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pursuitseternal · 1 year

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Dark Lord D*ck Measuring Season Two: Henchmen

Voldemort: And then my followers, those loyalest to me, would come out of the shadows, their cloaks black and their faces hidden. All my enemies had fear strike their hearts.

Vader: And all my inquisitors always had the same bright red lightsabers. People knew them… *breathes* the moment they ignited their weapons that is.

Voldemort: *crosses arms, noselessly smug* See, my Death Eaters were the best army of loyalists. Blackest robes, silver masks to cover their faces, magic tattoos…

Sauron: *suddenly tunes in* Wait, dark robes, covered faces… Scary…? Did you just rip off your loyal servants from my Nazgûl?

Voldemort: *defensive* OF course NOT!

Sauron: *lowers his stare*

Voldemort: …Okay fine. Yes. They are just so cool.

Sauron: I knew it! *ego pleasantly stroked* Can yours exist in the Seen and Unseen worlds?

Voldemort: No… *sheepishly* mine are just Wizards who hate other wizards and muggles, I mean, humans.

Sauron: *pause, considering* Have you tried giving them magic rings?

Mirthful Monday with the Dork Lords!

@thegreatzombieartisan @eowyn7023 @myfavouritelunatic @trinuviel @jurassiclexie @iamstartraveller776 @rosalysaoirse @helenvader @tenebrouswhims @mixingpumpkins @penelopeisshipping @allpowerfulnarrator @denzit

#dark lord dick measuring #dark lord love #dork lords #henchmen editition #sauron #the rings of power #halbrand #lotr rings of power #rings of power #lotr rop #darkling shadow and bone #the darkling #grishaverse #lord voldemord #voldemort #harry potter funny #darth vader #Star Wars

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jiwoonsea · 7 months

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“I tolerated Orin… but you…

You, I liked. “

Lord Gort or whatever he’s rotting my brain I’m shaking him vigorously in a box and rotating him in my brain rn

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taygra5shaon · 1 month

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SHADOW OF DURGE 2/4

here he comes out banite lord❤️

so, after some adjustments I divided the story in 4 0art, because the last one is .....a lot gory...

but still, enjoy!

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maedictus · 5 months

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What about side by side with a friend?

#I love their dynamic so much #Also yes I am pro dark-haired legolas hehe #very much inspired by yabusame for his design #I still have to work on gimli tho. will def change some things next time I draw him #legolas #gimli #lord of the rings #lotr #tolkien #art #my art #artists on tumblr #illustration #artwork

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xanthickee · 6 months

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bellandeano · 2 months

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so like. how many gentle touches do you think they've actually felt in their lives haha

#its fun to be angsty but gortash makes his whole thing people falling in love with him. he's not exactly #like he's not short on people treating him nicely. he's the problem. heart #durgetash #enver gortash #dark urge #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #lord enver gortash #sometimes. i think about them #original durge #durge #bg3 fanart #sfw #z draws #did you guys know its been 5 months since ive posted any art at all. its been abt that long since ive Drawn anything

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robo-beasty · 6 months

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Gortash: He hasn't texted, he hasn't called... Did I get DUMPED? Orin: I DON'T CARE. Now put your shirt back on, whoretash!! Ketheric: Please. Extra Durge snickering from the side because Gorty is being silly ♡

Gortash drawn by the wonderful @kaijusaur!!

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inkyquince · 7 months

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Okay so maybe in just brain rotted... And I am BUT.

Love interests fucking GRABBING the dark urge for a kissy after the meeting with gortash. Man's turning up the rizz and flexing his stubble and eye bags and his anti-anxiety robe and his voice is low and seductive as he calls the durge an old *friend*.

Like, Karlach wouldn't even wait to be out of the room. Not even take a few steps away. Fully turn to you, grab you by the shoulders and fucking LIFT you up to plant a big smooch on you. Much to Gortash's bemusement and horror tbf. And the rest of the court's.

Gale would be more subtle, stepping close as you head towards the stairs and quickly press a kiss to your cheek with a soft smile. No way anyone would think it's a platonic look of adoration, even if his stomach is still twisting with the revelation that it was YOUR actions that led to this.

Astarion? Yeah, your conversation wouldn't have even ended before he's doing his slutty lil lean against you, resting his chin on your shoulder, still seemingly fully absorbed into the conversation. After it ends, he presses a kiss to your neck and idly follows after you, bemused by his own spark of annoyance at Gortash and his reaction to it. Mostly just exasperated by it though.

Wyll is filled with outrage for his father, for karlach and now for you. The implications seeped in Gortash's words and yet when you had joined up with the group, you had been left in the trash heaped, bloodied and stricken with amnesia. He's disgusted. So on the way out, he takes another look at his father and then slips his hands into yours. Raises it and gently kisses your knuckles on the way out. Even some of the court coo at the cute, gentlemanly gesture. Gortash looks mildly grossed out and Wyll takes that win, even with the prospect of meeting back up with Mizora in a few seconds.

Lae'zel would bare her teeth at him, smack his down and break his face in, if.... Well, if everything else wasn't going on right now, and it would upset the tin soldiers. So she settles for the next best thing, as resentment and possessiveness curl her tongue. Just gripping your waist and pulling you closer should do it. But she must add in a quick, harsh bite to your lower lip. Yknow, just in case.

Shadowheart? Gods, to make it clear, she's dying to press you against the wall and slide a thigh against your crotch, but yknow. Polite company. So instead she just slips her arm around yours, pulls you closer and whisper into your ear. Looks more salacious than it is, as she whispers that your past isn't who you are now and then drops a kiss to your earlobe. But it should to the trick.

Halsin isn't an envious creature. He really isn't. This man wouldn't care about your current other partners, so why should he care about past ones? Potential past parents, nonetheless. But, he'd never turn down the chance to pull his love close, especially in front of the man that caused all this trouble to begin with. Pull you close and tuck you into his side, maybe even kiss your temple.

Gortash? Gortash has missed his favourite assassin. He's waited for you, even with Orin hissing about your demise, and he never truly believed that such a piece of subpar, inbred Bhaalspawn could compare to you. The one who stole the Crown, the one who helped mastermind, the one who your father had chosen first. So what in the world was your little fan thinking? After a sweet, pleasant conversation, to start to paw at you? A fool no doubt. They might have gotten a few lovely weeks with you, but he had been with you for far longer, and he was finished waiting. No, he didn't see them being a problem.

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maegalkarven · 7 months

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I've just played through Gortash's coronation with and without Karlach in the party and the difference-

Like when Karlach is in the party Gortash puts on a mask of composure and authority. Durge is still favorite assassin and all, but 'Lord Gortash' needs to maintain presence.

And then it's just Durge in the party and Gortash is a fucking smiling giggly mess. I can't express how freaking giggly he looks at EVERY second of the convo. Literally "blushing, giggling, twirling hair" kind of a vibe.

And WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK is that? How I'm supposed to NOT align with him??? How my Durge is supposed to not be immediately compelled to destroy the world just so this man kept looking at them like that?

#bg3 spoilers #lord enver gortash #enver gortash #durgetash #dark urge x gortash #if evil why so in love with durge????#help i can't finish act 3 bc of that man #I'm about to compromise the entire city for hin #he's so evil and wicked and shit and poor gondurans and poor refugees #but also @LARIAN PLS DURGETASH ROMANCE WHEN #help levi already has no morals his crush on a tyrant doesn't help that

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harbingersecho · 2 months

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"zuzu, you didn't tell your friends about me? i'm hurt."

#avatar the last airbender #atla #prince zuko #fire lord zuko #princess azula #fire hazard siblings #fire siblings #*24 #art #mine #zuko #azula #bg of this is something like. zuko's doing a secret mission and azula's helping for her own reasons. the gaang shows up and its a thing #idk im not a fanfic writer i just draw and have ideas lol #in my head azula becomes a spymaster. idk if she'd work for the fire nation or if she'd be more independant but i love spymaster azula <3 #also i love fire nation reflective in the dark eyes. i imagine water tribe has a similar thing w/ the moon

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clowningaroundmars · 2 months

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page full o' hobies 🎸

top pose inspired by @spectra-bear

process pics under da cut ↓

#mine #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #well YEEHAW im finally finished with this #after 3 trips to the craft and dollar store to buy stuff i needed #this page is FINALLY done good lord #its been... 3 weeks? since i 1st started this?#needless to say im sick of looking at this thing #im simultaneously kinda scared to post this bc im not 100% happy with it #but at the same time im like… so ready to just post this thang and be DONE with it #never lookin at this again jfc im sick of it #i love hobie dont get me wrong and i love drawing his face #but geeze louise #me doodling this while crying: hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hates consistency hobie hATES CONSISTENCY 😭😭😭#thats my excuse for not really uhhh getting his face down 100%#also god yeah i didnt get his skin nearly as dark as i wanted cuz uhhhh #ya boi was workin with shitty dollar store crayons #im ngl i kinda.... miss my alcohol markers :/ but whatever ig i did what i could lol

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pursuitseternal · 1 year

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Dark Lord Dick Measuring Season Two: Fathers

Sauron: Wait, wait. You’re telling me you’re too busy for me because you’re hanging out with Snake Face?

Loki: We have a lot in common.

Sauron: *pfft* Like using pathetic excuses?

Voldemort: Like killing our fathers. *happy, contented noseless smile*

Sauron: I may have been awake since before Creation, but that’s some serious childhood trauma. You can have each other… *glares at Loki* until you realize the mistake you’ve made hanging out with this loser.

*puts arms around Darkling and Vader*

Sauron: At least we made it without killing our fathers.

Darkling: I never knew my father. *shrugs* Not that my mother made up for it at all.

Sauron: What about you Sith Lord?

Vader: *breathes* Technically I was fathered by Midichlorians.

Sauron: *confused look* What are…? *pauses in smug righteousness* Wait, no. Not gonna ask, too happy to have proven my point.

After Credits Easter Egg…

Loki: Hey, Sauron! Wait…

Sauron: *sassy side eye* Don’t you have a new best friend to annoy?

Loki: You wound me to think I didn’t have nefarious purposes…

Sauron: Like finding things out to mock and ridicule? *interested side eye*

Loki: I can’t believe you ever doubted me. *claps Sauron on the back as they start to walk away together* Have you ever heard him speak of… Parseltongue?

Sauron: *cackles as Loki hisses*

You asked for more Loki and Sauron 💖. Just a pair of sexy bullies and frenemies 4 life.

@thegreatzombieartisan @eowyn7023 @myfavouritelunatic @jurassiclexie @trinuviel @coraleethroughthelookingglass @somebirdortheother @iamstartraveller776 @rosalysaoirse @helenvader @penelopeisshipping @allpowerfulnarrator @denzit

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jaca3rys · 3 months

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No because Padmé was crazy for not kissing this man every time she saw him I would have made out with him every time

#thinking about fucking that war criminal again #anakin skywalker #star wars anakin #darth vader #i would also have joined him on his path to the dark side too idgaf i WANT him #star wars #okay but this applies to aotc Anakin too though #Anakin Skywalker appreciation post #yes im still hyperfixated #i would die for him #want him to love me like he loves Padmé #thirsting hard #star wars content #star wars darth vader #I ♥️ my lord Darth Vader #i love it when men are lana del rey coded

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gravedigg · 4 months

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They're in their honeymoon phase uwu. I redrew this old piece of mine, I hope I redeemed myself.

Full nsfw here

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jaqobis · 5 months

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truly think one of the other lowkey funniest moments in hdm is when mrs coulter says she and asriel should've kept and raised lyra. like it's such a poignant scene, and i see where she was coming from, but also she was completely wrong. oh god. if there are two people who should not be around a child it's asriel "child killer" belacqua and marisa "child torture, for science" coulter. like, mostly staying away from lyra for a lot of her childhood was in fact the best thing they could've done for her. good job team. that is not the thing to regret here

#god i love this family. they're unhinged.#his dark materials #marisa coulter #asriel belacqua #lord asriel

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muwitch · 6 months

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you think you busted them? jokes on you

#bg3 #enver gortash #durgetash #gortash x durge #baldur's gate 3 #mu draws #dark urge #durge #teth the black #look residential clown is back that is me #perfect heist by blue stahli playing bass boosted #lord goretrash my beloved once I will know how zoo draw u properly until then I suffer in a special hell #ppl who got the reference I love y’all

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