obi-wan, preparing for a solo mission: and anakin, one last thing. temporary command over the 212th does not mean you can treat them like the 501st. please leave the planning to cody.

anakin: don't worry master, i'm sure the commander and i can work something out

[three days later in the resolute's medbay]

cody: *stares at anakin*

anakin: *stares at cody*

cody: i won't tell him you head-butted the separatist leader while in handcuffs and a blindfold without a lightsaber if you won't tell him i jumped right into that tank of acid to block the drain and disable the cannon attached to it

anakin: you got yourself a deal, commander

Words Like Pins and Needles in My Ears (#10 Whumptober 2022)

Prompt: Taser | Whipping | Waterboarding (Alt Prompt: Sensory Overload)

Fandom: Star Wars- All Media Types, Star Wars - The Clone Wars (2008)

Pairing: CC-2224 | Cody/ Obi-Wan Kenobi

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Autistic!Obi-Wan, Self-Deprecating Obi-Wan

Summary: Obi-Wan had known better, really, than to visit a mall on a Saturday but Cody had just looked so proud of his proposal that he hadn’t the heart to turn the man down.

Turns out he should have, because he makes a complete fool of himself.

--- Fic Under the Cut---

Obi-Wan probably should have thought better of it, but he hadn’t been able to help it.

He and Cody had been dancing around each other for months.

From the moment that they’d been assigned together as a pair for a project in their Plant Science and Biotechnology course, Obi-Wan had been excited.

He’d grown used to just having to do the project for the group—since his idea of a good grade and most of the students' ideas were completely different since they didn’t need to keep their scholarships—and it was refreshing to have been paired with someone who’d come to the first meeting with a notebook and a list of ideas that he thought might work.

The project had gone off without a hitch, much to Obi-Wan’s delight, and somewhere along the way—probably when they’d been in lab trying to recreate results at nearly ten at night while the overworked TA had been waiting for the clock to turn so he could kick them out—Obi-Wan had decided that not only was Cody an amazing project partner, but he was also…

Really cute.

He was a little bit shorter than Obi-Wan, which definitely wasn’t a problem, and he’d apparently gained his own scholarship through lacrosse, which Obi-Wan could definitely appreciate.

Or rather, Obi-Wan could appreciate the muscles that resulted from it, since Cody looked like something out of one of Obi-Wan’s wet dreams and he had dimples. 

So really, Obi-Wan hadn’t stood a chance.

And he hadn’t thought that he stood a chance in hell at getting a date with the man either.

Until Cody had asked him out one night, after they’d already gotten the final results of their project and they were filing out of the lecture hall, face pink as he’d asked and of course, Obi-Wan had said yes.

And then, he’d promptly ruined things.

Really, it’d been a bad idea.

Obi-Wan had never really liked malls, to begin with, and mix the fact that it was a Saturday and it was a recipe for disaster. He should have just admitted that the mall wasn’t his thing and suggested another place to go.

Except he hadn’t done that and it had started to get too loud.

The noise had started to grate on his nerves like everyone was screaming directly in his ear and he could hear Cody talking to him but he couldn’t actually understand what the man was trying to say to him.

And then the seams of his pants had felt like pins and needles and he couldn’t help but think he should have remembered to cut the tag off the new shirt that he’d decided to wear—or better yet, choose a shirt that he knew he’d be comfortable in—and it felt like it was stabbing him in the back of the neck.

Even though it was winter and Obi-Wan knew realistically that it couldn’t be true he started to feel like he was sweltering, the temperature unbearably hot even though only a few minutes ago it’d been comfortable.

Obi-Wan felt like he couldn’t breathe like he couldn’t speak and then when Cody touched his arm, something in him snapped.

He’d run without thinking, his only thought was that he needed to get outside so that he would be able to breathe again and it wasn’t until he’d been out the door near the bus stop that he’d realized he’d left Cody behind.

And that Cody probably wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

Something had sunk in Obi-Wan’s chest and he decided to save them both the embarrassment and just catch the bus back to the dorms so that he wouldn’t have to face the man.

When he’d finally made his way back, walking passed his roommate and shutting himself in his room, he’d finally let himself cry.

It would figure that Obi-Wan would find someone who was as amazing as Cody and then promptly blow his chance and he was sure the next day he’d be the talk of the lacrosse locker room—the man who’d run out on Cody in the mall like he was insane in the middle of a date before Cody could even attempt to pay for dinner or make any passes to get laid—and he’d decide to never talk to Obi-Wan again.

He’d done so well.

He’d picked out his planned meal ahead of time, so that he wouldn’t look strange trying to find something familiar on the menu and he’d practiced over and over how he was going to tell Cody that he’d want a few more dates before they made it back to his place.

Which was pathetic, seeing as how he couldn’t even get passed the first hour and hanging around the mall.

Obi-Wan wiped at his tears with his sleeves, and then angrily pulled it—and its stupid tag—off so that he could put on one of his softer sweaters, trying to decide if it would be worth it to skip his next Plant Science and Biotechnology class so that he wouldn’t have to face the man after completely embarrassing himself since they only had one more class before the final.

He grabbed a blanket off of his bed, deciding that he was too tired to move and plugged his phone in as he kicked off his shoes, sniffling and vowing to never accept a date ever again.

Creeps as shit I’ve done:

Cody: *makes pasta in the microwave in a crock pot bowl*

Toby: *screams angrily and loudly only to realize his windows are rolled down in the Walmart parking lot*

Brian: Bold of you to assume I sleep. *passed out and snoring ten minutes later*

Kate: Sometimes I wonder if I’m really faking my sexuality like my parents said. Then I see women.

Tim: *deep inhale* It smells like depression in here. *in his own room and is alone*

EJ: *goes on an hour long tangent about how honor based anarchy is a viable solution to the US problems*

Roz: *blankly states while getting lectured* Does this mean no comp day?

Fletch: *falls out of a tree and lays on the ground for a minute* This is it. This is how I die. (You good fam?) Let me be consumed by the mushroom gods.

Helen: *painting and decides to give up on wiping and cleaning their brushes* *instead gets rid of excess paint on their body*

Pup: *stares in the mirror for thirty minutes flexing* That’s a dAMN FINE MAN.

Ben: *playing LOZ on a 24 hour shift* (how is that game?) Honestly? Lit. The main story is kinda shit but I’ve been doing side quests for about a hundred hours-

Is This The Start, Midpoint, or Finale? Chapter 4: Passing Time

Codywan Merman/Modern AU

Story Summary: Cody has spent the last several months recovering from a car crash that completely upturned his life. When spending a day on the St. Lawrence River, he finds something that should be impossible– a merman. An injured merman. And, well, there’s not much to do except bring him home and fix him up.

Read on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/33756109/chapters/85388758

A week passes. They quickly make a schedule. Breakfast at nine, lunch at noon, dinner at six. Early on Cody has to run to the store to get things for Obi-Wan’s liquid diet-- he’s an omnivore too, so Cody doesn’t have to worry about finding replacements for meat, exactly. Which is good. They make an agreement about their respective recoveries, too; Obi-Wan won’t overexert himself so long as Cody doesn’t, they’ll take their medicines at the same times (dosages allowing, at least), and having someone to talk to makes it easier to ignore their respective pains and aches, anyway.

Two days into the week, Obi-Wan asks for some softer blankets. Cody doesn’t actually have any, so he runs to the store and buys some of the fuzziest throw blankets he can find. He buys some other things, too, just in case-- a pair of boxers, a single cotton shirt, a pair of mesh gym shorts, and a knee-length plaid skirt with an elastic waistband. He’s not entirely sure they’ll fit Obi-Wan, but he’s pretty good at eyeing sizes and it’s better to have them just in case he needs to cover up.

He gives the blankets to Obi-Wan, but keeps the clothes hidden for the time being. He also has to help Obi-Wan get situated with the blankets-- one to cover the couch (so Obi-Wan can lay on it rather than the couch, which he also calls scratchy) and one to cover him (despite Cody’s protests).

Obi-Wan finds himself enraptured with the TV. News, cartoons, soap operas, and everything in between. Cody supposes it must seem pretty strange; a box with hundreds, thousands of different stories to watch. They watch Jeopardy every night, and while Obi-Wan rarely knows the answers, he seems to enjoy it.

Cody also answers every question Obi-Wan has, and he has a lot. Sometimes he has a question about a word or phrase-- he hadn’t learned English in an academic setting, or even by being surrounded by English speakers. He’d had one person teach him what he knew, and so he has plenty of gaps in his knowledge. Sometimes Obi-Wan has questions about technology. Other times he has questions about animals. At one point they have a two hour discussion on American culture, with short interludes into other world cultures.

Another thing that takes up their time is the realization that Obi-Wan can’t read. He can read in his own language, sure, but the person that had taught him to speak English hadn’t taught him to read it. The English Alphabet is an utter mystery to him. So, Cody spends quite a bit of time teaching him the alphabet.

Despite all of their talking, though, Cody notices that Obi-Wan rarely talks about himself. He’ll reference things, sometimes, people, and Cody’s aware enough not to pry. If Obi-Wan doesn’t want to talk about his past, then he probably has a reason. Cody’s just happy he’s talking, honestly. It gives him someone to talk to, instead of wallowing in his own misery.

Another week passes. Kix stops by, checks up on them-- both of them, and Cody gets treated to a ten minute lecture on how to properly take care of himself so he heals correctly. Cody doesn’t tell him that Obi-Wan can’t walk so Cody has to help him get around when he has to use the bathroom. Obi-Wan also gets cleared to start eating real food, so long as they slowly reintroduce him.

One night while they’re eating dinner-- chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy-- Obi-Wan turns to him. “You never told me how you got hurt.”

Cody pauses, fork halfway to his mouth. He sets his fork back on his plate. He doesn’t look at Obi-Wan. “You didn’t tell me how you got hurt, either.”

Obi-Wan frowns. “Fair enough.” He goes back to eating.

Somehow, that only serves to make Cody feel worse. He sighs. “Car crash.” “Do those happen often?” Obi-Wan says.

Cody looks at him. There’s nothing but genuine curiosity on his face. “Yeah, but with the amount of people using cars it’s not unexpected, I guess. It’s not enough to make people think driving isn’t worth it.”

“I see.” Obi-Wan tilts his head. “I assume it was fairly bad, or recent, if you’re still recovering.”

Cody sniffs. “Both. I was in the hospital for a few months.”

“I’m terribly sorry.”

Cody leans over and sets his plate on the coffee table. He isn’t hungry anymore. “I’m fine. The others involved weren’t so lucky.”

Obi-Wan sucks in a breath. “Oh, dear. I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have said anything. Pretend I didn’t say anything.”

Another look at Obi-Wan shows that his ears have turned red. He’s watching Cody with a devastated look on his face; a pursed mouth and wide, wide eyes. Cody sighs and shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. You didn’t know. I didn’t even know the others involved.”

“Still…” Obi-Wan says. He reaches out and wraps a hand around Cody’s wrist. “I understand. Sometimes… sometimes it’s hard being the survivor.”

***

“What books are those?”

Cody sits on the couch by Obi-Wan’s feet. “They’re kid’s books. When I was looking for my old wheelchair for you I found a whole bunch in the series in a box in the basement; I used to read them when I was a kid, same as most of my brothers. Rex must’ve kept them as we grew out of them.”

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow. “You’re going to read a kid’s book?”

Cody shrugs, grinning. “I want to see if they’re any good now that I’m an adult. Probably not, but it’ll be funny to reread the books that used to terrify me as a kid and now realize that they’re incredibly ridiculous.”

He holds up the four in his hands so Obi-Wan can see the covers. “These were my favorites. Werewolf of Fever Swamp, Say Cheese and Die, A Night in Terror Tower, and Night of the Living Dummy.”

He lets Obi-Wan read them at his own pace. He’s learning quickly, quicker than children do, but then again, he is a full-grown adult. Obi-Wan hums. “So they’re supposed to be scary? And for children?”

“Yeah.” Cody sets the books in his lap. “They aren’t that bad, or they wouldn’t have been marketed for kids. And honestly, they aren’t always scary-- I don’t think I was scared by Werewolf of Fever Swamp once. It was more of an adventure than anything else.”

“Intriguing.” Obi-Wan leans forward. “Could you read one to me?”

Cody grins, suddenly elated. “Which one?”

“Surprise me.”

Cody opens up Night of the Living Dummy and starts reading.

***

With a grunt, Cody sets Obi-Wan in the half-filled bathtub. He stands.

“Thank you, Cody.” Obi-Wan says. His face is pink.

Cody shrugs, his own face hot. “It’s no problem.”

“You’re always helping me get around, even with that wheelchair. It seems a tad unfair.” Obi-Wan runs a hand through the water. He sighs. “Oh, it’s nice to be in the water again.”

Cody rubs the back of his head. “Sorry your whole tail won’t fit.”

Obi-Wan smiles at him. It makes his stomach swoop. “Beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll deal.”

Cody steps back as Obi-Wan’s tail begins to transform. His legs morph together, become red, and grow-- and Obi-Wan’s long tail spreads across the tiny bathroom. Now that he’s able to get a better look at it, Cody decides that it’s definitely eel-like. There are rosettes of darker red patterned across it, with flecks of yellow here and there, too.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Cody says, catching himself staring. “Uh, I know you said you don’t need soap, but I put a washcloth over the faucet in case you wanted to scrub yourself down. To empty the tub all you have to do is flick the lever below the faucet. If you want to refill, just flick the lever again and twist the handle to the left. The further left you go, the warmer the water gets.”

“Thank you, Cody.”

Cody smiles. “Just call for me when you’re done.”

He steps around Obi-Wan’s tail and heads for the door where the wheelchair waits.

“Oh, Cody?”

He stops. “Yeah?” He turns to look at Obi-Wan.

“Ah… do you think you could teach me to walk? I hate making you carry me around.”

Oh. Huh. “Yeah, I can do that.”

***

Cody sits on the edge of the coffee table, facing Obi-Wan. “Are you ready?”

Obi-Wan nods, jaw set. “Yes.”

Cody leans forward. He tucks his arms under Obi-Wan’s and wraps them around his back. Obi-Wan grips Cody’s shoulders, and slowly, Cody stands, lifting Obi-Wan with him. For a few moments, they wobble as Cody supports the two of them. At least he’s wearing the skirt I bought him.

All in all, it’s probably not the best way to teach Obi-Wan to walk. But he doesn’t have all the equipment that his PT does, and Obi-Wan isn’t relearning to walk after an injury like most people do. Babies learn to walk from trial and error, so… Obi-Wan can do that too. Still, it’s a somewhat awkward position, and Cody won’t be able to hold them both upright forever. 

“Balance, Obi-Wan.” Cody says.

Obi-Wan snorts, tilting his head forward. His forehead almost touches Cody’s. “My knees do not want to cooperate, Cody.”

“They’re no different than your elbows.” Cody looks down. His feet are planted, firm, but Obi-Wan’s… he’s standing pigeon-toed on the balls of his feet, knees shaking like a scared cartoon character. Cody chuckles. “You’ve stood before.”

“That was weeks ago.” Obi-Wan says. “I was more injured, yes, but my legs had much more muscle than they do now.”

It’s true, but it’s not like Obi-Wan’s been doing nothing with his legs. He’s crawled several times, for various reasons mostly due to Cody not being around, and he hasn’t been immune to restless leg syndrome, either. But, well. Eventually Obi-Wan’s legs straighten out and his balance improves.

“Think you can take a few steps?” Cody asks him.

Obi-Wan huffs. “You’re doing all the hard work. Yes, I think I can manage a few steps.”

Cody grins. Obi-Wan does the same. Carefully, Cody maneuvers them around and takes a step back. Obi-Wan takes an uncoordinated step forward. Then they do it again, and again, and again. He takes another step back, and-- his leg locks up. He has a brief moment to think oh no, and his leg gives out. They collapse in a heap on the ground.

His head bounces (fairly lightly, in Cody’s opinion) off the floor. His back hurts, his leg hurts. Obi-Wan rolls off of him with a groan. Cody turns his head to look at him. “Are you alright,  Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan rubs his still-bandaged side. “Yes, I’m fine. I don’t think I reopened anything. Was that your leg?”

“Guess I overtaxed myself.” Cody sits up. He sighs. “You’d think that after all this time I wouldn’t still be having issues like that.”

“Recovery isn’t a straight line.” Obi-Wan says. “But, you know, that could have been worse. At least we didn’t fall onto the coffee table?” “That’s fair.” Cody says, and with another sigh, he flops back on the ground as dramatically as he can. “I think I’m just going to stay here for a minute.”

Obi-Wan snorts. “Well, allow me to join you.”

***

Cody rubs his eyes. He’s fucking exhausted; he’s been awake for far too long at this point and he’s still got several hours to go before he can sleep. And, of course, he’s driving, which really creates just a terrible situation. He rubs his eyes again.

Twenty more minutes and he’ll be home…

Cody snaps awake. Oh, thank god. His heart beats faster than is healthy, but he knows it’ll go away soon enough, as long as he doesn’t get caught up in a panic attack. He rolls out of bed. Somehow, it’s nine in the morning. He rarely sleeps this late, waking up around seven-thirty, eight o’clock. He may not be working right now, but that’s no excuse to be sleeping this late.

He makes his way into the living room. Unlike every other day before at this time, Obi-Wan isn’t on the couch. Hm. “Obi-Wan?”

“In here!” Obi-Wan shouts from the kitchen. His voice is strained. 

Cody walks into the kitchen. He finds, caught between amusement and trepidation, that Obi-Wan is holding himself up at the counter. The wheelchair is right behind him. Obi-Wan grins.

“...having fun?” Cody asks, walking over. He stops in front of the wheelchair.

“I’m making coffee.” He says pleasantly. “I only need one arm for that, so I can use my other to hold myself up. I was going to wake you.”

A smile stretches across Cody’s face, unbidden. “Thank you.” He puts a gentle hand on his shoulder. “But please, sit down before you fall.”

“I’m fine, Cody.”

“Get in the wheelchair. Please.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and sighs. “Yes, alright. Help me?”

Cody guides him back into the wheelchair, and together they wait for the coffee to brew. Obi-Wan wheels himself to the fridge to get milk-- Cody prefers his coffee black, and Obi-Wan prefers tea, but when he does drink coffee, he uses a lot of milk. Coffee made, they retreat to the living room. Obi-Wan gets himself settled in his spot. Cody sits next to him and hands him his coffee.

“Perhaps I could start with the walker.” Obi-Wan says.

Cody gives him a look. “I think you have some time still. Your legs-”

“-my legs are in fine shape.” Obi-Wan protests.

“The muscles have atrophied. And your side still isn’t healed.”

“Cody.”

“Obi-Wan.” They stare at each other. “After Rex gets back, at least.”

“Well I didn’t mean tomorrow, Cody.” Obi-Wan huffs. He turns serious. “Cody.”

Cody raises an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

“Thank you for being so kind to me. You had no reason to.” He sighs. “And you get nothing out of teaching me to walk, yet you’ve been supportive in every way.”

Cody gives him a gentle smile. “It hasn’t been a problem. You needed help, and I wasn’t going to turn my back. Besides,” he grins, “now I can focus on you instead of my own problems.”

“I’m glad I’ve been of help in that regard.” Obi-Wan says dryly. Without warning, he leans closer.

Cody swallows. “I was thinking. Rex should be home by the end of the week. I’ll have to introduce you. But before that, I really should go grocery shopping. Do you want to go with me?”

Obi-Wan blinks. A smile stretches across his face. “I would love to.”

***

“What is this?” Obi-Wan asks, pointing at a pear.

“That’s a pear. It’s a fruit, like apples.” Cody says. “I’ll get it for you, if you want to try it.”

“Oh, no, I was just curious as to what it was.”

Cody rolls his eyes. “If you say so.”

They move on to the meat section, Cody pushing the cart with Obi-Wan wheeling behind. Later, cashing out, Cody sees a singular pear sitting on the belt, and grins.

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 6, The Day That Wasn’t.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Number Five

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time.

Also, no I can’t do better. I am in no way qualified to give this level of criticism about anything. 

[Today we got the s2 release date!! I am so excited. To answer any questions about that, I will probably do a season 2 version of this a year after it comes out. Since some of my sins involve fandom and any fic tropes/theories we might come up with, I want to make sure that has time to happen.]

The Day that Wasn’t 

Only Dave notices Klaus coming to Vietnam via briefcase. The flashing blue lights and loud “oof!” isn’t loud enough to wake anyone else up. +1

Cody Ray Thompson’s workout routine. -1

“Katz” isn’t a fandom thing! The dude that is yelling at all the soldiers and Klaus to get ready (some sort of commanding officer?) calls Dave “Katz”! -1

Klaus is so confused that he just puts the pants on without really questioning it. What the fuck was going on in Klaus’s head? +1

Where is Ben? +1

Right where I’m paused Klaus’s face is hilarious. “It was at this moment Klaus knew. He fucked up” -1

The Power of Boners is what keeps Klaus in the fucking Vietnam War. +1

For all future Dave sins, I am calling it The Power of Boners because Dave gets one line. As soon as the show corrects this and shows us why Dave was so wonderful, these remain sins. Sin for the show for not providing more Dave content. +1

Overly saturated forigen country cliche. +1

Seriously, why is Vietnam so orange? +1

The Doors. -1

This one shot in the foreground of the girl with white boots. I want those boots so badly. Costume people, where did you get them? Sin until I know, damnit! +1

Cool white boots are cool. -1

Klaus’s dance moves. -1

Klave. -1

Scene does not contain a lap dance. +1

Or any other indication that Dave and Klaus didn’t just make out once and decided to remain friends. Please give me more Klave content show. If anything, just to flesh out this character who motivates Klaus for half of the season. +1

Luther barges in on people in the bathroom. He has six siblings! Anyone with at least one sibling knows that barging in on people in bathrooms is a shitty move. Heh, shitty move, bathroom, get it? +1

Klaus’s face when Luther deadpans “the world’s ending in three days”. It’s the face of someone who completely forgot about that since he’s been in the 60s for ten months. -1

Also, the way Luther tells Klaus “the world’s ending in three days” is the same way I might tell my brother that it’s time for dinner. +1

“Five’s a little- [coo coo whistle]” Emmy Raver-Lampman kills this line. -1

Luther’s face when Allison asks “what did Five even see?” brings me so much joy. That is the look of complete panic. Love that. -1

Luther can’t lie for shit. Checks out. -1

Anyone with siblings can relate to Diego, Allison, and Klaus’s reaction to this bull. -1

The dramatic music leading into the little “we died” followed by a sip of coffee. Priceless. -1

Title umbrella scares the shit out of Klaus! -1

Comic power foreshadowing? Sin until we get answers. +1

Foreshadowing that Five is in HQ by sending orders that don’t follow the same format as the rest of the ones on the shoe. Fiveshaddowing? -1

Kate Walsh plays an excellent villain. Part of that evil demeanor is getting all up in Five’s personal bubble. This is the closest Five has been to someone in the entire show without any injury or being drunk. -1

The Handler is creepy. +2

Five makes demands after setting foot in the building for less than one minute. +1

The masks from the comics are on the wall in the briefcase room. -1

Based on the two agents we see in the briefcase room and Hazel and Cha Cha, the uniform of the commission assassin is a blue suit, yet all of Five’s are grey or black like management. Inconsistency. +1

Typewriters. I hate those things. +1

I think Aidan Gallagher forgot what he was doing in this scene. His expression doesn’t look like Five, it looks like some kid who is letting a math lecture wash over them. You could make the argument that Five is sort of letting this wash over him too, but I would call bullshit. Five knows how dangerous of a situation he’s in right now. He shouldn’t look this calm. +1

The Handler touching Five’s face. +3

Dot has the “i’m in danger” expression when meeting Five because Dot let Five live in hell for 45 years. Five also looks like he wants to kill her. Great acting, Patrice Goodman. -1

Five’s expression when Dot says “No hard feelings” brings me so much joy. And fear. -1

The Handler makes Five the teacher’s pet on his first day by calling him leadership material in front of his new coworkers. +1

Kate Walsh was temporarily directed by Tim Burton for this scene. +1

That weird look one of the commission management people gives Five once Five sits down and starts working. I don’t like it, I don’t like it! +1

The Hargreeves mansion looks really fucking chaotic on the roof. I don’t like it. +1

Leonard’s face at finally being allowed inside the Hargreeves mansion. Just the right dose of satisfied and creepy. Well done, John Magaro. -1

Leonard is raising so many red flags that he may as well be a stop sign. +1

Umbrella Academy action figures. Oh, Reggie. +1

Luther has to explain that everyone in the whole world dies and not just them. The Umbrella Academy School of Delayed Reactions due to Stupidity was too long of a name so Reggie shortened it to The Umbrella Academy. +1

Allison’s right, Vanya isn’t being fair. However, Allison isn’t specific about how Vanya is family but Leonard is not. Sin for both of them for being dumb as hell. +2

“I’m gonna go find Vanya” “There isn’t time, we need to figure out what causes the apocalypse” irony. +1

“Nuclear war” cited as one of the possible causes of the apocalypse. Comics fans, enjoy this sin off. -1

“But I’m thinking this is about the Moon, right?” well yeah, but not for the reasons you think. Foreshadowing the moon. -1

That creepy portrait of Five behind Diego. No, not the big one, the other one by the bar. What the fuck, Reggie? +1

Leonard steals the action figure of The Monocle (reggie for those who don’t know the comics), which symbolizes the way Leonard feels he is controlling the Academy through Vanya. -1

Leonard is creepy. +1

Ben doesn’t realize that Klaus is going through withdrawal despite seeing it the day before. Sure, Ben could have been more focused on the tourture, but because Ben points out Klaus’s withdrawal by name in Man on the Moon, we can assume he noticed and that this is a continuity error. +1

Vanya’s powers affecting the world around her as soon as she is a safe distance away from the academy because reasons. Seriously, there should have been at least something while she was confronting her siblings. Show plays fast and loose with the rules of Vanya’s powers. +1

“If you tie me up after.” “Come again?” Diego and Klaus have the most sibling like relationship on this entire show. -1

Klaus’s Diego impression. -1

Excessive use of the word “bro”. One sin for every time I have to hear it in this scene. +2

“Mr. Five”. Is Five’s first name “Number” or did he not give the Commission any other name? Does this imply that he doesn’t go by Five Hargreeves? +1

This is one of the few scenes where Aidan Gallagher no longer looks like Aidan Gallagher and instead looks like Five. Acting. -1

Dot is really trying to get murdered. Don’t engage the man you put through hell for almost fifty years, moron. +1

The Handler has nothing better to do than to stalk Five. Does this lady have a job or did she take the day off specifically for this? What was she doing in the tube room?+1

The origin of “deadly little thing” is fucking Gloria? Really, fandom? +1

Five is too good of an actor. I understand why Aidan Gallagher might make some of these choices as an actor but I don’t understand how a man who grew up alone in the apocalypse can act this well. +1

The Handler keeps singling Five out in front of his coworkers. +1

The Handler’s arm around Five’s shoulders. +1

Creepy dude is back. I’m not even going to try and look up this guy’s name, but the expression suggests something I don’t want to think about. +1

Creepy guy’s name is Herb. Of course it is. +1

The file Five picks up just has a smiley face inside of it, which suggests that the Handler put it there as a red herring. Nice touch, show. -1

Gender neutral bathrooms. -1

Five’s expression when the Handler continues talking to him as she is peeing. -1

The Handler talks to Five while peeing. Gross. +2

His expression when she starts coughing is so funny. -1

Rugae +1

The Handler peeks over the door of the bathroom stall. +10

Cha Cha says, “Sure, shoot” when Hazel asks if he can ask her a question. +1

Where did the gunshot come from if Cha Cha didn’t shoot Hazel? I get they’re using it to make us think that she did, but there is no other explanation for the noise. +1

Luther frantically searching for his moon research makes me very sad. +1

Also, I’m kind of bored with this episode at this point. It’s such a low episode with the only interesting parts that make me as excited as the last episode Number Five, being the Commission parts. Everything else is kind of boring. Pick up the pace, show. +1

Reggie is a dick to Luther. +7

Luther looks so lost and broken and sad. I’m sad. Fuck you, Reggie. +1

Why the fuck was Luther carrying an axe?? +2

And rope?? +2

When and where did Luther find the time and money to get the engraved gold locket for Allison? This interaction is so full of plot holes and stupidity. +1

However, Cameron Brodeur and Eden Cupid do well with this dumb writing. -1

Seriously, who wrote this scene? The fact that I can’t bring myself to care about what is going on right now says a lot. +1

Reggie jump scare. +1

Cliche record scratch. How did that happen? Did Luther or Allison bump into it? Sin for lack of clarity and for destroying a record. +1

“Fun and games are restricted to Saturdays between noon and half past noon” Reggie is a dick to his children. +7

Klaus and Diego bonding. Literally? -1

Ben is in this scene! -1

I forgot how weird the soundtrack is for this scene. It’s too ominous. Scoring is important. +1

“Dave must have been a very special person to put up with all your weird-ass shit.” -1

“He was kind and strong and vulnerable and beautiful” that’s great, show. Why don’t you show us that instead of having Klaus say it. Just once scene where Dave shows these qualities so that he’s a real person instead of someone created to drive Klaus’s storyline? Please? +1

I feel really bad for Ben in this scene. From Ben’s perspective, he wasn’t good enough to motivate Klaus to get sober, but this random guy was. Ben angst. +1

Also, Justin Min manages to convey this without any lines. Major props. That takes some serious skill. -2

Bro. +1

“Everyone I like is already dead”. Fridging. +1

I can’t tell if this is Ben walking away or if this is the transition between Diego and Klaus’s point of views. If this is meant to imply the pov switch, It would have been easier to have Ben disappear from the same spot. If it’s Ben walking away because he can’t take being told that he isn’t good enough to get sober for, Ben angst. Either way, it’s a sin. +1

“Aww shit! I need to pee.” Diego’s expression is amazing. -1

“If this [having powers] is even true, everything I know about myself would be different.” That is Vanya’s storyline in a nutshell. This line is really underrated. -1

All of Leonard’s lines point towards the book. All of them. Which makes total sense. -1

Vanya is starting to show more sass and personality because the pills are gone. I wish fanfic writers would explore this. Including myself, I am sinning fanfic writers for not taking into account how cool Vanya is without the meds. +1

“I’m sorry you got stuck with the ordinary one” See! +1

“Ordinary” This word keeps coming up. Probably because of the whole rumor situation that we’re not supposed to know about yet. Rewatches are fun. -1

“My life is so weird” “I like weird”. And if you weren’t such a colossal creep, Leonard/Harold, I would like you too. This line is super sweet. Sin for manipulation. +1

Ellen Page isn’t my girlfriend. Have you seen this scene recently? She looks so cute/hot/beautiful here. +1

No transition, just straight from Leonard and Vanya kissing to The Handler slurping her smoothie. It’s jarring. +1

I want to know why they decided that killing Archduke Ferdinand would start World War I. Noodle incident. +1

“I had a bad Twinkie in the apocalypse once. Kinda put me off desserts.” Yet you still ate the fluffernutter sandwich, Five? +1

The Handler’s office is really cool. Once again, set designers you win this one. -1

Why would Five go straight for a decade instead of a flavor? How does something taste like the 1950s before it tastes like a popular candy from the time for example? +1

The suit is blue like the rest of the time travel assassins have. This suggests a uniform that the Commission didn’t make Five wear before, and suggests a sort of power play. Details. -1

The Handler is a fucking creep. +1

“M26 grenades from the Vietnam war”. This is the comment that sparked the theory that the Commission killed Dave. I want answers. +1

The candy that tastes like the 50s is really chewy. Why is Five still chewing it? +1

The Handler gives Five a pistol and he doesn’t immediately shoot her, which suggests that the pistol is empty. So why was the grenade still operational if the other weapons were not? You would think she would make sure that the grenades couldn’t be used against her. +1

The Handler is a fucking creep. I think Aidan Gallagher was a little uncomfortable in this scene. The look in his eyes isn’t something you can fake. +1

Kate Walsh is an awesome actress. -1

Out of all the candies in the bowl, Five conveniently takes one that is an actual candy and one that is a tracker. +1

So I want to talk about Luther. I think the show did him a great disservice by setting up his story this way. Compared to the Commission stuff, Luther’s story arc doesn’t seem important, hence the “Dad sent me to the Moon” jokes. If this was in a better order, then maybe the fandom would like Luther more. Not that I know what that order should have been, but it definitely shouldn’t have been this one. This whole episode seems kind of disorganized and Luther’s character suffers for it. After this sin, I’m going to shut up about it, so I’ll just add a few and move on. +5

“Four years of my life. A lie” “What an asshole” That’s a bit of an understatement, Allison. Seriously, this Moon research has got to have some value to it. Luther was studying the moon for four fucking years. Who knows what kind of crazy shit he could have found out about the moon’s atmosphere and what the Earth was like when the moon split from it. Those soil samples would tell us a lot about what the developing planet Earth was like. Luther’s moon research is important scientific material. And Reggie just locked it away. +3

This scene is excellent independently. Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver-Lampman play off each other extremely well. -1

“Can I show you something?” +1

The tools in the greenhouse have not moved in seventeen years. +1

And neither has the dust free record player. +1

Two cans of generic cola from seventeen years ago. And these two morons drink them. The family brain cell is dying. +1

This is such a sibling moment. Trying to do something nice and then it all goes up in flames? Sibling. Culture. -1

You know what isn’t sibling culture? The fucking locket. +3

This is a really human moment for Cha Cha. Burning the note shows that deep down, she cares about Hazel. -1

However, I don’t understand why she’s so pissed about Agnes. Is the show trying to ship Hazel and Cha Cha? Because that would be a stretch and I really don’t see it. +1

Klaus asking for one last hit is believable. Diego’s reaction is really good too. Well done. -1

Klaus’s ptsd. Putting my boy through trauma. +1

The wound on Dave’s chest has to be an exit wound. He was behind the barrier, so there’s no way he could have been shot from the front by the enemy. Someone (like a Commission agent) shot him from the back. So I guess we sort of got answers? I’m going to sin this until we know for sure. +1

Klaus is distraught. My poor boy. +1

Why is the chandelier still on the ground? You would think somebody would have attempted to pick that up at this point, right? It’s been two days. +1

Grace’s more relaxed hairstyle shows that she isn’t under Reggie’s strict control anymore. The tight pin curls are now replaced by gorgeous waves. Symbolism, well done hair stylist. -1

Grace lies because Pogo is standing behind Diego. Otherwise, I think she would have told him the truth right then and there. Secrets. +1

Yo, @ Luther. Who the fuck eats a hot dog like that? +1

Also, it was bright daylight when Diego was talking to Grace and now it’s pitch black out. What happened in those hours? +1

Talking about their regrets, Allison says “we can’t go back”. Insert every season 2 headcanon and the whole “Where are they?” tag line from the season 2 promos. +1

Allison attempts to see the silver lining of child abuse. This works and is a valid coping mechanism that I think is totally in character. Well done, writers. -1

The kiss on the cheek is very “this is the last time I will see my sibling whom I love very dearly and who also loves me for me”. This should have been it for Allison and Luther kissing because it’s a really good moment. -1

I love the dancing in the moonlight scene because it’s a reference to something from the comics. -1

The choreography is really, really good. Emma Portner fucking rules. -1

And I love the earrings that Allison is wearing. No joke, someone please tell me where I can find them, they’re adorable and I would love to have them. -1

However, the show made us see two sibling characters kiss. In a very romantic way. +15

And it’s very clear that this kiss happens outside of the fantasy too. +15

Also, without the lights and the music, were Allison and Luther just two weirdos dancing in the park to nothing? +1

The transition to get back to the Commission is really good. -1

“Gloria. The Handler knows that Five is up to something. Get this to Hazel and Cha Cha immediately.” Was the extra info about Five necessary? I feel like a regular person wouldn’t say that. +1

Gloria doesn’t know who the second best assassins are. +1

Five gets that stapler out of nowhere. This goes back to his unexplained power from episode 1, but now the question is: Is this switching power stapler based? +1

Five’s expression when he finally gets the name of the man who will cause the apocalypse. -1

And now we know the origin of the terminate Hazel message. Five, you clever bastard. -1

Did we see the terminate Cha Cha message before this? I can’t remember. If we didn’t then it’s a great reveal. If we did, then I didn’t care enough to pay attention. [I looked back] We didn’t. Great reveal. -1

Five, hide your bodies better so they don’t start waking up for comedic timing. +1

The comedic timing of Gloria waking back up. -1

“You’re a first rate pragmatist!” no he’s not. Have you been paying attention to Five’s character at all, Handler? If he was, then he never would have broken his contract because he was safe in the Commission.+1

Also, this is what a lot of fanfic writers base Five off of. Not his actual character, this fucking line. Sin for the fandom. +1

Why did they have to split up this scene? The Handler just attempted to shoot Five and now we’re supposed to care about Mom and Diego?? +1

Grace finally gets to tell the truth! Sin for Pogo and Reggie for forcing her to lie. +1

The truth. -1

The Commission desk people do care about Gloria. Caring. -1

Vanya finding Reggies book. This could have been the original trigger to the apocalypse in the first timeline. I want answers. How did it go down originally? +1

Dave! -1

“I do owe a debt. But it’s not to you.” This is one of those lines that will be referenced in a future season. “See, [this character and/or relationship] was referenced in season 1” or something like that. This is my favorite Five line, too. -2

Five once again stands too close to an explosion. Fuckin’ run, dude! +1

The ending of this episode reminds me of the “and it was all just a dream” ending that 5th graders write. Nothing in this episode has any consequences. +3

And I am adding back the sins I took off and then some for the important bits like Diego and Klaus bonding, Grace telling Diego all the secrets, and Klaus seeing Dave. +4

Wednesday. 8:15 A.M. (...again). The time stamp is pretty good though. -1

“What gives us a win this time?” And then Five appears. -1

Five snatches Allison’s coffee. And he should be bleeding from the shrapnel wound. +2

Allison’s face when Five snatches her coffee. -1

Diego, Luther, Klaus, and Allison are all watching Five stumble weird and chug Allison’s coffee with the funniest expressions. I want to know what they were thinking. Ya know, beyond “What the Fuck?”. +1

Those expressions, though. -1

“So if y’all don’t get your sideshow acts together” Five this whole season has been you saving the world and everyone else as a sideshow act. That’s gonna take a lot more effort than saving the world. +1

Aidan Gallagher fucking nails this scene. Expletive required. This is why I respect him as an actor. This scene would have been so easy to over act, but he kills this monologue.  -5

If you look closely at Five’s hair, it looks sort of like the triangular shape from the comics. I can’t tell if that was intentional, but it was a good detail. Hair department. -1

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins” followed by a coffee slurp. That is how they end the episode? Really? It would have been stronger without the coffee. +1

Season 2 comes out on July 31, 2020! I got the announcement just as I was finishing this episode! I’ll take off a sin because we finally know! Whoop!! -1

Overall review:

After the powerhouse that is episode 5, this episode feels odd and out of place. My favorite parts were the Commission parts, and everything else felt like an interruption. Even more so when you consider that the commission parts are the only parts of the episode that actually happened. Sure, it’s great character building, but without any consequences, it feels cheap. I feel like I’ve said everything I needed to say, so I won’t get crazy with the analysis. I would say more if anything in this episode actually mattered. 

Total: 112

Sentence: The Umbrella Academy of Reacting to things Slowly due to Stupidity. Say that 10 times fast. Then I will undo all your hard work through the power of time travel. Seriously, fuck this ending. 

Here’s how good STAR WARS fandom has been this last month: I still have half of Queen’s Shadow to read and yet fic still manages to pull me away and distract me with all these wonderful stories! Sometimes happy and sometimes heartbreaking and sometimes just really fascinating worldbuilding, the fandom has been pretty damn amazing this month and I would like to yell about all these feelings the Star Wars fic has given me with everyone. You know how, when you’ve read a good fic, and you get that sated, lazy, warm tingly in your brain feeling because everything is just so good? That was me about a dozen different times this last month, every time I would go on a fic-reading binge and I need to share that with everyone who will listen for at least five minutes. STAR WARS FIC RECS: TIME TRAVEL RECS: ✦ I thought I fought this war alone by stonefreeak, obi-wan & qui-gon & cast, time travel, 3.7k    Obi-Wan is thirteen years old, just about to start learning Ataru from his Master. Obi-Wan is sixty-one years old, dead and one with the Force since four years back. Obi-Wan is both, and neither. ✦ Grave Accents by primeideal, anakin & leia & mace, time travel, 1.5k    In retrospect, Mace decided, it had mostly been Qui-Gon’s fault. He was measured enough not to blame the master for the entire state of affairs; after all, it was not Qui-Gon but chance or the will of the Force that had brought young Leia to Jedha. ✦ The Road Is Made By Walking by the_rck, obi-wan/luke (maybe), time travel, 6.9k    Eventually, it occurred to Obi-Wan that figuring out Luke’s motives might be some sort of test. Simply understanding that it was a test would mean accepting that Luke was a teacher. ✦ Runaway by Fairleigh, luke & shmi, time travel, 1.2k    Shmi Skywalker befriends a boy who has run away from home. PREQUELS RECS: ✦ Master by CJinn, obi-wan & anakin, 27.5k    Obi-Wan Kenobi had always wanted to become a Jedi Knight. What he didn’t expect was to become a Master merely days after his own Master died. Adapting to his new role as the mentor and Master of the quite unusual Padawan Anakin Skywalker became a bumpy road. ✦ Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by stonefreeak, obi-wan & anakin & padme & palpatine & bail & cast, 6.8k wip    By an old Republic law, all members of the Jedi High Council are senators in the Galactic Senate, and can thus be voted in as chancellor. ✦ Am Bushed by SingManyFaces, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & rex, 1.6k    During the war, sometimes special tactics are required to make sure The Team gets the sleep it needs. ✦ A little idle talk of this and that by victoria_p (musesfool), obi-wan & iroh & aang & cast, 4k    On his way to Tatooine with Luke, Obi-Wan makes an unexpected stop for tea in Ba Sing Se. ✦ Ghosts of the Present by randomlyimagine, obi-wan & yoda & caleb & siri & plo & aayla & jedi & cast, 8.2k wip    Every single Jedi killed during Order 66 becomes a Force ghost, often before their bodies even hit the floor. ✦ The First Trial by Raven_Knight, obi-wan & qui-gon, 2k    Accompanied by his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, young Obi-Wan Kenobi undergoes his first trial and rite as a Padawan Learner on the frozen planet of Ilum. ✦ adust by TheFreakWithTheWings, obi-wan & anakin, ~1k    adust: scorched, burned; Obi-Wan had never liked to think of himself as cruel. Practical, yes. Ruthless, sometimes. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, anakin & ahsoka & yoda & cast, 2.7k    Returning to the Temple seems almost unreal. Despite everything going on in the galaxy, the Temple has always been a point of calm, the eye of the storm. But now when Anakin walks these familiar halls again—his second home, the one not build of sand and stone in the hottest of deserts, and not the one in an upper Coruscant apartment that smells of perfume—it seems as if the very air of it has changed. ✦ Arrival by CJinn, obi-wan & yoda & cast, 2.6k    Little Obi-Wan was only a few days old when he was brought to the Jedi Temple. His arrival caused some confusion among the Jedi. ✦ Trembling Brightness by Pandora151, obi-wan & ahsoka & cast, 2.3k    “I watched you die—twice. And I just can’t go through that again.” ✦ What Should Be by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude, mace & depa, 1.2k    Depa expresses concern about the effect this war is having on her padawan. ✦ The Song in the Soil by Ria Talla (ronia), aayla & quinlan, 3.1k    He had asked her to stay below in the ship, so she wouldn’t know where they were going, and then to wrap the cloth over her eyes before she could get a glimpse of where they’d landed. He always asked. And Aayla never turned down a challenge. ✦ The Lawful by Raven_Knight, obi-wan/satine & bo-katan & cast, NSFW, 4.2k    With the help of Bo-Katan, certain things go a little differently after Obi-Wan Kenobi arrives to rescue Satine from Darth Maul’s clutches. ✦ Don’t Bring a Blaster to a Lightsaber Fight by FireflyFish, obi-wan & anakin & luke & han & rey & dooku & maul & palpatine, 2.9k    a.k.a A Weekly Meetup for Local Force Users OBI-WAN/ANAKIN RECS: ✦ Wish upon a star by Paper_cut, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 4.3k    Obi-Wan buys a lamp, gets much more than just a genie. ✦ Ashes of the Republic by mewgirl1995, obi-wan/anakin & obi-wan/padme (& some anakin/padme) & luke & leia & ahsoka & cast, nsfw, 96.7k    In the chaos of the fall of the Republic, the Jedi Temple is destroyed, hiding all evidence of what happened there. In order to protect the Chosen One’s children, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padmé Amidala flee into hiding, hoping that they can find Anakin again. Meanwhile, Vader searches for those that he hopes will still be loyal to him and the new Emperor. ✦ The Missing Part by Nightstar269, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka, modern au, 36.8k wip    Anakin Skywalker, a student of mechanical engineering, has always felt that his life was lacking something, a feeling that was made much worse with the deaths of his mother first, and of the woman he loved some time later. Still haunted by the pain and heartbreak, he tries to go on with his life as well as he can. When an initiative of the director of the university has the students attending the classes of another degree so as to enrich their knowledge, he will meet someone that will turn his world upside down. ✦ The Devil’s Own by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & cast, regency au, 11.1k wip    Some whisper the Skywalker family is the devil’s own, and no tutors in the area will take on the orphaned Lord, a young man famous for his excessive drinking, riding, and dueling. The townspeople shake their heads at the arrival of the latest tutor, a London scholar out of money and other options, wondering how long it will be before this Kenobi is run out like all the rest. ✦ Sear me pale sun by liv_k, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, bittersweet themes, 9.8k    “So here we are, a failed Jedi, a Sith, and our imminent deaths. I leave it to you to choose how we will meet our demise, whether fighting or doing something else entirely.” ✦ Bedroom Hymns by orphan_account, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, spanking, bondage, bdsm, d/s, 26.6k wip    Anakin Skywalker is a young student with some kinky interests, and his search for a Dom leads him to Obi-Wan, a former professional. Obi-Wan has retired, but their purely professional kinky relationship changes the lives of both men. How long can they keep it professional? And what happens when they start falling for each other? ✦ Across the Darkness by xpityx, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & rex & cast, 16.2k wip    Obi-Wan knew they had hit the temple’s inner security measures when Anakin went from calm to clutching both Obi-Wan and his lightsaber between one step and the next. ✦ Miasma by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & rex & cody & fives & kix & cast, dark themes, 15.2k wip    Obi-Wan never believed his best friend and lover Anakin would die first. But he has. ✦ Physical Examination of a Submissive by orphan_account, obi-wana/anakin/padme, NSFW, medical kink, d/s, 2.7k    Anakin’s partners want to make sure he’s nice and healthy. ✦ What An Expensive Fate by FromDreamstoEmpires, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW sith!obi-wan, 1.3k    Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow at him, “But you like it when I tell you what to do.” He said softly, hand pulling on his curls until Anakin was forced to look at him, “Don’t you, sweetheart?” ✦ Shaak Herding for the Troubled and Lonely by protos_metazu_ison (larkspyt), obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka, 22.4k wip    Disgraced Master Obi-Wan Kenobi was content to live out the rest of his life as a hermit until the Prime Minister appeared at his door, begging him to attend the Skywalker clan’s annual party. While reluctant to re-enter society, Obi-Wan’s always wanted to meet Anakin Skywalker, the most powerful Force-user in the galaxy. ✦ Things we never said by Gondolin, obi-wan/anakin, ~1k    “Stop lecturing me for ten seconds and think of yourself! I swear you plan to die still lecturing me. Well, you might as well give up now and rest, because I care, I care, I care! And it doesn’t matter how bad a Jedi this makes me.” ✦ To have and to hold by Gondolin, obi-wan/anakin, 1.5k    “Obi-Wan…” he whispers, focusing on that Force signature that shines like a beacon in the endless night of deep space. ✦ baby, put on heart-shaped sunglasses by destiny919, obi-wan/anakin & palpatine, 1.2k    Palpatine: I’d like to talk to Anakin. Obi-Wan, feeding Anakin bon bons while they lay on a plush chaise lounge: Tragic ✦ Soul by Gondolin, obi-wan/anakin, soulmate au, ~1k    Obi-Wan took a deep breath. He should trust the other Knight. He could trust him. He wasn’t a misbehaving child. “Is there a legitimate reason why you won’t accept my help?” ORIGINAL TRILOGY RECS: ✦ No Snowmen on Tatooine by HiNerdsItsCat (HiLarpItsCat), obi-wan & anakin & luke & han & chewbacca, 2.6k    Luke Skywalker spent his entire childhood on a desert planet. He might be a hero of the Rebellion and strong in the Force, but he isn’t handling the freezing temperatures on Hoth well at all. Thirty years earlier, Anakin Skywalker is in the exact same location… and having the exact same problem. REBELS RECS: ✦ Chess Across the Galaxy by ambiguously, hera & thrawn, 2.7k    Thrawn has his favorite opponent in his custody at last, and he has an offer for her. ✦ The Sea Has Ten Thousand Names by ambiguously, kallus/zeb, 2.6k    Living on a new planet is hard when you don’t know the language. SEQUELS RECS: ✦ we are here and it is now by victoria_p (musesfool), anakin & rey & luke, 3.5k    “So either you’re not here or you’re not living,” she says. “I’m definitely here,” he replies, and there’s amusement in his voice. ✦ find your way (back) by glorious_clio, rose & paige, 2.1k    Paige and Rose are separated by five years and not much else. As a unit, they navigate the rise of the First Order on Hays Minor, and their eventual evacuation and separation from their beloved parents. But they trust in each other and in the future. ✦ Flyboys by ambiguously, poe/jacen, nsfw, 18k    Poe Dameron goes to the Academy, learns to fly, and falls in love a lot. As you do. ✦ That’s Not How the Force Works by imaginary_golux, anakin & han & ben, ~1k    Han wakes up as a Force ghost, and decides to go and have a few words with his son. FULL DETAILS + RECS HERE!

The war has ended, and the clones are deserting while the Order turns a blind eye. The 212th leaves, and Obi-Wan prepares to adjust to life without Cody. However, Anakin comes to convince him otherwise. 

@finish-the-clone-wars For the prompt “A Teaching Moment”!

It’s kinda a role reversal. Now Anakin is trying to help Obi-Wan :D 

“The remainder of the 212th left this morning,” Anakin announced, as he walked into Obi-Wan’s quarters, “Cody’s gone too.”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan muttered silently, shifting just slightly in his cross legged position, “I’m happy for him.”

Anakin nodded, crossing the threshold from the door and deeper into the room, “By the time the month is over, all of the clones will be gone. Not sure where they’re going, but at least they’ll be free.”

And that was part of the deal, if it could even be called one. For the Clone’s service in the army, the Order would turn a blind eye to them as they escaped, even going as far as helping them if it meant getting the Republic off of their backs. Senator Amidala’s bill to end clone production had eventually evolved into talk of exterminating the Clones.

Since then, the Order had worked tirelessly to get them passage out of the Republic, though the clones had collectively decided not to tell their Jedi where they were going. It was honestly for the best. The clones had belonged to the Jedi for the entire world, and if the Jedi knew where they were going, it paved way for a similar situation in the future.

Nevertheless, Anakin knew that there were a few exceptions to that rule. Plo being one of them, and Obi-Wan being the obvious second.

“He came in here, didn’t he?” Anakin settled himself atop of his Masters bed, and turned towards the Jedi, “Rex told me he tried to get you to go with him. You said no. Why.”

Leave it to Anakin to cut straight to the point, Obi-wan thought to himself, bitterly.

“I have a duty to the Order, Anakin. Something you should understand now that you’re a Master.”

Anakin crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow at his teacher, “You? A duty to the Order? You can fool everyone else Obi-Wan, but not me. I know how you’re feeling now, and trust me, staying in the Order isn’t going to fix anything.”  

“I don’t need you to lecture me about the Jedi code, Anakin. I was your teacher at a point.”

“And i’m not forgetting that, Obi-Wan. I’m just trying to return the favor.”

“And how exactly are you doing that, Anakin? By trying to throw me off of my path? Just because your relationship with Padme fell apart doesn’t mean you have to try to save mine. I’ve made my choice, just as you have.”

Anakin shrugged, the jab not taking its intended effect. Since the end of the war, Anakin seemed to take things easier than he had in the past. Without Palpatine drawing him to the Dark Side, he was a new person with a clearer head. In all honesty, Obi-Wan was proud of what his student had become. Nevertheless, he didn’t enjoy being lecture like he was a youngling.

“But I had years to think about my choice without having the role of Master thrust on me when I wasn’t ready,” Anakin continued, “You grew up too fast in the Order, Master. You were never happy, even Master Yoda could see that! But when Commander Cody was assigned to you, while...you were different. It wasn’t like me and Padme, you two were genuinely happy. And now you feel like you do when Qui-Gon died.”

Obi-Wan sighed. He hated to admit it, but Anakin was right. He wasn’t happy in the Order. He’d never been. It had always been an uphill battle, one victory always leading to more devastation. He wasn’t like Anakin, who faced the danger with open arms. Obi-Wan could only do that for so long, and by the time Cody had come into his life, he was almost through with it.  But the Clone Commander gave him something to live for, and his presence had made Obi-Wan genuinely happy.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been that happy.

At that point, it wasn’t even a question. He’d die if he remained in the Order.

“And what will you do when I leave? You’ll be lost without me.”

“Trust me, with being the Grand Master and everything, I’ll be busy.” Anakin said, a smile creeping on his face, “Now hurry, we gotta go now. Cody already transferred coordinates to me, and we’ll have to leave in ten minute if we want to make the rendezvous.”

Obi-Wan snorted in disbelief, “You already had this planned out, didn’t you? Let me guess, Cody sent you to convince me.”

“That’s Commander Cody for you,” Anakin chuckled, tossing Obi-Wan his spare robes, “Besides, you would've tried to find him yourself, and  don’t know if you’d survive with your piloting skills.”

The clones and TV.

·         Echo; Straight up nature documentaries. He could binge watch Planet Earth and Blue planet. They are staples. If a new documentary gets added to Netflix he’s all over that! He loves learning new things and this combines his three favourite things. Nature, Ice cream and Pjs. He gets to watch all the shit he wants from the comfort of his own bed. He lives for it. His eyes go really wide when watching them and he smiles. Don’t turn it off, he’ll look really sad then get sarcy. Just leave him be.

·         Kix; Kix is definitely into medical programs. When he’s in a bad mood he’ll watch Scrubs to cheer him up and so he can have a laugh. When he’s feeling happier he’ll watch Grey’s anatomy. Totally claims that it’s him doing “research” he likes House even though it’s a little inaccurate at times. He will point out what everyone is doing wrong. “No like you wouldn’t apply bacta to that” he acts like a king when he gets stuff right and predicts the diagnosis. Annoys everyone.

·         Fives; He watches reality programs straight up either normal or trashy. He lives for drama. Like the real housewives of Naboo or some shit. Drama that doesn’t involve him and he doesn’t get a back lash from he’s totally down with. He watches the audition stages to talent shows. He just wants to watch the weird, the wonderful and the downright bad. After that he doesn’t care. Except that one year they had a dancing dog on and it won. He liked that dog. He defied the odds. He’s a lil drunk when he watches some of this stuff, he was once drunk at 3 in the morning watching “Don’t tell the bride” and crying both in laughter and for the poor woman that got married at Thorpe park.

·         Cody; He’s worse than Fives for trashy reality shows. He is just trash. When it’s just him watching TV, he stops being so sophisticated. He watches Come Dine with me in the hopes something goes wrong and/or they have an argument. He gets Obi wan in on the action, like Say yes to the dress, they release their inner sass and dry wit. They don’t know why they do it, they just find each other’s remarks funny. They’re not mean they’re just honest. To be honest they laugh so loudly when they watch something like Hell’s Kitchen and everything goes wrong. Like when Ramsay starts shouting they joke it’s like “Anakin when’s he’s angry because something went slightly wrong” they get inside jokes from watching TV and irritates the hell out of everyone. Like they’ll say something like “Crawfish” from when he raged for five minutes about it being under-cooked when Anakin is acting a bit pissy. They’ll both laugh because they have to be serious and it irritates and confuses everyone.

·         Rex; He watches crime programs. He loves them. He always says he’s going to work out who/why and how. He sometimes gets it bang on and sometimes gets it so wrong. Sometimes he has to use the Holonet to find out. He’d definitely be into Peaky Blinders. When he needs cheering up he’ll watch Brooklyn 99. Because he can see his brothers in most of the Characters. Peralta is definitely a mix of Fives and Hardcase, Wolffe is Diaz, Echo is Amy and Cody is Holt. Rex is definitely a Terry. He’d also love NCSI. They definitely help him unwind. Everyone else finds them a little boring.

·         Wolffe; He watches supernatural dramas. Like he’s really into True Blood or something like the Vampire Diaries. He’s into soap operas as well. He will never tell anyone this. 90% of the 104th know that he loves soaps. He can be heard grumbling stuff like “I can’t believe (insert female soap name) ended up with (insert male soap name)” Nearly shouting is a better description. When asked he says he was watching sport. It’s all lies. He gives the glare to anyone who dares question his sport watching. He definitely watches Sex and the City, a Trooper once said he was such a Charlotte, he pretended he didn’t know what they were on about before giving him an hour-long lecture about why he’s a mix of Charlotte and Miranda.

·         Hardcase; You could literally play that video of the seal spinning around for ten hours and he’d watch it, he cannot sit still for ten minutes but he could watch that seal spin around happily for ten hours. It is legit his mind most of the time. On a serious note, he loves Parks and Rec. It’s like 7 seasons long but he’s seen them all. He loves comedy programs. He’d also like the IT crowd or something like the Mighty Boosh, just something weird and funny. It keeps him entertained for hours. Just going through all the comedy series on Netflix.

·         Tup; Tup would be into drama/horror drama. He loves American Horror story and denies being into Supernatural but he’s totally into both. He loves watching a good series on Netflix, something like Limitless. He loves watching all the Netflix originals. He’s seen them all. From Riverdale to Stranger things. He also loves watching Sherlock. He ends up giving suggestions to everyone. He is the master of all spoilers.

85 Questions

Thank you so much for tagging me @lizziethereader I am tagging @flamingmirrorbookish @i-breathe-therefore-i-read @thehana7991 @charlene-xo and @the-lovely-evil

the last 1. drink: Mango Ice tea

2. phone call: An owner calling up for an update on their puppy that was in our ICU.

3. text message: My friend who is also a vet asking if we could push a procedure we’re doing on one of my horses to the following day.

4. song you listened to:  Liam What’s-his-face’s Strip That Down.

5. time you cried: Last night for a stray cat we had to euthanise because he was suffering from multiple painful and fatal-ish issues.

6. dated someone twice: An ex. Dated as teenagers, then that decided to have at it again in my twenties for another year or two; because I’m that stupid ;)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yes, the last guy I dated; if I hadn’t kissed him I would never have dated him.

8. been cheated on: Yep, an asshole I was dating for about 7 years.

9. lost someone special: Yes, multiple four legged members of my family, the most recent being Cody - three years ago, and then in January this year, I lost Willa and she really broke me when she died and I don’t think I will ever recover from losing her.

10. been depressed: Current state since three years ago when Cody died. And I had finally crawled out of that only to then have Willa die, and I won’t recover from her.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: So long ago I can’t even remember, it was more than ten years ago.

3 favourite colours 12. Mauve-ish-purpley-lavender colour 13. pink 14: coffee

in the last year have you 15. made new friends: yes, people at work

16. fallen out of love: wasn’t in it to begin with, well I love the four legged members of my family and that will never change.

17. laughed until you cried: probably one night at work when we’d gotten tired and things started getting a little silly.

18. found out someone was talking about you: Can’t really remember when, but I do not doubt that it’s happened.

19. met someone who changed you: Not in the last year, but 6 and half years ago I met an online friend IRL and she was saying how she had recently gone vegan after watching Earthlings, after meeting her I watched it too and went vegan instantly.  

20. found out who your friends are: Yep, friend at uni, the minute she got her BF her thousand calls and text to me each day dropped down to nothing.

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: No!

General: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99% of them, just a couple I met on tumblr or online.

23. do you have any pets: Two dogs, two cats and two horses. Although I don’t like the term pets, I think of them as members of my family.

24. do you want to change your name: Too old to care about that anymore, but when I was younger ye I definitely wanted to change it.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I had to present a paper at a literary conference.  

26. what time did you wake up: 10:30, I worked an afternoon shift last night and didn’t get home till 3am.

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I was cleaning the entire hospital in Virkon because some trailer trash arseholes didn’t vaccinate their dog and it ended up that he had parvo and before we knew he was parvo + it was too late and he was in one of our consult rooms and vets and nurses had been in and out of their multiple times.

28. name something you can’t wait for: For my horses diarrhoea to be over.

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Ten minutes ago.

30 has vanished? ? 

31. what are you listening to right now: Nothing, I’m watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yes, one of my tutor students was a Tom.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: Humankind and their bastardisation of the earth and the other sentient beings who inhabit it.

34. most visited website: It would have to be tie between, tumblr, FB and my emails

35. hair colour: Dark brown

36. long or short hair: Long, almost to the small of my back.

37. do you have a crush on someone: Only on my fictional BFs such as Dameon Black from Jennifer L Armentrout’s Lux series or Damon Salvatore from TVD tv series.  

38. what do you like about yourself: My compassion and empathy for animals.

39. piercings: My ears and belly button.

40. blood type: No idea.

41. nickname: Nope, not telling that one ;)

42. relationship status: Single

43. zodiac: Cancer

44. pronouns: She/Her

45. favourite tv show: Te Vampire Diaries.

46. tattoos: On the inside of my left wrist, the names of my two dogs who have died with.

47. right or left handed: Right

48. surgery: Nope

50. favorite sport: In my new found misanthropic attitude I’m kind over all that sort of stuff.

51. favorite vacation: The study trip I had in my last year of my BA we went to Scandinavia, I want to go back there, despite the fact that I hate the cold.

52. favorite pair of trainers: Trainers aren’t really the sort of thing I would have a favourite of, I buy new ones ever 6-12 months, depending on how much running I’ve been doing, and that all I really use them for, is running.

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: pretty much live on junk food, can’t remember the last time I ate an actual meal.

54. drinking: I don’t really drink much anymore, too lazy to deal with hangovers ;)

55. I’m about to: start reading The Light We Lost.

56. waiting for: more books to turn up, of course!

57. want: chocolate.

58. get married: Hell no!

59. career: ICU/Emergency veterinary nurse and some time during my PhD I wouldn’t mind getting into some sessional tutoring/lecturing for literature or creative writing.

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: Depends, hugs rule hands down if we are talking about my dogs, but kissing someone who is a great kisser is pretty awesome.

61. lips or eyes: Eyes

62. shorter or taller: Taller

63. older or younger: Too vague to answer

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach 

65. hookup or relationship: I don’t do either now days, but if I had to choose it would be hookup,

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker.

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: Yes

68. drank hard liquor: Yep

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope

70. turned someone down: Yes.

71. sex on the first date: No.

73. had your heart broken: Yes, when Cody and Willa died.

74. been arrested: No

75. cried when someone died: Yes.

76. fallen for a friend: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

77. yourself: Eh.

78. miracles: No

79. love at first sight: No. Unless we’re talking animals and then yes I do believe in it, I love every animal I meet at first sight ;)  

80. santa claus: No, but I do love watching NORAD tracks Santa each Christmas eve.

81. kiss on the first date: Yeah why not.

82. angels: NO, only because that implies there is a god or religion or crap. But I like them in my YA books J

OTHER:

84. eye colour: Brown 85. favourite movie: That’s sooo hard to choose just one. Me Before You at the moment.