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chrollohearttags · 9 months

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bake it

reiner can’t get enough of you or your sweet treats. Regardless of what anyone thinks.

themes: food play, reiner and reader both being nasty af, (and both have super country accents), lots of old southern colloquialisms, food play, oral (m. receiving), spit play, pet names (sugar, poundcake, daddy, pumpkin, sweet girl), spanking, backshots, squirting

📝: this may or may not be a lil series based off my fav album at the moment. I think it fits the cowboy!reiner x reader headcanon very well.

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“Chile, did you hear about what (y/n) did down at the Hole this weekend?”

“Girl yes. Being fast and actin’ all loose. Hanging over every man that’ll look her way.” “I’m tellin’ ya, honey. She ain’t nothing like her mama or her cousins. Girl’s a handful, I tell ya. Never seen a thang’ like it.”

“She was with that Braun boy from what I heard. Lord knows what she was doing..”

rumblings and rumors had spread like wildfire among about what took place at the infamous hang out spot and saloon in the small town in which you’d grown up. It seemed that not much had changed from the time you were a tiny child from now being a grown woman, returning to your stomping grounds after a couple years of higher education. Pearl clutching church ladies and snobby debutants with their noses in the air, disapproving of any woman who hadn’t settled down and popped out ten kids before the age of twenty five. It was how the customary traditions went in the south and sadly, wasn’t going to change any time soon. However…

“Yes and did you hear that I had him calling to the good lord after I fucked him seven ways to Sunday? He was a lot of fun. Boy’s got a third leg and a tongue like a serpent. Might have to keep him around.”

the very bold proclamation of your supposed actions had your coworkers of the Sweetie Pie Bakery; owned by the ladies in your family and had been a staple in the city for ten years, gasping and glaring at you disgust. The ones working there currently were a few new hires from the local church. The types to be sleeping with other people’s husbands by Saturday and running in and out of the pew on Sunday. Blatant hypocrites. Hence why you so casually admitted to your affairs and boasted about them. You didn’t give a damn what those uppity bitches thought of you! Especially when the man in question was all but obsessed with you…sneaking away at any opportune moment to have you since the first night you gave him a taste of your proverbial sweetness. Slurping you up, tonguing you down and pounding that little pussy sideways..letting him have a slice of you anyway he liked. It was no secret to anyone that you weren’t some innocent saint but if it’s gossip they wanted, you’d give those mouth breathing heifers something to bump their gums about. They’d feel how they want to about you regardless so it didn’t matter. Might as well have a little fun..

“Now if you ladies will excuse me, I have a delivery to make.”

“In that outfit?!” Referring to the very short, denim miniskirt wrapping your thick backside and halter top hoisting your ample breasts.“It’s ninety two degrees outside besides, a wretched jezebel like me has to look the part, right?” Mocking them with an overly done accent and a fake smile before waving and turning on the heels of your boots.

and where you were headed, you wouldn’t have it on long anyways..not once he spotted you…

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

halfway across the tracks was a small office residing on the outskirts of town, right before you’d reach the dozen mile long stretch of fields and farmland. The moniker atop the building read ‘Braun Farms, Inc.’ owned and operated by the prominent family for several years and generations. Providing fresh vegetables, poultry, cattle and everything else to many local diners and families. The hardest working man in the entire company may have been the next line to take it over, Reiner Braun. A young, handsome, determined guy who was always about his business before any sort of pleasures. Of course, that all changed when his new fling came around..a girl by the name of (y/n) (l/n) who had a grip on him in more ways than one. After some whisperings, he discovered that you too had grown up in this area but was carted off to school elsewhere in your adolescence. You at sone private Christian academy and him homeschooled, hence why your paths never crossed. But that was a thing of the past and so was hiding the promiscuity you both harbored.

“Damn, poundcake. You keep suckin’ on me like that and I might hafta’ give you my credit card and last name.”

the words escaping in a guttural groan from Reiner’s half parted lips. His chest was heaving, so much so, it looked as if it were about to pop from his chest. Going mad with pure unadulterated lust as you licked on his shaft from underneath the desk. He had been assigned to records keeping today so you decided to pay him a little visit on his lunch break. And what was a better meal than your delicious cupcake and the chance to eat his dick up?

“Don’t say that too loud, pumpkin. Someone might get the wrong idea about me..think I’m trying to take ya’ money.”

“To hell with them. Only thing I want right now is to fuck that pretty lil’ throat.”

and he did just that. Bobbing your head up and down with a spread palm resting atop your freshly done lace front; feeding you every inch feasible of that long, erect cock. Gliding it to the back of your mouth until it damn near reached your esophagus and drummed up strings of spit. Loud gurgling noises filled the room and Reiner nearly lost his shit. Clawing at the arms of the chair and cursing like a sailor. You had this man doing and behaving in ways unbecoming of his character but he could give a damn less. As long as you kept letting him use you like this. Sticking your tongue out, you’d smile and request that he spit into your mouth..adding to the pre existing strings saliva and cum covering your face. It didn’t help matters any when you decided to take some of that frosting and place it on his sensitive tip before slurping it off. “W-whatever you want, sugar. I’ll give you whatever you want just keep —oh shit!” Earning yourself another warm load of his nut all over your exposed tits and pretty face. “You taste so good..” Those deviant eyes and sultry voice luring him in. By now, you had to be dripping so he’d tug you out from under there and place you at the edge of the desk before saddling up behind you with that hard dick. Hoisting that mini skirt to your waist, letting it bunch up around that soft, pudgy tummy, he was pleased to find that you wearing no panties but was wetter than the lake he frequented.

“Want you to fuck this pussy so good…stretch it out f’r me, Rei…” begging with your decorated nails placed on your round cheeks as you pulled them apart to reveal that puckering hole and soaking entrance…making him hungry for both. Wasting no time, he’d grab a handful of that thin top and your waist to reign you in. With his teeth grimaced, he’d whisper in your ear with growls; feeding you heavy handed smacks to your ass in the process. Spanking you like a bad kid but doing so because you enjoyed every second. “That’s what you want, sugar? For me to fuck ya’ like a lil’ slut? Make you come all over this dick? That right, baby?” To which you’d nod profusely, never craving something so badly before in your life. Of course, he was happy to oblige..but you’d have to beg a bit, just because that sexy voice turned him on so bad. “Yes, daddy. Need you to fill my shit up too..nut all in this pussy. I ain’t come all this way for nothin.” And of course, that all but sold him. So with your inviting heat waiting for him and those Wranglers ruffled around his waist, Reiner pulled you in close before impaling you on his cock.

“Damn right, baby..so take all this dick.” Pressing a thumb to your tight little asshole as he pumped you full..one long, deep stroke after the next, coaxing out sticky cream and soft cries as you scratched at the wooden surface he had you planked across. Sliding in and out of that warmth like a perfectly fitting puzzle piece. The tight clutch you put around his shaft had him mesmerized. It didn’t help your case any when you constantly doted and bragged on how good he fucked you. “I swear you’re the only one who can get this pussy wet like this..” “..right there, daddy. You in my fucking spot..gonna make me come.” Of course, Reiner was loving every bit and only wanted to please his lady so as that big ass bounced against his pelvis and rippled like waves, he’d give you more slaps and try to maintain his pace. Even going as far as to make that tip kiss the inner corner of your cervix.“Give it to me then…nut f’r me, sweet girl. Let it all go.” And the second you did, juices flooded the floor as you squirted all over him. “Shitttt! That’s what I’m talking about, pretty girl. Make a mess of me..” grinning from ear to ear before housing his own seed inside of you. That pulsating cock still inside of you minutes later. Turning you around, he’d mark your lips with a sloppy kiss and look down at the aftermath.

“I swear, I ain’t never gonna be able to quit you, sugar. Just too damn sweet..”

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shares-a-vest · 11 months

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Eddie rushes down the narrow hall of the trailer, his cereal bowl still in hand as he chuckles away at whoever has awakened a grumpy Steve from his beauty rest by pounding on the door at 7am.

He opens the front door to find an equally frustrated Dustin Henderson, all prim and proper, dressed ready for school. Dustin practically shoves a large cooler bag into Eddie's hand, giving him a split second to hold his cereal bowl at arm's length so as not to spill it.

"What's this?" he asks, frowning.

He attempts to peer into the bag but can only see the tops of at least two plastic containers at the angle his full hands have forced him into.

"Lasagna," Dustin informs - though it's more like a droning deadpan.

"Goody," he beams, bopping up and down on the spot as his young friend rolls his eyes.

"Dusty!" Claudia chides from the car. She spots Eddie looking directly at her and switches to a motherly smile, "Oh, hi Eddie, darling."

He waves, "Thanks, Claudia."

"Come on, Dusty, we have to get over to Steve's or I'll be late for work."

"Okay!" Dustin calls over his shoulder a little too sweetly. He narrows his eyes as he conjures up his most threatening tone, "You know who doesn't get any lasagna because of you assholes and your cartoon cat-like appetites?"

Eddie grins, "Stevie isn't home, Dustybun!"

"Eddie!" he stomps his foot.

He cackles in the face of the kid's annoyance. And maybe also because Steve is literally here in the back room, likely still grumbling away with his cute-as-hell bed hair as he tries to go back to sleep.

Dustin turns back to his mother, "Mom! Eddie said Steve isn't home."

"He isn't?" she asks so innocently, Eddie's heart swells. Bless this woman, "Well where - oh," Eddie can see her clutching her proverbial peals, "Well, never mind. I'll just keep it in the fridge at work for the day."

He smirks for a moment before he turns his attention back to Dustin, who looks like he is trying to telepathically channel El's superpowers so he can smoke him to smithereens.

Eddie blinks and feigns interest, "Oh, I'm sorry, who doesn't get any of Claudia's mouth-wateringly delicious lasagna?"

He rocks back and forward on the balls of his feet as he bats his lashes waiting for a, surely deafening, response.

"Me!" Dustin screeches, "Mom is so busy making you guys food all the time that now when she makes lasagna, saying, 'Oh, this is for the boys' that doesn't include me - her son!"

"Well you'd better learn how to cook some for your hungry wittle self," he teases. If his hands were free, Eddie would lean forward and give Dustin a condescending pat on the belly. But alas, he has to settle for wiggling his fingers through the bag's straps as he smiles, "Toodles, Dusty."

He only just catches Dustin's gaping stare for a split second before he closes the door on him completely like he's poor Kay Corleone. He cackles away as he heads for the kitchen. Steve, though hard of hearing - especially when he's all bleary-eyed and half awake - must have heard at least some of it because he calls out a smile-filled, "Eddie?".

"Coming, pretty boy!" he calls down the hall.

He sets his bowl down on the bench and makes quick work of dividing four servings of lasagna between the fridge and freezer, both spaces crowded thanks to Claudia's cooking.

"Guess what we are having for dinner..." he coos as he makes a beeline straight for Steve once he heads back to the bedroom.

Meaning, he jumps on the bed and tickles his boyfriend silly.

"Whaaaaat?" Steve whines as he attempts to duck under the blankets before settling shoving a pillow over his head.

"Lasagna!" Eddie shouts to the heavens, fist-pumping while he's at it.

Steve slides the pillow off his face and stares at the ceiling with absolute dread.

"Oh no, not her lasagna!" he dry-sobs, clutching the pillow to his chest.

Eddie drops his hands in his lap, offended.

"You don't like Claudia's lasagna?" he recoils, clutching his own nonexistent pearls.

Steve shakes his head, looking both worried and apologetic as he admits, "It's just too much food, man. Like, it's a kind gesture. And I love Claudia and all but, it's only me at home. And the servings are huge!"

"Oh, please!" he scoffs, "You practically inhale food."

"Not that much!"

Eddie flops back onto the mattress, narrowly missing Steve who is totally crowding the single bed. He places his hands over his own belly, rubbing at it as he hums contentedly.

Steve props himself up on his elbow and slowly quirks his brow as he looks Eddie over with a worrying level of amusement. He watches as Steve's eyes flit to the Garfield plushie sitting at the foot of the bed - a gift he had forced his boyfriend to buy him in commemoration of their first weekend away together in Indy a few months back.

Steve pinches his nose and mutters, "Jesus Christ."

"What?" Eddie asks, genuinely curious.

Wait.

"I'm dating Garfield!" Steve exclaims before falling face-first onto him in a fit of giggles.

#this is so silly #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #steddie #claudia henderson #steddie ficlet #lilys ficlets #i also found out garfield canonically lives in indiana - just thought y'all should know ;)#claudia henderson 🐈

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cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme · 1 day

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RWBY Request: Yang and Nora find out that during a night of sex, they accidentally chipped their M!S/O's hip a little.

Your wish is my command!

She feels both extremely bad and quite proud of herself.

On the one hand, your hip and pelvis were a tad… broken.

On the other hand, she rode you so hard that she was the one who broke it.

That was something to be proud of for her.

Also, the fact you said that it was totally worth it made her feel a bit better.

All of that said, the best part for both of you was the reaction Weiss had.

The poor girl nearly self combusted when she stopped by to drop off a get well soon gift.

She was floundering like a fish out of water trying to dance around how you got injured.

Then Yang swooped in with “Breaking someone’s hip by banging, that’s one less on the bucket list.”

This left Weiss clutching at her proverbial pearls and her calling the both of you “Degenerates” as she left the room and slamming the door.

It was hilarious.

Absolutely mortified about the fact she hurt you.

Not so much how she hurt you.

Even if your pelvis was practically shattered and your hips weren't much better.

Her sex life was the business of only you and her.

Though, you saying that it was entirely worth it helped her feel a ton better.

It also made her turn redder than Pyrrha’s hair.

Nora can and will make you pay for that.

So you better be sure to ask the doc’s if there is any… ah… reinforcement you can get.

Otherwise, they will be getting very sick of seeing the two of you very, very quickly.

Nora will also not be letting up on how hard she goes when you get better so you may just need it if you want to survive her.

#rwby #rwby x reader #yang xiao long x reader #yang x reader #yang xiao long #nora valkyrie #nora valkyrie x reader

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 1 month

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Part 22

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 21 🟣 Part 23

A reverse harem vampire AU ft. Mikey, Marshall, August and Sherlock

Series summary: Somehow, you've managed to live with your boyfriend and his roommates for months before finding out they're vampires, but the real shock first comes when they find out you have a special quality. A quality the guys would love to make use of...

Warnings: Fluff, ongoing vampire shenanigans, abusive parents, drama, angst, more drama.

Word count: 2.3k

A/N: Alright so actually I'd completely forgotten that I had this finished, and I found it today, so... enjoy!

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @summersong69 @ellethespaceunicorn @mis-lil-red @sillyrabbit81 @livisss @itsrubberbisquit @ktficworld @proud-aroace-beastie

Three weeks later you had all but forgotten about Katie’s threats, and you were getting ready to spend a day in with your four favorite guys, gathering snacks, drinks and blankets for a cozy movie-marathon — something you felt you very much deserved because not even August had been able to ward you of all the discomfort of having that IUD put in.

Your plans were disrupted by the doorbell. Sherlock opened the door, and though you couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, you recognized that voice immediately.

“May I inquire what this is about?” Sherlock asked politely, not immediately ready to let the strangers inside.

“We were informed that our daughter is living here, and that we should go see her.” You’d recognize your mother’s distinctive accent anywhere. It cut through all other sounds — and not in a good way… Sherlock turned to look at you, and you nodded as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat.

“Darlin’!” your mom pulled you into a hug, and after that your dad did the same, only in a much more possessive way. Your mother looked around the room, at the table full of snacks, the nest on the couch and the four guys in the living room. “Are these friends of yours?”

“These are, eh… my roommates,” you stammered, surprised you had even managed to choke out a single word of that sentence. This was not going to end well.

“You’ve been living with four men?” Your father looked as though his face was about to explode. You could have seen that coming. You should have seen that coming. Just like you could have predicted your mom’s gasping and proverbial pearl-clutching. What were they even doing he—Katie! That bitch.

“Yes, mom,” you said, your voice betraying you. They were never going to approve of this arrangement, never mind the other arrangement you had with the guys. Maybe there was a chance you wouldn’t have to tell them about that.

Of course, they weren’t just going to leave — especially not after such a long drive — so August made everyone coffee while trying to keep you as calm as possible. Mike tried a few times to get closer to you, but you shook your head. Having four guys as roommates was strike one. A boyfriend would be strike two, and possibly also three. Learning that any of them was a vampire would likely give your dad an aneurysm. Not that that would be such a bad thing, but still. You were so completely unprepared to have this conversation…

So you drank your coffee and introduced your partners as friends, tearing off little pieces of your heart with every word, not so much because of the lie you told your parents, but because you couldn’t gather the strength to tell your family about your situation. Yes, it was unconventional, and yes, it was absolutely going to cause some really big problems… but you loved the guys so much. Then why was it so hard to choose their love?

“They’re your family, I promise we all understand,” Marshall let you know, and you thanked the universe for his gift and the fact that it was becoming so well-established outside of feeding situations.

“You’re my family too,” you replied, fighting back tears. “Probably more than they are.”

He promised you that you’d get through this, that life would go back to normal, and that your parents didn’t have to find out about the details of your relationship with the guys, and it all seemed to be headed that way — until something startled your mother and she dropped her empty coffee cup as she reached to put it back on the table. Unthinkingly as ever, Mike snatched it before it could hit the ground — a feat you could have passed off as ‘incredible reflexes’, if not for the fact that he was on the other side of the room from your mother when it happened, and he was back in his chair with the cup in his hands after barely a second.

“Darlin’, come here,” your father said slowly as he got up from his chair. “Now.”

“No, dad, sit down.”

“We have to leave,” he insisted. “That man is a vampire.” He held a hand out to you, and in that moment half of your childhood flashed before your eyes. Countless memories of being pulled along, dragged away from all things deemed dangerous and ungodly… Endless lectures on dangers you now knew never even existed in the first place. The amount of times that hand had struck you for disobedience and being ‘too curious for your own good’ — whatever the hell that meant.

“I’m aware of that,” you answered, your voice surprisingly even.

As per your predictions, your dad’s face looked like he was about to explode. “Y-you’re… aware of that?”

“Honey, you… you knew he was a vampire, and you chose to live with him anyway?” Your mother was pale as a sheet and looked like she was about to faint.

“I didn’t know at first,” you explained quietly, “and when he told me… I was shocked, of course. But… it didn’t change anything. He was still the guy I met… the guy I… fell in love with.” Cat, say goodbye to bag.

You focused your attention on the throbbing vein on your father’s forehead, so you could avoid looking into his eyes for a moment longer.

“Do I understand correctly that you are living with four men, one of whom is a vampire, and you are also seeing that boy? That… monster?” Mommy dearest was three seconds away from smoke coming out of her ears, dad’s face displayed an interesting mix of terror and fury. And you… you were finally fed up with all of this.

“No, mom, you’re mistaken,” you spoke slowly as the rational part of your brain begged you not to do what you were about to do. “I’m living with four men, all vampires…”

“Don’t say it,” Marshall broke into your thoughts, “please. They’ll never forgive you. Think about this.”

He was right, of course, and you should think about this a while longer. Blowing up your relationship with your parents on a whim was probably not a great idea, not to mention that they were only here because Katie was such a bitch. And Marshall was right: they’d never forgive you.

“After everything we’ve given you, everything we’ve done for you… we let you go to college!” Your dad spoke through gritted teeth, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “And you thank us by getting involved with these miscreants? You’re coming home, you ungrateful little whore!”

He raised a hand to hit you, but Marshall was faster. Of course he was faster. As soon as your father’s hand connected with Walter’s body, you heard a strange, loud tick — one that reminded you of the electric fences around your old neighbor’s yard. Whatever it was, it made your father retreat.

“Marshall…” You reached for him, only to be pulled back by August.

“Don’t touch him right now,” he warned you quietly. “You’ll get hurt.”

“He attacked me!” your father screamed — presumably mostly at your mother, but who knew…

“Young lady, you are coming home with us,” your mother said, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Back to where it’s safe, far away from these abominations.”

“No.”

“I beg your pardon.” Your father seemed to have forgotten the mysterious incident with Marshall, who had now reluctantly stepped aside and seemed to have regained his composure. “Do not go against your mother, young lady, or…”

“Or what? You’ll hit me again? I don’t think any of them will let that happen,” you said, gesturing around you at the guys. “And I don’t think I will, either. I’m not going anywhere. I belong here.”

“You belong with your family,” your father snarled.

“I believe I just said that.” Tears escaped your eyes as you said it.

“You’re truly choosing these creatures over your own flesh and blood?” your father inquired angrily.

“Oh they’re more my blood than you can possibly imagine.” And that was the precise moment all remaining bridges went up in flames. Had your mother been wearing pearls, she’d be clutching them, and your dad… The anger in his face disappeared, making room for a completely blank expression that carried more hatred than anything you’d ever seen before.

“You’re feeding them.” Not a question, very much an accusation. And a correct one at that. Your father didn’t need an answer. “We’re done here.”

“Dad…”

“You are no daughter of mine,” he said, his voice dripping with contempt. “I thought we could save you, but this sin will never be forgiven.”

They left quietly, leaving the five of you behind in your own bubble of deafening silence.

It took a while for you to speak. “Mike,” you whispered, “I’m going to get so totally unreasonably mad at you. I’m already sorry, and I won’t mean a word of whatever I’m about to say…”

“That’s okay, Sweetcheeks. Kinda deserve it.”

“I… you…” But whatever words you had planned on throwing at him got caught in your throat, and before you fully realized you were moving, you were on your way to your bedroom, where you dropped down on the bed, no longer able to fight back your tears.

Some time went by and the mattress dipped next to you, and two arms wrapped around you. Mike. Then again, and another pair of arms. Sherlock.

“Can we…”

“Get in here, both of you,” you grumbled. This bed was not big enough for all of you, but fuck that.

Marshall got in behind Mike, August behind Sherlock.

“Hm, this hasn’t happened in forty years,” Marshall mused as he squeezed both you and Mike close.

“What the hell happened in the eighties, damn,” you laughed.

“We could show you,” Mike said as he snuggled closer to you, suggestive eyebrow wiggle included.

“I have no problem with the cuddling, but if this turns into an orgy, I’m gone,” Sherlock warned half-jokingly.

They all laughed. Half-heartedly at first, but soon… the sound of them was genuine and deep and warm, like a blanket and a warm bath, all at the same time.

“Did I fall asleep?” It was getting dark outside, so you must have, right? Sherlock was still holding you, but Mike was gone. Apparently, Marshall had taken his place.

“You did, darling,” Sherlock answered. “How are you feeling?”

“Weird…” As was to be expected after such an intense break up with your parents. “Is it bad that I don’t feel as bad as I think I should feel? Where’s Mike?”

“He had to get out of the house. He feels guilty,” August said calmly.

“I couldn’t have bluffed my way out of this forever,” you sighed. “And I know they’re not going to change. I’m so sorry for everything they said about you.”

“I’d say we’ve heard worse, but… it was up there. For me, at least.” Mike. Standing in the doorway one moment, sitting at the foot of the bed the next. “I’m sorry. If I hadn’t caught that cup…”

“Like I said, Mikey… I couldn’t have kept this from them. Even if this had gone over well, Katie would have told them eventually.” You reached for him, and he immediately took that to mean ‘please dive on top of me this instant, preferably face-first into my cleavage’. It did not mean that, but it was fine. More than fine, even. You ran a hand through his messy curls and smiled at your favorite idiot.

“Is there anything we can do for you?” You were fairly sure you’d never completely grow used to sweet August.

“Someone could explain to me what the hell was going on with” — you turned around so you were facing Marshall — “you… And then we can get to our movie night, maybe?” Mike immediately jumped up, mumbling something about snacks, and disappeared.

“Right, that…” Marshall said. “I can tell you, but I can also show you… I promise I won’t hurt you.”

With your curiosity thoroughly piqued, how could you refuse? You put your arm on the covers like he asked, and gasped in surprise when he ran a hand over it. Little… pricks, of some kind, stung your skin as he moved his hand. It felt like…

“Electricity?” you asked. Marshall nodded. “You tased my dad?”

“I suppose you could say that,” he responded calmly — maybe too calmly for someone who was admitting to electrocuting your father. “It’s not that dramatic, love.” Right. Mind reading. “As far as we know, I can manipulate existing electrical currents.”

“Can you turn the lights off?” you blurted out. They flickered for a moment, and he smiled at you. So, yes. He could.

“I don’t know how it works, just that it does,” he shrugged — for as far as possible when one is lying in bed, anyway.

A dirty smirk revealed he knew what you were thinking. “Pondering the possibilities, are we?” he said softly as he ran a hand over your arm again. The feeling raised goosebumps all over your arm. “We’ll continue that experiment at a time when it doesn’t make Sherlock insanely uncomfortable.”

“Sorry, Sherlock,” you mumbled.

“It’s alright, darling,” he replied. “We should join Mike, I think he’s done setting up.”

Marshall carried you to the living room and pulled you into his side as he sat down on the couch, while August put your feet in his lap. Mike, who just came back with a cup of tea for you, whined softly.

“Do you want attention?” you asked with a smile, already knowing what the answer would be. Mike nodded furiously. You gestured at the floor in front of the couch. “Come sit here. You’re staying with me tonight, okay?”

You’d asked the guys a million times if they weren’t uncomfortable on the floor, and they’d sworn they weren’t, but you still felt slightly awkward asking Mike to sit there. He hummed softly when you ran your fingers through his hair, and reluctantly reached for the remote.

“Movie?”

#mike hellraiser fic #mike hellraiser #mike (hellraiser)#hellraiser mike #mike hellraiser fanfiction #henrycavill fanfic #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill #henry cavill characters #walter marshall #hc sherlock #henry cavill sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes #august walker #august walker fanfiction #natural fic #naturalfic

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musical-chick-13 · 2 months

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What the hell is up with the female character discourse?

I DON'T KNOW!!!!!

The thing is. Yeah, there are some male characters who are genuinely reprehensible (or even, I would argue, not that complicated or not written with a whole lot of nuance), who do have a sizable hatedom. But I can go into any general fandom space, and I can guarantee there will be at LEAST a few people who like them and think well of them.

I do NOT have that guarantee with female characters.

I'm not going to say, "It's never been this bad!" because. It's always been bad. People have been throwing around accusations of "Mary Sue" or "1-dimensional bitch" or "Irredeemable monster" for any female character with half a flaw since before I've been alive. My first fandom experiences, even before any of us really knew what fandom was, were riddled with a vitriolic hatred of the women in the media we talked about. Genuinely sometimes it feels like there is no sin more unforgivable in fandom than liking a female character who doesn't fit into a box. (And there are, despite what people love to claim, plenty of those. Also, people love to claim depth in male characters where it isn't meant to exist, so AGAIN, don't give me the "The women just aren't well-written enough for me to care about them" excuse.)

People go out of their way to Not Be Normal about women sometimes. Or, at the very least, to not view them as worthy of caring about or paying attention to. "Girlboss (positive)" with no elaboration. "Oh, sure, I care about this character but only because she's likable and palatable and 'normal' (whatever the fuck that word actually means)." "I like her a lot!" <-will never talk about or analyze her despite doing that 5 million times for a comparable male character. Treating actresses (actual!! real life!!!! people!!!!!!!!) like shit because their characters "get in the way" of a popular ship (either a m/m one or a m/f one). Derailing every earnest conversation you try to have about a fictional construct who doesn't exist with all the uncomfortable, violent ways they personally would like to murder her, and just had to tell everyone about it. Toxic yaoi is fine and beautiful and narratively deep, but as soon as any complex or unhealthy ship with a woman is involved, we need to clutch our proverbial pearls and talk about how people are illiterate and brainpoisoned and going to ruin society. It's not even the fact that people are weird about female characters, it's the fact that it's this egregious, all the time. It is a fight to simply discuss a fictional character in peace, all. the. time. And I KNOW I'm not saying anything I haven't said before, I am just SO TIRED.

The answer to "what the hell is up with this discourse" is "misogyny," but. I think we all knew that.

#and OBVIOUSLY this gets complicated when the male characters are not white. because the double standards hit them too #the only way to get away from the Discourse™ surrounding female characters is. I've realized. in really tiny fandoms for things that #primarily have a female cast #(like noir or cx/gf. though that second one had some. OTHER discourse re: the characters of color versus the white characters #because of course it did)#multi t(ASK)ing #mel screams about fictional ladies again #hello good morning I am here to make my thoughts™ everyone's problem :)#fandom misogyny

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oncloud999 · 9 months

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Yesterday i learnt my trigger is people calling the boys liars. This fandom has become so comfortable calling them, especially jk a liar it makes me so angry. This happened too back in 2020 when the soop talk between taekook came out and the fandom unanimously clutched their proverbial pearls and either called the conversation a lie or swept it under the rug and pretended like it didn’t happen. Then the next morning, tae goes to hug jk in bed and suddenly it must be a lie and they can’t be awkward, it’s the company making it so. Same thing is happening again with jk saying he doesn’t keep up with the members all the time in reference to knowing where tae is.

If this fandom is so comfortable saying the boys lie all the time, then who are they actually stanning if you can’t believe the words that come out of their mouths. none of us know them personally, how do we as fans know what is a truth and what isn’t? i for one take everythign they say as believeable. if you think someone is lying to you constantly, are they even worth stanning?

and this fandom is also trash for the way it ignores and ot7fy and degrade jikook. it’s not just taekookers now. i see the jk solos, the jm solos, the vmin report accounts and the “ot7s”. i’m seeing these big accounts calling for jikookers to be reported because we dare to say tae is dating jennie. which at this point, if you don’t believe it, you’re in denial. and yet when the fandom calls jk a liar and drag jk, jm and jikook in general, it’s silence from the jk report accounts, silence from the “ot7s”. even vmin accounts are silent on jm being dragged.

and honestly i have no problem with people not believing jikook are dating but to call every interaction they have fanservice and forced by the company, and to degrade the friendship and bond they have had for the last 10 years, that’s unacceptable. if you can’t believe the people you stan are genuine, again, who and why are you even stanning them? and i see jm solos now saying the same thing as taekookers and i’m just flabbergasted. they are literally jm antis and you’re parroting their words, are you for real?

“it’s a joke that we’re calling them liars”! are you really when you’re literally attacking a translation account for translating WHAT THEY SAID???

being a jungkook and jimin bias has been tough the last few months watching their solos drag the other, watching the fandom drag both of them and watching other fandoms drag them too. watching fellow jikookers turn into solos... it’s been hard. but at the end of the day, i’m here for jungkook and jimin and i will support both of them. i’m proud of what both of them have achieved in their short solo careers and i hope they continue to shine and flourish.

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covenofthearticulate · 1 year

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It’s still Valentine’s day in my timezone quick everyone reblog some good old fashioned Loustat while armandblr isn’t looking!

“You can’t be serious.” Louis can’t help from scoffing.

“Why the hell not? Stranger things have happened, darling.”

Lestat had come to expect this sort of reaction. He relished it, in fact. The facial journey alone was award worthy— those wide-set emerald eyes fluttering with shock, the tug of his brow in confusion, concern, embarrassment, and finally the flicker of outright anger at Lestat for having the audacity to present him with such a gift in the first place.

“I didn’t ask for strange, I asked for uneventful. It’s a frivolous holiday monopolized by commercial industries preying on dull, horny idiots.”

“I’m trying to evolve here, Louis! The mortals celebrate it, and so we shall celebrate it too. And as the resident dull horny idiot in this household, I happen to take umbrage with your sentiment.”

He leans in to christen his argument with a kiss, but Louis catches his face between a web of ten long fingers.

“I love you. But I am not going to put that thing up my ass.”

Silence, for a moment, as Lestat freezes under Louis’ gaze, as he often does, a deer in the proverbial headlights. The seriousness with which Louis speaks almost has him fooled for a moment, as if this is a matter of life and death, but when the words finally reach Lestat’s brain, Louis has the pleasure of watching the laughter bubble up through his brilliantly animated features until he’s downright howling.

“Louis!” He gasps between the full-bodied cackles, hands clinging desperately to the unshapely sweater hanging from his lover’s shoulder.

“Well, I’m not!” Louis says, and he sounds every bit the young man he once was, twenty-five and full of fire once more. Willing to die on any hill.

Lestat twists his head out of Louis’ grip, flops forward to lean his forehead against the other’s shoulder for a moment as he catches his breath, before turning around and slumping down into Louis’ lap like a touch-starved mutt. Hooking his elbows over Louis’ knees, he stares at the offending device left on the sheets before them.

It’s unassuming— sleek and black and curved at what Lestat can only imagine is the perfect angle. Six whole vibration settings and a wireless remote control. Refined. Luxurious. Powerful.

Out of everything in the shop, it had been the one thing Louis had begruglingly admitted would “most likely achieve it’s intended purpose without the absurd showmanship of bright colors or multi-faceted bits and bobs,” which, in his own exceedingly diplomatic manner, was his way of saying That’s the one I’d probably hate the least, which in turn meant a big ol’ fat maybe.

And that was good enough for Lestat.

He trusted Louis, of course. Louis had been his master, after all, in the art of contemporary lovemaking. Try as he might to deny it in the company of others, Louis had assimilated completely during those years in San Francisco. Lestat may flaunt his affairs and exaggerate his lust, but it is Louis who truly knows what it means to be queer in the twenty-first century. It’s Louis who haunted the nightclubs up and down Castro, it’s Louis who dedicated his scholarly pursuits towards new vocabularies and strange turns of phrase, it was Louis who stood in awe, enraptured by the colors of the rainbow flag with every bit of gobsmacked wonder he’d possessed in those fledgling years.

His composure inside that tiny corner store had shocked Lestat at first, but he knew well enough that it was all an act, just as much as the flustered pearl-clutching was an act in front of just about anyone who breathed. But this wasn’t Louis the poised gentleman; this was Louis, the seasoned veteran of hanky codes and crisco. It had stunned Lestat, in fact, to watch the fine line Louis so expertly threaded as they stalked arm in arm down the aisles. Never too interested, nor too put off by any one thing. There were a few golden moments when, despite his best efforts, Lestat caught a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. But this was always covered by a dull pedantic remark (“If you’re going to jam the word ‘cum’ into a completely non-related word, at least make sure the number of syllables remains the same. That’s just preposterous.”)

As far as dates go, it wasn’t half-bad.

But snickering around an adult shop is very different than bringing home the most expensive toy on the shelf. This is no longer a gag or a funny mortal custom; suddenly this is a leap of faith, and Lestat is plummeting headfirst into the unstoppable, immovable object that is the love of his life, Louis de Pointe du Lac.

Oh, god. You really fucked this one, Lestat.

He shuffles back against Louis, twists one strand of black hair around his finger, and he turns his head for one moment, forehead tucked under Louis’ chin. He takes a breath, feels the solid form of his lover beneath him, and is reminded of why he bought that stupid piece of silicone in the first place. Such a finely made thing, his Louis. They’d spent so many hours, in this lifetime and the last, on a never-ending quest for pleasure in all it’s many forms and fashions. Lestat has given him everything— body, soul, the very blood in his veins. But this is new. This is something Lestat cannot offer. And he wants Louis to have it, wants him to find new ways to feel good, new pleasure that makes these long centuries worth living.

“What have you got to lose, mon coeur?”

“It’s not that I have anything to lose…I simply don’t think there’s much to gain. What I mean to say is, you don’t truly believe that sort of thing would still have any effect on us, do you?”

“I don’t know!” His own jilted laughter makes him cringe— it’s always the laughter that gives him away in the end, isn’t it? “Isn’t it delightful, not knowing? Don’t you want to find out?”

“I don’t know,” Louis quips, which earns him a smack on the arm.

“Pfft, coward.”

“I’m not a coward, Lestat, and you’re not going to goad me into this.”

“Who’s goading? I’m not goading. Just disappointed my gift won’t be enjoyed.”

“I never said that.” He replies, and suddenly his voice is just a little bit lower and when Lestat turns he’s met with those two goddamn laser beams and he swears he’ll disintegrate any second now.

“Lestat,” Louis says in that voice, which…okay, yeah, it’s go time.

“Hmm?”

“I believe a demonstration is in order.”

#took a break from working on my other fic to crank this out and tbh i had so much fun #i love them so MUCH you don't understand #loustat #Louis de Pointe du Lac #Lestat De Lioncourt #drabble #my writing #Interview with the Vampire #vampire chronicles

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amphoraeus · 10 months

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Was talking with my niece about some upcoming games that will be released for the Switch and she pointed out a game to try to get me to convince her mom to buy. Anyway I said, “Yeah, I can see you liking it. It reminds me of a game I like to play.” Then my niece goes, “Oh yeah, Sims 4 or something like that?” Then I, proverbially clutching my pearls, have to emphasize, “No, not 4, 3. I play Sims 3.”

Never realized how much it annoys me for someone to think that I would play Sims 4 xD

#random #amphora rambles #Was just thinking about this and thought you guys would be amused xD

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sasster · 4 months

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coworker came into the classroom

said something to me

then whipped his head around like something was missing

goes “hold on, hold on” sees my unopened energy drink and clutches his proverbial pearls and goes “oh thank god. i thought something was wrong. (chase) has their energy drink? then i know everything is okay”

i think today is going to be significantly better than yesterday

#made me giggle

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bravenewolympus--hq · 8 days

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ʙʀᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴏʟʏᴍᴘᴜꜱ : ᴀ 21+ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɴ ɢʀᴇᴇᴋ ᴍʏᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴏʀᴅ ʀᴏʟᴇᴘʟᴀʏ.

𝑰 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒚, 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝝂𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 – 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝝂𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔.

they called it an offering, and zeus had always been a glutton for those, especially when it was all wrapped up with a bow and delivered by someone devastatingly beautiful. an offering, an apology from prometheus for his misdeeds, overdue penance to the one true god of all gods. she’d memorized the script, smiled and breezed her way through the offering, and all that was left was for zeus to take the bait and open the box.nothing quite like honey, or a pretty smile, to catch the proverbial fly, after all. and in the deepest corner of hades, the shackles of cronus, the once and future king, came loose. second chances, after all, are not given to make things right, but to make things even. and what was just a little more waiting, when he had already sat chained in the pit in breathless anticipation for millenia? utterly meaningless, not unlike his promises of his progeny and their better selves. he would sit, and wait, and watch as his beloved children, for all their base selfishness, tore themselves apart in the name of ambition, pride, and greed. athens, new york: an island city, all trees and marble, glass and steel and highrises set against an ocean skyline. bustling and loud, crowded, but not without a bizarre sense that it must have sprung up overnight, somehow, when surely it must have always been here, no? on a clear night, you might even be able to see the lights of its more famous cousin, new york city, across the water…if you squint hard enough. it may not get as much attention as the shiny apple across the hudson, but those not so blinded by the lights must certainly have been coming here for years. is there something in the water here, too? no one leaves, not in any meaningful way anyway. feels like it has a special way of pulling you back in, if you try. they, that is anyone who was anyone or paid even an iota of attention to the evening news, called him the minotaur. the media does love a catchy nom de guerre, doesn’t it? sells newspapers like hotcakes in the morning. ambrosia, whether it’s the latest designer drug trend or the latest pestilence sweeping the streets of athens, just depends on how tightly you clutch your pearls on sundays. must infuriate the police, don’t it? that without fail, by the time they arrive to any crime scene at all, all that’s left is the heap of little cream-coloured business cards, the red lines of a labyrinthine logo more taunting than they are helpful. between an epidemic of pearlescent powder, neatly parceled out in small plastic baggies, a tide of crimson bull graffiti, casinos and bordellos and the nightlife (oh my!), it’s no small wonder they call this an atlantic sin city. it’s a vice eat dog world, ain’t it? and anyone who calls athens home is just living in it. powerless, with no memory of their past lives, what's a god gotta do to survive? what is brave new olympus? a crime-focused take on the greek gods, demigods and heroes we know and love, loosely inspired by once upon a time, set in the human world and modern age. we call athens, new york, home: a fictional island city across the bight from the boroughs of its more famous cousin, the big apple.

#crime rp #literate rp #lit rp #21+ rp #discord rp

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