#chsp
Text
chsp is literally so underrated. satisfies my binge urges, exhausts me enough so im to tired to eat overall, and makes the food more repulsive since you see physical that couldve been let into your body. its pretty disgusting to look at, yeah, but it wouldve been even more disgusting if i actually ate that
#tw mia#tw disordered eating#ed vent#anamia#tw ana diary#bul1m14#tw mia stuff#4norex1a#trans ana#th1n$po#chsp#ed tips#ed for beginners
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chipping Sparrow - Spizella passerina
Los Angeles County, Mar 21, 2024
Observed resting for a few minutes before it started energetically foraging among the low branches of the tree it was in.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chipping Sparrow
Kentucky 2023
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thanks to chsp I am finally in a 500 calorie deficit. I legit couldn’t do it before. When I was a teenager I was tricked into thinking that calories were still somehow ingested but now that I know that’s a goddamn lie I am finally making strides.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
How come we don't talk more about c/s-ing??????
I always thought nah, I'm a binge hoe, chew n spit won't cut it
Bro
And sis
And anyone else
Istg I'm so mad I didn't try this sooner. I think from now on I'm just going to c/s anything that I eat at my own apartment. Ofc when I'm out with friends or visiting my parents I won't be able to do it but BRUH
I CAN BASICALLY BINGE WITHOUT KEEPING THE CALS IN OR HAVING A BLOATED PAINFUL BELLY AFTERWARDS
The only tiny con is that I got really bad heartburn after trying it which I assume is the case bc my stomach acid was preparing to kill some food but it made me nauseaus so I wasn't hungry for a few more hours
Dude I swear, chew n spit for the friggin win
#pro ana#only pr0 for myself#pr0 m1a#pr0 mi4#4n0r3x14#pr0 m14#m1a#pro 4na#pr04na#pr0anna#pr0 anamia#ed not sheeran#edblr#Chew spit#chsp
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Broke up with my fiancé gained 11 pounds 😑🤟🏾
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the difference between edtumblr and addicttumblr is just the difference between nonsexualized body pics vs sexualized body pics
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chipping Sparrows
Virginia, April 2024.
0 notes
Text
does literally anyone else have chsp disorder on here </33
#plz i feel so alone lmao#i never see anyone on here talk abt it and im just like ?????#chsp disorder havers plz b my moot rn
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Want to understand the difference between Commonwealth Home Support Program (CHSP) and Home Care Packages (HCP)? Read our blog to know which Aged Care option is right for your care needs.
0 notes
Text
not to be dramatic but ch/sp literally saving my life rn
#tw ed#bul1m14#ed disorder#ed vent#male ed#trans ana#ed relapse#tw anamia#chsp#tw disordered eating#tw mia#anamia#tw ana diary#tw mia stuff#4norex1a
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Uh so my girlfriend abrubtly lost her job and somehow her liscense is suspended so we cannot do uber eats. Uh we just really need some cat litter and cat food but were gonna try to get through until she gets a new job and paycheck :,) uh her handles and ill put my info (im a little backed up on commissions ive been a little busy but please if you need a commission please get me @vampiremangle I am open basically for Any type of art just pm)
Her handles
Cshpp: $burtclaws
Vnmo: burtclaws
Pypl: @/chrislb3
My handles:
Chsp: $tsuyuyuyu $ciarahelza
Pypl: ciarah6789 or [email protected]
Vnmo: tsuyuyuyu
Like even $5 would help I hate to ask at a time like this but. Fuck man
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Therapy Session March 4, 2024
I haven't written for a few months about my therapy for an eating disorder. Since this blog is a semi-diary for me, I want to record some of what's been happening.
——————————————————
I no longer chew and spit (CHSP), which is a pattern of disordered eating that occurs when someone chews food but spits it out instead of swallowing it. It's been at least 10 months since the last time.
I sometimes still feel the urge to do this, but since it was a form of disordered eating I didn't engage in as often, it has been easier to stop.
I've found that mental health challenges are like seeds in the ground. Sometimes they sprout and I have to fight them back, but they're always lurking, ready to spring up. Will I ever chew & spit again? Maybe. If I do, it doesn't undo all the time between then and the last time I engaged in that behavior. It's okay to not be perfect and have a step back, healing isn't a straight line.
—————————
I no longer engage in binge eating on a daily basis, and when I do, it feels different. Before it felt like I had no control, like I was watching what was happening, and often the next day I wouldn't have any memory of it. Now I'm aware. When I have a strong compulsion to engage in binge eating, I know it's easier to give in, but it feels like I make a choice.
I don't feel compelled to binge every single day. And when I am feeling the urge, I no longer eat the food in a mad rush as I did before. Sometimes I can even identify why it is I'm having this compulsion to want to do disordered eating.
For the times I am going to give in, I try to limit the amount by purchasing a smaller amount of food and eating in the car, once it's gone it is gone. Other times I will have healthier foods, which they aren't as satisfying or don't completely scratch the itch, but I feel better knowing it wasn't as bad for me. I recently have found if I can go to a public location I can wait until I feel more in control before I eat, it may take an hour or two of hanging out in the library or a large store.
—————————
I have figured out that I began disordered eating as a teenager at the time I stopped doing self-harm. The emotions and situations that made me self-harm were still present, so my body & mind found alternative ways to cope. As my therapist put it, a different way to self-harm.
Interestingly, since disordered eating is something I do in private, there was a 2-year break when I was a missionary because I did not have privacy. I didn't have a time where I could purchase food or eat food without my mission companion knowing.
—————————
My registered dietitian is helping me learn intuitive eating. As part of this I am to record how hungry I am before I eat. I have learned that I do not feel hunger. I always have a "0" on the scale. I have been eating strictly for emotional reasons or according to a set schedule (like when I am in the office I get a lunch break at a certain time). On Saturday when I don't have a set schedule, I may not eat until 3pm or even later, and it doesn't bother me because I am not hungry. I've learned this often is a result when someone suppresses their emotions.
In the past month, I have twice felt hunger. One Saturday morning I noted it at 7am, wrote it down and eventually it faded away. I felt hunger again at noon and at 3pm. My dietician said this is a good breakthrough but I need to eat when I feel hungry. By not honoring the hunger, it communicates to my mind it should continue to suppress that feeling.
In the past week, I was eating a salad for dinner and while eating I felt full, which was a surprise. I didn't recognize until that moment that just like how I didn't feel hunger, I was not experiencing satiety. Remembering to honor the signals from my body, I stopped eating and put aside the final 1/4 of the salad for later.
Feeling hunger or fulness seems like it should be natural, it's based on physical sensations, but I am having to retrain my body to let me consciously be aware of those sensations.
—————————
In 2017~18 I was in therapy and learned I'd been suppressing my emotions for about 2 decades. I had to learn to allow myself to feel. I felt like a toddler who was experiencing big emotions and not knowing how to deal with them, I cried a LOT during that time.
Because I know what the difference feels like, when it was suggested I may be suppressing my emotions again, this seemed correct. I have gone back to feeling no extreme emotions, or virtually any emotions. In some ways it is a more pleasant way to go through life. My therapist responded that "It is easier, until it isn't."
My therapist asked me what feeling I am most afraid of, the one feeling I most do not want to experience? I had to think about that. My answer is both fear and anger.
Then we talked about why those two emotions? Both come from my feelings as a closeted gay Mormon. Fear of what it would mean if others found out I'm gay. Would I lose my community, my family? What does this mean for my future if I am not going to have a wife and kids as that's the only path forward that had been presented to me? Fear that I am defective and broken.
Also anger, but not anger at church or society, instead it was anger turned inward on myself. Why do I feel this way? I'm a terrible person for having a crush on my classmate. I'm a sicko because of the erotic dream. Why do I have to be this way? Why can't I be better?!!
Even last year when I received the eating disorder diagnosis, I was angry at myself. In 2017~18 I had gone to therapy for being suicidal, I was also diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder, I learned I suppressed my feelings, that I have the symptoms of PTSD, and I had virtually no self-esteem. I have done a lot of work on those things. Now with the eating disorder, it was a reminder that I stayed with an organization that has caused me damage and I was angry at myself for that. The first time I was in therapy and getting diagnosed, fine, I didn't know better. But after knowing better, I still stayed.
These two emotions of fear and anger are related to the many messages I internalized from home, from church, and from society about people like me. Those messages only amplified the big worries and emotions which felt overwhelming, and suppressing them was a way to cope, as was self-harm, disordered eating, and so on.
The therapist asked me to speak words to my teenage self who is fearful of what it means to be gay and who has turned his anger inward against himself. I couldn't do it. Just the thought of it made me want to burst into tears because to say those things was taking me back to those feelings. Instead, I said that I have had many people in that situation contact me and I have a great deal of empathy for them and I share messages of affirmation, encouragement, love, and support with them. She said that's great, and I need to say those messages to myself.
I am waiting until I am home with time before I allow myself to experience all those big feelings. It will be a way to break the dam open on my emotions and I suspect it will be a lot of big feelings. Then as I experience these things, I need to speak a message to my teenage self who didn't know how to handle those feelings.
—————————
The eating disorders, and my other mental health issues, have largely been caused by growing up gay in a Mormon family and in a society that was anti-queer. I didn't start coming out to people until I was about 40 and then not to everyone until I was 46. Being in the closet means hiding who you are, carefully monitoring what you reveal about yourself. Suppressing who you are also involves suppressing your feelings as part of hiding who I am.
—————————
My therapist said eating often is an emotional experience, for instance we associate it with good times with friends, romance, and so on. It's not uncommon for emotions to influence when and what we eat.
I have 6 brothers and sisters, all of us were born within a 10-year period. My father often worked 2 jobs or had jobs where he'd travel a lot, possibly being gone during the week and back home on weekends. My mother was busy! She usually had 2 kids in diapers, had to keep the family organized and going, often she had big church callings like Relief Society president which took time. There was not much time for each child to feel they had the attention they craved.
Meals would be the one consistent time when mom would be with the children, a chance to share, to feel cared for. It's no wonder when I feel the need for love, when I feel no one cares about me, when I feel lonely, I turn to food because it came to represent love and caring.
—————————
Also, food became something I identified with scarcity, maybe there wouldn't be enough of it. If I have it, I should eat it...just in case.
I have a good job, I don't have to worry about not being able to have food. Yet when I'm buying a prepared meal or I am cooking, I will often get much more than needed just in case. When I binge, I eat until the food is gone, I don't have a natural stopping point, so my mind remembers I might eat a lot.
I am learning that food isn't scarce. I can always get or make more.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
US Nationals 2023 - FD Breakdown
Chock/Bates
ChAJ: last jump (pictured below) exceeds 1 rotation limit by assisting partner but as it is the fourth jump (and jump sequences just have to have a minimum of three jumps) and can technically be considered a separate mini-lift, does not impact validity/GOE of ch. element.
DiSt: very open overall, generally you can tell in both the rocker and counter done by Madi that she is bearing very little of her own weight. Better ice coverage than previous outings this season.
ChSp: spinning slide with the entrance is a very creative way to use the sliding split. Would honestly be a better fit for their choreo slide.
Twizzles: Madi pirouettes the last 2 rotations of her second set of twizzles, should be a deduction of 1 level to W3 / M4. Not great speed
SlLi: smooth, very controlled lean and movement of her leg by Madi, good control on exit but lunge is very shallow and not well controlled.
OfSt – generally will be on flatter curves on their exit edges before taking a bit to deepen between. Madi stays over her rocker throughout turns but Evan tends to lean forward on his backwards exits which puts him on his toe pick, you can tell because his blade will catch on the ice and he will slow down in comparison.
Sp: very cool entrance with smooth transitions in and out, very clear establishment of positions.
CuLi + CuLi: first lift a lot more established than earlier in the season but the transition between the two positions takes quite a while for Madi to establish her standing position. Additionally, Evan’s 1ft exit is rather rushed for feature and is not held to match Madi’s extension, you can see it’s a little uncontrolled through the dip exit they’re doing and he immediately begins quick stroking to pick up speed after instead of extending and holding.
ChSt: interesting mini-lift to start but a rather extended pose before the ina bauer into deep outside besti squat, you can see Madi slightly catch her edge on the arabesque out but overall much better than the earliest iteration which had very few skating features. Would like to see more involvement of Evan as Madi is doing the vast majority of all skating and dancing in the element.
OVERALL changes to the TES score, not considering PCS. Even though Nationals scores tend to be high with the pretty obvious insecurity during the combination lift and sub-par step execution, that score should not near 130.
#madison chock#evan bates#chock/bates#wtficedance#ice dance#figure skating#us nationals 2023#free dance#wtfbreakdown
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking I’m slick being an omad girlie but my mum bringing it up in todays session fml bout to become a chsp patient fuck this housing crisis
#ana buddie#ana rant#tw ana trigger#ed not sheeren#tw ed diet#omad#omad diet#tw ed rant#ana dairy#tw ana shit#ana trigger#need to be thinner#thinspø#thin$po#i will be thinner#bonespr0#bonespø#shadow and bone
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chipping Sparrow
Virginia, April 2024.
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
meljitsu
Jiu-Jitsu Motivation
gorgonofstone
medusa, oh medusa
lady-virus
NineTailed Fox
thegifsoffriends
The GIF's of our favorite sitcom!
redbagvaytiennhanh70
RedBag Việt Nam