Sent by anonymous
‘Imagine if PB reused Cassian (Witness) faces and hair for an MC, and then at some point in their story they say that they once had a two year relationship with a horrible woman who they tried proposing to and then says ‘man, what was I thinking?’’
POST/CONFESSIONS DO NOT REFLECT THE MOD’S PERSONAL OPINIONS!
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I hate these books and why from Choices
1. Kiss of Death (The story ok, the MC is not)
2. Roommates with Benefits (Sex all day in my college life)
3. The Billionaire's Baby (Affair is forbidden in my principle, LI is same as Dalton using nice as a shied)
4. Surrender (The MC is amazing! The LI belongs to trash)
5. Untameable (the story ok, but MC and LI need to be slap so they don't get horny all the time)
6. Shipwrecked (Not that interesting story)
7. The Duchess Affair (Like i said, Affair is forbidden in my principle even LI is good)
8. The Princess Swap (The Non-Royal Twin i love, The Princess Twin i need to slap)
9. Witness: The Bodyguard Romance (disgusting)
10. My Two First Loves (MC is a shit as his childhood LI. Noah is everything♡)
11. The Nanny Affair (Probably tolerate because MC i build like a fucking bitch in the catwalk, but Dalton is a chicken)
12. Wolf Bride (The story ok, The Alpha bullshits thing i hate)
Well, i dare you change my mind
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Cadybear's Reviews- Witness
Welcome to the twenty-fourth official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about Witness, which I have ranked on the "Rotting Flesh Tier" at 2 stars out of a possible 10. My last and only playthrough of this was around May 2021.
Hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhhahahahahahhahahahhahhahahhaahahhahahahahahhaahahahahahahhahaaaahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahaha what the fuck were you guys smoking ahahahahahahahahhahahaah
Looking back on it though, this one probably… isn’t the worst. It’s certainly generic and aggravating, but there isn’t really anything about it that is outright offensive. I mean, maybe by the Choices standards of the year it came out, it certainly would be trash tier. But as of late, we’ve gotten some *really* bad stuff that gives this one a run for its money.
A lot of people tend to deem MC as whiny, spoiled, obnoxious, and a jerk to Cassian. But a few others have pointed out that a lot of MC’s behaviors make sense considering she’s just been through a deeply traumatic event (y’know, witnessing a murder) and so it’s natural for her to be a bit messy and irrational and unpredictable, especially when she’s thrown into a lot of less-than-desirable situations. I mean, after suddenly watching a murder take place right in front of you, who wouldn’t be terrified.
Which is a valid point, but also frustrating since we still have zero agency with this character. We don’t really get much say in how our MC responds to or deals with this trauma, and it would be nice to have options because there are different ways people can respond to trauma. But of course we don’t get that, because writing different possible versions for a MC requires actual effort.
To add insult to injury, pretty much all the options for MC to behave more rationally (as well as this pre-set childhood backstory about how everything her parents did was for status) are paywalled. Choices certainly isn’t immune to highway robbery and paywalling ridiculous things, even in their best works, but for God’s sake, they make us pay diamonds to even eat anything for breakfast or dodge a taser gun!
Also, the trope of having a MC being protected by a super muscular bodyguard LI is… so fucking done to me. Especially since this app is generally aimed at straight/wlm audiences. I don’t mind if other people like it, obviously, but I’d like to see it switched up for a change. At least let us have a male MC option for this– seriously, this story is very pointlessly genderlocked (Then again, we’d have one side of the fandom complaining about “taking away one of the few games with female locked playable characters” and another side of the fandom complaining about how the MC is “female coded” because they get protected and rescued by a bodyguard, but those are their problems tbh).
Okay, so why don’t I consider this one one of the worst? Well, even considering the many, many problems people have justifiably brought up about this– the stiff MC, the ridiculous diamond-walling, the formulaic romance dynamic– while those are all real problems with the story, I don’t any of them are outright offensive. Especially considering a lot of the newer books we’ve been getting like Surrender, FCL, and TBB, which seem to give straight up toxic relationships and behaviors a mere slap on the wrist.
MC and Cassian’s relationship isn’t something I would call a healthy relationship, but I wouldn’t call it toxic either. So between that and the relationships of the aforementioned books, it’s like choosing between prune juice and bleach. Which is pretty much the difference between Rotting Flesh Tier and PooPoo Tier– the former is the equivalent to prune juice while the latter is the equivalent to bleach.
And, hey, this one is at least a fun kind of bad. People have memed on this one to hell and back for the ridiculous stuff, such as how eating breakfast is paywalled and “Say I don’t like breakfast” is the free option. It at least gave us some stupid stuff to laugh at that will be remembered in Choices history.
So overall, it’s not quite the worst. But at best it doesn’t really do anything new or special and is just fun to laugh at, and at worst it’s annoying as all fuck.
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“I like watching him get tangled up in his own web of self-pity, raising a superiority complex AND an inferiority complex at the same time.”
THAT NIGGA HAS BPD!!,! 🫵
ohSHIT... I didn't REALIZE
Oh noooo is that why I like him so much? Did I read BPD into Nightheart and attach myself like a limpet?? Oh god it makes sense now OTL
I was even planning for him to eventually find out he has a LOT in common with Squilf who I already decided has BPD in BB because I love her so much, is that what I was picking up on subconsciously?
AND BRAMBLESTAR IS A MUTUAL ABUSER OUGHHH... she probably recognizes him using the same tactics on Nightheart that used to work on her! Oh god oh fuck!
LISTEN; I don't rewrite arcs until they're done, so, don't take any of this as canon to BB yet, but... maybe a change I should really anticipate is changing HOW Bramblestar steps down.
I think it would work well with the themes of BB for it to not be his choice, but a... "gentle rebellion." Squirrelflight, Sparkpelt, all of the Firekin, Twigbranch, everyone who has been harmed by Bramblestar confronting him as a group and telling him what's going to happen next.
"You're going to step down. You won't be talking to Nightheart anymore. Enough is enough, Bramblestar."
"So this is how it ends?? This is how you treat me? ...this is what you've felt, all along? I've given EVERYTHING to this Clan, since--"
Just starts ranting, his voice rising in volume, lurches up out of his nest and tries to tower over everyone to make them cower.
They don't budge.
Sparkpelt is eye-level with him, just as big as her father. When he catches her gaze, he doesn't see his daughter's eyes. He sees Jessy, just before she left.
And she sees a child throwing a tantrum.
"Enough is enough."
He does not take the lesson she meant from this. He just hears his traitor of a deputy, his witch of an ex-mate, with her words in his daughter's mouth. He doesn't regret the real reasons; he regrets allowing Squirrelflight to mentor his kit.
And he claps that anger onto Squilf; "StarClan will be the judge of you."
A year ago, she would have been terrified of that. But God is hard to fear when you've been plucked from the heavens and seen his angels die.
"Ok. Anyway,"
then she delves into some boring legal stuff like how he won't sleep with the other elders, the logistics of making this official, going to the Moonpool with a witness, etc etc etc
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Made this back 2 years ago when I first played Witness lol. I hate that many of these "Sexy"/"17+" books are clearly aimed to a female audience but the descriptions focus more on the female MC's body than they do on, y'know, the character that MC is actually screwing, lmao. I get if lots of women like to feel sexy but as a lady myself I'm tired of always having to be the sexy one :(
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Fifteen days into the new year, and I have:
Been invited to contribute a couple of lesson plans on premodern history to an edited collection;
Applied for and received a book to review for a notable scholarly journal in the field;
Checked in on my book chapter submitted in 2022 and told it's still in the works and they are hoping to submit the whole manuscript sometime this year before the open access funding expires;
Waited (in fact still waiting) for a decision on whether to accept the chapter/paper proposal I submitted to a different edited collection, whereupon if it does get accepted I will have to write the damn thing;
Thought with Intention about working on my accepted book proposal from last year, but still have not in fact opened the word document in the actual year of our Lord 2024;
Pros: staying busy! Working on multiple projects and publications! Filled out my research agenda for most of the year already! Great stuff to add to the CV!
Cons: ....you mean I have to actually DO this now? I have made a terrible mistake.
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