#charlie cox imagines
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you’re losing me ; matthew murdock
warnings: pure angst, swearing, matthew is kind of a douche,
song inspo: “you’re losing me” by taylor swift
your mouth felt dry. it was hard to swallow your fear. your skin felt hot. the room felt smaller than normal.
the tension in matthew’s apartment was growing thick, like a cold morning fog. he wore a scowl on his face.
“say something! you need to say something” he broke the silence, standing up from the couch to stand across from you in the kitchen, but you held a hand up to stop him.
“no,” you halted. “just… no” you croaked, hands gripping the countertop to hold yourself up. your knees felt weak, like they were jelly. adrenaline was running through your veins as your stomach dropped to your feet.
“y/n, you know i wouldn’t cheat… you know me, cmon” he shook his head, adamant that you’d believe him. but you weren’t so sure.
“do i?” you asked aloud, as if you were trying to get matthew to rethink his words.
“because the matthew murdock i know wouldn’t lie to me about trailing around the city with his ex? or would he? oh my god…” saying the words out loud made you cover your face in your hands, heart banging against your rips as it started spiralling.
matthew just scoffed at your behaviour, causing you to raise your head up. “what? what is your problem matthew?”
“i knew you wouldn’t understand…” you stopped listening after he said those five words.
he’s been like this for weeks now, acting like you hardly know him as well as the lover from his past—but he’d say it in such twisted ways. you knew it was her influence—the power she had over him was unbearably strong. but, a little part of your heart had hoped that he wouldn’t act like this—that your matthew wouldn’t diminish you like this.
you knew his daredevil work was important to him, as well as defeating the hand. but the way hes explaining it to you as if you were incompetent in comparison to electra made this your final straw. the dam broke inside you, & you couldn’t stand to have your heart broken again.
“stop,” you cut him off loudly. “just stop it. you’re losing me matt—i-i can’t listen to your bullshit anymore” your voice croaked again when you pushed yourself off the countertop, brushing by matthew’s body quickly towards the bedroom.
“don’t like what i have to say? you’re going to walk away? like this is nothing?!” matthew followed you, the scowl on his face ever so present in your mind.
“don’t you dare act like i treat our relationship as anything but a priority. that’s mean matt, & you know it” your voice was on the edge of being ice cold, it’s freezer burn itching matthew’s skin as he nervously scratched the back of his neck.
you continued grabbing your purse. your keys. your wallet. your spare clothes. your phone charger. your toothbrush from his bathroom. you took it all.
“this is ridiculous” he deadpanned, walking over & grabbing your upper arm. “stop packing. don’t leave—“
“don’t touch me” you jerked away from his touch, pushing his hand off your arm in a flash.
matthew’s brows furrowed in offence. he was left speechless for a second.
“then talk to me!”
turning to face him, you elicited a sigh & crossed your arms. “okay, let’s talk”
“i’m unhappy. i feel lied to & pushed away as a second thought. i know you love me, but you act like you love her more—you let her sleep in my clothes on my side of the bed for god sakes matt… what do you expect me to do with that?!” you poured out your feelings to him, eyes glossy & head ringing with a headache as you gestured to your shared bed.
“she was hurt—she almost died y/n! what? do you want me to say i’m sorry for saving her life?”
“that will never justify you not being honest with me… especially when we’re engaged! why can’t you understand?” you stepped closer to him, crossing your arms tighter to your chest. your voice grew quieter with your last words, hoping you’d get him to see your point of view.
he still gripped his black mask in his left hand. it made you laugh internally. bet he wants to be out there than here right now….
“you’re hurting me matt… can’t you see where i’m coming from? or sense it? you’ll fight for her, risk your life for her… but you can’t fight for me? or choose me?”
matthew felt his heart drop as realization started kicking in, but he was stubborn. he didn’t want to be wrong about this. “i don’t understand—i was trying to protect you y/n… i-i…” unsure of what to say, matthew just stood there at arms reach.
tears were slowly falling down your cheeks as you scoffed at him this time. “you think lying is equal to protecting? not like this… definitely not like this”
“but you’re the one i’m marrying—i’m your fiancé. doesn’t that show that i choose you?” matthew’s point was valid, so you sighed in slight agreement.
“but, you’ve cancelled on me multiple times. you’re barely here! i sleep alone, cook alone, clean alone, shower alone… you’re only here when you need something for her. that doesn’t feel like you’re choosing me”
brushing past him again with your purse in hand, you walked towards the apartment door. “hey, where are you going?” he questioned, trialing behind you with determination.
“away”
“when are you coming back?”
the sound of your engagement ring being placed on the credenza echoed in the apartment. “i don’t know” you swallowed again when you took your hand away from your ring, knowing matthew wasn’t taking your action well.
“no—no. don’t go” he pleaded with you, his hand coming up to brush your arm but you stepped away.
your heart strings were pulling. you didn’t know it’d be this hard. “i can’t marry you if you act like you don’t want me—like you don’t love me. i’m not putting myself through that anymore” you had to turn your back to him because it got too hard to look at his melancholic expression.
he stood there like a statue—still with no movement. matthew wanted to pull you into his arms, tuck his head into your neck & keep you close. but at the same time, he knew he couldn’t. he had to let you go.
“you know, it’s kinda funny,” you commented with your hand on the door knob. “you fight your clients & you’ll fight for the city, but you can’t fight to make me stay, or prove me wrong… you’re just letting me go,”
you looked at him again, seeing how he was a shell of the man you grew to love over the last few years. this felt wrong—the whole situation felt so wrong. but you had to do this for you. he needed to get his life together.
“i just thought you’d try harder than this, murdock”
& with that, you pulled the door open & stepped out of the apartment with a heavy heart. matthew stood there stunned as he heard you push the elevator button, walk inside the compartment, & sigh when the doors closed.
he slid down the door frame, holding his head in his hands with his fingers tightly gripping his hair. he felt angry. disgusted with himself. but he felt even worse when he heard your quiet sobs from the elevator.
he lost you. his daylight—& now all matthew had was the loneliness of midnight.
you lost your daylight too, but you lost it a while ago.
#mcu fanfiction#charlie cox fanfiction#mcu daredevil#charlie cox#celebrities#charlie cox imagines#daredevil#matt murdock imagines#matt murdock x reader#matthew murdock imagines#matthew murdock#matthew murdock angst#charlie cox fanfic#matt murdock#matt murdock blurb#matt murdock mcu#netflix daredevil
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I need someone to show Charlie this tweet 💀
#charlie cox#what i would pay to see him read this out loud#this is better than any thirst tweet imaginable#daredevil#matt murdock
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Is It Over Now? | Matt Murdock x Reader
Masterlist
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader ; (hinted) Frank Castle x Reader ; Elektra Natchios x Matt Murdock
Summary: Matt cheated on you, and you are trying to navigate through it.
Warnings: Angst, no happy ending, break-up, mention of cheating, song references (Taylor Swift), inspired by 'Is It Over Now?', (some) Matt "slander", (somewhat) suicidal thoughts, alcohol consumptions, hint at smut
Word Count: 1.7k
A/n: 1989 TV came out and I am losing my shit. Is It Over Now? Is my new favorite song and I just had a brain fart that made this. You can read this if you're a Swiftie and catch the references or just read it without listening to the song. It works either way.
It wasn’t supposed to end like this.
To be fair, there was a time when you thought it would never end. The thought of ever having a last kiss with him would have killed you back then.
He told you that you were the love of his life. You believed him. He was yours, certainly. You can’t deny that.
You were happy, you laughed and cried together, and part of you figured that if you ever broke up, you would find a way to work through it somehow.
Maybe in another universe, you are still together. Maybe in another universe, you two are still friends. Maybe in another universe, you never had to lose each other.
In this reality though—in this brutal, unforgivable reality—everything changed in a matter of a day. And there is nothing you can do about it now.
Your flower was withering in secret, and you didn’t realize what it was doing to you. Every time you woke up alone, every canceled date, every time he called you and told you he wouldn’t make it home tonight, it was sure to build up to this.
But this, whatever the hell this is, it hurts beyond compare.
He said you were a rose, but now that you look in the mirror, you only see a rotten mess.
The past few months have done this to you. He has done this to you. The paper airplanes crashed and burned. There is nothing left but pure bitterness and this hatred you have toward yourself and him; you just want to land your fist in his face, and then maybe your own because how could he hurt you like that after making you love him so very much?
You loved him so much, but now you doubt he ever loved you back.
Date after date, coffee after coffee, nights spent together on his couch and in his bed, sharing laughter, sharing tears, it all feels like a hoax now.
You held him when he was unconscious, stitched him up and told him he was going to be okay. Where was he when you were bleeding out from your own battles? You wonder.
His smile used to be your safe haven, the epitome of innocence and strength, but now it only makes you angry. It makes you resent him. You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t, but you still do.
So much has changed, and all it took was one day.
One day.
Three hundred days, all wasted in one.
If you think about it, you spent almost an entire year attached to each other’s side. You moved in together. You kissed, you had sex, you shared secrets you wouldn’t have told anyone else. You helped him hide away from the world, from his enemies, made the world go quiet, and comforted him while he cried. You waited up, you worried, and you almost lost him more times than you can count, and you still stayed.
When no one else would take a chance on him, when he felt everyone was against him and going to leave him, you acted as his rock. You stayed.
You thought he was the one.
And then it just… ended.
You gave him the benefit of the doubt when you found her in his dress shirt on his leather couch. The very same couch you two often shared passionate nights on, but at the same time it used to be a symbol of so much more than that.
You let him explain. He explained that she got seriously hurt after showing up out of nowhere, and he just wanted to help without putting you at risk. You believed him because that is the kind of man he was in your head. He was going through some things, things you couldn’t possibly understand, and she was the connection. You tried to understand. In the process of understanding him though, you lost yourself.
That is something you will never forgive him for. Making you care, making you love him, and unintentionally making you give up on yourself while he continued to break your heart.
You never wanted this to end, never wanted him to go, but in the end, it was the only way. Sticking around wasn’t an option anymore, you have to remind yourself.
He did the one thing he promised he would never do. He broke your heart and your trust into a million pieces that you are now left to pick up on your own.
You didn’t want to see it before. You were too in love to open your eyes.
He wouldn’t do such a thing, right? You remember repeating that to yourself, to your friends, to Foggy and Karen, but Karen saw him with her, too, and she gave you little hope.
Still, you believed in him. You believed in his morale and his faith. You had faith in him, not even in God but in him and the man he pretended to be—and somehow, he still picked up the knife when you weren’t looking and buried it in your back.
There were so many signs, but you were blind. So many flashing lights. Red flags. Screaming voices in the back of your head begging you to think. You were in a forest full of trees, yet you saw nothing.
When you came home to find his lips on hers, that’s when you knew. Too little, too late.
He called your name. He told you, “This isn’t what it looks like!” But you lost count of the times he used the same line in relation to her.
To anything, really. He always knew how to talk his way out of something when you were together, although back then, it was mostly harmless.
“I trusted you,” you remember saying. You couldn’t even cry. “And you turned right back around and fucked her!”
“It was just a kiss,” he argued.
“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause if I ask Elektra, I’m sure she will tell me the truth.”
“No,” Matt was adamant because he could hear your heart breaking.
The way you spoke to him was so eerily quiet. That was how he knew he lost you, and he tried to fix it with nothing but his hands.
But that is not how you fix a broken vase. That’s how you make it worse and hurt yourself in the process.
You remember him opening his mouth, having the audacity to apologize. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“No. Fuck you, Matt!”
You tore the necklace with his initial off your neck and tossed it at his feet. You couldn’t even look at it. You wonder what happened to it after he picked it up.
“I trusted you. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I was there when no one else was, and this is how you repay me?” you said.
You should have never let him fool you.
At least you had the decency to keep your lonely nights to yourself.
“Sweetheart, please,” Matt tried to beg again.
You wouldn’t let him. Thank God you were strong enough to withstand the tears in his eyes.
“You’re a fucking traitor, Matthew Murdock,” was one of the last things you said to him. “I wish we’d never met.”
Three hundred days. You fell in love. You finally knew what love felt like, and then…then he turned around and fucked it all up.
“We’re done.”
Some days, you still regret it, but if it was so easy for him to toss all this time together down the drain, he probably wasn’t worth it.
But God, you were so in love.
Sweet nothings whispered in your ear are gone now. You’re all alone in your bed. No one to cuddle, no one to touch. It has been a while since you heard someone say, “I love you,” and mean it. You felt loved until you didn’t. Until the life he led ate him up.
Instead of talking, instead of fighting with you, he drove you into a tree. A car that didn’t need sight, and still he crashed. It was winter then, the snow painted red by the blood of your broken heart. Your favorite dress torn up as you tried to escape. He reached for you the same way you reached for him, but you weren’t there. And he wasn’t there when you needed him most.
Part of you feels bad. You could have worked through this if he hadn’t kissed her. Or maybe you wouldn’t have. In the end, it killed you. It killed him.
You killed each other.
Though there are still days when you think about jumping off of very high somethings just to get his attention. Just for him to see you. To come to rescue you. It is a hurtful and selfish thought. Yet, you can’t help it.
He was your first true love.
Your mind keeps repeating the same sentence: It wasn’t supposed to end like this.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he told you once.
He searched for something greater in the bed of someone he loved before. You weren’t his first love. You should have known he would say that and not mean it.
But when exactly did you go wrong?
Was it over when he stopped coming home at night? Was it over when he forgot your anniversary? Was it over when he canceled your birthday dinner? Or was it over when he shoved his throat down his ex-girlfriend’s throat in front of you and acted as if it didn’t matter? Was it over then?
“Another one for the lady,” a voice pipes up beside you.
Your empty glass of tequila disappears, now replaced by a full one. In your drunken haze, you see a head of brown hair, and his smirk makes you wonder if there’s more to him than he lets on.
“Thank you,” you murmur, tipping your glass to the stranger.
“Nah, don’t thank me.” He sits down next to you. “You look miserable.”
“What if I am?”
“I’d tell you I know the feeling.”
You huff but offer the stranger your hand with a mention of your name.
He smiles. Your name rolls off his tongue effortlessly. “Frank,” he introduces himself in return. “Castle.”
“Nice to meet you,” you say.
Broken people make bad decisions, but whether it was over when he took her right there on his couch, or it was over when you told him it was doesn’t matter.
It is over now, and all you want to do is forget.
You need to forget Matt Murdock.
And if this stranger called Frank needs to unbutton your blouse to help you do so, you will gladly follow him home.
Matt Murdock Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @itwasthereaminuteago @mattkinsella @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @thychuvaluswife @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @ravenclaw617
(also, I keep tagging you in stuff, but I also think you might like this @blackshadowswriter)
#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock angst#daredevil x reader#daredevil angst#angst#no happy ending#songfic#is it over now by taylor swift#elektra natchios#frank castle#frank castle x reader#x gender neutral reader#elektra natchios x matt murdock#cheating trope#lizzi writes#charlie cox#matt murdock imagines
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good boyfriend
pairing: Matt Murdock x reader
warnings: SMUT 18+, fem receiving oral, fingering, male receiving oral, cum eating, daddy! kink, p in v, creampie
summary: Matt's worried about being a good boyfriend because he's never had a relationship as serious as yours. To assure him he's a good boyfriend you tell him you love him the first time.
word count: 2,700
“Come back to bed, Matty.”
You were wrapped up in his blankets looking over at Matt who was pulling clothes out of his dresser. He had only gotten you to let him out of your arms when he threatened to pee on you. But now he was defying his orders to immediately return to bed.
“Foggy called,” he said. “We’ve got a problem with the Asimov case.” He picked up a shirt and then went to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Let Foggy handle it,” you said. Matt rested his hand on your hip over the blanket as he smiled down at you.
“We’re partners, sweetheart,” he said.
“No, you’re a control freak,” you said flatly.
“I am not a control freak,” Matt said with a laugh.
“Aren’t you, daddy?” You teased him.
“Don’t start,” Matt warned. You sighed.
“Matty, you told me that we’d have the whole weekend together,” you complained.
“And we will, sweetheart. I’ll only be gone a few hours. It’s just a quick meeting,” he said. Matt started to rise. You reached forward and grabbed the hand that Matt had resting on your hip.
“You promised, Matt.” Matt could feel the way you were staring at him. He could sense the disappointment in your expression and taste the salt in the air as tears welled in your eyes. It was the use of his name that changed his mind. You didn’t call him ‘Matt.’ Ever. You called him ‘Matty,’ or ‘Murdock,’ and even the occasional ‘Matthew,’ but never Matt. Not since your second date. He had to stay.
“I did, didn’t I?” He asked rhetorically.
“Yes. You did,” you said firmly. He nodded.
“I’ll call Foggy and tell him I can’t go,” he said. He heard your face move as you smiled.
“Thank you, Matty,” you said.
“You don’t need to thank me,” Matt said. “I promised you. Wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I didn’t keep my promises.”
“You’re a good boyfriend, Matthew,” you said softly. You tugged on his hand, pulling it up to your lips to kiss his knuckles.
“Am I? Really?” His voice was raw and you could hear the fear in his tone.
“Matty,” you murmured. You sat up from the bed and swung your legs over the edge so you could face Matt properly. You took his other hand in yours, your fingers tangling between his. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I mean…I’ve never been with someone this long. I don’t know how I’m doing. And it’s not like I’m…normal,” he said. You chuckled.
“You think I want someone normal?” You teased him.
“You know what I mean, sweetheart. You got a lot more than you bargained for with me,” Matt said. There was worry on his face. You hated to see him like that, especially on his day off. You looked up at him. You still had his hands in yours but he felt miles away.
“Sit down with me, Matty,” you called to him as you tugged on his arms. Matt smiled softly, the expression on his face lightening. He sat on the edge of the mattress, but you pulled him back further onto the bed so you could seat yourself in his lap, straddling his hips. He chuckled as you shoved him around.
“Was pushing me necessary to the conversation?” Matt asked as his hands settled on your ass. You pushed your hands against his chest gently.
“Sorry, do you want me to get off?” You taunted him. His grip on your body tightened.
“Don’t you dare,” he said. You giggled as you slid your hands over his chest up to his shoulders, one of them reaching behind his neck to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. There was a moment of quiet as you looked over every inch of Matt. He smiled softly as he felt the way you were looking at him, knowing that just as he did with you, you paid attention to every detail of him that you could sense.
“You’re a good boyfriend, Matthew,” you said after a moment.
“You swear?” He asked.
“Matty, the vase in my kitchen hasn’t been empty since we started dating,” you said.
“Anyone could buy you flowers,” he said. He was a true Catholic, never taking credit for any of the good things he did.
“But no one else ever has,” you told him. A frown remained on Matt’s face. You were searching for what to say to him to make him understand just how good he really was. “You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had, Matty,” you said frankly.
“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” he said dismissively. He looked so forlorn and it was breaking your heart. You took a deep breath, gearing up to tell him something you had known for a while, but had been too afraid to say.
“I love you,” you said. Matt’s head snapped up to face you.
“Really?” He asked in disbelief. You smiled softly at him.
“Yeah, Matty. I love you. A lot, actually,” you told him. Matt grinned.
“I love you too,” he said. “Also a lot,” he added. You chuckled lightly. You leaned forward and kissed Matt gently, but he pulled you in closer, sliding his tongue into your mouth and moving it against yours. His hands explored the curves of your body beneath the old Columbia shirt of his you were wearing.
“Let me show you, sweetheart. Let me make you feel my love,” Matt murmured against your lips. “Please, baby,” he pleaded when you didn’t respond immediately.
“Show me, Matty,” you drawled. “I want to feel you.” Matt let out a low groan. He pushed you down onto your back sliding down between your legs. His fingers were drawing lines down your sides as he settled on his stomach. He found the waistband of your underwear. His head turned in your direction.
“May I?” Matt asked. You nodded.
“Please,” you whispered. He smirked as he tugged down your underwear. He pushed your legs apart and reached out his hand running his thumb along your opening. You were wet already. You were wet pretty much any time you were around Matt. He knew and he relished in the smell of you any time he was around you. It cut above the perfume you wore and the scented shampoo. It haunted his senses and made him desperate for you anytime you were near.
“Hmm,” he hummed contentedly. “So wet. Is it for me?” His voice sounded innocent somehow. Sweet and unassuming. Like he didn’t already know the answer.
“Of course it’s for you, Matty. Always you. Only you.” Matt moaned.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you t—ahh!” Matt dove his tongue into your pussy, slurping at your hole before moving to lick circles around your clit.
“You taste so fucking good, sweetheart,” he muttered against you. “Absolutely divine.”
“Feels so good, Matty,” you murmured. Matt alternated between fucking you with his tongue, suckling on your clit, and licking circles around it. He listened closely to your heart and your breathing, focusing on the same spot whenever your heart picked up a bit or your breath caught in your throat. “Matty?”
“Hmm?” He hummed against you. You moaned wildly at the vibrations
“Your fingers,” you panted out. Two of his fingers found your entrance plunging into you at once. You moaned loudly as Matt began thrusting his ring and middle fingers in a solid rhythm against your walls.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmured against your body. “Give me what I want.” You let out a strangled moan as Matt wrapped his lips around your clit once more and sucked harshly, making your orgasm crash into you like a tidal wave. Matt kept his movements against your body until he felt your hand pulling at his hair tugging his head away from your body. “Feel good?” He teased you. He listened as you caught your breath, relishing in every moment that you were unable to speak. You smiled at Matt when you had recovered. You pulled him up your body and pushed him onto his back.
“Your turn, Murdock,” you sang sweetly. Matt listened as you grabbed his underwear and pulled them down his legs. His hard cock sprang up, finally free of its constraints. You let out a small hum of pleasure at the sight and Matt smirked.
“You like what you see, sweet girl?” He taunted.
“You know I do,” you said as you settled between his legs. You reached forward and wrapped your fingers around the base of Matt’s cock. His breath hitched. You gave him a gentle squeeze. “Mmm. Can’t wait to have you inside me.”
“We can skip to that part,” Matt called down. You chuckled.
“No, Murdock. You’ve gotta feel how much I love you too,” you said. Before he could reply you leaned down and took the tip of his dick in your mouth. Matt moaned roughly. You sucked at the tip, sliding your tongue through the slit at the top of his cock. His breathing was growing more and more ragged, but you were still focusing only on the tip.
“Take the whole thing, baby. Please,” Matt whined. You hummed a ‘no’ around him and he let out a whimper. “Please, baby. Please. Just a little bit more, baby. Just a little deeper.” You kept your focus on his tip and Matt gave a pained whine. He threw his head back against the mattress in frustration. You smiled around him before pushing yourself down his whole cock, letting him hit the back of your throat.
“Fuck, baby!” Matt shouted. He jerked his hips against you and moaned loudly. You bobbed your head up and down a few times, moving your hand in unison with your mouth. Matt was gasping and whimpering when you took his balls in your free hand, squeezing them gently.
“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna come,” Matt cried. “Don’t stop, feels so good!” His hand went to your hair, winding into it so he could control your movements slightly. You only made a few more strokes before you felt him spilling into your mouth. Matt was moaning and his hips were shaking against the mattress. You hummed happily at the taste of his cum, swallowing every drop. You leaned back onto your knees and smiled down at him as he came down from his high, gasping and twitching as he settled.
“Can you go again?” You asked when he had calmed. Matt chuckled.
“For you? Always.” He said. He sat up from the mattress and smashed his mouth against yours. He wrapped his arms around you and flipped you over, throwing you onto your back. You giggled. Matt was kissing all down your body, every inch of you covered by him in some way or another.
“Do you need a minute?” You asked. Matt’s lips popped off your nipple, licking over the nub before moving his lips up to your neck.
“Tell me you love me again,” Matt murmured against your neck. You smiled.
“I love you, Matthew Murdock. More than I’ve ever loved anyone,” you sang. Matt moaned deeply.
“I don’t need a minute,” he said. You looked down and saw that he was hard again. You felt your heart throb as you realized that your love was what turned Matt on. You let out a small moan of your own.
“Please, Matty,” you whined. Matt lined his tip up with your soaked entrance. He slowly began pushing into you, both of you moaning in unison as his cock stretched you out. You could feel every inch of him filling the emptiness that you felt when he wasn’t around. He was deep inside you, reaching places in your body that no other man had touched. He started to pull out again once he was all the way inside you, but you grabbed his hips and pulled his body into yours.
“Wait!” You called. “I need to feel you this way,” you said. Matt nodded. He pushed deeper into you, so that there wasn’t any space between the two of you. “God, you’re so deep, Matty.” Your cunt flexed around Matt and he groaned.
“Fuck, baby,” he muttered. “Your pussy’s so fucking tight.”
“It’s your pussy, Matty. Belongs to you,” you moaned. Your hands moved to Matt’s shoulders, holding him firmly. “Fuck me, Matty.” Matt shifted onto his forearms and began slowly moving his hips against you. You lifted your legs and wrapped them around his hips. He began to hit you at a deeper angle as he sped up, creating a steady rhythm against your body. You started moaning roughly as Matt began rolling his hips. You dug your nails into his back.
“Does that feel good, sweetheart?” He taunted. You nodded and let out a strangled moan in agreement.
“Love your cock, Matty!” You cried roughly. He grabbed your legs, unhooking them from his body.
“Turn over and get on your knees,” Matt instructed you as he pulled out. You whined when you felt empty again, but quickly followed his instructions. Matt took your hip in one hand and his cock in the other. He lined himself up and pushed his tip into you. He stilled his hips once he’d gotten his head in. You looked over your shoulder at him, wondering what the hold up was and saw him grinning at you. You were about to question him when he opened his mouth. “Work for it.”
“Yes, daddy,” you said. You turned back to face forward as you pushed your hips back against Matt. He moaned roughly as he felt you wrapped all the way around him once more. You began pushing your hips back against him in a steady rhythm, pulling moans from yourself as you worked against his cock.
“I need you deeper,” you cried. Matt leaned forward and grabbed your shoulder, pulling you away from the mattress and against his chest. He grabbed your arms, holding them behind your back. He began thrusting into you quickly, slamming his hips against yours.
“Is this deep enough for you, baby?” Matt whispered in your ear. You felt his cock pushing into the wall of your stomach as his relentless movements continued.
“Yes, daddy! Feels so good!” You screamed. Matt reached around your body with his free hand and began rubbing quick circles on your clit. The noise you made was almost inhuman in the amount of pleasure it proved.
“Come on my cock and I’ll fill you up, sweetheart,” Matt growled into your ear.
“Ohh! Fu–u–uck, Matty!” You cried. His words were enough to push you into your orgasm and you let out a high pitched whine as pleasure overtook your body. You shook uncontrollably in Matt’s arms and your eyes rolled back in your head. Your walls were pulsing relentlessly against his cock and he let out a deafening groan as he came into you. He fell forward onto the mattress, trapping your body beneath him as you milked him of everything he had to give you.
You were both catching your breaths, your minds reconnecting with your bodies after the overwhelming pleasure of the orgasms you’d given each other.
“You’re squishing me,” you murmured against the pillow when you had calmed. Matt pushed off you immediately, rolling to your side.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmured. You shifted onto your side so you could face him and reached out to push some of the sweaty hairs off his forehead.
“It’s okay, Matty. I still love you,” you said with a grin. Matt grinned right back.
“I love hearing that from you,” he said sweetly.
“I love being able to say it,” you said. Matt leaned forward and kissed you chastely. He was smiling in your direction, clearly dazed by how much he was hopelessly in love with you when panic spread over his face.
“Shit!” He shouted and shot up from the bed, hands digging through his bedside table.
“What?” You questioned as you sat up from the mattress.
“I didn’t call Foggy!”
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock smut#daredevil x reader#daredevil smut#matt murdock imagine#daredevil imagine#matthew murdock x reader#matthew murdock smut#charlie cox x reader#charlie cox smut
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Grinning Like a Devil
Matt Murdock x Reader
Words: 3539
Summary: Matt and the reader tease each other relentlessly at work. What happens when they discover that it’s more than just harmless flirting? One night of one too many drinks may prove just that.
Notes: Some of my favorite Matt edits are to the song ‘Cruel Summer’ by Taylor Swift, and while I didn’t totally want to do another song based imagine for it (I have a different one for him in the works), I really love this cute little line for him. Plus I really need to write more fluff for him because everything is so angsty. This is, as so much of my fluff, a total mess, so I hope you guys enjoy.
More Matt imagines: HERE
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“And that’s three for me and… oh yeah, none for you,” you smirked, leaning on your pool stick.
“Isn’t there some kind of rule about making fun of the blind guy?” Matt chuckled.
“Matty, we both know you could have kicked my ass hours ago.” You shook your head and stepped towards him. “Stop toying with me and play.”
Matt leaned towards you.
For a second, you were afraid he could hear your heart racing in your chest, the butterflies in your stomach resuming their painful, wild dance. You faked a cocky laugh, letting him know you weren’t backing down.
A grin formed on his lips. “Okay.”
The next break landed three stripes. His next series of shots landed two more. You were right about one thing- he was perfectly capable of kicking your ass. The end of the game yielded only one shot for you while he swept the table. Hell, looked so bad for you, that you were half tempted to cheat and point him at the wrong ball. Somehow you felt he would know.
Matt put up his pool stick and took yours with a smile. You tried to keep your jaw from dropping.
He chuckled. “You asked for it.”
You snapped out of your awestruck state and laughed. “Remind me to keep my mouth shut next time.”
He paused and his smile shifted into a smirk. “Next time?”
“Oh, that was just round one, Murdock. One of these days, I will beat you fair and square. Without you going easy on me.”
He held out a hand.
You took it.
“Challenge accepted.”
The touch sent a pleasant shock up your arm. His finger traced along the back of your hand as he pulled away, grazing your knuckles. Your breathing hitched and another smirk spread across his face.
Bastard.
“I’m going to get another drink,” he said. “Do you want anything else?”
You cleared your throat to stop from squeaking. “Surprise me.”
He nodded and headed back to the bar. You had to lean against the pool table to stop your knees from shaking. This was stupid. You saw Matt every day.
But the way he smiled at you…
“Here.” Matt handed you a tall glass of a dark liquid.
“What the hell is that?” You laughed through your grimace, holding the drink up to the light. It was clouded and hardly allowed any of the neon to shine through.
Matt shrugged. “A surprise.”
“You’re terrible.”
“Oh, but you love me,” he teased.
“Whatever.” You took a drink and immediately regretted it. The burning liquid traveled down your throat like black tar and despite how hard you tried, you couldn’t hold back the coughs.
Matt laughed and sipped his perfectly normal beer.
“Shut… up…” you sputtered.
He kept laughing. It sent a surge of idiotic courage through your chest.
You tapped the bottom of the glass against the pool table, took a deep breath, and gulped down the rest of the foul drink without breaking. You swallowed back the disgusted coughs and touched the empty glass to his chest.
“Is that-” You winced at the taste still lingering in your mouth. “The best you’ve got, Murdock?”
Matt chuckled and shook his head, setting the glass aside. You take a step forward on wobbly legs and stumble. His arms shot out to catch you and held you up against his chest.
You both froze, dizzy from more than just the alcohol.
“Maybe that’s enough for tonight,” he breathed.
Having you this close, he didn’t need his hearing to know your heart started to race. And he knew, with your hands pressed against his chest, you could feel his too.
“That’s probably a good idea,” you agreed, finding your footing again.
The break of contact left a hollowness in his chest. His hand found your arm, both to steady you and to fill the space the lack of your touch had created.
You closed your tabs and he insisted on paying, despite your protests.
“After that toxic waste you downed, it's the least I can do,” he said.
“Celebrating anything specific?” Josie wondered. Her eyes shifted curiously between the two of you and she gave you a smirk.
Your face reddened.
“We won a pretty major case today,” Matt explained with a smile. “The big bad land developers were defeated all thanks to Y/N’s investigating skills.”
“Are you kidding?” You scoffed. “You and Foggy did all of the real work in that courtroom.”
“Work we couldn’t have done without you.” He squeezed your hand. “Give yourself some credit. Without you, we’re just a couple of guys in suits and no case.”
“Hey, don’t sell Foggy short,” you snorted. “He does all the real lawyering while you stand there and look pretty.”
A sly smirk spread across Matt’s face. “Pretty, huh?”
“Goodnight, Josie,” you said, trying to hurry away, but Matt’s hold on your arm remained. Standing this close, his laugh vibrated through you.
You walked out together into the chilly February evening. The brisk air bit at your bare arms, having forgotten your jacket in the office. You tried not to shiver.
“Here,” Matt said. He slipped off his suit jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders.
“Thanks.”
You tried not to think about how the fabric smelled like him- like cedarwood and leather.
Matt kept his hold on your arm, less to guide himself and more to keep you from tripping on something. The heat of his fingers on your skin radiated throughout your body. You tried to keep your breathing normal, but it was like the air was getting thin. That last drink really was a bad idea.
By the time you reached the door of your apartment, you were sure your flesh was burning up. You desperately dug through your purse, feeling the dread build up more and more as you searched.
“Shit,” you muttered.
“Everything okay?” Matt asked, brows furrowed in a way that was far too adorable for you to handle at the moment.
“I, um,” you gulped. “I can’t find my keys. I must have left them at the office. Damnit.” You smacked your hand against the door, hitting it a little harder than you meant to and wincing.
Matt took your hand in both of his, holding you steady. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“No it isn’t. You walked me all the way here and now I can’t get in and it’s too late to try to call me landlord and-” Your intoxicated brain spiraled into all of the things you’d done wrong that evening that led you to this moment.
Getting drunk with the man you were in love with being numero uno.
You started to hyperventilate.
Matt put your hand against his chest so you could feel the slow and steady rhythm of his heart as he breathed. He took a deep breath, indicating for you to do the same.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay, just calm down,” he said softly. “Can you do that?”
You closed your eyes, took a few breaths, and nodded.
“Sorry,” you said, sheepishly dodging his gaze. “Sometimes drunk-brain turns into anxiety-panic-brain and I have moments like that.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” he smiled. Matt let go of your hand but kept hold of your arm. “Why don’t we just go to my place? It’s just a few blocks away. We can pick up your keys tomorrow.”
Your heart leaped into your throat.
“Like… spend the night?”
Matt gave you that famous smile. “I’m flattered, Y/N, but I’m afraid you would be taking advantage of me,” he teased.
You shoved him playfully. “Shut up.”
-
It wasn’t like you hadn’t been to Matt’s apartment before, but this felt different. Maybe it was that horrible, horrible drink still making your brain a little fuzzy, but the neon lights of the billboard outside lit everything in a beautiful, color-changing glow.
The two of you sat on Matt’s couch and talked for what felt like hours. About nothing, about everything, about you, about him.
“So I go every year now to commemorate the occasion,” you said confidently
“You have an anniversary for falling off of a swan boat in Central Park?” He snickered.
“It was a formative moment in my childhood!”
Matt held up his hands. “Okay, fair enough.”
“When’s the last time you just took a walk?” You asked, leaning a little closer. “You know, stopped and smelled the roses? In all the time I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you slow down.”
Matt swallowed and didn’t answer. You had a point.
“You have to let yourself live, Matt. You can’t go around trying to save everyone.” You leaned closer, eyes falling to his lips.
Matt drew in, unable to stop himself. How long had he thought about this? How long had he thought about telling you? When he thought about slowing down, he wanted to do it with you. You made him want to want to have a life.
He pulled away.
“I think you should probably get some sleep.”
You jerked back.
“Right,” you said. “Thanks.”
What the hell had you been thinking?
“I’ll sleep out here,” Matt said. He stood up and went to a cupboard in the hall.
“Matt, you are not giving up your bed because I forgot my keys.”
“Too late, I already grabbed clean sheets.”
“Matthew-”
“Y/N, really, it’s fine.” He said and from his tone, you knew there was no winning. Besides, you were embarrassed enough. Did you really just try to kiss him? You didn’t even feel drunk anymore, which you didn’t know if that made it better or worse.
You hurried into Matt’s room and tried not to think about the fact that you were sleeping in his bed, under his covers, blanketing you in his scent.
This whole night was starting to feel like a mistake.
Matt listened to your heartbeat and felt the heat rushing to your face, kicking himself for making you feel like you’d done something wrong. He’d have to talk to you in the morning, when you were both sober, so you could have no doubt that what he wanted to say was true.
You both went to sleep with butterflies in your stomach and thoughts of each other in your dreams.
-
You woke up to a killer headache and the smell of coffee. You felt the sheets around you. Silk. Definitely not yours.
The memory of the night before started to come back to you.
Oh. God.
You were at Matt’s apartment.
You slept in his bed.
You tried to kiss him.
And he was outside the sliding door, right now.
The floor was cool against your bare feet, your legs shaking as you tried to walk silently to the door. You slid it open just a crack. Just to see where he was.
Matt was walking around the kitchen, most of his frame hidden by the open fridge door.
You stepped out of his bedroom. If you could just sneak to the door…
“Morning,” he greeted cheerily, closing the fridge door and giving you a bright smile. “I made you some coffee.” Matt held up a steaming mug with a slight chuckle. “I thought you might need it.”
You winced. “Right. Thanks.”
Matt could feel your skin getting warmer, as well as the churning of nausea going through your head.
“How are you feeling?”
“Super.”
Matt grimaced. “Yeah, I felt the same when I woke up. Hence, coffee.” He took a drink from his own mug.
There was a long, unbroken, and horrifically awkward silence between you. Why couldn’t you have one of those hangovers that obliterate any memory from the night before? Why couldn’t you get the image of him pulling away from you out of your head? Why did you have to try to kiss him? Why did you have to ruin everything?
“I should go.”
Matt blew out a low sigh. “I’ll walk you home.” He moved to stand, but you put a hand on his arm to stop him.
“I think I should go by myself,” you said quickly. If you stayed any longer, you would start to cry and you couldn’t do that in front of him.
“Y/N-” Matt started.
“Thank you for letting me stay, but I have some stuff I want to get done before we have to get to the office.”
Matt heard your heart racing. He could hear the edge in your voice.
He’d hurt you and he hated himself for it. He wanted the chance to fix things, but at the moment, he knew that anything he said would just make it worse.
“I’ll see you there, then,” he said quietly.
“Yeah, uhuh, right. Bye, Matt.” You scurried out of the door, forgetting your jacket and your purse but being far too embarrassed to go back in for them. As long as you had your keys, you would be fine. A fresh change of clothes and a cold shower. That’s what you needed.
Once you forced yourself to get ready for work, you actually had to go to work. Which meant facing Karen- who knew all too well your crush on your boss. And worse, it meant facing Matt again. Maybe you could get away with avoiding him.
You could not.
When you got to the office, Matt was there, perched on the edge of your desk with your bag and jacket in hand.
“You, uh, forgot these,” he said, giving you an awkward half-smile.
Karen sat at her adjacent desk and raised a brow.
You took your things and put them on the desk, feeling that all too familiar rush of blush to your face. Thank god he couldn’t see it.
Matt nodded and walked to his office, letting his hand graze your shoulder as he went, hoping it would be a comfort, but when he heard your heartbeat rise, he realized it was probably a mistake.
How could he show you that what happened last night, the reason he pulled away, was not what you were thinking?
The day passed agonizingly slowly, but at least Foggy and Matt kept busy enough that you were able to avoid him for the most part. You couldn’t bear the pitying half-smile he gave you so you made sure to stay with Karen, looking over cases and organizing facts about clients.
Matt was going mad, flipping through papers and listening to Foggy read off statements. All he could think about was the hurt in your voice and how he was the reason for it.
“Uh, earth to Matt,” Foggy said, snapping his fingers. “You there buddy?”
Matt swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?”
Foggy leaned over the desk with a slow, teasing smirk. “I think I know what’s going on.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You finally made a move on Y/N. Didn’t you?”
Now it was Matt’s turn to blush. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh come on, Matt,” Foggy exclaimed. “I saw it from the minute she wandered through our doors. You like her.” He poked Matt’s shoulder, prompting him to shrug away and stand. This, of course, was all the answer Foggy needed. “Oh my God you do like her!”
“Foggy-”
“So what happened? Did you guys go on a date?” Foggy raised a brow. “Did you do more than go on a date?”
Matt went silent.
Foggy’s jaw dropped. “Oh, did she reject you?”
Matt ran a hand down his face. “That’s not what happened.”
“Don’t tell me that you rejected her.”
“That’s not what…” Matt grimaced. “It wasn’t like that.” Because of course, he liked you and of course, under different circumstances, he would have liked to do a lot more than kiss you, but he couldn’t unless he knew that it was really what you wanted and not what the liquor was telling you to want.
“Well, whatever it was like, you better fix it,” Foggy said, walking to the door. “Because you do not want to let that one get away, my friend.”
The rest of the day passed painfully. You were avoiding him and he was trying to figure out how to make you stop avoiding him. It didn’t help that Foggy kept giving both of you painfully obvious hints, worst of all being when he asked Karen to help him run an errand, clearing his throat loudly as he passed Matt’s door.
You kept your head down, looking over client files and incident reports. Anything to take your mind off of the way his arm felt around your waist. His breath on your cheek. You came across a file that had a recorded statement. Shit. it must have gotten put with your things by mistake.
You swallowed, stood, and made your way to Matt’s office.
“I think this is probably for you,” you said softly, standing in his doorway. “I don’t usually listen to the statements.” You swallowed again, your throat feeling dry. “I just look into who you tell me to.”
“You do more than that,” Matt said, shaking his head. Why did you always downplay your importance? Could you see how much you meant to this place? To him? “Y/N, stay for a second. Shut the door please.” He took off his glasses.
You froze under his unfocused gaze, feeling him watch you in his own way.
“Is something wrong?” You gulped.
Matt gave you a small smile. “You’re the one who has been avoiding me all day.” He motioned for you to sit beside him on the edge of his desk. “I think we should probably talk about last night.”
“W-what… I don’t…” You stammered, staying where you were. “I didn’t think there was anything to talk about.”
Matt raised a brow, motioning again to the spot beside him.
You hung your head and shuffled to stand beside him.
“Now,” he said softly, “will you please talk to me? It’s been driving me insane all day not being around you.”
“What do you want me to say, Matt?” You sighed. Emotion crept its way into your tone. Embarrassment. Heartbreak. “Things took a turn. We stopped. We went to bed. What else is there?”
“What else is there?” Matt huffed, turning to fully face you. His hand reached for your arm. “Y/N, I did what I did because you were drunk. I didn’t think-”
“It’s okay, Matt.” You didn’t look at his face., at his dark eyes that managed to see you better than anyone ever had. “You don’t have to explain. You were just being kind. You let me stay because I was too drunk to open my own damn door. And I appreciate that, but please,” you grimaced at the memory of him pulling away from you. You shrugged away his hand. “Please just drop it.”
You moved to leave.
Matt stood in your way.
“I won’t just drop it,” he said, desperation in his tone. “Don’t you get that I can’t?” He grabbed you by the shoulders, not letting you go this time. “Y/N, I can’t stop thinking about last night. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
You blinked. “W-What?”
This wasn’t real. This was another trick of your mind. Surely you weren’t still drunk.
“I have wanted a night like last night since you first walked through those doors,” he admitted, listening to your heart as it started to race. He gave you a small smile, hoping to calm you down. To convince you that what he was saying was the truth. “But I had to make sure that it’s what you really wanted. Not because of some awful drink I dared you to drink or because you felt like you owed me.”
“Matt…” You trailed off. Couldn’t he tell? Couldn’t he sense that you’d wanted the same thing ever since you first saw him?
“I just,” he sighed, “I need you to know that.”
You didn’t know what to say. Any words that formed on your tongue died before they could make it out of your lips.
Matt heard your heart pounding. He heard your fingers tugging on the bottom of your shirt- a nervous tick he’d noticed your first day. He let his head fall. He’d made things worse.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said softly, grabbing his cane and heading for the door.
You didn’t think. Thinking had so far gotten you nowhere. Instead, you grabbed his arm, pulled him back around, and crashed your lips into his.
Matt stumbled back in surprise but only for a moment. His hands found your face, cupping your cheeks gently as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.
Both of you stepped, him forward and you back, his body pinning you against his desk, his arms moving around to hold you up against him. Your hands traveled up his chest and into his hair.
This was happening.
You pulled away, resting your forehead against his.
“This is happening,” you gasped, unable to stop yourself.
Matt just grinned. He gave you that ridiculous, intoxicating, devilish grin. And it melted you.
“Do you want it to keep happening?” He asked cheekily.
You didn’t answer and pulled him back to you.
#matt murdock x reader#daredevil#daredevil imagines#marvel daredevil#charlie cox#matt murdock#daredevil fluff
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Fight Club
Pairing: Matt Murdock x (AFAB)Reader (with platonic Frank Castle x Reader)
Summary: @hellskitchenswhore is killing it with the prompts lately. Per her request: Matt's freaking out thinking you might be cheating on him because for the last few weeks, you’ve been coming home smelling like Frank. What he doesn’t know is that you asked Frank to teach you how to fight and didn’t tell Matt.
Warnings: 18+/SMUT. No use of Y/N. Female/AFAB reader (use of terms like girlfriend and female anatomy.) Established relationship. Brief mention of an active shooter at an office, Frank and Matt using pet names like sweetheart, mentions and accusations of cheating but no actual cheating, Unprotected sex, Fingering, P in V, Creampie, and Possessiveness from our dear Matt. Sort of getting caught after the fact.
Notes: I started taking kickboxing like three weeks ago, so I like to pretend that qualifies me to know what I'm talking about (It doesn't lol). So apologizes if I got any of the terminology wrong. UPDATE DEC 2023: I wrote an alternate ending to this fic that ends in a threeway with Frank that you can read here
WC: 5,000
*I never give permission for my fics, manips, or any other original creation I post on this site to be copied, posted elsewhere, translated, or fed into any AI program. The only platform I currently post anything on is Tumblr. Thanks!*
“That’s it sweetheart, last round I promise.” Frank encourages you as you take swings at the bag in front of you.
You’ve been at this for at least an hour and your arms feel like jello. You can’t remember the last time you were breathing this hard that wasn’t from Matt bending you in half. Jumping directly into the Hudson would have kept you drier than the amount of sweat currently pouring down your face and exhausted body.
“Atta girl, atta girl!” Frank praises as you take your last few swings, arms too weak to make any real movement of the bag
“Alright, you’re getting the hang of it now. Few more sessions and you’ll be out there with Red every night.”
“Pfft I don’t know about that, Frank. I’m just trying to make sure I can protect myself is all.”
“So remind me again why you didn’t ask him to teach you this?”
It started last week. One of your favorite coworkers was going through a bitter divorce and her estranged husband decided to confront her at the office and pulled a gun. You heard two shots ring out from your desk and feared the worst - all the active shooter situations you'd seen on TV were happening live in your life. Fortunately, as you fled for safety, Jerry from accounting was able to disarm and tackle the guy before he could hurt anyone thanks to his black belt in Jiujitsu.
Even though the incident ended okay, it had spooked you enough to get yourself some defense classes, for all those times when your vigilante boyfriend was too far uptown to protect you at a moment’s notice and Jerry wasn’t around to save the day.
Matt was always overprotective of you and you hated to think how he’d react to the incident, so you hadn’t told him. When the story hit the news, you lied (via text so he couldn’t detect it) and said it happened on a different floor and you didn’t even notice.
You also didn’t tell him about your decision to learn self-defense. Matt was more than qualified to teach you, but for some reason, you just didn’t feel comfortable asking for his help with this. Maybe it was his propensity to throw himself into helping those he cared about, you especially, that gave you hesitation to give him another thing to prioritize over himself. Maybe it was just how good he was at fighting that made you not want to “be a beginner” in front of him (not that Matt would ever judge you about anything.)
In fairness to you, you hadn’t intended to learn it from his frenemy and former client, but you’d showed up at the boxing gym near your work and the gruff men inside intimidated you so much, you bolted out the door before signing up for a class, tears welling in your eyes when you quite literally bumped into Frank on the street.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, nodding towards the door of the boxing gym
“I thought… Look I want to learn how to fight. Or at least how to defend myself. This place is close to work but um… might not be the right fit for me.”
“Why don’t you just ask Red?”
“It’s a long story,” you replied with a sigh “but I really don’t want to ask him. Or for him to even know about it. So can you please not mention you saw me here or we had this conversation?”
“Okay, can I ask why not?”
“You can but I’m not gonna answer.”
Frank chuckled and shook his head
“Well if you want to learn to fight, this isn’t the best place. I know Vinny the owner and he’s a shit teacher. But if you want to learn for real, I’m happy to teach you.”
“What? Wait really? Wait, Frank you know how to fight?”
“Sweetheart, I was a Marine for over 15 years, ‘course I know how to fight.”
“And you’d do that for me?”
“Course. You’re Red's girl. What times’ he leave for his little night job?”
“9:00”
“Great, meet me here at 9:30. Tonight.”
And that was how you ended up here, collapsing on the gym mat beneath you with a groan.
“Not bad for your first time. We just gotta get you in the habit of resetting your hands after every hit, and you’ll be golden” Frank praises again
“Oh yeah, I forgot, always protect the face so I don’t end up lookin like you.” you jest
“Ouch” he feigns hurt with a smirk on his face “Red teach you to swing low like that?”
“Nah Castle, that’s all me. It’s part of why he loves me. Same time tomorrow?”
“Sure. See you then.”
By the time Matt returns home, you’re showered and in bed, sore muscles pulsing every time you twist and turn in your sleep. Between the smell of sweaty clothes in the hamper and the scent of your freshly washed skin rubbing against silk sheets, plus the heat radiating off your sore muscles as he crawls into bed silently beside you, Matt figures it out pretty quickly.
‘She started going back to the gym. Hmm. Have to ask her about that in the morning.’ he thinks as he drifts off beside you.
You awake in the morning to gentle hands rubbing at your back.
“Mmm morning Matty” you mumble, still pulling yourself out of sleep
“Morning sweetheart.”
“What are you doing?” you ask as he works a little lower down your spine
“Giving you a massage. I can tell you’re sore. When did you start going back to the gym?”
“Just yesterday. And you’re right I’m super sore. Thank you, this is a nice way to start my day.”
“Of course sweetheart. What gym did you go to? Did you have fun?” he inquires
His innocent prodding has you waking fully quickly, trying to cover your tracks without outright lying and getting caught.
“Oh this gym near work. Couple people in the office recommended it. And yeah I had fun.”
All truths.
“That’s nice. Mmmm do you want to start the coffee or shower first?” he asks, seemingly letting the subject go
Perfect.
As you rush around to get ready for work, Matt grabs the laundry hamper from the bathroom, walking it over to the washing machine. Your dirty workout clothes from the night before sit on top, now less potent that they have completely dried. But he can’t help but feel like something smells off.
Sure it smells like you - natural scent mixed with your fading sweat, but there’s something else. Something familiar. A very subtle hint of spiciness mixed with… is that gunpowder?
‘Weird’ Matt thinks to himself, but brushes it off a moment later, the smell not strong enough to really garner more than a passing thought.
But three times he does the laundry in a row, he smells it. It’s so subtle, he might not even give it another thought, but it’s just so damn familiar.
It takes another week for him to ask you about it.
“Hey sweetheart, you’ve been going to the gym a lot lately,” he mentions over dinner
“Mmmhmm. Yeah, can you feel my muscles growing? I’m feeling stronger.” you reply
“Yeah. What exactly are you doing at the gym? It’s really working.”
“Oh a little cardio, a little strength, you know…” you skirt around, being intentionally vague
“That’s good. Is it like a class or?”
“Um sort of. Just this guy at the gym, he’s been helping me. You know, walking me through the exercises.”
Also technically the truth.
“That’s good. Well, I’m glad you found something you like.”
‘Okay, so that guy must smell like this. She’s close enough to him in a warm sweaty gym, so there’s a little bit on her clothes. Makes sense.’ Matt thinks to himself. But he still can’t shake the feeling that that smell is so familiar.
Two weeks later, Matt is out on patrol when he hears a familiar heartbeat on the fire escape a few floors down from where he’s perched.
Frank.
“You just gonna sit there all night, listinin’ Red?” Frank asks
“Very funny Frank.” Matt says, hopping down to Frank’s level
“Haven’t seen you in a while” Matt comments
“Been busy. Madani’s been usin’ me more.”
“Oh don’t tell me you’re going legit Frank.”
“Not a shot in hell, Red. But gotta pay the bills somehow.”
And then a strong breeze blows. Frank’s signature blend of sweat, aftershave, and metallic mixed with gunpowder from all the weapons he handles overwhelms Matt’s nose. Matt cocks his head in confusion. It’s so damn familiar. But of course it is, it’s Frank. How many times has Matt been on a rooftop with him like this, bs-ing the night away while monitoring the city?
After catching up for a bit, they go their separate ways, the rest of Matt’s evening turning uneventful.
He returns home to you shortly after 3 am, your soft breathing as you sleep calms him as he strips off his suit.
You hadn’t met with Frank tonight. He said something about following a lead and you were perfectly fine with that, you needed an off day.
Matt curls up in bed beside you, resting his head on your back and falling asleep quickly.
The next night, Frank is really putting you through your paces and you swear you’re ready to collapse when he finally calls it for the night.
Per usual, Frank offers to walk you home when you’re done and for the first time since you started coming here, you accept the offer since you stayed a bit later than usual tonight. At least until you can make it to Hell’s Kitchen and within range of Matt.
You and Frank make small talk as you go and eventually, the chill of the autumn air has you shivering in your still-damp-from-sweat workout clothes.
“Here sweetheart,” Frank says with a lopsided smirk, slinging his worn jacket over your shoulders.
“Thank you Castle. Always a gentleman.”
“Course, ‘specially for Red’s girl.”
You make it to 35th and 10th, close enough to home and hand his jacket back to him, parting ways with a nod and a polite “goodnight.”
The later hour coupled with the particularly intense session has you collapsing into bed without even removing your shoes, let alone your gym clothes.
When Matt returns a few hours later, the smell hits him like a truck.
‘I swear to god Frank, if you’re bleeding on my couch again…’ Matt thinks to himself.
But when he enters the apartment the only heartbeat he can hear is yours. He inches slowly toward the bedroom and rolls the door open gently. He reaches down to feel the soft lycra of your leggings on your body, careful not to stir you from your slumber. The smell of your sweat clinging to your clothes fills his senses, way more potent than normal plus that other scent you’re bringing home from the gym. Matt pauses to wonder why he thought Frank was here but then it hits him.
Oh my god. The mystery smell from the gym you’ve been bringing home is Frank.
But how could you smell like…
And then the gears in his head start turning. And he feels like a goddamn idiot.
You had been going to the gym. But not to work out. You were cheating. With Frank of all people. And you’d made the critical error of not showering when you got home.
Matt begins to pace the apartment, rubbing at his chin as his thoughts move a million miles a minute about what to do.
Did he confront you? Did he confront Frank?! What should he even say?
The sun rises and he’s still pacing and contemplating when his alarm rings out. He shuts it off before it can wake you too. He needs more time to think about his next move. He gets ready for work quietly and slips out the door before you awake.
You find it odd you haven’t heard from Matt all day. When you woke up you saw his Devil suit in a heap in the living room and there was no damage to it or blood on it. So you knew he had come home and was relatively okay. But it was so odd for him to leave without a goodbye kiss or go this long in the day without so much as a text. But he had been busy with a heavy caseload lately. You finally break shortly after lunch and text him first.
“Hey Matty. Know you’re busy but I miss you and I love you. Dinner tonight?”
“Can’t. Working late. Don’t wait up.” He responds
That was… oddly curt. But again you figure he’s stressed and busy.
Matt on the other hand has been wracked with stress all day. It only took an hour of his constant pacing and fidgeting for Foggy to break and finally ask.
“Matt. What’s up?”
“I think… I think I’m being cheated on.” Matt confesses. He leaves the Frank part out of the equation, wanting Foggy to be as objective as possible about his response.
“What could possibly make you think that?”
“She’s been going to the gym like every night for a month now right when I leave for patrol and she came home last night smelling like… another man. And she’s been smelling like it a little the whole month but last night it was all over her”
“So did you ask her?”
“Well no but…”
“Matt you are literally a human lie detector and yet here you are jumping to conclusions instead of doing the rational thing and just asking her.”
And maybe Matt would have taken Foggy’s advice if he thought you were just cheating with your gym trainer. But this was Frank. And that made it all the more complicated.
Matt decides finally what he’s going to do. He’s going to follow you tonight, catch you in the act and confront both of you together.
Matt still hadn’t come home when you depart for your nightly workout session, but little did you know he’s there. Pacing on the roof, waiting for you to leave. As soon as he hears the lobby door shut behind you, he springs in to action, taking the stairs two at a time into the apartment and changing out of his lawyer suit and into his devil suit as quickly as possible, making sure not to lose your heartbeat now a block and a half away. He makes up for the lost distance quickly and is practically on top of you by the time you enter the gym.
“Hey Frank” you call out as you enter
“Hey. I’ll be over in a second.” he replies from the locker rooms
Matt crouches down by the side of the building, just close enough to the windows to hear everything going on inside.
You’re almost done wrapping your hands when Frank emerges from the locker room.
“Alright let’s start with our usual, then you can have a go at me again.”
“I don’t know Frank. You really wore me out last night. I woke up still in my clothes and shoes.”
Matt knew it. He fucking knew it.
“Tough shit sweetheart,” Frank responds with a chuckle. “And what did your boyfriend think about that huh? He got any idea what we’re doing here yet?”
“Honestly I don’t know. I didn’t see or hear from him at all today. Which is weird even for him. And no I don’t think he’s figured it out yet.”
“You’re gonna have to tell him eventually”
“No, I don’t”
“So what you’re just gonna keep sneakin’ around, becoming a prize fighter without him gettin’ suspicious? Shit even a regular guy would raise some alarm bells by now, but especially Red and all his … shit”
“Frank, I am not here trying to become a prize fighter. I’m just trying to get strong enough to defend myself if he’s not around to do it. That’s all”
Matt’s heart drops.
How could he possibly think you were cheating? And with Frank of all people. He felt like an idiot. Like a total asshole. Sure you had lied, well, technically withheld the truth and he’s sure you’ll explain why. And he’s hurt if you wanted to learn to fight that you didn’t come to him. But this was not nearly as egregious a stain on your relationship as he thought it was.
“I don’t know. Think you should tell him. Show him your moves. Shit, you’ve gotten a couple good hits on me these last few days I’m sure you could give Red a run for his money.”
“I am not fighting Matt, Francis.” You say with an eye roll
Matt listens for the next hour as Frank talks you through a few hitting drills, then the two of you sparring. Frank is clearly taking it easy on you, but Matt is still impressed by what he could tell of what you were doing. He absolutely would need to take you on to really gauge your skills.
Franks's phone rings out just as you’re cooling down with some stretches.
He answers and speaks for a few minutes.
“Alright sorry to jet out of here but Madani has somethin urgent for me. You good to get home alright?”
“Yeah, thanks Frank. See you tomorrow.”
Frank gives you a fist bump and then disappears through the front door. Matt uses the opportunity to sneak in just before the door slams closed behind Frank.
You’re sitting on the floor undoing your wraps as he finally speaks up.
“If you wanted to opportunity to hit Frank, I’m sure I could have arranged it some other way”
Your spine goes icy cold at the sound of the voice behind you.
“Matt… I” you stumble to explain.
“It’s okay sweetheart,” Matt says, hands up in surrender before reaching up to remove his mask
“What are you doing here?” You ask, ready for him to chew you out for your little secret.
“Alright if I’m honest, do you promise you’ll be honest?” He asks
“Yes.”
“I followed you here because I thought you were cheating. With Frank. And I know now that’s not what’s happening. And I’m sorry for not just asking you.” He confesses with a sigh
“Oh Matt. I’m so sorry that I did anything to make you think that. That’s not at all what’s happening here.”
“I know. Been listening all night so I know. But I have to know why. Why are you doing this and why didn’t you tell me? And Frank? Really?”
“It’s a long story. Can I tell you while we walk home?”
And so you do. By the time you make it home to your apartment, you’ve come clean about the incident at work and running into Frank and how he’d been coaching you the last few weeks, and why you were so hesitant to ask Matt to be the one to do it.
Matt is oddly quiet through your explanation but nods as you speak. He finally speaks up just as you’re unlocking the front door.
“I forgive you. And I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t ask me. But now that I know, I am curious…”
“You want to see how much I’ve learned?”
He nods enthusiastically
“Fine. I guess since now you know you can join us tomorrow. If you want.”
“Perfect, I’ll be there”
He tucks you in to bed with a gentle kiss before heading out on patrol again, no longer clouded by doubts about your relationship.
—
When you arrive at the gym the next night, Matt is already there, looking extra adorable in his gray sweatpants and messy hair.
It’s all so familiar to him - the buzz of the fluorescent lights, the smell of sweat and heat, the gym mat sticking beneath his bare feet with every step. Just like Fogwells when he was a kid. He feels at home here.
“Hey sweetheart” he greets you with a kiss
“Hey Matty” you can’t help but smile whenever you see him after a long day “Frank texted me, he’s running late, but um do you want to help me warm up?”
Matt’s face lights up with excitement. “Yes. Okay. What does Frank normally have you do?”
“Two rounds of jab crosses on the bag. Three minutes each.”
“Okay, have at it”
You wrap your hands and begin hitting the bag. Not even thirty seconds in, Matt speaks up.
“Woah woah woah. Frank has been letting you hit like this and not correcting your form?”
“Yes. Wait, what the hell is wrong with my form?”
“You’re too far away from the bag. I can hear your shoulder joint rubbing every time you jab, which means you’re over-extending that left arm. Makes you put way too much energy into each hit, you’re gonna wear yourself out way faster. Here. Step closer.”
Matt moves behind you to help you correct your position, then lets you take a few more punches.
“See? More power, less effort.”
“Yeah. Any other pointers?”
Matt places his hands on your shoulders and places his feet right beside yours, pressing his body tight against your back. You never thought of boxing as particularly erotic, especially not with Frank teaching you. But with Matt’s breath against your ear, you can’t help but feel a chill run down your spine straight to your core.
“Go ahead, gimme a few more, I want to feel how your body moves. See just what else Frank has been teaching you wrong.”
“Matt…” the words die on your lips. You want to speak up and defend how kind Frank has been these past few weeks to spend the time to teach you, but Matt’s sweet whisper of encouragement has you forgetting anything else but him.
“C’mon sweetheart, don’t get all shy on me. You hesitate like this for Frank?”
“N..no.” you stutter, then weakly throw out a few more punches
Matt chuckles, knowing just how much he’s winding you up with so little.
“Put a little more power behind them. Don’t let me being here hold you back.”
You try to do as he says and throw some real hits, but Matt is still pressed right against you.
God, his body is warm usually, but being flush behind you as you move and hit, he practically feels like white-hot iron against you. Your heart is thumping out of your chest, and it’s not just from the few minutes of warming up you’ve done. You know Matt can hear it and is going to play you like a fiddle. His own wicked form of punishment for not telling him about your training.
His hands drop from your shoulders, running down your back lightly and coming to rest on your hips. He plants a soft kiss right under your ear.
“You’ve been working hard. Maybe Frank does know what he’s doing.”
He places a second kiss a little lower down your neck.
“You throw any actual punches at him yet?” he asks
“A few. Landed some of them too.”
A third, fourth, and fifth kiss down your neck, working his way toward your shoulder. His stubble is coarse against your skin, sending goosebumps across your flesh, your toes curling into the squishy mat beneath you.
“Mmm that’s my girl.” he says, as he begins sucking on your neck, his right hand snaking around to your front, tickling at the top of your leggings.
“Matty” you chastise
“What?” he feigns ignorance
“Matthew. Do not start something you can’t finish. Frank will be here any minute.”
“You said he’d be late.”
“His text said ‘a few minutes’ and that was already several minutes ago.”
“Well I can’t hear his heartbeat yet, so we’ve got at least five.”
You want to protest more, you really do, but you just can’t resist Matt.
Laughing low, he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, his steady breath against your exposed skin a stark contrast to the growing labor of your exhales. You spread your legs a little wider. He takes the invitation and reaches his hand fully into your leggings, using a finger to circle your sensitive bud.
You throw your head back onto his chest with a moan, his name falling from your lips in a breathy whisper.
He continues to suck on your neck as works at your core, finally sliding a finger inside you, then another.
You reach forward to grab the boxing bag for stability, Matt’s touch causing you to writhe enough that you’re not sure you’re able to stay standing without it. As you thrash against him, he inhales deeply, a mix of your natural scent and your arousal consuming his lungs.
In order to get you exactly where he wants you, he keeps a quick pace, knowing he does not have a lot of time. His rhythm never falters, stroking you over and over in that perfect spongy spot inside you. It’s not long before you're coming apart with a cry of his name.
Just as your head stops spinning and you’re returning to earth, Matt is turning you around and connecting his lips with yours. So hungry to have you, he guides you back a few steps, never breaking his lips from yours, and pushes you against the wall behind you.
His kisses grow more and more desperate, sending an electric tingle down your spine, though that could also be because the wall behind you is made of mirrors and the glass is cool against the heated skin not protected by your sports bra.
As soon as you make contact with the wall, his hands are back on your hips, pushing your leggings and panties down in a heap on the sticky mat beneath you. His clothes soon follow.
You throw your leg up and around his hip, opening yourself to him. An offer he quickly accepts. A soft gasp simultaneously escapes both your lips, the relief between the two of you as he guides himself slowly into your wet and eager core until he’s fully sheathed inside you. Restless fingers reach down to wrap your other leg around him, now fully holding you in the air against the mirrored wall behind you.
He repeats the pace of his fingers only moments ago and slams into you harshly and quickly, over and over again, desperate to feel you release around him again, knowing Frank could appear at any moment.
God, your familiar warm heat is absolute perfection, he thinks as he continues to bury himself into you over and over again. You’re still incredibly worked up from your previous climax and it takes just a few thrusts for you to be close again. The way your body is clamping around him and tensing lets him know just how close to ecstasy you are again.
Matt leans forward and you can feel his quickening breath against your ear once more.
“Damnit sweetheart, you scared me so bad. Made me think I was sharing you with someone else.” he grunts as he continues to drive his hips against yours.
“No Matty. I’m yours. Only yours — oh God. I promise.” you whimper back, arching into him further.
“Good. But to make sure you don’t forget, I’m gonna cum inside you, right now and every single night before you leave. So I’m dripping out of you after every hit, every kick. No matter how much Frank trains you. So you remember exactly who. You. Belong to.” he growls lowly against your skin, pushing you even more firmly against the cool glass with every thrust.
“Yes. Please Matt — Fuck. I’m all yours. I promise. Please.”
He thrusts one more time before he cums with a rumble of your name, his arms tightening around you, holding you impossibly close as he releases inside you just as he promised.
As he grinds against you in just the right way to hit that perfect spot one more time, your own orgasm sweeps over you. Your nails dig into his back, holding on to him as you let go, his harsh thrusts now slowed just enough so he can keep the both of you upright.
He feels you release, causing a final low groan from him, slowing down his pace, as your molten pleasure fades away. Still consumed by him and the feel of him holding you close, you lean your head back to rest against the mirror behind you as you catch your breath. Just as you feel like fully slumping against him, he sets you down gently.
You don't even really register him pulling away from you until he speaks.
“Might want to put your pants back on. Frank’s a block away and I don’t think you want him to know how I warmed you up before he got here.”
You open your eyes and see that Matt is already dressed, a smirk painted across his face as he listens to you scramble to put your clothes on.
Just as you’re adjusting your leggings back in to place, Frank and his large frame enter the gym.
“Hey –” he pauses at the sight of you and Matt in front of him, both sweaty and still panting a little.
“Hmmm. Guess Red knows now.” Frank grumbles
But then his eyes go wide.
“You wanna tell me what that’s about?” he asks with a point of his finger.
You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks as you turn behind you to see what he’s asking about. The mirror is covered in smudges that look vaguely like the outline shape of your body.
“We don’t talk about what happens at fight club…” Matt jokes as you bury your face in your hands in embarrassment.
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#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#daredevil#frank castle#frank castle x reader#charlie cox#nmcu fic#mcu fic#daredevil fic#matt murdock x you#marvel daredevil#daredevil imagine
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Afterglow (Matt Murdock x Reader)
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a/n: another taylor swift song fic lmfao i just cannot help myself, this one is so angsty i almost felt bad for Matt just writing it (someone pls give that man a hug, he NEEDS one) also i feel so bad about not posting that i didnt even send this one to my beta reader i just posted it and hoped for the best lmfao
Summary: Matt and Reader have an argument that feels like it might be relationship-ending after Matt's hectic lifestyle as Daredevil catches up with him.
warnings: ANGST BRO SO MUCH ANGST, matty really just deserves the world, angry matt at the beginning, soft matt and foggy convo, matt doesn't know how to accept love, super soft matt at the end, some religious imagery i guess, happy ending
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I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue
Put you in jail for something you didn’t do
I pinned your hands behind your back, oh
Thought I had reason to attack, but no
Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves
Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there’s no us
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say
The door slammed behind Matt in a fitful rage, and he was so pissed off, so intense in his anger that he wanted to turn around and slam it again, just to lash out a second time. It was so unlike him to be this way, so unlike him to allow the festering wound that was his soul show itself so plainly, but it had been a long night, long year, long life and he was fucking tired.
And you. You. You. You. You’d been caught in the crossfire.
“Fuck.” Matt breathed, already regretting the argument that he’d started simply because he hadn’t been able to reel the Devil back in after a long night. The tight leash he held on the part of him that he hated, the part of him that you’d never seen because he’d hidden it so deep inside himself every night, was a ghost in his hands. The line between Matthew the person and Daredevil the vigilante had been blurring for months, but tonight was the first time he’d let it slip through the careful facade he’d been constructing around himself. He was a shattered window, ready to break at the slightest bit of pressure.
The cold sliced into Matt’s skin as he stepped through the doorway at the front of his building, a sobering chill of wind that triggered the memory of your eyes welling with tears. He’d been relentless in his anger, and what for? Because he had a bad night? Because he couldn’t save everyone, and somehow that was your fault?
Asshole is the word you’re looking for, Matthew.
Matt groaned and pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing Foggy’s number before he could talk himself out of it.
“It’s three in the morning, Matt.” Foggy said by way of greeting, voice still heavy with sleep. “You’re not somewhere dying are you?”
“Only metaphorically.” Matt replied, shuffling his feet. He lowered himself to sit on the stairs beneath him, huffing as his body settled against the concrete. The metal of the railing dug into his temple as he rested his head against it, an uncomfortable reminder that the only person to blame for this was himself.
“You okay?” Foggy’s tone had shifted from a sleepy annoyance to somewhat concerned.
Matt closed his eyes. He didn’t deserve the love he received from his friends.
“I’m-” He started, but cut himself off when he realized he had no idea what he was going to say. Was he okay? No, he didn’t think so.
“You’re kinda freaking me out here, man.”
“I fucked up, Foggy.” He deflated as he admitted it.
“With her?” Foggy pressed.
“With her. With everything.” Matt shrugged, blinking away the tears burning the back of his eyes. Your sudden return to his thoughts felt like whiplash, and he couldn’t catch his breath. “She deserves better than me.”
“Matt,” Foggy chided, and Matt could tell he was shaking his head, “Don’t say that. She loves you.”
“Maybe not anymore.” Matt knew how ridiculous and juvenile he sounded, but the Matthew-Murdock-party-of-one pity party was in full effect, and he was leaning into the sad corner of his being so aggressively he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.
“She loves you.” Foggy repeated. “I don’t think anything could change that. What happened?”
“I had a bad night and yelled at her. It was stupid and I feel like an ass-”
“An asshole.” Foggy finished, and Matt couldn’t stop the chuckle that followed this observation. “Listen, did you tell her any of this?”
“Not yet.” The longer Matt sat, the more he hated himself for leaving. The words he had shouted echoed in his mind. “She should just leave. I’m never going to be able to give her what she deserves.”
“What about what you deserve, Matt?” Foggy asked, heated in the defense of his very best friend, “You deserve to be loved, too.”
Matt sat with Foggy’s statement for a second, letting the love wash over him for the briefest moment. Is this what it’s like for the kind of people who can easily accept the love of others? His body felt warm and fuzzy, an unfamiliar but comforting sensation that had him rubbing the heel of his hand across his chest.
“I should go apologize and hope to God she’ll take me back.” Matt sighed.
“She will, Matt.” Foggy assured him. “She will.”
Matt returned the phone to his pocket and turned, heading back into the place that held his entire aching heart.
It's so excruciating to see you low
Just wanna lift you up and not let you go
This ultraviolet morning light below
Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh
I lived like an island, punished you with silence
Went off like sirens, just crying
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It’s on your face, don't walk away, I need to say
Hey, it's all me, in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
When Matt reentered the apartment, it had only been twenty minutes since he’d stormed out, but it had felt like hours. You were in the same place that he’d left you - curled up in a sitting position on the sofa - except now your cheeks were coated with salty tears that permeated the air around you. Matt tasted them on his tongue the second he opened the door, a twinge of pain shooting through his chest as he realized just how bad the situation was. You were so deep in thought, cycling through the words Matt had spat at you, that you hadn’t noticed his arrival.
“Petal?” Matt called softly, alerting you to his presence in the room. You startled, turning to look in his direction. The silence before you responded was deafening and anxiety inducing, something Matt had never handled well. He wrung his hands together and took a step closer to you. Finally, you spoke.
“You came back.”
Not a question, but not really a statement either. A simple observation that left Matt stumbling over his words.
“I uh…never really left. I was just downstairs.” He scratched the back of his neck. “On the steps out front. I didn’t go far.”
“I thought you weren’t coming back.”
Matt’s lip wobbled as he inhaled sharply and asked, “Do you want me to go?”
He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that question. He listened to your answer anyway. He would listen to any words you had to offer, even if they were words that might kill him.
“You said some terrible things, Matt.” You sniffled, sighing heavily as another wave of tears coated your cheeks. “You said ‘If you can’t handle this, I don’t think we should be together anymore.’ And the funny thing is, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be handling.”
“Petal, I-” Matt began, shaking his head.
“No, Matt.” Your voice had suddenly become very firm and very loud, all at once. Matt flinched. “I’m not finished.” You adjusted your body, leaning your head back against the sofa before continuing. “I don’t know who you are anymore. My Matty would never keep things from me or disappear for days at a time or yell at me. The man I fell in love with is missing, and I don’t know what to do to get him back.”
The hold Matt had on his tears was obliterated as you admitted your feelings to him. Warm tears fell down his face, every droplet an admission of guilt. You were right, of course. Matt hadn’t felt like himself in months, and instead of trying to get a grip on himself, he had been leaning into the suit every night, forcing his mind to focus on other things. He always took on the brunt of the pain in any situation - he’d been doing this his entire life - but he had not realized how much of that pain was being transferred to you every time he forgot himself.
“Baby, I’m- I can’t even say how sorry I am.” Matt sank to his knees in front of you, pleading. “You’re right about everything, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be good enough for you or come home to you after work like a normal boyfriend would and I’m sorry for the things I said. I never wanted to hurt you the way I did. I will never, ever, deserve your love.” He swallowed a sob as he admitted what he thought was the truest thing he’d ever said out loud. “Foggy told me I deserve love but I’ve thought and thought about it and I can’t imagine a world where your love will ever feel like anything but a gift to me.”
You sighed again, sniffling as you lifted your hand to cradle Matt’s wet cheek.
“I know I’m fucking it up. I’m sorry I can’t be more. This is all I have to offer, and I know it’s selfish to ask you to keep loving me but I can’t be without you. You’re all I have.”
“I don’t understand, Matty.” You shook your head, furrowing your brows.
“You’re the only thing that brings me home. And I don’t mean physically. You’re the only reason I can find my way back to myself. You remind me of the love the world is capable of. Not even Foggy can do that for me the way that you do. Can’t you see that you’re it for me? Without you, I am just a man walking hand in hand with the Devil. There is no point without you.”
“Matty.” You sighed, caressing his cheekbones as tears cascaded down his face.
Matt wasn’t sure what he wanted you to say. That he did deserve love, or maybe that you weren’t going to leave him after tonight was over, or maybe anything besides ‘I don’t love you anymore’.
“Don’t leave me.” He begged, barely above a whisper, so tired of the war raging in his mind. If there was anything he was capable of doing tonight, it was pleading with you for this. Beyond that, he was useless. “Don’t leave.”
“Will you lay with me?” You asked, and Matt nearly collapsed into your hold. It was not what he was expecting, but he would take it. The inevitable self-hatred and doubt about this moment echoed in the back of his mind, but he was ignoring it for once. All he wanted to do was lay with you, so that’s exactly what he did.
Tell me that you're still mine
Tell me that we'll be just fine
Even when I lose my mind
I need to say
Tell me that it's not my fault
Tell me that I'm all you want
Even when I break your heart
I need to say
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)
I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow
Matt was on the verge of tears again, lying next to you in the bed that you had shared with each other for so many nights. He was so afraid of losing this, losing you. He wasn’t entirely sure he would survive if you asked him to leave after this. He wasn’t entirely sure that mindset was healthy, either, but that didn’t stop him from contemplating it. He was here, and you were here, and if he was destined to live in this doubt forever, then at least he would die next to you.
Your tears had long dried up, but the ache deep inside you was palpable and overwhelming and he didn’t know what to do. The hand you had led him here with, the one that you still held, the only thing connecting your body to his was his safety blanket. This was what people called a safe space, he thought. For the first time in a long time, Matt began to silently pray.
He prayed for you, and he prayed for himself, and mostly, he prayed for love. He prayed that the night would last forever, so that he could lay next to you for the remainder of his life. He prayed for forgiveness, and begged for yours. He prayed for the strength it would take if you didn’t grant it to him. Because if you asked him to leave, he would. It would hurt and possibly - no, definitely - kill him, but he’d do it, because you deserved that, at least. The possibilities of the night were endless, and that was the scariest thing to Matt. Anything could happen.
“What are you thinking about?” You asked, lightly squeezing his hand.
“I’m praying.” He murmured, squeezing your hand back.
“About what?”
“About you.”
“Oh, Matty.”
The smile on your face, the steady thump of your elevated heart rate, felt like a win. Comfortable silence overtook the room, and you were so still for so long that anyone else might’ve thought you had fallen asleep, but Matt knew better. You were thinking, contemplating every word that had been shouted, pleaded, and begged tonight. All the while, Matt prepared himself for the worst.
“The sun’s coming up.” You murmured.
“Yeah?” It was all he could muster. Everything hurt, and he never wanted this moment to end.
“Yeah.” You swept your fingertips over his cheeks, following the path of the sun as it draped itself across both of your bodies.
Matt swallowed, opened his mouth to ask the dreaded question, and then closed it and swallowed again. The gentle caress of your fingers felt like a brand in his skin. Finally, in a thick voice he asked for the second time in a matter of hours, “Do you want me to go?”
“Oh, Matty.” You whispered, tears welling in your eyes, and Matt’s heart sank into the ground below him. He thought he could do this, but he couldn’t. He was just supposed to leave what you had built with him? After everything, he was just supposed to count his losses and move on? No fucking way. His breathing had picked up, and he was so focused on his pounding heart that he almost missed the rest of your sentence. “I never wanted you to go. I just wanted you to understand how lonely I’ve been without you. I’m upset with you, but I’ll always love you, and I’ll never be the one asking you to leave.”
Matt stopped breathing for a moment, soaking in the warm relief as it crashed through him. He didn’t have to go, and you loved him. You loved him. You loved him.
“Are you sure?” He forced himself to ask, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do.
You let out a small giggle and pressed your lips to his forehead before responding. “Of course I’m sure, Matty. But it has to change, okay? We can’t do this to each other again.”
Matt could hardly believe the words coming out of your mouth. He would do anything to keep you here, holding him, keeping him safe, loving him. Anything.
“I promise.” He murmured, grabbing at your face to pull it closer to his. “I love you.”
He pressed a million kisses into your face until you let out the melodic laugh that he felt he could get drunk on. He would do anything to hear that sound again, to be the one causing that sound. Anything.
-
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#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#matthew murdock#daredevil#daredevil x you#daredevil x reader#daredevil fluff#daredevil angst#charlie cox#nmcu#foggy nelson#marvel#marvel imagine#daredevil imagine#amhrosina
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Not in this Alone (part 1)
pairing: Frank Castle x Matt Murdock x fem!reader (Fratt x fem!reader)
summary: After a week of stressful, lonely days, your boyfriends take the time to comfort you.
warnings: swearing, brief descriptions of stressful events (items breaking, period symptoms, sickness, etc)
a/n: This is the first half of a comfort fic that I wrote for my love @madschiavelique when she was having a terrible week a bit ago. I hope that you all find comfort in its softness!
w/c: 2.6k
Dropping your bag on the floor, you yanked your shoes off and plodded directly to your bed, planting face down into the mattress with a groan. A floorboard creaked behind you, signaling another presence, but your fatigue outweighed the anxiety you felt.
“If you’re here to kill me, can you do it in the bathtub? This is a new mattress.” Your words were muffled by the layers of fabric over your face.
The intruder chuckled deeply, “Not here to kill ya, sweetheart.”
“Frankie?” You turned your face towards his gravelly voice, keeping the rest of your body pinned to the bed. It had been over a week since you’d seen him—and you weren’t expecting him to be home this soon—but there he was, in all his broad-shouldered glory. Dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, that was definitely not his given the way it stretched over his sculpted abdomen. He looked cozy and soft—clearly having been home for a few hours.
“Hiya, doll. Your day was that good, huh?” He nodded down to your horizontal position, making you groan and turn your face back into the mattress. Huffing a laugh, he sat down beside you, stroking a large hand over your back. “Today’s your long day, ain’t that right?”
Nodding tiredly, you hummed in appreciation as he rubbed circles into your tense shoulders. Frank pursed his lips, thinking for a moment before poking you in the side gently. “Get up for a sec, sweet girl. Let’s get ya into some comfier clothes.”
Gluing your arms around your sides protectively, you whined, not lifting your torso from the bed. Undeterred, Frank pinched your hip before sliding his hand around your smaller figure and flipping you upright into his lap. Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he smirked at your exaggerated pout, “There’s my girl.”
Shuffling out from underneath you, Frank planted another kiss on your cheek before standing to grab you a sweatshirt rather than the more presentable clothes you had on. Collapsing backward against the pillows, you stared blankly at the ceiling as you waited for Frank to return. After a grueling 11 hour day of traveling to and from your various art classes, you didn’t have the energy to do much else. On top of the sheer amount of time you’d been in public today, you’d been balancing a slew of intense bad luck–from your computer breaking to coming down with a cold. It had not been your week, and you’d been on your own to deal with most of it.
You knew that it wasn’t either of your partners’ faults, just incredibly terrible timing, but Matt had been sleeping at his own apartment all week after late nights at the office, and Frank had been out of town. The past few days had pushed you almost to your breaking point, but nothing actually terrible had happened, so you didn’t feel comfortable asking either of them to come to your aid. You’d been living a cycle of dosing up on medicine, going to class, coming home, and passing out–which was what you planned on doing before Frank interrupted you.
As if your thoughts had summoned him, he padded back over with two garments in hand. He held up one of his own sweaters and Matt’s favorite Columbia crewneck. “Ok, doll, I wasn’t sure which you’d want, but…hey, what’s wrong?”
A drop of moisture trailed down your cheek and you hastily wiped it away. Overly preoccupied with your own thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed the familiar prickle of tears in your eyes. “Nothing, Frank, just tired.” You sniffled, giving him an unconvincingly tiny smile.
Narrowing his eyes, Frank set the clothes aside, drawing you closer to him as if you weighed nothing. Draping you over his lap and holding you close, he studied you for a moment before cradling your cheek in one of his massive, calloused hands. “You sure?”
You shrugged, nuzzling into the cool touch. “It's just been a rough week, nothing to worry you or Matt about.” A part of you felt relieved that it was Frank in front of you rather than Matt, who would have surely called you out for lying. Though your treacherous emotions might have given you away regardless, given that salty tears continued to roll down your cheeks as Frank gently stroked the droplets off of your face.
“I know I ain't a genius, but I can tell when you're hurtin’, doll. Talk to me?” His voice was as gravelly as ever, but his deep brown eyes pleaded with you, encouraging you to be honest about your woes.
With another half-hearted shrug, you averted your gaze, focusing on your lap rather than your concerned boyfriend. “I dunno, it's been a long week, Frankie. I started my classes again, which is fine, but my PC broke when I was trying to finish up my assignments so I had to frantically email my professors to make arrangements. And then I started my period, and then I got sick, and then all these little things started piling up like the printer not working or my backpack breaking or my train being delayed and I just—” Your voice cut out as Frank pulled you into a tight embrace, pressing kisses against your hairline as more tears formed along your waterline.
“Sweetheart, you shoulda called me. Or Red. You been dealin' with all this on your own?” His lips brushed over your forehead as he spoke. At your lack of response, he sighed. “Honey, we've talked about this.”
“I know, I know, but I didn't want to bother either of you with something so small.” You murmured against him, shivering as he rubbed your lower back.
“You're not a bother, doll. Not now, not ever.” Frank tenderly rested his forehead against yours, touching your lips to his as he cradled the back of your head. “Here, why don't you put on my sweater?”
Pulling back from the embrace, Frank tapped your arms, waiting patiently for you to lift your arms so he could remove your top and bra. After placing a soft kiss to your chest, he slipped the soft fleece over your head and arms, nodding in satisfaction at his handiwork.
“Better?” He held your chin between his pointer finger and thumb, lips quirked up in his signature barely-there smile.
With a nod, you snuggled back into his embrace, sighing appreciatively when his fingers carded through your hair.
“Glad to hear it, sweet girl. Let’s get you bundled up and we can order somethin’ to eat, yah?”
Nodding again, you let him peel back the duvet before crawling off his lap and underneath the covers with trembling limbs. Sinking into the pillowy mattress, you sighed in relief—the exhaustion and stress of the past week sparking a deep ache in your bones.
“Where do ya want me, babygirl?” Frank’s voice broke through your sleepy haze and you smiled despite your foul mood. Flopping onto your back, you made a grabby gesture at him.
Chuckling quietly, Frank raised an eyebrow. “On top of ya? You’ll suffocate.”
Pouting, you repeated the hand motions. Your throat was aflame after crying because of the stupid virus you’d picked up, leaving you hesitant to open your mouth again—but you wanted a Frank-shaped weighted blanket immediately to soothe your aches and pains.
“Ok, doll, I won’t argue with ya after the shit week you’ve had. But promise me you’ll tap out if ya can’t breathe.” He waited for your eager nod before clambering on top of you and clumsily settling down.
His body was tense as he held himself a few millimeters above your body, clearly still worried about crushing you. That simply wouldn’t do. Bringing your hands around his waist, you began kneading his back and shoulders in the way you knew he loved.
Frank was fairly easy to please. A few well-placed touches to his upper back and he was putty in your hands. Running a single nail up his spine beneath his shirt, your lips broke into a grin at his deep, satisfied rumble. “Thought I was s’posed to be takin’ care of you.” He murmured, mashing his face against your neck.
“You are. Just wanted you to relax.” You murmured, sleep tugging at your consciousness after the immense amount of energy you’d spent during your day of classes. Your voice must have revealed how desperately you needed a nap because Frank’s body shuddered with a laugh.
“Sleep, sweetheart. I gotcha now.”
Sandwiched between the mattress and the warm weight of your boyfriend, you let sleep drag you under.
A thundering rumble sounded in your stomach, the vibrations breaking you out of a peaceful slumber. Groaning, you clenched your arms around your waist, hoping the pressure would cause the intense hunger pangs to fade. During your impromptu nap, your delightfully warm, boyfriend-shaped weighted blanket had been replaced by the duvet. Eyes still closed, you reached across the bed, groping the sheets in an attempt to find your partner and drag him closer to you, but you were unsuccessful. Whining miserably, you opened one eye, wincing at the bright rays of the setting sun temporarily blinded you.
The room was, upsettingly, empty. No grumpy-yet-adorable man to be found. Coughing pitifully, you whimpered, hands clenching around the blankets, as if they would bring you comfort like Frank had. Had your interaction this afternoon been a dream? Were you alone all along?
A drop of saline rolled down your face and splashed onto the pillow, the moisture cool against your warm skin. Sniffling feebly, you shut your eyes again, praying that sleep would take you before you could wallow in your loneliness for too long.
“Sweetheart?” Wiping your eyes, you glanced to the doorway to find the source of the voice, spirits lifting when you saw two beautiful men staring back at you, brows puckered in concern.
They were by your side in an instant; Matt sat at the edge of the bed next to your pillows and Frank crawled into bed beside you, kissing your forehead when you immediately latched onto him. Matt frowned, running a hand over your arm before sliding into a horizontal position at your back.
Their warmth was divine. Four burly arms wrapped around you, tangling you between your two partners. Matt’s nose brushed your nape as Frank hooked his chin over your head, guiding your face into the junction of his neck and shoulder. Your entire body sagged in relief, so grateful to be surrounded by the two men who loved you more than you could comprehend, so happy that you weren’t alone in your anguish any longer.
“You ok, my love?” Matt’s gentle, unexpected question pushed your delicate constitution into emotional turmoil.
A choked cry ran through your body with a tremor. Barrier broken, your body was suddenly wracked with vicious sobs, interspersed with weak coughs and sniffles.
The muscular walls around you compressed as your partners pressed impossibly closer, cooing in sympathy as you bawled.
“Hey, you’re ok, doll. You’re ok.” Frank’s dulcet rumble shook his chest beneath your ear.
“That’s it, darling. We’re here now.” Matt spoke quietly, kissing the shell of your ear when he finished. His large hand splayed over your stomach, rubbing gentle circles as you trembled. Frank’s hand mirrored the motion along your back.
The pair of them continued caressing you tenderly as your cries gradually halted. Drawing in a deep, hiccuping breath, you wiped your eyes, a rush of embarrassment flooding your body.
“‘M sorry.” You whispered, blinking back a new wave of ashamed tears.
“Nothin’ to be sorry for, babygirl.” Frank promised.
“After the week you had, I don’t blame you.” Matt sighed, placing a line of kisses down your neck. “Next time you’re this miserable, pretty girl, give me a call, ok? I’ll come check up on you at the very least. I don’t want you at home alone when you’re this upset.”
“I didn’t know if I could ask you to come over.” You explained shakily.
“Oh, love,” Matt sounded almost mournful, hugging you tightly from behind. “Always. I’ll always come for you.”
You nodded, a few lingering tears slipping down your cheeks.
“You’re a bit feverish, darling. Are you feeling ok?” Matt’s voice was tight with worry.
Shrugging timidly, you sighed, burrowing further into the cocoon of limbs you were wrapped in. “‘M ok. Better now.”
Frank huffed out a laugh, kissing the crown of your head. “Forgot to mention, she’s got a cold.”
“On top of everything else? You poor thing.” Matt crooned, running a knuckle over your cheek comfortingly.
“It’s nothing.” You assured them, because it really was the least of your worries right now, with all of your impending assignments and broken equipment.
Your loves seemed unconvinced, but they didn’t say anything more on the subject. Instead, Frank switched gears. “I’m sorry I left ya, doll. I ran to pick up dinner and got stuck talking to this one,” He gave Matt’s arm a shove, “In the living room.”
“You started talking to me!” Matt argued with a bright chuckle.
“You wish, Red. I was tryin’ to get back to my girl and you were blabberin’ on about court.”
”YOU asked ME how my day was!“
”Out of politeness, and you went way beyond the one word answer I was hoping for.“
”Well, excuse ME for thinking my partner wanted to hear about my day.“
The two continued bickering, their dramatic inhales expanding their chests, pushing you around like the bellows of an accordion. It could have been annoying, being jostled by their argument, but each swell of muscle reminded you of their presence, soothing your nerves.
You let your limbs go slack, your body bouncing between the two sturdy frames surrounding you as if you were a ping pong ball. Smiling happily, you let their rising voices wash over you as you began to nod off again.
”You alright, sweetheart?“ Frank's question startled you awake and you were unsure of how much time had passed. ”Ya got quiet on us.“
”'M fine. Sleepy.“ You responded, basking in the soft touches that you were once again bombarded with.
Matt chuckled against your neck. “That makes sense, my darling girl. You can rest here with me while Frank gets the pizza.”
You could practically hear Frank's resounding eye roll at Matt's demanding tone, but you were more interested in the promise of food. “Pizza?” You asked, hopefully.
“Yah, doll. Pizza. From your favorite place. Thought you deserved somethin' tasty after everythin' you had to deal with this week.” Frank kissed the tip of your nose, sliding out of your embrace and off the bed. “I'll be right back with it, ok?”
“Mmmkay.” You yawned, making both men smile. Matt carefully maneuvered your body so that you were propped against his chest, sitting up ever so slightly.
“There we go, pretty girl. How's that?” His lips tickled your forehead as he spoke and you giggled.
“Tickling me, Matty.” You whispered, tilting into his grasp with a sigh.
“Thought you were s'posed to be helpin' her rest.” Frank remarked from the doorway, pizza box balanced precariously as he wolfed down a slice.
Matt scoffed, “And I thought that pizza was for her.”
Shrugging, Frank smirked at his boyfriend. ”It's my tip. For the delivery.“
Matt snorted in response, taking the box from Frank so he could sit behind you.
”Let's get some food into ya, doll. Then you can sleep as much as ya want, ok?“
The rest of the night was spent laying on a firm chest as the boys fed you slices of your favorite pizza, eventually falling asleep blanketed by their embrace.
Admiring your beautiful face, your expression lax with sleep, Frank spoke as lowly as possible to avoid waking you.
”We have some work to do, Red. You ok handlin' things here if I go out tomorrow?“
”Absolutely,“ Matt confirmed. ”It shouldn't take us long.“
”Nah, but it'll make her day.“
”And that's what's important.“ Matt smiled, kissing Frank's arm that was draped across the 3 of you.
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock#daredevil#frank castle#charlie cox#my writing#marvel#matt murdock x you#frank castle x reader#the punisher#fratt#fratt x reader#frank castle x you#frank castle angst#frank castle fanfiction#frank castle imagine#frank castle x female reader#frank castle x matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x fem!reader#matt murdock x frank castle x reader#matt murdock x reader x frank castle#frank castle x reader x matt murdock#marvel daredevil#daredevil fanfic#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fic#daredevil netflix#daredevil mcu#daredevil x you#daredevil x reader
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Devilish Worries and Bodies
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F (afab) reader
Word count: 3.3K
Warning/note: 18 + MDNI, mentions of anxiety/mental health/worries, and smutty smut smut! P in V intercourse. Some fluff. No description physical description of reader other than afab. Not proofread! Please validate me and this self-indulgent fic, sad girl era is thriving.
************************************************************************
Matt had already come home after a long day of fighting for justice through the legal, sophisticated, respectable way of the courts as the good samaritan lawyer for the voiceless and defenceless of Hell’s Kitchen. And then endured a long night of fighting for justice through the illegal, frowned-upon way of his vigilante persona, Daredevil. He’d come home, you’d helped him clean up the couple of cuts he had and he’d gone to bed now. He was sleeping peacefully, he looked like an angel as his eyes were closed and no worries were etched into his face.
He had been in a deep slumber by the time you left the bed, he was yet to notice. You hadn’t been able to sleep at all, and it wasn’t his fault that that was the case. You were now sitting on the sofa in the living room that felt even greyer and colder than usual. Everything felt so cold, you almost wondered if your vision was acting up. You just needed some rain outside and you’d be in Catherine Hardwicke’s blue-green-tinted world of Twilight.
You had a glass of water in your hands that was now room-temperature because you’d been sitting there so long. Holding it. Thinking. Thinking about just tipping the glass of water out onto yourself, because why not? Then that image would replay over and over. Then you’d sip from it. Somehow. Lower it. Back to holding and then back to thinking. It was still pretty full at this stage.
Staring out the window into the numerous lights that appeared to float mid-air, parallel to the sky at different points. You couldn’t see any stars, you hated that. At least if there were stars you’d have some luck of counting them, maybe trying to name some of them, in an attempt of some distraction technique you told yourself that a normal person could do. Then you thought a normal person probably wouldn’t even to do this. The voice in your head that said it, was mean, it was the kind of a high school bully which made you feel even worse. You let out a deep sigh and choke on a little sob that you didn’t know had been wanting to come out.
That’s the noise that wakes Matt up, he stretches out in the bed you share as he lets out a quiet but deep yawn as he tiredly rubs his eye. He moves a hand through his sleep-toussled hair as he immediately realises that you’re not in bed with him. He sighs as he focuses on the elevated heartbeat of yours he can hear drumming along further in the apartment. He immediately knows something is up, when he’d originally come home he thought something might’ve been bothering you as you seemed slightly detached but he’d been able to write it off as you just being tired because it was extremely late when he’d come home after a patrol. He couldn’t write this off as early hours fatigue though. He knew you, down to the core, even when you didn’t want to be perceived.
Matt gets up and slowly walks out of the bedroom with gentle footsteps, he could’ve been a ballerina in another lifetime. He’s so quiet with his movement after years of practice that you don’t notice he’s out of bed until he’s standing just a few steps away from the couch.
It’s when you get the feeling of goosebumps on the back of your neck and that feeling that somebody is watching you that you start to wonder. You’re not sure though if it’s just depressed paranoia that makes you feel like somebody is watching, Matt had absolutely passed out, he should be in a deep sleep still you think. But you try to slow your breathing and not given into the urge to look and further panic, but you think that if someone was behind you it’s better to look and know that there is or that you’re not just feeling depressed but also paranoid.
With a sigh after a sharp inhale you slowly turn your head and look, you see Matt standing there. He’s just a couple of steps away from you, he’s facing you and well… he’s not just facing you, he’s analysing you. You look at him with tears in your eyes as you know he’s doing a full scan of your senses.
Matt steps closer immediately and sits on the sofa right next to you as the first tear has just dropped. You’re not sure if it’s because he can hear the tear dropping out of your tear duct to run down your cheek, or if it’s because he can smell the extra stress hormones or something in these emotional tears.
“I thought you were asleep.” You whisper hoarsely, almost feeling ashamed at this scene happening.
“I was.” He says gently as he raises his hand to your cheek and then he gently rubs your cheek, wiping up the few tears had already shed.
“I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m sorry-” Now it’s guilt as well.
“Don’t apologise.” He quickly cuts you off in a gentle tone.
He’s caring but he says it so nonchalantly, like this is normal. He’d spent a day working with clients, then he’d had a violent patrol and now you having a mini-breakdown interrupted his sleep. You felt bad and you knew that maybe you shouldn’t because you’re a human and you’re entitled to a cry and love and understanding. And all those things. But brains aren’t logical, and they sure as hell aren’t when you’re going through the emotions.
You sigh as you look at his face, seeing the compassion and adoration.
“Are you going to talk to me, beautiful?” He whispers with a gentle, playful smile. He’s trying to ease this. Diffuse the anxiety.
“It’s just overwhelming. There’s a lot of mental noise and I’m struggling to not spiral-because well I’m already spiralling and nothing feels good. I’m not good. I’m just not good.” You spit out.
He quickly pulls you into his arms and your face is pressed against his warm bare chest. You can’t help but let out a soft sigh of relief and bury your head further into his chest. It’s so comforting and even when you’re a mess, he still somehow knows how to comfort you.
“Maybe you’re not good, and you’re just great instead.” He whispers as he starts to caress your back gently, he seems to be almost tracing an invisible pattern as he does. “That’s how I feel about you. Other days you may be good. It’s been bad before, it’s been good before. It can feel good again, honey. And it will.”
You sigh and tilt your head to look at him as you move more into his lap and adjust yourself to be more physically comfortable. You trust him, you love him, you believe him but you’re not sure if you believe him more than the disbelief you have in yourself.
Matt seems to sense this hesitation in you. “Five things you see?” He asks softly as his head is tilted to face you, he’s focusing on you because you’re his whole world.
“Um…” You inhale and start to look around as you think. “Your face…” You say and almost chuckle, he smiles that charming grin widely and chuckles. “Good, what else.”
You look around and think. “The window… The couch… that plant in the ugly pot my cousin gave us.” You say and you both smile at that. You had to describe in detail the absolute atrocity of the pot to Matt when had been gifted to you both and it was now a bit in your relationship.
“Good, good, not so good.” He chuckles with the smile that’s slowly distracting you from your worries. “One more thing.”
“Um, the light.” You say quietly.
“Four things you can feel.” He says and you can’t help but chuckle.
“Well, you, I guess, and four different parts of you.” You say as you look at him as your cheeks heat up.
“Sure, I’ll give you that one.” He says playfully. “Do I feel good?” He then asks teasingly. It makes you roll your eyes and chuckle.
“Yeah.”
“So something feels good.” He says with a proud smirk.
“Don’t use my words back at me, like that.” You say as you watch him smile.
“Mm, don’t say them then, pretty thing.” He says proudly and he chuckles and kisses your lips softly with a little peck. “Now should I keep going with the grounding and distraction technique?”
“I don’t know-”
“Why, are you in your body and out of your head enough?” He asks with a smirk as he caresses your back.
“Maybe. You’re pretty good at that.” You say, he is. He’s so good at reassuring you and bringing you back to Planet Earth and away from the galaxy of overthinking and mental black holes.
You lean against him and press a soft gentle kiss to his collarbone as he’s so close to you. All of him is, he’s enveloping you. He lets out a quiet little groan at that, that he tries to muffle but you catch it. You look up at him and bite your lip.
You move slightly and caress his strong arms gently.
“Honey, are you sure? You’re… Well you’ve been upset…” He says softly. He means it.
“Yeah, but I’m feeling better now. And maybe the dopamine and oxytocin is just what I need.” You say matter of factly but still a little anxiously.
“Oh really?” He cocks his head slightly and there’s a devilish grin on his face but his eyes are filled with love and adoration.
“Yes really.” You smiled softly as you looked up at him, you really loved him and you felt safe with him. Matt started to run his thumb along your jaw and down your throat gently.
You felt your cheeks heat up more and then you trailed your hand down his chest, his stomach, being careful to avoid any visible cuts or bruises on his pale skin. Your hand made it’s way down to palm him over his boxers. You watched his face carefully, his cheeks started to tinge with a blush and he smiled.
“Mm, no.” He said with a smirk and then he quickly flipped you carefully and gently so you were now lying on your back on the couch while his hand was firmly on your waist as he looked down. You sharply gasped as this happened but then let out a giggle which just made his smirk grow ten times more.
Matt lowered himself, caressing your waist gently and then running his hand down to your thigh and up again slowly, your breath started to slow in anticipation as you bit your lip, he was paying attention to your breathing and then he tugged your sleep bottoms down.
Your cheeks heated up more at that as you looked down at him. He was completely focused on you now as his fingers danced around your inner thigh, spelling out invisible love letters and filth on your sensitive skin as you gasped at each touch. For a man with a moniker that had the word ‘devil’ in it, he sure was heaven of a man.
Matt started to kiss your thighs, as his fingers moved up, he then paused his kisses as he finally travelled across to your vulva and ran a single finger through your folds. It triggered an automatic soft moan that made him smirk for a moment as he then gently spread your folds.
His finger starts to travel more, he teases your hole with his index finger, circling it and almost going in for you to swallow him up but never quite, you feel your core clench up at this and don’t even realise that you’re holding your breath, waiting for him. Waiting for more. He keeps exploring, teasing, and pulling out soft moans and groans of anticipation from you, he starts to slowly insert his finger which makes you gasp and then he pulls it out. He brings the finger to his mouth and sucks on it, tasting your juices.
You gasp at this and watch him, you’d been watching him the whole time but now your eyes are absolutely glued to him. He then brings his finger mixed with your juices and his saliva to that sweet, sweet, bundle of nerves that’s craving his touch. He starts to circle it slowly in a clockwise motion, applying a little more pressure.
“You know, that tasted pretty good.” He says. He says it so confidently, the nature of his tones words, and what’s happening makes your cheeks heat up more as you let out some soft moans. “I should probably try it straight from the source, that’s what I need to do, isn’t it?”
“Oh Matt…” You can’t help but feel like you’re going to explode just from his words. But he’s already dived in.
Matt kisses along your vulva as he inserts his finger into your hole, lightly, almost teasingly. The kisses get closer and then he starts to lick. You’re almost squirming a little now, it feels so good, he’s not even at your clitoris yet, but his mouth and fingers is the start of an overwhelming heaven and you know that. You let out a loud whine and as you squirm, he moves his free hand to firmly hold your thigh, keeping you in place and he groans against you. The vibration of that is absolutely perfectly and you bite your lip, trying not to cry out, as you feel your eyes close as he licks your folds while pumping the tips of his index and now middle finger out.
After a loud whine he smirks and then moves his mouth to the sweet spot as he keeps lightly fingering you, he licks your bundles of nerves, slowly, almost painfully so, circling it with his tongue and then you feel him kissing it and then he starts to lightly suck on your clitoris. You whine out at that, desperately so, as you claw the side of the couch and your eyes start to roll back. He hums against your clitoris, he’s so perfect and he knows that you love that so much. It always feels so damn good and it does right now. The vibration of that humming perfectly gets you off every time and sends pleasure right from your core right down to your feet and up to your head.
Matt keeps humming, well aware of what it does to you, and hungrily sucks on your clitoris, like his life depends on bringing you to orgasm, that he is a man dying of a thirst that only tour sweet juices can quench, that your release will be his salvation. He keeps sucking and you feel your eyes roll back so much and you’re moaning so loudly as your back arches, he’s taking you to the peak and you can’t hold it back anymore. You whine out and grip the sofa more as he firmly holds your thigh, his fingers digging in as his mouth brings you to an overwhelming and incredible orgasm.
“Oh Matt!” You whine out as the pleasure from it floods you. He keeps sucking and licking, making sure he gets each last drop and makes the most of your taste that he’s obsessed with and needs. He slows down after your release as you pant quickly you can’t help but smile and as you look down and see his face move away, his chin and mouth is wet but his lips are curled up in a smile.
“You taste sweeter than anything I could ever dream of wanting.” He says as he caresses your thigh, there’s a slight flush in his face as he pants a little. Your cheeks heat up more at his words and as you watch him move.
Matt takes his boxers off and then quickly kneels on the couch, spreading your legs and you see his thick member aroused and hungry. He’s looking at you as moves closer, holding it and then you move your hand down, feeling it and the precum that’s already dripping. You help him line himself up.
Matt immediately thrusts in, he bottoms out quickly, you sharply inhale and he lets out a loud, perfect groan that’s music to your ears.
“Absolutely perfect every time.” He whispers and then he slowly starts to move as his hand moves up your stomach and to your chest as he holds onto a breast while his other hand is planted onto the sofa to steady himself as he moves.
You feel yourself clenching more around him with each thrust, his rhythm is steady but quick and you’re already so sensitive after the mindblowing orgasm he just gave you. Matt groans as his pace increases while he thrusts into you. You can’t help but whine out as he squeezes your breast and grunts out while moving.
Matt then moves so his body is flushed against you, chest to chest, he puts his arm under your head, almost cuddling you closer to him as his hips start to move ten times faster.
“Oh Matt, fuck…oh god…” You whine out loudly as he moves quickly and you’re so physically overwhelmed. He smiles at your reaction and groans into your ear, pressing his lips right against you to kiss your hair and moan into it as he fucks you like his life depends on it.
His hips are moving so quickly and it completely contrasts to how the way he’s holding you is almost so gentle. You wrap your arms around his back, almost weakly and then start to scratch his toned back as the thrusts become deeper and deeper. You feel so full.
“So perfect, so beautiful. I love you.” He groans into his ear as he keeps pounding into you. He’s a man in love and one that craves your body. He’s absolutely obsessed. “Your pussy is always so needy. I love it.” He groans into your ear as the thrusts become faster.
“I love… I love you… t-too…” You whimper out as he keeps thrusting. You bury your head into the crook of his neck as he keeps going, he’s squeezing you tighter. “I love you s-so-so much…” You feel his hips starting to sputter as the rhythm breaks up a little. He’s still thrusting quickly into you but he’s getting close.
“You feel so good, I’m not gonna last long beautiful.” He moans into your ear as he holds you tighter and keeps thrusting into you. You nod against his shoulder and neck, you knew this, and you have no issue with it.
You dig your nails into his back and scratch him, goosebumps run along his skin at your touch and his breath changes for a moment as his body trembles slightly and he gives one last thrust as he then releases. He groans out and you look up at him smiling and biting your lip, he always looked so handsome when he finished and he made the sweetest noises.
He groans and opens his eyes slowly, he looks at you and then immediately kisses you on the lips lovingly and comfortingly. He pants against your soft lips as he rests them there after the kiss. You run your fingers through his dark hair that now has beads of sweat from this exertion. This is peaceful, he loves you and you love him. You’re perceived, and somehow, that’s okay with Matt.
After a moment he kisses you again and then he carries you to bed, he’s your loving, protective big spoon as your mind finally quietens down and you get to enjoy a deep sleep next to your handsome devil.
#matt murdock#matt murdock fic#matt murdock smut#daredevil#netflix daredevil#daredevil smut#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock fanfic#matt murdock x f reader#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x you#daredevil x reader#daredevil fanfiction#daredevil fanfic#charlie cox daredevil#charlie cox#charlie cox fanfiction#charlie cox characters#charlie cox fandom#daredevil fandom#marvel daredevil#matt murdock fluff#daredevil fluff#chaithetics
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Back again for Bullying Matt Murdock Hours!
Hi I'm Frank, this is my boyfriend Matt Murderdock and this is his girlfriend, Elektra, who also had murder but it's in her personality, not her last name
OP credit: gayarsonist
#matt murdock#daredevil#the punisher#elektra#matthew murdock#netflix's daredevil#marvel's daredevil#marvel's defenders#marvel's the punisher#mcu#marvel#mcu meme#daredevil meme#frank castle#elektra natchios#charlie cox#jon bernthal#elektra x matt#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock imagine#daredevil x reader#daredevil imagine#the punisher imagine#the punisher x reader#frank castle x reader#the chaste#the hand#nyc#hells kitchen#the punisher meme
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A Whole Latte Love to Give 🍁 (Matt Murdock x Reader)
Description: You hate running late to work as it means you don't have time to stop for coffee - and what's worse, it's your favourite coffee season too.
A/N: It's Autumn and I'm a coffee addict so this felt right 😅 In fact, if anyone brings me coffee in the morning they are automatically my favourite for life 💕
Warnings: Swearing, references to smut, I think that's it.
Masterlist
You hated running late.
It was frustrating and meant you had to sprint to make sure you made it to the subway on time to get across town to your office. You’d also then end up arriving with your hair all over the place, out of breath, and normally dripping with an uncomfortable amount of sweat.
That alone would have been bad but when your boyfriend/boss had the super nose of a blood hound, it actually made you want to curl up into a ball and melt into the carpet.
Needless to say, you were having one of those days today. The alarm hadn’t gone off and you had barely had enough time to put a comb through your hair, let alone grab some form of breakfast, or more importantly, coffee.
You were embarrassed to admit how heavily you’d come to rely on the caffeinated beverage but honestly? It was all that kept you running most days. Besides, this was New York. People here were used to drinking it like it was water - which is to say you were struggling by the time you made it up the stairs to Nelson & Murdock. Worse still was the fact that you’d passed your favourite coffee shop on the corner as you’d sprinted to make it to your first meeting of the day.
The bright fall leaves glued in the window were mocking you as they declared the arrival of the season and with it, their drinks menu - including your favourite drink of all time: a pumpkin spice latte.
Yeah, that particularly stung as you had to physically drag yourself away, knowing you didn’t have the time. Damn it.
You’d have to wait til lunch to treat yourself and mark a start to your favourite season - a thought that had you grumbling to yourself as you finally made it up the stairs and to your office.
Thankfully, it was quiet when you pushed the door open and managed to drop your bag at your desk. No clients were sat waiting for you, ready to berate you for clocking in a whole five minutes late, which was a huge relief.
In fact, the only other person who appeared to be in the office at all was Matt - and even he seemed to have only just arrived, given the fact he hadn’t even taken off his coat yet. How strange. Normally he’d have been here a good twenty minutes or so already, having barely stopped long enough at his apartment for a quick power nap.
Maybe he was also running late this morning?
“Morning, Matt,” you sighed, by way of greeting. “Sorry, my stupid phone didn’t charge last night so I missed my alarm. I only woke up because the asshole builders outside my place decided to start construction a whole hour earlier than normal, which is a pain but kinda saved my ass in the end. I mean, thanks to them I at least had time to brush my teeth but that was it if I was going to make the subway- Oh!“
You stopped.
You stared down at your desk, surprised to see the steaming plastic cup sitting waiting for you. You were even more surprised to see your name scribbled on top, as well as your order printed on the side: a large Pumpkin Spice Latte.
“Is this for me?” you blinked, turning your gaze across the room. “You got me coffee?”
“I figured you wouldn’t have time,” Matt shrugged, in true Matt fashion. He always underplayed it whenever he did something for you. He never saw it as a big deal, whether it was taking a bullet for you or just grabbing your dry-cleaning. “You’re always in before I am unless you’re alarm fails to go off so… I grabbed you a coffee when I grabbed myself one. Don’t worry about it.”
“But … you got my favourite? You remembered?”
Matt laughed, holding his hand over his chest as he gasped in mock hurt. “Your surprise wounds me, sweetheart.”
“Oh, hush. It takes more than that to hurt the big bad Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, Matty.”
“Well, I don’t know about that. You’re kind of my weak spot.”
His admission tugged at your heart and it was hard to hide the resulting grin, especially when he followed the words by stealing a kiss and pulling you into his arms.
This was always the best part of your morning routine, stealing a moment together before Foggy and Karen arrived. Just a perfect moment of peace, where nothing else existed other than the two of you. It was as if the world had stopped, just for a second, and there was no crazy crime bosses trying to kill you both, bills to pay, or clients in need of your help.
You were simply two people in love, starting another day at work with a cup of coffee.
“Have I told you today that you’re the best?” you hummed.
“Not today, I don’t think.”
“Well then, I’m telling you now. You’re my hero - my coffee grabbing hero.”
“At your service,” Matt chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “But, you do know there’s an easier solution to this, right? One that would cut your commute in half and allow you ample time to get coffee in the morning?”
“Oh, what’s that? Super speed? Or are you going to show me how to parkour my way across rooftops?”
“Actually… I was thinking you could move in with me?”
You stopped.
Your head lifted so you could look him right in the eye. For a second you couldn’t tell if you’d misheard him or even just imagined it. “Are - are you serious?”
“As a heart attack,” he teased, his nerves showing as he waited for your answer. “Which is incidentally what you’ll have if you keep on drinking nothing but coffee all the time.”
“You are such a hypocrite, Murdock-”
“So what? That a deal breaker?”
“No,” you gasped, meaning every word. It was true. There was no force on earth that could drive you away from the man you were blessed to call your own. “I think, that actually sounds like a pretty good idea to me.”
“Wait, is that a yes?”
“Yes, Matt. It’s a yes.”
It was about a week later that you finally made the move a reality.
You spent the Saturday, assisted by a giddy Foggy and Karen, moving your boxes up the flights of stairs to Matt's apartment. They were only too eager to facilitate the pair of you finally moving in together (a fact proven by the fact you caught Foggy handing Karen a $50 bill. She had apparently bet you'd move in together before the end of the year).
"I had you down for six months ago," Foggy had grumbled, rolling his eyes at Karen's triumphant cheers. "Not my fault you two move at the pace of a glacier."
Still, you knew he was only joking. He was second only to Matt in his enthusiasm, helping move your worldly belongings about the apartment that was now also your home.
"I'm just going to run down and grab the last box from the van," you called, stepping out into the hallway and leaving the three of them to it.
However, you'd only made it a step when you heard someone calling your name.
"Y/N? Is that you?"
You turned and smiled at the kindly elderly woman who you knew to be Matt's closest neighbour. "Hi there, Mrs Manning."
You'd run into her a few times since you and Matt had started dating. She was a kind old soul who had been widowed sometime last year. Now, it was just her and her cat Tigger who resided in their apartment - and she had a real soft spot for your boyfriend.
"You doing ok?"
"Fine, thank you, dear," she smiled, gesturing to the few cardboard boxes still sat by the front door. "Those yours?"
"Uh, yes," you nodded awkwardly, sliding your hands into your pockets, “I’m actually moving in.”
"Well, finally. It was about time," she teased, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Now I can have you both over for dinner. It'll be nice for me and for that darling boy in there to have some company. He always spends too much time alone. I swear, he is wasting away - never any meat on those bones of his."
"We'd love to come to dinner," Matt answered smoothly, opening the door and popping his head out with a stealth you still couldn't get used to. He must have heard you talking from the other side of the door. "And don't worry, Mrs Manning, we'll both take good care of each other."
"Good good - and don't worry, I'll have my music playing nice and loud for most of the night so make all the noise you need," she teased, winking cheekily at the pair of you before turning back towards her apartment.
You and Matt were left standing there, speechless.
"I'll see you lovebirds later."
#ithebookhoarder#masterlist#thesilentmage#marvel#marvel x reader#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock x y/n#matt murdock x you#marvel daredevil#daredevil x reader#daredevil x you#daredevil#marvel imagines#charlie cox#foggy nelson#karen page#fluff#flufftober
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no pressure ; matthew murdock
warnings: mentions of sex, anxiety, few swear words, suggestiveness, comfort!matt
matthew & you as a couple was sill fairly new.
he hasn’t been in a serious relationship since electra, & you have never been in one either. so, you both had a lot to catch up & learn. besides learning each other’s love languages, favourite foods, hygiene habits, etc, you both still struggle with communication at times—especially when it comes to going to the next level in your relationship: intimacy.
for matthew, he’s had his fair share of intimate nights with partners, but you—you have never gone that far yet. & by knowing matthew’s history, you felt embarrassed & discouraged in telling him your inexperience with intimacy.
you tried avoiding the conversation for as long as you could, just telling matthew that you wanted to “take things slow & easy” for a while. & it did work… but only for five months.
it all started when matthew pulled you into a kiss after some lawyer ball the firm was invited to attend. the whole group, consisting of foggy, karen, matthew, & yourself had dressed up in your best attire to enjoy an evening of cocktails, expensive appetizers, & networking connections.
the whole night was a success, but matthew couldn’t help but feel his mind race at the thought of the way you felt tonight.
your perfume
your dress
your touch
he wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t help but feel like he needed to show you how you made him feel… in other ways.
so when you both arrived to his apartment after deciding you’d spend the night at his, matthew tapped your chin & held your cheek, pulling you into a long kiss. your clutch fell out of your hand & thumped onto the ground as your hands held onto the lapels of his suit jacket.
“you,” kiss “were” kiss “amazing tonight” matthew mumbled as he continued to kiss your lips, eventually leading you to smile, teeth clashing against his own for a moment.
“shouldn’t i be saying that to you, mr. murdock? those other lawyers thought you were the shit” your compliment made matthew laugh into your neck as he peppered kisses along your skin, his hands running down towards your thighs as you leaned against his wall.
“say mr. murdock again & see where that’ll get you, won’t ya?” he teased, only to kiss your lips again when you repeated it, turning your giggles into heavy breaths.
soon enough, you were making out on the couch—hands holding whatever they could. yours were in matthew’s messy hair while his were on your ass, firmly holding you in place as you straddled his slack covered lap.
each kiss, each breath, each touch—you could feel yourself getting lost in the feeling of bliss, & you knew matthew was feeling it too. it wasn’t until a kiss on your neck made you bite back a small moan, & make you grow quiet & stiff in matthew’s grip.
he could smell your arousal building throughout the last while on the couch, but the tension bubbling on your skin made him pull away from your neck & raise his hands to your waist. “what’s wrong? did i-i do something? do you want to stop?” he asked carefully, his concern dripped with nothing but love.
but you thought the worst of it.
staying still in his lap, you felt your mouth grow dry. “n-no it wasn’t you, i just uh… fuck. i don’t know how to say it” you rushed, running your hands over your warm face in embarrassment.
with an end outing rub on your waist, matthew tutted. “sweetheart, you can tell me. i’m a big boy, i can handle it” he assured, sensing you peeking through your fingers before they dropped to your lap.
silence over took you for a moment as you fidgeted your fingers, hearing matthew let out a nervous breath.
“i’ve never had sex” you blurted, awkwardness rising in your chest at saying your fear out loud. “& i’m scared you won’t want me… it’s stupid i know—“
“it is stupid” matthew cut you off, shaking his head a little when he took one of your nervous hands into his.
“how could i not want you because of that?” matthew genuinely asked, not sure of where this idea of yours came from.
he knew it possibly stemmed from insecurity, but he needed you to say it.
shrugging your shoulders, you felt yourself caving into your body. “i never dated anyone…never hooked up… never had a boyfriend… no one has ever wanted me until now” you trailed on, your lips in the shape of a frown at hearing your loneliness be spoken about out loud.
matthew’s lips also frowned at the sound of your heartbeat slowing in a sad tempo, so he pulled you closer to his chest in a hug. you hid your face in his neck, eyes shut & breathing slow as you tried to relax. his hands worked their way along your back until one hand cradled the back of your head.
“i don’t care that you’ve never had sex before. that isn’t a deal breaker for me. never has been, never will be. okay? i’ll always want you y/n…” he told you firmly, trying his hardest to make you understand that you could trust him, be vulnerable to him without shame.
he felt your nod your head before a sigh slipped your lips. “i-i want you to be my first, i really do. i just don’t know when i’ll be fully ready” you confessed, hoping that he wouldn’t be questioning if he did something wrong.
“& that’s okay. i can wait for you, y/n. wanna treat you good when you want it, yeah?” he kissed your head once he felt the tension in your shoulders subside & you held onto him tighter.
“thank you” you pressed a kiss to his neck, your nose soon rubbing over the spot tenderly.
“no,” he paused, bringing your face to be in front of his. “thank you”
with your anxiousness dissipating in the air, you kissed the palm of matthew’s hand. “lemme treat you to a shower hmm? with the fancy body wash?” he suggested, just wanting to be close to you in a way that you both have done on multiple occasions—it was his way of showing you that things were good.
leaning into his touch, you couldn’t help but smile & feel warm. you felt lucky that he was so understanding.
“yeah, i’d like that”
#celebrities#charlie cox fanfiction#charlie cox#mcu daredevil#charlie cox imagines#mcu fanfiction#daredevil#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock imagines#matt murdock mcu#matt murdock blurb#matthew murdock oneshot#charlie cox fanfic#netflix daredevil#mcu x you
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The way he was so gentle then became passionate 😵💫
#charlie cox#legacy (2013)#btw his character here is kissing a married woman#another one in his endless list of adulterer roles lol#imagine this is matt if they let charlie keep his chest hair (and wear a chain!)#matt murdock smut#daredevil
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Just Let Me Love You | Matt Murdock x Reader
Masterlist
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (f!Reader heavily implied)
Summary: You're struggling with your body image and Matt notices
Warnings: Angst, TW: allusions to an ED, self-deprecating talk (Reader has internalized fatphobia toward herself), not proof red (I was too emotional for that)
Word Count: 2.1k
A/n: So, my body is changing and I hate it. As someone who was the Fat Funny Friend growing up, I got inspired by the song. Now I wasn't sure if to tag for a plus-sized reader because when I wrote this, I had myself in mind, and I'm not even sure what "category" I fall into, so this is pretty universal and I think any of you who are struggling with body dysmorphia might appreciate this. Heed the warnings before proceeding and don't forget to eat if you haven't already! (Also, I used my tag list to tag for this, but don't read it if this triggers you, please!)
Our brains are wired to function in a certain way. But not every brain is balanced in chemistry.
For the longest time, she thought there was something seriously wrong with her. She never fit in anywhere, so she tried to make herself fit. Change her attitude, change her behavior, change her hobbies, and change the way she looks. She did it so many times, she lost count.
She relied on humor, telling funny little anecdotes to make whatever friend group she was a part of at the time laugh at her. But that was all she could do. Make them laugh. She lit up the mood, lit up the room, but she seemingly never lit up anyone’s heart the way her friends did.
They talked about their relationships, talked about their families and friends, and she played along. She listened. When she talked about her likes, they pretended to care, but within minutes, they lost interest. She thought it just wasn’t that important. Not as important as how beautiful they all were, anyway. And they were striking, she thought. That’s why everyone always chose them and never approached her. But she swallowed it to at least be a part of something.
She always helped everyone but herself. She was there when no one else was, but even when she was a part of something, she never fully fit in. There was an impossible standard looming over her head, and she couldn’t possibly reach it.
Don’t be too loud. Don’t be too silly. Don’t say no. Don’t talk about your problems, only listen to everyone else’s. Don’t believe that he wants you because he is too good for you, and all he wants is your best friend who is ten times prettier than you. And don’t believe that personality and humor will get you anywhere; you will end up miserably alone the same way people who look like you always will.
The same voice, over and over again. Word turning into knives. It was exhausting to fight against the demons within her because they just sounded so damn convincing.
When she met him, the man who stole her heart, she never thought he would ask her out. When he did, she was dumbfounded. In every possible situation, he found himself assuring her that he wouldn’t drop her for the pretty blonde in the office, or his psychotic ex-girlfriend who just happened to have the most beautiful body known to man. To her, at least. Everyone around him was just so beautiful, and he was even more so–he was the prettiest specimen in the world, and everyone desired him. Of course, she grew insecure. She couldn’t help it. It was a reflex.
She fell in love with a man who finally saw her for who she was and he loved her despite—no, he loved her regardless. For who she was. He took her, accepted her, and began seeing her as the most beautiful person in the world. For the first time, she felt appreciated, loved, and not so miserably alone.
Yet, the fear continued to linger. The fear that one day, he would notice that perhaps, a woman of average looks wouldn’t be enough for him anymore. That she was, indeed, as unconventionally unattractive as everyone said she was from the first day she actually understood what was being said to her. She was just a child then.
The funny friend. The awkward friend. The weird one. The girl without real friends. The girl with the silly clothes, the silly smile, the slightly crooked teeth, the belly pouch… The girl who lost weight, the girl who gained weight, and the girl who shouldn’t be so proud of herself because she had nothing to be proud of.
“Sweetheart?” he asked her, yanking her out of the downward spiral that only continued to get worse over time. “Did you have anything to eat yet?”
He stood in the kitchen, the sleeves of his dress shirt bunched around his elbow. It was hot outside, too hot for her liking, and even his clothes were slightly stained with sweat.
She looked up from the couch, still wrapped up in a blanket despite the high temperatures, a book resting on her thighs. He met her eyes with a smile.
“I noticed your leftovers are still in the fridge. Could smell them,” he clarified. “I was just wondering whether that was on purpose or not.”
Worrying fit it better, she thought to herself. He always worried too much.
She closed her book. “I might’ve forgotten,” she said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
His eyebrows furrowed. “You forgot?” There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but it never reached his eyes.
“Yeah. I probably got too caught up reading or something. It’s no big deal. I’ll eat later. Or drink another latte.”
He hummed. “You know, iced coffee is not considered a healthy diet. Your body needs fuel.”
“Jesus Christ, Matt,” she raised her voice, “I’m okay!”
“You don’t look okay,” he stated as a matter of fact.
“And how would you know?”
“I just do.”
He approached, his muscles straining against his shirt. It wasn’t fair, how good he looked. How well he carried himself. And he still had the audacity to look at her and tell her she had much more going for herself than just her humor. That she was beautiful. Pretty enough.
“Hey,” Matt lowered himself on the couch beside her, “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, huh?”
“I forgot to eat, I told you,” she said.
“I don’t believe you.”
“But it’s the truth.”
“Not if you did it on purpose.”
The book landed on the coffee table and she got up, pacing the small space of their shared apartment in the heart of Hell’s Kitchen. He could hear her heartbeat pounding against her ribcage, the pent-up tears, and the tension, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out. But he waited. He gave her the space she needed to collect her thoughts.
“I forgot,” she repeated. “At first. And then I just happened to pass by a mirror and…and I looked at myself. I mean, really looked at myself.”
“Oh–” He sighed. “Baby…”
“I’m smaller when my stomach is empty, you know. And I thought it wouldn’t hurt me to, uh…cut back a little?”
He was about to respond, but she cut him off. “I don’t mean that I’m starving myself. I just…I forgot to eat, and then, when I remembered, I remembered what I saw and I was just…I’m not hungry anymore. I…I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m not doing it on purpose, I’m just…”
She stopped pacing. She met his unfocused hazel eyes that held so much pain when he looked at her. He reached out, not saying a word, and she extended her shaky fingers toward the lifeline he was throwing.
“Oh, God,” she whispered. She realized then why he looked so hurt. “It’s getting bad again, isn’t it?”
The question hung in the room as he pulled her toward himself.
She didn’t protest when he pulled her back onto the couch, his arms engulfing her and pulling her back against his sturdy chest.
“What makes you think that you need to hurt yourself to fit some unrealistic beauty standard?” he asked softly, his voice merely a breath tickling her ear.
She whimpered, not wanting to answer.
“What makes you think that not being healthy is the solution to the way you see yourself? Wouldn’t that just make it worse?”
“I just…” She took a deep breath. “I just… I just want to be enough.”
“But you are enough,” he answered in a heartbeat, placing his hand on her neck and turning her face to him. He missed her face with his gaze, but she could still feel him in every fiber of her being as he sat there and felt her pulse, and she matched her breathing to his.
A tear rolled down her cheek. “You don’t understand what it’s like,” she whispered back. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be only seen as the comedic relief in every relationship you have ever been in while your friends pulled the guys you wanted. Because they never wanted you, and they never saw competition in you either because you were just never the center of anyone’s attention.”
He was silent for a moment. The taste of her tears reached his tongue, and he visibly recoiled at the pain she held inside of her. Matt pulled her closer, holding her a little tighter. She melted.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of leaving her to deal with her thoughts, he placed his lips against her ear again. “You’re the center of my attention,” he said. “Of my world. My universe. And I couldn’t care less about the way you look.”
“That’s because you’re blind,” she shot back, a sob rippling through her body.
He shook his head. “No. Those who reduce you to your looks are blind, and they don’t even deserve you in the first place. What matters most is this–” his large hand found its way onto the left side of her chest, above her heart. “What’s in here is what makes you beautiful, not what covers the outside.”
“But that’s not enough, is it?”
“To me, it is.”
“Not to me, Matthew. Like I said, you don’t get it.”
She struggled against his grip, but he wouldn’t let her go. “Then let me rephrase it,” he tried again, pressing his hand further against her chest. “I care more about who you are inside because I love you. But I don’t need sight to appreciate your physical beauty along with the sound of your heartbeat. Your breathing. Your touch. You know why?”
She shook her head. “Enlighten me.”
“Because I can feel you, sweetheart, and you are the most breathtaking human being I have ever had the pleasure of laying my hands on.”
If words were enough to make a person pass out, this would surely have been her breaking point.
“You mean that?” She turned around, her tears now glistening with a taste of hope.
He brushed them away with his thumb and nodded. “Every last word.”
Her eyes fluttered closed at the ghost of his touch. “I don’t like my body,” the admission came quietly.
In response, Matt nodded. “I know, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. That body deserves to be loved. You deserve to be loved.”
“I feel like…like I don’t deserve you. I don’t want you to leave me for…for Karen.”
The mention of her name caused him to frown. “Karen?” he asked. She nodded. He sighed, forcing her head to his chest, forcing her to listen to his heartbeat the same way he always did to her. “Don’t even think like that,” he told her. “I would never leave you for someone else. For no one, for nothing. I need you to stop assuming that, sweetheart. It’s not true.”
“It feels true,” she cried.
His lips brushed the crown of her head. “But it isn’t.”
“But–”
“I love you,” he said, a bit more insistent this time. “Only you. I would rather die than never be with you again. And I mean that. Bring me the poison and I’ll prove it to you. I’ll get on my knees and worship the ground you walk on if that’ll make you believe me, but I won’t leave you.”
She clung to him, her nails digging into his shirt. Matt shushed her, his fingers brushing through her hair. The rhythm was soothing.
She sobbed until she had nothing left to give. She cried because she knew he was right. She knew she was overthinking, but she was powerless to fight it. He was the only one who could open her eyes, and even then, she more often than not slipped away. She hated it. She hated the way her brain was wired, the things she was taught, and the things she continuously and wrongly kept teaching herself.
Eventually, though, she slacked in his arms.
“I don’t really like myself right now,” she confessed. “But I don’t know how to stop it.”
Matt chuckled softly, his chest rumbling. He tilted her chin up. “Then let me help you,” he said.
“How?” she asked.
He leaned down, his lips brushing against hers in a gentle kiss. “Just let me love you.”
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#matt murdock#daredevil#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#matt murdock x you#no y/n#tw: ed#matt murdock imagines#charlie cox
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first impressions
pairing: Matt Murdock x reader (no pronouns used)
warnings: none I think
summary: i wrote this purely bc i know matt murdock is excellent at meeting people’s mothers. after impressing your parents matt gets to thinking about his future.
word count: 1.6k
“I’m nervous.” You sat next to Matt in the restaurant he had chosen for the evening. It was fancy. There was a pianist in one corner of the room and linen tablecloths. It was nicer than the hole-in-the-wall joints that you and Matt usually preferred. He wanted to impress your parents though, so he had made a reservation at a swanky restaurant in midtown Manhattan.
Matt was in his court suit and you had donned the blue silk dress he bought for your anniversary. It was by far your favorite dress. Beyond being a treasured gift, it fit you perfectly and the fabric always felt soft against your skin. Karen had helped Matt pick it out, but she had told you that all she did was describe the dresses and that he had completely ignored her opinions. She had strongly recommended a yellow dress but he had refused her suggestions, insisting you would like the one he picked better. Never having seen the yellow one, you knew he was right. If he picked it, you loved it. You would have him choose between options you put out when you got dressed in the mornings by describing them to him and he always had you match his tie to the rest of his outfit.
“It’s going to be fine,” Matt said and kissed your temple.
“I only ever introduced Caleb to my parents,” you told him, not that you hadn’t said it before. Matt knew that Caleb was not someone you had pleasant memories of. He had heard the stories from you and he was the one who helped you get over many of the fears that Caleb had struck into you. Matt was remembering those stories while he heard in your heartbeat how nervous you were.
“You know I’m not like Caleb,” Matt reminded you.
“I know, Matt. I just…this is a big deal for me,” you said.
“It’s a big deal for me too, sweetheart,” Matt told you. “It’s just an exciting big deal for me.” You inhaled deeply. Matt smiled. “You have nothing to worry about. Moms always like me, angel. It’ll be great,” he assured you.
“All women like you,” you said. Matt laughed lightly.
“Then that will include your mom, won’t it?” He asked rhetorically. He gave you a light peck as he tangled his fingers with yours beneath the table. “Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he cooed. You sighed.
“You’re right. I know they’re going to love you. I just…” You hesitated.
“Caleb was a mistake and you think it’s bad luck,” Matt said, always knowing what you were thinking.
“Yeah,” you agreed.
“This isn’t a mistake, sweetheart. I promise. It’s just the next step,” he told you. You nodded and Matt gave your hand a squeeze. You looked up at the doorway to the restaurant.
“They’re here,” you said. You rose from the table and greeted your mom and dad with hugs. Matt was standing by your side with a charming smile across his face.
“Hello, Mrs. y/l/n,” Matt greeted with a smile. Your mom held her arms out to Matt and pulled him into a hug. He returned it kindly.
“Oh, please, call me y/m/n,” your mom said. “Y/N has told us so much about you. I think we can be on a first name basis,” your mom said. You felt heat rise to your cheeks as your mom told Matt how you spoke about him. Matt simply turned to you and smiled. He loved that you told your parents about him. He wished he could tell his dad all about you. Your father held out his hand for Matt to shake. Matt stayed still, not wanting to give up his powers. You took Matt’s hand and pulled it to where your father’s hand was waiting.
“Oh, sorry about that,” your dad said in embarrassment as he shook Matt’s hand. Matt chuckled lightly.
“That’s alright, sir. Took y/n months to stop answering me with nods,” Matt joked.
“It was not months,” you said sharply.
“You still do it sometimes,” Matt teased. You pursed your lips, biting back the comment about how you knew he could tell. The four of you sat down, Matt pulling out your mother’s chair for her before doing the same for you and taking his seat.
Matt was right about mothers loving him. He charmed your mom with his dry sense of humor and enchanting smile. He won your dad’s approval when he mentioned he owned his own law firm. Your father didn’t need to know that Nelson and Murdock was nearly always on the edge of bankruptcy. Your parents told Matt stories about you from your childhood, despite your protests that they were too embarrassing. Matt loved the stories. All he could do was smile at you. The night was perfect. Matt was perfect. Your father refused Matt’s attempt to pay for the meal before the four of you left. You said your goodbyes in front of the restaurant before getting into different cabs and going back home. Matt’s hand was resting innocently on your leg while the two of you sat in the back of the cab.
“I told you it was going to be fine,” Matt teased you. You rolled your eyes.
“Yes, you were right, Murdock,” you agreed. Matt chuckled.
“Doesn’t happen that often. I have to brag when it does,” he said. The cab pulled up outside of your apartment and the two of you got out. You made your way up the stairs and walked through the sliding door. The glow of the billboard outside of your window was blue. A new advertiser had taken over a few weeks earlier and the red light that usually filled the room had been replaced with a blue light, making it seem like your apartment was bathed in moonlight. You were looking through the mail that you had collected on your way up.
You realized you didn’t know where Matt went when music started playing. You smiled to yourself as you tossed away the junk mail. Suddenly you felt hands on your hips as Matt pulled you away from the counter. He spun you around and moved one of his hands to the small of your back. The other went to cup your hand in his. You giggled before moving to wrap your free arm around his shoulders, fingers tangling in the hairs at the nape of his neck as the two of you began swaying back and forth. Matt loosened his hold on your waist and moved to let you spin beneath his arm before pulling you back into his body and dipping you.
When Matt pulled you back upright you leaned up on your toes to press a kiss to his lips. Matt smiled against your lips. You stared into his eyes when you leaned away. His eyes were so beautiful. You never cared that his eyes didn’t see you the way yours saw him. He saw you in so many other ways.
“You really impressed them,” you said as you leaned closer to Matt, tucking your head against his neck.
“I told you moms like me,” Matt said.
“My dad liked you too though,” you said.
“Yeah,” Matt agreed. “We just can’t let him visit my office. He won’t be impressed anymore.” You chuckled.
“I certainly hope he won’t ever need a lawyer,” you said.
“If you hadn’t needed a lawyer we never would have met,” Matt reminded you.
“Yes, and that worked out very well,” you agreed. “But when we tell our kids how we met I think we should make something up.” Matt beamed.
“Our kids?” He asked. Your heart dropped for a moment and your face went blank.
“I mean, umm…” You started stuttering.
“We’ll have to get married first,” Matt interjected before you could start backpedaling. Your panic turned to excitement. You grinned.
“You obviously have my parents' approval now,” you said. Matt smiled.
“And you’ve certainly gotten Foggy’s approval,” Matt replied.
“Foggy likes me better than you,” you said with a laugh.
“Yes, I know,” Matt said flatly. “He’s very clear about that.” You held back your giggles.
“If you came into the office with cookies instead of bruises like me he might like you more,” you joked.
“I do bring in cookies,” he grumbled.
“Yes, but Foggy knows I made them,” you said. Matt sighed.
“He wouldn’t like me at all if I brought in cookies that I made,” he said. You giggled at the memory of Matt trying to make your birthday cake and causing the building to evacuate after setting off the smoke alarm.
“When we have kids I bet he’ll like them better than both of us,” you said. Matt smiled.
“That’s alright. We can use him as a babysitter that way,” he said.
“Maybe if Karen’s there too,” you said. Matt chuckled.
“You don’t trust Foggy with our kids?” He asked.
“Matty, you have told me far too many stories about you dragging Foggy back to your dorm after a frat party for me to trust Foggy with our kids,” you said. “He will most certainly let one of them do something stupid.”
“And you think I won’t?” Matt asked.
“You won’t let them do something stupid, you’ll do it for them,” you said. Matt spun you around in his arms once more as the song came to an end. He kissed your forehead when he pulled you back against him. Matt’s heart was full at the way the two of you were so casually talking about your kids. He hoped it wouldn’t be long till they were real. He knew what he wanted. He didn’t want to wait for it anymore. There wasn’t anything stopping him now.
“You want to go ring shopping tomorrow?”
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock imagine#matt murdock x gn!reader#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock x reader fluff#matt murdock fanfiction#matt murdock imagines#daredevil x reader#daredevil imagine#charlie cox x reader
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On Dark Days
Matt Murdock x Reader
Words: 2199
Summary: Sometimes your mind turns against you. Your partner is there to help.
Notes: Another self indulgent comfort imagine. Sometimes I just want a Matt Murdock hug, you know? As always with these, this is entirely based on my own experiences and struggles.
Warnings: Dark thoughts, mental illness, anxiety, etc.
More Matt Imagines: HERE
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He knew something was wrong when you didn’t answer the phone. You always answered when he called, your voice holding a smile every time, making it impossible for him not to grin as well. He’d wanted to ask you what you wanted for dinner so he could pick it up, but you didn’t answer. And, fearing the worst, Matt rushed home as soon as he could, leaving a pile of work on his desk that he would just deal with later.
The apartment was still when he got home. Eerily still. But there, sounding like gunfire in the silence, was a racing heartbeat and quick, exerting breaths.
Matt sighed, but not out of relief.
He knew exactly what this was and a new kind of worry settled into his chest. There was no salt in the air, which meant you weren’t crying, which meant you were keeping it all locked inside of you. It was eating away at you and there was nothing he could do to stop it. But he could help you through.
Matt opened the door to the bedroom, finding you facing away and curled up on your side. You were on top of the covers, arms shivering and wrapped around yourself.
“I’m home,” he said silently, hoping not to scare you.
Your shoulders tensed. “Hi.”
Matt didn’t need to ask. He simply crawled into bed beside you, pulling you to his frame, arms locked tight around you to hold you against his chest. It was something he found seemed to help, a reassurance that he was there and that you weren’t falling into the dark that was consuming you.
He stayed like that for a while, not saying anything, not prying… just holding you while you shook and breathed and your heartbeat slowly calmed from your second panic attack of the night.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Breathe in.” His chest moved against your back as he did it with you. “Breathe out. In… out…” Matt kissed the top of your head. “There you go.”
“Sorry,” you mumbled, curling up even more.
Matt shook his head. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.” He pulled you a little closer, feeling your body tense up again. You were starting to shake and your heartbeat slowly started to pick up. He knew what it was. Guilt. Guilt for feeling the way you did, for thinking you were doing something wrong. Matt held you tight, not letting you go. “Hey hey hey, it’s okay.”
“You called…” You said softly. “I should have answered. I’m sorry. I know how m-much you worry.”
“It’s okay,” Matt insisted. “You’re here. Safe. And I’m here now, okay? You aren’t alone. I’m right here.”
You could feel his steady heartbeat against your back and his hands soothingly rubbing your arms and sides.
“You’re back early from work,” you said. “It’s my fault.”
“I came back because I wanted to.” Matt kissed the base of your neck. “I want to be with you.” He knew your brain was telling you otherwise.
You stopped arguing for a while and just laid there, staring blankly at the wall in front of you.
Matt shifted a little, leaning so you could see his worried, blank eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You melted into his touch.
“Do you need to talk about it?”
“Matt-”
“Sweetheart, you know it helps,” he urged gently. Matt turned you around in his arms so you were facing him. He laid a hand on your cheek. “Talk to me, baby. Please.”
His words and quiet, sweet tone hit your chest. He seemed to punch a hole through the dam. Finally, you started to cry.
“Okay.” Matt tucked your head under his chin. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
“I don’t…” You sucked in a shaking breath only to cough it back out with a quiet sob. “I don’t understand it. There’s nothing to talk about. Nothing h-happened.” You tried in vain to wipe away the falling tears, your hands shaking so bad they were hard to move. “I just feel so wrong.” There was one word that always described when you got like this. “Dark. Everything feels so dark.”
Matt gently brushed your tears away with his thumb, bringing you closer to kiss your forehead.
“I know, sweetheart. I know.” It shattered him to hear the quivering in your voice, but he knew that the demons that you dealt with were just that- demons. Thoughts your mind used against you. It didn’t define you. He always just tried to remind you of that. “Are you sure nothing happened?” He continued.
You burrowed closer to him.
That meant no.
“Okay, so what is it? What’s your head trying to turn around, huh?” He kept his tone a little lighter, giving you a small, reassuring smile as he tucked a hair behind your ear.
“I can’t do anything right,” you admitted. “Work. My friends… This.” You laid a hand on his chest.
Matt nodded. “And what is your mind telling you about all of that? What’s it trying to base it on?”
You started to retreat into yourself again, but Matt held strong. He rubbed smooth circles into your temples, soothing the anxiety headache that you had been trying to ignore.
“It’s okay, baby.”
You took another deep, trembling breath, speaking as you breathed out.
“I just feel like I’ve done something,” you whispered, like if you said it too loud it would become true. “I don’t know what, but everyone just seems off around me. Like they all have this secret about me that I have no idea what it is, but they won’t tell me, but it’s changing how they feel about me.” You buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I did something wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Do you think I’ve been different around you?” He asked, his tone never raising or accusing. He stayed absolutely light.
“No…” You sniffed. “I don’t know, maybe.” You brought your hands up to your face to further hide yourself. “I don’t know anything. I just know it all feels like it’s my f-fault.” Another sob escaped, muffled by your palm.
“Alright,” Matt sighed, pulling you back to him. “Let it out, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
But the energy you’d had to cry had all but gone out, leaving you shaking and sniffling in his arms. You felt so pathetic.
“You know that I’m not upset with you, right?”
You tried to turn away. “I know, but-”
“Hold on, I want you to sit with that for a second, okay?” Matt instructed, making sure you stayed locked against him, safe and loved in his embrace. “You haven’t done anything to upset me. If I’ve been different, it’s stress from work. It isn’t because of you. You didn’t do anything.” His hands found every tension in your back and gently rubbed it out. He always knew exactly how to calm you down, whether it was with touch or his soft words. “Say it for me, hm?”
You shook your head weakly.
“Y/N…” He pressed.
You blew out a sigh. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Nothing is your fault.”
“N-nothing is my fault.”
“Your head wants you to believe it, but it isn’t true.”
You looked up at him, finding his distant, dark, loving eyes absently roaming your face. “It isn’t true.”
“There.” Matt brought your lips to his for a soft, assuring kiss. “I know it's hard to get past it, but those tricky thoughts are just that- tricks.” He kissed you again, a little deeper, but still gentle and loving. He pulled away with a smile teasing his lips. “I love you, Y/N. No matter what your mind tries to tell you. I’ll always love you.”
You snuggled closer to him, finally letting yourself smile a little. “I love you too, Matty.”
It wasn’t something you could explain- why your head did this to you, why it was so hard to move some days, why there were times when all you could think about was that you were broken and unlovable. Nor could you explain how Matt was able to pull you out of the dark that consumed you. While he couldn't fix everything, he could always ground you and remind you of the things in your life you loved and the people who loved you.
Matt’s hands slowly fell to your waist, holding you close to him while he breathed you in. After a while, his cheek nuzzled against yours, a new concern building in his mind.
“Did you eat today?” He asked.
You didn’t answer.
Matt sighed. “Say it for me, sweetheart.” The two of you had been over this before as well.
“I don’t have to ‘deserve’ a meal,” you breathed out. You’d been too tired, too consumed by your thoughts to realize how hungry you were. Even if you had realized it, you wouldn’t let yourself eat when you got like this. As if you had to earn food by being happy. It was something Matt was helping you work through too.
Matt nodded and sat up. “I’m ordering your favorite and not taking no for an answer, so don’t even try.” With another little grin, he kissed you one more time before climbing out of bed to reach for his phone.
You watched him, uncurling your body for the first time in several hours. Your muscles were stiff and ached, but you embraced it. Feeling sore was better than feeling empty.
Matt wasn’t gone long, having called your favorite restaurant and ordered delivery. He also put on a record of your favorite artist, letting the music fill the living room. He returned to the bed and lifted you up in his arms without warning, spinning you around to the melody.
“Matt!” You squealed, laughter bubbling through your lips.
Matt beamed. “I knew I could get a laugh somehow.” He kissed your temple and held you close to his chest, carrying you bridal style to the living room while still swaying to the song. He took you to the couch and sat you down, wrapping you up in a blanket and walking back to the kitchen to make you some hot chocolate.
“You know… I think there’s some cookie dough left in the freezer if you’re up for it,” he offered, raising an eyebrow.
You couldn’t help but chuckle. “Is that saying you want to make cookies?”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help you,” he said, holding his hands up. A wicked grin spread across his face. “It’s not my fault if I also happen to get cookies out of it.”
“Uhuh.” You held your arms out. “Now get back here, Mr. Murdock.”
Matt brought over the warm drinks and sat down beside you, pulling you back into his arms and kissing your forehead.
“Better?” He asked softly, lips against your cheek.
You nodded, frowning. “For now anyway.”
He held you a little tighter. “If it comes back, just let me know, and we’ll work through it together, okay?”
You nodded again, this time not saying anything and just settling against him. A tightness gripped at your chest and you felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you.
“I’m sorry, Matt.”
He pulled back. “For what?”
“For making you do this. You have so much going on and I hate that I add to it.” You swallowed. “It isn’t fair of me to put this on your shoulders.”
Matt grabbed you by the arms, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin.
“Y/N, how many times have I come back here beaten to hell and thinking I can’t do it anymore? How many times have I wanted to give up the fight? To let the darkness of the world take over?” He asked. You tried to look away, but he brought a hand up to your chin to make you look at him to see the sincerity in his face. “Who was the one who reminded me that there’s good? That there’s a reason to keep going? That I matter?”
His finger swiped away a tear you didn’t realize had fallen.
“You did, Y/N,” he said. “You always do. No matter how much I want to give up, you won’t let me.” Matt kissed you, firm and sure and everything you needed. “I will be there for you as many times as you need for as long as you need because I love you.” Matt rested his forehead against yours. “It’s not how you hit the mat…”
“It’s how you get up,” you finished, giving him a small smile. You pressed your lips to his, draping your arms around him.
The food arrived and the two of you spent the rest of the night listening to music and talking about new bakeries and boxing and work and everything in between. You weren’t totally out of it by the end of the night, but with every moment in your lover’s arms, you felt more and more like yourself.
Matt couldn’t keep the dark away. He knew that. But he could help you find the light again, no matter how long it took.
#marvel#charlie cox#matt murdock#matt murdock x reader#daredevil imagine#comfort#comfort imagine#daredevil#matt murdock comfort
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