#ch: laufey | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

karikarasuno · 4 months

Text

sonder ch. v

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader x Levi Ackerman

Rating: Mature

Warnings/Tags: Holidays, Alcohol Consumption, Flirting, Banter

Word Count: 8.3k

song(s) for the chapter: wishlist by jojo, orbit by nao, better than snow by norah jones & laufey

a/n: this chapter was especially fun to write since i do rather enjoy the holiday season. pls enjoy the chaos of it all.

chapter iv | chapter v | chapter vi

Ghosts, witch hats, and little black cat cutouts littered nearly every corner of the office. There were pumpkins, real and decorative, in the break room, the cubicles, and even on your desk. Which you had not placed there and could only blame really one person for.

“And exactly what are you supposed to be?” Moblit asked, dressed in all white with a halo attached to a headband on his head. He looked comical dressed as an angel because even though Moblit may have looked innocent, he was anything but.

“Ghostface,” you shrugged, pushing aside some papers and leaning forward on your elbows against the edge of your desk. You were dressed in your regular work attire, if not slightly more casual than work typically permitted. It was an extremely chilly day in the city, the wind sharp enough to bite at your cheeks and nose. You made sure to layer up before you left the house this morning, and funnily enough, the day already started to warm by the time lunch rolled around.

“Where’s the mask?” He teased as he gestured to his face and then pointed at yours.

“It’s before the big reveal,” you laughed, standing when you heard some excited commotion come from outside your office. “So do me a favor and don’t expose my secret identity.”

When you walked into the break room, where you found everyone in their fun little costumes, the tables were covered in sweet Halloween treats and finger foods. Moblit was in charge of the event planning committee, accompanied by the overly excited Historia, who was standing at one of the tables with her hair braided and little flowers clipped all over.

“Rapunzel, is that you?” You asked teasingly as you walked up to her table and grabbed a mini cupcake with a cartoon ghost sticking up from the orange icing. She clapped her hands once in excitement and spun in response. Her purple dress stopped just above her knees, and the lilac complimented her skin tone in a delicate way. She looked adorable in her get up.

“The one and only,” she grinned. Her eyes took in your simple outfit of high-waisted brown slacks and your black, long-sleeve mock neck. Accompanied by some black leather boots. You could tell the question was on the tip of her tongue, but before she could ask it, Jean and Marco strolled in in matching costumes. You smiled extra hard when you spotted their outfits, and immediately recognized the orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirts. You giggled to yourself because this had Jean written all over it, and you couldn’t help but find it endearing.

Once you made eye contact with Marco, his grin turned rather mischievous as he approached you holding out a spear and shield in your direction.

“What is this for…?” You grabbed the props suspiciously as he continued to smile at you.

“I had a strong feeling you wouldn’t dress up, so I took matters into my own hands.” The realization dawned on you when he motioned to his own shirt.

“Athena,” you said, nodding as you looked between him and the props in your hands. “While I appreciate the thought, I’m too young to be your godly parent. By a millenia.”

He laughed rather loudly, chin tilting to his chest as he shook his head. “Hate to break it to you, but I’m no child of Athena.”

Photos were taken and the food provided was gone by the time you called it a day and headed home. The wind was especially chilly when you stepped outside and towards the train. Even though the time wasn’t due to change for another few days, the sun sat low in the sky, practically hidden by the tall, city buildings. Routine continued to follow you as you placed your headphones snug over your ears. They acted almost as ear muffs against the sharp breeze and you were grateful to find them charged.

The worst part of your routine was the new addition. The part where you addictively listened to Onyankopon’s song. You couldn’t really explain to yourself why you did it. It wasn’t anything remotely close to healthy. In fact, it was almost this obsessive need to torture yourself. That maybe feeling the guilt that already resided deeply against your sternum would grow so abundantly that it would just explode and kill you. Saving you in the end.

But that never seemed to happen. And you continued living life splitting yourself into two versions. This version, the one that allowed herself to feel the emotions that seemed to always be thrumming just beneath her skin. The one that anguished over lost love and was riddled with self-doubt and insecurity. This was the version you hated. Therefore you hid her behind carefully constructed smiles and well-timed jokes. Creating the other part of you. The one you longed to remain because she was charming and witty. People seemed to like her, so in times where you weren’t alone, crowded in a room of colleagues or even friends, she was who you became. You clung to her in fear, almost. Desperate to show everyone that you were okay.

That you were fine. Happy, even.

The street leading to your home was flooded with trick or treaters. Parents accompanied their small children while groups of teenagers laughed and chatted loudly on the sidewalk. As you neared the entrance to your home, you noticed Levi and Erwin were home too. A bowl of candy sat on their steps and their gate was propped open. You were tempted to stop by. Simply because you were starting to miss the consistency of your old routine. But it was harder to keep up appearances with them. Difficult to let them in completely, even though they were the ones to seemingly revive you from the fog of depression that loomed over your head for weeks before. And mostly because it felt awkward. Pretending to be someone else when they so clearly could see right through it, but were too polite to call you out on it. They often entertained your brush offs and changes in topic. All the while you could tell that their curiosity was starting to eat at them. Especially Levi. Who wasn’t the type to dance around topics or force pleasantries for fear of ruining a mood.

So you decided to just spend the evening alone. A far easier choice to be alone rather than confront what was going on inside your head outside of it. And in front of an audience. Instead deciding to keep the lights off, aside from the small yellow light above the stove, and playing Onyankopon’s song on the record player until you fell asleep on the couch like you always did.

Another new and unbreakable habit.

“I just don’t understand why you won’t say yes. Who wants to spend Thanksgiving alone? Are you even gonna cook something for yourself?” Erwin whined from the doorway of your home. You told the guys a few days prior that you were heading back home for the holiday, but a sudden and surprising snow storm ended up canceling your flight. The airline offered you their next flight out, but at that point you wouldn’t land until late Thursday evening, effectively missing Thanksgiving. Which was the whole point of going back to your hometown.

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. Honestly I’ll probably just order Chinese or something. I promise it won’t be as sad as it sounds,” you argued, rifling through your junk drawer for the menu to the Chinese place a few blocks away.

“That is so un-American of you,” Erwin pouted. “Just come to my dad’s place with me and Levi. Please.”

“I will ignore your first comment because we are not opening up that can of worms tonight.” You tossed him a playful glare, remembering the drunken night at Hange’s bar where you all loudly and incoherently discussed the history behind the origins of Thanksgiving. He rolled his eyes in response.

“Anyway, I don’t want to intrude. I’m sure your dad didn’t cook enough for an extra person.”

“Clearly you don’t know my father,” he chuckled. “He probably cooked enough for 10 extra people.”

You found the menu before you could formulate a response, waving it excitedly in front of you before opening it to read the options. But as you contemplated which dish you’d want more, the menu was snatched from your hands and when you met Erwin’s gaze there was startling defiance behind them.

“You’re not eating Chinese food on Thanksgiving when there is an old man in his home cooking his little heart out.”

“Don’t try to guilt trip me,” you answered, astonished at the immature tactic he decided to use.

“I refuse to leave until you say yes.” He opened the drawer positioned in front of your hips and slid the menu back inside of it. All while maintaining determined eye contact with you. Your resolve was crumbling. You felt it as layer after layer of it fell to your feet in a dusty heap.

“Erwin,” you pleaded, crossing your arms over your chest in one final attempt to get your point across. Even though you already knew that you were leaving this house with him, albeit with halfhearted reluctance.

From the doorway you heard Levi enter. And a part of you thought that he would back you up. Oftentimes, reeling in Erwin’s rather persistent nature. But as soon as that hope flickered around in your chest, Levi said, “we let Halloween slide because I quite frankly don’t care much for it. But I’m drawing the line here. Go get dressed.”

Your mouth popped open, shock evident on your face as Levi sent you a stern glare. No room for arguments. Noted. “You’re not spending another holiday alone. I don’t care.”

You sent a look of surprise to Erwin, again expecting some sort of alliance, but he simply smirked. Knowing that they did indeed win this argument. So you walked your ass to the bedroom to change out of your loungewear and into something much more appropriate for a family dinner.

“I can’t believe you two would gang up on me like that,” you said as you slipped into the back seat of Erwin’s car, your coat secured tightly around your body to protect you from the harsh cold. Levi chuckled from the passenger seat. The car was already nice and warm since they waited for you inside of it. The heat blasting from the fans.

“I wouldn’t call what we did ganging up on you.” Erwin began to drive, the streets surprisingly sparse given what day it was. “You were persuaded into coming along with the prospect of good food and even better company.”

“We’ll have to see about that,” you argued, sticking your nose into the collar of your coat to try and defrost it. While the drive to Erwin’s father’s home was comfortable, the conversation flowing with seemingly no effort, you still held the unmistakable pit of anxiety in your chest. It was unwavering, steady, and atrociously annoying. There was no reason for it. Other than to make you as supremely uncomfortable as possible.

The consistent feeling of it was morphing into a dreaded resentment. Mostly for yourself. And the predicament you only brought upon yourself. It was repetitive. Every day was the same since it was always accompanied with the same negative feelings. You couldn’t help but hate each day. The active effort of trying to enjoy the simple things, the little things, was increasingly harder to do. And your current state of depression was beginning to worry even you. Since the amount of work you were previously throwing yourself into was diminishing rather quickly, you have had no other choice but to sit and feel and reflect. And upon reflecting, you only realized that you felt like shit and no amount of work would ever fix that.

The worst part was knowing that you had friends. Friends willing to force you from your home late on Thanksgiving day and forced you to actually spend time with them. Friends who cared. Friends who wanted you around. Even when you felt like the worst person to be around. Especially when you were alone.

But that didn’t stop Erwin or Levi from ensuring that you didn’t spend this day lonely. Ensuring that when you walked into Mr. Smith’s home you were greeted with the smell of roasted vegetables, well seasoned turkey, and warm spiked apple cider that you were questionable of until you had your first sip. The Christmas tree was already up as well, and you were about to make some well-intentioned joke about it still being November until you noticed that there was a second one in the dining room. Granted this one was fake, unlike the very real (and fragrant) fir that was decorated rather elaborately in the living room.

“So,” Mr. Smith walked up beside you as you admired the twinkling lights and sparkly ornaments. “I heard you’re a pretty good cook.”

“I dabble,” you shrugged with a light laugh. “It’s been a minute since I spent some time in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t say I’m a chef or anything.”

“Either way, I’m excited to hear your thoughts about dinner,” he said as he nudged you gently with his elbow. And when you looked into his eyes, while you saw kindness and comfort in his gaze, there was a familiar glint of knowing sadness. A pain that you recognized rather fiercely. It struck you deeply that someone you barely knew and have only interacted with once before could resonate with the gnawing feeling in your chest with just a simple look. You were intrigued, wanting to question what was wrong. But then you remembered that Erwin lost his mother when he was younger. And what you saw reflected in Mr. Smith’s eyes was the knowingness of loss.

In some capacity, you knew what that aching emptiness felt like. That transitionary period between loving someone and not being able to have them anymore. Whether it was a choice to be made or a tragic ending. Loss was like a tradition. One that anyone, human or not, partook in simply by living and breathing.

Another reminder that we had hearts to be broken and then mended with time.

“Also,” he added, “I’m happy you could make it. Erwin said it was a bit of a debate getting you over here.” He chuckled when you sighed and shook your head in disbelief.

“Remind me to never tell him a secret, since he doesn’t seem to have any filter.”

“He gets that from his mom, y’know. Looks almost nothing like her, but everyday he reminds me of her more and more.”

You both glanced over at Erwin at that moment. Him with a longing fondness and you with aching curiosity. He was attempting to goad Levi into trying one of the cookies that sat atop the island in the kitchen and failing miserably since you all knew how much Levi despised anything sweet before meals.

“Come on, it’s good,” Erwin said, offering him the half again and chuckling when Levi’s scowl deepened.

“I don’t doubt that, but we’re about to eat dinner and you're going to ruin your appetite,” Levi responded before turning away with a shake of his head.

“For someone younger than me, you sure act like an old man. So damn crotchety,” he continued teasing Levi.

“Give it here,” you held out your hand as you made your way to the kitchen. Erwin deposited the cookie onto your palm with a grin, eyes sliding towards Levi to catch his reaction when you ate the half in a single bite.

“I don’t understand either of you sometimes,” Levi grumbled. The timer for the turkey went off then, Erwin’s dad running over to the oven to take it out. The four of you began bringing over all the sides to the dining table that was already set up with dinnerware and utensils. It was a cute little set up he had. A seat on each side of the table with all the food presented in the middle. There was a deep burgundy cloth covering the table and the white plates had gold decorating the rim. Levi held out your chair and motioned for you to have a seat before taking his place next to you. Erwin and his father bickered for a moment about who should carve the turkey until Erwin took the knife and fork with a resigned sigh. Mr. Smith sat down with a pleased grin, winking your way when you caught his eye.

Dinner was pleasant. Your wine glass was never empty. Which would've been a bad thing seeing as you only really ever drank nowadays to wallow in your sadness, but with the constant chatter and laughter it was hard to feel anything other than satisfaction and ridiculously full. Full from the incredible meal, full from the very obvious love surrounding the table, and full of ever-fleeting happiness. You didn’t really want your night to end, but as the hours crept closer to midnight you felt the lull of sleep beckoning you. You were all seated in the living room, fire crackling in the firepit, lights dull besides the twinkling lights on the tree. It was the coziest you’ve felt in a long time.

In the background, Mr. Smith’s phone rang. The chatter died for a moment as he excused himself to answer it. Levi and Erwin exchanged a weird look. Levi’s of barely there curiosity while Erwin looked downright confused. But you didn’t question it, and when you glanced over at Mr. Smith you noticed a small smile on his face as he spoke with whoever was on the other line in the kitchen. You couldn’t make out the words, but it didn’t seem of any significance. Not until he returned to his place on the recliner in the living room, the same little smile tugging on his lips.

“Who was that?” Erwin asked.

“No one. Just a coworker,” he responded dismissively.

“Seems a little late for ‘just a coworker’ to call you on a holiday.” Erwin said, an intonation of irritation in his voice.

“It’s nothing, son. Really,” he said, a tone of finality present in his voice as he looked at Erwin with a firm yet understanding stare. The air around the room shifted into something awkward and you weren’t sure how to shift it back. Luckily, you didn’t have to. Levi swept in to recover the previous content with a story of how he and Erwin recently attended one of his mom’s yoga classes. Erwin’s simmering mood turned to one of offense when Levi lightheartedly recounted how Erwin was endearingly bad at it.

And you hadn’t realized you fell asleep until Erwin was rousing you awake from your place on his shoulder. Not exactly sure when that happened either and you were almost embarrassed by it. Until you were met with a bright smile, lips tinted from the red wine and eyes soft and tender as they looked down at you. It was one of those rare moments when you couldn’t help but acknowledge how stunning Erwin was. Hair just slightly tousled, lashes long and sweeping – perfectly framing his dazzling blue eyes. You swallowed, mouth dry as you tore your eyes from his face and cleared your throat. Trying very hard to ignore your obvious attraction to him, blaming most of it on the wine and your creeping loneliness.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” he said with amusement on his tongue.

“Sorry,” you apologized, voice unexpectedly hoarse. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“No need to apologize.” He squeezed your knee, large hand warm and fitting there. And another subtle wave of shame washed over you for thinking of him as anything other than a friend in that moment. “It’s time to get going, anyway.”

You nodded in response, uncurling your legs from where they were on the sofa and placing your socked feet on the fluffy rug before you. Erwin stood up before you did, walking to the kitchen to grab the bowls of food Mr. Smith most likely packed for you all to take as you slept. Your mind was distracted. Mostly confused as you tried to remember the moment you succumbed to your slumber. The kind that came with no dreams or nightmares, just a blank space of peaceful rest. The kind you haven’t had since that night Onyankopon left. The kind that always seemed to evade you. Until now.

“Here.” Levi held out your coat, blocking your vision with the black fabric until you looked up to look at his face. Expression hard as it always was, but this time laced with something fonder. His features weren’t deeply set, his brow unfurrowed and eyes half-lidded from sleepiness. His cheeks were a signature rosy color. The shade you’ve come to correlate with tipsy Levi. It suited him– the slight blush dusted across his face.

You rose to your feet before you grabbed your coat, only to come nearly nose to nose with him. Yet you were surprised when he didn’t take a step away from you. The space between your bodies was so little, it would hardly take a few inches of leaning into each other to kiss him. And the thought was so appealing to you. So startling in its wake that you stepped backward, only to tip over back onto the cushions of the sofa.

Levi chuckled deeply in his chest, the sound rolling over your shoulders and down your spine. And you knew the way your cheeks warmed had nothing to do with the glasses of wine dancing in your bloodstream. But despite the sudden onslaught of confusing desire thrumming beneath your skin, you took Levi’s hand when he offered it to you. Even allowed him to slip your coat on for you, buttoned it up until it stopped just beneath your collarbones, and tied the loose ends securely around your waist. It shouldn’t have felt like anything other than platonic. But your body was saying a very different thing than your mind was.

“Thank you,” you breathed, voice distant from your own ears, but there was a note of yearning there not even you could ignore. When Levi looked at you, fingers still holding the ties of your coat, you noticed how long his hair has gotten. His bangs nearly touched his lashes as his eyes glanced over your face. He simply nodded though before he finally took that step away from you. Air rushed in to fill the gap that wasn’t previously there and you were even more ashamed at how much you missed the close proximity. Your heart hammered away in your chest, reminding you that you weren’t frozen in place and when Erwin gently called your name, the heavy fog began to lift and you made your way to the door.

The goodbyes were quick. The ride home even quicker. But the awkward realization sat with you the entire way. The realization that due to your tangled emotions, you were somehow blurring the lines between friends. Even though it was just you feeling so conflicted, you wanted to pull away again. A part of you wanted to do what you always did and lock yourself away until time forced you to forget or get over it. But knowing them, they wouldn’t allow it. Just as they didn’t allow you to spend the holiday eating Chinese takeout and binging whatever reality show you managed to find.

You would just have to sort it out. Push away any longing you felt and just replace it with platonic affection. Surely, once the wine simmered its way out of your system it would take away any attraction you’ve encountered tonight with it. Because you couldn’t lose them too. Not to something as trivial as rebounding desire that ricocheted from a past love and desperately searched for a new one.

The Christmas music was nonstop. It played at work, in stores, and even on the train one awfully dreary morning. You didn’t even know the train system had that option. So with all of that, you also weren’t surprised to hear a chaotic rendition of Jingle Bell Rock blast through the door of Hange’s bar. It was significantly warmer in their establishment and absolutely decorated to hell and back. This was either a person’s wet dream or elaborately niche nightmare.

There was an abundance of loud conversation happening over the song. Moblit was yelling something to Mike a few feet away from the bar top. All while Mike shrugged in response as he continued to polish glasses. You were sure he was only pretending to hear whatever Moblit was screaming and you chuckled into the scarf that was pulled over your nose to protect you from the fierce winds.

The three of you–you, Erwin, and Levi– began to shed off your outer layers at the door, the bottom of your boots leaving wet spots on the mat from the snow. It was starting to become quite evident that the three of you were nearly inseparable. You became a noted trio in your friend group.

When you met Nanaba for the first time a few weeks ago, she even jokingly referred to you as “Levi and Erwin’s third! It’s so nice to finally meet you.” It sort of rubbed you the wrong way initially, but you relaxed when you noticed everyone brush it off as meaningless banter. Because if you were being completely honest with yourself, that was a bit of a sore subject for you. The idea of being with Levi and Erwin, instead of just being with them all the time. You blamed it on some weird clingy rebound you must’ve been experiencing since your broken off engagement. The part of you that latched onto anything seemingly stable since you were so far from that. Especially since you didn’t have any idea how you managed to form such strong feelings for two people. Let alone your closest friends. You were positive you were just confusing potent platonic affection with regular romantic feelings. Whatever that meant.

“Don’t move!” Hange yelled from their place near the stage. You three immediately stopped in your tracks, your body flinching slightly since their voice carried much further after the abrupt ending of the song. You looked frantically behind you and then towards Levi, confused and more than a little concerned. On the opposite side of Levi, Erwin glanced nonchalantly at them as he readjusted the gift he bought for Secret Santa in his arms.

“What?” Levi said sternly, obvious irritation in his tone from not wanting to admit how their exclamation startled him. Instead of answering, Hange pointed to a spot directly above Levi’s head. You all tilted your heads slowly in the direction of their finger, and you were the first to react. A sudden and single laugh spilled from your lips. Cherry red and green spun down at you. A mistletoe hung delicately above your heads, still swaying from the wind that gusted through the open door when you entered it.

Levi sighed out a deep and annoyed breath, which made you huff out another light laugh. Over Levi’s head you made eye contact with a grinning Erwin, whose eyes twinkled with mischief and plotting. He glanced down at Levi with a jut of his chin and then pointed at his own cheek. You were confused at first until he exaggeratedly puckered his lips and pointed from his cheek to Levi. It clicked then, and you were hesitant, but when Ewin flashed another excited smile you conceded. It seemed like it only got harder to say no to him the more time you spent in his presence.

As Levi bickered with Hange in an entertainingly escalated debate, you and Erwin leaned over at the same time and placed a quick kiss to his cheeks. Which, comically, blossomed into a glorious shade of red. Deeper than any wine could ever do to him. Erwin retracted with a gross smacking sound and you just knew that the disgust now present on Levi’s face was due to the wet smooch left behind.

“You can stop arguing now, Grinch,” Erwin chuckled as he finally stepped out from beneath the mistletoe.

“That was wholly unnecessary,” he responded while wiping the spit from his cheek with the back of his hand. Which was when you noticed the glossy red lipstick mark you left on the other one. You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing when he looked your way.

“What?” He asked, exasperated.

“You have some…” You pointed to your cheek and suppressed a smile. “Some lipgloss on your other cheek.”

He sighed, but to your surprise he made no move to remove it. He simply walked into the bar with another shake of his head and a defeated shrug. You stood planted at the door for a second, just taking in the chaos. The bar was closed for this intimate little event. The usually lit low hanging lights were off, instead replaced with a vast array of string lights that were strewn over every place the ladder would allow Hange or Moblit to reach. At the top of the Christmas tree was an empty bottle of bacardi that appeared to be haphazardly covered in red and gold glitter. It was a very interesting choice for a tree topper, but you expected nothing less from the otherwise eccentric owner.

“Yo, you gonna keep standing there or are you gonna come try this?” Moblit called out at you holding up a drink with what seemed to be vibrantly red contents inside the glass.

“What exactly am I trying?” You wandered over, skeptical and not trusting his dismissive nature as he handed you the glass.

“A surprise,” he smiled, pouring another one into a similar looking glass.

“I’m not a fan of surprises,” you stated, sniffing the surprisingly fruity smelling drink.

“It’s a good surprise, I swear.”

“You said that last time and I ended up drinking a cocktail with Fireball in it. Which was disgusting, mind you,” you said, just before taking a tentative sip of your drink. And he was right. This time it was good. You couldn’t really pinpoint what the ingredients were other than that it was slightly tart, but with a lovely hint of holiday spices incorporated.

“You like it,” he grinned, taking a sip of his own.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“Didn’t have to. You’ve become very easy to read since I work with you everyday.” He chuckled when he said that. As if it was some simple thing to declare but there was a spike of fear in your chest. Because exactly how easy has it become to read you? “It’s called Christmas punch. We found the recipe a few years ago at this other bar we visited and it’s become kind of a staple seasonal drink for us ever since.”

You took another sip, noting the fun tease of ginger this time and smiled against the rim. “It is pretty good.”

“I fucking told you so.”

You propped your gift bag on the end of the bartop with all the other Secret Santa gifts, watching as everyone fell seamlessly into their own conversations and it was a comforting sight. Moblit and Mike behind the bar, while Hange and Levi tinkered with the karaoke machine settings to get the mic properly hooked up. Nanaba was racking the cue balls on the pool table while Erwin sipped on the same red drink you had in your hand as he gestured wildly with the pool stick.

You ended up watching them play a round, Erwin winning by a landslide. Many of Nanaba’s solid colored balls were still on the table, while the 8 ball was nowhere to be seen. Erwin’s celebration was loud, Nanaba rolling her eyes at him as he raised his arms above his head and cheered for himself. You laughed, third glass of punch in your hand and you were teetering across the line of tipsy and into drunkenness.

“You’re next.” Erwin pointed the pool stick at you as you pointed a questioning finger to yourself.

“Absolutely not. I don’t have enough coordination for this,” you defended, waving your drink at the game and laughing again.

“Perfect! It’ll be another easy victory.” He directed that at Nanaba, who flipped him off as she walked over to you and handed you her stick.

“I’m getting another drink,” she said. “Good luck with him.”

“Not sure how I feel about being the one to stroke his ego, but thanks.” You placed your now empty glass on a table nearby.

“You wanna break it or should I?” He asked, referring to the balls that were already set up in a triangle while adding the blue chalk to the top of his stick. Before handing it to you so you could do the same.

“Go ahead, big shot, since you’re so good at this.”

His grin was huge and confident. And you had to admit smugness looked good on him. Even if it did serve to annoy you. The balls scattered when he hit them, two striped balls falling into separate pockets.

“Guess your solids,” he said, hitting the white ball again, this time accidentally sending it into a pocket.

“And I guess your luck might be running out.” You teased, walking over to the pocket the white ball was in and positioning it by the ball of your choice.

“Doubt it, but let’s see what you got, sweetheart,” he said snidely, but he was still clearly amused.

And whatever luck and skill Erwin had seemed to transfer to you. Before either of you could even register it, you won the game. The 8 ball bounced off of his last striped ball and slid into one of the corner pockets. You were shocked at your win, but Nanaba and Hange cheered enthusiastically beside you. Nanaba very maturely telling Erwin to “suck on that, loser!”

Mike clapped Erwin on the shoulder as he chuckled at his expense. All while Erwin stood with his lips parted and obvious confusion on his face. “I call bullshit,” he said, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “You hustled me.”

“Beginner’s luck?” You offered instead, grinning from the adrenaline rush of winning. And the fact that Levi came over and slung his arm around your shoulder and laughed into your ear. “Thanks for humbling him. He needed it.”

When you made eye contact with him, you both began to laugh. Your cheeks were warm, the sweater you were wearing became stifling, but it didn’t matter. You were happy. Forreal this time.

“You have chalk on your cheek,” Levi said, fingers finding your chin and angling your face away from him. “How’d you manage that?”

His words were slightly slurred and you could smell the alcohol on his tongue. You were sure your breath probably smelled the same, but it was different feeling his fan delicately across your cheek as he used his thumb to rub off whatever smear was left there. When it didn’t wipe away cleanly, he reached out to the glass that sat precariously on the edge of the pool table and collected some of that condensation on the tip of his thumb.

“Not sure,” you breathed. “I was too busy kicking your man’s ass.”

He smirked, using his damp finger to effectively clean off the residue of the chalky substance. It was a thoughtful, if not compulsive gesture. Levi had a thing about cleanliness. A thing about things being orderly and appealing. So it was better for you not to read too deeply into the moment. Because it was a small moment between friends, no matter which way you cut it.

“And you looked good doing it,” he said as he let go of your face and wiped his fingers on a nearby napkin. Your brain stopped. You heard the gentle teasing in his voice, but it still surprised you. Because it felt like flirting. But Levi wasn’t the flirting type. You’d expect and actually have gotten used to these types of comments from Erwin. But that was who he was. Pushed your boundaries. Invaded your personal space. Made silly, complimentary comments. Flirted, but it was meaningless. Mostly.

“I-”

“Time for Secret Santa! Gather your shit and get your drunk asses over here,” Hange yelled. The gifts had been moved from the bar to a round table where enough chairs for everyone had been arranged in a circle. You grabbed the one you brought, the gift inside for Hange and your palms were beginning to sweat with nerves.

“You’re up first, new girl,” Moblit pointed your way as soon as everyone got settled. You knew you gave him a panicked sort of look because he chuckled, squeezed your shoulder, and then gestured for you to go on.

“Are we doing the whole I give you three clues and you guess or should I just hand it over?” You lifted your gift bag in emphasis, silently hoping they chose the latter. Because honestly you were a bit too drunk and a touch too nervous to come up with anything funny or interesting.

“Just give it,” Levi answered and waved his hand dismissively, and you could tell Moblit wanted to argue but when he felt your shoulders noticeably untense his lips closed around a smile. Hange was distracted, endlessly making sure everyone had a drink or a snack or was comfortable. They were a great, if not chaotic host. So you almost felt bad interrupting the small conversation they were having with Nanaba.

“Hange,” you said, standing in front of them with the strings of the gift bag dangling from your fingertips. Their face lit up. Eyes wide and smile splitting their face enthusiastically.

“For me?!” They squealed and you couldn’t help but smile back at their reaction.

“For you,” you urged the bag into their hands, and took a step back as they ripped the tissue paper from the bag and threw it over their shoulder. But unlike their rough treatment of the paper, when they pulled out the folded bundle of yarn, they held it with delicate and curious fingers. You felt the need to explain in that moment, in an attempt to jump ahead of the confusion in case they had no idea what it was. “It’s a balaclava. Handmade from this little online shop. You wear it over your head and it’ll keep your ears warm because I remember when you were complaining about wearing ear muffs so I just thought that maybe you would…”

“I love it!” They immediately shoved their head through the hole on the bottom, their hair a mess peeking out of the front with how forcefully they put the accessory on. You reached forward, swiping their bangs out of their eyes and adjusting it so it sat better around their face. They smiled up at you, colorful, crocheted balaclava fit snugly over their head.

“You look cute, actually,” you laughed, stepping away as they toyed with the drawstrings hanging under their chin.

“I’m never taking it off.”

“Ok, weirdo,” you laughed again with a shake of your head as you took your seat again.

The game somehow worked out perfectly with you going first. Everyone received their gift from their Secret Santa until you were the only one without one. And it just so happened that the final person standing with a gift still to give was Erwin. There was a heat in your chest that rose when you realized the present he was clutching so ridiculously the entire way to the bar was actually for you. Which then explained his odd reaction when you pretended to lift a piece of the wrapping paper that wasn’t secured properly. You had never seen him move so quickly since you’d known him.

He grabbed the box-shaped gift off the table, spinning it his hands as he dramatically scanned the group as if none of you knew who it was for.

“Just give it to me.” You held out your hands in anticipation, your cheeks warming under the attention, but ready to get the moment over with and not over think it.

“How are you so sure it’s yours?” Erwin teased, taking careful steps towards you and your outstretched arms.

“Erwin,” you said, wiggling your fingers as he placed the surprisingly light box onto your palms. You peeled the paper back attentively, even though it was just plain brown paper with little snowflakes on it, you still felt bad tearing it apart. And you weren’t too sure what you were expecting. Knowing Erwin it could very well be a gag gift or a play on some inside joke you had with each other. That was what you were anticipating. A laugh and then a change in subject since the game was over.

But what you weren’t expecting was a vinyl record. You knew of the artist, but never really listened to her work. And so when you flipped the record around after slipping it out of the cardboard box, the silence was louder than what would’ve been comfortable for most people.

“Norah Jones,” he said, shifting in place before continuing. “That was my mom’s favorite musician. And I know how much you like to collect those things, so I kinda thought that maybe you would like that album.”

You were drunk. That was how you justified the tears that pricked at your lash line. And the burning in your throat. And the slight pout of your lips when it hit you how sentimental and thoughtful his gift was.

“Erwin, I-”

“Put that bottom lip away. Don’t be weird about it.” He rolled his eyes. His playful energy attempted to resurface but you could tell how important it was for him that you liked this gift. Because it meant something to him. Something very personal and intimate.

You held the record to your chest that was already feeling far fuller than it has in months. “Internally, I’m being very weird about it, but for now I’ll just say thank you. So, thank you, Erwin.”

“Good, can we get drunk now?” He sighed, his shoulders relaxing as he smiled his easy going grin at you.

“We already are,” Mike piped up from his spot behind where Erwin was standing.

“Fine, can we get drunk-er now?”

“Yes! And I have just the thing,” Hange exclaimed, jumping up from their seat, balaclava still on, as they ran behind the bar to make whatever lethal concoction they had up their sleeve. When everyone stood to do their own things again, you approached Erwin with the record still held tightly against your heart.

He looked down at you with a relieved fondness in his gaze, and you melted. “I really do love this.”

“I’m glad,” he shrugged, acting as if this present was really no big deal at all.

“I’m gonna play it as soon as I get home,” you grinned, flipping the record around to read the tracklist.

“Is that right?” He was standing closer than you expected, and you could feel the rumble of his laughter against your shoulder, where he was pressed against you.

“Mhmm,” you hummed, looking back up at him. A strange and overwhelming sense of contentment flooded between the two of you. And again you blamed the rush of emotion on the alcohol. Because otherwise, the feelings would be unexplainable. Or too uncomfortable to linger on for longer than a moment.

The walk home was twice as long as it usually was. And far funnier than any of you could actually account for. You were wasted. Words slurring, unable to walk in a straight line, and a giggling mess. The entire walk home you clutched to Levi’s elbow as Erwin held tightly to Levi’s hand. And he could fool anyone, but you both knew how drunk Levi really was. He just had a great center of gravity. The stabilizing force between you and Erwin, tethering you two to the ground. The three of you spent three long minutes searching for your house keys in the bottom of your purse. Voices loud and intrusive in the city nighttime. Even though the train could still be heard, it was nothing compared to the obstructive whispering that was occurring on your doorstep. It would have been quieter if the three of you just talked regularly to each other. But logic and reason were not within reach.

“I got it!” Erwin spoke, disregarding the whispering in exchange for a near echoing shout. You shushed him by pressing your forefinger to his lips, his smile stretching against your fingertips and he winked at you. You snatched the keys from his hand and turned around before your flustered state became noticeable. It took four tries before you were able to slot the key into the lock and you stumbled into your home when the weight of your body against the door threw it open. Levi caught you by tugging the tie of your coat towards him. His other hand somehow landing on your hip over your layers and gripping tightly in order to keep you from falling to the ground. When you turned to thank him, his face was only centimeters from yours. And you briefly thought about how much of a coincidence it was that you always seemed to find yourself in this position with him. But when you noticed the scowl on his face, you laughed. Your head fell forward, forehead knocking against his cheek because you couldn’t help it. He looked so over your antics and when you breathed out a chuckled “thanks, Levi” he simply grunted and pushed you gently into your home.

Erwin found his way into your kitchen. The fridge light brightened your dark home and cast a harsh white glow over the small area. But it supplied enough light for you to kick off your boots and hook your coat onto the rack before following him into the kitchen as well.

“You have no food,” he grumbled, opening a bottle of water before chugging down half of it in one go.

“We just ate at the bar. How are you still hungry?” You pulled your sweater over your head as you answered him and tossed it onto one of the barstools, leaving you in the thin black long-sleeve beneath. He handed another bottle over to you, unscrewing the cap and a little bit of the water dribbled over the lip and onto your thumb when you took it from him.

“Don’t judge me,” he argued, “you’re the one with an empty fridge. When was the last time you went to the grocery store?”

“I buy groceries on an as needed basis,” you slurred out, propping yourself up on your elbows on the island to keep from tipping to one side.

“And you need food,” he laughed, kicking the fridge door closed and leaning against it, darkening the space again. You waved him off, instead turning around to see Levi staring inquisitively at your couch. You didn’t clean it off this morning before you went out. The blanket unfolded and your pillow still propped against the arm. An awkward rush of discomfort flooded into your chest. Something close to shame sat tightly against your sternum and you waited for Levi to say something. Anything really when he turned to you. But instead of asking the question you could practically see on the tip of his tongue, he took two steps towards you and grabbed the water bottle from your grip. You stared as he swallowed down a quarter of it in what seemed to be a singular gulp.

“That was mine,” you said, the words an offended whisper. Erwin chuckled from his spot behind you. You turned to glance at him and he simply shrugged. Your home felt so small when they were in it. Their two bodies somehow filled up the space in a way you couldn’t really describe. Other than that you liked it. Your home felt more complete with them in it. And the weird fluttering feeling you found in your stomach sometimes when in their company decided to make a reappearance.

“I should go to bed. I need to sleep off the liquor.”

“Great idea,” Erwin replied, pushing himself off of your fridge and tossing his now empty bottle into the recycling bin you kept next to the trash can. “You should take ibuprofen before you sleep, though. May help with the inevitable hangover.”

“Yeah yeah. Whatever you say, dad,” you laughed with a roll of your eyes. He responded with a similar gesture, the both of you smiling at each other at the end of it. You walked them to your door, taking a steady breath to brace for the cold that would seep in when you opened it. There was a pause in your doorway as the three of you looked out at the city night. Gentle snow flurries fell to the ground, the scene idyllic and calm. And the silence that fell over the city should have felt eerie since it so rarely happened. But you only saw beauty in that brief silence. Broken only by the sudden passing of the train.

“Good night,” you said as you stepped aside for them to walk out. As they walked past, Levi gave you a surprising hug. It was quick, but the squeeze of his arms around your shoulders was reassuring. And you would’ve returned it if he hadn’t released you so swiftly as if he shouldn’t have hugged you in the first place. Right after him, Erwin pressed a kiss to your temple. Unlike Levi, he lingered there for longer than would have been necessary between friends. Only to pull away with a whispered and returned “good night.”

You watched as they trotted down the steps, shutting your door only when you heard the opening of theirs. The space was yours again. Lonesome in its wake and a veil of knowing sorrow draped over the interior. But that was to be expected. And you found an odd comfort in it. Because above everything else, at the very least it was yours and no one could take that from you.

#the holidays are over i know but here this is anyways #eruri fanfic #eruri x reader #aot fanfiction #snk fanfiction

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desceros · 4 months

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symphony ch 20 is really giving 'let you break my heart again by laufey' and as i listen to it i feel everything ruining me all over again.

I FEEL LIKE THE LYRICS FIT VIOLA-CHAN IN HER SITUATION... IMAGINING HER CURLED UP IN HER ROOM THIS PLAYING ON BLAST .....

(hey. hey descreos. my fellow hopeless romantic. you should go listen to her discography.)

ooooooooh……ohhh………

#ask tag #symphony tag

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miikishii · 9 months

Text

To Hold the Sea | Ch. 4

main masterlist

series masterpost | previous chapter | next chapter

Synopsis: The night before you and Dazai leave the Port Mafia, anger gets the best of you; you want your now ex-lover to know how you feel.

Warnings: Angst and fighting. mentions of death. Season 2 Dark Era spoilers idk why you would be reading this not having watched season two yet but... idk.

Pairs well with Phoebe Bridgers and/or Mitski. Specifically thinking of Killer and A Pearl. OH also promise by Laufey :D Killer is so dark era Ango coded.

You don’t even think about how he might not be there. You barely even had to think about how to get there. When you storm into Ango’s home using the spare key, you don’t even think about how he isn’t surprised to see you. Not even how much of an unusual sight it is to see his house so untidy.

You freeze after shutting the door behind you. You barely know where to begin. You feel as though you’ve felt every human emotion in the past few days. You only stare at him, a blank but stern expression plastered onto your face.

“Is now a good time?”

You ask, almost politely, but Ango knows he doesn’t really have a choice.

“I know-”

He starts, but you cut him off quickly.

“What am I supposed to do now? What do you know, Ango? That you killed my best friend? That you killed your best friend?” He seemed to expect the cutoff. He is silent. He looks you in the eyes; his shame is evident. You wonder if he’s done this before; got attached to people he wasn’t supposed to. You wonder if he’s ever had it end like this.

“...I know what I did. I never wanted it to end like this, you must know that!”

Your face twists with bitter disgust, but part of you knows that, of course, he didn’t want to. Part of you is so very attached to this overworked shell of a man. He told you how tired he was. On hard nights he let you cry to him about every problem you’d ever had. You felt a love you now regret, not for what it was, but for what it’s created for you.

“I...I can’t look at you without seeing his blood on my hands..”

Your voice breaks. Your anger melts into sadness. You feel as though you haven’t just lost a friend but the structure of your life. Ango sees this, and part of him feels the same way. All the same, he feels like he doesn’t deserve to feel the way he does. He knows he hurt more than just you. Even if he knows he didn't kill Odasaku, he knows he's far too involved to escape the guilt.

“I know…” He whispers, his voice giving out towards the end. His desperation for everything to go back to normal is unmistakable. You feel it too. He treads over to you cautiously. He knows he isn’t wanted. He knows he should just sit down and stay quiet, let you yell and cry at him. But he can’t bring himself to stop.

“I didn’t know it would end like this. As soon as I knew what was happening, it was too late. I did my job, that’s all. It was out of my hands before I even knew it. You should know that.” his voice is meek and quiet. He’s pleading with you, begging for your understanding, knowing he will never get forgiveness.

“I swear that job will kill you someday! You-”

“I know that, I know-”

“Don’t you dare cut me off!” your aggression shuts him up quick, “You have no idea how much time I’ve spent worrying about you! And- I feel like such an idiot for that, don’t you get it? How could you have ever said- honestly- that you loved me? Was that part of your mission too?!” Your question takes him aback, his eyes darting back to you in concern,

“This is your fault!” You emphasize your words by gesturing to yourself, tears streaming, hands shaking, face contorted in anger. He moves in to hug you but is pushed back harshly.

“Don’t touch me.”

He moves back immediately, nearly tripping on his own feet.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes, eyes glued to the floor, “It changes nothing, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry to you, to Dazai, and to Odasaku. There’s not much I can do, I’m afraid.” He looks at you, his sincerity clear.

You think about the sweaters of yours that hang in his closet right now, the extra toothbrush he bought to keep for you in his bathroom, the side of his bed that has a dent shaped like you in it. You wonder if, in a different life, things could’ve been different. If there was a universe where your love could have been peaceful, normal even. You wonder again about those sweaters as you walk out the door, leaving the bag of his clothes he’d left at your place. He wants so badly to call out to you, to pull you back inside, to hold you again, to hear your voice comforting him. But he knows the end. And he thinks you might be better off without him.

note: this was actually the first chapter I wrote. sorry it's kind of short, so are the next few chapters if I don't fix it by the time they're posted. lol.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #ango x reader #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs #ango sakaguchi #bsd imagines #bsd ango #bsd dark era #dark era bsd #bsd angst #bungou gay dogs

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justastrugglinghotchocolate · 1 year

Text

Playlist For The Losing Game

They’re separated by character and are vaguely ordered by story progression. Since I didn’t have to write a whole lot for them, Dorian and Henry’s are quite short.

(I suggest reading up to ch 12 before opening because this is full of spoilers.)

Dorian

Million Miles Away from Belle (Kazue Mika’s Español ver because the lyrics hit way harder)

Lovesong- Beabadoobee

I Secretly Love U- Snail’s House- Seycara Ver.

Soulmate that wasn’t meant to be- Jess Benko

Credits Song for My Death- vivivivivi -Rasmodeus Q music box ver.

Henry

I Don’t Really Like Your Boyfriend- Avenue Beat

Up To No Good- The Hoosiers

You Get Me So High- The Neighborhood

Watching Him Fade Away- Mac DeMarco

Roland

My Type- Saint Motel

Arsonist’s Lullaby- Hozier

Our Word from 36 Questions

Technically Missing from Gone Girl

Sugar Storm from Gone Girl

SNOBBISM- Neru- Will Stetson Ver.

Blumenkranz from Kill la Kill

Gooey- Glass Animals

Sugar We’re Going Down but it’s creepier- Kade McCuen

Villainous Thing- Shayfer James

Main Title Suite (Bonus Track) from Don’t Look Up

Simplicity-Megan Wofford

Less Likely from The Vietnam War

The Devil Wears A Suit and Tie- Colter Wall

The Nowhere King from Centaurworld

The New Century from Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs

Basil

Let You Break My Heart Again- Laufey

And the Flowers Were Gray- Evelyn Stein

Until I Fall Asleep- Nastyona (Called “Nastyona #13” on Youtube)

Bubble Gum- Clairo

Background Noise from Gone Girl

Putting a spin on heather- egg

Ew- Joji- I like the live ver, but either works

Romantic Homicide- d4vd

Runaway- REI AMI

High Enough- K Flay

Biggering from the Lorax but it’s that super good part that makes you want to punt the Lorax and do meth

Leave Me Alone- IDKHBTFM

The Right Things from the Vietnam War

Putting a spin on slow dancing in the dark- egg

Just Like You from Gone Girl

The Fall- Lovejoy

Just Another Love Song- Mac DeMarco

Be Nice to Me- The Front Bottoms

Hot Chocolate- Dark Cat- Seycara Ver.

Beethoven’s 7th Symphony- ULTRAKILL ver

G Song- Terry Riley- perform by the Kronos Quartet

Occasionally Scared from Dispatches from Elsewhere

Mandus from Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs

Memento Mori from Don’t Look Up

Wishful Drinking- Tessa Violet

O Cometa- Rodrigo Amarante

Also shout out to SNOBBISM and Wishful Drinking. The former is literally just Roland’s entire character (completely by accident, i forgot about that song until September) and the latter is the theme song for entire story. And also to Seycara’s Hot Chocolate—highly recommend rereading that last Dorian and Basil scene in Chapter Twelve with it in the background.

#the losing game #i have had this playlist for SO LONG #I wanted to put it out literally weeks ago #but then this chapter took hella long #some of the songs are there because of their vibes rather than their intended meanings #playlist

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wackus-bonkus-maximus · 1 year

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Ahh! I finally!! Caught up to the latest chapter! I live for the angst but I dont think it’s good for my heart 😭

And may I suggest a few songs for the odnlb playlist?

Maybe the Night - Ben&Ben

Closer - The Tiny

More than a Memory - Carly Rae Jepsen

Home - Reese Lansangan

Let You Break my Heart Again - Laufey

Being Human - Emily King

hugging you for these song recs boos! a prime collection, truly.

this one is so soft gah. it's perfect for chapter 32, or at least for those 5 minutes of chapter 32 where ladynoir were actually together! i love the gentle hope woven in these lyrics especially "Moon has never glowed this color/ Hearts have never been this close/ I have never been more certain/ I will love you 'til we're old." they are IT for each other and this moment only reinforced it <333

youtube

i couldn't find this one on spotify SADLY but omggg the things it did to my heart. the piano and violin accompaniment was all this song needed to strike that sad, wistful, and sweet tone that colors ladybug's thoughts about chat noir. "And, you're close enough to lose/ Close to the point where you know that your mind/ It can not choose/ Close enough to lose." this one fits the mood of chapter 32 SO well aahhh. chat noir was right there and she couldn't even touch him :'( "And my heart was screaming/ At my bones/ I need you closer." aahhh! my heart is screaming at my bones too because this is exactly the way she was feeling!

don't mess with me boos i will add any and every carly rae song to the odnlb playlist if you give me a good enough reason. "Say my name (My name)/ 'Cause no one else can say it quite the same (The same)." lol this is v reminiscent of how lb was ACHING for cn to call her "my lady" only for it to finally happen at the worst possible moment. and then ahh the part "It takes me back to your September days/ I've missed you way too much (Too much, too much, too much)" & "And know that night I almost said I loved you/ (Loved you, loved you, loved you)/ And you almost said it back?" is SOOO collateral damage! those are the memories and good times they both want to get back to, and for a moment they had hope they could.

i see you with the "Oh my love/ My head is reeling/ And I am running out of air/ I need to breathe in" lyric. this went straight onto the playlist for that! and let us not forget "My bones are safe/ And my heart can rest/ Knowing it belongs to you/ My world is changed/ And it's cradled by/ The comfort that is you" which is the softest sweetest most ladynoir thing ever. it's been like this for both of them since their darkest moment, and it's stayed like that since, as seen in chapter 32! and ugh, my favorite "when we're alone, it's like we're home." yes absolutely yes to all of this, it's perfect.

the vibes on this one...omg </333 "Some day, one day/ I will stop falling in love with you/ Until I do, I'll be thinking of you/ Let you break my heart again" why do i hear this playing over ladynoir's reunion in ch 32?? it's the orchestral backtrack probably. they literally cannot stop being in love with each other even though it's impossible, even though it's only heartbreak.

hahahahahahaha YES!! "Just a little time/ Just a little something that I need/ Just a little time/ Just a little feeling gaining speed I'm dreaming of/ Going somewhere else/ Being human." imagine adrien listening to this and punching something hahaha. or felix hearing it and tearing up.

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shifterology · 18 days

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this license has been awarded to — s/her. 5teen. female. sagittarius. hispanic. bisexual. shifter. editor.

likes !

— my airpods, anime, movies, water, comics, books, exercise, spider-man, upbeat characters, spicy food, shopping, gaming, editing, tennis, valentine's day, jewelry, sleeping, hello kitty, pinterest, spotify, my moots, yapping, video essays.

dislikes !

— group projects, anxiety, bugs, fake friends, negative terms, sweets, drama, winter, horror, gore, etc.

currently !

— reading [ch. 150] jujutsu kaisen manga, [s1] watching the legend of korra, listening to valentine by laufey, thinking of [rots] anakin skywalker.

©SHIFTEROLOGY. the holder of this license has strictly prohibited reposts, translations, and modifications unless stated otherwise.

#xime.navi

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xianyoon · 3 months

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➤ 𝓨𝓘𝓝𝓖 ノ𝓨𝓘𝓝𝓖𝓖𝓘𝓔 ᯓ ⟡ ─── she/her. eighteen.

a sfw ノ suggestive genshin writing blog. ⟢ ophelia-certified best hostess.

『 ⌗ miss ying's crossing teahouse brews sfw teas & slightly spicier cocktails. minors are warned to view at their own risk – everything is properly labelled. MINORS TO BLOCK THE TAG [ # ― ying's dreams ] 』

you'd like to know about the cosy crossing cafe?

about me. rules. selfships.

inbox is open. requests are closed. irregular writing schedule.

affiliated with @astronetwrk & @nereidsrealm.

our crossing teahouse menu? right here!

masterlist. works in progress. events.

personal recs. tag index. theme playlist.

teahouse regulars can be found here.

mutuals ( one ) ( two ) ( three ). anon list.

taglist. communities the hostess is part of.

the crossing teahouse's theme song: island broadcast / nintendo

most recently served

sweet light of spring

not without you

smart bunny

master document of resources

the cafe hostess is . . .

currently listening to : it could happen to you laufey's version

currently watching : the apothecary diaries ( 3rd rewatch )

currently reading : i want to die but i want to eat tteokbokki baek sohee

currently writing : my great lost love ch. 2

come in, mon amie ! i have some tea for you !

previously : i23kazu 🌷 yinyinggie

2O24 xianyoon. no copying translating feeding to ai reposting on another webs.

#― adeptal navigation.#please like my pinned if you've read my rules!#dividers are from @animatedglittergraphics-n-more #animated dividers are from @enchanthings !

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tyrannuspitch · 1 year

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i've seen a lot of marvel fans doubt that loki was ~really~ abandoned, because he was left in a temple and because his jotun form has those markings which may be a symbol of his status as a prince... but. i've looked into it. and it turns out real life mediaeval norwegians literally WOULD perform their welcome-to-the-world rituals on disabled babies and then leave them in places of worship to die. :/ (x)

#space viking tag #//#ableism #infanticide #fun times doing historical research :/#meta #s: myth + history #s: t1 #ch: loki #ch: laufey #r: laufey + loki #th: imprisonment + exile #th: suicide + sacrifice #th: undeath + afterlife #th: disability

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speedgeek · 1 year

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Copying over old Marvel kinkmeme prompts from LJ:

Revolution is brewing in Asgard

Guards and servants are everywhere in the palace, so word of Thor's banishment, the All-Father falling into the Odinsleep and Loki's elevation to King by the Queen, Heimdall and council gets around fast. The guards are nearby to hear the Warriors 3 and Sif ask for Thor's return and Loki's rightful refusal. They disappear shortly after that and they were last seen heading for the Bifrost; it doesn't take a genius to figure out where they went and that Heimdall let them. The guards/servants know Loki saved a helpless Odin from Layfey. The next thing anyone else knows, the Bifrost is destroyed, Thor is back, and he is standing over Loki when he falls from the broken remains of the Rainbow Bridge.

Loki is well accustomed to secrets and working in the shadows. No one sees his plotting and manipulations. No one on Asgard knows what transpired in New Mexico. And after the events of the first movie are over, Odin feels no need to inform his subjects of what truly happened. Sif tells anyone who will listen of Loki's evil acts, but she is hardly a reliable source; it is well known how little she and Loki got along. Everything else comes from the whispers of the guards and the servants in the palace- and the story they tell is of a King betrayed by those closest to him, a King who was only trying to protect Asgard and live up to the example set by the All-Father, a King that died at the hand of his banished and violent brother.

In the time between Thor and the Avengers, Thor shows more humility and caution, but not much. He, Sif and the Warriors 3 start to realize (but not appreciate) how much Loki did for them. There is no Loki to smooth things over when Fandral has taken the wrong woman to bed, when Sif has lashed out and started a fight, when Hogan thinks his honor has been insulted, when Volstagg thinks his tavern tab is too high and refuses to pay. There is no magic to save them from danger on hunts. There is no Silvertongue to talk the All-Father around to their point of view. There is no Loki to come between Odin and Thor when father and son clash. There is no mischief to ease tensions around the palace.

Meanwhile, the guards are spreading the treasonous acts of Heimdall, Sif and the Warriors 3, unhappy that they were not punished for defying a rightful orders of the King and the All-Father. They find many willing ears, even among those that didn't particularly like Loki.

No one cares the Loki was a Frost Giant; half of Asgard, including the rest of the descendants of Buri, have giant blood as well. Queen Bestla, Odin's giantess mother, is still remembered quite fondly. Loki was raised Aesir and he was loyal to Asgard, that is all that matters to the masses. They don't care that he tried to destroy Jotanheim; Laufey should never have tried to go against Asgard and brought destruction upon his own realm. No one but the younger warriors care about the magic; sorcerers are a part of everyday life and the seasoned warriors of Bor and Odin's wars tell stories of the great battle sorcerers of Vanaheim and magic ice blades of Jotanheim before they both fell under Asgard's glorious rule. His mischief is frequently remembered with anger, but that is hardly something worth overthrowing a King for.

When Loki is returned to Asgard in chains after invading Earth, the chains are all the masses care about. Midgard is filled with nothing more than easily killed mortals that believe them to be gods. It was Loki's right as a prince of Asgard and as King to take control of that realm if he wished to. He needn't have involved the Chitari, there were plenty of restless warriors on Asgard that would have answered his call. They do not understand Thor's indignation, he's done the same thing before and will again.

The longer Loki stays locked up, the longer his betrayers remain unpunished, the more the resentment grows. The Dark Elves attack, the queen dies, Loki dies in chains, Thor leaves for Earth and his mortal lover again. Odin (Loki) is left alone to deal with the damage.

I see this as all taking place in the background of the the movies, nothing that was onscreen changing, then taking over after The Dark World ends. What does Thor return to after Age of Ultron?

Bonus: Loki is on the throne when Thor returns, not Loki-as-Odin…

#fic #marvel #norsekink prompts

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tokoyamisstuff · 3 years

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Scandal Ch. 4 - Loki x Reader

Summary: Nothing can stop the wrath of the God of Mischief, when he realizes he had been deceived by the people he trusted more than his beloved wife.

Warnings: Angst, Violence

Words: ~1700

"But what the world fails to realize is a villain is just a victim whose story hasn’t been told.” - Chris Colfer

I Story Masterlist I General Masterlist I

Taglist: @hi-there-x @haloangel391 @misssilencewritewell @babayaga67 @accioremuslupinn @mochimommy2002 @just-someone-who-likes-to-write @damalseer @bethanystan @loser-alert @star017 @nina1800 @queenariesofnarnia @n1fangirlsblog @vengefulsokovian @lunamoonbby @freyagallileaevans

A/N: This is a rather boring chapter, but we’re far from done!

“She already left several moons ago. It was her own wish, we did not force her.”

“Where to?”

“Midgard.”

Loki was long back on Asgardian territory, yet his mind couldn’t find peace. Well, how could he, now knowing what Laufey told him?

His world had already crumbled to dust when he left you behind - but if Laufey spoke the truth, his whole existence had been built on lies from the very start.

Not knowing where to search for answers, the prince sneaked into Odin’s forbidden chambers, walking in the shadows protecting him in the midst of night.

There it was: The Cascet of Ancient Winters - the very relic that doomed the fate of your newborn, revealing it’s shameful blood to all of Asgard.

It just urged him to try and see for himself, even if the truth would shatter his heart.

“STOP!”

Loki wouldn’t even flinch at the Allfather’s words, already tightly holding the cascet in both hands.

“Am I cursed?”

The God of Mischief wouldn’t even dare to turn around and look at the person he always ever thought to be his father - for as soon as he laid fingers on the cascet, he began turning into that same shade of blue your son did.

Panic began to rise in the young god, fearing to be killed by the people he loved so dearly shall they lay eyes upon what he truly was. His chest began to tighten, fastened breath turning into a cold mist.

“No” was Odin’s firm but unsatisfying answer, to which Loki only responded by putting down the cascet.

“What am I?”

“You’re my son.” His words came from the heart, not even faltering as Loki turned around to present his Jotun form to the Allfather.

“What more than that?!” he almost growled in between gritted teeth, appearance slowly returning to his usual self.

At that deepest, darkest day in his life yet, Loki would be too blinded by betrayal and rage to see his father’s true love towards his adoptive son.

“The cascet wasn’t the only thing you took back from Jotunheim that day, was it?” The prince took firm steps towards the man that he had known all his life, but had become a complete stranger towards him through that sole moment.

Again, only a “no.”

Loki’s mind was racing, thinking about what else may have been hidden from himself - and what kind of consequences that revelation had for everything he had done up until now.

“In the aftermath of the battle, I went to the temple -- and I found a baby” the Allfather continued, “Small, for a giant’s offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die...”

“...Laufeyson” Loki completed Odin’s sentence. So every word the King of the Jotunns had said was indeed a fact.

“W-W-why?!” he almost whined, voice weak and defeated. “You were knee deep in Jotun blood, why would you take me?”

“You were an innocent child-”

“No.” The God of Lies himself had become so sick of being fed those, starting to snap. “You took me for a purpose. What was it???”

For what felt like an eternity, there was only silence.

The image of that small, blue child in his arms had been painfully burned into his heart back then. But now that he knew the story behind all of this, it held a completely different meaning.

Just like he had been abandoned back on that frozen rock, he had abandoned his own child, as well as the love of his life.

Outcast, abused, left to die...and now, god knows what had happened to you...

That secret had destroyed more than just his own life. It had ruined the only honest happiness he was ever given - you, and his son.

“TELL ME!”

He just needed to know: The reason behind all the pain and suffering he had to endure - and caused to others as well.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace...through you.”

That was just too much for Loki to bear. “What?” he reacted with a barely-there voice, every word of his father shooting daggers through his heart.

“But those plans no longer matter.” No matter what Odin might want to explain, Loki wasn’t able to listen to any more, jumping into his own conclusions.

“So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up inside of here until you might have use for me?!” he croaked, afraid of the answer.

“Do not twist my words.”

“You could told me what I was from the beginning!” he now yelled, furious at how virtuous Odin would still defend his own action. “Why didn’t you?”

“You’re my son” he repeated once again. “I only wanted to protect you from the truth.”

“Why, ‘cause I-I-I-I’m the monster people tell their children about at night?!” Loki clenched his fists, fingernails drawing blood to his palm.

“At least when my son was born, you should’ve dropped the charade!” Pure agony was dripping from every syllable, and for a mere second, his eyes were glistering bright red once again. “You’ve forsaken two innocent lives - the most important beings in my pathetic existence - and now you’ve burdened me with their suffering as well!”

That sure was a miracle - how a person so broken from the beginning wouldn’t collapse under pressure that huge.

“It all makes sense now, why you favoured Thor, all those years! Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!”

But who cares about the throne, honestly? Not him. Not anymore. Ever since he knew you.

It all dawned to him now: What he could have, if only he had put his trust in you like so many times before.

All his life, he only ever remembers a shadow. At first, he thought it to be the shadow of his brother, or never being enough for his own father. Maybe the other Asgardians looking down on him, making him feel like he doesn’t belong.

Yet in the end, that very shadow was inside of his own mind.

But you?

You had loved Loki with all of your heart, banishing the darkness from his mind through your bright affection.

It didn’t matter to you what anyone thought of him - or even what he thought himself to be.

Because you saw him for what he really was, and he found peace with that.

And he was certain that it wouldn’t matter to you whether he called himself Odinson or Laufeyson - as had you loved his child dearly, ever since he took his first breath.

He could never make up for that greatest of his sins, Loki knew that much.

Or...?

“Where are you going, my son?”

Reluctantly, Loki made his way past the man he now only considered a stranger. Still, when Odin tried to reach out to him, Loki immediately ducked away, startled and afraid for his true nature to hurt anyone.

More than ever before, the God of Mischief despised himself to the core of his being. He was lost, confused, shocked - and still, determined.

“Creating a Kingdom for my family.”

___

[Earth, 2 months later]

On times like these, you thought your mind was betraying you.

Especially when you catched yourself reminiscing sweet, innocent moments - far back in the past, before everything you ever held dearly got destroyed.

You still felt his touch, feather-light on your skin, as well as his scent haunting your memories. And sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder how life would have been, well...if things were different.

Frantically shaking your head, you clasped the book closed and threw it into a corner of the small one-room-flat SHIELD had provided for you.

Your magical pockets were always almost empty, except for a few necessities - and that book. It held the first flower Loki ever gifted you, and you had dried it in between those pages so it would never lose it’s beauty.

But now, remembering meant pain - because Loki Laufeyson would never come back.

For he is dead.

Fell of the Bifrost, as confirmed by Heimdall, who secretly kept in touch with you all this time. So you knew it all: Of his grief and treason, which slowly led him into madness.

And what did you do in the meantime?! Nothing at all!

You should’ve tried everything, anything to get back and help him go through that time of need, hel!

“Endure it, Y/N...you need to stay strong...for Liam.” After so many times of telling those words to yourself, you doubted them to have any effect on your broken heart at all.

Yet it would never fail to keep you going. For that wonderful child was proof of your love, and now your last memory of him.

Rocking the small Jotun to sleep, tears found their way to your eyes like so many times before, dropping to the baby’s face unnoticed.

So you tried to sing your pain away as you cooed that little wonder to sleep.

“Å eg lengtar så tidt dette landet å sjå, Og det dreg meg så blidt, når eg langt er ifrå. Med den våknande vår vert min saknad so sår, så mest gråta, mest gråta eg kan. Å eg minnest, å eg minnest, å eg minnest så vel dette land. Å eg minnest, å eg minnest, å eg minnest så vel dette land.”

*Translation:

“Oh I long so long to see this land, And it pulls me so gently, when I'm far away. With the waking spring host my missing so sore, so most cry, most cry eg can. Oh I remember, oh I remember, oh I remember this country as well. Oh I remember, oh I remember, oh I remember this country as well.”

#Loki #Loki x Reader #Loki x You #Loki / Reader #Loki / You #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Odinson #Loki Friggason #God of Mischief #Loki x Y/N #Self Insert #Writing #Fanfiction #Jotunn #Jotunheim #Asgard #Frost Giant

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worstloki · 3 years

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Just read ch 11 of portal to the past and may i say WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CHAPTER never thoughg i would be soft for loki and laufey's relationship this was so beutiful and soft and wholesome and awesome god im crying

i thought i was being covert with sneaking wholesomeness and angst into my lighthearted comedy fic, alas,

#bahgyukshh asdias thank you bshabjfjklew ssbj a #im happy you liked it :')

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scarredwithcruelintentions · 3 years

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The Harder I Try Song List

Transcription of song titles and artists for the playlist attached to my fic by the same name, in case you don't have Spotify or want to take a look at it before listening!

Basically all alternative and indie titles, there are three songs per chapter (except for 7, 10 & 11, which have six, six, and nine respectively; oops) that loosely follow the events of the chapter in question. Listen to them in order while reading or put them on shuffle; doesn't really matter since it's all good music! Here's everything that's been posted so far:

Ch 1

Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes - Fall Out Boy

Dominic’s Interlude - Halsey, Dominic Fike

Chlorine - Twenty One Pilots

Ch 2

Fast in My Car - Paramore

EAT SPIT! (feat. Royal & the Serpent) - Slush Puppy

Where Is My Mind? - Pixies

Ch 3

anxiety (with FRND) - blackbear

What You Need - Bring Me The Horizon

Everlong - Foo Fighters

Ch 4

forget me too (feat. Halsey) - Machine Gun Kelly

Gives You Hell - The All-American Rejects

Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliche’ - Escape the Fate

Ch 5

Ain’t It Fun - Paramore

I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance

Bad At Love - Halsey

Ch 6

Drama Queen - Delacey

Meet Me At Our Spot - THE ANXIETY, WILLOW, Tyler Cole

You Were - Field Guide

Ch 7

Kilby Girl - The Backseat Lovers

Strangeness And Charm - Florence + The Machine

fuck, i luv my friends - renforshort

Slow Burn - Kacey Musgraves

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

You asked for this - Halsey

Ch 8

Motion Sickness - Phoebe Bridgers

Shadow Moses - Bring Me The Horizon

fleabag - YUNGBLUD

Ch 9

love song - YUNGBLUD

This is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco

Next to You - New West

Ch 10

Midnight City - M83

Like the Movies - Laufey

Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron & Wine

Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier

Sparks - Coldplay

bloody valentine - Machine Gun Kelly

Ch 11

Guru - Coast Modern

Girl With One Eye - Florence + the Machine

Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation

.stage 4 fear of trying. - Frank Iero

929 - Halsey

Paralyzed - Sueco

Habits (Stay High) - (Hippie Sabotage Remix) Tove Lo

Tongue Tied (with YUNGBLUD & blackbear) - Marshmello

The Drug In Me Is Reimagined - Falling In Reverse

Read the fic!

#spotify #song list #playlist #fic inspired #fic companion #original story #vikings #ivar x reader #ivar x ofc #ivar ragnarsson #reader insert #original female character #modern au #college au

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fanfic-fangirl · 4 years

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My Little Mortal ch 1

My Curse to Bare

Summary: My take on The Little Mermaid, with some Beauty and the Beast elements thrown in!

This is also, a Dark Fairy tale

Loki is a merman, cursed by his father, Odin, after centuries of violent attacks against The Kingdom Above the Waves. Believing they were responsible for the death of his mother, Frigga, he vows revenge and kills any and all humans, who cross his path.

After centuries of separation and failure to un-curse himself, Loki comes across a lost mortal. Curious how she made it to their realm, and the unknown force that seems to pull him towards her, at every chance.

Warnings: violence, mentions of abuse, major character death, attempted sexual assault, magic, dark magic, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, swearing,

MASTERLIST SERIES MASTERLIST

First Impressions

A few days passed before Loki woke up again. He opened his eyes and looked around, slightly confused when he realized he was laying on his bed in the palace. He finally realized, nothing looked right. Colors that used to be bright and vibrant, now looked dull and lifeless, he still felt hollow like something was missing and there was a slight chill in the water. He didn't remember everything feeling this cold. He tried to think back to what happened between him and his father, he couldn't remember the words that were spoken, only the sadness on his father's face before he placed a hand over his heart.

“Brother! You're awake!” Thor beamed when he swam into Loki's room and saw him sitting up in his bed.

“Thor? What am I doing here? What happened?” He asked, his voice a little rougher than usual.

“In good time brother. How are you feeling?” Thor asked, sitting next to Loki on his bed.

“Still a little tired and like I was tossed around by a family of whales.” Thor let out a small chuckle.

“Father said you might feel that way.”

“Where is father? I need to speak with him.” Loki asked.

“He's gone Loki.” Thor replied, Loki missing the look of sadness on Thor's face.

“When will he be back?” Loki asked, lying back down in his bed, eyes closed.

“He won't. Don't you remember what happened?” Thor asked, giving his brother a look of concern.

“Everything's a little fuzzy and cloudy. I remember he said something, then placed his hand here.” Loki said, moving his hand over his heart, “Then nothing but excruciating pain.”

Thor let out a heavy sigh, “Laufey tried kill to you, Loki.” Loki shot up, staring at Thor in disbelief. “He used the last of his life force to kill you as a punishment for father. Father wasn't going to let Laufey kill you and the death curse hit him instead. He's gone.” Thor was more somber than Loki had ever seen him before.

“Why would Laufey want to kill me, after spending decades training me?” Loki asked, realizing Thor's explanation wasn't making much sense.

“He was using you. He was angry with our father for keeping you and raising you.” Thor sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “There's no easy or gentle way to say this. Loki, Laufey is........no, was your biological father.”

“WHAT! How was that monster my father?” he asked, the look in his eyes, pleading for Thor to admit it was some kind of sick joke.

“Come, lets get you some food and I'll tell you everything.” Thor said, pushing himself off Loki's bed and offering him his hand. Loki looked at the offered hand, then at his brother, who just smiled at him. Knowing Thor would tell him nothing if he didn't agree, Loki had no choice. Despite how betrayed and angry he felt, he took Thor's hand and followed him to the dinning hall.

After eating and listening to Thor explain everything, Loki retreated to the library. He needed to find any information about what happens, when to the recipient of a death spell who continues to live, after the spell hit an unintended target.

Centuries later, the dark prince was still searching for any information on his condition. He had moved out of the palace and into a home on the outskirts of the royal city. Thor still gave him full access to the library and still went to him for advice and council, but Loki had all but locked himself away, consumed with trying to find out any information on his condition.

He had heard about an old sorceress in another city, who was older than his father or mother would be, were either of them still alive. He had gone to see her in the hopes that she would be able to tell him about his current condition. She just laughed at him and told him to give up his quest and just enjoy life. Loki could tell she knew exactly what was wrong with him, he even called her out on it. All she told him, was that no one would be able to explain his curse, not because they didn't want to, but they physically wouldn't be able to. Anyone who continued to try, would have their tongue turn to sand.

What she wanted to tell him was that it wasn't a spell, but a curse, which she merely hinted at, knowing he'd catch it. His particular curse was unbreakable. It wasn't the spirits that decided the penance, but the soul itself. It would be the other half of Loki's soul that would decide when it was time to return, if it ever decided to return. If the soul decided never to return, Loki would remain. Indefinitely. He would watch everyone he ever knew and loved, live long and happy lives. Watch them grow old and die, surrounded by those who loved them. Loki would never find that kind of peace, he would remain, cursed to swim the tides for all eternity. Eventually becoming insane, losing the other half of his soul, forgetting who he was and becoming an immortal monster of the deep. She wanted to tell him to forget about his condition and concentrate on trying to woo back his other half, but the curse was stronger than her, and she couldn't. If she was being completely honest, she wasn't sure he'd even be successful, even if she had been able to tell him.

He was on his way back home, thinking about her words, when a shadow passed over him. With the ocean and land realms being separated, it was very rare for anything to float on the surface. Over the centuries, he had discovered that, occasionally, a doorway between the two realms would open randomly. It was always a fixed position in his realm, but when it opened on the land realm, it was random. When the doorway was open for an extended length of time, sometimes, a kelp patty would find it's way through. This was the closest to joy he ever felt, as there was always something delicious hiding in the kelp. So he always made it a point to visit the area he knew the gateway to be. On occasion, he would even share with Thor.

Feeling rather hungry after swimming such a distance from the old woman's home, he looked around to make sure no one was around, before swimming towards the patty to see what might be hiding inside. The closer he got, the less it looked like a kelp patty and the more it looked like floating debris. Being curious by nature, he continued making his way towards the patty. Upon closer inspection, this was like no patty he had ever seen before, it was a horrid orange color with one large white stripe on each of the sides, there were no leaves, and definitely no delectable creatures hiding within. Curious about the texture, he cautiously extended a finger and poked it. Poking it a few more times, certain it wasn't some unknown sea creature lying in wait to attack him, he put both hands on it. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before. The skin was similar to that of a shark, rough and almost leathery, but not really leathery. He had no idea how to describe it, this was something new and could only have come from the world of mortals. He swam around the entire perimeter, noting that it was exactly the same all the way around, before he ventured underneath, still running his hand along it, feeling the texture and what he could only assume were some sort of decorative markings. They were firm and stiffer than the rest of the object. He thought they might be some kind of boning to protect it from attack. He thought it odd that in the center, it hung lower in the water and the shape was rather lumpy and round. Considering how uniform the rest of the object was, this didn't make sense. He took a few minutes to ponder what it could possibly be, before placing both hands on it and giving a slight push. He heard a muffled scream and watched as it changed shape and moved. Now, instead of one large round mass in the middle, there were four, two smaller and two that were long and thin. They kept moving about and making strange muffled noises. He knew before the curse, this would have really got his blood pumping and excited, now, he felt nothing. There was no joy in his new discovery, no excitement, nothing, just empty curiosity.

Wanting to know what it looked like above the water, he swam to one of the sides, keeping most of his body underneath the large mass, he cautiously peeked out from underneath it, his eyes went wide when he saw a face staring back at him. He quickly ducked back under the creature's belly, watching as the shapes began moving around making strange noises again. Not wanting to risk an attack from it's head, and since it hadn't tried to alter it's position or attack him, he swam to the opposite side. He couldn't help but feel slightly irritated and angry with the situation, he knew he should be feeling excited and his heart should be racing, but with being cursed, all he could feel were negative emotions, and he hated it.

He heard the creature emit a high pitched squeal and couldn't help his curiosity, he watched again as the shapes began to move towards where he had seen the head. Deciding the creature was distracted with where he had been, he took advantage of the distraction and poked his head out of the water, not being able to see above the creatures sides, he placed a hand on what he thought was it's backside. Satisfied that the creature wouldn't turn and attack him, he pulled himself up and looked over the edge, quickly realizing that it wasn't a creature at all, but it held a creature. He stared in confusion at what he assumed was it's backside, wanting to get a closer look and not wanting to draw the creature's attention, he slowly and cautiously, pulled himself up and over the side. With most of his tail hanging over the edge and one hand supporting him, he began to reach out to the odd looking appendage in front of him, wanting so badly to touch it. Looking up, to make sure it was still distracted, he was surprised when he saw it looking back at him. Both frozen, as they made eye contact and their brains tried to process what they were seeing, Loki quickly pulled his hand away as the creature let out a shrill scream and began flailing about. He rolled his eyes as it fell over the side and splashed into the water. Allowing himself to glide back into the water, he watched as the creature flailed in the ocean, creating too many bubbles in it's struggle, not allowing him to see clearly what it was. He watched as it tried to climb back inside, screaming as it did. If this thing wasn't careful, it was going to draw the attention of a guard, and then he'd never get to examine it while it was still alive. With a huff, he swam over and underneath it, trying to be cautious of it's flailing limbs, he put his hands on what he hopped was some part of it's body and used a little magic to help push it back in the floating contraption. He heard more screaming by the creature, climbing over the side like he had done earlier, he shook his head as he watched it try to scurry away from him. Irritated beyond belief with it, he used more magic to silence it and hold it still.

“I swear, if you don't stop making such a commotion, you're going to draw the attention of the guards and my oafish brother, and I'll never get a good look at you. Now hold still and be silent.” He growled, satisfied that his magic was doing it's part. With his current condition, he was nowhere near as powerful as he was before, but he still had more than the average sorcerer.

“What are you?” He asked, as he allowed himself to slide into the contraption. He normally wouldn't allow himself to get this close to something new, especially out of the water. But with it being restrained by his magic, and how easily it will be to slide right back into the water, he felt the risk was worth it.

He took his time looking the creature over, assessing it for any threats, it had no claws, appeared to have no sharp teeth, but it definitely had the biggest, ugliest eyes he'd ever seen! He knew it was scared, could smell the fear rolling off it, he wasn't sure if the rapid breathing was normal or because it was scared, he assumed it was the former. Looking at it, he could have sworn it had more appendages before falling in the water, now, it appeared to only have two on it's lower half.

“Will you calm down, I'm not going to hurt you!” He hissed, irritated that it was breathing so heavily.

He reached out and poked one of it's lower appendages. He gasped, feeling a small jolt run through his finger, he quickly pulled his hand back. He stared at the creature in front of him, curious how it shocked him. The only thing he knew that emitted a shock like that, were jellyfish, but this creature was much to solid to be a jellyfish.

Curious if he would feel a second jolt, he reached out again and touched the same spot. Nothing, though the creature did try to flinch away, he assumed that meant it must have felt the jolt as well. He sighed as he saw it's muscles continue to contract as if it was trying to get way from him.

“It's magic, you won't be able to move. Like I said, I'm not going to hurt you, so just calm down.” He said, looking in it's grotesque eyes. Deciding he was more curious about it's hideous face, than it's lower half at the moment, he pulled himself closer to it. Watching as it's eyes got bigger and the breathing quicker as it struggled in the magic binding.

“You are a curious looking thing aren't you? Has the Kingdom above the Waves really changed so much since we left it?” He asked, grabbing it's face and turning it to the side.

“You're eyes are absolutely disgusting! What would cause them to develop in such a way?” he asked, touching the side, not wanting to hurt the creature, at least not to much.

“Interesting, you have hair, but then why has this piece of skin grown over it in such a way? Were you injured some how? A birth defect, perhaps?” He asked, running his finger along the odd band.

“Wait, it's not a part of you. A covering for your eyes? How intriguing!” He said, turning the creatures face and forcing it to look directly at him.

Tapping the odd material, with a slight smirk, as the creatures eyes flinched. His curiosity really was getting the better of him, he, not so gently, pulled the eye coverings up and off the creature's face. More intrigued by the coverings than the creature at the moment, after turning them over a few times in his hands and tugging on the odd band, he held them up to his face and looked through them just as the creature had done. He heard an odd sound come from the creature, still holding the coverings to his face, he looked at it. It looked as though it was trying not to laugh at him, smiling as it bit it's lower lip.

“No. You can't be. It's been centuries.” he said, almost breathlessly, lowering the coverings, astonished that the creature in front of him was a mortal. A human.

With a wave of his hand, the magic bindings released. Still in shock, he didn't hear what it said, just watched as it stretched it's limbs and made itself comfortable in front of him. He couldn't believe it, had humans found a way into the realm? Had his father's spell been undone? No, he'd have felt it if it had. The only way it could have gotten here was from one of the gateways, most likely, by accident.

Then that meant, he was in the human's ship, looking at it again, it was the oddest ship he had ever seen, it wasn't even made of wood, he wondered what kind of creature they had used to make it. The ship had no apparent way to propel itself, and no sail to catch the wind. So did it just rely on the currents to carry it, is that how it ended up in his ocean?

Turning his attention back to the creature, he hadn't even realized it had been talking to him, it's hands moving about animatedly, the curiosity and fascination in his blue-green eyes. The coverings this human wore were so much different than what he remembered them wearing. They seemed lighter and there was definitely less of them. His eyes roamed the human's body a little more, he never could tell the males from the females. Though gauging from the higher pitch in it's voice, the more fair facial features, he felt pretty confident in his assumption, that this one was female. or, quite possibly, a very young male. He was amazed at how much this female could talk, she'd been talking since the binding had been released. He'd always thought human females could never speak, not that he'd ever seen one before, and definitely, not this close. This was the closest he'd ever been to a human.

He was brought out of his thoughts when she jumped and attacked him. Startled by the light shock she sent through him, he pushed her off and away, then pulled himself back into the water, swimming away as fast as he could. Hearing a splash, he stopped.

Have the mortals developed gills? He thought, turning around to see her swimming towards him, strange, gurgling sounds coming from her. Of course it's still talking!

He watched as she stopped, her hand covering her mouth as she quickly swam back towards the surface. What amazed him wasn't the fact that she could swim, though he was surprised. No, it was the way she swam, she used her lower limbs in the same manner he does. She didn't use them separately, like all the drowning humans he had seen. She used them as if they were her tail. She was oddly graceful in her swimming and he could almost imagine her having a tail. Forgetting about the little shock she had given him, he swam back to her, watching as she broke the surface, her limbs once again moving individually. He wasn't that surprised to hear her gasping when his head breached the surface.

“So that's what the coverings are for, they allow you to see under water. You mortals sure have gotten clever over the centuries.” he smirked as he watched her remove them from her face.

He was shocked to see her smiling at him again, her eyes sparkling and so alive. He had never seen eyes so bright and vivid. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen such beautiful colors, he never wanted to stop looking at them, they were mesmerizing.

The trance she had him under was broken when she made some odd squealing noise and started talking again. He rolled his eyes and they landed on her ship, behind her. A good distance behind her. With the speed of the current, he was pretty sure if she didn't swim for it now, she'd never catch up to it. He tried to draw her attention to it, looking at it, pointing, but she was so busy talking, she didn't notice. He let out an irritated huff, put one hand on the top of her head, the other on her shoulder and turned her around, forcing her to look in that direction and, much to his relief, silencing her. Though it didn't last long, she made another odd squealing noise and began swimming towards her ship. He was intrigued by the way she swam this time, not like a fish, but again, moving each limb separately, he was surprised at the speed. She would never be able to out-swim him like that, but it was still somewhat impressive. Quickly realizing that without his help, she would never catch her vessel, he shrugged his shoulders and began his journey back home.

What was one more dead mortal to him?

#loki x reader/oc #loki x reader #loki x oc #loki #thor #little mermaid au #the little mermaid

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