#ch: dorian storm
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tfw your crush sings you a song via sending stone ♡ / shop
#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#dorym#dorian x orym#orym#critical role#critical role fanart#bell's hells#ch: orym#ch: dorian storm#ship: dorian x orym#tv: critical role#art: critical role#*my art#they're... so cute...#liam sure knows how to play pining huh#im desperate for robbie to come back
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Look at Us Now — Ch. 10
Fic masterlist
*Nods to Nonnie who sent me a prompt the other week*
Warnings: language, mentions of thiefs and orgies
Words: 3,7k
“OH MY GOD.”
Aelin’s screams made Rowan jump out of the couch, pulse racing as he sprinted towards the sound. He didn’t mean to fall asleep there, it must be the middle of the night already.
His shoulders dropped in relief when he found her safe, just whisper-yelling with her head sticking out the window.
“What’s going on?”
Aelin had her eyes narrowed, arms crossed. “We have a thief.”
“A thief?”
It’s not that Rowan thought she was lying, but breaking into anything military-related was a suicide mission. This house was as safe as it could get.
“Well, it has to be a thief, since he’s climbing into windows like one,” Aelin explained in a voice higher than necessary for Rowan to hear.
“Oh, come on!” Said thief protested from the outside.
When Rowan approached the window to assess the situation, his whole body froze. Obnoxiously shiny black hair, sapphire blue eyes and taller than he liked to imagine. Rowan hoped he’d never meet Dorian Havilliard, his baby mama’s ex-boyfriend, but there he was, about to climb Fenrys’ window
“Front door, now!” Aelin’s voice was commanding, and apparently her ex knew when there was no fighting her.
She didn’t wait for him to grab her snack bowl and storm down the hallway, which was good, since it gave Rowan space to strangle his roommate.
He elbowed his friend who’d just left his room and whispered, “What the fuck did you do?”
Fenrys had the gall to do a military salute. “I stole her man, like I promised you I would.”
Yes, he did promise that when Rowan was in jail. No, it didn’t make him feel better.
“Seriously? Of all the people in the world, him?”
Fenrys’ shoulders dropped like a child’s when being scolded. “But he’s so hot!”
Rowan could take this argument further, but that’d entail admitting Aelin’s ex was hot. Instead, he moved to the living room to find her bickering with Dorian.
Aelin had her arms crossed over her heavy bump. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know you were staying here!”
“Then why didn’t you just use the front door?”
“Fen told me not to!” Dorian pointed at his pants. “Do you think these were made for climbing windows?”
Fenrys moved closer to them and cleared his throat. “Aelin, I really appreciate your friendship, but I won’t apologize for stealing your man.”
Her eyes widened, and her head tilted back a beat later, a loud laugh booming out of her. She held a finger up for a few seconds, silently asking them to wait until she recovered. “Fen, I wouldn’t care if you fucked him when we were dating. I definitely don’t need an apology from you now.”
Dorian clutched his chest in a wounded stance. “Ouch!”
She rolled her eyes, chuckling. “Oh, come on.”
Rowan’s narrowed eyes darted between Fenrys and his boy toy. “So you two are a thing now?”
“Not really.” Dorian shrugged. “I’m kinda going through a slut phase now that I’m single.”
Aelin clamped her lips together as she tried not to laugh again. “You were always in a slut phase.”
Rowan crossed his arms, assessing those two. He knew they had an open relationship, but he was starting to grasp how open it was.
This was so hard to understand. If Rowan had the chance to tie Aelin down, he wouldn’t even give her time enough to see other people, let alone almost every day, like she did with Rowan months ago.
He wasn’t trying to judge their previous relationship, but it was really hard to understand someone who had everything in his hands and still seeked other people.
Now that Aelin seemed calmer, Dorian gave a pointed look to the snack she left at the coffee table. He inched closer and picked the food Rowan made for Aelin, inspecting it from every angle imaginable.
“Pregnant women are so weird.” He sniffed the dried mango with mustard and gummy bears and wrinkled his nose. “Is this even edible?”
Aelin drew a slow smirk and wiggled her eyebrows before saying, “Not the kind of edible we’d eat when we were residents.”
The ache from Rowan’s tense jaw spread to his other muscles as well. His hands twitched as he held back from grabbing Aelin’s ex by his shiny dark hair and—
It didn’t matter. Aelin was single, and she decided to do a friendly co-parenting thing with him. Her previous relationship didn’t matter now.
~~
Rowan: What do you usually buy for Girls’ Night?
Rowan: I mean snacks.
Completely at loss, he wandered around the store closest to his home, only taking note of what was available until Aelin replied to his texts. Fenrys and Lorcan were currently at his home watching Maisie, and they had kicked Rowan here because, apparently, the snacks at his house were too organic and lame.
The thing is, Rowan’s never hosting parties, he’s usually dragged into them. But their therapist told him to do something with the sole purpose of having a good time, so there he was. Even though he didn’t know exactly why. He thought therapy was supposed to be about his family. Why was Yrene trying to give him homework that doesn’t involve Aelin?
Rowan felt his muscles loosening when his phone pinged with Aelin’s notification. It was torture to tone down his previous multiple calls a day, but at least she became more receptive when he reached out.
Aelin: can’t tell
Aelin: the girls’ night lore is exclusive to ellie and i
Aelin: but it’ll be passed down to maisie when the time comes
He trailed his eyes on the ceiling. She had to be joking, right?
Rowan: Please?
He frowned at his phone when she stayed too long without replying. Maybe that wasn’t a joke after all.
Rowan: Aelin?
Aelin: sorry
Aelin: i was driving
Rowan: And texting.
Aelin: just in the red light. don’t fuss.
Aelin: at least until i find some good dry shampoo. i can’t die with greasy hair.
His fingers hovered over the keyboard as an idea struck him. Rowan was pretty sure people bought those at pharmacies, and he knew the one she frequented the most is on the same block he was at.
Rowan: Are you close to home?
Rowan: I’m at the convenience store
Rowan: Maybe you could come by and help me out?
Yes, he knew she could very well just text a suggestion on snacks to buy. It fleetingly crossed his mind, but it didn’t sound near as nice as the idea he proposed.
It seemed like Aelin didn’t agree with him, by the way the typing balloon popped in and out of his screen many times.
Rowan: But that’s not very practical, now that I think about it.
Rowan: I hope you find your dry shampoo.
He pocketed his phone and focused back on the food shelves, trying to ignore the feeling of his dropping stomach. What was he thinking? Of course Rowan could buy drinks and snacks by himself. He was an independent man, he didn’t need Aelin to host anything.
After gathering half of what he needed to make a decent charcuterie board, the fridge with the drinks caught his eye. He’d follow the rule he established with Aelin and not drink while being in charge of Maisie, but maybe Fenrys and Lorcan would want some.
Rowan never knew how much pressure to apply to break the refrigerator’s vacuum seal, so he was met with the sound of bottles clinking together as soon as he opened the beer fridge. He used his hand to steady one of the shaky bottles when he noticed its design. Grabbing it to exam it closer, he noticed its unusually bright colors, and—
“Be careful, that’s a gay man’s beer,” an older man beside him warned, looking at the colorful beer bottle as if it was a bomb.
Nodding tightly, Rowan felt his body temperature rise. He knew he looked unapproachable to strangers, so it was a mystery why this stranger thought he’d be a good buddy to insult minorities together.
“That’s good, then.” Rowan schooled his body into a relaxed expression. He wore a lazy smirk while added some of the controversial bottles into his basket. “Because that’s not the gayest thing I’ll be putting in my mouth tonight,” he lied, but the horror on the stranger’s face was worth it.
The man blanched, his mouth opening and closing until he sputtered, “Um, sorry… yeah.” And left.
However, behind the stranger, there was a very shellshocked Aelin. Her eyes were bulged out of her face, mouth hanging open.
“I don’t think I was meant to hear that,” she said in a shaky tone.
he knew he needed to reply to her, but it was hard to gather words. Aelin was wearing a golden, metallic cropped top along with some tailored white pants. He swallowed, feeling his now erratic breathing worsen the warmth spreading over his body. This was some unusual attire, and his unusual reaction was proof of that.
“Where are you going?”
“Out.” She glanced around, scratching the back of her neck, before giving his basket a pointed look. “You’re doing great there, with the snack shopping. I’ll send you some pictures of Elide’s table from last Girls’ Night. You’ll know what to do.”
When Aelin turned around to leave, Rowan froze. She was wearing a bun, probably because of the dry shampoo situation, and Rowan could see every freckle on her back. His eyes widened with the sight and he flexed his hands, trying to get rid of a sudden ache there. Aelin wasn’t wearing a shirt, this was a scrap of golden fabric being held by three thin straps in the back.
Why would Aelin come here just to tell him that and leave? And why did she look so flustered after—
She didn’t think what he said was real, did she?
Feeling his heart beat out of his throat, Rowan fumbled with his phone, almost letting it fall at some point, to type the only thing he could think of.
Rowan: I am NOT going on a gay date
Rowan: Aelin
Rowan: Talk to me
Typing. Not typing. Typing. Not typing. Typing… Aelin was going to kill him like this.
Aelin: it’s okay, rowan! we can pretend this didn’t happen if you’d like. i’m sorry i overheard, you can talk to me about it when you feel ready.
He groaned, banging his head against the beer fridge.
˜˜
Fenrys cackling had always been a good indicator that Rowan was going through one of the lowest points of his life. As a rule, the intensity of his laughter was directly proportional to the amount of shit Rowan was in. Today was no exception.
“She-“ Fenrys held a finger in and grasped both knees, wheezing. “She didn’t know it was just us here?”
“I checked the text thread already. I didn’t tell her.” Rowan closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Did Elide say anything?”
Lorcan shook his head. “Ellie refused to tell me about Aelin’s plans. She’s telling us to mind our own businesses.”
Rowan’s knee was bouncing as he stared at Maisie’s drawing of Aelin on his wall. He had been acting weird the entire night, and his friends called him out on it the second his daughter went to bed.
“So we still don’t know where she was going dressed like that.” Rowan didn’t meet anyone’s eye. He knew it was a silly statement.
Fen chugged his beer. “We all know what she’s doing. Like I told you the other day, she’s on the hunt for Mr. Right.”
Rowan’s chest was an adjustable knot, and it got tighter every time someone mentioned this in a violent tug.
Lorcan narrowed his eyes at Fenrys. “She’s not. Ellie would’ve told me.”
“Are you sure? Because the last time Elide told you something about Aelin’s love life, you didn’t waste a second before you opened your mouth.” Fenrys turned to Rowan. “Did you download Tinder? We might need to rush with the plan.”
“The what?” Lorcan blurted before Rowan could tell he hadn’t downloaded any dating apps yet.
Fenrys smirked like the devil and hooked an arm around Rowan’s neck, smudging his cheek with tomato sauce from the bruschetta he was eating. “Tinder. After six years, Hoey Rowie is alive and breathing.”
“Hold on, I haven’t made a decision yet,” Rowan said while cleaning his cheek with a napkin.
“That’s the worst idea Fenrys could ever come up with. Why would other women solve your problem with Aelin?” Lorcan clasped his hands together and supported his chin in the space between the thumb and index finger. He gave Rowan a look that was so hard to decipher, he wished he could be inside his friend’s head. “Dude, you should just talk to her.”
Fenrys lifted a finger. “And by her, he means the hot redhead I’m setting you up with.”
”By her, I mean Aelin.” Lorcan had his signature judgy look on. “Have you ever stopped to think about why he wants to go on dates?”
”Because he’s a single DILF!” Fenrys exclaimed, arms flailing. “Dude, you’re being a Love Grinch.”
Lorcan pointed at his wedding ring, eyes narrowed at Fenrys. “If anything, I’m the Love Santa. The only thing I’m trying to ruin here is this bad decision. I’m the Mistake Grinch.”
Rowan picked a mini bruschetta from the coffee table, carefully weighing his friends’ words. “So you think I shouldn’t date yet?”
Lorcan shrugged, but his earnest eyes portrayed all the concern he was trying to conceal. “If you want to date, you should do it for the right reasons. Have you even thought of the reason why you suddenly want to date again?”
Because Aelin said she wanted more kids, which implies seeing someone. He freaked out, and then freaked the fuck out when he saw her in a sparkly night outfit. But did Rowan want to delve deeper into why he was getting these reactions? No, not really. He’d just fall into a rabbit hole of heartbreak, and there’d be no going out, just painfully shutting out.
Today, Rowan was choosing slutty dilfhood instead of his usual pathetic single co-parenthood.
He cocked his head into Fenrys’ direction. “Tell me about the redhead.”
˜˜
When Rowan said he’d go on a date with Fenrys’ friend, he didn’t mean immediately. However, here he was. In Doranelle City’s new hottest spot, or so his friend—and the huge line at the front door—told him.
Apparently, his date knew people, so he gave his name at the front and was allowed to cut the line.
The music Rowan was being forced to listen to outside got louder when he walked in. There was a sea of people dancing, yelling, making out in the corners, and the place reeked of a mix of beer and sweat.
Rowan had been here for a matter of seconds, and he already missed the comfort of his home.
It was one thing to say he’d decided to date again, and another to actually go on dates. Worse, a date at a club. He needed mental preparation, but of course his extroverted slut friend wouldn’t understand that. Of course he’d schedule a date for the same night and ruin Rowan’s chances to rethink and potentially balk.
That was only happening because Fenrys stayed with Maisie, who was already asleep when he left, and Rowan would definitely be there when she woke up. Lorcan went home as soon as the date was set, asking, in his words, to be excluded from this stupidity.
A girl in a tight black dress, who looked very close to the picture Fenrys showed him, tapped his upper arm.
“Rowan?” She screamed through the loud music.
“Ansel?”
She smiled. “That’s me.”
Her brown irises had some red tones to it, but it was probably the strobe lights fooling his senses. He stared deep into her eyes for longer than was socially acceptable, more out of curiosity than anything else.
Ansel smirked. “At least buy me dinner first!”
Rowan’s eyes widened. “That was rude, I’m sorry.”
The woman cackled, somehow finding something to be amused at about him, and tugged on his arm. “Come on, I found a table in the back.”
Rowan’s shoulders loosened when he saw the back of the club. After the suffocating dance floor, there was this outdoorsy area with quieter music and actual tables with menus. This was a lot better.
The silence was absolutely painful after they ordered beers and fries.
“So.” Rowan cleared his throat. “How did you meet Fenrys?”
“At an orgy.”
The beer he was sipping went right back through his nose, making him choke on it.
Ansel’s laugh boomed through the open room, and she made soothing motions on his back as he recovered from the surprise. “Don’t worry, Big Guy. I’m not dragging you to one.”
“Thanks.” He coughed a little, clutching his chest. ”I didn’t mean to sound judgy. I narrowed my… activities down to two people after being done with university.”
Ansel reassured him she wasn’t offended, then silence stretched again. Conversation with Aelin just flowed so easily, and this was a painful reminder every date he went. Which was why Rowan had a reputation in his twenties. He wasn’t good at making conversation, but he was young and good-looking enough to skip that part, if the person was interested.
35-year-old Rowan didn’t find that option satisfying anymore.
He cleared his throat. “What’s your favorite color?”
She snorted. “You can talk to me about your ex if you want to. I’m a bartender, which means I’m the fun kind of shrink.”
Rowan opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. “How do you know there’s an ex?”
She shrugged. “Fenrys has a big mouth.”
“It wouldn’t be very nice of me to talk about someone else while on a date with you.”
Ansel leaned back on her seat, twirling the glass beer bottle in her hand. “I’m not looking for anything serious, so I’m not offended that you’re still hooked up on your ex. You can tell me about her, pay me a drink…” she swept an appreciative gaze over his body. “And we can still go somewhere else if we’re in the mood later, but I can’t offer you more than that.”
After debating this idea in his head for a moment, his conclusion was a big fuck it. He told her everything, from the night he met Aelin to the present day, and received back a lot more reactions than his certified shrink’s neutral expressions.
“Oh, boy.” Ansel blinked, mouth hanging open. “You’re so fucked.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Don’t I know it.”
She slowly shook her head. “I mean, it’s been fucking years, and you’re still in love with her?”
Rowan’s pulse immediately picked up. “That’s not what I told you at all.”
“You said some deep love shit, man. Literally, everything but the words.”
This was a nightmare. Tonight was supposed to be about forgetting Aelin, but somehow he ended up discussing with his date whether or not his co-parent had feelings for him five years ago. Rowan ran a million worst-case scenarios for this date, but his imagination wasn’t near as bad as the real thing.
“I’m sorry, but I need to ask you something.”
Rowan sighed. “Go ahead.”
“It’s been five years, and not once you thought of asking her the reason why she left?”
“Being rejected was humiliating enough already.” Feeling his insides tighten, Rowan crossed his arms and carefully kept an even tone. “I don’t need details on how much she didn’t care about me.”
“She cared.” Ansel sipped her drink. “Did you help her out with the baby?”
Rowan nodded. “When I wasn’t at work, yeah.”
“I’ve never heard of a new mom who’d just reject help. If she didn’t care about you, she’d enjoy the free labor and let you be. But she asked you to leave, which means you probably fucked up.”
Rowan felt a lump forming in his throat, but he focused on keeping a steady face for this stranger. He took in the string lights and the distant sounds of a crowd yelling, scrambling his mind for something to say.
This wasn’t true. He remembered everything, and Rowan wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t do anything big enough to make her leave.
In the end, Ansel didn’t know him or Aelin. She wasn’t there to know Aelin’s feelings better than he did.
Rowan opened his mouth, but closed again. God, he never should’ve started talking about Aelin in the first place. He pointed at the direction where he could hear some occasional applause. “Is there another dance floor over that door?
“Oh.” She looked over her shoulder. “Fridays are karaoke nights. Do you wanna take a look?”
He’d do anything to avoid that awkwardness.
There was a small stage where people could sing and an employee in the corner taking care of the song requests. The place was cramped, a lot of people cheering and singing along with a guy performing a Spice Girls song. All of the tables were taken, but they managed to find stools in the bar near the door.
Rowan was begrudgingly admitting to himself that watching such an alive crowd was lighting up his bitter mood. But the thing that grabbed his attention the most was when Lysandra, one of the moms from Maisie’s soccer class, got up on stage. They weren’t exactly friends, but he caught her chatting often with Aelin and a few other moms during games.
“Oh, hi!” She waved at the crowd, then tugged her skin-tight green dress. “I’m trying to get my friend Aelin to sing with me, but I think she needs a little encouragement.”
Rowan felt his stomach bottoming out. The crowd erupted, but not near as much as one table by the front, full exclusively with women he recognized as soccer moms.
Aelin was easily spotted among them, cackling with her flimsy golden fabric that was definitely not a shirt.
Shit. He was in such deep, unending shit.
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ToG Read-A-Long, Empire of Storms, day 11
SOMEHOW I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW CLOSE TO THE END WE ARE. I think it’s because I checked this book out from the library virtually to make it easier to carry with me, and I’ve just been reading on my phone. I pulled out the physical copy to read this morning since it’s my day off, and now I realize this the last 100 pages. The traditional, SJM style, shit-hitting-the-fan smorgasbord.
(Bring it on)
Ch 65
Did anybody else try to pair the gods with their main cast counterpart?
“one that was of sea and sky and storms” Rowan
“one of many shifting voices, both animal and human” Lysandra
“one who saw all with wise, calm eyes” Elide? Or maybe Dorian?
“the one of darkness and death.” Lorcan
“the one with a voice of steel and shields and arrows.” Maybe Gavriel? Or Aedion, I guess?
“The one with three faces” Manon
“The princess whirled, her hunting leathers stained and damp, the gold tips on her braided hair clinking.”
NEHEMIA! I missed you so much, honey!
This isn’t Nehemia though, it’s just an echo, just a memory, but oh, it’s still so good to see her again 😭
Ch 66
“When Aelin and Manon had vanished into that mirror, Dorian suspected it was only Aedion's roaring that had made Rowan snap out of the blood fury he'd descended into. And only the throbbing bruise on Dorian's cheek that made Rowan refrain from giving him a matching one.”
He didn’t know what was about to happen though. Idk. I feel like it was a pretty genius idea, there was no way he could have known shit was about to hit the fan. And that they wouldn’t be back.
(They’re gonna come back, right?)
“Maybe Manon Blackbeak would help her do it. Maybe they'd rule over the ruins together.
He wished he'd had more time to talk to the witch. To get to know her beyond what his body had already learned.”
I wish you did, too, Dorian, but you were too busy being horny! Lol
(I can’t say I blame you)
(Live your best life Dorian)
Ch 67
“Rowan had not possessed an army of his own to give to Aelin. To give to Terrasen.
So he had won an army for her. Through the only things Aelin had claimed were all she wanted from him.
His heart. His loyalty. His friendship.”
Omg, Rowan 🥺
GET YOURSELF A MAN WHO GIVES YOU HIS HEART. HIS LOYALTY. HIS FRIENDSHIP.
That’s how you know. He’s top tier husband material.
If Maeve hurts Elide I’m going to scream.
I’ll riot.
I swear.
Ch 68
It’s so fucking devastating to read about Nehemia, plotting her own very violent death.
That shit was so traumatic.
NEHEMIA. I kind of don’t forgive you? Like, did you even realize? How fucked up it was? To die - so violently - so horrifically - but - you didn’t HAVE TO. Aelin was the one who HAD TO. You gave Elena your death.
And for what!
To traumatize your friend into action!
I hate it. I hate it SO MUCH.
The Elena pulling the strings behind it all reveal here. It’s very unsettling, in a high fantasy kinda way. I like the way it feels, that ultimate pain, ultimate sacrifice, chosen one trope, but I don’t believe for a minute that Alien has to die to save the world.
I know we can find another way to solve this riddle. Maybe that’s why Manon’s here. She’s nameless, too, in a way, since she was disavowed as the Heir to the Blackbeak clan.
Or maybe you can give up your name, symbolically. And then be truly nameless. Maybe you can trick Maeve into giving up her name, and kill two birds with one stone here.
Ch 69
(Nice)
This fighting continues.
ABRAXOS is back! Babyyyyyyy! ILU so much! Thank you for coming back so triumphantly!
Ch 70
It feels so unnatural to stop here
I wanna finish reading!
I wanna know what happens next!
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A Complicated Match
Rating: E | Category: M/M | Words: 89 486 | Chapters 18/21
Dorian Pavus met the love of his life, quite accidentally, on a dating app called Matchsies. He resisted and he failed, he fell and he learned, and now he's actually... he's quite happy, impossible as it seems. But he is still from Tevinter, he is still avoiding his parents' calls, and he still hasn't told Taren everything.
Any minute now, something is going to ruin this.
Ch. 18: Not Forever
Chapter Snippet:
It was not forever, that was what he said.
Not forever, but one more month gave way into two, and that looked to be coming upon a third with no sign of change.
Summer ended, and along went Dorian’s birthday, the day they’d met, that unofficial little anniversary slipping away. Taren’s classes started, the sunsets came earlier, storms rolled over the Amaranthine. Dorian’s book went to print, and Taren read his interviews in a Minrathous paper on his tablet.
It was not forever. They called one another, and occasionally repeated that refrain. Mostly they just talked. It was still good, the talking. Dorian still told him about everything exciting and frustrating that went on in Tevinter, he still cared about the mundanities of Taren’s life. He asked questions, he made jokes, he told him honestly about his nights out and shared the gossip and politics of his friends and supporters. Sometimes there was sex, over the phone or through a camera, using his hands and his imagination. Every now and then, Dorian called too late, or after too many drinks, or for too short a time. He was honest, but he wasn’t there, and it hurt.
It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.
Even when everything lined up, when Taren wasn’t tired and Dorian wasn’t busy and the picture was clear, it hurt. He laughed, and it hurt. He smiled, and it hurt. He called him amatus, and it hurt .
Taren was honest too. No one pretended that it did not hurt. If Dorian was late, he made up for it. If Taren missed him, he said so. Sometimes it felt like that was all he said.
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.
It would not be forever. No one could stand this forever.
#updated againnnn the other day#it's almost doneee#my fic#my writing#matchsies#a complicated match#pavellan#tattoo shop au#modern au#dragon age#dragon age fanfiction#dragon age inquisition#dorian x lavellan
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Playlist For The Losing Game
They’re separated by character and are vaguely ordered by story progression. Since I didn’t have to write a whole lot for them, Dorian and Henry’s are quite short.
(I suggest reading up to ch 12 before opening because this is full of spoilers.)
Dorian
Million Miles Away from Belle (Kazue Mika’s Español ver because the lyrics hit way harder)
Lovesong- Beabadoobee
I Secretly Love U- Snail’s House- Seycara Ver.
Soulmate that wasn’t meant to be- Jess Benko
Credits Song for My Death- vivivivivi -Rasmodeus Q music box ver.
Henry
I Don’t Really Like Your Boyfriend- Avenue Beat
Up To No Good- The Hoosiers
You Get Me So High- The Neighborhood
Watching Him Fade Away- Mac DeMarco
Roland
My Type- Saint Motel
Arsonist’s Lullaby- Hozier
Our Word from 36 Questions
Technically Missing from Gone Girl
Sugar Storm from Gone Girl
SNOBBISM- Neru- Will Stetson Ver.
Blumenkranz from Kill la Kill
Gooey- Glass Animals
Sugar We’re Going Down but it’s creepier- Kade McCuen
Villainous Thing- Shayfer James
Main Title Suite (Bonus Track) from Don’t Look Up
Simplicity-Megan Wofford
Less Likely from The Vietnam War
The Devil Wears A Suit and Tie- Colter Wall
The Nowhere King from Centaurworld
The New Century from Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs
Basil
Let You Break My Heart Again- Laufey
And the Flowers Were Gray- Evelyn Stein
Until I Fall Asleep- Nastyona (Called “Nastyona #13” on Youtube)
Bubble Gum- Clairo
Background Noise from Gone Girl
Putting a spin on heather- egg
Ew- Joji- I like the live ver, but either works
Romantic Homicide- d4vd
Runaway- REI AMI
High Enough- K Flay
Biggering from the Lorax but it’s that super good part that makes you want to punt the Lorax and do meth
Leave Me Alone- IDKHBTFM
The Right Things from the Vietnam War
Putting a spin on slow dancing in the dark- egg
Just Like You from Gone Girl
The Fall- Lovejoy
Just Another Love Song- Mac DeMarco
Be Nice to Me- The Front Bottoms
Hot Chocolate- Dark Cat- Seycara Ver.
Beethoven’s 7th Symphony- ULTRAKILL ver
G Song- Terry Riley- perform by the Kronos Quartet
Occasionally Scared from Dispatches from Elsewhere
Mandus from Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs
Memento Mori from Don’t Look Up
Wishful Drinking- Tessa Violet
O Cometa- Rodrigo Amarante
Also shout out to SNOBBISM and Wishful Drinking. The former is literally just Roland’s entire character (completely by accident, i forgot about that song until September) and the latter is the theme song for entire story. And also to Seycara’s Hot Chocolate—highly recommend rereading that last Dorian and Basil scene in Chapter Twelve with it in the background.
#the losing game#i have had this playlist for SO LONG#I wanted to put it out literally weeks ago#but then this chapter took hella long#some of the songs are there because of their vibes rather than their intended meanings#playlist
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DORIAN???? DORIAN DORIAN??? DORIAN DORIAN HMMM??? WHAT WAS THAT??? BR-???? DORIAN????
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Things I’ve Read This Week* - 2021.10.02
New Stories
Elvhenan: Tales from the Elven Empire, The Age of Innocence, ⚜️The Taming of the Storm, ⚜️Waters of the Moon by InArlathan (@in-arlathan) - Andruil, Mythal - 3,841 words - each work complete
The DA Alternate Universe Chronicles, Vir'vhen'an by RogueLioness (@roguelioness) - Solas/F!Lavellan - 1,637 words - WIP
Rereads
Diary of a Dislocated Knife-ear, ⚜️Dislocated Souls, ⚜️Dislocated Souls: Skyhold, ⚜️The More Explicit Side of Dislocated by LonelyAgain (@thereallonelyagain) - Solas/MGiT - 705,613 words - WIP
Tumblr (re)Reads
stop pushing me away! prompt by @best-of-the-vein - Solas & F!Cadash
Subscription Updates
lover, your back is bruised from what you carry, A tapestry of stars by noverture (@noverturemusings) - this chapter Solas & Dirthamen, Dirthamen & M!Lavellan (Ch. 26)
Unwritten by UnrealRomance - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 222-223)
Love, Delivered by beaubashley (@beaubartley) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 7)
beware the forest at night, when there are miles left to go, the forest is dark and deep and i've seen you here before by victoriousscarf (@victoriousscarf) - Solas/M!Lavellan (Ch. 167-168)
Never Again by angelslaugh (@skyerie) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 151-160)
Scars of Light by Kallypso (@kallypsowrites) - The Darkling|Kirigan/Alina (Ch. 51-52)
Lingrean Rosal'sule'din, The Future Is Not Yet Set In Stone by angelslaugh (@skyerie) - Dorian & F!Lavellan, F!Lavellan/F!Warden, past?Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 61-62)
Eunoia by RosellaWrites (@rosella-writes) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 17)
Hand in Hand in Unlovable Hand by Sevent (@seventfics) - {The Darkling|Aleksander/Alina/Mal} (Ch. 13)
Into the Cosmos, Into the Chaos by Pakhet (@shiver-the-tiefling) - {MGiT~MBiT, Solas/MGiT, Solas~MBiT} (Ch. 80)
She's Lived a Good Life by Kinako - MCiT (Ch. 19)
Til It Squeaks: A Modern Girl's Take on Thedas, Twist Some More by CrackingLamb (@crackinglamb) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 31)
Wicked Things, What a Wicked Game to Play by Cracking Lamb (@crackinglamb) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 48)
Fen'Harel's Teeth, Fen'Harel's Teeth by hes5thlazarus (@5lazarus) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 13)
lover, your back is bruised from what you carry, In the face of your light by noverture (@noverturemusings) - Solas/M!Lavellan, past Dirthamen/M!Lavellan (Ch. 100)
Ma Ghilana Mir Bellanaris, Dir'vhen'an (The Promise) by oxygenforthewicked (@oxygenforthewicked) - Solas/NB!Lavellan (Ch. 19)
Love's Worth Running To, Love Run by JessTalksAlot (@jessitasquirrel) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 16)
Coiling Time by Enceladus (EspressoComfort) (@espressocomfort) - Solas/MGiT (Ch. 26)
Modern Circus AU, Soaring by bearlytolerable (@bearlytolerant) - Solas/F!Lavellan (Ch. 3)
» side note - multiple chapters may mean multiple updates; or might just be me refreshing my memory, reorienting myself in the story, or rereading some for fun.
*TIRTW & can recommend
(previous weeks & TIRTW Key/Legend)
#spotlight Saturday#fic recommendations#writer recommendations#tirtw#things i've read this week#solavellan#solas/lavellan#solas x lavellan#solas/oc#solas x oc#solas/mgit#solas x mgit#mgit#mcit#darklina#darkling x alina#polyships#solasmance rare pair#aisteach reads#aisteach recommends#aisteach posts
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Do you know any good movie aus? Not as in they're actors, but fics written based on movie plots?
Hey Nonny!!
OHHHH! This is fantastic! Because I actually have ANOTHER ask looking for crossovers too, and the list is HUGE. So I’ve used this opportunity to split the list up into two. This one here is for my MFL list, and if anyone has any of their own to suggest, please add them to this list!
So, check out Below!
CROSSOVERS and FUSIONS (Feb 2021) Pt. 1.5
[FICS TO READ]
See Also:
Fairy Tales and Fantasy
TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)
Wonderful Life AU
Sherlock / Hannibal Crossovers?
Science Fiction / Fantasy
Faes / Faeries
Disney-esque Fics
Moulin Rouge AU
Crossovers and Fusions Pt 1
Two More Miracles by PatPrecieux (T, 221 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Angst With Happy Ending, 221B Ficlet, Temporary Character Death) – Tragedy and miracles go hand in hand.
Here, Though the World Explode, These Two Survive by TheTyger (G, 1,194 w., 2 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Post-TRF, Ineffable Husbands, Fluff, Reunion, Rings, Hurt/Comfort) – Tomorrow, it would be three years from that day. Three years with no rude text messages, no experiments being conducted while London slept, no body parts in the fridge. And John still sometimes caught himself buying extra milk and looking for cases and making two coffees.
Just the Book by Carenejeans (G, 1,495 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Humour, Aziraphale’s Bookshop) – John's looking for a book. It's Aziraphale's bookshop, but Crowley provides customer service.
The Case of the Missing.... by Beth H (G, 2,601 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Case Fic) – Crowley has gone missing, and Aziraphale hasn't a clue how to go about finding him. Luckily, help comes from above...or rather, from the side.
The Curious Case of the Missing Antichrist by Aedemiel (G, 2,865 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Vignette, Case Fic, Desperation, Bad Ideas) – What if Aziraphale and Crowley had consulted the great consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes, about finding Adam Young?
Eye of the Storm by Calais_Reno (G, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || The Day After Tomorrow AU || Survival, Cold Weather, Boy Scout John, No Major Character Death) – Weather has become the fifth horseman of the apocalypse.
Nice and Accurate Deductions by htebazytook (T, 3,179 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Romance, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock drags John to a certain bookshop in Soho.
Snake In The Flat by PatPrecieux (T, 3,293 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Magical Realism, Fluff, Humour, Ineffable Husbands) – There can be a snake in the grass, snakes on a plane and now there's a snake in the flat.
The Picture of Sherlock Holmes by CarmillaCarmine (M, 3,306 w., 1 Ch. || Victorian Dorian Gray AU || Angst, Paris, London, Travel, Painting, Major Character Death, Opera, Captain John, First Meetings) – Sherlock Holmes, a rich and frivolous man, after a lifetime of debauchery finally falls in love. His heart chooses Captain Watson.
The Old Town by a_different_equation (T, 3,573 w., 1 Ch. || Hans Christian Anderson Fusion || Magical Realism, Christmas, Fairy Tale Elements, Love Stories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Museums, Sweet Sherlock) – Once upon a time there were two boys. This is the story how once upon December, they found the missing Christmas Spirit, true love and new beginnings. A Queer fairytale for all seasons.
Holmes vs. Harkness by coinin (T, 3,960 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood / HHGTTG Fusion || Crack, Mystrade) – In which Captain Jack gets in a little over his head and is introduced to the myriad joys of bureaucracy, Mycroft is smug, the Guide offers up some helpful advice, John Watson doesn't share, and, in a strange turn of events, Jack doesn't get laid even once.
Perfect by TrufflesTheMushroom (T, 3,984 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || The Apocalypse) – Crowley and Aziraphale have made a huge mistake. It's the end of the world and it all boils down to one fight. Crowley has picked John Watson. Aziraphale has picked Sherlock Holmes.
Limbo by Calais_Reno (T, 4,070 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Waiting Rooms, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Paperwork, Explosions, Apocalypse, Second Chances, Declarations of Love, Nobody Dies) – Ordinarily Sherlock would be quite impatient by now with all this pointless waiting (for what?), but at the moment he feels as if he has all the time in the world.
The Baker Street Flat by Anonymous (PG-13, 5,000-20,000 w., 7 Parts || Lake House Crossover || Angst, Romance, LIVEJOURNAL Comments Fic) – John’s pretty sure it’s a sign of mental imbalance — of which he has been all too frequently accused of late — that he is actually entertaining the possibility that he is communicating with a total stranger two years in the future via the magic mail slot on the door of his new flat. He certainly won’t be mentioning this at next week’s session. On his way out the door to interview for a part-time position at a local surgery, another meeting where he has no intention of mentioning his most recent hobby, he drops a fairly sarcastic note: If you’re really from 2012, is the world about to end?
In the Shadows by Laur (M, 5,029 w., 1 Ch. || Loose Shutter Island Fusion || Disturbing Imagery, Psychological, Angst, Major Character Death, Grief/Trauma) – Do you believe in ghosts? When Sherlock’s eyes snap to him they are anguished.
come be my april fool by a_different_equation (M, 6,473 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Writer!Sherlock, Est. Rel., Fluff / Humour, Baking, Marriage Proposal, Military Kink, Domestics, POV John, Romance, Sherlock Wears Glasses, Sweet Sherlock, Bookstores, Queer Themes) – After leaving ‘The Great British Bake Off’, Sue Perkins has written a book about Victorian baking. Tonight, on April 1st, she is reading at ‘The Bard’, Mike Stamford’s bookstore in central London. It is the exact same spot where John Watson, battered and bruised, had learned all about his magnificent bastard – one Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famous gay crime fiction writer – for the first time. A story about found family, DRAMAtical lesbians, how to react when your boyfriend has a military kink but he doesn't want to act on it, oh, and popping the question. Sequel to 'i read your book, you magnificent bastard'. Part 2 of Magnificent Bastard!AU
The Babadook by CatieBrie (T, 6,886 w., 1 Ch. || Babadook Fusion || Post-TRF, Horror, Demonic Possession, Violence, Halloween, Grief, Angst with Happy Ending) – “A children’s book,” John mutters as he flips it open. The pages are scrawled with beautiful charcoal lines and thick black ink. The cover, bright red, edges the open pages and something tugs at the back of John’s brain. It’s a familiar feeling, black and tarrish and thick in his thoughts. He shakes it off and picks the book up off his bed, turning so that he can sit on the edge and spread the book out across his knees. If it’s in a word or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook. He turns the page, ignoring the pressure building beneath his chest. There’s a closet on one page; paper doors meant to be opened by the reader flutter as John reads the text on the other page.
What To Do With An Atypical Animal Within by HarveyDangerfield & swimsalot (E, 7,804 w. || Harry Potter AU || Animagus, Porn With A Little Plot, Tail Porn) – Sherlock is determined to be an animagus. But what happens when it isn't a fox or a horse or a dog he's turning into?
The Lonely by elwinglyre (E, 7,888 w., 1 Ch. || Twilight Zone AU || Major Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Firsts, Sad Ending) – Witness if you will a distant planet with a dungeon made of desert sand and mountain stone. This planet holds one inmate, a man wrongly accused, serving a life sentence. His only solace, his notebook and the thought of the day when the supply ship brings him a pardon. Instead, salvation comes to John Watson in a large box and a visitor from The Twilight Zone.
Friend by esama (G, 7,909 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Character Death, Kid Fic) – Sherlock finds the skull when he's five.
Spell It Out by prettysailorsoldier (M, 8,344 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Fusion || Teenlock, Christmas, Love Potion/Spell, Pining Sherlock) – Remaining at Hogwarts over break has become something of a tradition for Sherlock and John, staying behind together ever since their very first year, but, when Irene throws a gift of doctored coconut ice into the mix, plans quickly change, even if John doesn't. Part 6 of 25 Days of Johnlock
The Long Goodbye by elbereth (M, 8,367 w., 1 Ch. || Time Traveller’s Wife AU || Doomed Timelines, Time Travel) – Sherlock travels in time. The ending is known even before they meet, yet they choose to live this love. One of them knows the past, one of them knows the future, yet their deepest secret is safe from each other. Limited time, but unlimited love.
Sugar & Spice by Ttime42 (T, 8,476 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || First Kiss, Baking) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson compete on The Great British Bake Off.
Pygmalion by ancientreader (T, 9,136 w., 2, Ch. || Pygmalion AU || Magical Realism) – The spell to turn a statue into an animate being has been illegal in the UK for a hundred and seventy years when the -- body? -- is found on Hampstead Heath. It changes everything.
Am I the Current (Tiger) King of England? by Dee_Laundry (T, 9,360 w., 1 Ch. || Tiger King Fusion || Post-S4, Dreams, Friendship, John’s Sexuality, Sherlock’s Sexuality, Quarantine/CoVID-19, Past Character Death, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Dom/Sub, First Kiss) – “I had the weirdest dream last night,” John said. Seven times.
I Could Try by Arcwin (T, 9,583 w., 5 Ch. || Greek Mythology Crossover || Post-TRF, Orpheus and Eurydice Myth, POV John, Pining John, BAMF John, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Horror, Angst with Happy Ending) – John is grieving Sherlock's death post Reichenbach until one day, he sees the violin case, and something inside him tells him to pick it up. Crossover between BBC Sherlock and the Greek tragedy Orpehus and Eurydice, wherein Eurydice is killed for her beauty and taken to the Underworld. Orpheus, being the son of Apollo (the God of Music and Medicine) travels to the Underworld to convince (via playing his lyre) Hades and Persephone to let Eurydice go. Orpheus then must travel with Eurydice behind him, not looking back, until they exit to the land of the living.
Puzzlebox by standbygo (E, 9,867 w., 5 Ch. || Hellraiser Fusion || True Love, Supernatural Elements, Psychological Horror, First Kiss, Post S2, Angst with Happy Ending) – A love story with horror. A horror story with a happy ending.
you are a paradigm by 1electricpirate (M, 10,013 w. || Harry Potter AU || Wizard!John / Muggle!Sherlock, Magic) – Sometimes, only sometimes, when Sherlock is very far away and absolutely guaranteed not to return for at least three hours, John sits on the sofa and lets the tea make itself. In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious. Part 1 of More Things Than Are Dreamt Of
Already Gone by johnwatso (M, 10,078 w., 8 Ch. || Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion || Non-Linear Narrative, Memory Loss, Ambiguous / Open Ending) – Dear Mr Greg Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes has had John Watson erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. Thank you, Lacuna Inc.
A Real Deal by toyhto (M, 10,339 w., 1 Ch. || Black Mirror-Inspired || Science Fiction, Post-TRF, Canon Divergence) – Please be real, he thought and pulled Sherlock closer.
You Don't Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.
Backup Copies by etothepii (M, 13,332 w., 3 Ch. || Dollhouse Crossover || Major Character Death) – When John dies, Sherlock doesn't know what to do. But Mycroft does.
Silent Night by khorazir (M, 15,060 w., 1 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Care Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Reunion, PTSD John, Christmas) – It’s Christmas Eve 1944, and Sherlock Holmes has received his most precious gift already: after a long, dangerous deployment, Surgeon Captain John Watson of the Royal Navy has unexpectedly returned from the front. As if this weren’t enough, there’s a case. Both events make for a night full of promise, excitement, and the difficult task of getting reacquainted with the man Sherlock hasn’t seen in three years and feared he’d lost forever. Part 2 of Enigma
In Arduis Fidelis by Raliena (T, 18,628 w., 10 Ch. || GI Joe Crossover || Captivity, Surgery, BAMF John, John “Three Continents” Watson, POV John Watson, Prisoner of War, Cobra - Freeform, soldier John, John-centric, Doctor John Watson, John is a Very Good Doctor, Violence) – Once upon a time John was a Soldier and a Doctor. And he was known John or Doc or Doctor. But things change. And he *earned* his right to the name “Three Continents Watson”. Part 1 of the Three Continents Watson series
Serendipity by Calais_Reno (T, 18,222 w., 3 Ch. || Serendipity Fusion || Christmas, Romance, Coincidences, First Meetings, Misunderstandings, New York City, Fate and Destiny) – A bit of New York Christmas fluff, based on the 2001 movie.
Magnificent by esama (T, 19,477 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Crossover Pairing) – The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.
Much Ado About Nothing or Get Over Here and Kiss Me Already! by MorganeUK (NR, 19,847 w., 13 Ch. || Much Ado About Nothing AU || Mutual Pining, Angst, Lestrolly) – AU in modern time where the Holmes' are a powerful noble family, Mycroft is the chief of defences and Sherlock is working for secret service. Lestrade is a high rank officer in the army. Ms Hudson is an old Lady that took care of her niece and nephew Molly and John since their youth. Part 1 of the Sherlock / Shakespeare series
Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w., 15 Ch. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John's Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock's Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It's not a love story, until it finally is.
When John Met Sherlock by MorganeUK (T, 21,293 w., 10 Ch. || When Harry Met Sally AU || Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Faking It, Mutual Pining, Background Lestrolly, Fluff and Smut, Rom-Com) – At first they thought that friendship was impossible. Then meet again and become friends. After dinners, texts, cases and discussions they become more, best friends. Faking orgasm before falling on the floor together to get real one... Then going back to pushing each other away again... Before falling in love!But not necessarily in this order.
You're The One by Mazarin221b (E, 21,768 + w. || WiP || Underage Dirty Dancing Fusion || Period Typical Homophobia, Sexism, Angst, Fluff) – John Watson is seventeen years old and has his life planned out: medical school, a commission, and an opportunity to change the world. He just has to get through three weeks at The Copper Beeches - a resort owned by one of his father's patients - with his annoying sister and his perfect parents before he's off to Cambridge. But John has a secret he's trying desperately to keep, and, it seems, so is just about everyone around him, including the incredibly gorgeous and amazing dance teacher, Sherlock Holmes, and his partner Irene Adler. Too bad Jim Moriarty seems to know precisely what everyone is hiding.
Into the Multiverse by AnAnYaH (M, 21,958 w., 18 Ch. || Avengers / Sherlock / Dr. Strange Crossover || Multiverses, Everstrange, Parentlock / Teenage Rosie, Sad Sherlock, Angry Sherlock, Sherlock/John Fight, Magic, Strange John, First Kiss, Whipping, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Threats of Rape / Non-Con, Mental Anguish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending) – Nothing lasts forever. I am beginning to think it's the same for you and me. In a world where we don't co-exist how long will it take to finally break us ? Or are we already broken in need of a fix ?A multi-chapter fic where Sherlock and John had to leave their lives to save the world from universal threats and pursue as Doctor Strange and Everett Ross.Will they ever reunite? Part 1 of the Everstrange series
Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle by KatsatheGraceling (M, 22,751 w., 1 Ch. || James Bond Crossover || Bondlock, BAMF John, Assassin John, Q is a Holmes, Clueless Sherlock, Omniscient Mycroft) – The one where John is a BAMF assassin. With an affinity for cuddly warm jumpers.
Impossible Improbable Truth by KaraRenee (M, 24,308 w., 9 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – John and Sherlock take a case investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl and her toddler half brother. What they find is an impossible adventure that leads them on a journey of discovery of their sexuality.
The Art Of Seduction: A Study In Pulling by flawedamythyst (M, 25,279 w., 1 Ch. || Queer As Folk Inspired AU || John/OMC, Additional Tags to Be Added Upon Reading) – Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon. Inspired by Queer As Folk UK, but it very quickly went its own way. Part 1 of The Art Of Seduction
False Advertising by ravenscar (E, 27,722 w. || Office AU / Devil Wears Prada Inspired || Victor Trevor, Flashbacks, Hurt / Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Younger John/Older Sherlock, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock is John’s boss and mentor at an advertising agency. Can they find love in the cut-throat workplace?
A Wizarding Barista's Field Guide to Seducing a Muggle by paradigmfinch (T, 29,344 w., 9 Ch || Harry Potter Coffee Shop AU || Wizard John, Muggle Sherlock, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Dates, Secret Identity) – To help pay for Healing tuition, John Watson gets a job at a coffee shop in Muggle London, where he soon sets his sights on a particularly gorgeous customer. John's seen plenty of Muggle films. How different can it really be to woo a Muggle?
Time Of My Life by fiveainley_ohmy (E, 29,719 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Dancing Fusion || Bisexual John, Dancing, Gay/Demi Sherlock) – John Watson takes his alcoholic sister to a summer camp in attempt to rehabilitate her. He didn't expect to fall in love with the dance instructor.
Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w., 13 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?
Unsettled by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy (E, 33,879 w., 10 Ch. || HIs Dark Materials AU || Daemons, Dark Themes, Non-Con) – Sherlock's dæmon hadn't settled. Once John realised that, so much made sense. Though so much else didn't, because it practically wasn't possible. Part 1 of the The Utmost Edge of Hazard series
The Last Companion by standbygo (E, 34,101 w., 14 Ch. || Firefly Fusion || Prostitution, Case Fic, Falling in Love, Angst with Happy Ending, Slow Burn, BAMF John, Discussions of Non Con But Doesn’t Happen) – Thirty years after the Miranda Wars, there is peace, both on the Rim and the Core planets. There are a number of old social mores still in place, such as the Order of Companions, but there is a sense that even such respected practices are coming to an end… Sherlock is a Companion - the best Companion on Persephone. With a bit of detective work on the side, of course. Then he meets a man named John Watson, encounters a series of bizarre cases, and finds his world is getting turned upside down.
The Great Bakerstreet Bake Off by Elphen (M, 38,058 w., 8 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Caring Sherlock, Sweet John, Fluff, Baking, Accidental Touching, Pining, BJ’s, Banter and Bickering, Oblivious Characters) – John has decided to watch The Great British Bake Off this year and he is determined to do so. As Sherlock joins him, he is certain that that plan is ruined. He's in for a surprise when he's allowed to watch it but the real shock comes when Sherlock decides they ought to bake themselves. What's more, they should bake what they make in the Bake Off. John's not so sure it's a good idea but when his insides flutter at the thought, he finds it hard to complain.
Toe to Toe by standbygo (E, 44,971 w., 26 Ch. || White Nights Crossover || Ballet/Dance, Slow Burn, Spies/Secret Agents, Angst with Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss/Time, Shower Sex) – Sherlock Holmes is an international ballet star. After a favour for his brother goes south, he finds himself trapped in a foreign country, with a man named John Watson who could be an enemy... or an ally.
Silence by halloa_what_is_this (T, 44,993 w., 13 Ch. || The Piano Fusion || Victorian Sherlock, Dub Con, Voyeurism, Permanent Mutilation, Johniarty, Mute John) – In 1850, John is a mute young man forced to marry to save his father from indebtedness. His sister as his interpreter and his piano to keep him company, he travels to London to live with his husband James Moriarty. Without John's consent, James sells the piano to his friend Sherlock Holmes, who only asks for lessons from John in return. The lessons turn into a power play between the two when Sherlock proposes a deal: John may earn his piano back one key at a time, certain conditions attached. Part 1 of the Aborted Wings series
Crime is of the Essence by K8BNimble (M, 45,569 w., 18 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Mystery, Slash) – When a man he hasn’t seen in almost ten years appears in his home with a man he thought was dead for twenty years, Harry Potter knew his evening had just gotten complicated. Written for Snarry Swap 2011. Named Hot Rec by "The Daily Snitch"1/18/2011. Snarry, past Harry/Sherlock. Long plotty mystery with light graphic slash sex.
Always 1895 by standbygo (E, 45,901 w., 19 Ch. || Oxford Time Travel AU || Time Travel, Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, Victorian, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, First Kiss/Time, First Meetings, Slow Burn, Angst With Happy Ending) – Time travelling historian John Watson goes to Victorian era England to study, and meets detective Sherlock Holmes. He finds himself torn between the work he was sent to do, the exciting life of solving crimes, and the extraordinary Holmes himself.
Curled (A Tangled AU) by crimsonwinter (G, 46,330 w., 13 Ch. || Tangled AU || Alternating POV) – Sherlock lives a limited life, high in a tower, and all he's wanted in eighteen years of isolation is to someday break free and see the floating lights. Somehow, a string of events leads him to John Watson, a surprisingly kind thief who steals his heart. Will they escape the selfish advances of Moriarty, Sherlock's paternal guardian, and will Sherlock find the meaning behind the silver lanterns?
The Boy Who Balanced on the Train Tracks by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 54,894 w., 5 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || John/Snape, Period Typical Homophobia, Character Death, Underage Sexual Attraction, Sexual Awakening, Time Turner, First Time, Poverty, Domestic Abuse, Death Eaters, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with Happy / Bittersweet Ending) – Every year, on the 2nd of May, John Watson dreams of long black hair.
Say You’ll Stay With Me by justacookieofacumberbatch (E, 63,349 w., 21 Ch. || Pretty Woman Fusion || Prostitution) – It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John’s car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.
Whispers in Corners by esama (T, 64,402 w., 10 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Deathly Hallows, Crossover Pairing) – Everything started with a stumble - his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.
Masters of Ink by Indybaggins (E, 67,382 w., 7 Ch. || Ink Master Tattoo TV Show AU || Angst, Banter, Body Modification, Cheating, Desire, Developing Relationship, Disability, Falling in Love, Feels, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Married John, Past Drug Addiction, Pining, Requited Love, Sex, Slow Burn, Smoking, Tattoo Artist John, Tattoo Artist Sherlock) – First-meeting-on-a-reality-show AU, Ink Master edition! There is expert tattooing, slightly less expert flirting, and two men falling hard. But John is married, and they can’t all win.
The Craving in Between by love_in_mind_palace (E, 69,349 w., 16 Ch. || Wedding Planner AU || Infidelity, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sexting & Texting, Alternating POV, Mary is Not Nice) – Sherlock Holmes, The wedding Consultant. Picky about his projects and a nightmare to work with. Rejects ninety percent of the couples after just having a look at them and can predict how long a marriage will last. But when unassuming, plain, John Watson reluctantly limps his way in his office, with his more than enthusiastic fiancée, Mary Morstan, instead of dismissing the ill-assorted couple on the spot, he promptly decides that the project, and the groom.. are definitely worth working on.
The Loss of Flesh and Soul by deuxexmycroft (M, 69,712 w., 6/8 Ch. || WiP || Silence of the Lambs Crossover || Serial Killers, One-Sided Relationship) – Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself. Part 1 of The Loss of Flesh and Soul
The Vampires of London by consultingdetective (E, 72,660 w., 21 Ch. || Dracula AU || Pining Sherlock, Army Doctor John, Sharing a Bed, Porn With Feelings, Plot Twists) – Over one hundred years after the first battle, a series of murders have caught the attention of London's police force and Sherlock Holmes. While most of the city has forgotten the vampire that once walked its streets, the descendants of the Van Helsing, Harker, and Seward families have not.
Save Me or Let Me Drown by GubraithianFire (E, 72,986 w., 16 Ch. || Shameless AU || Dysfunctional Family, Alcoholism, Recreational Drug Use, Angst, Humour, Clubbing, Bipolar Disorder, Custody Battle, Mutual Pining, Family Fluff, Smut, Handcuffs, Anal Sex, Shower Sex, Rimming, Come Shot, Angst With Happy Ending) – How Sherlock escaped from his family, John sacrificed everything to his, and how, together, they built their own. Part 1 of the The Watsons series
This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.
Sherlock, P.I. by Callie4180 (E, 83,264 w., 11 Ch. || Magnum P.I. Fusion || Past Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Canon-Typical Violence, Stalking, Creepy Moriarty) – For the Fall TV Sherlock fusion project. Sherlock, P.I. is an American television show that follows the exciting adventures of genius private investigator Sherlock Homes and his friends as they live their lives on the beautiful island of Oahu in Hawaii. Sherlock solves crimes as he wrestles with the ghosts and demons of his past.
Saudade by tunteeton (E, 96,952 w., 30 Ch. || After That Very Much AU || Case Fic, Non-Con Drug Use, Dubious Science, Canon Compliant up to THoB, John’s in Denial, Sub!Sherlock, Fake Non-Con Drug Use, Dom/Sub Relationship, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Kidnapping, Threatened Torture, Mary is Not Nice, Anal, Fluff, Non-Con Domming, Verbal Abuse, Slapping) – saudade (port.): a deep and melancholy longing for something or someone that is gone and not coming back. Homesickness, an emptiness in one’s soul, a love that remains after the loved one dies. John loses Sherlock, gains Sherlock and learns to never, ever, ever pray. Part 1 of the The Untranslatables series
Rosethorne by suitesamba (M, 98,888 w., 28 Ch. || Secret Garden AU || Injured Sherlock / John, Recovery, First Times, Minor Character Death, Disability, Past Domestic Abuse [Mary/OMC]) – John Watson, WWII army doctor, is injured in the line of duty and can no longer wield a scalpel. Sherlock Holmes, Britain’s best code-breaker, is side-lined by his own devastating injury. In a work inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett’s “The Secret Garden,” the two men must find meaning and purpose in a world which seems to have taken away all they hold most dear. But of course, it really hasn’t.
Cake and Other Sins by Indybaggins (E, 100,670 w. || Great British Bakeoff AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Baking, Desire, Disability, Incest (Holmescest/Holmescest with John), Masturbation, Falling in Love, Oral, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Poisoning, Voyeurism) – Sherlock and John meet as competing bakers on The Great British Bake Off. There’s intense baking, lush recipes and enticing food. Mycroft, guilt, past sins in chocolate and gingerbread. And love. That too.
Fallen Through Time by susandwrites (E, 102,040+ w., 39/? Ch. || Outlander Fusion / Victorian AU || WIP || Time Travel, First Meetings, Meet-Cute, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex/Fingering, Riding Crops, Rough Sex, Floor Sex, Breath Play, Light BDSM, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Switching, Romance, Sex to Love) – Inspired by my love of Outlander, but not exactly an Outlander AU. Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective, finds himself in Victorian London while investigating a murder. The first person he meets is Doctor John Watson, formerly of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers and his world is irrevocably altered.
Reichenbach Falls - Déjà vu by VeeTheRee (M, 180,436+ w., 29/303 Ch. || WiP ||Gravity Falls / Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series
To the Sticking Place by blueink3 (E, 121,973 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Musical Theatre AU || Showmance, Friends to Lovers, Bickering, UST / RST, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock, BAMF John, New York City / Broadway) – Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another? Part 1 of the Screw Your Courage series
Bel Canto by bendingsignpost (T, 127,481 w., 16 Ch. || Phantom of the Opera AU || Secret Identity, Sherlock’s Violin, Operas, Aristocracy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Disguise, Inheritance, Genderqueer Character, Classical Music, Singing) – After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement.
Welcome to Silent Hill by Cleo2010 (M, 130,227 w., 37 Ch. || Silent Hill Fusion || POV First Person Sherlock, Unrequited Love, Psychological Horror, Violence / Gore, Monsters, Nudity, Drug Use, Harm to Children, Cults, Distressing Imagery, Torture, Death) – John is missing. When Sherlock receives a text summoning him to Silent Hill he's intent on reclaiming his friend but the town has other ideas. Our detective must battle through a world shaped by his own troubled psyche as he uncovers the town's secrets, attempts to find John and hunt down Jim Moriarty. Part 1 of the Welcome to Silent Hill series
Drift Compatible by J_Baillier (E, 130,380 w., 26 Ch. || Pacific Rim Fusion || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Family Drama, Accidental Telepathic Voyeurism, Martial Arts, Sci-Fi, Internalised Homophobia, Rubbish Siblings, Army Doctor John, Medical H/C, Bullying, Neurodiversity, PTSD, Drug Use, Depression, Mourning, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, UST/URT) – A washed out war hero struggling with his past. A prodigy who wants nothing to do with his family legacy. Both are looking for something—and someone—worth fighting for in a world where human civilisation is constantly under threat.
Out There by DiscordantWords (T, 131,695 w., 10 Ch. || X-Files Fusion || Slow Burn, UST, Case Fic, Government Conspiracy, Aliens, UFOs, Mutants, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, Coma) – FBI Special Agent John Watson, medical doctor and army veteran, is assigned to assist eccentric genius Sherlock Holmes with paranormal investigations on the X-Files project.
Omens On Baker Street Series by WorseOmens (NR, 155,294+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Sherlock / Good Omens Crossover || Post S4 Sherlock, BAMF Aziraphale, Soft Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Fluff, Angst, General Idiocy, Misunderstandings, Crimes, Humour, Pining, Crimes, Magical Shenanigans, Unlikely Friendships, ?Slow Burn, True Forms, Ineffable Dads, South Downs) – Sherlock and John are no longer the only crime-solving disaster duo in London. After Sherlock unknowingly wrongs a demon, he finds himself with two mysterious rivals in the detective scene. For Crowley and Aziraphale, it's just a bit of fun, but they end up learning more about human nature than they bargained for.
Skeletons by flawedamythyst (T, 174,262 w. across 3 works || Nightmare Before Christmas Fusion || Implied Character Death) – Sherlock's refusal to talk about his past hides far more skeletons than John could ever have guessed at. Halloween-esque AU.
In the Deep, Where Dark Things Sleep by HardlyFair (M, 184,979 w., 26 Ch. || Scorpio Races AU || Graphic Violence, 1960′s, Slow Burn, Past Drug Use, Bed Sharing, Water Horses, Folklore, First Kiss/Time, Horror Elements, Vet!John, Protective John, Magical Realism, Horse Racing, Mutual Pining, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) – The closer time crawls to November, the more water horses the Scorpio Sea spits out. The colder Thisby becomes. Sherlock Holmes is an islander - completely surrounded by the water. John Watson, he knows, comes from the mainland and lives for the Races. On the first of November, Sherlock will race. The man holding steady by his side is someone he never expects. A Scorpio Races AU (Maggie Stiefvater), but no knowledge of the book needed.
Rom-com adaptations... Series by MorganeUK (T, 211,229+ w across 8 works || Series WiP || Assorted Crossovers || Rom-Coms, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship, Additional Tags Per Story) – Mostly Johnlock with Mystrade or Lestrolly. If you want a movie to be johnlocked, let me know :-) Each story is completely different from the other!
Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.
Over/Under Series by khorazir (M, 319,561 w. across 5 works || Cabin Pressure Crossover || Post-S2 / Reichenbach, ReunionFriendship, Angst, Humour, Pining, Cycling, Mountains, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Case Fic, First Kiss, Pining, Family Issues, Inexperienced Sherlock) – After his Fall, Sherlock travels the world to destroy what remains of James Moriarty's criminal empire. When things don't go according to plan and he finds himself in desperate need of a discreet means of travel, cue MJN Air ...
#steph replies#johnlock fic recs#my fic recs#crossovers and fusions#to read#Anonymous#long post#e-rated fics
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Ch. 33: Do I wake or do I sleep?
Portrait of Rilienus and young Dorian by kallielef who you can (and FREAKING SHOULD) support on Patreon!
The final installment has been posted and @oftachancer and I can now say this story is COMPLETE! We’ll begin to post the sequel very soon, with already 230k+ written ;)
Summary: The newest pupil of the strict Order of Argent, nineteen year old Dorian Pavus, has a penchant for mischief and insubordination, confidence matched only by his talent and recklessness, and an air of superiority that borders on the obscene. The trouble is, Rilienus Maecilia, the private and studious prefect, can’t seem to stay away.
Fandom: Dragon Age
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 162k
Pairings: Dorian Pavus / Rilienus Maecilia
Chapters: 33/33
Read more: From the top; Chapter 33
Excerpt below the cut!
Rilienus, cheekbones shaded, skin like fine whiskey, a smile that made him feel like anything was possible. Sitting among the battlements, staring out across a still-sleeping city, wishing he could fly.
A prince trapped in a tower, locked away from the sunlight, his heart growing pale and wan, but filling like a sail as soon as he was given the slightest touch of affection.
Let me love you, Dorian had murmured against his skin, again and again, holding him tightly, as though their embrace could shelter each other from the coming storms.
#dorian pavus#dorian x rilienus#dragon age fanfiction#dragon age inquisition#pour forth thy soul in ecstasy#midnight writes#ofachancer writes#one of my favorite parts of 2020 was discovering these fine fellows <3
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Blighted Empire: Ch. 7
Abomination
Idiot-idiot-idiot-idiot-idiot!
This repetition had made a home within him since departing camp- hours down the King's Road and Dorian still didn't know who it was directed to. Himself, for his careless actions? Or Evallan for sending him away- and the audacity in which he'd done so?
He knew what to say.
That bloody fool knew exactly what to say to me!
The return-journey for the tower seemed to go by in a flash- even with almost losing his direction. Time was consumed by frantic raving, stopping as little as possible, only the darkening sky indicated to Dorian how swiftly it passed. To his sense, it was as if he'd blinked and the old stone bridge materialised before him, welcoming his horse to charge while he hollered.
“THE GATE! OPEN THE BLOODY GATE!”
Whoever was burdened with that duty reacted soon enough for Dorian to avoid ramming into it, sparing not a moment in pouncing from his steed. He simply left the poor, baffled creature to the stable-hand and sprinted for the tower.
“Pavus! What's going on?!” Someone yelled from the walls- likely a Templar on gate-duty. Paying no mind, Dorian ran up the yard stairs and threw open the great wooden doors.
“Dorian!” This time it was Fila but he couldn't spare breath for her either- shoving passed some mages queued for dinner, he clambered up the winding staircase.
“Dorian- wait! What's happening?!” Her voice was shrill now, light feet easily stalking his. With her as his shadow, he ran until the final ascent brought him to Irving's office. Fists slammed upon the door, as unrestrained as his volume.
“FIRST ENCHANTER! IRVING!” There was no response and the barrage of knuckles became violent- he'd knock the door off its hinges if he had to!
“He's not here!” Fila said breathlessly, gasping alongside him. “Dorian- what's-”
“Where is he?!” Whirling around, he spied the terror in her huge eyes and forced himself to compose. Hissing, the heels of his hands shoved into his forehead and he tried to recall how that stupid Dalish song went.
“I don't know! Some emergency at Redcliffe! He said they'll be back late if they can!”
Exclaiming unintelligibly, Dorian marched for the stairwell and almost knocked into Titus- gulping and slouched on the bannister.
“You two...” He wheezed. “...are really fast.”
“I-I'm sorry, Titus,” Falling over his words, Dorian sidled by him. “I love you but I don't have time!”
Still not quite understanding the depth of his surrogate brother's panic, Titus laughed incredulously.
“You what!?”
“It's not funny, Titus!” Fila scolded, hot on Dorian's heels. “There's something really wrong!”
All he could do now was wait- either for Irving and the Knight Commander, or Marcus and Evallan. There was the possibility Marcus wouldn't be sent over the edge- not a possibility Dorian would stake coin on. A sense of incredible unease gathered in his chest. Of impending, unavoidable disaster.
Both Titus and Fila badgered him all the way to the yard but he couldn't process their questions until he was outside. Viewing the grounds- still devoid of an enraged Marcus- he opened his mind to the constant inquiries.
“Dorian, please!” She grabbed his arm, clearly afraid he'd storm off again. “What's happening?! Where's my brother?!”
“Is the Keeper okay!?” Titus joined the chorus. “Why are you alone?!”
“There was...an incident,” Words tumbled, unsure how to phrase anything. “And if I can't find someone to stop Marcus...I don't know what he'll do.”
“What do you mean 'an incident?!'” Fila cried out, jostling him.
“With your brother.” He stated flatly, staring over her head at the gate. “I...can't explain more.”
He would explain to Irving- and only to Irving.
Then that shameless elf could make no claim of Dorian betraying his word.
Fila's grip loosed, the three speechless for some time. All the while, Dorian watched the gate.
“What...do we do?” Titus squeaked- Dorian had some thoughts on that.
“We wait for Irving or Greagoir...” He conveyed in a distant voice, attention never diverting from where he expected Marcus to approach. “If Marcus arrives first, I need you to follow us- to see where he takes the Keeper. Then you return here, and you wait. Hopefully someone will arrive before anything escalates...”
Another pause from the trio, then Fila piping up;
“What are you going to do...?”
“I'll protect him,” Dorian answered without hesitation. “However I have to do it.”
“You shouldn't go alone!” Titus protested- of course he would.
“Don't get in the way, Titus!” His gaze diverted to the youth, eyes narrowed. “If something happens to either of you...Maker, please, just take care of each other! Leave this to me.”
A bottom lip protruded and Dorian knew he wished to argue- but Fila slipped her hand into his and squeezed. Titus relented with a stubborn frown, probably realising the truth of Dorian's statement- they had to protect each other.
It was Dorian who was sworn to Evallan.
There was no knowing when Marcus would arrive. While the rest of the tower dined and prepared for evening, they stood vigil at the tower entrance. New anxieties sprouted the longer they waited- what if Marcus had executed him on impulse, or taken him elsewhere? For all Dorian knew, he could be transporting the elf straight to Aeonar- or some other mage prison. Then it would become a matter of discovering the location and somehow freeing him- politically, or through other means.
I'll make apostates out of all of us if I have to.
Fortunately it would never come to that.
Brutish shouts erupted from the other side of the gate, chains creaking in response, giving room for several horses to rush through. Firming his stance, Dorian scanned each rider as they hastily dismounted; Marcus, Augustus- and Evallan.
Crimson in rage and moving with purpose, Marcus left his horse and issued an order to his man, then barked at Evallan.
Dorian's heart plummeted from chest to stomach and nested there. The Keeper was in a sorry state; robes unkempt, hair matted, circlet cracked and the whole pitiful image encrusted in blood. Still he walked with spine rigid and eyes cool, attempting to force dignity where there could be none- especially with Marcus pushing him onward.
Squaring up his shoulders on their approach, Dorian tore into the commander with his eyes, prompting him once they were in earshot-
“What have you done to him, you madman!?”
“Out of my fucking way, fairy!” Marcus demanded, Evallan glaring at Dorian alongside him- ungrateful bloody! -
“The First Enchanter isn't here!”
“I don't need the blighted First Enchanter!” The Templar barged through, yanking his charge along by the collar. He was delayed by Titus- springing forth with a growl.
“You don't have the Maker-damned right-!”
True that may be- Marcus hardly cared and his lyrium-addled recruit had no ability to. Responding to some earlier instruction, Augustus smacked the youth aside and this finally provoked the subdued Keeper, Dalish insults exploding from him. Dorian comprehended just enough to conclude Evallan had more or less accused Marcus of bullying a child.
At the same moment the elf was rearing up into the commander's face, challenging him. This was met by a brash headbutt, so forceful it propelled Evallan inside.
Conflicted on who to aid first, Dorian glanced at Titus to ensure he was unharmed and not about to interfere- safely held by Fila. So he bounded after Marcus- the Templar dragging the disoriented mage onto his feet, Augustus latching to the opposite arm when Evallan swayed.
They led their captive through stairwells and Dorian followed, battling on whether to speak or to wait for opportunity- what sort of opportunity, he hadn't decided. He was also conscious of Fila and Titus skulking after some distance away- but made a point to attract no attention.
Marcus' goal became clear. Dorian saw fit to inform him as they traversed a familiar hall;
“I told you the First Enchanter isn't here!”
“And I told you,” Marcus spat, boot smashing into the office door. “I'm not looking for the fucking First Enchanter.”
“That's funny,” Dorian chortled, somewhat crazed. “Because that's his door you're kicking in!”
Unresponsive, the commander kicked until the wood flew off its hinges- then threw Evallan like more debris, so that he stumbled into a kneel before the writing desk. Both Templars marched in after and Marcus made a bee-line for the corner- where a chest sat.
While the elf fought to stand, Dorian barked from the doorway and Marcus assaulted the container.
“What are you even doing?!”
Glancing at him, the Templar first spied Evallan and snarled.
“Stay down, Lavellan.”
The Keeper's chest rose and fell in silent annoyance, but he obeyed.
“As for you...” Narrowing eyes on Dorian, he said simply. “I'm doing my fucking job.”
READ MORE ON AO3
#dragon age#dai#dragon age inquisition#inquisition#dragon age fanfic#dorian pavus#m!lavellan#pavellan#apocalypse au#fanfiction#dragon age fanfiction#writers on tumblr#blighted empire#my writing#my aus
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The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Monday, April 26 - Tuesday, April 27
Oz: Willow. Hey. I tried calling.
Willow: Yeah, I've been up at the library. How are you feeling?
Oz: What do you mean?
Willow: well, you weren't in class. Again.
Oz: Yeah, I was practicing. Hey, Shy's playing again tonight.
Willow: Shy?
Oz: yeah, Veruca's band and they asked me to sit in with them. It would be kinda cool if you were there.
Willow: Two Veruca shows in two nights. Are you sure you wanna share your groupie? I think I'm gonna study. Because of the fun.
Oz: Well, yeah I guess how I could see it be dull for ya.
~~Buffy Episode #61: "Beer Bad"~~
The Sunnydale Herald is currently looking for a few good editors! Contributing to the Herald is a great way to get your Buffy on! For more information, send us an ask (on Tumblr) or post a reply to this post (on Livejournal or Dreamwidth)!
[Drabbles & Short Fiction]
The intervention from the Whitelighter (Buffy, Dawn, Willow, T, Charmed xover) by Bl4ckHunter
Connected (Giles/Jenny, M) by RoselynnThornwood
Bring Me To Life (Buffy/Spike, M) by MissLuci
Something True (Buffy/Spike, M) by MissLuci
Willie Hotnoodle's Cavern of Bliss (Buffy/Spike, M) by MissLuci
Spuffy Loves Luci (Buffy/Spike, G) by MissLuci
The Watcher calls on The Punisher (Wesley, Holtz, Justine, T, The Punisher xover) by Aragorn_II_Elessar
Willow's Way (Willow/Faith, E) by silkyjasminewalker
One Good Day (Buffy/Giles, T) by froxyn
I'm All Stay-Inny (Buffy/Faith, T) by IvorySteel92
The Cursed Bank Job (Dawn, T, Leverage xover) by Slingshot
Perchance (Buffy/Spike, E) by Holly
[Chaptered Fiction]
Daniel The Vampire Slayer Ch. 1/? (OC, M) by HollerAtYourBouyancy
Dark Willow CH. 1/? (Ensemble, M) by JohnAustin19
Daylight Burning Ch. 1-3/3 (COMPLETE) (Buffy/Spike, M) by MissLuci
Gay Xander AU (Ensemble, Xander/Scott Hope, unrated) by megryan1989
Walking in the Sand, Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Axell
Every Letter That You Write Me, Chapter 43 (Buffy/Spike, M) by othellia
A Chance In Hell, Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Grief Counseling
Defying Gravity, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by bewildered
Child of Shadow, Chapter 17 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Sigyn
One Chance, Chapter 20 (Buffy/Spike, E) by AtlantianDream
Amidst The Dead, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Megan
The Cookie Incident, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, E) by DeamonQueen
Darkest Day, Ascending Light, Chapter 5 (Buffy/Spike, M) by Megan
Soldiers of the Light, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, M) by sandy_s
Not Heads or Tails, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by bramcrackers
Getaway, Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, M) by chaoz
While the Watcher's Away, Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Nik84
These Violent Delights, Chapter 52 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Touchstoneaf
Lost & Found, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, E) by bramcrackers
The Eleventh Hour, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Wonder and Ashes
Buffy...4.0?ish?, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, G) by Sweetbutnutty
Trust: A Beginner's Guide, Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, E) by Dorians Kitten
The Blue Eye of the Storm, Chapter 16 (Buffy/Spike, E) by MaggieLaFey
All These Things Ch. 14 (Buffy, T, SG1 xover) by
To Our Own: Apocryphal C. 7 (Xander, T, SG1 xover) by JBosch
Marked Ch. 15 (Faith, E, SPN xover) by Holly
With Sprinkles Ch. 18 (Xander, T, assorted anime xovers) by dogbertcarroll
The One Eyed Carpenter and the Moon Maid Ch. 12 (Xander, T, UFO xover) by
Buffy's Pack Ch. 6 (Buffy/Xander, E) by
[Images, Audio & Video]
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[Fandom Discussions]
is there any fanfiction of giles becoming a fighter pilot or a grocer by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
I choose to believe that season one Xander had a whole cupboard of plain black, tan and deep brown clothes by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
Help breaks my heart more than almost any other episode. by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
jenny calendar has a poster in her computer science classroom by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
side character deaths in buffy by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
the song playing when buffy and angel kiss at the end of the episode Angel by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
I never noticed how when willow says ‘it’s kind of novel how he’ll stay young and handsome forever" by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
why Buffy would turn Owen down by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
how am I only just discovering the podcast buffering the vampire slayer by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
I fully understand angel living in a basement apartment by firemanwhenthefloodsrollback
I love Xander Harris. by gothic-buffy
anybody else ever think about how the students who were possessed by hyenas remember eating their principal. by gothic-buffy
Hm. I actually like Angel better on BTVS than AtS. by gothic-buffy
Random thought of the morning by captainskyson
Faith’s motivation make a 10000% more sense when you take into account the fact that she’s obviously in love with Buffy. by yourfriendlyneighborhoodbimbo
Angelus murdered Angel’s little sister, Kathy, and it’s so weird to me how it never gets brought up again. by yourfriendlyneighborhoodbimbo
by yourfriendlyneighborhoodbimbo
Who is the past slayer that Anya kept alive? by buffythecomicslayer
Vampires show up on camera in the Buffyverse. by highonbandcandy
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Naughty Thought by Multiple Authors
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"Empty Places" (B 7.19): Why does Giles send Spike on the mission instead of Faith? by https://www.buffyforums.net/forum/jossverse/buffy/season-7/716868-empty-places-b-7-19-why-does-giles-send-spike-on-the-mission-instead-of-faith
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Did Drusilla give Buffy’s dream regarding Jenny Calendar in Innocence by American Aurora
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Was it okay for Principal Robin Wood to try to kill Spike by beeemkcl
Was it okay for Principal Robin Wood to try to kill Spike Part II by beeemkcl
Anointed One Question by EntMoot76
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Season one cliffhangers? by koul1515
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Underutilized Characters by AiyanaPass
BtVS S7: What do you think the First Evil's plans for Buffy and Spike were? by beeemkcl
Willow raped Tara. by Anonymous
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Characters you thought would become important during your first watch that never did? by precita
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I think like a lot of things in season 6 Warren's misogyny was overdone by LightBlueSky55
Did anyone else dislike the way they kept saying "Spike's chip" by precita
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Drusilla could have been such a powerful force for good by Laedrin
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Why Would Killing the Potentials End the Slayer Line? by SnowWhiteCampCat
Harmony headcanon - MILD SPOILERS FOR S4 ONWARDS by umadeabear
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Dawn in earlier seasons by BreakTacticF0
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Rekindle
Verb: to revive something that has been lost
Eluned woke a few hours later; it was later than she normally got up and she could hear the faint sounds of the guard changing in the corridor below her quarters. She wiggled across the bed and craned her head up to look out the balcony doors. The morning sky was clear in the wake of the spring storm that had kept them cooped up in Skyhold. As soon as the scouts reported that the pass was clear, they’d be heading out to Emprise du Lion to deal with whatever the red templars were doing there. Hopefully by the time she dealt with that, they’d have some news on the Wardens from Hawke.
She let her head fall back to the pillow and paused. She could smell Iron Bull on the fabric; the distinctive warmly resinous, slightly spicy scent typical of qunari, mixed with leather and smoke. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, recalling the feel of his hands on her body; long firm strokes to sooth, feather light touches to explore; warm calloused hands that could rip an enemy apart, took her apart with gentle care. Heat pooled low in her belly and she squirmed seeking a bit of friction, she hadn’t felt anyone touch her with such tenderness since—she shied away from the memory of silver eyes and crooked horns the moment it popped into her head. That was another life and one that was never going to have a happy ending.
She rolled over onto her back with a huff and stared at the vaulted ceiling high above her. What am I doing? she thought. I’m supposed to be working towards destroying some twisted creature and finding a way home, not falling into bed with someone to work out my issues.
After a few minutes, she rolled onto her side and clutched the pillow with Bull’s scent to her chest and inhaled again. What if there isn’t a way back? Amund said the way was closed and I had to find another path; what if he meant another path for my life because returning to my former one was no longer possible?
Disturbed by her current train of thought, she sat up still clutching the pillow. If my path is to defeat Corypheus, do I wait for something afterwards or take what I can now, even if it’s a distraction, in case there isn’t an after?
She stood up and tossed the pillow back against the headboard. Ugh, I’m just going to drive myself nuts over this, and I don’t even know what this is yet.
After dressing, she headed down to the main hall for some breakfast before meeting with Dorian for their scheduled sparring session to find him already up and breaking his fast at Varric’s usual corner of the hall. Varric gave her the once over, “hey Songbird. You doing all right? You’re usually up and about much earlier than this.”
“I’m fine, Varric, thank you. Just had a long philosophical debate with myself.”
“A philosophical debate…” Dorian said, sceptically. Varric’s expression changed from concerned to speculative.
She nodded without elaborating on the source of her debate and tucked into some porridge and stewed fruits, ignoring the looks from the two men.
“I over-heard one of the scouts reporting that the pass should be clear tomorrow.”
“Then pack your bags, we’ll be heading out right away to see what these red templars are doing,” she gestured.
“Mountains, snow, and cold. ‘Let’s take Dorian’,” griped Dorian, his voice raised in falsetto.
Eluned fluttered her lashes at him. “Would you like me to leave you here, Princess?” Varric chuckled.
“Of course not! But I request a warmer destination next time.”
“You might get your wish. Hopefully we’ll have news from Hawke by the time we get back.”
Varric’s smile immediately dropped at the implication.
Continue reading on Ao3 (copy & paste URL):
archiveofourown.org/works/14672019/chapters/44505463
or start at the beginning:
archiveofourown.org/works/14672019/chapters/33896955
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The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 65 - 67
I want this book over and done with
The Lock had crafted the sarcophagus from the mountain itself.
It had taken every ember of its power to bind Erawan within the stone, to seal him inside.
Chapter 65 opens up with Elena’s POV on how Erawan is sealed up.
When [Elena] had stolen the Lock from her father all those months ago, she had not known—had not understood —the truth depth of its power. Still did not know why he had forged it. Only that once, just once, could the Lock’s power be wielded. And that power … oh, that mighty, shattering power … it had saved them all.
Holy fragments, Batman! Holy em dashes, Batman! Was SJM typing with one hand or?
Gavin, sprawled and bloody behind her, stirred. His face was so mangled she could barely see the handsome, fierce features beneath.
Gavin got his ass whooped by Erawan but Elena still needs to bust a nut over how hot he once was lmfaoooooo you’re killing me SJM
But even Gavin had not known what [Elena]’d been planning. What she’d stolen and harbored all these months.
She did not regret it. Not when it had spared him from death. Worse.
Lmao is this an unintentional parallel to Alien and Rowboat because i am laughing Elena is punished for keeping secrets but Alien blatantly gets away with it holy fucking shit
Some spirits show up and tell Elena despite her efforts, no cigar. Erawan is gonna bust out of there eventually.
“He will rise again one day,” said the one of darkness and death. “He will awaken. You have wasted our Lock on a fool’s errand, when you could have solved all, had you only the patience and wits to understand.”
“Then let him awaken,” Elena begged, her voice breaking. “Let someone else inherit this war—someone better prepared.”
I’m a sucker for conflict like this, where the older generation passes their problems onto the younger generation and the falling out from that, but sadly SJM didn’t give me any good character to inherit these problems for me to care about. Such a good concept wasted on a shitty disguise for fantasy porn.
Elena has to promise she’ll help whoever holds the Wyrdkeys next to fix the problems she made. Thanks, Elena, for making me read Alien’s shitty adventure. The scene swaps over to another memory.
The Princess of Eyllwe had been wandering the Stone Marshes for weeks, searching for answers to riddles posed a thousand years ago. Answers that might save her doomed kingdom.
Wait.....Nehemia?
Nehemia, baby, what are you doing here? Flee this shitty novel! Run my child, be free and flee to the land of actual good writing!
So Elena tells Nehemia about Alien’s destiny to save everyone (gag) and to go forth and seek out Alien to help her.
“And the price?”
Elena hated them, then.
Hated the gods who had demanded this. Hated herself. Hated that this was asked, all these bright lights …
“You will not see Eyllwe again.”
Wow. So SJM really made a black woman’s entire character arc about dying for her precious snowflake OC, huh....SJM really out here dong Nehemia dirty like this.........
Nehemia swallowed. “Then I shall help in whatever way I can. For Erilea. And my people.”
GROSS SOBBING
NEHEMIA DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN WHAT THIS SHITTY SERIES DID TO HER NEHEMIA BABY I AM SO SORRY
Chapter 66 opens with Assdion’s POV... great. Can I please see Maeve punch him in his stupid face?
Aedion Ashryver had been trained to kill men and hold a line in battle since he was old enough to lift a sword.
SJM is still attempting to get me to feel bad for Assdion. Well guess what Sarah, too little too late.
But Aedion’s duty wasn’t to remind [the soldiers] of the blunt facts. His duty was to make them willing to die, to make this fight seem utterly necessary.
Anything for your precious queen Alien, huh? Eat my ass, Assdion.
[Lysandra] had modified her sea dragon. Given it longer limbs—with prehensile thumbs.
Given her tail more strength, more control.
Holy fucking shit, and I thought Alien was a Mary Sue!!! So Lysandra can not only perfectly shift into a creature she’s never seen in the flesh before, she can also modify it like it’s an RPG??? Holy fucking shit Sarah quit making all your OCs over powered!! How the fuck am I supposed to be feel any tension or fear???
Arrows fired with better accuracy than the Valg foot soldiers, shooting like those rays of sunshine into the water. [Lysandra]’d prepared for that, too.
They bounced off scales of Spidersilk. Hours spent studying the material grafted onto Abraxos’s wings had taught her about it—how to change her own skin into the impenetrable fiber.
1. “rays of sunshine” the fucking imagery???? Does SJM know how words work???
2. HOLY SHIT, PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS MUCH??? We were given no indication Lysandra had been studying Abraxos’s wings until now, what a fucking ass pull!!! If you’re going to introduce new sudden magical elements you have to show them beforehand, otherwise it looks like you wrote yourself into a corner and just farted out a solution last minute!!!!
I hate this book. I hated it before, but I really hate it. The fact that so many talented authors receive no attention but SJM’s absolute garbage dumpster fire novels that are just for porn with no other thought put into them get all this praise makes me want to jump off a bridge.
Anyways, now we’re in Dorito’s POV and SJM Dorito is splooging over how powerful Rowan is. Same old, same old.
But when Aelin found their bodies, or whatever was left of them if the sea didn’t claim them … she might very well end the world for rage. Maybe she should. Maybe this world deserved it.
I mean, if she ended the world this series would be over and I’m on board with that, but you guys have spent this entire novel fighting to protect the world from the bad guys and now suddenly when things get hard you’re like, “eh fuck it the world doesn’t deserve our help”? Wow, some heroes you guys are.
[Dorian] wished he’d had more time to talk to the witch. To get to know her beyond what his body had already learned.
I’m not touching this because it’s beyond fucking stupid and this is the moment SJM should’ve woken up and realized her precious romances have no chemistry and are simply there for porn purposes.
Anyways, surprise surprise, Rowboat’s begging actually worked and his cousins start firing at their own ships. Score one for ass pulls!
Rowan had told Enda about Aelin.
The next chapter opens up with this, and I’m honestly baffled. If Rowboat told his cousins about the selfish shitlord that is Alien, you’d think they’d be more than eager to destroy her ship. But I suppose not.
So [Rowan]’d gone, ship to ship. To the cousins he knew might listen.
An act of treason—that was what he had begged them for. Treason and betrayal so great they could never go home. Their lands, their titles, would be seized or destroyed.
So why the fuck did they decide to help him?
No, I’m serious, Rowan doesn’t tell us. If I was one of his cousins and this fucker showed up after betraying our queen and begged me to risk my own life and family to save him, I’d tell him to go fuck himself.
Is SJM fucking with us on purpose? Because none of this makes any sense. They have no logical reason to help Rowan at the risk of themselves, and I’d bet every cent I ever owned Rowboat won’t lift a finger to help any of his cousins after Maeve kicks them out.
SJM is a shitty writer. She’s worse than fucking George Lucas. That’s right, I said it, don’t fucking come @ me.
Maeve wouldn’t allow it. She’d wipe the Whitethorn line off the map for this.
If Rowboat’s cousin and his lover die because of this I am going to break something.
Anyways, Rowboat and the gang start winning because of fucking course they do, and Lorcan realizes Maeve isn’t actually on any of her ships, but on the same beach Elide was ordered to wait on. Well, duh, did you really expect Maeve to be that stupid?
The chapter is over, and oh my god less then 10 chapters..... I can do this, I can do this...........
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ToG Read-A-Long, Empire of Storms, day 10
Ch 58
Ok so then… there’s no lock. Or the lock is already in possession of somebody else?
Who has the lock, then? The witch clans?
Maybe Baba Yellowlegs had it? In the traveling carnival? Maybe Lorcan and Elide can find it if they go back with their traveling carnival friends?
Ansel is here! I remember you. You broke Celaena’s heart, once. You made her afraid of opening up to people. Of making friends.
You kinda suck. Are you… here to make amends?
Ch 59
I guess SO!
I bet Aedion feels like a total ass right now.
The scene at the end with Aedion and Lysandra? Talk about putting the breaks on. Girl, he already proposed to you! What part of “something between us” do you still need convincing of, lol.
If she just wants to be friends, she just wants to be friends. I guess that’ll have to be enough. But I do feel kind of bad for Aedion, it sucks to put your heart out there and get received like that.
Ch 60
"There was not one hour that I did not think about what I did in the desert. How you fired that arrow after twenty-one minutes. You told me twenty, that you'd shoot even if I wasn't out of range. I was counting; I knew how many it had been. You gave me an extra minute."
AW.
That actually means a lot. This girl was the first one to break Celaena’s heart, and it’s good to know that she forgave her. That she was gonna come free her from Endovier. Damn, friendship really does mean forever in this story. And Ansel is a real valuable friend to have.
(My only wish is she would be nicer to Manon?)
(Like I get it, the connection to the Wastes isn’t just gonna be easily forgotten by either of them, but ouch)
(Everyone be nice to Manon, please!)
(She’s on your side, so treat her with respect!)
Another Manorian scene!
(It’s ok you guys, I’m a big girl, I can read about people having sex even if I don’t personally ship it, lol)
(I like reading smut! It’s actually kind of my favorite! I just like it better when… I can have feelings, and get emotionally invested in the characters, y’know?)(I also enjoy sex just for the sake of sex, so I’m happy to read any smut SJM is willing to write, because she’s really good at it, and it’s fun to read)
(I’ll stop picking on these two now)
(They seem happy and healthy and horny, and honestly, good for them)
Maeve is here to crash the party. Well well well. Maybe Aelin is gonna defeat her? Find some way to trick her into ending the oath on all the rest of them? Now would be a good time to do that, because I think Elide would cry a lot if Fenrys and Gavriel decide to obey her and kill Lorcan.
Ch 61
What is Rowan doing so secretly!
Is he earning alliances? I’m real curious.
I would like some clarification on mates and mating, as it pertains to this series. Are mating bonds treated like the most supreme thing in this world, the way they are in ACOTAR? Are they rare? If a person were to lose their mate, would they ever be able to find another one? How many mates can someone have? Is there a way to break a mating bond, if you don’t want to be in it anymore? Are Rowan and Aelin allowed to call themselves mates, because they’ve fallen in love, and claimed each other with bites, or is it more complicated than that? Would people respect a relationship like theirs - if they choose to be together even though they’re not fated mates - or is it taboo to devote yourself to someone like that?
Ch 62
“Dorian cut the Queen of Terrasen a wry glance. “People other than you can solve things, you know.” “
Lol. Yeah, we know!
Good job, baby. You put that mind to good work. You’re good at riddles!
(I think I spaced out, because I don’t remember reading that riddle) (but still. Good job!)
I’m kinda excited for a Manon and Aelin solo adventure!
Ch 63
So um.
No solo adventure, huh?
Just gonna stay right here with the rest of the cast. That’s - not what I wanted, but ok.
Dorian talking to Rowan about dying, oof 💔
At least they are among friends.
(They’re not gonna die tho! By the hands of Maeve? She wishes.)
Ch 64
Manon and Aelin solo adventure!
Let the bond of friendship begin!
I’m hyped!
I was talking to my ER provider about where I am in these books. He was very enthusiastic about telling me that Tower of Dawn is his favorite book in the series, and that I just need to hang in there, because it’s about to get so good.
I didn’t say I’m not enjoying this book, but I was complaining about the pacing, and how I’m sick of the stakes being so high all the time, and just ready for the characters to be happy and be in love. Which. I do still stand by. But also. I am sick of the action sequences that feel like filler episode fights. This book has been kinda nonstop with them. For all that Lysandra complains about her fear of losing friends, it doesn’t seem like that’s a reality. They’re kinda stacked, in terms of strength and power and magic vs the bad guys. I feel like I haven’t really worried about anyone, except Elide, but that was before she and Lorcan joined up with Aelin. Now that they’re all together I feel like they’re pretty much unstoppable.
I hope I’m not about to eat my words, because I DON’T want to see anybody get hurt. But yeah. Would like things to move along, plot wise outside of the action and fighting. I’m ready to feel something emotional.
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A Lamb Among Wolves Ch:40
Chapter Forty: Unshakable
Agony. It was the only word that could possibly come to mind as she watched the exchange play out between the two wolves she loved so dearly. It felt like a twister full of daggers was swirling within her chest, and every hateful utterance or spiteful statement was like another errant blade caught in the squall dragging itself along her very core. She found herself immobilized as she watched the warring wolves, hidden in the darkness behind the slightly opened corner door to her husband's study. Watching in mute horror through the tiny slit as the two wolves gnashed their bared fangs at one another. She desperately wanted to step in, to stand between the pair and try to force them to reconcile before it went too far. But with each increasingly heated statement came a fresh pang of pain within her chest that forced her to remain still. Trapped there, unable to do anything but watch. Her one paw wrapped on the doorknob trembling while the other gripped lamely at the rake she had carried indoors. And each time she had nearly found the power within herself to enter the room, another snarling accusation or verbal attack between the wolves would send a fresh surge of paralysis to run through her.
Audrey had always taken pride in her ability to read mammals, especially those closest to her. It was a trait she thought she had in common with her husband, even if it was something her family had never taken it up as one of their signature traits in the same way the Hunters pack had. Even without such a tenant hanging over her families head, she had always been able to bring enough to the table to stand on equal footing with Dorian. It was something she had finely honed over the years, and it had helped her nip a number of brewing spats and arguments in the bud well before they could even get off the ground.
When it came to her family, she could read the subtle nuances of body language and the tone of someone's voice quite well. And that always managed to be more than enough to give her deep insight into just how serious an underlying situation or problem was, especially when it came to Dorian. But the fight she was witnessing now told her just how out of practice she had grown in the years since the boys had left the ranch.
With her children gone, the relative quietness of rural life had dulled her senses. And despite her husband's relatively rare grumpy days, the wolf was generally honest with her about everything. It was the kind of thing that prevented the need to probe any deeper into his statements, to study for any hidden meaning, and without a job like Dorian's that put such a skill to practice every day she lacked the opportunity to regularly exercise it.
And that's why she had failed to notice the storm clouds that had begun to form the moment she had revealed to Dorian who Vernon was bringing back to the ranch to join the family for the reunion. Clouds that had continued to build on the horizon from the moment the pair had set foot on the ranch. Looking back, perhaps she had been ignoring them, but more than likely she had naively believed that whatever the problem at paw was, it was probably nothing more than a trifle. But either way, the she-wolf cursed herself for simply brushing aside the red flags long enough to allow this whole mess to come about.
It was far too late to intercede now. She had blithely let the pressure continue to build without taking a long enough time to actually look for the root cause. She wouldn't be able to make any reasonable headway trying to act as a mediator between the two. If she chose to run in at any point as the wolves argued, to get between them and try to prevent the whole argument from spiraling any more out of control than it already was, they would simply argue around her. They had both been allowed too much time to entrench themselves within their own minds. To build their barriers as high as they could as they stared each other down. At this moment they were past the point of negotiation, past the point of being open to reason. As painful as it all was to watch from the sidelines, the argument needed to play out before the she-wolf could finally do anything to fix it. If only she had known just how far the two would force each other to go in an effort to get the other to budge.
She had dropped the ball completely, and she hated herself for it. She had assured Vernon she would talk to Dorian about his behavior as soon as things had gone completely sour during the first night's dinner, and while she had done so behind the privacy of their bedroom doors, she had failed to pry deeply enough into his hidden motivations.
At the time the source seemed feasible to write off as it simply being related to the ewe's former reputation, and while she hadn't been able to get Dori to outright admit it, he had begrudgingly promised to try better the following day. It was a big pill to swallow after all, even with the ewe's more recent heroics to diminish from her past actions. And while Dori and herself lived by letting the past go in favor of those who were trying to make amends, that didn't necessarily mean it was always easy.
Even Audrey was somewhat reluctant about the ewe when she first heard about her over the phone. After all, until Vernon had reminded her that Dawn had turned out to be the same lamb that he had been friends with in elementary school, all Audrey had to go on was her involvement in the night howler scandal. And despite her willingness to give mammals a chance, it would be a lie to admit she was ready to welcome the diminutive ewe with open arms from the start.
But as she listened to her son go on and on about his mate, pouring his heart out to the she-wolf about her, she knew whatever misgivings she had would need to be put aside in favor of simply trusting her son's judgment. And by extension, she knew it would be as difficult, if not more so for her husband.
Meeting the ewe was what changed all that for her. She was such a small, timid little thing, shaking like a leaf as she quietly fiddled with her hooves in the passenger seat. At first glance, it just didn't seem possible that the slight, delicate ewe she was looking at had been capable of hurting anyone. The way she carried herself, her mannerisms, and the way she spoke to Audrey when the wolfess was able to finally draw her into a conversation. Well, even Audrey's rather rusty senses could easily tell that Dawn was more sick to death about the whole reunion than anyone else. But when it came to talking about her son, the ewe's entire demeanor seemed to change. She was still nervous yes, but there was something behind her eyes, a determination in the little mammal that reminded her so much of herself at that age, and the heart she wore on her sleeves proudly when it came to Vernon. The love was genuine, and it had melted the she-wolf's heart in seconds. And she was sure given enough time and exposure it would do the same to her stubborn old husband. She couldn't imagine the Dorian she knew being unable to see that same overwhelming love that the ewe held for their son.
But after the disastrous events of the couples second night out she should have known there was more to Dorian's problem than simply the ewe's past exploits. Even more than the supposed 'Hunter Family Reputation' or Zach's accident. And it was something in hindsight she knew she should have headed off at the pass right then and there. She shouldn't have simply made him sleep alone, she should have hashed it out. But at that point, she hadn't even known the full extent of the secrets he was keeping. Not until it had all come pouring out of Dawn at the family barbecue.
She could still see the crumpled little ewe fresh in her mind, gasping for breath as she sobbed through her retelling of her confrontation with Dorian. Of the words her husband used as her tore into the little lamb who had been brave enough to face him. It wasn't typical of Dorian to speak like that, even at his angriest. It was abnormal, and in the decades she had been by the white wolf's side she had never once seen that side of him. Yet she could tell the ewe's claims were true by the earnestness of her tears, and all the current performance going on before her right now did was simply eliminate any shadow of a doubt about Dorian's erratic and inappropriate behavior. The heavy drinking, the screaming, the shattered glasses scattering across the dim study. These were not the actions of the Dorian she knew and loved. Something was wrong, and the situation was escalating faster and faster as she watched the older wolf dig in deeper.
She tightened her grasp on the handle of the old faded rake she had pulled from the barn as Dorian began to imply that Dawn had simply been using Vernon's affection for her. The muscles around her heart tightening as images of the whimpering ewe returned like a hot flash in her mind. It was only the fact that Vernon cut him off, preventing him from further defaming the ewe that kept Audrey from breaking her own vow not to intercede. The rake in her paws was aching to swat the law wolf upside the head, but Vernon had managed to keep his cool for the both of their sakes. And as the she-wolf relaxed her grip, she found her attention drawn back to the old rake in her paws.
The rake was another mistake. Not that Dorian didn't deserve a swift swatting after the things he had said about Dawn. But more so that she had let her emotions blind her so much that she had left a ticking time bomb in her brief absence.
Vernon had always been a hot-blooded pup when it came to his emotions, something she knew he had inherited directly from her. Whenever he felt an injustice was being done he was sure to speak up, and most often Audrey had been the one to encourage that behavior in him. But that quality had proved to be a double-edged sword during Vernon's adolescence just as it had been with her own, a quality of hers she still struggled to keep under control to this day. His rebellion against them and the system that had taken his friend away was proof of just how difficult the wolf's sense of righteous indignation was to contend with. In moments like this, the case was much the same. And with Dorian being the root of the problem and not the voice of reason in this situation, who would be left to try to talk Vernon down with her just as emotionally compromised as he was?
And so while she was seething over Dorian's behavior as she trudged toward the barn, she had left her son behind to seethe without any mammal that could capably talk some sense to the wolf in his state. She had left the barbecue without her watchful eye, and as always Yuri had used that window of opportunity to torment the already troubled wolf without her there to reign him in.
She couldn't blame Vernon for the state she found him in upon her return, his muzzle wrapped around Yuri's throat. Nor could she truly blame Yuri at this point, as his behavior toward Vernon was always abhorrent. No, in her mind the blame fell squarely on her shoulders. But that didn't make it any less horrific to see. Her sons, her little pups quite literally at one another's throat had managed to shake the she-wolf to her very core. The only positive thing she could say that had come from the situation was that it had managed to fully reawaken those dulled senses within her. Despite the tears that were flowing as she watched Vernon's tearful apology to the rest of the family and his mate, her mind was clear and sharp in regards to what needed to be done. The time had come to take back control of her home, of her family, and the only way she would achieve it was by keeping her emotions tempered and focused at where they were needed the most. Bringing the rake along just offered extra bargaining power, a totem meant to give her all the more strength and resolve to follow through. But all of that power seemed to leave her as soon as she heard Vernon declare he was leaving the pack.
At first, she hadn't been sure she had heard it correctly, but as the wolf reiterated his intention it felt as though her heart had suddenly stopped. It had felt as though a fist had landed squarely in the center of her chest. Audrey clasped lamely at her aching bosom as tears began to form in her eyes.
'No...' She mouthed inaudibly. 'No, no, no..." The wolfess whimpered softly.
It wasn't surprising just how much Vernon was willing to put on the line for his mate, but what shocked her was just how bold a move he was making. Had she been in the same situation, the wolfess couldn't have even fathomed pulling from the families accursed native roots. Not for lack of desire, but simply because she wouldn't have even remembered such a small clause in wolf cultural history. Of course, she knew what he was trying to do almost immediately. It was an obvious drastic measure to make Dorian listen to him, a plea to get the older wolf to understand just how strongly he loved his mate. But her bigger concern was the rising fear that Dorian wouldn't back down despite the severity of it.
"Dorian, don't..." Audrey muttered weakly. "Don't do-"
"Get out..." It was barely audible, but the silence hanging over the room had amplified the white wolf's response to such a degree that it sounded as if he had shouted it directly into her ear. Once again the she-wolf's heart seemed to stop as she fell to her knees behind the door. The wolf had made her fears a horrific reality, and his sharp reiteration only managed to act as another punch to Audrey's gut as she began to silently weep.
"GET OUT!" The white wolf snarled. "GET OFF THIS RANCH AND RUN BACK TO THAT CITY OF YERS!"
Audrey bit down on a finger in an effort to keep her sobs from growing loud enough to be heard.
'How could he?' She thought to herself, the burning pain in her chest swelling with each sob she tried to keep down. 'How could he do this!?'
"I'LL BE OUT FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING!" Vernon snapped back. Audrey could see the shimmering tears forming in his eyes despite his attempts to look imposing. It was clear he hadn't expected Dorian to take him up on his gamble, just as she hadn't. "THEN YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE ME AGAIN!"
"AND Y'ALL CAN KEEP YER PRECIOUS REPUTATION INTACT!" Vernon continued, but Dorian clearly wasn't backing down. The white wolf leaned up in his seat, placing his paws on his desk as he glared back at their son.
"GOOD!" He heard Dorian retort. " US HUNTERS DON'T NEED ANYMORE TROUBLE FROM AN...OMEGA LIKE YOU!"
Audrey felt almost as if she were going to drop dead on the spot. The agonizing pain that tore through her insides as Dorian's vile decree registered was almost impossible to bear. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her as she tried her damnedest to keep her paw clasped tightly around the doorknob to keep from slumping to the floor completely. Her vision was blurry now, the steady stream of tears almost blinding her as she struggled to watch the scene. She could see the vague blur of Vernon storming away from the desk, only becoming clear again as she wiped a shaky paw over her eyes. As Vernon came to a stop at the far office door, it was only then that she noticed it seemed to be slightly ajar, something she was certain hadn't been the case early.
A slight squint managed to catch the glimmer of the familiar orange and brown patterning of Dawn's tortoiseshell glasses barely visible through the slit. The ewe was quietly watching the fight from the other side, eavesdropping just as Audrey had been.
The horrific realization was enough to fill the she-wolf with overwhelming nausea. Her stomach muscles clenching tightly as the myriad of emotions whirled through her head. It was bad enough for Vernon to be subjected to this, to suffer being spurned by his father over Dawn's past, something Audrey saw as trivial. But for Dawn to see it too made it that much worse. Disbelief, shock, horror, sadness, guilt, each emotions fighting to hold the dominant spot as they flushed over her whole body in wave after agonizing wave. And now it was topped off with a fresh heaping of terrible shame over her beastly husband's behavior.
'Stop, stop him!' Her mind was screaming. 'Apologize Dori! Don't be dumb! Apologize before it's too late!' It was what she wanted to say, what she wanted to yell to her husband, but it died in her throat as bile rapidly filled the empty space. She could see the regret imprinted on every line and wrinkle on Dorian's face. The wolf had clamped his paws over his muzzle as if in spite of his own hideous retort, and she could see that tears had started to steadily stream down the old wolf's face. But despite the look painted across his muzzle, the older white wolf remained silent. It only served to twist the knife that much deeper for Audrey as she struggled to comprehend what was going on in Dorian's head. It was clear his own actions were hurting him probably as badly as she was suffering now, yet he refused to admit it. To relent and apologize. Was his pride really so all-consuming that the wolf just couldn't bring himself to overpower it?
"I'll be glad just to never have to see you again." Vernon muttered sharply, and with that her son disappeared behind the far door, slamming it shut tightly in his wake and leaving the law wolf in a perturbed silence.
Audrey wanted to retch. She was so disgusted, so repulsed by her husband's behavior that she actually threw up into the back of her mouth. This monster wasn't Dori, it couldn't be. And yet it wore his pelt, it spoke in his cadence and used his mannerisms. It was as if her husband had been replaced by some sort of crazed zealot, the kind that brought to mind many of her experiences with the more devout native wolves in the area.
Slowly the white wolf seemed to ease in his chair, his ears slowly sagging down against his head as his posture slipped into more of a deep slump. But the disturbing silence remained, it's deafening and disgusting thrum hanging over the stilted air left in the study. Only to be broken by a familiar, yet devastatingly mournful howl that Audrey could hear petering through the office window on the crisp Autumn winds.
Dorian's ears shot up sharply, high and pointed as the weary howl mingled in the stagnant air. The wolf rising to his feet for a moment as he turned to face the window. He stood like that for long after the primary howl had come to a close, only slumping back into his seat as a chorus of multiple, weaker howls filled the vacuum of silence.
But for Audrey the howl was the final straw. Among the torrent of unbearable emotional turmoil beneath her surface, the small flicker of a flame that had been stoking beneath it all had begun to grow. The same fire that she knew she and her son shared, whether through influence, genetics, or purely a sense of morality that seemed to be ingrained in the both of them. She could feel the flames of rages burning through her others emotions as if they were kindling, feeding and growing until it had become an inferno in her mind. Her grip on the rake in her paw tightened as the heat flowing through her veins caused all over her muscles to start clenching. With a burst of energy, she was standing again, rising with the flames inside her body as her muzzle curled into a hateful sneer.
She had never been an 'abusive' mammal, never on to strike any of her loved ones in anger or otherwise. But in that moment, the only images that were flashing in her head were still shots of beating Dorian down with the rusted old rake. Of wailing it over the wolf's head over and over until she managed to knock some harsh form of sense into her brutish husband.
In a flash, Audrey kicked the door to the study so hard it nearly came away from its hinges. The door clacked loudly against the bookshelf to its side, knocking a few books to the floor as the she-wolf stomped into the room. However the white wolf didn't seem to react to the sudden noise, his head remaining tilted toward the desk as she rounded the corner.
As she approached the desk, Audrey raised the rake high in the air, ready to strike in a moments notice. But just as she was about to let the serrated steel fly, she finally caught sight of the wolf's face.
Dorian was still seated slumped at his desk, his shimmering eyes blearily focused on the empty glass in his paw, although not truly looking at it. His stare seemed to be as though he was looking far and away. Through the glass, the desk, and the nothingness beyond. His ears hadn't even perked to the sudden flurry of noise, remaining sagged sharply against his head as he seemed oblivious to the world around him. His features were etched with a mixture of agony and misery, every worry line in his fur exposed and wound up tightly as the wolf let out a soft, mournful sigh.
Audrey had used many descriptive statements to describe her husband throughout life. Stern, loving, stubborn, sweet, foolish. Those were all terms that at one point or another or sometimes simultaneously she had used to describe her husband. But in this moment Dorian looked like nothing she had never seen before. He looked so drawn and weary, as if he had aged twenty years during the course of the weekend. In fact, he kind of reminded her of Father Hunter during his final days in the hospital. There was only one word that came to mind that perfectly encapsulated how Dorian looked in that moment, pitiful.
Wearily the wolf managed to look up at her, her bleary eyes taking a moment to adjust to what he was seeing before a mild look of worry set in. Dorian ran a paw over his eyes, sopping up the tears as quickly as he could while turning away.
"Y'all fixin' to use that?" Dorian mumbled, drawing his finger and thumb to the corners of his eyes before dragging them down his snout.
Audrey glanced up at the rake still hanging aloft in her paws, taking stock of the object for a moment before reluctantly lowering it to her side and taking a seat in the chair Vernon had left in front of the law wolf's desk.
"I might..." Audrey replied. The she-wolf could still feel the anger boiling beneath her pelt, but Dorian's pathetic look had managed to diminish it to some degree. At least enough to place it back into the category of 'last resort'.
Dorian let out a soft, inaudible grumble, idly twiddling the glass in his paw as his dull stare returned to it. The dim light of the study danced along the sides of the tumbler with each jaunt.
"Heard all of it...?" Dorian murmured weakly. "I take it?" The white wolf's steely grey eyes rose to meet his wife's. In turn, Audrey gave a curt nod.
Dorian let out a beleaguered groan before shifting his attention back to the glass. The wolf remained quiet for a short while, allowing silence to once again dominate the study as he seemed to ruminate carefully over his words.
"Sh-Shouldn't have had to see that..." Dorian muttered.
"No." Audrey corrected, leveling a glare at the wolf. "That shouldn't have happened."
The white wolf's ears perked slightly, his expression a mixture of confusion and disbelief as he looked his wife's way. At least, that was the emotion he was trying to convey, but underneath Audrey could see the obvious signs of guilt.
"Shouldn't ha-?" Dorian stopped, lazily shaking his head. "It ain't my fa-!"
Audrey dropped the head of the rake on his desk with a loud clatter, cutting the wolf off midsentence.
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Audrey spat, doing her best to keep her voice from wavering. "As far as I'm concerned this weekend is almost entirely yer fault!"
"My!?" Dorian sputtered. "I-ME!? I mea-!" The wolf's voice cracked as he placed his glass down firmly on the desk. The wolf opened his mouth to speak again, but nothing came, and soon the white wolf simply closed his muzzle. Dorian let out another weary sigh as his head sagged despondently, his eyes once again finding his glass as he reassumed his dead to the world stance she had found him in. He lingered like that for a while, until Audrey was forced to push the conversation forward.
"Dorian." Audrey asked, her voice firm but with a lilt of concern. "Something is wrong."
The wolf lazily lifted his head. "What?"
"Somethin' is wrong with you Dori." Audrey continued. "I can see it." The she-wolf reached out a paw, gingerly placing it on the edge of his desk as she stared into his eyes. "I can see it in yer eyes, I can see it deep down in there."
Dorian let out a slight scoff.
"How long?" Audrey asked.
"How long what?" The slightly buzzed wolf replied.
"How long has whatever it is been eatin' you up without me seein' it?" Audrey asked.
The white wolf let out another sharper scoff, his posture straightening as slipped into his former composure. The wolf wiped his eyes again before slapping a paw against his desk.
"You know how long!" Dorian shook his head. "You heard what I said to the boy! Do I need to repeat it?"
Audrey crossed her paws. "Y'all mean that nonsense about Dawn's past?"
Dorian sneered. "Nonsense!? NONSENSE!?" The wolf chuckled blithely. "The ewe is a criminal! One of the worst criminals Zootopia, naw, Animalia has ever seen! And I'm just supposed to just let her into to this family cause she says she's 'changed'?" The wolf emphasized the word in a mocking tone. "It's Bull!"
"That's bull!" Audrey replied bluntly.
Dorian simply laughed in response.
"Why, because she saved the city once?" The wolf shook his head. "Doesn't exactly negate the first crime does it...?" The wolf drew an arm across the room idly. " And who knows what was goin' through her head that night in -"
"She saved out boy Dorian!" She snapped back. "Who knows what her father would have done to him!"
"She's also the reason our boy ended up there in the first place!" The law wolf was quick to retort.
Audrey simply shook her head. "Yer still lyin' to me."
Dorian choked back a laugh. "Lyin'? LYI-!?"
"Yes lyin'!" Audrey snapped back. " Unless you've been drunk all these years and I never met the sober Dori, because the Dori I know and love don't think that way!"
Dorian scoffed, turning his head away from the she-wolf.
"She's been rehabilitated Dori." Audrey continued. "Paid her debt's to society and is tryin' to make a clean break."
Dorian grumbled, the sound something between acknowledgment of Audrey's words and annoyance. However, he continued to avert the she-wolf's gaze.
"You and I both know how y'all have always said over and over again how important it was to give mammal's in that situation the chance to prove themselves without just writin' em off."
Dorian grumbled again in a way that was nearly identical to the one before.
"Fer the gods sakes, y'all drilled it into the boy's skulls over and over again!" Audrey added. "And yet yer surprised when you see yer boy takin' that to heart?"
"The key word bein' there..." Dorian muttered, his eyes briefly finding Auddey's before shifting back to the window. "Is tryin'."
Audrey scrunched her muzzle up in distaste, tilting her head slightly.
"You tryin' to tell me you don't think that girl is tryin'?" Audrey asked, raising a curious brow. She could already tell the wolf was trying to throw her off again, his renewed stance a defensive posture that was a clear sign he was circling the wagons. But what topped it off was the fact that he crossed his arms tightly as he turned to answer her.
"Well if this weekend is any reflection of her attempt's at tryin'..." Dorian flashed Audrey a scowl.
Audrey rolled her eyes.
"So she screwed up." Audrey replied, extending her arms out and offering the dour old wolf a shrug. "Mammals make mistakes."
Dorian scoffed.
"And Dawn was probably the most remorseful about breakin' those rules next to Vanna!" Audrey continued. "Certainly more upset with herself than you've ever gotten with any of the other boys and gals when they broke that rule!"
"Oh p-"
Audrey stood, placing the rake down as she loomed over the white wolf's desk. "Tell me we haven't ever bungled up things involvin' family!?" Audrey shook her head. "Y'all gonna tell me yer Pa welcomed our relationship with open paws!?"
Dorian's ears dropped, the trace of a guilty expression crossing his muzzle as he struggled to remain defiant under the she-wolf's accusation. Dorian seemed to struggle for a moment, raising slightly in his seat in a lame attempt to stand toe to toe with his mate before ultimately deciding to sit back down. The white wolf opened his muzzle, but Audrey was quick to cut him off.
"How many times did Pa Hunter catch us gettin' frisky huh!?" Audrey snapped. "And if you want to talk about the family reputation you sure as hell remember the time he caught us in the back of the food stall tryin' to multiply like bunnies!"
Audrey could see a deep crimson flushing through Dorian's muzzle as his eyes shifted back to his empty glass. The seemingly uncomfortable wolf once again returning to idly playing with the tumbler as he let out a few awkward coughs. Audrey crossed her arms, flashing the white wolf an accusatory glare. Despite the fact that he wasn't looking directly at her, she could see his posture slacken further under her gaze.
"At least Vern's got a better grip on his howlin' than you did at that age! You couldn't even stand a little foreplay without lettin' everybody know what we were up to!" Audrey scoffed. " And we got the same speech about soilin' the Hunter name over gettin' caught by yer old mam' that I'm sure you gave that little ewe last night over just bein' around Vern and the family!"
Dorian glared up at his wife fiercely, a renewed fire in his eyes as he jumped to his feet to meet her gaze with equal fervor. But behind the sudden intensity, she could see the hint of anxiety setting in by the way his pupils quavered. It was the same way Ulric's pupils danced under the same circumstance. "Why are you even defendin' that little G-!?" Dorian stopped short of completing the slur, most likely out of fear as to how the she-wolf would reply.
"Gimmer?" Audrey completed his statement, making sure her delivery of the phrase was dripping with enough disgust to further shame the wolf for his abnormal behavior. "Is that what you were gonna say?"
Dorian's ears sagged as the wolf slowly slinked back into his seat.
"Because I think you've used that word enough fer a lifetime over this weekend." Audrey shook her head. "Seems like its a fairly recent addition to that vocabulary of yers."
Dorian scoffed as he returned to playing with his glass.
"Dorian." Audrey lowered her voice, her tone taking on a more pleading sound as she eyed the pitiful heap of a wolf. But despite the change in her approach, the wolf seemed to ignore her attempt to draw his gaze. She waited only for a few moments before grabbing the white wolf by the bottom of his muzzle and tilting his head up to face her. But even that effort was somewhat thwarted by the law wolf averting his gaze.
"Dorian!" Audrey shook his head slightly in an effort to force him to look at her. He was clearly trying to resist, but eventually, the continued shaking caused the wolf to buckle. With a tired sigh, Dorian looked up at his wife, and while he tried to retain some sort of determined look in his steely grey eyes, the way they quivered slightly told her that it was hurting the wolf just to meet her gaze.
"In the thirty plus years we've been together y'all ain't never used that kinda language." Audrey said with a frown. "Not even when interrogatin' criminals! Not even when you were fightin' with yer Pa over me!" Audrey continued to gently shake his head in time with the words she felt the need to emphasize. She could see the hint of guilt in the wolf growing as she spoke. From the faintest trace of something he was hiding deeply behind his facade of confidence and carelessness into a visible rising panic that was barely being contained.
"I could never imagine my mate would be capable of sayin' somethin' like that to anyone, no matter how angry he was!" Audrey continued. "So stop lyin' to me and tell me what this is all about!"
"I-I..." Dorian averted his gaze, only for her to shake his muzzle again.
For a moment she thought she finally had the wolf pinned to the wall. That she had finally pierced the massive barrier he had been building around himself for most of the reunion. But suddenly, Dorian pulled his muzzle free of her grip with a jerk, pushing her arm away with a dismissive paw before recoiling into his chair.
"I ain't allowed to call a mammal scum!?" Dorian sputtered. "After what she did to my boy!" Dorian extended an arm toward Audrey, feigning a look of horror and disbelief as he slipped right back into his lame act. "OUR boy!" The wolf emphasized the word as his ears sagged down in clear disappointment.
"Because of that..." Dorian stopped, again taking a moment to change his phrasing clearly due to Audrey's previous objections. "Because of her, we nearly lost Zach!"
Audrey crossed her arms, looking down and away from her mate as she tried to steel herself for what she thought might be coming. Dorian was slipping, and his desperation was growing more and more obvious with every passing moment. With each failed attempt to lie directly to her face, the law wolf's movements became increasingly jittery and jerky. His even tone faltering more and more as the speed and delivery of his rebuttals increased. He was clearly uncomfortable, and was looking for any out he could get the she-wolf to accept. But just how far was Dorian really willing to go to try and worm out from under the investigative pressure she was putting on him? Would her husband be so callous as to try to play on her emotions in an effort to avoid discussing a topic? It would be a new low for him. Then again, her husband seemed to be pulling out all the stops when it came just how low he could sink tonight.
The second the wolf's pleading eyes met hers, that phony entreating expression of sympathy she could practically predict the exact words that were going to come out of his muzzle.
"After what she did, how can you-"
"Don't..." Audrey said with a low growl, her ears flattening against her head as she glared down at her mate. The usually bold white wolf seemed to shirk in his stance, his head cowing slightly into his shoulders. But despite his defeated posture, the wolf maintained eye contact.
"Don't...what?" Dorian asked.
"Don't. You. Rutting. Dare!" Audrey hissed, balling her fists tightly as she loomed over the wolf. Audrey glanced back at her rake, quickly scooping it up in a paw before raising it high over her head.
Dorian flinched, but only for a moment as he desperately tried to keep up his act.
"I'm jus-!"
"You think I can't tell when someone's tryin' to manipulate me!?" Audrey spat, causing the wolf to shift his attention back down to his glass. The shame coming off the older wolf was palpable.
"How could you...?" Audrey whimpered softly as she lowered the rake, letting it drop lamely against her side. "How could you try to use somthin' like that on me?"
Dorian looked up for a moment. Now the guilt was truly shining through on his muzzle.
"Yer wife." Audrey felt tears starting to well up in the corners of her eyes. "Yer mate."
Dorian let out a soft, mournful whine.
"The one you pledged to yer honesty an loyalty to above all others under the harvest moon all them years ago!" Audrey's tone was a mixture of sadness and rising anger, the two emotions battling it out to take command over the situation as she struggled to come to terms with what her mate had tried to do.
"To even imply..." Audrey's throat went dry, the words dying in her throat as the powerfully painful concept burned a hole into her mind. "That I don't care about my son's accident because I'm sidin' with that girl over you...I..."
The she-wolf balled her fists tightly, turning away from the wolf for a moment in order to try to regain her composure. The tears were silently streaming from her eyes now, but she managed to keep an even and calm tone as she spoke.
"I've never been so insulted..." Audrey continued, biting her lip harshly as she fought to suck back the tears. "And so ashamed of you..."
"A-Auddey..." She heard Dorian murmur.
"Did our tithe mean nothin' to you?" The words carried the same disbelief in their tone as the mere thought had made her feel the moment it had popped into her mind. "Were you just spittin' into the wind when you spoke those words to me or did they actually mean somthin'?"
"Auddey." Dorian said more firmly, but Audrey couldn't bring herself to look at the wolf as he spoke. "I didn't mea- I mean I...I..."
Audrey turned on her heels, glaring sharply at the crumpled wolf sitting in the chair behind the table. The wolfess grit her teeth tightly as she stabbed a claw at him.
"You know how terrified I was when I got that call!" Audrey spat, her vitriolic tone causing the law wolf to jerk slightly in his chair. "How terrified we both were!"
Dorian nodded dumbly, his muzzle remaining shut as he guiltily eyed the she-wolf.
"I was a wreck fer weeks!" Audrey ran a shaky paw through her hair, pushing it free of her tear-filled eyes. "I could barely sleep, I could barely eat, I was just so damn terrified that at any moment I was gonna get another call tellin' me...t-tellin' me..." Audrey couldn't even bear to finish the sentence, her darkest fear far too painful to even mention aloud.
The she-wolf began to pace in front of the desk as the suddenly mute white wolf continued to watch.
"There ain't a day that goes by where that buried fear ain't livin' in the back of my mind, worryin' that this day is the one where I'm finally gonna get that call!" Audrey turned to face Dorian as she came to the front of the desk, slamming her paws out on the face of it with a sharp snap as she glared down at her husband. The white wolf seemed to be growing smaller and smaller by the minute as he slunk deeper into his padded green chair, the skin under his muzzle almost matching the chair's hue.
"But I had to learn to live with that risk since yer first day on the job." Audrey said with a whimpering sigh. "And we both had to live with it when most of those boys went down the same road you did."
The she-wolf ran a paw through her hair again, but despite her best efforts a few stray strands kept slipping free and dangling over her face. "I mourn every damn day, every time ANY of y'all go to work. And my heart rejoices every time you make it back in one piece!" Audrey sniffled. "It hurts me to stay quiet whenever one of y'all gets hurt, whenever there's any kind of problem, because I always go back to the day I almost lost my pup..."
"Auddey..." Dorian said weakly.
"Of course I ain't gonna tell y'all not to go!" Audrey spat. "To force you not to do what y'all wanted because I was scared!" Audrey lamely wiped a paw over her eyes to clear the fresh wave of tears that had started to form. " I ain't so selfish I expect everyone around me to bow to my every whim!" Audrey's nostrils flared as she let out a sharp exhale. "I just wanted my boys to be happy! I wanted my family to be happy!"
Audrey let out a quivering sigh as a chill ran up her spine. It all hurt so much, too much for this old wolfess to take. But somehow she had managed to stay standing despite the overwhelming pounding in her chest. The feeling agony that hung heavy in her chest made it almost impossible to breathe, but somehow, she managed to press onward.
"And I thought you wanted that too..." Audrey said softly. "But whatever yer runnin' from...your willin' to throw away everythin' just to avoid it! Even yer family!"
"Th-that's off base." Dorian sputtered, the wolf clinging to whatever remnants of composure he had left as though it were a life raft in a stormy sea. "I-I ain't runnin' from anythin' I-!"
"BULLSHIT!" Audrey snapped! "Dorian Everett Hunter, you are many things, but you ain't a good liar!"
"I ain-!"
"HUNTERS CAN SMELL BULLSHIT!" Audrey cut him down mid-sentence. "Yer the one who taught me that, and yer boys." The she-wolf crossed her arms once more as she appraised the wolf. "And lookin' at the state yer in now it wouldn't even take a Hunter to sniff out the bull yer tryin' to sling."
Dorian grit his teeth, letting out a sharp snarl as he shot to his feet. The wolf slammed a fist against his desk as he met Audrey's gaze.
"DAMNIT AUDDEY, I AIN'T DIS-!"
The she-wolf cut off Dorian by slamming the desk with her own paw in equal measure, her nose practically touching her husbands as she lunged forward.
"Dorian, I swear to the gods..." Audrey whispered, staring back at her mate with a gaze so sharp and cold it almost felt as though blades were firing out of her sockets. "If you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth about what's going on in the next five seconds I am turning around and walking out of this study..."
The she-wolf stabbed a sharp claw toward the door her son had exited through just moments before, but her gaze remained fixed on Dorian.
"And then I am walkin' out of yer life forever." Audrey snapped coldly. Dorian could never know how much that had pained her to say, to even be able to keep up her fierce and confident front in the face of her husband while her insides were screaming in emotional agony at even the concept of leaving the wolf she loved so dearly. But if Dorian was willing to sink to the bottom of the barrel in an effort to throw her off his scent, then she was more than willing to join him there.
Luckily the threat seemed to have the desired effect almost instantaneously. Fear, honest to the gods fear. It was an expression Audrey was certain she had never seen Dorian experience in her life. Yet she could see it in his eyes the moment the idle threat left her muzzle. His ears sagged sharply, the wolf taking a stumbling step back as he stared at Audrey in disbelief.
"A-Auddey." Dorian reached a paw lamely to his chest, but it never reached it, simply hanging in the air somewhere between as he stared dumbly back at the she-wolf.
"O-Our...?But..." Dorian trailed off, seemingly unable to put whatever he had to say into the proper words. The wolf gulped audibly, closing his eyes and staying that way for a few moments before managing to find some semblance of his speaking voice.
"Our tithe..." Dorian muttered weakly.
Audrey could feel the tears flowing out of her eyes, but despite it, she managed to maintain her cold and serious demeanor as her unflinching glare remained fixed on her husband.
"Oh now y'all care about our tithe?" Auddey spat. "Seems like y'all only seem to care about the sanctity of a tithe when it's convenient fer you."
Dorian looked wounded, the wolf's paw finally managing to clutch his chest as he eyed the she-wolf in disbelief.
"B-B-But-."
"Honesty Dorian." Audrey continued to stare through her mate. "Loyalty, honesty, carin' fer each other whether rich or poor, fer the best or worst. That's what it means to be someone mate." Audrey's piercing glare finally broke, the she-wolf letting out a shuddering exhale as she looked down at the wolf's desk, studying the grooves in the polished oak.
"If you won't be honest with me, yer wife." Audrey muttered, running a paw lamely across the smooth surface of the desk. "The how am I supposed to believe that sacred bond means anythin' to you?"
Dorian slowly slumped into his chair, the wolf's head downturned as his eyes seemingly returned to the empty tumbler in front of him. Silence once again filled the dimly lit room, leaving the air stagnant with the foul nature of the previous arguments that had echoed through the fine redwood walls. It felt like an eternity to Audrey, the emotional tumor that hung heavily in her chest feeling as though it was set to burst out of her with every excruciatingly long second that eked by.
She was nearly ready to make good on her threat, just so she didn't have to stand in that room for a second longer and endure the agonizing heartache Dorian's silent treatment was giving her. But finally, a weak voice pierced the deafening noiselessness. A meek, whimpering wisp of a thing that almost reminded her of Dawn's own voice, like the last pleading calls of a defeated pup.
"I'm scared..." Dorian muttered.
Audrey felt the weight in her chest bottom out as she tried to register what the wolf had said to her.
"What?"
The white wolf slowly lifted his head to reveal a steady stream of tears had started to flow from his eyes as he barely managed to meet her gaze. It was a look that made her feel almost powerless, pulling all the heat and rage out of her in the blink of an eye, and in its absence came the overwhelming desire to go to his side and comfort the crestfallen wolf. She was still his mate, and to see him suffering like this felt agonizing. But until he finally came clean with the true nature of what had consumed the better part of his mind, she needed to hold firm to her convictions. Even if she had to forcibly seat herself, clutching the armrests of the chair for dear life in order to do so.
"I...I'm scared Auddey." Dorian whimpered. "I'm so damn terrified. I have been since..." Dorian trailed off, the wolf placing his head in his paw before sweeping it back through his hair. All the while his arm trembling violently. "I can't function...I can't..."
"Dori..." Audrey cooed softly. It was surely a night of firsts alright. And it only continued with Dorian's startling admission. She had finally gotten through, cut through all the lies and evasion and got to the heart of whatever it is that was eating at the wolf.
Dorian had always been a confident mammal, and his demeanor reflected that in spades. He never seemed to show weakness, at least not when it came to displaying feelings of fear or terror. In fact, Audrey aside most mammals tended to assume Dorian was fearless. A towering pillar of strength that both the North Meadowlands Community and the Hunter family could depend on. When it came to the she-wolf, she hadn't seen the white wolf fearful of anything since the death of Papa Hunter, and even that appeared more subdued when compared to his current state. She had seen the wolf at his softest, and his sweetest, but never had she seen him so terrified.
The white wolf looked back up at her with glassy, watering eyes. A pleading stare that seemed to be begging the wolfess for help.
Dorian looked at her paw for a moment before glancing back at the empty glass on his desk. His eyes rose to meet hers once again for a split second, and in it, she saw the glimmer of mammal looking to run. The wolf reached a paw into the darkness at the fringe of his desk, pulling out a very recognizable decanter full of brandy. Dorian was just about to pour when the sudden appearance of a rake over his paw stopped him dead in his tracks.
The white wolf's nervous glance darted up to meet hers.
"I think we've heard more than enough from 'that' Dorian." Audrey said. Her tone was firm, but with a distinct air of concern lacing her words.
Dorian stared at her for a few moments before slowly nodding in agreement and placing the bottle back into the darkened shroud of the corner of his desk as Audrey pulled the rake away. The law wolf followed up with sliding the glass into the dark along with it before cradling his head in his paws.
"Dorian, I'm not going anywhere." Audrey cooed. "Let it all out."
"I hate it..." Dorian whimpered. "I hate this feeling." The white wolf sniffled. "I feel so rutting weak!"
"You ain't weak Darlin'."
"I am!" Dorian snapped his head up, letting out a soft growl. The kind of growl that gave Audrey the impression it was directed inward rather than at her. Dorian's angry expression quickly faltered as he turned her attention back to Audrey. The concerned she-wolf reached her paw out, finally managing to snag one of her mates paws. Audrey gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Why do you think yer weak Dori?" Audrey cooed sweetly.
The white-wolf pawed at his eyes, trying to get the tears to stop, but his efforts were in vain as the wolf struggled to continue.
"Because I failed..." Dorian replied weakly, his voice breaking completely as the words came forth. "I failed this town, I failed my department, my damn family! I failed to keep 'em safe! ANY OF 'EM!"
Audrey quirked a curious eyebrow. Was whatever her husband's problem was still somehow related to Zach? She could tell he was being genuine with her now, but earlier when he had brought up Zach's accident his demeanor made it clear it wasn't the heart of the matter. Maybe it did have something to do with what almost happened to Vernon in Zootopia, but even so, no one could blame the older wolf for not being able to help protect their son when he had no idea what was happening.
"Killers in my own midst!" Dorian whined. "Mammals I saw as friends...I can't believe I..." Dorian took in a sharp breath of air, only to let out a shuddering series of coughing sobs.
"Honey please, please!" Audrey cooed, squeezing his paw tightly. The she-wolf leaned out of her chair in order to wipe the older wolf's eyes free of the hot tears.
"HOW DID I NOT SEE IT!?" Dorian let out another whine.
The wolf's statements were only getting more and more baffling by the minute. It was clear the wolf had been holding this dark secret in for far too long, but regardless she wouldn't be able to help if she couldn't get a clear assessment of what was going on. Audrey brushed away another tear with her thumb before sliding her paw up against her mate's face and drawing his eyes back to her.
"Dori..." Audrey's tone remained sweet and comforting as she stared back into Dorian's steely gray eyes. "Please start from the beginnin'. I can't make sense of what yer sayin'."
Dorian let out another hoarse weep before doing his best to try and regain some of his composure. The white wolf pulled his paw free of Audrey's, leaning back into his chair as he pawed the tears away from his eyes. With a shuddering sigh, the wolf placed his paws on his desk, wrapping his fingers together as he brought his eyes to meet Audrey's again.
"Do you remember officer Merino and McCria?" Dorian asked quietly.
Audrey quirked an eyebrow. The names were certainly familiar. While they weren't around often they regularly showed up to Dorian's monthly card nights along with some of the others at the station and Representative Ruddy. Although she knew for a fact that Dorian had known the sheep and alpaca since he was in middle school, and well enough that they could easily bring out his more jovial side when they spoke to the wolf over the phone. They were some of the few mammals that knew there was more to Dorian than imposing officer that managed to strike fear into the hearts of most of his own recruits without saying so much as a single word.
Audrey nodded softly.
"Of course I do." Audrey replied.
Dorian took a slow deep breath, rubbing his temples with his paws for a few moments before managing to continue.
"I've known Alan and Deb since I was a fairly young pup." Dorian replied. "Hell Alan and me were as tight as Vernon is with that goat boy." The wolf added, gesturing vaguely in the direction of where Vernon departed.
"O' course things kinda fell off over the years." Dorian continued. "Family, kids, life, ya just don't have as much time to maintain those kinda friendships the way ya used too." Dorian placed his head back into his paws, slumping the full weight of his body on them. "But still, I THOUGHT I KNEW them!"
"Dori..." Audrey said quietly, her voice laden with concern. Dorian didn't look up, but the wolf continued, seemingly keen on barreling through it now,
"Back when the first night howler incident happened." Dorian grumbled, wiping a paw through his hair. " I mean...after Bellwether was caught and after Zach got hurt...there was an investigation."
Dorian managed to lift his head slightly, exposing a single bleary and bloodshot eye to Audrey.
"D.C. sent a bunch of Feds out to investigate Zootopia's government and public services from top to bottom." Dorian muttered. " Bellwether's little conspiracy made mammals both inside and outside Zootopia antsy about just how deep the corruption may have run. They were afraid there were still sympathizers and co-conspirators workin' behind the scenes even after she was put away, and the threat it could pose not just to the sovereignty of Zootopia, but the nations outside of it." Dorian brushed the hair out of his eyes before placing his fingers on his temple. "And part of that investigation involved bringing together the district police chiefs fer a meeting, interviewin' 'em and doin' deep background checks on every one of us, as well as the mammal's workin' at our precincts."
Audrey nodded. "I remember that." The she-wolf said. "I remember how much you were goin' on about bein' forced to sit near Chief Latrey from the South Meadowlands District."
Dorian let out a weak, halfhearted chuckle. "That coyote always was a prick..."With a sigh the wolf leaned back in his chair, running a paw through his hair in a clear effort to push it out of his eyes. "Always lookin' down his snout at my officers, callin' 'em 'quaint'..." Dorian trailed off, giving his head a brisk shake as if prevent himself from going on a tangent and returning to the point.
"I shouldered most of the more intense scrutiny, as did most of the other chiefs. But once I was given the clear, and they started investigating my officers, my words when it came to vouchin' fer their character weighed heavily into just how deeply each officer was investigated." Dorian muttered.
"And when it came to Merino and McCria, I vouched fer 'em up and down." Dorian shook his head. "I was willin' to appoint them both to the heads of our undercover night howler division I was so sure of 'em."
Dorian chuckled weakly again, trailing off into another strange, almost bemused sigh. "I believed in 'em that much." Dorian continued. "They were good cops, good friends...I thought..."
"Even when that water buffalo from precinct one looked 'em both over and said to me in private he wasn't too sure about 'em, I rose to their defense." The white wolf grit his teeth as the low thrum of a growl began to emanate from his throat. "I stood toe to toe with that towerin' mass of mammal and said 'These are good cops, and just because we're rural don't mean we don't know how to pull our weight in the North Meadowlands.'"
The wolf placed a paw to his brow, pressing his fingers into the flesh above his eyes softly. " I chalked it up to everyone still bein' on edge about sheep after..." the wolf shook his head. "If I had only known..."
"Dorian." Audrey cut in, placing a paw on the desk as Dorian turned back to face her. "What happened? Please. Tell me what happened."
Dorian let out a long, tired sigh.
"After Mr. Bellwether's attempted attack on Zootopia a few months back...a lot of interestin' facts came to light."
Dorian placed his elbows on the desk, clasping his paws together before leaning his muzzle into his paws.
"Aster's manifesto, details of his plans, all sort of tidbits of information. More stuff comin' out every day as the investigations continued." Dorian muttered. "They dug and dug for every tie the mammal had." The white wolf raised a paw slightly, massaging his forehead for a moment before returning to his stance. "Every mammal who was set to benefit should his plan have gone off without a hitch."
Audrey nodded softly, encouraging the wolf to go on.
"You see, part of old mad mammal Bellwether's plan involved bringing the North and South Meadowlands police forces in to clean up after the night howler bombin'." Dorian muttered. "With the Zootopian Reserved Miltary Base stuck in Sahara Square, in the center of all the madness, Aster surmised we'd be the first line of defense, both to keep night howler infected mammals from spillin' into the Meadowlands, as well as to take back the city."
Dorian leaned back in his chair, the old seat letting out a soft squeak as he reeled back into darkness. Audrey couldn't see the wolf's face very well behind the dark shadow, but she could still hear him.
"Along with the Alpine Ridge police, we would be sent into Tundra Town in an effort to cut through to the base in Sahara Square." Dorian began to rock softly in the chair, the slight squeak only adding to the tension as the wolf continued his story. "We'd re-arm there, and hold the spot until the North Mammalian National Guard arrived with back up. And once they did, we'd take back the whole city over the course of several days."
The wolf ceased his rocking, allowing the uncomfortable silence to return to the room for a moment. The tension had grown thick enough to cut with a knife.
"It was gonna be dangerous." Dorian sighed. "Nothin' between us and our limited supply of tranquilizers versus a whole mess of savage mammals with no quick way to cure 'em." The wolf continued, his tone growing weary and clinical as he continued to prattle off the details. "Of course, Aster had assumed, and rightfully so, that we'd more than likely have to rely on live firearms to get through."
Audrey let out a soft gasp, placing a paw to her lips as the gravity of Dorian's statement registered with her.
"You mean...?" Audrey trailed off, her muzzle unable to produce the words necessary to convey the horrible conclusion she had come to. Despite the dark of the room making it rather hard to see Dorian's expression, she could easily make out the wolf's affirmative nod.
"A hefty cost..." Dorian muttered weakly. "One we'd have to carry fer the rest of our lives..."
Audrey was shocked to say the least. But despite just how bewildered and stunned she was by just learning the full details of the horrible scenario Dawn's monstrous father had been planning for, she found herself more curious about something else."
"Just how did you find out about this?" Audrey asked. "I mean so much detail...I can't imagine that was public knowledge at the time." The she-wolf continued. "Did you find out at work or-?"
"I'm just tellin' you the same thing the investigator from Sahara Square's Police Department told me when he came out to our office." Dorian replied. "Along with several officers from his own precinct with arrest warrants fer Merino and McCria."
Audrey furrowed her brow in confusion.
"W-what?" The she-wolf asked.
Dorian fell silent, the wolf leaning back into the dark shroud outside the range of the weak lamplight. Slowly Dorian leaned back into the light, his tired bloodshot eyes and miserable expression coming back into clear view as he eyed the wolfess wearily. The wolf looked absolutely devastated.
"Aster had been in contact with the both of 'em about three years back..." Dorian said softly. "They were workin' with him."
Audrey's eyes slowly widened as the realization fully dawned on her, the shock coursing through her at a sloths pace before she finally managed to stammer a response.
"W-What?" Audrey let out an uncomfortable chuckle. "You can't be serious!?"
Dorian sighed, closing his eyes as his head drooped softly.
"They knew all about it. Especially the bit out our department bein' deployed to clean up the mess." The wolf shook his head softly. "And what their role was gonna be in it."
"Dori..." Audrey was at a loss for words. The she-wolf had no idea where to even begin with what her husband had just dropped in her lap. It seemed like it was all a dream, yet the sincerity in his voice told her it was all too real.
"Ya see, Aster had plants in all of the departments outside of the big four districts. All of 'em there to make sure the clean-up was a complete failure." Dorian sighed, running a trembling paw over his hair. "To pull back while the other officers were under attack and tell the public outside how they were completely overwhelmed in the savage chaos and barely got away." Dorian began to growl softly. "Some of them goin' so far to ensure that the other innocent officers didn't make it back by taken' it upon themselves to finish the job."
Dorian placed his elbows on the desk, slouching his head into his paws with a terse motion as he let out another shuddering, tearful sigh.
"And that's what Merino and McCrea were plannin' to do to me, Zach and Vanna."
Audrey's heart dropped, a familiar rush of anguish and terror overtaking the wolf as she even considered the notion of what the wolf was saying had it come to pass. The muscles around her heart felt as though they were clamping down like a vice as she struggled to reply, to say anything to her husband. Audrey opened her muzzle to speak, but the words just wouldn't come.
"You see, Alan and Deb used that position I gave them, confiscatin' night howler to stash aside a little bit of the drug to use fer themselves." Dorian muttered. "With Aster supplyin' basic instructions on how to synthesize it from that Doug fella, they had started making their own night howler pellets and stockpilin' them."
The wolf ran a paw through his hair, dabbing the sweat off his brow as he did.
"They were waitin' for the day we were gonna be deployed to clean up Aster's mess." The wolf growled. "Bidin' their time watchin' the back of the group until we ran out of our limited stock of tranq weapons. Once that happened, they were going to pellet as many of us as they could, startin' with me, Zach, and Vanna, and continuing with as many other officers they could safely strike during the confusion before high-tailin' out of there." Dorian let out a sharp exhale of air, breathing in with a stuttering whimper.
"With nothin' to put us down safely, we'd either be kilt by the remainin' officers or tear each other apart." Dorian hissed. "And in the off chance our bodies were even recovered, there'd be little to no way to prove that foul play had been involved." Dorian leveled his bloodshot gaze on his mate, his lids squinting tightly around his steely grey eyes. "They'd just think another bomb went off, or that whatever night howler weapon had been used had made the effects of the drug transmissible."
"B-but why?" Audrey whimpered, still struggling to overcome the surreal shock of the wolf's account.
Dorian squeezed his brow between his thumb and forefinger.
"So after everythin' was all over, they could slip themselves into the previously occupied roles of Sheriff and Deputy with no muss 'er fuss." Dorian replied. "They'd be the next most capable officers in-line anyway. And bein' the highest rankin' survivors in the attempts to save savage Zootopia, why, the county would see 'em as heroes."
"Oh...Oh Dori..." Audrey whimpered, reaching out a shaky paw toward her husband.
"All of that..." Dorian muttered. "All of that schemin' and plannin' because they wanted my job..." The wolf sank his head back into his paws, letting out another shuddering sigh. "They were willin' to kill us over it..."
"Dori..."
The white wolf's head quickly snapped back up, and he slammed his paw against the desk so sharply that it caused Audrey to jump in her seat. A fresh stream of tears was pouring down his fur, but his muzzle was twisted up in malice and hate.
"AND I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT!" The wolf spat, growling through his teeth. "I TRUSTED THOSE MAMMALS WITH MY LIFE AND THEY PLAYED ME LIKE A DAMN FOOL!"
The wolf ran a trembling paw through his scalp, harshly dragging his hair away from his face that clung to the increasingly sweaty and tear-soaked fur. "HUNTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO SMELL BULLSHIT!" Dorian continued, slamming his paw against the desk once more. "It's that keen intuition that helps us separate friend and foe! To protect our community, our FAMILIES!"
Dorian allowed his head to fall to his desk, knocking his forehead against the oaken wood with a dull thud.
"And those two were lyin' right under my nose..." Dorian whimpered. "Mammals I thought were my friends...only waitin' there to stab me in the back..." The wolf glanced up at his wife with watering eyes, but his head remained fixed against the desk surface.
"And worst of all, they were gonna hurt our boy...and Vanna....and who knows who else." Dorian whimpered. "They were a threat to my family, and I was blind to it." Dorian wiped his eyes, taking a sharp snort in an effort to suck back the tears steadily streaming from his eyes. "T-that's on me. That's my fault." Dorian said coldly.
The wolf let out a strange, almost strangled sounding sigh. It almost sounded as if the wolf was momentarily amused with himself despite the choking sobs that broke up the sound.
"I remember the morning after Aster's plan failed..."Dorian muttered. " Back when as far as the world knew, he was the sole mastermind behind the whole operation. I was the one to break the news to them." Dorian chuckled darkly. "They looked so surprised, so scared of what almost happened." The wolf rolled his eyes. " Only in hindsight did I figure out that was nothin' but fear for their own hides." Dorian shook his head. "They could feel the noose tightenin' around their throats, and if I hadn't been so damn blind I would have realized it was the same guilty expression that I get from criminals every damn day."
"Dori..." Audrey cooed, placing a gentle paw on the white wolfs hair and gently brushing his ear in an attempt to calm him down. "Why didn't you say anything?" The she-wolf asked. " You should have come to me, you should have told me."
Dorian shuddered, wiping lamely at his tears again.
"I wasn't allowed to at first." Dorian whimpered. "The investigation into the conspiracy was still ongoing, and in order to root out more of Aster's plants and supporters I had to keep the arrests as quiet as possible." The white wolf let out a tired sigh. "Hell I still ain't supposed to tell, but, I just..."
"Shh, shh..." Audrey tutted, continuing to stroke the troubled wolf's head gently.
"It gutted me Auddey..." Dorian whimpered. "Ripped my insides up somethin' fierce." The wolf placed a paw over his eyes, letting out another choking sob. "After what happened I wasn't certain about anythin' anymore."
"What do you mean Dori?" Audrey asked.
"I kept second guessin' myself, couldn't read mammals at all." Dorian whined. "After the first few days I differed all interrogation duties to the other officers because I didn't trust my own judgement!" The wolf whimpered. "And I just...I couldn't trust anyone."
Dorian leaned his head up on a paw, causing Audrey to draw back slightly as the wolf adjusted himself.
"I even started keepin' Ruddy at arm's length because I wasn't sure I could trust him! And I've known him since kindergarten!" Dorian shook his head. "I mean the investigator told me they had already looked into him, and he was clean, but still, it was about my judgment. My-my..."
"You were afraid?" Audrey asked softly, caressing the wolf's cheek with a paw. Dorian leaned into it, placing his paw on hers as he tried to take comfort in the gesture.
The wolf nodded softly.
"Petrified." The wolf scoffed. "But the people of the North Meadowlands look up to me. My officers look up to me..." Dorian muttered. "My family used to look up to me...till I messed it all up."
"Oh Dori..."
"I'm supposed to be a pillar of the community, a mammal others can rely on. Especially my family." Dorian whimpered. "But I didn't know who I could rely on..."
The wolf rolled his eyes.
"And everyone just keeps coming to me, asking my advice and to make judgment calls." the wolf pulled free of Audrey's caress, slamming his paw against the desk weakly. "AND I JUST CAN'T!" The wolf hissed. "I CAN'T RISK MAKING THAT MISTAKE AGAIN!"
"Dorian." Audrey tried to interject, but the white wolf clearly wasn't done. His steely gaze returning to one of resolve despite the tears still clouding his eyes.
"If someone gets hurt..." Dorian continued. "If my family gets hurt because I make another mistake I'll never forgive myself."
"Is that why y'all are so against Dawn coming into the family?" Audrey asked, despite already feeling confident in the answer.
Dorian turned his head to the side, averting his gaze from the she-wolf.
"H-How can I trust that ewe?" Dorian shook his head softly. "With her father doin' what he did, and what she did before him..." Dorian's ears sagged softly as his sorrowful stare managed to find his mates once again. "What if she hurts our family? What if she hurts..." The wolf trailed off, seemingly unable to finish his sentence.
Audrey reached out a paw, gesturing for Dorian to extend his own. The wolf reluctantly reached out, slowly grasping her paw once again and interlocking his fingers. As Audrey gently rubbed her thumb against the top of his paw, the wolf averted his gaze, a look of guilt crawling across his muzzle as his sight fell to the open window.
"Part of my gut is tellin' me she's genuine..." Dorian murmured. "That she's been rehabilitated and she deserves the chance fer a clean break..." The wolf let out a soft whine, running a paw through his sweaty mop of hair.
"But I'm so scared of takin' that risk and bein' wrong." The wolf whimpered. "I just keep seein' her wrap sheet in my mind and thinkin' 'what if she goes right back into it? What if she goes right back to crime?'"
"Dorian..." Audrey said softly, with a lilt of concern. "That doesn't really make any sense." The she-wolf shook her head. "That gal risked her own life and essentially killed her own father to save the city, to save out boy..."
"I know...but...if I make the wrong call I'll...I'll..." Dorian whined. The white wolf's head dipped down, his eyes darting away from Audrey's own in a clear attempt to retreat back inside of himself. "I'll never fergive myself Auddey."
"Dori my love..." Audrey cooed as she reached out her other paw to Dorian's chin. Gingerly the she-wolf drew his muzzle back toward her. Looking deeply in his eyes, she could see a fresh film of moisture shimmering on the surface as the wolf seemed to once again be fighting back tears.
"It ain't yer call to make."
Dorian furrowed his brow in clear confusion, only for Audrey to slightly roll her eyes in response.
"Vernon is an adult Dori." Audrey continued. "And when it comes to his life, whether it's got to do with who is a part of it or what he chooses to do with it, well..." The she-wolf frowned softly. "It's his call to make, not yours."
Audrey could see that glimmer of fear return to her husband's eyes for just a brief moment.
"But-."
Audrey quickly placed a finger to her husband's lips, silencing any further protest before the she-wolf could get to her point.
"Our job is to be there to offer our advice and opinions..." Audrey continued. "To be there if he needs us, and most importantly, to trust his judgment."
Dorian simply blinked at his wife in silence as she drew her paw back from him, and slowly the white wolf leaned back into his chair. Dorian's eyes taking on that familiar far and away look that told her Dorian was mulling over her words in his mind.
"I know yer sufferin' right now Dori." Audrey cooed. "Yer all torn up inside about yer intuition and about trustin' new mammals. About trustin' Dawn."
Dorian winced slightly as the ewe's name left her muzzle, that familiar flash of discomfort and fear behind his gaze finding Audrey's own for a second before shifting off and away once again.
"But you need to trust yer family." The she-wolf returned to gingerly rubbing the side of the wolf's clasped paw with her thumb reassuringly. "You need to trust me." Audrey continued, offering the white wolf a concerned smile.
"And you need to trust yer boy."
Dorian glanced back up at the she-wolf, his eyes widening slightly in surprise.
"Vernon ain't in doubt about his intuition." Audrey said. "And neither am I." The she-wolf's grin widened, revealing her fangs. "And I can tell those two love each other as much as I love you."
A fresh sheen of moisture seemed to gloss over the wolf's steely gaze as he looked back at her, letting out a soft whine.
"Y-you mean you ain't-?"
Audrey chuckled, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Leavin'? Pfft..." The wolfess rolled her eyes. "You really think I could ever leave you?"
Dorian's muzzle shifted down toward his desk, the wolf letting out another soft whimper as he continued to avoid Audrey's gaze.
"Well I mea..." The wolf mumbled. "Y'all said..."
"Dorian Everett Hunter!" Audrey said, her tone a mixture of shock and amusement. "You think I'm just gonna up and walk away from my mate!?" The she-wolf slapped a paw against her knee. "The wolf who gave me the best thirty-some-odd years of mah life!? Who gave me seven beautiful pups who have grown into fine young wolves?" Audrey shook her head in sharp disagreement. "That I would really ever leave the love of mah life!?"
"Auddey..." The wolf's tears were steadily flowing now, and Dorian was lamely pawing at his eyes in order to try to stop them. "I..."
Audrey rose from her seat, making her way carefully around the large oaken table before beckoning the white wolf into her waiting arms. Dorian didn't hesitate for a second, the wolf practically jumping out of his seat and clasping his arms around the wolfess as if he were holding on for dear life. Dorian let out a quiet sob as he buried his muzzle into the she-wolf's shoulder.
"I love you Dorian Hunter." Audrey cooed. "And I always will."
With that, Audrey placed a paw under her mate's chin, lifting his muzzle and bringing his gaze to meet her own before bringing her lips softly against his. It was a deep powerful kiss, the emotional baggage that had been welling in her mate clearly fueling the force and neediness of his mate's comfort. Not that Audrey minded in the slightest. Despite being together for over three decades, the wolfess never seemed to tire of her husband's touch. Every kiss still retained that fire she had first tasted when they were love-struck teens.
Audrey wanted to lose herself in the kiss, to give in now that her mate shared his burden with her and cleared the air. But she had to make sure the wolf was truly ready to let go of the reigns when it came to his sons, to be willing to defer to their judgment in the face of his own uncertainty. And that was going to start with mending the fences with Vernon and keeping him from leaving the pack.
Slowly Audrey broke the kiss, trailing away from her reluctant mate as he slowly opened his eyes.
"And those two love each other just as much..." Audrey said with a sigh. " You need to do right by them."
Dorian frowned, his head sagging as his eyes took to staring at the floor. The wolf fell silent, and the soundless ambiance grew more and more deafening as Audrey awaited her mate's response. The seconds that passed felt like an eternity as the she-wolf grew increasingly uncertain that she had managed to finally get through to her husband. In fact, she had begun to prepare for whatever last, grasping rebuttal Dorian was surely preparing when the wolf finally spoke again.
"By Oldwyn's beard..." Dorian mumbled, releasing his grip on the she-wolf before slowly slumping back into his chair. Dorian placed a paw to his muzzle, gently squeezing it between his thumb and forefinger before drawing it out to his nose and letting out a tired sigh.
"I really hackled everythin' up, didn't I?" The wolf asked, turning his head back to his mate and raising a brow. Audrey chuckled, shaking her head dismissively.
"At least y'all figured that out now, instead of after Vernon was gone." Audrey replied.
Dorian leaned an elbow on his desk before leaning his face into his paw.
"Vernon....teeth to tails!" Dorian spat. "I was gonna let my boy just..." The wolf shook his head.
"I...I can't believe I was so...so...so damn..." Dorian stuttered.
"Stubborn?" Audrey completed the sentence for the wolf, only for the wolf to let out a terse sigh.
"Ugh..." Dorian groaned.
"And pigheaded." Audrey continued with a smirk. "And foolish, and ignorant, and-"
"Alright, alright, I get it!" Dorian rolled his eyes, only to draw another chuckle from the she-wolf.
"It's just..." Dorian ran a paw over his scalp with a shaking paw. "How do I even begin to make this right Auddey?"
The she-wolf crossed her arms, throwing the wolf a knowing glance.
"I think an apology would be a good start." Audrey said, shifting her hips slightly as she spoke.
The white wolf nodded slowly.
"Yeah...I guess..." Dorian muttered, leaning his head back into his paws and staring down at his desk. It was clear the law wolf was back inside his own head, mulling over what Audrey hoped, was a multitude of ways to make things up to the couple for his abhorrent behavior.
"Great." Audrey replied, making her way back around the desk. "I'll just go find 'em and bring 'em back in."
Dorian nodded, but remained silent as he continued to stare through his desk.
Audrey was nearly at the same door Vernon had left through earlier when Dorian suddenly called out.
"Wait!" Dorian barked.
Audrey turned to glance back at her mate, the she-wolf throwing him a discerning glare.
"What is it?" Audrey asked. "Y'all ain't havin' second thoughts now are ya?"
Dorian waved his paws defensively.
"No! Of course not!" The wolf replied. "I just had a better idea is all!"
With that, Dorian pulled his laptop open and began to furiously type away at the keyboard. Audrey watched him for a few moments, cocking her head in confusion before the wolf suddenly raised a paw and gestured the she-wolf toward the wall next to the door.
"Auddey, can y'all pull out a few more bottles of my good brandy from the liquor cabinet?"
Audrey let out an irritated sigh, crossing her arms as she glared in the direction of her mate. However, the law wolf seemed too distracted to notice.
"Oh Dori, we been through this already." Audrey scoffed. "Don't y'all thi-"
"It ain't fer drownin' sorrows." Dorian protested as he reached toward one of the dark corners of his desk. From the shadows, the wolf dragged his desk phone closer to him before taking the device off the hook and starting to dial. "It's fer celebratin'!"
Audrey raised a curious eyebrow at the white wolf's confusing statement, and was about to ask him exactly what he was preparing to celebrate only for the wolf to hold out a paw as he placed the phone to his ear.
"Hello Clover...this is Dorian."
#Zootopia#Assistant Mayor Bellwether#fanfiction#zoosona#dawn bellwether#wastedtimeee#furry#askdawnandvern
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Kings and Queens. {Ch 6}
Summary: A Throne of Glass AU inspired by the Breakfast Club (1985). Six students come together for Saturday detention, and realize they are not all that different. You can read previous chapters here.
Dorian.
10:30 a.m.
It felt wrong. Everything about it felt completely, utterly wrong. I hated the disgusting, grimy feeling crawling over my skin. I hated the voice in the back of my head that was telling me I was I was going to get expelled, or worse – my dad was going to find out.
“You okay, kid?” Aedion asked, once again with the kid talk. “You’re turning green.”
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to sound confident and failing.
Like always.
Aelin kept giving me the side eye, and it was making me anxious. I was used to being invisible. No one noticed me….especially not Aelin’s crew. Or Aedion’s. Or Rowan’s, for that matter. Being with them, in such a small group, felt like a dream I gave up on a long, long time ago.
I had never played sports. I had never been rebellious in any sort of way. Hell, I had never even had a girlfriend.
Although, I did have my heart set on someone.
But, she would never set eyes on me. To her, I was nothing more than the kid that was excellent at math and science.
To most of the school, I was nothing more than that kid.
Nothing more than a kid. A ridiculous, stupid, lame ass kid.
“May I, uh,” I froze, abruptly, to take a moment and wonder where this sudden courage had come from. “May I ask why you keep looking at me?”
Aelin chuckled, and shrugged. “You’re actually pretty handsome.”
“You…..sound surprised by that.”
I swore I saw Rowan scowl as Aelin let out a breathy laugh. “’I’m not. You should have a little more courage, though. You’re very timid.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“See?” She sounded satisfied. “You not only made it through a sentence without stuttering, or losing your voice, but you almost, almost, sounded sassy.”
Aedion grinned as my lips snapped shut. I wanted to be anywhere else but in the spotlight of that conversation.
“You think he’s cute, don’t you, Lysandra?” Aelin asked, gesturing to the girl in front of her.
Lysandra scoffed. “Did the Princess of Havilliard High just ask me a question about a boy? Are we friends now, your Highness?”
Aelin’s humor disappeared, and her turquoise eyes fell into the calm before the storm. “No need to act like a bitch.”
“Is she a bitch if it’s true?” Rowan asked from the front of the pack.
No one else said a word as we trudged through the snow, cautiously, but hastily, making our way around the side of the school to the gym entrance. Aedion removed his letterman jacket and passed it to Aelin, which made Rowan tense.
It couldn’t be. The prom queen and the criminal? Maybe he had a little crush, most guys at that school did, but perhaps it was more. The two had tension between them all morning, after all.
Or, maybe the cold was just getting to me. There was no way. The thought was ridiculous.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t. What did I know of love?
The gym door pushed open, easily, and everyone hurried inside.
No sign of Headmistress Maeve. I had hoped it stayed that way. If she found us…..
Oh, gods, what am I doing?!
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Aedion asked, again. If he asked me one more time, I wasn’t going to lose my shit.
Maybe. Probably not. He could take me with his pinky finger alone.
I nodded, but he knew I was lying. So did I. Everyone did.
“Don’t worry so much,” Aelin whispered as we continued our walk, now through the warm hallways. “How long do the meetings typically last?”
“I’d say we have a good hour,” I responded, after a moment of heavy thinking. “I’ve done work here before on Saturdays. They typically last between an hour and an hour and a half or so.”
Aelin watched me curiously, but didn’t say anymore.
“Let’s all do what we need to do, then, and meet up at the library window in an hour,” Aedion clapped, as if we were in a football huddle, ready to break. “Sound good?”
“Sounds good to me,” Aelin agreed, then at the same time as Rowan, she said, “I’m going to the snack machines in the west wing.”
Another uncomfortable silence consumed our group, but neither of them spoke another word. Rowan gestured for her to go first, then in typical Aelin fashion, she flipped her long, golden hair over her shoulder and strutted down the hallway, her hips swaying back and forth. Rowan lingered for a moment before following her down the halls of Havilliard High.
Yeah, not going to be joining them.
“Where are you headed, Lysandra?” Aedion asked, taking a step toward the girl.
Lysandra took a step back, fighting the urge to roll her eyes as she did so. “Anywhere you’re not.”
“You don’t enjoy my company?” he smirked, as we began to walk as a trio down the opposite way of Rowan and Aelin.
“No,” she replied, curtly. “Believe it or not, not everyone likes you.”
He pretended to act surprised, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. “Harsh. You haven’t even given me a chance, lovely Lysandra.”
“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “Don’t act like you’re entitled to flirt with me.”
Damn.
She was harsh.
“Okay, okay,” he held up his hands in surrender. “As you wish.”
I was grateful for the silence when it came. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Their bickering began again, and I decided to drift off on my own.
“An hour?” Aedion asked, once he caught me parting from the group. “Don’t be late.”
“D - Don’t worry,” I stammered. “I won’t be.”
I took a turn as they went straight, and headed directly to my locker.
521.
There were over a thousand students in that damned hell.
One thousand teenagers, none of whom gave a shit about my life, or my accomplishments. I didn’t either, if I was being honest. And yet, I constantly worked my ass off to graduate as a straight A student. I tried my hardest to make sure I graduated with honors, and I was well on my way to being Valedictorian.
Why?
Because a man I loathed punished me every time I fell short of those expectations. Every B I came home with was a slap to the face, literally. I could still feel the sting on my cheek from the night before as I stared at the number. My number.
521.
A thousand students, and I was just one person, lost in the middle on a boat that I was riding in, miserably alone. I had friends, sure. Chaol was a good friend, and I know he would do anything for me, and I for him. But, he was the one thing that got me through the day.
Well, that and day dreaming about her.
The terror and beauty of Manon Blackbeak.
It was a dream, of course. I would never gain the courage to approach her. I gave up on it long before.
It would be better after graduation, when I got out of his home, when I got out from under his roof. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. My father was a noble man, one who was respected in the community. And I…..I was nothing more than an embarrassment to him, to his image, every time I couldn’t live up to his expectations.
And I couldn’t often. The stress, the pressure, it was too much.
I rested my forehead against the cool metal of my locker and counted the seconds. Silence. Beautiful, sweet, serene silence.
I was rebelling for the first time in my entire life, and it felt good. I wasn’t studying. I wasn’t reading, although I did typically enjoy that.
I wasn’t doing what he wanted me to do. I was doing the opposite.
And, by the gods, I felt free.
For the first time, I, Dorian Havilliard, felt free.
@bigbangt1963 @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty @sarah-akhavan@gcarroll@kortanna@nightquart @notjustanyoldfangirl @superhuman-imagines@iwouldtrusthagridwithmylife@callmeladytypewriter@saybell1994@2-bookmaster-2 @eye-of-elena @shadowsinger-fireheart
#tog#kings and queens tog#chapter 6#dorian#manon#manorian#chaol#rowaelin#rowan#aelin#lysaedion#lysandra#aedion#fanfic#fanfiction#update
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