Saclay, le C.E.N., le tableau de controle de l’accelerateur “Saturne”.

Childhood emotional neglect (CEN) can be hard to identify and understand, which is why today I am breaking down the symptoms we may experience in adulthood. We often focus on the signs it's happening to us, but many of us don't recognize what's going on until we are much older. These are just some of the signs, and obviously everyone's experience is unique, but just know that with help we ca over come these struggles. It can and will get better :) You are worth it. xox

NO FUCKING WAY

Idk why I keep posting about CEN (childhood emotional neglect) stuff - maybe it’s because so many things are new realizations to me and if I saw people talk about it - it would have helped me realize/accept it sooner? Also it’s like, an extremely common experience so if it is talked about more, hopefully it cuts down on the amount of loneliness and isolation that comes with it. Also for the record, I am fine, I’m not miserable, just observing reflecting on these things frequently. It feels pretty neutral actually.

Anyway, emotional needs that get brought up a lot are unconditional acceptance and sense of belonging and I’ve been thinking about how like, growing up in the 90s and 2000s (and prior), if you were lgbtq+, most likely you weren’t getting that at all. My family wasn’t actively hateful to gay people, and now they are allies but at the time it was like… nobody talked about it. The vibe was very “gay people can exist but also my kids being gay would be bad / stressful.” (Or bisexual or trans or whatever but people didn’t mention that.) Or that it was straight up bad. Or their response would be a wildcard. And I remember feeling that deeply. It felt like every “love you,” every scrap of support or pride my family had in me came with a little asterisk about how if they really knew me, it could all be retracted. And it’s just crazy that so many of us who grew up in pretty standard (or non extreme, I guess?) families were still carrying the weight of our most fundamental emotional/social/psychological needs not being met.

aromantic representation baby!!!

A good article on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

What Emotional Invalidation May Have Looked Like as a Child

Your parents pretend to listen to you or lack active listening skills. When you feel unheard, you may form a belief about yourself that what you have to say is unimportant.

Your challenges or weaknesses go unacknowledged. You may have had a learning disability or have struggled in a certain area of your life that warranted attention and care. Without support, you may end up with an inaccurate idea of your strengths and weaknesses which leaves you feeling confused about yourself or even flawed.

Your parents seem more like friends than parents. With a lack of consequences and structure, you may struggle with self-discipline and the ability to hold yourself accountable.

Your feelings are ignored. When parents ignore your feelings, you learn to ignore and suppress your feelings as well. You may build an internal “wall” to protect yourself from your feelings, which you learned were scary, unnecessary, or wrong.

Your basic needs to be seen, heard, and validated are unmet. Without emotional validation from parents, you may view yourself as unworthy, feel less-than in relation to others, and be quick to invalidate yourself.

Major events at home or within your family are not talked about. Whether it is a divorce, illness, death, or conflict, these significant experiences are not discussed. You may feel alone and isolated without an opportunity to learn appropriate emotional expression.

Your emotional expressions are shut down. When you do express yourself emotionally, you may be gaslighted into thinking your emotions are bad or wrong. Gaslighting teaches you to question yourself and how you feel. You may ultimately deal with anger, especially toward yourself.

You parent your siblings or parents. When your family situation forces you into a parenting role, you learn to be overly responsible and become a caregiver. This makes it too easy to minimize your needs and put others before yourself.

You learn it is not okay to have needs. Feelings are your guide to tell you what you need. When you lack emotional awareness, you have trouble identifying and fulfilling your needs. You may rarely ask for help from others or may be unaware when you are in need of support.

You are told you shouldn’t feel your feelings. When you are told by your parents to not feel something, you learn that you should be in control of something that is unavoidable (having feelings). Your attempt to control and suppress your feelings creates disconnection in yourself and undermines your ability to trust yourself.

Feliz cumple Cenny!!

Me demore un montón QWQ pero espero que hayas pasado un hermoso cumple junto a las personitas que te aman uwu disfruta de un año más de vida!! \>W</

@jglyanoro

The unspoken rules of a codependent system can vary depending on the specific family or relationship dynamic, but here are some common examples:

Put others’ needs before your own: In a codependent system, the needs and wants of others are prioritized above one’s own needs and wants.

Keep the peace: Conflict is avoided at all costs, and it’s up to the codependent person to make sure everyone is happy and there are no disagreements.

Don’t rock the boat: Related to keeping the peace, codependent individuals are discouraged from speaking up or asserting themselves, as it could lead to conflict or upset.

Be responsible for others’ emotions: In a codependent system, the codependent person is expected to take care of others’ emotional needs and make sure they’re happy and content.

Don’t share family secrets: Family secrets or issues are kept hidden and not discussed outside of the family or relationship dynamic.

Don’t challenge authority: The authority figure in the family or relationship dynamic is not to be questioned or challenged, as this could lead to conflict or upset.

Keep up appearances: The codependent person is expected to maintain a certain image or facade for the outside world, even if it doesn’t reflect the reality of what’s happening in the family or relationship.

Don’t ask for help: Asking for help or support is seen as a weakness or failure, and the codependent person is expected to be self-sufficient and able to handle everything on their own.

These unspoken rules can lead to a lot of pressure and stress for the codependent person, as they are constantly putting others’ needs before their own and not allowed to express their own wants or needs. It can also lead to a lack of healthy communication and boundaries, as everyone is expected to maintain the status quo and not rock the boat.

Shoutout to all psych nurses and psychiatrists: I hope you have a really awful and horrible day!

The Lingering Effects Of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

A lack of awareness of your own feelings, wishes, and needs.

A feeling that you are less important than everyone else.

A massive struggle to talk about and share your own feelings.

Difficulty asking for help and accepting help from others.

A lack of understanding of how feelings work in yourself and others.

Oh.

That... explains a lot.

Recently, during a conversation with a close friend, he said "You're allowed to have needs, you know," and my automatic response was "Am I though?"

I've been struggling a lot lately trying to pinpoint why I've been struggling lately, trying to figure out what emotions or unfulfilled need is being hit by seeing some very deep, open, authentic, and caring relationships structures happening around me.

There's a lot more I need to say and process around this, but I think this is the core of the issue, CEN, burying emotions and needs, and feeling like I need to always put myself aside for everyone else.

I AM allowed to have needs. I AM allowed to ask for things, to WANT things. I'm allowed to have emotions and that's not wrong of me.

More later, for now, snowboarding.

Growing up feeling ignored caused me to believe I wasn’t worth listening to and my voice didn’t matter. 💭

pokemon RPG

In this video, I'm talking you through the 7 subtle signs of childhood emotional neglect. Some of these subtle signs may mean you currently are or may have suffered from CEN (childhood emotional neglect) or what some simply call childhood neglect. In this video, and in some other videos I'll link below, I will be speaking to recovery and healing from emotional neglect or childhood neglect from your parents. Not all childhood emotional neglect looks identical for everybody, and your symptoms or effects may look different than a friend or sibling. This type of neglect can sometimes lead to childhood ptsd, and can effect you in your adulthood, or other symptoms. So if you are one who may suffer from neglect in your childhood from your parents or maybe a teacher or a guardian or someone else, I suggest you watch this video so you can better understand both your problem and recovery and healing journey. 

Here are the 9 Signs of Childhood Emotional Neglect: https://youtu.be/q7Nlxwgy79U 

Want more recovery tips on childhood emotional neglect? Here's a video I made about how to overcome it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtDIF... 

5 Must Know Signs of Emotional Abuse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5fw-...

"Guilt is meant to stop us from unnecessarily harming of violating others. It is not meant to stop us from protecting ourselves."

- Jonice Webb, PhD

It's the boys! - Height Chart

I'm having a really good day