‘Till Death Do Us Part
Carlos Sainz Jr x Teammate!Fem!Reader
Warnings: alcohol and the consumption of, the wags are reader’s besties and they all make an appearance, the whole grid is here - I had too - no I mean it, everyone and their mum is there, a very prolonged ceremony because I'm a sucker for this stuff, so much fluff it’s giving me cavities, Charles and George give the best speeches, the tiniest implications of almost smut.
Word Count: 9k
Author’s Note: this one goes out to the ben hate club but especially to miss cece, the mother hen of us and our craziness. happy birthday babe!! <33 @timetoracewrites and also Carlos cause they’re birthday twins <3 // also forgive the poorly translated Spanish in this, I tried okay
Part One: In This Lifetime Or Another // Part Two: Yours In Every Lifetime
---
The tears have dried and started falling again, your cheeks itchy from how wet they were. There’s a knock on the door and you can’t even bring yourself to get up and open it.
“Y/n, you decent?” The man calls out, opening the door slowly. Rupert sticks his head into the doorway only to see you on the floor. He rushes in, letting the door slam shut behind him. Rupert’s eyes study you, you’re sitting with your back to the wall, your dress hanging off the curtain rod and the curling iron still plugged in on the vanity. He unplugs the curling iron first off before crouching down in front of you.
“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He grabs your hand, pulling you up from the floor. Rupert walks you over to sit on the bed, handing you a tissue to wipe your eyes.
You let out a shaky breath, wiping your face dry. “It’s just a lot. I didn’t realize how alone I was until now and it sorta piled up on me.” You tell him quietly. “Blanca and Ana were here earlier but they had to go get dressed so I'm on my own, it hit me, that’s all.”
“Do you want me to go get-” “No!” You cut Rupert off, you knew where he was going with that and you didn’t want that right now.
There was nothing traditional about this but something had to be the same so you can have some sense of normalcy.
You had lost your parents during your first and second season of F1. Your mum had passed first, your father the following year; that’s how it usually goes, when one passes, the other is not far off. She didn’t get to see you win your championship, your father barely holding on to see you win the first one with McLaren. You moved to Mercedes and won your second one the following year. Your parents were high school sweethearts, they spent so much of their lives together, it was impossible for him to live without her. You were an only child that came from two only children.
How truly tragic that they left you to deal on your own. Incredibly selfish too, did they not think that you would need support ?
“Wait here. I’ll figure something out, okay?” Rupert gives you a small smile, leaving you in the room before disappearing out the door.
It had to be at least 30 minutes before he returned. In the meantime, you had washed your face and made yourself a drink in hopes of calming your nerves.
There’s a gentle knock on the door, the ginger sticking his head in the doorway. “Can I come in?” He asks and you nod, sitting on the edge of the bed.
In came Rupert with a trail of women behind him; Hanna, Sebastian’s wife, Charlotte, Charles’ girlfriend, Carman, George’s girlfriend and the two Williams drivers’ girlfriends, Lily and Sandy.
“What’re you all doing here?” You ask them, looking between them and Rupert.
“We’re here to help you obviously,” Lily smiles, walking over to pull you into a hug. The rest of the girls follow, pulling you into a big group hug. “You guys don't have to do that,” you tell them.
“Nonsense, of course we do.” Camren smiles, kissing your cheek.
There’s no question that F1 is a boys’ club and you being the only woman on the grid, you found yourself gravitating towards the boys’ wives and girlfriends for some friendship.
Carlos’s sisters had been with you earlier but they needed to head home and get ready themselves so you were left alone, until now. Once the girls let go of you, you catch Rupert before he steps out the door. You pull him into a hug, squeezing him tightly.
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me, I’ll see you there.” He gives your arm a squeeze before stepping out.
You make your way back over to the girls, sitting in the chair by the vanity. Lily hugs you from behind, looking at you in the mirror, “it’s not too late, you know? We can all get away right now. Whisk you off to some island, relax for the week instead.”
Smiling, you shook your head. “I’m not saying this is how I envisioned this going but I can’t leave now.”
“I thought the same thing,” Hanna pipes up, looking over at you from the window. She and Charlotte were midway through steaming the last of the wrinkles out of your dress.
“But that’s different, you two have been together for as long as I can remember.” You answer, making her laugh.
“I promise we’re not as old as you just made us sound.” Hanna smiles at you, you smile back.
“Of course not; I just didn’t think I'd be alone today. I figured I'd have my parents with me but honestly, I couldn't be more grateful for you guys.”
“No need to thank us, now close your eyes and let me fix this. No offence, but you look horrible right now,” Lily bites back a laugh. Everyday, you realize more and more how much she matches Alex perfectly.
You shut your eyes and lean your head back slightly, letting Carmen start on your hair.
The last week had been a mess.
First off, the last race before the break went soooo horribly wrong for you, dropping you down to a definite 2nd in terms of points when you were fighting for 1st with Max. You missed your flight and had to book another one which was the next day but then there was a storm warning in Spain, meaning you were stuck in Hungary for 3 days longer than you should have been and because you missed the 2 flights and were now 4 days late, you missed your hair appointment as well as your nail appointment plus you couldn't make it to the seamstress to fix the embroidery on your dress hence the meltdown in your hotel room this morning.
The girls made quick work to fix the last week’s mess.
Carmen worked on curling your hair, pinning up half of it so it didn’t see like you had missed the appointment. Lily took her time doing your makeup, blending until everything was seamless. Charlotte painted your nails for you while your hair and makeup was being done. Sandy was stitching the loose embroidery back into place even though you told her it wasn't necessary. Hanna tumbled through your jewellery box, pulling out the earrings and necklaces she thought would go with your dress.
About an hour and a half passes and you’re all ready. Carmen and Lily were the only two left in the room with you, Charlotte and Sandy left to go get ready and wrangle their boyfriends into getting dressed. Hanna had left a while ago, seeing that she had herself and 3 little ones to get dressed but she did promise to send Seb down for you.
Lily straightens your necklace as Carmen does the last loop on your dress, pulling it tightly before bowing the ribbons on the curve of your spine. They both come around to face you, smiling.
You were starting to get emotional again and you hadn’t even left the room yet. “Okay don’t do that,” you looked at the two girls grinning at you. You leaned your head back, fanning your face. “You’re going to make me ruin my makeup.”
“You look beautiful.” Carmen smiles at you, Lily nods in agreement.
There’s a knock on the door and Lily goes over to see who it is, opening the door just enough to stick her head out the door way. “It's Daniel,” Lily calls back to you and you tell her it’s okay for him to come in.
She and Carmen wish you well, giving you a quick hug as Daniel comes in. The two of them head out to get themselves ready.
Even though you and Daniel had only been teammates for 2 years before you moved over to Mercedes, you two remained good friends.
The media loved when you two reunited in the paddock; you’d know when you were together because the laughter could be heard from the other side of it. Now while you were still friends but you fought dirty on track, pushing and turning in early on each other -- no hard feelings, that was racing.
“Holy shit,” Daniel grins at you, watching as you do a little spin in your dress. “You look like a princess,” he laughed in amazement.
“Thank you Danny, you’re too sweet.” You walk over to hug him. The Aussie only wraps one arm around you, the other holding a shoebox tucked into his side.
“I know you have your shoes already but a little birdie told me you were missing something blue.” He holds the box out to you, smiling as you open it.
You’re in shock, there’s no way he actually remembered this stupid little fact you told him so long ago.
One afternoon after a race, you and Daniel had a little too much wine and were all giggly, eating room service in your pjs as you chatted. He was your best friend and you two talked about everything under the sun. So there you two were, drunk as ever, planning a wedding for no one in particular. You had shown him these stunning baby blue heels with little rhinestones along the side that you told him you would die to wear on your wedding day, if you ever actually got married.
Daniel had the same pair in the box in front of you.
“Danny,” you looked up at your friend, tears in your eyes. “No! Don’t cry!” He fans your face with his hand, making you laugh.
“I looked for these everywhere, how did you find them?” You ask him, admiring the shoes in the box. “Saw them in this boutique that Heidi went into and I couldn’t help myself. I knew you loved them so I had to get them - count it as your wedding present.” He smiles, setting the box down to take them out.
Daniel bends down, slipping the heels onto your feet under your dress.
You could barely see over this one, you had caved and ended up getting two; one for the ceremony and one for the reception because you took the girls shopping with you and they convinced you that you only get married once - ideally - and you deserved to have the dress of your dreams.
The one for the ceremony was a few layers short of a ballgown, it’s got a bit of flair but it’s form fitting above your waist with a sweetheart neckline and embroidery from under the bust down to the middle of the skirt as well as the corset back which was exactly what you wanted.
The second dress for the reception was more form fitting, hugging your curves with a V neckline and a mermaid bottom plus a slit along the left thigh.
You had almost everything before Daniel walked in. Your something old, being your mother’s necklace from when she got married, something new was your dress and something borrowed was Carlos’ mother’s veil; you had fallen in love with it since you saw her wedding photos and she gave you to wear for your wedding day.
Something blue was missing and Daniel gave that to you.
Daniel stands, smiling at you. “Stunning as always,” he says, kissing your cheek. “Please, post race me is the furthest thing from the picture of beauty but thank you Danny, truly.”
There’s another knock on the door. You shout come in without even thinking and Sebastian walks in, his green tie catching your eye. “Hi Seb,”
“Hi, you look beautiful.” he beams, eyeing your dress. “Are you ready? Hanna and I are heading to the church with the kids.”
“Do you have space to take her? I can drive her, Heidi already left with Charles and Charlotte.”
“Is that okay with you?” Seb asks you and you nod. “That’s more than fine, I’ll see you at the church ?” Seb nods, smiling and leaving you with Daniel.
---
He has to get dressed, sitting on the bed as he stares out the big doors that lead into the yard. There’s a knock on the door and his sister, Ana, comes in.
“Carlos! You’re not dressed yet?” She asks her older brother, starting to look around for his shirt and tie. Blanca hears the commotion and comes in, making the same comment their youngest sister had.
“What’s wrong?” She asks him, fixing a few stray hairs. Carlos shakes his head, smiling. “Why would anything be wrong?” He looks at her.
“We have to leave in 20 minutes and you’ve yet to finish getting ready.” She points out, that kicks Carlos into high gear. “20 minutes?!” He shouts, grabbing his shirt from Ana and pulling it on.
The two sisters manage to calm him down, helping him with his tie and fixing the few hairs he knocked out of place. They run through the list once more before their mother comes in.
“Shoes, tie, jacket ?” Blanca asks Ana, skipping over Carlos as she searches for his watch.
She’ll never understand how he was the oldest and he was literally getting married tonight and yet, he can’t keep track of his stuff.
“All set.” She answers, fixing his cuffs and sliding the cufflinks through the slot.
“Hey,” Carlos calls out to his sisters, “thank you, both of you.” He smiles, arms open for them to come and hug him.
“Ahí están mis bebés,”(there are my babies,) their mother smiles, walking into the room.
The sight of her children warms her heart, basking in the fact that this is the last time it’ll just be the 3 of them.
Carlos lets go of his sisters, finding his way over to his mother and he pulls her into a hug. The older woman rests her hand on his cheek as he rests his head on her shoulder.
“Are you ready?” She asks him, her hand cupping his cheek as he looks at her.
“As ready as I'll ever be.”
“I've been looking for you,” Carlos Sr, comes in looking for his wife. He notices that everyone is dressed and just standing around. “Tenemos que irnos pronto, no puedes llegar tarde a tu propia boda.” (We have to leave soon, you can't be late for your own wedding.) He says to no one in general, the women all rolling their eyes at his hurriedness.
“No llegaremos tarde, papá.” (We won’t be late, dad.) Blanca tells him, resting her hand on his shoulder.
Their parents step out after another warning from Carlos Sr that they cannot be late, his sisters step out after them to gather last minute things; jewellery, shoes and whatever else they needed.
Carlos was looking for his phone, he had sent Rupert over to check on you. Even though his sisters had gone over earlier, he knew they wouldn't be staying because they needed to get ready as well.
You made it clear that you did not want to see him or hear from him unless someone was sick, something was on fire or someone had died.
He was about to call Rupert, his phone pressed to his ear as he walked out the room and down the hallway. Carlos can hear the phone ringing not too far from him, Rupert rounding the counter as he ends the call.
“I was just coming to find you, mate.” Rupert tells him, pulling his jacket on. “Is she okay?” Carlos asks him, sliding the phone into his pocket.
“All good, she was getting ready when I left.” Rupert avoids telling him about the meltdown he found you in, both you and Carlos would appreciate the avoidance of the topic for different reasons.
“Wait, why are you here?” Carlos asks him, the two of them walking towards the front door.
“I came back for my clothes dude,” Rupert laughs, “I left in sweats. I can't go to your wedding like that.”
Caco steps in from outside as they reach the door. “There he is!” He smacks the groom on the back of the shoulder. “You’re fucking getting married!” He shouts, all of them laughing.
The 3 of them had gone through so much together, they had also watched you and Carlos move from teammates to friends, to best friends, to enemies and back to friends before you finally made it to lovers.
---
The church was quiet, the guests had slowly started to arrive and filled the pews by the front. It was mostly family and friends from what Daniel had told you. You hadn’t actually gone out yet, you were hidden away in a room at the back of church, waiting on your cue.
There’s a knock on the door, you look up from your spot on the couch. “Who is it?” You call.
“It's me!” You can hear the German accent, either Mick or Seb but most likely Sebastian. “Come in!” You shout back.
Your suspicions correct, and the older German walks into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Are you serious ?” He looks at you, his arms folding over his chest in a sigh.
“Seb, you’re gonna wrinkle your shirt like that.” You tell him.
He shakes his head, smiling at you. “You’re going to get pizza sauce on your dress if you're not careful.” Sebastian looks around for a blanket or towel, opening the cupboard in the corner of the room to find some sort of sheet. He tossed it over your lap, that way if anything fell, it would be the blanket.
“Where did you even get that?” He reaches over you, grabbing a slice of pizza from the box on the table next to you. “Daniel stopped because I hadn’t eaten yet, we also did a shot for courage in the car.” You chuckle, eating your pizza happily.
Seb was mid chew when he realized what you said. “For courage ? Having some cold feet, kid?”
You shake your head, setting the crust in the corner of the box. “Just jittery -- was it like that when you and Hanna got married?”
“Not really, we have been together for so long. We were just making it official, I guess.” He answers your question, still eating.
“That’s no help.” You slouch back into the couch.
Damn you for picking such an uncomfortable dress.
“If you want to make a run for it, I'll drive. Hanna can meet us wherever and you know you’re welcome to hide out at our place.” Sebastian offers, making you laugh.
You smile at him. “As much as I appreciate the offer, I'm good.”
There’s another knock on the door and you pull the blanket off your lap, getting up. “Come in-- only if you’re not Carlos!” You call out, thinking maybe it's time to go.
Toto peeks past the door, “can I come in?”
“Of course,” you smile, giving him a hug when he steps in. “You look beautiful,” he tells you with a smile.
“It’s a change from the race suit, that's for sure.” You smile. “Don’t say that, you won 2 championships wearing that.” He teased, “on the way to win another, no?”
“I hope so.” You smile.
Both Sebastian and Toto held special places in your heart, the two of them amongst the first few people, aside from Carlos, to really believe in you and your skills. They always spoke highly of you, praising you for pushing your way through and not taking shit from anyone.
You proved that you worked for your spot and you had the records to show for it.
So when it came time for you to ask someone to walk you down the aisle, it was a tough one.
Sebastian was like an older brother, he’d tease you and bully you for fun but he always had your back no matter what. You knew you could rely on him for anything and he had proved that you could. He was the first to congratulate you on a job well done or he’s giving you a pep talk, telling you to kick their asses the next week.
On the other hand, Toto was like a father figure. He’s your team principal of course, but the relationship went beyond that. He checked on you like you were his own kid, especially after your parents��� passed, but he never made you feel like you were a child.
After all, you went with Sebastian simply because today wasn’t work, no need for Toto to walk you down the aisle like how you two always ended up walking down the paddock together.
“Are you ready ?” Toto asks and you nod, smiling. “Good, I was about to offer to be a getaway driver but I'm glad you’re all set.”
“I can drive myself thank you very much-” “Can you even see over that dress?” Seb laughed, brushing the crumbs off his lap.
“No, Daniel made me sit in the back because he couldn't find the gear stick.” You giggled, earring you some laughs. “Okay but I promise you both, I'm ready. No need for a getaway driver.”
“Good, I'll see you out there,” Toto smiles at you before stepping out.
You make one last check on your makeup before there’s a knock on the door again, “you’re popular today,” Sebastian jokes, making you laugh. “Comes with the territory,” you tuck a piece of hair back into place.
“Come in!” You call and Ana sticks her head in, to see who was in the room before coming in all the way, shutting the door behind her.
“Oh my god.” She breathes, taking in you in your dress.
She, Blanca and Reyes had gone dress shopping with you and saw you in the dress but to see it all done up with jewellery, makeup and hair - she was feeling a bit emotional.
Ana leans her head back, fanning her face. “You look beautiful.”
“Oh my god, don't cry,” now you’re fanning your face.
Sebastian bites back a smile, trying not to laugh at the two crying girls. No one is drunk yet so what’s going to happen when they drink?
“Okay,” she lets out a puff of air, “it's time. Are you ready?” She asks you, “as ready as I’ll ever be.” You smile at her.
Ana gives you a quick hug, “I’ll see you out there.. hermana.” (sister)
She leaves you in the room with Seb, the German comes over and links arms with you. “I won’t ask again but..” he trails off and you get what he meant.
“Yes, I'm ready, Seb.” You say to him, the two of you finally stepping out of the room.
The church is quiet, you can hear the bridal march started to play as you and Sebastian approach the big brown doors. You take one last breath, your arm looped with Seb and the other holding your bouquet. The doors open and the pews are full from front to back.
There’s no way you two invited so many people.
Seb takes the first step, you finally register that you’re getting married.
You’re walking down the aisle towards the man you love.
Carlos smiles at you, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hands. You can’t help but giggle; what a dork, you think.
Sebastian walks you up to Carlos, letting go of your arm after he kisses your cheek. “Love you,” you smile at Seb, “me too.” He gives your hand a squeeze before letting go.
Carlos’s hand is holding yours as you step up beside him, Lily sneaks away from Alex to fix the back of your dress, fluffing the end so it sits pretty on the steps behind you.
You glance back at the girl, she smiles at you and you hand the bouquet off to her before she returns to her seat. You and Carlos are now facing each other, smiling like school children. You wipe away a tear from his face, “you’re going to make me cry if you don’t stop.”
“I can’t help it,” He laughs, the two of you turning to listen.
You two had opted out of the bridal party; having to pick and choose who you wanted to be up there with you would be impossible so you decided against it and just invited everyone instead. Also post your decision to void the bridal party, Carlos let you know that they wouldn't typically have one anyways so it worked out best for both of you.
It was a simple ceremony, the usual run through before half way through the ceremony, you realize you forgot something. Carlos notices your quietness, he leans over and asks what’s wrong.
“I forgot the veil,” you whisper to him, his eyes shifting to your hair where the veil wasn’t. “Where is it?” He asks.
“Daniel’s car,” you tell him, it wasn’t the biggest deal that you forgot it but it felt off without it.
You two were about to exchange vows but Carlos turned to Daniel. “Mate, her veil’s in the car.” He tells Daniel who’s already up from his seat.
You can’t help but laugh. All this planning and still, you’ve managed to forget something. Daniel shouts he’ll be back and he’s running down the aisle and out the door. Everyone sits there in awkward silence for a bit, Daniel returning all but 2 minutes later; “I've got it!” He shouts, running back down.
Daniel stops by his pew, hunched over and takes a breath. “Getting old hm?” You joke.
Heidi slides over and takes the veil from her boyfriend as he sits back down. The girl comes over and pins the veil into your hair, fluffing the edges before setting your hair straight underneath it.
“I understand Carlos and y/n have written their own vows,” the priest says, once you’ve both moved back into place. “But it is required for me to ask, if anyone can show just cause as to why they may not be lawfully wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
Both you and Carlos look out into the crowd, no one dares say anything. You two had waited long enough and neither of you had bitter exes that would ruin this for you.
“Very well. Go ahead,” The priest says, letting you two take over with the vows.
“I’ll go first, that way I don’t have to top you.” You say to him, the mic picking it up which earned you a laugh from Daniel. You knew exactly where his mind went with that one and you can’t help but laugh as well.
“I was all but 22 when I met you for the first time, and believe it or not, my first reaction was holy shit - oops,” you cover your mouth, you look over at the priest, “I don't know if I was allowed to say that, sorry.”
Carlos laughed, giving your hand a squeeze before letting you continue speaking. “As I was saying, my first reaction was this guy is so hot.” You laughed, earning a few laughs from the crowd.
“I couldn’t believe that I would have this guy as a teammate, how the hel-heck,” you glance at the priest, trying not to laugh as you caught your slip-up, “am I supposed to focus with him around all the time? But then, you upped and left me the middle of our dream team segment.” You sigh before continuing.
“We’ve been through so much; teammates to best friends and we lost touch but we found our way back to each other because that’s what we do. You and I were made for each other, in this lifetime and all the others; before and after. There's no one else I would want by my side through the craziness and I'm so proud and honoured to have chosen you; I must have done something amazing in my last life to be promised you as a life partner.” You let go of his hand to brush the tear away from his cheek, your hand resting on his cheek and the other holding his hand as you continued.
“Carlos, you are my soulmate, best friend, my biggest support and rival all wrapped up in one. I couldn’t be more grateful for you, I don’t think I tell you enough but I love you more than you could ever know.”
You’re looking at him, a smile on your face and you can feel the tears. You exhale, steadying your racing heart in hopes of stopping yourself from crying.
“How am I supposed to beat that?” Carlos chuckles, the tears already threatening to fall.
“Do your worst,” you tease, your words taking him back to your time at McLaren together.
“Y/n,” Carlos pauses, mirroring your actions by leaning his head back. He lets out a breath and you’re already crying.
How the hell are you two going to get through these vows?
“I don't think what I have to say will outshine your vows but I'll try my best,” he says, looking back at you now. “We’ve been through so much; we’ve had our scary moments, our ups and downs, but we always, always find our way back to each other. I have to remind you of a moment we had what felt like a million years ago; race weekend in Japan, 2019,” he starts and you groan.
“Don’t embarrass me,” you sigh, smiling at him.
“For those of you that don’t know, this one gets a little lost when she parties and we ended up losing her room key and she spent the night with me; but don’t worry padre, nothing happened.” He chuckles, earning some laughs.
“She was half asleep and I was checking on her, she grabbed my hand and I doubt you even remember this,” his eyes meet yours, “you told me that you loved me and that you’d marry me one day.”
He was right, you didn’t remember much from that weekend, let alone telling him that.
“I kept that memory with me. Every time I saw you, I thought about that. I knew this was the woman I was going to marry. Then when you ended up in my arms at Silverstone - again padre, it's not what it sounds like- I knew that was it.”
You can’t help but smile, your face was already hurting from how much you were smiling.
Anyone could see you two were so deeply, madly, head over heels, in love with each other.
“You’re my soulmate, I wouldn't change what we have for anything in the world. You are my sun and my stars, my world revolves around you. Todo lo que hago es por ti. Te amo más de lo que nunca podrías saber.” (Everything I do is for you. I love you more than you could ever know.)
You give his hands a squeeze, your makeup was basically ruined with all the tears but worry not, you’d fix it before dinner. You were so in love with this man, it hurt.
“Te quiero mucho.” (I love you so much.) You smile at him and he smiles back.
After you and Carlos exchanged rings. Caco getting up and handing the two boxes over to you both.
The gold band fits his ring finger perfectly, your wedding date engraved on the inside, simple and it suits him.
Your engagement ring was still on your finger, you ended up keeping it on without even realizing. It worked out because Carlos has gotten your wedding band to match your engagement ring.
Carlos slides on the ring onto your ring finger, the thin gold band identical to his with your wedding date on the inside. Your band had two little diamonds set on the top of it, each diamond fitting snugly on either side of your engagement ring. The duo was quite the eye catcher on your finger.
“By the powers vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” The priest says, stepping out of the way that way he wouldn’t be in the photo.
Your hand rests on his jaw as he kisses you, Carlos’s arm wraps around you and shifts the two of you, dipping you as he kisses you.
It was so incredibly cheesy but you wouldn't want to be cheesy with anyone else.
Lily hands your bouquet back to you as you and Carlos step down the stairs, hand in hand for the first time as Mr and Mrs. Sainz.
The drive back was just a hassle as it was coming, Daniel driving the two of you back to Carlos’ parents’ place in Mallorca; seeing that’s where the wedding was happening.
Carlos was being drowned by your dress in the backseat, Daniel trying not to laugh at the sight.
Once you returned to the house, you left Carlos outside to mingle as you snuck off with his sisters and Lily to change into your other dress.
Lily fixes your makeup, getting rid of any evidence that you had even been crying and touching up your lipstick as Blanca works unlooping your dress. Ana brings the other one over, she was there when you bought that one along with the other girls but Blanca has yet to see it.
“My god,” she looks at the dress. “What ?” You look over at your older sister-in-law, “is it too much?”
“No,” she smiles, “Carlitos is going to drop dead when he sees you,” she laughed, helping you out the other dress and into the other one. Ana zips it up for you, the 3 girls admiring you.
“Okay, I'll go get the groom and you two can make your official appearance,” Lily smiles, leaving you with your sisters-in-law.
“I can’t believe I'm married,” you tell them, both of them laughing. “I’m surprised it took you two so long.” Blanca says, your brows pull together. “What do you mean?”
“Our parents were always digging at him to ask you out, even when you two weren't on good terms,” Ana filled you in, making you smile.
There’s a knock on the door, both sisters turning towards the door. “Who is it?” You call out, “it’s me!” Carlos shouts back.
“Who’s me?” you bite back the laughter as you call back to him.
“Seriously-” Carlos groans, walking in. He shuts up when he sees you.
“What the hell dude, I could have been naked!” “Nothing I haven't seen before.” He says, making his sisters groan. “Outside in 5,” Ana tells him, the two sisters stepping out.
“You look.. hot.” He grins like a kid in a candy store, making you laugh.
“Thank you baby,” you walk over, straightening his tie.
Carlos pulls you close to him, your hands resting on his shoulder. “Can you believe we’re married ?” You ask him.
“I can, because I'm holding my beautiful wife right now.” He kisses you softly, not to mess up your lipstick.
You sigh happily, wiping the lipstick off of his lips with your thumb. You step away from him to fix your hair and Carlos hugs you from behind, “should I keep the jacket ?” He asks and you turn, pulling the jacket off and tossing it onto the bed.
“No,” you smile, kissing him once more before grabbing his hand. “Ready?”
He gives your hand a squeeze, “ready.”
You weren't sure who had the mic at the moment but by the sounds of it, George was playing MC tonight. His British accent cuts heavy through the speakers.
“Can I get everyone’s attention?” George clinks his nail on the side of the glass in his hand.
“Let’s all give a warm welcome to the happy couple; for the first time, here comes Mr and Mrs. Sainz!” He says, the yard breaks out into cheers as you two walk out hand in hand.
You and Carlos make your way up to the front of the yard where the head table is, George handing the mic over to you.
Carlos speaks first, “hi everyone, thank you all for being here, it means a lot to us both. I won’t speak for long, I'm sure y/n has enough to say for both of us.” He chuckles, handing the mic to you.
“Yeah, hi everyone,” you smile, the crowd clapping for you two again. “As Carlos said, thank you all for being here. If I have to stand here and thank every single person who helped us pull this day together; we’d be here forever so I’m just going to make a quick run through, please bear with me.”
You look around, figuring out who to go to first. “To the original Mr and Mrs. Sainz,” you look towards your in-laws, “thank you for everything you do for both of us.”
“Blanca and Ana, thank you for all the running around, the late night talks, the million different time zones that we covered in the 3 weeks but you two really helped us pull this together.” You smile at your sisters-in-law, Carlos pulling your hand with the mic towards him. “Te amo!” he calls to his sisters, making them smile.
Truthfully, you and Carlos had decided you wanted to get married all but 4 months after you got engaged, and you set the wedding for 3 weeks after you made that decision. Neither of you wanted to wait until the end of the season, wanting to spend the holidays as a married couple and not wanting to deal with wedding stuff.
You look around once more. “Caco and Rupert, the two biggest pains in my side; I gained two brothers with you two.” You smiled at them, “thank you, for what? Too much for me to recall.”
You hand the mic over to Carlos, letting him say his thank yous to his parents, sisters, and to Caco and Rupert.
He gives you back the mic, you take over and head back through your list. “To my girls,” this one was for Lily, Carmen, Charlotte, Sandy, Hanna and Heidi. “You guys are the fricking dream team, thank you for the millionth time tonight.”
“Last one for now, sorry.” You apologize to the crowd for the million thank yous you had. “Seb, Danny and Georgie; the best brothers a girl can ask for. You know you all have big parts in my life, without you three - life would be dull.”
For the last time, you pass the mic back to Carlos. He closes out the speech from you two; “once again, thank you to everyone who came, those who helped, those who are still helping,” he laughed. “Let’s have a good time tonight! Go eat, drink, help yourself to anything, cheers!”
The cheers started again, you and Carlos finally finding your way to your seats. George takes over with his MC duties, telling everyone that dinner would be out shortly as the first dance followed by the mother-son dance would take place in a few minutes.
Carlos noticed the way you downed the rest of your champagne at the mention of the dance. “We can skip that if you want,” he whispers to you. He knows it’s weighing heavy on you that your parents aren't with you.
“Are you crazy ? Your mother has one son. We are not skipping that.”
“Are you sure you don't want to ask Toto or even Seb?”
“Carlos please,” you rested a hand on his, “I’m fine, please go dance with your mama.”
Once dinner was served and everyone was seated, Carlos grabbed your hand and led the two of you to the dance floor in the middle of the yard. You and Carlos were close to each other, one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hand. His free hand on your back as he spun you around.
There was no actual choreography but it was just the two of you having fun, dancing like you would in the kitchen at midnight or in the middle of the driveway in the rain.
Carlos spun you one more, pulling you back to him and dipping you - he was feeling cheesy today - before kissing you.
You walk him over to his mom, kissing his cheek and handing him off to her. Reyes stops you, pulling you both into a hug and she kisses your cheek before walking back to the dance floor with her son.
This dance was a lot softer, her arms around her son, the two of them laughing and smiling, the tears in both of their eyes.
The sight was heartwarming, you watched as they danced. You were about to go get something to drink when someone grabbed your hand. Looking back, Carlos Sr was behind you, his hand holding yours as he led you to the dance floor.
“You don't have to-” “Shh, eres mi hija también.” (You’re my daughter too.)
You smile at the man, tear eyed as he hugged you. The two of you dancing alongside Carlos and his mom.
After a few minutes, Blanca and Ana joined the 4 of you; now all 6 of you were up there as one big family.
After that, dinner resumed.
Shortly after, the party started.
The drinks flowing, the crowd shouting as they danced, the yard full of people; some you were still meeting. You and Carlos in the middle of the crowd, jumping along to the beat of the music when there’s a screeching noise, causing everyone to look in the direction of the noise.
Charles is standing in front of the head table. He tapped the mic 3 times. “Hi everyone!” He shouts, cringing himself at how loud that was. “Shh, sorry.” He laughed.
His face relaxed, the lazy grin on his face a clear indication that Charles has too much to drink.
“I’m Charles! Carlos’s teammate at Ferrari,” he says, emphasizing the Ferrari. You bite back a laugh and glance around for Charlotte, you can't see her; no wonder Charles was up there. This was too good to stop.
“So y/n, Carlos. You two are soooo made for each other.” He nods to himself. “You know, love is funny like that- so is life. I mean, you two hated each other. Now you’re married - funny.” He smiles, his drunk-ness giving him the confidence to ramble.
“Facts!” George shouts, sipping on his drink, making his way up to the table with Charles. “He’s right! They hated each other.” George confirms.
Carlos was mortified when Charles got up there and now you had the same look on your face when you saw George joining him. Your drunk teammates were up to no good.
“I just wanted to say, you deserve to be happy and you should love each other like there's no tomorrow; life isn't promised and we live a dangerous life so you do that.” Charles is once again, nodding to himself. “Oh! Also, Carlos, y/n, I'd love to be an uncle, but soon so she can’t beat us in the championship.” Charles whispers that part into the mic, earning laughs from the crowd; I mean even Toto laughed.
“Hey! NO!” George says when he registers what the Monegasque has said. “No no, she will win this year! Merc on top!” He says proudly, patting his chest for some unknown reason.
Where in god’s name were Carman and Charlotte?
You nudge Carlos to go take the mic from them and separate them before they start to fight.
The sober speeches of love had already been made during dinner, post dances. Carlos’s parents shared their secret to a happy marriage, Blanca and Ana said their piece, Seb and Daniel spoke on your behalf, Caco and Rupert had their own little pieces to add as well.
You couldn't have asked for a better wedding.
You were pulled from your thoughts when you see Carmen and Charlotte pulling their boyfriends away, Carlos returning to you. You smile at him as the music resumes, the two of you going back to dancing.
The entire grid had actually turned up for this wedding; you take credit for that. You sent invites to everyone and their spouses because you loved them all and you couldn't pick and choose.
Most of the couples are on the dance floor; Daniel and Heidi, Nick and Sandy, Charles and Charlotte, Esteban and Elena, George and Carmen, Alex and Lily.
Pierre and Antonio were in competition, chatting up a very pretty bartender you hired for the night, you had a mental note to give her a good tip for putting up with them. Across from the boys, was Checo and Max with their respective partners, all 4 of them in a conversation while the boys toasted with two shots was what looked like tequila to you.
Across from the dance floor sat Yuki and Valtteri, mid conversation over food with Valtteri promising to introduce him to some cafe in Austria next time you’re all there.
Another table sat 4 couples; Toto and Susie, Sebastian and Hanna, Fernando and Andrea, as well as Kimi and Minttu. It was a weird mix of people, not ones you sat together but they found their way together. You aren't really sure how Kimi ended up at your wedding either, you think you sent an invite to him or maybe Carlos did, but you hadn’t gotten a response but the more the merrier.
Zhou and Lewis stood by the crowd, not in it but near it. Lewis was showing him something on his phone, Zhou then points to his own shirt and proceeds to tell him something before looking back to the screen.
Of course, Mick had found Piñon, who took a liking to him, the dog cuddled up by his legs as he chatted with Lance, Kevin and Louise.
At some point, you thought you had seen Jenson and his wife as well as your favourite reporter, Ted, but with all the people, you lost them somewhere in the crowd.
Carlos grabs your hand, pulling you through the crowd in the yard and down the pathway which leads out to the front, by the street. The two of you took some quiet time away from the crowd, basking in your early moments of marriage.
Leaning on a silver Mercedes, you adjusted the strap on your dress.
“I love this one,” he says, stepping towards you.
“Yeah?” You smile, resting your hands on your chest.
Carlos had gotten rid of his tie, rolled up his sleeves and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirts. The moonlight reflecting off the car and onto him, the dull streetlight casting its own glow.
“Your sister said you’d ‘drop dead’ when you saw me in this,” you laughed. “I’ll drop something else,” he teases, fingers sliding your bare thigh - the slit in your dress working to his advantage.
“Carlos!” You smack his hand away, laughing.
The man rests his forehead on your shoulder, peppering kisses along your skin. You passed a hand through his hair, your cheek pressed his.
“You had to invite the whole grid?” He asks.
“How could I not? It would look horrible if I pick and choose, so I invited them all.” You shrug, smiling.
“You had to invite Toto as well?”
“Carlos! How could you even ask me that?” You smack his shoulder. “Of course I had too. I didn’t stop you from inviting Mattia.”
“It’s my wedding day, not work.” Carlos points out and you roll your eyes, sticking your tongue out at him. “Not my fault my team principal is better than yours.”
“I love you, you know that?”
“I would hope so since we just got married.” You laughed, earning you a smile.
Carlos pulls you to him, kissing you under the streetlight like something out of a movie. Your life felt so surreal; you were married to the man of your dreams, you had your dream career, on the way to win your 3rd championship and hopefully more, no plans of quitting anytime soon.
“God, how is this real?” you mumble against his lips. “All real, baby. I’m right here.” He says, “pinch me if you need to.”
You take him up on the offer, your hand reaching around him to pinch his lower back. “Ow!” he laughed, pushing you back onto the car.
Carlos had you sitting on the hood of the very expensive car, neither of you had any idea whose car it was. His lips meeting yours, your arms over his shoulders, fingers tangled in his hair. Your leg hooked on his, the slit leaving easy access for him to snake his hand between the two of you right down to between your legs.
“Not here,” you whisper, “no one’s here, it’s okay.” he kisses you, your worry melting away as his fingers creeped closer to where you wanted it.
“What the hell?!” George groans, seeing the two of you. “Dude, c’mon!” He twists his face, Carlos letting you go and you slide off the hood of the car.
“Is this yours ?” You glance between George and the car.
“No, I have the key to a random car, y/n.” He answers, clearly more sober than he was during Charles’ speech.
“Sorry,” you giggle, looping your arm with Carlos. “I hope you’re not driving anywhere right now.”
“Came to get Carmen’s shawl.” He tells you, unlocking the car.
George grabs the thin brown shawl, tossing it over his shoulder as you three walk back into the party together. Carlos, your ex teammate, now husband, on one arm and George, current teammate, not husband, on the other.
The party is still going, the yard full of people.
You danced with everyone, you met more of Carlos’s family, your face hurt from smiling and your feet hurt from dancing, you’ve taken so many photos you thought you were going to go blind from the flash.
Carlos’ parents had left everyone in the yard around 3am and went to bed, his sisters following in around 4am, leaving you two to take over hosting duties. You and Carlos said goodbye one by one, hugs and cards being given to you two as people filed out one by one.
The sun was starting to peek over the horizon, just a few people left back and most of the crowd had dispersed and headed back to wherever was home for now.
Alex and Lily were fast asleep on the couch inside the house, you weren’t sure how they ended up in there.
Charles was asleep on the patio couch, his feet up on the table and Charlotte’s head on his lap. She’s stretched over the rest of the space with his blazer tossed over her.
Daniel and Heidi found a bedroom you assumed, Daniel’s car parked out front still and you saw her heels by the back door.
George and Carmen had taken the other couch in the living room, his arms wrapped around his girlfriend tightly.
The rest of the couples and drivers had left, Pierre and Antonio being the last ones. Pierre was with you by the front gates, his arm over your shoulder.
“How does it feel to be Mrs. Sainz?” He asks you. “Good, I'm keeping my last name - just so you know.” You smile at him, leaning into his side. Antonio was walking over with Carlos, the two of them chatting as they made their way to the gate.
It was almost 6am and you were ready to crash.
Pierre lets go of you, giving you a hug and tells you to have fun on your honeymoon before saying goodbye to Carlos.
Antonio hugs you, “you tell me if he's giving you a hard time, I'll give him a talking too,” he teased, knowing how often you give Carlos ‘a talking to’ on track, which really was just secret code for making out while hidden behind all the hospitality buildings.
“Yeah, I'll do that, Gio.” You laughed, “you two drive safe! Text me when you get home!” You call to the boys in the cars. “Do you know where your phone is?” Pierre asked you.
“No idea, but I'll see the message when I find the phone. Be safe!” You called to them, you and Carlos waving off your last guests before heading back into the yard.
Carlos grabs hold of your hand, pulling you away from the direction of the house. “Where are we going?” You ask, following him down the little pathway out the back of the yard.
No need for him to answer, you knew where you were going.
The pathway led down to the spot where the sand meets the water, the sun reflecting off the slow waves when you got down there.
The two of you sat on the sand, you leaned against your husband. Carlos wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his side.
The man looks at you. “Was it everything you wanted?”
You smile, “more than I could dream of.” You tell him, kissing his cheek.
Carlos moves his hand from your shoulder, letting you lean over his lap. His left arm draped over your legs, your hand coming down to rest on his hand. You fiddled with his wedding ring, and Carlos turns his hand over, letting you interlock fingers with him.
It’s quiet out, there’s no one on the beach but the two of you; still dressed in your wedding dress and tux but that was the least of your concerns.
The only noise coming from the water washing up onto the shore, the sun is up now and you were sleepy. You leaned back onto your husband. "Tired?” He looks down at you.
“Exhausted,” you smile, sleepily.
“How about we head to bed? We can sleep until the afternoon and then pack for our flight on Monday.”
“Let’s just watch the sun come up, just me and you.” You hum.
Carlos obeys your wishes, how could he ever say no to his wife?
“I love you,” he whispers in the silence.
You nod, your eyes closed. “Mhm, I love you.”
----
tagging: @timetoracewrites @diorleclerc @lickmeleclerc @halsteadssneakylink @dragon-of-winterfell @benedictscanvas @elisaa-shelby @hnmaga-blog @czechoslovakiandisco @dr3lover @troybolton14 @Lovingroscoee @compulsiveshit @somanyfandomsbruh @damnyoulifee @barzysreputation @vickyofalltrades @yeolsbubbles
tags for those who showed part 1 and two so much love <333: @hayleyy-l @getawayferrari @panicforspec @eve-eh @oneafterdark @jpotterdilf @zefireqq @ihearttheoriginals @yeolsbubbles @alicekepley @guccicloudz @lewispool @hoodjamz @compulsiveshit @potterndiggory @j-onathan-carnahan @loverboysainz @enjoymyloves @elegantleclerc @vita-di-moda
1K notes
·
View notes
No one can hurt you
Summary : A dinner of revelation and tragedy.
Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.
Thank you! :)
Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover
DISCLAIMER : Rewrite and final version of "All the things you said" | Netflix show: One Day at the Time | Elena’s Story part | Season 3, ep 2. WARNING: mention of physical and verbal aggression! Su*c*de WARNING !R@PE! WARNING: mention of SU*C*DE WARNING TOUGH CONTENT, BE AWARE
DISCLAIMER: This story is fiction and has no correlation with reality. All site names making acts, violence or any other type of aggression are used for artistic purposes, and they did not commit those acts
If you need help. Please get help. You are loved, and your life is valued. Even if you don’t see it, you are loved.
The Monaco Grand Prix is in a few days and you will be slowly preparing for tonight’s dinner. Charles decided to organize a small evening for the pilots and their respective companions. It is in a magnificent hotel overlooking the sea that Charles booked the room and privatized the chef of the restaurant. The luxurious life of Monaco in its greatest fullness, you are always amazed by all the secrets that this small principality shelters.
You were third-wheeling your best friend Heidi to that party. She and Daniel invited you after running into you in the afternoon at the marina. Since you were little you know most of the pilots. So you are happy to have been invited to celebrate this new year of racing in Monaco with them. The evening was going well until the subject of the conversation crumbled into something darker.
“I gotta admit, I’m getting kind of confused.” Ends up saying, Checo rubbing his nose with his glass.
“Oh, my god, me too. What if someone says, “I am not sleeping with you tonight?” And then... an hour later, they’re like, “Eh, fine.” What’s that?” Ask Lando, completely confused.
“Unsurprising,” Pierre whispers under his breath, laughing. You laugh at with him, ignoring Lando's thunder.
“How many women have said, “Eh, fine”?” Questions Heidi sarcastically.
“Yeah, I got to make some calls.”
“Now I’m perplexed.” Says Max trying to make sense of everything he heard.
“I know. It’s confusing. I hate to admit it, but I feel sorry for men. This consent thing is tricky.” Kelly responded and gets up to pour herself more wine.
“No.” You exclaim annoyed by her comment. “Women always blame themselves, and then the man never has to take responsibility. During rape prevention week at the university, all the signs are aimed at women. “Girls, don’t dress provocatively. Girls, don’t walk alone.” How about, “Hey, guys, don’t rape.”" You look up at Pierre knowing perfectly it will trigger him.
“Oh, my god, why are we talking about that? I took a couple pictures as a joke, and Cece thought it was funny.” Pierre exclaims as he gets up from his chair to get himself another beer at the bar.
“Did she? Or did she feel like she had to laugh ‘cause she doesn’t know what else to do with your hand on her boob?” Everyone around the table falls silent and waits. You get up from your chair and walk you way to Pierre.
“Ok, sweetie, take it easy.” Adds Sebastian taking your arm and tries to calm the conversation.
“No. He thinks what he did is cute. You are basically a predator.” You accuse, pointing your finger at him.
“You’re basically a psycho.” Pierre replies, knowing full well it will trigger you.
“Good, call me crazy for defending a woman’s right not to be groped!”
“You’re mad ‘cause the internet told you to be. You don’t know my life or even leave this apartment!” Pierre screams as he approaches you.
“Because of guys like you!” You answer with the same intonation.
“What are you talking about?” Charles asks, taking your hand for you to sit down.
You and Charles are special. You’ve been like ass and shirt since childhood. You’ve known him since you were six. For as long as you can remember, Charles has always been one of your dearest childhood friends. You have shared so much together. No one has ever made you vibrate like he does. Usually his simple touch makes you calmer and reassuring. But you are no longer able to appreciate this contact that you cherish so much.
“You want to know?” You said, scoffing. “Okay. A couple of weeks ago, Heidi and I were coming home from the movies, and we were holding hands. And we noticed these guys staring at us, and then we changed the sidewalks , and they followed us.” You speak with tears in your eyes.
“What?” Sebastian says concerned in his voice. His turn your body to him.
“Yes. And they were going, “Come one, you guys, kiss. We really wanna see it. Just kiss.” They thought that was really funny, too.” You continue telling while drinking a sip of your glass.
“It was actually terrifying.” Ends up adding Heidi after Daniel stares at her intently.
“It was terrifying. And then we finally lost them in a crowd and ran home...” You finish in a huff trying to hold back your tears. Your hand hides your eyes and you try at best to find your calm.
Charles, in his divine goodness, hastens to extinguish you warmly. At first, his touch hurts you and you have only one desire to remove his hands from your dirty body. Yet you cling to him like a lifeline. Deep down, you know it's time. Time to tell what happened that night, a year ago. Nobody dares to speak at your revelation and everyone feels guilty for not knowing sooner.
“Umm... Last year after the Monaco Grand Prix. Lance Stroll raped me. He was my friend, and he raped me in my own bedroom. And then, he threatened me not to tell anyone... but. Why did he do this?” You ask breaking down in tears. “Sorry, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what... I feel.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Sebastian asks tenderly, approaching you rubbing his hand on your back.
“I tried, but... nobody listened to me.” You respond looking at Lando through your tears. Your eyes pierce Lando’s being. He doesn’t know where to put himself and his cheeks become red. He implores you to keep your mouth shut, but the situation no longer belongs to you. You feel the body of Charles being redeemed against yours and you notice that he followed your gaze.
“You knew.” He accuses Lando turning his attention abruptly towards him.
“I... I.” He tries to defend himself. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“Oh, you think she knew what to do either.” He yells, getting up from his chair and grabbing him by the collar.
“Charles, let him go!” Orders Carlos.
“You let her suffer silently when you knew what he did to her. I thought you were better than this. T’es qu’une grosse merde.” You’re a piece of shit
“Oh please, like you would have done something? We all know he’s untouchable and has done it before.” Admitted Lando, pushing Charles away.
“What?” Sebastian speaks up. This is the first time he has heard this from his former teammate. He never thought he would ever see Lance in this light.
“Nothing.”
“It’s nothing? He raped her, and now other girls too?” Charles advances again, preventing him from fleeing the situation.
“Don't play fouls, Charles. You were in his hotel room at the party in Abu Dhabi last year, and I quite remember your hands on some teenage girls, groping them.” He said suddenly, pushing Charles out of his way again.
“What?” You speak up, troubled by Lando's affirmation.
“It’s not what it looks like.” Charles turns to you, trying to explain himself. You get up from your chair and walk back as you see him approach.
“Don’t touch me.” You say, pushing him away. “Did you do it?”
“I... It’s not the same thing.” He justified himself.
“Yes. It actually is. Did you grope those teenage girls or worse raped them?” You ask scandalized. Charles, your best friend, your confidant, the one you most trust is capable of the same thing as the person who hurt you the most.
“Oui,” he admits in a small voice. “I didn’t want to.”
“You didn’t want to? What the fuck, Charles. What's wrong with you all?” You yell, taking your stuff and leaving as fast as possible.
The thought of all this happening to so many more makes you sick. How could nobody speak up about this? You walk down the hotel hallway. You can hear footsteps and Charles's voice telling you to come back. When you get to the lobby, you ask for a taxi home. Tears fall down your cheeks, and you look at him as you push the door out.
You take your taxi and give him your address. All you want right now is a shower. A warm and reassuring shower. To pull away all those memories and thoughts. You want to scream to the world. You want to smash your entire apartment down. You want to stay in bed for the rest of your life. You want to jump off the roof. You want to cut yourself so that the pain stops. You want to be set free.
You arrive at the complex. Your dark thought runs in circles in your head. Like a robot, you open the door, press the elevator, and finally unlock your apartment. You let your essentials fall on the ground with your bag and coat. Like a machine, you take your shoes off and open the lights.
The sight of your home, which does not feel like home anymore. Since Lance pushes himself into you while you try to make him go away, this place hasn’t felt like home. You can’t even sleep in your own bed anymore. No matter how many times you clean the sheets, change the bed. This memory comes running back into your mind. Invade you like a parasite.
You go to the bathroom and open the valve to fill the bathtub. You watch the water. You can hear your phone blowing up with notifications and calls. “Why does this world have to be this cruel?” You think, taking your clothes off.
Your body envelops itself in the heat of the water, and you close your eyes. Your body slips in the bath. You head underwater. You hear focusing on your heart bit. You enjoy this moment of quietness and solitude.
That’s it. You feel alone since that night he took your joy, your life, yourself.
You can feel the water pressure you to gasp for air. Your head starts popping your blood. Your heart rises to find oxygen. You struggle. You have been struggling this long. You want to go, and you want to let go.
You let the water go in, and suddenly, all the scary parts disappear. The explosion in your head fades away, and you’re not scared anymore. You find it relatively peaceful. Very peaceful.
Strangely, you’re dreaming. Him with you. On a boat. Feeling the breeze in your hair. The warm sun on your skin. His light touches on your thigh. His breath on your neck. His lips are on your breast. You’re daydreaming. Are you? Is your mind trying to ease the pain in your heart? Is it even the day?
Then. You open your eyes. You try to scream, but your head is under the water. You feel weak but strong. Sick but healthy. Chaos but at peace. You can feel your body wiggling, but your mind is different. No one can hurt you now. Quietly, your eyelids become heavy again, and what a moment ago hurt you the most now makes you feel good.
The water fills your lungs, and you sink more and more into the darkness. Nobody seems to pull you up. The seconds pass, but you no longer find the courage to go out. The bathtub disappears, and you find yourself in the sea. In a warm and welcoming sea; The Mediterranean. An infinity of blue. An infinity of sweetness. The noises are only deaf sounds, and you feel your brain more and more calm. The sun’s rays pass through the water, and you move further and further away from it. Your eyelids become more and more stretched.
Then you see beautiful blue eyes through the water. No fair. You can’t reach them but can’t stop staring at those ocean-blue eyes. Suddenly, you feel scared. Scared to leave those ocean eyes. You’re afraid, and you’re drowning under the waves of words you haven’t said to them, to you.
You try to fight back this peaceful state, but darkness is an easier path than light. Suddenly the silence suffocates you, and you miss the sound surrounding you.
Then comes the darkness.
When you leave the apartment, Sebastian watches Charles running after you. He can’t believe what has happened. He doesn’t want to consider it. How could he? He sees and goes to the door, and Charles is defeated on the ground. He passes by without a look and walk his way to the lobby.
You have always been a fragile child. Even when you were a child. You were always this little fragile and precious porcelain doll. You’ve never been afraid of anything growing up. Sebastian always loved to see you grow up with him. Despite your age difference, he always considered you his little sister. The little one who needs to be protected from everything and at any cost. Knowing that you are suffering so much hurts him.
In the hallway, the walk seems long and endless, his thoughts wandering toward your shared memories. He remembers many summers spent in the countryside. At your grandparents' meadow, there was a vast field with a few horses grazing on the fresh grass. He remembers that beautiful-eyed little girl running in his direction.
You had dirt all over your clothes. Your hair was braided, and he still remembers the grass sticking in it. He remembers your laughter, which lit up the prairie thousands of miles away. Hearing you laugh has always been his favourite thing about you. Lost, it’s only when the doors block his way out that he remembers he has to go looking for you. He runs through the night towards your apartment.
Charles is devastated. Everything he tried to build with you has just broken in a moment. He feels lonely and ashamed. He wants you to know how much he loves you. How much you mean to him. How much you have become the center of his universe.
Before you, there was racing, and that was it. When you became something more his life change. It was as if you had lit the dormant fire in him. You have extinguished the flame since the death of his best companion, his father. You have given meaning to this quest. The stakes are not won but won for you.
He still remembers the first time he took you to his garage. You were with Sebastian. He was showing you around the Ferrari factory, showing you the different facilities, different parts. You were so captivated by his words, and your eyes were shining like stars in the sky.
He remembers the moment when your eyes landed on him. The smile you had, and the dress you wore and the clip in your hair. He counts you. Unable to say anything. Captivated by your beauty.
“Hi, Charlie.” You said in your beautiful voice.
He stuttered and blushed heavily. You laughed gently before putting your lips on each of his cheeks. He likes a kiss, and no, he likes your kisses.
A hand falls on his shoulder, and he sees Pierre. Tears in his eyes prevent him from distinguishing himself perfectly, but he recognizes his friend.
“Don’t worry. She’ll come back.” He says softly. Taking him by the shoulders to lift him up and bring him back to the room.
The others are still there. Confused and shaken, no one speaks. Silence reigns in the room, and no one knows what to say. Charles opens the patio door and leaves the fresh night air in the room. The city slowly began to calm down, and he heard the waves regularly hitting the harbour.
Daniel gets up and gets rid of the table. Putting this party away may make us forget the events that occurred. Heidi and Kelly help him while the others put orders in the room. No one dares to go to see Charles.
The hour passes quickly, and some decide to leave. They quickly greet the last remaining. Pierre observes his friend, who has not moved, and still looks at the sea.
It’s only when Charles' phone starts ringing that he looks away. He calmly enters the room and answers.
“Hello?”
You always liked the fields. You always loved hiding in the big wheat fields surrounding your grandparents' house when you were little. This stretch of yellow was as far as the eye could see. You liked feeling the stems between your fingers, the seeds melting to your touch, and the particular smell of wheat.
You remember a hot summer day. Lying on a tablecloth after a picnic, nature calms by this overwhelming heat, especially the calm of this yellow and green nature. You remember the farmer who held the farm. You spent days watching him working. Helping him through the mould. Watching him turn wheat powder into cereal. You remember this great man, always with a grain of wheat in his mouth that was constantly chewing.
You remember the hum that bees made at work. From wheat to wheat, pollen is harvested. You remember the nests in the hives that you created one summer. Your grandfather, with his jumpsuit, would go every morning and inspect the nests, and you loved watching him do it. You also loved to taste honey with each harvest. Honey is good. It’s sweet. It’s sweet. It’s wild.
You remember Sebastian. His blond hair, his smile, the sound of his kart engine. Many hours passed in his company at the track with his dad. You remember your big brother, following him and Sebastian all day long, like the annoying little sister you were. You remember falling from a tree after the boys thought it was a great idea to climb it. You see your brother jumping down the tree to get to you and hear Sebastian running back to the house to get help. You spent the night at the hospital. You broke your arms that summer, and you had a commotion. Your parents were furious and punished your brother for the rest of the vacation.
You remember your first winter in the mountains. Mornings skiing, and afternoons making snowmen, eating maple syrup, drinking hot chocolate, just playing in the snow. See your happy brother’s face after he managed to get the last pancake.
You remember Sebastian’s victories. To see him move up from category to category. You remember his encounter with Hanna. You love Hanna. She is so sweet and kind. You remember your great jealousy towards her from the height of your twelve years. She who steals your Sebastian. She who steals your second brother. Oh yes, you were jealous, but she knew how to win your heart, and after all, she stayed.
You remember the Ferrari years. Everyone was in red. You saw the world with red glasses. Red like love. Red like anger. Red as the colour. Red as blood. It’s kind of at this time, when adolescence really starts that you start to change. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, you were no longer the wise little girl your parents admired and your brother despised. No, you grew up making mistakes, a lot of mistakes, until you met him.
Him. The golden boy. The one destined to be great.
You remember his perfume, his smell, his laughter, his mimics, his way of speaking, his way of being and his way of simply being. He intimidated you so much; this guy was destined for something big. Whereas you, we never expected much from you besides being pretty, lovely, not disturbing, quiet, and reserved.
Quiet.
Reserved.
Pretty.
In those words, your brain falls into the dark side of your life. The darkened side of time. Painful and unhappy memories. The memories of him, the one who once was your best friend. He who once was your confidant. He who once saw fit to r*pe you.
To find you after the Grand Prix, in your apartment, in your house, in your home. To be a little too drunk, surely. To hold you firmly. To put his lips on yours. To hold your wrists. To put all his weight on your body. To force you into bed. To beg him to stop. To cry in silence. To feel it in you. To feel dirty. To feel unloved.
To feel alone, so lonely, too lonely.
To find yourself curled up in a ball in a corner. To wait until morning for him to leave. To want to end your life. To end your nights. To seek help. To be abandoned. To be alone. To be dirty. To be silent. To be reserved. To be pretty.
To be pretty.
To be pretty.
To be.
Silent is all you ask for.
It’s been a long night. The hours have been staggering. The noises of monitors, nurses, doctors, and ambulances invade their ears. No one speaks, and no one dares speak. It is as if a white veil covers the weighing atmosphere and borrows all those present.
The wait is long, too long. They wait patiently for the outcome of this atrocious night, something that does not happen. Sebastian holds his head in his hands, tears have finished flowing, but his eyes are still red. He feels bad. He feels immense guilt. This mixture of shame, sadness, contempt and anger is eating him increasingly as the hours pass and pass before his eyes. He blames himself for not coming sooner. He blames himself for not holding you back. He blames himself for not seeing. He blames himself.
Full of life and ardour, this little girl was smothered under this icy water. Frozen in time. Only the repetitive sound of drops escaping from the pipe disrupted this freezing scene. She hides all her problems behind her smile. Never in his life has he thought of having this vision of you. This pure horror vision of an act yet so courageous. Because it takes courage to think about yourself before thinking about others. It takes courage to put yourself forward and not others. It takes courage to achieve what others have likely failed to achieve.
The roar of the machines stifled Charles. He closed his ears in the hope of silencing them. To see you with your tubes hanging around you, in you. On this hospital bed, this white bed, this room that feels the end. Eyes wet, Charles looks at your pale, serene face. The doctor’s words are dry and not encouraging. Your parents arrive a few hours later, a flight later. They cry. Your brother has tears in his eyes. Sebastian collapses in a corner. Hanna is there; a veil of sadness covers his eyes. Heidi cries in the arms of Daniel, who looks again in the eyes of Charles. Charles holds your hand, your hand. Your hands are cold, frozen by the consequences. Lando doesn’t dare to come in. He feels guilty because he refused to believe you, to reach out to you, see you, and see your distress. He preferred to become blind rather than awake. It haunts him.
Charles, sitting next to you, is watching people walk by. To say goodbye to you, goodbye, forever. He doesn’t want to. He can’t. You’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating. So why do you have to leave? Why did you choose to go?
“Why?” He mumbles one more time, his head against your ear. “Why are you not fighting?”
“Cha... we have to go.”
“No... I-I-I can’t. I can’t leave her.” His voice breaks in a sob.
“Charles,” Pierre says, putting a comforting arm on his shoulder. “Let her go.”
“No...” Charles pushes him away, gripping your hand tighter. “She’s going to survive. She’s going to live. She has to live. You have to live.” He prays, kissing your cold skin.
Pierre sight and get out of the room. His family, her family, his friends, and her friends are here waiting for him. The visiting hours are almost over. Everyone wants to go back to their house and sleep a bit. They haven’t slept all night. Charles hasn’t slept all night. Pascale enters the room quietly. Staring at his son.
“Charles. We need to let her rest. Will come back in the morning, d’accord mon bébé?” She says, taking him in her arm.
He acquires at her request despite himself. Unable to fight anymore, fatigue slowly eats him away, and he knows that he is of no help if he is exhausted. He leaves the room not without a last kiss, a last look, a last goodbye.
On the following day, Charles came. Staying for hours next to you. Stroking your hair, mumbling your name, praying for you to wake up. He can't take you out of his brain. He can't take you out of him. You're haunting him. We realize how important it is in our life when we lose someone we take for granted. Charles looks at you as a friend until he realizes he loves you. Is it too late? Were you supposed to be?
Sebastian came a few times, only a few minutes. He can't unseen what he saw. He plays and plays the night in his head over and over again. Wondering what he could have done differently.
The doctors are not really optimistic about your recovery. Your body is tired. Your mind is exhausted. They did all they could do. All we have to do is wait. Wait for you to come back. Wait for you to fight for your life. How could you fight if you're not even awake? It's painful.
Strangely enough, he came. The rapist. The abomination of your life. You came late at night when everyone left. He felt bad. "It's too late to feel bad," you think when you feel his hand and you. You wanted to cry, to scream, but nothing. He left shortly after. Looking at you one last time. Looking at what he did to you. You hear from Lando a few days later that he got arrested. Other girls spoke, and there were enough accusations to start a trial. Even more strange, it did nothing to you. Well, how could you feel? When he toked everything you got and smashed it in a million pieces?
Sometimes, you can feel the warmth of the afterlife tingling your skin. You feel it right near you, calling you. Calling you to answer the call. You want to feel this feeling of peace, this quietness. You don't know how to feel. You just want to float. You forgot how to be happy. How to be. Why fight if you may never find yourself again? What were you made for? You wonder to yourself.
Time flies. A couple of weeks passed. You made some improvements for the doctors to feel optimistic for you to wake up eventually. You're stabilized by all those machines. Your parent finally arrived a few days after you were admitted. You can feel your mother's tears on your cold hands and the soft kisses of your father on your forehead. You can smell the sunflower Heidi brought you every time she comes to see you. Sometimes you want to react. To show her you listen. But you can't. Or you don't want?
The feeling of loneliness passed. You can see now how much you're loved. How they love you. You love to hear Arthur talking about your favourite series. You love to hear Sebastian remembering childhood moments whenever he found the courage to come. You love to listen to your mom singing your favourite songs. You love to hear Daniel telling dad jokes, hoping you'll smile in your sleep. You love hearing Lando talking about his latest Quadrant adventures or Twitch lives. You love to listen to Charles saying how much he loves you. How much his life is plain without you. You can't imagine somebody else cared so much about you.
That makes you cry. You can't show them you can hear. You can't show them you love them too. You can't show them how grateful you are or will be. More time passed, and the more you could slowly feel you were losing yourself. All you need to do is happen your eyes, but for some reason, it seems an impossible task to do.
"This is impossible," Alices says in disbelief at the creature rising upon her.
"Only if you believe it is." The hatter whispers, scared of the outcome of all this adventure. But wasn't this all the point of this madness?
"Sometimes, I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
"That is an excellent practice." The hatters says. "However, just now, you might want to focus on the Jabberwocky."
"Six impossible things. Count them, Alice. One, there's a potion that can make you shrink. Two, and a cake that can make you grow. Three, animals can talk. Four, Alice, cats can disappear. Five, there's a place called Wonderland. Six, I can slay the Jabberwocky."
You feel yourself falling into the rabbit hole, and you have been in Wonderland all this time. That's it! You can do it. Six impossible things before breakfast.
"One, you will get a major in architecture."
"Two, you can drive an F1 car."
"Three, you can be happy again."
"Four, Y/n, there's a place for you in this universe."
"Six, I will fight for my life."
At this, though, he feels darkness rising upon you. Everything fades away slowly. You can hear the constant beep of the machines around you. You can feel Charles's hands against yours. You can smell the hospital room you're in. You can see the light shutters again you close your eyes.
Then... you breathe.
Feeling the grass on your feet. The autumn breeze cools down your spine. For the first time, you appreciate being alive. To fill your lungs with air, to hear the water crash against the rocks, to feel the sun warm up your skin, and to taste food again.
You feel a hand around your waist, and Charles brings you closer to him. He sticks you to his bare chest. He holds you firmly for fear that you will disappear again. It makes you smile to see him so loving, so gentle, and so attentive. You turn your gaze from the blue horizon to meet his emerald eyes. He smiles tenderly. His eyes sparkle with a thousand lights when you return his smile. You hold these eyes a few moments before you look wandering towards his lips.
If only it could be true.
If only you could be with him.
______________________________________________________________
Hi! Hope you enjoy this final version of the story. It took me sometimes to get back to writing but I'm getting there. I know some of you really like it and it's fill my heart with joy <3
Tag List : tyna-19 dessxoxsworld ynbutbetter alexander-hamilhoe honethatty12 janeholt3 mloyer karmabyfernando omgsuperstarg laura-naruto-fan1998
45 notes
·
View notes