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yuta-nakamots · 3 years

Text

perfect - z.cl

Pairing - Chenle x Fem!Reader

Genre - fluff, angst, university!au, friends to lovers!au

Warnings - alcohol consumption, mention of drunkeness, lots of arguments, heavy making out, breakups, contains an aged up chenle (26-ish) towards the end

Summary - He’s definitely not your knight in shining armor, he may not be the one you bring home to mother, but he’ll be the one to give you flowers. Chenle is not the right one for you, but he is for right now.

Word Count - 5.2k

A/N - Bolded phrases are song lyrics taken from One Direction’s song ‘Perfect’ and inspired from the lyrics along with all the vlives where Chenle and the members have started yelling out the lyrics.This was supposed to come out back in January but school held it up and now Ana is gone hhhhh. I know she’s still on Tumblr but under a new url so if anyone wants to send this to her, to let her know that I did finish it, that would be nice.

Taglist - @astroboy-lele @in-my-neofeelings || fill out this form if you’d like to join my general taglist ^^

Written for the Sometimes Letting Go… Collab originally hosted by @sunryu who unfortunately deactivated.

When I first saw you from across the room, I could tell you were curious

The mutual attraction between you and Chenle was undeniable. Ever since the two of you first met as freshmen in an econ class, you knew he was your twin flame and he was yours. That initial meeting was almost comical, the way the professor said to pair up and talk to someone next to them for a bit and it seemed like everyone had turned away from you except for the boy sitting next to you.

It seems you both had the same realization as your heads turned and eyes met. “Well I guess you’re my friend for today,” he began, “hi, my name is Chenle. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Y/n,” you told him, “the pleasure is all mine.”

“So, why are you in this class?” He asked, tapping his pen on his leather-bound planner.

You hesitated for a second as you thought about how much to tell him. “I’m majoring in business and this was just one of the mandatory classes in my plan.”

“Hm, same here,” Chenle shared, seeming the slightest bit amused at your similarity, “would you also happen to be in calculus this semester?”

“Section 3 at 10:30?” You counter.

Chenle broke into a smile, “that’s the one.”

“How about freshman seminar?” You asked.

“1:15 in the world language building?” Chenle offered, copying your answer from before.

“Wow,” your eyebrows were raised in actual disbelief, “did you steal my schedule or something?”

“No, but I do believe in fate,” the boy next to you confessed, “would you like to get lunch sometime before freshmen seminar?”

You nodded, “I’d like that,” you stopped mid-sentence when you remembered that you told your friends you’d eat with them, “I am gonna be eating with my friends though so I could introduce you to them if you’d like.”

“Want to bet that we have the same friends too?”

“No way, that would be too coincidental.”

And coincidental it was. Somehow your friends knew some of Chenle’s friends whether it be from high school activities, childhood friends, or even having just met in their own classes. Your small group of five had immediately doubled in size.

Of course, with such a large group of friends, there was much fun to be had and many memories to be made. During midterms is when you were thankful you were majoring in business and not something like biology or chemistry. You could still go out and have fun on weekends with Chenle and the majority of your friends, meanwhile a few poor souls had to stay back to study their ‘reaction mechanisms’ or whatever the heck those things were called.

You quickly found that you weren’t one for parties though you loved to hang out with your friends and have small little parties of your own in the dorms. Every single time, as you all got progressively drunker and started to clock out for the night, it was always you and Chenle left being the two most sober with no other choice but to take care of your friends over hushed conversations.

“How much vodka did Hannah even drink?” Chenle asked while you both worked on cleaning up the mess of solo cups and napkins surrounding your friend who had, unfortunately, drank over half of the bottle. You picked it up, waving it at Chenle to show him. “She’s gonna have a nasty hangover…or at least wake up super dehydrated.”

As you worked on laying a blanket across her, passed out on the floor, Chenle had managed to stuff all the napkins inside the cups he had collected and was busy aiming at the trash can across the room. Right as he was about to shoot, “miss!” you called out. The little stack of cups hit the rim of the plastic trash bin and fell to the floor. Chenle turned to you, sticking out his tongue and imitating the way you caused him to mess up before going to properly dispose of the rubbish.

Instead of simply placing it in the waste, he once again returned to where he stood before, with one eye shut, aiming for the bin. You let out a scoff, ready to disturb him once more. He shot you a glance, knowing what you were planning from the way you just stood watching him. But regardless, he tried again. “Airball” you sang as he released the short stack of cups, sending them flying to the foot of the bin.

Chenle let out a growl, childishly stomping his way over to you while you tried to quietly escape from his grasps through the mess of food and other miscellaneous items on the floor. From the hushed giggles and name-calling from the two of you as you both stumbled around the room, to the whispered late-night thoughts and affirmations spoken from your positions on the floor with your heads resting on the edge of a bed, you barely even noticed how fast time was passing.

“Are you going home for the holidays?” You asked him.

He shook his head, “it’s my first time getting to live away from my parents and whenever I do go back, they’ll probably be expecting me to bring some girl with me.”

You turned to look at him, “why would they expect that?”

“They’re both getting old and want to retire soon,” Chenle started, “so the faster I get married and take over the company, the faster they’ll get to live out the rest of their lives,” he explained.

“Well that’s not very nice of them,” you commented, “what kind of parents would place such high responsibility on their child like that?”

“Mine I guess,” Chenle sighed.

After a moment of silence, you sat up, unsure what to make of the next words to come out of your mouth. “If you want, I could go with you.” Chenle looked at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “Like, I could be your fake girlfriend or something so that they don’t bother you so much about finding one.”

“That’s…an idea,” he started, biting on the corner of his lip as he played out possible scenarios in his head. “I think that would only make it worse though since we’d both have to make up stories and tell the same information.”

“True. But we could at least make it look believable, don’t you think?” You reached over to pet Chenle’s head the same way you’ve seen him do to his friends. “Oh, Chenle, you’re so cute,” you cooed, “I can’t wait to marry you and be with you for the rest of our lives.”

He grabbed your wrist and put it in your lap, not very keen on the show of affection. “Yeah, I think we’d look like a pretty convincing couple.”

“Do we look good together though?” You pondered. “If we were to show up to an event or something, would we make people stop and stare at us?”

“Anyone can do that if they wear something weird or do something out of the ordinary-“

“Okay but that’s not what I’m asking,” you interrupted, “I’m asking, would we look good together as a couple?”

Chenle shrugged apprehensively, “sure.” Your eyes bore into him as if forcing a more legit answer out of him. “Yes, I think we would look good as a couple.”

It was as if you and Chenle were made for each other. Whatever one did, the other was never too far behind. It was absolutely no surprise to your friends when you told them Chenle had asked you out and you became official. While your college careers continued and friends came and went, Chenle was always with you. He was your solid island in the middle of a tumultuous sea, your oasis in a dried desert. You didn’t need anyone else around to have fun, just him, just the two of you.

But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms and if you like having secret little rendezvous

Being with Chenle was as wild as things could get. It meant impulsive plans and bad decisions. Weekend nights normally consisted of one of you driving with no destination in mind until someone got hungry. Even at that point, the night didn’t end.

Sometimes the two of you would stay out past midnight, not wanting to leave each other’s company just yet. The feeling of the wind whipping past you as Chenle drove or the thrill of gassing it down the freeway was almost dreamlike. One would think that at this point, you’d return home, but for you, your home was wherever Chenle was. If it meant staying in a small hotel room for the night drinking cheap wine out of paper cups then so be it, that was home.

“Baby, you already drank almost half of the bottle, leave some for me,” Chenle teased, his eyes glimmering under the low lighting. The brightness of the small lamp on the desk failed to reach where he was sitting, the cozy armchair too far in the corner for it to be illuminated.

“Come here and get some then,” you suggested, lazily winking at him before downing another shot-sized gulp and enjoying the burn from the liquid running down your throat. The bed you were sitting on wasn’t all that soft but you had already warmed up a little spot of it and gotten too comfortable to move.

Chenle raised an eyebrow at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. “I don’t think you want me to do that.”

“Why not?” Your expression mirroring his.

“You wanna find out?

“Maybe I do.”

He let out a scoff and within a second he was on the bed, climbing up and settling over you. His warm breath fanned your neck, the scent of alcohol filling your senses. “Are you sure about that?”

“Fuck around and find out, handsome,” you taunted.

You had barely even finished your sentence before Chenle’s lips were on yours, his usual soft and pillowy lips became hot and heavy against yours under the guide of the fifteen-dollar wine. You were sure that you were definitely getting tipsy but Chenle’s love and passion were even more overwhelming. It was moments like this when you felt that you were drunk off of his love and it was absolutely intoxicating in the best way.

If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn’t do, then baby I’m perfect

It was drunk weekends like this that led to a rocky start of the following week. It’s not that you and Chenle were bad students, it’s just that when you become totally infatuated with the person you love, you start to devote yourself to them instead of what actually needs to get done.

As sophomores in college, one would think that you’d have a little more self-control but with Chenle, you just couldn’t help it. He was worse than any drug you could ever take, to the point where your friends would have to intervene and keep you in your rooms until a substantial amount of work was done.

You called them annoying but really you should’ve been thankful to them for caring so much about you back then, and you are thankful, looking back on it. They always told you ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder’ and you wish you had listened to them. Maybe if you did, you wouldn’t have lost a relationship that you thought was practically flawless.

Perfect for you

In junior year, that is when your beautiful illusion finally began crumbling down. Your workloads grew heavier and your hours of sleep decreased. Chenle would often leave you on read, having opened your message in the middle of studying then forgotten to reply to it. Even when you childishly got upset at him for that, he’d always give you the same apology or buy you something cute as if money could shut you up.

With little to no distance between the two of you, it was easy for boundaries to be crossed and for problems to go unaddressed. You can feel like you know someone so well, that they’ll always understand what you mean and they can read your words like a book, but it didn’t seem that way anymore with Chenle.

He’d make fun of the way you always made him say ‘I love you’ at least once a day or some of your other pet peeves, including the way you had a Hello Kitty mouse pad that was ‘too childish for a college student to be using.’ It may have been out of love but it sure didn’t seem that way.

I might never be the hands you put your heart in or the arms that hold you any time you want them

Soon, the little pricks in your relationship spread past closed doors and into your schoolwork. Sharing a major and classes with your significant other was not exactly ideal, especially when they had different values and beliefs from you and had to argue for their reasoning.

“That just isn’t sustainable in the long run though,” you commented as you read through Chenle’s senior research report while seated opposite of him inside a library study room.

He ran a hand through his hair, leaning back into his seat, about to repeat himself for the fourth time. “It’s not about sustainability, it’s about the profit margin that’s being made. What don’t you get?”

“It’s not good for the environment, it’s not good for the people working in the factories,” you point out, “I don’t get how you can subject these things onto people.”

“Y/n, we’re business majors,” he stated plainly, “we study money, the economy, sales, company relationships, we’re not here to be environmentalists. Things don’t have to last very long, so much as they make a profit.”

“But we should think about the impact of our future businesses and their longevity in the world-”

“You should think about passing this class and stop being so prissy and uptight about saving trees or whatever the fuck you’re going on about.”

You were absolutely shocked at the words that had just come out of his mouth. This wasn’t the first time he had seemingly degraded you in this manner, but when it came to school and your own work, you were deeply offended at what he had said, especially since both of you had spent many hours on your respective projects.

“Chenle,” you began softly, “tell me you didn’t mean that.”

He refused to meet your gaze, “If I told you that then I would be a liar.”

“Look, you can’t just spew whatever bullshit you want and just expect that people won’t get hurt,” you criticized, only to be cut off once more.

“Then maybe you should learn to not take everything so seriously,” he snapped back.

“I...I think we need a break.”

“Agreed.”

“No, from each other.” Chenle’s head whipped up to look at you, his eyes went wide when he realized what you were insinuating.

“Baby no, you know it’s not like that,” he started, but it was already too late. You blocked his voice out of your head as you packed your belongings, just wanting to get out of this room, wanting to get away from him.

This wasn’t the first time you had fought with him in this way but it felt like you had finally lost all your patience. You were tired of always being told you were wrong and having your thoughts and ideas invalidated. As you stormed away from the library, you realized that maybe you needed to let go of things that no longer brought you joy.

Sometimes letting go...is a new start

After that incident, you did indeed have a fresh start. You slowly removed Chenle from your life and just in time for graduation. Whenever he tried to approach you on campus, you always turned the other way even if it meant being late to class. Luckily, you didn’t have many shared classes with him anymore and you were all the more grateful for it right now.

You’d come back to your campus apartment with the occasional flower or sticky note left on your doorstep asking you to give him another chance but you simply didn’t have enough time or energy to care anymore. Commencement was approaching and you still had yet to hear back from any of the companies you had applied to for internships.

But that don’t mean that we can’t live here in the moment

One of your friends had mentioned that Chenle had already received news that he was accepted into his family’s business, a large company in China, and you wished you could’ve been there when he had read the email. You could practically hear his yell of delight, his laugh when he’d turn to hug you, even if it was practically guaranteed that he’d get in, you missed it all so much but there was no turning back now.

It wasn’t until after commencement did you receive your own letter of acceptance from one of the largest foreign trade companies in the area after you saw Chenle for the last time. “Zhong Chenle, Bachelor of Arts in business management.” You remembered the immense pride and pain you felt in your chest, watching him walk across the stage to claim his diploma as you sat clothed in the same cap and gown only a few rows away. You wished you could share your emotions with him, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours, he was no longer the man you first fell in love with.

‘Cause I can be the one you love from time to time

Four years have passed since that moment at commencement. In those four years, you’ve climbed your way up in the company, taking a hold of a directing position in project development and management. With all your success though, there was always one failure that kept floating through your mind. The number of sleepless nights and wandering moments you’ve spent thinking about all the ‘what ifs’ and the changes you should’ve made in your relationship have all decreased with time, but sometimes it all comes crashing back. You miss the memories you made with him and you miss being so young and naive.

Sometimes you managed to hear a thing or two about the company he worked for but you never paid much attention to it, always falling back into a spiral of guilt and calling yourself the sole reason why your relationship fell apart. Chenle would even pop into your mind at the weirdest times when you’d be thinking of anything but him.

Like the other day as you were staring out the window of your office, watching people and cars pass by, your memory of Chenle speeding down the empty highway suddenly resurfaced. The adrenaline you felt from the buildings and signs whizzing by, the slight buzz of alcohol you felt in your system, the cool air coming in from Chenle’s window, the warmth of his hand in yours. You couldn’t help but smile at it fondly yet it turned sour when you thought of the last time he ever drove you somewhere. You had argued with him about something dumb, you couldn’t even remember it at this point, and you even slammed the door before storming off to who knows where.

Or some months ago, you were interviewing possible new hires for the company and met someone from Puerto Rico. Once you finished the interview with them, you sat at the wooden desk while remembering the way you teased Chenle because he didn’t know how to pronounce Puerto Rico. You thought it was cute and even told him that, but it ended up in another fight because you may have spent a little too long dwelling on the topic.

But oftentimes when you find yourself thinking about him, you’d wonder how he’s doing. Is he happy where he is right now? What kinds of things is he doing for his job? Has he found a new girlfriend? What if he dated many other people after me? What if he’s married? Would he have children by now? Or most importantly, ‘does he still love me?’

And if you like midnight driving with the windows down, and if you like going places we can’t even pronounce

Regardless, you’d shake off all these thoughts and continue about your day, completing the tasks assigned to you. The majority of your time was spent conducting interviews and deliberating with the directors about who to hire for what position. It was quite fun, really. You got to meet all of the new hires before they came into the company and you felt empowered by the fact that you would be indirectly responsible for the future of the company in this sort of way.

On one particular day, everything felt like it was going just a little too well. Your hair was done just the right way, traffic was light, your coworkers seemed to all be in a good mood, but most importantly, there were no fat folders sitting on your desk, waiting for you to go through. Just a single sheet of paper with the list of the new hires coming in for their briefings along with the notes you were required to go over.

You didn’t bother checking it, seeing as how you had exactly two minutes left before the scheduled meet time, which was exactly the amount of time you needed to head downstairs to the conference room. You really should have checked the list though. It would have prepared you for the shock of seeing a certain someone sitting at the table in a suit that looked all too good on him.

“Zhong Chenle?” You audibly gasped, pausing in your tracks the moment you entered the conference room.

His eyes were already on you as if he knew you’d be the person to walk through that doorway at that exact moment. “That would be me.”

The other new hires looked around at each other sharing all types of glances. Worried, suspicious, surprised, questioning, nothing really all that positive. “Sorry, he’s just an old friend that I was surprised to see,” you quickly explained, trying to pull yourself back together.

Throughout your whole presentation, it was like all the attention in the world was directed at you. Never had you felt this nervous before doing something that was supposed to be so familiar. Every time your eyes glanced over in Chenle’s direction, his gaze managed to catch yours as if he was trying to speak to you without any words.

By the time you adjourned the meeting and sent the new hires off to their respective departments, it felt like you had run a marathon. Your palms were clammy, your legs shaky, your mind racing, and your heart was pounding.

Chenle was the only one left in the conference hall while you pushed in all the chairs and turned off the lights. “Looks like these years have done you well.” He commented, finally able to take in the sight of you now that there was no one else around.

“I could say the same for you.” His shoulder had gotten broader and any childlike features had left his face. He truly looked like he had grown into a man. The dark gray suit he was wearing fit the lines of his body so well, it made you think he could’ve been a model instead of simply becoming an office worker. “So how have you been?”

He did a classic Chenle shrug, “nothing much really. I started off being just a marketing employee, did some work, and got myself to be chief marketing officer. It seems you’ve gotten much further than I have, though. Project development and management?”

“Oh, it’s not anything huge. I just help with planning things out and doing all the paperwork for its execution. I only do interviews and help with hiring when we’re in season, which would be why I’m here right now,” you explained, motioning for him to follow you out of the room. “Your new supervisor is probably wondering where you are. I sent the rest of the newbies a few minutes ago already. I’ll just tell him that you had a few questions about our operations.”

“Wow, cheating the system? That’s not the way I remember you,” Chenle said with mock disapproval. You led him to the elevators, pleasantly surprised to find one still on your floor after you hit the ‘up’ button. Your eyes met with his while you gestured for him to go in. “Ladies first,” he had a cat-like grin on his face as you rolled your eyes and stepped into the elevator.

“So why did you decide to leave your company? Weren’t you going to take it over someday?” You ask over the squeaking of the doors closing.

Chenle leaned against the cold metal wall of the elevator, “I still plan to but I felt like they were just kind of babying me or treating me differently because they knew of my background,” he explained. You could only nod to acknowledge the fact that you were listening. “I told my parents that I wanted to get experience outside of the company and they didn’t really understand at first until I showed them my point of view and how it’s a little worrisome to perhaps, learn how to cook when you always have chefs around you giving you instructions down to the tiniest things.”

The elevator came to a stop and the heavy doors opened onto the floor Chenle would be working on. “But why this company? We’re not even closely related to yours?” You led him down the hallway in the direction of his supervisor's office.

“My parents were the ones who recommended it, actually. It would be a little risky to go to a neighboring one in the case of it being viewed as a betrayal or like some kind of inside mission so they said I should just come back here since I’d probably have a high chance of acceptance-“ you put a hand up to stop him from talking, seeing how many of the other employees had started to look at him due to his volume.

“Chenle, must I remind you that this is an office?” You gritted out, embarrassed in front of your colleagues.

He shook his head before turning to the mass of them, bowing politely then continuing in the same direction as before. Once both of you reached the head office at the end of the hallway, Chenle spoke up once more. “By any chance, are you free tonight?”

“That depends,” you began, “what are you hinting at?”

“Just seeing if you’d like to go out to dinner so we can properly catch up, I guess,” he proposed bashfully.

You hummed in thought, “mmm, put in a good word for me with your supervisor and you’ve got a deal.”

“Deal,” he agreed.

“Meet me in the lobby at 5:30, don’t be late,” you told him before knocking on the wooden door in front of you and allowing Chenle in.

If you like to do whatever you’ve been dreaming about, then baby you’re perfect

You thought Chenle’s wine phase in college would be just that, a phase, but it really wasn’t. He had ordered an expensive bottle of merlot even with all your insistence that you wouldn’t be drinking and even made him promise that he’d be sober enough to drive himself back to wherever his accommodations were.

He made a face of fake dismissal before picking up your last conversation. “So anyway, as I was saying earlier, my parents suggested that I come back here, especially since I got my degree from the university so I’m bound to get in.”

You were about to open your mouth to say something like “getting in is not a guarantee” especially coming from your experience in doing interviews and having to decide which applicants to turn down, but you decided against it.

“Initially, I was a little against it since I didn’t want to come back to somewhere I’ve already stayed at for some time,” he confessed, “but after I did some research on the company and found out that you’re one of the associates, I was a little more open to the idea.”

There was a break of silence while you started to link your thoughts together. “So you came here because you found out that I work here?”

“Yes, but also no,” Chenle stated, blurting the second part out rather quickly when he saw the shift in your expression. “It is true that I wanted to see you and how you were doing but it’s not just that. I figured that if you worked here and had such a high position, it must be a good place to work.”

“But what I’m hearing is…you came here because of me,” you state bluntly though your heart couldn’t help but let out a cheer of delight.

Chenle redirected his gaze at the neighboring tables. “You could say that, sure.”

“Chenle, what do you want out of this? What do you want out of me specifically?” You contended. His eyes continued to flit around the lowly lit space, not daring to meet yours unlike earlier in the conference hall. “What? Did you come back just expecting me to run into your arms? Did you think we would just pick up where we left off?”

Now he looked down at the white tablecloth, as if in shame. “Would it be wrong of me to ask for a second chance?”

You too joined him in staring at the table, wishing that he had answered ‘no’ to your previous questions. “It wouldn’t exactly be wrong, but it’s not right either. I’d be willing to give you a second chance if we agree to not call it that, but rather a promise.”

He finally looked up at you again, his dark pupils catching the dim golden lights above him. “A promise?”

You nodded. “We’re older now, we’re fully grown adults with jobs to do and taxes to pay. We’re no longer the same carefree college students we used to be.”

“Well yeah, obviously-“

“No, listen,” you interject, cutting him off, “we can’t just recklessly play with each other’s minds and feelings like we used to. No more games and no more ‘next times.’ If we try again, I want this to be a promise that we’ll both do better because we can and we want to.”

“If it’s a promise that you want then,” Chenle held out his hand with his pinky finger extended, “it’s a promise I’m willing to make.”

You linked your pinky with his before bringing your thumbs together and sealing the promise. Matching smiles appeared across both of your faces as you stepped into a new chapter of life with Chenle by your side once more.

Sometimes letting go is…perfect. So let’s start right now

103 notes · View notes

blueprint-han · 3 years

Text

at eleven night, find me ↠ hjs.

genre: sorta platonic au? ; fluff, just petting Jisung’s head as he falls asleep on your lap 🥺

⇥ warnings: none at all.

wc: 1.3 K 🤡 (sighs why am I like this)

⇥ disclaimer: this fiction does not aim to represent the activities of the real Han Jisung, nor does it represent JYPE in any form. Events are pure fiction. ♡

type: drabble

network tag: @stayverse @districtninewriters @inkidz

part of: the url drabble game; requested by @sleepylixie (requests for this are closed now!)

↯ note: okay so fair warning, I wrote this in 2 hours at midnight whilst I was sleep deprived, so if it’s bad that’s why. :(( Hops you like it though, and I’m willing to redo it if you didn’t <33 🥺😔🥀 ⇥ dawn.☀️

The annoying rooster that popped out of your antique clock did it’s usual routine at 11 pm, though it was surprising of you to anticipate the loud shrill of the bell when it did so. You weren’t even sleepy, just on edge with wanting to meet your friend after a long time.

You’d admittedly missed Han Jisung, your best friend a lot. His presence every evening beside you, his cute pouty eyes and the way he’d fill his cheeks with food, making him look like the sweetest, cutest squirrel. He wouldn’t let anyone touch his cheeks, but he’d make an exception for you, especially because he’d secretly love it when you’d cup his cheeks and swoon over how adorably red he’d turn when he was shy.

There was no wrong happening that kept the both of you separated this week, just that you were busy with your thesis and he was busy with his music assignments; and overall the week had reduced you to a tired, grubby state. You so desperately wished to just let go, relax and have a fun time — and it was going to happen soon enough, you figured. Han Jisung had every which way of making you laugh, even if he did basically nothing.

How did you meet? It wasn’t a very special entrance, you just found that he sat alone at lunch, decided to approach him, talked to him for two days and viola, best friends. It sounded too good to be true on paper, but something about Jisung just… clicked. You shared mostly the same interests, and even if you didn’t, neither of you were unwilling to try new things. It was one hell of a wild experience to be with Jisung. Or Sungie, as you called him.

The lighting of your room was practically dim — owing to the “cozy” effect you were trying to create. Warm light splayed through the lamp placed on the wooden table — an antique one again, because you were a huge fanatic of antiques. The air smelled oddly of cinnamon and apple pie. Everything was just perfect — now you just needed one person to step through that door.

“Y/N!”

And almost like it was fate, a heavy weight threw itself on your back, scaring the shit out of your senses as you shrieked loudly.

“Agh!... Wha- Jisung!”

You slapped his arm, causing him to recoil in shock as he rubbed the area, a pout on his lips. “What?”

“Couldn’t you’ve rung the doorbell?”

“Couldn’t you’ve remembered to lock the door?” Jisung said, walking around the couch to plop down beside you. He’d changed his hair color, gone from a dirty ash blond to a jet black that complimented his skin tone more according to your preference. You’d had no time to keep up with yourself, let alone Jisung, so you figured you’d missed quite a lot of stuff.

His eyes still sparkled the same way, but his eyebags had gotten more prominent, and he seemed dull, like he’d missed out on days of sleep. Which you were sure he did. His hair fell over his eyes, however, masking how tired he truly was, but you could see through the mask very, very clearly. You also took a moment to admire how pretty he was, because admittedly, Han Jisung was drop dead gorgeous.

You succumbed to the temptation of running your fingers through his hair, strands soft on your skin as Jisung yawned at the action, the sound oh-so-pure and delicate. Tucking them behind his ears, you splayed a gentle smile on your lips as you watched Jisung take your hand in his.

“How was your week, love?” Jisung asked, leaning into the backrest of the couch as his eyes were close to fluttering shut, more because of the way you were running a thumb across the back of his hand.

“It was okay, I guess.” You shrugged, reaching for the glass of water that was on the center table, relief running through you when the cool water rushed through your throat. You didn’t even know you were dehydrated, figuring that you were most likely distracted from Jisung’s arrival. “You look sleepy.” You pointed out as a matter of fact, noticing the way Jisung’s eyes were barely peeking out over his heavy, drooping eyelids.

“Yeah, I had to stay over at the studio a bunch of times so I’m sleep deprived, you could say.” His voice was raspy as sleep threatened to consume him when you reached out, lacing your hand through his hair again. You weren’t quite sleepy yourself, because you tended to be more of the night owl. Jisung looked absolutely ethereal in this lighting, honey caramel skin almost glowing in the faint light, accentuating his features.

It was always a common habit for you to run your hands through his hair and vice versa. You never remembered who picked up the habit, or when you picked it up, but it soon became an addiction to have Jisung’s fingers massaging your scalp slightly. And it was the same for him.

“Hey,” You slid a hand underneath his head, his warm cheek resting against your palm as Jisung opened his eyes only lightly to look up at you. “You’re gonna end up with a sprain if you fall asleep here.”

“But I haven’t talked to you in so long…” He murmured, nuzzling into your touch as he yawned yet again, and your heart fluttered in your chest. In all honesty, you didn’t know if your feelings for Jisung diverged from platonic affection, or if it was just your mind, and honestly, you didn’t really care either.

All you knew was that Jisung was here, you were here, in this moment, together. That was all, and that was enough.

The boy was taken aback for two seconds when you silently pulled him down, letting him rest his head on your lap before he got an idea of what you were implying. Throwing his legs on the couch Jisung snuggled into a warm, comfortable position. One of your hands tangled into his tresses again, while the other one was intertwined with Jisung’s slender, shorter fingers.

“Mmh,” He hummed in content, placing a soft kiss onto your thigh which led you to shiver. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby.” You immediately replied, not an inch of hesitation in your voice.

“Tell me about your week then, love.” Jisung murmured, and you chuckled. Anyone could see how far drifted into sleep he already was, and honestly, a part of you loved how adorable he got when he was sleepy. Sleepy Jisung was more clingy, more whiny, and made your heart swell so much faster — it was almost unreal. He was just plain adorable.

You were tempted to ask him if he’d even stay up to hear the whole story, but nevertheless, you began reciting your hectic week, filled with all the fun memories, the stressful ones, the sad ones, all of them. At times you raised your voice, which jerked Jisung awake, but he’d just hum in content before falling back asleep, which would in turn only make you coo over how cute he was.

Jisung couldn’t help it either, your hands in his hair and your soft hand engulfing his own was admittedly too much for him to keep his eyes open. It was such a soothing feeling, at this place he felt his heart at peace. Relaxed. He could banish any negativity from his mind just by hearing your voice, now.

When you finished, Jisung was huddled into a ball, having fallen into deep slumber as you continued patting his head. The gentle smile that always found itself when Jisung was like this creeped back up to your lips, your eyes fluttering close as you simply took in the delicateness of the moment.

It was almost midnight now, and even though you and Jisung had barely talked, you felt as though you’d communicated for years, simply by hearing each other out. Your friendship wasn’t the kind that could be found anywhere — it had to be made, and a part of it was gifted. It was the best gift, really.

Because when the clock struck eleven night, you knew you could always find him, no matter what.

↯ note: 🕯️ ignore me this is just a small prayer that tumblr doesn’t make me battle the tags yet again 🕯️ may the tumblr gods be in my favor atleast this once ;-; 🕯️ ⇥ dawn.☀️

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mikeisthricedeceased · 3 years

Note

😖 I would like to lather boba in all the love and attention that that man needs and deserves. Just pin him down and smother him in kisses. (This is my prompt😂)

In my brain, Boba has two Doms. One that’s rough, and one that’s soft. It’s officially time for the Soft Dom 🥰

Also, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this, Julia. It’s literally been so long that this originally came in under your old url 🤦‍♀️

“Shower would be faster,” he says, looking down at the steadily filling tub. “Less trouble, too.”

“Being fast isn’t the point, Boba.” You hook the little basket of toiletries onto the side of the tub and put your hands on your hips as you turn to him. “And it’s not any trouble when I am trying to pamper you. Now, please get undressed.” You tilt your head and smirk. “Unless you’d rather have me undress you.”

He chuckles quietly as he undoes an armor fastening. “Now, that’s an idea.”

You laugh, lightly smacking his arm before helping with his armor.

Once he’s down to base layers, you turn your attention back to preparing the bath, pouring subtly sweet tonics into the steaming water and mixing them in by sweeping your hand under the surface a few times. With everything ready, you turn off the water and beckon him closer.

“If I like this too much, it could be dangerous,” he warns. “I’ll start expecting it every time we’re on a planet more temperate than Tatooine.”

You smile up at him from where you’re kneeling next to the bath. “I wouldn’t be opposed if this became a regular thing.”

He tentatively steps over the side of the tub and you see his jaw clench as he tries not to hiss at the heat of the water, the corner of your mouth twitching up in amusement. He does actually make a sound, like a strained grunt, when he’s sinking down to sit and the water hits some more sensitive areas.

“Is it supposed to be this hot?”

“I could ask if they have some ice to pour in with you,” you offer cheekily.

Boba scowls at you as he settles into the bath.

You flash a big grin in return before saying, “You can sit back. That’s what the little pillow is for.”

“Little pillow,” he grumbles under his breath, glancing back at it and shaking his head as he leans back. For a moment, he just sits there, looking straight ahead with an unimpressed expression. He glances over to find you watching him and raises a brow. “Is something supposed to happen?”

“No,” you say, shaking your head with a soft smile. “I just want to make sure you’re settled in before I join you.”

That gets more of a reaction out of him, doubt smoothing into something soft and sly. “Oh? Is that what this is?”

You laugh. “Don’t get your hopes up too much. It’s really just an incentive to keep you from complaining while you’re in here.”

He lets out an offended huff but you catch the upward twitch of his lips as you stand.

Your clothes quickly pile up next to his and then you’re stepping into the water. Pressing your lips together, you sink down into the bath slowly, suddenly worried that the water really is too hot. Throwing a quick glance toward Boba, you find him smirking at you, clearly reading the doubt in your expression.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

His brow arches but the smirk stays. “Like what?”

Humming softly, you narrow your eyes. “You’re just dying to say ‘I told you so.’”

“Wasn’t even thinking it,” he insists.

You ignore his amused tone and finally sit, the heat tingling across your skin. Closing your eyes, you take a moment to soak it all in. When you open them again, already reaching toward the basket of tonics, you find Boba watching you silently, steely dark eyes now soft.

Heat blooms across your face and neck as you look away, grabbing a blue bottle from the basket. You pour some of the deep blue tonic into your cupped palm and scoot closer to Boba.

“What’s that one for?”

“Your head.”

He lets out a low laugh. “I think my hair is a lost cause, cyare.” Regardless, he leans forward a bit so you can spread it over his scalp.

“Hair or not, it helps protect your skin. Too much sun damage can make humans sick.”

“I rarely go out without my armor.”

You make a face. “Are you this contrary when you’re with Zefa?”

He chuckles, reaching out to run his hands down your sides as you work the tonic into a lather. “Worse.”

“No wonder she always wants to spank you,” you grumble.

He flashes a wolfish grin and squeezes your hip.

You go through the motions of rinsing away the suds with an overplush sponge, careful to keep everything away from his face and eyes, touch going featherlight over his scars despite the fact that they’d been fully healed for years.

Warmth blooms in your chest when he relaxes, eyes closing as you work the sponge down his shoulders and add a new soap, something crisp and oceanic.

“I’d missed you,” Boba admits quietly. “Spending time with you, with Zefa…it always takes the edge off.”

You smile cheekily. “We’re very good at getting you pliant.”

He chuckles and tugs you a little closer. “More than that.”

“Did your time with the sarlacc make you this soft?”

His eyes open and focus on you. “Can’t help it when I’m with you.”

You’re so close to one another. It’s hard to see what you’re doing with the sponge when you can’t look away from those deep brown eyes. They’ve gone cozy and molten, drawing you in until the sponge slips out of your hand so you can cup his face and lean that little bit closer.

His lips are warm, the mix of tonics taking over your senses as you trace his jaw with a thumb. You can still taste the lingering spice of the local liquor they’d offered after tonight’s meal. He opens under your mouth and you push him to lean back, the two of you sinking a little further into the tub with his head resting on the little pillow.

By the time you pull away to finish the bath, the water is just shy of lukewarm and the sponge has floated out of reach.

Send me an ask prompt!

@bucketheadredacted <- just to make sure tumblr lets you know

#bucketheadredacted #boba fett #ask prompt #huliabitch

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thisonesatellite · 3 years

Text

GTKY tag game

i was tagged by the incomparable @winterbythesea, who loves scoundrels at least as much as i do. Thank you so much!!!

1. Why did you choose your url?

It's a play on one of my fave songs (and albums) of all time -- Recovering the Satellites - Counting Crows -- which is why i made it my AO3 handle. When i joined tumblr the name was taken, so i made it ThisOneSatellite, which is a nod to that song plus the fact that i usually like to observe more than join things.

2. Any side blogs?

No.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

April 2019.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Yes. It's 'what are q looking at'. 'Cause i'm creative, see.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Because @profdanglaisstuff left a lovely AO3 comment on my second fic and asked if i "was on tumblr". i'd heard of tumblr, kind of, and couldn't quite fathom just what it was, but then i thought, oh hell, just do it.

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for what was to come - i didn't even know what a fandom was. i had No. Idea. But it's been a hell of a ride so far and i'm so glad i decided to go!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i don't have an icon.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Because it's the joke that's made me laugh the loudest, out of all the funny things i've ever found across the interwebs (and there have been many).

Plus i'm a huge fan of Alien and Aliens. Yes, BOTH, don't @ me. No, none of the others, also don't @ me. 😂

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

Apparently it's a oneshot called Nocturne - with 139 notes. (i broke three digits? ME??)

This actually makes me very happy, because i have a soft spot for that fic, and it features absolutely lovely art by the wonderful @captainsjedi.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

i have no idea. (i'm not even 100% sure what a mutual is. Someone you follow who follows you back? Yes? Well, i'm still not sure how many. 😂)

10. How many followers do you have?

216. And they're all fabulous. (155,687,541 if you count porn bots)

11. How many people do you follow?

176

12. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

Sometimes several times a day, sometimes not for several days at all.

13. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

No. Am i doing this wrong? 😂

14. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i have never encountered a post with that message. And i would certainly not be coerced. i am ridiculously impervious to guilt trips.

15. Do you like tag games?

Yes!

16. Do you like ask games?

Also yes!

17. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

Once again, i have no idea. i think i'm definitely not doing this right.

18. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

No. Well, not that i know of. i would know, right? 😂

i have no idea who has done this already, so i'm tagging:

@fragilebeautifulchaos @tiganasummertree @andiirivera @xsajx @spartanguard and @carpedzem because you all gotta know about the "grab a jam" URL. 💖💖💖 (Only if you guys want to do this, obv.)

#thisonesatellite #ask game #asked and answered

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chateautae · 3 years

Text

💌: check in tag <3

thank you for the tags @hantaev @writtenwhalien @namjooningelsewhere @d-btsfanfics @jiminza @taemaknae @kithtaehyung !! I love you all ☺️💓

1. why did you choose your url?

So i loved my old username (jiminssthetic for the newer readers) but I wanted tae in my username because ofc, he's the loml. I wanted taesthetic or something like that but someone had already taken it, so I wanted another chic and classy name with tae because he's got that vibe, and when the wifey @hantaev and I were brainstorming for names with castle or palace in them she thought of chateautae!! and I instantly fell in love with it <3

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them?

Yes!! I've got my fic rec blog @chateaureads !! I made it to show all the lovely authors of tumblr some well deserved love and to keep track of what I read. Check it out lovelies 💓

3. how long have you’ve been on tumblr?

Oof, weighty question. In general, I've been on tumblr for probably 7 years but I turned this blog into a bts/fanfic writing one in November of 2020!

4. do you have a queue tag?

I sure do, it's called "a queue with luv" because of course, boy with luv and I just love spreading love <3

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I'd started reading so much fanfic on here and I used to be a wattpad fanfic writer with a 50+ chaptered novel on there so I thought shit, why don't I try my hand at this tumblr thing? I also wanted to get back into writing after abandoning it for years.

6. why did you choose your icon?

pLEASE do I even need to explain? I adored that look on Taehyung immediately because it's so him, and I loved the salmony, blushy pink colour of the photo which is the theme of my blog!

7. why did you choose your header?

Another case of @hantaev choosing the photo!! I wanted a very floral, whimsical sort of feel to my blog? So I wanted a nice photo of a chateau (for my name ofc) with flowers and she found that photo. Then I used that ethereal photo of the tannies and @kithtaehyung made the header!!

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

I think it's here I come!! Currently it's 4 notes away from 3k? Which is entirely fucking insane for something I wrote on a whim in one night 😭

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I am terrible at keeping track, but I have many I'm very, very grateful for 💓

10. how many followers do you have?

Depends on how bad you wanna know 😌

11. how many people do you follow?

I think 150?? I don't follow many people because I like to keep my timeline curated, but I love finding new people to follow!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I think? I don't quite understand what it is but given how much random shit I post, I would say I have.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

At least once, I love checking in on the asks I get!!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

The only person I fight is @hantaev cause she's a headache of a wife I love too much 🙄

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

For important issues, fuck yeah. For dumb shit, fuck no <3

16. do you like tag games?

Yes!! I always love seeing everyone's answers hehe ☺

17. do you like ask games?

Definitely!! I love seeing people in my ask box 🥺

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Tbh there are so many talented and well-known authors I know and I'm simply glad to even be considered mutuals, fame doesn't matter to me and I'm just glad everyone's getting the recognition and love they deserve on their wonderful stories!!

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

All of them they all have sexy brains 😍

tagging: no clue because I’m terribly late to this already 😭

#tag games #sammy files #about sammy

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justsomeoneunordinary · 3 years

Text

tagged by @warmachinesocks, thank you!!! ♥️♥️

1. why did you choose your url?

bc i'm lazy but also extremely stubborn. didn't wanna think too long abt it, so i just wanted to go with "someone", which was taken already ofc, and then tried all kinds of variations of "anyone, somebody, justsomeone" etc. until one finally worked. could've come up with smth original in the time i spent trying to make "someone" work, but well. i am really stubborn. keeping the url cause everything abt it is me in a nutshell, so it works.

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

nah, i tried it a bunch of times to make one for writing/creations only, but i just don't like it. this is a chaotic mess in one, as it should be.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

eh, 2018? smth like that

4. do you have a queue tag?

i used to have "yippie-queue-yay" as my queue tag back when i still direct reblogged everything and only queued from time to time. since i queue everything now, i don't feel like it makes sense to have a queue tag anymore, so i got rid of it.

5. why did you start your blog in the fist place?

idk, i got a tumblr account to look at fanart and read fics and once i realized how important reblogging is, i actually started a blog and idk. this is what it is now today.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

let's pretend it's still the wanda one and i didn't temporarily change it. bc wanda in her suit is sexy and @shurii was nice enough to edit the colors to fit perfectly with my theme :)

7. why did you choose your header?

bc the trip on the pacaya volcano is my favorite traveling memory and while the lava photos are cooler than this scenery one, i prefer blue&black combo over red&black, and i just really, really like the photo i took

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i don't know for sure, but i think it's my anti endgame rant. i'm too lazy to search it up now tho

9. how many mutuals do you have?

no clue, i'm not gonna go counting now. maybe 20 or so? idk.

10. how many followers do you have?

pick a number you like between 0 and 719'612'338'593'254'726 :)

11. how many people do you follow?

131. some haven't updated in a long while, but i keep following, just in case...

12. have you ever made a shit post?

when don't i?

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

wouldn't you like to know

14. did you have a fight/argument with another lot once? who won?

ngl, it happened once or twice, but usually i just block

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i suddenly cannot read

16. do you like tag games?

sure, they're fun!

17. do you like ask games?

yes!!! i also like it when i even get some asks! :D

18. which of your mutual do you think is tumblr famous?

please, they're all dumbasses

19. do you have a crush on a mutual

nope. they do have on me tho, cause i'm sexy like that 💖

20. tags?

@iam93percentstardust, @rabentochter, @storietellers, @why-the-face, @niinazenik, @vindemiatrix-moonpies and anyone else who wants to do this too! ♥️

#tag game #le me #yes i do think i'm funny thank you <3

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rpbetter · 3 years

Note

Urgh. Okay, full disclosure, I haven't been on tumblr much over the last week or so, because I was one of the people that Raven initially called out after the COAR mess, and it was in the interest of my own mental health to fuck off for a while so I didn't stress myself out into oblivion. So I'm scrolling through most of this stuff for the first time, and talking to other people who were targeted. And pardon my French here, but I'm fucking disgusted at the lengths Raven has gone to assert themselves as a victim, how many people they've affected, and the waving around of something as serious as suicide for brownie points.

I have sympathy for people who overinterpret things in a strictly emotional and mental sense (actual reactions aside) because they lack the maturity. There's always a reason for that, and it's not their fault. And I have sympathy for people if they legitimately feel suicidal. That, too, isn't their fault. If I hadn't been blocked, I would've reported Raven in case their claims were true as well, because yeah, I don't mess around with that stuff either. But what's unacceptable is how Raven acted on those sentiments and behaved towards others, even after people tried to provide perspective. How Raven claimed to be done with the drama, but continued inciting it; how they claimed to be suicidal and had left tumblr, but wrote what amounts to a "fuck you" in their header and were still putzing around on their blog, and were apparently still editing their posts until as late as today; how they claimed to have deleted but only changed the url; how they weaponized all of this stuff and used it as a tool for guilt-tripping. Like, come on. It's okay if you're down in the dumps, but it's not okay to treat innocent people like garbage, and carpet bomb half the RPC. To me, it really feels like there was an intent to weaponize all of their hurt, offense, anger, and suicidal ideations, despite the possibility it did come from somewhere genuine, and that's so harmful to anyone who is actually struggling with depression.

Every time someone weaponizes mental illness in this way, it just makes people more and more apathetic the next time someone is genuinely just hurting, and saying they feel like they're at the end of their rope. And it makes people suspicious of whether those words are being used maliciously, or legitimately. That suspicion and that association is now there, unconscious or not. And every time this kind of stuff happens, the association gets stronger. What happens if Raven does this again? Some people will still report, but some people might just scoff and walk away - people who might've actually acted before. So in a way, that kind of behaviour impacts Raven as much as it impacts other people.

And you know what? They're not the only one dealing with serious shit. I've been suffering from MDD for the last fifteen years, and I've been in the process of changing medications and having little success for months. I've been going through hell offline. I have a shit list of people I want to yell at because they're dragging their feet on really important things I need to function; I'm constantly running a deficit on spoons. Until a week or so ago, roleplay was one of the only ways I could unwind. So for Raven to bully me by sticking that stupid post in my tags, because they needed to make a scene on COAR, which I was obviously going to comment on (like many other people), then to "like" an unsubstantiated callout about me and other innocent people related to that mess, it's only worsened my own mental health. It sounds melodramatic, but really. Someone else mentioned this too, but the fear of being in another callout, and the fear of that first callout somehow exploding, was in the back of my mind all week, despite being away from tumblr. So that was a little anxiety-inducing, much as I tried not to think about it.

And I'm debating whether to return now, or take more time off, and I have no idea what to do. Because that callout post is still in my blog's tag. I'm freaking out because I was planning on approaching some people to roleplay, which is something I rarely ever do, but now I'm concerned that I'll contact someone, they'll look at my tag to get an idea of my writing/partners/who I am, and see the callout post, and immediately dismiss me because even seeing the word "callout" on its own will send up red flags, by unconscious association with more impactful drama. And as long as that callout is up, these fears are going to be there.

That's just not fair.

And Raven's "apology" is completely unacceptable. Like you and others said, it doesn't reach anyone who needs to hear it, because they've all been blocked. I would fucking love an apology if it came from a place of honesty, but am I going to receive one? Probably not. And even for the followers who can still see that apology, it doesn't address anything. It isn't directed to anyone in particular. It doesn't mention the specific behaviours that were wrong on their part. And miss me with the "my intentions were good" part. No, they weren't; going around blocks and sticking shit in peoples' tags is vindictive and entirely intentional in all the worst ways, and shame on them for pretending otherwise, and by leading with such a poor example for many roleplayers, some of whom are in their teens. One of the people who tried to message Raven (they, too, were called out on Raven's blog) was speaking to a nineteen-year old who was completely clueless about the extent of the manipulation Raven was pulling. They thought all of it was normal and acceptable behaviour. That genuinely terrifies me. And while I imagine if Raven was genuinely apologetic, they would've gone to the callout blog and ask them to delete the callout post (attempt it, at the very least), somehow, I don't think that would've happened given all of their prior actions. God forbid something else is going on there.

Phew. Yeah, I'm angry. Maybe I'm just biased and tired. But honestly, I have a right to be. Raven's apology is a handwave, and they know it. It's a slap in the face to me, to you, and to everyone else who was involved in this clusterfuck. They're not the center of the universe. They affected real people, with real problems of their own. Anyways, I am so sorry for this, argh. Really had to get this out, and I didn't want to dump it on discord or somewhere else; I sure as heck didn't want to go to COAR with it. But hey, maybe people here will feel less alone if I added my own account to the mix. The more, the merrier? In a sense, anyways. Sometimes if you feel like you've been singled out, it's nice to know you're not actually the only person it's happened to.

Sorry for saving your reply for last, Anon. It's such an important one, I wanted to be properly thoughtful!

I think that it is going to make some people feel less alone, and there is always some relief in sharing one's trials. That might be especially true when one has been unable to share them anywhere else. It's not like you can address this on your own blog right now, COAR is definitely not a safe place to do so, it's a very isolating feeling that is made worse for having done nothing.

Coming back and being required to wade through this shit was really damn disgusting to me as well, but at least in my case, I had neither been obliged to distance myself for the sake of mental health nor was I treated to the sickening display of drumming up ideas of victimization from someone who victimized me. What I experienced was just incredulity and disgust, I cannot imagine how incensing this must be for you, I am so very sorry. If it makes me angry having a degree of removal and watching in it real time? What you're experiencing...there really isn't a single word to adequately encapsulate that, I'm sure.

You've still expressed so many of the things I've thought and felt. I found all that initial behavior uncalled for, shameful, yet another display of what's actually wrong in the RPC, but it was increasingly upsetting to me the more I looked into it because it did feel a little (a lot) too reminiscent of the sort of bullying experienced in person. It's really something else to be viciously picked at by someone who keeps upping the game until such point as it begins to cause them trouble, then get to be painted the wrongdoer and punished in some way for it because they're presenting as a sympathetic victim. A more sympathetic victim than you, that's really what I mean, I'm just going to say it.

And that was already in swing by the time I got from the launch point to the smoking crater of then current events. I got to Raven's again after bouncing back and forth between their interactions with others, largely from COAR, yes, and the shit on the callout blog...to see...everyone else being blamed in increasingly drastic ways.

Because on tumblr, unlike reality, if you throw out enough times ahead of time that you have disorders people can get behind, you're more sympathetic, not less. So long as one has set that foundation and has others to broadcast it once convenient, any horrible action one undertakes is given a pass. Anyone disagreeing, anyone not tolerating the abuse, is in the wrong now. In the worst possible way, of course.

This whole thing began with incredibly unnecessary bullshit and every, I mean fucking every, further action taken was a new level of fucked up, but the trivializing of and damage done to the perception of mental health and differences is quite possibly the worst. Are those things that need any more of that? It's already such a problem! I already see suspicion and fatigue with this, every time it's given validation, it grows.

Even if I wasn't mentally ill, with one of the disorders that gets vilified even on tumblr, even if I were not autistic, even if I never knew a single person who suffered worse than I do from the the complications they won by way of being born, hadn't anyone I loved that took their lives, this would be extremely upsetting to me. Using the idea that "whatever I do, it's got to be acceptable because I am X" while not caring that anyone else is X, Y, and/or Z. Weaponizing it for bullying and sympathy simultaneously. Way too much. Incredibly gross and harmful, legitimately fucking problematic.

I want people to be taken seriously when they choose to speak of the boundaries their mental health requires, I want muns to be able to say that they are having a difficult time without it coming off (even to the rest of us with mental health conditions) as a ploy for attention/guilting for whatever action they desire be taken by partners, and I want people to take threats of oncoming, serious harm seriously. How are they to do this, when it is continually used as tool or weaponized against others? At very best, it becomes another thing to ignore and scroll by on the dash.

As we've all had the misfortune to experience or witness so recently, once it is weaponized, it's a problem of priority. I've said in damn near every message I've gotten that Raven isn't the only person involved here who has serious shit going on, but like the absurdity with trying to spin an accident as transphobia, or having the audacity to attempt speaking from a place of peace in a way that might benefit everyone, Raven included, resulting in a callout about being against ND people...it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter that any of us are neurodivergent, have serious chronic mental health complications, or are not cisgender. Raven was swinging that around like a flaming sword to drive off bigots real and imagined before we ever got their attention.

Attention they fucking asked for.

Reblogging that post from COAR was just like posting those rules. The intention was to get attention, and it was asked for with extreme hostility. I have no idea how that is coming off to anyone as simply them defending themselves. It was a great moment to either not out themselves as the person in the confession at all, not engage with it, quietly remove the post, or to reblog it and take responsibility in a meaningful way at that point. Can you imagine what a difference that would have made then? If Raven had chosen instead to reblog it and apologize for doing what they had. Just that. No shitty, snide little comments about how they're sorry, but still absolutely correct and here are five reasons why everything they've misconstrued won't be tolerated. Just an acknowledgment of wrongdoing, an apology for doing so, and awareness gained moving forward.

Their decision to interact with that post in the way they did wasn't just more of the same nonsense, it was actively upping the game. I don't really care if it was intentional bait or just continuing to let malicious impulse run free, it was used as bait. Everyone who interacted with that post was effectively consigning themselves to harassment, and if they happened to interact on literally any other topic that group held a passionately opposing opinion on, they were attacked for it. Curiously, it became necessary for them to be harassed by way of the callout blog, but that is getting a little close to off-topic, so, I'll leave it at that.

So, while I initially really wanted to have the appeal to Raven work because their expressions of regret that I was greatly on the fence about being genuine, I'd say those flags were accurate. I cannot believe that someone who took every opportunity to do the wrong thing is genuinely sorry. Sorry for themselves, absolutely, sorry for anything they did, not so much. This constant narrative I got of "they SAID they were sorry" and "they apologized again and again and took the posts down," including from Raven, is incredible. On that last one, they, yet again, couldn't actually address me.

Appropriate response: messaging me or reblogging that post (you know, the rules snippet I found right the hell there still, despite the claim of it being deleted and the final catalyst of me needing to say something after I saw that, nope, surely was not) with the acknowledgment of a single thing I said.

Extra appropriate response: ^ plus going to everyone who could still be located that they harmed with a genuine, individual, private apology.

Inappropriate response that was had: new post, shitty, childish tone like they at once wanted to argue with me and didn't want to drop the act, restating of this apology that had already been deleted and meant exactly shit while it existed, restating of how they deleted this post and couldn't control reblogs, ignoring that I literally reblogged the original copy from their blog.

Apology neither believed nor accepted. Just as it wouldn't be if my nephew came to my house, broke a bunch of my things, said he was sorry while throwing the pieces at my pet, then threw himself on the floor screaming that he said he was sorry when I told him to go have a time out.

(Yes, I absolutely did just make a comparison to a child, y'all can shit yourselves again. It's not my problem if you want to misconstrue "this person's actions are not befitting of an adult" as "Vespertine said autistic people are children!" Fucking miss me with that. I'm an autistic adult who pays my bills, apologizes, doesn't treat people like shit while trying to excuse it by being ND. You're offensive with that shit, and contributing to the negative perception people have of those on the spectrum. Be a good ally today! Don't valid that! Free ninety-nine offer!)

Again, sorry for yourself does not equal being sorry for what you've done. The former can contribute to the development of the latter, but as I said in a response yesterday, there has been no display of that beginning to transpire. I genuinely hope that will eventually be the case because that would be the best outcome, the only "best" outcome at this point. Even if it was two years from now, if it did happen, I certainly would not be kind to people refusing them any such growth in peace, and I hope that, by some distant chance, I get to prove that.

But...stating "my intentions were good" over any part of this is not remotely promising. When? Where? At what point? Oh, right, when you took it upon yourself to label a random mun you took issue with. That's when your intentions were good. Then, when you vehemently needed to defend that point by callouts and individual attacks under the guise of it definitely not being about your pride, no! It was the defense of everyone else! Defending the community by carpet-bombing it, yes. This is not a "the path to Hell is paved with good intentions" situation.

I am so disturbed about the nineteen-year-old mun, my god. I'm telling y'all, my anger and disgust almost reach what I think is a pinnacle, then there's something new like this.

I don't even subscribe to tumblr's ideology that anyone under twenty-five is an actual infant who needs be kept in a protective bubble and forgiven for all bad behavior with infinite kindness, nineteen-year-olds deserve the agency of the adultier adults they are becoming, but it is a transitional age. Especially today. Most socialization and formative ideas take place online, and by the time younger RPers are entering the adult sphere of RP here, they've already got some really unhealthy ideas. About themselves, about others. There is such a demand for rabidly performative action that gets internalized, it shouldn't be being heartily fed by people in the community they might look up to.

At that age, someone like Raven is going to be a person looked up to. They espouse all the right ideas, and it's an age in which aggressive interaction over those things is seen as amusing and correct, no matter how wrong the actions taken are or the basis upon which they are founded. When these people foster an environment of cruelty for questioning, of course, that is not going to be the natural response. The response is now going to be the requirement of being told otherwise with adequate proof.

I have suspected that many of the hateful anons I've gotten were from Raven's even younger followers who feel like it's normal, acceptable, and that everything they're being told by Raven's sales team over at the callout blog is absolutely true. Of course, they're now morally obligated to come harass me for the things they were told I did! I think it's likely that several of the anons people got were from actual minors, which is so many levels of scary and irresponsible. Really great example all around, yes!

Because whether it is one's intention or not, that is potentially exposing minors, or muns who are still close enough to be more negatively impacted, to who even knows what. As well as violating the rules of blogs who do not interact with minors for good reason, setting those blogs up for yet another callout for treating someone they didn't know was a minor the way they did or having "freak shit" on their blog. Setting up the other party to be treated with full hostility as an adult would be. Very cool, very responsible.

There is just so much here that is unacceptable, I don't think people who were not directly impacted or have never had a callout against them understand the results, and that is one more unacceptable thing you've been good enough to talk about.

Even while taking a break from the RPC, it affects you negatively. Wondering what you're coming back to, your blog is no longer a safe feeling space, and there's nothing you can do to "cultivate your blog" to change that. They've taken away the ability to simply block and avoid others, the thing that keeps all of us comfortable here as well as allowing that to be all of us no matter how disagreeable we might be to each other. Callouts negate adult behavior. Callouts mean that one doesn't know where more potential for harassment might be coming from, or how long we might have to be worried about that.

It would be a major concern for me as well about what putting myself out there to new writing partners might bring. What the success of that might be. It's incredibly unfair that they've made finding new people precarious and more unpleasant than it can be anyway. That puts all of the future of your RP here in question, and if you're like me, just dropping a muse, picking up another, and moving to a new URL isn't going to be a good choice for you. It isn't that simple if you dedicate time to a muse for a long period of time, when that's the case, that's the RP you want to do and have laid the groundwork for.

I don't know if it will help at all, but it has seemed to me, over the past several days, that there are fewer people in the RPC who are inclined to believe or support callouts than there once was. I was hoping that was the case, since there is always so much interaction on my posts against callout culture, but until this crap went down, I had no idea just how many people are not positive toward it. It has seemed to be that the people who are inclined to listen to callouts are just louder.

I've also noticed that those people have the same set of red flags, so maybe sharing that will help you or others?

They don't have simple, basic, reasonable Do Not Interacts. It isn't simply asking that minors don't interact because the mun is over eighteen, that muns writing a triggering topic not interact, or that sort of thing. No, it's URL dropping of specific muns, outright links to callouts or "receipts," and an accusatory tone about any topics or types of muns who shouldn't interact. Such as "nasty ass proshippers" or "pedo apologists shipping incest."

Their rules are reflective this as well. A statement cannot be made that they do not write, let's say, toxic ships and left at that. There will be some morality wank present about normalizing or romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

There are less assured flags, but literally, anything that stands out as an interest in RPC or fandom-based activism as opposed to an interest in writing, their muses, or even their friendships with a variety of muns. I don't mean a rounded-out interest in things, I really do mean a glaring predominance of buzzword-laden reblogs and PSA's while they've not written a reply, headcanon, or answered a meme in months.

I'm not saying any of that because I feel like you, or anyone else's, judgment is terrible or that you're oblivious to warning signs! It's just that when we've experienced bad situations, it can compromise our ability to see clearly. It becomes easy to see a potential threat everywhere, and maybe that seems contrary, but it's then easy to fail to see real threats from those we're blowing up. We question whether we're being just as judgmental as the people who wronged us, putting words in other muns' mouths and thoughts in place of their own as was done to us. While we still are afraid to be wrong in giving someone an in to ruining our time again.

So, please, don't feel like I'm questioning your intelligence or speaking from a place of ultimate knowledge, never making mistakes in such a choice! I just really hate that you, and many others, are going through this, and anything at all that I can think of that might help you move forward from this utter bullshit you've been through, I've got to try to grab it.

Because, Anon, like all those sharing their experiences these last few days, you sound like the kind of mun we need in the RPC.

You're someone willing to share with others for the benefit of others. You're being honest about your feelings of anger and even the hopeless sensation of whether it's even worth it to try to return, having your progress on and offline stomped on, while still maintaining a sort of fairness and calm that I know is not easy. Because that's the mature thing to do, it's the right thing, and unfortunately, those are usually the harder things to do as well.

You did the right thing in expressing your opinion and doing what people like Raven's group love to be on about, can only do through bullying: not tolerating it. I'd hate for the RPC to lose someone like you!

Just as your message matters to more people out there than myself, I have no doubt that your choice to not quietly allow this behavior mattered to more muns than you'll ever know. I'm sure that none of them would have wanted this result for you, but so many muns have experienced such toxic, bullying behavior over the years in which not a soul spoke up.

Many of you proved something very important with challenging Raven and the callouts blog, that unlike them, it isn't necessary for good people to even know each other to do the right thing. They have to dogpile and engage in cliquish behavior, what they do isn't coming from a place of inner ethics and strength, but what you all did? It's the opposite.

So, not only do I thank you again for sharing and providing the important support of simply not being alone to others, I thank you for being the example to the RPC that people dealing in callouts and generalized shaming cannot be, no matter their platform.

I hope that, whether you choose to remain, leave, or take a very long break, everything you've been dealing with starts to look up. I know it's easy to say things made hollow for their repetition and flippant use, like telling you not to let them win, or that their bullshit just isn't that important. So, I'm not going to say them.

It doesn't work that way when you're dealing with mental health concerns! You can logically know that this is just petty bullshit not worth being run out of something important to you, but that doesn't stop the worry, frustration, or depression. You can have all the determination in the world to hang in there, even the spite to back it up, but neither is a match for the things you cannot control coming from your brain. That is the cruelty of mental illness on the very best of days.

You have all of my respect, support, and genuine sympathy that this happened to you. No one should be allowed to continually and unapologetically go out of their way to throw a wrench into someone's hard-won progress. You did nothing to deserve this, and the people out there worth interacting with are going to be the same ones who will have no question of that.

Lastly, I also hope that some of the anons sharing their experiences have helped you feel less alone, or like you're not just irrationally upset. Please know that you're seen and supported as well! And that you are always welcome to talk more, vent, share successes here.

Thank you, Anon.

#vespertine #answered #anonymous #long post #drama cw #rp harassment #callout culture

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bard-llama · 3 years

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Tagged by @potentialyeti

1. Why did you choose your url?

When I first joined tumblr back in like 2012ish, I think my name was just llama or something similar. But then... well, let’s call it a stalker incident. They found my tumblr, so I changed my name to something entirely non-llama-related. But years have passed now and when I started writing for the Witcher, it made sense to change my name. Llama alone was taken, but I do like to think of myself as a bard storyteller, so...

And yes, my name is actually Llama. For realsies. I even use it professionally. (Unfortunately, all I deal with lately is medical shit and that all uses my legal deadname and I don’t hate it, but my name is Llama. It just is.)

2. Any side blogs?

Yes, but honestly, I think I might let it die, ‘cause I originally made it to share nsfw stories, ‘cause I was embarrassed to have it on my main tumblr, but in the year and change since I started writing porn, I have come to be absolutely shameless, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ now everything is shared on this blog, because keeping track of multiple is hard and also, if you have a problem with me linking to my porn, that’s a you issue.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

TBH time is absolutely meaningless to me, but I think around 2011-2012. I remember first using tumblr in college (started fall 2011 and finished fall 2013, so limited time window), but I also remember stopping using it because I had such limited free time and tumblr time was time that could be spent reading fanfiction. ‘cause for some reason in college/right after college (?), I stopped writing for like a decade and I don’t even remember why.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Pfft no. The only reason I queue things is if I think I’ve been reblogging too many things in a row lol

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

Uh... actually, I’m 90% certain that @slashlett and @shiarempress and @professorpineapple made my blog originally because I wasn’t interested in doing so and everyone else had one. They also made my profile and I think there was an awful picture of Benedender Cumberpatch for a while??? Idk, it’s been a long time.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

IT’S A LLAMA!! Actually, it’s a llama specifically from a picture of me at a llama farm many years ago. And this llama wanted to be fabulous, so now they’re fabulously me.

7. Why did you choose your header?

Oh okay, so at my work, I am co-facilitator of our LGBTQIA+ Staff Resource Group. And last Nov/Dec I was all “I miss my bros and since we couldn’t gather in person at all during the year, I wanna do something for them.” So, while stuck in a Discount Tire waiting room, I made Rainbow Nametags for everyone. And I liked mine so much, I made it my header.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I can’t even figure out how to find this out, so uh.... i am really bad at social media

9. How many mutuals do you have?

I also do not know how to find this oops. But apparently I’m following 442 people? so like... idk, 20 of those? Who knows.

10. How many followers do you have?

Oh hey, apparently 414. Cool. I... absolutely knew where to find that number before this very moment.

11. How many people do you follow?

Oh lol already answered. 442. And even still, sometimes there are not enough new posts on my dash :(

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

I... do not know?

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

I mean, at the moment, I’m on medical leave from work, so all I do is write and procrastinate on unpacking. So I’m on tumblr a lot to chat with some lovely mutuals and sometimes to avoid writing lol

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

I don’t think so? That just sounds exhausting. Although, I guess there was a little bit of idiocy/drama right after my dad died when assholes tried to fuck with the lovely mods of the Eskel Big Bang. I vaguely remember spending a day not thinking about my dad and just fucking answering every anon.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I don’t need to do shit. There are a lotta reasons people don’t reblog something, up to and including “I didn’t feel like it”, so like, whether or not you reblogged as a sign of your morality is... really fucking stupid.

16. Do you like tag games?

Sure! I like interacting with any of you at all!

17. Do you like ask games?

Hell yeah! Esp ones about my fics.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I still don’t know how to tell if someone is a mutual? So uh... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have been reliably informed that what I think is a crush (”omg this person is so cool, I wanna hang out and learn from them”) is uh... not actually what a crush is. (”omg I wanna bone them”???? Apparently??? Or “I wanna date them”???) Idk I’m just a dumb aroace llama with no idea what romance actually is. There’s a reason I use trust as a proxy for romance in my fics.

Tags

Well, I already got 3 of you tagged earlier, so I guess I’ll add @chaoticmel, @zzzett, @useless-empty-brain, @kalikatze and anyone else interested!

#ask game #me

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intermundia · 3 years

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@sonderwalker thank you so much for the tag :)

1. Why did you choose your url? i was a pretentious baby classicist studying epicurean philosophy and i'm pretty sure the greek equivalent term metakosmia was taken by another blog so i was like fuck it i'll use the latin term. and it hasn't changed since

2. Any side blogs? ya ya ya i do have farm-tm for video/pictures from my farm. i need to update it more

3. How long have you been on tumblr? oh god. well i had a tumblr from 2009-2012, had a mental breakdown, deleted, and then remade my current blog apparently in april of 2013. i remember when they introduced tumblarity, if you want to know how ancient i am lol

4. Do you have a queue tag? ha ha ha ha ha no

5. Why did you start your blog? it was a very long time ago, very very long. i know i have always reblogged a combination of aesthetic posts and fandom things, but i also do know that i used tumblr for thinspo and learned how to have an ed from pro ana blogs, which was a large part of why i deleted

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp? i saw a fanart of anakin and obi-wan in the style of this famous art of achilles bandaging patroclus, and it was hugely inspirational in getting me to start writing. so using this icon is a combo of obikin + classics, plus patroclus has his whole dick out which is amusing to me

7. Why did you choose your header? @ms-gallows drew this incredible and perfect art of obi-wan clutching anakin with a black background, saying dialogue that i had already planned for ch.22 of LT, and it blew my mind. it's literally an illustration of the climax of my novel hahah i'm so grateful she lets me use it

8. What post of yours has the most notes? oh god it's probably the 'anakin anakin anakin' video

9. How many mutuals do you have? how tf are we supposed to check this hahahah

10. How many followers do you have? so many bots oh my god

11. How many blogs do you follow? more than 500 i think but this blog is from 2013 and i am pretty sure most are inactive

12. Have you ever made a shit post? arguable

13. How often do you use Tumblr a day? i mean i always be on that phone

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog? eeeeeeh yeah. one time i got mad about an ableist post that was in the obi-wan kenobi tag and the algo kept showing it to me and i had the poor judgement to start something. that's the only time i've instigated, apparently there are some folks out there who find my interests and hobbies immoral and problematic, but i try to ignore that stuff and move on

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts? if this about those posts that say you have to reblog or you're a terrible person for not caring about x horrific world event or y social justice cause, i don't like them because.. i come to tumblr for fandom and to escape reality, i get my news elsewhere lol and don't like emotional manipulations if this is about those posts that say you have to reblog not just like art or content creators will stop creating i support it because reblogs are essential for supporting content creators, people shouldn't be passive content consumers on this site, it's not instagram u kno?

16. Do you like tag games? i do, i just have the memory of a goldfish and always mean to come back and do them and just forget lol. i love being tagged!! i guess i don't like when posts get incredibly long on my dash though, so i prefer it when people don't add on to superrr long posts but make their own.

17. Do you like ask games? i doooooo, again with the memory of a goldfish and just the lack of time but if i ask for asks it makes me so so so happy when people indulge me hahah

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? this is one of those 'before pandemic i was a prequel fan who nobody followed bc i didn't create or participate in fandom yet' and then when i started sharing work, many of them followed me back which made me go 🤯 and realize that fandom is actually a community of friends, not content creators/audience, you know?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual? i mean “crush” is strong but i absolutely do get extra excited when a couple different people interact with my content who has not been tagged in this? i always feel like i am the last person to getting around to doing it. open invite to anyone who wants to and tag me if you do so I can read it 😊

#tag games #yes im procrastinating on a thing i do for fun #namely writing #hobby.. hard #tw: ed mention #long post

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recordmcqueen · 4 years

Text

Kay so im gonna start by saying that tumblr mobile is boiled and doing this kinda thing on my phone is a Pain but my moms still asleep n she hasnt taken out my laptop yet so i make do with what i got ig

Secondly, context: so a while ago ashton posted about how ppl tryna cancel brendon urie is dumb and i mean i would agree without even knowing the context bc cancel culture IS dumb gdi but anyway i shot an anon asking like "yooo wassup" n he wouldn't say much aside from "yknow the usual CC argument" blabla im paraphrasing anyway i left it at that uNTIL someone i followed reblogged this post like "if u support brendon urie gtf away from me ugh" and i was like...wot so yknow i asked "what he do" n op replied with a Link to a Thread so being the curious cat i am i went for it

Side note that if u dont know by know, twitter.com and i are Not on very good terms ahahaha thats an understatement but in any case reminder that tumblr mobile is boiled and tumblr replies do not support hyperlinks so i mf typed this entire url out on my keyboard to get to Le Thread which was also ON TWITTER a place that i Prefer to Avoid Whenever Possible anyway all this considered i was expecting some Real Tea yknow?

Instead, i got...this list of, er, "receipts" proving that brendon is, uh, Problematic(TM)

Tbh im actually starting to question the...purpose? Of cancel culture? I understand the issue with JKR because shes in a position of influence and shes actively spreading propaganda against an already marginalized population so ofc the Objective here is to get ppl to Stop Listening to Her ie Take Away the Microphone so she cant spread any more of this bs and keep hurting trans people

But thats an extreme case and while i do think ppl should stop listening to her, i think the more important thing is to Acknowledge the Issues at hand Instead of Focussing on the person behind them. Whats a bigger issue, one writer who peaked in the early 2000s and hasnt been taken seriously since at least 2017, or the genuinely pervasive social institutions of racism, transphobia, etc. Im not saying we should let jkr off the hook im just saying this is less of a "JKR IS PROBLEMATIC!!!" and more of a "JKR is in an influential position enabling her to spread toxic ideology to impressionable minds and thats not good"

After all, no one is perfect. Ik it sounds cliche but honestly if i was Up There n in the public eye where people Care then heck id be canceled 360° within a week tbh. I'm still trying but literally no one Doesnt make mistakes and Hasnt done crappy things at Some point in their life WHAT MATTERS IS THAT THEYRE NOT DOING CRAPPY THINGS RIGHT NOW AND REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT IT'S WRONG

like what are you fundamentally trying to prove i dont understand?? expose their past mistakes?? call them out for being flawed and Human?? MISTAKES ARE NATURAL - ITS HOW YOU REACT TO BEING CALLED OUT FOR EM THAT TRULY DEFINES YOUR SO-CALLED “PROBLEMATIC”-NESS GDI

the fatal flaw of cancel culture is to hold people to unreasonable standards n put em up on pedestals where theyre expected to be nothing short of Perfect in past and in present and that?? is toxic?? as hell??? its genuinely sickening to imagine these people with too much time on their hands digging through actual deleted posts and videos just to collect dirt on people so they can present the sum of their sins and mark them as irredeemably evil. bro im terrified of fame n i pity celebs cause they just cant catch a break can they??

if youre going out of your way to dig up dirt on celebs from Years ago (one of those links was from 2011,,,) just to expose their mistakes? people change and the thing cancel culture refuses to acknowledge is that Yes People Change!! they Can and they Do!! so why why Whyyyy are you treating them as though one distasteful joke from half a decade ago is a permanent marker of their personality. gee i sure hope they apologized for it in any case, but yall fr need to get a life

#allya squawks #this ended up super incoherent bc i got distracted hhhh #ah whatever

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virtuallytakenby · 4 years

Note

Hmm, odd numbers babe!!

Thanks for asking hun :D

1: Full name

Hmm, I’m not ready to answer that just yet. You can call me Pari though :)

3: 3 Fears

Dying before I do anything meaningful in life/dying too young, insects and losing loved ones.

5: 4 turns on

Eye contact, good personality, voice (like Raleigh Carrera’s, haha), neck kisses.

7: My best friend

I have 3 best friends who know different things about me lol. I’m too scared to trust one person entirely. Plus these three don’t talk to each other since they’re not close or even in the same country.

9: My best first date

I’ve never had a date despite being in a relationship for 2 years. We were both in boarding school.

11: What do I miss

I miss living with my roomies in boarding school. It was a strict school but we had fun breaking rules and not getting caught. Like sneaking in junk food from outside, etc.

13: Favourite color

Blue and Green

15: Favourite quote

“Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” — Lilo & Stitch

17: Favourite food

Veg Enchiladas from this restaurant near my apartment.

19: What am I listening to right now

Flames by Zayn and R3HAB

21: Shoe size

23: Hair color

A mix of dark and light brown (natural)

25: Ever done a prank call?

YES

27: Meaning behind my URL

It means exactly what it says. Virtually taken by [so many fictional characters] ;)

29: Favourite song

Icarus Falls album by Zayn. I can’t choose one!

31: How I feel right now

Sleepy.

33: My current relationship status

Single (been single for almost 3 years)

35: Favourite holiday

Songkran Holiday in Thailand. It’s like a water festival.

37: Tattoos and piercing I want

I want a tattoo of Stitch with the Ohana quote. A few more probably but not sure what (I have no tattoos at the moment). I already have 6 ear piercings (4 in the right ear and 2 in the left) so I want an industrial piercing in my left one day.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I used to hate him. I think he probably did too cause I broke up with him. But he apologized to me a couple months back after asking what went wrong. I forgave him, but I still don’t like him. The hatred is gone though. I’m pretty sure he doesn't hate me.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

Nope.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 to 40 mins tops (includes shower and shampooing, getting dressed, light make up, packing my bag for uni).

45: Where am I right now?

In my room.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

I like it loud when I want to drown everyone out. Which is most of the time.

49: Am I excited for anything?

I don’t know. It’s more like excited/nervous about my future.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Too often.

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I’d probably turn away or something. Not because it’d hurt me, but because I don’t want to be staring at them.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

Crappy singing (by my sister)

57: What do I think about most?

My senior thesis for college. My senior year is still 9 months away but I’m already thinking that I’ll direct a short film for my thesis.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

I don’t think so? I’m afraid of swimming in a water body with fishes (I’d prefer the swimming pool). So I’m not exactly scared of fishes per se, it’s more like scared of swimming with the fishes.

61: What was the last lie I told?

That I had a subway sandwich when I actually had McDonald’s fries with cheese dip.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I don’t believe in ghosts. Maybe aliens but gosh I need a solid sign that they exist.

65: Do I believe in luck?

Sometimes.

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Supernova by Marissa Meyers.

69: Do I have any nicknames?

I do. A lot of people can’t pronounce my real name so I have many variations of my name.

71: Do I spend money or save it?

I save it usually. But I do spend on food.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

Yep.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching YOU season 2

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

I honestly have no idea.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

I’ll probably be burned and my ashes scattered.

81: My top 5 blogs on Tumblr

I’m new so I don’t know a lot of people. But here are the ones I scroll through @dailydoseofchoices @oneemofungirl @kayden-vescovi @meindraws

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope.

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid, to tell the truth on?

Hmm, I don’t know. I’d be afraid of my family finding out that I even had a boyfriend.

87: Had sex?

Nope. Glad I didn’t with my ex (not that we could in boarding school anyway. It was hard enough to make out). He’s asked me towards the end of our two-year relationship and I said no.

89: Gotten pregnant?

Nope, still a virgin. And I doubt Jane the virgin scenario would happen to me.

91: Kissed a boy?

Yep.

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

Nope.

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes, once. I freaked out.

97: Had sex in public?

Still a virgin.

99: Smoked weed?

Nah. I stay far faaaaar away from it.

101: Smoked cigarettes?

Never. Nor do I want to try.

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Yes, I’m vegetarian. It’s a choice. My dad eats non-veg, but I never acquired a taste for it. I do eat eggs though.

105: Been underweight?

No.

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Yes!

109: Been outside my home country?

Yes. I’ve been to Singapore, Hong Kong, and a few places in the U.S. And I live in Thailand.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

I went to a tennis match in the 8th or 9th grade.

113: Cut myself?

Accidentally? Many time. I’m clumsy AF. Purposely? Once.

115: Been on an airplane?

Many times!

117: What concerts have I been to?

Sadly, none.

119: Learned another language?

I can speak 3 languages fluently, including English (which is my 3rd language) and I know basic Thai. I used to be fluent in Thai as a kid but I forgot most of it in boarding school.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

Still a vIrGin.

123: Dyed my hair?

I’ve highlighted it gold before. Just a few stripes.

125: Rode in an ambulance?

Nope.

127: Met someone famous?

Once, yes. I don’t remember who. I was an 8-year-old kid or something.

129: Peed outside?

As a kid, yep.

131: Helped with charity?

I’ve been to old age homes to give away some supplies and money.

133: Broken a mirror?

Cracked it a little. Not on purpose.

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

2 to 3? I’m not sure of the names yet.

137: Do I like my handwriting?

Nah, it’s messy AF. It also keeps changing LOL.

139: Favourite Tv Show?

The 100, Orphan Black, Full house, Fuller House, Arrowverse shows, etc. SO MANY.

141: Play any musical instrument?

I can play a little bit of the following (I learned in school but never kept up with it): recorder, keyboard, violin, xylophone, harmonium, sitar.

143: Favourite pizza topping?

CHEEEEEEESE.

145: Am I afraid of heights?

Nope.

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

A lot of times.

149: What my greatest achievements are

It’s yet to come.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

pay off loans, pay for tuition, save whatever’s left for emergencies.

153: My closest Tumblr friend

@dailydoseofchoices

155: Any question you’d like?

I don’t know haha.

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welt-verbessererin · 5 years

Text

Tagged by @thereluctantbadger thanks mate!

(I'm a Ravenclaw btw 😁 with Hufflepuff a close second)

ONE / name / alias: Laura / weltverbessererin

TWO / birthday: February 18th

THREE / zodiac sign: Aquarius ♒

FOUR / height: 5'9''

FIVE / hobbies: reading, watching movies and TV shows, going on walks/hikes with my dog, dancing around my room naked and singing loudly, cooking with friends, my kids drama group.

SIX / favorite colors: green

SEVEN / favorite books: Splitterherz trilogy, Dark Canopy, Faunblut, After series, the martian, the fifth wave, Macht by Karen Duve, Euphoria by Lily King

EIGHT / last song listened to: not sure, we have a radio on at work permanently so something from there. Stuck in my head for days have been Edge of Seventeen & Another One Bites the Dust.

NINE / last film watched: Bohemian Rhapsody is the one I consciously remember.

TEN / inspiration for muse: a combination of other people's stories, tumblr prompts and my own wild mind going 100 mph.

ELEVEN / dream job: editor.

Over the last couple of years I realized that I'm way better at working with what's already there than writing my own texts. And I love it, too! And I dare say I'm good at it as well. My best friend wouldn't have passed her BA thesis if I hadn't taken two days to work on it with her (but you didn't hear that from me). I don't think there is a single uni assignment one of my friends handed in that I didn't read over first.

Realistically it's going to be some kind of sustainability advising position, cause I chose the wrong majors for editing.

TWELVE / meaning behind URL:

Weltverbessererin literally means female world improver in German (do-gooder). I mean that unironically cause I'm a little environmentalist and used to be nearly zero waste and am vegan now. But it's also a hyperbole of course 😀

Tagging @lightninginabottle0613 @lianria @icontainmultitides @imnotalady @coffegost @harrenhollaback @go-catch-a-chickn @ohnoshefell @forge-heat

#about me #personal #tagging game

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codenamesailordarillium · 4 years

Note

I just stumbled across your tumblr & saw the thing where you said you don’t mind random asks, so I hope this ones ok: I got into DW over the past year & am now hardcore RiverDoctor. Unfortunately it seems like I’ve arrived to the party about 10 years late. Which means I stumbled across the section of the fandom that hates on THoRS bc 12 wasn’t “River’s Doctor” & 11 didn’t get to take her to Darillium for the first time today... Would you have any thoughts on that whole thing?

Wow…well, first I wanna say it’s always great to have new people on board. I know it might seem like you’ve gotten into it too late in the game, but trust me, new people in our corner in the fandom are always welcome (as with any fandom, of course). Feel free to send asks gushing about it to people, I’m sure fellow shippers would be happy to welcome you with open arms. ^_^

As for the rest well…this is gonna get long and probably have the potential to piss certain ppl off bc I have Opinions™, so gonna put the rest of this under a cut.

Hoo boy…yeah, 11/River *ONLY* shippers. See, the thing was, initially, back in late 2013/early 2014, when we were fresh off of Matt’s regeneration ep and all, I could sympathize to a certain degree with ppl who were sad about him leaving and were reluctant to see River/Alex with 12/Peter because it wouldn’t be the same or whatever. I didn’t agree personally (tho initially I was p bummed about Matt leaving, Peter started winning me over real quick not long after he was announced), but I understood that people have a certain attachment to characters and specific dynamics shippy or otherwise.

But to me, River was always the priority when regarding my interest in DW, and I wanted to see more of her in the show again, regardless of which Doctor it was with. I didn’t like how abruptly Moffat decided to end her story, just because the majority of the big reveals unfolded with Matt as the Doctor and suddenly because he and Karen and Arthur weren’t gonna be on the show anymore it meant Alex had to go as well. That didn’t really seem fair to River as a character, ‘cause it felt like we’d only been shown the bare bones of her story, her background/origin, her getting married to the Doctor, and then her dying. It didn’t feel right for her to just…not be there all of a sudden. Certain episodes (and lbr character dynamics) during series 8 and 9 would have probably benefited from her presence (off the top of my head I’d say Time Heist, how the hell did this show have a heist episode with no River using her time-traveling archaeologist sleuthing skills, like dafuq).

So…pre-THoRS, the Doctor/River fandom after Peter took over the role was a bit of a mixed bag. There were the people who only wanted River with 11 and just angsting in general because there wasn’t gonna be any more of that, but there also was a significant bunch of us who were DEEP into wanting River & 12 to happen. People were still in the fandom, writing fic, drawing fanart, what have you, probably at a slower rate than they had previously, but there was still stuff being put out there, simply because we wanted to entertain what that hot Capalston Sex Storm chemistry might look like. So when news of THoRS suddenly hit us in the face like…

…needless to say, a good number of us were suddenly stoked, new life had been breathed into the fandom and there was pretty much constant excited yelling for like the three and a half-ish months after it was announced. Once the episode finally came out and Darillium got switched from that big dreadful moment where River’s story turned tragic (well, even more tragic than it already was) to literally the most warm and fuzzy soft 24 years of domestic marital bliss for River, there were diverging opinions.

Post-TNotD the fandom had come up with all these headcanons about 11 having lost River directly after losing the Ponds, which was why he was up on that cloud for a century and the generally accepted consensus was that Darillium had to have happened with 11. Admittedly, it doesn’t really paint 11 in the best light after the fact that he seemed to have tried dying on Trenzalore without ever having taken River to Darillium like he’d promised. But, looking back, a lot of 11 & River’s relationship as it was depicted in series 5 & 6 was fraught with emotional hurt on River’s end, so for me personally (and some others), it didn’t really seem entirely out of character for 11 once we really started thinking about it.

Really, it’s more complicated because of the nature of TV and how with a show like DW it’s really impossible to plan out these big story beats ahead of time with different Doctors. Moffat initially tried getting David to stay an extra season after RTD left, and had David said yes, that means a good chunk of River’s story would have unfolded with 10. It kinda just ends up being a case of who’s currently part of the cast and how can we mold this particular part of the story around them. By the time Steven decided on the way in which he wanted to show Darillium unfold, Matt was already gone, so it had to happen with Peter.

(And I mean, if you wanted to put a positive spin on it, you could see it as 11′s big blustery last-ditch attempt at trying to prevent River dying in the Library from happening.)

I was admittedly a vocal cuntface about how much I DIDN’T want THoRS to end on Darillium before “24 years”. I hated the idea of 12 finally seeing and being with his wife only for it to end all unnecessarily angsty again. Moffat managed to completely upend and rewrite my expectations in that regard, fortunately.

For a lot of us, it was about River being shown to finally have some no-strings-tied happiness with a Doctor who knew her. I think a lot of people wanted that to be with older!11, but narrative-wise, I think regardless of whether it’s older!11 or 12, the point is the Doctor being at a point where he can be the husband who River needs. One whose memories don’t need to wiped after the fact like all the classic Doctors, War, 9, or pre-Library 10. Aside from the whole HELL YEAH SPACE WIVES angle, I think that’s also what fuels a lot of the desire for River to be with 13 as well, a Doctor who knows and loves her regardless of what face their wearing.

For some ppl in this fandom tho, that didn’t suffice because it didn’t happen with Matt & Alex. And I mean, if that’s how someone feels, that’s their prerogative, but I don’t see any reason to rain on everyone else’s parade when it literally brought new life and excitement and joy and FUN into our fandom after what felt like quite a long dry spell without any River content.

And I mean, not to get mopey and sad about it (trigger warning for some potentially upsetting stuff), but the news about River being back on DW in September of 2015 couldn’t have come at a better time fore me personally, bc that was literally a time in my life where I had sudden and overwhelming/dangerous mental health issues, to the point where daily I contemplated suicide and knowing that River was finally gonna meet the Scottish version of her husband was quite literally the thing that kept me alive, because I fucking HAD to see it. So, I do tend to bristle when I come across opinions that trash that particular episode, because it means a HELL of a lot to me.

The only thing I can say about dealing with people who stew in negativity is to just try to avoid them. I don’t follow anyone who professes THoRS-negative opinions and in some very rare cases I’ve blocked certain people. In addition to this, bc Tumblr’s blocking system is balls, I use the xkit blacklist extension and literally put people’s urls into it so I don’t have to see their stuff when others unknowingly put it on my dash. (Tho be aware that if ppl change their urls you might need to go in and change it to their current one, but it’s not that hard to do.) Because at the end of the day, you just want to be able to enjoy the ship. You are the one curating your own fandom experience, and once you know what you want to avoid (or who), you gotta just take the necessary precautions.

#anonymous #otp: when the wind stands fair #otp: you even gave me your screwdriver #did i just spend like an hour detailing a tidbit of fandom history that i actually witnessed and was a part of #yeah #yeah i did #i have no regrets #eta: also just realized in order to have found that post about me welcoming random asks anon had to wade thru all the markibutthead nonsense #i've been reblogging lately and the fact that u still wanted my opinion as a doctor/river shipper is a p big compliment in that regard

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bum-callout · 6 years

Text

the full regan tea!

i know this is long as HELL so there will be a tl;dr at the end for those who dont have the time to read it or just dont want to.

disclaimer 1: screenshots will be added to this as theyre located. a lot of this persons accounts/messages have been deleted, so some are hard to find, unfortunately.

disclaimer 2: no witch-hunting of this individual is encouraged. this is merely a warning to people who interact with them and something to document and fully address their lies over the past three or so years.

a little context:

this callout regards an individual who will be referred to as “regan” and they/them for the duration of this post to avoid confusion. a list of their known aliases is located here.

they currently go by alayne, and are most active on quotev, where their most recent urls are @jonestxwn (which is super disrespectful already lol) and @yearzer0. their old tumblr is @colacans, but if they have a new one, im unaware of it.

all victims names have been changed to preserve their privacy. here is a list of people mentioned:

gail: gail refers to the main victim of regans manipulation and their partner of several years. they started dating some time in 2015 or 2016. the broken heart emoji in some screenshots refers to gail. gails alters are also changed to “gail” for privacys sake.

jake: jake is another victim of regans, albeit a more minor one. jake met regan in 2015 and started dating them. jake is also often lied about as regan. the game controller emoji in some screenshots refers to jake.

skylar: ex-qpp/partner of regans. last testimonial is from them.

taylor: an ex friend of regans who theyd had various and sundry drama with over the 3 years of bs.

jay: an ex of regans that they parted on rough terms with.

any other censored names: people who i was sure would only be mentioned once.

gail and jake:

this is, without a doubt, the most important part of the callout, and unfortunately the part with the least viable screenshots, due to deletion of accounts/messages. gail has since deleted most of her messages from regan, but the ones that ive found/been given screenshots of are here (with gails explicit permission).

gail:

regan was incredibly shitty to gail during their 2-3 year relationship. i would go so far as to say regan was abusive. as will be seen in the actuallydivine section, regan blames a great deal of things on gail, and has never permanently taken the blame for anything in their rocky relationship; it has always, according to regan, been something wrong with gail.

here are some examples of regan exhibiting abusive behaviour (tormenting gail because its “funny”), admitting to their own shitty behaviour, and mentioning cheating on her. its interesting to note they were also dating jake at this time, but they cared about him so little they didnt even mention the effect cheating might have on him.

i find it interesting that regan admits to being shitty towards gail as far back as 2016, but has gone back to claiming they did nothing and that gail is the one at fault. perhaps it is a bit far to claim that regan is a pathological liar, but with their behaviour, i would not be entirely surprised.

another thing to mention regarding gail is that regan claimed gail pushed them into the habit of regan calling gail “daddy,” and then saying they were ace and it made them uncomfortable in the first place, when nothing could be farther from the truth. regan has publicly in front of their followers, almost 100% of whom were minors, talked about their R*PE KINK, and often called gail daddy unprompted on the feed and elsewhere. before anyone comes for me, im not claiming that they couldnt be asexual, but i am doubtful because of the fact theyve claimed that once or twice before and decided they werent, AND because of the fact they only used it to pin the blame on gail for this.

this doesnt even touch on the amount of times they threatened to kill themself.

jake:

regan and jakes relationship went as such: they met in 2015, when jake was 13 and regan was 16, and started dating. hopefully you can understand what is wrong with that, as a relationship with that age gap is ILLEGAL in every u.s. state. there was sexual conduct involved, making regan (arguably) a child predator. there is also a statement that regan dated another 13 year old when they were 17, but that is as yet unproven and the 13 year old in question is not contactable to confirm this. to the best of my knowledge, both of their current partners are also minors, despite the fact they are 19 as of october 2018.

regan was also extremely shitty to jake during this time, constantly “bullying” him (their own words) in a way that they found funny, but was clearly extremely upsetting to jake. they also pushed him aside for at least half of their relationship, as they were poly and their other partners (mostly gail) were more their focus.

above is a conversation between jake and regan. regan came to him and asked him “what [they] ever did to [him]” and after respondingg and explaining why exactly he had beef with them, he discovered that them saying they wanted “no drama” was absolutely bs, as they had been posting a psa trying to get he and gail deleted for no reason that same day. afterwards, regan messaged jake asking for a truce, which jake refused, as he was furious with them and felt that they were not in a position to ask for a truce when they were doing things like this just hours before.

misc:

this is mostly just them talking shit, but some of the stuff they say is clearly lies if you consider evidence. they constantly paint themself as the victim when they are a 19 year old abuser who takes advantage of people regularly.

(this last screenshot refers to jake changing his username to a pun based on the phrase “lies and slander”; its unclear whether regan sent this pretending to be someone else, or had someone they know send it.)

i think its also interesting to note that this screenshot and later ones where regan is friends with jake are taken merely a month apart, and then, two months later, theyre back on their bs. something about that seems super fake to me.

actuallydivine:

regardless of your opinion on actuallydivine, if you look at the lies section, you can see regan blaming gail for all their actuallydivine stuff and saying it was all a lie. yeah. bs.

mental illness:

i know this is a bit of a controversial subject, but a lot of stuff regan said/did concerning mental illness (ESPECIALLY involving their system/alters) was really shitty imo.

this is a good example of something shitty they did alter-wise. this was something they claimed OVER AND OVER AGAIN, saying shitty things they did were always their evil headmates, and constantly killing off and creating new headmates (that were mostly actually just them under a new name) as an excuse for their behaviour and a way to reset for being a shitty person.

heres them listing their mental illnesses. now, if you look in the lies section, regan says they faked their headmates (aka their osdd), so thats more proof theyre a liar. they also at one point bashed self-diagnosis, and yet they admit to self-diagnosing here. Hmm. something else to note is that in the first image, they seem to be claiming that their therapist diagnosed them, when diagnoses are made by psychiatrists, but that could be a simple oversight on their part.

lies:

self-explanatory, but this section is mostly regan saying or implying theyve changed and are now a better person.

as you can see in the above screenshots, all taken at different times in the last two years, theyve done this thing over and over and OVER where they claim theyve changed, theyre better, something has changed their view, and that is simply not the case, and never has been.

this last one is from this month (october 2018). sound familiar?

these arent so much blatant lies as it is implying theyre any different now. also, funny to acknowledge that 2015 them was a piece of shit, when they really dont act any different now.

some other ridiculous things they lied about:

their height, at least three separate times.

their zodiac sign.

killers:

regan is very much a ‘true crime’ kind of person, and i do, in some aspects, mean the fetishize-y kind. theyre borderline obsessed with serial killers, and have expressed sexual attraction for ted bundy. however, thats not the only true crime-related bullshit theyve pulled.

yeah. regans factkin with JIM JONES. and they made one of their urls “jonestxwn” like.. how disrespectful can you be? if they were a columbiner, i would not be surprised. for those who are not aware, jim jones is the cult leader who caused the jonestown massacre, which resulted in the death of 900+ people through mass suicide. its where the phrase “drinking the koolaid” comes from, as the poison was mixed with a koolaid-like product.

miscellaneous:

you thought regan could not be any more of a freak? you were wrong baybee!

even without context this is a gross thing to do. however, context makes this worse: the individual in question, while they were NOT a good person, was around jakes age, if not younger, meaning that they were at least 3 years younger than regan at the time, and were most likely probably 13-14, judging by the time period when regan was interacting with them, so regan was 3-4 years older than this individual when they manipulated and fake dated them.

just gross. its of note that regan turned 18 in 2017, so they were an adult or close to being an adult when they said this.

hmm. kind of fetishize-y, but not the worst thing ive seen from regan.

GROSS? stay away from children.

honestly this ones just funny all things considered.

this isnt the only time theyve referred to themself as a fujoshi, and some of those times were when they identified as female. yikes!

yet another one thats just funny. they are genuinely a narcissist, and regularly refer to themself as some kind of genius (not to mention their god complex, which THEY THEMSELF refer to as such).

another one like that mentioning their headmates and the fact they are, and i quote, “the smartest person alive.” come bless us mortals with your 300 iq, o god regan.

OK MR KING OF EVIL LMFAO.

they were also into ddlg but i have no screenshots of that, as after a certain period, they prefaced a lot of their posts with stuff like “hehe im not into ddlg but i sure love calling my partner daddy!” despite having said, and i quote, “ddlg is my main kink,” at one point.

another point against them, which i have proof for but didnt feel was relevant enough to this: they love tearzah, and claimed to have been in a relationship with them. although tearzah (and melanie martinez... AND reinagoth) are people who they are a massive hypocrite about, as they acknowledged they were shitty and refused to support them, and then, mere months later, decided “nevermind, dont care, i love them xoxo.”

testimonials:

this is fairly self-explanatory; its testimonials by anonymous people who interacted with regan in the past detailing what they know of them.

to add some extra context to the one directly above, this individual is younger than jake by a year.

more of these will be added as i receive more.

conclusion:

i apologize for getting kind of unprofessional at the end, but this is a subject im emotionally involved in. again, i DONT advocate witch-hunting of this individual. theyre a shitty person but harassing them will do nothing constructive.

spreading this would be appreciated, though, as this person is genuinely a danger to those around them and has continued to lie about gail and jake up until extremely recently, if they are not still doing so.

tl;dr:

regan is an abusive person who takes advantage of minors, blames the people they abuse, and constantly lies about everything they can, among a plethora of other shitty-but-less-unforgivable things.

#regan

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