Don't Leave Me Here
Changing format and style, because I want to keep my motivation strong. 💪👁👄👁
Fandom: Star Wars
Request: Nope. This is the very self-indulgent one shot.
Pairing: Cassian Andor x F!Reader
Summaries: Battle of Scariff brings hope to the Galaxy and the Rebels, but what about the Rogue One's crews, especially with your long-time-crush, Captain Andor.
Contents: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Mutual pining, Friends to lovers, Soft Cassian, Love confessing, Idiots in love.
Warning: Angst. Describing of Injuries, blood, pain and death. Crying. Anxiety. Cliché plot. Writer is being too over emotional and regret nothing.
Rate: M for melodrama
Words: 2,285
A/N: Alternate version of Rouge One 2016's ending. Because I had realised that I didn't write my own. Also, feel a little bit sad, because 2024 is feeling like eternity. But I'm gonna write Cassian's fix-it fan fictions, until I can't write. English is my second Language, please feel free to correct me, and let me know if I miss any CW+TW. Enjoy Reading 😊
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Death Star Plan was successfully stolen. The battle at Scariff had been considered as a big victory for rebellions. Everyone who stayed at Yavin IV was cheering and crying with joy. Some systems, even, officially declared independents over the Empire’s sovereign right there. Some systems, which tended to give up before, decided to maintain alliances. The spark of flame was reigniting again. The light at the end of the darkest tunnel was like a new dawn — hope.
But it just was at the very first minutes, when the Plan completely broadcast. The Rogue One crews returned with survivors – were not long enough after the battle ended – but mostly were casualties. All Medbay turned into a big, chaotic area; doctors, nurses, medical staffs, and medical droids managed to diagnose every crew’s condition from the worst to ‘nothing much to worry about’.
And the worst, whose state was severe, was Captain Cassian Andor. Y/N’s one of her old and good friends, since she had joined the Rebellions in the first month.
Cassian was a mystery (some even said he was scary), moody, tense and taciturn on the outside – for almost everybody on Yavin IV Base. Actually, he was not. He had a strange humour and points of views toward life, also knowledges in many fields which attracted his team, many women on the base, and Y/N.
As the volunteer at Medbay – after hearing there were survivors – Y/N ran and helped the staffs as much as her strength allowed. First time she saw Cassian, he was covered by blood and wounds, while she was pasting Bacta gel on a supporting crew. She didn’t spare a time to visit him, she must stay outside – standing by. When she finished all the tasks, she noticed that a doctor and assistances had taken care of Cassian already. She was about to visit him in a patient room, but it was forbidden.
Few hours later, the Rebellion Alliances had received the news; Princess Leia was being held in custody by the Empire. Was anything worst happened to the Alliances right now?
Three days had passed by, Y/N had switched to the ‘autopilot’ mode on working in her station, doing routine. Thanks to all the works which kept her busy until resting time, they also made her forgot what she had dreamt in her sleeping.
On the fourth day, main crews on the cargo ship gradually came to consciousness. Y/N’s good friend at Medbay told her that late morning. She immediately visited them and listening to the incident near the broadcasting tower on Scariff.
Jyn told Y/N everything which Cassian did. She even encouraged her to hold tight on the hope. Chirrut said the force had been staying with Cassian, and the force always worked in many surprising ways. Moreover, the medical staffs allowed everyone, whoever cared about Cassian, to visit him. He was getting much better now, but still unconscious.
She didn’t want to dig up those memories of him being covered by blood and wounds four days ago. Nevertheless, she shook them out, made up her mind, and deciding to see him. Maybe Jyn and Chirrut were right.
Y/N exited her station to the room where Cassian was placed. She noticed the one and only re-programming Imperial droid on Yavin IV. He stood and starred through the window, seem like he hoped his Captain was waking soon.
“Y/N.” K2SO greeted, “I have calculated the possible that you are going to visit Cassian today, the percentage is…”
“Don’t tell me.” She cut the droid. “Let me go inside without your statistic. My head is aching enough.”
Keying a code, going inside, she cursed herself for being rude to K2SO. Somehow, after visiting Cassian – she would apologise to the droid – since she had forgotten his good intention, underneath the sarcasm.
As Y/N approached the bed, all Cassian’s blood and wounds were cleansed. BPM pulse and body temperature had not become normal yet. He would not wake up within two or three days, according to the report. Numerous I.V.s were still plugging into his veins, also a bandage on his torso.
Y/N sat on a chair beside the bed, examining Cassian’s state closely while she tried to hold back her tears, but it was failed. She could not help herself. All tears ran down her cheeks like a great flood. Four days and three nights felt like months. She let vulnerability got her by sobbing uncontrollably, started talking to him and wishing he could hear;
“Cassian, I know you are willingly to do anything for the Rebellion. I’m really proud. But why do you always run into suicide missions?” Her voice was depressed. “Sometimes, you don’t have to prove that you are one of the best rebel spies by destroying yourself. Mon Mothma and many commanders speak of you highly… even princess Leia…”
Tears still ran down, while she was reaching for his hand, biting lower lip and shook her head.
“I survived the first month because of your helps. You introduce me to many things I know just a bit or haven’t known before, so I can fit in. When I feel down, blue, even black, you cheer me up with your eccentric jokes – and if you are out for a mission, you always say goodbye… this time… you don’t even give me a chance…”
Y/N recalled what was happening when Rogue One recklessly leaved for Scariff, after most allies and commanders objected. She was there. When the meeting ended, she sought Cassian or whoever in his unit. Too late. They had gone.
“I want to blame my stupid brain for bringing the pain that I do not desire to feel. That isn’t a reason. Those words in my mind – I wish I could tell you, after all of these years…” Y/N softly squeezed his hand “Since here we are, only you and me. When you wake up, we are going to be the same. It’s now or never.”
She paused for seconds, took one deep breath, and let all her feels breaking control.
“I love you, Cassian. More than a good friend. I love you with all my heart, my soul, my breath, and my entire existence. You are the one. Every time you come back, I just don’t want to hug you – I want to kiss you like there’s no tomorrow, jumping into you, embracing you in my arms……”
Y/N kept confessing her feelings toward Cassian until she recognised she was going to weep again. She stopped, stood up, leaned forward to kiss Cassian’s forehead gently, and whispered before leaving.
“Just don’t leave me here…”
She dried her eyes, leaved Cassian behind, and repressing the desire to look at him again. As she exited, K2SO still had been on the spot. She sighed, walking toward the droid.
“I’m sorry Kay. I shouldn’t say such things. Well, I don’t have any excuse.”
“At least you didn’t hit me. I don’t expect anything. I have calculated, there is a high chance that you’re going to apologise. So, I forgive you.”
Y/N could swear to Kriff that K2SO mentally shrugged, judging by his tone. She crossed her arms and faking a smile.
“Then we’re even.” Looking on the floor, she gazed up at K2SO again. “Tell me, have you calculated when Captain Andor is going to wake up?”
“I did, but I think you don’t need it anymore.”
She raised her eyebrows. The droid did say nothing, just looked into the room. She followed suit, shook her head, and suddenly rushing inside.
Cassian opened his eyes. Blinking rapidly, he glanced around. The last thing he remembered – before everything turning black – was K2SO and Jyn helping him into an escape pod, also thinking about Y/N and regretting that he had not bid a proper farewell yet. And how the Kriff he could be here now, at the medical section on Rebelli—
“Maker!” she exclaimed, stopping him from the train of thought – While she was restraining herself from hugging him.
Cassian swore in his native tongue. Unbelievably, his eyes might be deceiving him – Y/N was here – impossible. This place could be wherever the creatures went after the death.
“No, this isn’t true. Scariff was destroyed by the Death Star… You can’t be here.”
Y/N wanted to punch him in the face, but it could send him back to the unconsciousness again. She tried to keep calm, but instead, her tears explode again.
“Don’t you dare say such a thing—”
His mouth was gaping a little, looking downward at his own body. His torso and his head still hurt. He felt everything which plugged on his arm, thinking backward – moreover, before he could open his eye – he could hear Y/N said something… about the relationship, and love. Especially what he had been holding on for a long time, the same thing she had blurted out. He thought they were an illusion.
He sat up, his back and his bone were cracking loudly. He breathed deeply, restraining all the agony. Y/N supported him; holding his upper body and adjusting pillows.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He paused, as she was sitting beside the bed, “This mission is important. We must do it fast. That fucking weapon is too dangerous… like I’ve told you before, if we waited for permission, the Empire could be a hundred steps ahead…”
“No hard feelings. You survive, wake up and healing. The Empire is going to fall. Those are all I want.”
Seeing Y/N sniffed, sobbed and looked down at the floor, Cassian’s eyes were softer than ever. He reached out to take her hand, that grab an edge of the bed, caressing it gently.
“Please don’t cry. Kay tells me once that tears can drain oneself, and… You deserve all happiness in the galaxy.”
She gazed into his eyes. Perplexing spread on her pale face.
“What Kay’s randomly statistic has to do with my happiness?”
Cassian sighed quietly. Smiling, he whispered in Kenari, decided to speak all his heart out.
“Come sitting here.” He patted a space on the mattress. Although she was still dazing, she consented. Here, it was closer than ever, every time they interacted.
“Your happiness is my happiness. Your pain is my pain.”
She gasped. Something was dawning in her mind, but he still kept continuing;
“I thought I was dead or dreaming. It is not. I hear what you have said. I feel all the things you have done. I’m not going to leave you here anymore. I love you, Y/N; with all my heart, my breath, my soul, and my entire existence.”
“Cass…”
“Please don’t leave me here, too.”
His voice was filled with pleading and the utmost longing. His eyes had not brightened yet, but they were brighter than ever – before he disappeared as the council was dismissing.
“I’m not gonna leave you. Ever.”
All the affectionate and things which left unsaid within their eyes were exploding. Her lips were parted – trying to reply – but his hand slowly moving to her face. Caressing it tenderly and trailing downward from her cheek to her chin, he tugged her weave behind her ear. Cassian and Y/N could feel their breaths upon their own skins. Their eyes were exchanging feeling from through all of these years, as she put her hand on his shoulder.
Cassian didn’t hesitate. He leaned in to capture Y/N lips softly. It was like a butterfly pecking on flowers, an index finger touching a velvet cloth. They paused for seconds to catch the breath. She sensed that the temperature in this room was rising and warmer than before.
“I won’t do this again…” He whispered, looked into her eyes and circling his thumbs over her cheek and her hand.
“You don’t have to…”
“I’m not gonna be reckless. I will ask Mon Mothma and other commanders for table-work. More time on base, less time t—”
Y/N sealed Cassian’s mouth with her lips, lightly pushing him back on pillows. His eyes were widening, but he grinned while kissing her back. His hand on hers moved from to the back of her neck, gradually pulling her down to deepen the passionate kiss.
“There is ninety-nine per cent that Y/N is gonna kiss you like this, Cassian.”
Y/N was abruptly jumping back to a chair. She almost fell from a sickbed, as she heard K2SO’s voice. Cassian, also the same, but he gripped a metal beside tightly enough.
“Kay!” Cassian hissed the Droid, who was standing near infirmary’s trolleys.
“Oh, I shouldn’t have disturbed you both, since you have always wished the scenario like this, should I?”
“Go visiting others.” He ordered. The droid did as he was told – turned around and walking out. Both Cassian and Y/N heard K2SO talking to himself, distinctly, like the droid wanted them to hear.
“Humans are such the peculiar life-forms. I will ask technicians on loading how to understand the humankind programme.”
“Maybe I will tell the technicians to not upload that.”
Cassian sighed loudly, shook his head, and turning to Y/N for opinion. But what he saw was she had been covering her face with her hands in shyness.
“No, I’m gonna tell them myself.”
Cassian joyfully laughed. She still sat and posing as the same. If his eyes were not deceived him, he saw the redness on her temple, her ears, and her neck.
“I should tell you how I feel earlier. But, it's okay, you are lovely when you are like this.”
“Stop it.” She glanced and swiftly pressing the comm, calling a doctor, before Cassian could tease her more.
At the point, she didn’t doubt why K2SO just being K2SO. Because the one who had reprogrammed this imperial droid was just the same as him.
Thank you for reading Your likes, comments and rebloggings are appreciated! 🥰🥰🥰
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Them: "Elain and Lucien feel uncomfortable around each other! Elain even "hates" him for what he did! Lucien feels so entilted to her and would kidnap her if it wasn't for the IC! How dare you ship that?!? You guys are so problematic!"
Feyre, who hated Rhys like hell: "😀..."
Nesta who insulted Cassian every damn time: "🤨..."
Celaena, who hated Sam and didn't care about him: "🤷🏼♀️"
Aelin and Rowan, who beat the shit out of each other and wanted to kill the other (+ Rowan telling Aelin that she should've died that night 10 years ago and Aelin telling him that fae's like him deserved to be killed by the King): "🌚🌝..."
Elide, who hated Lorcan for what he did and broke his heart" "😬..."
Aedion, who called Lysandra a bitch and threw her in the snow, even tho she was literally naked: "😅..."
Yrene, who hated Chaol simply because he worked for Ardalan: "👁👄👁..."
Hunt, who thought so shitty about Bryce: "👀..."
Literally every damn couple, whose story is a "enemies to lovers" trope: "😏..."
I guess the "enemies to lovers" trope is problematic.
- but shipping the ship, where the sad guy with issues feels entilted to the women and sees her as a prize to win, who would kill the other decent dude who didn't do anything wrong, is romantic and not problematic at all? I see...
Let's get one thing right: Elain doesn't hate Lucien. She fears the mating bond and can mostly not stand the smell and the power of it. it's canon that she doesn't want a male and most definetely not a mating bond. Elain and Lucien don't even know each other at all and that is why they feel uncomfortable around each other. If the cauldron chose Azriel as Elain's mate, then she would have ignored his existence and talked to Lucien instead. She would have treated Lucien like she treats other people, or maybe they would've even become close? Where is the "Elain hates Lucien" line even coming from?
IF the cauldron chose Azriel as Elain's mate, this would have come to soo many problems. Azriel already feels entilted to her cause "three bro, three sis". Elain doesn't want a mating bond nor a male- not to mention that Azriel has anger issues and too many other issues he has to work on. Can't they see how damaging it would be for Azriel? He already confessed that he would kill Lucien without hesitation- imagine if El/riel have a mating bond. Imagine if the "Azriel is Elain's true mate" theory was right? Elain would only fear Azriel. It would not lead to a healthy relationship.
We have Lucien who gives Elain all the time she wants, visits only because of the IC and stays far away from her. Even though he's literally dying inside, he doesn't force Elain at all nor does he feel entilted to her.
We have Azriel who thinks that only because his brothers are mated to Elain's sisters, Elain should belong to him. He never thought about her heart but instead about her 😼. He sees her as a damn prize to win (I know that he would never force her to anything but to think like this is just....).. Not to mention that he isn't even over Mor.
- Lucien trusts Azriel and thinks he's a decent male
- Azriel wants to kill Lucien and would do it without hesitation, knowing it's not Lucien's fault that he's mated to Elain.
Is that what Elain wants? Violence... over her?
Anyone can ship who the hell they want, but I'm tired of them telling us over and over again how toxic and problematic we are for shipping Elucien and I'm tired of them screaming how "toxic" Lucien is when ACOSF and the bonus chapter showed us how problematic El/riel actually is and how Azriel actually thinks and acts.
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I'm also tired of the "deserve" bullshit. She's not a fucking trophy. Literally El/riels, Feyre and especially Nesta and Azriel think they can decide over her- She's a person and an adult and she wants to be treated like one.
El/riels and Azriel: "LuCiEn dOeSn'T dEsErVe hEr!!"
Eluciens and Rhys: "But you do??"
YOU SURE DID YOUR RESEARCH ANON
everything about this is just chef’s kiss 💋
yes, elain doesn’t know lucien, she doesn’t have a reason to act like that simply because of lucien himself, but we literally have it on paper that it’s the mating bond she despises
yes, if azriel had been her mate, she would’ve acted exactly the same towards him, but how that would’ve worked out … yikes, I dread to think about it given his behaviour and entitlement in his pov
yes, azriel doesn’t seem to care much about elain as a person
yes, he still doesn’t seem to be completely over mor, it’s more likely elain was a pleasant distraction
yes, lucien is precious and deserves better than azriel’s alpha male bs
and yes, we know exactly what elain would think about all this cause she said herself in acosf that she’s not a child to be fought over
as soon as elain gets some agency, things will get a lot more interesting. she’s just not in the right place right now and that’s okay, though I believe a part of that is also the fault of the people who surround her. sometimes you have to push someone for them to get better. but we’ll see 😌 thanks for this ask, it was a treat
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