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#cant miss out on smth that never happened
dq9 · 1 year
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listen if iceado gets cancelled ill ultimately be Fine itll be ok its fine
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puppyeared · 7 months
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if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified
#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing#i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though#at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself#as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed#escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date#although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL#ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting#workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety#i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back#AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO#im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts#i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem#in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material#and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school#maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess#only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard#hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms#i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work#not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall#anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh#yapping
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munamania · 5 months
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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there
#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru#but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days#and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing#i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail#i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time#not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me#im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me#anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early#i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great#and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most#expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth#but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans#but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated#about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like#u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends#w yall. things happen#abby talks#and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw#a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes#OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it#was years ago but also like christ!
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killmebythebeach · 2 years
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Just finished today's jrwi and WHATS THIS?! ******* ******** WITH A STEEL CHAIR?!?!
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tobe-sogolden · 2 years
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third watch of dwd down i fucking love that movie you guys it's literally brilliant
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dizzybizz · 6 months
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hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay
ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭
(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)
no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever
hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh
i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm
this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????
I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3
i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W
yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????
WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.
also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP
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minnielvr · 5 months
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cold chocolate - kim seungmin
˚ ༘ pairing bf! seungmin x fem! reader
˚ ༘ genre fluff, angst!!, seungmins a bit of a meanie :(
˚ ༘ wc 3.4k
˚ ༘ note never writing smth this long (okay 3k words☠️) again idfk how sum ppl do it😭 sorry if this bad guys i cant write rlly good🦦merry xmas!!!
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"hey y/n can you come out here?" seungmin called to you from your guys' living room.
"yea whats up babe?" you went over to the couch and sat next to him.
"promise you wont be mad?" he looked at you and raised a brow while grabbing your hand.
"oh god seungmin what did you do now?" you chuckled. obviously you thought that whatever he was going to tell you wasn't that shocking and he was just exaggerating, but you were so wrong.
"no y/n this is serious."
"o-oh okay. uhm whats wrong?" you were starting to get nervous now. does he want to break up? did he cheat on you? a million thoughts raced through your head but not one of them was what he was about to tell you.
"i'm not gonna be home for christmas.." he said it so casually as he looked down in his lap.
"oh."
now usually missing holidays wouldn't be such a problem for you two, except christmas. you guys dont really celebrate anything other than valentines, chuseok, and birthdays, sometimes you guys dont even celebrate birthdays. but christmas? it was a must. you were going to go back home to your family with him for the first time. he had even said yes. now all of a sudden he cant? whats more important?
you inhaled a shaky breath and asked, "why?"
"well you know, we have practice to do, and we have to record some things. so i'll be staying at the dorms." he shrugged and let go of your hands. thinking you were fine.
now that pissed you off. practice? recording? he couldn't skip one week of work for christmas? he was never like this, he has never put his work over you.
"seriously seungmin?. you cant just skip a week of work for christmas? you're putting 'some practice' over me?" you looked up at him with an open mouth.
"no y/n, i cannot." he glared at you. why was he giving you attitude all of a sudden? its not like you're the one who will be missing christmas.
"care to explain why?" you crossed your arms.
"dont you get it y/n? my work is harder than yours, you literally do nothing but sit down at a desk all day and book peoples appointments," he slowly started to raise his voice. "you dont get it all. i cant just be home all the time to give you attention. since when were you so clingy?"
you stood up from the couch and backed away from him, scared of him yelling at you. were you really that annoying? your eyes started to water.
"seungmin wh-why are you getting so mad? i'm just asking you to take a week off for christmas, im sure they'll let you. beside you need a break too." you said while looking down, trying to avoid eye contact so he couldn't see your tears.
"i'm mad because you're annoying! i dont want to take a week off. i cant be with you all the time y/n. leave me alone." he turned to the tv and turned it on, acting as if nothing happened.
at this point there were tears running down your face. how could he be so rude and say something like that? sure you guys have had arguments before and said things, but never like this. he the level-headed one in the relationship. he always keeps his cool during arguments because he knows how upset you get.
maybe it is your fault though. maybe you ask for too much attention and let him do all the work in the relationship. maybe you should leave him alone until christmas is over.
"okay. i'm sorry that im too clingy. i'll just leave" you turned around on your foot to go get your backpack with all your things. you'll stay with a friend or something. maybe you were overreacting a bit but you didn't really care, how could your boyfriend just ditch family plans for christmas like that?
"yea whatever, i dont care" and he dismissed your statement just like that.
now that hurts.
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one of your best friends since you were 5, areum, was jeongins girlfriend. you and her were out one day and saw the two of them together, jeongin asked for aerums for her number first and seungmin asked you out a few weeks later. the rest is history.
you just arrived to aerums house and she graciously welcomed you in. seeing the tear stains on your face and your nose red, she figured you had walked here. she was correct. on the way out of your and seungmin's shared apartment, you had forgotten your car keys. but by the time you realized you were already too far down and didn't want to go back up to grab them, especially because seungmin would probably still be in there.
"so? tell me what happened babes" she guided you over to her couch and sat down next to you.
you explained what had happened and she fully agreed with you on your view of the whole thing. i mean, if he already said yes to the plans, why would he switch up all of a sudden? and seungmin would usually take a sick day or soemthing if you asked, he cared about you a lot. you're not saying that he has to prioritize his work over you, but the least he could do was tell you in a nice way or just take a few days off for christmas.
"but wait. that doesn't make sense.." aerum furrowed her eyebrows.
"huh? why?" you looked up at her.
"jeongin said that they have a little christmas break or something like that. i mean, we aren't going anywhere but he said that the boys have no schedules and practices," she looked at you nervously. "do you think that maybe seungmins lying to you?"
well he definitely is, theres no question about that. you just didn't want to believe that he would actually lie to you about something like this.
"n-no he would never..," you looked down in your lap. "oh my god he doesn't want to see my family. he probably thinks i'm rushing into it right? but we were supposed to go to his parents house after that, how is that fair?" you were coming up with all these excuses to not make him look like the bad guy in this situation but there really isnt any. he lied to you and called you cling and annoying. thats the hard truth.
"hey hey calm down its okay," aerum side hugged you and started rubbing your shoulders. "i'm sure it's just a little problem with miscommunication hm? it could be fixed like this." she snapped her finger.
"y-yea of course." you hiccuped. "can i just stay here for the night though? i don't feel like going back yet." you looked up to aerum with wide, teary eyes.
"aw of course honey." she squished your cheeks. "go shower and i'll get some food ready for us. we can watch a movie." she smiled at you and tapped your back to usher you to the bathroom.
you smiled and agreed with her and went to shower. turning the water to borderline boiling so you could release all your thoughts.
you put on some of aerums spare clothes and stepped out of the bathroom and walked to the main room. she had the movie 'home alone' waiting to be played on the tv. she knew it was your favorite christmas movie.
aerum saw you step out and turned her head back over the couch to face you with a big smile on her face, beckoning you to go and sit next to her. you could see a plethora os sugary and salty snacks sitting on the little coffee table in the middle of the room. she really knew how to cheer you up.
you guys ended up watching both home alone movies and ate almost all of the snacks. you guys also fell asleep next to each other on the couch. which was typical for the two of you when you ahd movie nights.
you were the first one to wake up the next morning. rubbing your eyes and aerums foot being the first thing you see was not so pleasant. the sun was shining through the window and you could hear the bustling city of seoul outside. what time was it?
you sat up from the couch while gently taking aerums leg off of your lap. you bent down to grab your phone to see that the time was..2 PM?!?!? seungmin must be worried sick!
you turned to the side and looked at aerum sleeping so peacefully. a little drool coming out the side of her mouth.
"aerum! hey! hey! wake up! it's 2'oclock!" you violently shook her shoulders.
she hummed and swatted your hands away from her body. telling you to shut up.
"as much as i would love to stop doing this i still love you and you have work today. so...get. up." at this point she had opened her eyes and you were staring straight into them.
"oh my god! i have work!" she kicked the blanket off her feet and scrambled to get up off the couch. running to her bathroom to go shower and get ready.
"hey wait! i was gonna go in there!" you chased after her but to no avail. she had already got in and locked the door.
"i know you have boyfriend problems right now but im already late for work! which one is worse y/n?" you could hear her starting to turn on the shower.
"fine, you win." you lightly kicked her bathroom door in anger.
you headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for ingredients to make breakfast for the two of you. there was nothing inside the fridge except some eggs, bread, butter, and milk. how did aerum and jeongin even survive in this house? at yours and seungmin's apartment, the food inside the fridge and pantry is always stocked. you guys go grocery shopping together too, just to make running errands a little more fun. sometimes he would ride the cart trying to run away from you or sneak in some extra snacks that you guys certainly didn't need to spend so much money on. but thats what made it fun. those little quirks are why you loved seungmin.
as you were reminiscing on those little memories, you heard a door to the apartment open. looking towards it, you saw jeongin walk in. since you started tearing up thinking about yours and seungmins relationship, you quickly wiped them when jeongin came a little closer to you.
"y/n? oh my god! seungmin is so worried about you! you should go to him. like now." he looked genuinely concerned.
"y-yea i should haha," you looked towards the eggs cooking on the stove. "just make sure you keep on eye this food though. me and aerum woke up late so while she showered i figured i could make me and her some food. but i'm leaving now. also you guys should really go grocery shopping." you laughed at him while packing up your things.
he frowned at you and opened the fridge "hey it's not that b-maybe it is..."
aerum walked out of the bathroom wrapped up in a towel and looked at you wide eyed. she heard you talking to yourself so she decided to come out.
"damn babe" jeongin turned towards aerum and looked at her while raising his eyebrows.
"jeongin! what are you doing here! you weren't gonna be back until like...2...oh." she looked at the clock and now realized it was 3. "oh my god i'm gonna get fired!!"
"chill out aerum, i'm sure one day won't do anything" you chuckled at her over exaggeration.
"okay y/n listen," she went up to you and put her hands on your shoulders, staring you dead in the eyes. "you back in your apartment and be very clear to seungmin that you're sad and man and whatnot. be confident and don't cry." she pursed her lip at you.
"okay! got it. now go finish getting ready so you can leave before jeongin makes you stay!" you winked at her and left her apartment.
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you were in front of your apartment door, giving yourself a pep talk about why you shouldn't be scared to go in there and confront seungmin. communication is key right?
you opened the door and were met with an empty house, no sign of seungmin anywhere. maybe he was sleeping? they didn't have any schedules today if you recalled correctly.
you walked towards your guys' shared bedroom and opened the door to be met with a sad sight. it was seungmin, curled up in the bed, holding onto your pillow. he seemed to be asleep and you didn't want to wake up him up. you were still mad at him, but the sight made your heart clench.
you went to your dresser and set your bag down. then you went to the bathroom to do your skincare routine since you hadn't gotten the chance to do so at aerums place. seems as though that woke seungmin up because next thing you know he's walking up to bathroom door that you forgot to close. you saw him behind you in the mirror.
"y/n?" he came closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. "i-i thought something happened to you when you left, i got really worried y'know..."
"well, i'm fine see? no need to worry." you unwrapped his arms from around your waist and stepped away from him. you appreciated the gesture but he's acting so normal, as if nothing happened between you two.
"oh...okay." he got the memo that you wanted to be left alone, so he left the bathroom. this time closing the door.
you were conflicted. you were mad at seungmin and he really hurt you. plus, the holidays were coming up and you didn't want to be in a sour mood for it. but at the same time, you could see he felt bad. him just initiating physical contact and being the first one to talk said a lot.
you see, both you and seungmin were both very prideful people. that means that when the two of you argued, instead of being normal and talking it out a few hours later. you guys stretched it on for 1-2 days before either of you came to apologize. communication was something your and seungmin's relationship was heavily lacking.
you decided that you would wait for seungmin to speak to you. and if he doesn't then well, you'll cross that bridge when you get there.
once you finished up in the bathroom, you made your way out to your bedroom and saw that seungmin was curled up on the bed with his phone.
"thought you had practice seungmin?" you crossed your arms and raised your brow.
"o-oh well you know i decided to skip today because i was so worried about you and i was waiting for you to come home." he made up an excuse.
"well im fine so, you should probably get going now." you patted his back and shooed him away.
you guessed that was his breaking point because then he turned around to face you with tears in his eyes and said
"y/n please...i'm sorry. i lied okay? i don't have any schedules or practice for the next whole week." he looked down in shame.
you already knew that so it wasn't that much of a shocker. but it really hurt coming from him.
"why would you lie to me seungmin?" tears were now starting to well up in your eyes. "i'm sorry if i rushed you into meeting my parents. it's just that we've been together for 2 years and you never got to see them except on calls so i thought it would be a nice trip for us...." you wiped your tears.
"no love trust me thats not the reason at all." he sat down next to you in the bed and took your face in his hands.
"so then why did you lie to me and call me clingy and annoying?" he winced when you mentioned what he called you. he really didn't mean to. he doesn't think that about you at all. it came out of nowhere.
"because y/n....i was scared to meet them. i thought that maybe they would think i wasn't good enough for you." he looked down in his lap.
"seungmin why on earth would you think that? my parents already love you and they've seen you on call. they practically adore you." you took his face in your hands now. "seungmin no one would ever think that about you. you're perfect in so many ways and you deserve me just as much as i deserve you, if not more."
"y/n how can you say that when i said all those things?" he was referring to when he called you clingy and annoying.
"because i know you didn't mean it baby. it did hurt a lot, but it's nothing you can't make up for." you smiled at him. "i know you've been a little stressed with all the end of year activities and stuff. but you're getting a break now! enjoy it."
"i just feel so guilty for lying to you and saying those things y/n, i truly am sorry. how can i make it up to you?" he looked at you wide eyed.
"cuddles and kisses. but we can do that after we pack since we're leaving in 2 days." you giggled.
seungmin pulled you by your waist into a hug and kissed the top of your head. "you know i love you a lot y/n, right?"
"yes i know that baby, i love you too" you smiled up at him. "now! lets get to packing!" you got up from the bed and started pulling clothes out of your drawers. seungmin groaned, not wanting to get up from the bed.
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it was christmas eve and you and seungmin were at your parents house. they were thrilled to see him and loved him very much. not failing to make him feel very deserved.
you guys were all sitting in the living room and it was 11:30 pm. your parents decided they would go to sleep and give you two some alone time. you guy's both said goodnight and waited for them to leave until you started talking.
"so, having a good time so far?" you turned sideways to face seungmin.
"of course, the best time even." he smiled at you. "wanna watch home alone? i know it's your favorite and we didn't get to watch it back at home."
"yes! i'll go make some hot chocolate for us." you hopped off the couch and made your way to the kitchen to boil some milk.
it's been about five minutes and the milk was still boiling. seungmin came into the kitchen to keep you some company. he walked over to where you were by the stove and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind.
"could this thing be any slower?" he whispered right into your ear.
"ugh, i know right. i don't even care anymore," you turned off the stove. "we can have cold chocolate i guess." you started pouring the milk into yours and seungmins cups.
"anything is good when i'm with you." he kissed the side of your neck and swayed you side to side.
you giggled and turned around towards him and said "awww look at you being all flirty" you teased.
he shrugged his shoulders. "it's the christmas spirit i guess."
you then looked at the digital clock behind seungmin and it read 11:59.
"oh seungmin look!" you point behind him at the clock. "it's almost christmas! in five....four....three....t-"
he pulled your face towards him and brought you in for a kiss. he rested his hands on your hips and then pulled away. you looked up at him with wide eyes.
"man, i wish it was christmas everyday if you're gonna act like this"
he chuckled. "merry christmas y/n." he pulled you into his chest and rested his chin on your head.
"merry christmas seungmin."
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morinuu · 5 months
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LISTWN TO ME I JUST READ YOUR TAMAKI ANGST AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SO FICKING GOOD??
A she falls but he falls harder
Reader finally gets over it and stops coming, moving on and focusing on herself, and he notices and starts realizing how he took her for granted
And then its him that's loosing his mind and shit like that. Dude. Dude. I'm loosing my MIND you write so well
first of all ty for the compliment >< so glad u liked it im blushing and giggling!! secondly im not sure abt the reader completely abandoning tamaki's side (i love being delulu), but i do have smth else in mind that's kinda similiar n i hope its satisfactory :3 i changed only a minor part from the og :P i wanna make this a small series..... maybe like 3-4 parts.. anw this is pt 1
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☀︎|tamaki x female reader. almost 4k words. continuation of this. ure sick, yamada hinata & aoko r just some ppl i made up for the plot, tamaki's pretty stupid n emotionally unintelligent, lots of feelings and background information, y'all r childhood friends, there's like one 4th wall break but i thought it was kinda funny so i kept it
you weren't a fan of february.
allergy season was your absolute worst, the wheezing and coughing sucking the life out of you as you struggled to change out of your clothes to get the day started. you didn't sleep much, interrupted constantly by your sore throat aching and squeezing.
sure, it's just hay fever to everyone else, but for a young woman who carried around an inhaler, it's hell. well, almost hell.
what was truly hellish wasn't the fatigue or the sneezing, but your mum dragging you back in the house and forbidding you from going to school until you're well enough to study again. how were you supposed to keep up with chemistry class if you skip?
not that your parents cared for your grades; they knew you could just enter whatever field you wanted with the connections your family held, but it felt nice to be awarded for working hard.
after your personal maid let out a small "pardon me, miss" and carried you back to bed, you realised that the feeling your soft quilt hugging your cold limbs would never be beaten by the jacket you desperately clung on to warm yourself in p.e - which just so happened to be your first period that day and you were dreading it.
"i'll be making you some tea, miss. would you like to breakfast now?" your maid's quiet voice addressed you, hoping you'd just sleep the illness off as you usually did so she could rest too.
to be fair, you weren't a very easy master to please, so could you blame her?
"i'll breakfast la-" a cough and some wheezing "-i'll breakfast later, bring some english breakfast with a slice of lemon." you said nothing else, instead focusing on calming your throat that seemed to intensify in soreness. "a pastille too."
"understood my lady, i'll be right back." she bowed and excused herself from your room, ignoring your groans of annoyance as you buried your face into the pillow.
"damn it." you muttered and extended your hand to grab your phone from your bedside table. unlocking it with the passcode (because you weren't in the mood to lift your head and let your phone scan your face) you squinted as the light mode of a social media app hit your eyes harshly, forcing you to use muscle memory to lower the brightness to its minimum.
you scrolled through, liking your friends' private posts and decided to message one of them.
yn.spam: gm dude, i cant come to school today cus im sick. can u do me a favour n tell aoko to give me her notes? she never looks at her messages.
with your phone back on the table to wait for a response, you lied back comfortably and closed your eyes, because as much as you wanted to watch something on netflix or play a video game, you didn't want to make things worse for yourself.
you grew impatient for the cup of tea your maid was brewing, rotating between wheezing, checking your phone and staring at the ceiling. it seemed like the seconds weren't passing by at all.
soon enough, your maid comes back with some fancy tray carrying a kettle, your favourite mug (the one your daddy drank from when you were a little girl before your parents divorced), a tiny plate with some lemon slices and a small box of pastilles as throat medicine.
you didn't thank the woman when she helped you sit up, nor when she stayed by your side to make sure you didn't choke between coughs and burnt yourself with the hot liquid. just as you took your first sip, your phone lit up to show your friend's response.
thatguyhinata: Ayooo gppd morning. Sry to hear tht. Sure if I see her I'll telm her.
the irises in your eyes rolled upwards at the boy's typos that irked you every time, completely ignoring how he didn't wish for your recovery.
yn.spam: thanks yamada
you never used any of your circle's first names, which your mum always found weird.
'you sure these are your friends, darling?' she would ask often, and your response would always be the same:
'yeah mum. leave me be.'
only tamaki had ever felt close enough to be called by his first name.
after swallowing your medicine, you dismissed the older woman standing over you and pulled your quilt over your quivering form again.
"gods, please let this be over soon."
...
well.
...turns out, you gotta be much more specific with what you ask of gods, because they might not have the same understanding of the word 'soon'.
here you are, three days later, with your allergy having been combined with a virus that'd been going around, intensifying your asthma symptoms and raising a high fever, making your mother and doctor ban you from walking into ouran.
halfway throughout the day, you realise what had been completely slipping your mind while your lungs were occupied inhaling abnormally.
"i have an appointment today!" you exclaimed with wide eyes, raising from the bed like lazarus from his grave.
"...?" the new maid next to you didn't say anything, she was clearly concerned. after some seconds of you overthinking something, she spoke up. "you have no other doctor's appointment today, my lady. he just left 10 minutes ago."
you shook your head quickly, ignoring the dizziness brought by your fever "bring me my phone," the girl was puzzled "now!"
bowing a quick apology, she rushed to your desk and handed you your phone with both hands, not daring to look up. you disliked new maids; they were inexperienced and annoying, but scolding her would have to wait.
"damn it, damn it, damn it!" you murmured under your breath and tapped furiously on your phone, trying to find where the hell you'd written kyouya's business e-mail address.
you had it saved as every other client of the host club had, but you had never actually used it, not once.
you never missed an appointment, and always booked the next one tete-a-tete with the black-haired manager. if you became a no-show without prior notice, wouldn't that look bad? would it annoy kyouya and he wouldn't accept you in the club again?
well no, but you had the habit of overthinki-
'would it annoy tamaki?'
you groaned and murmured to yourself - had you deleted it? maybe it was in your notes app and you erased it? was it on your old phone from a month ago?
"find an e-mail for me." you ordered the maid who looked up at you perplexed, but carried out the order nonetheless.
the girl was embarrassed when she found out her master was asking for a host's email, wanting the earth to swallow her when she dialed the ouran academy's number. 'the stuff i do for money..' she thought and prayed her family never found out.
it wasn't a long process to retrieve the address, but what was, was the rant hitting the maid's ears when your overthinking about what to write left your mouth at incredible speeds.
"should i say i'm sick? but he already knows that- he's in my class! maybe tell him to give my time to another girl? no wait, he would do that anyway... or after i apologise, i'll say that, like, something came up- but that's not believable enough... ugh!" you buried your face in your pillow and, unbeknownst to you, your new maid's eye was twitching in annoyance.
she understood now why your personal maid took the week off just when you got sick - not that she understood how and why your mum allowed it though.
(it's because you can be insufferable and she gets it.)
"my lady, may i help?" the girl let out, clearing her throat when you lifted your head from the pillow. "i can write the e-mail myself, please focus on resting."
after some convincing, you gave in.
and so 10 minutes later, back at ouran, kyouya's phone let out a ting! with your full name on the notification. he'd already guessed you wouldn't show up to your appointment considering you hadn't come to school in three days, and already had someone to fill your place but left it for the last moment in case you did show up.
why? well you were ln yn, and it was painfully obvious you were smitten with his best friend, though he could say it was a bit different from the rest of the clientele.
probably due to the fact that you'd known tamaki for much longer than kyouya had. and yet tamaki didn't seem to have the same fascination with you.
he remembers when he first met you, when he'd heard that you were spoiled rotten and weren't even planning to enroll in ouran until tamaki did. you simply transferred to be with the boy.
literally everyone knew of ln yn's almost freakish obsession with suoh tamaki, except for the victim himself.
so imagine his surprise at the strictly professional e-mail he'd received from you, where not a single mention of your host was included. weird.
after glancing at the french boy in the seat next to him eating his bowl of some-sort-of-commoner-convenience-store lunch, kyouya quickly typed a response and informed the next girl in line that a spot was open 'for tamaki's hosting services at 15:35'.
"one of your appointments cancelled due to a personal issue. we'll have someone else fill it." kyouya told tamaki, just as stated in the e-mail, even though it was pretty clear you were sick, and he couldn't figure out why you'd lie.
"hm? oh, okay!" the brunet smiled and went back to devouring his meal, not thinking much of kyouya's words.
kyouya pondered if he should tell him the client was his loyal friend yn, who would never skip out on seeing tamaki, but he stopped himself, curious as to how it would all play out.
eh, if the twins could have fun, so could he.
"oh! haruhii! daddy's here!"
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the hours passed so slow you were almost convinced time was frozen when you weren't glancing at the clock on your laptop.
the drama you'd been watching started to lose its interest after presenting the third plot twist in a row, annoying you with all the plot holes it left gaping.
sipping on your green tea (you'd been drinking tamaki's recommendation, pomegranate, only to throw all of it in the trash when you heard he gave the same advice to haruhi), you paused the show and sighed in absolute, tyrannical boredom.
by now you'd normally have finished your classes and walked to music room #3, your favourite among them all.
you'd be welcomed by a host and walked to a sofa to wait for your appointment, ignoring any other girl in the waiting area trying to pick a conversation with the middle child of the ln family.
and soon enough you'd be approached by your one and only taking your hand in his and kissing it to greet you, with his blue eyes staring up at you innocently like a man in love; a look he gave to any woman nowadays, it was second nature to him.
you got lost in them so often, he sometimes dared to ask you if you didn't enjoy his company and that's why you spaced out so much.
preposterous.
you? disliking tamaki? how could he think that after all these years you spent playing together, with you transferring to his school for his sake, swallowing your pride and becoming the client of a host for him?
truly an absurd notion.
currently, however, you weren't in the host club. you were just a girl with a bunch of germs crawling everywhere around her room, unable to go out and see the man of her dreams kiss her cheek and tell her to 'get well soon'.
speaking of, your mum grew increasingly concerned when she noticed the lack of communication between you and tamaki. you were always attached to his hip like some sort of koala, and the fact that you hadn't reached out to him to inform him of your illness personally so he could visit you made her worry.
but it was only natural that you'd suspect you were being an annoyance to tamaki once you began to notice his eyes shift from you to the newest host a couple of months prior. he'd been a petit brunet boy. a first year who was friendly and of lowly origin. you didn't think much of it.
at least not until the day hikaru asked if you could fetch something he forgot in the back room, completely ignorant to the fact that haruhi had come to the club early that day to ask for another uniform because she'd been accidentally thrown water at by two classmates of hers being stupid.
so when you opened the curtain and saw a small-sized girl with only her panties on desperately trying to hide herself from you, it didn't take more than a couple of seconds to put two and two together.
tamaki wasn't fascinated by the commoner errand 'boy' turnt host.
he wanted her.
you closed the curtain, giving the girl her privacy back and muttering an curt apology, "sorry." before deciding that hikaru would have to get his things himself.
neither haruhi nor you spoke about it again, and she never snitched to the host club about your discovery of her sex.
you liked to pretend it never happened, and that it never changed anything. but just like with tamaki, pretending doesn't go anywhere. the hints were there. his furiously blushed face when he stared at her, his protection of her when the twins teased her, his demands for kyouya to do things for haruhi because she'd like it, not even because she'd asked - well, the stage of denial didn't last long.
shortly after came anger. pure, unexplainable rage and envy. the fourth of the deadly sins was soon rushing through your veins like a drug you couldn't get clean from. 'why her?' you would ask in your rampages.
you couldn't figure it out, and you couldn't ask anyone either, because as infuriated as you were, hurting haruhi by revealing her identity wasn't on your to-do list.
not because you were a good person, god no.
rather, if tamaki knew you hurt his precious daughter - you barfed - like that, who knows if you'd see him again?
and so came the bargaining stage, with your rage never leaving your blood stream, of course. being petty was always one of your main personality traits, one that tamaki would often point out.
what did fujioka haruhi have that ln yn didn't?
'nothing.' you muttered to yourself.
nothing.
nothing?
could you be absolutely sure?
you didn't see her much outside of the club, and there were a couple of times you'd heard the hosts hung out together.
maybe they had a moment? or two, three?
perhaps it was high time you stopped bothering him. perhaps then he'd realise you were the one.
that's why your texts to him had much lessened, coming to a complete stop after roughly two months of your self-doubt and insecurities getting the best of you. so did your occasional visits to his house for studying. you'd even stopped wearing the perfume he got you as a birthday present last year, even though you couldn't find another scent that fit your tastes the same way.
despite your attempts at catching his attention, the bubbling fury in your chest rose once again when you realised that maybe tamaki didn't care about you at all.
he texted you as much as you texted him, he hung out with you only when you asked, and when he came closer to you and noticed the change in your scent, he went: "different perfume, princess?"
and while normally you'd be ecstatic at him noticing, your happiness was immediately destroyed when "the other one was a little old fashioned, good thing you moved to something more fresh."
why couldn't he say what he would have said had he been in an otome game, something among the lines of: 'did you wish to match mine?' or something cheesy like that? ...was your scent not to his tastes?
'did he forget his skills from hosting or what?' you whined.
consequently, now that you were sitting around doing nothing to reach out to tamaki or any of your 'friends', your mum couldn't help but take her phone in her hands to call her friend hitachiin yuzuha.
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back in the pink room that is the host club, today's rendezvouses seemed to be going by awfully quickly for tamaki.
in the couple of minutes of break he had between the end of this rendezvous and next the one to come, he quickly found his phone from his back pocket and went over his schedule sent by kyouya.
your name had been crossed out and replaced with another one he recognised, another regular guest of his. he raised his eyebrow at that.
he lifted his head and looked for the shadow king.
"hey, kyouya?"
"hm?" kyouya didn't bother to look up from his laptop, furiously typing god-knows-what.
"why's yn's time gone?" he asked innocently in a curious voice that had you heard, you'd be swooning over.
"i told you, she cancelled due to personal business," his answer was straight-forward "although it's probably because she's ill."
ah, that makes sense, you were the one that cancelled.
wait, huh?
"what do you mean she's ill?" his eyebrows furrow a bit and he cocks his head to the side like a cute dog who doesn't understand anything its owner says.
"what do you mean, 'what do i mean'? she's been absent since monday because she's not feeling well, and she won't come today either. pretty simple." kyouya finally looked up at tamaki with a strange expression on his face. "has she not told you?"
tamaki shook his head a bit, "uhm.. no, not really." and tapped his phone again to check his messages on multiple social media apps to make sure he wasn't missing anything. his emails were empty too, only some spam from a newsletter page that he never bothered to cancel his subscription from.
"how do you know?" he questioned kyouya, but before he could answer, "no wait, don't answer that, you creep. of course you know." he sighed.
after some seconds of quiet thinking, "why didn't you tell me?" tamaki continued his questioning.
"everyone already knows, my lord." an awfully familiar voice butt in making the french boy turn his head around, resting his hand on his waist.
the voice belonged to kaoru, who had his arm wrapped around his twin's shoulders. seems like they also just finished with an appointment.
"what does that mean? who's 'everyone' and why am i not included?" tamaki crossed his arms, feeling kind of left out.
"that guy hayato or whatever who hangs out with yn and her friends was telling someone and we overheard." hikaru shrugged in unison with his doppelganger.
honey's soft voice entered the chat. "you mean hinata-kun? yn-chan's friend? yeah, he told me when i asked where yn-chan is because i thought she forgot to bring the candy she promised." he quickly grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge near where kyouya had been sitting and left the room swiftly.
huh, how convenient for him to enter for the plot.
"and why's it that you two evil bastards didn't bother to tell me?" tamaki exclaimed in disbelief, pointing a finger at the both of them. how could they? his precious childhood friend was sick at home and he didn't know?!
"sorry milord-" kaoru announced with his shoulders still raised, "-but you're always talking to yn-" hikaru joined, "-how were we supposed to know you're not asking her about her well-being?" they delivered the finishing blow together.
what were these lame jerks insinuating? 'not asking about her well-being'? what did they know? just as he went to respond with his usual barking, he stopped himself to instead text you on his own for the first time in a while. not that he noticed.
the twins looked at their king with a confused and weirded-out expression on both their faces, before glancing at each other and shrugging again, already disinterested. kyouya had long gone back to his work and so the twins walked to an empty sofa in an almost isolated area of the club, lying on top of one another to give a nice view to whichever client was into it.
about six minutes of pure silence passed between the two before kaoru's phone buzzed; a text from his mum.
the twins read the text simultaneously, with hikaru raising an eyebrow at its contents. they looked back at the slender boy texting you on his phone at the other end of the club, confused about his behaviour.
"seriously...?" hikaru quietly asked kaoru, referring to the text, only to be met with the other's puzzled expression.
as for the half-and-half boy, his fingers were anxiously tapping kyouya's table and awaiting your response to his message.
tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: Hey darling! Is everything alright? I heard you didn't come to school because you're sick. I thought you just didn't feel like coming. Why didn't you tell me?
he didn't know you let out a deep sigh at his text, even if it was three days late. it gave you hope - false hope. that he'd started to pay attention to you again. maybe being distant worked-
tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: want me to come over?
the question felt natural to him, you always visited his home but seldom did he ever visit yours. since you were sick, it made sense that you wouldn't come over this time.
yn>.&lt; : arent u busy rn tho lol
your name on his phone had obviously been put there by you, his choice of emoji had been party hat for some reason.
"be serious, what does that even mean, tamaki?" you'd asked him one day during a break from your studying in his room.
"you don't like it..?" he pouted like usual and you rolled your eyes.
"here. that's better." you handed him his phone back with a new 'yn >.<' as your contact name.
tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I can just come after club activities.
wait, he was actually coming? after two months of your only contact being through your rendezvous? it worked?! it actually worked?!
you thought of how to answer him.
at your lack of fast response, tamaki thought of ways to help you feel better through your illness.
'aha! eureka!' tamaki's head echoed.
tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I'll bring some commoner snacks we can enjoy too! Commoners have incredible food to help alleviate illness!
tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: What are you even sick with, anyway?
of course.
commoner food, of course.
haruhi's food.
yn>.&lt; : lol no its fine i dont want u to get sick. ill just c u at sxhool yn>.&lt; : school* yn>.< : doc said its just a cold but yk w my asthma n shit
tamaki was thoroughly disappointed with your response, what did you mean 'you didn't want him to get sick'? you'd never cared if you caught his cold.
his heart raced with worry, and he decided he would stop by anyway. knowing his next appointment was approaching, he speed walked over to the newest host.
"haaaaruuhiiiiii!" he waved his hand to her and her two clients, smiling widely with all of them smiling back at him.
"yeah? what is it, senpai?" haruhi looked up at him from her armchair.
"sorry to intrude-" he runs his hair through his locks - an action that you told him the ladies would swoon over, "-but i was wondering, do you have any recommendations for commoner food that sick people can eat?"
"...are you serious?"
166 notes · View notes
sabh0 · 21 days
Note
What's your opinion on the anime? I find it pretty funny, but I can't say that I am not disappointed to see so many scenes missing.
For exemple, I wanted to see Dazai cry laugh at Chuuya's young mistress act, show that it was a joke shared by both of them, rather than one made to us at the expense of Chuuya. They took a genuinely funny moment and made me cringe SO hard for no reason T^T
God i could go on for hours about how Bones ruined this series. I'm obviously thankful we have an anime adaptation but. Well just compare bsd anime to jjk one or smth and yeah.
I will be complaining more under the cut,,
First the overall writing choices:
-Deleting or changing skk scenes to the point im not even shocked when ppl think these two actually somehow hate each other.
-The way they portrayed Sigma. They deleted half of his personality and backstory. And just speedrunned the Sky Casino arc like if seeing that place was giving them nightmares. No wonder he gets mischaracterized now.
-Tachihara's internal conflict about belonging to either Port Mafia or The Hunting Dogs? Bones never heard about it. It's not like IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT.
-Akutagawa's whole character in the anime is just 'edgy and angry and bad grr'. In the manga he had some 'kind' or even seelf-reflection moments that were ommited in the anime. Like where he realizes defeating Atsushi didn't satisfy him (ship fight, season 1). Or when he gives files about the orphanage Director to Atsushi and says he won't fight him today because he lost someone impirtant to him. Sskk vs Fukuchi fight?? No scene where Sskk r helping each other walk. Instead we get Akutagwa just pushing Atsushi away. Won't even start on that last smile that looked more like another angry expression.
-THE WAY THEY CHANGED "DAZAI'S ENTRANCE EXAM" INTO SOME CURRENT TIMELINE EPISODES. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY LIKE. THIS NOVEL WAS SO GOOD. Showing both Dazai and Kunikida's characters and partnership so well. But no. Let's just??? Put Atsushi there. Let's delete the fact this thing happened 2 years ago. And let's delete everything that was actually important about it, too.
-also some changes in the Dark Era arc. Like. Lord. Dazai is so much more emotional in the novel. His expressions r described so well. But the anime either shows him from the back at those moments (him finding out Oda was almost killed by a sniper in Ango's room) or just deletes/changes the thing (Oda dying. This scene is so emotional in the novel. From the description u can tell Dazai was crying/on the verge of it as Odasaku died. But in the anime he looks calm and then we get a far aeay frame and he just. Gets up and that's it yeah.) They also deleted the scene of him visiting Oda's grave.
-The way they rushed seasons 4 and 5. Just to give us an episode that goes further than the manga and has the shittiest writing ever when it comes to skk's plan revelation (im so angry about this u guys have no idea. I sincerely believe that if this episode never came out, the manga would go differently bc there's no way that Asagiri who wrote things like Stormbringer suddenly thought that some dollar store vampire make up will fool a guy who's centuries old and literally lived next to vampires. But well!! Seems like these two speeches Dazai gave weren't important at all and now we can just forget about them yippiee)
I could definitely mention WAYY more examples of that but this is already long af. Like guys. I know u cant fit everything in an animated show. It takes time to make it and all but. Bro. The character's in the anime r so shallow compared to their original versions.
.
Now onto the artstyle of the anime.
Lord. U know? It was actually pretty in the first 2 seasons. The official arts at the time were also really nice to look at.
No idea what happened later. Why did Bones suddenly decide that those ugly turtle smiles r gonna become the main thing in the character design. Why so many fisheyes. Atp sometimes i look at the official art and i go oh lord even i could fix it. It really feels like they draw some characters ugly on purpose now (Chuuya being the main victim for unknown reasons).
Tho i must say they have their moments even now. Some last episodes of season 5 weren't really bad, especially the Meursault part (love them for animating Dazai and Sigma dancing so well. And for that 101 animation. And maybe for the heartattack they gave me with 109 and Chuuya shooting Dazai so many times.)
.
On some other things, i really like the music! Bsd openings and endings never miss,,,
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quodekash · 17 days
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I didnt get enough sleep last night but its not my fault qtoey fuckin kissed
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hes literally the most babygirl in this entire show
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HIM FRANTICALLY CLEANING UP I LOVE HIM SM
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I love this more than I can ever possibly describe
it's so silly
so goofy
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HES SO GOOFY
they should kiss again I think
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babes your voice just got three octaves higher, do better at lying next time
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who the FUCK is this guy and why is he being introduced in episode 7 of 16 (apparently 16??? it's wild that this show is supposed to be 16 episodes long (according to mdl?) cos we're not even halfway through the show and 2 out of 4 of the main couples have officially kissed, and 1 is officially together. which is insane when you think about how msp is 12 episodes long and tinngun didnt properly kiss til thE END OF THE LAST FUCKING EPISODE)
(no im never getting over this, they COULD have counted 67 FUCKING TIMES throughout the show and they fucking DIDNT)
anyway this guy is probably gonna be a main part of the drama that's gonna go down in order to keep this show long enough 😭
why cant we just keep the light and fluffy show as it is and keep spreading joy and dopamine straight to my bones
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two adorable little munchkins standing next to each other
theyre my sons
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THAT LITTLE GIGGLE I CANT
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whAT rEAlLY???
he asked if he could hit on you, then asked if he could KISS you, AND THEN YALL FUCKIN MADE OUT IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
AND THEN WHEN YOU SAW HIM TODAY, HE MADE SILLY KISSY LIPS AT YOU
so I suggest you all give up on this "plan", and change to this real plan: march up to him, ask him out, plant a kiss on his cheek, take your fuckin artist easels and canvases to a fuckin beach at sunset, paint and make out
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oml pun's an astrology girlie
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HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING
what the fuck no why does it look like its gonna get angsty, I cant do this :(
dont make me watch toey sob, I dont want that, I want them to make out again :((
im so confused dude why is he so angry
I genuinely dont get it
I mean im watching at 2x speed so I can get through this quickly so I might've missed some dialogue somewhere or smth, but still
why's he angry
idk why he's angry but I do know one thing: satang is too fucking good at portraying anguish
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im too tired to process words so im not entirely sure what he means but I think it sounds poetic so we're gonna go with that
(ahem) THATS SO BEAUTIFUL WTF
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WHAT THE FUCK
brb just gonna rip my fucking SOUL out
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"its like im sitting in a vast grassy field with a gentle breeze under a bright sky" OKAY WTF ARE THE GMM WRITERS READING MY TUMBLR POSTS OR SMTH
THATS LITERALLY HOW I DESCRIBED THE WAY WIN PROBABLY FEELS ABOUT SOUND
its why his heart doesnt beat fast for sound, he just doesnt have that kind of crush, its more of a relaxing crush, like a gentle breeze
ill fucking find the post if I can
I literally wrote an extended metaphor poem combined with a fic about it
what the fuck dude
if they're watching my posts then why havent they given us my satang and perth siblings agenda yet
and where is the markford series
gmm I know you're looking at this, answer my fucking questions guys
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I LOVE THEIR FRIEND GROUP SO FUCKING MUCH DUDE
they all just make me so happy 😭😭😭
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okay but he didnt know you were milk frappe boy when hE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH YOU IN A HAUNTED HOUSE
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theyre holdin hansssss
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is what I think and want to happen about to happen
that wasnt grammar but its fine
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THEYF CYKING END IT THERE??
BUT HES ALL PUCKERED UP
HES READY
ALSO THEYRE IN A SCHOOL HALLWAY AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY
WTF
I HAVE TO WAIT A FUCKING WEEK TO FEEL JOY????
COME ON MAN
oh fuck yes next week theyre goi g to a volunteer camp
volunteer camp episodes are always comfort episodes so thjis is gonna be GOOD
PUN DID IT BC HE WANTS QTOEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER??? BRO HE'STHE WINGMAN OF ALL TIME
well anyway I just wanna see qtoey kiss again :(
ill rewatch that one scene in the meantime
buhbye for now my friends, see yous next week
43 notes · View notes
kibblemaniac · 4 months
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(tumblr why do you hate me and wont let me format how i want on mobile)
is February too early to celebrate nightmare night ?
(infodump)i wish i had written this last night when i was thinking about it more, somehow got attached to these designs. if i were to turn it into some sort of comic or show or smth, but thatll never happen probably. also note that i didnt read all of these fics sooi like to imagine that these evil versions are like, parts of each pony that they cant accept about themselves and pretend its not there. and then through some sort of mirror pool incedent, these parts that they cant accept are personified(ponified?) and go around causing trouble.raritys is pretty obvious, if you know anything abt lil miss rarity then you know why itd be hard for her to accept that part of herself. twilights would be a mix of a messed up sense of curiosity and intrusive thoughts. like a "hmm what if i did this to that" "what if i used that pony as a guinea pig" aj i cant decide to go for a more in character one or more grim dark accurate. the in character one would be bottling up emotions until they explode. the more grim dark accurate one would be using the potion in the fic as a metaphor for drug addiction. either way she isnt being honest to herself.pinkie and fluttershy are pretty similar, i think they just have violent urges and mental health issues n stuff.i cant figure out what rds would be but tbh i dont really care enough about rd to figure a good one. maybe shes just struggling to accept her cringey interests?
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stateswscarlet · 6 months
Note
hi this is the 3p person. how do i stop feeling like im doing this to change the 3D? can i acknowledge that it will change the 3D? im just confused. this manifested really fast but ive fulfilled myself with the state of being with him a bunch so why didnt that reflect like this? idk. im just scared im gonna imagine and enjoy it and nothing will reflect. i was thinking of getting coaching with you because idk what to do anymore. i hate my 3D. i just miss sp.
you need to give up on the 3D fully. you need to accept and acknowledge you (all of us) CANNOT change the 3D, we do not have the free will to do that as our free will ends in imagination. you must really sit with this and decide if you'd rather be trying to chase a shadow world and be frustrated, or would you rather 100% enjoy your imagination and feel good and be stressfree? hopefully the latter. we don't do anything to change the 3D as imagination and who were are is CONSTANTLY reflected, even before you knew about this stuff. we cant make it or un-make it reflect as creation is finished hence why we shift states. knowing the 3D changes is very different than chasing it and doing things for the 3D. the 3D will never fulfill you, only YOU choose how things fulfill you or if they even do at all. you need to understand you only want the feeling, not the actual; physical desire.
its like your shadow, do you only walk and move just so your shadow moves? or do you move because you want to? your 3d is the same, you're not constantly thinking of your shadow when you're doing things because the LAW is that its always there anyways. the law shouldn't be a comfort factor for you because it just is.
as i said in the previous ask about your situation. I'm pretty sure you haven't been fulfilling yourself as much as you think you were, and you were fulfilling yourself for stuff that wasn't even your end goal.
youre relying too much on the 3D and seeing this as smth you have to do to get them back and that is exactly where you're going wrong, you need to give up on changing the 3D completely, as edward art says you need to imagine as if there was no outer world bc the outer world has never fulfilled you and never will.
i get missing sp and those feelings are valid, but you need to realize that your life isn't going to end if you're not with them. manifesting an sp shouldn't be something you need, its something you CAN have and definitely shouldn't be approached from a desperate/needy mindset because that will lead to codependent (not saying you are like this but I'm putting it out there in case there are others). please stop revolving your life around an sp and put your crown back on. YOU made sp special, YOU are the secret sauce, they're just some random who YOU decided means something. you need to realize that (manifestation stuff aside) you will 10000% will ok if you don't be with them because you're more than content on your own and can date anyone else. i say this with love but as someone who was in your shoes and knows how it feels, you will only be running in circles if you don't approach this from a healthier mindset. work on your self concept (don't tie it to manifesting ur sp at all) and LIVE your life, do things that you enjoy, have fun/date around with other people (if you have the chance to bc remember that you're not pretending, you are single in the 3D), and stop trying to get back someone. give yourself the feelings of your dream relationship first and how it makes YOU feel, then add sp into the equation. you don't want them back, you want a fulfilling relationship. how would you feel if they came back tomorrow yet the same issues happened as they did back when you were together before/theyre just not good/the relationship sucks? that isn't what you want, you want the fulfilling relationship so focus on aspects about that and give those to yourself. you don't want their physical body back bc it means nothing to you unless you get the feelings you desire.
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em0-alpaca · 5 months
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after like over half a year or smth i finally finished him
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meet Dante, the master of light!!! [srry for the bad english, i dont think ive ever written lore for any of my ocs lol]
HIS LORE IS STILL A WIP SO SOME THINGS MIGHT NOT WORK WITH CANON!! [i might miss some details, but thats because i dont wanna write too much]
plus in my au, Wu met Morro when the Elemental Alliance was created already and before Acronix and Krux betrayed them. [if.. thats not already canon lol, i dont keep up with when anything happened]
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THE PAST:
[12-16 y.o.]
- He was one of the most determined and challenging teenagers, training hard.
- Dante has been the youngest member of the Elemental Alliance, making him the main interest as every single elemental master trained him. [his parents went to a journey, leaving him with Wu ans Garmadon at the monastery and they never came back. no one knows what happened to them, although, that didnt effected him much as he was often left with Wu.]
- when Dante was 16 years old, Morro was taken in under the blonde man wings. At first he didnt like it, but after some time he grew warmer to the jet-black haired boy, taking him for a younger brother and training with him. He mightve gotten more protective over him.
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- Dante, too, believed that Morro was the green ninja after Wu talked about it, encouraging him and and lifting his hopes up subconsiously. the rest of the story is obvious.. this was one of the moments that really affected him.
- as he watched the EA fall apart, he craved for more power to fight against evil and find his little brother. he was told his whole life that he should never take his power for granted as its one of the strongest elements, especially with him being exposed to the main source of light very often. Dante, on the other hand, couldnt really deal with others leaving.
HIS ABILITIES:
- can bend and materialize light into weapons [his weapon of choice were mostly his light blades, but anything dual wielded was fine for him].
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- he could move at the speed of light, often did it to attack his enemies from suprise [not a stealthy ability as he leaves glowing bright lights behind him when using it].
- can flashbang others by either throwing a small light ball at their eyes or snapping his fingers.
- as hes pretty strong during sunny days, at night and on cloudy days he usually uses weapons from Wu. [that doesnt mean he cant use his elemental power, but during his youth his power wasnt so strong with absence of the sun. it only changed what weapons he uses though]
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[18- 27y.o.?]
- one night after sneaking out to clear his mind, a strange figure approached him. it was a tall one, hidden under the black cloak. everyone knew who Dante was, so with no beating around the bush, the mysterious man gave him an offer in joining him. green haired boy declined his offer immediately, but after what he heard he was shocked.. the mysterious man told him that he would help him find his so-called younger brother.
- after making him believe he can erase the evil from all of the ninjago he joined the cult. They burned the mark on his face to officialy take him as their member, making him their leader. the longer he stayed with them, the more corrupted and brainwashed he was, turning him into their weapon. they formed a plan, making an elemental burst and trying to erase "the evil".
- one day, he started his journey to look for Morro, going for days and days into every part of Ninjago, only to find his cold body in the Cave of Despair. he grieved him for a good few hours before finding a field to bury him and let him rest in peace.
- his desire for ubspeakable strenght grew bigger, forcing him into trying to create artificial element of light and mixing it with his own. this, unfortunalety, worked horribly with his mental state and making him more of a villain. when he attacked the city once, Wu was devastated and tried to help him. this lead them to have a fight with Wu desparately trying to convince him and change his mind. Wu after that meeting tried to talk with other elemental masters to stop Dante.
- when the city got under Dantes control after the cult betrayed him and he fought with the new-built Elemental Alliance, he used the Elemental burst. unfortunately, his light element mixed with the artificial one made him fail to destroy anything other the city. this, made him half-blind and left him scarred on his limbs, losing his power.
- after that he finally snapped out of his sinister desires and managed to ran away unnoticed from the city somewhere far away.
PRESENT [WIP]:
[30↑]
- he lives far far away from the town and anyone else in a small cottage house out of shame.
- if necessary, he comes out of the house in disguise to buy some food. hes had various jobs already, but his bad eyesight [no glasses helped with his vision] he couldnt work in too many for too long.
- his elemental power was slowly recovering, but due to the fact that it was corrupted and mixed with the artificial one, it was infecting his body, making it age slower and weakening him over time.
- after so many years he started recieving money in his mail.. perhaps from someone with a kind heart?
- he tries to stay away from anyone with elements and people who couldve been a part of a terror he caused, especially away from Wu.
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ive been thinking of making another oc [his child] so for now im not planning on adding too much!!
im not really sure what to add to him in present Dante, but im up for any ideas. :) also i was too lazy to draw more doodles lol!
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send-me-a-puffalope · 5 months
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@hearts4ggy ever since your one doodle about Michael and Vanessa as kids,,, I cant stop thinking about that AU. It’s such a satisfying mixture of the story of the games and the movies GAHHHHH
Michael is the oldest Afton kid, Vanessa is either his twin or a little younger, and Evan is the youngest. Mike and Vanny are partners in crime as teens, though Michael is more hotheaded and a troublemaker while Vanessa is meeker and tends to get dragged into his pranks. Cue the Bite of 83’, with Michael in the fox mask and Vanessa in the rabbit mask (I was thinking smth like this rather than her iconic Vanny mask to match Michael’s a little better)
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The death of Evan causes them to drift apart, the final catalyst being the MCI. Michael and Vanessa witness it a la FNAF movie lore. Both are horrified but Michael chooses to run away while Vanessa stays, in fear of being their father’s next victim if she fails to get away. She never escapes from under William’s thumb.
I haven’t fully thought through the middle section but generally, the idea is that Freddy’s shuts down and years pass. William and Vanessa almost seem to disappear off the face of the planet, Michael seemingly the only one able to escape the gravity that was the MCI tragedy. but almost a decade later, people have been going missing around the abandoned Freddy’s again and Michael (who never really got over what happened) suspects that William is back.
Michael goes to investigate only to find himself face to face with, not William, but Vanessa. His shy younger sister. Only now she has a lot more blood on her hands.
Smth smth the fox and the rabbit switching roles right??? I love FNAF’s reverse food chain, it’s so compelling.
I haven’t thought much past this point but I feel like it’s gotta eventually converge into the death of William Afton somehow. There’s not exactly a small child like Abby to be in danger but I can see Michael getting lured back every night by the ghost of Evan like Mike is by Garrett in the movie. Perhaps Michael is able to convince Vanessa that he’s gonna get her out of there. William comes to the pizzeria as Springbonnie cause he finds out Michael is back, Vanessa turns the animatronics against William because they see her as one of them but still gets stabbed.
and there can be like a sweet heartfelt moment of Michael and Vanessa in the hospital and her waking up like “You kept your promise, you got me out.” and Mike being super guilty about her getting hurt and her replying “Well I’m still alive, arent I? That’s all that matters.” and woo peace and love on planet earth. family reunited. until william always comes back or whatever.
90% sure all of this is just nonsense word vomit but that one doodle really just drove the brainrot crazy.
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kristiliqua · 8 months
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im just thinking about wil’s stream today and how much it revealed abt q!wilbur’s character based off of his actions and behavior . help .
(TLDR at the end)
likeee . bro was so quick to draw conclusions , assume , and then put blame on others , despite have little to no information on literally anything abt the eggs’ disappearance . he was quick to blame everyone who was active on the server , saying that the eggs are still missing bc they “havent tried hard enough” and are just “doing nothing” , in terms of searching for them — all of which is untrue , but he says it as if its a fact anyway . even finding q!cellbit sus and not trusting him , despite knowing (again) little to nothing abt the guy , about his character and who he’s like as a person (that he cares a fuck ton abt the eggs and has been trying so hard to find any clues as to where they are) , the fact that he’s been gathering all the info he could ever since they disappeared (and before that , with other shit) . but he blames and finds him suspicious anyway .
he blames everyone else , when everything is and has been out of their control . they dont know much and Cant know much bc they know jack shit abt what could Actually be happening with the eggs . they only have theories and ideas
realistically , the thing q!wilbur should blame is ,, whoever or Whatever took the eggs away . but since he doesnt know wtf thatd be , its not as easy or assuring as it were to be if he blamed it on an actual Person or people he knows , instead of smth he doesnt know at all . its easier for his grief , to blame someone for the cause of it , to be angry and upset at someone . a physical person he can blame . and this irrational/illogical behavior is probably caused by the , yk . reasonably upset reaction that came with the bad news of his daughter being gone
plus the way he went to just ,, do it all by himself , despite the Very limited intel he had , saying that theyll never find the eggs if they just “follow the rules” (in his words) and all “do the same thing” . so he does it his own way , searching for any clues on anything , despite knowing practically nothing abt anything thats happened these past few months . even tho he knows that , logically , everyone else on the island probably has a bunch of info already , info that they could give him to help in his search (bc they all have the same goal in mind) . but instead he’s stubborn and doesnt want anybody else’s help , thinking theyre too incompetent and dont care enough abt the eggs — so he does it by himself , all up until someone reaches out to help him , rather than him asking for help himself (that someone being q!phil) . and in his attempts he ofc fails miserably , bc he Doesnt Know Anything . he has limited access to everything that could potentially be helpful (doesnt know where or what the order is and barely has any waypoints , only checking his and tallulah’s and the outside of phil’s house) , and so he’s basically working with fucking scraps . like itd literally be Impossible for him to find the eggs all by himself , he Needs the help from the others in order to make even a little bit of actual progress (so everyone thank q!phil for pulling up even after their little argument)
and logically (bc he isnt Stupid) , he probably Knows that . he knows that the others very likely care abt the eggs as much as he does (bc why would they all be gathering up for this mission thats For the eggs if they didnt .?) and have far more info than he could ever get by himself , bc he’s been gone for months and hasnt been caught up on anything of actual importance . but he was so upset and quick to blame everyone else (the mfs who could actually Help him and Know Shit) that he shut them off , going off by himself . esp after q!phil lashed out at him
anddd maybe there was a little spite or pettiness in there too , him wanting to prove that he can do it better than them , that he can get more than theyve ever gotten since they “didnt try hard enough” n all , and him finding shit out in a single day would be a huge testament to that idea . but ofc that didnt happen lmfao — he was practically playing a big guessing game with the info he had (or the lack thereof)
TLDR — i just find it interesting that q!wilbur was so quick to jump to conclusions and to push blame onto anyone and everyone he could , even tho he barely knows anyone on the island anymore . the way he went to take matters into his own hands , bc if theyre not gonna do anything abt it , then he will (,,, Not . bro was So lost)
just . what an interesting fella . what fun characterization . what a silly guy who is mourning the loss of his daughter (he is in denial)
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ashipiko · 11 months
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“This summer that I spent with you? I’ll never, eeever forget it!”
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UGH. KAZBANTEN. MY WEAKNESS IM SO BUMMED THEY DONT HAVE CONTENT WITH ALL THREE OF THEM…… CAN SOMEONE WRITE A FIC OR SMTH WHERE ALL THREE OF EM GO HANG OUT AND HAVE FUN??????? LIKE….. SWEET SWEET POTENTIAL I’m telling y’all my top 3 in games never miss as a dynamic!!!!!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THO. SO I HAD TO DRAW SMTH FOR THEM i can’t stop thinking of them!!!!
HEADCANONS FOR THEM UNDER CUT!
—Tenma and Banri once invited Kazunari ONCE to a karaoke outing and now it doesn’t feel the same without him. they sing either the most beautiful song w 10/10 harmonization or bankaz make it unhinged while tenma laughs while trying to join in
—Kazunari and Banri have both starred in Tenma’s MVs or movies 🫶 first time it happened and Tenma told em Banri spat out his drink onto Kazunari and all hell broke loose
—They go on cafe outings to talk about their ✨feelings✨ <3 like “how’s your love life going?” “none of your business” “oh so you’re bitchless” “WHAT” they are each others wingmen!!!!!!!!! MSKZ AND TNYK CONTENT FOR ME (I do not ship banri w anyone in canon 😔)
—they also go on runs!!! Tenma leads and Banri follows easily while Kazunari freaking DIES its so. “CAN YOU GUYS STOP HOLY *WHEEZE* I CANT. I CANT. LET ME PAINT LET ME DRINK PAINT WATER AAAAhgah” “kazunari we’ve barely passed a mile???”
—they bully eachother. they gang up on eachother and also betray eachother CONSTANTLY. banri has thrown hands with tenma and kazunari has it in his favorites folder
—they have a tiktok just to do trends 🙏 tenma only participated in the “non-stupid ones where I can just dance in peace” but like half of the TikTok’s are pranking tenma
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