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correctthroam · 4 months

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I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.

Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.

Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.

Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.

final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)

Thanks for reading lol

#brendon urie #ryden #the heart rate of a mouse #throam #ryan ross #panic! at the disco #p!atd #patd #pretty. odd.#spencer smith #jon walker

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weixuldo · 11 months

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Enigma// ch 13

anakin x reader

a/n: sorry for the wait!!! i started a summer job and i’ve been hellllllaaaa busy lol- dw tho, im still writing!!

You have a relaxing dinner with Ahsoka until the end of the year approaches

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mention of periods, possible pregnancy mention,

_______________________________

More time passed and you prepped for finals; luckily this year you were able to exempt most of your sit in exams and instead only had one big project and a 20 page thesis due.

You had been feeling nauseous for the past few days but the 20 page paper’s deadline was looming over you, so it was probably the stress from that. You also hadn’t had much time to eat, so you could also just be hungry.

You ignored the feeling and went back to typing.

The paper was almost done, only two more pages then you were free for the weekend.. Just two more.

Ring Ring

Ahsoka was calling, you finished the sentence you were on before picking up the phone.

“Hey”

Hey hey! Are you busy tonight?

“I should be free after one more page of this thing”

Damn! Congrats! You've been at that shit since mid terms! I think that deserves celebration!

You laughed, hopefully she wasn’t proposing a party because you weren't quite feeling up to that.

“What do you have in mind?”

I dunno… wanna just grab take out and eat it by the koi pond? I kinda just want a chill night before I have to start practice for nationals.

“That sounds wonderful”

Cool! I'll see you at 6:30?

“Sounds good to me!”

Oki bye bye!

The end of the line clicked as she hung up and a small smile settled onto your face; even though you hadn’t known Ahsoka that long, the two of you just clicked and were almost always on the same wavelength.

Some of you wanted to tell her about Anakin, but you just felt like at this point it would add drama to the already stressful end of the year.

You were seen as the baby of the friend group, so you wouldn’t know how they would feel if you and Anakin officially confirmed the relationship…Also Ahsoka could be a little dramatic at times and you were afraid she would become too involved and make jokes or treat you and Ani differently.

And you had known Anakin long enough to know that those small changes would piss him off and he might accidentally take it out on the relationship.

You got back to your computer when you got a really bad cramp in your abdomen.

Oh fuck, you hadn’t gotten your period on its normal week so apparently its deciding to come now…great, something else to add to your delightful week.

You finally finished your paper and let out a long groan as you stretched your back. You grabbed your keys and headed down to meet Ahsoka outside the dorms. Once the two of you met up and got your food, you walked to the koi pond on the northern side of campus.

The sun was setting and the sky was a mixture of beautiful oranges and pinks; you took a seat on the iron bench that overlooked the gardens surrounding the koi pond.

“This is so nice, I needed to chill,” Ahsoka said, breaking apart the cheap wooden chopsticks that came with her bento box.

“Yea, I feel ya” you said opening the box of lo mein you ordered.

“Ya know, I cant believe i’m gonna be graduating in just a few weeks… Like what the actual fuck, I swear I was just a freshman like two weeks ago” Ahsoka baffled as she watched the fish swim laps around the pond.

“Oh yea, I wanted to get a brunch with all of us next sunday before I have to go to nationals, would you be able to come?” she added.

“Yes! I’d love to” you responded, before remembering that would be one of the last times you would see her before her graduation.

“I’m going to miss you so much Ahsoka” you said sadly, “Will you keep in touch?”

“Does a fish need water? Of course y/n!” she smiled; “you’re my best girl friend; sure sky guy and Ben are nice, but they're not another girl. And I like Satine alot, but she's older and in a totally different place in life than us, ya know?”

“Yea, I’m glad we met too” you smiled.

You conversed over random topics and future plans-

“Do you think you’ll party a lot next year?” she asked you

“Hmm, I don’t think so”

“Why not? Don’t you wanna find a partner or atleast a hook-up?” She asked, biting down on her last California roll.

“I’m actually pretty content, I think most of my party phase was exhausted freshman and sophomore year”

“Yea, I get it, I really only kept going out cause the team likes to go to the big parties. Kinda changing topics though, are you interested in anyone this year?”

You froze for a split second before bringing the noodles to your mouth, “Not really, I mean I’ve been seeing this guy off campus, but I wanna keep it on the dl and so does he” you responded (you didn’t have the heart to completely lie to her).

“Ooo, is he cute? How old is he? What's his name? Does he have socials? I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my girl”

“Hah, that's a lot. Umm, I think he's cute, he doesn’t use social media much, and he’s just a bit older” (yeah right, more like twice your age).

“Ok….what's his name?” she asked again, a devious grin on her face.

You smiled and looked away, “Ahsoka, I love you, but I can't tell you, I promised him we’d keep it under wraps… He’s a very private person”

“Do I know him?” she definitely was gonna guess it if she kept at the questions.

You took all the power you could to construct a final lie, “no, I met him on a dating app”.

“Oh, never mind I guess, I’m happy for you!”

Phew.

You were not practiced in lying.

“Thanks, I really like him… I think I may be in love…I’ve never felt this way before” you smiled.

“That’s amazing, y/n. Will I meet him some day?”

“Of course”

The rest of dinner was pleasant, until your stomach started hurting again.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I think I'm just gonna get my period soon” you said.

“Wait, shouldn’t you have gotten it like two weeks ago?”

Huh?

“Yea, remember, we’re kind of synced, You’ve been starting yours half way through my cycle since like September”

“Oh, I think it's just late from the stress”

“Hopefully so” she laughed, “Wouldn’t want that mystery man to have knocked you up”.

She was joking, but something in you became worried… it had been a long time since your last period… and you and Anakin had been pretty busy…but wait

Anakin couldn’t have kids.

The doctors said so.

But what if…

You shook the thoughts from your head and asked Ahsoka if she would come with you to the drug store to pick up some tums for the stomach ache.

She went off to go look at the shampoo because she needed some more and you sneaked off to grab a pregnancy test.

While you were in line you decided to update your boyfriend on the night’s conversation

“Hey babe, just fyi Ahsoka was asking about who i was seeing so i lied and said a guy from tinder, just wanted to lyk”

In no time your phone buzzed

Alright, thanks for covering, have a good night princess.

“Goodnight my love”

___________________________________

The week went by and you only had the project to finish. Most of your academic stress was subsided, but your personal stress grew by the day.

You hadn't opened the pregnancy test you got last week… you couldn’t bring yourself to.

Maybe it was because you hadn't had time…

oh who were you kidding?

You were scared.

But if you were pregnant, you should probably find out soon. Right?

Right.

You went into the bathroom and locked the door.

This was it.

The moment of truth.

***

a/n: so this ch was more of a filler to get to the next few chapters…. the plot is thickening and i hope your interest stays!! ty again for reading :)

taglist: : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana

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neteyamb · 1 year

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ashes to ashes: chapter two

pairing: loak x f!omatikaya reader

summary: as a healer, y/n had taken an oath to treat every patient with their best interests in mind. this hadn’t been a problem, until loak’s petty injuries become a routine. she has to swallow her pride and feign concern, feign kindness, and face the ugly hate that has been brewing between them for years.

tags: enemies to lovers, best friend kiri, mentions of blood, tension

word count: 1.6k

notes: i literally put one (1) drink into my system and feel the overwhelming urge to write them making out sloppily but i CANT yet. bear with me.

⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

billie bossa nova

love when it makes you lose your bearings / it might be more of an obsession / you better lock your phone / and look at me when you're alone / won't take a lot to get you goin' / i'm sorry if it's torture though / that heavy breathin' on the floor / i’m yours, i'm yours

nova – a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity

maiya’s eyes were locked on you as you watched loak storm out of the hut, tail swishing wildly behind him. your shoulders were tense, and you stared at his back with a blaze flickering behind your eyes as if you were attempting to burn a hole straight through him. she pursed her lips before giving a resigned sigh. “y/n, dear, a healer must welcome someone in need with open arms. i realize you two have… issues, but eywa has chosen this path for you. do not throw it away for this boy. you have a strong heart and gentle hands, you will grow to be a fine healer.”

your stomach dipped at her words, surprised by the comforting gesture. you were happy to work alongside such an understanding woman, but you felt misplaced as a medicine man. the title weighed heavy on your conscience; everytime you were faced with a bloodied guest, you doubted the purity of your morals. were you even upstanding enough for them to put their trust in you? a twinge of guilt filled your lungs, compromised your senses, and made your cheeks darken in shame under her kind eyes. you turned towards her and offered what you hoped was more of a smile than a grimace before resuming your work.

✶✶✶✶

your apprenticeship left ample room for free time. you wandered the archery grounds, absentmindedly shuffling the stones under your feet. kiri would meet you there shortly for a round of target practice. you admired the way she carried herself, unburdened by responsibilities. this wasn’t to say that kiri didn’t have responsibilities; she frequently prepared meals with her mother, watched over tuk, and wove beautiful clothing articles for her siblings. sometimes she could even be found working with remedies at your side. but she was a free spirit, balancing these tasks with ease. no singular label tied her down.

as she approached the clearing, you offered her a beaming smile and waved her over with a bow in your hand. “hey girl, long time no see!” she shouted from the trees. “i saw you yesterday, kiri. although since then my life has drastically changed!” you sarcastically shouted back with an amused grin on your lips. a loud laugh waved through her body as she came to a stop beside you. “ready to get your ass beat?” she asked, removing an arrow from her quiver. you shoved her side lightly, “it depends, is that what usually happens to the winner?”

the playful jabs continued throughout the training, ebbing away at the worry you carried in your chest from the day before. you two were tied, each with one target to go. you straightened your spine and pulled the drawstring back, allowing it to rest lightly on your lips. you squinted an eye, inhaling sharply through your nose before letting it fly to hit dead center. you whipped your head in her direction, smug. “wow, i can’t believe i’m the best archer ever. i’d like to thank my family and also eywa for this opportunity,” you teased. she smacked you lightly with her tail, a smirk on her lips as she released her own string. “a tie again. one of these days i’ll get you. sleep with one eye open, y/n.”

you chirped at eachother the whole way back to hometree, eventually slipping into quiet, lighthearted conversation. you lay on your back, the grass tickling the nape of your neck as you chew your lip worriedly in a lapse of silence. “kiri,” you start cautiously, “have you ever felt like shit? generally? i mean, i love maiya like a mother, but i sometimes feel like i’m wasting my days in that hut. i don’t even know if i’m cut out for it.” you avoid her eyes, instead suddenly finding great interest in the trees above. she rolls onto her stomach, pinching her nose in thought. “sometimes. like, i don’t even know if i fit into any one role, i just wander. i think loak is the same; although he’s always training with dad, i’m not sure his heart is in it.” you tense at the mention of his name, chewing the inside of your cheek as you hum in response. of course, she knew you two weren’t on good terms, but he was her brother, and you weren’t daft enough to assume he would just disappear; nor would you ever ask her to censor her life for you. “and, y/n, you are not only a healer,” she adds. you meet her eyes now, pushing yourself to mirror her soft smile. she strays from the topic, leaving the sentence hanging with promise and assurance.

you find yourself heading back to the healing hut in hopes of finding maiya. instead, a lone figure was hunched over your fieldnotes, too tall to be the elder in question. loak, with trained ears, hears you in the entrance despite your quiet steps. you march over to him, peeling the journal from his grasp. “that’s not yours,” you spit. although the journal held only facts and data of wildlife, you felt violated that he’d looked through it. he leans back on the counter, peering down at you through his brow with a coy smirk tugging at his lips. “your writing is illegible. it looks like it belongs to some blind kid.” you seethe, flashing your canines passively while you hurriedly flip through the pages, half-expecting him to have ripped some out. they were pristine, as you had left them. your eyes meet his again, viscous like honey from the irritation swimming in them. “what do you want?” he clenches his jaw and manually removes his gaze from your own, putting his arm out to you defiantly.

his bicep is marred with blood, now dry and coppery against his cerulean skin. you surrender, remembering what maiya had told you after his last visit. while you didn’t have your heart set on being a healer, you didn’t want to disappoint her. she relied on your help; no longer swift or energetic enough to make the trip for gathering. he allows himself to be led towards the mat, feeling your prodding fingers pushing him down to sit. dusk had began to fall on the village, leaving a cool breeze gliding through the flaps of the hut. you take a cloth to his bicep, which he still holds out for you quietly. he clenches his jaw at the pressure you apply, refusing to let out a hiss of pain in your presence.

“looks like the trainee isn’t off to a great start. i’ve been here for about an hour,” he grunts. you furrow your brow, feeling it twitch with annoyance, and press the cloth harder into his wound. “ow, what the fuck?” he barks. “don’t be an ass, i’m the only one here to help you.” your jaw juts in anger, eyes trained on him for his next move. your interactions were like a game of chess; each word aimed at destroying the other’s ego. right now, loak was losing. and he knew it. quick to retaliate, he counters, “you’re hardly any help at all.” he was struggling to control his voice, hate rising in his throat like bile. but chess was a game of calculation; whoever breaks first is the loser.

you narrow your eyes, nipping at your cheek in a feeble attempt to keep your temper in check. you dip your fingers into the fresh pot of yalnabark that sat near your hip. “if you were a better warrior you wouldn’t get mauled every day, you wouldn't need my help,” you jeer. loak’s stomach tenses with rage, causing him to stutter under your touch. “if you were a better warrior, you’d be on the battlefield instead of fawning over every scratch in the clan,” he snaps, ripping his arm away.

it’s wrong to hurt someone who seeks assistance in your own healing hut. you know that. he was grasping for the upper hand, and overstepped. you could ignore it if you really wanted to. fuck it, though. you shove him into the mat, shouting curses in his face. he was able to keep up with your rapidly escalating anger, growling as he pushed you back. you jolt under his weight, hissing into his chest in a blind rage. a sly grin formed on loak's face, heavy amber eyes following the movement of your mouth as it cursed him to the moons and back. it was short lived as you weighed your options before choosing to knee him in the groin. his hand gripped your forearm as he groaned in pain, pushing you farther into the floor.

the anger you carried was usually shackled tightly, hidden desperately behind thick curtains. loak was the only person you revealed it to. and when you did, instead of the usual passive, clinical, and impersonal 'calming' techniques used by others, he’d bite back with equal force. you would dance with eachother using dangerous words and petty pushes. and the both of you craved it; an outlet to drown in.

maiya chooses then to walk into the hut, watching you aggressively jostle eachother around like children. disappointment etched across her face as she towered over the scene. loak’s eyes follow yours to meet her gaze. both of your cheeks reddened as you fastidiously removed your hands from eachother. he scrambles to his feet, providing you with one last private snarl before leaving you alone in the hut with her yet again. you locked your jaw, anticipating her reaction with a clenched, dry throat.

⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧ ‧͙⁺˚*･

notes: the devil over my shoulder was telling me to write y/n licking him during that scene, but im a child of god.

taglist: @weasleytwinwheezes

#loak x reader #loak x you #loak sully #avatar way of water #avatar twow #avatar loak #atwow loak #loak smut #loak angst #neteyam x reader #loak imagine #loak headcanons #loak fluff #loak fic #loak fanfiction #avatar #loak slowburn

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hanniluvi · 1 year

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ADMIRING YOU ! — CHAPTER 24

24. confession. (written + smau)

WRITTEN PART - WC: 0.6K

it was the day. the day where you were supposed to meet niki at the cafe. you only accepted his request because you only wanted to see jungwon again…and maybe try out his pastries.

you greeted jungwon as you entered the cafe. you looked around the cafe and noticed how there were barely anyone besides you and him.

“no customers today?”

“ah no, its a bit weird isnt it?” he awkwardly said.

“hmmm really weird. just waiting for niki, dont mind me!”

as you sat down, you received a text message from niki.

“YNNN!! IM SO SORRY I CANT BE AT THE CAFE WITH YOU ANYMORE </3 I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO!!! HAVE FUN WITH JUNGWON ;)”

you chuckle at his message and quickly responded back.

“ah niki couldnt come. its just us two then?”

“looks like it.”

you notice jungwon walk towards to you with a mochi donut and a note—as always. you smiled. this small gesture was enough to make you gush over him the whole entire day. god how can someone be this cute?

“here! i got you this since its your favorite.”

“thank you jungwon. youre the best really.”

“can i sit next to you?”

“you dont even have to ask!” you giggled “go ahead won”

as you grabbed the note, you noticed how he nervously bit his lip.

there it was, the words i like you. on the note. you didnt expect this at all. is this some sort of joke? the yang jungwon confessing his feelings to you? your crush?? you held the note in shock.

“jungwon…?” you said as you looked over to him. he turned to look at you and began speaking.

“how do i begin? lets say, ive always had a crush on you. ever since i saw you in our first years of high school, ive always found you pretty. i never gathered the courage to go up to you and say hi. you could say ive always been admiring you from afar. somehow, we both managed to become friends after that small interaction in this cafe. as i spent more time with you, my feelings continued to grow even more. all the chats, laughter, and jokes we shared was so meaningful for me. its as if you automatically brightened my life. i was quite scared to say this to you actually. but ive gathered the courage from our friends to say this. so here we are, in this cafe where it holds lots of memories for us.”

“wow jungwon..im shocked. i never knew you had feelings for me this whole time. this is a lot of information to take in-“

“yn its okay if you dont feel the same way. i just thought, you know, to let these feelings out before its too late-“

“jungwon you didnt get a reply from me yet. dont assume things too quickly, will you? won, i appreciate all the time ive spent with you. ever since you entered my life, ive started to believe in love again. to be honest, i thought i would end up being single for the rest of my life. i never thought i would be having feelings like this. i always feel bubbly around you—i cant really explain it. you make me feel so happy and no one has made me feel like this way before. no expression can explain this feeling. jungwon, i like you too.” you smiled.

you saw his eyes lit up as you finished. the both of you were smiling like crazy. this moment was so special. he held your hands and said that sentence you were waiting for.

“will you be my girlfriend?”

“of course.”

you never thought this day would arrive. you were finally his and he was finally yours. this was something you were waiting for. this was like a dream, or you can say a fairy tale. this was your happy ending. you could finally say he was yours.

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A/N : I CANT BELIEVE THIS SMAU IS COMING TO AN END </3 two more chapters (5 actually if we count the special chaps) until this smau ends </3

TAGLIST [CLOSED!]

@son4taa , @ritsusakumasgf , @iamminnie , @yenavrse , @ilovewonyo , @wooniy , @4soobinonly , @captivq , @mutlishipperfangirl , @yenqa , @woncheecks , @adajoemaya , @risseei , @invusblog , @meiiiwa , @asunova , @wonioml , @jaxavance , @luvdokja , @shinsou-rii , @sukunasrealgf , @yjwonz , @yjjungwon

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melrosing · 10 months

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what do u think of brienne and selwyn’s relationship? idk like brienne obviously loves him. whenever she thinks of her safe space its always tarth and her dad but at the same it seems one of her deepest insecurities is not being enough for him and part of the reason she goes on her escapades is like in a way running away from facing him and her responsibilities as heir. also i think its strange that he lets her: a girl who is unmarried run around being a female knight. like its in good faith i believe lol but this is westeros isnt he worried? i cant imagine how he felt learning about the ransom and vargo hoat. i also think its interesting bc she seems sure he’ll have another kid and put her aside. also do u believe they reunite or that hes dead? i want them to reunite badly.

answered this a couple years ago here and I'd say my thoughts on their relationship remain roughly the same! this may be headcanon territory, but I imagine their emotional distance as being a symptom of grief on Selwyn's part, like he wants the best for his daughter but he moves through life just kind of numb to all that takes place around him, including her suffering; he just doesn't have it in him to engage anymore. that's my hc for why he has never remarried, never tried for more children, etc.

I picture Brienne's peril in ASOS waking him from that though, and that he's been worried for her all this time :( I would like them to meet again but I'm in two minds about it. can see GRRM fridging Selwyn for Brienne's girl pain; alternately, can imagine Selwyn teaming up with team Aegon if it's true there's a Targaryen in Tarth's recent family tree. and finally, I do just really like the idea of Brienne meeting her father again one day in just like some beautiful silent reunion :'( Selwyn going 'actually btw i AM proud of you' would be a bit too on-the-nose but I would like her to be able to read it on his face bc suddenly it feels like he's looking directly at her for the first time since they lost Galladon etc and he is smiling!! wah.

#ask #brienne of tarth #selwyn tarth #asoiaf

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littleoddwriter · 2 years

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HELLO IT IS I, the great shy neighbor anon!! I have another request for our boy Eddie.

Okay so I was thinking childhood best friends with a male reader smut!

Maybe Edward reveals to him he’s the Riddler, where the reader is like “Holy shit big fan, cant believe its my bestie.” and they work on little things together, maybe holding each others hand through stuff. Maybe they’re obsessed with each other IDK.

After all this v obvious pining, they get a little frisky and s//x happens :)!

Just two idiots so in love doing silly devious things 🙏🙏

Again hopefully this makes sense.

Always Together | Edward Nashton/The Riddler x Male!Reader | N/SFW (18+)

Hey there!!! Thanks so much for the request, it made sense to me, and I really hope you like what I've done with it! :') <3

summary; See above. Minors DNI.

notes; (Cis) Male!Reader; Top!Reader; Bottom!Riddler; Childhood Best Friends; Past Trauma; Getting Together; Friends to Lovers; First Time; Anal Sex; Unsafe Sex; Fluff and Smut.

Edward and you have been friends ever since you could remember. You grew up in the orphanage together, being handed from one foster family to the next, until you both eventually aged out of the system. When you had to leave the hell-hole that was Gotham’s orphanage, Eddie and you moved in together so you could afford something and also to simply stay together. Neither of you had wanted to be alone just yet.

But after a couple of years, you both decided that it would be nice to have an apartment all to yourselves and searched for your own. After spending your entire lives holed up with nearly thirty other kids in just one room and then staying with one another took a toll on both of you. It was for the best. And you stayed in contact, meeting quite regularly, so it wasn’t that big of a deal.

But you missed Ed a lot and it was hard for you to be without him. Nonetheless, you also had to admit that having your own apartment was good for you, it let you explore yourself better, as you got a perspective of what you wanted in life and who you really were underneath all this trauma without letting it weigh you down every day. Only being alone allowed that for you. Eddie always reminded you of the orphanage. You both did that for one another. It wasn’t good. Both of you suffered from it.

By the sounds of it, he’d been better on his own, too. He had a good job, a nice apartment, goals, hopes and dreams. And you were still a part of everything, which was something you secretly cared about the most.

______

When you came together again years later, the Riddler had just started out. You watched all of his livestreams. You considered yourself quite a fan of this man, who was seeking to uncover the truth about Gotham, something you were all for, after what you, Ed and all those other kids have been through.

Sitting beside Eddie on your bed, you two had been updating each other on how things have been since you’ve last seen each other about two weeks ago. You thought that while he was talking that there was something he tried not to voice. You couldn’t put your finger on it, though. Did something happen that he didn’t want to tell you? It worried you that he often skirted around something when he spoke about what he’s been up to. It happened a lot more often lately, not just now.

“Hey, Eddie,” you said, looking at him in concern. He looked back at you, raising an eyebrow. “I was wondering if there’s something you’re hiding from me? Like, I just have this feeling that you are because of the way you’ve been talking about what you’ve been up to recently, you know? I’m worried, is all.”

Edward looked like a deer in headlights. That only worried you more. So he was indeed hiding something from you.

“Have you heard about the Riddler?” he asked, basically blurting it out after a few moments of silence passed and you had thought he was going to pretend it was nothing.

Taken aback, you nodded.

“I’m- I am the Riddler,” Eddie admitted, twisting the bed sheet between his fingers nervously, "Uh- I didn’t mean to worry you, Y/N. I just didn't know how to tell you."

Processing this information, you just looked at him for a moment before breaking out into a huge grin.

“I’m actually a big fan of his! Can’t believe it’s you, Eddie. Well, I kinda can, to be fair. But still! This is so cool! My best friend is the Riddler!” You couldn’t hide your excitement if you tried.

Edward smiled, looking shocked, but pleased. “Oh, thank God,” he breathed.

“That kinda explains why there were never any streams when you were with me. And here I was always worried I’d miss one!” you chuckled heartily.

“I’m relieved that you are a fan of this persona I created. I was scared to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I’m some kind of freak and for you to leave me.”

“Never. We’ve always been together, Eddie. I couldn’t ever leave you.” You both smiled at each other. Ed’s cheeks were tinted pink and your own face grew a bit hot.

After a short moment of silence, you started bombarding Edward with questions about the Riddler. And because he knew he could trust you, he told you everything you wanted to know. As a result, you only fell deeper in love with him - something you had realised a while ago, but doubted you were ever going to tell him.

______

Ever since, he’s invited you over when he was going to stream so you could sit out of frame and watch him like this. Your presence calmed him down, he’s told you. He wanted you there. And it meant the world to you that he did.

At some point, you started holding his hand just out of the camera’s view. It only started because one time he was feeling anxious, as he’d been triggered before and flashbacks kept on coming, ones you only knew too well. You had done your best to calm him down before his stream, which he refused to postpone, but it hadn’t been enough. So, you ended up with his hand in yours, grounding him that way throughout. And somehow, that has just become your thing, then.

What honoured you the most, though, was when he started explaining his plans to you in more detail, asked for your opinion, and eventually proposed that you help him out with some things. Of course you did. You wanted to spend every second with him. You also wanted to help him achieve his goals. It was a win-win situation, really.

Throughout all this, you two have grown even closer, which you had thought to be almost impossible, but you’d been proven wrong once again. Your feelings for him only intensified, naturally, and by now you were pretty certain that you weren’t simply in love with Edward. No, you were absolutely obsessed with him. And in turn, you started to feel like the same was true for him. You hoped so, at least.

Because by now it seemed to be getting a little ridiculous. After all, you not only held his hand during streams anymore, but just whenever it fit you both. You kissed his cheek. You two cuddled with each other. You never spent any time with somebody else anymore, only one another. And it was slowly killing you. You just wanted him to be yours and vice versa. You wanted to be exclusive. You wanted to love him openly and unashamedly.

Apparently you’ve been heard, though, when a while later, you were cuddling in his bed and you leaned up to kiss his cheek, just because you felt the need to, and Eddie turned his head, capturing your lips in a surprise kiss. You both froze for a split second, but then you started to kiss each other in earnest.

When you broke it at last to catch your breath, you looked at one another in wonder.

“Fuck, I want you so bad,” you murmured, unable to keep it inside.

“Me, too,” Edward responded quite instantly.

“Should we… Do you want to-?” You didn’t know how to ask if he wanted to have sex with you right now, but he seemed to understand you.

“Yes! I’d like that. Um-” Ed’s face turned completely red. Both of you chuckled at how awkward you two were. Neither of you had ever expected this to happen.

“We don’t have to go all the way. We’ve got all the time in the world, right?” you tried to lighten the tension that settled around you two.

“We do,” he whispered. Then, he leaned in and kissed you again.

Sighing into it, you opened your mouth and he mirrored you. You slipped in your tongue, licking into his mouth to explore it. He moaned in response and his hands around your middle tightened.

Pushing him back down on the mattress, you got on top of him, between his legs, never once breaking the kiss. Your growing erections pushed against each other, causing you both to moan.

“What do you want to happen now?” you asked, out of breath.

Edward swallowed thickly, looking embarrassed as he averted his gaze before he answered, “I’d like you to fuck me.”

“I can do that,” you grinned, pecking his lips. “Where’s the lube?”

He pointed at his bedside table, “First drawer.”

Opening it, you took out the bottle of lube and put it on the bed, next to Ed’s head. Then, you took off your own shirt and grabbed the hem of Edward’s, silently asking to pull it off of him. He simply nodded, sitting up slightly and raising his arms to help you.

While you were unbuttoning your pants and sliding them down along with your underwear, you kissed down Eddie’s lips, neck, collarbone and chest to his nipples, taking each one into your mouth and swirling your tongue over it. He made the most beautiful noises as you did. You wanted to know what else you could elicit from him the further you went.

To fully take your pants, underwear and socks off, though, you had to stop and get up for a second. Ed looked at you with clear admiration on his face. Smiling at him, you felt your face grow hot again. This was what you’d been dreaming of for so long.

Back on the bed, you kneeled between his legs and took off the rest of his clothes as well. Both fully naked now, you let your eyes and hands roam over Ed before you finally took his hard cock into your hands. Groaning softly, his hips twitched.

“You have had sex like this before, right? We never talked about that,” you asked after a short moment.

“Well, no,” he answered, blushing furiously, “but, uh, I’ve used toys on myself.”

“Okay, that’s fair enough, Eddie. Just wanted to make sure you know what’s gonna happen,” you told him gently, stroking your hands over his thighs lovingly.

When he nodded, you took the bottle of lube into your hands and poured some over your fingers. You took your time preparing him, sliding your digits in and out slowly and letting him relax around them. When you could have entered a fourth finger, you pulled out and spread more lube on your cock.

“Ready?” you inquired, stroking your cock.

“Yes,” Eddie whispered, nodding for emphasis.

Then, you slowly started entering him bit by bit until you were fully inside. Both of you moaned when your hips met his. You moved in and out of him shallowly at first, careful to let him get used to it and not bring him discomfort beyond what was normal for the beginning. Once he demanded for you to go harder, you complied, though.

“Feels good?” you asked, breathing heavily as you kept thrusting into him steadily.

Nodding, Eddie moaned, “Yeah, fuck- yes, feels good, Y/N!”

“You make the best sounds, Eddie baby, you know that?” You drove further into him, slamming into his prostate to prove your point when he groaned loudly in surprise and pleasure, nearly shouting.

“God, fuck, please, make me come,” Ed whined after a couple more thrusts that stimulated his prostate. When you looked him in the eyes, they were shining with unshed tears. Oh, he was so gorgeous.

Taking the lube back into your hands, you poured some over your hand. And then you started stroking him in time with your thrusts, making him come not long after. He was moaning, arching his back and coming all over his stomach and your hand.

The way he clenched around you almost made it difficult for you to continue to thrust into him, but the tightness also caused your orgasm to approach quickly. Thus, you followed him only a few moments later, coming deep inside of him.

Slipping out of him, you laid down beside Eddie. Both of you were panting, drenched in sweat, and cum in Ed’s case.

“Oh, that was a lot better than I had expected,” Edward sighed, smiling tiredly.

Grinning, you put your clean hand on his chest and let it rest there, “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I did, too. This is all I’ve ever wanted. You know, us. Together like this.”

“Yeah, me too. I wish I had said something sooner, though,” he said, smiling ruefully.

“I hear ya. But better now than not at all,” you told him.

Scooting over a bit, you leaned your head on Ed’s shoulder and relished in this moment of absolute content. You felt at ease and, most of all, happy. You could barely believe this had really happened. But it had.

“I love you,” you both said at the exact same time, making each other laugh.

This was exactly how things were supposed to be, you knew.

#sorry if the smut part isn't the best i just - eh idk - yeah sorry!#nsft fic #x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #edward nashton #ed nashton #edward nashton x reader #the riddler #the riddler x reader #dano riddler #dano!riddler #dano riddler x reader #paul dano #danonation #fanfiction #fanfic

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aarcanechaoss · 2 years

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Hey :)

So i saw that you did a fic where Higuchi is caught by the mafia.Can you do another one like that but with a different prompt?

Like where there's a joint PM & ADA outing but Higuchi cant attend cause she promised her sister they'll go to the carnival on that day.But councidentally the PM & ADA also go to the carnival and they see Higuchi.

And if you want you can add in how Higuchi was wearing an open back top so you can see a tatto there and the PM is surprised cause they didn't think Higuchi has tattos

Sry for it being so long😭

Don’t be sorry this is wonderful!

Also here’s a link for the tattoo a cherry blossom to match my Yamizakura theory lmao

A joint outing. What a tiresome idea yet brilliant all the same. Ever since the Guild the Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia had been… trying more or less to work together when needed. And perhaps it was just some big plan for a means to an end but either way it at least kept the two companies busy.

Ichiyo Higuchi would not be attending this month’s gathering. Hell she was hardly invited to any of the Port Mafia’s normal gatherings so she really doubted they would bother to invite her to wherever it is they are going. Regardless she had plans, the carnival was in town and being the best big sister in the world that she is she promised she’d take Kuniko with her to the Carnival.

She didn’t know nor did she care about asking where the Port Mafia and Armed Detective Agency would be… but perhaps she should have.

~~*~~*~~*~~

“Come on Chiyo I want to check out the rides!” Her little sister whined playfully. The fifteen year old was practically vibrating from excitement as they exited the car. With her crutch held tight Kuniko waddled towards her big sister and practically dragged her into the Carnival itself.

It was a hot day and Ichiyo was thankful she let her sister pick her outfit today, with both girls pretty much matching. Black shorts and red shirts with their comfiest sneakers. Kuniko wore an old worn T-shirt with an English phrase that had Ichiyo chuckling every time she saw it (“what the duck” being the hilarious catchphrase with a cute little duck sitting right below it). Ichiyo however wore a red backless halter top with her cherry blossom tattoo on full display at Kuniko’s request.

Kuniko loved the image of a cherry blossom branch creeping its way up Ichiyo’s spine, with flowers and petals delicately floating about. It was so her sister it made her giddy because it was a well-known fact she loved the tree at the Higuchi home so why wouldn’t she have a tattoo.

Ichiyo loved seeing her sister happy. It reminded her that life was worth it and could still be joyful. She loves her little sister so damn much- she can understand why Akutagawa feels so protective towards Gin because she’s the exact same.

Kuniko would practically drag Ichiyo from stand to stand in excitement, getting small gifts and trinkets for their family and friends. They were having an absolute blast.

“Chiyo look.” Kuniko said at one point, hand raised and pointing towards and awfully familiar face. “Isn’t that the man from the newspaper?”

The weretiger was here… she can’t even say she’s surprised really considering how he’s practically everywhere in Yokohama most days. But on the one end of the spectrum this meant that Atsushi Nakajima decided to come to the Carnival today and see what it was or… everyone else decided to come to the Carnival as well.

Honestly Ichiyo believed it was the former considering she couldn’t see anyone from either company surrounding the very uncomfortable looking boy- oh… oh no he was having a panic attack.

With a hobble and shuffle of Kuniko’s crutch the blonde mafioso made it to the weretiger’s side quickly.

“Hey.. Atsushi I need you to breathe okay.” She started, hands lightly gripping his forearms- because no offence she didn’t feel like getting clawed today. “I need you to tell me two things you can hear.”

“Uh… your voice… music?” He said after a moment.

“Three things you can see.” She says again. “And follow my breathing.” Ichiyo places his hand on her chest allowing him to feel her breathing.

“You, grass… you, grass… my hands.”

“Very good Atsushi. Three things you can feel.”

“Hands, my clothes and the breeze.”

“One more okay.” Higuchi said softly. “Something you can smell.”

“Ch-cherry blossoms?” He looked confused as he searched the area wearily before his eyes landed on the blonde.

“You back with us now?” She questions softly. He nods.

“Sorry… sorry just… I thought I saw- someone.” And didn’t that break her heart just that little bit. She never understood Akutagawa’s anger and rage towards the boy who suffered so much, she understood that Akutagawa went through his own trauma’s yes but so did she and many others but she would never belittle someone else’s trauma the way she’d heard him do so some days. She cared for the Rashoumon user, she truly did and she would hang stars in the sky for him but trauma is trauma and no one should be shamed for it.

Ichiyo shook her head, clearing her mind.

“It’s okay you don’t have to tell me Atsushi- May I call you Atsushi or would you prefer Nakajima?”

“Atsushi is fine Miss Higuchi.” He said, sounding awfully tired at that.

“I’m just Ichiyo when I’m not at work lovely.” She said now moving to grip his hand… a simple and calming gesture that always helped her siblings, specifically Kuniko when she was feeling drained and it seemed to work for the weretiger too. “Is anyone else here we were just about to get some food and drinks anyway so we are happy to help.”

“Uh yeah. The joint outing was today… I noticed you weren’t there.” He whispered.

“Ah… so they are here huh? Let’s go get you a drink and maybe some food yeah?”

“Okay.” Atsushi said as he gripped the commander’s hand tighter.

~~*~~*~~*~~

The group was in a mix of emotions, many worried and others wanting to continue on with their little adventure of the Carnival.

But they’d lost Atsushi and now Kyoka was worried sick- Koyo immediately took her to search for him together whilst the others decided to stay as a pack.

Either way they all found him after twenty minutes sat with two women one blonde and the other brunette (who looked about Kenji and Kyoka’s age at that).

And as they walked across the impromptu food court that blonde started to look really familiar.

Cold hands pressed against her back as she leaned over Atsushi tapping away at his phone to alert the ADA of his whereabouts- considering his shaking hands. She yelped and spun around ready to slap the person who surprised her only to see Gin.

“Sorry for startling you.” She says.

“It’s okay Gin… you wouldn’t happen to know where the others are would you?” Ichiyo asked. “I think Atsushi needs Kyoka to sit with him for a bit, he’ll be okay but..,. Yeah.”

Gin looked behind her, behind the weretiger and low and behold the entire group had arrived silently.

“Yo Big Sis I didn’t think you could make it to the joint outing.” Tachihara gleams once he’s close enough to see the blonde’s face. “Sick tattoo. You don’t strike me as a tattoo person.”

He was weirdly chill and yeah granted not everyone in Japan liked tattoo’s and she was in the mafia… knowing him she expected a little more fanfare just because he could.

“Oh… thank you.” She says now turning to face the group, Gin now stood beside her staring awkwardly at the shaking weretiger. “Ah Kyoka!”

“Yes?” The girl asks stepping forward as Higuchi motioned her closer.

“He had a panic attack. I got him to calm down a little but since you are practically his sister you should take over. I know I’d hate it if no one let me take care of my sister, Kuni.”

“Chiyo!” Her little sister pouted.

“Holy shit tattoo.” Was not what she expected to hear fall from her executives lips as he and Dazai arrived, flanking her sides (so Dazai could see to Atsushi and Chuuya could find out what’s happening).

“Ah yes I have a tattoo…”

“Cherry blossom branch?” Ozaki asked.

“Yeah. My family home had a giant one I’d climb so…”

“She broke her arm twice climbing it.” Kuniko said, it was blunt yet full of teasing.

“Shut up gremlin.” Ichiyo groaned as she pulled her sister into a weak headlock.

“I like your tattoo Miss Higuchi!” Kenji shouted, startling everyone at that.

“Why is everyone looking at my tattoo?”

“Because it looks divine on you.” Dazai said smoothly…. Only to get a foot to the face and tumble to the floor.

“No flirting with my co-workers you bandaged freak!” Chuuya yelled, his hands now resting on her exposed shoulders like that would keep the former mafioso at bay.

“Cherry blossoms symbolism is quite beautiful.” Ranpo pipes up, stepping right into Ichiyo’s personal space. “Mostly beauty and pride, but it is also associated with life, impermanence, and love. It can also be a reminder of how nothing lasts forever and that you should celebrate each day.”

“Oh… yes… thank you Ranpo for that insight.” Ichiyo flushes, leaning back into Chuuya’s hands just that bit.

“No problem. It suits you is all.” He said before stepping back to sit at the table… and devour his snacks.

“Why is everyone yelling?” Akutagawa asked as he stepped close to his sister, a small car plush in his hands as he passed it too her.

“Aww Ryuu thank you. I shall name is Ren two, after my cat.” Gin says with a teasing smile.

“Yeah whatever… so why are we yelling and who’re they?”

The group fell quiet for a moment before giggles and snorts erupted.

“You don’t recognise your own co-worker.” Tachihara snorted with many of the ADA following while the rest of the mixed group just snickered. “It’s Higuchi and that’s… her little sister?”

“Kuniko Higuchi…. Sup.” The brunette greeted from her seat. Ichiyo, who had yet to be let go of by Chuuya (who was still kicking at Dazai for flirting with her- as he does with most women) turned her head towards Akutagawa who seemed to have gained the tiniest bit of colour on his pale cheeks.

“Regardless… why are you all making such a scene you found the weretiger yes? Now let’s continue or go home.” Akutagawa said sounding extremely bored.

“Higuchi has a tattoo dontcha want to see it?” Gin teased.

“Not really. Tattoo or not I do not care about something stuck to one’s skin that was probably painful.” He answered.

“Huh? Nah she took it like a champ. Chiyo didn’t feel shit.”

“Kuni! Language.” Ichiyo snapped.

“Yes mum.” The teen snorted.

“Honestly.” Ichiyo groaned. “Welp I promised Kuniko I’d show her the Ferris wheel and a few more stall games before we head out for dinner… lovely to see you all on this very warm day.”

“You aren’t staying?” Kyoka questions.

“Well no I wasn’t even really invited to the joint outing anyway and I don’t really get much time with my sister due to work so I want to spend more time with her.” The blonde answered as she peeled herself away from gloved hands and helped her sister to stand.

“Not invited?” Yosano wondered aloud.

“It’s how it usually goes. Unless Mori tells me personally I’m usually left to my own devices either inviting myself or not going at all… but either way my sister is priority so I wouldn’t have joined today regardless. We should go now anyway. See you all at work.”

“See ya Big Sis.” Tachihara waved.

“Goodbye Higuchi.” The rest added as she and her sister began to leave.

“By Mafia lady!” Kenji added making the blonde laugh and ruffle his hair.

The two Higuchi’s pondered office through the crowd towards a few more stalls looking as happy as can be.

They had to wonder… why did she still seem so down?

#bsd #Bungou stray dogs #bsd fluff #bsd angst #Bungou stray dogs fluff #Bungou stray dogs angst #higuchi’s sister #ichiyo higuchi #bsd higuchi #Higuchi has a tattoo #armed detective agency #bsd port mafia

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clserflies · 2 years

Text

just a wee list of connections i want for my muses. feel free to drop me a pm if you wanna talk abt any of them!

nayul ; - a criminal type or a detective type that finds out one way or another about her blog and after a bit of digging they figure out she’s the one behind it. either they blackmail or just flat out ask her for help with information gathering or other dirty work.

gyeonghui ; - toxic relationships. falsely giving her actual freedom just in the process just ruining her even more. getting her high, putting her in actual dangerous situations, hiding their relationship from mujin and the others in her cult etc. - alternatively someone weathered and wise, someone who’s gone through similar shit as what she’s in right now and sees a bit of themselves in her. they would introduce her to music, simple pleasures, actually work to coax out her real personality and give her the tools she needs to start taking her life back

mujin ; - semi-classic enemies to lovers, m only. they can’t stand each other, whether theyre both from similar scenes or theyre a lawful type that cant stand mujin’s attitude and actions but can never quite pin him to anything actually incriminating. they clash over and over until the tension reaches a peak and mujin is just fucking hurtled out of the closet. possibly a turning point for him.

sydney ; - childhood friends reunited. they grew apart years ago when they were still young and now theyre just way too nosy about what syd is up to these days. they end up finding about his secret pact with the demon to keep his mother alive and its up to you whether they end up helping him or trying to find a way out of it for him - another enemies to lovers. a classmate that just cant stand his casual attitude about everything and end up setting out to dig up any dirt on him that theyre sure he has. they find out about the pact etc. and end up growing a soft spot for him due to his circumstances.

pluto ; - either someone also homeless or just a regular ol delinquent type that forces friendship onto pluto and drags him along to really experience life beyond just surviving. bonus if they end up developing a romance and even after seeing pluto’s mutations they still just love him for who he is, m preferred for romance though.

ingrid ; - an angelic little goody two-shoes type who doesnt believe in magic and has never set foot in a party their whole life. they hear about ingrid’s escapades through the grapevine though and find themselves so curious about her. ingrid plunges them headfirst into her world, maybe a little romance sparks, maybe they just become fast friends after they find they actually enjoy the chaos that seems to follow ingrid around.

jasper ; - a normal person, probably not very well off, who initially worms their way into his life for a taste of the rich parties etc. they just wanna live like jasper does but quickly find themself with a lot more than they bargained for even after all the times jasper warned them that they shouldnt hang around him. friendship or romance, either way they quickly figure out about jaspers addictions and eventually he opens up to them about his past. just give me all the angst of them trying to navigate his fucked up situation and wondering if they even want to stay by him after knowing what he’s done.

yeseul ; - BEST friends. they have shared interest and hobbies, personalities mesh together so well and everything is just so perfect until they find out about her unconventional tastes. whether they confront her about it or hide that they know until she breaks and asks why theyve been acting so weird, i just want angst and conflict after she’s finally found her first best friend - alternatively someone just like her, possibly an actual serial killer or just a supernatural creature that takes an interest in the girl who’s nothing like what she seems.

cassian ; - a business partner who cassian’s actually known since he was a kid. probably around his age, either another heir or they just work for their own parents company. not sure what we’d do with this but i just love the idea of them having to act professional in front of other people but in private they can just be a regular couple of teenagers/young adults.

urie ; - someone who knew him/knew of him in high school but hasnt actually seen him since before he started homeschooling. possibly a dislike to hesitant friendship with a lot of bumps in the road with trying to navigate urie’s abrasive personality and assure him that theyre not here to make fun of him, they just want to actually get to know him - can you tell i love enemies to lovers. just give me a bully, not necessarily from his school, it could just be someone who loves to stir the pot and be nasty to people for no real reason probably because of personal trauma or its just their upbringing. despite this they seem to be popular etc, people keep making excuses for them etc. urie hates it and has almost actually fought them a couple of times until one day for some reason he actually defends them against someone who’s been particularly nasty to them. thus ensues a confusing and weirdly shaky truce?

kali ; - i love mentor type connections for kali. maybe its a young vampire or just anyone who’s recently been turned into something along those lines, even a werewolf. someone who cant return to their family or friends either because of what they are or because they have no one so kali takes them in and gives them the support they need. - (tw for mentions of torture) a forbidden love!!!! when kali was still young, she fell in love with a vampire hunter/shadowhunter who tricked her into thinking she loved her back only to capture her in order to torture kali with the intention of letting her die of starvation. now she’s older and stronger and is slightly past her grudge but still incredibly wary of humans like that but now she meets another hunter. a few not so friendly run-ins turn into a mutual understanding that kali is not a rouge vampire that needs killing but after they come to a truce kali finds herself running into them over and over again. it’ll take a lot to gain her trust an even then, their relationship is going to be difficult purely because of who they both are. (f only for this one)

ethan ; - seeing as ethan owns an apartment complex, one of the only nice ones that cost barely anything and actually house a surprising amount of supernatural beings much to the obliviousness of any humans living there. id love a plot for him involving one of his human tenants becoming a little too curious. usually he keeps to himself, only really interacting with anyone in the building in order to fix problems or make casual chat to see if anyone needs anything, but perhaps they keep trying to catch him for more than just small talk. eventually he finds himself accidentally enjoying their company but still tries to keep them at arms length. theyll find out about his true identity some way or another whether they overhear a conversation or manage to sneak into the top floor and see his place. just imagine the wonder of a human learning about the secret world living right under their noses, asking him for stories from his past, wanting to get closer to him but his reluctance because he knows that compared to him, human lifetimes are hardly a blink.

benji ; - i really want another forbidden vampire x hunter relationship for benji. him getting caught at a feeding club, always managing to escape but the hunter keeps finding him. eventually he just begs to be killed, spills his entire sob story about being unable to control himself and instead of them actually going through with it they just sit him down and ask how they can help. alternatively they strike a deal for helping him in exchange for selling out actual dangerous individuals. cue a unlikely relationship full of tension and clashing but also hurt and comfort uvu

louis ; - louis is a simple guy, very gentle and not confrontational in the slightest so honestly just give him a project. someone almost unhinged who he ends up trying to worry after only to be dragged into dangerous situation after dangerous situation. they drive him absolutely crazy but he cant stop wanting to look after them and help them.

scott & watson ; - a plot ive been wanting for the twins for so long is a paranormal investigator of some sort hearing about them and hunting them down or even just happening across them by accident. they get thrown in the deep end after realising the girls arent spirits themselves but unwilling hosts to something more powerful than theyve ever faced before. think like outlast 2 vibes of constantly thinking that everythings going to be okay only to be thrown a curveball and theyre back at square one until the eventual face-off with the entity controlling them.

#* / 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 . plots #also i know a good few of them dont have bios up yet #so if youre interested in a plot but wanna know more about the character themself im more than happy to give info!

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pinksparklelps · 2 years

Text

I really need to get this off my chest. Whether to just, inform, or give myself some kind of peace of mind. Because i think about this so frequently and sometimes it gets so overwhelming. Everything will be under the cut, so please, protect yourself if you do not like to read about discourse/drama.

First things first, im gonna do what i REALLY dont want to do, and thats ping who exactly im talking to. Even if they dont work at all. @velvet-sword @fluffnstuffq you two. You two are the main sources of my endless thoughts.

I want to start this off with how childish you were. Your “proof” is not proof. I am not, and never will be that stupid asshole terf Florence. I am just as much of a victim as all of you, and you have no right to say otherwise. I guess i could say its my fault for getting so close to popular people that are/are nearly adults when im STILL a kid. And when all of that shit went down i was, what, 14? And you expect me to act like the mature one.

Im so tired of thinking of this almost everyday because you caused me, AND MY GF so much pain and paranoia. Why, WHY on gods green earth would i EVER want to be florence? Tell me. Give me what you think are my thoughts. Because let me tell you, I HATE ATTENTION. Good, bad, neutral, ALL OF IT!! I do not like to be complimented because i feel like i dont deserve it, i dont like to be yelled at because i feel like a failure, i hate when people even LOOK at me because who KNOWS what on earth they could think about me? Even if its just polite eye contact, the thought of someone watching me makes me freeze.

I admit, i have used gacha back then, and I occasionally use it now because the minigames are fun. Character creators are good because i can make characters like that if im not feeling inspired. But SOOO many people use gacha life/club/whatever. Whos to say one of you didnt or did have it installed? I have no proof it was you, you have no proof it was me.

And the fact that you were harassing more people just solidifies the fact that i made a huge mistake in idolizing you back then. I was just a kid who like a silly game about music and shapes, and you basically ostracized me from the entire fandom. I havent played the game in like 2 years because of the terrible memories of you.

And Blitz!! Remember that one person you mentioned that you got us all against? I know them. Theyre actually a nice person. AND. You and gingy. You crossed the line, especially gingy. Stealing my characters after the fact, redesigning them EVER SO SLIGHTLY, and making a goddamn story with them? Even my spiritual oc’s that represent parts of me. You guys are supposed to be role models. You are popular, and older, and you do this to a fucking child? Ive been more mature than youve been in that situation. You all sent hate anons when i just walked away. I wanted to leave but you kept chasing me. Funny how i got no more hate after threatening to block them.

Speaking of which, “changing typing styles.” Only way i change my typing/writing is for fanfiction/stories and when i meet new people. I naturally incorporate others words and phrasing into my language. Hell, one of my new friends got “skill issue” from me haha. It seems to me like you couldve been projecting. Taking your actions and saying IVE done them so everyone looks at me instead of you. Funny, since you care so much about justice. Justice for everyone except the child who was also a victim of tracing and cyber bullying.

And i cant BELIEVE you would think i was abusing my gf. Shes smarter than that you know. If she were in a bad situation i know she would want to leave. If i knew i were hurting someone i would feel so guilty and push who i was hurting away. Well it seems my “loving and sweet gf” facade has worked for 2 years huh. Impressive of me isnt it? No. Me and my s/o are happy and we help each other grow every day. I do something wrong? They point it out, I apologize and do my best to fix it, and vice versa. Unlike you, i know that we are happy and in a really healthy relationship.

And since im talking about all this, rainb! Yes you! You were so incredibly uncomfortable to be around. Just seeing you type was enough for fight or flight to kick in. You were so harsh and not at all understanding and its a miracle you were allowed to be a mod. Sometimes i wonder how many people in that server got hurt and how much the server has fallen into disarray. I just hope people get out of toxic situations like i did.

And lastly, how dare you make fun of my fucking vents. You, you all are utterly amazing! I couldnt even begin to THINK of the possibility of someone doing that! You fucking assholes. I can be scared of my mom and still seek guidance from her. Shes my MOTHER! And i did NOT hide behind her, and it was only ONE TIME when you all were ganging up on me in a private chat. Its not my fault i froze and fucking broke down because you thought i could cause mass chaos in a community i loved. The second you start making fun of someones feelings that they trusted you with, you have become the monster.

No matter how much I despise each and every one of you, i do not wish for you to come to harm, even though you so obviously deserve it. I hate that i want you to be happy. But my mom told me it shows that im just a kind person. Sometimes i miss you, and i hate it because you were awful. I wholeheartedly believe in karma, but i also believe you can do better. I want, need, and deserve an apology, but i know you wont give it. And even if you do, im never ever going to forgive you for what you did to me. I once almost committed suic*de because i couldnt contact you and i didnt want to lose my friends. I couldve been sent to the mental institute back then because i cared so much about losing who i loved. But i see i put my life in the wrong hands.

I felt so hopeless in that server, but in my new group, i see so many talented people and know i trust them. I love them, and i dont feel sad knowing im not as good as them. They are talented, and even if i cant fully see it, i am too. I could never see myself as good enough with you all. But now im happier, and have good friends and family that i know care about me, even if i dont fully think i deserve it. Im happy with where i am. Im happy with how much ive grown.

And even though it hurt so much, im happy i met you guys because it was a learning experience that i never asked for.

I dont care what you have to say to or about me anymore.

Im happy.

#drama #discourse #suicide mention #jsab drama #icy dont look #toxic friends #toxicity

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wrestlezon · 2 years

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liveblog containment zone for aew dynamite 6/29/22

i was too busy being in a bad mood to remember blood and guts was today so im 5 minutes late but let me tell you: my crops have been watered and my skin is flourishing within 2 minutes of starting it. there are good things in life...

THEY!!!!!!! GOT JANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING I WANTED i was SO sad at the ppv you WOULD NOT BELIEVE who on earth is-- thats not brandon culter oh my god LMAO your OUTFITS OH!!!!!!!!! CHUCK IS HERE TOO!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING I WANT!!!!!! dan lambert ousting my boys from ringside??? i hate you, dan lambert. i hate you so much you are my mortal enemy second only to tony "there will not be a trent vs yuta match" khan though i do prefer lambert doing this kind of heel activity instead of bigot style heel activity jane... lambert holding orange juice... dont tease the indie orange cassidy days at me you monsters. my heart cant take it ethan page is looking extremely. bronzed right now. someone left him in the oven a bit too long orange looks so small being carried in his arms. im just making normal observations here was that a hurricarama or a total faceplant. ouch "finish this guy! he looks like hes 12 years old!!" yeah ive heard that one before OHHH ORANGE JUICE REAL the setup was kinda forced but i'll take it oh the best friends came back!! :)c yaaaaaay

nature is healing

oh im almost caught up to live now since i got to skip the commercials

christian cage time. whats he gonna say OMG WHAT THE. evil luchasaurus??? OH NO!!! HES GOING TO KILL SERPENTICO!!!!!!! LMFAO luchasaurus is so evil now!!!!!!!!! NOOO SERPENTICO!!!!!!

gunn club and max caster vs danhausen and ??? i wonder who danhausen got. i hope its the best friends LMAO NEVERMIND FTR IS GOOD TOO HAHAHHAHA remind me to put a screencap of bowen's anguished face in here later oops i got distracted during this match. im going to restream this show later so i'll backfill it

omg bowens... the gunn bros and the acclaimed are fighting DISOWNED BY FATHER... OHHHHH

jade cargill! to be honest im kinda soured on this whole deal w/ the baddies cuz like. i think itd be cool if sonny kiss was with them. :( sorry. ive been reading tweets (i shouldnt be)

oh man this main event is gonna be hella long huh excalibur, with a straight face: the only reasonable thing to do, of course. is to lock everyone in a steel cage oh my god the JAS and their red mesh shirts? ugh!! lmao are they-- are they really commercial breaking us right in the middle of this eddie and pnp!! :)c yuta and claudio! moxley is such a cool guy. he will always get his solo entrance from the back taz: right there is chris jericho who prides himself in his men ok whoa did eddie fistbump claudio. professional of him. i guess he had time to calm down since the ppv sammy and his funny little rope hops oh maybe eddie was cool with claudio because he offered to go up first and deal with the 2v1. LMAO lol claudio cracking his knuckles. got his work cut out for him sammy and garcia huggin it out. ok i think if you can draw claudio, miro, and trent standing next to each other and have them all look like themselves instead of each other then you will have proven your strength and ability as an artist. they are all bald and have the same kind of beard. yuta time!!! is yuta's special signature move chain-suplexes. its a good signature moxley time! :)c omg claudio just rising into frame like a zombie first blood! garcia gettin forkstabbed look at all this blackpool combat club coordination. theyre doing so well... >_> i hope uh... this doesn't change... when eddie and his gang enter lmao parker trying to run. hes scurrying are jericho and eddie gonna be the last two to enter...? every time i see ortiz i forget that he got balded. moxley breaking out the tacks-- OH ITS GLASS blood and guts! blood and guts! matt menard enters! i guess jericho eddie really ARE gonna be the last two to enter... NOT THE SKEWERS!!!!!!!!! AHHH MOXLEY TURNING THIS INTO A DEATHMATCH yuta and garcia having a slapfight while moxley is being choked by a barbed wire bat lmfao i love the cuts to eddie. theyre great EDDIE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO JUST SWIPING PEOPLE AWAY WITH HIS KENDO STICK UYEAHHAAHHA SET HIM ON FIRE dude with the amount of cuts and blood wounds right now, rubbing alcohol would SUCK to get poured on you. even without the fire jake hager getting tabled that. is so many tacks oh my god i was distracted by the ring being deconstructed-- how did that dude get outside did yuta get slammed onto tacks oh no!!! jericho used rubbing alcohol attack on moxley!! oh no!!! tacks!!!!!!!! okay i knew moxley reached up to bite jericho there on the ropes but that just looked like a russian taunt EDDIE... LMFAO JERICHO WANDERING INTO THE OTHER RING HE IS STANDING ON THE GIANT CARTOON RED X ON THE GROUND omg tay conti killed the ref to steal the key ruby soho on the scene!! (lmao taz called her riott--) jericho climbing. why dude i would never be able to climb up on a steel cage. its so high. thats so scary!

EDDIE man what is going to happen here. chekov's peeled ring lays beneath omg what a toss. of course sammy would do it eddie crawling towards jericho... is.... ummmmmmmmmmmmmm lol. slap exchange... walls of jericho.... CLAUDIO... HMMM... !!! WOW OH FUCK OFFF NOOOOOO WHAHTHUGAGHUGHUHHG THE SWING ON TOP OF THE CAGE??? noooOOOOOOooOOO MATT MENARD DOING MOVES ON TOP OF THE CAGE? NO oh my goodness... eddie and claudio submitting dudes on top of the cage side by side? thats cute Ohhh... menard tapped out... eddie didnt get his victory eddie is so disappointed lol moxley is prolly gonna be like "whats the big deal. u won" NO MOXLEY ITS NOT ENOUGH

oh i love this. eddie gets his win but it is wholly (personally) unsatisfying. he raised claudio's hand... i definitely got my eagle eyes on this. im looking directly at the both of them. if they so much as sideeye each other i will be on it

#talkzon

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theleafunderneath · 9 days

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for the past month and a half ive been convinced that i dont like you. we’ve been friends for 3 years and yet i still love being friends with you. i dont think i could ever get sick of you. ive had a crush on you for what, nearing 2 years already? but ever since the break up, i’ve forced myself to get over you.

you told me things like “you were a really great girlfriend” and that you did have a growing affection towards me. you said this 6 months after our breakup. about last weeks thursday during our vulnerable and honest conversation. you tell me you’re just not ready for a girlfriend, you felt as though you were lagging behind me. but that i was never a problem. you recognized all your mistakes.

then we go to a track meet together. and i meet this girl whos been hitting on you. and me and my idiot self who believes i dont like you anymore, she tells me shes interested in you and all of a sudden im setting you two up.

i call for your name, and let her ask for your number. and on the way home, my heart sinks. and im crying. and i dont understand why i still feel this way. its true, i’ve stopped liking you. but i’ve never stopped loving you.

you are one of my best friends, and i dont want to ruin that because having you in my life as a friend is better than not.

i want you to be happy. but this is unbearable. your little girl youre talking to seems great. she really likes you. she thinks youre cute. she cant stop texting me about how amazing you are and sending me screenshots every day of what you two are texting about.

and im not mad at her. im just mad at myself. i should be happy for you two. why is it that i can’t stop loving you?

i see your messages and you text her with excitement. you text her with a smile. and i can tell.

you never did that for me. and sure, you owned up to all your mistakes and apologized. but

it hurts to know that because i was your first mistake, that now that this girl has the version of you that i always wanted. i was the guinea pig.

#one sided crush #he will never like me back #frustration

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solardick · 16 days

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I doubt im getting back to normality” any time soon. Oh, Sightly loathing. You are a something to see. It’s being built up again. I suspect another crisis. Im losing count. The jupiter in aqua is an awefull piece of shit as my brother would say. On the positive side of abuse and harrasment. And placement. And despair. Hig ols steliem of demons. Is what the centaurs are. Playing this horrorscope to a T. Destruction. And glee. Glee? Yeah glee. Its the most consistent thing inknow from others. Its just there. And yet not one person. Noy one person had come forward other than yo gleem a peice of info. Like y’all fo here. Looking for something? I got plenty.

Anyway. I was thinking. a or the other way of writting it. And, o, e, c. Probably a dead end. Maybe not. Blind fool. O fool, the E fool and the high priestess. There it is again. And something new. We got two pillars. An innocemt fool amd a “guilty fool. And the Oo death card. Whichbis neat being a card that uses the letters on the card to speak it own play. Its a passage of time. And a glimpse of the future amd the fear ewith death on thr consequences if it isnt speaking something else also. The distant and the present.

The more convinced i become that this card is wuite magical indeed. And a right slection. Whoch was waiting to be plugged in. Wasn’t my choice. Just the body. The things that come to when one is in solitary.

The marseille fool. The current E-fool. Is a negative figure. I preffer the negative figure. It just nakes more sense. Symbolically. I mean you can try and bend the rules all yah want. So that it fixed as a projection. Cant use waites fool. For that. The blind fool is best. Spwaks the same message and then some. Without all the fancy excesorries. They played the marseeille fool on me. Didn’t really fit cause their wrong but. They dont listen

Know what. Im gonna talk openly about my love for jesus. To everyone around me. Would you kiss jesus with the mouth?! Jesus. Come, here. This guy wants a kiss. Yeah thats what inthought shut the fuck yp. The current list of demons” are called pests. Pestilence. Bzz bzz. Go be by myself. They make sure they fallowed me around and rub in how much they enjoy being cunts.

Well lets put the crusofix back on. Since that is my life. And watch all these cunts give me a hard time. Hey look the weather report id wrong. Its usually spot on to thr minute. But not today its raining out. Not cloudy.

Just because i believe in god doesnt mean i have to be polite about. Hlaf the world is busy sucking eachother off, createing single peramt families and being cunts anyway.

The term cocksukr is poli numerous or however its called. If its been seperated into its original

Teo words. Its literally all in the eye of the beholder. People eat cocks all the time. And to be called a sucker. Means what? Point made.

Oh shit! Its a dove. Good. Doves are good. God agrees with me. The problem

With eating a bird. Requires destruction of natural resources.

Alright. Do an std screening and if thats negative get a rectal cancer screening. If i have to wear a diaper for the rest of my life. Im backing out.

Moral of my life. Dont be an incompetant retard and have children.

n dit turns out god was right when the crows warnes mw agaisnt nate on the day he said we would be working together. He’s just another fucktard that wnjoys fucken with people. Though its weird how he mostly just specificcalt warned me about him. Pudgy batman and the neurotic troll too. To anlesser degree and the others.. not muchnof anything. Odd. Probably because the others dont try and hide it.

After this grouo of people messing with me i womder who the next group will be.

Place after place year after year. Since childhood. Born in hell.

Anyway god. Thanks for looking out for me. In this world full of narcissists. Taken joy in ruining my life. But i dont need it. You’re wasting your time. All life is is other people hurting me. Its all its ever been. Father’s a narsicist. He always showed me elation when talking about having the upoer handover someone. The smiles he used to gove me instead of giving me guidance. Like you used to say about Tony’s father. “I used to use as a punchign bag” said it multiple times when a smile on his face. All life is is this. After 30 years. Of constant upgeaval. I dont want to be alive anymore. Sont waste your time on me. Im not surviving much longer.

Inwish i was a narsicist peice of shit too. Maybe id have a life and be a degwbweate fucktard to the rest of humanity toi and have a sens eof acconomishment. Like lak these others. Ive been beaten since i was 13. Dead since i was 13. They’re never going to stop. I dint know what life is not being fucked with. Its always been this way. An dinknow that theyre never going to stop. They take oleasure in it. Over 30 years mu entire life is other people hirting me. So i doesnt matter what i do. Im stuck her essrroinded by criminal assholes. How have been taling my existance since birth. So just go away. And stop trying to help me. I need them gone. Or your efforts are useless they laugh and mock you god. Leave me be. And let me die. I dont want yiur help anymore. Im not allowed to be myself. Surrounded by all these fucken cocksukrs.

I thought about going to go see for soem help for my psychosocial issues. But then i realized that these faucktards have been engeneering me to be this way. Somits pointless cause its not really me. Its them. I wish there was a lesson for me to learn in allnof this. But theres not.after this many years. Theres notheing to learn. Thats isn’t isnt actually the real world. Its a torutee chamber i was born in. And have been a target in sinve birth. Theres nothign to take away from it.

I have a life sentence of being fucked woth foe other reason then being born. Im hoing to start leaving my door unlocked so, y’all can vome in freely and drug up my food again. And do whatever sicknand twisted y’all want to do to me. 39 and i still dont know what havign a sense of securoty feels like. Womder what it feels like being libed and having someone hows got your back. I womder what it feels like not havign an environemnt animinical to uour well being. I wimder what it feels like being a narcissi t peice of shot. Womder whatn it feels like feelig. Rightious while destroying and slowly killing soemones life. Wonder what it feels like havign responsibility for someone else life. Womder what it feels like beign there and supporting someone you know isn’t fucking with uou. Winder ehat life would be like not being raised by enemies. Wo

We what its like not being an object of ridicule. Womder what its like havign i sider i formation on my own life. The world had been plotting agaisnt me sonce i was a child. I wish there was soemthign to learn in life. But, theees not. Ive already learnt wverything 30 years ago. I have a teachers personality. And everyone treats me like im a in now at all bettwr than thou charecter. Its easier to lear. While you teach. To bad being a study means you never learn anything. Eomder what its like not being serroundd by criminals. Havign people, shoving dick and drugs in your face everyday. Been that way since choldhood. Its never going to change.

Hey its my birthday tomorow. Wonder what sick twosted bs their going to gove me. My retarded invred family will

Probably send me money. Ugh. More cash to donate to charity supposed.

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zak-shit · 2 months

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march 1st 2024 9:14 pm

don't greatly feel like doing this rn, but i know I do need to.

brain is constantly racing lately. i mean constantly i really do.

the grief of losing lisa has been coming harder, i really miss her and i cant believe she is really gone. i will never forget that woman. lisa was truly my favorite person growing up. she's a real angel now.;/ Marisa Lynn just called me while I was writing the below stuff, she said new years eve was the best. I think about thanksgiving alot too, we had a all nighter, I'll never forget seeing Lisa on the back porch as the sun came up. and that was practically the last time I really saw her. Her health went downhill so quick after that.. I had the thought earlier like things just came together in a way, and that night was almost a send off for her. except nobody knew. it was really our fucking reunion., and it turned into our last night together.

tomorrow ive got to go to my brother casey's wedding ;| i haven't seen this side of my family in like nearly 5 years. i ordered something I really like to wear, something that is appropriate, but also boldly ME. It may not arrive in time, and I don't know what to wear in that situation yet, also don't know if what I already have that is appropriate is something i feel comfortable wearing/ me. :/ but its fineeeeeee this wedding will happen. i'm going to see both of my brothers tomorrow, my dads brother (he's chill) and my other niece's and nephews. just weird bc i don't know these people honestly. we have a zero on the relationship bar. idk that just makes me anxious, uncomfortable... shruggg. i just know when I have a life event I wouldn't invite them, but I feel obligated. however i do also feel immensely happy for Casey, the divorce of his first marriage im sure was extremely hard for him. i'm glad he has a great partner now, large happy family. he seems content the last few times I'd seen him. Casey is the only one I have seen in the last 5 years. My aunts funeral, fathers day like two years ago, and Marissas baby shower. He is a good guy, and he deserves to be celebrated and have who he wants to show up for him, show up. I'll also have Cece, and Marissa there to keep me company.

i feel alone. Wrote that before Marisa Lynn called me. Expecting and hoping she calls me back. Idk, its Friday night and I'm all alone, not much is stimulating to me. I don't have a hyper fixation right now, so its like I have nothing lol. makes me feel like a zombie just coasting through life. I understand why my comfort/ favorite/ go to people cant hang out tonight but idk I miss them. And I had to cancel plans with Alyssa for tomorrow bc I changed my mind on attending the wedding. Texted her asking about other days after we talked and she said she was soooo happy I was going. and nothinnnnnn. idk a little "let me seee" and then get back to me would be nice... i know shes got alot going on though. im not upset with her at all. but I miss her :( Ruby cant hang because her back is killing her :( also not upset with her at all, i see her all the time lol. but idk maybe i'm just a bit bored... I have decided to start working shows at the theatre again! maybe partly for a little stimulation. Its been so long since I've done a show! I used to think strongly that I couldnt do it because I'm not getting payed.. but I was never payed before, I always did it because I enjoyed it so much! Its something to do thats a passion of mine. also the sense of community is great and admirable. everyone who is there.. wants to be there! its not like at work where people are miserable. I applied on the website, but i think I'll draft an email to someone tonight. I wanna jump on this burst of energy for it before it goes away and I don't take it up again. plus I'd like to see how much I like it. Crazy being able to get back into hobbys. lol for so long I thought it was possible to make time for it. and hey with me being active there again, maybe it would be easier to also get Cece into it.

I also bought some adderal from Kerri, I think thats what has awoken quite a bit inside me. i really need this shit to be real human. lol especially the highted emotions. I've actually cried both yesterday and today. and its been so therapeutic. Lisa also took me to my first audition into the theatre, she sat there while I did it, she filled out the paperwork. I thank her for that. I wished I could in person because that really means alot not looking back and seeing how far that took me/ changed my life. it really did change my life. so did our pitch perfect binges. <3

my mom has been really good lately. she stopped drinking as much. like for a few weeks, maybe 2 weeks. she didnt really drink at all. shes been alot more active around the house, she said she would treat herself to it on saturdays. which is fair, thats cool. so yesterday, a thursday when I came home and I could tell she at least had a buzz going on, it instantly locked up. idk i was dissappointed, i was angry, I was sad. It triggered me for sure, because, for once I wasnt expecting it. at least on Saturdays I would expect it. I can clock when shes had a sip of alcohol better than I can clock probably anything. so she cant lie to me about it.. but also highly emotional on it because I've wanted the last few weeks to be our reality for so long, and so badly... she really seems ready to cut it down to one day a week. and I know she can do it, she just did it. she just has to stick to it. I have high hopes, thats why I didnt blow up or something about it, also because i'm smarter than that, i know time and place to be heard best. and after a drink its never there. I just mentioned it this morning. I think she had a tiny bit to drink tonight too.

currently talkin flirtin with trey <3 i want him :((

xoxo wasted a bunch of time its now 12:29 am need to try to get sleepy byeeee

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yanawildstar · 5 months

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It's all about ME, ME, ME!

My fave music

Well for those who still haven't know me, obviously Avril Lavigne is my ultimate no 1 Favourite! I've love her as long as i can remember. She's my IDOL. And I've learned a lot from her. Im damn proud and happy for her huge comeback this year. She's AMAZING. Let them know she still Rock N Roll!!! I also do love Taylor Swift. Can't believe She's rules the music world era for years, and she the same age as me. The other music I listen to and really enjoy include Pink, Simple Plan, Billie Ellis, Justin Timberlake, Eminem, the Black Eyed Peas, Jason Derulo, Shawn Mendes.

My fave book

I really love Bloom by Estee Lalonde. Been rereading her book so often. Such an inspiring book for me. Always sth that motivate me to do better in life. I also do book from Tanya Burr, Love Tanya, Girl Online by Zoe Sugg, La Candy a novel, series by Lauren Conrad, and also anything by Rainbow Rowell and Sophie Kinsella. Basically, I simply love anything girly, chic flick novels.

My fave two makeup product

Well Honestly I actually only wear this two makeup whenever I'm going out. Simply cant be bothered with the others. First my fave lipgloss,the Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer. Its super cute, and I love the shiny light pink shade. It have shea butter enriches from within. Wearing it sure makes my lips look instantly fuller, with a non-sticky formula that’s super shiny and has an addictive peach-vanilla scent I just can’t get enough of. I loves smoky eye and light lip look. One can never forget my fave signature smoky, kohl-rimmed eyes.So yeah my second fave makeup will be my black eyeliner esp MAC Eye Kohl Eyeliner. Been using this since my early teens! I'd always LOVES those black eyes when I was younger, in fact, I still do now too actually. I still will use whatever I could get my hands on. It was so hard to find a black eyeliner that had pigment. Everything i put on was gray. So It was a lot of smudging with eyeliner.

My List of The World Hottest Guys:

My HUSBAND! of coz, dhuh!

My Dad!

Adam Levine

Andrew Garfield

Ryan Reynolds

Eminem

The Yana Diet on how to maintain my body figure!

Lol! Firstly, damn. Im not afraid to eat fast food as often as I can. From McDonald to KFC, to Dominos I always order the largest portion of Fries or Pizza.otherwise, I tend to just want more. Hehe.

I eat pasta as often as I can too. I cook the best tuna mayo fussili pasta at home. Fast and easy recipe that I come up with one rainy day! My own creations! So telll me again, who says I can't and dunno how to cook? Just because I don't post about my cooking that often over on the internet doesn't mean I can't surprise my hubby by cooking dinner once awhile. Alhamdulliah, my hubby LOVES it. not because he suppose to, but because he genuinely think it really taste marvellous. He often request me to make dem!

I loves eating sushi, esp salmon sashimi. Yums!The combination of fresh fish, rice and seasonings makes sushi a perfect healthy meal, at least for me!

I do eat as much chocolate as I can. For me, chocolate seems sinful, and therefore they never fails to makes me happy. My favourite will always be Kinder Buneo!

One thing for sure,I NEVER take any diet/Vitamin pills ever. Simply said I don't do drugs.

Generally,I do what I want, eat what I want, whenever I want. Life too short not to enjoy it.

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