#can't wait to be traumatized.
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i couldnt watch the episode yesterday
#trigun#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#meryl stryfe#nicholas d. wolfwood#roberto de niro#my art#has this been done before. sorry. the idea was too funny#silly art to cope with the Horrors.#can't wait to be traumatized.
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#kdrama#perfect marriage revenge#sung hoon#jung yoo min#they are both so traumatized and i can't wait for them to heal each other
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Some fancy ideas/writing concepts swirling around my mind lately:
Oblivious Alhaitham who thinks that he and Kaveh got over their post-argument issues (because Kaveh now lives with him and he knows Kaveh wouldn’t be able to live with someone he despises) and who thinks they are unofficially dating & Anxious Kaveh who thinks they’re not even close to getting over their post-argument issues and who is afraid to catch feelings for Alhaitham, which happens nonetheless (he prays Alhaitham doesn’t notice bc that will make the situation uncomfortable and Alhaitham will definitely make him move out bc of it)
Alternatively,
Alhaitham who seems to be closed off but who appreciates Kaveh living with him very much because it reminds him of the times when he lived with his family and so he is genuinely happy to have company around (does not want Kaveh to move out because despite living on his own for the most of his life he is not against the idea of connecting to people and forming meaningful attachments) vs. Kaveh who is naive and very open an outgoing in certain ways but who also knows that people often do not appreciate him for himself but rather for what he appears to be and what he can give and so he is in a way terrified of living with Alhaitham because his house seems like a place where he can just be himself with no repercussions (wants to move out as soon as possible because he is used to living on his own but not to being this open around others and doesn't want to form an attachment that can potentially ruin his barely restored relationship with Alhaitham)
The only time in my recent shipping experiences when I’m like “oh yes. These two can have all of the miscommunication tropes possible”, I'll sit and watch it in the first row-
#genshin impact#genshin impact kaveh#genshin impact alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#i think i subconsciously challenge myself to spew as much angst at them as humanly possible#they are so amazing as characters i can't stop exploring them in different dynamics and situations#can't wait to learn more about kaveh and his traumatic life experiences-👀#quick edit: i also think kaveh accidentally became my comfort character? bc i think i for the first time see this extent#of overthinking? and to be honest same-#but we try to keep it cooler lol 😂
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live footage of sukuitafushi shippers that just finished ch. 212, on their way to write the ungodliest, nastiest, most degenerate, depraved and immoral fics that ao3 has ever seen
#go on im just over here looking👁👁#can't wait to get traumatized by the new content#the devil works hard but insane ao3 writers work harder#jjk 212#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#itafushi#sukuita#ah yes drama#🍿
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Anon, I love you so much. Thank you for sending your story in. I have so many follow up questions. I have ZERO idea if people would be safe and comfortable seeing it if I posted it normally, so it's going down here under a readmore:
From Anon:
"So, when I was nine my Dad got super sick. He ended up mostly fine, bit braindamaged, missing a chunk of leg, no problem. This story starts after he woke up from his unexplained three week coma. He had a massive leg infection and so the medical staff left his leg's skin...just off? Like, his upper thigh was just open to the elements so that the pump they kept on it could continuously remove puss. I'm struggling to describe it because one day before school I walked in unannounced and apparently the nurse had just stepped out, because the blanket was gone and the pump was removed and so little baby me who came by to steal my dad's hospital hot cocoa was confronted with just, open, skinned, pussy leg muscles. My mother grabbed me so fast it felt like I was in a car and someone slammed the breaks. Still better than the time I saw my dad's large intestines."
#WAIT YES I CAN HOLD ON#there are so many graphic deets I can't put under a readmore [oiuygfghoijpu#medical tw#injury tw#infection#I need to know why you saw his intestines so bad#unless it's traumatic and you don't wanna tell me in which case no I don't lol
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Guys guys guys !!!!!! Just picture it.
Bad ending Kuras with this theme.
youtube
Imagine...
Kuras slowly revealing his true form to you, wings after wings coming from now what has become a blinding source of light. Too many tearing eyes watching you with what could be described as melancholy. His soft voice echoes through the air, yet his look translates a certain fatality you didn't even consider.
"It is useless, MC. Your apologies came belated."
You feel your body, no, your entire being, your soul crushed with unsufferable anguish. Pure terror runs under your skin, He can't hurt you… he can't, right ?
"Stay still."
His words come adding a weight to you, you're stuck to the ground, unable to move nor talk. You can only raise your gaze to peer at what ressembles his face. The eyes you meet are far too familiar, golden tears flowing from them. He doesn't even try to blink.
It is too late.
#kuras#touchstarved game#touchstarved kuras#angst#kuras x reader#touchstarved#red spring studios#scenario#touchstarved imagines#touchstarved fic#not really a fic but you get it ?#this song is so good tho omg how can you make it sound so celestial yet absolutely terrifying i-#i love him so much i can't wait to see his angelic form !!#i just know the simple sight of it would traumatize us if he was real :')#so little content for him#imagines
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Cale (from ND au): ah, yes, when I noticed my mask was sliding, I have a bit of panic, I get into a closet and practice some good old breath exercises, nothing special
The APs who where there: 👁️👄👁️ bitch, that's not how it went
Cale, copping (gaslighting) himself again: shut up, I don't even know what you're talking about
#i can't wait to write the 'disaster'#he's so stupid i love him#lcf#lout of the count’s family#kim rok soo#cale henituse#krs neurodivergent au#moonsoupstar's fic#cale after traumatized the APs for life (it was an accident): haha. we're gonna laugh about it#APs: SHUT UP WE'RE NOT
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Things I discussed with my show-only friend tonight:
RJ's bdsm *thing*
Whether Rand was playing Lanfear or Lanfear was playing Rand
Lanfear was def playing Rand
How she wished that Rand been playing 4d chess and asked to see Tam instead of Egwene because she loves Tam and wanted him and Rand to see each oyher again
Also to protect Egwene from Lanfear because my friend could already tell that Lanfear is a danger to anyone Rand romantically loves
How much she wanted Egwene to burst through the a'dam's power and burn Renna to a crisp during the tree burning scene
She can never remember Ingtar's name and kind of thought it was Earl but that sounded wrong so she calls him Pretty Eyes
She's been suspicious of Elayne ever since she was introduced but now she's pretty sure Elayne isn't a darkfriend
How brutal everything was with Ryma
She thinks that Mat should've just told Rand why he couldn't go with him and I told said it wouldn't be WoT if characters actually communicated
Everything that haopened with Ryma was brutal and she wants Egwene to break free and burn the Seanchan to the ground
We both agree Madeleine Madden deserves ALL of the awards
I love her reactions it's so much fun seeing things through the eyes of someone who hasn't read the books
#we also joked about travel distances and everything being two hours from bobby's gouse#*house#which is a very old spn fandom joke from our bad old fandome days#anyway can't wait to see what happens this week! i'm sure none of our blorbos will be traumatized at all! 🙃#wheel of time#wot show spoilers
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not me asking old acquaintances if they want to go see Eraserhead with me like it's the normalest thing ever
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"That's Santal 33."
"Wtf does that mean"
"It means you smell good, dumbass"
"Oh thanks"
#how i feel like this went in their heads#the amount of fan fic ideas i got from this scene alone#can't wait to share them with you#red white and royal blue#yes i'm watching it again#i'm traumatized#not boring
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Roleswap(?) (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#ZEX#The Captain#As easy as this would be for a Setup - y'know lol - this idea actually came from an angst perspective#I mean - initially it would be fun and fine! ZEX gets his wish of a human! Doesn't have those 20 years of waiting and pining#Building up the idea in his head until he becomes So desperate that anything short of perfection is- Well hmm ♪#I just keep getting stuck on the idea of that common trope of ''What made you like this?'' :/#Or worse yet ''Did someone do something to you to make you like this?''#An older human taking advantage of a brilliant young VUX! Are there no depths to which they won't sink!#Nevermind that no one would listen and he becomes a martyr yet again but this time not the scapegoat#''Oh poor traumatized ZEX he really never was the same after that'' ''It's so unfortunate but you can't blame him too much''#As if any of them actually knew him at all huah#Until he speaks just a little too loudly about how he Wanted this he Reciprocated and it becomes too much of a nuisance to sympathize#The angst I'm telling you#He's in a very unfair situation no matter what! Either way he's being looked down on#Anything to spin things to be humans' fault! Anything to sweep deviation under the rug!#I wonder if he'd even be able to fight humans if this was the flow of things - would he be emotionally detached enough?#Would he even be allowed to? Worry of instability or defection? Is it worse to be disinvolved in the War with a mind like his?#So many moving pieces that would shake out so differently from just one chance encounter at a different time!#He's so integral to so many things having happened the way they did hehe <3 He's very important!#I also like to imagine that even being younger he'd still err on the eloquent side hehe ♪ VUX upbringing! Fanciful ♫#His usual speech but just a little more hurried and nervous hehe <3 Complimenting his human's hair ♪
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NOT ME NEARLY BEING DRIVEN TO TEARS MULTIPLE TIMES OVER UNCONFIRMED TWST THEORIES WHEN DID I BECOME SO UNWELL
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twisted wonderland#twst theory#yes they are mostly about diasomnia#yes i am a malleus girly are we surprised#he's pretty and lonely and sad and traumatized he ticks all my boxes#book 7 is not my friend and i can't wait to devour it in the most unhealthy way imaginable#twst book 7#twst english#twst book 7 spoilers#the brainrot is brainrotting
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Mr James Roach I am pleading with you, nay begging.
Please don't massacre my boy gamzee
I don't think you hate him the way Hussie did/does
And if you could like fix some of the decisions made about him and his writing I would really really appreciate it
#homestuck#gamzee makara#james roach#imma be real i saw gamzee and my brain went 'oh traumatized groomed mentally-ill child growing up like me! i can't wait#to experience catharsis through his rich character development and gamzee realizing he doesn't have to 'get better' to be loved#that one doctor who quote#just this once everybody lives#please#just this once
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So I've been in a bit of a blocked headspace recently, and when Jambee retweeted that one pic- of Jack looking at himself basically- I got struck with an idea.
I figured it was gonna be about 300 words but here we are about 743 words later, haha! Hope ya'll enjoy!
(Idr how to read more on mobile, whoops, hope this doesnt clog up too much space!)
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Mirrors.
There was nothing worse, honestly.
He'd been glad his Sunshine just assumed he couldn't see his reflection since they couldn't. Lying to them is something he wouldn't have had it in him to do, although he certainly didn't want to tell them the truth either.
He could see his reflection.
Although reflections were supposed to show yourself, were they not?
He couldn't tell which one of them was the real him.
The real him...
Who was the real him?
Surely this was, wasn't it?
Blue hair, red face paint, primary colored clothing and a chipper tune.
But if this truely was him, then why didn't his reflection, well, reflect that?
Brown hair, tired eyes, and those tattoos he eventually wished he'd never gotten.
None of that was him, no. At least, not anymore. It was quite clear when he looked down at himself and saw that he was how he wanted to be.
So why was he the one staring back at him? Why did his reflection not reflect him?!
Is this not good enough?
Sunny Day Jack was perfect.
Perfect bod, perfect friend, perfect at keeping his life together, perfect lover-
He could go on about how perfect he was.
It was quite the struggle to get here, so why shouldn't he feel a little bit proud about how perfect he'd become?
Yet here I am, still like this.
Sure his past may be a bit more... Imperfect. But we all make mistakes at some point! As long as we learn from them and do better, that's what matters most. That's how one becomes perfect.
The perfect spouse, the perfect defender, the perfect caregiver, the perfect actor-
There was a gunshot, and then...
He was perfect for the role, because he was the role! Nobody embodied Sunny Day Jack better than he, for he was THE Sunny Day Jack!
...
Was
...
It's clear he's not too happy with himself. With who he was. He tried so hard to change, to be perfect- for everyone else's sake! Say the right things, don't do the wrong things, and bury, bury, bury, bury, BURY everything that wasn't relevant to his new life anymore.
He tried so d- so HARD to make sure everything would be perfect and yet...
The reality he was a ghost had not escaped him.
His Sunshine was the only one who could see him, hear him, touch him...
If being unseen and unheard and unfelt by the world at large wasn't the qualities of a ghost, then what was it?
He cherished the bond he had with his beloved Sunshine. They gave him reprieve from that torment, proved that perhaps God had heard his prayers and sent someone to save him-
Saving that wouldn't need done if it wasn't for-
A gloved hand rested on the mirror. His reflection looked like it was crying. Was he crying too? He couldn't tell.
And quite frankly, the anger beginning to bubble up didn't care.
If it wasn't for a couple stupid mistakes, this mess wouldn't have ever been a thing! Why couldn't you have just stopped and thought about things for once in your life?! Maybe actually thought about the future and what you could have done to help it?! No, no no no no no! Making a statement right then and there was all that mattered. Yes, nothing truly important mattered until you had already messed everything up, and left it to a different, actually mature version of yourself to fix-
"Jaaack? Where aaaare youuuu?~"
A familiar voice carried from the bedroom.
It snapped Jack out of his thoughts and he froze, a fist he did not realize he had raised mere inches from shattering the mirror. His reflection stared back him, hollow and desperate.
He looked away, embarrassed. Slowly, he lowered his arms and relaxed his grip.
What a silly reaction, shattering a mirror wouldn't do anything but-
-but bury things yet again.
Perhaps it best some things stay buried.
"I'm in the living room Sunspot!~"
His voice rang out, matching his beloved's sing-song tune.
Already he was doing his best to forget what almost transpired. Moving quickly to the couch and plastering on his signature smile, his mind took heed and moved onto more important matters.
Such as looking up to see his bright little ray of Sunshine emerging from the hallway with a blanket in one hand and a dvd in the other.
"Movie night?"
He patted the open spot next to him.
"I'd love nothing more."
#minors dni#heeheehee#is this angst? i think this counts as angst#hope ya'll liked it#let's suffer together#sunny day jack#something's wrong with sunny day jack#sdj#swwsdj#that poor man is so traumatized#i can't wait for the existential crisis/mental breakdown he's gonna have in the full game#i mean i would like to hug him and help him through it#but also I'm a messy bitch of a writer and I enjoy messy moments
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there’s like one step to finish everything, so i don’t want to build any expectations. but i think i just entered veterinary in like one of my top five chosen universities
#i'm so traumatized from the past few years#that i don't even want to celebrate until i'm like. there. in the campus.#but yeah. insanity and screaming and crying wish i could just do that#can't wait to pour myself a champagne and bawl my eyes out
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alone in the void where I slowly fade away.. i disappear
#bpd#emptiness#void#i'm alone#i want out#can't wait to be free#feeling awful#sick of it#traumatized#mentally ill#i hate it here#everything hurts#people are poison#i can't do this anymore#i want peace#so tired#exhausted#angry#empty#need another world#or nothing#want to disappear#don't want to exist#fade away
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