“you scared me." 🤝 “yeah i about had a heart attack.” 🤝 “i can’t lose you the way i lost her.”

the holy trinity.

except it’s not true? that carlos likes to fix things. that’s just iris’ perception, but then he explains his side of things and it’s something else entirely that ties back to his struggles with self acceptance. I’m not saying the writers don’t sometimes reuse some elements but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. also sorry not @ you but your anon calling tarlos buddie light is so dumb, like this is why there’s this stupid feud between the fandoms. they are fundamentally different ships. and I’m saying this as a fan of both but buddie hasn’t been ‘better written’ than tarlos in a long time. they’re on the same boat of mediocre sometimes better sometimes worse writing, let’s not kid ourselves. but you know. at least they allow tarlos to interact.

No where in my post did I say he is also a guy who likes to fix things, though. I specifically quoted the fixer-upper term that she used. And even though Carlos shrugged it off as him actually trying to fix himself, the point still stands that Bob, the same writer from the OG episode in which that train of thought originated, used it to show an outside perspective on Carlos much like Eddie did to Buck. But if we take it a step further...Is that not what Buck has also done? Been with someone because he was trying to trick himself into believing it was what he wanted and it would work out for the best? Just because both characters aren't canonically gay doesn't mean their struggles can't be viewed/written similarly.

I get that the Tarlos v. Buddie discourse causes problems, but I think everyone would get along better if they acknowledged the commonalities without taking them as a personal attack on their preferred media. Buddie and Tarlos are both one Latino man + one white man. Carlos married a woman because he tried to conform. What if Eddie were to end up confessing about his sexuality? Will he have conformed, too? What's his story? (And tbh, he also did what was expected of him by marrying Shannon because she was having his kid.) Tarlos fans got to see a worried Carlos by TK's bedside. Buck didn't do that, wouldn't do that, because Eddie had a gf. Buddie has a discussion about a will that's just two dudes being pals. Tarlos has a discussion about a will that segues into a marriage proposal.

You've actually supported why this never-ending argument exists with your observation that they're fundamentally different - the only reason a statement like this can be made is because one ship's interactions are allowed to be viewed as romantic while the other's is a "great friendship" that may never be written as anything else. Similar story lines are going to get similar reactions regardless of (alleged) intent. If Tim doesn't want that, he shouldn't be taking things from OG and going "What if we made it gay instead?"

Abandoned Loki Theories

My best friend and I tend to watch the same media, and Loki was no different. However, we no longer live in the same place, we have different schedules, and I am a much bigger Loki fan than she is (so I was much more likely to turn on the new episode as soon as I got home from work, no matter what). But since I want to remember everything I want to talk to her about after we both watch the episode, I have taken to making notes in my phone while watching. I usually condensed these notes into something more coherent before we talked, but I saved the original notes. I recently reread these incoherent, mostly caps-locked reactions, and compiled several ideas I had while watching episodes that I've since abandoned.

"Wait, is she a Timekeeper?" So this is a direct quote from one of my reactions, and I don't remember if I was referring to Renslayer or Sylvie, but I'm pretty sure it was one or the other. Obviously, since Renslayer didn't know she was a variant and the Timekeepers turned out to be fake anyway, I doubt either one is true.

C-20 isn't dead: Man, I hope this is still true; she and Sylvie had some great fake chemistry. I was once a spn fan (and my brain sometimes thinks I still am), and I refuse to accept death in shows if I don't see the body. But sadly I think if she was still alive she'd have shown up by now.

TVA planted memories of Sylvie's arrest as a child; she's really from post-Infinity War: So this was in part when I thought Sylvie was genderfluid like Loki, rather than a transwoman (as in consistently one gender), so the timeline as we know it was the same both events and gender-wise, and then at some point after faking their death, their gender shifted. Either Sylvie changed her name as an alias or as a fem name (or a name that better fits her just in her opinion; she can be Sylvie even if she's having a masc or nb day). But while I think it's possible for the TVA to have altered her memories (it's explicitly been stated that they can do it, after all), I think it's too involved for a side plot. There's too much else going on. Plus I think she's a transwoman not genderfluid.

Lamentis nexus event was a paradox; there can't be two variants together: I refuse to believe the nexus event was Sylvie and Loki falling in love (though that'd be a little paradoxical as well). I think the nexus event involves both of them, and I don't think it's for the reason Mobius thinks it is. But they were in the same place the entire episode, and the TVA didn't find them until right before they bit it, so I don't think it was just them together that caused it. I don't think it was love, at least not romantic. Loki doesn't even seem to consider this a possibility until Mobius suggested it. My new thought is this: either the catalyst is they both make the decision to trust each other (which is not something a Loki does often), or this is the moment Loki looks at Sylvie and for the first time sees the true scope of his own potential, stretching bright and beautiful and endless within this fearless, resilient version of him. This is a very subtle recreation of that one panel from I don't know which comic of a bunch of Lokis standing around and then they start whispering into each other's ears, "You can escape."

(I do not know if this is a legit panel or an edit, I'm sorry.)

Various people being Loki variants-- Renslayer, Kang, etc.: This one makes sense for why I abandoned it. Both have variants (in Kang's case, at least, canonically many) of themselves that we've already seen.

Classic Loki is Old Loki from AoA: His character design, his age, the fact that Old Loki canonically messes with the timeline, too, it made sense before hearing his backstory. And listen, seeing Kid Loki and Old Loki at the very end of the episode? I spent an entire week going feral with AoA thoughts. But the backstory doesn't match up.

Hello, Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening!!

For the Ask Game: Blaze

do I like them:

Blaze used to be my favourite character when I first got into Sonic, and she's still my favourite female character of the whole cast. So yep! ^-^

5 good qualities:

Even though she is a princess, she never lets that power get to her head. Instead, she treats her responsibilities with the utmost seriousness, and we can see in Rush Adventure that her subjects adore her.

Once she has become available in Rush Adventure, the player has NO reason to EVER play with Sonic anymore (except for the obligatory minigame islands, iirc?): Blaze's jump is so much higher, she's got flame resistance (hello, Sky Babylon), and I never got the feeling she is even remotely slower than Sonic or has a slower-raising Tension Gauge. Blaze's gameplay is superior in every way; change my mind.

Speaking about fire, pyrokinesis! Love myself some psychic powers :> I also like how the drawbacks of possessing such powers are touched upon, with Blaze being isolated due to her duties and because people fear her powers(?), and then furthermore also inflicting that isolation on herself and rejecting friendship. It's a surprisingly realistic description of what it would be like to have such powers in a world where no-one else does, in my opinion.

Sonic Rush has an amazing storyline: sweet, touching, interesting, and simply plain fun! I couldn't have asked for a better game for Blaze to be introduced in, not to mention she plays just as good as/even better than Sonic himself.

I honestly can't recall ever disliking one of her voice actors, even though she's undergone some changes in those over time. They don't all sound the exact same, but I feel like they all give Blaze a voice that nicely fits her.

3 bad qualities:

Does she have a family? Does she have parents or other kin who rule over the kingdom while she is away on adventures? Eggman Nega states it was her royal family who kept the Scepter safe for ages in Rush Adventure, but no mention is made of whether they are alive or not. Blaze herself states she 'has always been alone because of her powers' in Rush, so just what is going on with her family?

It's also hard to think of any for her, just like with Espio... Maybe, for a character who is often linked with Silver, it would be nice to actually see the two build up the friendship they had in 06? I feel like it would make their team-ups be a bit more believable than just 06 nostalgia.

favourite episode/etc:

Sonic Rush! I also like the final boss of Rush Adventure, with Sonic telling her she has to keep a level head as Princess of the Sol Empire to protect her people.

otp:

Used to be Silvaze, currently none.

brotp:

With Silver!

ot3:

Also none.

notp:

And none!

best quote:

Her speech from Sonic Rush in her storyline when fighting Sonic and the aftermath always touched me; even without voice acting, it is raw and full of emotion without diving into angst territory, in my opinion. It also helps that it is short but sweet, and it gives a good explanation just why Blaze is so opposed to having friends. And afterwards, when Sonic gives her his advice, she listens! For me, it very nicely shows off her character development over the game.

head canon:

Has learned over time to use her pyrokinesis for more mundane things, like heating up a cold cup of tea or starting a fire in the fireplace with little issue. She used to dislike doing that before meeting Sonic because she felt that was a banal use of her powers, but she's warmed up to the idea that they exist to make life easier for her and others, and thus can be used for the simple and more unimportant things as well.

RE: JUNGKOOK CHANGED IN RUN

Anon:

Why did Jungkook not want to be on Jimin's team in the last run episode? He has changed a lot from before. Thoughts.

My first thought is, you don't gotta interpret everything in a negative light.

Not every strong reaction is a bad reaction.

I'd be a phony ass fraud if I sat here and told you with my two thumbs that I didn't raise a brow at that moment. I did.

Especially when you contrast that episode with run 112 which falls on all fours with this current situation- ok may not all fours.

But in that video, like many others, RM had suggested they form teams based on the sunglasses they wore, just as he had suggested they form teams based on the seating arrangements.

Of course he'd meant it as a Joke just as we discussed in a previous blog post. Personally, I expected they make a draw, rock papers or even dance in circles like they did in the other episode to decide who got who in the competition.

But it seems in all the times he's been paired with JM he's been supper thrilled about it. He even warned the members not to underestimate him and JM when they'd unanimously concluded they were the disadvantaged team in the game- Jin not even bothering to ask them what their scores were on Korean.

He reset the timer to 10 seconds when Jk pointed out he wasn't good at reading fast

When the time stopped and they were asked to make a team of four, he turned to find JM almost immediately as if to make sure JM was part of the four, he held on to his arm to prevent RM from breaking the link.

He was supposed to pair with Yoongi and Jimin with Tae but he didn't even try to find Suga. At least V did try to find Jimin. He moved towards JM and when he realized JK was hugging him he went for Suga.

Throughout the episode he was giving JM tips on how to cheat and shot when he wasn't sure of the answers.

Yet in the last run, he didn't seem as enthusiastic about being paired with JM- or so, he'd have us believe. Smirk.

He ain't slick. Lol.

To me he seemed, on the surface of it, either really salty about the others having Jin or RM on their teams or upon reflection, just plain ass overcompensating for something.

I'd go with the later.

It's similar to how, Jimin got the Sauna card and he'd complained about not liking the Sauna but then swapped cards with Tae so he could be on JM's team.

Or how he'd make a theatrical show of wanting to win a competition but smirk satisfactorily to himself when he loses.

I really don't think it's a big deal.

Personally, I love watching them paired up and doing such activities. It's a great way to see how they work together as partners and as a team.

It's also a great way for them to spend time with eachother, enjoy eachother, nurture their bond and strengthen their relationship.

Fanservice or not, scripted or not, you cannot deny that spending time together doing activities together is good for building a relationship.

They spend a considerable about of time together off cameras but a lot of their time is spent on cameras and at work.

They gotta find a way to make their relationship work on the work as I keep saying. All that 'fanservice' people say they are doing? That's them making it work. They gotta find a way to go on dates, feed eachother, hold each other's hands, tell Jokes, laugh at eachother's jokes, express their attraction for each other, flirt, share eachother's interests and do things couples do without inviting public scrutiny to their every interaction and invasion of their privacy.

So where they see an opportunity they go for it. For JK it's the the little decisions he makes on their behalf like choosing where they will sleep, what activities they can do together, wanting the bigger room, making sure JM wins the presidential suite, or choosing a room detached from the other rooms.

He invests in his relationship the best way he can. Same goes for Jimin.

I keep saying this whole fanservice culture is a win win situation for them- for even any queer idol couple in the same band.

What seem like a challenge could technically be an opportunity for a date for them without dispatch breathing down their necks.

A typical example would be this. Jimin said he wanted to go get Yoga with the others but ended up going with YoonKook on their brewery excursion.

The more time they spend together, on and off cameras the more closer they get and the more they get to know eachother on a deeper level.

But you have to bare in mind, they need their personal spaces too in order for their relationship to function properly.

Jimin used can be very needy in his relationship but for the most part he enjoys his independence too.

Jk has always had a strong sense of independence but he can equally be quote needy and over attached once he is in a relationship- especially when things are going great for him.

Spending time apart, persuing personal goals and interest is good for them.

If it helps, think of moments when they hang around eachother as Jikook dates and when they hang quietly in the background of videos do think of those as them having their me times at work...

Would they miss an opportunity to 'date' or hang privately with eachother? I don't think so.

It's in their dicks interests and the interest of whole production team and crew to allow them to be around eachother as often and as much as they want and can.

I for one, I'm not prepared to sit through yet another excruciating episode of Jungkook wanting Jimin- physically and emotionally. I'm still dealing with the PTSD from the last BonV four episodes.

Y'all buy me Ko-fi please. I don't intend to sit through that shit sober.

If Jk is pushing to be on JM's team and what not it's mostly because he feels he needs to spend more time with him. If he's not pushing for that it just means he or they are both allowing for space and room in their relationship for eachother to pursue other activities and interests or even connect with other members- unless of course they are having relationship problems which I don't think is the case.

Jimin is particularly good at this.

He goes out of his way to nurture his relationship with the others even on set.

He does this especially with Tae.

He'd take Tae to go see places he and JK had already been to, he'd request to take pirate rides with Tae- even though JK is available and won't hesitate to let him know, he often make plans involving Tae or even the others- in Soop when Tae asked him to go ride around the town with him he chose to stay and manspread on Jin and Yoongi. *I'm cackling. Lmho.

Jimin is a funny guy.

Now does this mean he doesn't like spending time with Tae or that he's changed? Hell no.

Hell, Tae does the same thing from time to time too. I mean when he found out he had picked a Sauna card he asked to swap it knowing very well Jimin had picked that card too. Soulmates coulda soulmated that shit in hot piles of steamy.

Sure JK lurks around sometimes. He is the resident intruder stepping on Jimin's other ships' neck. Love him for this. Lol.

Perfect Disney villian.

Tae had to drag his ass away from the kitchen for intruding when he and JM were cooking in the Kitchen. Let's not talk about him physically removing him from JM's car or all the times he's complained about JK raining on his Vmin agenda.

When V wanted to be on a team with JM this man literally sabotaged him, hugging Jimin first. It's his laughter afterwards for me. Lmho.

V needs to insure his Jimin cos at this point it's trademark infringement. Hashtag soulmates. Lololol.

Jk needs to go ahead and free Vmin.

But JM does this too, in much more subtle ways- I'll never forget the look he had on his face when he had to get off the bus and walk home as punishment. It was the most heart breaking thing I ever seen.

Then he had to hang off Hobi to get JK to leave his friends and come to him.

It's why I used an ellipsis the last time I talked about Jimin being very mature now. Old Jimin would have, clapped back, made JK pay for that outburst if he genuinely thought JK meant what he said or believed JK really wanted to be on a team with someone else.

Y'all don't see him when JK compliments other people? He stays kicking his feet under the table🤣🤣🤣🤣

I used to pinch a gurl I liked when other gals talked to her when I was little- In my defense, I didn't even know I liked her or that it was straight up abuse💀

Jimin can be pretty scary and petty when he's mad or offended.

If it helps you sleep at might, think of this moment as just another one of those 'we've been a unit for so long do you wanna be with someone else now' scene from February last year.

Jk answered yes when JM asked him that. But do you really think he meant it?

Jikook is complex, not complicated.

They love eachother.

We can't be looking at their interactions as either or. Grey areas exist and it's not a negative thing.

Signed,

GOLDY

Chapter 1: English Boy

Sage's POV:

7:00am and the alarm went off. It's been 3 days of this new lifestyle I'm trying to live and I'm actually enjoying the extra time I have in the mornings, given the fact I used to wake up somewhere around 11am, but hey! Adulting and productivity at it's finest, or so I like to believe.

I recently moved to L.A to pursue that dreamy fresh start every 20-something year old dreams of. After just a few days here, I found a job in a little coffee shop and have been working there since, it's really cool actually, the place is amazing, the staff is nice and I'm a whore for coffee so it's a win-win situation.

Getting out of bed after checking my phone for any notifications that I might have missed in my sleep, but all I got were a bunch of messages from my sister having a crisis after finishing the last episode of The Vampire Diaries, and I mean... I get her.

I'm really taking this whole new and improved lifestyle very seriously, I'm meditating and everything, even lighting some incense here and there to get the whole scene and mood going.

After my whole yogi moment I went to the bathroom and started getting ready for work. I stared at myself in the mirror and said my daily affirmations: "I'm smart, I'm capable, I'm a bad bitch, I'm worth it, and I'm loved" I tell myself pushing back the memories as I say that last part. Today is going to be a good day because I have an early shift so that means I get to work with my sister, who was the one that got me the job in the first place.

I am pretty basic when it comes to clothes and always prioritize comfort over looks, unless I go out. Only then and there will I risk my wellbeing and wear high heels and tiny ass dresses to remind myself that I can also be THAT bitch. On the day to day I'm pretty basic. I really like warm colors so most of my closet is based around that color scheme.

I made my way (downtown) in this chaotic ass, traffic-filled city that I love very much, hating myself for even thinking about A Thousand Miles as I drive myself to work and officially start my day.

After saying hi to the staff and starting getting everything ready, Sydney arrives.

"I'm sorry! I overslept" Syd said as she rushed behind the counter to the back of the shop and got ready for her shift.

"Chill, it's still pretty early. You still have 20 minutes and I already got everything set up" I reassured her.

"You're an angel, thanks" she said, coming behind me and hugging me.

A few hours into the shift I started cleaning some tables and saw a group of people coming in. And as I was about to greet them, I heard a familiar voice.

"Sage?" I looked at her and recognized her immediately.

"Holy shit Sarah!" I said smiling and hugging her, she hugged me back and introduced me to her friends.

"Guys, this is Sage. We were neighbors back in London". "This is Charlotte" she said and Charlotte greeted me with a hug

"So nice to meet you" She said with a big smile on her face.

"You too!" I said, smiling back.

"And this is Ny", Sarah said gesturing towards her

"Hi!" She said and we hugged too.

We walked to the counter and I took their order.

"Sydney? Since when do you two live here?" Sarah said as soon as she saw my sister.

"We moved here with my dad a few months ago, mom stayed back in London though" Sydney explained smiling at her.

As I gave them their order, Sarah said "we should get together, catch up and drink some wine like our moms did when we were little, it's our time to have those kinds of nights" Us three laughed remembering those days and how close our moms are. "The girls and the rest of the group are coming over to my house tomorrow for dinner and you two are coming" she gave me a stern look knowing that I'm not one to be around many people.

"Fine, we'll be there" Syd and I agreed, exchanging phone numbers with Sarah and getting back to work.

*The next day*

It was nearly 4:00 pm when I left work after my shift ended. Sarah's dinner started at 9:00 but she texted me earlier telling me to be there at 7:00 so we could have some time to catch up just the two of us.

I got home and decided to call my mom to tell her about yesterday.

"Hi mom" I greeted her as she answered the FaceTime call.

"Hi sweetie, how was your day? I'm sorry I couldn't call you back yesterday, the girls came over and we had a wine night" she said laughing.

"It's fine mom, don't worry" I reassured her, "Speaking of wine nights, I ran into Sarah yesterday at the cafe.

"Sarah Jones? Wow, you two hadn't seen each other since she moved! How is she?".

"She's great. I'm going to her house today to catch up and meet some of her friends" I told her.

"I heard from her mom that she's drumming for this English boy, maybe you know him!" She said

"Wouldn't know mom, I just recently started following her social media and haven't had the time to stalk her" I said laughing and she joined me.

We talked just for a little while given the time zone, then said our goodbyes because it was getting late and I had to start getting ready. I headed to my bathroom and began undressing as I put on some music. I chose one of my favorite playlists called "Middle School Me" which is basically my indie-emo-punk phase and I love it.

*Something Good Can Work* started playing and I can't help but move to the little beat as I entered the shower. I did the usual and washed my hair so it's easier to style later.

I finished my shower, wrapping myself in a towel and wrapping my hair on an old cotton t-shirt because I learned from a youtube blogger that that's the best way to prevent frizz, and I hope and pray it works because I've been bleaching my hair and it's coming to bite me in the ass now.

I moisturized and opened my closet deciding on what to wear, and after trying on my top 3 choices, I went for a black dress because you can NEVER go wrong with a black dress, and dressed it down a bit with some black boots and a oversized denim jacket that I stole from one of Sydney's ex.

I like wearing short sleeves because you can see my tattoos, which I love and adore with all my heart.

I got my keys, checked my phone to see if Sarah sent me the address already which she did, double checked that I had everything I needed in my purse and headed to the door. I got in my car and continued listening to my playlist and laughed as Avril Lavigne started playing and I sang along as I made my way to Sarah's house.

I arrived with 10 minutes to spear and rang the bell. Sarah opened the door and gave me a tight hug which I gladly accepted and hugged her as well. "Holy shit, you look great! Come in" she said, giving me space to walk through the door and into her house. She took my purse and my jacket and handed me a glass of wine which I took and thanked her for. "Where's Sydney?" She asked, seeing that I came by myself.

"She has a test on Monday so she stayed home".

"Oh yeah, you live with your dad right?" She asked, sitting down on the couch and I took a seat next to her.

"No, just Syd. I have my own place, it's not that far from here actually" I explained.

"That means you're hosting the next wine night" she said, making me laugh.

After a little catching up I remembered what my mom told me and ask Sarah,

"So, my mom told me you're some English boy's new drummer" I told her, bringing the wine glass to my lips to take a sip.

She laughed out loud "some 'English boy', oh my god that is amazing. But yes, I actually just came back from touring with him. Ny and Charlotte are also in the band and the guys you'll meet today too" she said.

"Oh, and am I meeting the English boy today as well?" I ask grinning.

"Yes, but I'm not telling you who he is, I want to see you shitting your pants when you meet him".

"Is it Tom Misch? Because if it is I will actually shit myself".

"I guess you'll have to see when he arrives" she laughed and I told her that's no fun.

It was now 9-ish and people started arriving. The first one to arrive is Mitch, who I greeted and hugged as Sarah introduced us. And I swear I could feel a type of vibe going on between them but I decided to push aside and interrogate Sarah about it another time. Then Ny and Charlotte arrived and when they saw me they approached happily to greet me which I appreciated because I was starting to get anxious about meeting all these new people.

"I was telling Sage about how we are the band for this 'English boy' as she called him" Sarah air quoted telling them as they sat on the couch and some chairs around the coffee table.

"English boy? yes, I guess you could say so" Mitch said, laughing.

"Hey! it was my mom who called him that in the first place" I said smiling while pouring Ny a glass of wine.

We continued talking about random topics, I told them a little bit about myself, and they did the same. I stood up and went to the bathroom, and as I was walking out the door I bumped into somebody.

"Omg I'm sorry, I wasn't looki-" I stared up at him and holy shit! It's Harry Styles.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine." he said "I'm the English boy, you must be Sage". He said, stretching out his hand to greet me

"Yes. Nice to meet you English boy." I said, stretching out my hand to shake his, blushing at the fact Sarah already told him but not surprised at all that she did.

"Well, if you excuse me I have to take a wee" he said, laughing and I moved to let him go into the bathroom. I walked to the kitchen and saw Sarah there.

"What the actual fuck Sarah Jones?! English boy is THE Harry Styles?" I said shocked to which she laughed.

"He is. I figured you wouldn't know because I know you, and I can tell you don't follow him like you do to others, but I told you you would shit your pants because I know deep down there, directioner Sage still exists" She said, eating a grape out of the charcuterie board she's preparing.

"Ok first of all, I was NOT a directioner. I liked a couple songs and that's it" I joked, trying to minimize it. "And if I had to choose one I'd go with Zayn" I told her, rolling my eyes jokingly. "But still, wow. I really don't follow him or his solo music really, but this is huge Sarah! I'm so happy for you" I told her, feeling genuinely happy for her.

"Yes, we have a great team. I'm giving you a copy of the album because I know you haven't properly listened to it" She said. Which is true. I only listened to Only Angel once on the radio, and it's actually a great song, it was stuck in my head for like a week. I might give this album a chance and crank it in my apartment.

We headed to the living room and Harry followed behind as soon as he exited the bathroom. He got behind me near my ear and said, "Sarah told me you're not a fan, I gotta say it really hurts my ego but I might push it behind and turn you into a fan".

"Oh, really?" I said, raising an eyebrow and turning to him.

"Well, whether or not you become a fan it's up to you, but I would like to get to know you and you to know me, the actual me I mean" he said, sitting next to me.

"We'll see about that" I told him as I brought the wine glass to my lips. I wondered if this thing actually looked hot like in the movies or if I just looked like an idiot.

We continued talking and laughing as Sarah told stories about our teen years and all the stupid shit we did.

"And that's how Sage broke her arm on a date" she finished the embarrassing ass story which I wished she had forgotten, but how could she... she was the one that came to my rescue when I fell down the window trying to sneak out the boys house when his parents got there. We definitely lived the best teen years together, I really missed her and I'm glad we met again.

Around 2:00 am I decided it was time to head back home,

"Guys it was lovely meeting all of you and I'm sure we'll hang out again soon but I really need to go" I said standing up.

"Oh come on Sage!" Charlotte complained laughing, "it's still pretty early".

"I know but I have an early shift tomorrow so I should get going" I grabbed my jacket and my purse and started to make my way around saying goodbye to everyone, thanking that I only had one glass of wine because I wouldn't be able to drive otherwise.

As I got to Harry he smiled as he hugged me "Maybe I'll come visit you tomorrow at work. Ny says your apple pie is out of this world" he said.

"If I may say so myself, it's pretty fucking awesome" I said laughing.

"Bye Sarah" I said, hugging her and walking to my car.

I arrived, got ready for bed, and stared at the ceiling until I managed to push behind all the dark thoughts and memories that haunt me daily, and finally fell asleep.

First of all I love your meta. Second I still can't believe Dabb really said "pathways". My question is different though. I know it's old and we should focus more on the new as time goes on but I still don't understand what gives it away that what Zachariah showed to Sam and Dean is how future would be and not him toying with them. Is it 'cause he's not powerful enough for that?

Well, for 1, Zachariah outright says it, but of course there’s always room for unreliable narrarator.

For 2, there’s other elements that actually betray this like Zach actually not touching anything IN the alternate future he doesn’t belong in, but point 3 and its very long answer will actually cover some of those, as the creatives themselves explained that. (Episode written by Ben Edlund)

For 3, Ben Edlund himself says it. Now, as I know recently I’m being followed around by a bunch of goblins that want to challenge everything I say I will disclaimer, I just spent like 15 minutes searching for the quote, but seeing as it’s ten years old now, I’m struggling doing so -- I did find some very close adjacent ones below that fulfill the same purpose. I do know I reblogged it at one point in the past, because this has been enough of a point of contention it put me on the “out”s with some meta authors, as it was a discussion that some people just “can’t deal” with it being an alternate timeline/reality and choose to see it another way (ie Zach’s just fucking with them), and then along comes someone with the Edlund quote that literally says, no, this is not just some made up world by Zachariah, it’s an actual alternate timeline.

So while I can’t find that EXACT quote, in particular, I did find this one:

Kripke: –Future Dean was lying and manipulating him and we showed it to Bob—and this is, by the way, a perfect uh, model, or—

Edlund: We had crawled up our own asses, we had lit a campfire, and we were having s’mores.

Kripke: –a perfect picture of why Bob Singer is so invaluable to Supernatural. Which is, like, we show him the draft and he reads it and goes, like, “What the hell is this?!” And we’re like, “It’s cyclical! Time is cyclical!” And he’s just like, “What? What’s wrong with you? I don’t even understand what the hell any of this is! Just shut up!”

Edlund: And remember, we would come into his office and draw pictures of it—

Kripke: Yeah, yeah, we literally—

Edlund: “No, no, Bob, look! It’s a circle with a line through it and these two dashes!”

Kripke: We were drawing him a diagram of the nature of time travel in Bob’s office and he looks—he just gives us this wonderful dry look like “You’ll be drawing that for the audience?”

Edlund: Yeah, I know, right. (laughs)

Kripke: That look is called the Quiet Stop It. And then we like, “All right”, and we just knew. And it was very late, we were, like, already in prep.

Edlund: Yeah.

Kripke: We pulled that whole notion. And that was like a big through-line. That was probably like six or seven pages of the script, which when you’re that late in the game is a lot.

Edlund: Yes. But though–

Kripke: –to pull and rethink. And by the way, so mu—glad we did it.

Edlund: Much better, yeah. And it really just moved to an alternate universe model, much better. And also, there were like two pages of dialogue of Dean just going—

Kripke: Explaining it.

Edlund: “Let me again try and” –not explaining, reiterating with different metaphors to try and create a picture.

Kripke: “Time is a bus. I got off the bus. Then I got back on.”

Edlund: (laughs)

Kripke: So, yeah, that’s the process.

This actually comes from the DVD commentary, and they go on starting that the episode was originally called “Clone Wars” and had no intention of future/alternate anything, before they basically went bananas with the idea and started coming unglued about time travel.

They literally went so far as to try to draft several minutes of script explaining time travel and, instead of making it a single linear circle of time while Robert Singer looked at them like lunatics for spewing cosmic theories (boy howdy mood), they went with an alternate universe model, which still in some essence does involve time travel, but it’s basically more quantum theory of branches making infinite universes/possibilities, so at X point you chose different and thus Z event happened instead down the line, but in another universe at X point you chose a different thing so Y happened instead.

*jazz hands*

There IS also this article/interview quote with Edlund:

Another big picture aspect that comes into question with Edlund’s episode The End is whether angels can really travel into the future, or whether Zachariah was just messing with Dean’s head, Gabriel-style. “Yes, they can, but that’s a four-hour answer,” Edlund declares. “I don’t have the math to support it, either. But in my mind—and that’s all we’re dealing with right now—I think that the future is not predetermined, it’s non-constant, and the angels can travel to any number of possible futures. Predetermining something is a state of mind; it is not the law of the universe, so if you believe anything about the future, it will most likely become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is true in human nature. If I think I’m going to lose the game, I’ll lose the game. If I think I’m going to win, there’s a good chance that I’ll win.

“Free will is like a viral experiment that God left on the desk and then he left, and the angels are like, ‘What the hell is this?’ It’s messing stuff up. Satan got too close to it and he’s got a free will issue. It’s a weird thing, so when Zach took Dean into the future, I believe they just went into one possible future. The future will roughly happen this way if Dean self-prophesizes this future, because it’s hinged on his choice. Zach had no impact when he went into that future, which is a pretty important detail about the underlying physics of it—he can witness a potential future, but he can’t change it or live there. It’s not a home for the people from the past; it’s a projection of what might happen. You can take a human like Dean, put him there, have him experience all this crap, get a punch in the face and get rolled down a hill, and then get brought back to the present, but that future will never be because Dean has been changed by the trip. We’re just talking about possible futures.”

(“Inside the Mind of Ben Edlund”, Supernatural Magazine #19, Sept 2010, pp 56-57.)

Edlund, who wrote the episode, pretty resoundingly calls it a future that Zachariah had no impact on. Kripke has no particular statement to *directly verify* the same but spends the entire commentary talking about how they were gridding out time travel like lunatics getting side eyed by everyone in the office and pretty resoundingly calls it “the future” not “the other world” or “the fake world” or whatever.

Also side but like 4. This fulfills 15.09's similar intent narratively with Chuck, just different delivery as the current was building that future instead of future events undecided. Sam changed it then and there.

Honestly I wish I had the two minute scene of Dean deliriously trying to explain time and all kinds of shit drawing a crazy circle with lines and dashes because that would just be my avatar/banner/whatever forevermore what a MOOD.

Time travel actually requires greater power in SPN than just making up illusions, far as I’ve gathered. Almost anyone can Create A Space. Castiel eventually lost his time travel ability but held a same mood: when he sent Dean back in time, Cas couldn’t change anything. He could be witness to it, but he just drilled in that “Destiny Can’t Be Changed.” The end moral is that we can in fact change our current to change our future, which is basically the point of S5 (and... most of Supernatural) as a whole, but the angels retain the same mechanics pretty well-throughout on this.

That is to say though, that according to this model, there IS still a future out there written somewhere that Dean had to bury Cas in a Malak Box, got overwhelmed by depression, literally gave up, turned into a monster and killed everyone he loved with Sam until he too died. But Not This Sam, Not This Dean.

I must admit, sometimes I do feel like a ye olden solider, sending letters to my beloved across the waves during wartime. Oh my dearest Lydia, I hope the kudos and comments crops have been plentiful this season. Your last letter left me weeping. Why must you put poor Reginald through such pain?

(I gotta admit, I still can't believe that I'm talking to you. I've been looking up to your work for so long...it just feels a bit surreal, even now! Glad you like hearing my ramblings! And that you liked my vampire prompt! Did not realize you'd write back when I sent that in. Look at us now, huh?)

(Speaking of prompts, I sent those jukebox and willex ones too. And I loved them both so so much, I shall scream about them more when it is not 2 am because I need sleep)

(Oh and the update of If I Was You!!! Amazing, Stellar, Incredible, Reggie, Carrie, Julie shenanigans is my new favorite thing, DID YOU JUST DOUBLE THE CHAPTER COUNT, and I'm like 90% sure Trevor is in deep trouble with a certain angry jazz ghost. Seriously loving it)

I actually do not remember what it was like to send in 1/5 asks, because I did not get a Tumblr until very reccently! I've always been a nerdy person, but Jatp is my first time being really in a fandom. You gotta do something new in quarantine, right?

Ah yes. Luke and Emily. To me, it just seems obvious that there's so much love between them. Even with all the pain. You get it. You put it down so eloquently.

As for what kind of stories I like to read...it seriously depends on my mood.

I like niche aus, passion projects. Stories where you can just feel the author's love for the world they're inventing. But I tend to lean towards cannonverse. I like ghost stories, it's what drew me to this show in the first place. And I love exploring that concept. (Being forever gone, and always the same...it's just fascinating to me)

Platonic goodness is just WONDERFUL for this show. I will read anything with cuddles. I am touched starved and these kiddos are too, and I will cry about them puppy piling every damn day. Plus there's just some much POTENTIAL for future friendships! I love ones where Flynn and Carrie get to interact with the boys as well. And 90s content, from before and after the orpheum, just hits hard.

I really wasn't expecting to get invested in the couples on this show, but something about them is moving to me. So I do love to read about them. Watching two queer kids who lived during incredibly important areas of queer history find love together after death really hit hard for me, and there's just something so bittersweet about a girl and ghost deciding to love each other for the little time they're given.

I love family dynamics too. Anything with Ray and his seven disaster children, the band and Trevor.... I think Julie and Emily is one of my favorite dynamics to explore. A girl who lost her mother and a mother who lost her son, both grieving but with one able to speak to the dead...it's just very powerful to me.

(And of course, Luke and Emily, but I figured you already knew that)

Mostly...I like seeing the messy stuff. The unexpected consequences, the baggage. I want to see the messy emotions, the grief and anger, the jealously, the disorientation. I look for those glass shards, that might be too sharp to ever be addressed on the show. Not even the big, monumental plot lines just... the harder pieces of life, the little moments that don't fit neatly into a nine episode arc.

I just want to see them live you know? Love, laughter and loss all mixed together.

(One of my all time favorite tropes is "found family gets broken apart by trauma, only to find each other again and come back stronger than ever." I feel like this explains a lot of my taste in fiction)

Thank you for the writing advice. Your words were very motivating. I am trying to begin! I got up the nerve to start working on a little piece. Who knows if it will go anywhere. But it's been nice, to finally put some words on the page.

The POTC au is so freaking good man. The character dynamics are just on FIRE. Everything is broken and messy and the relationships genuinely tug at my heartstrings. It's such a fascinating story. Highly recommend, even with the cliff hangers.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET PAWPRINTER? Man oh man I love all her work. The wheelies art and steals universe is freaking amazing, not an avacado had me in tears (of laughter, till things got surprisingly sad). And All that Remains...slow burn Willex perfection. Jedi Alex and Pilot Willie have my HEART.

I don't think I've read firefall and weneedglitter (or if I have, I'm just not connecting the names to their pieces. I don't always remember author names. it's a problem). I will go look for them though! Cannot wait!

For more recs, I recently binge read We Found Wonderland. I was not mentally prepared for the sheer amount of feelings that gave me. Highly recommend, if you ever want an emotional rollercoaster with an incredibly satisfying end.

Going on to more serious subjects...I'm sorry your family doesn't see your grief for what it is: honest. Better to feel everything quietly, than make it an easily understadnable performance. Fake grief is so easy to spot.

I think of that scene from "Forever," when Buffy breaks down and tells Dawn that she has to keep busy, because if she stops, it means Joyce is really gone. There's a lot of truth there.

On a tangent here but.. there was a very long period in my life when I was told the ways I expressed my emotions were "incorrect". And I found that sometimes, no matter how you show your emotions, you'll always be criticized. Numbness can be called disinterest, but sobbing can be called attention-seeking too. Too big, too small: that jury was impossible to please This may not apply in your situation but...it's okay to feel however you can. It's the only think you can do, really.

As I've said before, Grief is such an odd trickster.

Don't you ever get tired of missing people... This past year, I've been so weary of grief. Sometimes it can be so sharp, but it's that dull ache. That ball and chain, no longer cutting through your skin, but rubbing it raw, weighing you down.

And people don't like to talk about that part, because it's long and tiresome, but oh, is it there. I find it hard to talk about my grief, because sometimes there's just so much of it. I could drown in it, and that fear keeps me from looking to close. To incorrectly quote Jane Austin: "If I missed you a little less, I might be able to talk about it more."

(Sometimes it's faceable. But sometimes you just can't bear it. And that's okay.)

But what you wrote in that eulogy...the love is there. It's in every word you write. I cried reading that section. I feel honored once again to see some of your jagged pieces. You're sharing your heart, and there's just so much love.

In the wise words of an author I know, "Love is like the snow Reggie. It never goes away."

And don't worry, I'm always with you.

Sending Love,

-LydiaStan7845 (aka Vampire Anon)

So...that Reggie and Nicky prompt

my god

my GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I think it's safe to say congrats, you've officially destroyed me! I was not prepared for that at ALL. I should know better by now I guess.

I can't get over that even though they all take place in very different universe, all your stories just feel so connected! The way this talked about those headphones, which you mentioned in the first chapter of Kill Your Heroes...it's just so cool. All the characterization and backstory is just so well thought out, and it genuinely blows my mind.

I didn't think I could love Nicky Peters more. I was wrong. The way you write about him...even though you never go into exactly what happened to him after Reggie's death, you can just feel how much it's shapped him as a person. And the trauma around his father, and how he fears becoming like that, was just so beautifully written. He's just so lovable and flawed and trying so damn hard and you made my heart ache for him. Again.

You always take these genuinely crazy situations and...you just make them feel so real. I love you explore the strains such a revelation would put on Nicky's own life, it just makes everything so compellingly messy. It seriously feel like I was watching a real-life account of a family trying to deal with such a massive complication.

That porch scene had me in tears both times I read it. Reggie's just always a big brother, even though Nicky is more than twice his age now. My heart was shattered, and then you slowly mended it, piece by piece. And for absolutely no reason at all, you wouldn't happen to have a reference for the porch, would you?

Just wow. Hope you're doing well. Sending love and applause

-Vampire Anon

i’m not even gonna reply, but i want these documented... on my blog... for posterity.  ( for any curious onlookers, i’m dating this anon now!! )

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

Yet another forgotten Lisa Snart Appreciation Week episode exploring if Barry and Lisa had a rapport. 

Lisa looked around the room. It's high ceilings sparkled with hanging lights made of thousands of diamonds, it floors gleamed with freshly waxed marble tiles, golden plaques on the wall thanking it's donators.

She wondered if she would visit this place every day if she were rich.

Probably not, the people here were beyond snobby and whined about how the caviar was grilled not slightly roasted. Maybe she would visit occasionally just for the novelty and the fact that she was rich enough to get into a country club legally.

Unlike now, she was under the name of Mrs. Smith-the most generic name ever- waiting for her husband, Mr. Smith aka the Flash.

Cisco had asked for her help with a mission of some sort against a Man in an Iron Mask. She had no idea who the hell he was and why he chose such a weird costume choice and why she should care, but he begged and then offered to turn the other way the next time the Rogues were on a stealing spree. Lenny would be furious about her helping them, but he would totally thank her for the pass on stealing sprees.

Plus how could she refused the opportunity to see who the Flash really was!

She stroke her blond wig, self-consciously and checked her compact mirror to make sure it was straight. You never knew when disguises started to go wonky in the middle of the plan.

A thin, Caucasian man with brown hair and sweet eyes approached the table, and looked for his place card. She recognized him as Cisco's friend that he always hanged out with at the bar and at the Lab. Barry something.

He was the Flash?

But but he was so, so not muscley or intimidating and he was a scientist. Well that explained how he was always able to understand everything Cisco and that doctor girl was saying.

"Hello sweetie, I think your place card is here next to me, your darling wife." Lisa purred, and waved the card with her fingers.

Barry's face morphed into one of confusion, then realization dawned on him and he hissed.

"What are you doing here, Snart?"

"Calm down Speedy. Cisco asked me to do this. Guess your uptight doctor wouldn't pretty enough to convince people she was rich. Can't blame you."

"Caitlin is very pretty and only couldn't do it because we need her at the base to set up the cameras. More importantly, why did Cisco asked you of all people?" Barry shook his head worriedly, "I swear I'm going to kill him if this fails." "What?" Lisa pouted, but with a sincerely offended tone "I'm an expert at these kind of things, you should be thankful I'm helping you."

"Hardly." Barry muttered, but he sighed and went to business mode.

"Here's the exact plan. You are only going to act like my wife and not make a big scene, while I look for the Iron Mask. Got it. Nothing else."

Lisa rolled her eyes. The Flash was almost as bad her brother. She wasn't going to ruin the mission. She meant what she said about being good at these kinds of cons. And she hated the fact that he thought just because she was who she was that she would be incapable of pulling off this kind of mission.

They sat next to each other, glancing around the room in silence when a elderly waiter approached them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith, in behalf of Central City's Wildhills Country Club I would like to congratulate you on your 10th year anniversary."

"Uh why I'm yeah thanks." Barry stammered.

"Yes thank you so much!" Lisa swooped in, clutching Barry's arm lovingly, "Barrykins and I are super happy we made it this far. Right sweetie-pie" Lisa grinned, devilishly at him as he looked at her in surprise

"Yes, snoopi-poo and I can't imagine our lives without each other." Barry chimed in, squeezing her tightly as she cringed at the name.

"When I hear her snore at night, it's the most musical sound in the world. It's like an orchestra" Barry he continued with an overly-perky voice.

"And when honey buns buns trips over the rug and breaks our Ming vase, I can't believe I married such a cute klutz" Lisa countered an even happier voice, then turned his face to nuzzle noses.

The waiter gave them a strange look, before saying "Good, good tell me when you've placed your order" and walked off. "Snoopi-poo!" Lisa cried, punching his shoulder.

"You started it! Barrykins really?" Barry snorted.  "We've been "married" for 10 years I was trying to make it convincing.” Lisa protested. 

They settled back to easy silence and ordered their food. Barry looking around the room, discreetly as Lisa eyed the jewelry on the patrons. The ruby necklace would look great with her pink peasant blouse that she got. Maybe if she could just accidentally trip her way.... Wait what was she thinking? This place is full of rich guys!

She could just flirt and adultery her way into getting a nice ring or two.

"Everybody! Everybody!" A man dressed in a tux, whom Lisa assumed was the manager, stood up clinking his glass.

"Since it's almost Valentine's Day I would like to call up some of our favorite couples to talk about their marriage. Mr and Mrs. Loomis, our golden couple reaching their 62 anniversary."

Lisa ignored the couples getting up to talk and she could Barry was getting increasingly bored and fidgety.

She looked around, she doubted that the man they were chasing would come with his Iron Mask on so what the hell was he looking around. The room was only filled with elderly WASPS, she swore they were the only couple under 60 there.

She leaned over to him, and whispered "I think we should check in the back rooms like storage. That's always wear Lenny, Mick and I go when we tried to infiltrate these kinds of things. No one notices extra stuff in storage." "That could work,” Barry mumbled.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" The manager boomed "Come in up here!" Lisa and Barry looked at each other in panic. 

“Maybe it's another Smith couple. It's such a common name." Lisa gave a dry laugh.  But the whole room was staring at them. Of course. They shuffled slowly to the center of the room and plastered fake grins.

“What can I say about our marriage" Barry stalled "What can I say? Um it's been a struggle....uh yeah. But we always pull through." Lisa groaned under her breath, this was bad.

"What he means is that.." Lisa added, searching for something to say about love.

"We, we are always there for each other. When you're scared, you run, when you can't run you crawl. When you can't crawl, you find someone to carry you. That's my husband. If had I dare to choose, I'd choose him over all the men over all the planets the night sky could show me."

The crowd clapped, and Barry stared at her in shock.

"Thank you" he called too loudly into the microphone. She brushed past the manager and they ran offstage.

"Here you go" she handed him a set of keys she swiped from the manager. Lenny had taught her a long time ago how to pick pocket by just brushing past someone. Less conspicuous.

"Wow, that was fast" Barry said, looking over the keys as they existed the room. "Wait up" A voice called out, running behind them.

"Barry why are you pretending to be Mr. Smith," A Hispanic man asked, and she recognized him. Cisco's piano brother. Wait Cisco's brother!

He seemed to recognize her too "Why are you with Captain Cold's sister! Do you know she's Captain Cold's sister? I'm liable to call the police on you" He threatened.  

She placed a hand over his mouth "If you call the police, I might have to touch you on your special part" She whispered.  "What kind of threat is that?" Piano brother hissed, when she took off her hand. “Barry hand me your phone, no actually just dial 911 you have no idea what weapons she could be.." Lisa kneed him in the crotch.

He collapsed to the ground, she grabbed Barry's arm and ran out, after she stopped to get her coat and hobo bag that concealed her gun and he quickly changed to his costume.

"You didn't have to kneed him there" Barry walked quickly as they tried to look for the back entrance that might lead to the storage room.

"Collateral damage besides Cisco told me about him. He sounds like an asshole" She muttered. 

"He may exhibit some asshole-like qualities but you just don't tell a guy you're going to touch his special place and then hit it." Barry protested.  "Maybe you don't.” Lisa grinned as Barry opened a door hidden behind a bunch of well-coiffed shrubs.

"And you watch Firefly?" Barry asked excitedly. Lisa froze. She chose those quotes for her impromptu anniversary speech because she didn't think anyone watched that show.

"Maybe?" Lisa stammered.  "I love that show! I can kill you.."

"With my mind." Lisa finished, and scowled at his enthusiastic, mocking grin. She couldn't believe she shared the same guilty pleasure as the Flash.

"I just enjoy it from time to time" Lisa defended herself "It's not like I dress up for Halloween or anything" She smirked at the sheepish look that crawled onto his face. "Oh Speedster," Lisa shook her head. 

Barry sparked back to life though, and started asking questions "What did you think of Walsh's death in the movie?"

"I don't consider the movie canon." Lisa replied.  "Yeah, I mean it was totally unnecessary. Oh and what is with River not wearing shoes?"

Lisa glared at him. 

"We're getting friendly, this is weird." Barry said "We should stop." Lisa muttered "Right now. Let's stop right now."

They scoured the back rooms of the country club and unlike the inside of the spacious place, it was dank and dark and musty as a cave. "Why would the Iron Mask be here anyway?" Lisa asked.  "Don't know his plan exactly, but Cisco heard from Dante that some guy found an Iron Mask under the piano one night here at the club so we figured we'd check out if he or anyone associated with him is hiding here.... You should probably go now."

Lisa sneered at him, and grabbed him by the collar. "Bar- Flashykins,” she growled between clenched teeth "I can help you so would you be a sweetheart and not act like a sexist version of Lenny. Cuz honey I am useful in this kind of thing" She shoved him forward and the two continued on marching.

Suddenly a man jumped in front of them.

"Halt!" he said, brandishing a boa staff.

The Flash sprang into action, speeding around him and throwing punches. Lisa wanted to help but with Barry moving around, she might shoot him instead. But Iron Mask had a trick up his sleeve. He produced a set of handcuffs and cuffed Barry to a near he pillar.

Leaving it between her and him. She didn't like the odds. Though she had fought quite a few big men, she always knew what to expect of those types with the added help of her brother and Mick. But this one she had no idea, and didn't know what other weapons he hid.

She the best trick she had always done, she fake-fainted.

Flash looked in absolute shock, "Lisa" he yelled.

The Iron Mask hardly seemed to notice but ran past her to the door. She turned around, aimed her gun and plastered his feet to the floor with the gold liquid

The with an easy swing she punched him to the ground.

She swung her hips lazily as she helped him get rid of the cuffs using her gun once more, and cracking the gold and cuff off of him.  Flash once more gaped at him. Yeah, she could get use to this face. "That was great!"

"And you thought you could do this without me" Lisa smiled herself at Scarlet's enthusiasm.

"Fine, I was wrong Snart. It takes more than one to deal with villains. There's no I in team." Barry grinned broadly at the cliche. 

"There maybe no I in Team but there's one in my name and that's the rule I go by" Lisa reminded him sensing the friendliness. "Speaking of I's. Here's a plan. You shove this guy into the car. I pick up Mr and Mrs. Smith's dinner, their complimentary coupons to the spa which are so going to be mine and that jewelry case that I saw being auctioned by the front desk"

"You do know there's no jewelry inside the jewelry case right?" "I know that" She snapped.  "Wait, as a "married" couple we should compromise about this" Barry smirked as he lifted Iron Mask into the trunk of the car.

Lisa stared at him, warily.

"I'm dropping you off and we are going to be comparing Firefly notes on the way there.”  Lisa smirked back, "Sure thing Barrykins"

S08E01

Ok so here's where D&D suck. They try to create an "open to interpretation" kind of scenario with most female characters, arya is definitely there but nobody is given a hard time over it more than Daenerys. They never explain or make her explain the why's & how's, because they want daenerys to be the "bad ass dragon queen whose impulse has given the show it's many epic cinematic moments"

GRRM does something quite similar too. He writes characters as faulted as human beings are supposed to be, he likes to conflict a reader's mind in the most tiring way possible. He said afterall he believes Faulkner's words "The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself".

He makes his character do an action/say some words that more or likely they HAD to. But then he introduces the consequences of the said action/words while at the same time he gives a reason & understanding of why such a hard decision was made/tough words were used. GRRM creates conflict in such a way that it is upto YOU. The Reader, to decide for themselves what they make of the situation. Which ultimately means it's only one's assumption to choose to believe the character was wrong because you choose to ignore the reason behind their action/words. While the one's who support the character chooses to accept the character not only with the reason behind the action/words but also with the consequences of it.

Your "hate" towards daenerys is just YOUR assumption, your villainization of daenerys is just YOUR assumption, your degradation of daenerys's efforts & experiences is just YOUR assumption. Not the actual story definitely not the author's intent.

The scene where daenerys takes the unsullied is the most bad-ass, jaw dropping & inspiring scene centered on a female character ever. When it dropped I remember GA being taken by how "bad-ass" she is. But now I see haters using Astaphor as a "brutality" condoned by daenerys. All because the show never cared to reflect upon a deeper more sympathetic thought process behind doing what she did. While tge book reading haters like I said above choose to ignore her reason & only care about the consequences.

Tv Show: "we never really get this sense .. of her capacity for cruelty. They are surrounded by people who are terrible people but haven't done anything to her personally. It's interesting to me how the sphere of her empathy widens the sphere of her cruelty widens as well."

-Dan Weiss ( X )

Books:

"I was alone for a long time, Jorah. All alone but for my brother. I was such a small scared thing. Viserys should have protected me, but instead he hurt me and scared me worse. He shouldn't have done that. He wasn't just my brother, he was my king. Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can't protect themselves?"

"Some kings make themselves. Robert did."

"He was no true king," Dany said scornfully. "He did no justice. Justice . . . that's what kings are for."

– Daenerys III ASOS

The show never showed this side of daenerys's story GRRM is literally giving a reason behind what she is doing at Astaphor while in the future books you get the consequences of those actions, THAT'S HOW YOU CREATE AN INTERNAL CONFLICT IN A READER (&/or) VIEWER.

What D&D do with dany all the time is leave her reasons behind & only show her actions & the consequences. Which over time lead everyone to believe she is descending into some form of madness, that she is an entitled power hungry monarch & that she is actually being a villain! Ignoring the fact that D&D draw inspiration for the show from a book series whose author treats all of his characters in a conflicting manner. 

Something like that happened in s08e01. Am not talking about the s@nsa vs daenerys situation. I think it's a call back to Alaric Stark & Queen Alysanne Targaryen's relations. Alaric Stark was known to be cold & hard towards Queen Alysanne at first but eventually softened towards her in time being as he got to know her more. S@nsa stans don't need a reason to hate on daenerys so this storyline was like a gift to them to continue that petty hate.

No matter what their relationship prospers into I have to say s@nsa was being unnecessarily rude towards daenerys. Alaric Stark actually had a reason to be cold towards the Targaryens, his brother died defending the wall against a mutiny caused by some prisoners King Jaehaerys had sent to the wall. But there is nothing that daenerys did to harm the Starks?! S@nsa herself has no reason to hold a grudge towards daenerys or the Targaryens. The northern lords are being a bunch of ignorant fucks still dwelling on the politics of the past that which a "smart" person would overlook given the state of emergency they are in. Instead s@nsa is using that ignorance to incite more segregation in Winterfell. Knowing well that the wall was breached she is treating the dragons as a burden when girl! they are your best defence against the undead one that Night King controls. S@nsa might be smart but right now she is not acting smart!

Regarding the matter of food, I don't think s@nsa understands the level of danger that the oncoming army of the dead possesses against the living. Alaric Stark was judgemental of Queen Alysanne & the party that travelled with her because she wasn't necessarily there to defend Winterfell against anything, she was there on one of the many royal progression's that the king & queen did all over the kingdoms. But daenerys isn't here on some progress she is here to stand her armies beside the North men & Knights of the Vale in the fight. It is S@nsa's duty as the Lady of Winterfell to arrange for the food & other commodities for perhaps the greatest alliance northerners have.

I don't much tread into the doylism aspect of things but the way s@nsa said that she didn't account for the dothraki & the unsullied did she mean she was expecting Jon to die in the south? Because there was only two ways Jon's southern trip would go he might return with allies hence more mouths to feed or he might die. That sure don't sound all that smart of a deduction though!

When daenerys said "whatever they want" she defended her children reminds me of how everyone used to tell the direwolves don't belong inside the castle walls but out in the wild but the stark kids defended them anyways. Daenerys did the same thing too she defended her magical wild beasts who, just like the direwolves are dangerous & different.

Daenerys expecting respect from sansa isn't entitlement, Jon is S@nsa's king & daenerys is Jon's Queen. By that it is a certain decency to give daenerys that respect. In inside the episode video David nutter & Sophie say that s@nsa wants daenerys to know that this is HER home??! I mean daenerys doesn't want her home she wants your respect, she has a home it's called Dragonstone!

“No man has ever died from bending his knee,” her father had once told her.

“He who kneels may rise again, blade in hand. He who will not kneel stays dead, stiff legs and all.”

-the Kings Prize ADWD

I just can't wait until s@nsa softens upto daenerys like Alaric did towards Alysanne. So people can actually focus on other more important things in the storyline.

Then about the reaction Sam had when he learnt about his father & brother's death.. THAT WAS ABSURD. He clearly wasn't that sad when he learned of randyll's death but his brother's death affected him most. Which reminds me of a quote..

He wondered whether Dickon would shed a tear for his brother who died in the snow, somewhere off beyond the edge of the world. Why should he? A coward’s not worth weeping over.

-Samwell I, ASOS.

Do it now. Stop crying and fight, you baby. Fight, craven. It was his father he heard, it was Alliser Thorne, it was his brother Dickon and the boy Rast.

Craven, craven, craven. He giggled hysterically, wondering if they would make a wight of him, a huge fat white wight always tripping over its own dead feet.

Do it, Sam. Was that Jon, now? Jon was dead. You can do it, you can, just do it.

-Samwell I, ASOS.

Sam remembers his brother in the books with the likes of Ser Alliser Thorne & Rast. It is understandable that his heart might be broken to listen of his brothers death but to do what he did especially to the last remaining family of his mentor, Maester Aemon  Who treated him 1000x times better than both his father & brother.. Maester Aemon felt so passionately about Daenerys & he only trusted that information to Sam.

"No one ever looked for a girl," he said. "It was a prince that was promised, not a princess. Rhaegar, I thought... What fools we were, who thought ourselves so wise! The error crept in from the translation. Dragons are neither male nor female, Barth saw the truth of that, but now one and now the other, as changeable as flame. The language misled us all for a thousand years. Daenerys is the one, born amidst salt and smoke. The dragons prove it." Just talking of her seemed to make him stronger. "I must go to her. I must."

-Maester Aemon, Samwell IV, AFFC.

Daenerys is our hope. Tell them that, at the citadel. Make them listen. They must send her a Maester. Daenerys must be counseled, taught, protected."

-Maester Aemon, Samwell IV, AFFC.

Alleras stepped up next to sam. "Aemon would've gone to her if he had the strength. He wanted us to send a Maester to her, to counsel her & protect her & fetch her safely home." "Did he?" Archmaester marwyn shrugged. "Perhaps it's good that he died before he got to oldtown. Elsewise the grey sheep might have had to kill him, and that would have made the poor old dears wring with wrinkled hands." "Kill him?" Sam said, shocked. "Why?" "If I tell you they may kill you too" marwyn smiled a ghastly smile the juice of the sourleaf running red between his teeth.

-Samwell V, AFFC.

It is so awful that Sam has infact put the last two family members of Maester Aemon's blood against each other. He is treating Daenerys the way he treated Alliser Thorne when Sam realised if Ser Alliser becomes the Lord Commander his life would be hell so he literally uses Jon & raises him to be a Lord Commander in the hind sight to protect himself. When Jon actually (in the books) decides to fight for Winterfell & take stannis's offer.

Instead, he blamed Jon Snow and wondered when Jon’s heart had turned to stone. Once he asked Maester Aemon that very question, when Gilly was down at the canal fetching water for them. “When you raised him up to be the lord commander,” the old man answered.

-Maester Aemon, Samwell III, AFFC

“Dragons,” Aemon whispered. “The grief and glory of my House, they were.”

- Maester Aemon, Samwell III, AFFC

Not only was Sam's reaction a little over the top but it was wrong how he channeled it upon Jon as well. He ruined the most important revelation of Jon's life because of, again, himself. Jon also didn't seem to care about the fact that daenerys is related to her (lmao) but was more taken aback by Sam suggesting him treason against daenerys.

I do not want to play the oathbreaker, even for good reason.

- Jon VIII, ACOK.

Jon Snow flexed the fingers of his sword hand, remembering all he’d lost. Sam, you sweet fat fool, you played me a cruel jape when you made me lord commander. A lord commander has no friends.

-Jon X, ADWD.

"I had a frightening dream last night, m'lord," Dolorous Edd confessed. "You were my steward, fetching my food & cleaning up my leaving. I was Lord Commander, with never a moment's peace." Jon did not smile. "Your nightmare, my life."

-Jon VI, ADWD.

Daenerys: "We all enjoy what we're good at" Jon: "I don't!"

-GOT, s07e03.

Jon doesn't want to have power for the sake of power. Over & over again in the books & in the show he made it clear he did what he did to fight the Army of the Dead not for a crown.

Jon: "Do you think we can beat the Army of the Dead without her? I fought them sansa twice, you want to worry about who holds what title I am telling you it doesn't matter. Without her we don't stand a chance.. Do you have any Faith in me at all?

Sansa: you know I do.

Jon: she'll be a good queen, for all of us. She's not her father. 

Sansa: no, she's much prettier .... Did you bend the knee to save the North or because you love her?

-GOT s08e01

There are two reasons why anyone would bend the knee.

•Out of fear, fear of cruelty, collapse or death.

•Out of love & respect & trust.

Jon bent the knee to daenerys for the latter, that scene with sansa & Jon was cut off annoyingly leaving the argument hanging but there was more than just love, yes Love is there My god if this isn't what every jonerys stan had been screaming since s07 ended. But there was more than love, there was respect for letting him mine the dragonglass regardless of no existing alliance, there is also trust when daenerys actually not only let him go beyond the wall but also flew all the way there, solidifying the trust he placed in her to come to his aid without an alliance in place. 

Jon glanced over his shoulder. The shadow was there, just as she had said, etched in moonlight against the wall. A girl in grey on a dying horse, he thought. Coming here, to you. Arya. He turned back to the Red priestess. Jon could feel her warmth. She has power. The thought came unbidden, seizing him with iron teeth, but this was not a woman he cared to be indebted to, not even for his little sister.

-Jon IV, ADWD.

But instead he chose to be indebted to daenerys by asking for her help without giving her anything in return. Because he trusts her to be a good, reliable Queen & she won his trust.

Sam: "Don't you know?

Jon: know what?

Sam: Daenerys, she executed my father & brother. They were her prisoners.

Jon: ......

Sam: she didn't tell you

Jon: I'm so sorry. We need to end this war.

Sam: would you have done it?

Jon: I have executed men who disobeyed me.

Sam: you've also spared men thousands of Wildlings when they refused to kneel.

Jon: I wasn't a king.

Sam: but you were you've always been. Jon: I gave her my crown Sam. I've bent the knee am not King in the North anymore.

Sam: Am not talking about the king in the north am talking about the king of the bloody seven kingdoms.

.......

your mother was Lyanna Stark your father, your real father was Rhaegar Targaryen. You've never been a Bastard you are Aegon Targaryen true heir to the iron throne.

.............

You're the true king, Aegon Targaryen, sixth of his name, protector of the realm, all of it.

Jon: Daenerys is our Queen.

Sam: she shouldn't be.

Jon: it's treason.

Sam: it's the truth. You gave up your crown to save your people would she do the same?

She literally did the very thing in s07e06 when she left dragonstone with Drogon, Rhaegal & Viserion to rescue Jon.

Tyrion: "You cant win the throne if you're dead. You cant break the wheel if you're dead."

Daenerys: "So what would you have me do?"

Tyrion: Nothing. Sometimes nothing is the hardest thing to do. If you die we're all lost everyone, everything!"

Daenerys: "You told me to do nothing once before & i lostened to you ... am not doing nothing again."

There are moments in the story both in books & show where we do undeniably see daenerys put the people or her children ahead of her crown.

That morning she summoned her captains and commanders to the garden, rather than descending to the audience chamber. "Aegon the Conqueror brought fire and blood to Westeros, but afterward he gave them peace, prosperity, and justice. But all I have brought to Slaver's Bay is death and ruin. I have been more khal than queen, smashing and plundering, then moving on."

"You have brought freedom as well," Missandei pointed out.

"Freedom to starve?" asked Dany sharply. "Freedom to die? Am I a dragon, or a harpy?" Am I mad? Do I have the taint?

"A dragon," Ser Barristan said with certainty. "Meereen is not Westeros, Your Grace."

"But how can I rule seven kingdoms if I cannot rule a single city?" He had no answer to that. Dany turned away from them, to gaze out over the city once again. "My children need time to heal and learn. My dragons need time to grow and test their wings. And I need the same. I will not let this city go the way of Astapor. I will not let the harpy of Yunkai chain up those I've freed all over again." She turned back to look at their faces. "I will not march."

"What will you do then, Khaleesi?" asked Rakharo.

"Stay," she said. "Rule. And be a queen."

– Daenerys VI, ASOS.

Not that she must or she needs to give up her crown for Jon or anyone so Sam can be convinced with her being a good queen. Fuck that! Sam is being impulsive here (something that daenerys is blamed of, turns out everyone does it) she has on multiple occasions put her people first. Sam hopefully learns it in time because his knows I don't want him to be the A-hole he acted like..

If she had been some ordinary woman, she would gladly have spent her whole life touching Daario, tracing his scars and making him tell her how he’d come by every one. I would give up my crown if he asked it of me, Dany thought … but he had not asked it, and never would. Daario might whisper words of love when the two of them were as one, but she knew it was the dragon queen he loved. If I gave up my crown, he would not want me. Besides, kings who lost their crowns oft lost their heads as well, and she could see no reason why it would be any different for a queen.

-Daenerys VII, ADWD.

A queen belongs not to herself but to her people.

– Daenerys V, ADWD.

The red priests believed in two gods, she had heard, but two who were eternally at war. Dany liked that even less. She would not want to be eternally at war.

- Daenerys V, ASOS.

"We will have it all back someday, sweet sister," he would promise her. Sometimes his hands shook when he talked about it. "The jewels and the silks, Dragonstone and King's Landing, the Iron Throne and the Seven Kingdoms, all they have taken from us, we will have it back." Viserys lived for that day. All that Daenerys wanted back was the big house with the red door, the lemon tree outside her window, the childhood she had never known.

- Daenerys I, AGOT.

She did take a dozen flasks of scented oils, the perfumes of her childhood; she had only to close her eyes and sniff them and she could see the big house with the red door once more.

- Daenerys VI, AGOT.

"He died for me." Dany clutched her lion pelt to her chest. Underneath, a sheer white linen tunic covered her to midthigh. She had been dreaming of a house with a red door when Missandei woke her. There had been no time to dress.

- Daenerys I, ADWD.

"Is it Daario? What's happened?" In her dream they had been man and wife, simple folk who lived a simple life in a tall stone house with a red door. In her dream he had been kissing her all over—her mouth, her neck, her breasts.

-Daenerys II, ADWD.

Dany had never known a home. In Braavos, there had been a house with a red door, but that was all.

-Daenerys III, ADWD.

Soon Dany was as clean as she was ever going to be. She pushed herself to her feet, splashing softly. Water ran down her legs and beaded on her breasts. The sun was climbing up the sky, and her people would soon be gathering. She would rather have drifted in the fragrant pool all day, eating iced fruit off silver trays and dreaming of a house with a red door, but a queen belongs to her people, not to herself.

- Daenerys IX, ADWD.

Isn't it amazing how the very episode in which Sam raises the question "will she give up her crown?" is the very episode where daenerys said this 

She obviously didn't feel at home neither at Dragonstone nor at Winterfell. This romantic moment is the closest to a house with the red door this show has ever done.

Also notice how throughout the episode whenever Jon is speaking to others he refers to daenerys as Queen. But when he is alone with her by that waterfall he refers to her as "a southern girl". Jon loves the girl daenerys not "the floppy ears" of the dragon queen that she wears..

If she had been some ordinary woman, she would gladly have spent her whole life touching Daario, tracing his scars and making him tell her how he’d come by every one. I would give up my crown if he asked it of me, Dany thought … but he had not asked it, and never would. Daario might whisper words of love when the two of them were as one, but she knew it was the dragon queen he loved. If I gave up my crown, he would not want me. Besides, kings who lost their crowns oft lost their heads as well, and she could see no reason why it would be any different for a queen.

-Daenerys VII, ADWD.

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?

- Daenerys VII, ADWD.

So the point is neither does it make sense for Jon to turn against daenerys all of a sudden for something like a title that he himself just said doesn't matter to him. Given that the third episode is where the battle for dawn is supposed to take place. Iron throne is not on Jon's mind. Plus I don't think Daenerys will be anything but shocked, confused yet happy to find a family member, none other than the son of her elder brother whom she idolizes, she is in love with Jon as he is with her!

A crown should not sit easy on the head. One of her royal forebears had said that, once. Some Aegon, but which one? Five Aegons had ruled the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. There would have been a sixth, but the Usurper’s dogs had murdered her brother’s son when he was still a babe at the breast. If he had lived, I might have married him.

-Daenerys I, ADWD.

Ser Davos is already planning a better solution to all this. A just woman & an honorable man to probably get married!

Now I need Sam to somehow learn more & more about who daenerys actually is.

Bungou Stray Dogs Questionnaire

Rules: Complete all the questions you want, expand and explain your answers as much as you want, and have fun!

If you can, tag some people you want to join in on the fun!

So I tag anyone that sees this and wants to do it to have fun! Everyone is welcomed!

Thank youuuu @usagiomega

What ability would you have in the BSD universe?

(That one's hard~!)

Melodic Speed: The more I listen to music the faster and agile I get. Pretty simple, I like simple. It could get to the point that others are unable to see me because I'm that fast. (I combined two things I do most often, listening to music and being slow. Totally not inspired by Hamatora.)

If you could claim someone's ability in BSD, whose ability would you want?

(Don't say Chuuya's, don't say Chuuya's)

I'm really tempted by Edgar's ability. To trap people in books until they solve the mystery inside? I'd say dope! That would also make me write more as I have a few people I'd like to trap, just for fun~

What group/organization would you join?

Port Mafia for sure as I'm a villain at heart but still want to have a reliable and strong family around me. Also because I can wear a lot of black. But Mori can stay locked in his room.

Which BSD character do you identify with the most?

Honestly Ranpo. I do the exact same things that he does, laze around and eat baked goods. But that's only on the outside.

On the inside I identify with Chuuya a lot. Him hating betrayals is something that hits too close to home. Him wanting to protect Port Mafia that took him in after his previous group pushed him away. Him being loyal as heck not even knowing if he'll be able to stay forever or not. Like I said, hits too close to home.

Who are your top five favourite BSD characters?

(Surprise surprise)

Dazai: The very first time he appeared I took him for an asshole, which he kinda is. But then I quickly grew to like him as I was getting interested in his character on a deeper level. I like his two faced personality, he acts derpy and cute only to turn into a mischievous sadist that he truly is. The Dark Era also made me gain respect and much more love for him.

Chuuya: He introduced me to BSD when I first saw him in this MEP (bless and R.I.P MDS). So in 2016! I even remember watching BSD during Christmas Eve dinner under the table! Not gonna lie, his looks hooked me in. When I finally got him after so many episodes I was interested even more. He has some history with my boy Dazai? Show me, tell me! Until recently I've been thirsty for some more Chuuya and got it in the new season, I'm still gonna read the actual light novel though. But nonetheless, I'm satisfied. I actually hope BONES doesn't make him an another main character because I like him as he is. I like redhead hotheads like Chuuya or Taiga Kagami. Also, I was already a huge fan of GRANRODEO in 2016 so hearing Kishow was a blessing. All thanks to Kuroko no Basket. ♡

Oda: His precious heart made me love him! He just wanted to write, to take care of the kids. Each time I remember my heart cries a river. And each time something new comes to the BSD universe with him in it I love it but also can't take it.

MANGA SPOILERS

Tecchou: First of all, I really like the concept of Hunting Dogs. Second of all, this boy is precious. Justice fighter who respects people that want to protect others. The whole scene with the cafe owner moved my freaking heart, I kid you not. Unlike other members of the Hunting Dogs he doesn't want to bring down ADA just because they're supposed criminals but because it's his job to keep the country and it's people safe. And so he's doing it, no matter what he must do. I'm pretty sure that if he would find out the truth he'll try to stop his teammates and explain who's the real villain here. I hope it happens! His habits are also hilarious.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Michizou: I don't know if I can count him as a "favorite" yet but I really liked what Asagiri-sensei and Harukawa-sensei did with him. The reveal is one of my favorite manga scenes ever! I'm looking forward to seeing more of him as I was dying to since I started watching BSD. I won't forgive him for hurting Gin though, that's one huge minus.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Are there any authors that you'd want to bring into the BSD universe that hasn't arrived yet? Or do you have OCs?

Oh boy, here we go!

I do have one author that I think would fit very well. He's a polish poet from a romanticism era (my fave) that wrote poems, epics, ballads. His name is Adam Mickiewicz ladies and gents. Why do I think he would fit? Well, he was born in Poland that didn't actually exist and people were fighting for its freedom. So fight was already in his blood which he later on proved by becoming a commander in a battle. He was in a lot of conspiracy groups. And because of that I feel like fitting in BSD is just a matter of what kind of organization is he going to be in. He even had contact and made friends with Russian Decemberists, made enemies with Pushkin (who already is in BSD). If Adam would be in BSD I believe he'd have contact with the Rats before they fled to Japan. And because of his conspiracy origins I say he spied on the Rats from within. As for his ability I believe it would be some fighting type one as real life Adam took part in battles. I wanted to give him an ability that has something to do with his play "Dziady" but I haven't really decided yet.

Favourite Scene(s)?

Anime

Dazai floating in river; Dazai nullifying Atsushi's ability; Chuuya's reveal; Atsushi and Akutagawa fighting Fitzgerald; Atsushi hugging Kyouka; Any scene with Oda; Any scene with 15 year old Chuuya and Osamu except for the hand holding one; Fyodor killing Karma, (I'm so sorry)

Manga

Chuuya shooting bullets using gravity; Tachihara's reveal; Yosano's backstory; Mori and Fukuzawa's fight; Fukuzawa and Fukuchi scene; Any Tecchou scene; Hunting Dogs being chaotic; Chuuya getting tired and punching everyone; Dazai getting shot; Edgar getting scared by his ringtone; Dazai and Fyodor in a chess duel; Any Sigma scene.

(Translation by Dazaiscans of course.)

Favourite Quotes from the Authors/Characters?

(Thank Gods there's bsd-bibliophile~ Great help!)

Mine has been a life of much shame.

- Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human

To love someone is to put your life on the line. I don't take it lightly.

- Dazai Osamu, "Female" from Self Portraits

Bad people are to be found everywhere, but even among the worst there may be something good.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The House of the Dead

It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

A fool with a heart and no sense is just as unhappy as a fool with sense and no heart.

- Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Фёдор Достоевский), The Idiot

(I'm currently reading Dostoyevsky in my literature class sooo)

Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worth while.

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

People laugh at me because I use big words. But if you have big ideas, you have to use big words to express them, haven't you?

- L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

(One of my favorite books ever)

That threw me for a loop...is that my ringtone?

- Edgar Allan Poe getting scared by his ringtone, Chapter 55

(I had to)

Certainly, people are sinfully stupid. But what's so wrong about that?

- Dazai Osamu, Chapter 46

(Can I wait till Friday for that? I'll try)

Who would you want to bring to life to be your best friend? Waifu/Husbando?

There are a lot but I'm gonna go classic and say Chuuya. I'd love to make fun of him for being shorter than me and watch him go berserk. Like I said, I'm a villain at heart. I love him tons though! Dazai is also a pick as he's already very similar to my best friend. I have weird friends.

How has Bungou Stray Dogs changed you as a person? Did you learn anything from it?

I learned that I strive to write as good as Asagiri-sensei because his writing is amazing in my opinion. BSD also introduced me to a ton of Japanese authors as it's the case with most of its watchers. And even though I don't have a lot of time to read their books now (school and grade chasing as I only have 3 weeks to improve them), I'm going to read EVERYTHING I CAN during summer vacations. Good luck to me~

While I love Grant Gustin to pieces, I'm not looking forward to watching an hour long comic con involving him and Kevin praising WestAllen. Though I can't help but be curious about his forced answered and body language. If it's not too much trouble, could you pinpoint some of those moments in the video? I know it's on YouTube so I'd have no problem finding it. I'd just rather not watch the whole thing. Thank you in advance!

Here’s what I can sum up from the video.

VIP is $311. x Grant looks and acts tired from shooting Season 4 overall. David Rappaport knew him from 90210 and casthim in the role. David is also responsible for casting Candice too.Andrea was there. Right behind him at his signing booth.

Kevin moderated the interview, he compares Grant’s work ethic to Matt Damon’s. Grantkeeps smiling and waving at his fans, he’s genuine even though he looks tired.Fame and wealth make Grant nervous, that’s why he doesn’t do many cons.Kevin keeps praising Season 4 over and over but he doesn’t mean it in histone. Grant is just nodding along. Praising the show along with him. Especially because they know what it’s leading up to. These questions are pre-screened, nothing is said on the air that Grant is not prepared to answer.On how he was cast: he tested the same time as Carlos. He claims theonly person he did a chemistry read was with Candice. I notice how he spokethere, he was lying because we would have seen it by now in some way, leaked or on a DVD. He neglected to bring up his screen test with EBR,which was on Season 1 DVD, his “chemistry test” with Candice was not, “so much chemistry.” Why can’t we see it then?12:46 is where the WA talk begins. The “drama for the sake of drama comment.” Even with the small cheering Grant’s face saysit all…his body scrunches up, his shoulders are held back and tight,his face is holding something that looks like a forced smile but he isn’t smiling,he’s acting, trying to sell WA. Kevin in spite of having the question already memorized looks down.

Kevin ignores the that fact of WA are step-siblings and insteadcalls them “childhood besties” no mention of incest at all going right into “nowyou guys are married.” Grant during all of this was holding a fist and fidgeting a lot,why he is so uncomfortable? If he has chemistry with CP, why does he giveoff so much discomfort whenever WA is brought up? Grant also says “if we canstay on the air long enough” and “I hope everyone saw the finale” which indicates he isn’tconfident in the show anymore. He doesn’t know what will happen. He triesto sell us WA but he can’t help being honest in the same answer, he can’tlie but he can’t piss off his bosses. When Grant mentions “I guess we’llsee…a kid? In the future.” A small crowd cheers but when the camera pansto the crowd nobody is smiling. 

I’ve counted, maybe 4-5 WAs in a sea of 8,000, andeveryone is just as serious as Grant. These are not WA stans, they are superGG fans. Nobody cares about WA.

14:16 is where it ends. Grant is relievedthe discussion is over. His curt laugh at the end points that out.6-23 was the date of the panel, Grant hasn’t gotten the script yet, but will receive it on that weekend. When this is posted Grant will have already gotten the script.On Monday the 25th was the meeting with HELLbing.Season 1 Grant was reading The New 52 to learn about BA and TF. Season 2he stopped doing that so he can focus more on the acting. He also said “as someone growingup with superheroes you don’t want to get sick of it.” Grant’s energy really picked up when Kevin started talking about the firstepisode he directed. You can tell Grant loves working with him. Kevin feelsthe same way. When they are just talking Flash, it looks natural, less forced,less promo salesman, it looks like two friends talking as opposed to Viris or WA awkwardness. 

22.56 is where Kevin brings up “in every episode there is always a WA peptalk scene” it seemed they just glazed over it and Grant just nods “yup” in a repeated manner agreeing that it’s monotonous to do. 

Grant praises Jesse L Martin, being a fan of his because he bonded with himfirst and he was in Rent. Tom Canavagh is brought up and Grant says he ishis favorite actor to work with. Grant talked about Tom and Grant, the moviewas based on their real on set unfunny gags, Tom wrote and directed the shortmovie. After wrapping up Season 3 Grant had plans to do a movie and Tom filmedthe short movie in 2 days. The movie Grant was supposed be a part of “fell through”it could be referring to a recast because he wasn’t available at the time.Grant says he likes Time Travel and fans will ask him questions but he alwayssays he is confused. If the writers knew what they were writing about, I’msure Grant would have a clearer answer for the fans. He clearly likes it whenBarry time travels but when it’s used the right way.He loves Captain Cold and Wentworth as a “frienemy.” Big cheers for thatone and pan to the crowd to see smiles. Weather Wizard was brought up ashis favorite rogue. Mark Hamill as The Trickster.Kevin said his favorite season is the first one and that his favorite episodewas 1x15 where Barry time travels for the first time, Danielle was mentioned. He quotes the show as “Dawson’s Creek with capes.” Greg Berlanti wasa head writer on Dawson’s Creek. 28:17 is where Grant demonstrates how he does “the run” on the show. They don’tshoot his legs in frame. At the beginning they did with a treadmill.Grant is aware of what people are saying about his physic, body frame andKevin states “you have a runner’s body.” Grant agrees, “I have more of a runner’sbody than any other type.” Grant’s favorite episode is the Season 1 finale. Grant is very proud of theepisode and Kevin agrees as he brings up his infamous crying video he postedon youtube that gave him the opportunity to direct the show.Fan Q&A was around 30min mark. First question was: What is going to happenwith Nora Allen? Grant’s response is “she’s trapped in our time. We’re probablygoing to see Barry help her get back to her time.” Second question was about Grant’s education. He never graduated from ElonUniversity but was made an Alumni. He left after hisSophomore year to go on the road for “West Side Story.” Grant didn’t believehe would end up on TV, he thought he would be on the Broadway stage.Third question was about how they shoot each episode. Grant says they prepfor a week prior with table reads of the script, then shoot an episode for8-9 days. The network and studio watch it and make notes and cuts, during that time the SFX are added in. Every time an episode is finished it is 2 months agoso the show has a lot of time to omit, re shoot, polish what they want interms of what will make the cut. I don’t believe at all the show runnersare avoiding the feedback. They could easily incorporate so many things for future episodes it’sthat they choose not to. Do not tell me this is hard for them to do. Thisis how TV is run, especially a show like this. Grant says his favorite crossovers to shoot was possibly the last one inEarth X, but it was the hardest one, the Supergirl crossover was highlightedbecause of the location in LA. Grant lives in Venice Beach, Ca. Brandon Routhis his favorite actor to work with aside from Melissa and Stephen.Grant says working with Tom is a blessing and a challenge. He lovesbeing directed by Tom almost as good as being directed by Kevin. Flash has made him want to be a director but he doesn’t see it happeningwith the show. He calls it “impossible” but he mentions being interested indirecting an episode for their last season if “they let him.” The amountof control these show runners have is disgusting. Grant is a decent person and the star.He shouldn’t feel apprehensive if he wanted to direct, it’d be an honor if he did.He understands the character better than anyone. Kevin snuck in “before itall ends, who knows it might go on forever” Grant responds with “notforever.” At 38:10 the question is: how many more seasons do you think the show isgoing to do? He said at least 3 more, that takes it up to Season 7 but he saysanything could happen. Kevin adds “it’s strong in the ratings forThe CW.” Meaning if it was on a real network, it would be already cancelled.2 million viewers is not high. Right now with the adjusted they are at 3.0,with a demo of .6 thanks to the horrible Season 4 disaster Viris WA obsession. Kevin also added which surprisedme “the show will go on as long as Grant wants it to go.” Grant said he knew Kevin was gonna say that. Kevin says back it could go on for 26 seasons. Grant says sarcastically “imagine that?” Grant’s favorite musical is “Singin in the Rain” which got him interested in performing. The best part of being Flash is they give him his own superhero suit. Hementions wanting an authentic version of Christopher Reeves Superman suit.He likes wearing Star Labs and CCPD sweatshirts. The guy who asked the questionstarted asking Kevin a question and Grant was all “wtf wasn’t this supposedto be about me”? Everyone in the crowd laughed.His most difficult scene to film which was also his favorite was the scenewith Barry and his mom at the end of Season 1. His other most difficultscene was in Tom Canvanagh’s directed episode 3x19 where EmoBarry was. Kevincalled Grant with the wig “My Chemical Barry.” Grant said it was hard to shootbecause of the two conflicting emotions of playing Present Barry and FutureBarry wearing “a stupid wig.” Kevin compared EmoBarry to a “Hot Topic Employee.”Grant’s favorite Season is the first one, mainly because of how well the finale was constructed “so perfectly.”46:18 is where the question about which he prefers: his fictional WArelationship or his real relationship with Andrea. His exact words are: “Ienjoy my real relationship much more. Nothing against Candice, love to d-greatly.Yeah, it’s obviously very different. One is scripted for me and fictional.One plays itself out and I love her very much in real life. So, I think thoseare probably the biggest differences.” He doesn’t know what to say, the questionitself was lame, obviously there are huge separations from fiction and fact something the delusional doesn’t comprehend.Grant feels uncomfortable answering but he was polite and humored the guywho was obviously a huge Gr*ndice and WA stan. One of the 5 stans in there.When Grant does cons he doesn’t know how much it means to people and he’sgrateful for everything the fans give. He loves what he does. Grant loved filming the musical episode. No WA mentions. Especially singing “Superfriend”because he got to tap dance again. The crowd wants him to sing the song andGrant says he won’t. He thinks the heroes in real life are the troops, his mom because she was a single mother and supported his dreams.A fan asked “will we get a Run Nora, Run from Barry?” Grant credits Tom formaking that line iconic. Kevin agrees. Kevin says he did versions of theline in “The Runaway Dinosaur” because he loved it so much. Kevin said it is the show’s version of “May the force be with you.” No mention of “we are the flash” I wonder why….Grant answered what he has learned being The Flash and Grant credits Season1 again. He learned a lot from Barry’s empathy, his humility. He is a betterman than Grant is. 

Grant got another fan request shout out but in the videohe said “Are we ready? You’re not here but 8,000 other people are.” Crowdwent nuts. The same fan asked him if he wanted to play a Marvel superhero,which would he play. He said Spider-Man. Grant comments on what it’s like to be the star of a TV show. Even thoughhe knows he is the star in truth, he is very humble in saying it’s an ensembleshow. No mentions of CP or IW or WA. Hear that stans who stalk this blog? Grant is too much of a gentlemen to bait you demons.Grant’s most embarrassing scene was when he slide across the floor in 4x02“Mixed Signals” paying homage to Risky Business. He says because he has “chickenlegs.” He also says in the finale when Wally comes back he dropped 6 champagne glasses in 2 takes. It’s included in the bloopers. He says if he goes to the Vancouver Con he will bringhis dogs. Grant says he watches when people on set run and walk and compare it to howhe does it unintentionally. He’s met people in life that want to race him.He feels like he is a fast runner in real life, but he admits out loud hedoesn’t like running. When they are using science jargon, Grant doesn’t know what they are talking about unless he googles it. Grant loves playing the villain more than the hero. Savitar was a lot of fun for him to play. It could be because he loved working with Danielle more closely but the show will not allow any Snowbarry mentions, he’s there to plug WA, it would destroy WA as a whole and he knows it.The last couple of minutes they were talking about Grant’s famous slide into scenes, he does it at the last minute of the interview. Do with the information as you will. Grant has highs and lows here. Whenthe lows are pretty low it’s jarring when they are high it’s obvious wherehis heart is. He is a good guy that doesn’t deserve the bad treatment he’sbeen getting. Whether it’s about his character, CP’s repeated abuse of him and body shamming. Grant is nothing but friendly and takes the punches with thepraise. I hope he does more cons in the future, maybe when he is more rested and less fatigued.

Lokiru Paul : Jason Sudeikis Is Having One Hell of a Year

Jason Sudeikis Is Having One Hell of a Year

He got famous playing a certain kind of funny guy on SNL, but when Jason Sudeikis invented Ted Lasso, the sensitive soccer coach with the earnest mustache, the actor found a different gear—and a surprise hit. Now, ahead of the show’s second season, Sudeikis discusses his wild ride of a year and how he’s learning to pay closer attention to what the universe is telling him.

BY ZACH BARON, GQ

PHOTOGRAPHY BY HILL & AUBREY

July 13, 2021

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On the day that he wrapped shooting on the second season of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis sat in his trailer in West London and drank a beer and exhaled a little, and then he went to the pitch they film on for the show—Nelson Road Stadium, the characters call it—for one last game of football with his cast and crew. There's this thing called the crossbar challenge, which figures briefly in a midseason Ted Lasso episode: You kick a ball and try to hit not the goal but the crossbar above the goal, which is only four or five inches from top to bottom. And so Sudeikis arrived and, because he can't help himself, started trying to hit the crossbar.



Jason Sudeikis covers the August 2021 issue of GQ. To get a copy, subscribe to GQ.

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Confidence is a funny thing. Sudeikis has been riffing on it, in one way or another, for his whole professional life—particularly the comedy of unearned confidence, which he is well suited, physically, to convey. Sudeikis is acutely aware of “the vessel that my soul is currently, you know, occupying”—six feet one, good hair, strong jaw. He's a former college point guard. On Saturday Night Live, where most of us saw him for the first time, he had a specialty in playing jocular blowhards and loud, self-impressed white men, a specialty he took to Hollywood, in films like Horrible Bosses and Sleeping With Other People. He became so adept at playing those types of characters, Sudeikis said, that at some point he realized he'd have to make an effort to do something different. “It's up to me to not just play an a-hole in every movie,” he said. In conversation he is digressive, occasionally melancholy, prone to long anecdotes and sometimes even actual parables—closer, in other words, to Ted Lasso, the gentle, philosophical football coach he co-created, than any of the preening jerks he used to be known for. But he can definitely kick a soccer ball pretty good.

So he's up there trying to hit the crossbar, and he's got a crowd of actors and crew members gathering around him now, betting on whether he can hit it. And he's getting the ball in the air, mostly, but not quite on the four-to-five-inch strip of metal he needs to hit, and the stakes are escalating (“I bet he can get it in three.” “I bet he can get it in five”), and after he misses the first five tries, Toheeb Jimoh, the actor who plays Sam Obisanya on the show, says, “I think he can get it in 10.” Then Sudeikis proceeds to miss the next four attempts. But, he told me later, “there was no part of me that was like, ‘I'm not gonna hit one of these. I'm not not gonna hit one of these.’ ”

Like I said, confidence is a funny thing. You have to somehow believe that the worst outcome simply won't happen. Sometimes you have to do that while knowing for a fact that the worst outcome is happening, all the time. “It's a very interesting space to live in, where you're living in the questions and the universe is slipping you answers,” Sudeikis said. “And are you—are any of us—open enough, able enough, curious enough to hear them when they arrive?” This sounds oblique, I guess, but I can attest, after spending some time talking to Sudeikis, that everything is a little oblique for him right now. He had the same pandemic year we all had, and in the middle of that, he had Ted Lasso turn into a massive, unexpected hit, and in the middle of that, his split from his partner and the mother of his two children, Olivia Wilde, became public in a way that from a great distance seemed not entirely dissimilar to something that happens to the character he plays on the show that everyone was suddenly watching. “Personal stuff, professional stuff, I mean, it's all…that Venn diagram for me is very”—here he held up two hands to form one circle—“you know?”

Shirt, $195, by Sid Mashburn. T-shirt, $195, by Ralph Lauren. Vintage pants from The Vintage Showroom. Belt, $2,500, by The Row. His own sneakers by Nike x Tom Sachs. Socks, $18 for three pairs, by Nike. Pendant necklaces, $2,100 (tag), and $3,000 (bar), by Tiffany & Co. Jacket (on bench), $498, by Todd Snyder.

Anyway, Sudeikis hit the crossbar on the 10th try. “It's a tremendous sound,” he said of that moment when the ball connects with the frame of the goal. He'd done what he knew he would do. Everyone on the pitch was cheering like they'd won something. It was, for lack of a better way of describing it, a very Ted Lasso moment—a small victory, a crooked poster in a locker room that says Believe. “There's a great Michael J. Fox quote,” Sudeikis told me later, trying to explain the particular brand of wary optimism that he carries around with him, and that he ended up making a show about: “ ‘Don't assume the worst thing's going to happen, because on the off chance it does, you'll have lived through it twice.’ So…why not do the inverse?”

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Ted Lasso. Man—what an unlikely story. The character was initially dreamed up to serve a very different purpose. Sudeikis first played him in 2013, in a promo for NBC, which had recently acquired the television rights to the Premier League and was trying to inspire American interest in English football. The promo was the length and shape of an SNL sketch and featured a straightforward conceit: A hayseed football (our football) coach is hired as the football (their football) coach of a beloved English club, to teach a game he neither knows nor understands in a place he neither knows nor understands. The joke was simple and boiled down to the central fact that Ted Lasso was an amiable buffoon in short shorts.

But Sudeikis tries to listen to the universe, even in unlikely circumstances, and for whatever reason the character stuck around in his head. So, in time, Sudeikis developed and pitched a series with the same setup—Ted, in England, far from his family, a stranger in a strange land learning a strange game—that Apple eventually bought. But when we next saw Ted Lasso, he had changed. He wasn't loud or obnoxious anymore; he was simply…human. He was a man in the midst of a divorce who missed his son in America. The new version of Ted Lasso was still funny, but now in an earned kind of way, where the jokes he told and the jokes made at his expense spoke to the quality of the man. He had become an encourager, someone who thrills to the talents and dreams of others. He was still ignorant at times, but now he was curious too.

In fact, this is close to something Ted says, by way of Walt Whitman, in one of the first season's most memorable episodes: Be curious, not judgmental. I will confess I get a little emotional every time I watch the scene in which he says this, which uses a game of darts in a pub as an excuse to both stage a philosophical discussion about how to treat other people and to re-create the climactic moment of every sports movie you've ever seen. It's a somewhat strange experience, being moved to tears by a guy with a bushy cartoon mustache and an arsenal of capital-J jokes (“You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet: I don't want to hear it”), talking about humanity and how we all might get better at it. But that's kind of what the experience of watching the show is. It's about something that almost nothing is about, which is: decency.

In the pilot episode, someone asks Ted if he believes in ghosts, and he says he does, “But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.” That folksy, relentless positivity defines the character and is perhaps one of the reasons Ted Lasso resonated with so many people over the past year. It was late summer, it was fall, it was in the teeth of widespread quarantine and stay-at-home orders. People were inside watching stuff. Here was a guy who confronted hardship, who suffered heartbreak, who couldn't go home. And who, somehow, found his way through all that. Someone not unlike Sudeikis himself.

“If you have the opportunity to hit a rock bottom, however you define that, you can become 412 bones or you can land like an Avenger. I personally have chosen to land like an Avenger.”

Sudeikis likes to say, in homage to his background in competitive sports, that there's no defense in the arts. “The only things you're competing against, I believe, are apathy, cynicism, and ego,” he said. This is a philosophy of Sudeikis's that predates Ted Lasso by many years, though you wouldn't necessarily have known it until recently. He grew up outside Kansas City, in Overland Park, Kansas, a “full jock with thespian tendencies,” as he once described himself. His uncle is George Wendt, who played Norm on Cheers. “He made finding a career in the arts, in acting or whatever, seem plausible,” Sudeikis said. But mostly he was drawn to the camaraderie of athletics. When Sudeikis first tried his hand at professional improv, in the mid-'90s, it was through something called ComedySportz, a national chain with a fake competition angle, teams in sports uniforms, and a referee. Brendan Hunt, who co-created and costars on Ted Lasso, initially met Sudeikis in Chicago, he told me. Sudeikis had traveled the eight hours up from Kansas City to do a show: “Suddenly there's a beat-up Volvo station wagon, like an '83, and this is '97, I think, and these two guys get out, all bleary-eyed, and wearily change into their baseball pants. And one of them was Jason.”

Sudeikis had gone to community college on a basketball scholarship but failed to keep up his grades, and he eventually left school to pursue comedy. For a while, he said, his sincere aspiration was to become a member of the Blue Man Group. He got close. “They flew me out to New York,” he said. “That was August of 2001, right before 9/11. And I got to see myself bald and blue.” (In the end, he wasn't a good enough drummer.) By that time, he was living in Las Vegas with his then partner, Kay Cannon, doing sketch comedy at the newly formed Second City chapter there. “Ego,” Sudeikis told me about this time, “that gets beaten out of you, doing eight shows a week.”

Eventually he was invited to audition for Saturday Night Live. “I didn't want to work on SNL,” Sudeikis said—he'd convinced himself that there were purer and less corporate paths to take. “At a certain point in your comedy journey, you have to look at it as like McDonald's,” he said. “You have to be like: ‘No. Never.’ ” Then he got the call. “It was like having a crush on the prettiest girl at school and being like, ‘She seems like a jerk.’ And it's like, ‘Oh, really? 'Cause she said she liked you.’ ‘She what?!’ ”

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Sudeikis auditioned, of course, and was hired, in 2003—but as a writer: “It was like winning a gold medal in the thing you've never even trained for. You just happen to be good at the triple jump, and you really love the long jump.” He wrote for a couple of seasons, but he was unhappy—Cannon was still in Las Vegas, and Sudeikis missed performing. Finally he went to Lorne Michaels, to ask for a job as a member of the cast. “He had the best line. I go, ‘I had to give up two things I love the most to take this writing job: performing and living with my wife.’ And on a dime, he just goes, ‘Well, if you had to choose one…’ ”

At Saturday Night Live, Sudeikis often channeled the same level of cheerful optimism and forthright morality that he'd later bring to Ted Lasso, but audiences didn't necessarily notice it at the time. One of Sudeikis's most famous and beloved early sketches on SNL as a performer is 2005's “Two A-holes Buying a Christmas Tree”—Kristen Wiig and Sudeikis, chewing gum, oblivious to their surroundings, terrorizing Jack Black at a Christmas tree stand. It's a joke about a very familiar form of contemporary rudeness; it's also a riff on a certain kind of man who speaks for the woman next to him, whether she wants him to or not. And people laughed and moved on to the next bit, but to this day Sudeikis can tell you about all the ideas that were running through his head when he created the sketch with Wiig. “That scene was all about my belief that we were losing touch with manners,” he told me. “And yet it's also about love, because he loves her, and that's why he interprets everything for her—she never talks directly to the person.” But, he said, sighing, “once you start explaining a joke or something like that, it ceases to be funny.”

Sudeikis brought this type of attention and care to the movies he began acting in too, like the workplace comedy Horrible Bosses, even if it was lost on most of those who watched them. “That movie, Horrible Bosses, is riddled with optimism,” he said. “The rhythms of that movie, of what Jason Bateman and Charlie Day and I are doing, are deeply rooted in Ted Lasso too. But people don't want those answers. They want to hear the three of us cut up and joke around.”

So that's what Sudeikis did. He got used to a certain gap between his intention and how it was understood. During his time at SNL, his marriage fell apart. “You're going through something emotionally and personally, or even professionally if that's affecting you personally, and then you're dressed up like George Bush and you're live on television for eight minutes. You feel like a crazy person. You feel absolutely crazy. You're looking at yourself in the mirror and you're just like, ‘Who am I? What is this? Holy hell.’ ”

For a time he became a tabloid fixture. He remembers “navigating my first sort of public relationship, with January Jones, which was like learning by fire. What is the term? Trial by fire.” In a 2010 GQ article, when confronted with a question about rumors that he was dating Jennifer Aniston, he sarcastically responded that she should be so lucky. “And obviously I'm fucking joking, you know?” Sudeikis said. But back then, he treated interviews like improv—Yes, and—and that could create misunderstandings. Asked once on a podcast about what people tended to get wrong about him, Sudeikis responded, “That I was in a fraternity—or maybe that I would be.”

To that point, Hunt told me, “He's much less the assumed fraternity guy than you'd think.” But Hunt said he also understood where the impression came from: “I don't know where he learned it necessarily, whether it was from his parents, or his basketball coaches, but he exudes an easygoing confidence. And it's easy to hang with a guy like that. But some people are also like, ‘Fuck that guy,’ intrinsically.”

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When he won the Golden Globe, Sudeikis gave a dazed speech while wearing a hoodie, sparking glee and speculation about his mental and physical states. “I was neither high nor heartbroken,” he said.

Shortly after Sudeikis and Wilde got together, near the end of his SNL run (he left the show in 2013), Wilde made a joke during a monologue that she read at a cabaret club about the two of them having sex “like Kenyan marathon runners,” and Sudeikis spent years answering questions about the joke. “The frustrating thing about that is that Olivia said that in a performance setting,” Sudeikis said. “It wasn't like she just was saying it glibly in an interview.” He described the experience of growing into celebrity, and confronting other people's misperceptions of him, as a disorienting one. “You're just being tossed into the situation and then trying to figure it out,” he said. The picture of him that was circulating wasn't exactly the one that he had of himself. But he didn't fight it, either. “You come to be thoughtful about it,” he said. “But also try to stay open to it. I don't ever want to be cynical.”

So he tried to stay open. But it wasn't until Ted Lasso that people really saw the side of him that comported with the way he saw himself. Last year, as it became clear that the show was a hit, he found himself answering, over and over, some version of the same question. The question would vary in its specifics, but the gist of it was always: How much do you and this character actually have in common? Sudeikis told me that over time, in response to people wondering about his exact relationship to Ted, he developed a few different evasive explanations. Ted, Sudeikis would say, was a little like Jason Sudeikis, but after two pints on an empty stomach. He was Sudeikis hanging on the side of a buddy's boat. He was Sudeikis, but on mushrooms. Sometimes, in more honest moments, he would say that Ted is the best version of himself. This, after all, is how art works: If it was just you, then it wouldn't really need to be art in the first place. And so Sudeikis learned to separate himself from Ted, to fudge the distance between art and artist.

Except, he said, after a while, every time he tried to wave off Ted, fellow castmates or old friends of his would correct him to say: “No.” They'd say: “No, that is you. That is you. That's not the best version of you.” It's not you on mushrooms, it's not you hanging off a boat, it's just…you. One of Sudeikis's friends, Marcus Mumford, who composed the music for the show, told me, “He is quite like Ted in lots of ways. He has a sort of burning optimism, but also a vulnerability, about him that I really admire.”

Hearing people say this, over and over again, Sudeikis said, “brought me to a very emotional space where, you know, a healthy dose of self-love was allowed to expand through my being and made me…” He trailed off for a moment. “When they're like, ‘No, that is you. That is you. That's not the best version of you.’ That's a very lovely thing to hear. I wish it on everybody who gets the opportunity to be or do anything in life and have someone have the chance to say, ‘Hey, that's you. That's you.’ ”

And if he's being honest, that's the way he feels about it too. “It's the closest thing I have to a tattoo,” Sudeikis said about Ted Lasso. “It's the most personal thing I've ever made.”

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On the first Saturday in June, Sudeikis flew with his children, Otis and Daisy, from London to New York, where he owns a house in Brooklyn. “Brooklyn is home,” he told me simply. While filming the first season of Ted Lasso, he'd had the house renovated—there was black mold to get rid of and other changes to make. “So Olivia and the kids had to rent a lovely apartment in Brooklyn Heights. But it's not home. It's someone else's home.” Saturday was the first time Sudeikis and his children had set foot in their own place in two years. “The kids darted in,” he said. “Last time Daisy was in that house, she slept in a crib. So now she has a new big bed. It was hilarious. I walked up there after like 15 minutes and both rooms were a mess.”

He and Wilde, he said, no longer share the house. They split up, according to Sudeikis, “in November 2020.” The end of their relationship was chronicled in a painful, public way in the tabloids after photos of Wilde holding hands with Harry Styles surfaced in January, setting off a flurry of conflicting timelines and explanations. Sudeikis said that even he didn't have total clarity about the end of the relationship just yet. “I'll have a better understanding of why in a year,” he said, “and an even better one in two, and an even greater one in five, and it'll go from being, you know, a book of my life to becoming a chapter to a paragraph to a line to a word to a doodle.” Right now he was just trying to figure out what he was supposed to take away, about himself, from what had happened. “That's an experience that you either learn from or make excuses about,” he said. “You take some responsibility for it, hold yourself accountable for what you do, but then also endeavor to learn something beyond the obvious from it.”

In the first season of Ted Lasso, the comic premise of the show is revealed to be a tragic one: Ted is in England, far from home, doing something he doesn't know how to do and probably shouldn't be doing at all, in order to give his failing marriage space to survive. When the character's wife and son visit, in the show's fifth episode, his wife tells him, “Every day I wake up hoping that I'll feel the way I felt in the beginning. But maybe that's just what marriage is, right?” It's a wrenching moment that also gives new meaning to the show: Ted Lasso's heart is big, but it can also be broken as violently and as easily as anyone else's. By the end of the season, Lasso is divorced and renegotiating his relationships with his now ex-wife and son.

The first season of Ted Lasso had already been written—had already aired—by the time Sudeikis found himself living some aspects of it in real life. “And yet one has nothing to do with the other,” Sudeikis told me. “That's the crazy thing. Everything that happened in season one was based on everything that happened prior to season one. Like, a lot of it three years prior. You know what I mean? The story's bigger than that, I hope. And anything I've gone through, other people have gone through. That's one of the nice things, right? So it's humbling in that way.”

And in fact, the seeds of Ted's heartbreak, Sudeikis said, went all the way back to a dinner he had with Wilde around 2015, during which she first encouraged him to explore whether Ted Lasso could be more than just a bit on NBC. “It was there, the night at dinner, when Olivia was like, ‘You should do it as a show,’ ” he said. They got to talking about it. Sudeikis asked why Ted Lasso would move in the first place, to coach a team he had no real reason to coach: “ ‘Okay, but why would he take this job? Why would a guy at this age take this job to leave? Maybe he's having marital strife. Maybe things aren't good back home, so he needs space.’ And I just riffed it at dinner in 2015 or whenever, late 2014. But it had to be that way. That's what the show is about.”

I said to Sudeikis that I thought that while it was common for artists to put a lot of their lives into their art, it was less common that they end up living aspects of the art in their lives, after the fact.

“I wonder if that's true,” he replied. “I mean, isn't that just a little bit of what Oprah was telling us for years and years? You know, manifestation? Power of thought? That's The Secret in reverse, you know?”

But…if we're being honest, is that a thing you wanted to manifest?

“No. No. But, again, it isn't that. It wasn't that. And again, that's just me knowing the details of it. Like, that's just me knowing where it comes from, where any of it comes from.”

But he acknowledged it had been a hard year. Not necessarily a bad one, but a hard one. “I think it was really neat,” he said. “I think if you have the opportunity to hit a rock bottom, however you define that, you can become 412 bones or you can land like an Avenger. I personally have chosen to land like an Avenger.”

Is that easier said than done? To land like an Avenger?

“I don't know. It's just how I landed. It doesn't mean when you blast back up you're not going to run into a bunch of shit and have to, you know, fight things to get back to the heights that you were at, but I'd take that over 412 bones anytime.”

He paused, then continued: “But there is power in creating 412 bones! Because we all know that a bone, up to a certain age, when it heals, it heals stronger. So, I mean, it's not to knock anybody that doesn't land like an Avenger. Because there's strength in that too.”

Shirt, $228, by Todd Snyder. Shorts, $480, by Bode. Watch, $6,300, by Cartier.

In February, Sudeikis attended the Golden Globes, which were being held remotely on Zoom. He had his misgivings about the event—the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which votes on the awards, had been in the news for a series of unflattering revelations about its organization, and also the show was taking place in the middle of the night in London. Tom Ford had sent over a suit for Sudeikis to wear, and he tried it on, in his flat in Notting Hill, but he felt ridiculous, there in the middle of the night, and so changed out of it and into a tie-dyed hoodie made by his sister's clothing company. “I wore that hoodie because I didn't wanna fucking wear the fucking top half of a Tom Ford suit,” he said. “I love Tom Ford suits. But it felt weird as shit.”

“With kids, knowing is half the battle. But adulthood is doing something about it. ‘I'm bad with names.’ ‘I'm always late.’… All right, so win the fucking battle by doing something about it!”

The rest of this story you know: Sudeikis ended up winning best actor for Ted Lasso and gave a dazed acceptance speech while wearing the hoodie, and this in turn sparked glee and speculation about his mental and physical states. For the record, “I was neither high nor heartbroken,” Sudeikis said. It was just late at night and he didn't want to wear a suit. “So yeah, off it came and it was like, ‘This is how I feel. I believe in moving forward.’ ”

Lately, Sudeikis told me, he had been trying to pay more attention to how he actually felt about any given thing, to all the various signs and omens that present themselves to a person during the course of living their life. Even in his past, he said, there were moments that were obvious in retrospect, in terms of what the universe was trying to tell him, messages he missed entirely at the time. In Vegas, where he was living with Cannon before Saturday Night Live, he developed alopecia and his hair stopped growing, and he didn't know why. And then, at the end of his 30s, “during the nine months before Otis was born and the nine months after he was born,” Sudeikis developed extremely painful sciatica. “I went and got an MRI and was like, ‘Oh, yeah, the jelly doughnut in my L4, L5, is squirting out and touching a nerve.’ ” But why? When he had his second child, this didn't happen at all. So: why?

“I mean, since last November,” Sudeikis said, “the joke that feels more like a parable to me is a guy is sitting at home watching TV and the news breaks in to say flash flood warning. About an hour later he goes outside on his porch and he sees that the whole street is flooded.” You've probably heard the rest of this joke before: While the guy is praying to God for some kind of help, a truck, a boat, and a chopper come by, offering aid, which the guy turns down. God'll provide, he says. Sudeikis finished the joke: “Two hours after that, he's in heaven. He's dead. He says, ‘God, what's up, man? You didn't help me.’ God goes, ‘What do you mean, man? I sent you a pickup truck, I sent you a speedboat, I sent you a helicopter.’ ” So, Sudeikis said, “you can't tell me that hair falling out of my head wasn't—I don't know if it was the speedboat or the pickup truck or the helicopter, but yeah, man, it all comes home to roost. What you resist persists.”

He went on. “That's why I had sciatica,” he said. “That's the speedboat. That was like: ‘Hey, you gotta take a look at your stuff.’ ”

And this is another way that Sudeikis and Ted Lasso are alike, because both are always learning and relearning this lesson, which is: Be curious. Both are philosophical men whose philosophies basically boil down to trying to live as decent a life as is possible. Not just for the sake of it but because to be curious—to find out something new about yourself or someone else—is to be empowered. “I don't know if you remember G.I. Joe growing up,” Sudeikis said, “but they would always end it with a little saying: ‘Oh, now I know.’ ‘Don't put a fork in the outlet.’ ‘Why?’ ‘Because you could get hurt.’ ‘Oh, now I know.’ And then somebody would say, ‘And knowing is half the battle.’ And I agree with that—with kids, knowing is half the battle. But adulthood is doing something about it. That's the other half. ‘I'm bad with names.’ ‘I'm always late.’ Oh! Well, knowing is half the battle. All right, so win the fucking battle by doing something about it! Get better at names. Show up five minutes early, make it a point to do it. So, I'm still learning these things. But hopefully I've got plenty of time to do something about it.”

Sudeikis smiled a little wearily: “I mean, at the end of that joke, the guy still got to go to heaven, you know?”

Zach Baron is GQ's senior staff writer.

A version of this story originally appeared in the August 2021 issue with the title "Jason Sudeikis Paints His Masterpiece."

PRODUCTION CREDITS:

Photographs by Hill & Aubrey

Styled by Michael Darlington

Grooming by Nicky Austin

Tailoring by Nafisa Tosh

Set design by Hella Keck

Produced by Ragi Dholakia Productions

the ultimate citation list for Schneider of ODAAT, volume 1

A reference collection of quotes and details, organized chronologically, for the first 26 episodes of One Day At A Time. Used to create this character guide.

“Can you believe it's only been 10 months since you moved in? I remember 'cause I got my five year sober chip and your mom baked me that cake. I enjoyed watching you guys eat it." 1x01

"You're 40 and you look stupid." “I'll have you know, I was invited to several Pride parades." 1x01

Uses a “very expensive” Damascus steel hammer. 1x01

"I've been doing some outreach down at the rec center, talking to at-risk youth. You guys wanna start takin' bets? Actually, scratch that. I'm addicted to gambling.” 1x01

"Love isn't even real. It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad." 1x02

"Hey, I may have money in the bank and two living parents, and four living stepmothers but there is a hole in here. We never had family meals. I ate alone in front of the TV. Oh, don't get me wrong. It was a massive TV. Sometimes my nanny would join me, but only if I agreed to watch telenovelas. This one time, Rosa got jealous of the housekeeper 'cause she was makin' a move on her man, so she threatened to throw live scorpions on her while she slept. Rosa was my nanny. Ex-nanny. Now, stepmother." 1x03

[Lydia and Pen fighting] “It's startin' to feel kinda like home in here.” 1x03

Schneider cooks fancy hipster food. "Nutted quinoa, wilted broccolini with radish micro-greens, and venison carpaccio on a bed of nettles. Grab a cedar plank and dig in." 1x04

"Always interesting to be the sober one at a dinner party." 1x05

"I immigrated here illegally. I'm a Canadian. But yeah, born in the 'Couve, overstayed my student visa, forced to live in the shadows of Pepperdine University. Anyway, it's fine now. My lawyers made it all okay." 1x05

Uses sheet masks, knows about chauffeurs, butlers, estates. 1x06

“The kids barely touched my black olive tapenade.” “Thanks for helping out, but maybe next time pick a food a kid would wanna eat or has heard of.” “Yeah, and maybe next time, don't hand out masks with my face on them.” 1x07  

"The members of my college band have finally put aside our differences and we're reuniting to play at the fair this afternoon. My band, Full Sail, plays yacht rock. These guys were like family. I used to show up at their dorm rooms unannounced and just hang out for hours and hours and hours." 1x07

"We were setting up for the show and our keytarist threw a decorative anchor at me. This is why Full Sail broke up in the first place. Too many passionate personalities." 1x07

Has a magnifying glass in his costume trunk. 1x07

"I know nothing about my grandparents and I never will. And they live in Pasadena!" (but he goes to 'the depot' in Pasadena) 1x09

"I have never seen such un-professionalism. This is why I don't work!" 1x09

"I need to find a new place to get my eyebrows threaded." 1x10

Has a safe. 1x10

"Well, Father believed it's best to have this kinda discussion in a car because you don't have to make eye contact. Plus, you're traveling in the same direction, which fosters intimacy. So we're in the Bentley with our chauffeur, Paco. Father said it's time to have the talk. We came to the next stoplight. He hopped out, Paco told me everything." 1x10

"I didn't get the period talk till I was 12. Paco just called it 'Shark Week.'" 1x10

"When I was a kid, there was an adult section in the back of the video store. Behind the beads. I'd always chicken out and just rent a Jane Fonda workout tape. Still worked. Still works." 1x10

"You'd be surprised how many of my hookups started with 'Ugh!' ...When I was 15, I told Father I wanted to be a professional tap dancer. He laughed. It was that lack of support that contributed to my drinking and drug problem. Oh, do you find that amusing? Because 15-year-old Schneider's drinking peach schnapps out of an unused tap shoe right now." 1x11

"You have a girl over here and you were offering to have sex with me?" - "Yes, Penelope. That's the kind of friend I am." 1x11

"My dad never came to my games. All he ever did was put me through rehab six times and buy me this building." 2x01

"Maroon 5 is the best." 2x01

"Okay, I decided to take a break from dating. See, I realized that women were just another one of my addictions, like alcohol, drugs, gambling, cigarettes, snow globes. The point is, I've broken the cycle of addiction with spinning. Five hours a day, every single day. I have to do it! Plus, it's the perfect substitute for dating, 'cause it burns a lot of energy and also numbs my junk!" 2x02

“Snow globes? Is this one of our family?” 2x02

"I come over, tell him to do stuff to me, he does it, I go home. You should get one." "I think what Nikki was kinda dancing around is that you don't always have to have a relationship with a capital "R." Sometimes all you need is what the great poets of the Renaissance called a junk buddy." "Exactly. You don't even have to like them." 2x03

"See, the great thing about having a green card is you get to live here without having to do all the stuff Americans have to, like vote or serve jury duty or become obese."

"Okay, but at least you vote in Canadian elections." "Mmm. No. Even in Canada, nothing ever changes. Clean air, sensible gun control, free health care. The system's rigged." 2x04

Can picture himself “doing it” with Elizabeth Warren, was Stephen Hawking for Halloween. 2x04

"You have to pay taxes with a green card? I just texted my accountant, and he said 'cause I'm in the highest income bracket, I don't have to pay taxes." 2x04

Keeps on hand: panic room, gas mask, water purification pills, MREs, enough cash to get to Cape Verde by boat. Followed Max on Instagram. Would be honored to be Penelope's maid of honor. 2x05

"I'm very patriotic. Look in that basket. There's a bald eagle thong." 2x06

All Elena's video game equipment belongs to him. 2x06

"Penelope, tell my third stepmother I loved her! Not the second one, though. She was kind of a jerk." 2x06

"Hummer limo's downstairs. My third stepmother used to take me to the racetrack to spy on Father. For the longest time, I thought she was saying, 'Your father is with Rebecca, that horse!' It's like I'm back at the racetrack with my stepmom. What's next? Throw a mint julep in his face?” 2x07

"I love Cuba! I've been there four times. Property manager, job's just temporary. My father owns the building. I'm really a musician. Play a lot of rap-rock-ska. I'm like a male Gwen Stefani. When you're hiring a nanny, make sure she's not too hot. That's how I met my fifth mom. I had four nannies and look at the results." 2x08

Did not speak a word of Spanish when he first met them, is interested in single moms. 2x08

"If you joined an adult kickball team after saying you were too busy to join mine, you are on a long road to forgiveness." 2x09

"Your idea of stress is when your chest-waxer goes out of town." "Roberto is the only one who doesn't make it sting!" 2x09

"I shouldn't have to need these either, but I do. To see. So it's Fourth of July, 2011. I'd been sober for a while, so I thought I'd celebrate with a beer. Woke up three days later in an alley. Then the bowling ball hit me. I was in the gutter for a long time. It's really slippery without the shoes. That was the day I truly accepted that I can't have alcohol or drugs, ever. Not a beer, not a glass of wine, not even six hits of acid at a Grateful Dead show, no matter how well it makes me dance. I kinda get where you're coming from. There's something I want that I can't have for the rest of my life." 2x09

He and Pen are best friends. Also considers Max his bestie. Wants to Netflix and chill with them both, together. 2x09

"My abuelita used to put Vicodin in her coffee. And her lemonade and her sandwiches. Maybe she had a problem. As my father said to me on my ninth birthday, 'You don't need me anymore.' I use my garage for pickling and sea horse breeding." 2x10

Loves puns. "This is Elena Alvarez, my handyman mentee. Or handy-manatee." "The toilet is a cruel mistress. She is flush with complications." 2x10

"Herb and Sherb McGurb. Her real name is Sheryl, but she gets a kick out of Sherb." 2x10

"Bonsai's for dorks. This is penjing. The gentle Chinese art of tray scenery. Now that you're working for me, I finally have some leisure time." "Oh, look, there's little people. Wait, is that my family?" "Could be any Cuban family." 2x10

"I may only look two or three years older than you, but I have the wisdom of that ancient bonsai!" 2x10

"Always take the lemonade. That's Handyman 101! So you watched Jeopardy with them and then what? Well, now we know what your problem is! You fixed their toilet, but you didn't fix their souls. Elena, growing up, I had everything. But I was always alone. I don't want my tenants to feel that way, so I do more than just fix stuff. Apartment 306, macrame with Mrs. Watson. 201, lose at chess to Mr. Roth. 402, listen to all their Cuban nonsense. That's the job. That's what takes four hours. That's the difference between being a handyman and a super." 2x10

Has heard 'you're fired' a lot. 2x10

"After a grueling 30 minutes of thought, Nikki, will you be my starter wife? You're on the rebound. That's the best time to get married. You don't have time to think. So you were never thinking about me? My emotions? My feelings? You used me, Nikki, Finn's mom! And not in the way I like! And that's not all, Sister Barbara. We knew each other. Biblically. And while we were doing it, she took the Lord's name in vain. A lot!" 2x11

"Last night, I was testing the pH of the water in my seahorse ranch and, as I looked at those vomiting little guys, I realized I suck at tests. All tests. Drug, sobriety, vision, IQ, smog. You name it, I fail it!" 2x12

"Have you ever been arrested?” “Does public nudity at a hockey game count?” “There is, uh, no mention of a public nudity charge in your file.” “Oh, you just go to YouTube and type in 'Zam-boner.'" 2x12

"Yeah, they didn't specifically ask if I got drunk and tried to ride a moose, so after that I was golden." 2x12

"How important is having kids to you?" "Never really thought about it." 2x12

"I'll have you know I babysat my babysitter's kids while she was babysitting my dad, so, yeah, I got a little experience under my belt. Oh, it's my cousin Gordy. He still thinks I'm full-on Canadian. All right, good news is Gordo bought it. Bad news is I'm judging a poutine festival in Saskatoon next week." 2x12

"You're the single greatest mother I know." "Thank you. That means a lot coming from a guy with five moms." 2x12

"Fuzzy Afghan she likes, picture of the Pope, picture of a different Pope, picture of your dad, picture of the family, picture of me with the family, picture of me by a waterfall. I'm just gonna keep talking 'cause I'm not good in crisis situations." 2x13

"It's so crazy how we're both immigrants. I mean, I would never compare my story to yours, but the parallels are spooky. You were 18, I was 18. You left your family behind. I left four step-families, a maid, a butler, a chauffeur, and a horse groomer who really got me. But Father was expanding his business to the US and so I had to go. I remember, at the airport, I was crying. But Father put his arm around me and he said, 'Son, only losers cry.' So that was a long flight. You don't know how dirty a dirty look can get until you're crying for a whole plane ride and you're not a baby. I really didn't wanna be in America. So I drank. And I recreated the snowy plains of Canada with cocaine. I'm told I attended classes at Pepperdine University, but I will have to take that on faith. So, I'm in a detox center in El Segundo. This was my fourth rehab. My re-re-re-rehab. I thought I'd been doing a kickass job keeping my drug stuff a secret from all the tenants and then you showed up in my room at that clinic. You brought me sopa de pollo and said it's Cuban penicillin. You told me, 'You eat this, you get some sleep, and tomorrow, you try again.' And then you tucked me in and kissed me good night on my forehead. Forehead kisses are wildly underrated. Just something really comforting about 'em. Then again, it might just be you. Dad never did that. Or my horse groomer. After I got out of rehab, I started hanging around your apartment a lot more, 'cause it helped. Back then, it must have felt like you had this annoying, intrusive guy over. Not like now. 'Cause now you're my family. Don't worry. I haven't legally changed my last name to Alvarez. My lawyer said it was a whole thing, so... Anyway, Pen said no crying, so I'm not gonna. Actually, for once, I agree with Father. Only losers cry. And we're not losing anybody today. Let's hit that oath ceremony soon, okay?" 2x13

Michael and Maria💜

Scene goes 👽

I wonder if that Max that is watching Liz the alien space suit across the street at the UFO Center. Hub does not look like he's a friendly person Valenti sure doesn't like him. So .Hub was a alien Hunter interesting🤔

I love it when other people talk to Max Isabel or Michael about the aliens being dangerous and killers they have no idea that they are talking to one of the aliens. Totally called that it was Max in the alien suit because he was staring at Liz way too long for it to be anyone else. Those tourists are back from the beginning of the pilot oh, they seem like they're going to stir up trouble. Max is going to Michael for advice wow that's a first. Of course Max will throw himself into more work Max really needs a hobby.👽

I was just an odd encounter with some random celebrity that Max had Max isn't in charge of finding Suites for celebrities. ( I feel like what's a scene they had to throw in there it just doesn't feel like it fits). Hub has no idea he's talking to a alien right up front and center, even though he has direct contact before. Hub seems too suspicious to me I don't trust the guy. Why is Valenti going through his father's things oh, I think Hub got to him making him think of past with his father was a sheriff.

I love that Max has booth looks like an alien ship. Max always thinks that he can do things on his own even though he did ask Michael for advice on how to stop thinking about liz. Liz has no boundaries even though she told Max that he was busy she still went around Booth talk to him. So I guess he did need Michael help after all thinking about mud. Whatever Valenti is thinking he needs to stop should not worry about hub. Amy was definitely flirting or trying to with Valenti. Valenti was too focused on finding Hub to realize it. It was almost believable that Alex wasn't following for looking for Isabel because the whole town is at the same place until Maria said good you found Isabel he was looking for you. So Valenti blame hub for everything that has happened to his father going downhill. And of course Max would happened to see Hub and Valente talking. Valenti needs to not fall for hubs trap. I don't think he wants to help about Valenti.

Oh no that have your main celebrity fall into concrete wet concrete that's a little embarrassing. Oh no. Something's going on with Larry and Jen the tourists from the plot episode. I wonder what Hubb is looking for at the UFO Center cuz he's just walking around like he's trying to find something. I got a bad feeling about him.

Even Max is suspicious of Hubb. I wonder if Valenti's dad is telling the truth about Hub having a wife and kids. You may be out of it but I think bits and pieces he's telling our true. Liz should have never said Max's name while she was talking to Jen. I knew Larry is going to be was going to say something about what happened back in September I love that Michael did the itching thing again by touching someone. Subscene really intrigued into Larry's story as if he believes Larry. Now hope is going to be fixating on Max.

I love Amy and her quirky ideas I feel bad that she needs somebody to fill in for the alien Smash down. Michael overhearing Maria's mother saying that if she doesn't do this competition she's broke and that's going to make him want to help her because it's Maria's mother. I can't believe a lengthy is falling for a Hubbs BS. I think the girl in the photo is Hub wife, only because Valenti's dad said Hub had a wife and Kid and for fact that he wouldn't tell Valente who's in the photo makes me suspect that It's his wife. You can totally see Valenti having a debate in his head does he trust hub or doesn't he.

I don't think Alex knew that he was suffocating Isabel the way that he was that's a hard thing to hear that you're suffocating someone I think this is going to be the end of Alex and Isabel even though they weren't even an item. Alex really stepped in it when he asked that question about guys being obsessive I really like how Jen through her two cents into the conversation. Alex was not expecting all this information at the same time.

👽

boom shakalaka totally called it that was hubs wife. Hub is only staying around because he's interested in Max and Max has no idea. Such a lame Excuse that he brokering on his car and his slides are at home. Hope is such a liar and Max is so naive to believe him. In reality Hub is the cause of everything.

I can't believe Hub thinks that Max is the alien shape-shifter it's so nice that time helping Liz for extra money and that Liz allowed her to help. I don't believe that Larry is really ready to get married.

I'm so glad that Michael is there to rescue it's a bummer that Max had to use his powers in front of him. I'm so glad that Valenti came at that exact moment when he did. I just realized that Valenti has beautiful blue eyes they're kind of captivating looking. I don't blame Max for being upset with Valenti he's correct Valenti's job is to protect him not to go after him he's the sheriff his job is to Serve and Protect.

💜 well Michael just stepped in it what's a way to beat someone's mother. Michael is really dead set on keeping those walls up you can tell that he's kicking himself for the way he just met Maria's mother whoever he has to put this show on that he really doesn't care on how he just met her mother.

💜 I love what Michael did for Maria and her mother Michael is definitely a keeper. we are going to slow motion he's definitely going to have to use his mud method. I feel so bad for Maria.

Well you guys that's the end of the episode I had fun I hope you had fun I'll see you on the other side.

[B] quotes of the episode "Maxwell you have to be strong you can't let yourself be led around by your.... energy source"

Up next : blind date

Edit NOT mine

Omg you guys I'm so excited to start ranting about Roswell [1999-2002]

It's just going to be my opinions of each episode and all the Feelings it brings back. If you have not seen the show don't read there will be SPOILERS .

Leat get on with the episode

I'm a huge fan of voice-overs I think it up so does she start with them. I like it that you see the episode through that person's eyes are the events that happened. In this case the episode is through liz eyes. Who carries around any alien picture in the pocket, Tourists people believe anything. Some people can be so rude. Max Evans does have starting promble it's a little creepy like. ( then again I would not mind him staring). It's definitely not in Maria's meditation. You can already tell that Max and Liz have this unspeakable connection they are not even speaking to each other at this moment. Liz getting shot is a little bit her fault , when everyone else saw the gun they all duct except for Liz. When Max tells Maria to call an ambulance I get it it was to distract her I can get her out of the way however Max healed Liz to the point where she didn't need an ambulance. I think the flashback of Liz in a cupcake dress is super cute the dress is super cute for a little girl however I don't think the little girl looked cute in a dress.( that's just my opinion) I really do you like that coconut bra she's wearing. Even from a young age Max can you say creepy just a little bit. Everytime I see Michael Guerin my heart flutters. There's just something about him. So here you have it the start of Max and Liz.

I love Maria's description of the two people that had a gun who arguing. I love that gets caught sniffing something it does look illegal. Tourits people need to not stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Liz should have said yeah they must have been kid from my school instead of pretending not to recognize them. Why would you hide your uniform and your school book bag I totally would have hid it somewhere in my room or just got rid of it. I think I would have been a little more freaked out if I saw a silver handprint on my stomach after just being shot. Of course curiosity got the best of liz.( you know they say curiosity killed the cat) Kyle the boyfriend is kind of cute not my fav person at the moment( spoiler alert he does grow on me eventually).

This is one of my favorite scenes of Max( there are not many of them) where he just simply points to the sky he didn't say anything he just points. I even like that he throws in a joke to soften the situation. I can't believe Max has that much faith in Liz that he put his life in her hands now just by telling her his secret.

Maria Spidey senses are going off she knows that there's something off with Liz which means she knows her best friend very well. However on the other hand Maria does a tend to overthink things. Alex is such a dud, I guess you just need that one dud in the show and just happened to the Alex( that's just my opinion). I don't blame Isabelle for being pissed off at Max for spilling the beans and for being super hero theme day. I love the fact that they put hot sauce on everything( I put everything and makes food just tastes better however I do not put hot sauce in my drinks). I totally understand Michael wanting to leave because I know what it feels like to be wanted just for the monthly check. I guess this is why I relate too Michael more.

( there's a little hiccup in this episode) [when Maria is complaining to Alex in the cafe abou Liz t not sitting next to her and homeroom< today>, is before the scene where she talks Liz about the blood on her order slip pad talking in the school bathroom together and it's a hiccup because in both scenes Maria is wearing the same exact shirt.] So thoes two cease should have been flipped.

Max should not be irritated that Isabel is using her powers when NO one is around.( I think Sheriff Valenti is a good looking older man) Isabel face expression looks like she's hiding something, she is so nervous she needs to relax and calm down. Suspicions would have never fell upon them if Michael didn't kick Tabasco sauce can. I completely understand where Michael's coming from. I understand that Max had a split second choice and saving liz or not, but he did not have to tell her the truth not until after he talked to Michael and Isabel first. Liz and Kyle is the most awkward relationship I've ever seen oh, there is really no chemistry. If you have a mystery hand print on your belly like that why wouldn't you be covering it up more try to hide it. Kyle sing that handprint is going to open up a slew of can of worms.

I like that Max is trying to explain what he did and to show her that he's not dangerous. Liz is a is obsessed with Max now. Kyle has such a big mouth why would he go blab to his father about what he saw instead of talking to his first about it. Of course the Sheriff knew that Liz was lying. I don't believe the sheriff when he says that someone turned in her book bag, and I bet the sheriff did not have a search warrant to go through her book bag. Agent Stevens < is the same guy that's in the TV show called the good doctor just a younger version of of himself> the sheriff needs to stop obsessing with this. If he believes his father or feel something is off why would he give the dress away instead of collecting the information off the dress himself.

Liz wasn't expecting Max to go along with telling her everything. Max slipped up and said we instead of I now he has definitely roped in Michael and Isabel. I'm glad Liz told Max everything that she knows what what the sheriff.

I love that Michael doesn't need anything he can just up and leave. It seems like that Michael is the only one who wants to know more about who the alien side of him is. I'm glad that Maria knows now this is a big secret to keep I really hope she doesn't crack under pressure and slips up until someone else. I can't stand Max and the choices he makes he's such a manipulator , he hates choosing Sides he knows that he can't choose to be on Liz side (even though he wants too) He also wants to do what is best for Isabel and Michael (his family) that's why he has to manipulate Isabel in choosing to listen to Liz because he knows that Isabel won't go anywhere without him. And that's why he says he's going to turn himself in, Because he couldn't choose a side.

Of course the plan involves Kyle. I love that Isabel pick out Alex in a crowd of people while wearing a mask. Poor Alex is confused on y Maria is hanging out with Isabelle. Kyle is such a( he doesn't know that he's the distraction or the bait)[ not sure what the word is called] I can't believe Liz is doing this to her boyfriend. You can totally tell that their relationship is a one-sided relationship. That stings when Max asks aren't you going to Read Me My Rights and Valente says do you have any hinting that Valenti doesn't think Max belongs here on Earth. I'm glad that Max answered Valenti's question truthfully about being at the crashdown. Of course Alex would have to get in the way. You can totally tell Valente doesn't believe that his son was standing over Maria. Did Valente just lie to his son? Cuz I'm pretty sure he ran past Liz when he went over towards Maria oh, maybe he really didn't see her while he is running towards Maria. I really wish Valente was on their side instead of making enemies of that instead of trying to figure out what or who they are. Michael Isabelle and Max definitely feel like outcasts when they see each other people cheering and bringing up aliens in the spaceship.

I'm glad that Max is one to say that it's not safe for them to be in a relationship even though he really wants to be. If you read between the lines you would understand why Max says thank you instead of saying you're welcome when Liz says thank you for saving my life. It's because that's the day that his life really began that he could be truly himself.[ here is another oops.. in the beginning it says September 23rd 5 days ago I die however at the end it says September 24th 5 days ago I die... ] (I think that's an error in editing Department) or maybe they want us to think that she was writing all night that It crossed over to the 24th the next day.

Well you guys that's the end of the episode I had fun I hope you had fun I see you on the other side!

Quote of the episode" Great. You're an alien. That's fantastic. Excellent"?

Coming up next: the morning after.

Pic NOT mine