#cal kestis owns my whole heart. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goosewriting · 4 months

Text

Warmth

summary: now that reader got to look underneath the surface, they discover the not so pretty parts about being an inquisitor

relationship: inq!Cal Kestis x gn!reader

warnings: 18+, semi-graphic violence, mentions of blood, trauma, it gets pretty steamy, but still fade to black, implied sexual encounters, cal being emotionally constipated because what else is new, dom cal, soft cal, dirty talk? sorta?, talking about killing people, reader being a nerd, having a bath together, non-sexual nudity, reader gets choked, a lot is happening ok

word count: 12k … this one got away form me, i–

A/N: tbh when i started this i had no idea where i was going with it; this just took on a life of its own. i guess this one’s a little more grounded than the previous one, as reader and cal explore what it means to be an inquisitor. it’s a bit different to my usual stuff but i hope you like it nonetheless :’D

this can be read on its own, but it's technically a sequel to underneath!

(english is not my first language. constructive criticism and grammar corrections are very appreciated!)

— — —

It’s rather calm today, uneventful, as you sit at your office desk doing your work absent-mindedly.

You think back to your first night together with inquisitor Cal Kestis. It’s been some time since then, and you’re glad that there were more nights after that one.

Whatever is going on between you two, you try to be discreet about it. But it didn’t go unnoticed by others how Cal would approach you in the hallways to say hi or have a quick chat to check in on you. At first, you were nervous that it would affect your job in some way, negatively change your relationship with your boss and colleagues (not that you’re too close with them, but you still want to keep it professional and respectful with them). To your surprise though, the others seem to respect you more because of it. Apparently being able to hold your ground against an inquisitor isn't a small feat. ‘Hold your ground’... More like being wrapped around his finger.

You smile to yourself as you think back to a couple of nights back. Your heart quickens and the tip of your ears burn as you remember the trails of kisses Cal left on your skin, setting your whole body on fire, accompanied by words of praise and adoration, words only for you to hear.

Shaking your head to rid yourself of the slippery slope that is your current train of thought, you refocus on the screen in front of you and continue clacking away on the keyboard. You haven’t really defined or put a label on what you two have, but you know it’s special, and it is real. And you’re content with that for now. You like the current dynamic, where you have dinner together as often as your jobs will allow it, and you sleep over at his quarters every other day.

However, lately there’s been a habit of Cal’s that worries you a bit. There’s been several instances now when you wake up in the middle of the night and your hand reaches out to find him, but his side of the bed is empty. Sometimes he’s not in the room at all. Other times you can see him standing at the window with his back towards you; his red hair seems to glow above his dark silhouette contrasting with the dim fiery glow coming from Mustafar, appearing from behind a veil of clouds. You know he knows you’re awake, but you stay still, pretending to be asleep. Whatever is weighing on his mind, whenever he feels ready, he’ll come to you. And you’d wait for as long as he needs.

Still, getting up so often at night starts to take a toll. You notice he’s more irritable, you see the dark bags under his eyes. But when you try to confront him about it, he dismisses it as unimportant, saying he’ll get better sleep that night. But it’s just the same thing over and over again.

One night after dinner, you’re both sitting on his couch, and you finally manage to pry out what has got him unable to sleep: nightmares. You don’t really understand what the problem is; everyone gets nightmares every once in a while. Even if he were to move around a lot, you’d try to calm him down and get him back to sleep.

“Do you know how inquisitors are made?” he asks seemingly out of nowhere while on the nightmare topic.

You take a moment to think about it, and realise that you do, in fact, not. So you shake your head.

“The Empire captures Jedis, to torture and remake them however they see fit”, he explains and stops from a moment to let it sink in.

“Part of them is lost forever,” he continues, his gaze moving to the side, looking at nothing in particular. “The other seems to be trapped, unable to move or escape. Jedis are trained to not give in to hate or anger. For inquisitors, those are the only things keeping them going. Ironically, feeling an enemy’s life force fade away… It makes you feel alive again.” He looks down at his hands. “It lets you feel something again at all: the rage, towards oneself and towards everyone who’s ever wronged you. It’s an addicting feeling, all-consuming. But much too short. So you seek it out again. And the Empire has plenty of enemies they need gone, so you comply.”

He pauses, allowing you to interject if it’s too much, but you remain silent, listening attentively. You’ve never heard this side of him, of how it felt being an inquisitor.

“In those moments–” he goes on, clenching his hands into fists. “–feeding off of someone's desperation and pain that you can feel through the Force, it also opens a minimal gap for you to feel other things too. Things you thought you had forgotten or want to forget, like regret, fear and doubt. Or things you think you don’t deserve to feel anymore, like warmth. Happiness.” He pauses for a moment. “Love.”

You remain silent for a moment longer in case he wants to add anything else, but it doesn’t look like it. So you ask something instead.

“And what do you remember in those moments?”

Cal closes his eyes and throws his head back slightly, taking a deep breath.

“The smell of the temple library on Coruscant,” he replies. “The rare sound of the clones laughing in the mess hall. How safe I felt with my master.”

You tilt your head with a slight grimace; it breaks your heart to hear he thinks he can’t have those things anymore because of what he is now. Or rather, what he was made.

“You still deserve all of that, the warmth and feelings of safety,” you say, and reach out to run your fingertips over his cheek, but he turns away.

“You don’t think I’m a monster? Like everyone else does?” he asks with a wry chuckle. “You know what I do. I don’t deserve any of it.”

Or you.

He doesn’t say the words aloud, but they hang heavy in the air between you two.

“Okay, Kestis,” you say as you stand up, one hand stretched out towards him. “No moping, c’mon.”

He gives you a suspicious look, but accepts your hand nonetheless. You guide him to the washroom and run a bath for him, using one of your nicer bath bombs which you kept for special occasions.

“Time for some pampering. You deserve it,” you enunciate that last part. “Clothes off.”

He narrows his eyes at you, unsure of what you’re scheming. You can’t help but laugh at the faint blush spreading on his freckled face as you start to strip yourself.

“Now, don’t get any ideas. No funny business, I mean it. Just a bath,” you say, pointing a finger at him.

“Alright, alright,” he gives in with a low chuckle, and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

Not long after, you’re both in the tub, with you sitting behind Cal, both enveloped by fragrant bubbles filling the warm water surface. You instruct him to lean back so you can wash his hair. Using your own shampoo instead of the boring, Empire-issue one, you lather up his hair, massaging his scalp, which earns you a grunt or two, and you can’t help a triumphant smile.

“Does it feel good?” you ask, and you get another grunt in response, so it must indeed feel good.

After you’re done with the hair, you tell him to turn around, and you squirt some soap onto a wash cloth. Starting at his neck, you scrub gently in circular motions, making your way down over his shoulder and his arms. Then you repeat the process on the other arm. As you lift it out from the thick layer of bubbles, you notice some reddening on his skin at his bicep. You take a closer look.

“Is that a new scar?” you ask.

“Yeah, don’t know where from though,” he says, and you get the impression that he does, but you don’t ask him about it.

“Is that so,” you mumble, then lean in to place a soft kiss on it. “There, now it will heal faster.”

Cal snorts and rolls his eyes, but his gaze remains soft.

“What, you don’t believe me?” you retort in mock offence. Then you start placing kisses on all his scars, the ones on his face, at his jaw and over his nose. The scars on his chest, his shoulders. You end by placing one last kiss on the tip of his nose, and grin up at him, but your face changes into worry when you see his expression. His brows are furrowed, as if in pain, his eyes shut tightly, his shoulders tense.

“Cal, are you okay?” you ask, and his hand comes out of the water to hold your face. You place your hand over his. He blinks a couple of times, and when he fully opens his eyes again, his features relax, and he smiles warmly. But what shocks you the most is that his eyes aren’t their usual yellow; they’re greenish blue. You open your mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. His gaze is not only a different colour, but also as vulnerable and tender as you’ve never seen before in him.

“You’re too good to me,” he whispers, leaning in to place a single, lingering kiss on your cheek.

Suddenly, his face contorts in pain again, this time more than before, and his hands shoot up to either side of his head, pressing onto his temples. When he opens his eyes again, they’re back to the yellow you know and love.

“My head is killing me suddenly,” he says through gritted teeth. “Can we wrap it up?”

“Uh, of course, yeah,” you answer, making quick work of rinsing off both of you and getting some towels.

Soon you’re both in bed, with your back against his chest, as he holds on to you like his life depends on it. Cal falls asleep first, but it’s rather restless. He keeps twitching and flinching, and with every sudden move, you’re dragged back out of your almost drifting to sleep. When he seems to finally have calmed down, you exhale deeply, eager to follow suit and drift into dreamland as well. Instead, Cal groans loudly, and you lean onto your side to look up over your shoulder. He looks distressed, a thin layer of sweat on his forehead.

“Cal, are you okay?” you ask, placing your hand on his shoulder to try and wake him, but you retrieve it quickly when his eyes shoot open, wild and angry and disoriented.

“Prauf!” he screams, grabbing you harshly and rolling over so he’s straddling you, one of his hands fisting the sheets while the other goes to your throat, starting to choke you.

“C-Cal…!” you rasp out, holding onto his wrist to try and get him off of you. “You’re hurting me!”

He puts more weight into his hold, and you start seeing white dots sprinkled in your field of vision.

“It’s me, please,” you gasp, raising your hand to hold his cheek instead, and that seems to work. Slowly, his eyes seem to focus again, and his ragged breathing calms down slightly. When he finally sees you under him and understands what he is doing, he lets go and jumps off of you, off the bed, and slams his back against the opposite wall. You take a gulp of air, falling into a coughing fit.

“Are you okay?” you croak when you can finally talk again, and you see him holding his head, trembling.

“I- I’m sorry- This-” he starts, but can’t form a sentence. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he lets his hands fall back down to his sides. “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

Cal leaves the room before you can protest, and the doors close behind him. Just like that you’re left alone, wondering what in the world just happened. Does it have something to do with his eyes earlier? And what, or who, is Prauf?

— — —

The next morning, you’re awoken by the alarm clock on his night stand, and it takes you a couple of tries to turn it off. Sitting up on the bed with a yawn, you start remembering what happened the night before, and your hands comes up to your neck, where you can still feel some soreness from being choked like that.

You tiptoe out of the room, but just as you expected, Cal is gone. Taking a quick look at the clock, you yelp as you realise how late it is, and you hurry to the washroom to get ready.

Once you’re ready to go, you take one last look at yourself in the mirror, and realise that your neck has visible marks, clearly in the shape of a hand. You grimace slightly, propping up the collar of your uniform as high up as it will go, and it covers up most of it. As long as you don’t look up or stretch your neck too much, you should be good. So you leave Cal’s quarters and head to your office.

The whole day, you’re a bit distracted, hoping that Cal doesn’t feel too bad about what he did. You just want to help; sure, the nightmares are worse than you thought. But you’ll figure it out, together.

You don’t get to see or hear from Cal the whole day though, or the next, or the one after that. For almost a week, he seems to be avoiding you completely. He doesn’t answer your holocalls or texts. You only catch the occasional glimpse of him leaving a room just when you’re entering.

Tired of this game of cat and mouse, you decide to go find him. Instead, you end up cornered by the Ninth Sister. You’re slightly scared of her if you’re honest – no, scratch that. You are scared of her; she’s incredibly intimidating, not just by her sheer size and strength, but her presence in general. She always sounds mad, a deep frown etched into her face. So when she suddenly tells you to follow her, you don’t find it in you to refuse. To your surprise, she hunts down Cal as well, and brings you both to an empty hallway.

“Whatever is going on between you two: fix it!” she barks, then turns around with a scoff, muttering something about it being like scolding children.

You look around, and there’s no one around, so you look up at Cal’s helmet visor, trying to find his eyes under it, but obviously only seeing your own reflection.

“Hey,” you greet him, giving him a smile to signal you’re not mad. “I missed you.”

His shoulders slump slightly, and he looks around as well. Instead of answering, he grabs you by your elbow and guides you some steps down the hallway to a maintenance shaft. He flicks his wrist, and the doors open, he shoves you both inside and closes the doors.

Only now does he take off his helmet, and you can’t suppress a gasp, horrified at the sight. His hair is sticking out everywhere, the bags under his eyes are the darkest you’ve ever seen, and he not only has new scratches on his face, he also a black eye that seems to be a couple of days old.

“What happened to you?” you ask, and you’re aware that it’s not a great opener, but you’re genuinely worried. Your hands gingerly run over his face as you inspect the damage. Cal shrugs nonchalantly.

“I’ve been distracted lately and it affected my performance,” he says with a wry smile. “So they had to correct my bad behaviour.”

You take a moment to make sure you’re properly understanding what he’s implying. By the look in his eyes, kinda sad and a bit ashamed, it seems you are.

“Do you get corrected often?” you ask carefully.

“Sometimes. When I get greedy,” he answers. You think back to your conversation about being an inquisitor, and remember how he said that he only got a glimpse back into his own heart when he was out there, doing horrible things. Does that mean he was defying orders just to be able ‘to feel something at all’?

“Do you usually get corrected… after being with me?” you ask this time, almost scared of the answer.

“It’s not your fault,” he indirectly answers your question, taking your hands in his. “Being with you is just as addicting as being out there. I’m just… weak like that, I guess.”

“Oh, Cal,” you whisper, giving his hands a squeeze. “The warmth you yearn for and that you seek, it may make you feel vulnerable, and you think that makes you weak, but all it does is make you real. You’re real, Cal, and so am I. And I don’t want you to get hurt. You don’t need to be greedy; I’m here, I always will be. You deserve that warmth, and if you’ll have me, I’ll give you all of it.”

His brows rise slightly in surprise, and you realise you basically just professed your love for him. Heat erupts on your face and in your panic, you grab onto his collar and kiss him, hard at first, but then you’re both moving in unison with a rare softness you don’t always get to experience from him.

Suddenly he pulls back with a pained grunt, and he slides down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor.

“Cal, are you okay? What’s wrong?” You kneel down beside him, and you lift his face to look at him. Once again, you’re met with blue eyes, this time like an ocean about to erupt into stormy waves. He’s close to tears, and he looks so scared, so small, it breaks your heart. If only you knew how to mend the broken pieces of his soul, you’d kiss them all better if you could.

“I’m sorry I stayed away so long,” he suddenly says, hugging you into his chest. “I just couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you again. What if I don’t snap back in time? What if I do something worse?”

You rack your brains for something reassuring to say, and finally land on something.

“You know, as a kid I used to have this recurring nightmare,” you start, hoping to not only get your point across better with your story, but also getting him out of the rabbit hole he was about to go down. “I kept dreaming that my parents abandoned me. We would all be together somewhere, and I looked away for a moment, but by the time I turned back around, they were gone. And I would feel so alone, and full of dread, I felt like I was going crazy. I’d often wake up screaming and crying.”

You take a moment to gauge his reaction; talking about your pasts has been kind of a taboo topic between you two. He openly said once that he doesn’t want to talk about his past, which you respect, but it also meant he never asked questions about yours. Maybe he’s scared to know more because it would reawaken memories of his own. Maybe he just doesn’t want to pry. Maybe he doesn’t care. Either way, you’re now crossing that invisible line and hope it won’t scare him away completely.

“No matter how much my parents reassured me that they wouldn’t abandon me, it always played out the same,” you continue your story. “One night, I was so scared of having the nightmare again, that I straight up refused to go to sleep. That’s when my mother told me this: sometimes, dreams are just your mind and soul processing something that actually happened. But other times, it’s the mind’s way of trying to find closure for something that hasn’t happened. So even if the dream isn’t nice, you have to wait until the end. Only then will your mind be able to tell you what it needs, even if it’s something you don’t want to hear.”

Wiping the silent tears off of Cal’s cheeks, you give him a comforting smile.

“And I know this doesn’t compare in any way to the nightmares you have,” you say. “But, maybe, you just need to let them play out. What if it’s your subconscious trying to tell you something and you cut it off before it has a chance to? What if… it’s the Force trying to tell you something important?”

This seems to click in some way with Cal, and he takes a moment to think over your words.

“Whatever happens, when you wake up you won’t be alone. I promise”, you assure him.

Cal is about to say something, when his eyes shut closed and he claims his head hurts again. He blinks a couple of times, holding his head, and his eyes switch between greenish blue and yellow.

“Don’t block it out,” you encourage him, removing his hands from his temples and bringing them to your face instead. “I take back what I said earlier. You can be greedy, but not out there. Be greedy with me. Take everything you want, Cal. As much as you need. It’s all for you.”

He blinks one, two more times, his eyes fully reverted to their usual fiery yellow, and the fear from before is completely gone, now replaced with something sharp and dark.

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” he says through gritted teeth, his whole body trembling in anticipation or self-control, maybe both.

“But I do,” you reassure him, climbing over his legs so you’re sitting on his lap, and gently press your forehead against his. “That yearning is eating you up from the inside. You’re hurting. It doesn’t have to be like that.”

Cal’s hands wander from your cheeks over your shoulders, down your arms, until they rest on your waist. He looks up at you, still a little unsure, and you roll your hips against his to further encourage him and tell him it’s okay. You both can’t help the low moans that escape your lips.

“It’s okay, Cal,” you whisper, leaning in and stopping just above his lips, where you feel his shaky breath. “Consume me until there’s nothing left.”

That seems to snap him back to his usual, more dominant self that he is in intimate moments like this. Adjusting your position in his lap, he presses your body into his, kissing you passionately. It’s just as intense as your make-out sessions usually are, but there’s something else lingering as well. You can’t quite describe it, but it’s like there’s a newfound meaning behind his actions. As if he is trying to pour his whole being and soul into it in an attempt to reach you. And it does. In fact, he’s using all his senses, Force included, to breathe in all of you, and his presence envelops you like it never has before.

You start undoing both your uniforms, and you pull back for a moment to take a much needed breather.

“You’re doing great,” you pant, not really thinking about what you’re saying as you try to undo the clasps and buttons as fast as your trembling hands will allow. “Such a good boy for me.”

To say that his whimper takes you by surprise, is an understatement. You stop your movements and pull back a little more to take in the image before you: Cal’s partially exposed chest is rising and sinking rapidly, a violent blush spreading from the tip of his ears all the way down to his sternum. His usual confidence and cockiness seem gone, and biting his bottom lip, hair completely dishevelled, he gives you a flustered look you’ve never seen on him.

“Don’t call me that,” he breathes, trying to pull you closer again so you can’t look at him.

“Call you what, a good boy?” you tease him, and his whole body tenses up under you as he takes a sharp breath. “I think you rather like it, no? Being such a good boy for me. C’mon, keep going.”

He relentlessly attacks your neck just the way he knows you like, biting and licking and nibbling along your pulse.

“Ah, kriff, these uniforms, I swear–” you curse under your breath into Cal’s temple, trying to rid yourself of your jacket without losing contact with him. You only manage to push it down to your elbows. Cal’s hands slip under your shirt and start wandering up and up. Your whole body feels like it’s on fire, goosebumps erupting on your arms and back as you arch yourself into his hold. Another moan escapes your throat as he bites down hard, immediately licking the darkened spot. You finally manage to shake off your jacket and–

Your comlink beeps and you groan. Cal seems unbothered, as he’s still going, now moving back up to finding your lips, tongue darting out to meet yours. After blindly tapping around to find the device in a pocket of your discarded jacket, you take it out and look at the caller ID. Your blood freezes when you recognise it to be your boss. Right, you’re in a maintenance shaft half naked with the inquisitor when you should be at your office.

Shoving Cal away begrudgingly, he growls in annoyance, about to flick the still beeping comlink out of your hand.

“Wait, wait, it could be important,” you say through heavy breaths, trying to calm yourself down enough to sound somewhat normal. Cal merely pushes his face into your chest with a defeated sigh. After clearing your throat, you take the call.

“Took you long enough, officer,” your boss says in a clearly annoyed tone that makes you cringe slightly.

“Sorry, Sir, I was, uh, occupied,” you stumble over your words and mentally slap yourself. Cal doesn’t even try to hide his snort at your response. You smack him lightly on the back of his head.

“Whatever you were doing, officer,” the man says in a way that he knows exactly what you were doing and with whom. “Prepare your things and get ready, you’re to leave for an off-planet mission by tonight.”

“Yes, Sir,” you reply, instinctively straightening your back.

“You’re to meet us at the hangar by 1900 hours. And officer,” he adds with a sigh, his voice adopting a strange tone of embarrassment, almost. “If inquisitor Kestis happens to be there, tell him to come as well.”

“Understood, Sir,” Cal replies with no qualms, and you’re petrified.

After one more sigh and some unintelligible curses, your boss hangs up.

You blink a couple of times, trying to recover from the shock. Great, now your boss knows for sure what you were up to.

“We’re not done here,” Cal says, as he places one last kiss on the corner of your mouth and stands up, helping you get on your feet as well. “We’ll pick up where we left off later.”

“At a different location though, I would hope,” you chuckle as you two get ready to leave the little room.

After a quick detour to the nearest washroom, where you both fix your messy hair and uniforms (his smirk as you’re barely able to cover all the hickeys with your propped up collar will be the end of you), and one to your office for you to pick up some supplies, you make your way to the hangar. A group of people is already waiting for you two; two purge troopers, two stormtroopers of your own squad your boss stand next to Cal’s ship, a zeta-class shuttle: black, sleek and menacing.

After the debrief, you review the data on your holopad. It’s a mission on another planet, and you’re always excited to get one of those, as you don’t get to go out “into the field” often. In this case there’s a possible rebel cell, but their transmissions are set up in a way that decoding them from the Fortress Inquisitorius would take a considerable amount of time, so it’s quicker to get close to the base and physically infiltrate their comms system to get the information you need. Additionally, there’s been a tip about a possible Jedi being hidden within the rebel group, that’s why they’re sending an inquisitor as well. You’re to stay on the ship working on the decryption while they do their thing.

The ship takes off, and once you’re far enough, you make the jump into hyperspace. During the trip, both the purge troopers and Cal sit unnervingly still, probably power napping and saving their energy for the possible fight ahead. Your two troopers are in the cockpit flying the ship and having a chat, so you have a lot of time for yourself. You mainly work on preparing your equipment, revising your software and getting all the tools you’d need ready. It doesn’t take long for you to have everything prepped; the moment you’d enter the planet’s atmosphere, your scans would tell you the rebel’s comm system location within seconds, and once you land, you can head right out to hook up your own tech. There’s still a good portion of waiting after you’re done though, and with the constant hyperspace humming, you find yourself dozing on and off, replaying the earlier conversation you had with Cal in your mind, wondering how to act and what to say once you get back to base.

After what feels like an eternity, the piloting troopers finally announce you’re here. The drop out of hyperspace shakes you slightly, and as you look out the window, you see your goal: a small planet on the very edge of the Outer Rim; you’ve never been this far away from the Core Worlds, and as you see the vast expanse of pitch black void surrounding it, you notice the lack of starts in the distance, and you almost let yourself be swallowed by the dread that runs a cold shiver down your spine. Shaking your head, you rid yourself of any distracting thoughts and get to work. As expected, your holopad is already beeping, alerting you that it found your target location. You stand up from your seat and approach the cockpit, for which you have to walk past Cal. His helmet visor is aimed at the floor in front of his feet, and he doesn’t look up as you walk by. For all you know, his eyes could be trained on you though; there’s no way to know for sure.

Standing between the pilot seats, you show one of the troopers the coordinates on your holopad, and he punches them into the console. Holding onto the back of the seat, you stand there as the ship approaches the area you marked, and the landing is swift and almost motionless. So this is what the good ships feel like, you think to yourself. And the troopers seem to be thinking the same, if the slow whistle coming from one of them is anything to go by.

You turn around to go inform the purge troopers you’re here, but Cal is already standing in front of you, blocking your exit from the cockpit.

“My men and I will look for our target, you two stay here,” he says as he points at the two stormtroopers. Then he gestures towards you with his head. “The officer is in charge while I’m gone, and better be unharmed when I come back, understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” they respond in unison.

Cal seems to linger on your form for a second longer, then turns on his heels. The cargo door opens and the smell of humid, tropical air reaches your nose. Cal and his troopers take off, and you nod to yourself with an ‘alright’, as you get to work. Connecting a couple of wires here and there, you call one of the troopers to you.

“We need to bring this–” you point at your contraption. “–to the base of this structure.” You show him the red dot on the holomap at the edge of a water body. “That seems to be the backbone of their communication system. There have to be wires that we can hook the machine into.”

“Understood.”

He picks up the machine and starts heading out. You gather a couple more tools, throw them into your bag and sling it over your shoulder. As you approach the cargo door, you turn to the other trooper one last time.

“You stay here and hold down the fort. Keep the usual channels open for us and for C- Inquisitor Kestis.”

“Yes, Sir!”

And off you go.

After a while, you get to the point at the cliff as indicated by your holomap. Both you and the stormtrooper stand at the ledge, carefully looking down. At the base, a broad river runs along the cliffside. Scanning the rocky walls with your eyes, you find what you’re looking for.

“Jackpot,” you say, pointing at something, and the trooper follows your line of sight. “That’s our transmitter.”

It’s essentially a big metal box built into the side of the cliff, with an antenna on one side and a rather wonky satellite dish on the other, partially hidden under a rocky overhang. You’d have to climb down quite a bit to reach it.

“We didn’t bring any climbing equipment,” the trooper points out.

“We improvise,” you retort with a shrug.

You take the rope out of your bag and tie one end to a nearby tree that looks sturdy enough, and the other around your legs and waist.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Sir,” the stormtrooper starts. “If anything happens to you, Inquisitor Kestis will–” He’s stopped by the stern look you shoot him.

“I know how to take care of myself, trooper,” You say firmly. “Now, help me get down there.”

You plug in one of the thicker wires into your machine, holding the other end between your teeth. The trooper helps you climb down the cliffside step by step, slowly letting you down. Once you reach the desired point by the transmitter, you take the wire out of your mouth.

“Here’s good! Hold it there!” you call. A grunt is all the response you get.

You plug in the wire, and your holopad starts beeping, starting to intercept the messages. But they’re not written words, voices or even proper sounds, it just sounds and looks like static.

“Guess I have to calibrate my receiver,” you think aloud. “Pull me up!”

Climbing back up the way you came, you untie the rope the moment you find your footing again, which left a slight stinging sensation at the back of your legs, and you absent-mindedly rub your bum to alleviate the sensation. You notice the trooper giving you a strange look, and heat spreads on your face.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” you say as you straighten up, looking for an order to give. “Go, uh, go collect the rope.”

“Yes, Sir…” he responds with a snicker.

You roll your eyes, but you’re not really mad at him. That must have just looked really funny. Either way, time to get to work: you kneel down next to your contraption, holding your holopad next to it, adjusting some levels here and pressing buttons there. But no matter how much you try to isolate the signal, it still doesn’t get cleaner or clearer.

The trooper places the neatly tied up rope next to your bag which you left on the ground, then holds up his blaster, undoing the safety. You look up at him in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure…” he answers. “I have a bad feeling about this place. Let’s get what we came for and go back to the ship.”

“Okay…” you stretch out the word, unsure what put him on edge like that. Yes, there’s known aggressive fauna here, but all in all the planet is abandoned, there's no particular danger. Not documented, anyway. You keep looking at the static on your holopad, trying to make sense of it. But the more you see, the less random it seems. That’s when it dawns on you.

Suddenly, you furiously type away on your pad, trying to translate the encoded message, but it’s just gibberish. You tilt your head in confusion, revising your translation; it should be right. But it isn’t. Why?...

“Oh!” You say after a few more seconds, getting up to your feet so quickly that it almost makes you dizzy. “Oh, this is actually quite brilliant. Ah, these rebels sure are getting crafty. Come here, you’re gonna love this.”

The stormtrooper shoots one last look over his shoulder into the vegetation, then turns to you, still holding tightly onto his blaster.

“You ever heard of Dadita?” you ask, not bothering to hide your excitement.

“No?”

“Of course you haven’t,” you say with a click of your tongue. “It’s an ancient Mandalorian code consisting of short and long bursts of static, where each combination stands for a letter. But these rebels combined it with Mon Calamari blink code, which is the same principles but with light sequences. They used Dadita static, but the sequences actually correspond to the blink code letters. No wonder back at HQ they thought we couldn’t intercept proper comms. It’s made to look like static.”

“Uh-huh,” is all you get out of the trooper, still nervously looking around.

“C’mon, this is cool,” you try, but to no avail. Sighing in defeat, you add, “You know what, nevermind. Let’s just go back.”

At least Cal will show interest in your find. Or so you hope. Speaking of, you wonder how he’s doing. You know you shouldn’t ping him as it could interfere with his mission, but you just hope they made it back safely to the ship by the time you’re there.

“Contact the ship, will you? And tell them we’re going back,” you instruct. The trooper presses some buttons on the console on his wrist.

“Ground team to ship, do you copy?”

The only answer is static.

You look in the direction of the ship as the trooper tries again, and you feel something cold on your nose, then on your cheek. You look up; it’s starting to rain. Great. Your machine shouldn’t have trouble with a little rain, but you still don’t feel great about it. You kinda made it up on the spot, so there are a couple of exposed wires.

“We need to go get something to cover the receiver. Any answer yet?” you ask, and it’s really starting to come down now. You have to blink several times to get the water out of your eyes.

“No,” he responds, nervously looking around. “I told you, something is wrong.”

“Okay, no need to panic,” to try to calm him down; his demeanour is starting to make you nervous as well. “Let’s just quickly go back; I'm pretty sure I saw a piece of canvas that we can use to–” You sling your bag back onto your shoulders as you speak, but the inertia of the bag makes you lose your balance for a second, and with the ground now turning into mud, your boot loses its grip on the ground, making you slip and your knees give out under you.

“Officer!” You hear the stormtrooper call as he stretches out his arm in a vain attempt to catch you, but you’re already falling backwards off the cliff. Seemingly in slow motion, the trooper and the treeline disappear from your view, being replaced by a grey, cloudy sky. You close your eyes, feeling the droplets on your face and the air rushing by your ears, and you’re strangely calm. All you can think of is Cal.

Are you okay? I wish we had properly made up before this.

When your back hits the water of the river at the base of the cliff, your survival instincts are awoken all at once. The current is stronger than what it seemed from up the ledge. You swim with all your might, trying to stay afloat and taking gulps of air whenever you can. it isn't long until your arms are burning from the sudden effort, and you scan your surroundings, desperate to find something to hold onto. The river seems to open up and away from the cliffside. Here, the shores are filled with mangrove-like trees, their roots thick and plenty, some of them stretching out like low-hanging branches over the water surface. You try to hold on to one, but your gloves don't provide much of a grip, so you take them off and ditch them. Nearing the next big branch, you ready yourself and throw your upper body out of the water so that you can hold onto it with both your arms, and it works. Slowly, you inch closer and closer to the tree trunk, until you reach the shore. Letting yourself fall onto the mossy ground, you take some deep breaths trying to calm down your breathing, racing heart and aching limbs.

You pat your uniform and conclude that you lost your bag somewhere along the way, which had your holopad and all your equipment. You sit up and wipe the back of your sleeve over your eyes, but the constant rain keeps hitting your face. You pop open the collar of your uniform and it feels like ridding yourself of a chokehold. The uniforms were never particularly comfortable, being on the stiff side, but drenched like this, it’s much worse.

Looking around, you stand up; you have no idea where you are or where the ship could be. Giving yourself one more pat down, you find your comlink in one of your zipped up pockets, and thank the Maker under your breath.

“Hello? Does anyone copy?”

You can hear static, so you assume that it is working, but it’s the mic or speaker, or both that are ruined. At least from the ship they should be able to locate you with it.

A gust of wind makes you shiver slightly; despite it being a rather tropical climate, being completely wet does make you feel the dropping temperatures that will probably await you at night. In fact, it’s starting to get dark.

They’ll find me. It’s fine. I just have to make sure I’m alive by the time they get here, hah, you tell yourself with a wry chuckle.

First thing you have to do is seek shelter from the relentless rain. Hugging yourself, you cringe at the sensation of your feet against the wet boots, but you still take step after step into the vegetation, looking for some place to dry off. Completely lost and giving up on the idea of ever getting out of this maze by yourself, the only information you keep in your head is the direction of the river; you'll be needing water after all. For now, you could just drink rain water though, so you venture further and further away into the forest. With the dense branches sporting big, round leaves, they already stop part of the rain, but not enough. Finally, you come across a big tree, the roots lifted into the air so that they form something akin to a cage, and the ground beneath it is dry; that's exactly what you need.

Hurrying through the gaps between the roots, you take off your boots, jacket and trousers, giving everything a good squeeze to wring as much water out as possible. Left in your underwear and a black short sleeve shirt, you wonder what to do next. You’d need food soon. You sigh, leaning back onto the rough surface of the tree.

“This is exactly why I wanted an office job,” you say bitterly. So much for being excited about a mission ‘on the field’.

For now, you decide to wait out the rain, which could hopefully stop just as suddenly as it started, and you just sit there, holding your comlink in your hands, looking at it intently.

After a while, the rain finally seems to subside, and while your clothes are nowhere dry, you don’t exactly want to explore a jungle half naked. So you put your trousers back on, which takes a while, as the wet fabric keeps sticking to your legs. After what feels like another workout, you finally zip them up, and put on your equally wet boots. Oh, how you crave a warm shower right now.

Taking the jacket into your hands, you feel the wet fabric and decide to leave it. Your skin dried much faster, so it was better to be a little cold without a jacket than very cold with a drenched one. Placing your comlink into your pocket, you go foraging for some sort of fruit or berry. After the rain and with no equipment, you doubt you’d be able to start a fire to cook anything, so you have to find something you can eat raw.

As you’re picking some reddish purple berries from a bush and contemplating if you can eat them, you hear some rustling behind you. Dropping the berries and immediately turning around, you’re met with a human and you notice several things. First of all, they’re holding their side, which is bleeding a lot, their clothes stained in a dark red. Second, you see the lightsabre in their hand, emitting a blueish hue, its electric hum the only sound aside of their ragged breathing. And third, you see the plea in their deep brown eyes, silently asking you for help. Almost in the same moment, you also see their eyes dart down to your uniform and back up to your own, realisation spreading on their face. And you’re conflicted.

You know who’s after them. You know what’s going to happen. So it’s not like you don’t want to help; you can’t. If the circumstances were different, would you help? You realise you don’t want to know the answer to that. Either way, you're unarmed, hungry and shivering, so you can't really put up much of a fight against them either.

“I'm sorry,” you say instead, and you're not really sure which part you're apologising for. You're about to take a step to the side and gesture them to go past you, but you hear footsteps approaching quickly.

The stranger winces in pain as they try to take another step, but collapse onto the ground, the sabre retracting with a whirr. They look up at you again, this time enraged, a deep frown etched into their face, and you're about to say something, but a modulated voice is quicker.

“Officer, what are you doing here?” It’s the purge trooper.

“I- I fell,” you say sheepishly. He scoffs in disbelief, shaking his head.

“Well, good job stopping our target. It’s a slippery one, this one.”

The trooper picks up the sabre, and turns around the Jedi onto their back with his boot, earning a pained grunt. From behind him emerges Cal out of the vegetation, and you’re horrified at how he looks: helmet gone, hair wild, and face partially covered in blood. If it’s his own or not, you can’t tell. He looks frustrated and beyond angry. You’re about to say something, asking if he’s okay, but the sharp look in his eyes freezes you in your spot.

“It’s the end of the line now, Jedi,” he spits through gritted teeth, and holds his red lightsabre a little tighter. He shoots you a quick look, then at his trooper, and motions with his head to the side. The man nods and turns to you, grabbing you by your bicep, and starts dragging you away.

“Wait, wait!” You try to turn back around, but the trooper’s grip keeps facing you forward. When you reach a thick tree, he slams your back into it rather harshly, and tells you to stay there. He doesn’t move from in front of you, holding onto his electrostaff with both hands. It emits an electric crackle of purplish hue, clearly warning you not try anything funny. And to be honest, you don't have the energy right now, so you just rest the back of your head against the bark. You can hear the stranger starting to plead for their life, trying to get under Cal’s skin, saying something about a time before being an inquisitor, but Cal is fresh out of patience, and the Jedi chokes on their words. Their laboured breathing fills this corner of the jungle, and after the sound of a lightsabre swinging and the distinct sizzling of flesh, there is silence.

The purge trooper stretches his neck to see past the tree, then gestures to you with a quick nod.

“Let’s go,” he says, and you comply.

Cal stands in front of the body, partially shielding it from your view, and you walk past him as well, following the trooper. As you three make your way back, you notice there's no trace of the second purge trooper that had left with them.

“The other one's dead,” Cal says before you can even ask, and gets handed the Jedi’s lightsabre, which he clips onto his belt. “Why are you down here? And where's your jacket?” You sigh.

“I fell,” you say, and it still sounds as stupid as it did before. “I slipped, and fell down the cliff. I left my jacket by the river. But before that I did get the receiver hooked up and I know how to decrypt the messages. Do you know if my squad made it back to the ship?”

“Don’t know, our comms don't really seem to work down here.” He suddenly stops and looks around, gesturing to a different direction, and the purge trooper takes off through the bushes. Cal turns back to you, and you shoot him a questioning look.

“You fell from a cliff? Just what were you doing.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, clearly distressed by your reckless actions. “I pinged you several times, and you didn't answer. I knew it probably was the signal being jammed but… I thought that– What if–”

“Hey, it's okay. I'm okay.” You place your hand on his chest and that's when you notice several gashes on his uniform. “Are you okay, though?”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, his worry replaced by exasperation.

“You really shouldn't have–”

He stops in the middle of his sentence and takes a quick step back away from you as both your heads turn towards the sound of approaching footsteps. The purge trooper approaches Cal and hands him his helmet. Or what's left of it, anyway. The visor is broken, the part that sits above the jaw seems to have been sliced off entirely, and there are several dents on the other side. Your eyes meet Cal’s again in worry, but he avoids your gaze entirely.

“Let’s move.”

The trek back to the ship is quick, as per the relentless pace of the two men. There are some obstacles on the way though, where you need a little help. When crossing a river with a particularly strong current, you lose your footing on the rocky riverbed, and find yourself holding onto the next best thing, which happens to be the purge trooper. He lets you hold him as he guides you across to the other side, where he quickly shakes you off. You wonder if he’s really that uncomfortable to be close to you, and you make a mental note not to ask purge troopers for anything in the future, especially if it entailed physical contact of any kind. But what you didn't see were the Force daggers that Cal was stabbing into the back of the poor man’s head.

Not long after the river, you come face to face with an abrupt slope with a flat, rocky surface. It’s almost like a wall, leading to the plateau above. It’s too high to jump and too even to climb, so you wonder how you will get up there. Once again, Cal seems to read your mind, as before you can even ask, you see him essentially levitating up and onto the ledge above. Now that's a handy Force trick. You expect him to throw down a rope or something for you to hold onto, but instead, you're being lifted off the ground by an invisible force, as is the trooper next to you. Once you reach the top, you’re gently placed back on solid ground, while the trooper is let go far earlier, which he is unprepared for, so he falls forward and onto his knees with a grunt. But he gets back up onto his feet without complaints or remarks, simply dusting off his thighs and continuing the way back to the ship. You want to scold Cal a little for being unnecessarily mean, but the harshness still etched into his face, now stained with dry and flaky patches of blood, refrains you from making any comments.

Finally, you make it back to a place you recognise, where the ship isn’t far away. You run off first, despite your muscles screaming in pain to finally give them some rest. The cargo door is closed, and you bang your hand on it twice.

“Open up!” you order, and the ramp opens with a mechanical hiss, then gets lowered down. You quickly climb up before it even completely reaches the ground.

“Officer!” both stormtroopers exclaim in unison and in apparent relief when they see you alive and in one piece. One of them runs off to the equipment storage to get a blanket for you, and you gladly accept it. Only now do you realise how cold and stiff your whole body feels.

“Have you been intercepting the messages?” you ask, grabbing a spare holopad to log into your receiver’s software to start decrypting.

“Yes, and as you said, it’s a coded transmission made with static bursts” the first trooper explains, the one you had been on the cliff with. “I covered up the receiver with the canvas as you asked, and we’ve been monitoring it this whole time, but we didn’t know how to decrypt it without you…”

“That’s okay, that’s my job after all.” You playfully shove your elbow into his side. “I’m just glad you’re both alive.” You smile genuinely at them, and you wonder if they're smiling back at you from under their helmets as well. The Empire may think that stormtroopers are easily replaceable, but this is your squad. And you intend to take care of them.

You take a step back to take a seat and start decrypting, but your back bumps into something, or rather someone. You turn around just in time to see Cal gesture to the purge trooper, who once again merely gives a short nod, then heads to the cockpit.

“Let’s get out of here,” is the last thing you hear him say before the cockpit and cargo doors close with a hiss, and the engines start.

Cal and you just stand there for a moment, looking at each other.

“Are you going to say something?,” you go first. “Because if not, I have work to do.”

You sit down and he doesn't stop you, instead taking a seat next to you. You type away on the holopad, letter by letter, and the message starts forming. By typing with both hands you’re quicker, but the blanket keeps slipping down from your shoulders. Cal notices and picks it up, wrapping your form in it properly again, and then leaving his arm around you so it would stay there. You give him a quick ‘thanks’, but don't stop what you're doing. For a moment you wonder if you're giving him the silent treatment, and if so, why, but you really have to get this thing decrypted, so you focus on that for the time being.

At some point, Cal carefully places his head on your shoulder, and when you don't shoo him away, he properly gets comfortable. By then, you've written a program to automate the decoding. It's a bit crude and not your best, but it works. Now the decrypted message appears much faster, and it seems to be mostly correct, except for the occasional letter here and there. The message is still clear and understandable, though, and you can feel your focus and energy quickly depleting, so you decide it’s good enough for now. You set it up so that the live decryption gets sent back to HQ as your receiver feeds the rebel comms into it.

Setting down your holopad on the seat next to you with a yawn, you gently stroke Cal’s cheek.

“You awake?” you ask softly, and he hums.

“You done?” he asks back, and you hum as well.

Then you sit in silence again. The constant rumbling of the ship, combined with your adrenaline completely gone now, is all inviting you to the sweet embrace of sleep.

“We have to talk when we get back,” is the last thing you manage to mumble before drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.

— — —

You wake up to your shoulder being shaken and the repeated call of your name. Your eyes shoot open and you sit up straight, immediately slumping back down with a wince as your whole body aches, both because of the whole river action earlier, and sleeping in such a weird position.

Standing up with a grunt, you shiver as you look down at yourself: still without a jacket, your boots and trousers are stained with dirt, moss and sand. Your upper half must look even worse. Especially with the marks on your neck and who knows where else, courtesy of the inquisitor himself. So you grab the blanket and wrap it around yourself like a hooded poncho of sorts, hoping to hide most of your face and dirty clothes.

“I called earlier and they're waiting with a stretcher for you at the hangar,” Cal says as you try to hide both your head and legs, but the blanket clearly isn't big enough for that. You turn around with a raised eyebrow. “They're going to wrap you up and take you straight to medbay. So no one will see you.”

“How–”

“I may or may not have said that you might have a slight case of hypothermia.”

“We were on a planet with tropical climate,” you retort.

“I was convincing,” is all he says.

You can't question him further, as you feel the familiar sway of a landing ship. When it hits the ground with a ‘clunk’, everything happens so quickly: the cockpit and cargo doors open, and Cal suddenly picks you up bridal style. He places you onto the promised stretcher which is already waiting at the base of the ramp, and two med troopers quickly wrap you up in an emergency foil blanket. Just like that, you're taken to the medbay.

After your check-up, they tell you that other than being a little shaken and dehydrated, you're fine. You're free to stay a little longer to rest up, but you can also leave if you feel like it. And just like that, you're alone in the little room. How Cal managed to convince them to give you the private medbay room, you still don't know. But at this point, you should probably be used to it. Inquisitors seem to get almost anything they want here. Albeit at a cost.

The cot is decently comfy, and you consider staying here for a couple more hours to nap and rest up, knowing you won't be interrupted. So you get comfortable with a sigh, and just as you find a good position to sleep in, the doors open. You groan, lifting the blanket over your face.

“I thought you were asleep,” Cal says as the doors close behind him and he approaches your bed.

“I was about to be,” you reply with a sigh and fold the blanket back down to sit up properly. You're about to ask him what he wants, when you see that he’s sporting several bandages, one on his jaw, and some on his torso, visible through the white shirt he’s wearing.

“Are you okay?,” you ask and scoot over on the bed to make what little room you can spare for him to sit. However, he stays where he stands.

“Just a couple of scratches, I’ve had worse,” he replies, but it doesn’t make you feel better. “What about you?”

“Well, it’s not hypothermia,” you joke, in an attempt to ease the strange tension building between the two of you, but he doesn’t react. “I’ve basically been discharged. I was just about to nap, but… what is it?”

He looks at you as if he didn’t know what you mean. But the whole time, he’s been chewing the inside of his cheek. Clearly something is on his mind, and right now you don't have the energy to play the back and forth game.

“You want to tell me something, right? So, tell me.” You want to sound trusting, but it comes out harsher than you meant. He seems slightly taken aback.

“You said earlier you wanted to talk,” he retorts defensively. “And I understand.”

“What do you mean?”

He hesitates for a second.

“We don’t need to keep–” He looks for the right word. “–seeing each other.”

You pause for a moment, trying to dig deeper behind his words and try to get the real meaning out, but you're lost and rather shocked by his words.

“What do you mean?” you repeat yourself, alarmed.

He sighs, running his hand through his hair; he's nervous.

“I didn’t want you to see it,” he starts, avoiding looking at you. “It’s a side of me I didn't want you to see.”

“Oh,” you say, and you understand what he's getting at; the whole hunting and killing Jedi business.

“What do you mean, ‘oh’?” he asks, his eyes finding yours and narrowing them at you. “Isn’t that what you wanted to talk about?”

“I mean, we can talk about it if you want to. I–” You sheepishly fidget with your fingers on your lap. You actually wanted to talk about how he treats his purge troopers, but this is far more important, you realise. “Yeah, let’s talk about that.”

Before he can inquire what you actually meant to talk about, you gesture for him to sit next to you. He still doesn’t move.

“Please sit,” you insist, and finally, he does. With the extra weigh dipping the mattress, you kind of lean into his side. You keep talking, both of you looking ahead. “Everything I said earlier, it still stands, you know.”

He doesn’t respond, so you continue.

“About the… warmth. And you being you and still deserving it.” You gingerly place your hand over his, and he momentarily flinches, but doesn’t pull away. “I’m not stupid, Cal. I know what you do. I’ve been aware of it from the start. And I simply don’t care. It’s not like my job is any better. My work also has… certain consequences, for others. And I’ve made peace with it.”

Finally you dare look up at him, his gaze still cast down. You can feel him trembling slightly though.

“You may be an inquisitor to others, but to me you're just Cal.” You squeeze his hand, and he squeezes back. “Cal who makes pancakes with me. Cal who calls in a stretcher for me so I can save myself the embarrassment of my boss seeing me being a dirty, flustered mess. Cal who would stab someone else for looking at me the wrong way.”

He chuckles lightly at that. You reach out to cup his face, and make him look at you.

“But also the Cal who has nightmares. Cal who is sometimes scared out of his mind. Cal who asks me to stay the night because he doesn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. I want all of them.” You pause for a second, but you’re too tired to fight the question that’s been pestering your mind for ages now. “And all those versions of Cal… they give me warmth too. Right?”

His shoulders slump slightly with a sharp exhale.

“They do,” he finally answers in a voice so small you almost miss it.

“Glad we could clear that up then,” you say just as softly, and close the gap to place a kiss to his lips, and he reciprocates so tenderly, holding your face like it could crumble any moment and disappear through his fingers.

You want to pull back from the kiss, but his lips follow yours, capturing them once again. Cal climbs on top of you, pushing you back down onto the mattress.

“Don’t you want to get back to–” you try offering to move to a better location, but your words are interrupted by the squeal you let out as he pinches your side.

“We have to make up for lost time,” he states, getting back to attacking you with kisses, each one more and more ferocious.

You hear the distinct hiss of the doors opening, but Cal is quick to close them again with a quick flick of his wrist. From the other side, you can hear the nurse complaining.

“The officer is busy,” Cal calls over his shoulder, looking down at you the way a predator looks at its prey. “Come back later.”

— — —

Later that night, after a shower and slipping into your comfiest PJs, you’re both in his bed. Cal lies on his back and you have your head on his chest, drawing random figures onto his shirt.

“Are you sure about this?” Cal asks for the hundredth time.

“Yes,” you reassure him, propping yourself up on your elbow so you can place a kiss on his nose. “I’ll talk you through it. Just, try to stay in the dream. It will all work out, I promise.”

“Right,” he sighs, closing his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

You get back to cuddling into his side, and the even drumming of his heartbeat does quick work of lulling you to sleep.

It doesn’t take long, however, and you wake up to Cal twitching again. His brows are furrowed, his hands holding onto the bedsheet for dear life, and you sit up next to him, caressing his hair and holding his hand, whispering words of encouragement.

Cal is back on Bracca, collecting scraps from the same ships that he used to call home back when he was a Padawan. That seems so long ago now. Lifetimes ago. And maybe it is.

What would his younger self think of what he is now?

Cal stands at the edge of the partially stripped apart engine, impossibly small against the size of the machinery. A voice calls out to him, and he turns around. The world around him spins, turning into a blinding white, and he shields his eyes from the sudden change with his hands.

“Why are you here?” a trembling voice asks.

Cal looks up, meeting his own eyes, still a greenish blue, of his 13-year-old self. Disappointment and horror etched into his little face.

“What have you done?” another voice spits condescendingly.

Cal whips around, now looking at his master, Jaro Tapal, looking at him in disgust.

“Cal!”

He turns around again, starting to get dizzy, and his body freezes up, he can’t breathe. He’s standing at the edge of a scrapper platform now, surrounded by other people he used to know, but all their faces are blurred or scratched out. However, he can clearly see Prauf, his good friend Prauf, confronting the Second Sister. She holds her sabre at his throat, the blade sizzling in the rain. The red hue reflects in Prauf’s eyes.

Cal instinctively reaches out to his belt, expecting to find his own lightsabre, but it’s not there. He looks down at himself, and sees that he’s donning full inquisitor armour.

“Kill him,” the Second Sister orders.

Finally, Cal seems to be able to move and breathe again, and he takes a huge gulp of air.

“I said, kill him,” she repeats.

“No,” Cal says, and she slowly turns around to him.

“No?”, she chuckles, but the venom spills out of her voice like an overflowing glass of spotchka. It burns.

Suddenly, Cal is shoved in her direction against his will, and his inquisitor lightsabre appears in his hand. His arm is lifted into the air by an invisible force, about to swing down on top of Prauf’s head.

“Do it!” she yells, and Cal screams as well, trying with all his might to hold back his arm.

He hates this, he wants out. It hurts too much. The force trying to push down his arm and the sad look in his friend’s eyes tear into his heart like iron claws, shredding everything in its way.

Cal can hear the Second Sister’s voice yelling, urging him to get it done, but he hears something else too: it’s you. Your voice cuts through the cacophony of the scrapping grounds, pushing away all sounds of machinery, drills, saws, the rain itself and the inquisitor’s voice. Shoving it all aside, there’s just you.

“It’s okay, Cal,” you say, and the oppressing force on his arm is lifted with every word of yours. “I’m here, it’s okay. You’re okay. You’re not alone.”

Finally, the force is gone entirely, and he screams in both pain and relief. Cal lets go of his weapon, which retracts mid-air with a whirr, and it falls to the ground.

The world around him freezes, and everyone disappears. He’s back in the blinding white room, now in his old scrapper outfit.

“Cal,” Prauf’s voice comes from behind him, and the redhead whips around.

“My friend,” Prauf says warmly, as he always did, and stretches out his arms. A silent invitation.

Cal hesitates only for a second, then gives in. Taking the few steps that separate the two, he lets himself be embraced by the Abednedo. Unable to hold back, he cries into his friend’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps between sobs.

“It wasn’t your fault,” the older man comforts him, lightly patting Cal’s back. “It’s not your fault.”

After a few more moments, when Cal’s cries subside, he pulls back to look up at Prauf.

“Why am I here?” he asks.

Prauf smiles down at him.

“I just wanted to let you know: it’s not your fault,” he says, placing his hands on the younger man’s shoulders and giving them a squeeze. “And to say thank you, for being my friend. I hope you found your way off Bracca and can have a peaceful life. You’ve been through so much, kid.”

Cal feels another wave of tears prickling behind his eyes.

“You never really belonged on Bracca, but I’m glad I met you,” Prauf says, his voice trailing off, as if swept off by the wind, as his image also starts disappearing from in front of Cal. “I hope you found your place.”

“No, wait!” he calls, trying to hold on to him, but his hands phase through the shadow of the figure still left.

Suddenly, Cal sits up on the bed with a scream, which takes you by surprise and you flinch backwards, falling onto your hands on the bed.

He holds his shirt over his heart so tightly that his knuckles turn white, and with a broken sob, he lets himself fall back onto the bed. You hurry to scoot closer.

“You were right,” Cal says between sobs. “The Force was trying to get a message to me.”

That night, you hold him as he cries, this time not out of fear, but because he can finally allow himself to grief the loss of a friend from a long time ago.

I found my place, Prauf, Cal thinks, about to drift off to sleep after the exhaustion of crying takes over. He looks at you lying on his chest one last time, a soft smile spreading on his lips.

He hopes that some day, he’ll be able to find warmth just with you, not needing to resort to other methods ever again. And maybe then, finally, he can offer you all the warmth back that he forgot he held.

~~~~~

🐥 taglist: [link to join in my pinned post!] @dybynyght, @galaxtic-writings, @kalea-bane, @soka-writes-things, @padawancat97, @riddikulus-obsessions, @optimisticprime3, @starilicious, @ivelostmyabilitytoeven, @alternatescififandomelover, @lovelyygirl8, @cathyket

#goose feathers #cal kestis x reader #star wars cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #jedi survivor x reader #inquisitor cal x reader #inquisitor cal kestis x reader #inq!cal kestis x reader

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hrefna-the-raven · 1 year

Text

Connected through the Force

Masterlist

Words: 1826

Warnings: smut (18+), sex

Summary:

Beware of game spoilers! (sort of) This is a slightly different version of who Cal Kestis will find in the kolto tank on Koboh.

Cal paced up and down in his room in Pyloon's Saloon, his mind racing at an impossible speed in a desperate attempt to get a hold of what happened today in the chamber at the abandoned Jedi Temple. For whatever insane reasons, the Jedi of the High Republic decided to keep a Sith alive, locked up in a kolto tank in a forgotten temple. He could feel it and yet his hand reached out and touched the glass before his natural caution could prevent him. The moment his fingertips touched the cold glass, a hand from inside the tank appeared, seemingly trying to touch his and a strange connection in the Force bound him to the woman in the tank. He saw her memories, how she killed many Jedis, how she failed to proceed with killing master Khri and instead joined her and became her padawan. He even felt her internal struggle during all those years, being constantly torn between the light and the dark, never able to fully leave the dark side behind her. She committed unspeakable crimes, excelled at defying the impossible with the goodness in her tainted heart and it was all part of Cal's mind now, the images never fainting as he tried to understand it all. He could feel her rage, her love, her sadness, her raw lust, all connected to him now, entangling with his own soul, tainting his mind and plaguing it with a constant desire for this woman that he knew he should never surrender to.

You shifted restlessly as you paced back and forth in the saloon's main room. The memory of the Jedi who had freed you from the kolto tank was constantly replaying in your mind like a broken holo-recorder. His calm, measured presence had been the only thing bringing you back and anchoring you to reality as you drifted in and out of consciousness for many many years, delirious with anger and a saddening pain. But as the hours passed and the fog of your memories and emotions cleared, a strange feeling began to emerge within you. At first, you tried to ignore it, dismissing it as a side effect of the kolto treatment and the confusion caused by being trapped in it for so long, but the feeling only grew stronger and more persistent, until you could no longer deny its existence. You were in love with the Jedi. It was a ridiculous notion, of course. You once were a Sith Lord, a merciless killer who turned to the light side of the force under the guidance of master Khri, with a past like that, steeped in darkness and bloodshed, ending in the dedication to do good and abstaining from all attachments, the very notion of love or desire for him felt almost ridiculous and like a failure. He was a Jedi, a paragon of light and virtue, sworn to uphold the peace and protect the innocent. Despite your will to do good, the two of you were as different as night and day, and yet, the force had connected you in a way that defied all logic. It was maddening, this attraction that had taken hold of you. It consumed your thoughts, your dreams, your every waking moment. The mere thought of him finally touching you without the restraint of a glass wall sent sparks coursing through your whole body, igniting a desire that you had never known before. You stormed off downstairs and entered his room, stopping just a step in front of him, your finger dangerously poking at his chest.

"Cal we-"

"need to talk!", he interrupted you, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, rimpling the fabric of tunic as he held your hand up.

"I've been a Jedi, trying to good all those years under the guidance of master Khri", you exclaimed, trying to mask the rising anger in your voice, "so stop messing with my mind, get out of there!"

"You've been the one trying to invade my mind with your twisted games, Sith!", Cal huffed, his grip tightening.

"I have not!", your eyes wandered to his lips, lingering as you tried to ignore the rising heat in your core.

A nervous but delightful wave of desire washed over Cal's entire body. The way your eyes darted between his and his mouth kindled a fire within him that he never felt before. He was no stranger to desire but until now, he was always confident and strong enough to not fall for any temptation but, for the first time in his entire life, he felt his resistance faltering. Your presence rendered him weak and it felt too good to fight it.

"The force", you mumbled in a low voice.

"You felt the connection too?", Cal asked hesitantly.

You nodded, unable even form a simple yes as you slowly surrendered to the pull towards the Jedi. Cal seemed to feel the same as he suddenly pulled you closer, your body pressing on his as his lips crashed on yours, one hand still holding your wrist as the other snuck around your waist holding you trapped on him as you both lost yourselves in the heated kiss. Cal was the first to break the kiss, both of you panting. The space between you felt heavy, still holding you close, Cal felt the unspoken desire absorbing every inch of his body and mind. He was always taught to trust in the force, not opposing but letting himself guide through its will and he was determined to be guided again this time, there had to be a good reason for all of this and he craved to solve the mystery but right now, he needed to give in, he needed to connect with you, not just through the force but also physically, he wanted to merge with you. Your heart raced almost painfully as you were unable to avert your gaze from Cal. The glow of his copper hair, his deep emerald eyes, chiming perfectly with his pale skin, took your breath away. Your free hand moved to his heaving chest and you slowly let the force seeping through, pushing Cal towards the bed. In a split second you were upon him, straddling him as your hands lifted his shirt over his head.

"You're tempting me, Sith", Cal breathed, his voice raspy and oozing with desire.

"I'm not a Sith, Jedi", you whispered, grinding your hips on him.

A dark groan escaped Cal's throat as his fingers dug into the soft skin of your hips. You felt the bulge forming in his pants as you kept on rubbing against him, barely able to restrain yourself from moaning loudly. You could feel your wetness polling between your legs, pressing your hips harder on him in a desperate attempt to gain more friction. In a swift sudden movement Cal flips you over, your back hitting the mattress, one hand pressed on your stomach to keep you in place while his other hand ripped your pants off, tearing the fabric in the process as it fell down in pieces to the ground. His head pushed your legs apart, his soft hair tingling the skin on the inside of your thighs, as he ran his tongue along your wet folds, earning a lustful moan from you.

"I want you", Cal whispered, your name leaving his lips in a husky breath.

You spread your legs further, your hand resting on his on your stomach, your head falling back, eyes shutting tight as the feeling of his finger suddenly entering you. Your walls tightened around his finger as he keeps thrusting into you at a slow pace.

"Cal", you moaned, "I need-"

"More", he interrupted you, his eyes fixed on your beautiful frame drowning in the pleasure he provided.

The jedi unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down, his hard member twitching as he moved the tip of it to your entrance. Your hips bucked against him, trying to feel more of him and groaned frustrated as his tight hold on your stomach held you in place.

"Are...", Cal hesitated for a second, unsure if such a question should even be asked by someone like him, "are you sure? Of this?"

"We're already connected", you answered, your voice almost silent but filled with confidence, "trust in the will of the force, Cal. I...I want...need you Cal", you moaned softly.

Cal shoved himself inside you, both of his hands moving to your hips and pulling you closer. The sudden wave of pleasure rushed your entire being as he filled you and sinful moans escaped your lips. Cal mewled your name like a prayer as he kept pounding into you, slowly at first but as the passion pushed him closer to the edge, conquering every part of his mind, he picked up the pace, thrusting in and out with all the force his body could bring up. You set his entire being ablaze, whatever resolution he once held dear drowning in the raging sea of lust. He wanted to feel bad, wanted to turn this into a mistake he could get over but it was impossible. The force had bound him to you and no matter what the order once taught him, merging his soul and body with you were all that mattered now, nothing ever felt this right. The lewd sounds of your bodies slapping unto each other as Cal kept pounding you entangling with his groans and your salacious whines pushed both of you over the edge, waves of ecstatic bliss washing over you as Cal filled you up, your walls clenching around his throbbing cock. Cal's body collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily as his dick was still buried in your dripping hole. Your hand found its way to Cal's head, your fingers brushing softly through his hair, your chest heaving in a silent chuckle.

"What?", Cal lifted his head, a pair of content eyes staring at you.

"I never thought that", your hands moved around, gesturing wildly at you and him,"this would ever happen to me."

This was the first time that you witnessed the red-haired jedi smile. The corners of his mouth moved into a genuinely happy grin, his eyes radiating a contagious happiness, warming your heart as all the sadness and anger of the last years washed away. Whatever your destiny was, whatever the force had planned for you, in this very moment the warmth of the certainty of what you felt for Cal spread through every fiber of you and you knew that, despite still suffering from all your past mistakes, if they had lead up to this, to having Cal in your life, deeply connected to you, made you feel perfectly worthy for the first time since you became a jedi and you were confident to head on with your life, helping Cal in his quest to help fight against the Empire and save others like you.

#cal kestis #jedi survivor #star wars jedi: survivor #cal kestis jedi survivor #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you #cal kestis x female reader #reader insert #x reader #female reader #star wars #jedi #sith #the force #smut #star wars smut #jedi x reader

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merrysithmas · 2 years

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masculinity in star wars

you know, after some great posts by the brilliant @intermundia my mind has been going. something i've long thought, and something they recently put into very beautiful words, is how one of the central themes of star wars, and why so many nonbinary/queer/trans/masc people gravitate towards it, is masculinity.

i'd even argue it is THE central theme (even beyond the concepts of Spiritual Balance & Good vs Evil), which explains the phenomenon of cismen being so violently gatekeeping and protective of it.

we all know when sw was released in the 70s the emotional arc at its core revolved around the concept of Father and Son, the forgiveness, redemption, or blame therein.

it is easy to see why Luke Skywalker, noble, innocent, and nontoxically pursuing a masculine concept of "knightship" (while retaining feminine qualities himself which would prohibit him from fitting in with the imperials) would become a hero to many young cis boys who had overbearing, unrelatable, absent, or downright evil fathers. it is easy to see why obiwan, the wise and protective second-father figure would become their beloved guru.

it is also easy to see, of course, the reverse, wherein many men who feel they failed at fatherhood, partnership, and life, would relate to Vader and the salvaging love he had for his son. the possibility that they were not totally consumed and digested by the toxic masculinity that had conscripted them and of which they then became soldiers of - an Empire.

the question SW asks in almost every film to this date is - what is masculinity? where does it come from? how do we define it? what do we do with it? and how do we balance it?

we see this reflected over and over again - Din Djarin with Grogu, the Bad Batch with Omega, Palpatine/Qui gon with Anakin, Obi-wan with the Skywalker twins, Rey's unrelenting search for a father figure in Luke, Kylo Ren and his burning abandonment in front of the absent Han Solo, Yoda and his Order, Cassian Andor and the powerless castration he experiences via the Empire, the HyperMasculine Empire, the warsome Mandalore vs. the pacifist Satine Kryze, Cal Kestis & his success borne of his crew of resourceful women.

Characters who are presented as male are constantly being challenged by ideas of masculinity and by which route they will choose to express it.

what does it mean to be a "man"? a question queer, trans, and masc people often ask themselves in relation to our identities. and a question we see the SW characters face constantly. is it sacrifice (Anakin)? protectiveness (Din)? bravery (Luke)? resilience (Obi-wan)? taking up arms when you are wronged (Cassian)? vengeance and blazing your own way (Vader)? Kindness and vulnerability (Cal)?

of course, this concept of masculinity in SW as a central theme also extends to its female characters and what it means to have female masculinity of any kind especially within a patriarchy or a situation where masculinity can be translated into a threat (to anyone, including oneself). this is another reason, id argue, for uproar in the cismale sector of the fandom when they are faced with a topic (female & queer masculinity) that they neither experience nor understand and see therefore, as a threat.

characters like leia, rey, jyn, reva all display various components of outright female masculinity and/or display a picture of women grappling with the masculinity around them, which i would postulate is what makes them so iconically and instantly popular. they are allowed to be whole on screen. they are not merely a "feminine" archetype. they are whole - masculine, feminine, passive, and aggressive.

Leia with her commanding military presence is never once questioned. She then becomes a mother who grapples with the duties of traditional motherhood while following a path that is most meaningful for her (the Rebellion).

Jyn, the abandoned streetrat rebel who is allowed to be callous, doubtful, unpreened, and cynical. Whose strength of heart eventually pulls a motley crew together.

Rey, a sexless scrapper whose skills come from self-reliance, who is pushed face to face with someone who repulses her - Kylo Ren with his burning crucifix of a saber, who haughtily croons to her that he can take "whatever he wants" from her. She pushes him away, rejects him continually, until he renounces the toxicity of his confused perspective (brought on by his own torture). Only to in the end embrace Ben, the good man who'd die for her to live: as she embodied the principles that he failed.

Reva, a hardened and traumatized covert soldier who gives in and then climbs out of the charybdis of vengeance and spiritual suffering. who mistrusts and is disgusted by the men who were supposed to protect her family (Obi-wan and Anakin). we rarely get to see this rage and pain from a female character on screen.

as queer people of course we see ourselves in between those philosophical questions and identify with various characters and their struggles. we are always presented with these internal questions of what makes an identity and confronted with our own society's labels of "masculine" and "feminine" and how they relate to our place as queer people.

& of course, "canon" doesn't truly exist in the sense of a character's gender or sexuality - a character's orientation and identity is up to the viewer- and with complex questions of identity already at play in this universe it is easy to see oneself as a queer person within this story.

and then of course, we are now starting to see characters like Merrin, Obi-wan, and others' sexualities expanded upon further than the "assumed cishet" brand usually defaulted by the general audience.

so those are some futher, not-totally developed thoughts on the topic here haha

#just thoughts #star wars #sw meta #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #luke skywalker #leia organa #din djarin #cassian andor #cal kestis #rey skywalker #reva sevander #jyn erso #han solo #kylo ren

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feyre-darling92 · 1 year

Text

Can’t lose you

A/N: Hello, everyone! Hope you’re alright. I just finished playing Jedi:Fallen Order and I am very slightly obsessed with it, so here’s a Cal Kestis x reader one-shot.

T/W: Bad writing, angst, injuries, blood, some swear words, let me know if I missed anything.

Word Count: 694

Synopsis: After a close call you realize that you can’t lose him

“Cal. Cal!” you screamed as you blocked incoming shots from hitting you.

Cal was hit and had fallen to the ground without answering your calls, making your heart stop.

“Cal!” you ran to him and shook his shoulder in a pathetic try to wake him up, “Open your eyes, Cal” you brought your hand to his cheek, “Please”

You again received no response and the sharp pain on your shoulder from a blaster shot reminded you that there were still stormtroopers around you.

Standing protectively in front of him you ignited your lightsaber and started deflecting shots and killing them one by one.

However, you missed some shots resulting in wounds and grazes and an unexpected hit on the head from a purge trooper.

Having fallen to the ground was anything but pleasant but you managed to make your way to him by crawling and dragging yourself.

“BD” you called for the droid which immediately appeared on sight, “Is he ok?”

“Boop-beep bep”

“That’s good I guess” you sighed in relief and glanced at him, “How many healing stems do you have?”

“Boop beep-boop”

“Give me both” you extended your arm and the droid beeped in concern, “I’ll be fine, BD. Cal needs them more”

Unconvinced from your words he gave you the stems and you injected them into Cal.

His name left your lips as softly as a prayer and this time it got answered because he slowly opened his eyes, his confused stare meeting your worried one.

“What happened?” he looked around.

“You’re hurt. Do you think you can walk till Mantis?” you helped him stand up and he supported his weight on you.

“I will try” he murmured but before you could make a proper step forward he fell again half-conscious.

“Please, Cal, help me get you there” you begged him and he did his best to stand up again.

Your own wounds made the whole thing harder but at this point, you didn’t care. Because you couldn’t lose him.

When you finally made it to the ship a blaster shot passed right on top of your head.

“Fuck” you whispered to yourself, “Greez! Cere!”

The ramp opened and you both ran inside, imperial troopers trying to hit you, unsuccessfully.

“What happened?” Cere and Merrin ran to help you, taking Cal off you.

His absence made you lose your balance and you fell to the ground, trying to catch your breath.

“Cal-” you tried to speak, “Please, help him”

Merrin took him inside and Cere kneeled in front of you. Before you could realize it you had become a sobbing mess, hands around your knees and head hanging low.

“Hey, Y/N. Breathe” Cere put a comforting hand on your shoulder, “You’re alright now”

“No, no, I almost lost him and it was all my fault”

“You saved him” you looked at her, “Now, let me help you up”

With her help, you stood up but midway to the couch you felt lightheaded and your legs gave up.

“Merrin!” you heard her yell but it was too late. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You slowly opened your eyes, eyelids feeling heavy.

The first thing you noticed was that you were on your small bed, the pain however struck you with the smallest movement you did.

“Take it easy” a familiar voice sounded from your side and you turned to face him.

“Cal” you breathed relieved that you saw him alive and in one piece and tried to sit up. He rushed to help you and once you were comfortable enough he sat on your bed.

“How are you?” you asked.

“I am fine. Thanks to you. And Merrin” he took your hand in his “Thank you”

“I couldn’t lose you” you replied shyly, not daring to look at him.

“I can’t either, but I almost did. Don’t do anything reckless again”

“I won’t, I promise”

He gently lifted your chin so he could look into your eyes and gently kissed you.

You were surprised but you then brought your hand to the back of his neck and deepened the kiss.

“Better?” he smirked when you pulled away, breathless.

“Of course” you kissed him again.

#cal kestis x reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #starwars fanfic #feyre darling92 #feyre-darling92

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a-random-pillow · 2 years

Note

How does Anakin take finding out Ezra is going to be a part of Shatterpoint Lineage and getting spoiled by Masters Windu, Billaba and his future Master Caleb? Is Anakin trying to find someone else like Yoda, Obi Wan, or Ahsoka or is Mace Windu staring Anakin in the eyes, holding Ezra, and saying “Dibs” on Caleb’s behalf?

Thanks for the Ask! This is a fun one

It takes a while for Anakin to figure it out, he first starts to suspect something when he finds out Billaba and Celeb came to visit Ezra. He had been doing Jedi stuff while Padme was working so Obi-Wan was baby sitting (They had played Tea Party with the triplets). Jedi coming to visit the triplets wasn't that weird but it was normally only Padawans.

The next time happens when Anakin is practicing his saber skills. The triplets wander in and start trying to copy him. Leia is the best at copying him while Luke kinda dose his own thing but Ezra isn't trying to copy him. The blue-haired child is going through basics forms of a vaguely familiar Saber Style but Anakin can't put his finger on it.

By this time Obi-Wan has figured out Ezra is destined for the Shatter Point Lineage, Obi-Wan would have liked to take a triplet was Padawan but he his busy with Reva and refuses to let her go unless she is definitely 100% ready.

Mace has been hiding this form Yoda this whole time since if he finds out Mace allowed one Skywalker into his Linage he will try to shaft him with as many as possible. Mace won't mind working with Luke he seems like a total sweet heart but Leia scares.

Anakin only finds out a few weeks before the triplets gradate from the Kresh and that's only because Mace comes to talk to him.

"Skywalker I know you and me haven't always gotten along but I want to thank you for being so civil about Ezra joining my Linage"

"HE'S WHAT?!?!"

Anakin who can figure out what is wrong with a ship based on sound along, did not catch the many hints that Ezra had already chosen a master.

For the next week he is running around the temple trying to find another master for Ezra.

Obi-Wan? Sorry busy raising Reva

Ashoka? Anakin I have been hunting Maul for the past two years, do you really want Ezra to get involved with that?

Yoda? Is two old and also he doesn't want Ezra to drink that soup more then necessary. Anakin is evil

Plo Koon? He would love another child but he is taking Leia as his Padwan

Cal Kestis? Not that Jedi, he is to busy being Tomb Raider

Trilla Suduri? Already Mastering Luke

Anakin the son of the force, chosen one, sith slayer and pod racer cannot find a another master of Ezra.

After his blue baby boy joins Mace's Linage Anakin finds out this was not as bad as he thought it would be. The whole linage is kind and spoils Ezra with training and gifts. Anakin was worried they would be cold like Mace but he was wrong.

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subtle-like-a-brick-to-the-face · 3 years

Photo

I’m falling down the BDL hole and I can never leave my boy Cal out of anything so yeah, OT4. Also, major role reversal AU cause why not! Little ficlet below the cut. I put a lot of more thought into this au and now I have way too much world building and background for something I’ll probably never touch again.

They all have their own scars.

Boba and Kestis are unapologetic of theirs, open and bared to the world in a dare for anyone to make a comment. Kestis' compliment his tattoos in Boba's opinion, elegant and proof of a hard-won life unlike the ugly, roping tangles of Boba's own. The mandalorian had once told him that in his culture, scars were the epitome of beauty, of skill, of sexuality. Kestis' gaze had been burning and steady and he'd held Boba's eyes until the Jedi turned away first with a quiet scoff.

Skywalker doesn't hide his scars, but he doesn't flaunt them either. Tall, stiff collars and capes wrapped around his neck as the ends of his hair curl across his jaw, letting his net of pale scars peek out like a secret. Boba watches him interact with others of the galaxy and barely paying his scars any attention, as if he forgets they exist entirely and then Kestis will walk by and Skywalker changes. He leads with his left when he turns, curls of hair tucked back behind his ear in a shy gesture and a little smile even as he rattles off battle tactics. He's the higher rank of the two warriors, of all four of their group in truth, but when he stands before Kestis he's straight backed, chin tilted just so to the right, like he's got something to prove, like he wants this man to see him.

Djarin is a temple guard, so the fact that they know his name at all is a miracle and a blatant breach in protocol on a whole other level without even being able to know what he looks like underneath. He's at least near-human from what little he's let slip of his biology; heart placement, number of lungs, etc. Boba suspects he has his own scars, carefully hidden away for how his hands feel through his guard gloves. Strong hands, big and firm just like the rest of the man, a model temple guard, a pillar of strength and safety for all jedi to see. Boba wonders on Djarin sometimes, but never pushes. Whatever happens, happens, after all.

Eventually, they all find out about the temple guard's scars underneath his clothes, the stubble on his jaw, the colour of his soft eyes as he blushes and looks away. They all learn how far down Luke's scars go as they peel open his shirt and lay hands across his chest. They learn the feel of Cal's scarred lips against their own, the electric taste of his tattoos. Eventually they show Boba that his body is more than just a vessel, more than just a burden to be born. They teach him just how beautiful he is too.

#star wars au #role reversal au #star wars fanart #jedi din djarin #jedi boba fett #mandalorian luke skywalker #mandalorian cal kestis

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rainydaydream-gal18 · 3 years

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Cal Kestis x Reader (Continued 4) The Proposal

OG Request: can i request that you write some cal kestis since you haven't written him in so long? how about one where the whole mantis crew helps him propose to the reader? it can even be like a part 4 to the "training" series lol

Author’s Note: I am SO sorry at how long this took me to post. I got hit with writer’s block so bad, and this week, I ended up getting sick. It’s been tough to find time and energy to write, but again, I am sorry at how long it was. I do hope you enjoy it!!!

"I've never seen you like this," Greez commented, lifting a brow skeptically. He planted his hands on his hips as he watched Cal make a cup of caf. It was a task the young jedi had done many times without fail since he was the definition of balance, but somehow, he had managed to spill his cup on the counter.

Cal lifted his brows only slightly as he tried to act casual. “What do you mean?”

“What’s got you so worked up?” Greez asked. “You seem off...Not quite sure what it is…”

Years of training had given Cal Kestis the ability to hide. He’d hidden from the Empire for so long on Bracca. He had concealed his identity without issue until that fateful day when he rescued his coworker and friend- an event that began quite the adventure. Still, even so, he hadn’t been able to conceal his nervousness from the Mantis pilot. His gaze flickered to Cere, who was quietly sipping her own cup of caf from the dining booth.

Her amusement at the interaction was palpable. Cal could see the slightest smile on her lips which she hid behind her mug as she took another sip, eyes trained to the table in front of her.

What would she say if she knew the truth? Would she be so amused? As worried as Cal was that his mentor would disapprove of his choice, he was running out of time. This wasn’t something he could conceal.

“The truth is…” he paused, running a hand through his orange hair.

“What?” Greez prompted. “What is it?”

“I’m…”

Cere lowered her cup, the soft clink of the material against the table catching Cal’s attention. “You’re going to propose to _________.”

Cal gazed at her, lips parting in surprise.

“Very perceptive of you, Greez,” she continued, eyes flicking to the pilot. “To have caught that something was going on with our Cal. However-” she met Cal’s gaze coolly “-the nervous excitement was coming off him in waves.”

Cal exhaled, shoulders lowering as he braced himself for some sort of sagely warning about the path he was choosing, but Cere merely smiled.

Greez's jaw dropped straight to the floor. "You...you what?" He chuckled quietly at first before bursting into joyful laughter as he approached Cal. “Congratulations, kid!”

He smiled appreciatively at the support, but shook his head. “She hasn’t said ‘yes’ yet.”

Greez shifted his stance, resting a hand on his hip. "What, you think she'll say 'no'?"

“Yes, I mean...no...We’ve talked about it, but I just don't know how to do it.”

Cere surprised him further by rising from the booth. “Need some help?”

He tilted his head. “You’d do that? But I thought…”

“The order is gone, Cal,” she replied. “As members of this crew, we’ve already done some things the Council would have disapproved of. I think after all these years of sorrow, a little joy is something we need.”

Cal nodded. “Thank you.”

“So wait,” Greez shook his head. “You want our advice? On how to propose? A former monk and a lonely pilot...what could go wrong?”

- - - -

“Hey there, uh, kid.”

You smiled, dabbing at a few beads of sweat that glistened on your forehead. “Hey, Greez. How’s it going?” You gave your arms a little stretch, holding back the groan that threatened to spill from your lips at the dull ache. Cal had assigned you to an arduous training session all afternoon. It was unexpected, but you were up to the challenge. Upon returning to the Mantis, you found no sign of your boyfriend, or Cere for that matter.

There was only Greez, who averted his gaze nervously. You got the distinct feeling that he was hiding something. Something big.

“Everything alright?” you asked, testing the waters.

“Alright? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Everything’s alright. Why wouldn’t it be? Is everything alright with you?”

You fought a smile as he fumbled his way through the somewhat defensive response. “Yeah, I’m done with training for the day. I’m just looking for Cal, actually. Have you seen him?”

“Yes, I mean, no...I may have seen him… He went somewhere.”

“He did? Did he say where?”

Greez fell silent then, and you raised your brows incredulously at him. The stubborn pilot wasn’t going to talk. Your suspicion grew, especially when his nerves seemed to spike even more. With a shrug, you headed back toward your bunk. Cere wasn’t anywhere to be found either.

What if there was a new development with the jedi order? Even though the holocron containing the location of force-sensitives across the galaxy had been taken care of, the Mantis crew had not lost hope that someday the jedi would return. Perhaps something had come up. Still, you weren’t sure why that would mean that both he and Cere would need to discuss it elsewhere. It wasn’t like Greez couldn’t be trusted. Or you.

As you changed out of your training clothes, your hand brushed over the hilt of your lightsaber. You gripped the handle and removed it from your belt before doing so with the second saber you had constructed some time ago. The weight in your hands no longer felt foreign and unsettling. The sabers had become part of you. They were not just weapons; they were tools. They were tools to defend those you loved and to usher in peace when the time was right.

You set them down and continued changing into your gear.

For years, you’d heard stories of the jedi old. You’d never imagined becoming one. You’d never imagined to have a mentor as young and handsome as Cal. And you certainly never imagined falling in love the way you did.

The thought was bittersweet. You mourned for Cal and all that he had lost, but you were so glad to have found him. He was glad to have found you too. You could feel it every single day.

A knock on the door to your quarters pulled you from thought. “Yes?”

“Hey,” Greez said, poking his head in. “He’s waiting for you.”

“He’s...waiting for me?” You watched as he disappeared from the doorway before shaking your head. “This day just gets weirder.”

- - - -

Greez had followed you off the ship and stayed close behind as you picked up on Cal’s trail. He insisted that he was not supposed to give you any hints- only that you were supposed to reach out with your feelings and find Cal on your own.

“Is this some sort of training exercise?” you wondered aloud. “Because I already finished training for the day.”

“Sorry, kid,” Greez shrugged. “It’s not for me to say.”

“But of course.” You smirked. “It’s never that simple.” You let your eyes slide shut as you reached out with your other senses. You took a deep breath, inhaling the lovely scents of the forest- leafy greens and even something sweet, like blossoms. There was a damp feel to the soil beneath your shoes. More clearly than the other things you felt, you sensed the familiar presence of Cal. He was nearby.

As soon as you began walking in that direction, Greez uttered a “woah.”

You paused, glancing at him over your shoulder. “What?”

“You jedi never cease to fascinate me,” he said. “You know where he is without even a hint.”

“It’s automatic at this point.”

“So, you...you two really love each other, huh?” he ventured.

You smiled and uttered a quiet, “yeah.”

The two of you walked through the forest. A familiar tingle in your feelings let you know that someone was just ahead. It was Cere. You’d recognize that presence anywhere after traveling with her for so long. She sat in the center of a small clearing, legs crossed and eyes shut.

“This is a training exercise, isn’t it?” you whispered under your breath at the sight.

Cere’s eyes opened, and her lips turned up in a smirk. “Cal’s waiting for you.”

“So I hear.” You wanted to shake your head in amusement, but if it was indeed a surprise training session, Cere was acting as a mentor, so you instead gave her a nod of respect. “Is there anything...Is there...What is my task?”

“That is something you will have to find out yourself. I wish you luck.” And with that, Cere rose from her seated position and gave you a nod before stepping aside. Greez stole a look and shrugged, immediately going to join her.

All the while a strange anticipation was growing in you. Part of it was curiosity on you part for this next step in your training, and part of it you chalked up to be Cal’s emotions mingling with yours. Even though you had no idea what was going on and why, something about the situation made you feel exhilarated. Like something amazing was about to happen.

You continued on your way, shooting your teammates one last curious look before vanishing farther into the forest. The tingling feeling changed. It was soon the distinct feeling that you got whenever Cal was nearby. You knew it before you saw him that he sensed your approach, but when you finally stepped into the clearing where he was waiting, you weren’t expecting the sudden drop of his heart. It was so sudden that you halted for a moment, thrown off by the swift shift in emotion. Nervousness. What did he have to be nervous about? You were the one being tested!

“Cal?” you ventured.

“___________,” he breathed out. It was like he struggled to breathe for a moment. You’d never seen him this way before.

“Is everything alright?” you asked, voice ticked up with concern.

“Ah, yeah,” He nodded, glancing down for a moment. “____________, I need to ask you something.”

As soon as he said that, your own heart dropped. It was nervousness at what you suspected was coming next, but it was a good nervousness. You immediately shifted, hands going over your heart as Cal walked over to you. There was a small part of you screaming to not give into the hope, just in case it wasn’t what you thought. Before the seeds of doubt could take root, Cal got down on one knee in front of you.

Bright afternoon sunlight poured in through the treetops, dancing along his skin with each gust of wind that shook the branches above. His eyes were fixed on you, glinting with a light you’d seen in him many times when he looked at you. It was love. Adoration.

“_____________,” he said, gently twining his fingers with those of your left hand. “I love you. As a jedi, I never thought I’d be able to go down this path….but here I am, and I’m so glad that I can. You’re the only one I’d want to go with.”

“Cal….” you murmured.

“Will you marry me?”

Even though you’d realized the words were coming, they still hit hard. Your vision blurred with tears as the emotions welled up within you. “Yes, I will. I love you, Cal.” And you pulled your hand from his only to wrap both your arms around his neck and plant a loving kiss to his lips.

Cal kissed you back passionately, leaving you with one last peck before he pulled away to take your hand again. His eyes darted up to meet yours before they focused on your finger as he slipped a ring on. Your tears hadn’t stopped.

“Cal, I’m so happy.” Then, a chuckle escaped your lips as you wiped your eyes. “I was wondering what all this was about. I thought it was a training exercise.”

“That was the idea,” he said with the shake of his head. “We thought it’d be more of a surprise that way.”

“‘We’?”

“Cere and Greez helped me out. I knew I wanted to put this ring on your finger, but I wasn’t quite sure how.”

“Thank you,” you called over your shoulder, and you were amused when Cere and Greez emerged from the brush. “Really, this was a lovely surprise.”

“I’m glad you thought so,” Greez said, clasping his hands together. He glanced between the two of you curiously. “So, when’s the wedding?”

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis reader insert #cal kestis fanfiction #cal kestis x you #cal kestis imagine #cal kestis x y/n #greez #cere

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buyca-kovid · 3 years

Text

Warming Up

Pairing: Cal Kestis x gn!reader

Warnings/Tags: tooth rotting fluff, slight mutual pining, too much cheesiness to be realistic, possibly inaccurate info on Bogano’s seasons, Greez makes an appearance, too much softness for cal on my part

Authors Note: This is the Star Wars Secret Santa gift for @ahsokatano-thetogruta! Hope you enjoy it! Also, to anyone reading, I’m new at posting fanfic so if I missed any warnings/tags in the fic, feel free to let me know!

———————————————————

A shiver tears through you for what felt like the thousandth time in the last hour. You didn’t realize that Bogano has such cold winters, and the fact that the Mantis’s heating system was down wasn’t helping. Even with the “warm” clothes you have on, you’re freezing. You decide to distract yourself by grabbing something to drink. Maybe the caf you had made earlier (when the heat was working) was still at least lukewarm?

Stepping away from the holotable and towards the kitchenette, you pass Cal knelt over an opened panel trying to fix the heating, Greez hovering near him.

“It’s usually an easy fix, I’m not sure what’s wrong this time!” He exclaims through chattering teeth. Cal keeps fiddling with the various colored wires, checking for breaks and making sure he doesn’t accidentally snap a wire from how cold the metal had become.

“I can’t tell either, everything seems fine here,” Cal replies. As you sip your (cold) caf, your gaze falls to him hunched over the mess of wires. You notice a few strands of his hair out of place because he’s so leaned over, his cheeks have a dusting of rose, and his lips somehow aren’t chapped from the cold, every breath leaving them as a cloud.

Maker, how is he so pretty?

You shake yourself out of your mini trance, set your cup of caf down and walk over to them.

“Can I see?” You ask as you lean over Cal’s left shoulder. He shifts so you can kneel down next to him, and you have to resist the urge to lean into him because of the slight warmth. You start moving the wires around and soon notice that one had snapped after all.

“The cold must be getting to you two too much,” you say jokingly as you hold the two ends of the broken wire toward them and start to reconnect them. Looking for something to cover the live metal, you notice that Cal has the electrical tape in his pocket, and without thinking you reach into his pocket and grab it yourself, grazing his leg in the process. You didn’t notice him tense up at the casual gesture, his heart picking up speed for a split second. You were too focused on taping up the wire.

“There, all fixed. Now we won’t freeze to death,” you say as lightheartedly as you can. Cal is too focused on your hand holding the tape to say anything, and Greez snaps him out of his thoughts:

“Thanks! I don’t know how I managed to miss that... But we’re not done yet. It’s gonna take a few hours for the heater to get going since it’s basically frozen.”

You let out a soft groan at that, realizing you’re going to have to fall asleep somehow in this cold.

“At least it’s working now,” Cal shrugs after a beat. You give him a soft smile before a shiver and a yawn go through you simultaneously.

“It’s getting late, I’m gonna try and sleep.” you say, standing up from your spot.

“I should too,” Cal says hesitatingly.

You both head to the quarters you had to share (since the ship was small). Neither of you seemed to mind though, you still had your own beds, so what more could you need?

Cal lets you enter first before closing the door behind him, and you two slowly climb into your beds, saying your good nights before turning the light off.

You can’t stop shivering. Now that the sun had completely set, it had gotten even colder and no matter how wrapped up in your blanket you were, you couldn’t seem to warm up.

“You okay?” You hear Cal ask quietly from his bunk.

“Could be better, honestly. You’re not cold?”

“I am.”

Then you both lay in silence for a moment.

“I think I’ve got an idea if you’re okay with it,” Cal says carefully.

“Hm? What’s that?”

Cal gets up from his bunk and stretches out his hand to you. You take it to get up and he pulls you to the end of the room and turns you toward his workbench. You let out a quick shiver, then feel a blanket drape over your shoulders. Except it’s not a blanket, it’s the poncho Cal was wearing. You feel a tiny bit of warmth for the first time tonight, and the smell of the soap Cal uses fills your senses. His hands linger over your shoulders after he lets go of the poncho, and you push away the desire to take them in your own.

“Thanks Cal,” you say, crossing your arms under the poncho.

“Don’t look till I say, okay?” He asks.

“Okay... what are you doing anyway?”

“You’ll see.” You can hear the smile in his voice as he walks back over to the bunks, but you also hear a tinge of nervousness. What was he about to do? You hear the rustling of the mattresses and blankets, then he taps your shoulder and you turn around.

He had spread both of your thin mattresses on the ground and layered all the blankets and pillows you two had on top of them. You look over to him and he has a nervous, boyish smile on his face. A smile spreads across your face too as you look back at the new bed.

“If this is okay, now we’ll be able to warm each other up. But if you’re not comfortable with it I ca-“

You cut him off with a kiss to his cheek. His face flushes even redder than it had from the cold. You take his hand and pull him to the bed, both your hearts pounding now. As you lay down, you stretch your arms out to him and he excitedly lays down next to you, you both immediately tangling together under the blankets.

You can’t help but giggle as you both wrap your arms around each other, your bodies closer than they had ever been. You’re finally starting to warm up. You bury your head under his chin and he pulls you as close as possible by the waist and runs a hand through your hair. Cal lets out a sigh of relief he didn’t even realize he was holding in, and you move to look at him, your faces only inches away from each other.

“This is perfect,” you say slowly.

“So are you,” Cal says without even thinking. Your stomach flips and you don’t hesitate to close the gap between you two. You can feel his heart pounding as he kisses you back, and you can’t help but grin into the kiss. You feel a whole new warmth spread through you, one that you want to feel forever now that you’ve gotten a taste. When you finally pull away, Cal rests his forehead on yours, looking into your eyes.

“...’So are you’?” you ask sarcastically.

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Cal retorts with a grin on his face.

You can’t help the grin that spreads on your face as you kiss him again, feeling that warmth again and not caring if the heater starts working. You didn’t need it anymore.

#star wars secret santa 2020 #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis rec #arden’s writing #ahsokatano-thetogruta #star wars x reader #cal kestis x you #cal kestis x gn!reader #star wars x you #star wars x gn!reader #cal kestis fanfic #jedi fallen order #jedi fallen order fanfic #hope you like it!#also it's not late i swear

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Text

Step Into The Daylight - Part 11

Summary: Cal Kestis offers some more insight into who your mysterious son is.

A/N: Thank you guys for being so, so patient and still being excited for me to update. I feel like my Din muse has returned and I hope you enjoy! Taglists are open, and as always feedback is welcome! xx

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: spoilers for up to s2, e5

SERIES MASTERLIST

MANDALORIAN MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Oh," your heart fell as you looked down at the little one sitting on the floor and cooing happily. He looked between the between you and Din before turning his gaze back to Cal, and the figures behind "is there...do you know anything about him? I don't know how...I'm still learning how to properly wield the force and I can't..."

"Yes," he said as he gently held out his hand to the little. You felt Din tense slightly at your side and gently put your hand on top of his, giving him a gentle squeeze, "come here, little one."

The child slowly clambered up, grabbing one of Cal's fingers and letting the Jedi pick him up. He cooed quietly as a wave of emotions splashed over Cal's face. You wondered if this was hard for him, if it reminded him of the mysterious Master Yoda, if it reminded him of the days before he, like so many others, lost everything.

"We'll go," you offered quietly as you motioned for Din and the others to follow you, along with Jeele. Din stiffened at first but didn't question your judgment and then followed after you.

You settled back down in the kitchen, the six of silent as you let a long huff of air.

“Where are my manners,” you shifted next to Din and studied each of the new figures in turn. There was another woman, older in appearance with warm, dark skin and a kind face, a younger woman covered in tattoo-like markings and white blonde hair, as well as a smaller figure that you recognized as a Latero. You offered them your name before turning to your Mandalorian, “this is Mando and I believe you’ve met Jeele already.”

“Cere Junda,” the older woman stuck out her hand and gave you and a firm handshake, “this is Merrin and Greeze. We work with Cal; you just be the mysterious Jedi.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever qualify to have that title,” you admitted, “not since the order is all but gone. But...you are. I can feel it - the force is strong with you.”

“It once was,” she confessed as a tight smile crossed her features, “but I no longer use it. Much as happened since the fall of the Order, and much of it I’d like to forget. The pull to the dark is too strong sometimes...I’m sure you must have felt it.”

You tensed as her words washed over and Din’s gaze shifted to you. You swallowed thickly as you realized that she was right; what you’d felt, especially in the crystal cave was strong, that call to chaos and violence, the pull to the dark. But you were strong enough to resist it then and you hoped to continue to be, “y-yes...I’ve felt it before.”

“It will get easier over time,” she promised, almost as if she could hear you fears and worries, but then again, you supposed she probably could, “Merrin is a Night Sister. You probably feel the energy from her too.”

“A Night Sister,” you said as the younger woman offered you a small smile, “from Dathomir? You use Magick, don’t you?”

“I do,” she agreed, “you are well versed in your histories aren’t you?”

“I had a lot of time when I was studying by myself, I tried to learn a little about a lot, but I would not consider myself an expert by any means. Your people have been through much.”

“As have yours,” she reached across the table and gave your hand a gentle squeeze, “we’re survivors, we make due with what we have, and stick together.”

“Together is the only way we survive,” you agreed before you turned your attention to the last of Cal’s crew, “it’s nice to meet you too. Greeze?”

“At your service,” he sounded entirely neutral as he looked over the two of you, eyes lingering on the Mandalorian, “don’t see many of you anymore. What are you doing with a little Jedi? I thought Jedi were the enemies of the Mandalore?”

“It’s a long story,” you begin, thinking about the day you’d met your mysterious Mandalorian, sure that it was going to be the last day of your life. Little did you know that it would be the beginning of your entirely knew life, one will with more adventure, and love, than ever before. You turned to Din and offered him a small smile, sure that he was giving you the same one in return, “but to make it short, I had a bounty on my head, and he ended up saving me both from my injuries and capture, and the rest is history really.”

“Oh jeeze, another love story,” Greeze sighed jokingly as your cheeks turned warm, causing you to pointedly keep your gaze away from Din, although both of you now knew that’s exactly what it was, but so much more than that, “what is it with Jedi and forming attachments, I thought that wasn’t allowed.”

“It wasn’t,” Cere said sharply, “which is one of the many reasons the Jedi Order fell. I never quite did understand that part, I do...but it never made sense.”

“Good thing I’m not a Jedi then,” you said softly as the whole table laughed, “because I would have been doomed a long time ago.”

Din’s hand was on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze as he watched you closely, a rush of emotions coursing through his blood.

“Listen, Cal told us about your crystal. Which means it’s time construct your own lightsaber,” Cere explained as you sat up with excitement. You’d been through hell and back to get that crystal and you were going to build that saber no matter what, “we have materials for the hilt back on our ship, we’ll get it all out for you. When you’re ready, come find us and then you can build.”

“Thank you,” your breath caught in your throat as you stared at table and let out a long breath.

“It’s a big step, and a right of passage,” Cere acknowledged, “take your time and find us once you’re sure.”

“I will,” you promised. The three of them stood up and started to head back to their own ship, with Jeele giving you a small nod and following them. It must have been a comfort to her as well to have other people who had experienced the same things around. They knew all the same heartbreak and loss.

Once when they were gone and silence fell over the two of you again, you let out a long sigh, just as Din did the same.

"You don't think-"

"No," you promised, "I don't think Cal is going to do anything. We can trust him, I can sense it."

"Do you think we'll get answers...something? Maybe he can help train him," he started babbling as you reached up and put your hand on the cowl at his neck giving him a gentle, reassuring squeeze, "I don't know if...I’m not...”

"I know," you replied softly as you understood exactly what he was trying to say, "you know what we have to do. Whatever happens, we'll get through it. We're a family, Din and nothing is going to change that. You don't have to do this alone...I will be here with you every step of the way."

He remained silent for a few moments, and you could hear a few heavy, long exhales come through the vocoder of his helmet. You remained silent but put your head on his shoulder, watching as he put a hand on your thigh. You put your hand on top of his and he silently laced your fingers together.

In all honesty, you weren't prepared for what might be coming. You'd been waiting and looking for more information about the mysterious small child, your son, but now that you might be getting some answers it all felt...gut wrenching. You wanted to know more about him and how to help him for his sake as much as yours and Din's. But at the end of it all, his was Din's son, and yours. Parting with him... it would be...almost impossible, but if it was what needed to happen, then you would do it. You were sure it wouldn't be forever, something in your heart told you that at the end of the day, your family would always be together.

The silence was tense at first, stiff as you both tried to come to terms with things that might soon be happening. But it soon shifted into something much more bearable and comfortable. One of the many things that you loved about your ever blossoming relationship with the Mandalorian was how the two of you could easily read each other. You rested your head on his shoulder as his hand was firmly on your thigh.

"Din?"

"Yes, Mesh'la?" his voice was tired, bells, he was tired and exhausted but he kept going; because of you and your son.

"We're going to be okay," you promised him again, feeling the need to reassure both of you again, "just like I had to leave the two of you for a while, this might be the same. But look, we're back together. The force...it works how its supposed and I know we're going to be together always. I saw it..."

"A Mandalorian and a Jedi," he huffed lightly, "they would never have seen it coming."

"Times change as do all things," you agreed, "but we are neither. I'm just me and you're just you. Aliit."

"Aliit," he agreed. You could see him leaning ever so slightly towards the door as you laughed lightly, "do you think..."

"Let's go and check," you stood up and offered him your hand, which he took without hesitation. The two of you slowly padded down the hallway, remaining silent as you walked back into the hull.

You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't the sight that met your eyes. On the floor, almost as unchanged as when you'd first, were Cal and your son, intently staring at each other. Din looked between the two of them before turning to you.

"They're communicating," you whispered softly, "they can understand each other's thoughts...its a skill you learn and improve over time...I'm afraid I'm not quite there yet."

"Thoughts," Din repeated as you nodded slowly. Almost as if on cue, Cal broke his gaze with the little one and turned to you.

"He wants me to tell you something," Cal as you approached the duo and sat down on the floor next to them with Din following suit. The little one turned me looked at both of excitedly, "his name. His name is Grogu."

“Grogu,” the name, gentle and soft, completely unexpected and yet perfectly fitting, caught in your throat. The tears that welled up in your eyes were immediate as you looked at the same green creature on the floor. After all this time, you finally knew his name. Grogu. He turned to, a little smile on his face as his ears perked up in excitement, “hi, my love.”

“Grogu,” Din repeated and the little one’s response was enough to make your heart melt. He cooed happily, nothing but happy little noises as he clambered to his feet and headed straight for Din. He stopped in front of his legs, holding his little arms up as he waiting for Din to pick him up. He hesitated for just a moment and you were positive you heard a small sniffle from under the helmet as DIn gently scooped him up in his arms before holding him tightly to his chest. It was silent for a moment as the two embraced each other before pulling apart as Din pressed the his helmet tenderly against his forehead, “Grogu.”

“Cal,” you reached over and back the child, no, Grogu’s back and gently rubbed it in a sign of reassurance, “can you tell us anything more about him?”

“I was able to get some more out of him,” he confessed, “but there’s a lot of...holes, dark spots, in his memory. Parts of his memory are almost blank; he spent a lot of time in hiding, in fear...he was alone and scared for a long time. He hid his powers, lost touch with them for years in order to survive. His ability to adapt and blend in led to his survival.”

“But he’s used them recently,” you raised an eyebrow as Grogu made a small sound.

“He feels safe,” Cal explained as Grogu appeared to nod, “he feels protected when he’s with both of you.”

“H-he does?” Din’s voice cracked as Grogu held onto one of his gloved fingers, “I’ve always wondered...”

“Yes,” Cal promised with a gentle smile of his own, “he’s formed a strong attachment to you, both of you. He thinks of you as parents.”

“We think of him as ours,” Din’s free arm found its way around your waist as you nodded, trying to take in and adsorb everything. That mean he understand you both, he knew just how much you loved him and how much you both cared.

“Where was he before? Before he was found?” Cal’s face fell slightly at your question, an almost upset expression crossing his features, “Cal?”

“At the Jedi Temple on Coruscant,” he explained. Where your brother hand been. Where Cal had been. Before they lost everything, “he had several teachers over the years, but during the purge he was smuggled out and put into hiding. He was lucky...like me. We survived unlike so many of our brothers and sisters.”

“You both went through so much, Cal, but you survived, that’s the important part,” your voice was gentle as the ginger haired man closed his eyes and let out a long breath. You had no doubt that the memories still plagued him often; survivor’s guilt. You all had in one form or another, “but who saved him? Why just him? Not that I don’t love him, but what’s so special about him?”

“I don’t know,” Cal shook his head in defeat as he looked at Grogu with a sad little half smile, “he doesn’t remember...or he’s blocked it out.”

“Another piece we still need to figure out,” while you felt slightly defeated, you were happy in turn. You knew a little bit more about him and his origins, and if nothing else, you had a name and you knew that he loved you both as much as you loved him.

“The most important question is - what does the Empire want with him?” Din kept his voice down, although the frustration was evident as he held Grogu close to his chest. All the excitement of what had been going on had slowly worn him down and he was started to loose the fight against slumber, “there was a scientist, he was trying to do something to him, but I took him back before they could do anything further.”

“The Empire doesn’t exist anymore,” you reminded Din as the men sighed deeply in unison; if it wasn’t for the severity of the situation, you would have laughed.

“The Empire still exists, it always has,” Cal offered as Din nodded, “under different names in different forms. Evil is always out there, and there’s been...stirrings about.”

“Of what?!”

“A new order,” Cal confessed quietly as you grimaced. None of that sounded good in the slightest, “but that’s just among many other things going on.”

“I...we’ve been tasked to bring him back to his people,” Din said as a look of realization crossed his features, “whether’s that his native people or the Jedi we don’t know.”

“There’s not many Jedi left,” Cal stated the obvious as you nodded, “especially not fulled trained Jedi like Jeele or Cere.”

“What about you, Cal?” you asked, knowing that Din was reluctant to do so. It would be hard on you both, but you knew what you had to do, “can you train him?”

“No,” he shook his head as you and exchanged a look of surprise with your Mandalorian, “his attachment to the two of you...it’s very strong. Emotional bonds by Jedi are forbidden for a reason-”

“Surely you can’t believe that.”

“We’ve all seen what an emotional attachment can lead to...it can lead to great things, but horrible, terrible ones as well,” he closed his eyes as his shoulders slumped forward, “Darth Vader was once a Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker. He was one of the most powerful Jedi of all time and yet we all know what happened with Darth Vader.”

You breath hitched in your throat as you thought back to all the horrors and atrocities that had plagued not just your childhood, but Din’s as well, and those of countless others, “what do we do then? How do we...”

“I don’t know,” he let his words linger in the air as he slowly leaned over and gently stroked Grogu’s soft ears. The little one was curled up in Din’s arms, the tiniest snores emanating from his mouth, “but I can’t take...I don’t want to set him down the wrong path.”

“Where do we go from here?” your question hung in the air as you exchanged a worried looked with Din. Part of your heart was elated that this meant you wouldn’t have to part ways with him just yet, but confused hung over in clouds as well. Despite all this time and effort, you were still no closer to figuring how the overarching mystery of it all, “if you won’t train him...”

“There is another place...Tython,” he perked up suddenly, “there’s a Jedi Temple there...it’s been long abandoned but has always had a strong connection, but if you take him there and he reaches out through the force, another Jedi somewhere might hear him and come.”

“If...”

“Like I said, there’s not many Jedi left,” he grimaced, “but someone might hear him. But it’s up to him, if he chooses to reach out. It’s his decision to make.”

“We’ll do it,” Din said quietly as he looked at his son sleeping in his arms, “if it could possibly help. Whatever it takes.”

“Yes,” you agreed, “we’re in this together.”

“I’m sure he’ll make the right decision,” Cal slowly rose to his feet, pausing as he studied the three of you. It reminded him of his own little found family, of Cere, or Merrin, or Greeze, and how no matter what, they were his family, “I think he’s already made his decision.”

"What do you mean?" you stood up and followed Cal as he walked towards the ramp to rejoin his own crew. Putting a hand on his arm, you gently stopped him, "what decision has he made?"

"You'll see," he promised quietly, casting a look back at the Mandalorian who was whispering gently to the small bundle, "I'm sorry I can't provide more answers, but I know you'll get them. But you - when you're ready, come and find us to build your saber. After that, I'm afraid our ways will have to part."

"Thank you, Cal Kestis," before you could stop yourself, you threw your arms around him and embraced him as though your life depended on it. He stiffened for a moment before responding in kind, "you've already given us so much."

He gave you a solemn nod, looking back at your Mandalorian before you, watching as your face softened, "may the force be with you."

"May the force be with you," you replied, closing the ramp back after he disappeared into the snow to keep the chill at bay.

You were silent for a moment, head practically spinning with everything going on, but one thing you for sure was that you loved your little family more than anything.

"Mesh'la?" Din tilted the helmet up at you, keeping your quiet gaze for a moment. You struggled to hold back tears as you slowly made your way over to your boys, "is everything okay?"

"I...umm...yes," not a position to even begin to try to explain your emotions, you held your hand and motioned for him to take it. Without hesitation, Din gently enveloped your hand with his and rose to his full height.

“I’m just...it’s a lot to take in. All of it.”

“Yes,” he commented gruffly, almost reminding you of the tone had adopted when you’d first met him. Your heart sank slightly at the thought and you hoped he wasn’t retreating into himself. Reaching up, you put your hand on the part of his neck that was covered in fabric and gave him a reassuring touch.

“Let’s go and rest,” you whispered, feeling the gravitas start to weigh on you. Between everything that had happened in the last few days you were physically and mentally exhausted. The siren call of slumber was getting greater and greater with every passing second. Din seemed unsure for a moment but you weren’t going to let him pull away. You knew he was worried, maybe even terrified of what was to come, just as you were, but you wanted him to know that he was definitely not alone, “Din. I’ve got you, I promise. We’re a family, don’t forget that...please don’t shut us out.”

“I won’t,” it was a soft promise as he reached up and touched your cheek with his free hand, the other still holding tightly onto the little one. Keening into his touch, you exhaled slowly as he wiped away the single tray tear that had rolled down your cheek, “I won’t...”

“Come on,” you took his hand pulled him towards the small space that was deemed as your deemed, “the bed is small but we can make it work.”

And so he acquiesced, feeling calm and contented, almost as if he was glad to let someone else be in charge for once, glad to let be the follower instead of the leader.

Once you were inside the small room, which made him look even more massive and broad, you reached for Grogu, taking care not to wake him up as you set in your bed, bundling him in blankets to keep him warm. He made a small sound, but quickly snuggled deeper into the blankets as your heart melted.

Turning your attention back to Din, you reached for his arm, slowly, waiting for him to stop you if he so chose.

But he didn’t. He made a small sound in the back of his throat as you worked to tenderly take off each piece of armor, starting with his boots. Setting each piece down gently, you didn’t stop until you were at his pauldrons, when you hesitated slightly. He was almost bare now, left in only his underclothes as he watched you work. Your breathing had become slow and methodical as you worked and you noticed that his had done the same

Something palpable had shifted; you weren’t quite able to put your finger on it, but you could both sense it. Once the armor was stripped from his shoulders, you let your hands linger on them, offering him a reassuring squeeze before moving to pull away to switch off the lights so he could remove the helmet if he chose to. But before you could move, his hands went to your wrists and held your hands on his shoulders.

“Din...” his name was soft but caught in your throat as you gazed into his visor.

“I want...” he trailed off, a shaky exhale leaving the vocoder as you tried to pick his words carefully, “we’re family.”

“Yes,” you agreed with a gentle smile, “we are.”

“Y-you’re staying...right?”

“Always, Din,” you promised quickly, “always. We were meant to find each other, to be together. I love you more than anything.”

“I love you,” his heart settled a little bit as he spoke the words aloud, reaffirming himself that this was real, “and I want you to be my wife - my riduur.”

“Din...I...” you nodded, your words not needing to be spoken as you both understood loud and clear what you were saying. His hands were firm but gentle on yours as he slowly moved them closer and closer to his cowl and the metal exterior of his ever present helmet, “you don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” he rasped as you tried to keep your lips from trembling, “but I want to. You have never once asked, attempted to look, judged, or made a big deal out of it. If there is anyone in the galaxy that deserves this it’s you. The one I want to spend the rest of my days with. We found each other as hunter and prey, and look where we are now.”

“So different and yet utterly the same.”

“The first time you left,” he swallowed the lump in his throat as he tried to collect himself, “I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d never felt such a loss, such an emptiness before. I had to find you. But the second time...it was still hard, but it hurt less. I knew you’d be back, and we would be together again...”

“I felt the same way,” you confessed breathlessly, positive that your heart was about to burst out of your chest at his words, “it was the worst time of my life. Even once I’d accepted that you were gone, I still held onto hope that would we would be together again.”

“And now? I can’t imagine a day without you,” you sighed contentedly as you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against his beskar, “I will follow you to the ends of the galaxy, Mesh’la. You...you and Grogu are everything. You mean more to me than you will ever know.”

“Are you sure about this?” it was a mere whisper off your lips as it hung in the air for a few moments as Din weighed the gravitas of the moment. He inhaled deeply before nodding once.

“I’ve never been more sure about anything in life than this,” his words were enough to make you melt on the spot as he slowly brought your hands to the side of his helmet. He didn’t remove his own, his large, warm hands covered your own as he slowly, painstakingly slowly, began to push it up. He halted for just one moment before whispered, “together.”

“Together,” you agreed as the helmet started to come up, higher and higher, inch by blissful inch. Out of habit, or instinct, or whatever you wanted to call it, you squeezed your eyes shut, not daring to sneak a peek. Once it was completely lifted from his head and he released your hands to set the helmet along with the rest of his armor.

“Open your eyes, Mesh’la,” and gods did you almost choke as a strangled sound caught in your throat. His voice was warm and honeyed, that same baritone you’d heard before, but something was different about this. He reached up and touched your cheek, stroking it gently, “it’s okay...”

“Din,” it so damn soft that weren’t even sure that you’d said anything. And then slowly, little but little, you opened your eyes, blinking away the bleariness before finding him. And then you did it was like your heart stopped then and there as your world fell apartment and came back together all at once.

Din. Din Djarin. Your love. Your soon to be riduur was starting at you with the softest expression you’d ever seen.

He was a mixture of emotions, nervous, relieved, excited, overwhelmed, scared, happy.

But then, as you reached up and found his face, studying him astutely, he realized what it was more than anything else.

Loved.

He was loved. So loved. And it radiated into every fiber of his being, golden like the sweetest daylight.

“Hi,” you choked out as your tears welled up in your ears. He was so lovely, even lovelier than your vision made him out to be. Reaching up, you put your hands on either side of his face as you traced over his features, committing each little bit to memory.

His lips, soft and plush, pulled in a little smile, completed with several days worth of stubble and a mustache that might have look silly on anyone else. His eyes, sweet and dark, crinkled slightly as his smile grew and a dimple of revealed. Those eyes that had seen such beauty and horror, so many things, and yet they still watched you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered.

As you carded a hand through his dark curls, he made a sound of content as you scratched at his scalp. His was utterly beautiful, and while a small part of you wished you’d gotten to see this side of him earlier, you knew this was moment was perfect.

“Hi,” he repeated as he waited for you to say something...anything else. Judging by your reaction, how still and soft you remained, he knew this was playing out just as it was meant to.

“That vision had nothing on you,” you beamed at him, warming every part of him as he visibly relaxed, “you are...everything, Din. No matter what you think. “

“May I kiss you?” it was a timid, shy little question as you eagerly, wrapping your arms around his neck and breathing him in. He smelled as delicious as he always did, warm and musky, a comforting smell that both ensnared you and grounded in the same moment.

“You don’t have to ask,” his hands found your waist as he pulled you close and crashed his lips onto yours. It was proper this, for the first, and hopefully many more to come. His lips chased yours in a gentle manner, although there was a sense of urgency behind his kisses.

Din pulled you against his body as you smiled against his lips, heart warming as you responded in kind. It wasn’t perfect by any means, a somewhat awkward, messy tangle of tongue and teeth as the two of you started to learn each other, in an entirely new way. But you wouldn’t have changed it any way at all. It was utterly perfect, and you knew then, just as you had before, that you were so in love with him.

The force might have worked in mysterious ways, but this was destined to be. You knew that wherever the two of you where, whatever happened, your souls would always find their way back to each other.

“I love you,” you grinned at him when you broke apart for a breath of air, foreheads pressed against each other.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum,” you raised your eyebrows at his words, attempting to figure out what he meant. You knew it was Mando’a, all of your time spent studying his culture had taught you that much, but it didn’t help with the translation. He laughed lightly at the confused expression, causing your mouth to form a small o.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s similar to I love you,” he promised, “it more or less means I hold you in my heart forever. More or less I love you.”

“I love it,” you replied with a small grin, “and you. Will you teach me?”

“Teach you what?” he asked you took his hand and started pulling him towards the bed where the little one still slept soundly, completely unawares that two worlds were changing right next to him.

“Mando’a,” you pulled back to the blankets and pointed at the bed, motioning for him to crawl under them. He was tired, his head spinning, and he was eager to take you up on that offer, “I’d like to learn, to be able to speak it with you...and one day, o-our son.”

“Cassian,” he remember as you nodded, feeling a flush of warmth enter your face at the sheer thought. You switched the light off and padded back over to him, watching as he scooted over to make room for you, leaving Grogu nestled in between the two of you, “are you warm enough?”

“Yes,” you made yourself comfortable, snuggling into the pillows and blankets as his arm found its around your waist, his longer legs tangled with yours, “perfect. I wouldn’t change this for anything.”

“Me neither,” he agreed as he felt his eyes start to get heavy with sleep. This moment was everything; the three of you together as one little family. Which, he now knew, was exactly what you always had been, even when neither of you knew it, “rest now, Mesh’la.”

“You too Din,” you grabbed his hand with yours and laced your fingers together, “promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“That isn’t a dream? This is all real.”

“It’s not a dream,” he reassured you, “this is all very real. And tomorrow we’ll still all be here.”

“Good,” you brought his hand to your lips as you kissed his knuckles, “good. I love you, Din.”

“I love you too, Mesh’la. Now and always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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david-talks-sw · 3 years

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About the supposed “dig at Rey” in the Mandalorian finale.

So a lot of people have taken to YouTube and social media, saying that Luke’s line about “talent without training (being) nothing” is a dig at Rey “bEcAuSe ShE’s A mArY sUe who’s good at everything and never trained!!”

No.

Quick recap: The Mandalorian is created by Jon Favreau, and he develops it with Dave Filoni (who created The Clone Wars with George Lucas, invented Ahsoka Tano, and created Star Wars: Rebels), among others.

As far as Dave is concerned, Rey is no different than Ahsoka, she’s not “OP”, she’s not a “Mary Sue”. He’s all for strong, independent, female characters.

He talked about this at the National Center for Women & Information Technology, you can find his full speech here. If you want to see the extracts specifically about Rey and female character in Star Wars, you can find it here (though I’d advise just ignoring the intentionally-triggering title and seeing the video for what it is).

All the backlash he saw about Rey? He saw it for Ahsoka too.

“Oh, she’s fighting Grievous and she’s only, like 13?! That’s so OP!”

“She feels like a Mary Sue written for a prequel based fan fiction.”

“Oh, she disobeyed an order from Yularen on Ryloth?! She’s so snippy!”

“Ugh, I hate her and her stupid voice!”

“She’s always pointing out stuff other characters have missed, like she’s so perfect! She's a Mary Sue with an annoying voice and personality.”

And honestly? I remember that period. People hated Ashley Eckstein and Ahsoka, just like they hated Hayden Christensen, and most Prequel-related content.

So no, that line is not a dig at Rey. If you expect that to ever come from Dave, big chance you’ll be disappointed. He is all for Rey, as a character (as am I, tbh). There may be issues with how she’s written, but none of it is related to her being too strong, or her being good at everything. Guess what? Captain America and Goku are good at everything too.

What The Mandalorian tackles, with that line, is a debate with bigger implications than just Grogu.

We get two sides of the same debate, from both Ahsoka, and Luke.

“I cannot train him. His attachment to you makes him vulnerable to his fears. His anger. I’ve seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight. To the best of us. I will not start this child down that path. Better to let his abilities fade.”

“He is strong with the Force, but talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect the Child… but he will not be safe until he masters his abilities.“

The subject they really subliminally tackle is:

Should Anakin Skywalker have been trained to be a Jedi?

On the one hand:

Anakin has the potential of being the most powerful Force-user in galactic history, as the Jedi know it. It’s just a matter of time before he accidentally Force chokes someone in a fit of anger, or when submitted to extreme stress. He needs to be trained to hone his skills so he’s not a danger to himself and others.

Jedi Training would also help him get over the trauma of growing up as a slave on Tatooine, as it is aimed at keeping your emotions under control, whereas Anakin isn’t even acknowledging their existence (he pretends he’s not afraid in front of the Jedi Council, and seems to be the only person in the room to think that he should hide his fears). His hidden fears, his anger… Jedi Training would teach him to confront them.

Also, there’s a big chance the Sith are back! If they let this kid just go out into the wild, who knows, maybe the Sith Lords pick him up and make him one of their own. Better to keep the boy close.

Anakin is a good boy, raised by a loving mother, with a kind heart. If anything, he’s got the drive to do good as strong as that of any Jedi’s. Him being down-to-earth more than your average Jedi can potentially make him the best out of all of them. He could bridge the distance between the Jedi and the Senate, he could lead the Jedi into a new age. If anyone could be the next, better and improved Yoda, it’s Anakin Skywalker.

On the other hand:

Jedi training is for Jedi only. AKA, it’s perfect if you’re raised in the temple at a very young age to be a diplomat/wizard who upholds the values of the Republic, in control of your emotions and in Balance with the Force. But if you’re not? Then the strict rules of the Jedi Order will basically seem like an insurmountable (bordering on unreasonable) obstacle.

Any normal person will see these rules as attempting to turn you into a sociopath. Because if you’re a normal person, they might. For all intents and purposes, Anakin is a super-powerful normal person. If they take Anakin in, 10 years old, with the attachments he’s formed (his mother), the emotions he represses, the trauma from his upbringing - all of which, in a normal person, are totally fine and common - and try to force him in a mold he just won’t fit in, that’s just a recipe for disaster.

Of all people, Qui-Gon Jinn - Mister “I’m always right because I follow the Will of the Force and you don’t” - who is not the most forthcoming of people, as opposed to Obi-Wan, is insisting that he should train the boy. You give a chaotic Master a chaotic Padawan? That’s adding extra ingredients to the recipe for disaster.

The BEST thing to do would be Qui-Gon leaving the Order with Anakin, and raising Anakin as his surrogate son, teaching him his values, rather than training him as a Padawan and teaching him the values of the Jedi (which he’s too old for and which essentially make the Jedi the Senate’s lapdogs). But Qui-Gon’s insisting that he train him as a Jedi.

Anakin’s mind is too fragile as it is. If they add the stress of being a Jedi to that too, there’s a big chance he won’t be able to take it, and bring about the destruction of everything they are, stand for and care about.

And, to be honest? Both points are fair.

Because Anakin was both…

… the best of them…

… and their destructor.

But then, should Grogu be trained?

In my (and Luke’s) opinion? Yes.

Ahsoka’s logic makes sense… but it only applies to how things were before, back when the Jedi served the Republic as Force-sensitive diplomats/ambassadors, making decisions that impacted whole planets and their billions of inhabitants, keeping the peace through mediation, and occasionally investigating a crime.

But in Grogu’s case… things are a bit different.

The Republic is gone.

The Jedi’s mission of upholding its values seems to be gone with it.

So literally any surviving Jedi, has a new mission: just help people.

Be it Ezra & Kanan helping the Rebellion during the Dark Times.

Or Cal Kestis, saving the Force-sensitive children.

Or Ahsoka, helping the village of Calodan, after the fall of the Empire.

Or Luke, literally being a space-vagabond/Jedi archeologist for 10 years and helping out wherever and whoever he can.

The Jedi no longer have to deal with planet-sized problems, or mediations, or investigations, because the New Republic hasn’t included them in its government, seeing as they have their rangers, now.

So now, the pressure of “upholding the Republic’s values” and “going on missions which impact billions of lives” is gone.

Now, the Jedi operate at a smaller scale and just help people out. As they did, before they became Republic officials.

Sure, they still keep their emotions in control, but that’s simply for the sake of living a healthy life, rather than for the sake of objectiveness and diplomacy.

In these circumstances? It’s totally fine for Grogu to be trained, as he should be.

The line was about the fact that training Grogu to hone his skills is fine, and should be done, before he becomes a danger to everyone around him.

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cl-01-kestis · 4 years

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My Little Rebel - Inquisitor!Cal Kestis x Female Rebel!Reader | Part 2

Summary: Reader finds herself tangled to Cal the Inquisitor by an accidental force bond that was created during their first meeting. Cal is on her tail everywhere she goes and she has no choice but to put up with it.

Warnings: None

It had been a whole month since you met Cal the Inquisitor, you were now far away as possible from Kashyyyk and you planned on keeping it that way for a long time. There were a lot of things about that planet that creeped you out, but nothing was more bone-chilling than the night you met Cal.

You found out from a few of your former colleagues that he was the newest addition to the Inquisitors, the Eleventh brother - Cal Kestis. You said his name countless times in your head, sometimes when you were on your own you’d say it out loud just to test how it sounded on your tongue. In your head, you replayed the night you met him everyday since it happened and it was giving you sleepless nights and tiresome days. You hated to admit it, but you wanted to see him again. There was something so terrifying yet fascinating about him, you swear you were going to die that night, if it weren’t for the fact Cal liked you enough to spare your life. But then again, any other Inquisitor would never do what he did, not in a million years. If it were another inquisitor, you would be dead the moment you stepped foot into the forest.

Your Rebel friends noticed the difference in your attitude the more days that went by that you had met Cal. You started looking almost dead-like from the lack of sleep, you hardly had anything to eat but when you did it was mostly at dinner. Occasionally you’d be spotted early morning in the cafeteria eating some bacon and eggs. But aside from that, you never ate during the day. Your loss of apetite was caused by the thoughts racing through your mind, as was everything else that changed about you.

After a long month of working your ass off in a Rebel base on Yavin 4, you finally got some time off from work and fixing x-wings. You spent your first few days locked up in your room, doing nothing but sleeping and occasionally going out to the cantina. A few of your friends visited your quarters and hung around for hours, sometimes staying overnight and getting drunk with you to have a laugh. Other than that, your break from work has been pretty calm so far and not much has happened.

That was until today.

You woke up late as usual, going to your refresher and getting changed into some black sweatpants, a T-shirt and dark green cardigan. Your hair was messy and you ruffled it with your wet towel as you exited your refresher, only to freeze in your spot after sensing that something was off about your room. You walked out, looking around every corner and crook of your room before sitting down on your bed, unnerved as the silence of your room made you feel slightly in danger. As if someone was watching you.

You were no force sensitive, but it didn’t take a force sensitive to acknowledge the fact that there was something definitely wrong going on. You checked everything in your room, making sure everything was how it should be and constantly looking out your window to see if anyone was there. It was obvious something wasn’t right, you grew frustrated over it and ended up leaving your room shortly after to get some air. You shoved on some sneakers and took a blaster with you just in case you got yourself into some trouble whilst you were outside.

On your way there you greeted many other rebels and said hello to your friends, making sure all of them were alright in case any of them had sensed anything wrong - it seemed like it was only you. You tried shaking off the weight sinking into your heart the closer you got to the exit of the Rebel base. Your feet sped up, you checked behind you to see if anyone was following you - no one. A few mechanics smiled and waved at you as you passed them, waving back but not as happy as you intended. You blamed it on your worry at the fact that you were running away from possibly nothing.

Your eyes scanned the outside area around you, your breaths coming out as short and raspy as you whipped your head around and looked in all possible directions. The weight in your chest was growing heavier, you tried walking one way, only to realise the weight in your chest was in fact pulling you somewhere. You were scared to even walk the way you were supposed to, legs shaking as you approached an x-wing ship in the distance - the ship that belonged to you. You looked around cautiously to see if anyone was around and watching you, gulping down the lump growing in your throat the moment you finally approached your x-wing and pressed a hand firmly against the lower left wing as some form of protection. You ducked underneath the wing, approaching the edge of the Yavin 4 forest that surrounded the Jedi temple and rebel base you were all hiding in.

With one quick glance behind you, you looked back at the forest; only to stumble back and land on your backside harshly once your eyes landed on a menacingly familiar Inquisitor.

Cal was here, right in front of you. You realised how dangerous this would make the situation, you unknowingly just exposed the location of the rebel base but for some reason Cal didn’t look as though he was going to attack. No, he wasn’t here for that, he was here for you.

“Hey Gorgeous” Cal smiled, crouching down and holding out a hand to you in a kind manner, his bright auburn hair falling in front of his yellow eyes which glistened the moment they linked with yours. You shivered, your eyes looking away as you took his hand and he lifted you up fairly quick, making you almost fall forward and accidentally into him as you tried regaining your balance. Instead of pulling you away, Cal wrapped his arms around you and held you close like a teddy bear.

“Miss me that much? I’m flattered” Cal smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and his smirk growing wider when he saw how flushed you had become. You pushed away from him suddenly, clearing your throat and immediately checking behind you to see if anyone saw him.

“Relax, I’m blending in... think I’m doing a good job?” Cal asked in a humorous tone, spinning around to show off his outfit which consisted of a green toned poncho, brown combats and black boots. Underneath the poncho was a black polo neck. You couldn’t help but feel a tinge of a smile creep up on you, causing you to purse your lips quickly in an attempt to diminish it.

“It’s... alright for an attempt, where did you get it?” You were scared to ask but couldn’t help it, you were sure Nur didn’t have those type of clothes and you sure as hell the Fortress Inquisitorius didn’t have any clothes like that.

“Stole them” Cal said simply, stretching his back by twisting his torso slightly and causing you to cringe when a small crack was heard.

“You sure you didn’t kill someone and then steal their clothes?” You joked at first, but Cal didn’t laugh. You went dead silent and your face went still.

“Nah i’m just messing with you” Cal broke into a smile and for some reason you felt as though your heart was in your throat, chest flushed with sudden warmth as you watched the Inquisitor smile.

“That’s not funny” You shook your head and playfully shoved Cal, surprised at yourself with how comfortable you were within a matter of seconds.

“Well you’re no fun” Cal rolled his eyes playfully ans crossed his arms, almost making you smile once again. Cal’s eyes flickered from you to your x-wing, his hand reaching up to press his palm against the lower wing behind you and smiling to himself as if he was impressed by the space craft.

“So what do you do here?” Cal asked with sincerety, feeling the metal slide across his fingertips as he trailed the along the wing and onto the body of the ship.

“I work as a mechanic and sometimes I pilot this ship as backup, you know, if there’s any unexpected Imperial sky squadron incoming and there’s not many pilots around to defend them off” You said, opening up to Cal little by little and looking back to see him with a pleased expression.

“Fascinating, how long have you been a mechanic?” He asked, eager to know more about you and leaning on the side of your ship, getting comfy and occasionally looking behind you to see if anyone was approaching or nearby.

“Almost 7 years, I think, I started working on ships when I was very young. My mother was a mechanic as well” You chuckled at the end, shrugging your shoulders and smiling at Cal who nodded.

“Your mother part of the Rebellion?” He asked.

“Before that actually, she was a mechanic for the Army of the Galactic Republic, working on clone ships and Jedi cruisers, she was pretty high up” You explained, remembering your mother’s oil stained face and grimy hands which she always used to tickle you with as a young girl.

“Pretty impressive” Cal’s voice grew quiet, looking as though he was deep in thought until he saw a few rebels pass by, ducking down into some bushes and hiding until they were out of sight.

“So you’re continuing your mother’s legacy?” Cal stood back up and dusted himself off with a flushed face. You nodded and smiled, leaning back and forth on your heels as you stood rather awkwardly.

“Yeah, I... guess I am. My mother... got caught in a ship crash and died 6 years ago, it’s a shame really” Your voice held hesitance and sorrow, lowering Cal’s mood immediately and making him frown in sympathy as your eyes looked away from his and you inhaled a shaky breath; remembering your mother’s smiling face.

“I’m sorry to hear that, I know losing someone is never easy” Cal said, empathetic as he pressed a comforting hand on your shoulder and took a step forward, cautious not to scare you as he came close.

“Have you ever lost someone?” You asked, looking back up and surprisingly melting into his touch instead of pushing away like you should’ve.

“My master... he saved my life but in exchange for his” Cal’s face shifted and you saw how much the memory effected him, his eyes became teary and you had a sudden impulse to give him a hug. But you kept your distance, raising a hand and cupping his face and tracing a thumb over his cheek as a tear left his yellow eyes.

There was a moment of silence that ripped through you and Cal, he looked up and his eyes connected to yours, and suddenly everything froze. You kept your hand cupped on his face, your thumb caught the falling tear on his cheek and you felt a flush of warmth envelop you, as if someone was hugging you tightly. Cal opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out, simply an unreadable expression all across his face as he stared at you deeply.

“Someone’s coming” Cal said suddenly, sensing them before he could see whoever was coming. You frowned, a sharp pang of pain plunged in your chest, you didn’t want him to go. You didn’t even look behind you to see who was coming, your eyes were glued to the Inquisitor in front of you and you couldn’t see to look away.

“I’ll see you later, my little Rebel, don’t miss me too much okay?” Cal pulled you close, cupping your face and pressing a firm kiss against your head before letting you go and disappearing into the deep forest full of greens and browns. You didn’t even see where he went as you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around to see your rebel friends, smiling and asking you if you wanted to go out with them for a drink.

Only then did you start feeling morivation, Cal’s visit seemed to knock you out of your lazy state and you suddenly wanted to go out and have fun. But then again, you wished it was with him.

What’s going on with you, why are you feeling this way towards a man who makes you feel like your life is on the line every time you see him? He’s an Inquisitor, you’re a rebel, you shouldn’t be feeling anything towards him. But you couldn’t help but feel your heart quicken and face flush with blood as soon as he appeared.

He’s only seen you twice, you needed to control yourself - you thought as you joined your friends and started walking away from your x-wing, sneaking one last glance at the forest and feeling the same pain in your heart the moment he left.

#fallen order #star wars #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis x you #cal kestis

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wutroows · 4 years

Text

tiny gap (cal kestis x reader)

pairing: cal kestis x reader a/n: i saw makayla’s reply to an anon’s ask (linked here) and i got inspired to write for cal. this boy needs as much love as he can get and i wish i could give it to him

jedi training was always difficult. after cere and cal both recovered from their battle with that mysterious sith— which they later learned was a man who called himself darth vader— they were really torn up with injuries. cal had been stabbed with his own lightsaber through his chest, and cere had been thrown around as if she were a ragdoll.

as cal slept, you sat beside his bed. you admired his sleeping features and freckles littered across his cheeks. every now and then, you gave a little bit of your life force to heal him quicker. you would sit your hand on his chest while he slept, and you closed your eyes, hoping that the force would magically heal him as if the fight never happened. cal would wake up some days, confusedly touching at his wound and then hissing whenever he realized it wasn’t fully healed.

he was fully recovered a few months later, with only a scar left behind to prove of what happened to him. he’d been training with cere more often now to become a jedi, even if he’d been knighted before. he told you, “i have so much more to learn, and if cere is able to teach me, i want to know.”

cere was the only one on the crew of the mantis who knew you were force sensitive. during order 66, you were with your master dono treeooroni. he was a strong twi’lek, who took you in as his padawan when you were very young. he died when order 66 was executed. he died protecting you. you felt as if you were worthless because you couldn’t protect your master, the man who’d done so much to protect you. he’d given you his lightsaber, and you had it hidden in your part of the room that you shared with cal at the back of the mantis.

ever since merrin joined, cal had opened up a bit more. you were beginning to think cal had a bit of a crush on her, which was understandable. she was beautiful, intelligent and strong. she didn’t let the deaths of her sisters push her down and she always kept her held up high. if anything, you hoped cal would like her over you. compared to merrin, you were a speck of dust.

cal and cere were outside of the mantis, practicing ways he could hold and wield his lightsaber. greez was taking a nap, complaining that the time it took to get to bogano from kashyyyk took too long, and you were sitting down on the ground next to bd-1. merrin had went off exploring on her own, saying she wanted to see something other than the inside of the mantis. you offered to tag along, but she told you to stay with cal. you didn’t think much of it, but you nodded and stayed with cal and cere as he trained.

“take a break, cal.” you heard cere say, turning off her own lightsaber and attaching it to the belt on her hip. cal turned off his lightsaber with a sigh, the only sound being the occasional chirps from bd-1 sitting next to you. he was veering for action, and you knew it. you knew he wanted to fight with a lightsaber. it was about time he knew you were force sensitive anyways. he deserved to know.

"hey, cal." you called his name and he turned to face you, fiery locks following the whip of his head. "yeah?" he replied back to you, eyes drilling into your own as if he could see right through you. you had nothing to hide from him except from this, but if he had it figured out already you would feel like an idiot. "can you come with me for a second?" he nodded, lightsaber now attached to his belt as he walked after you.

you lead him through the mantis' living space and past greez where he was sleeping on the couch. you held back a chuckle as you looked at him laying there. greez was a funny guy. you were glad he was part of this little makeshift family you had. you, cal, cere, greez, and merrin, against the world. a smile on your lips, you led him back to your shared quarters.

after cal joined the mantis' crew, another bed was added in the same room. cere apologized fervently for having you share a room with him but after she realized about your small crush on him she took all of that back. cal had a space at the end of the room where he worked on his lightsaber, and close to it was his bed.

cal's face filled with confusion as you led him back to your side of the room, and you sat on the bed, patting the space next to you to get him to sit down. he followed after giving you a perplexed look. you turned to him, and looked straight into his eyes. better to tell him now than to have him find out by someone else or by accident later. "i have something to tell you, cal." he moved to face you, and his head tilted slightly to the side, hair flopping over his forehead as he did so. he was so pretty. he had no idea what he did to you.

“um..” you cleared your throat, and turned to the bedside table. in the bottom drawer sat your lightsaber, alone. it wasn’t really even yours, it was your masters. you took it during order 66 after he passed away, you felt like you needed to have something of him to hold onto. you opened the drawer with a deep inhale, and pulled the lightsaber out of it. “i’m force sensitive.” you told him, and a smile appeared across his lips. “i know.” cal replied back to you as if it were the most obvious thing you ever said to him. “i’ve known for months now, ever since i got that injury from before.”

“what?” you questioned. he knew you force healed him. shit. he wasn’t stupid, it was dumb of you to force heal him so carelessly but it pained you to see him hurting so badly. all you wanted was for him to feel better from his pain and have him go back to the same upbeat, positive cal you knew. “it was a little obvious.. i heard you whispering to me that it would be okay. then i felt your hand on my chest for a few minutes.”

he laid back on your bed, hands now behind his head. you laid next to him, and one of his hands moved to entwine your fingers together. “before meeting you all, my life was the same every day. wake up, scrap for parts.. fear for my life, sleep, then repeat. i was so afraid someone would find out that i was force sensitive.. and i imagine that’s how you feel too.” cal concluded. he turned on his side, releasing your hand after a soft squeeze. “you can tell me anything, y/n.”

your hands shakily reached up to cup his cheeks, and his eyes peered directly into yours as if he could feel what you were feeling. your thumbs ran over each freckle on his face, and you could feel his muscles move when he smiled. his hand moved up over yours, and his smile traveled straight to the forested green eyes you found yourself loving so much. cal was truly something else. he was special. he had a heart of gold, he cared so much about everyone else before himself. you aspired to be like him.

sighing, you leaned forwards as he closed his eyes, finally relaxing in your hands. it was now or never, a phrase you commonly found yourself repeating, made your way into your mind as you looked down at his lips. they look soft. you wanted to so badly just lean forward a tiny bit more and close the gap between the two of you. you wanted only to kiss him, to show him how much he meant to you. “go ahead.” you heard him say, “kiss me.”

with his words of confirmation, you leaned forward and closed the distance. your lips fit together like a puzzle piece, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss. one of your hands moved from his face, playing gently at the ends of his beautiful locks that complimented his fair and soft complexion. he hummed against your lips, before smiling.

this was your first kiss. it was his too. you wanted to save it for the right person, and you firmly believed that cal kestis was that person. he only pulled away to catch his breath, and his eyes opened to meet yours. you smiled back at him like a lovesick puppy. “can we stay like this?” you asked him, eyes still admiring his face like he was the only person in the whole galaxy. to you, he was. he was the only person in the galaxy at that moment. he nodded back to you.

with your hands still laying rest on his cheeks, you felt at home. you felt at home like this, with him. you hoped he felt the same with you.

#cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #x reader #star war #star wars x reader #jedi fallen order #star wars x you #star wars headcanons #fluff #angst #cal kestis fluff #jedi fallen order x reader #cere junda #nightsister merrin #greez #trilla suduri #the second sister #the ninth sister

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capricornus-rex · 4 years

Note

could you maybe right something with cal where the reader and cal are maybe doing repairs on a part of the mantis but the door gets stuck and the end up locked in the area for a while? and they’re both obviously in love with one another but just can’t really admit it to each other? if that makes sense lmao. you’re writing is super good btw!

Hi Anon! I’m really sorry that it took a while because I got caught up with the prior requests and my OC x Cal fic ;;;; I hope that I can make it up to you by finally writing this fic request. I hope you’ll still enjoy this story! I’M BACK TO WRITING, I SWEAR. I just enjoyed my break way more than I should ;-;

“Little Secrets That You Know That I Never Told” | Cal Kestis x Reader

Also in AO3

Tags: Subtle hints, secret crush, slightly jealous! Cal, mutual pining, bonding, warm and fuzzy feelings, fluff

Masterlist

Greez takes your hand to nestle a small pouch of credits onto your palm. It’s neither too heavy nor light, though the slightest movement warranted the metal inside to clink against one another.

“Alright, here’s the money for the parts and I’m sure you’ve got a good eye for quality!”

You bobbed your hand with the pouch to feel its weight, and then you thought out loud to Greez.

“Why don’t you come with us, Greez? Nothing bad about a little stroll, it’ll help in stretching your legs,”

“Aww no, my ship should not be out of my sight within a one-inch radius!”

“Uhh… Don’t you mean one-mile radius?”

“No, I did mean a one-inch radius!” pressed the Lateron.

Cal stepped in just when your banter with the captain has concluded. He asks you if you’re ready and you say yes. Even from a distance, you can feel the hostility from the town; in Cal’s case, it sort of reminded him of Bracca, and he sensed your uncertainty disguised as caution.

“We best be careful, Cere found a lot of Imperial signals here,” you recall.

“Then stay close to me,”

It came to Cal naturally, but when he realized what he just said, all of the color drained away from his freckled cheeks. You turned to him and he returned the gesture with a nervous side-glance that evolved into a full look; he was greeted with a small yet warm smile from you and you mouthed the word “Sure” within his earshot. Immediately, the color returned to his cheeks.

The two of you came across a shop that seemed promising, and so you enter the establishment, making your presence known by the ring of a chime that hung by the door—or lack thereof, since it was only a canvas curtain. A young man—perhaps in the same age as you and Cal—and his attention was drawn to the sound. He shifted in his seat, as he was originally facing away from the door, and vaulted over the main counter.

“Well now, what can I get for you?”

“Yeah, uh,” you fished out the compact holodisk and switched it on. “We have a list of parts. Do you happen to have these?”

The young shopkeeper leaned closer to the point that the hologram’s light pooled the entirety of his face, he makes a pensive look: chin between his fingers, squinted eyes, and a long “hmm” as he skims your list.

He clicked his tongue, “Yep, I think we have those,” then there was an awkward pause mainly on your end, so he decided to continue on. “Name’s Seff by the way.”

“Oh cool,” your lip stretched into a straight smile and you shrug your shoulders. “Could you, like… at least show us where they are, Seff?”

While you and Cal weren’t exactly there to make niceties, both of you continued to be polite to Seff. But Cal sensed something else from the boy—it was his seemingly desperate attempt to get your attention. Though he was comforted by the fact that you were uninterested in the subtlest way possible. Seff gestured the pair to the wall of wares; when you took the step ahead towards it, Cal stayed close by your side and shot Seff a sharp glance as he obscured the shopkeeper’s view of you—practically standing in the middle.

BD-1 obliged to flash his copy of the list through lens in the form of a hologram, he did this while perched on Cal’s shoulder. Meanwhile, you browsed the racks upon racks of parts. You felt a little playful and picked up a cylindrical lens shaft and held it to your eye level, the other end points to Cal—who was still busy looking for the other part on the list—when he noticed you in your little game, you finally caught a glimpse of him and his smile through the glass lens.

“Ooh, I think I spotted some treasure!” you chirped.

“Harty-har-har,” Cal cooed, barely even doing the impression of a space pirate. He carefully lowers the lens away from your eyes with his the tips of his fingers, revealing a cheery smile painted on your face.

You teasingly bit your lip to him, as if holding back a laugh, before returning the lens to the shelf. Endeared, Cal himself smiled privately as he looked rummaged through the shelves; he attempts to catch a glimpse of you, angling out his head just to get a wider view than just his periphery and caught your little smile while examining a power cell. You continued to search for the remainder of the list until the last item was ticked off.

“Do you honestly think the damage is that bad?” Cal thought out loud.

“I… I guess so. But we can only really tell once we come and look at her,”

“Ditto. But still, don’t you think these are a bit… excessive?”

That prompted you to check the list again, seeing that you’ve completed the list, you look at the haul and start to agree with Cal. The two of you exchange looks and give each other a resigned shrug of the shoulders. It didn’t take long for both of you to stay in the shop, but the whole time, you did what Cal has told you earlier—to stay close to him.

You approach the counter and paid for the parts, fishing out and counting the credits of silver and gold from the pouch that Greez handed over to you.

“Pleasure doing business with ya,” Seff bade as he swept the credits to him with his forearm.

“Thanks for the help,” you casually said, grabbed the rucksack, and then turned away.

The pair of you exited the shop and you can finally be yourself again with Cal. You slung the rucksack over your shoulder as you made your way to the ship.

“Persistent bugger, wasn’t he?” you quipped jokingly to Cal. It was your own way to relieving yourself from that rather awkward encounter, he concurred with a chuckle.

“Well, did you get all of them?” Greez greeted you from the entry ramp.

You beamed and showed off the rucksack to the Lateron, “Yup! Surprisingly, this one shop had it all. I hope you have the tools for it, though.”

“Oh sure, there’s an entire toolbox waiting for you in the engine room,”

Cal went ahead to the engine room—which was essentially his bedroom—and searched for the particular toolbox that the captain referred to. There were only a few compartments installed in the wall of the room, so it didn’t take long for the redhead to find the said toolbox.

The damage was in the room where the escape pods are, but the affected area was the auxiliary engine—which occupied an entire wall on the opposite side. The size of the auxiliary engine room was strictly enough for two people. You were in first and Cal followed behind after bringing in the tools, you were undisturbed by the hiss of the door and the clattering of the metal.

“Mind if I join in?”

“Come on, the more the merrier!” you squeaked.

You dismantle the grate covering the internals of the power hatch. You take a step back to get a full view of the damage—tendrils of gray smoke wafted out of the narrow crooks between the conduits, tiny orange sparks flew out of the dangling wires. It was an electrical mess.

“This is gonna take a while,” you groaned sardonically.

“Well, we better start then,” Cal gently bumps his fist against your shoulder and approaches the power hatch.

You set down the rucksack of parts and went one by one on which goes where. Being the expert scrapper that Cal was, he worked much quicker and handier, though that didn’t bother you—you’re just glad you weren’t the only one that’s going to tinker the Mantis until it’s completely repaired.

To keep your boredom at bay, you fished out the foldable headphones from your jacket’s inner pocket—you fix the gadget on your head, a single button on the right earpiece prompted a song to play. Even at a low volume, given the silence that hung in the room with you and Cal, he was able to hear and make out the song just by listening in on the rhythm and muffled lyrics.

“Mou houlingting gaan Sugaan Essena…”

He had to pause from unscrewing the auxiliary compressor when he heard you softly sing out those lyrics. Of course, he recognized it—it was The HU! When he turned his head, he found you lost in the song and found your antics quite adorable—bobbing your head to the rhythm, parroting the percussion with your fingernails tapping against the metal, and even strumming an imaginary fiddle in the air with your fingers assumingly flicking in the same pace, intensity, and timing as the actual guitarist.

It took you a second to acknowledge that Cal has been watching your little concert with yourself, you noticed it in your peripheral vision. This time, he didn’t dare to hide the smile—his main reaction of endearment to seeing you getting too lost in the song.

“You listen to The HU?”

You pulled down your headphones, “Yeah, I do! I love that band. Sorry, was my volume too loud?”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. I love that band as much as you do!”

Your eyes lit up in the poorly-lit engine room. You take off the right earpiece and offered, “You wanna listen in too?”

Cal nodded and you scooted yourself closer to him; your headphone was the kind that can have the headband extended or be safely split into two for sharing—you did the latter and fixed it on his ear. The slightest touch of your fingertips pressing against the side of his face was enough to make his heart skip a beat. His eyes became shifty as they struggle to look away and avoid eye contact from you, hoping that you would never notice the blush burning all over his face.

“There we go,”

The song continued to play in both of your ears. It’s already reached the chorus, and your spontaneous reaction to hearing that climatic portion was to belt out your best impression of the main singer’s pitch, accompanied with the fade-out at the last syllable. Cal and yourself did this in your own tones, it didn’t matter if it was off-key or that your pitches didn’t match in some parts, both of you enjoyed the song regardless.

When the iconic chorus—the namesake of the song—came in once more, for a moment, the two of synched and sang your hearts out while facing in front of each other. It felt like the two of you were doing your own musical gig inside the engine room when you’re supposed to be working on the repairs.

However, you went the extra mile—you mimicked the guitar riff that followed after the chorus and worked on the auxiliary engine panel at the same time. When you caught Cal looking at you again, you snapped out of your performer alter ego and awkwardly laughed.

“Sorry, I just… I tend to do this when I work. It’s a bad habit,”

“No, it’s perfectly fine. You seem to be having fun anyway, so I wouldn’t wanna wish to ruin that,”

You cleared your throat and bit your lip. The awkwardness gradually dissolved, the two of you exchanged shy smiles and continued to work and listen to the music spilling out of your headphones’ earpieces. You went on with your tinkering and repairing until the ship went dark: all the lights went off in a cascading succession, the engine hum had gone totally silent, and the door that the two of you came through was stuck and sealed shut.

“What happened?” exclaimed Cal.

“I don’t know! I can’t see anything!”

“BD, give us some light, would you?”

“Beee-woo!”

A switch clicked in BD-1 and his little lens was able to light up your spot in the room. The tiny droid shines his light on the entire panel in search of the potential cause of the ship’s blackout.

“It can’t be me—I was working on the secondary hyperspace compressor.”

“Can’t be me, either. I’m working on the wiring,” Cal’s eyes scaled up to the top of the engine panel. He points at something with his soldering gun. “There’s the auxiliary’s main power cell. That must have went out while we were working.”

“Then it must be from the outside, could be Greez,” you assumed.

“Yeah, but we can’t waste our breaths slamming the door calling for help like trapped scrap rats,”

You looked around the room, squinting your eyes to see better with the little light you’re left with through the cracks and gaps of the ship. You tap Cal’s shoulder, with BD-1 subsequently aiming the spotlight in your general direction.

“Look, there’s a vent. Maybe BD-1 can fit through and tell Greez to switch on the main power grid,” you suggested.

The droid chirped in agreement. He hopped off and skittered towards the said air vent. Cal crept to him, unfastened the screws and removed the grate for BD-1 to crawl into. Without a word, the droid entered the ventilation shaft in the hopes of finding a way out into the main interior of the Mantis.

“Well, I guess we’re stuck here. No point in fixing the ship without any light,” you sighed.

“Yeah, guess we’ll just have to wait for BD,”

Suddenly, a spark livened up your brain with an epiphany.

“Does Greez understand droidspeak?”

There was a silence, you’re hoping for a swift reply from Cal, but it seems to he too had the same realization. He didn’t answer you right away, you assumed that he had returned to the engine panel and probably didn’t catch what you said. You pawed the air, searching for Cal until you felt something solid touch your back and then fall with you.

At first, you didn’t even notice that you didn’t land on the hard, metal floor. In fact, you felt rough fabric and cracked leather on yourself. It took you a bit of a while to realize that you landed on someone else.

“Arrggh, took a wrong step there,” Cal groaned. In the darkness, you heard his voice was too close.

“Oh gods, I’m sorry!” you scramble away to his side and off of him.

You crawl to the wall and press your back against that as you watch the shadow of him toss and turn until he sat up. Your heart raced and your cheeks flared. You were grateful for the blackout obscuring your face, because not a single good excuse exists for you to save yourself if Cal did see the look on your face.

Though, you could’ve sworn you felt his heartbeat pace so quickly underneath his leather armor.

“No, no! I’m fine, [Y/N], really,” he insisted as both of you regain your bearings in the dark.

Either of you have to squint their eyes in order to see better. Only silhouettes appeared in your vision, you can make out the shapes but the facial expressions were difficult to read.

“Well, guess we’re stuck here,” Cal pointed out.

“And we even sent out BD-1 to tell Greez about this—and I know for a fact that he’s not fluent in droidspeak,”

“Crap, you’re right,”

Both of you released a concurrent sigh. Cal drew his legs closer to his chest, crossed them together and secured them around his arms. The stale air hummed through the vents—including the open one where BD-1 went through—but both of you cannot deny that the air’s gotten a bit thinner.

“I hope they’ll get his message,” you mumbled.

“I’m sure Cere will fill Greez in if he doesn’t get BD-1,”

Cal took a slow, deep breath and nestled himself next to you. The silence was a bore and you decided to engage in small talk while waiting for BD-1 to come through.

“So, when did you first find out about The HU?”

“Well, I was in a cantina having a drink with an old friend, Prauf, after working hours—it was the end of the work week, so we decided to unwind—and then this cantina had no live performers that time, which was a usual thing on that particular day. So instead, they had their speakers on and put on a virtual performance—they played that band’s top record and it just stuck to me.”

“Which is Sugan Essena?”

“Exactly. How did you come to know the band?”

“Nothing memorable, really. Overheard it being played from a frequency channel in a store owner’s radio. Coincidentally, a few of my friends knew it and I just had to ask.”

The two of you got lost in each other’s own stories over something mutual, which felt genuinely nice. The air gradually became stale by the minute, the longer the time seemed to have dragged on, the more anxious you became; Cal sensed this and he wanted to comfort you so bad, but he was afraid that it might turn out awkward or worse.

The least he could do—at least, that’s what he thought in his mind—is to stay close and keep you company.

You felt him scramble in the dark, two soft but heavy thumps sounded on the floor—he had just stretched out his legs and let out a leisurely exhale. You felt his sleeve brush against your bare arm.

“So, that Seff guy seemed to like you a lot,” Cal initiated, though he seemed to be disgruntled by his own topic.

You scoffed in the guise of an indifferent laugh, “Guy wasn’t really up in my alley, honestly. I was just trying to be polite as best as I can.”

“Oh? He wasn’t your type?”

You shake your head, quite fervently and added, “Nah. I have someone else in mind.”

You looked to him when you said the latter and managed a smile. A ray of light persisting through a gap in the ceiling shone over his left eye, making his jade iris twinkle and you watched it shift ever so slightly. His eyes were one of your favorite features of him—placing first place before his delightful freckles and his fiery, scarlet hair in third—but it was your own little secret.

To a certain degree, Cal was relieved, but then the next thing he thought about was whether or not to admit his feelings to you. He’s troubled himself with the thought for perhaps a couple of months now—according to your own counting—that you curiously wonder if he has ever felt it.

Surely he has, being quite the empath that he is. You’ve come to the presumption that both of you are just too shy to admit it to each other.

The predicament has made you forget about your headphones, which you took off and unintentionally dropped to the floor when the blackout happened; the music was still playing but it had already switched to a new song. Cal used the Force to bring it to his hands.

“Air’s getting a little thin, don’t you think?” you blurted softly.

Cal didn’t reply; he saw that your eyes are droopy, your breathing is slow and labored, and your face relaxed into a calm expression. He can barely suck in enough air to fill both lungs. The deprivation was getting to him as well.

Your entire body felt heavy too. Your eyes gaze down on Cal’s open hand facing up. You clench your own fist while fighting your hand from inching closer—you came to a stalemate with yourself and flimsily plopped your hand on the floor, just mere centimeters away from Cal’s. You parroted his posture—head leaning against the wall, staring at the ceiling, conserving your air with slow, calm breaths.

Bit by bit, you felt warm flesh nudge against the curve of your hand between the thumb and the forefinger—it was Cal’s knuckle. Your fingers flinched, and slowly he intertwines his with yours; it began with the first inches until it evolved into a clasp. You comforted each other with the warmth radiating from your hands that is now spreading across your bodies. It was a little silly, naïve idea at first, but you could’ve sworn you felt his heartbeat follow after yours.

A relieved sigh escapes your nostrils as you manage a smile—not bothering to hide it this time, you thought: if he sees it, so be it. Cal indeed felt your smile and did so himself. He dared to squeeze your hand softly but securely while the two of you wait out the power to return. Just when everything seemed to be taking too long and hopeless… the lights burst back into life, all the air from the surface blew in vigorously into the auxiliary engine room, and the entire power panel bellowed!

“Oh good, the power’s back on,” Cal mumbled, slightly groggy from the oxygen deprivation.

“Good, I knew BD would come through—and Greez too,”

You and Cal, together, fixated your eyes on your intercrossed hands. He shot you a fond, tender gaze that’s usually paired with his boyishly charming smile—the kind of smile that’s so hard to read, whether he was teasing with you or mischievously planning to mess around. You’re convinced that it was the former.

“Shall we get to work?”

“Let’s take a breather for a few minutes…” you shuffled in your seat, not planning to let go of his hand any time soon. “This actually feels nice.”

Cal slowly lowered his head so his cheek rests atop your head. You felt his thumb run across the skin of the back of your hand while the two of you rest and recover until, eventually, both of you drifted to a nap.

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creative-frequency · 4 years

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Inquisitor!Cal Kestis x Reader: Overtime

Word count: 2917 Pairing: Inquisitor!Cal Kestis x Reader Notes: Looks like this is turning into a series and I’m okay with that.

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“There is a package for you.”

The post droid offers the small box forward and your brows scrunch together in thought. “What package?”

“Spare parts designated as ‘2-5-7-K’.”

That kriffing–

It’s the new AC control panel and the connectors that needed changing because the old ones were so worn that the door could break any moment. Your face flushes hot just thinking back to the last time you were near that door. Inquisitor Cal hasn’t been bothering you since – not while awake at least. It’s amazing how gentle scenarios your mind can dream up about someone who freaks you out.

Because you’re a coward, you send a droid to find the Inquisitor and ask him when would be alright to invade his privacy in order to fix the door and the air conditioning. From the bottom of your trembling heart you wish he will be off-planet on a mission during the repairs.

The droid comes back with a breathlessly recorded message. It probably found the Inquisitor in his usual prancing grounds at the dojo.

“Tomorrow morning [sounds of a lightsaber hitting something metallic] should be okay.”

You don’t know if it’s good or extremely bad that you won’t have more time to mentally prepare yourself to enter his quarters. And he didn’t say anything about his own whereabouts, so you’ll just need to assume the worst. Great.

Cal is surprised to hear from you even if it isn’t directly but through a droid. It messes up his rhythm and he breaks the training droid in an attempt at doing two different things at the same time.

Even if you haven’t seen him in the past few days, he has been watching you. It’s painfully evident that you’re not the most aware of your surroundings when working. The uneasy feeling that sometimes overcomes you in the middle of doing something utterly trivial, it’s all his influence: The intense stare tingling in the back of your neck. The sudden cool air current, almost like a breath on your cheek. All of it originates from how his pulse quickens when he sees you.

Cal cannot explain it but it’s not all bothersome. It’s intriguing. He feels something completely new as his eyes trace the shape of your face, the edges of your body under the uniform and the movements of your fingers and steps. You always seem to mind your own business but still are well-respected and over encumbered with work around the Fortress.

His mind tangles from thinking about how to start a conversation. He doesn’t have a reason; he just wants to try to have some kind of social contact with you. He has felt the need for companionship, just someone to talk to, ever since he was appointed an Inquisitor and it became obvious that his brothers and sisters would have nothing to say to him – a former Jedi, the rising star of the Rebellion. The past means nothing to him anymore but some people don’t let go so easily.

Cal doubles his training efforts to have the next day arrive faster.

For you, the morning arrives too soon.

You can barely sleep a wink. The dark liquid in your morning cup drains right into your soul, but the substitute for natural caffeine works like a faulty speeder engine. The jumpstart energy spike never comes and looks like it’s one of those days when you’re going to need to push the proverbial speeder.

Dragging your legs while a happily beeping droid carries the tools and spare parts beside you, you make your way towards the infamous 257K. Each step brings you closer to doom and demise.

Swallowing helps nothing as your heart beats in your throat and your whole body trembles. You hit your knuckles sharply against the metal door, silently praying to every pagan deity you can think of. Seconds feel like hours as you wait for a reply or the door to open, but nothing happens.

You knock again, possibly a bit more lightly, unable to believe your insane luck.

“Looks like no one’s home,” you say to the droid. Stupid relief spreads all the way to the tip of your toes. While humming to yourself, you use the maintenance key card to open the door to the residential quarters.

The rooms the Inquisitors and the Fortress key personnel get are so much larger and fancier than yours. While you have only one room plus bathroom, this one has at least three different rooms, fully furnished and including all sorts of appliances. But then again, you should consider yourself lucky to have your own room instead of sharing quarters like most of the maintenance level staff.

Looking around with interest and criticizing the familiar Imperial-style decorations in your mind, you fail to realize that you’re, in fact, not alone in the room.

The droid next to you beeps. The shape of a ginger bed hair waddles into your field of view – shirtless and yawning.

You’ve never been more certain about a moment becoming your last of existence.

“Relax. You don’t need to be afraid of me,” the Inquisitor says with mirth in his tone and his eyes skim your immobilized frame up and down. His voice his still hoarse from sleep.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, sir,” you peep in a tiny voice, barely forcing any sound outside your throat. There is absolutely no place on the man you can let your gaze befall, not the eyes, not the chest, definitely not on the lower body, so you scour the walls.

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Cal assures. He feels something immensely satisfying at looking at you quiver in a mix of fear and respect, but it irks him when you refuse to meet his gaze.

You don’t believe any of his words but can’t help relaxing your shoulders.

“Thanks… I guess.”

Cal grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and settles to stare at you while emptying the drink. Seeing him shirtless doesn’t help to erase the filthy dreams from your memory. In truth, you’re genuinely sure they’ll start having some interesting plot twists from now on.

“So… I’ll switch the AC panel now,” you say aloud, pretending that the room is empty.

“Knock yourself out.”

You turn to eyeball the Inquisitor in bewilderment because of his choice of words.

“That’s what they say, right? It’s a figure of speech.” He sounds uncertain, but you nod slowly.

“Right, sir,” you say and decide to focus back on the job. The sooner it’s done, the sooner you’ll get out of this flytrap.

“You can drop the ‘sir’,” the Inquisitor says and hesitates for a bit. “It sounds weird.”

You try to wrestle your curiosity down but lose the battle. The Inquisitor earns your full attention with arms folded over your chest. Though his bare pecs instantly draw some of it, as well as the thin line of hair leading down into what you assume to be government-issued Inquisitorial pajama pants. They’re Imperial black and not at all complementing to his form. You bite your lip and feel the heat rise up your neck. So much for not staring.

“What should I call you then?” A bold question perhaps, but with each passing moment you feel less like he is going to run you through with a lightsaber.

He chuckles. “I’m Cal.”

You tap the name plate on your chest. “Well, this is me. I guess you would’ve already known that if you’d been interested in my ID last time.”

The mood in the room freezes. Cal looks at you with shock that quickly turns into a hint of a smirk. You wonder how fast he will catch you if you try to run. Learning to keep your big mouth shut in the presence of an Inquisitor would be a beneficial skill. It’s a wonder your career in the Empire is as long as it is.

You suck in a breath and stutter: “I-I didn’t mean–”

“You’re right.” He sits down on a stool by the kitchen nook’s counter and carefully places the almost empty water bottle on the surface.

“I’ll just start working now,” you say quietly and huff out the air in your lungs. Another dodged blaster bolt.

You try not to sneak glances at Cal while you work and he is hovering around in the kitchen and apparently making some breakfast for himself. The smell of real coffee soon fills the room and it’s so delicious that it almost brings tears to your eyes. It must be some really high quality stuff.

Cal miraculously lets you work in peace and the only sounds in the room are your short commands at the maintenance droid. You’re itching to turn and look at what the Inquisitor is doing, but resist the urge. Switching a thermostat unit and a control panel is not really a difficult or time-consuming task and you’re done in record time, eager to get out.

“Done already?” Cal asks as soon as you screw in the last piece.

“Yeah. I’ll take a look at the door next.” You wipe your brow even though the room is cool because of the broken AC. The unit starts immediately blowing warm air.

“Come here first. There’s enough for you too.” Cal taps the stool next to him and you feel the bottom of your stomach drop. You miss the slight shaking of his hand against the dark leather.

“Uh. I, um, can’t. I’m working. Sorry,” you mumble half of the words but the Inquisitor still stares at you with a persistent smile, looking almost like a normal person – a shirtless, strikingly attractive person with the ability to kill you with just his willpower.

He taps the stool again. “C’mon, I know you think it smells delicious. No one needs to know you’re taking an extra break. I’ve got your back, I swear.”

For some wicked, self-destructive reason, you find yourself trusting his words. Or possibly it’s the amazing scent of coffee that lures you slowly to plant your butt on the stool way too close to the half-naked Inquisitor and you don’t know what in the absurd situation makes you the most nervous.

“How do you know that? That I thought it smelled delicious?” you ask quietly as Cal reaches out to grab a cup, fills it and places it in front of you. The coffee is of the perfect mellow dark brown color and just inhaling the scent makes you quiver. “Thanks…”

Cal smiles as you dare a glance at him. “I just felt it.”

He really wants to add the loud flustered feeling you emitted the moment you realized he was in the room, but decides against it. Teasing you too much would be just cruel.

“I see,” you mumble.

“Try it.” Cal nods towards the cup.

You do as he orders and feel the flush of prickling warmth spread from your tongue to every inch of your body.

“It’s amazing.” You gawk at the cup. You’ve never tasted anything so good. The caffeine substitutes can’t even project a light to the real thing. You quite certainly would kill to be able to drink it every day.

“They call you the head of the droid army, right?” Cal asks casually just to make conversation.

You jolt at the comment. In any other situation it would’ve made you laugh.

He continues: “How long’ve you been here to earn a nickname like that?”

You take another sip of the coffee. Delicious. “A bit over two years. I was working on a Star Destroyer before but got transferred here.”

Cal hums in approval. “A promotion, then?”

“Yeah.” Working in a base is likely safer than being on a ship, so in that sense Cal is right. At the time it just didn’t feel like an upgrade to be dragged to a backwater planet like Nur.

You drink the coffee in an uncanny silence for a while and notice that Cal is doing nothing but leaning his elbows against the counter and looking at you. It’s disturbing and makes your already precocious pulse grow even faster. His cup is already empty.

“I’ve seen you train. It’s very impressive,” you say, unsure whether it’s an okay topic.

“Impressive, huh? Nice to know you think that way about me,” Cal teases and gets you flustered, again.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” you reply dejected. Your heart is running a mile a minute and he probably notices it with his stupid senses.

Cal leans towards you with an intense look in his eyes. You lean as far back as you dare without falling off the stool. Your eyes are torn between his freckles, lips and pecs. It’s all making you giddy and nervous.

“W-what?” you manage to splutter out.

“You’re just so… I…” He can’t finish the sentence. Why is he so fixated on you? It makes no sense but he lacks the motive to fight it. Cal’s gaze falls from your eyes to your lips and you’ve seen that look before.

“Are you gonna kiss me?” you ask rather wryly, hoping the tone will mask your inner turmoil.

“Do you want me to?” Cal looks at you intently, hiding his astonishment.

You feel his shallow breaths on your skin as he gets closer and chills run up your spine. The whirlpool of emotions spins faster, making you feel dizzy and surreal. You’re scared and intrigued by the fiery look in his eyes.

“…If you want to.”

This is not actually happening.

“Yes or no?”

Cal takes your chin and you suck in a short breath.

“I’ve got somewhere to be soon, so you need to hurry up.” The words come out sassier than intended and you relish at seeing the smile that spreads to Cal’s face. His eyes flit downwards to your lips and he stops himself from hesitating any longer.

You let out the most obscene sound when his mouth pushes against your slightly open lips and you know it’s bad but you just don’t care. His fingers move up your jaw and touching your hair makes another wave of shivers course through you. You take his free hand and press it onto your waist, which leads to him pulling you up and the stool falls behind you. You hum at feeling the heat of his exposed skin against yours. The kiss deepens and your tongue peeks into his mouth. Cal pushes you against the counter and you’re finally trapped in his clutches.

You’re making out with the one of the most dangerous things in the Fortress, possibly in the whole Empire, and for some reason it’s the best thing that has happened to you on Nur.

“Why mmh–” you try to start when Cal breaks the kiss to draw in a heavy breath, but he doesn’t allow you to finish another word. His cheeks are equally flushed as yours, heart beating loudly in his ears but you both ignore the signs of nervousness and let the craving for being touched overflow.

Cal’s hands wander further down and cup your ass, pulling your hips flush to his. Even if the Imperial pajama pants don’t give much of a show, they certainly allow you to feel it. The want and flustering unease makes your cheeks burn. Cal realizes you can feel his arousal and your pace breaks when he shifts awkwardly.

You pull away from each other, panting and eyes wide. Cal wipes his mouth to the back of his hand and you’ve never seen anyone look so hot.

For a fleeting moment, the fiery, challenging look in his eyes persists and you’re burning to respond to it. Few short breaths dissipate the heavy mood enough to restore some sense into you.

“Wow, I–, that was… um,” your mouth opens and closes, some resemblance of words coming out in jarring patches.

Cal is definitely as equally flustered. The maintenance droid, whose existence you both had already happily forgotten, beeps to signal that it’s almost time for your next task. You’ll be late of schedule because of this.

“Uhh, I should… go.” You motion towards the general direction of the door but can’t take your eyes off the man before you. The man, who you just kissed. Who you don’t know at all. Who is an Imperial Inquisitor.

“Ah kriff, I forgot I’ve got somewhere to be too,” Cal huffs, glances at the chronometer on the wall and runs a hand through his hair. His chest heaves with each breath, trying to pace its rhythm.

You don’t know what to say. Just like that, Cal disappears into the other room and you stand baffled next to counter. Maybe trysts like this aren’t such a big deal to him. There is still some coffee in your cup and it would be a shame to waste it, so you down the liquid in hasty sips.

Before you’re done piling your things onto the droid, Cal emerges from what you assume to be his bedroom in full Inquisitor garb and the sight makes you feel a tingle that’s not altogether shaped by fear anymore.

“I hope you can fix the door before I get back.”

He winks.

The sound of his lightsaber blade erupting straight into the door control panel elicits a short scream out of you.

Before you can recover from the shock and start screaming at Cal, he is already gone with a grin and you’re facing some serious overtime at work.

Part 3

#cal kestis x reader #cal kestis #inquisitor cal kestis x reader #inquisitor cal kestis #jedi fallen order #swjfo #swjfo fanfiction #star wars #my writings

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