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cosmicjoke · 4 months

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Levi and the importance of staying true to ones heart:

I'm gonna' talk about another aspect of Levi's choice in Shinganshina, but first, I want to dedicate this post to all the little bitch eruri shippers out there who are too scared to come off anon, who now can't send me hate messages over it since I turned anon asks off and ya'll are a bunch of cowards. Hope you enjoy this one, because it's for you.

I was thinking about an ask I got a few days ago, about why Erwin chose Hange over Levi to take over as commander, and why in turn Hange chose Armin, and I answered that I thought it had a lot to do with Levi's own philosophy of "no regrets", that is, Levi's insistence on always following ones heart, doing what one feels is the right thing in any, given situation. Not necessarily right in terms of what the outcome will be, but right in terms of how your choice will sit with your conscience.

I think obviously, this aspect of Levi's character, his belief in always doing what your heart tells you to do, is evidenced by his choice in Shinganshina, to give Armin the serum and to let Erwin die.

Putting aside all arguments regarding whether it was the right thing to do "for humanity", I think what maybe people don't focus on enough when it comes to this moment is whether it was the right thing to do morally.

I've talked before about how Levi's choice was really an act of compassion over ideology, here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/737207612761915392/the-importance-of-compassion-over-ideology-levis?source=share And I think it's worth revisiting this aspect of his choice again.

I think people get so caught up in the concept of "the greater good" when discussing "Attack on Titan", and this moment in particular, that they miss one of the main overarching themes of the story, which is that the "greater good", particularly, things done in the name of the greater good, can actually lead to horrific atrocities and cruelty, and that the idea of the "greater good" itself is based in subjectivity, and never absolute. It isn't something we should ever prioritize over the tangible and concrete reality before us. That tangible and concrete reality being the things we can do to alleviate the suffering of others now, rather than hoping for and pursuing some idyllic utopian future where nobody ever has to suffer, and, ironically, causing people to suffer in the pursuit of that goal.

I talk a lot too about how I don't think Levi has ever held any great faith in the concept of a better world. I think Levi is a realist. Someone who understands and accepts the bleak reality of life on this planet, someone who accepts human nature, who knows that a utopian existence isn't really possible because of that reality, but who, despite that, still maintains a great depth of kindness and compassion toward others, still values life and the right of others to live.

His support of his comrades in the Survey Corps has more to do with his wish to fight for them, to support their own, personal dream of a better world, than it does his own belief in that better world. He thinks of Erwin as a "greater existence" than himself, to quote Isayama, because he believes Erwin is able to conceptualize and believe in a better world, to see that possibility, while Levi himself can't.

What Levi is fighting for is people, not a concept. That's always been true of Levi, I think. We see that manifest in multiple ways, multiple times throughout the story. In Levi's first appearance, when he holds that dying soldier's hand and promises him that his sacrifice will give Levi the strength to keep fighting. When he gives Petra's patch to that grieving soldier. When he goes out of his way to help the people of Trost. When he saves Ramzi, endangering their mission to rescue a single child. When he refuses to accept right away that Eren has gone rogue, to turn on him, because so many of his comrades died for him and Levi can't bear the thought of them having sacrificed their lives for nothing. And we see it manifest in his choice to let Erwin die. He prioritizes a person over a concept. And I think that fact emphasizes the great morality of Levi's choice, and ultimately, the rightness of it. Concepts are just that. They aren't real. They're ideas. But people are real. People exist. People matter.

Armin talks early on about the need to abandon ones humanity in order to achieve victory. Erwin's entire character revolves around this premise. He's seen as a great and visionary leader because of his ability to detach himself from human emotion and make tough decisions and sacrifices. Basically, for his ability to engage the concept of the ends justifying the means. Whatever it takes to "win".

But then, what does winning even mean, what does salvation for humanity mean, if in the pursuit of it, we lose our humanity?

Levi talks about being willing to take on the role of a "monster" if it means nobody else having to. He understands that, if people are forced to lose their humanity in pursuit of freedom, then freedom itself is rendered meaningless. There is no salvation for humanity if we ourselves lose sight of what it means to be human. Levi says he's willing to become a monster, that he's willing to lose his humanity, as long as no one else has to. He's willing to make that sacrifice.

But what Levi's choice in Shinganshina shows us is that he actually wasn't able to abandon his humanity at all. He never was a monster, and never actually could be. Because he couldn't, in the end, look upon the suffering of another human being, and ignore it.

That goes back to what I said about why Erwin chose Hange, and why Hange chose Armin. To be an effective leader, in order to achieve "victory" of some abstract goal, one has to be able to abandon their humanity. And Levi can't.

Levi is the most compassionate and empathetic character in AoT. And part of the reason for that is because of the inherent nature of that compassion. He isn't able to give up his humanity, he isn't able to lose it, because it's too much a part of him, too deeply rooted in who he actually is. It's the driving force behind everything he is and does. The beating, bleeding heart and soul of the Survey Corps. His presence, his role within the story, in many ways, functions as the moral compass by which both the audience and the other characters are guided.

Even in the face of violence, war, atrocity, and prejudice, even in pursuit of some concept of "the greater good", Levi can't bring himself to actual cruelty. Because that's what it would have been, to give Erwin the serum. It would have been an act of cruelty, against a man who didn't deserve it. And, again, if in the pursuit of a better tomorrow, we ourselves become cruel, pitiless, unempathetic, merciless, how can a better tomorrow actually be achieved? What salvation is there for humanity if, by the end, we have no humanity left in ourselves?

Erwin was able to abandon his humanity in pursuit of a personal dream, and we saw where it ultimately lead him. Into a state of such utter depression, and so wracked by guilt, that he became ineffectual, needing Levi to do the right thing for him. Erwin had strayed down a path that went against his heart.

That's something Levi was never able to do. Go against his heart. Go against what he felt was right. The only time we really see Levi do something that doesn't sit right with him is when he helps Hange to torture Sannes, under Erwin's orders and as a favor to Hange. Levi is noticeably less enthused about the whole affair than Hange, taking no actual pleasure in the exercise, even visibly distraught over Hange's level of cruelty. And still we see after how heavily that weighs on him. He completely forgets to inform Historia of the information they tortured Sannes for in the first place, and then explodes on her when she refuses out of self-pity to take on the role of queen, threatening to render the whole thing pointless. Do what your heart tells you, this is something Levi emphasizes to others again and again, which is what I mean when I say he acts as the moral compass of the story. Do the best you can, make the choice you won't regret. That doesn't mean the choice that will have the best outcome. That means the choice which will sit well with your conscience.

And I think in order to understand Levi's choice in Shinganshina, one needs to understand what sort of choice it was. Levi's choice, in its purist form, was a choice of the heart. It was a moral choice, decided upon through conscience, through the understanding, at an intrinsic level, what was right, rather than some ideological pursuit with an intangible endpoint.

He knew it was wrong to bring Erwin back into the world, and to put the same expectations on him to be the great leader he had been. He knew, in its way, that to do so would be to betray his own declaration, of taking on the role of a monster for himself so long as it spared anyone else from having to do the same. Erwin was corrupted by his dream. The threat of that corruption promised to make him into a monster. And Levi wasn't going to let that happen, just like he said. He wasn't going to allow Erwin to lose his humanity, even if it meant condemning himself.

Whether one wants to argue over Levi's choice being the right choice for humanity's salvation or not, what I don't think is up for discussion is that Levi's choice was, in the end, the right choice morally. And no, that doesn't mean Levi chose Erwin over humanity, or that he sacrificed humanity for Erwin because he loved him. It means he chose compassion over an idea. He chose humanity over a concept. He chose a person over an ideal. Because it was the choice that rejected the ideology and the dogmatism of "the greater good" in favor of something real, which was kindness and mercy for another human being. It was a rejection of cruelty and barbarism in pursuit of some evanescent and ultimately meaningless concept.

There is no greater good without morality. There is no salvation for humanity without mercy or compassion.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #Erwin Smith #meta #commentary #analysis #suck my big fat one eruris #you bunch of pansy-ass cowards

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themastermarkus · 7 months

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Why Erwin Smith in Season 3 and the Choice in Midnight Sun Doesn't Work.

In Season 3 (excuse me for using “seasons” to mark out the arcs, as I do mean the equivalent time in the manga, it’s just simpler since this problem is spread out between all the arcs in that season), Isayama sets up Erwin’s intense guilt over sending soldiers to their deaths for his goal of wanting to learn the truth of humanity and the titans—dspite it making no sense for him to feel like his goal is selfish, as finding out the origin of the titans is already established to be part of the goal of the Survey Corps. It’s fine for Erwin to feel guilty for making calls that lead to peoples’ deaths, but Isayama seems to write Erwin as though he is objectively in the moral wrong despite the fact that using people to fulfill his personal goal is indistinguishable from if he just took over the Survey Corps and kept doing what they already did. I suppose it might be implied that he encouraged more research about the titans which… is not a bad thing when they fight the titans. Otherwise in the rebellion arc he has Survey Corps soldiers dying for him in fights against the government, but I never got the impression that he was forcing anyone into it under orders.

It feels very out of character for Levi not to choose to save Erwin. Kenny’s line about “everyone being a slave to something” that’s referenced in the moment of that decision doesn’t work because Erwin has not been shown to have a harmful, slavish obsession, just a personal goal that he throws himself into more recently since the opportunity to achieve it has presented itself (Not to mention that Erwin is like… metres away from his goal when this choice is being made, after which point he would no longer “be a slave to it”). Not giving the serum to Erwin does not feel like a choice that Levi, the character, would make given how close he and Erwin are implied to be. Instead, it feels like Levi is making the choice as if he only knows as much about Erwin and Armin as the audience does and is making a choice that could reasonably go either way because WE know both characters roughly as much, or Armin even better than Erwin, really. The problem is that this doesn’t realistically consider Levi’s experiences with each character, which is the choice between a man he’s known for years who changed his life dramatically, who he follows loyally and holds a lot of respect and affection for, and a kid that he’s come to care for in the general way that Levi cares for all the cadets, but he’s only known for like… a year max. It feels like choosing to save Armin is forced upon Levi because Isayama wanted Erwin to die and Armin to live and get the Colossal Titan because he came up with those story beats and was going to shove his way into them somehow.

On that note: Armin is just… I would say objectively the wrong choice. Armin is a character who is shown to be clever and driven (and everyone talks about how smart he is), he’s good at deduction but he’s not a tactician or a leader. He is brought back because Isayama wanted to have him, Mikasa, and Eren once again be crucial to the story at the end of it, not because it makes sense for the Survey Corps to sacrifice their COMMANDER for a cadet who has shown to be worth something, but clearly isn’t a replacement for a man who seems to be the best leader they’ve ever had. I think the choice of Armin could be more valid if Erwin was mentoring him (though still a stretch considering there’s nothing wrong with Erwin [at least nothing worth the mercy killing that Isayama seems to be portraying not using the serum on him as] and he’s only like 35 or something), but he’s not. Armin is only really, functionally important to the Survey Corps because he is close to Eren. Also, while this is probably my least-strong argument against picking Armin, but I feel like if Isayama wanted him to be convincingly still alive at that point, he probably should’ve had Armin a bit further away from Bertholdt’s explosion. That boy isn’t just externally burnt, he should have died like… immediately.

And don’t get me wrong, I don’t even dislike Armin, nor do I think that Levi wouldn’t feel a bit of guilt for not saving him, I just hate bad writing that seems to rely so heavily on plot convenience, and I think that this point of the story is where it was really affirmed that things were going to go downhill pretty consistently (barring most of Reiner’s part at the beginning of the Marley arc, but that’s another subject).

P.S. I'm currently reading the manga for this part after having only watched the anime, so I might have more to say later, though I doubt that my opinions on these writing choices will change considering that I don't think the anime cut out SO MUCH that these choices will instead make sense.

#aot critical #attack on titan #aot season 3 spoiler #erwin smith #levi ackerman #spoilers #shingeki no kyojin

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tender-hearteddd · 1 year

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when aot was just abt to end, there were leaks ofc as there always are lol abt eren not really achieving any of his plans. and so much of the aot fandom, who have never lived through war, were genuinely upset over this. eren literally commits global genocide, he and his plan doesn’t deserve to achieve anything. especially not anything that would benefit him.

eren wasn’t one of my favorites until season 4 because of how utterly fucked up he is. he was a tragic MC who started off as a hero and as the story progressed, became a monster. even though we know what leads to his corruption, genocide is still wrong actually and having a characters worst fear come to life due to their own actions is the sort of tragic irony isayama loves. we’ve already seen isayama do this with reiner, zeke and grisha. it’s satisfying yet devastating at the same time how harsh the story is on them.

and the story should’ve been a lot more harsher to eren instead of the positive reaffirmation he got in 139 and from most of the fandom. eren claims the rumbling was for paradis, like thst shit didn’t kill off most of paradis’ population, and than he claims that it was for his friends (like pieck, who he has never even had a conversation with) but than he admits it was for himself - and it wasn’t satisfying at all because isayama wanted us to feel bad for eren and it worked. never mind the fact that eren killed his own mom, that he manipulated his own father for taking the FT for his own gain, that he annihilated 80% of the world - he did it for his friends 😊 so it’s okay! friendship >>>> genocide 😝

aot taking a very strong stance against eren’s actions and plan, denouncing them as wrong (bc they are) and showing them that nothing good comes out of them is wayyyyyy better the woobification and the mini redemption arc we got from him in the last chapter.

this is why i hate it when aot fans talk abt aot like it’s the greatest anti-war anime ever made. i think majority of aot fans are westerners or come from developed countries. it’s easier to understand war when ur watching cartoons of it instead of actually living through it. a huge part of the fandom justifies eren’s genocide, even with characters explicitly condemning him. do you really think it’s clear with its anti-war message when all we got was a few sad faces and a huge thank you from the main cast? one of the main themes in aot is the moral grayness of the world. the warriors did what they did because they were child soldiers trying to protect their families, EMA would’ve done the same. the scouts raided liberio (and were heavily against it). and masses of innocent people died in the name of other groups interests. there were literally no winners in this at all.

but why have characters that should’ve narratively and thematically been against eren suddenly forgive and praise him?

why break all the characterization, break all those different point of views, for the warriors specifically, if not for the final woobification of eren?

eren could’ve had one of the most extraordinary corruption arcs in all of anime just for that to be ruined and i will forever be mad abt it

#ending defenders dni #we are not gonna argue abt this if you see this just look away 😭#if you haven’t actually lived through war #if you haven’t actually had to see people dying due to war #if you haven’t had to go through the humiliation of being a refugee #than you have no reason to defend this atrocious piece of anti war media #anti-war media made by those from countries of imperial power are always really bad #idk i just hate when westerners talk abt war #over the past few weeks #my homeland has been routinely bombed and attacked #and while i try to ignore this deep seated feeling of anguish inside of me #i go onto tumblr #and i see bitches woobifying a fictional white man for the genocide he commits #and seeing pple praise aot as an anti-war piece of media is what prompted this post #being a refugee in this country is so funny lol #also my homeland is one of the countries that has the most child soldiers in the world #which is why i think i relate more to the warriors than anything #aot could’ve been so great if it was written by me #attack on titan critical #attack on titan meta #eren jaeger critical #eren critical #eren jeager meta #eren x reader #eren jeager x reader #aot spoilers #aot isn’t a good anti-war analysis because isayama isn’t a devoted anti imperialist #if ur naming characters after nazis and imperial japanese war ships #i don’t expect u to even be anti-war i expect u to be a bigot #i can’t believe people just swept isayama’s worrying obsession with ww2 under the ruh

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levmada · 1 year

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do you think tween/teen(?) levi (underground levi at the point where he beats that guy up and then kenny leaves) would've at least made some sort of attempt to go look for kenny after he abandoned him? how do you think he felt after kenny left?

I went into more detail with this in this fic i wrote but!

Levi wouldn't go looking for Kenny, not because he didn't want to, but because he knew that it would've been impossible to find him if Kenny didn't want to be found, and I don't think they had a close relationship enough to warrant Levi chasing after him. He knew Kenny wouldn't explain why he left, let alone that he wouldn't be able to convince him to stay.

Kenny was never a proper father figure to him. He taught Levi what it took to survive, and that was all. I feel like this is a fact considering how Levi never hesitated to fight Kenny in s3 and their general disdain towards each other. They never have an emotional moment until Kenny is literally on the brink of death.

Levi's relationship with him growing up was student and teacher. Not even friends. So Levi probably would've thought it was normal at first for Kenny to go somewhere with no idea when he was coming back. When he never did, he undoubtedly felt heartbroken and abandoned. Since Kenny saved him that day, Levi kind of owed him his life, and knew there had to be a reason why Kenny did that. Despite their relationship, Levi had an emotional connection to him (besides the fact that he's an emotional character).

All he was left with is conjecture as to why Kenny might've left, which considering Levi only ever got praise when he showed his strength, he has to come to the conclusion that he simply wasn't good enough to hold Kenny's attention.

An interview excerpt that shines more light on this:

– Indeed, [killing one’s father] as the adversity that enables the protagonist to grow up is a technique used in myths or a movie. So in terms of Kenny and Levi, their relationship is close to father and son……

Isayama: As a kid, Levi used to make himself stronger in order to receive praise from Kenny. But one day, all of a sudden, Kenny was no longer by his side and left him with a question: “Then what is my strength for?” Later, he crossed swords with Kenny during the dethroning of the Monarchy, and at Kenny’s final moment, Levi finally resolved his hard feelings and discontent toward Kenny. It’s one of the “rites of passage” for Levi.

– Does Levi also wish to be acknowledged by Kenny? Isayama: To him, because Kenny was the parent who raised him, he had the desire to be acknowledged by Kenny ever since childhood. It could also be because he had an unspoken misunderstanding about whether Kenny was his own father. In Vol. 17, when Kenny entrusted the serum to Levi, we can say that Levi’s wish [to be acknowledged] was fulfilled. (source)

#levi.thoughts #aot manga #levi aot #levi ackerman #kenny ackerman #captain levi

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onigiri-dorkk · 2 years

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Chapter 56 moment Levi (+Mikasa) Analysis

The first time you hear these words from Levi, it just goes over your head/he just seems like a hardened soldier who doesn’t stop to think about loss. But then you realize… shit… Levi thinks about every single loss, EVERY SINGLE DAY. He goes into every day assuming the people around him won’t make it or won’t be there the next day.

He just dismisses his traumatic way of viewing his life as “Well, I just think like this because I’m not normal and have seen shit. Moving on now...” But??? Like??? Can we stop to think about that? Like how tragic it is to view his daily life like that. Think about how dark and heavy that nonstop mindset would be for Levi.

This is coming from a man who, just the next day/soon after, indeed loses even more of his squad traumatically AGAIN — the soldiers who were standing literally next to him during this speech, exactly like he says. (His pained face illustrated as Kenny shoots their heads was brutal ;-; Poor Levi…)

Once again… Levi has only ever known loss and suffering and outliving people he grows even REMOTELY close to. And always in tragic ways. He deserves to be stone hearted. And yet he reveals every time that he feels deeply — SO deeply. Isayama always says Levi is the most emotional character and it makes sense.

And we see this even in more dialogue of Dimo to his son — he trusts Levi wholeheartedly and calls Levi a good guy, softhearted, despite being awkward and clumsy.

And then you have Mikasa who reaffirms this. She acknowledges the same thing that Dimo does — that Levi is awkward and maybe imperfect in his own way, BUT he is trustworthy and dependable, and his judgment deserves to be followed without question.

She also uses and mirrors Levi’s usual words of asking others to make a choice. Mikasa could just tell them “Levi is right. We need to follow him.” Instead, she says Levi’s orders are the best option, and asks Connie, Sasha and Jean to MAKE A CHOICE to follow and trust him.

In the end, Levi says he will do anything and everything for even some of humanity to see another day. He doesn’t care if that makes him a bad guy in people’s eyes. Again, his wording is awkward and intense, but all he is saying is that he values protecting others and values the idea of tomorrow — he holds onto hope in his own way.

Now we get into Rivamika. If fast forward Levi were to fall in love with Mikasa or anyone for that matter, I can see this mindset easily playing into that love. He wouldn’t care what he has to do and how that reflects on him if it means he can 1) protect who he loves, and 2) have hope of his loved ones seeing tomorrow. He would go ANY lengths for himself seeing tomorrow; what more someone he loves?

He lives daily thinking the people around him won’t last. He only knows that HE himself will outlive everyone because he’s the strongest. Then there’s Mikasa who rolls in and so happens to be the only person he can rely on not dying because she’s strong as fuck. And he calls upon her all the time. And she’s become his right hand woman.

Like she’s probably the only person he could possibly see living forward. And Mikasa sees him the same way. And now they both have their FULLEST trust in each other to 1) live, and 2) help each other to see tomorrow.

So much that even when everyone was STILL doubting Levi when he ordered them to kill the enemies, Mikasa was the only one who instantly said yes to him.

(In the end, as much confidence as he has in Mikasa, I know his inner demons will always chew at him and convince him that she would tragically die like everyone else in his life.)

Anyway! UGH!!! Levi is just so freaking complex and wonderful and sad and tragic but I’m only realizing how hopeful of a human he secretly is. He says a lot of things but there’s always a layer of care beneath the words.

I’ve been having a lot of fun writing a lot of my ff in his perspective because of things like this. I LOVE LEVI holy shit

#rivamika #Ch 54 #onigirianalyzes

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alamwamal · 2 years

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Thoughts on Eren in chapter 139..

In the end Eren wasn't a hero, he was just a human who got bigger power and responsibilities than he could take.

Isayama really took the necessary Evil to another level. Except it may not have been necessary at all, only for Eren.

I also think the whole "runaway with Mikasa " actually really realistic. An 18 years old kid doesn't have in himself to turn his back on his friends to face a horrible fate but it might be less hurtful than committing a mass murder.

It's hard to speak about it really. There are many unexplained things left for speculation. I'm not quite sure what to think about it myself.

We finally got to see Eren's pov in 139. It's kind of too late but seeing the actual thing, it's understandable. Isayama left it until the end because it's controversial and outrageous, we all assumed that Eren refused Zeke's plan because he either: 1) knew it won't work -partially true since it won't free ymir and the paths will still exist, and the souls of some Eldians are still there. 2) He has a better, morally agreeable plan. Which is completely false.

I guess we all assumed that Eren is some sort of the master mind behind it because he knew something and he had a greater goal, not that it'd make it morally acceptable but it'd be understandable.

I've always said that I have a hard time reading Eren's character. His actions has always been unpredictable to me.

During the last arc, I didn't really put much thought into it because something is missing, I've always thought we didn't know something. People who analyzed him amazed me so I believed them.

But you know, apparently, I was right and they were wrong because Eren himself doesn't know.The ending is lackluster, Eren doesn't have a super secret plan that'd solve everything, he's just chosing this himself, he's choosing what he'll regret less no matter how awful it is, he choose his friends' lives even if he won't be there with them.

Then again, Eren killed two men brutally as 9 years old for girl he didn't know. What did we except when enemies attempt to wipe out his race?

We got to know that even though he was controlling the founder he had to make sure not to change the past for some reason. It's anyone's guess but I saw someone say that perhaps the power of the founder allowed him to foresee different outcomes and none of them are good. This makes sense and kind of similar to what we expected from the time loop, as in they already tried alternative methods.

But I'm wondering if he got Dina's memories too since he touched her back then, that's why he was able to see through her eyes.

Things Eren did:

Wiped out all the titans, every last one of them.

He basically ascended and achieved the ultimate form of freedom in the eyes of the humans: he seems to have turned into a bird. Apparently a bird called Jaeger. Or maybe he just haunts birds?! We don't know.

He partially saved paradise and Eldians. He didn't completely save them considering that they're still outnumbered and hated. But considering the fact that the world is a mess and can't fight right away, Eren basically gave paradise a leverage to defend themselves. He didn't save them completely.

I love how just like Zeke spent time with Eren in paths, Eren is spending time with Armin and Mikasa. He kind of fulfilledtheir wishes.

It's amazing how Eren and Armin spent ten years traveling.

And spent 4 years living with Mikasa in a cottagecore fairytale.

He helped Ymir break free and break the curse.

By freeing Ymir, he also kind of realesed the souls of Eldians trapped in Paths for how long. That might've stayed trapped for ever. Maybe Ymir kept them to feel some connection.

By doing so, they all were reborn in another life. The only thing that eases the pain. 😖💔

#19 Apr 2021 #i added a few points though #snk #snk spoilers #snk me

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miyacreampie · 3 years

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Lenny sensei's night class has begun!~♡

“Senpai~♡”

synopsis 💭;; Tanaka gets jealous bc some bitch talking to his man.

note 🖋️;; IT TOOK A WHOLE FUCKIN WEEK TO WRITE THIS. WHY DOES WORK ALWAYS PREVENT ME FROM DOING THE THINGS I LIKE? WHAT THE ACTUAL FU- by the way, ‘Isayama Misaki’ is based off of some asswipe I used to know- also, I ran out of ideas at the end, so it kinda cuts of lf at the good part. I apologize to the anon that requested this.

Requested by anon ♡

Male pronouns used

Tanaka wasn't a jealous man. Or at least he'd like to think so.

(Y/n) was pretty popular around campus, so it wasn't a surprise to see a few fangirls here or there. It kinda reminded him of Oikawa—except (Y/n) didn't exactly pay his fangirls any attention. (And he didn't have an ass as flat as printer paper.) But did that stop them from trying to get into his pants? No.

In all honesty, Ryu felt lucky that he had someone like (Y/n) as a boyfriend, although he didn't like the fangirls—who paid him no mind whenever they were together. It annoyed him that they kept surrounding (Y/n) who clearly wanted nothing to do with them, begging him for dates, one night stands, anything.

To say that Tanaka was mildly uncomfortable was an understatement.

🌇🌇

Today was a bit different. Instead of a crowd of women rushing towards (Y/n), it was just one—; Misaki Isayama. The woman (almost) every guy considered perfect. This was...manageable, but what did she want? Well—at least it was only one girl. He had only woken up a little over an hour ago, and wasn't exactly ready for his simps just yet.

“(L/n)-chan, can you help me study for the science exam that's coming up?”

“Just because you're my upperclassman, doesn't mean you can call me that.” (Y/n) said quietly, rubbing his eyes, then yawning. “I'm on my way to the lecture hall though, so maybe after that? I should be fully awake by then..”

Misaki smiled and nodded her head. “It's a date!”

“No. No it's not.”

🏙️🏙️

Tanaka let (Y/n) lean on him during the lecture. That turned into one sided cuddling from the sleepy man. Ryu thought it was cute how (Y/n) always clung to him when he was sleepy. He was a little sad when (Y/n) fully awoke, and let him go, but it was for the best.

“Oh, Ryu-san. I'm tutoring the rumored ‘perfect woman’, and it's gonna be awkward with just the two of us, so can y—”

“You headin to the library? I was on my way there anyway. I'll join ya.”

The (h/c) haired man nodded, and they both walked all the way to the other side of the schoolyard to the library building. Tanaka even held (Y/n)'s hand to flex on the girls they passed by. Some of the girls were noticeably annoyed or a little angry, which pleased him.

When they finally arrived, Misaki was standing by the door. Upon seeing Ryu, she scowled. But it was only for a second.

“Ah, (L/n)-kun..who's this?”

(Y/n) smiled, oblivious to Misaki and Tanaka glaring at each other. Needless to say, the intense atmosphere went right over his head. “This is my boyfriend..Tanaka. He'll be joining us if that's okay.”

“‘Perfect woman’ my ass..the only ‘perfect woman’ I know is Kiyoko-san.” Tanaka mumbled under his breath. (Y/n) may not have known, but Misaki and Tanaka were always competitive with each other. Other times he wouldn't have cared, but now that (Y/n) is what he's fighting for, he wasn't gonna back down.

“Oh, it's fine.” Misaki said through gritted teeth.

🏙️🏙️

Isayama and Tanaka were left sitting at a table alone, while (Y/n) searched for the science books. They sat in complete silence, but it was almost as if you could hear their thoughts—mentally arguing with one another.

(Y/n) returned with three books, seating himself between Isayama and Ryu. “Okay! Let's get started!”

***

As (Y/n) went on explaining the laws of physics (because Tetsurou used to tutor him), Misaki and Tanaka continued their epic staring battle. The battle ended once they noticed that (Y/n) had stopped talking. He was chewing his tongue in thought, trying to figure out how to pronounce a word.

Misaki didn't notice, but (Y/n) had gone from physics, to microbiology. In less than five minutes.

“Something wrong?”

“How do you say this word again..?” The (e/c) eyed man pointed to a bolded word in the textbook, leaning back a bit so the other two could see.

A suffocating silence reigned over the three of them, but only for about three seconds.

Isayama squinted a bit before she spoke. “Endothelial?”

“Oh yeah. Thanks, senpai.”

Isayama smiled smugly at Ryuunosuke. The said man had a visible tick mark (💢) on the side of his head, symbolizing his annoyance. Tanaka only wanted (Y/n) to call him ‘senpai’—even if they were the same age (if not, then (Y/n) might be older). It made him feel like he was a dependable upperclassman, maybe even a bit turned on in certain situations. But hearing (Y/n) call someone else senpai..made him a little sad.

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone vibrating. As Tanaka reached into his pocket to get his phone, he caught (Y/n) putting his own phone in his jacket pocket. Tanaka turned on his phone to see a message from (Y/n) in his recent notifications.

Pretty boy💖: Go to the bathroom. I'll join you later.

Although he was a bit confused, he got up from his chair. “‘M gonna go take a leak.” Ryu said as he started to make his way towards the men's restroom.

Almost five minutes pass before (Y/n) goes into the bathroom after Tanaka, telling Misaki that he was checking on him. As soon as (Y/n) had passed the first bathroom stall, he was yanked into the second one, the door locking almost immediately after it shut behind him. He wasn't given any time to react before he felt a familiar pair of soft lips violently smash against his own. (Not violent enough to make his mouth bleed or anything. Chill.)

A heated battle for dominance arose between the two, (Y/n) quickly taking the lead as he gently bit Ryu's lip.

They didn't want this to end, but eventually Tanaka had to break the kiss because he couldn't breathe. He stood there, breathless in his boyfriend's arms, not wanting (Y/n) to let go.

“Ryuunosuke..” Tanaka flinched upon his first name being said—even though (Y/n) said it many times before. His reaction brought a smile to (Y/n)'s face. “I love you~..” He said, drawing out the three words in a sing-song voice.

Ryu felt his legs getting weak, and held onto (Y/n) for dear life. (Somewhat out of fear that he might fall.) He wasn't actually feeling like this because of three words...right? “Babe..am I supposed to be kinda horny right now?” It was a bit of a strange question, but hey, it never hurts to ask.

(Y/n) chuckled. “Well, yeah. I might have to carry you out of here once we're done.” His warm smile from earlier didn't falter as he spoke.

‘How can he say something like that so casually? If I say something like that, I'd get d–’ Ryu's thoughts were snapped away when he felt his chest touch the stall divider and his pants being pulled down. He let out a soft moan as (Y/n) stroked him through his boxers.

🏙️

‘What the hell is taking them so long?!’ Isayama got up from where she sat, and went to the men's bathroom. There wasn't anyone around, so no one would see her going in. She opened the first stall's door. ‘If they ditched me, I swear to go–’

“W-Wait, (Y/n)!~ Haa!~♡”

“Geez senpai, you're so wet inside~..♡”

Misaki froze. She couldn't be sure that it was (Y/n) and Tanaka in there—but those were definitely Tanaka's pants hanging over the second stall's door. Now she felt more..curious than angry. Isayama slipped into the first stall, carefully and quietly closing the door behind her, and slowly locking it so it didn't make noise.

Ryu tried to keep his breathing steady as (Y/n) fucked him with his fingers—even though that did absolutely nothing to help his current situation. Hell, he couldn't even process words anymore. The only actual word he could say was his boyfriend's name. He eventually remembered how to speak after about two minutes of being finger-fucked.

He wanted to sound more demanding, but his voice came out more whiny than what he'd have liked it to. “Fuck me already..ya fuckin– Hng!~” It may have been that he couldn't process it, or that (Y/n) had moved at the speed of sound, but Tanaka wasn't able to register how fast (Y/n) pulled his fingers out, and shoved his cock into his still tight hole. He wanted to say something, but all that came out was a choked whine.

“You were saying?~♡” (Y/n) asked, though it sounded more like a demand than a question.

Tanaka wasn't given a chance to answer due to (Y/n) ruthlessly fucking the poor man senseless. His loud whines and moans echoed throughout the bathroom, much to (Y/n)'s pleasure. He wanted everyone to know that he was a taken man. He wanted everyone on campus to hear Ryuunosuke's pleasurable cries.

Hearing the two men fucking in the next stall turned Isayama on to no end. (Even though it was more of (Y/n)'s voice that made her wet.) But she resisted touching herself because she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she masturbated to her rival getting fucked. (A kinda stupid reason, but okay.)

“Fu–fuck, (Y/n)!~ So good..it feels so good!~” Ryu babbled, the words almost incoherent as he attempted to push back against his boyfriend's cock. “More!~ Give me more!~♡” He begged, voice broken and choking on his own breath.

The (e/c) eyed man didn't say a word. As his senpai had politely asked of him, (Y/n) drove his cock so deep into Tanaka that the said man let out the loudest drawn out moan (Y/n) had ever heard from him. If it weren't for the cum spewing from the teary eyed man, (Y/n) would've thought he had hurt his lover. He wasn't entirely sure until he felt Ryu continue to push back against him, desperate for more friction.

“Aww..you're so cute when you act like a bitch in heat, senpai~..♡”

He only got a choked whine in response.

“I'm pretty close anyway..do you want it inside?~♡” (Y/n) asked, pulling the shaky man up to his chest. Again, only a whine. (Y/n) parted Ryu's lips with his fingers, those fingers soon being coated in saliva. “Use your words~..”

Finally, Tanaka spoke, despite his unintentional dry heaving. “Fuck me- please~..”

“As you wish~♡” (Y/n) almost whispered, gripping Tanaka's cock firmly, earning another broken moan from the said man. “You're the only person I'd fuck like this, you know that, right?” He said, as he rubbed the shorter man's stomach.

“Y-Yeah..that makes me happy~..”

Lmao this was like- 80% highschool drama (in a college setting), and the remaining 20% being me getting horny for no reason. Also, I'm aware this made no sense. None of the stuff I write makes sense. :)

The class session is now over!~♡

#tanaka x reader #tanaka x male reader #haikyuu x male reader #anime x male reader #m!reader #x male reader #top male reader #seme male reader #ryuunosuke x reader

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0aurelion-sol0 · 4 years

Text

SNK keeps on being amazing. ( A rant that is not really one. )

133.

Just this panel alone is able to confirm everything that I wanted from this manga.

Eren's condition has always been what I suspected.

Ever since he sided with his brother Zeke, who manipulated Marley in attacking Eldia to retrieve the founder and other titans. Something THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO, because they were being pressured by many other countries and were not as powerful as before due to their lack of powerful weapons like the ones in the Middle Eastern Alliance which were able to PIERCE through the fucking Armored Titan.

THIS resulted in the fucking festival and we know what happened then. Dozens of people died including children continuing the cycle of hate that has been started for god knows how long. And Eren WILLINGLY took a part in it because he wanted his actions to be a little easier while he was going to genocide the whole fucking world.

INCLUDING his own island because let's be honest when Eren is done with the Rumbling, destroying every ecosystems. EVERYTHING that keeps a planet alive, his little island won't live for long.

"The ground... It's crying." CHAPTER 131 said by one of the goddamn kids he fucking killed.

Marley is now sure, let's fucking kill all Eldians.

He did his attack on Liberio, he betrayed everyone. Crushing Hange's every possibilities of finding a peaceful way of settling things down after having been hidden MANY useful informations by Eren, Zeke and his group but also the Azumabitos.

Sparking a civil war inside Eldia, leading to an Eldian supremacist group cause let's be honest when Floch killed that Marleyan and than gave his little first king Fritz speech, it was like seeing Hitler all over again and the Klux Klux Klan.

I MEAN... FLOCH OF ALL PEOPLE! A guy who has PTSD after seing dozens of his comrades died, their faces exploded by fucking thrown rocks. He bastardized Erwin's ideologies and no matter how good willing he was, he was just a dead man walking acting like a fool.

He also betrays his own party now, the Jeagerist by allowing the very people they tried to stop the power to stop him. By activating the Rumbling, he also caused the death of Eldians inside the walls as we've been shown with Hitch.

AND THE WORST... destroy every connection he has with his friends. Hurting them, putting them in danger by the very group he created and the Titans.

Oh but that's not all...

He uses the titan the same way Marley did it, with oppression and violence. He is not stopping the cycle of hate, he is continuing it. And it will have repercussions inside the very group of people he tried to defend.

People killed each other inside the walls and they will kill each other without it. Mikasa as shown us that when her parents got murdered and she almost became a slave.

And he killed Hange with these same titans. I don't care if they sacrificed themself. He didn't live up to what he preached. They died and Hange was someone close to him and was concerned with his well being. Maybe it was too late but they also had many other priorities as Hange was commander. They also fell into depression because of their position. One of his mentors and friends, one who tried to talk with him while he was in that cell planning to destroy the world...

talking to himself...

At this point, you know where I'm going with this. We've all suspected it, we all know it. Let's not be blind about it.

Eren is influenced by the Attack Titan. Not Ymir (at least I hope so and I think so), not Kruger and certainly not Grisha.

It's pretty clear now.

I mean Eren's change happens off screen, every time we see him he is completely different from what we used to know of him.

He barely cares about his friend and don't give me the bullcrap of (hE dOeS tHiS fOr tHeM.) If he was he would have secured them and put them in a place where they wouldn't interfere, he would have tried to convince them. HE WOULD HAVE COMMANDED FLOCH NOT TO HURT THEM.

He would have not commited genocide after knowing what it led to with Reiner, Annie and Bertholt.

That's not Eren. And the stupid argument of "hE's aLwAyS bEeN vIoLeNt". That's just bullcrap and it just destroy every bit of beautiful empathy we have seen of him. With Mikasa, Armin and Historia. Levi who he respected a lot.

It just isn't coherent. Every action he does is not coherent since the timeskip.

NOW HE'S CHALLENGING HIS FRIEND ? WTF ?

I mean is no one questionning this, doesn't it seem off from what we've seen of him.

Eren is no strategist BUT... he isn't stupid. Every sane person would know that these actions will not benefit anybody.

But... they still happened.

If we look back again, here is Eren being positive trying to put Armin in a good mood.

The outside world... endless possibilities. It's a man who wonders.

Yet, AT THE RIGHT MOMENT... he has a flashback of Faye. And his face just change.

Isn't it just weird ? Like at the right moment where he can have a positive outlook on thing. NOPE.

And this has been going and going and going...

Here:

Chapter 130.

Eren arrives in Liberio what does he see.

A flashback of his mother's death

I mean it's pretty clear now.

_________________________________________

Eren has been influenced and convinced by the Attack Titan that there's no way out. He's been reliving past memories of his and others, past memories that were traumatic. It put him in a state of depression and dread through 5 FUCKING YEARS. On top of that, he is able to see the future and what he saw will happen and has happened hence his reaction to Sasha's death.

A fucking mental breakdown.

Jesus Christ, I don't know if I've ever cursed that much in my life.

It's impossible to stop what is going to happen, because what is going to happen, needs to happen.

But as we know Sasha is in the afterlife with Erwin, Hange and the others. And we have been confirmed that this is the afterlife. So we have time-travelling, afterlife, 13 years curse, people who can turn into titans, parallel dimensions and Eren who can see through birds.

But the fandom said, no, the prospect of him being manipulated by the Attack Titan is impossible even after knowing it has special abilities.

I MEAN...

Umm... This has happened before. And I saw no one complain.

So why this ?

Is impossible ?

Especially when Eren's whole arc is about questionning his perspective of the world and becoming in control of his violence and rage. Having an agency. HELLOOOO!!!????

What better way of having the main threat of that being the very thing that causes all of his problems and his powers.

Doesn't this remind anyone of anything ?

Yep. The Uprising Arc. And who ? Historia, the girl whose all life, she couldn't act as herself or have any real agency.

Yes, you know the girl whose pregnant and decided to live the rest of her life Little House On The Prairie style. ( I mean I don't think it's her but... that's what it's looking right now. )

And who is a descendent of Ymir Fritz. With too much uncanney similarities between the two.

They could have said the Founder, Eren Jeager or something else but no they said... "It's the Attack Titan."

And it's not Ymir, if she was the one to control Eren. Why wouldn't she free herself on her own if she's able to do that ?

And in 131, she was clearly in a position where she was questionning her choice.

And perhaps she probably tried to stop Eren but the Attack Titan took over him and her. Using her powers as she is the founder.

And now just like Eren, she has no eyes. She is still a slave. Why ? I thought Eren freed her. So ? This is the only logical explanation right now.

I mean when is the last time we saw Eren.

He was sleeping inside his titan in 131. Having a dream about seeing his "sight" of freedom as a kid. And also potentially watching things with birds.

It's just weird. If he was fully in control, the characters wouldn't have questionned it and none of this weird shit would be happening.

He clearly doesn't have a free will.

This requires too much energy and Eren is a normal Eldian, not one of Royal Blood. Being both in Paths, watching this " sight ", communicating, watching with birds, moving his titan which is enormous and the thousands of colossal titans is clearly hard and too dangerous for only one person to do.

Isayama has fooled us all and me in the process.

All this time, it was that goddamn thing pulling the strings. And with the help of Isayama since he is the goddamn author of this series

In chapter 88, we learn the true meaning of Shingeki No Kyojin.

The beauty of the japanese language, as confusing as it is, can be translated by Attack On Titan, at least for us american and western audiences.

( yes because as someone pointed out in the comments, it's a mistranslation but since I don't understand how to give credit by linking because I don't understand how it works, i can't credit. So you can find the person in the comments. DO NOT JUDGE ME, tumblr is not the best place to post sometimes. )

But it's not the Attack on Titan anymore.

It's the Attack Titan.

( piece of shit is it's surname. )

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #attack on titan #eren jeager #snk eren #aot spoiler #snk spoilers #aot eren #the attack titan #I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK #THIS IS WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE #EUREKA #snk 133 #aot 133 #snk chapter 133 #ymir the first #ymir fritz

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alygatorwrites · 3 years

Note

can I request a lil something? during the end of the manga or after the timeskip if you haven't read it yet, reiner still has feelings for historia and reader has one-sided feelings for him.

pieck gives reiner a small hint, saying he's wasting time while there's someone close to him that cares for him and points to you. he doesn't understand at first and maybe is conflicted about his feelings for you because of historia. reader is cool about it as she doesn't expect him to reciprocate her feelings.

a rollercoaster of emotions later, maybe there is a happy ending tho? i am curious to see what you can come up with 😭😭 i have dreaming of this scenario before bed and i can't help but get jealous of his crush on historia abjdsndks maybe you can help reiner reciprocate reader-chan's feelings or not

thank u so much aly 💖🥺

reciprocation

pairing: reiner braun x reader

a/n: OMG yesss! honestly, i was kinda annoyed at how reiner still had a crush on historia. i know that isayama wanted to show how everything went back to normal, but i was hoping that reiner would have a bigger role in the allied nations instead of being "dumbed down" to having an obsession with her. MAYBE THATS JUST THE JEALOUSY SPEAKING LMAO 😭 i was hoping this would be longer, although school has been killing me so im really sorry!! i hope its okay 💗💕 thank you honey!

↳ to be added to my taglist, please fill out this ♡form♡

as reiner is handed historia’s letter, you fold your hands on the table and watch him without a word. when he reads the lines and smells the parchment - jean saying something snarky afterward - you say nothing.

you want reiner to be happy: you want to see him at ease like this more, face soft as the leaf of the page flits from his pinched fingers.

and so you let the man speak about historia like she’s a damn goddess, gushing over her handwriting, and keep your goddamn mouth shut. ignore your jealousy. your feelings.

the truth is, you’re in love with reiner.

you can’t even remember how it happened, but you can remember the first time you looked into those hazel eyes, and how you knew that they were going to stick with you for eternity.

you’ve come to accept his crush on the queen, though. reciprocation was never an option in your mind.

when jean begins to chew reiner out for lusting after a married woman, and reiner says something about jean being a horse, pieck’s gaze lands on you. “you’re rather quiet,” she says softly, resting her head on her palm.

you shrug, turning away from her. “i’m just tired.”

pieck catches your chin between her lithe fingers, and turns you to face her with a tiny smile. the young woman is very perceptive, and you’ve known her long enough.

that’s when you notice the twinkle in her eye. she’s planning something.

pieck releases your jaw then, sitting up in her chair. “you’re wasting your time, reiner,” she says suddenly. “there’s already someone you know who cares for you.”

you pretend to not hear pieck - and definitely pretend you don’t see her faintly point at you through your peripheral. the movement of her fingers is barely there, but you catch it.

damn you, pieck.

the way you’re now pinned underneath armin, jean, connie, and reiner’s stares makes your stomach tie itself into knots with bubbling reluctance. shit, this is awkward. you want to run away.

still, you peer over to study reiner’s reaction. he looks confused at first, the contours of his face unreadable. you swear you see connie facepalm at the man’s cluelessness.

then reiner’s expression slowly changes: his eyes widen in awe, lips parting slightly, and brows knitting together. he seems genuinely surprised - and conflicted.

conflicted? why?

there’s no time to explain yourself though, because the door creaks open and annie steps in. her words fall on your deaf ears, and when everyone stands up to leave, you’re the first one out of the room. work beckons you as always.

two days pass.

you’ve been busy filling out tons of paperwork pertaining to the allied nations, so when you’re finally given a day off, you take it with open arms.

freedom at last.

you lean against a bench outside of headquarters, enjoying the salty breeze that flutters along your skin. it’s dusk, the sky covered in a gradient of neon colors as the sun dips below the horizon.

you haven’t seen reiner since that day in the conference room. you wonder how he’s doing, what he’s thinking, how he’s holding up -

“hey.”

speak of the devil. you glance over your shoulder toward the voice, low and familiar.

reiner approaches you, clad in his uniform: the suit hugs his large frame perfectly, showing every flex of his muscles, and his blonde hair is neatly parted. the black tie looped around his neck just pulls it all together. it has you weak at the knees every. single. time.

“hey,” you answer, giving reiner a smile as he stops beside you.

and that’s when your heart lurches at the sight of him.

the sunset highlights reiner’s profile in gold, a heavenly shine that settles upon his blonde lashes and the flawless slope of his nose. the flecks in his irises sparkle – a beautiful mixture of soft browns and muted greens. the only thing you can do right now is admire the man.

his words are what breaks you out of your daydream.

“work has been crazy lately, huh?” reiner says, focused on the candy-floss clouds and their fluffy shapes.

“well - yeah, pretty much. i don’t want to look at a pen or a piece of paper ever again.”

“that bad?”

“you have no idea. i almost regret marley and paradis reconciling.”

reiner chuckles gently at the joke, but it’s strained. his forehead remains creased, and he’s not really smiling. the emotion there is more … doubtful. it’s like he’s having some sort of inner conflict.

hopefully reiner’s not acting cautious because of the other day. you know he doesn’t return your feelings, and that’s totally okay. you’re happy enough being with him like this. “i’m not mad or anything, y’know.”

reiner stiffens at that. there’s a white flash of teeth when he chews on his lower lip. “i know.”

“good,” you hum, breathing out a sigh of relief. your core twists with envy when you force a grin. bite it back. tease him like always. “so about historia … ”

reiner’s eyes go wide almost comically, and you hear the breath in his lungs leave his firm chest in one exhale. there’s a light blush staining his cheeks now. it’s funny; he’s so goddamn big, yet he’s such a teddy bear.

“y-yeah,” reiner mutters. you observe the way his brows pinch together as he awkwardly shifts in place. it takes a while before the man composes himself again, which is strange.

is he scared or something? what the hell?

“pieck,” reiner hesitates for a moment. the golden strands of his hair ruffle in the wind and he appears ... well, lost. “was she being serious?”

the question is a shocker - jeez, he could have at least let you prepare yourself. a firm ‘no’ almost slips out, but you’ve never been much of a liar. not to reiner, anyway. crossing your arms against your chest, you inhale sharply and nod. avoid staring at him face-to-face. “yep.”

“ … why me?”

reiner says the words with a mixture of spite and anguish, a casual and rumbling voice. you immediately turn your head, frowning. “what?”

“i’ve done so many horrible things.” reiner exhales heavily and stares down at his hands; perhaps he’s imagining all the blood they’ve been stained with. “i betrayed everyone. i killed innocent people - all because i was selfish.”

it’s no surprise that reiner is broken after everything he’s been through, but it pains you to know that he continues to suffer in silence. whatever war is raging inside his ribcage tears him apart piece by piece, and you wish you could carry the burden.

there’s probably nothing you can say to convince reiner that he was just a kid, a victim of circumstance. there’s nothing that can persuade him to see himself the way you do.

so you decide to tell reiner why you love him.

you explain the amount of admiration you hold for him. tell him that you love the way he just wants to be someone his comrades can lean on, like a big brother. tell him that you think he’s the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen and how you think he deserves the world.

the way you spill your guts out snaps every nerve in your body. you don’t say everything you want to – but you tell him enough. a dark flush spreading across your face, you find the courage to look at him.

the world seems to stop on its axis when you find reiner staring right on back. the intensity of his eyes is stunning; they’re lit up with astonishment and affection.

god, the affection. you see it clear as day. maybe one of the greatest regrets in his life is how he forced himself to see you only as a friend.

that’s when he reaches out to you.

reiner retracts his hand twice, unsure, before slowly brushing his fingertips against yours. the touch is so feather-light that you almost can’t feel it. it’s a test - he’s waiting to see if you pull away. you can’t even move if you wanted to, because his fond gaze keeps you rooted to the spot before him.

when you don’t recoil, reiner finally moves to gently hold your hand; his palm is so much bigger than yours, and your fingers slot together perfectly, like a jigsaw puzzle’s final piece.

heart thrumming like a hummingbird has been stuffed into your chest, you’re almost at a loss for words and come to a realization.

this utterly amazing man likes you. always has.

but reiner shoved away the feelings for one simple reason; you deserved ‘better.’ focusing on the old crush he had on historia was a distraction - an attempt to convince himself to stop thinking about you.

because looking at you everyday and not being able to act upon his feelings was too painful.

“is this okay?” reiner asks lowly. there’s a slight pinkness to his cheeks, the color of a selfless love.

by some miracle, you manage to nod dumbly. “yeah, of course. it’s fine.” it’s amazing is what you actually want to say.

reiner squeezes your hand at the reassurance, a sigh escaping from his throat. “i really—”

you wait for him to finish, but he doesn’t. reiner just searches your profile for signs of discomfort, and then untwines your hands to bravely swipe a thumb along the length of your cheekbone.

there’s no time to speak because he’s already leaning down.

the sensation of reiner’s lips pressing against yours lights your skin ablaze; you can feel the curling flames of passion sear your soul, made even more intense by the warmth of the sunlight on your back.

it’s natural, it’s tender, it’s warm.

reiner’s breath rattles into your mouth when you rest both palms against his solid chest and deepen the kiss. the musky smell of his aftershave and cologne envelops you completely, and fuck, it’s so good. your arms wrap around him, fingers passing over the sharp slopes of his shoulder blades.

as much as you wish the kiss could go on endlessly, there are people gathering outside. avoiding any unwanted attention from nosy strangers is very much appreciated.

you pull away to nuzzle your nose into reiner, and he rests his chin on your shoulder, protective arms moving to loop around your waist. it’s such an intimate caress that it sparks your brain into overdrive.

as the rushing sound of the breeze comes back to your ears through the quiet, you tuck the kiss away to be remembered forever. that’s all there is to it. being close to reiner like this - swaying together like wildflowers in the wind - is more important than anything else.

“i like you,” reiner murmurs.

the suddenness of it makes you laugh, and you can feel the upward quirk of reiner’s lips - a whisper of a peaceful smile and a sweet, sweet promise.

#timeskip reiner still sexy asf #I just wanna hug and kiss him ugh #reiner braun x reader #reiner x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #snk x reader #reiner braun #reiner x you #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin

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levisgirll · 3 years

Text

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

text: hello everyone! first off wanna thank each and every one of you that liked and enjoyed my writings <3 this honestly makes me happy and I’m glad to know that! so I decided to write this out for everyone as I had many ideas about this cute idea! you, y/n is levi ackerman’s first lover! it was stated by hajime isayama (author/illustrator of attack on titan) in a interview that levi has never been in a romantic relationship, but that all changes when he met y/n. It was also stated that when it does come to romance and love, isayama said that he expresses levi as awkwardly/clumsily when it comes to his lover. So find out some cute headcanons about him in his first relationship with Y/N!

synopsis: how’s it like for levi ackerman to be y/n’s boyfriend? and not only that but it’s also levi’s first partner ever, and including you! But you both don’t know that :,) so, what are the things you both would do as newbies in a relationship? (incoming real cute fluff- and levi trying his best to be your best boyfriend.)

fluff, headcanon, aot world ♡ —

To start off, you guys are both confused. Not sure what to do. Levi Ackerman’s first relationship and his first time having a partner actually makes him feel quite nervous as he wants to make sure he comes out as an ideal boyfriend for Y/N. Would definitely also start to overthink a lot at his start of his new relationship.

That’s cause, he wants to show you he is cool and got things under control and also even stronger towards you, he tries his best.

BUT, he doesn't know that it’s also y/n’s first relationship! and when they joined the Levi squad after Eren was taken in by the survey corps. Levi caught their eyes, and their causal interactions, talks and bond started to grow and slowly developing feelings.

Eren would definitely figure out that you had a crush on Levi and he would say in a shocked tone “Seriously...out of all the men. It’s the scary captain you like!”

After you guys got together, he started at first to show you some of his affections which is ruffling your hair, and he would do that whenever he catches you looking down or not smiling. He wants the best for you, and to smile instead. He wants to see that on your face cause it was one of the many things he loved about you. You lowkey liked that everytime he would ruffle your hair and you could feel his soft and gentle fingers on the top of your head, so lovely it makes your heart race.

He would let you call him Levi at first and he would kinda get upset sometimes when you say captain.

Whenever you go outside the walls, he knows you will be on the other side sometimes and not in his zone and that makes him worry like shit. He cant even focus on his mission and would think “Y/N, please dont die. Please.” Begging that you would be safe. When everyone regroups, he would look for you and and in a split second he recognizes you from afar and that makes his whole tense body relax. “Fuck. What took you long?” he would say that and go up to you, “I went to get some water for my horse, are you alright Levi?” He just stood there, studying your eyes which would make you blush and you guys....end up giving butterfly kisses to each other! and that now become your thing. And guess what, he REALLY likes them, it ironically gives him butterflies in his stomach too.

Once you guys part away, he would touch his eyelashes softly just to feel your touch again and sense that are you still by his side. alive. (please give him more hugs)

Whenever you get a cut, even the smallest ones, he would always say and bring his hand out towards you “Come here”. “Levi, dont worry its a small cut!” You shyly say, “I see the injury, so come here.” and he would proceed to treat you so carefully and his full focus and attention while treating you makes your mind race like crazy. His sharp grey eyes on your knee and his finger tips would be cold when he touches your skin and that would make you shiver but you felt his love. And it made you love him again and again.

He would take any opportunity to treat your smallest injuries just as his ‘excuse’ to be really near you. And when he is done, he would look up and glance at your eyes and you guys just sit there looking at each other so loveling. He wants to try kissing you so bad and you can tell by the look of his eyes on how he focus on your pupils as it dilates, and he gets lost in your beautiful eyes. You both were about to kiss until someone calls out your name and that broke your focus and jolted up so quickly, blushing like crazy. He gets also lowkey embarrassed, and both of you get up. “O-Okay, I have to go....thanks Levi.” and he would nod with a slight blush.

Whenever he sees you carrying stuff as he would pass by, he always offers to carry it for you but still takes it away from you either way.

He notice he is such a gentleman towards you especially and he is actually a loyal and a great man for you (too great).

He knows he stutters a lot whenever he tries to talk to you, so he doesn't trust himself to talk much to you cause he always fucks up, so he would rather listen. When you guys meet up and talk about your day, Levi ends up being such a good listener and he loves hearing what you always had to say. “Go on, tell me more.”

Later in the relationship, he starts to feel less nervous after having many talks with you during late nights in his office and he open up to you. About his past, his life in the underground and then you later realized he is quite talkative. Would definitely bitch about you with others and he does that on purpose cause he wants to see you laugh about it, and when you do he feels so great, you boost his ego.

Once he was with the other soliders to train them combat style training, and he did such an impressive move that you saw from a distance. You would later go up to him and he noticed you, "Wow you're awesome when you did that move!" you would say with such an amazed expression and that actually makes him happy inside but then said “...and when I don't?" This man is always concerned, and he kinda lowkey wants you to complement him more?? Becomes needy about it.

Mentioning that, you guys slowly started to use pet names for each other. He really takes pride to it and feels so lucky to have someone to call him that and not anyone but you saying it to him meant the world for him. but, once you did not say love just once, and he actually went back to his office and really though about it for the rest of the day. He becomes really quiet in the evening and you can’t figure out what it is. So you asked. “Love what’s wrong?”. And there, he started to talk a lot more now. He realized then he can act like a kid sometimes but you found it so cute.

He also memorized and remembers your knocks and footsteps and just calls you in before even addressing anything. He was secretly waiting for you to come and he got the tea ready, and of course the table clean and even the chair extra clean cause he doesn't want any dirt on you. And of course, you are his lover so he wants the best for you.

You and Levi planned to go out to the city to buy some stuff, but he wanted to surprise you and take you to wall sina instead to this small shop to buy you an accessory that you liked. But that failed since it started to rain, “Great, shitty fucking weather.”

Always touches your cheek tenderly and ask what is wrong when he sees you down. “Love, tell me.” He would keep looking at you and you would suddenly forget what made you upset and start to get timid . “Come on...stop you are making me shy..”. He just loves looking at you especially your eyes. “Y/N”. Suddenly he got all serious, and he gently grabbed your both of your shoulders. “I really…l-like you…” he tried to say all clumsily while leaning close to your face, but you know he is trying his best to show you his affection and love.

Whenever he gives you his back and you would see his neat and clean undercut, you would leave small kisses on it. That’s when you found out thats his soft and sensitive spot and he blushes like crazy, not expecting it but doesn't say anything. Once he was in his office alone, he would cover his face with his left hand and start to nervously say ‘Fuck...why is Y/N so damn cute, I’m gonna lose it.’

Levi loves to tease you sometimes, when they tell Levi to cut it out, but he would turn around and give you a small smirk and...chuckle a bit? You would think, wait actually nevermind let him continue.

Anything, literally anything you ask Levi to do or bring something, he is already up and willing to get it for you. “Hey love, could I please-”. “Here.” He knew what you wanted, a snack, so he just open his drawer and gave you your favorite pack of biscuits. “Have it all.” It was one of his ways to show affection and would actually feel good once you thanked him. Watch him giving you more next time.

Keeps. every. single thing. you give your man. He even has a separate drawer for you and he cherish the things you give him. You are the only one who does that to him and he loved that you were the one.

Outside, in the training area, when no one was looking he would push some of your hair that was hanging on your side behind your one of your ear. And you both would exchange glances, a look which both needed the other and the love was real.

Surprise, but he loves it when you kiss his Adam’s apple and would close his eyes while hugging you tightly.

You are the only one he trusts to have his keys to his office and once when Levi entered his office, he saw y/n laying on the coach, sleeping so quietly it warmed his heart. “Y/N waited for me this whole time?”. He would sit beside y/n and cover them with his jacket. He secretly then takes your hand and kisses it.

Overall, Levi has finally found the one, which is you, y/n. And this man would risk his life just for you. He would love his partner so deeply and wants to always be by your side and make sure that as long as you both had each other, things will be okay, and once everything is over he already thought that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

well this was longer than I expected!! I really do hope you all enjoy this and somehow you felt some love and fluff from Levi c: please do leave a like or a reblog if you liked it!

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ficsforeren · 2 years

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Kana dear I need your advice😭😭😭 as a huge Eren simp I love this guy with all my heart but recently I've been having these silly thoughts about last manga chapters and how eremika became canon and couldn't stop thinking: how can I read something with Eren and reader when it's been confirmed that he loves some certain girl and this girl is Mikasa? Like it is the only true girl for him since it's canon and not us (readers). It also seems to me that Mikasa's type is the only type that he could fall in love with and this type is not "reader" most of the times😭😭😭 I feel like I'm desperately in love with a real boy who loves another girls and it pains me so much💔💔💔😔😔😔 that's why I wanted to have your opinion on this, have you ever had such thoughts/what do yoi think about it?

I'll answer this below the cut. If you like Mikasa, or if you ship Eremika, or if you can't handle people having different opinions, please do NOT read this post.

Okay, this is completely my own opinion and you are very welcome to disagree but since you're asking my thoughts about it, I'll try to be as honest with you as possible.

First of all, I do not ship myself with Eren, but I can understand and relate to people who do. I never imagined myself as y/n or "reader" when i read eren x yn fics. I just imagine him getting together with my OC.

now, I've been a fan of AOT for eight years, and I'm sure as hell that AOT isn't a love story, which is why I hate chapter 138-139 with a passion because they made it seem like it is what with ymir loving karl fritz for years, and mikasa finally ending the curse because she could finally break free from her love for eren. like the whole thing doesn't make any sense. everything was retconned in the end.

and i'm not sure why do you think eren is in love with mikasa because to me, he only cares about her like how a brother would love his sister. isayama had stated so many times in the past that Eren saw her that way. hell, Eren had a lot more chemistry and interactions with Armin than he was with mikasa. eremin should've been canon

sorry to say, but eren has been treating mikasa like an absolute garbage from day one. i love eren, god i love him so much, but he's a total sociopath who abused his "loved one" aka mikasa both mentally, physically and verbally. plus, this scene right here?

a lot of people seem to think that this is eren's love confession, as in he's saying he's been in love with her all this time, that he loves her so much, he doesn't want her to forget him for ten years bla bla bla but honey? look at what he's saying

he wants her to be hung up on him. he doesn't want her to move on from him. he doesn't want her to find another man. like??? how toxic can he be??? how selfish can he be??? for someone who's always been willing to sacrifice himself for greater good (like when he was with historia), he can't even let his lover move on with her life? wants her to mourn for him forever? people are like "that's natural, he's having a breakdown at that moment, he's only 19. this is the real eren." oh my god, please, are we going to ignore his whole character development in season 4? because that wasn't the real eren? also he's saying those words after he treated mikasa like trash all this time when she has clearly showed her feelings for him many times, i'm???? this is so bad.

eren doesn't love her. he just likes the attention she gave him. he likes having someone chase after him, likes to see them get desperate on getting even a sliver of his affection. this is sick. it's sickening. eren isn't supposed to act like this. this is not the eren i'm in love with.

so no, baby, you don't have to be worried about mikasa. he's not in love with her.

now, if you're talking about historia though, that's when you should get worried lmaoooo cause eren is always so gentle around her. like whenever i write about eren interacting with yn in my fic, I always think about how he behaved around historia. the way he smiled when she smiled, the way he scratched his neck awkwardly when he was around her. the way they had meaningful conversations together, the way they understand each other's personalities. the way he noticed when she hadn't been smiling much. the way he literally tried to go into a fucking blizzard to look for her, cried and yelled at his friends that he wanted to save christa when she was kidnapped. he admired how strong she was several times, even literally told her "you're amazing" at some point and I don't think eren ever behave like that with other girls.

and unlike mikasa who has her own ideal version of eren, historia accepts him the way he is, just like how he accepts her true personality when everyone else likes krista persona better, and that's why eren opens up to her about everything, even the things he couldn't say to his friends. and the whole "I'm willing to die but I cannot sacrifice historia" thing is just... now that's romantic in my eyes, which is why I ship them together, because they do make sense. historia saved his life, brought him back from the brink of depression. she even killed her own father--the last person who was biologically related to her, mind you--so eren wouldn't need to sacrifice himself, and eren sees the true form of freedom in historia during that cave scene. isayama wrote their relationship so beautifully. subtle, but very beautiful.

but again, AOT is not a love story. even if historia and eren did end up together, it was all for the sake of the plot to make the story better (you can read AOT no Requiem to know what I'm saying and The Lamp and The Apple theory).

you don't have to worry about eren falling in love with another woman in the story because that's not the case. he's a very goal-driven man. his goal was about to free his people, to achieve freedom for himself and his family. and even if he did love someone, baby, just create your own version of him. the new Eren that you love and loves you. This is the reason why I created so many different versions of Eren in different AUs, so you can forget canon eren (he's a clown anyway lmao that 139 is a fucking disaster) and just be with your Eren. time to move on from the manga, girl, cheer up!

#this ended up much longer than it's supposed to lmaooo #and 90% of this is just me rambling about how much i hate the ending #i'm so sorry #almost a year has passed and i'm still hurt with the way isayama wrote my boy in 139 #not sure if this answers your question but i hope it helps???#aot commentary

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cosmicjoke · 6 months

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hi, I had this thing on mind since a long time:

Isayama said Levi sleeps on a chair rather than a bed and sleeps only for 2 hrs.

Levi prefering to sleep on chair always was in back of my mind it says a lot about him and how he has messed up sleep schedule. It was definitely his paranoia from underground and nightmares .

I always thought Levi wouldn't allow himself comfort in order to stay in control.

What your thoughts on that and what do you think about his sleep schedule is as of now considering his condition. I wonder if he sleeps his free time away, but considering all the mental and emotional wounds nightmares are too natural of occurrence for him, so if he still avoids sleeping.

Also how he would spend his time, like would he study more about the world or how would he manage his cleaning habits now?

These are all really good questions.

I agree, that Levi's difficulty sleeping probably has some relation to how he grew up, and the environment he grew up in. The Underground was the most dangerous place behind the walls, where ones life was constantly in danger, so it was probably pretty much impossible to relax. I imagine Levi was forced to become hyper-vigilant early on in order to survive, and that likely resulted in him not sleeping for more than a few hours at a time, and what sleep he did manage was probably pretty shallow. His body probably got trained to wake up at the slightest sound or even change in the air. Also, yeah, nightmares are something I'm certain Levi suffers from. We saw a little bit of that in that one shortpass story, about him dreaming of his comrades all being dead. Levi's been witness to so much brutality and violence and depravity in his life, it's a certainty that it must haunt his subconscious. I wouldn't be surprised if he has nightmares not just about the people from his past that he lost, but the people he has now being killed and him being unable to save them. I think that would be a big fear of Levi's, considering all the loss he's suffered in his life. I think he fears the thought that he won't be able to protect people, that others will lose their lives because he wasn't able to protect them. He values people's lives so much, so that would be something constantly on his mind.

As for now, I think Levi probably still remains a light sleeper. That's the sort of thing that, once your body conditions itself for it, is hard to break out of, I imagine. And as you bring up, his condition now probably doesn't help. Levi must suffer from some chronic pain at this point, given the injuries he sustained, and it probably makes it difficult to get comfortable for him when he's lying down. I imagine he probably gets pretty stiff too if he has to stay in one position for too long, so that discomfort would likely make it hard for him to sleep for long, or to find uninterrupted sleep.

I doubt Levi sleeps his free time away. Levi seems like a really productive person to me. Someone who likes to stay active and get things done. I'm sure he still manages to keep himself and his space clean, haha. There's nothing lazy about Levi, so even if it's more difficult for him to maybe get down on his knees and scrub the floors, for example, I think he would still manage to do it. It just might take longer. Maybe he has to break his cleaning sessions up into shorter blocks, instead of doing it all in one afternoon, or whatever.

I bet Levi is curious about the world, so I wouldn't be surprised if he studies it and likes to learn. Though I also think Levi would maybe be most content just engaging in practical tasks, like gardening or reading. Maybe he picks up some hobbies, maybe crafting of some kind or, if he ever got to open that tea shop, he probably enjoys researching and learning about all the different teas there are out there. I also think Levi probably spends a lot of his day just helping people, like we saw at the end of the anime, going to refugee camps and handing out candy, helping to rebuild and plant new trees to recover the land, etc... I think Levi wouldn't feel okay if he wasn't out there helping others in some way. It's such an intrinsic part of who he is, helping others. He's just so naturally kindhearted. So actually, I think he probably spends the majority of his time doing that, helping to improve the lives of other people, in whatever ways he can.

#Levi Ackerman

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bluesylveon2 · 2 years

Text

It's Beginning to Look Like a Love Story

This is for @levihan-drabbles prompt, Warmth. I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: Attack on Titan is a manga/anime series written by Hajime Isayama and published by Kondasha

----

If Hange Zoe was known for anything, it was her great ideas.

"Hange, this is the worst idea I've ever heard in my entire life," Nanaba said as she opened the door to Paradis Coffee. This coffee was not huge like Starbucks or Tim Hortons (aka the places the girls like to go), but they were willing to try a local shop after Nifa would not stop raving about it. It was also a perfect time to grab a warm drink, especially with the holidays coming up.

"Ha!" Hange replied and looked at her friend in shock. "This plan is foul-proof, Nana. I'm telling you that this will work!"

"Mhm." Nanaba nodded, clearly unimpressed.

The shop was empty except for the girls and the muscular blonde barista. The girls greeted the barista and eyed the many baked goods on display.

"What makes you think that sitting in a coffee shop for hours will help you snatch a husband by Christmas? Do you even have proof that works?" Nanaba asked skeptically without turning to face Hange. Instead, she was eying the selection of breakfast sandwiches available.

"Duh. I know it works because it worked for someone else! Besides, I won't just be sitting. I will be working on my laptop or reading." Hange smiled while staring at the chocolate croissant on display.

"Uh-huh, so did this person sit in a coffee shop for hours then?"

"Noooo…" Hange dragged on with uncertainty. It piped Nanaba's interest, and she turned to her.

"Well, the girl I heard the story from actually worked in the coffee shop when she met her husband BUT!" Hange added the moment she noticed that Nanaba was going to say something. "That does not mean I could meet my future husband in one too!"

Nanaba recited her order and paid the total. "Mhm, but there's a chance this plan won't work, Hans. It may have worked for one person, but that does not mean it works for the next." Nanaba said with worry in her voice just as the barista handed her her change.

"Maybe it could work for you, though, Nanaba."

"I'll pass." Nanaba quickly shut the idea down before finding an empty table to sit in.

"C'mon, Nanaba! You're hot, single, and intelligent! I bet you would get wifed up in no time!" Hange yelled out loud. Nanaba blushed out of embarrassment, and the barista chuckled to himself.

"Did you have to say that out loud?!" Nanaba whispered yelled.

Hange shrugged her shoulders. "We're the only ones here besides the barista."

Right on cue, The barista called out Nanaba's name, prompting her to stand up and grab their order. Hange did not miss the way he was checking her friend out. She decided to save that for a later day.

"Hange, your plan is crazy, but I will say it would be a miracle if it actually worked."

"Maybe," Hange replied and took a sip of her drink. "How hard can it be?"

And so, Hange waited….

And waited…

She waited for Mr. Right to show up, but none of them gave her a warm feeling in her chest. One guy looked really handsome until he opened his foul mouth. Another guy was taciturn for Hange's taste. The last guy was just a walking red flag.

Hange huffed in disappointment. She was beginning to lose hope, and there were only 6 days until Christmas.

Suddenly, a coffee cup and a plate full of pastries entered her peripheral view, and Hange looked up from her book to stare at the newcomer. She was too stunned to speak, but she recognized the stranger. He was also a barista who worked at the coffee shop. Hange would see him work from time to time, and he typically had an indifferent look to him. Now he looked shy, and Hange noticed the red tint in his ears. She thought it made him look adorable.

"It's on the house since you have been here for a while."

"Ahh, thank you-" Hange glanced at the barista's nametag. "Levi," she replied and grabbed the drink first. Since lunchtime, she had been here, and she had not eaten or drunk anything since. Hange took a sip, and the familiar spice of the chai latte filled her tastebuds.

Ah, so Levi is pretty observant. Hange thought as she sipped her go-to drink.

"Is this seat empty? I wanted to sit with you since business is slow today."

Hange smiled. "Go ahead." she gestured to the seat, and Levi sat down.

There was a moment of awkward silence except for the Christmas music playing in the background.

"So what brings you to this coffee shop every day? I know it's not for the shitty espressos."

Hange snorted. "You would not believe me if I told you my reason."

Levi stared at her as if he was challenging her. "Enlighten me. I have heard the worst stories, and I have a lot of time to spare. The cafe is practically dead around this time."

"Okay. Let me start from the beginning…."

---

"Wait, so you scammed your uncle into getting two gifts for Christmas instead of one because of your birthday?" Hange laughed and wiped the tears from her eyes. The two have talked for hours since Hange retold her story (A/N: Levi was not impressed). However, something clicked between the two that their conversations flowed so quickly, and there was never a dull moment.

Levi took a sip of his tea (he had made it an hour into their talk) and chuckled. "It worked for a few years until Kenny finally caught on. He realized that one gift that celebrated two holidays was enough."

"I'm sorry. That story really made my day." Hange continued laughing, which caused Levi to crack a smile. He briefly glanced at his watch and noticed the time.

"Hey, Hange. It's getting late, and I'm sure you have to be up early for work tomorrow."

"Shit! You're right! I'm so sorry, Levi!" Hange began to pack up her things.

Levi waved a hand in dismissal. "It's alright. I need to go close up the store anyway. How about we continue this tomorrow? Same time and place."

Hange stopped what she was doing and stared at Levi. She felt a warm feeling begin to form in her chest. "Hang out? Like a date?"

Levi shrugged. "If you want to call it that. I don't mind it."

"Sure!" She replied, already heading out the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Levi."

Levi smiled. "See you tomorrow."

The warm feeling never left Hange's chest. It only grew instead.

---

A/N: @mello-jello remember that coffee shop au I mentioned ages ago? I did it lol.

#levihan #levihan fanfiction #levi x hange #levihan drabbles

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hamliet · 3 years

Text

Unless a Grain of Wheat Falls and It Dies...

Or, why I am pretty optimistic about the fates of Jean, Connie, Gabi, and all titanized people this chapter, which is also an excuse for me to talk about SnK’s allusions to Russian literature.

There are strikingly parallel ideas The Brothers Karamazov and Attack on Titan, as well as parallel plot points and imagery to the point where if it isn’t deliberate, it’s uncanny. (NB: before people yell at me about comparing a Japanese and Russian work, Isayama has used Russian names since the start of SnK--Shiganshina is a Russian name.) In particular, there are narrative allusions to a portion of the novel known as “The Grand Inquisitor,” which is a short story within a novel. The central thesis of “The Grand Inquisitor” is as follows:

nothing has ever been more insupportable for a man and a human society than freedom.

This parable is told within the story by Ivan Karamazov, a character whose intellectuality is his gift and his curse. He tells his brother Alyosha that the motivation for creating this parable is precisely the evils done to children (oh look, a major SnK theme) and specifically cites an example which was unfortunately taken from real life in Russia and which Isayama has an uncanny parallel:

I want to see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the lion and the victim rise up and embrace his murderer. I want to be there when every one suddenly understands what it has all been for. All the religions of the world are built on this longing, and I am a believer. But then there are the children, and what am I to do about them? That's a question I can't answer... If all must suffer to pay for the eternal harmony, what have children to do with it, tell me, please? ... if it is really true that they must share responsibility for all their fathers' crimes, such a truth is not of this world and is beyond my comprehension. Some jester will say, perhaps, that the child would have grown up and have sinned, but you see he didn't grow up, he was torn to pieces by the dogs, at eight years old...

... How are you going to atone for them? Is it possible? ... What do I care for a hell for oppressors? What good can hell do, since those children have already been tortured? ... I want to forgive. I want to embrace. I don't want more suffering. And if the sufferings of children go to swell the sum of sufferings which was necessary to pay for truth, then I protest that the truth is not worth such a price. ... too high a price is asked for harmony; it's beyond our means to pay so much to enter on it... It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return Him the ticket.”

The actual parable of “The Grand Inquisitor” is Ivan’s answer to Alyosha’s question about Ivan’s lines above. Ivan tells a story about how freedom is actually what dooms humanity: it is the curse. (Alyosha does not believe this.) Jesus comes back to earth and is promptly arrested, because his existence and return threaten the wellbeing of society. To be happy, one cannot be free, but one or two strong people in society should be free and bear the burden for everyone else (you can see the parallels to King Fritz/the Reisses).

Nothing is more seductive for man than his freedom of conscience, but nothing is a greater cause of suffering... all his life he loved humanity, and suddenly his eyes were opened, and he saw that it is no great moral blessedness to attain perfection and freedom, if at the same time one gains the conviction that millions of God's creatures have been created as a mockery, that they will never be capable of using their freedom...

This is SnK’s thesis: to be free, there will be suffering. It is part of human nature, and yet to not have it is to be lost. But SnK, despite its explorations of human darkness and monstrosity, has a higher view of humanity than does Ivan. SnK’s view is more alongside Alyosha’s, who says what is honestly the truth about not just the Reisses, but Eren now:

"Who are these keepers of the mystery who have taken some curse upon themselves for the happiness of mankind? .... It's simple lust of power, of filthy earthly gain, of domination—something like a universal serfdom with them as masters—that's all they stand for.”

Mikasa is akin to the Christ figure in the story, akin to Alyosha: Christ is constantly asked to speak, asked to act, and he does not until the very last moment, when he kisses the Grand Inquisitor on the lips. After the story is over, Alyosha then does likewise to Ivan.

Not to mention when Alyosha worries about Ivan’s mental state, he then answers with this:

“Listen, Alyosha,” Ivan began in a resolute voice, “if I am really able to care for the sticky little leaves I shall only love them, remembering you. It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I shan't lose my desire for life yet.”

A simple leaf can save a life. A leaf can save the world. A leaf, grown from a tree that started as a seed falling to the ground, dead, only to grow life from that death. Alyosha himself notes SnK’s central thesis of chapter 137 in the (very long) novel’s final pages:

...some good, sacred memory, preserved from childhood, is perhaps the best education. If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days, and if one has only one good memory left in one's heart, even that may sometime be the means of saving us.

There’s a lot more to this, but this is the epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov, the central thesis of the entire novel:

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." -John 12:24

Suffering can grow great fruit in an individual life, and by giving something up, by even death, something beautiful can come. Through cruelty, you can find life.

This is not just a long-running theme in SnK, but a pattern in its plot. Often those who surrender then receive exactly what they had surrendered (but admittedly, not always, like Erwin).

Mikasa accepted Eren’s loss, and got him back.

Mikasa let Armin go, and got him back.

Falco gave up hope of survival, and got another chance:

Hange was going to die alone, feeling guilty for having failed her comrades, but saw everyone again, and they told her well done:

Historia gave up being free, but now we know she will be.

Levi gave up on his revenge, and then got it. Annie thought she would never see her dad again, but she did. For Mikasa, accepting that she has to kill the boy she loves coincides not just with her acceptance of her love, but with the acceptance and knowledge that he loves her:

It always comes with sacrifice, increasingly hard sacrifice, but usually the seeds that are dropped grow and bloom.

This chapter, everyone surrendered their hearts. They let their dreams fall to the ground, and I honestly think the story will allow it to plant life. Yes, the world as a whole is saved and that is enough to make thematic sense, but it works even better if the very people who were titanized this chapter also bloom again. They chose to trust Mikasa, Levi, Falco, and Pieck to finish the task.

The characters giving up their lives only to get them back make sense, and give Mikasa’s sacrifice of Eren. For Mikasa, Eren was her world, and she gave it up when she had lost everyone else. She had nothing left, and she still did it. I would hope she’d be narratively rewarded beyond just the world being saved, because Mikasa has always been motivated by her personal relationships.

Moving on from Mikasa: Connie’s mom has been kept alive and the concept of turning mindless titans back to humans was already brought up specifically in relation to her:

Connie giving up on his mother a dozenish chapters ago only to get her back now--not through sacrificing a child, but through saving the entire world--would fit the themes and patterns of SnK.

Thirdly, Gabi should not die. She’s Eren with positive development, and cannot meet the same end. Even people who are skeptical of every titan being saved seem to agree that she’ll be fine. It’s possible she’s the only one saved, but imo, not likely.

See, the only shifter characters who are going to have the option of self-sacrifice are Falco and maaaaaybe Armin. The others look like they’re about to die right here and now, never mind choosing someone to save: the mindless titans are ripping at their napes. Armin also looks to be in bad shape.

Yet Armin cannot narratively commit suicide; two chapters ago he was still screaming at himself for being useless and thinking he would be better off dead. He’s already tried the heroic sacrifice, too, so why would it work this time around? It does not work for his arc. Falco dying for Gabi was the plan without any freedom from the titan curse; it’s more powerful if ending the curse changes things, rather than forcing him to make the same choice that Reiner has always been trying to make: a heroic suicide. It could happen; it’s just not as narratively strong.

As for whether the worldbuilding rules, we know that mindless titans are not truly dead nor entirely mindless; they just don’t have freedom. Ymir’s case of getting herself back after decades shows that they aren’t quite dead or absorbed. They still have consciousness that can be awoken; Ymir described it as being in a long “nightmare.” Dina still went looking for Grisha. Connie’s mom remembered and recognized Connie, telling him “welcome home.” There is plenty of evidence that there are parts of these people that are still in there even if they are forced to become monsters (oh hey, it’s an Eren parallel; he was conscious of it and had choices while mindless titans do not, but the parallel remains).

#snk 138 #snk meta #aot 138 #aot meta #mikasa ackerman #eremika #eren jaeger #armin arlert #the brothers karamazov #gabi braun #connie springer #jean kirchstein #ymir #falco grice #galco #reiner braun #annie leonhart #levi ackerman #historia reiss

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randomposterofstuff · 3 years

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An in-depth analysis of Mikasa’s character development in relation to Eren and Levi

Author's Note: Hi, all! As I was re-reading and going over my previous post/analysis titled "On the change of dynamics of Mikasa's relationships with Eren and Levi," I realized that there were some points that I should've/could've included. Lol. I also came up with other points of analysis as well as arrived at other realizations concerning Mikasa's connections with Eren and Levi. So, I've decided to post them here. This post can be considered a continuation of the previous analysis since it supplements and further expounds on the last post's points. But this can still stand on its own since it also talks about additional issues. Haha. If you want to read the previous post, the link is up there. Hehehe.

Fair Warning: This is a very long post. Lol.

This post will analyze the following:

1. How Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history. This was already touched upon in the previous post, but this post will expound more on this.

2. How Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's own character development. How her development as a character is affected by this will also be discussed. This segment will also analyze how Mikasa's connection to Eren became strained because of the latter's drastic change in the latter part of the series.

3. How "Chapter 138: A Really Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her dream. This post shall also analyze how Chapter 138 is actually the climax and turning point of Mikasa's character development concerning Eren.

4. How Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality. This will be further expounded on later.

From the foregoing topics, it’s clear that this is a primarily Mikasa-centered analysis. Haha. I just had so many thoughts running through my mind about her development that I was eager to make this post. Lol.

So, anyway, we now delve in:

1. Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history.

In the series, most of Mikasa's actions and reactions tend to either revolve around or be connected to Eren. About this, it is necessary to take into account their relationship and shared history.

Before Mikasa met Eren, she was a young girl who lived a relatively peaceful and quiet life with her loving parents. But then, all that changed when human traffickers killed her parents in front of her eyes and kidnapped her to sell her as a sex slave.

During this time, she was just an innocent young girl who hadn't experienced much of the world yet. So, one can only imagine the pain, shock, and trauma that she must have felt during her brief period of captivity. Being so young at the time, she was understandably shaken and scared – having had her family and her innocence forcibly and violently taken away from her.

However, hope came in the form of a young Eren who had gone looking for her on his own when he and his father discovered her parents' bodies. When he found her, he wasted no time taking action and immediately killed two of her captors before freeing her. When the third captor arrived and tried to strangle Eren, he told her to fight. At first, she was scared to do so, as evidenced by her shaking when she held the knife Eren used to cut her binds. While he kept telling her to fight, memories suddenly flashed in her mind, and they made her realize that they lived in a cruel but beautiful world. During this time, her dormant "Ackerman powers" awakened and thus gave her the strength and courage to actually fight and deliver the killing blow – thereby freeing both herself and Eren. As we all know, in the aftermath, the Yeagers took Mikasa in, and Eren gave her his scarf when she said that she felt cold.

As mentioned before, Mikasa and Eren's shared history is important. This is because it defined the early dynamics of their relationship. Eren was literally and figuratively her savior. He saved her from captivity and from a potential future of abuse. He also saved her from loneliness and despair. When she lost her biological parents, she found a new family in Eren, Grisha, and Carla. The Yeager parents treated her warmly and kindly, and Eren was her constant companion (apart from Armin, of course). Having experienced the severe trauma of violently losing her parents, she never wanted to lose anyone precious to her ever again. This is evidenced by the following situations in the series:

a) When she and Eren desperately wanted to save Carla from the Smiling Titan in Season 1. Neither she nor Eren wanted to leave her behind. So, when Hans carried them away to safety, Mikasa was visibly crying and heartbroken.

b) When she attacked Levi with tears in her eyes when he initially declared that he would use the Titan serum on Erwin instead of Armin. Armin, alongside Eren, was one of the most precious people left in her life. As such, the idea of losing him was painful. When Levi eventually decided to save Armin instead, Mikasa wept tears of joy when Armin fully recovered after eating Bertolt.

c) When Mikasa cried upon seeing Sasha's dead body. While the development of their friendship wasn't fully shown, it was clear that Sasha meant a great deal to Mikasa as the former's death affected her deeply.

About Mikasa not wanting to lose anyone close to her, it is evident and apparent that Eren was the most special person in her life. This is not surprising since Eren was the one who literally saved her, and there's also the fact that he was the only one left of her adoptive family. Apart from these, I think that the following reasons are also possible and probable causes as to why Eren was the most special:

a) Eren was her source of hope and strength. When she fell into despair when she was kidnapped, Eren gave her hope when he came to her rescue. It was also during the struggle against her captors that she awakened her inner Ackerman power. So, she might have attributed her then new-found strength to him.

[Side note: I'm aware that Eren was lying when he commented that Mikasa had responded to his "command" to fight back then because she mistakenly thought that he was a "royal host." In the “Attack on Titan ANSWERS” guidebook, Isayama-sensei himself stated that "[Mikasa, Levi, and Kenny] are all part of the same Ackerman bloodline. However, their reasons for protecting their respective counterparts do not have anything to do with the bloodline itself—it is just their nature." When I said that Mikasa attributed her then new-found strength to him, I was talking in figurative and emotional terms. Lol.]

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

b) In her eyes, Eren represented the good in their cruel world. Because of Eren, Mikasa realized that the world is cruel but is also beautiful – meaning that there's also good in it

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 7 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

My take is that all of these things shaped and formed the beginnings of Mikasa's connection to Eren. Their shared history influenced Mikasa's overly protective nature towards him and her affection for him. Eren was the foundation of her strength and a constant reminder that there was still good in the cruel world they lived in. As such, she would have done anything to protect him and all that he meant to her.

This is particularly important as we proceed to the second point of this analysis, which is how Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

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2. Mikasa's character development is affected by Eren's.

For the most part of the series, Mikasa has been characterized by her strong urge to protect Eren. The reasons behind this protective nature of hers have already been expounded earlier. At this juncture, I shall now discuss how Mikasa was affected by the kind of person Eren used to be.

Specifically, this portion of the analysis will be divided into two (2) parts: the first will be about their character developments during the pre-Marley arc. The second will be about their developments during the Marley arc and going onwards.

a) Pre-Marley Arc

As previously mentioned, Eren was her literal savior. And she saw firsthand how he would willingly place himself in danger to protect others. She appreciated Eren's good-nature. And she likely saw him as a sort of embodiment of the things that make the cruel world they live in more bearable and more beautiful.

It is essential to consider the kind of person that Eren used to be before the Marley arc. Before the truth of the world and the Titans was revealed, Eren was a mischievous and stubborn child. Still, at the same time, he was also good-natured, determined, selfless, and courageous. His resolve, courage, and desire to protect others were further amplified when the Warriors of Marley attacked his hometown of Shiganshina and when the Smiling Titan ate his mother.

The early stages of Eren's development are relevant to Mikasa's own development. Due to his well-meaning nature and their shared history, Mikasa felt strongly inclined to side with him and protect him at all times. While this is understandable on her part, it has also proven to be problematic.

Her disposition towards Eren impaired her judgment

For instance, it has been shown on more than one occasion that Mikasa's affection for Eren has impaired her judgment. This has been exemplified in the following cases:

a) Back in Season 1, when both she and Armin thought that Eren had been killed, Mikasa went on a reckless rampage on her own against the Titans which invaded Trost. To be fair, she was grief-stricken under the circumstances. Nonetheless, her actions were still irresponsible, and she nearly lost her own life because of them.

b) When she recklessly went after Annie in her Female Titan form after the latter had captured Eren in the Forest of Giant Trees outside the Walls. Mikasa would have probably been killed had Levi not arrived. Furthermore, because of her rage towards Annie during this time, Mikasa disobeyed Levi's order not to engage Annie in battle. Her decision endangered her; it also resulted in Levi's injury, which rendered him unable to fight for some time.

It also narrowed her priorities and way of thinking

As mentioned in my previous post, Mikasa is not cruel or heartless towards others. It has been shown that she has empathy for innocent and helpless people. This is likely because of her own experiences with being powerless. The following instances exemplify this:

a) When she saved Louise and her mother from one of the Titans that had invaded Trost.

b) When she threatened Dimo Reeves with her sword when he refused to allow the district's defenseless citizens to pass through the pathway leading to the protected areas until all of his merchandise and goods were carried through. She only relented her threatening demeanor and actions when he had this cart moved to the side to make way for the citizens to pass.

However, because of the extent of her concern and devotion to Eren, Mikasa seemed to disregard nearly everything else whenever he was in danger.

An example of this was during the Struggle for Trost and Eren's military trial in Season 1. When Eren transformed to begin the mission to seal the Wall, he initially lost control and attacked Mikasa and the others. It is worth noting that it was unintentional on his part. However, that does not change the fact that his loss of control nearly jeopardized the mission and placed his comrades in danger.

While the mission was ultimately successful, Eren's loss of control was still a serious source of concern. Because of this, he was temporarily imprisoned. It was also decided that there would be a trial to see if he was either a threat or an asset to humanity within the Walls.

During this time, Mikasa was understandable apprehensive, and worried about Eren. It is worth noting that, as mentioned in my previous post, she was more concerned about him than the fact that he was still a potential threat at the time. It should be remembered that during this time, the inhabitants of Paradis (save for a select few such as the royal family and their followers) were ignorant of the truth about Titans and the world. As such, the fear directed towards Eren was valid and understandable. Yet, despite this, Mikasa was still singularly focused on him.

This is evidenced by the following:

a) Her glaring at Rico when it was revealed that the latter had mentioned Eren's loss of control in the report that they had submitted. When Rico responded with, "Did you expect me to lie in a report?" Mikasa simply continued to glare at the Garrison soldier. On this, Rico was clearly in the right for telling the truth since Eren's powers were still a mystery and still potentially harmful to others. Yet, Mikasa was probably too worried about Eren to realize this.

b) When she attempted to attack Levi when the latter began to physically beat Eren. She would've undoubtedly intervened had Armin not stopped her. I had already expounded on this in my previous post, but I will just add the pertinent excerpts here:

"The display was necessary to emphasize and prove that Levi, who is widely known as "Humanity's Strongest Soldier," was best suited to subdue Eren should he lose control of his abilities. Because of this, the Scouts were able to convince the Military Police and Premier Zackly that they should be given custody over Eren. At the time, Mikasa was gravely concerned about Eren's well-being and was perhaps too furious at Levi to think about anything else. Because of this, she probably did not immediately realize that Levi had effectively secured Eren's relative safety at the end of the day. "

"During the trial, the MPs spoke of planning to dissect him, among others. Conversely, the Scouts proposed that he participate in an upcoming scouting expedition to determine whether he is a threat or not. They also suggested that Eren be placed under Levi's direct supervision so that he could be subdued in the event of an incident. While the latter proposal still entailed some degree of violence, it was far less hostile and more beneficial to Eren than the MP's proposal."

To conclude this part, I think that Mikasa focused more on the fact that Eren never meant any harm. And she probably thought that Eren should not be punished because of this. Again, all of this shows how Mikasa was inclined to always side with Eren (even though his actions may sometimes do more harm than good) because of his good and well-meaning nature and their shared history.

b) Marley arc until the present time

The second part of this segment shall now discuss how Eren's drastic and dark development affected Mikasa.

As mentioned before, Mikasa always sided with Eren because of their past and his good nature.

However, when Eren began changing for the worse, their relationship began to deteriorate. As mentioned in my previous post, they slowly but surely drifted apart until they lost their common ground.

At the start of the Marley arc (which is the beginning of the fourth season in the anime), Eren's personality had noticeably become darker. This is evidenced by his horrible actions, which endangered and cost lives, such as the following:

a) When he executed his and Zeke's plan to raid Liberio so that they could both escape to Paradis Island. As a result of this plan, countless innocent civilians and children were killed in the process. Furthermore, several of his comrades from the Survey Corps/Scouting Regiment lost their lives, including Sasha.

b) When he initiated the Rumbling with the intention to destroy all of humanity not residing within Paradis Island. This plan and course of action would eliminate both their enemies who were actively plotting to attack Paradis and millions of innocent civilians and bystanders.

At this point in time, Eren had changed from a good-natured and compassionate soldier dedicated to protecting innocents to a depressed and violent extremist. This change was triggered by the revelation of the truth about the world and his gaining access to the memories of the past and future inheritors of his Attack Titan.

With regard to how his terrible change affected Mikasa, it is clear that she was clearly disturbed by it.

Mikasa had begun to acknowledge that Eren was no longer the "good" in their cruel world.

During the raid on Liberio, she was visibly distraught and affected by Eren's destructive actions. It seemed that she was in disbelief – she even asked him if he was aware that he did things that cannot be undone. As mentioned in the previous post, Mikasa was even more distressed because Eren consciously caused the destruction and did not appear to show any remorse.

It is worth noting that Mikasa's empathy for innocent and defenseless people, especially children, was highlighted in this scene. When she asked Eren if he was aware of his actions' consequences, there were tears in her eyes.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 6 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

At that point in time, Mikasa had begun to realize that the Eren she once knew was no longer with them. She had started to see that Eren no longer represented the good in the world; and that he had become a source of what makes it cruel.

Mikasa felt conflicted because she was in denial.

Throughout the Marley arc events up until the Rumbling arc, Mikasa still held on to the hope that Eren could still change for the better. It is true that she believed (or maybe desperately wanted to believe) that Zeke was manipulating him, but does not change the fact that Eren was acting on his own accord.

On several occasions, Mikasa had expressed her desire to talk to Eren and kept insisting that sense could still be talked into him. I think that this is an indicator that she was in a state of "pseudo-denial."

I used the term "pseudo-denial" because, from how I see it, Mikasa was already aware that Eren was no longer the same person who saved her. That he was no longer the same person who insisted that Historia eat him so that humanity can be saved. That he was no longer the same person who would jump right into battle to protect innocent people; that he had turned into someone who had harmed and would continue to harm innocent people. However, it appears that Mikasa did not want to accept this fact. This is why she kept insisting on talking to Eren in the slim chance that he could still be persuaded to abandon his plan of initiating the Rumbling. She was torn between reality and her personal sentiments. In short, she still hoped that the kind person who stood up for the helpless and who saved her from bondage was still in there somewhere. This exemplified by this scene from Episode 14 of Season 4:

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 14 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

This pseudo-denial placed her odds with her allies and comrades. The others, such Armin, Annie, and Levi, had already accepted that Eren needed to be killed in the worst-case scenario. On this, it's apparent that Mikasa knew that they were right considering the circumstances. But she still felt conflicted because she still hoped that Eren could be convinced to not go through with his plans. However, that hope was dashed when Eren himself told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him. Yet, even then, she was still hesitant and conflicted.

Mikasa had matured because of their strained connection and had begun outgrowing her bond with Eren.

In a way, Mikasa was still holding onto the past. On this, Eren's dark character development is what caused their relationship to deteriorate. As previously discussed, Mikasa's connection to Eren is rooted in their shared history and the type of person he used to be. In the past, Eren was her savior, her family, and her source of strength and hope. But when he stopped being those things to her, the foundation for their bond was lost.

While it is tragic and drastic for Mikasa, this caused her to become more keenly aware of other priorities. She became more cognizant of the stakes involved rather than just focusing on Eren. Although she still cared greatly for him, she was no longer singularly focused on him. She became wise and mature enough to not turn a blind eye to the danger and threat that he posed. This in sharp contrast to how she acted in the past. Before, she would always place Eren's welfare first before nearly anything else. But because of recent developments, she finally began to realize and understand that there were other things more important than Eren. And I think that this is a significant turning point for her since he had affected and influenced her for most of her life.

Before Chapter 138, Mikasa was still in a state of "pseudo-denial" because of her hope for a more peaceful solution in dealing with Eren. But I think that the fact that she started feeling conflicted was the start of her process of outgrowing her bond with Eren. This is because she knew that she could no longer just turn a blind eye to his actions and their devastating effects.

The significance of her process of outgrowing her connection with Eren will be further expounded in the next point of analysis below.

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3. "Chapter 138: A Long Dream" is about Mikasa finally letting go of and "waking up" from her own dream.

It has already been established that Mikasa had dreamed of living a peaceful life for the longest time. She dreams of one that is similar to the kind she once had with her parents. In particular, Mikasa wanted to live such a life with her loved ones, particularly Eren. The "dream" she had during this chapter is evidence of this.

It is unclear whether what Mikasa saw was a dream, a hallucination, a vision, or, as some fans speculate, a memory from an alternate reality. In any case, it was not the reality that she lived in.

I've already stated earlier that her process of outgrowing Eren and their bond was significant. Concerning this, I think that the said process was part of a slow build-up towards her decision to finally let Eren go and kill him.

As previously mentioned, Mikasa seemed to have difficulty accepting that the Eren of her past had turned into the Eren who wished to destroy all of humanity outside of Paradis. She had struggled to fully acknowledge and accept this fact because it was too painful for her. However, as the situation started to become more drastic and desperate, she realized that she had no other choice but to face reality.

But even though she knew this, she still felt conflicted. Even when Eren told them that the only way to stop him was to kill him, she was still hesitant. She knew what needed to be done but could not accept it because of her attachment to Eren.

On this, I think that the "dream" or vision (or whatever it really was) that she had during the battle is representative of the kind of life she wishes and dreams for. When she, Levi, and the remaining Titan shifters were the only ones left to fight, she started having another headache. And when Levi told her that they were the only ones left who could kill Eren, her head pain intensified until the dream/vision started playing in her mind.

This is my take on this moment: the headache represented Mikasa's conflicted feelings. She knew that Eren needed to be stopped to save humanity. She knew that the rest of the world did not deserve to suffer from the cruel fate that Eren wished to bestow upon it. But her emotional attachments held her back from taking action. As for the dream/vision, I think it was her way of arriving at an epiphany and decision. And on this, maybe it was this dream/vision that gave Mikasa the resolve and courage to finally accept the reality. I will expound further.

In the dream/vision, Mikasa was crying. She said that she "shouldn't be there." And then dream-Eren spoke about their decision to run away from the Marleyan-Paradis conflict so that they could live in isolation and in peace during the last few years of his life. Dream-Eren then apologized for "bringing up the past."

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

I personally think that this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. During this dream/vision, Mikasa finally realized that her wish and dream to live a peaceful life with Eren could no longer come true. Her dream was born in the past, and if there was any chance of it happening, it had already passed by. Mikasa finally realized that attaining her dream was already impossible at that point.

I also think that when dream-Eren told her to forget about him after he dies, this could be interpreted as Mikasa realizing that if she were to finally have a quiet and peaceful life, then Eren would not be a part of it.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Furthermore, Mikasa saying that she "had a long dream" could mean that she finally let go of her life-long wish/dream so that she can wake up to the reality she needed to face. It could be interpreted as her choosing to give up on Eren for good to make the world a less cruel place. On this, her decision to kill Eren herself was likely her way of letting him go and saying goodbye. It was the climactic resolution and outcome of her internal conflict where she struggled to choose between doing the right thing (saving humanity) and holding on to the most special thing in her life (Eren). In the end, she chose humanity over him because she knew that if she chose him, then their already cruel world would become darker and crueler.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

A quick note on Mikasa saying that she can’t forget Eren:

Some people might say that Mikasa’s declaration that she can’t forget Eren means that she decided not to let him go. I personally disagree with this. It is completely possible to move on from someone and let them go without forgetting them. In Mikasa’s case, I think that by saying that she won’t forget Eren, she meant that she will always remember the peaceful, good, and happy times that they had together. I also think that it means that she will fondly remember Eren as the good person he used to be.

I think that it’s understandable and fair that Mikasa chooses to remember the good times and the good things. Because, for better or for worse, Eren was still a huge and influential part of her life. The old Eren and the good times they had together were very much real, and the happiness she felt during those times was also genuine and valid. I also think that her decision to wear the scarf around her neck before delivering the killing blow was her way of saying, “I’m letting you go. But I will always value the good moments we had together. Goodbye.”

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

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4. Eren represents Mikasa's dream, while Levi represents her reality.

This is a personal take and interpretation of the possible symbolisms connecting Mikasa and Levi in Chapter 138.

During the final battle against Eren, only Levi, Mikasa, and the titan-shifters were left to fight. And during this battle, Mikasa started to have her dream/vision. While dealing with her conflicted emotions, she began to drift to her "dream" about Eren and away from reality. And while she was drifting away, Levi kept telling her to "stay with [him there]."

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could be interpreted as Levi being the voice calling out to her to stay in the current reality and not get lost in her distant and impossible dream. It is interesting to note that before she began "dreaming," an image of Eren as a child was shown, followed by a panel of a close-up of Levi's mouth with no dialogue. Meaning that everything around her had already faded away before she was immersed in her dream during that time.

Screenshots taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

This could symbolize the inner conflict and turmoil that Mikasa was experiencing. She was torn between holding on to the past and accepting the present.

When she woke-up, both literally and figuratively, Mikasa had decided to let go of her dream and of Eren. She finally accepted the reality and returned to it. She returned to Levi's side and faced reality alongside him.

Screenshot taken from Chapter 138 of the “Shingeki no Kyojin” manga

Following this line of thought, this symbolic moment could foreshadow the kind of relationship they would have in the future. Considering that this final stand against Eren might very well be the most important battle of their lives, it would be reasonable to assume that they might form a deeper connection and relationship in its aftermath. They finished it together, so perhaps (and hopefully) it means that whatever the future might bring, they would also face it together.

Going back to how Eren and Levi are symbols, Eren represents her dream. Eren is not only a part of it; it is also linked to her past. Mikasa knew that her dream was impossible to achieve at that point and that it was necessary to finally let it go.

Levi, on the other hand, represents her reality. The reality she currently lives in is cruel and harsh. However, she can control what she does in it and what she makes of her life in the said reality. In other words, her reality is full of possibilities and various choices. This is in contrast to her dream of a life with Eren, which was impossible to attain. Furthermore, she only had two (2) choices as to what to do with the dream. It was either to keep holding on to it despite its impossibility or to let it go completely.

Thus, it can be said that Eren represents and symbolizes “what could have been”. Whereas, Levi represents “what could be”. Prescinding from this, there really is a good chance of Mikasa and Levi growing closer in the future.

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Author’s Note: Well, that’s all for now. Lol. I know that this post is very, very lengthy. Hahahaha. So, I really appreciate you guys for taking the time to read it. I tried my best to make it as organized and as clear as possible. I hope that it makes sense. Haha. I might post more analyses in the future. Hehehe. Let me know your thoughts and opinions!

#rivamika #levimika #mikasa ackerman #levi ackerman #levi x mikasa #mikasa x levi #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren and mikasa #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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