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#but what they completely miss is that they are in a Cold War America

system-of-a-feather · 10 months

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You know what, I was ranting about shit to a certain Chinese friend of ours and I'm directly gonna say it, its absolutely fucked up now that I'm actually thinking about it that @/sophieinwonderland accused me of being pro-CCP and pushing CCP propaganda

Like a while ago when I found out about it, it was so wild it was funny, haha chinese people this that assuming we are all CCP haha classic racist fucking bullshit

But its only when I started explaining the history of attrocities and shit situations my family's home country INDONESIA was put through did I realize just how especially fucked it was.

Cause back in the whole cold war shit Indonesia has a supposedly pretty good guy as the founding President and what with the whole anti-communist vs communist push, and HONESTLY at this point I don't even know if they were thinking of discussing allying with the CCP because of all the fucking American propaganda

But seeing as Indonesia was communist in ideology, America literally fucking assisted in staging a coup that pushed both anti-communist rhetoric AND SPECIFICALLY anti-chinese rhetoric that resulted in the fucking bloody massacre of Chinese citizens in Indonesia. Literally people who were BORN and RAISED in Indonesia that had Chinese blood and were just as indoneisan as everyone else born and raised there were literally hunted and killed for being fucking Chinese because America both supported and helped push the rhetoric that Chinese = Communist = Bad = Murder them

And so Im fucking sitting here, with my parents having LITERALLY BEEN CHASED OUT OF INDONESIA FOR BEING CHINESE AND ACCUSED OF BEING EVIL COMMUNISTS BECAUSE THEY WERE LITERALLY BEING CHASED IN THE STREETS, having this white fucking bitch from America saying that I am ACTUALLY a secret CCP fucking agent trying to push fucking CCP propaganda

I'm sorry, I'm not.

My dad also was not

Unfortunately fucking Americans pushed that anyone who is Chinese is automatically CCP and that literally resulted in the death of A LOT of people like my dad who BTW has a lot of trauma for completely unknown reasons

Anyways I'm fucking pissed off. And ya know what, if I didnt have the fucking bitch blocked and probably wasn't also blocked by her, I would just @ her directly cause fuck you and the literal rhetoric that lead to fucking massacres of a "third world country" that literally jsut wanted to be left alone

And FYI; the coup resulted in the placement of a heavily corrupt western-ideology leader which directly increased the sheer amount of corruption in Indonesia but ok.

Like theres a whole fucking book on it that I haven't read cause it pisses me off but my sister read it and was like "lol yeah the US admitted to it" and its literally called the Jakarta Method

I probably missed some details and got it wrong cause shocker, I'm talking from my culture's lived experience and passed down fucking cultural trauma but whatever.

It's really fucked up.

Don't quote me on this cause I probably again, got details wrong, but that fucking rhetoric undeniably - by americas own admission - resulted in the death of many Indonesians on the premise of Those Evil Chinese Communists. I'm hesitant to post this cause again, I am speaking from released American documents and my family's personal reports and peer's reports so there might be errors, but ya know what, white americans?

Fuck off. Even if I got the details wrong in some places, it doesn't fucking matter because dear white americans, you still killed millions of people in indonesia in your crusade against communism so please miss me with accusing me - a first generation child from an Immigrant from Indonesia - an Evil Communist.

The sentiment in Indonesia still persists, enough so that when I met someone who was from China (who had a relative who was born and raised in indonesia) heard I was Indonesian-Chinese widened his eyes and went "ohhhhh" and commented that his relative doesn't go home to Indonesia anymore because its fucking dangerous.

Its fucking stupid.

#alter: riku #vent #vent tw #if any people more familiar and directly involved in the indonesian history correct me if you like #but white people can shut the fuck up.#sophiecourse #racism #fucking hate this shit #i hate it #fucking hell

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strongislandsuperfan · 2 years

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Chess, Not Checkers

Taking power back, one chess move at a time.

"To know how to recognize an opportunity in war, and take it, benefits you more than anything else." -Niccolo Machiavelli

In 2018, James was criticized by Fox News host Laura Ingraham, who told him to “shut up and dribble” in response to him expressing his opinion on political and social issues.

According to Uninterrupted Inc.’s trademark filing, the phrase would be used on “downloadable virtual goods” and “other entertainment services”.

It is painfully obvious that the United States of America is at a fever pitch, with tension at an all-time high. Much of the warfare we see today is more of a cultural "cold war" with opposing audiences threatening "cancellation" by way of social media posts or the old fashioned way, which is with violence.

Unfortunately, some are reducing themselves to levels of pettiness and violent behavior, trying to gain the most immediate satisfaction just to get their point across. Some completely ignore the problem and remain silent, hoping that not acknowledging the problem will eventually go away. Some try to combat the madness with kindness and the humiliation either works in their favor or against them.

Others, are taking a more "Machiavellian" route.

Its been my experience that the art of war approach, while time consuming and mundane, gets the best results. This is the day in age where everyone wants something for nothing or wants the quickest results. Its predictable and expected. Taking an unorthodox approach is rare, often times seen as a route that many do not have the patience or the resources for. In some instances, it requires a level of tact that is missing in our world today.

Take this situation regarding Laura Ingraham and Lebron James, for example.

This is a situation that could have easily reduced itself to a shouting match or a petty tit-for-tat roast session that would be plastered all over social media. In some instances, it has but not enough to ignite a after school fight similar to the 80's film Three O'clock High.

I mention this, after this headline broke today on July 25th, 2022 for several reasons. Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and Laura Ingraham is very much entitled to hers, just as Lebron James is entitled to his, whether we agree or disagree. However, an opinion is just that. An opinion. It shouldn't warrant bullying tactics or someone being "cancelled" until a justified explanation is given.

With regards to Ms. Ingraham's perspective, since the conflict in difference of opinion has made headlines & opened up to an uncomfortable conversation that this entire nation needs to have with each other and amongst ourselves, I find her perspective gross, ignorant, hypocritical and bothersome.

She is the same type of person that will demand that these same athletes or anyone of fame, use their spotlight to take a stand and be a role model for the youth, but when its a perspective someone like her disagrees with or has little to no knowledge of because it doesn't line up with her experience or her beliefs, suddenly its an issue and here comes the ,"This country is going to hell" sermon that we are all tired of hearing.

For the record, I promise you my disdain for her & her ignorant statement has nothing to do with politics or Ingraham being a conservative. I'm pretty fed up with you liberals also and if her attitude came from the "Left", she would get the same treatment. I am no respecter of any ideology, political party or whatever famous person that the world puts on a pedestal just to knock them down later. We are human. We make mistakes. Siding with an ideology will not save you, just because someone with a difference of opinion angers you with his or her perspective. Grow up & get over it!

The point is, we can't demand that someone, in the spotlight, use their platform to stand up for what's right or for what they believe in if we are just going to have a fit about it later. Furthermore, we can't demand that someone lives their life as a prototype role model, knowing that not only is it impossible to appease the masses 24/7, but we cannot demand that someone be held to a standard that we ourselves fall short of or aren't willing to do.

So, for Lebron James to take this action, its not only taking power away from those who still see athletes as spoiled attractions who have no right to speak or to have an opinion, its a chess move that places an unlikely piece that no one sees coming, in position to maneuver towards victory.

Checkmate.

#lebron nba #basketball #ballislife #nba #lebron james

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etxrnaleclipse · 1 year

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Benji Dunn Full Biography

History/Family

Benji is the second child to Andrew Dunn and Victoria Dunn. He has one older brother, Jonathan Andrew Dunn, who is four years older than him. Benji’s father worked as an accountant while his mother was a member of the British Army. Being an army child meant moving around a lot for the boys, but they eventually came to like the excitement of moving. The family wound up settling in America when Benji was 13, where he finished his secondary school education, however when he graduated, he applied for and was accepted into Oxford University. Benji returned to England when he was 19 and attended Oxford for his Bachelors and his Masters, and on graduation, he decided that he enjoyed life in America and returned to his family.

As mentioned, Benji has one sibling. Jonathan was born February 22nd 1972. Jonathan married his wife, Emily, in 1999. They have two children, Luke (born in 2003) and Sophie (born in 2009).

Education/IMF

Benji studied Computer Science, with units taken in Biological Science at Oxford University. He graduated with distinctions and high distinctions all around before continuing to take his postgraduate MSc in Computer Science.

Upon returning to America after he completed his masters, Benji was on the lookout for jobs in the field. He took a few here and there, until one day, he found what looked like a great opportunity. It seemed to be just a regular advertisement for a technician job with the Department of Transportation in Washington DC.

Figuring it would be interesting to give it a try, Benji put in an application as the technician and decided to see what would happen. Needless to say, he was very surprised when he was offered a job with them. At the age of 26, he packed up, said goodbye to his family, and moved over to DC. It was only once he arrived there that he found out that this job was far from normal.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE GHOST PROTOCOL He worked in IMF’s technician labs until taking the field exam in early 2011. He spent some time shadowing Agent Trevor Hanaway, a field agent who had been working out on away missions for quite a few years. He later joined Trevor’s team, consisting of the agent himself and Agent Jane Carter. Both agents really took him under their wing and Benji learnt a lot from them, growing to consider them close friends. They ran a few missions together until they were sent after a file containing Russian nuclear launch codes. A simple enough mission, but nothing in their job is ever simple. When it was clear that someone else was after the file, Trevor was killed by a contract killer, Sabine Moreau, and the file was lost.

Amidst their grief for Trevor, Jane and Benji were then sent to extract Ethan Hunt from Rankow Prison in Moscow in order to track down the codes and stop emerging nuclear extremist Kurt Hendricks, codename Cobalt, from detonating a bomb that would throw the United States and Russia into a nuclear war. After their infiltration of the Kremlin was thrown into disarray by Hendricks himself, resulting in the destruction of a large section of the building and the blame falling on the trio, Benji, Ethan and Jane found themselves fugitives. With IMF shut down due to the president initiating Ghost Protocol, they were forced to work underground, along with mysterious chief analyst William Brandt.

After many near misses, the team managed to prevent the detonation and Hendricks was killed. Ethan chose the three to join his team once more and Benji, despite being plagued by nightmares and cold sweats from his first major mission, Benji jumped at the opportunity.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE ROGUE NATION When CIA Director Hunley shut down the IMF for ‘misconduct’ after the events of the Cobalt mission, Benji found himself once again stuck behind a desk. For six months, he was dragged through weekly polygraphs by Hunley to test his loyalties to Ethan, resulting in him having to perfect his lies. When he was tricked into going to Vienna to help Ethan, he realised just how much trouble his friend was in and insisted on staying to help him track down a Rogue Nation, known as the Syndicate, despite the potential risks. Sadly, those risks became a reality when Benji found himself kidnapped by menacing Syndicate leader Solomon Lane, used as leverage to control Ethan’s actions. Lane strapped a bomb to Benji’s chest and placed him on a highly sensitive pressure trigger in a crowded London restaurant, leaving Benji fearing for his life and the lives of those around him. Fortunately, Ethan managed to convince Lane to let Benji go and the team were able to bring him down together. This very near miss has left Benji shaken and despite his attempts to shove his feelings aside, he is struggling with the aftermath. He hopes that with his teams help, he can move on from this.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE FALLOUT Two years after the events of Rogue Nation, Benji has done his best to push through his trauma and is continuing his work as a field agent, even getting to don a mask as he always dreamed to. But with the existence of the remaining Syndicate agents, known as The Apostles and led by a mysterious man John Lark, Benji was pulled back into a world he wanted to forget by having to break Solomon Lane out of prison. He pushed his personal feelings towards the man aside and got the job done, however whilst trying to prevent Lane and Lark from killing a third of the world’s population, he found himself at death’s door once again. Ambushed by Lane, set on finishing what he started in London, Benji was brutally beaten and hung from the neck, almost dying from his injuries in the process. Saved by Ilsa, he was able to work alongside her, Luther and Ethan to prevent two plutonium-based explosives from detonating.

Medical Info

Benji is short sighted and has worn glasses since he was 14 years old. When working, however, he tends to wear contact lenses, as they are far more practical for his line of work.

Benji’s only known allergy is to peanuts. This makes it difficult for him to wear masks in the field as some of the compounds are peanut based. (Inspired by a fanfiction found here)

Benji has no history with mental health issues, however he has developed some symptoms of PTSD following his abduction in London.

His oldest scar is one that runs across his forehead, a straight line above his right eyebrow. When he was 5, he was playing in their grandparent’s garden with his brother, then 9. Jonathan accidentally pushed Benji while playing and Benji fell and hit his head on the bird bath.

His fingertips are calloused from the Cobalt mission, the wiring having cut up the skin quite badly.

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spinningintheshadows · 2 years

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Missing You - Part One

James Barnes visits his mothers grave after the funeral of a friend, he remembers a letter and someone from his past makes a reappearance.

(This is short. Sorry)

The Day of the Funeral of Steven Grant Rogers

January 19, 2024

Snow crunched underneath Bucky’s feet. It was the kind of snow that most people found annoying; snow that had half melted on an unseasonably warm winter day and then refroze in a cold snap. People were dispersing quickly from the graveyard, having paid their last respects to the former Captain America.

The services had been private, graveside, like Steve had told him he wanted (and if he was being honest, he knew Steve trusted him to make sure it had happened that way.) Bucky and Sam had both said some words about their dearly departed friend, tears had been shed, and now while the people in attendance were making their way to the church where Steve’s recently discovered granddaughter (at least to Bucky and Sam) was hosting a meal, James Barnes found himself standing at the edge of a section of graves. Graves that he hadn’t been able to bring himself visit yet, not since the Wakandans had removed the Winter Soldier from his mind.

Ten graves total, he thought. The Barnes family plot. His father, George was one of them and beside him, his mother, Winnifred. Next to his mother laid his sister Rebecca, and her husband Albert. Then was Francesca (Frankie, he remembered calling her), the only grave he’d actually visited because she had died of the flu in 1920. He’d been three years old when she died, equally as sick with the virus and not able to understand why they were putting her in the ground. She was a week shy of ten months old at the time of her death.

Beside Frankie’s grave, there was a stone that read his name, James Buchanan Barnes. Born 1917, died 1945. He could only assume his mother had it put in to give her some closure, knowing that exact plot was empty. Beside him was another stone that brought tears to his eyes. Josephine Barnes. His wife, his first love. He’d left her six months pregnant to go to war. He hadn’t known at that time that it would be the last time he saw her. He hadn’t known at that time his wife was carrying twins, but the name etched underneath his late wife’s was the one that choked him completely. Kathryn Grace Barnes.

He knew from what memories he did have that Kate was his daughter. His wife had successfully delivered a healthy son, but then complications had arose and neither his daughter or his wife had survived. Realistically, he had a box of letters that Steve had saved of his things, the ones he sent back to Becca. They’d mysteriously shown up to his apartment once he’d gotten resettled in America, so he was slowly working his way through them again. He’d read that specific letter a few days ago, so it was still fresh in his mind.

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

My dear brother,

I’m writing to you on this day, October 1, 1943 to inform you of news. Yesterday morning at a quarter after seven, Josie delivered a son. He is healthy, has a good set of lungs on him and looks very much like his father. She named him after you, Jamie. James Buchanan Barnes II.

Ten minutes after his birth, it became clear that something was wrong with Josephine. She was delivering a twin sister to baby James. I wish I had more good news for you, brother, but I’m afraid I do not. Josie delivered the girl, but she had already passed at her time of birth. She named her Kathryn Grace, which was the name she had decided on for James if he had been a girl. She referred to her as Kate.

Jamie, she was beautiful and I just know that if she had survived that in fifteen or sixteen years time you would be fighting off boys trying to court your daughter.

With three sisters, the youngest of which being nearly thirteen years your junior, you know that bleeding postpartum is normal and to be expected, but it became very clear that the bleeding Josie was having wasn’t normal. They called for an ambulance, but by the time they had transported her to the hospital, Josie was gone.

Jamie, I want you to listen to me here. I know your heart must be hurting this far into the letter, but I need you to promise me that you are going to try your hardest to come back. Baby James has already lost his mother and his sister at less than an hour of age, please do not orphan this poor boy. He deserves to have his father, who was so terribly happy and excited to become one, be present in his life.

Until you return home, Albert and I will take care of him. I promise you he will be taken care of and will know nothing but love. The pediatrician has instructed us to use an infant formula of evaporated milk and he has taken to it like a duck to water.

Perhaps I will take him to get his photograph taken, so you may see your son.

I am terribly sorry for bad news, but I hope you are doing well,

Rebecca.

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Bucky could not bring himself to look at that last stone in the plot. He knew it read his name again, but the dates killed him on the inside 1943 to 1966. He knew the story, he’d heard it from a Matthew Rogers, who he learned was conceived shortly before Steve took down the Valkyrie in 1945 and born in January of 1946. Of course, Steve was supposed to be dead, which led Peggy Carter to raise his son alone until she married her late husband. Matthew Rogers finally got to meet his father at the age of sixty five, which was kind of mind blowing if Bucky thought about it too long.

But, the story was Rebecca Barnes did everything in her power so that Jimmy Barnes knew who his father was, claiming he was a war hero and other such things. Jimmy had enlisted when the United States went to war in Vietnam, but much like his father, he never returned to New York alive.

With a sigh, Bucky found himself sitting in the snow in front of his mother’s grave. The ground was cold, but he decided to ignore it, reaching up to brush off the snow that covered the top of his mother’s stone. Someone had been taking care of the Barnes family plot, since all of them were legible and not covered in dead weeds and snow.

“Hi, Ma.” He murmured. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here to see you. I bet you were so mad when you got to the other side and I wasn’t even there.”

“She’s gonna be waiting to kick your ass when you get there, though.” The voice behind him made him jump. He didn’t even hear the person walk up behind him. “Did you get the letters, Jim Jam?”

The nickname is all it took for it to come rushing back. His eyes quickly rushed over the names on the stones, making him realize someone was missing. His baby sister. It couldn’t be, she’d be well into her nineties at that point, but the woman who plopped down beside him didn’t look a day passed forty five.

“Mary?”

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

Taglist: @teelagurl558 @mackenzielovee

#bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #Bucky barnes #Steve Rogers is mentioned in passing #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #post tfatws

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fictionz · 2 years

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New Fiction 2022 - June

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete - "3 Kings" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

Okay so now Solomon's in charge and there's no war so things are good? Except he's going around murdering enemies Godfather-style. And now a parade of kings as we run down the list and deeds of the rest of David's successors.

The Bible, Douay-Rheims, Complete - "4 Kings" ed. Richard Challoner (1752)

I think Eliseus is the star here? But the details of the chapters are more scattered. Perhaps due to winding down the chronicle of the kings. Hazael, Jezrahel, Jezabel, oh my. Oh shit Jehu will not stand for Baal worship. Dang, and Jerusalem has fallen!

Tales of the Dominion War - "What Dreams May Come" by Michael Jan Friedman (2004)

The complacency of fools something something.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Night of the Vulture" by Greg Cox (2004)

As close to Cannibal Holocaust as Star Trek gets.

Tales of the Dominion War - "The Ceremony of Innocence is Drowned" by Keith R.A. DeCandido (2004)

Put up your walls and a gun for every good citizen.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Blood Sacrifice" by Josepha Sherman & Susan Schwartz (2004)

Impatience is a sign of having lived too long.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Mirror Eyes" by Heather Jarman & Jeffrey Lang (2004)

If your place is compromised, that’s your new place.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Twilight's Wrath" by David Mack (2004)

Slash the throat of your master to serve you and yours.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Eleven Hours Out" by Dave Galanter (2004)

The only place to go is the way ahead.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Safe Harbors" by Howard Weinstein (2004)

Call them all in, we’re alone.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Field Expediency" by Dayton Ward & Kevin Dilmore (2004)

Desperation will keep you from seeing it all.

Tales of the Dominion War - "A Song Well Sung" by Robert Greenberger (2004)

When your enemy leaves you bare.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Stone Cold Truths" by Peter David (2004)

The children only know what they see and hear.

Tales of the Dominion War - "Requital" by Michael A. Martin & Andy Mangels (2004)

What will you do, when you find it?

Dracula Daily - "June" by Bram Stoker & ed. Matt Kirkland (1897)

A slow and obvious realization that your friend is not your friend.

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (1990)

The lecture-style of story-telling wears just a bit too thin for my tastes.

"Aquarium" by NoneToon (2022)

It’s hard to make friends, wouldn’t you agree?

"Making art in America. 👁👄👁" dir. Angie Wang (2022)

Please find a way.

Montana Story dir. Scott McGehee (2022)

Leave when you have to leave. Your place is where you choose to be.

Crimes of the Future dir. David Cronenberg (2022)

The subtle ways in which we fall apart.

Watcher dir. Chloe Okuno (2022)

👍👍👍

Jurassic World Dominion dir. Colin Trevorrow (2022)

Give DeWanda Wise her own adventure movie/series.

Top Gun: Maverick dir. Joseph Kosinski (2022)

Get your planes, get your guns, step right up.

G.I. Joe: The Movie dir. Don Jurwich (1987)

Better with no context whatsoever.

Elvis dir. Baz Luhrmann (2022)

That new Elvis biopic is more entertainment than history, but it still helped me get why Elvis was a big deal after growing up on 90s media made by 70s kids who treated him as a joke. And Austin Butler's portrayal of Elvis is :chefskiss:.

The Black Phone dir. Scott Derrickson (2022)

It sets up all the pieces perfectly.

Lightyear dir. Angus MacLane (2022)

I like space and I like adventures but when you’re Pixar there’s a burden to deliver on a certain level of charm that is missing here.

The Cat Returns dir. Hiroyuki Morita (2004)

A neat little fantasy, and you know, I didn’t realize how much I missed whimsical fantasy adventures with some small measure of risk.

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On dir. Dean Fleischer-Camp (2022)

Marcel’s got the improv quips and a lovely story about what it means to stick to family or to let them go.

Goosebumps - "My Hairiest Adventure" (1996)

Body hair and its many wonders.

Goosebumps - "It Came from Beneath the Sink" (1996)

Stick to the book, although it’s neat seeing the beginnings of an actor who went on to success in the horror genre.

Goosebumps - "The Barking Ghost" (1997)

Woof.

Goosebumps - "Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes" (1996)

Sometimes I see that a given book has been adapted for television and try to imagine how they would’ve pulled it off on a low TV budget of the 90s. And with this one, I fretted over the fact that unless they chose to use expensive stop-motion animation, they’d probably find a way to have little people dressed up as lawn gnomes. Sure enough...

Goosebumps - "Shocker on Shock Street" (1997)

Love the book, not the TV episode. Gonna fret any time a fucked up book ending gets swapped for a more tame TV-friendly version.

Goosebumps - "Haunted Mask II" (1996)

You didn’t have to redo everything from the first one. The book knew that.

Goosebumps - "The Headless Ghost" (1996)

Oh. You know, you had something there at the end. A comeuppance would’ve been good.

Goosebumps - "How I Got My Shrunken Head" (1998)

The book was vague in its exact location and cultural references but the TV episode makes it much more specific about which backward people the white westerners have decided to enslave.

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cinemainamerica · 6 months

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youtube

Production Project Commentary

When looking at the different options I could complete for the Production Project I chose to take on the Technical Breakdown Video. I selected this project because I found it similar to the movie vlogs that I enjoyed completing and chose a movie that I have a very big appreciation for. I chose to complete the technical breakdown video on the movie Miracle that is about the 1980 Mens Olympic Hockey Team that beat what was considered impossible odds in defeating the Soviet Union Team. My favorite sport is hockey, so it was not a difficult decision when choosing to watch this movie for the first time, but I was not aware of how this movie is about so much beyond the sport of hockey. It is such an inspirational movie about hard work and uniting as a team, but it also highlights what was happening in the world during that time, as I was not alive during the 1980’s to see first hand how much the The Cold War really affected people's day to day life. I chose to break down in detail the scene when the United States team reached their dream, that many described as impossible, of defeating the Soviet Union. It shows the United States team storming the ice to be with one another in celebration, but also the celebration that was occurring throughout the entire arena with how proud America was of their amateur hockey team. When dissecting the scene there were many aspects that I had not noticed and am appreciative that I chose to do this project so I can now pick up on these cues, but also look at the entire movie with a closer eye to see what aspects I missed in other parts of the movie. When watching the movie I was so focused on the players themselves celebrating I overlooked the crowd and their support and reaction. When the clock buzzed signally they had officially defeated the Soviets I did not notice how many American flags were waving at that moment. Also while completing this assignment I researched in greater detail The Cold War and the effect it had on Americans. I never previously realized how long The Cold War actually was, as it took place from 1947-1991. Americans were living in fear that the country was going to change into a Communist Country. Children in school were taught how to prepare for a nuclear attack and many households bought backyard bomb shelters. This is a time in history that I could not imagine having to endure these events, and the thought of living in constant fear is unimaginable. Having the background information relating to the severity of the effect this war had on Americans stuck with me when looking at this scene in fine detail. It is amazing that this team's victory was able to provide an escape for the outside world, and celebrate the victory of a sports team but also a victory for America. With this film being about true events there is a lot of pressure to capture the events to the magnitude of the real event and celebrations in 1980. I was able to find a clip of the real event and compare it to that of the remake within the movie, and I was speechless with how close in comparison they are to one another. There is a lot of pressure lying on the movie crew when making a movie around such a significant event in history and capturing it to the magnitude at which the real event carried and I was taken back by the power of cinema and all that they are able to create. I am happy with my decision in picking this project to complete, but also with my decision to do it on Miracle. This is a movie that I already considered to be one of my favorite movies, and no matter how many times i have seen it everytime i watch it, it feels like the first time with the emotions that surround the movie, but with being tasked to look at the movie in greater detail using the tools and skills I learned throughout the semester made my love for this movie skyrocket.

“Cold War.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, inc., 8 Dec. 2023, www.britannica.com/event/Cold-War.

“Miracle.” Stream Disney, Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars, Nat Geo, https://www.disneyplus.com/video/3ff70c72-2cda-4828-803a-bd0d22c9a237. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

Naranjo, Roberto. “Historical Analysis of the Cold War.” eHistory, ehistory.osu.edu/articles/historical-analysis-cold-war#:~:text=The%20Cold%20War%20affected%20domestic,working%20conditions%2C%20and%20women’s%20concerns. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

#Youtube

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newsninjablog · 8 months

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Can We talk about Israel?

Please take a look at this article.

It’s is a little piece of Israeli/American history you may have never heard about. Why, you ask, would Israel openly attack a clearly marked American ship, and why did secretary of defense Robert McNamara call off a rescue operation nor

try to stop it? Well no one knows for sure but the men who were there know that the intent of the attack was to sink the uSS Liberty to the bottom of the sea, leaving no witnesses (dead men tell no tales). If you haven’t heard of this; there’s a reason. The press and the 179 survivors were given a stern gag order not the report or talk about it. 50 years later many are still bitter and talking to whomever will listen. If the Liberty had sunk, many say Israel was going to blame the attack on Egypt, with McNamaras full permission and knowledge, and this 9-11 event would have launched America into war with Egypt. This wouldn’t be the first or last time a nation-state false flagged it’s country or another country into a war.

Try to understand that Isreal, the biblical Israel, is a people and a land…The nation-state by the same name is a government and it is as corrupt as our government and would like nothing better than to have the excuse for all out war…and the excuse to completely destroy Gaza. In addition, they would love for us to fund and fight this war with them. None of the facts of the recent attack add up. Please understand that Israel has a state of the art surveillance system unequaled in the world! They no doubt know when a sparrow

Falls to the ground and dies in Gaza. It’s just not believable to me that they missed, completely missed!… an air, sea and ground invasion of their country…

More likely, this was a planned incursion the Israeli government was well aware of (maybe even facilitated) for the purpose of false flagging the West into war. We are supposed to Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. The Palestinian crisis in Gaza should never have happened. Here are some

Facts you may not know about these so called animals who reside in the Gaza Strip. They live in the worlds largest internment camp. It is completely walled off. They can’t go south to Egypt..the border is closed. They can’t enter Israel, unless they have papers which very few do. They can’t sail away because if they venture past their allowed fishing waters and they enter Israeli waters and will be blown to smithereens. It’s a place of zero prospects and zero hope…Is it any wonder it is a breeding ground for terrorists? Somehow I think cutting off the food, water and electric for these 2 million people, and calling them all animals, is not going to result in peace.

It’s not surprising they are calling this attack “Israel’s 9-11.” Remember what 9-11 did for us? It got us caught up in a war, forever changed our way of life and decimated huge portions of our freedoms. I’m viewing everything I see on TV with skepticism . Remember the Syrian girl (we now know was an actress) who testified before Congress after 9-11, that the terrorists in Iraq took the incubators and left the babies to die on the cold floor (tears flowing). That one testimony and the suspicion of WMD’s took us to war with Iraq, only to find out 10 years later there were no WMD’s and no babies taken out of incubators. It was a complete lie and the Syrian girl was a paid actress. The whole thing was a trillion dollar provocation…we went to war, it cost us many sons and some daughters and trillions of dollars that were funneled to military contracts, with huge portions trickling into the back pockets of the Bushes and other bad actor politicians. This is the way of 21st century war. I can clearly see how God could use this very corrupt war making machine to bring about His war to end all Wars, I just can’t be sure what our role as Christian’s is. The only scriptural advice I have is “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.” Therefore i refuse to beat the drums of war. There isn’t a good side…both sides are evil. And please don’t misinterpret my remark. The Israeli people are not evil. They are innocent victims of their corrupt nation-state, just as we are victims of ours. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem and the world, and don’t fall for propaganda that makes one side look like animals…

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ramrodd · 9 months

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What is the historical context behind the Wagner mercenary group's attempted mutiny in Rostov-on-Don?

Wagner finished its job and got out to make it easy for Zelensky to declare victory.

COMMENTARY:

I believe it was theater decided upon by Putin and the Wagner guy to de-escalate the de-Nazification program because it had completed the liquidation Putin had begun to plan in 2013. He had not intended to be as public as things have turned out, but the January 6 insurgency in Washington by the Nazification of the GOP forced his hand against his existential opponents in Russia, the Nazification Oligarchs associated with Bill Browder, Merrill Lynch and Trump’s 2013 staging of the Miss Universe Pageant.

Right now, Africa is Jomini’s Fourth Wall of the battle space. The gallop towards American hegemony led by John Bolton and the Project for the New American Century neo-cons of Bush/Cheney abrogated the authorities of the Dayton Accords that included the NATO-Russia Kosovo Protocols that were poised to occupy the moral vacuum of Africa ahead of China. The continuation of the Cold War positioning of Bush/Cheney were adopted uncritically by Hillary Clinton’s Russian narrative by Obama/Biden, Trump’s unilateral surrender to the Taliban was inexplicable at the time except for reelection optics. but the subsequent exposure of Trump’s treachery and treason revealed by January 6 destablalized something in Russia that ended up with Putin massing on the border with the Ukraine with the intent of de-Nazification of the Dun Bas and putting out that nasty little war as part of the Dayton Accords.

Well, McGovern Democrats like Biden and Hillary have had their heads up their collective assholes in terms of Clausewitz since Watergate and Biden dropped the ball when Putin massed on the boarder. The object of the exercise was to flow in UN Blue Helment Peace Keepers like in Bosnia and enforce a ceasefire, with Putin and NATO just over the horizon. Clinton and the French Foreign Legion UN Blue Helment Peace Makers in Bosnia should have shared a Nobel Peace Prize for putting out a nasty little genocide, but neither liberal or conservative Boomers have any more idea what Pentagon is actually capable of doing than the Pope has of genecology.

So, the Ukraine Incursion has turned out the way it has, but the liquidation of the Nazification elements in the Dun Bas on both sides have been largely completed. Good, bad or indifferent, Wagner is a pro-Putin para-military faction opposed to the Nazification Oligarchs generally associated with America commercial Fascism and January 6 Republicans.

The hope of the Kremlin from what I can discern is that Zelensky accept victory short of the objectives of his current offensive. Zelensky is at a Pork Chop Hill moment in the conduct of his valiant defense of Ukraine. where he needs to shut down lethal military operations and submit to international arbitration. The problem is, he needs America’s enthusiastic support with the UN Peace Keepers and Biden seems to be a bit tone deaf if the combination of Trump and Tommy Tuberville as a proxy for the January 6 Republicans who are committed to impeaching Biden at a moment identical to when Gingrich and Tom DeLay produced the impeachment of Clinton for getting a blow job in the Oval Office just at the moment Clinton really needed a free hand to prevent the genocide in Bosnia before it got started.

So, that’s what I think that’s what the whole Wagner drama represents. IT is essential to understand that Trump and the Kremlin have never had any shared interests with the exception of the creation of the US Space Force, which will complete the American transition from the Military Industrial Complex of the Manhattan Project to the Aerospace-Entrepreneurial Matrix of Apollo 11 and 2001: A Space Odyssey. This whole January 6 Nazification is so 1950s Ivy League Socialism of the John Birch Society.

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k00284075 · 1 year

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Movement Project Statement

My chosen electives for this module were Painting , AMD and PCP.

My project focuses on a combination of movements between women (both platonic and romantic and sexual) along with my experiences as a queer woman and how I move through the world, in particular my experiences of challenging gender and social norms. I took inspiration from, and researched womens and lgbt social movements in history.

Primary research was collected from my own experiences and that of other queer people and women in my life

Secondary Research

PCP and Painting

Tracey Emins and her figure portraits that convery raw female pain

The work of the "See Red Womens Workshops " that were active in the 70s-90s, working with print to assist in social movements.

Louise Bourgeois and her work that documents her experiences being a woman.

AMD

Researched various forms of animation such as motion capture, stop motion and CGI

Referenced my art books for the films Tangled and Spiderman into the Spiderverse to allow me to learn more about what makes characters and backgrounds visually appealing, proportions and composition

PCP: In the screen printing workshops : I used my own experiences of things said to me in regards to my sexuality and used that as a basis for making one of my screen prints. I observed movement and the natural existence of the feminine form through gesture drawing and took the silhouettes and layered them in another screen print to convey the message that all of us are effected/ touched by women around us, they all have an imprint on the people we become.

in the relief/ intaglio workshops: I created a lino stamp of a hand reaching out as I wanted to explore movements of physical touch and the comfort it brings, my favourite image being that of layering the hands in a row which created a visual of a rope which i found to be symbollic in terms of forming strong relationships. When working with Intaglio i continued to work with silhouettes of the female form to create a more abstract image, using colours found in the lesbian flag.

I also researched Lesbian Pulp Fiction which became very popular during the cold war in america, and produced my own satirical novel cover with a digital drawing

Animation: I completes all 5 of the tasks set before us on moodle, which involved the different steps of developing an animation. I researched different forms of animation and learned a lot about the variety in the industry. I developed a short story and with the help of Paul I picked one to storyboard and work on for the remainder of the time in this discipline.

My story was originally about a woman trying on a dress and simply twirling around but I believed it was missing something initially. So i aged my character down to a child who looks to be more of a "tomboy", so that the dress they wear in my animation is intended to look more like a costume and not something they'd naturally wear. I like the changes I made to my story as I was able to create a character with more depth , and a character that mirrors my own feelings sometimes of femininity and how it effects how i move through a heteronormative society.

I made a storyboard, animatic,a character turnaround and designed a background for my animation. Unfortunately I didn't have the time to complete the animation due to the fact I was learning how to use the softwares for the first time.

Painting : In this module I really enjoyed working with a live nude model for the first time in both the drawing an painting workshops. I developed my skills with both charcoal and acrylic paint and it was fascinating, though challenging working with a live model. I attended a tool making workshop where I had the opportunity to think outside the box and make different tools for applying paint, I found it quite challenging at first as I was hung up on making something "good" rather than just having fun and letting myself experiment. Once i had constructed a few tools i used my templates of the feminine silhouettes again and applied the paint following the movement of their bodies

I also worked on an acrylic painting of me and my partner asleep on a bus while travelling together. It shows two aspects of movement, the bus travelling at speed while the two of us have very little movement, as we sleep beside another

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mariacallous · 1 year

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The U.S.-Pakistan relationship has weathered several bumps in the road over the past two years, including, most prominently, the fallout from the Afghanistan withdrawal and the Taliban takeover. The Biden administration has now settled on a bureaucratic division of labor in its policy toward Pakistan: a lack of engagement from the White House; robust, well-defined engagement from the State Department; and a continuation of long-standing military and defense ties. The new equilibrium is different from the past: President Joe Biden is the only U.S. president in recent memory not to have engaged with a Pakistani prime minister (neither Imran Khan nor his successor, Shehbaz Sharif). The bilateral relationship is also notably no longer centered solely around America’s interests in Afghanistan, as it was prior to August 2021: there is an effort by both sides to broaden its base.

Unfortunately, the overall relationship is weak at best. Here are the factors that have shaped the relationship over the last two years:

The Afghanistan factor

At the beginning of the Biden administration, Pakistan recognized the need to redefine the bilateral relationship, until then focused on Afghanistan, as the U.S. withdrawal from that country drew close. Prime Minister Imran Khan’s government pitched the need for a comprehensive relationship with the United States, one based on “geo-economics” — Pakistan’s catch-all for trade, investment, and connectivity — as opposed to a relationship focused on security concerns. The Biden administration wasn’t responsive, and the relationship got off to a cold start. At the time, the United States was focused on Afghanistan and the need for Pakistan to exercise pressure on the Taliban to push it toward an intra-Afghan peace. Then, as the Taliban undertook a systematic military takeover of Afghanistan while the United States withdrew, the relationship cooled further. In the months afterward, although Pakistan helped in evacuations from Kabul and in taking in Afghan refugees, the ignominy of the withdrawal — that the war ended with a clear Taliban victory and in view of Pakistan’s close relationship with the Taliban — pushed relations to a relative low point.

No phone call

Biden has not called a Pakistani prime minister in his more than two years in office. Biden neither mentioned Pakistan during the withdrawal from Afghanistan, nor showed any interest in engaging with the country at that point. The lack of a phone call drew considerable attention in Pakistan during Biden’s first year in office, and was ostensibly one of the reasons Khan declined the administration’s invitation to attend the first Summit for Democracy in December 2021. Even Pakistan’s catastrophic summer flooding in 2022, which elicited a robust U.S. government response, did not prompt a Biden call. Yet in October 2022, seemingly out of the blue, Biden mentioned Pakistan in strongly negative terms at a Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee reception, describing it as “what I think is maybe one of the most dangerous nations in the world: Pakistan. Nuclear weapons without any cohesion.” This statement did not go over well in Pakistan, prompting a bit of a walk back from the administration, though Biden may have really meant what he said.

Initially, the complete lack of White House engagement with Pakistan was somewhat of a puzzle. Now though, it seems it’s White House policy — reflecting the fact that Pakistan is not a priority. For Biden, it might draw from a desire to put Afghanistan behind him — and with it, its neighbor. Throughout Biden’s many years of watching the Afghanistan war from the Senate and then as vice president, Pakistan’s relationship with the Taliban had always been a source of tension.

Pakistani politics

In the spring of 2022, America was drawn into Pakistan’s domestic politics in a sudden, unfavorable manner: Khan blamed his ouster via a vote of no confidence on a U.S. “regime change” conspiracy, without evidence — a narrative that stuck among his supporters. In recent months, Khan has stepped back from the U.S. conspiracy narrative and has more directly blamed the Pakistani military for the fall of his government — the actual story. Still, the narrative complicated the U.S. relationship with Pakistan for months in 2022, as Khan’s supporters considered any engagement between the United States and the new government in Islamabad to be confirmation of the conspiracy.

Ties with State, and broadening the relationship

Although the White House remained silent, Secretary of State Antony Blinken and Khan’s foreign minister, Shah Mahmood Qureshi, spoke several times and met in New York in September 2021. Spring 2022 began a period of robust engagement from the State Department, a mini reset of sorts that has focused on expanding the relationship. In March 2022, the United States and Pakistan launched a year-long campaign marking 75 years of relations. In April, the new U.S. ambassador to Pakistan, Donald Blome, was sworn in. In May, Pakistan’s new foreign minister, Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, met Blinken in New York. The U.S. special representative for Commercial and Business Affairs, Dilawar Syed, visited Pakistan in July to “strengthen the economic partnership and bilateral trade” between both countries. Also in July, the two governments launched a health dialogue. Soon after Pakistan’s flooding disaster hit in August, U.S. Agency for International Development Administrator Samantha Power visited the country, documenting both the catastrophe as well as U.S. relief assistance; the United States has announced more than $200 million in flood assistance. Bhutto Zardari and Blinken met again in September when the 75th anniversary of U.S.-Pakistan relations was officially celebrated at the State Department. The relationship between the two counterparts appears constructive; it has focused on relief and recovery after Pakistan’s calamitous summer of flooding and increasing cooperation on economic matters.

Engagement and diplomacy continue apace on other fronts: State Department Counselor Derek Chollet and a delegation of senior U.S. government officials visited Pakistan in February 2023 in support of the U.S.-Pakistan relationship. The Pakistani commerce minister visited Washington the same month to hold a meeting under the U.S.-Pakistan Trade and Investment Framework — held after seven years — with United States Trade Representative Katherine Tai. Also in February, a U.S. congressional delegation led by Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer visited Pakistan to discuss the “broad-based partnership that includes trade, investment, regional security, and flood recovery efforts.” Pakistan has also been the single largest recipient of COVID vaccines from the United States since 2021.

Defense and military ties

The military leadership in Pakistan had a major transition last fall, with the chief of army staff, General Qamar Javed Bajwa, leaving his post after six years (following an extension). He visited Washington in October before his term ended and met Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin. And the commander of United States Central Command, General Michael Kurilla, traveled to Pakistan to reaffirm security ties after the new chief of army staff, General Asim Munir, was sworn in.

The long-standing defense and security relationship continues (though it is no longer the entirety of the bilateral relationship). In September, the U.S. government notified Congress of a proposed $450 million foreign military sale to maintain Pakistan’s fleet of F-16 fighter jets. The security relationship also includes a key focus on counterterrorism and intelligence that presumably encompasses an over-the-horizon arrangement on Afghanistan — but that specific aspect remains shrouded in secrecy. CIA Director Bill Burns visited Pakistan twice in 2021: once in an unannounced visit in April and then again after the withdrawal in September.

What limits the relationship

Pakistan is in a very different place than when its government pitched a geo-economic reset in early 2021. It is now mired in a political and economic crisis, veering perilously close to default. For the time being, its spiraling economic situation and domestic problems limit its attractiveness as a U.S. partner.

Distrust born out of the last four decades of the U.S.-Pakistan-Afghanistan triangle will take time to overcome, despite both sides’ attempts in the last year at broadening the relationship. And while Afghanistan no longer defines the U.S. relationship with Pakistan, the Biden administration’s approach to its other neighbors, China and India, does restrict it. The administration’s intense competition with China, Pakistan’s long-standing ally; its growing partnership with India, Pakistan’s foe; and its focus on the Indo-Pacific (which excludes Pakistan) has led to a priority shift away from Pakistan. Pakistan has long said it doesn’t want its relationships with the United States and China to be seen as zero-sum, and the United States has acknowledged that it doesn’t see its relationships with India and Pakistan as zero-sum. Yet, the American approach to these two Pakistani neighbors does seem to, at this point, impose constraints on the bounds of the U.S.-Pakistan relationship.

This need not be the case: As I have long argued, Pakistan, the fifth-largest country in the world and a nuclear-armed nation, ought to be seen by the United States on its own terms and not through the prism of its neighbors. A cold shoulder risks pushing Pakistan further toward China — which is neither an inevitable nor desirable outcome for the United States. What’s more, Pakistan’s multiple crises — political instability, economic malaise, and rising insecurity — warrant greater American engagement, not less, and certainly more than the current administration’s policy of fractured engagement from the United States.

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egcdeath · 3 years

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finders keepers

summary: did captain america just steal your cat?

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: tooth rotting fluff, strangers to lovers

author’s note: it’s been way too long since i wrote some pure, self indulgent fluff. this has been quite the refreshing experience for me but i think it’s back to our regularly scheduled program after this ;)

you can find my masterlist and taglist here

Miso had an air of arrogance that you admired. She took the world by its kitty balls, doing whatever she pleased whenever she pleased. Your cat left the apartment for sometimes days at a time, and frequently led male cats to your door. To you, your cat was more like a roommate than a pet, hogging up most of your bed, standing on the counter while you attempted to make food for yourself, and leaving most areas dirtier than she originally found it.

Okay, maybe you were personifying your cat a little too much. But after moving out to D.C., you were unspeakably lonely. Most days, it felt like Miso was all you had, and that you were all Miso had (save for her army of cat boyfriends).

This made things all the more concerning for you when you’d realized that you hadn’t seen your cat companion in five days. Five whole days without the comforting vibration of her purr, her ungodly hours of wakeup calls demanding to be played with, or pet. The cherry on top was that the cat food outside your door appeared to be completely untouched.

In your frenzied realization of your missing cat, your mind raced with a thousand different terrible situations your dear Miso could’ve found herself in. You frantically clicked through pictures of her on an online album and attempted to find a photo that would capture her white fur with large blobs of auburn, and her vibrant blue eyes to put on your ‘MISSING’ sign. The longer you clicked, the more that you began to worry that she had been caught and kidnapped by some terrible person with bad intentions.

You finally threw together the poster, sending it to your phone so that you could print it off at the OfficeMax down the street. Luckily for you, you didn’t make it that far, as the moment you began to lock the closed door of your apartment, you saw the unmistakable figure of your cat.

In the arms of your neighbor.

Now, you’d never met Steve. He was an Avenger, Captain America to be exact, and you were just… you. You’d convinced yourself that attempting to introduce yourself to him would ultimately end in failure, and an embarrassing one at that. Maybe he’d scoff and walk away, or call Tony Stark in front of you and tell him about the crazy woman he just encountered.

But none of that mattered. Captain America was stealing your fucking cat.

“Excuse me, sir?” You asked, stepping away from your door and approaching the Greek God of a man to the right of you.

“Oh, hey! We must be n-“

“You have my cat,” you said bluntly.

“I’m sorry, what?” Steve seemed to do a double take

“My cat, y’know, the feline in your arms.”

“Well, maybe we just have similar looking cats. This is Arabella.”

You nearly scoffed at this, shaking your head. First, Captain America kidnapped your cat, and now he’s trying to convince you that it’s not your cat? Yeah, you’d know Miso from a mile away. And what kind of name is Arabella?

“Arabella is a great name for her,” Steve retorted, pulling the cat closer to his chest. Shit, did you say that out loud?

“Well I think it’s time for Miso to come back home,” the cat’s ears perked at this, and she glanced over at you. The sight of you made her wiggle and hop out of Steve’s tight embrace, landing on her feet and trotting over to you. The damn cat rubbed her face against your calf and purred as if she hadn’t been cheating on you for long enough to have gained a new name.

You squatted down and rubbed the back of your hand against her cheek, and shook your head at your pet, “you’re getting put on probation, young lady.”

She didn’t seem to mind, pacing back and forth around you. You glanced up and saw Steve with a rather neutral expression on his face, as if he was masking whatever it was that he was feeling.

“I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Uh, maybe I’ll see you both around sometime,” disappointment coated his every word before he opened up his apartment door and promptly closed it behind him.

You were surprised at how quickly he conceded, but you weren’t particularly mad about it either. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you never got your Miso back.

——

A whole day later, you’d been in your apartment typing up an email when a soft rapping at your door got your attention.

“Just a second!” you called, hopping up and hurrying to the door. When you opened it, Steve was standing in front of you, waiting with an oversized box in his hands.

“These are some of Ar- Miso?” he trailed off, waiting for you to confirm the name, and you gave him a tiny nod. “These are some of Miso’s toys. I just figured if she’s not staying at my place anymore…”

As if on cue, Miso strolled up to the door, and stretched her arms up on Steve’s leg, begging to be picked up. The man glanced at you for approval, and you gave a dismissive shrug before he set down the box, and held up the cat.

Steve frowned as he held her, and frankly, it pulled on your heart strings. You had to remind yourself that this man had been holding your cat captive for at least a week, and at most… who knows.

She clearly had a connection with him, and that was what intrigued you most. Miso was a very picky cat, and it was only occasionally that she found someone that she genuinely liked, let alone wanted to be picked up by. If you continued to watch the display of affection in front of you, you might just cave.

“Uh, I left something in the oven for a little too long, so I should probably go get that. Thanks for stopping by.”

Steve nodded, understanding that it was time for him to exit.

——

You should’ve seen this coming the minute Miso was back in your home. You stepped out of the shower one morning to find your front door slightly ajar, and your animal nowhere to be found.

You huffed, frustrated that just three days after you told yourself that your cat was completely indoor from that point on, she had escaped. She could literally be anywhere at this point.

In a whirlwind, you threw on a sweatshirt and pants, ready to go print out the missing posters that you had designed just a few days ago. As you slipped on sneakers, you realized something very crucial. She might just be at Steve’s place.

You groaned aloud, rubbing your temple as you thought of how difficult your cat was being. You were becoming a bit nervous to approach Steve, you hadn’t gotten off to the greatest start, and if your cat wasn’t there, things might just be awkward.

Regardless, you knew you needed to try, so you exited your own home, and knocked on the door of Steve’s.

A few moments later, he appeared with your cat in tow.

“Hey!” he paused and trailed off, “I never got your name before.”

“That’s what you care about right now?” you glanced down at your animal. “It’s Y/N, by the way.”

“Hi, Y/N. Miso and I were just enjoying breakfast, if you’d like to join us?”

Was Steve shooting his shot?

“I appreciate your offer, but I think I’m alright. I have to get back to work, and my cat is still in your custody,” your eyes flickered down to the animal who stood proudly by his side.

“Maybe some other time,” he shrugged. “You work from home?”

You nodded, then squatted down to get eye level with your cat.

“I’m jealous,” he chuckled. “Alright, I’ll stop bothering you now. Bye Miso, see you around, Y/N.”

You picked up your cat, who briefly dug her nails into the ground in resistance before submitting to her capture. As you brought her back home, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d made the right choice.

——

Ever since you’d discovered Miso, or Arabella’s secret life, it’s like you couldn’t stop noticing her connection to Steve.

Some days, she’d be gone until the dead of night, when she’d meow and paw at your front door until you woke up. Other times she’d be laying in bed with you, and she smelled distinctly of your neighbor. Your cat had single handedly turned a stranger into a thoroughly integrated part of your life.

It was as if Miso was now your child, and Steve your ex-husband in a Cold War style custody battle, where Miso seemed to prefer her father. It was slightly disheartening. At the very least, you knew she was in good hands.

You held a throw pillow to your chest while you watched a rerun of a sitcom on your television, procrastinating in your work for as long as you possibly could. The sound of a knock on your door pulled you from your trance, and as you peeked through the peephole of your door, you saw a slightly distorted Steve.

Opening up the door, you gave him just the faintest hint of a smile, “what’s up, neighbor? Need me to grab you some treats for Arabella, or something?”

“Kinda the opposite,” he gestured with his head down to the cat squirming in his hands. “I’m gonna be gone on a mission for the next week or so. I just wanted to let you know that if Miso gets out, she’s not with me.”

Steve set her down on your carpet, and she happily collapsed at your feet, “keep her safe for me, alright?”

——

You took a deep breath as you approached his door, hoping he hadn’t left just yet. You fiddled with the sticky note containing your number, and polaroid photo of your cat in your hand, considering turning around and scrapping the idea all together.

It was silly to think that an Avenger would ever bother reaching out to you. You were probably overstepping anyway. Steve would think you were a freak and take full custody of your beloved Miso once and for all.

Going against your better judgment, you set down the polaroid-note combo and quickly slid it under Steve’s door. Whatever happened happened.

The next morning, you were pleased to receive a notification from an unknown number.

Send Miso pics?

You were more than happy to oblige.

——

Over the course of Steve’s week-long mission, you’d sent several pictures and videos of your cat doing random things. Trying to get on the table, sleeping on top of your dryer, and even playing with one of the toys Steve provided.

Surprisingly, Steve wasn’t as dry of a texter as you thought he’d be. He was eating up all of the Miso content, and would occasionally even ask for you to send more photos.

The final night of his mission, you were surprised when you received a FaceTime request, at first writing it off as a technical error (he was from a different time period, after all), but the follow up call demonstrated his intentions.

You cautiously picked up, the knot in your stomach growing as you did so, “hello?”

“Hi!” Steve greeted optimistically, the phone just a bit too close to his face. “Any Miso sightings?”

“Yeah, she’s actually sleeping on my foot right now,” you chuckled, flipping the camera so you could show her off in your dim, lamp-lit bedroom.

“So cute,” he hummed, “how have you been?”

“Me?” you laughed quietly, “I’m not the one on a top secret mission in god-knows-where. But I’ve been fine. How are you?”

“Honestly? I’m pretty tired. Kinda can’t wait to get home and see you and Miso,” he said in a quieter voice.

Your brain stalled out for a second. Steve was excited to see you? You hoped that you were reading this the right way, as you were more than willing to go with whatever it was that Steve was putting down.

“We’ll be expecting an immediate visit from you, then. I’ll let Miso know that she needs to start kneading a bread loaf for you as soon as possible. Any idea of what time you’re getting into D.C.?”

“Probably late morning, but it really depends on when Natasha gets up.”

You had a moment where you realized that you were talking to a real life superhero, and he had just referenced his friend… who was also a superhero. You paused for a second.

“Y/N? Hey, you still here?”

“Yeah! Yeah. I just zoned out for a sec. Well, you better get here safe or else someone is going to be very annoyed with you.”

Steve laughed softly across the line, and you adjusted yourself in bed, yawning softly.

“I’m sorry, I forgot how late it is over there,” Steve apologized.

“Don’t worry, I was up anyway. One of Miso’s boyfriends is pretty upset that he can’t come in here and spend the night with her.”

“Which one?”

“I think that grey one. I don’t really know what his voice sounds like, but she’s been leading him on lately,” you responded, eliciting a laugh from both you and Steve.

“Try to get some sleep, okay? I don’t need you snoozing while I come to visit our girl.”

“You are something else, Steve Rogers,” you said fondly, adjusting your phone one last time as you hugged a pillow. “I’ll get to sleep. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Y/N.”

You hung up, and cuddled into your pillow with a sigh. Calling your dreams that night sweet was an understatement.

——

You seemed to be Steve’s first stop after his mission, stopping at your door with his duffel bag still attached to his arm, and wearing a slightly dirty and much too small white t-shirt.

Expecting his presence, you quickly got the door and gave him a toothy grin.

“It’s so good to see your face without a screen,” Steve commented. Internally, you swooned.

“I could say the same for you, Steve.”

Miso had been summoned by the sound of Steve’s voice, practically sprinting to the door and meowing at him on the top of her lungs.

“Miso really appreciates you coming here to see her first,” you added as he lifted her up and quietly cooed into her wrinkly head. “Feel free to take her for the next few days. I’m sure she’s getting tired of me.”

Steve shook his head at you, and grinned, “that’s so sweet of you,” he briefly looked down at his wristwatch, and his brows raised.

“Shit. I have to go, but I promise to see you soon. I’m glad to see that everything is well. Take care, Y/N,” Steve began making his way back to his own apartment, and you watched him with the semblance of a frown.

You really needed to stop longing for the unobtainable.

——

You hadn’t heard from Steve in a few days following his return, and your brief interaction with him. Part of you wondered if he was avoiding you for some reason.

Your phone lit up the room as it went off, and you grabbed it to look at the notification you received.

A picture of Steve grinning with Miso sitting on his chest looked back at you with a simple message connected to it.

Wanna come over? :D

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america x you #captain america fanfiction

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animefreak1145 · 3 years

Text

The Brilliance of Break On Through

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Mission Break on Through—An Analysis

I have replayed the campaign of COD:BOCW numerous times—too many times truly. Did a whole playthrough where it was Hardened and soon I’m sure I shall do Veteran(something I have never done for any COD game. Not even Hardened.).

All missions have their own unique qualities—parts where the player gets a little rush of adrenaline depending on the kind of mission and how they choose to play it (Nowhere Left to Run just a plain shooting match while Brick in the Wall you can choose to remain stealthy like the good spy you are or go crazy like an eager homicidal maniac).

Even within the safehouse, there are plenty of little details to discover if you take the time to look around and observe everyone. Or, everything. (The radio if turned to a Russian station/correspondence, Adler changes it back immediately before Da Nang mission. Watching Park’s body language, as you talk to Adler and she periodically looks over to you two. Adler suspicious when you go to the Red Room or the locked room with the arcade. The T.V. being turned on in the Red Room)

But the amount of details, details, in the mission Break on Through is outstanding. I have played this mission more than any other due to me wishing to look at all the details. There’s so many, I think I may miss some. And I can’t show them off all to you cause I suck at creating gifs and don’t know how to transfer that from Xbox to my phone.

To lighten it up a bit, I won’t focus on the four different scenarios you go through—at least not each one. That would take too long and I do not have gifs/pics to show it off since Tumblr limits it to ten anyways.

I will, however, try to guide to what parts of the game you all can explore if you choose to do so. As well just how detailed they did this mission.

I am going to start with the different statements Adler says to you throughout all the Scenarios(17, 6, 11, 1). We only go through four in the actual game—but the fact it goes up to 17 or possibly more shows just how far they went in and messed with Bell’s mind.

Now, Adler seems to be a bit bipolar on how he talks to you whether or not you listen to him and all his directions. Either totally blasé and cold to giving you and pumping you up with more MK or meds, or actually a tad concerned and patient as he guides you through.

If You/Bell Stands Still/Does Nothing:

Example 1

“So you did nothing? What were you, in shock?”

He throws the words callously, mocking. As if Bell isn’t confused and lost at what is going on. He even sounds irritated that you might actually be in shock due to these memories that are just fake—not even real. Not like what he has.

Example 2

“What’s wrong with Bell?” -Adler

“I’m not sure. . .” -Park

“I guess we’ll just wait on you to proceed, Bell.”

The contrast is dizzying. He sounds concerned when he asks Park on what could be wrong with you. If he pushed you too far and now you’re just frozen. And, instead of rushing you due to how the fate of half of Europe is at stake, he decides to give you space. Just wait for you and you’ll come out of it soon enough.

He does these sort of reactions numerous times. Jumping from intimidating to the Adler we knew as the player, as Bell—kind and always in your corner that believes in you. He switches tactics based on what he believes will work really—or he just felt really on edge at times and threw the farce that you two were friends out the window.

Other examples include:

Scenario 11–Napalm Strike-in the lab in the room where you were brainwashed

“Christ, what’s happening with them?”-Adler

“A mild seizure. Sims, past me a benzodiazepine.” -Park

Again, concerned. Worried. Almost…at unease?

In the lab—tripped up on drugs. If you run through the tight shrinking hallway back and forth like so(I suck at making gifs, I’m sorry):

“Why is Bell repeating themselves?”

“Bell, stop speaking in circles.”

Now, as others may have suspected, Bell is talking to everyone as they’re stuck in this horrible loop of mental torture. Most likely muttering, hands clenching and arms pulling against the straps of the gurney, moving their head back and forth depending on what they’re seeing. I always saw Bell as muttering quickly in Russian as they go through all of this—their mother tongue where it may comfort them as they’re panicking and speaking to Adler.

It’s just a nice detail showcasing how exactly Adler knows that Bell is on script—Bell saying what they’re seeing and doing and what’s going on. It shows also just how hard they put Bell through the ringer(badum tss. I’ll leave now).

All the details too when the game shows how the drugs they put in Bell affects you. Like so. The hallways appearing long. The lights looking yellow. You feel so fast—look how quick you can run. Run towards the Red Door that Adler so desperately wants and maybe this can stop. Ah, why is it running away from you? What’s going on?

I don’t know about you, but I was so lost and confused at what was going on my first playthrough. For the majority of this mission, the possibility of me being brainwashed didn’t reach the BACK of my mind till probably I actually saw the flashes of scenes about Vietnam and calling Bell a subject. So like right here.

I personally thought that I had a repressed memory or something due to me going through the Vietnam War. That whatever I saw with Perseus, I—or rather Bell—repressed it from our mind due to how violent or horrible what we saw or experienced was. And that Adler suspected and just really wanted to know about it.

I didn’t expect for the man to actually brainwash my character—us—Bell! The game made Adler your mentor, who always defended you from Hudson and believed in your skills very highly. How he and Bell were basically perfect partners when the two of you were together.

It’s amazing—cause I think that’s what the developers were going for. The absolute trust. The loyalty. The denial that ‘maybe Adler is being a little harsh but hey, this is to help Perseus so it’s okay?’ It’s perfect. Because I’m sure that is what Bell actually felt in real time.

Yet, if you go through the total rebellious choice of not listening to Adler, some thing’s make sense. The Rebellious Side shows you way more than if you just listen to Adler like a Dutiful Soldier.

You go through this room if you choose the rebellious route, the T.V.’s automatically turning on the closer you get. Of Vietnam. And now, all those T.V.‘s that turned on by themselves(the Red Room, Lubyanka, Cuba) make sense. You were actually being brainwashed. Poor Bell probably can’t ever have a turned off/broken T.V. again. The trauma.

Said trauma being shown multiple times too. Not just the T.V.‘s. But the absolute terror that Bell felt, before they became Bell, with Adler.

Like do you see this? This terrified me when I saw it at the end of the hallway. I just saw a red shadow in the distance and I legit thought I was about to be chased. Call of Duty became a horror game(I also went through the door to the ground too my first playthrough, so before this I went through zombies and I think my heart was going to jump out my chest) I thought. I didn’t want to get closer. I had to, with each step I see that it’s not a shadow but a body. And than I see the familiar jacket, the sound of whirring in my ears and see it’s Adler’s head being twisted back and forth, side to side, up and down, in a speed that in inhumanely possible.

Makes one wonder if Bell themselves sees Adler as inhumane. Not human. Adler seeming to just be a god in their head. All the Adler shaped rocks/boulders you go through and see. Even one point the V.C. becoming Adler and you killing him over and over and dead bodies of Adler being everywhere.

The man has entered Bell’s head and won’t leave. Just like Adler won’t leave Bell alone.

Heck, there’s one point in my playthroughs of this mission I was by the bridge yet there were parts of the lab by it. I jumped towards it, noticing down below there were different floors of the lab that eventually reach the ground. I jumped to reach the next floor and missed and I died.

And Adler mocked Bell committing suicide.

That was the kicker really that Adler truly is indifferent towards Bell. Like complete disregard. I know it’s fake. We know it’s fake. Adler knows it’s fake—but to Bell, it felt real. That’s the crazy part. All of this—this whole sequence feels real to Bell so each time they die they actually feel it. It’s insane. It’s cruel.

But we all know that Adler isn’t known for his kindness. Still like his character though, he’s layered.

I don’t have the exact quote he said, didn’t wrote it down like the others. I was shook he said it at all.

Moving on to the final details I’m going to talk about.

When you go through the room, I believe this comes out for both rebellious and dutiful, really depends. You see it filled with post it notes, articles, plans, and newspapers. And you see once more just how Bell has been scarred.

I don’t know Russian or German, but I imagine the notes are similar to what the English one’s say. If I’m wrong, please point it out.

There’s also post it notes which I believe is in code as well due to all the numbers—I’m not sure what those could mean since I am no decoding expert.

Poor poor Bell. And with all these pictures and plans—of Adler included—it begs the question that Bell may have been warned about the famous America’s Monster beforehand. Had to have—since Adler is basically Perseus’s adversary due to how stubborn the American man could be. It just adds more to the story, despite Cold War having quite a short campaign, they made it up somewhat with all these details everywhere.

When you finally and actually reach the room.

As you grow closer to the table, to your chair in the conference room while everyone else seems to have their own spots, there’s something I noticed.

There’s glasses. As well as a hat. And it’s Bell’s. Or at least, it used to be. Why else is it on their side of the table? By their chair? I believe it might be reading glasses due to all the decryptions Bell does, whether on paper or through a computer, it’s hard on the eyes. (I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this. For look at @second-vtoroy ‘s Bell)

I believe through the brainwashing, Bell might not need glasses anymore. After all, apparently they were a smoker like Adler before too but they took that out of you. What else they changed of Bell? It makes one wonder how far they truly went into molding a person.

Which just adds onto how mind boggling this mission is—this game is. This is my favorite COD game, despite how short it is. The details and choices and interactions with everyone and able to create your own character(albeit it’s very standard and not specific but it’s good enough for me) is AMAZING. I’ve always been a sucker for RPG’s and able to get that even a little in a COD game? Truly wonderful.

I couldn’t touch on everything because it would’ve gotten long, but the fun of the Break on Through mission never gets old. It’s genius multiple ways you can do it. All the details. The feelings you feel as a player as you go through it.

They truly did a unique job with this and I hope they continue with this type of game storytelling. Hopefully longer as well.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this rant basically!

Gifs made by me and used the video down below to help.

https://youtu.be/t6QkmkGGHSQ

youtube

#russell adler #call of duty #cod #black ops cold war #call of duty cold war #cod cold war #cod bell #cod analysis #cod:bocw #call of duty analysis #bell call of duty #Adler and Bell #Cold War

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sincerelythedarkside · 3 years

Text

Who We Are || Part V

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Dark!Reader

Summary: You know what you want out of life. You want to be loved—to be safe. You want to be taken care of and to take care of someone who will appreciate it. But you’ve been shackled, trapped in a never-ending nightmare. And your only saving grace will be enticing the dark side of America’s golden hero to want you—a game of who’s manipulating who.

SERIES WARNINGS: 18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI. Dubcon sex, noncon/rape, somnophilia, manipulative behaviour, possessive behaviour, dark themes. Do NOT read if these are triggering for you.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: None

[Set after Civil War & the Accords were abolished]

Note: The modern world is lost on Steve Rogers LOL

PART I || PART II || PART III || PART IV

Count: ~3.6k

➵➵➵☽☾➵➵➵

The room felt damp and slightly cold.

"Oh, god," Blake groaned as he opened his eyes, hissing at his mild headache. He sat up, pressing his palm into his eye to relieve the pressure.

Looking around, his heart started to race. He was in a cell, kept in by glass rather than bars. There was a bed in the corner, a toilet, and a sink. Barren, otherwise. It was unnerving looking at the completely white walls.

He checks his pockets, but this phone and wallet are gone.

"Hello?" Blake called out wearily. "Is somebody there? I—I think there's been some kind of mistake."

"There's been no mistake, Blake Henley," the voice said, deep and calm. "You're meant to be here."

"Please," Blake pleaded, standing up and coming up to the glass, trying to peer out. It was dark, the only light coming from the fluorescent bulbs in his room. "I haven't done anything! Who are you? Let me out!" Blake bangs on the glass. It hardly even vibrates. It must be some kind of reinforced glass.

Blake sees something in the back, hiding in the shadows. He squints as the figure steps forward, recognizing the familiar boots and pants before—

Blake swallows hard as he comes face to face with his captor.

"Why are you doing this?" Blake asks because it's clear he's not going to be rescued. "Why has Captain America kidnapped me?"

Steve stares through the glass, eyes blank and lips pressed in a thin line.

"I don't think you're in a position to ask any questions, Blake. Let's behave and see where that gets you."

➵➵➵☽☾➵➵➵

Blake is missing.

But no one suspects anything but you. Your father had said something about Blake calling in for an emergency. His mother apparently had a bad fall down the stairs, and Blake needed to fly to Washington to take care of her for a couple of weeks.

It was a plausible emergency. Blake had spoken about his ill mother who lived in Washington at one of the weekly dinners.

But you knew he was missing. Anyone who used social media would know. Facebook was quiet since Blake was more a lurker than someone who actively posted.

Snapchat, however, was Blake's go-to social media app. And they had recently launched a new feature called Snap Map.

And when you checked Blake's location...he was outside the city limits.

Another thing that threw you off was Blake's latest text to you.

Blake: I'm sure Henry has told you I will be out of town for a while. I'll probably be MIA for a while. Sorry to cancel our plans next week, but I'll make it up to you.

It was thoughtful and straightforward. Something Blake would really say.

But only in front of others. Only if it's beneficial to his ruse.

Blake was the type to like her photos or leave comments on Instagram and Facebook. He was the type to show up to her house with flowers knowing other people were home. He'd talk to her friends or family about what he could do for a date with you.

He would never text you privately something caring—because there was no need to. Blake knows his role in Henry's grand scheme.

You weren't really sure what to make of his text, but you still texted back, trying to see what his reaction would be.

You: No worries. Sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she gets better.

The only thing you could think of was Steve. You couldn't say for sure, but it was just a feeling in your gut. And you were going to test that theory the next time you saw him.

You pulled out your phone, rechecking Blake's location. He hadn't moved in a week. You hum as you begin to dial.

There was an answer after the first ring.

"Hey," Steve sounded breathless.

"Hi," you answered shyly.

"What's up?" Steve asked, and you could picture him running his hand through his hair.

"I was wondering if you were free to have lunch with me today," you ask, sounding demure and unsure.

"Yeah, of course," Steve agreed. "I'm just finishing some work up now but why don't you text me what you're in the mood for and I'll meet you there?"

"Okay," you add a tint of happiness to your tone. "I'll text you."

"See you later, sweetheart."

You hang up, feeling perplexed by Steve's insistent use of the pet name for you. It seemed that once he started, he couldn't stop. You didn't mind, though. It was just another piece of evidence of how Steve wanted you.

It was still rather early, so you went into the kitchen and saw your mom sitting there with a glass of wine.

"Hey, mom," you greeted her with a kiss at the temple.

She was startled as she looked up at you. "Oh, hey, honey. I didn't realize you were still home."

"Just for a little bit. I'll be heading out for lunch soon. It's a bit early for wine, isn't it?" You cock your brow at her.

Your mom merely chuckled and shook her head. "It's not early if you didn't sleep."

"Sleeping problems again?" You asked, thinking about why that must've been why Henry didn't come to your room last night. "You should really see a doctor about that."

Your mum nods a little tiredly but gives you a smile. "I think it's just too much energy. Maybe I should walk around the block a couple of times."

You hum, still concerned but dropping it since your mother didn't seem to want to speak about it anymore. You make yourself some coffee before going back up to your room.

It was probably still too soon, but you began to plan what to get Steve for his birthday in the next month. Getting something expensive for someone like Steve would be meaningless. You knew he'd appreciate it and treasure it since it came from you, but it would hold no meaning. He was a man who probably didn't have any problems getting what he wanted material-wise (provided he wasn't a fugitive).

So, you needed to get him things that would be more sentimental, something memorable.

You smile as you start to write down a few ideas and people to call.

➵➵➵☽☾➵➵➵

Steve smiles down at his phone.

You've been so shy with him lately. Bashful but not pulling away and Steve couldn't help but indulge in it.

He's starting to find it harder to pay attention to Sharon or sleep with her when all he can think about is you. Steve hasn't broken up with Sharon yet. He's still thinking of how to do that. He doesn't want to hurt Sharon...

A movement from the corner of his eye catches his attention, and he looks up at the monitor in front of him. It was Blake, starting to pace back and forth again.

It had been a week since he captured Blake, but he wasn't anywhere closer to getting his answers. He just wanted to understand why you had chosen someone like Blake. He was so...bland, and whatever you shared with him was so empty.

Steve got that from rifling through Blake's phone. He's checked your texts and any social media app interactions. There wasn't anything privately spoken. Your texts with him really only spoke to arranging dates and when he was coming to your home for dinner with Henry.

Blake only seemed crazy for you publicly. Always liking and commenting on your photos or always posting to your wall. So superficial, Steve can't understand it.

So far, Steve hasn't gotten any useful information out of Blake. The young man didn't seem to know why Captain America had captured him and only kept spouting off that he could give Steve money if that's what he was looking for. The only other thing was Blake continuously saying that Steve must have the wrong person because the only thing Blake buys illegally is weed, and if Steve wanted his dealer's information, he'd be happy to give that as well.

But that wasn't what Steve wanted. He wanted to know why you had agreed to go out with someone like Blake. He wanted to know why you kept saying it wouldn't work with him.

"Please...please! Just let me out, I won't tell anyone..." Blake wails, and Steve sighs before checking the time.

He should probably leave now if he wanted to meet up with you on time.

➵➵➵☽☾➵➵➵

Steve sees you first before you see him, and he takes a moment to take you in. You look absolutely gorgeous in your sundress as you search around for him. His chest expands almost painfully when you spot him, smiling wide as you walk towards him.

Standing up, Steve greets you with a kiss on your cheek and a hug, his fingers stroking your shoulder blades. He lingers a moment too long when he feels you shiver in his arms from his touches.

"Hey, sweetheart," Steve pulls back with a smile as he opens a chair for you to sit down. "I got us a patio table, hope that's okay?"

"It's perfect, Steve," you sit down, thanking him with a smile as he sits back in his own chair. "Was work okay? I hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

Steve shook his head. "Nah, you weren't. But speaking of work, Tony's birthday is going to be in a week and I was wondering if you'd come?"

You looked surprised before shyly pinching at your earlobe. "You want me to come?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah," he smiled. "I think it'd be great for you to meet the team. It's been a while since the last of us have been really together since that night at the casino. Wanda and Vision will be visiting for Stark's birthday too."

"It sounds like it'll be a big event," you smile.

Steve nodded. "Knowing Stark? Yeah, it'll be. It'll be good for all of us. Things have been tense since the Accords even though they've been abolished."

You nod understandingly as you reach across the table and place your hand atop Steve's comfortingly. He smiles at you before he turns his hand over to hold yours.

You let the heat flood your cheeks as you give one last reassuring squeeze before letting go. Steve looks at you amusedly.

"Yeah, I mean, if you think it's okay that I come, I would love to," you clear your throat before saying.

"It's more than okay," Steve says as the waitress comes by to grab your orders. "Did you want me to come pick you up? Sharon said she had to be there early."

You tilt your head with a smirk. "That would be lovely...but I don't think riding on a motorcycle while in a dress will be good for me."

Steve lets out a laugh. "I'll be picking you up in a cab, there's no worry."

"In that case, I would be happy if you accompanied me," you teased.

Steve smiles as the rest of the lunch is smooth. He takes the time to sit there, listening to you chat and feels warm. You just talk so...easily. It makes Steve feel at ease because he's not scrambling to come up with topics to talk about.

Being in the modern world, Steve had always felt so displaced. It felt like he was constantly trying to keep up with topics. It was nice that you talked about many things, and if it was things Steve didn't know, he didn't feel weird about asking you more about it.

By the end of the lunch, you had moved your chair closer to his so you could show Steve the puppies one of your coworkers had gotten and chatted about whether dogs were something Steve or you had ever thought about getting.

It was then you had some notification come in from an icon Steve recognized. Yellow with a white ghost outline. He'd seen it on Blake's phone as he rifled through it. It didn't seem like anything but some kind of photo-taking application, but Blake did get plenty of notifications from it. Steve hadn't touched it since he was unsure of the purpose.

"What's that?" Steve asked.

"Hm?" You hummed as Steve pointed at the notification before it went away. "Oh, Snapchat? It's like a picture sending social media app. You can send people photos or videos back and forth but the other person can only view it once—or twice if they're quick enough to replay it. Once the photo or video runs out of time for viewing or you click out of it, that's it."

Steve frowned. "I don't understand. Why would you only want to be able to see a photo or video once?"

You smile at the innocence of Steve. It was amusing to see something dark lurking just beneath the surface but also have moments like these.

"Well," you giggle. "It does have many uses. Like maybe someone is sending another person a...risqué photo or video and doesn't want the other party to be able to keep it. Snapchat notifies the sender if the photo or video is screenshotted or recorded."

Steve blushed. "So...it's that kind of app?" He frowned at the thought of you using it. Were you sending Blake risqué photos and videos?

You laughed and shrugged. "It could be used like that. Generally, I think most people just use it to send photos of any kind. Their lunch, where they are, who they're with, really anything. It's popular because, in this day and age, everyone loves taking photos but not all photos need to be permanently documented."

Steve merely stared at you, and you chuckled some more.

"It's like...here, think about it like this," you say. "You like drawing, right?"

Steve nodded.

"So, do you think everything you draw should be hung up in an art gallery? Or do you have some photos that are just meant to be in your sketchbook? Maybe you show a couple of people, but there's also a chance you might throw it away after too?" You tilt your head.

The way you say it just dawns on Steve, and he nods understandingly, feeling warm as he smiles at you.

You grin back at him before you open the Snap in front of him. It was one of your friends sending you a photo of their lunch with a caption and stickers.

"Do you mind if we take a picture together?" You ask Steve with an unsure smile. "It won't circulate anywhere but it might be fun."

Steve nods quickly, and you beam at him as you lean in closer to him, holding your phone up. He's got a boyish grin while you have a peace sign up as your head is tilted towards him.

It's a great photo, showing the sunny day with a playful tone. Steve likes it because it's a memory captured of you so close to him.

"Is there a way to save the photos you take?" He asks, and you nod.

"Could you save it and send it to me?"

You turn your head to look at him, cheeks warm as you give him a nod with a tiny smile.

You send off the photo to your friend, immediately getting a chat message about what a lucky bitch you are.

"Oh!" You say as you slid your phone closer to Steve to see. "There's one more feature I forgot to tell you."

Steve watches as a map shows up on your screen with some kind of cartoonish people standing in New York and other places. Yours seemed overcrowded.

"Snapchat also has a map feature that shows other people you have added where they are if their location services are turned on. See? This is me and it shows where we are."

Steve felt his stomach drop as he stared at your phone.

Blake must've had this feature on for his phone.

The only saving grace was that the map automatically was zoomed into the general area you were in. But if you zoomed out, you'd undoubtedly notice that Blake was still actually in the state.

You and any one of Blake's friends.

That bastard.

➵➵➵☽☾➵➵➵

Blake woke up startled.

He sat up immediately, seeing a brown bag he assumed food was in. He looked up and saw Captain America standing right outside on the other side of the glass.

Blake dug into the brown bag and ate the burger and fries in there before looking at the hero.

"Please...please, just tell me why I'm here. What have I done? If I've done something, I still have rights to a lawyer!"

Steve ignored the repetitive cries of the stuck up man before him. He merely pulled out Blake's form, waving it with the Snapchat app open.

"This is about mutual trust, Blake. How can I talk to you if I don't trust you? You must've been relying on your friends to notice you were still in New York instead of helping your poor mother in Washington," Steve sighed. "I had to open your 'Snaps'—that's what they're called, right? I don't think I'll ever understand this age where people feel the need to send pictures of their food, drinks, or whatever catches their eye. It's easy enough to imitate, though."

Blake's face crumpled as he realized Steve had turned off his location services and had kept up pretences with his friends.

"No...please, I'm sorry. I—I didn't realize. Those kinds of things just slipped my mind."

Steve hummed on the other side.

"I'll take your word for it because trust is supposed to be mutual, isn't it?" Steve said with a smile, and Blake nodded.

"There is a reason why you're here," Steve admits. "We're currently investigating someone. I can't share the details with you, obviously. But it doesn't look too good. Our intel came up that you're a close contact—dating."

Blake swallowed, and Steve watched the man's eyes dart back and forth, obviously trying to think which girl he was seeing could've done something so bad that the Avengers were looking into her.

Steve pulled out your photo, blown up professionally on an 8.5 by 11 paper, as he pressed it against the glass for Blake to see.

"Familiar?"

Blake's mouth stuttered, opening and closing as he stared at your picture.

"I mean, yes, but I don't know her that well!" Blake automatically admitted.

"Don't know her that well?" Steve cocked his brow. "You have dinner at her house every week. You've gone on dates, haven't you?"

"I eat with her family and I went out on one date with her!" Blake emphasized. "I don't know anything about her and I'm not supposed to."

Steve's eyes narrowed in at Blake's words. "Supposed to?"

Blake's eyes widened as he realized what he said, looking momentarily scared before remembering the situation he was in. If he didn't spill the truth to Captain America, he was going to be stuck here. Blake didn't need to be smart to know what the Avengers were capable of.

"It's an arranged marriage," Blake quickly confesses. "Set up by her stepdad. I thought the entire thing was old-fashion but he's my boss and the man was guaranteeing my whole future if I just married his step-daughter."

"Why does he want to marry her off?" Steve cocked his brow. It wasn't like you had a shortage of options. Arranged marriages nowadays, especially in New York, seemed outdated. You weren't from a prestigious family, nor were you royalty. Why?

"I don't know," Blake answered, and Steve stared at him. "Seriously, I don't know!"

Blake sighed stressfully. "All Henry told me was that if I wanted to secure my future, then I needed to marry his daughter. Henry was very explicit that I treat his daughter's boundaries 'respectfully', but he understood that I'm a young male that has needs. The marriage is strictly business and it was clear I could see other people but I needed to be discreet and keep up pretences."

Steve scrunched his nose and curled his lip in disgust. "So, you just string her along while seeing other people because she won't have sex with you?"

Blake rolled his eyes. "I think you're getting the wrong idea, pal. It's not like she's unaware of the circumstances. She's got a strict stepdaddy and she does what he tells her to do. We're both playing nice with each other. I highly doubt she feels anything for me except tolerance and maybe acceptance."

Steve stands there, taking in the information. If that was the case, why wouldn't you see Steve just like Blake was seeing other women?

This was a problem Captain America could fix.

Was Blake the best option your stepdad could come up with? Surely, he would find America's golden hero a much better option. Steve would dote on you, love you, cherish you. Bedroom activities, frankly, was none of your stepdad's business, but Steve wasn't above lying and saying nothing was happening.

So, why?

"So, if you actually want someone who knows something, maybe you should check with Henry." Blake's voice drew Steve out of his thoughts. "Although I wouldn't recommend kidnapping him as he is a notable person," Blake said sarcastically.

Steve didn't react to the tone as he turned to leave.

"No, wait!" Blake yelled. "I told you everything I know! I'm not close with her! Aren't you going to let me out? I swear I won't tell anyone!"

Steve turned back, quirking his eyebrow at the man. "As I said, Blake. There has to be mutual trust. So, I need to verify your information...and I need reassurance about your silence. Behave and we can talk about it after I check out your story."

Steve turned back and kept walking, ignoring Blake's echoing bellows.

PART VI

#steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve x reader #dark!steve x you #dark steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction #dark steve rogers fanfiction #dark!reader #s.myfics #series.whoweare

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clonerightsagenda · 3 years

Text

Trying to pitch Arden to my brother maybe 2 hours after his plane touched down inspired me to make a post about audio dramas I like that I think are criminally underrated. If you’ve been following me for any length of time you have heard about them all already, but now you get to hear about them again.

Arden: ‘True’ crime but the crimes are Shakespeare plays, hosted by two bickering co-hosts and their quirky billionaire sponsor. Season one (Romeo and Juliet) is set up as the in-universe podcast, complete with fake ads and editorial adjustments, while season two (Hamlet) is a more standard audio drama. Starts as a comedy and slides hard toward drama in season 2 - it’s smart, thoughtful, and has a lot to say about the ethics of mining the worst parts of people’s lives for entertainment. 2 seasons out, waiting on season 3, which will be A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Alice Isn’t Dead: By the same team as WTNV, but while I had trouble keeping up with WTNV because of the expanding cast and storylines, Alice is a lot more contained. A trucker goes in search of her missing wife, traveling through a landscape I can only describe as... American highway gothic? Think American Gods type vibes, where oracles lurk in highway stops and monsters dwell at roadside attractions. One of the podcast’s most stirring, beautiful speeches is telling us all to unionize. Love that. Complete and relatively short.

Janus Descending: This is a short one, although I can’t in good conscience say short and sweet. The logs of a two person space expedition, who we know from the beginning met with a terrible fate. But what happened? Clever use of chronology and narration keeps you guessing. I don’t know what the author’s intent was, but I took it as some pretty brutal commentary on the weaknesses and cruelty hidden in our own hearts. The space snakes are kinda secondary. Complete, like 2 hours.

Greater Boston: A podcast about the interconnectedness of community, as shown by a huge cast of characters as their lives become tangled up in the politics of Red Line, a new city formed when the Boston MBTA’s Red Line seceded. While other stories might be called anti-capitalist because they’ve got an evil corporation, this one really digs into how big business corrupts our politics and shatters our communities. Can be a bit of a slow start, but once it gets going it really gets going. Fantastic believable characters, and monologues that will break your heart. 3 seasons out, 2 to go, currently delayed because pandemic.

The Pasithea Powder: An interplanetary war ended when one side tried to weaponize the titular Pasithea powder, a substance that can erase memory. Two former friends - a war hero and a woman who helped create and then tried to destroy the substance - are drawn back together when they discover a conspiracy involving the Pasithea powder, an extraterrestrial threat, and the machinations of Sinister Space NATO who wants to consume both warring planets. Morally grey characters keeping lots of secrets - sometimes even from themselves. Ongoing. In places the audio quality has been an unfortunate victim of the pandemic, but you stop noticing it.

Ars Paradoxica: A modern scientist accidentally invents one-directional time travel, landing near the end of WWII and getting sucked into America’s Cold War maneuvering. A podcast full of complicated, nuanced characters (diverse, too, proving you can’t use ‘it’s a period piece’ as an excuse) and a fresh take on time travel (and a grim take on what governments would do with it). The ending annoyed me from a narrative perspective but overall, it’s really good. Complete, 3 seasons.

#the second citadel is an underrated podcast within a podcast #w359 but you care about the women is ALSO a niche podcast within a podcast at least fandomwise #can you tell what I think the REASON these are all criminally underrated is

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cazimagines · 3 years

Text

Try not to forget me

Synopsis: Anon request: Can we have a reader who slept with Zemo when they were younger, they were basically each other’s first times. Reader was brought to the mission and when Sam mentions Zemo she only limits herself to saying that she knows him assuming she knows him from civil war. At some point, Zemo mentions it to Sam and since he can’t contain himself he has to ask reader to be sure. Maybe some smut, like ‘I don’t remember you being this good’

Word count: 8.5k

Author’s note: Welp it took me a while but it's finally here! I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am such a sucker for the trope of seeing someone you once dated years after not seeing them again. Like give me all of that. Also I changed a little bit of the request but not much.

Warnings: Gun shots, SMUT (for mature audiences), Fingering, Vaginal sex, Stripping

Masterlist

(Please check out my master list to see what I will be writing next and if requests are open or closed)

Cross-posted to ao3 under the same username

Fingers fumbled with the clasp, the feeling of lips trailing up your thigh, sweet whispers in the air,

‘My princess, my everything’

His kisses on your neck, the desperation in his voice

‘I need you, all of you’

His fingers dug into your hips, his body moving like waves on top of you.

You call out his name to the night, losing yourself in the passion that consumed you.

Your hand tangled in his hair, tugging roughly which elicited a moan from his lips.

His eyes sparkled as he reached his first climax with you, ‘You’ll always be mine’

You woke up still with the taste of his lips upon your mouth. You felt the ghost of him linger on top of you, clinging to that long-ago memory.

But all things fade with time and the cold reality pulled you from the once pleasant dream drenched in sorrow. Sighing you pulled yourself off the made-up bed on the floor, already grabbing a hair tie to pull the bird’s nest of your hair out of your face. You hop over to where your prosthetic leg laid and strapped it onto your thigh.

Grabbing your phone you notice a few miss call from an old friend, calls you must have slept through. Pressing the number you hold it up to your ear as you wander around the apartment preparing for your day.

On the third ring, he picked up.

“Sam?” you ask

“Y/n! I wasn’t sure if I would hear back from you, it’s been a while”

“Yeah, things have been keeping me busy. It’s not like how it was when we were in the army”

You could hear him chuckle down the line, “It’s strange, I would have thought my time in the army would have been the craziest part of my life, but it’s hard to beat all the stories I have of aliens”

“At least you have stories to tell, what do I have? I served for a few years as a new American citizen, almost died a few times till one day I got shot in the leg”

“I don’t know losing your leg is one hell of a story, but speaking of almost losing your life. You remember that time I was able to pull you away from a landmine and you told me, ‘oh Sam thank you so much, I owe you so much’” Sam says down the line in a squeaky voice

“Since when have I ever spoken like that Sam? And why do I have a feeling I’m not going to like where this is going”

“Well that’s because it is time for me to cash in that favour”

That’s how you found yourself arriving at an airport, searching around to find Sam. As you walked around the corner you could make out what seemed to be three figures in the distance. As you got nearer one of them noticed you, and started waving exaggeratingly making you chuckle.

You finally reach him as Sam pulls you into a firm hug. “It’s good to see you again y/n,” he says as you pull away.

“Yes, after all these years of avoiding me” you quip making him laugh

“You know I’d never avoid you! It’s you who has always found an excuse to get out of meeting up with old friends”

“Well I’m here now”

“Speaking of old friends, let me introduce to you this man, 106 years old, dermatologists hate him”

The man Sam referred to now stepped forward, holding out his hand, “Hi, I’m Bucky” he says, smiling slightly as you shake his hand.

“Y/n, you look good for your age”

“He moisturises” Sam buts in making Bucky send him a look, “It’s complicated” he mutters and you nod.

“I met Steve once, I understand,” you tell him, making his eyes light up at the mention of his old friend.

“Super soldier serum, the ability to be almost immortal, another reason as to why we have all gathered here to prevent it”

A shiver ran through your spine as you heard that long ago accent which you had removed from your voice. You focus on the man behind Sam, someone you should have noticed when you first appeared.

It had been over twenty years since you had last seen him yet you could still recognise the way his lips twitched up at the sides but dipped in the middle, the softness of his warm brown eyes, and the slight angular twist his eyebrows had. His hair was more well kept than when you had last seen him. Then he was still going through his rebellious phase, letting his hair grow unkempt but now he had a sense of refinement about him. He knew he was ageing like fine wine and now instead of trying to rebel from the prestigious life he had like when you knew him, he lavished in it, enjoying the money that was of so easy access to him and spent it on all the finer luxuries of life.

“Y/n, this is Zemo. You might remember seeing him on the news, he’s the one who framed Bucky”

You knew him more than that, more than any of them could ever know him. The dream from this morning swarmed your thoughts again, taunting you as if your brain knew what was to come.

Sokovia had been your home country, a place you had longed to forget, leave dead. Zemo, Helmut, was your childhood friend. You couldn’t remember the time when you first met as it felt like he had always been in your life. Everything you two did, you did together. Attending the same schools, going around to each other’s houses, exploring the wildness together. You two were closer than siblings. Your family had nowhere as near the same money as Zemo’s family had, yet that didn’t seem to matter, at least not when you were children. It was no surprise to people when eventually you two started dating. There had been bets on how long it would take for Zemo to gather the courage to ask you out. You and Zemo had been each other’s firsts, first partner, first kiss, first making love, which is where your dream had come from. It was cringy to say it but you felt like you loved him with every inch of your soul, and you knew Zemo was just as dedicated to you.

That’s why the break-up was so messy.

You were the one who called it. You had to. Zemo might have been blind to what it meant to be a Baron at that time but you weren’t. His parents allowed him to have his little indulges, allowed you two to be friends, to date. But at the end of the day, he would always be from the higher class and your family from the lower class. They would of never let you two marry so you had to call off the relationship before you got too deep, to save yourself some pain. You’d hoped that you two could still be friends, though it would have hurt, you still wanted to be around him but that was never meant to be.

At first, he didn’t believe you, he laughed it off as a good joke till he realised you were being serious. Then was the confusion, he wouldn’t let you leave. He needed to know what he did wrong, what could have happened for you to want to break up with him. Then was the obsession. He wouldn’t leave you alone, turning up to your house every day to beg for another chance, following you around trying to pick the relationship back up, threatening any guy that went near you. Then the heartbreak when he finally accepted it was over. He didn’t leave his house for months, you heard rumours he drank himself to sleep most nights, till one time at the dead of the night you found him pounding on your door, shouting to let him in. He was pissed and crying, imploring at you to give him a second chance, begging for you to tell him what he could do to get back with you. He would do anything, give you all his money, abandon his family and run away with you. You helped him back home and told him to leave you alone. And to give it to him he did because then came the anger. You would see him outside and he would pretend he didn’t even know who you were. You’d walk past and accidentally hit shoulders and he shouted at you to watch where you were going. Soon he would be seen with lots of different women, taking them to all the places he took you, dancing at parties. Whenever you looked over to them they were making out and it pained you deeply for what you had to give up. Eventually, you ran away. You couldn’t keep torturing yourself seeing Zemo move on with someone else while you were still suffering on the inside, not just for losing the boy you love but the person who had been your best friend for as long as you could remember.

You left Sokovia to live in America, completely ridding yourself of your whole past identity. There you decided to enlist in the Army which is where you had met Sam, served with him for a few years till you were forced to retire early due to losing your leg. You checked up on Zemo every once in a while, it wasn’t too hard with the Sokovian news constantly obsessing over him. He married the woman he moved onto, the one you always saw making out with him. You suppose he truly must have loved her because it was your birthday when his son was born. While he celebrated the happiest day of his life you spent the day at the bottom of a bottle drinking away the loneliness. You still remember the moment you found out what had happened to Sokovia. You hadn’t been back there in years but it was still your home, where you had all of your fond memories, now all gone.

You didn’t see anything in the news about Zemo after that, he and his family completely vanished so you had to assume the worst. Till you finally saw him on the news. It was hardly like the boy you once knew. The Zemo you knew was kind, empathetic, caring, beautiful in every way he could be yet the man you saw there was a murderer, cold-hearted, reckless. What had happened to the boy you once knew?

You could make guesses, his family was nowhere in sight and you could only imagine how losing the woman you love and your child could hurt you. You hated imagining all the pain Zemo has gone through.

“Yes, I remember seeing him on the news,” you tell Sam. Both you and Zemo stared at each other, your eyes unwavering.

He knew who you were. He knew from the moment you turned around that corner. As he watched you warmly greet Sam and shake hands with Bucky. He watched the person he never thought he would see again stand right in front of him, not even noticing him.

But now you stood there, staring him down. Both of you almost speaking through your eyes. Would the other one bring up the past? Try to acknowledge all that has happened between you or is that dead, left forgotten. Will you two pretend to have never met before, letting years of memories fade.

Zemo was first to speak.

“I see my reputation isn’t too favourable”

“That’s what you get for blowing up the UN,” you say scowling at him as you cross your arms

Zemo opens his mouth to say something but Sam gets here first, “Y/n served in the Army with me so you better be careful with what you say Zemo”

Zemo’s eyes then flicker back to you tilting his head, like he always used to do, in interest.

“Why is he even here?” you ask, finally pulling your eyes away from him to Sam and Bucky

Sam turns to Bucky with a plastered on a fake smile, “Why don’t you explain Bucky”

Bucky sighs as he glances over to you, “As Sam mentioned to you on the call we are trying to track down this group of super-soldiers called the Flag Smashers. We need Zemo here to help us track down where they got the serum and help us so no one else becomes a super-soldier”

“And you trust him?” you scoff, glaring back to Zemo who just smirked at you

“We have no other choice” Bucky mutters, scowling over at Zemo

“I can assure you, I won’t do anything to betray your trust. For once all of our goals are aligned that it would do us no good to go against each other.”

“I’ll hold judgment till later,” you reply bitterly.

Swifty Zemo swings on the heels of his feet, turning around to start walking away, obviously expecting all of you to follow him. Sighing in annoyance you trail after him.

As you had predicted both you and Zemo were pretending to not know each other, perhaps for the sake of the mission or perhaps for the sake of your well beings. You’re not sure if you could cope even acknowledging the past you two had. He’d been the person you had been closest to, someone you shared all your secrets, all your thoughts and feelings with. Someone who you would have taken a bullet for in the blink of an eye and to suddenly lose all of that, it wrecked you. You had finally managed to build yourself up again, to try and move on and then he comes straight back into your life. It’s as if there is some strange omnipotent god up there and it loved to torment every waking moment of your life.

“So all this time you’ve been rich?” Sam asks and you all catch up with Zemo and see him walking towards what you assumed was his private aeroplane.

“I’m a Baron, Sam, my family was royalty till your friends blew up my country”

There was a slight change of tone for when he said ‘my’ not enough for Sam and Bucky to pay attention to it but enough for you to feel the slight twist in your heart as you thought back to the country that used to be yours, long ago.

As you got closer you observed a man standing by the plane, ready to welcome Zemo aboard and you felt your heart stop for a moment. Oeznik. The man had aged since you last saw him, he had fallen to the tolling of time but he still had those warm, caring eyes.

Memories swept over you of your childhood as you observed him. He has always been Zemo’s assistant, hired by Zemo’s parents when they were much younger. You could remember times when you and Zemo would be running down the corridors, not where you were supposed to be and Oeznik would find you two, not telling you off but smiling at you two, saying how Zemo’s parents were looking for him. He would sneak you two Turkish delights even if it was only an hour before dinner. Anywhere you two wanted to go he would drive you there. Whenever you slept over he would prepare your favourite meals, making sure everything was just how you liked in the room you would stay in. He was almost like another father figure to you and Zemo.

And now there he was, greeting Zemo. Zemo kissed him on the cheeks fondly before heading inside. Sam and Bucky both follow up but you take a moment to turn to look at him.

“Oeznik” you whisper

He smiles warmly down at you, placing his hand on the side of your arm. “It’s good to see you again madam”

You nod your head, unable to say anymore without letting your emotions get the better of you so you choose to head inside.

You could feel his eyes on you as you enter. You glance up to him and you know he knows why you took a little longer to get onto the plane. It was that knowing look in his eye, the slight twinkle of amusement but also sadness.

You frown realising you’d have to take a seat opposite Zemo, Sam and Bucky already choosing to sit on the other side, showing their dislike for him. You freeze for just a moment making Zemo gesture to the seat in front of him, smirking as he tilts his head. You huff, not bothering to hide your displeasure, taking the seat in front of him but refusing to even look at him.

A few minutes later Zemo chuckles as Oeznik brings out two drinks, a glass of champagne which he offers to Zemo, and a glass of rum which he offers to you. You’re favourite drink. After all this time he still remembered.

You kindly thanked Oeznik, taking the glass as you avoid the confused eyes of Sam who was wondering why you got a drink and he didn’t and the eyes of Zemo, which held an emotion you couldn’t quite recognise.

“The food is out but I will see if there is some good food in a gallery,” he tells Zemo and starts to turn away but then Zemo speaks.

“If it doesn’t pass the food test, give it to them,” he says, speaking in sokovian and gesturing to Sam and Bucky.

You weren’t prepared for the surge of pain in your heart as you heard Zemo use the language of your people. Though it had been over twenty years since you last heard it, you could still remember it perfectly.

Oeznik laughs, “It’s good to have you back sir,” he says, then nods to you before leaving again. Zemo smiles at Sam and Bucky, enjoying the notion of how they didn’t know what he said, before his eyes swiftly turn back to you, knowing you know exactly what he said.

He takes a swing of his drink before speaking again, “It’s kind of him to remember your go-to drink” he says in Sokovian.

And there it was. The first acknowledgement of the past between you two. Your eyes burn into his head as you realise just what he was doing. It was a test. He spoke in Sokovian for just you to understand, seeing if you were to take the bait and talk back in Sokovian. He wanted to see if you were willing to acknowledge the past between you two as well.

But Sam and Bucky had no idea where you were from. As far as they knew from your accent you were American and you planned to keep that secret. You weren’t going to play in Zemo’s little game, you refused to take your turn. Instead, ignoring what he had said to stare at the ground.

He waits for a few moments before accepting you weren’t going to reply. Sighing he turns to Sam and Bucky.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell” he starts “Oh, that’s right, you do” he then carries on, taunting them. If he can’t mess with you then he’ll mess with them.

“Why don’t you tell us about where you are going” Sam replies, ignoring Zemo’s attempt at taunting.

Zemo then instead turns to the book in his hand, thumbing through it. “Sorry, I was just fascinated by this. I don’t know what to call it but this part seems to be important. Who is Nakajima?” he asks turning to Bucky

Instantly Bucky was out of his seat, his hand around Zemo’s throat pulling him back as he leans in towards his face.

“If you touch that again, I’ll kill you” he whispers

Zemo nods as Bucky lets him go, letting out a slight breath he had been holding in. Bucky glares as Zemo has he takes his seat again.

“I’m sorry. I understand that list of names. People you’ve wronged as the Winter Soldier.”

“But you’re not sorry” you abruptly say, making all eyes turn to you. “Ever since we’ve sat down you’ve been taunting us, trying to stir up trouble. Soon your annoyance will outweigh any use you have for us”

“I’m sorry if I have caused you any offence, Princess, it is never my intention to upset any of you”

But it was. It fucking was. Because he knew just how much pain that nickname brought to your heart. Princess. That’s what he had always referred to you as when you dated. In his eyes, you were a princess, his princess. You clench your jaw, trying to stop the tears that swelled in your eyes. Something Zemo picked up on and himself felt pained seeing your reaction.

“Don’t call her Princess. Her name is y/n” Sam says, glaring at Zemo.

“My apologies, it was my fault to refer to your girl like that”

Instantly both yours and Sam’s eyes widen at his words.

“We’re not, that’s not-” Sam starts to say, fumbling with his words

“We’re just friends” you but in, glaring at Zemo for you knew why he said that.

“Y-yeah” Sam replies, looking between you and Zemo as you stare at each other. Zemo tilts his head slightly, the edge of his lips twitching up.

“I see”

“Now perhaps you could stop taunting us, Zemo, and answer Sam’s original question about where the hell we are going”

If you had blinked you would have missed it but just for a split second, as his last name fell from your lips, you could see him flinch. These days everyone referred to him by his last name, never his first name. And although in the past you had always called him by his first name, you, like them, were using his last name. That hurt more than he thought it would.

“I’m afraid I can’t say just yet, but all will be relieved in due time’

You just groan, rolling your eyes and then choosing to stare out the window trying to forget all about the man that sat in front of you.

Hoping to alleviate the conversation Sam nods to the book Bucky took back from Zemo.

“I’ve seen that book, it’s Steve’s book for when he came out of the ice. I told him about trouble man. He wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What did you think?”

“I like 40’s music so…” Bucky grumpily replies

“You didn’t like it!?” Sam exclaims leaning forward

“I liked it”

“It’s a masterpiece James. Complete. Comprehensive. It captures the African American experience” Zemo buts in, speaking with his hands as he looks over to Bucky

Sams’s eyes face moves from looking at Bucky, to looking at Zemo then back to Bucky.

“He’s out of line, but he’s right. It’s great. Everybody likes Marvin Gaye”

Inside your head, you scoff at Zemo as he talked as if he was sophisticated with music, ‘like you didn’t listen to Nirvana all the time’ you thought. From that point you ignored what they were saying, sipping your drink as you stare out the window. Today had taken a complete turn from what you ever could have imagined it would have turned out to be. And little did you know it was about to get a whole lot messier.

“No fucking way. You can’t make me do that”

“You have to if you want to blend in for the mission” Zemo explains

“She can blend in, in many other ways, she doesn’t have to pretend to be your partner,” Sam says arguing for you

“They will be suspicious of her though and it could risk the whole mission but if she was my partner they wouldn’t be suspicious”

“He’s right y/n” Bucky adds, “I don’t want to be doing this either but if we want to find out where the super-soldier serum has come from we need to”

Zemo nods to Bucky in thanks and then looks to you, the corner of his lip twitching up in amusement that Bucky was backing him up and seeing your anger.

He was deliberately trying to antagonise you. Making you pretend to be his partner for the mission, was his way to get back at you for the pain you caused him when you broke things off. You didn’t think you could cope with having to pretend to be his partner for it, it would just bring up all the pain of what had been lost between you two, what you had to let go of. But they were right. You had to do it for the sake of the mission. If Bucky could pretend to the winter soldier again for the mission the least you could do was this.

“Are you seriously taking his side Bucky, if she doesn’t want to be that then-” Sam starts to argue but you cut him off.

“It’s okay Sam, Bucky’s right I need to do it”

Sam opens his mouth in surprise and then moves over to stand in front of you, placing his hand on your shoulder. “No you don’t y/n, don’t listen to them”

You place your hand over Sam’s hand on your shoulder, rubbing it slightly. “I’ll be okay with it Sam. It’s not like I’d be dating him”

Your eyes flicker to Zemo who had been glaring at Sam now turned his eyes to you, his lips almost twitching into a frown but he stops them.

“I won’t wear that dress though,” you say, your eyes looking down to the short dress Zemo held in his arms.

He opens his mouth to argue against that as well but you stop him, “No Zemo, I won’t be wearing that, that is final”

He bites back his words, smacking his lips together as he nods, “If that is what you wish”

You weren’t ashamed of your prosthetic leg. It was a reminder to you for all you had given to people. But you weren’t about to walk around Madripoor with it being showed off to everyone. And a part of you wasn’t ready for Zemo to see you with it, though you don’t know why.

You hadn’t been to Madripoor before but it didn’t surprise you that Zemo knew the place well. It looked like the shady place you would find him in. As soon as you stepped out of the car Zemo’s arm wrapped around your waist. It fitted like nothing had changed in the time between. Your face instantly turned to him to tell him to let go but he held his finger up to your lips to stop you, “For appearance y/n, you are after all, for this evening, my partner”

Begrudgingly you accept it and don’t try to move his arm away as you walk together. Sam walks up beside you and as you turn to look at him he rolls his eyes. You chuckle at Sam then felt Zemo’s grip on your waist tighten.

As you walk into the bar Zemo takes a seat on the stool. You glance around but all the other seats had been taken. Smirking Zemo pats his lap, “Hop on princess”

You grasp onto his shoulder, pinching it harshly to cause him some pain as you position yourself on his lap, but he just chuckles at your reaction, his hand instantly going to rest on your tigh which was thankfully covered by your trousers.

“Don’t call me princess” you whisper angrily to him

He leans forward, his lips by your ear as you feel his breath, “We have to make it realistic princess, plus I think that would be the sought of a nickname I would give you if we were dating”

He presses a lip to your cheek as he pulls back from you, chuckling as he sees how your cheeks heat up and the glare you grace him with.

“Hello gentlemen and lady,” the barman says finally coming over to you, “I wasn’t expecting the smiling tiger”

“His plans changed, we have a business to do, with Selby,” Zemo says, trying to take over all conversation so no one gave themselves away.

“And she does as well?” he asks, nodding to you

“Anywhere I go she goes with me” Zemo replies, chuckling as he looks at you with a smile on his lips

“Isn’t that right princess?”

You try your best to push back the anger you felt, instead, forcing a smile as you look back at Zemo, “Of course my love” you tell him then leans forward to place a quick peck on his lips.

As your lips lightly brush against his you could hear the slight hitch in his breath and as you lean your head on his chest you wonder if he could feel how fast your heart was beating in your chest.

It’s just for appearances, that’s all you tell yourself but even though it was brief you could still feel the warmth of his lips on yours, that comforting feeling that you hadn’t felt in so long and it was as if all the buried emotions you had come flooding back. Here you were sitting on his lap, kissing him as if nothing had changed and for a moment you wondered if that could be the case. Could you two go back to what time was like before?

But you couldn’t. Not only was it down to the fact that Zemo was a wanted criminal, but he had moved on from you. He fell in love with another, he married her. Any feelings he had for you were long gone and this was just him messing with you, and you didn’t want to let him know the feelings you still had for him after all this time.

The barman seems to accept your display though, choosing to focus on Sam instead as he makes him his ‘usual’ drink.

Zemo orders you and him a drink which you thankfully take from his hand, hoping to drown your feelings away with the alcohol.

A man comes up behind you and instantly Zemo lifted you off your lap, pushing you behind him as he stands up to face the man.

“Got word from on high, you’re not welcomed here,” he tells Zemo,

“Hm” Zemo replies, nodding as he takes the man’s words, “I have no business with the power broker, but if he insists he can either come talk to me...” he finishes, nodding over to Bucky

“Or bring Selby for a chat”

The man leaves as Bucky looks over to Zemo. As Zemo turns around once again his arm wraps around your waist.

“A power broker, really?”

“Every kingdom needs its king. Let’s just pray we stay under his radar”

“Do you know him?” you ask and Zemo looks down at you amused by your question, “Only by reputation”

“In Madripoor he is judge, jury and executioner”

Zemo’s eyes focus now on another man coming towards him. Turning back around to the bar he speaks to Bucky in Russian just as the man places his hand on Zemo’s shoulder. You all turn around to watch as Bucky grabs the man and starts to attack him. You’d seen violence before but it still made you wince knowing how Bucky didn’t want to do this.

After one particular nasty hit without thinking your hand grasps onto his hand, needing something to hold on to. As soon as you realised what you had done you swiftly try to pull your hand back but Zemo holds onto it tight, refusing to let it go. You could feel his gaze turn to you but you choose to ignore his cocky face and instead focus on Bucky.

You stand out of the way as Bucky slams the man onto the table and Zemo leans forward to let Bucky know not to take it too far. That was your ticket though as then you were being shown the way to see Selby.

The meeting itself wasn’t too bad. Zemo held onto your hand as he pulled you over to sit with him. He talked to Selby while you just sat on his lap. Selby didn’t pay any attention to you, which you were thankful for. Things were going smoothly until Sam’s phone ringed.

That’s how you found yourself running along with Bucky, Sam and Zemo avoiding gunfire. As you ran you heard one gunfire and felt your prosthetic leg move slightly as the bullet went straight through it.

Zemo must have seen what happened as well, but not knowing you had a prosthetic leg, he wrapped his arms suddenly around your legs, picking you up bridal style. He ran off to the side, leaving Bucky and Sam behind as he hid you down an alleyway.

“Zemo let go of me!” you hissed, hitting him in the chest as he stopped running. He instead places you on the ground, growling at you not to move as he starts to check all his pockets in his coats. Instead, you do move, getting up off the floor and he looks at you angrily. “I said don’t move! You’ll injure yourself more”

You lean down and jank up slightly the trouser leg, showing the fake metallic leg underneath.

“I’m fine Zemo! It’s fake. Now we need to go and find Sam and Bucky”

But Zemo was frozen, staring down at your leg in shock. Because at that moment was the realisation for him. All this time he had been teasing you, testing the waters of how far he could push you to admit to the past. Messing around with you as if you were two lovesick teenagers again. But you had both changed, and he was refusing to realise that until now. Because he didn’t want to acknowledge the fact you were no longer the woman he once knew. The one person he knew better than himself and he had still half-believed that was the case until now. You had a fake leg, lost in what he assumed was the army which you and Sam had been in. He didn’t know because the truth was you were almost a stranger to him now, and he hated that. He just wanted things to be the way they once were. That’s what he desperately craved but it couldn’t be.

“Okay,” he simply says and nods, finally pulling his gaze away from your leg and up to you. Following your lead, he chases after you to find out where Sam and Bucky had gone.

Sam paced around the main room of Sharon’s house. His mind was occupied with so many thoughts it was hard to concentrate but there was one that stuck out like a splinter in a thumb. What the hell was going on between you and Zemo? He wasn’t stupid he could pick up on something, the looks two you gave each other, the tension in the air, the way you reacted when you first saw him. Sam considered himself your best friend, though you two hadn’t seen each other in ages. So it bugged him how this was obviously something big to you, and he didn’t know what it was.

Zemo sat at the table by the side, quietly drinking some whiskey. Both you and Bucky had decided to retire for the night while Sam decided to stay up just so he could find out the truth.

“You look like you are trying to burn a hole through my head by the way you are staring at me Sam” Zemo says, finally looking up from his glass to Sam who was glaring at him.

“Is something the matter?” he asks

“You and y/n. What’s up with that”

Zemo chuckles, looking back down into his glass, “Ah that”

“I’m her best friend, I know everything about her, apart from this apparently”

Zemo’s eyes snapped back to Sam but this time there was no amusement in them, instead a angry glaze as he frowned, “Best friend?” he repeats, standing up and walking over to Sam. “You hardly know her at all”

Sam scoffs as he raises an eyebrow at Zemo attempting to get into his face. “And you do?”

“Yes” Zemo instantly replies, “I know she was born in Novia Grand, Sokovia. Just like me. I know which schools she attended, the same as mine, I know what her favourite meals are, we had them whenever she came round to my house. I know her favourite band, I took her to their first concert. I know everything little thing about her Sam, and you know nothing”

Sam’s eyes widen at Zemo’s confession, realisation dawning on him. “You were childhood friends”

“More than friends Sam, we were lovers. We were the first people we dated, we were each other first kiss, we were each other first time” Zemo claims as if bragging to Sam

“Yet you didn’t know she was in the Army, you didn’t know she had a prosthetic leg did you?” Sam asks and when he sees the slight fall in Zemo’s face he smiles, “You used to know her Zemo, but obviously, you don’t know the person I know now”

With a pair of tweezers lent to you from Sharon, you pull your trouser leg up and search around in your prosthetic leg attempting to find the bullet lodged inside and pull it out. You could see the bullet but you couldn’t quite get the right angle to pull it out making you groan in annoyance.

You were about to throw the tweezers across the room in anger when you heard a knock against the door. You were currently sitting in one of Sharon’s guest rooms as lot were staying at Sharon’s place for the night to rest up then go and find the scientist tomorrow morning.

“Y/n?” you hear his voice call out from the other side

You sigh rolling your eyes, “What do you want” you snap

“May I come in? We need to talk”

“I don’t want to talk”

You hear the click of the door and Zemo pushes it open to stare at you in a slight annoyance. His eyes then move down to the tweezers in your hand and your leg. He takes a few steps towards you, his hand out as he closes the door.

“Let me”

You hesitate for a moment but finally, give in and hand him the tweezers. He pulls out a seat beside you and gently puts the tweezers through the hole in your leg.

“How did it happen?” he asks as he concentrates on your leg while at the same time trying to create polite conversation.

“Like most injuries out there. One of the soldiers was on the floor, shot a round of bullets into my leg. The doctor there couldn’t save my leg so I had to get it amputated”

He nods, finally grasping the bullet with the tweezers and started to pull it out. “Serving in the army, it’s admirable. Something very like you. I was in the Sokovian armed forces. EKO scorpion”

You nod as you watch him pull the bullet out and place it to the side. “I remember reading about it in the news”

His eyes, flickering to you, glimmer with amusement. “So you kept track of me?”

Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he caught you out. You glance away from his intense stare instead to the table. “Did you really expect that I didn’t? You once were my best friend Zemo. It’s hard to let that go. I saw you got married, had a child. I’m sorry about what happened to them”

It was Zemo’s turn to look away now, feeling the pain in his heart ignite as he thinks back to his previous family. “My son, he was born on your birthday”

“I’m surprised you remember my birthday”

He smiles slightly, finally turning his eyes back to yours, “Of course I do. Every year I’d drink a toast to you. You said that I was your best friend and hard to let go of that. Well, it’s the same both ways y/n. I couldn’t just forget about your existence.”

“I had to leave” you whisper

“I know. I know why you left, and I know why you broke up with me in the first place”

Your eyes flash to his in surprise and widen seeing how they were swarmed with tears. “Because of my family, they never would of let us marry because of your status. Y/n I would have left all of that behind for you, without a second thought”

Shaking your head you reply, “I couldn’t have asked that of you Zemo”

“And that’s one of the reasons why you are so perfect. You always put me before you, now this time I am asking you to finally let yourself choose. If you want me to leave say and I will leave. But if you don’t say I will stay with you, and I won’t let you leave again”

“We’re not who we once were, Helmut” you mutter, finally letting yourself use his first name and with that, he already knew your choice. His hand goes up to cradle the side of your face gently, moving it nearer to him.

“Then let’s discover each other, all over again”

Your eyes fluttered shut as he pushed his lips on you, fitting perfectly against yours as if they were made for you. He poised there, hoping he wasn’t being too forward but his lips smirked as you started to move your lips on him, crashing them on top of his for action, which he kindly gave.

His tongue poked your bottom lip, begging for entrance. One which you allow as you wrap your fingers behind his neck, getting tangled in his hair.

You could hardly believe this is where you were, once again with Zemo, his lips upon yours, desire between your legs. In the last twenty years, you had often dreamt of reuniting with Zemo, experiencing this moment again but you never thought it would happen. But here you were.

His hands travelled down your back, swooping under your butt as you wrapped your leg around his waist. Swiftly he lifts you off the chair and walks you over to the bed, placing you down on it and crawling on top of you.

His lips trail down your cheek, across your jawline and down onto your neck, sucking on that delicate pulse spot. A moan escapes from your lips and he pulls back chuckling. “For so long now I’ve longed to hear you moan for me Princess”

You just groan, your hand pushing his face back into your neck making him laugh but he quickly goes back to making a hickey on it. His fingers trail down to your shirt, slowly lifting it and once again he pulls away to be able to lift the shirt off you.

He holds back for a moment to admire your beauty. His hands move behind your back and swiftly undoes the clasps on your bra, tugging it off. He groans seeing you for all your glory and buries his head in your boobs. ‘Oh how I have missed these’

While his mouth latches onto your breasts, smothering them in kisses as his hands go to undo the buttons on your trousers. He starts to tug them down, with no sense of being gentle but rather a primal urge taking over him. He manages to tug them off you and then his lips move down even further. He trails his tongue from your breasts down your belly, leaving a trail of saliva. As he reaches your underwear, his teeth latch onto it. With a slight groan from his lips, he then pulls them off, sliding them down your legs and flicking them off to the floor along with your other discarded clothes.

He sighs in contentment as he buries his face into the side of your thigh as his fingers trail your prosthetic leg. Leaning forward he places a kiss on it, then trails upwards, littering it in soft kisses. The only softness you’ll be experiencing tonight.

As you feel him get nearer your core you let out a shudder in anticipation, as you shudder you feel his lips suddenly press against your core. He instantly latches into your clit, his tongue dancing on it, twisting it in circular motions. Your hands instantly grasp his hair, holding him close to your core, not letting him go. Not that he ever want to. Sandwiched between your legs is where he belonged.

“If I remember correctly, you always liked this part”

You let out a shocked gasp as suddenly a finger presses against your entrance and then slips inside of you, with ease from how wet you have become. He slides the finger all the way into the end, letting a moan rip out of your throat.

“It seems I do remember correctly”

“Instead of commentating everything why don’t you put that mouth to good use” you groan, pushing his face back into your crotch. His tongue instantly went back to your clit as he started to thrust his finger in and out of you, making sure it brushes against your walls. As you start to let more little moans he thrusts another finger inside, opening slightly to stretch you out.

You could feel the knot in your stomach tightening as he worked his tongue on your clit and his fingers in and out of you at a rapid pace. Then his fingers hit just at that right spot and your walls fluttered around him. You hardly got enough time to choke out a warning before you were gushing all over his fingers. When your climax started to edge away he pulled his face back from your clit, removing his fingers and while holding your eye contact he stuck his tongue out, lapping up your juices on his fingers.

He moans slightly as he licks it up, his eyes fluttering half close, ‘Mine Gott, I forgot just how good you tasted’

“Well let’s see if you are as good with that dick as you were in the past” you tease, pulling his face towards your to encompass in another kiss. As your hands hold his face to yours his fingers feel up the side of your waist, ghosting over your skin creating goosebumps.

You could sense when his fingers started to trail to his trousers though and you pull away from his lips making him whine.

“Strip for me”

He tilts his head smirking as he looks up into your playful eyes. “As you wish my princess,” he says as he climbs off you, standing at the end of the bed. Slowly he tugs off his large coat off, laying it on the side of the bed. Next, he works on his turtleneck, slowly tugging it up to his chest, then over his head. Soon it joins the steady growing pile of discarded clothes. Next, he quickly tugged down his trousers and boxers, his patience starting to wear thin.

As he pulled them down exposing his dick you hummed in approval. “Now isn’t that a sight for sore eyes”

“And you were complaining at me for talking” Zemo murmurs, stepping forward to crawl back onto you but your hold your hand up to stop him. “Put the coat back on”

“I see in our time apart you’ve become more demanding,” he says as he picks up the coat and slides it back onto his naked body. As he finally gets to crawl back on top of you, you grasp the fur collar and pull him closer to your face.

You run your fingers through his hair, making it even messier than it was before. Parts of it fell onto his forehead. His hands move down to hold his dick by your entrance, rubbing it against your folds. For a moment he hesitates, moving his head to rest against your forehead in anticipation.

“You’re still as beautiful as when I last saw you”

With that, he pushes into you, rather quickly because of how desperate he was to feel you around him. As he bottoms out he groans, pushing his face into the crook of the neck as you grasp the back of his head gasping. He stays still for a minute, treasuring the feeling of your walls clasping onto him. Then slowly he pulls mostly out of you, till just his head hung in your, and then thrust back into you.

He started to pick up speed, hearing the increase of your moans against his ear. His grunts and moans start to intertwine with yours as you both chase your pleasure.

“Gott, you are so perfect my princess. You feel so good around me” he’d groan into your ear as his hips thrust repeatedly into your, the sounds echoing on the walls of the room. His fingers sneak down your belly to your core, rubbing against your clit. Instantly your back was arched and your fingers grasped onto the coat.

“God Helmut, I don’t remember you being this good” you moan and with your words he speeds up, pumping inside of you. His head kept brushing up inside that perfect spot inside and with his fingers twisting on your clit you could feel your climax steadily approaching.

“H-Helmut, I’m going to, soon I’m-” you tried to get out between moans but there was no need to as Zemo could feel how close you were for the way your walls clung around him tightly.

“Come for me Princess, let me feel you. I need to feel you again my love, after so long”

And his words were music to your ears as you feel the knot within you snap and your wetness gushing over his dick. Zemo bites down on your neck, trying to be gentle, as he feels your walls grasp you even tiger as he thrusts into you. Not long after he felt his own release coming and as you lay there panting he thrusts in time to his release until he squeezed out every last drop.

He hovers over you for a moment, panting, wanting to remain in your warmth for just a moment longer but eventually he pulls out and collapse beside you.

He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into his side, burying his face in your hair.

“Thank you Helmut” you whisper

“No my princess, thank you for forgiving me for everything I’ve ever done to you. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I don’t deserve your love but I desperately need it. I won’t lose you again my darling”

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