Boys when characters will do anything to cling onto something that is only a hollow and empty imitation of what they really want because its the only thing they have left

we need to talk about how close aziraphale actually was to saying no to the metatron after the kiss and why:

he's extremely conflicted and keeps looking out of the window to crowley in the car.

he previously said "nothing last forever" when crowley told him that he cant leave the bookshop (crowley also meant "you cant leave me"; the bookshop is a metaphor for their lives on earth for him) and he states exactly this as the first objection here. obviously the metatron shuts it down by appointing muriel as the next owner of the shop.

now he's stuck between wanting to be with the being he loves & who he now knows loves him back and his deep inner need/duty to do good. crowley's confession and kiss clearly made him question his decision and change his mind because here is when he actually decides for both.

you can see how he does not want to join heaven alone. he keeps looking out the window when asked if he needs anything to take with him.

he desperately needs crowley there but he can not have him so he lies and says no.

i this moment he tries to say no to heaven one last time. he starts saying "i think i-" and then looks out to crowley one last time. he's really considering crowleys offer here. i think the decision that he makes instead is actually FOR crowley as well.

he decides to join heaven not as he was previously convinced by the metatron to do good and rule together with crowley (which he did not want to do) but instead to go and keep a close eye on heaven FOR crowley.

aziraphale isnt stupid, he remembers what crowley said about heaven being toxic.

i think the confession and kiss makes him question heaven. crowley, who fell for asking questions made aziraphale question heaven too. something that he was always too scared to do. he has started to rebel in his head. he realised that something has to be up with heaven/the metatron bc they offered him the position. he decided to go but with a completely different purpose than before. 

he puts on a smile and it seems fake because it is. he wants to appear like he hasn't just fundamentally changed his position and decided to go against the one force who he was always afraid of yet dependent on. 

this is sth extremely relatable to someone who is queer and autistic and was raised by very conservative family members. even the thought of supporting queer people felt rebellious, terrifying but also extremely exiting and powerful because i knew it was the right thing to believe. 

aziraphale was being so brave here. he saw a glimpse of the life he wants and can have and choose to join heaven anyway to fight for this life. he is convinced it will not be possible for them to be together if heaven is still kicking about and making him feel powerless and scared. he wants to secure their future by changing or possibly even destroying the system from the inside out. 

unfortunately he didn't have time to tell crowley about his change of intention and i think it really breaks his heart. crowley would probably not understand it anyway. they still have a lot to work through and learn but ultimately they will find each other again. they always do.

i am so so interested to see where and how they meet again in s3, if we get it. after everything i just really want them to be happy and to spend their eternity together. they deserve it after all they went through.

Could you do A, C, I, G, K, L, and P for EJ in the fluff alphabet? It would make me reallyyyy happy :3

Fluff Alphabet w/ EJ!!

ive been waiting for someone to do EJ you dont understand!!! i saw this earlier but the power went out when i finally had time to sit down and get to writing </3 my apologies as for other stuff/for everyone else, requests are still open, and the fluff alphabet will be open indefinitely!!

ATTRACTION- Honestly I think you gotta be a real catch to end up as Jacks partner, considering his entire hermit thing... I personally think that he separates himself from society after he becomes Eyeless Jack via a funky cult sacrifice thing... which he was kinda pretty much unwillingly roped into. I think he would want someone who's capable of taking care of themselves, and perhaps someone whos smart. maybe even lower maintenance. its not that he doesnt want to treat you as you deserve, its that sometimes he cant given he sometimes legitimately goes feral (though this is only really due to him pushing off his needs, blood frenzy type deal for when he pushes off eating people, can get real ugly). understanding as well, he needs someone whos willing to be understanding of his position and current predicament and know that eventually jack is going to fully not. be there anymore one day (possible angst idea? ooo?) but also even before the whole, demon thing, jack wasnt the most cheery or social and things definitely havent changed

CUDDLING- hes really cold so thats good for hot nights! not good for cold ones though </3 but hey maybe you guys are somewhere where its perpetually hot. as for the actual act of cuddling, he prefers to be the big spoon. likes sleeping closer to the door, kinda makes a barrier of himself for you in case someone were to come in. which is unlikely since if this were his place, its literally a cabin in the woods in bumfuck nowhere, but the point still stands. only engages if youre asleep or ask for it. if youre the one holding him, he kinda. freezes still and doesnt dare move. poor dude, hes so scared hes going to bite you or something

GIFT GIVING- since he lives in the woods and doesnt have a job he cant exactly go out and give you gifts. he also isnt fond of taking belongings from victims, since he already takes pieces of their bodies. coughs. anyways, i think hes more of an act of service person (will talk more about that in L)

INJURY- youre in luck, he had plans to be a doctor, thats what he was going to college for! plus i think he had a little fixation on medical stuff in general growing up. little hc that his other choice was to be a microbilogist. idk, i can see it. but i dont think it needs to be said that neither became reality. but he does know how to treat some injuries and illnesses! so youre both in luck! but how does he react, emotionally? honestly, as long as youre not bleeding while hes in his frenzied state hes more than willing to help you... although its more so because he doesnt want the scent to trigger anything in him... he cares about you, i promise! its just that ultimately its better he doesnt go feral on you- now if he was the one injured hes already patching himself up... oh but imagine convincing him to let you clean up a wound he got while trying to do his thing.... ouuuugh... let the man be vulnerable, let him be taken care of... ueueue... anyways- yeah

KISSES- he doesnt wear his mask when hes at your place or his cabin- in fact he only really wears it when hes 'hunting' or 'prowling', so!! loves kissing your cheek. will absolutely refuse to kiss you if hes just ate, though, let him wash his face and brush his teeth first. and change his clothes. he likes being kissed anywhere; forehead, mouth, cheeks, hands, ect ect ect. now in terms of frequency i dont think he likes it too often, but that may be some internalized thing about no longer being worthy of love or something but hey who am i to say (loudly winks)

LOVE LANGUAGE- as previously mentioned, acts of service is how jack shows his appreciation and love for you. need something done? hes on it! need to do some chores but dont feel like it? you dont even need to ask! stuff like that, hell, even if something doesnt need to be done he will probably tinker at it and try to make it better if its an appliance or something that can be upgraded to be more efficient and effective. when it comes to receiving he likes words of affirmation, this man has been through hell and hes still going through it, so reassuring him that you still love him even though hes changing makes things a little less scary

PET NAMES- he likes calling you babe and baby. he likes being called hon! doesnt really do petnames, he finds saying someones name intimate enough... which honestly i kinda agree with, i kinda hate how utilized it is in romantic media. just two characters loving each other, sharing a moment, and one softly utters the others name in a sweet tone. GUH!!!! anyway

wwdits s6 speculation doom and gloom incoming. Can’t make a readmore on the app sorry. Don’t read if u don’t care i guess

so idk. what i’m hearing in what harvey said yesterday is that they’re going the whole ”actually this love is too unique and profound to be put into a box” route so i think their ending will be ambiguous and homophobes will be free to read it as platonic or familial or however they wanna view their relationship.

i don’t think what harvey’s getting at is that they will be explicitly romantic but non-sexual. i think he, like most people, is conflating romantic love with sex, and that part of what he means when he says ”they don’t have to have sex” is ”they don’t have to kiss/act romantic with each other”. I think he’s using a very broad definition of ”in love”. I don’t really see anything to be positive about in this atm.

So yeah. I think they’re staying safe and ambiguous. We will probably get a hug. We might get an ”i love you” or another verbal expression of love, that can still be read as platonic love.

And i’m sorry but i don’t want these two to have a Very Special Non-Sexual Relationship. I don’t want them to be Too Pure To Fuck or Kiss Actually. I want them to be totally unambiguous and explicit on screen and i want homophobes to turn the tv off in disgust. I’m really happy for you guys if you would be happy w them being ambiguous, or just hugging and expressing affection for each other (yeah i’ll be freaking out too if that happens). But ultimately i won’t be happy unless they’re explicitly romantically in love with each other

(and to be clear im not gunning for a sex scene like yeah it would be really nice lol to have that or a reference to them having sex but this isnt really about that. I just think that harvey is using sex to also mean Explicit Romance in this case, so i am very negative about him saying they don’t Need to have sex.)

as someone who also has so much homework to do. what are your thoughts on treesekai ren (speaking of treesekai, i actually sent that fic to a friend like a year ago who doesn't watch hermitcraft etc and i remember we had fun reading it and giggling over the anime of it all so tysm for that ♡)

i am no longer doing homework so i can share thoughts. it is almost 3am tho so idk theyll be coherent

first im glad you two enjoyed it! dont know how i feel about the fact it's breached containment but it is good to know it holds up

[speaking of, this fic was posted a year ago, so if you dont know what treesekai is, here is the link for you]

second i think all the time about just how lonely treesekai Ren is. ive made posts like this before but Ren is just... he's so lonely. Ren is a character with a lot of love in him, always. he always wants someone to care about. often many someones! he gravitates towards big loyal teams, and he usually spends his time at home building a place for that team to be protected and safe, and is willing to die to defend that home (and he has. twice.)

dogwarts was a big team whose loyalty he took seriously and whose home he died to defend. the shadow alliance had matching skins and, until they went red, all ren's loyalty, and their base of operations was one of the last bases standing bc Ren continually put it back together for his teammates. Ren and BigB died on the doorstep of of box, with ren's last words being about defending it. home and the people in it are important to him

treesekai Ren is the same, but he doesnt really have anywhere to point it. he has a home, but what matters to Ren about a home is that theres people in it. he loves the country he rules but he thinks if he does that hard enough he'll have someone, and he just doesnt. he assumes he can trust his staff, thinks he'll be able to make alliances with other nations, hopes his fiance will be that person he needs. but he isnt! and Ren cant trust him! or his staff! or other royalty! no one else in the world cares about him! many of the people close to him ultimately want him dead!

so, in the game, he ends up paranoid, and he ends up evil, and he ends up dead

but in the fic he meets Martyn, and he gets that connection and affection and care hes been looking for all this time. and like. it fascinates me how much Martyn doesnt know how much hes changed ren's life. Ren isnt evil for nothing--above all he's lonely and hurt. by saving him from loneliness, Martyn saves his life. he could abandon the game plotline then and there, completely forgoing all the normal isekai tropes of running thru every event w future knowledge and picking the best possible outcome, and Ren would no longer die. just by being there and sincerely caring for Ren, Martyn has already achieved the best of all possible worlds. and he doesnt even know it!

i just. i love how lonely he is and how simple he is. he just wants to be loved. he just wants to love someone. he's a dating sim character, after all, and that's the whole point, isn't it? his world exists just so the people in it can be loved, and he's not allowed to have any of that. if youd just give him a romance, he'd be more than happy to be a love interest instead, but he isnt! he isnt allowed! no wonder he loses it. on some level, maybe he knows hes being denied the fundamental purpose for existence in his universe

this is rambly bc its rlly late but im just. it must hurt more than anything to be the one character in a world about love who is meant to be completely unlovable

Thought of somethinf and I need to share it NOW.

Despite my usual stuff, this isnt sonadow. I mean i guess it could be, like pre-sonadow i guess. Take it how you will.

------

Shadow didn't deign to give Sonic a glance. He kept his gaze glued to the horizon. In this rare moment of peace and silence between them, neither said a word. That was until Sonic decided the silence needed to be broken.

"What's got you all thoughtful?" He asked, turning his head to Shadow.

Shadow graced him with a glance, then looked away. "That is none of your concern."

"Oh come on now, we're friends right?"

"Are we?"

"Well I guess not really, but we know each other enough, don't we? Now tell me what you're thinkin' about." Sonic leaned into Shadows personal space, and Shadow felt his quills involuntarily bristle in discomfort.

"Do we?" He pressed further.

"Ugh.." Yeah Sonic was just lying. "Well.. if you're not gonna tell me then I'll make conversation." Sonic held his chin between his thumb and index finger, tapping his foot as he thought with his left hand on his hip.

"Please don't.." Shadow groaned, rolling his eyes at the incessant tap, tap, tap, tap, tap...

"Hey actually," Sonics head snapped to Shadow. "How did you feel after our first race!?" Sonic pointed at him. Suddenly he grinned. "Y'know, when I beat you for the first time."

Shadow remembered that, how Sonic laughed as Shadow passed the finish line a hair behind him. Shadows wave of despair, desperation and complete fury.

"I wanted to kill you." Shadow stated matter a factly, and Sonic laughed out loud. "I was going to aswell." He clarified, Sonic laughter slowly settled.

"Wait seriously?" He asked incredulously.

"Yes," Shadow sighed, "I had it planned and everything. The method, time, place and how I would get you there and vulnerable. I was so furious that I was beaten." He fondly remembered, a smile almost dusted his face.

"What made you uh.. y'know, not do it?" Sonic asked, clearly alive, breathing and, somewhat, well.

Shadow looked at him finally, a smirk pulling at his face. "I realised that if I killed you, I wouldn't be able to prove that I'm better than you. I wouldn't be able to beat you into the ground, or watch that annoyingly persistent optimism drain from your face as I crushed you with my heel." His eyes wide he made unbreaking eye contact with Sonic. Almost telling he was waiting for the time where he could redo his attempt, without hesitation this time.

Sonic grinned widely. "Well I'll be looking forward to it, Faker." He pressed even farther into Shadow's personal bubble.

"I was made before you, you know." Shadow grumbled.

"Yeah and you're still my fake. How does that feel?" Sonic chuckled.

"Like killing you."

Sonic laughed heartily.

----

Ok now that thats out of my system :3

I can procrastinate studying again :∆

Hope u liked it, sorry if it was bad (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠)

Farewell and safe travels :D

Edit - the end was kinda rushed, i didnt have anything else to say other than a general idea of "Shadow admitting he was going to kill Sonic, but decided against it because how would he prove he's the ultimate lifeform and therefore better than Sonic."

hi these are some thoughts i had about liam a min ago. theyre messy but im thinking abt them so much . blwos up (text version under the cut, tho i also put the text into the alt)

its. initially he doesnt seem OPPOSED to help or anything but he def develops just. not considering himself. he doesnt care what happens to him as long as he can do what he needs to .but i think at the most visceral he still will avoid things that Actively Will Be Painful, tho i think hes more aware of that in heavy hindsight, or when its extremely imminent (gestures at ep 14)

DEFINITIELY… I THINK TO THE SHIT W THE SMOKESTACK SM hes like. is it dangerous? yeah. could i get in legal trouble? yeah. but its what stone wants, im sure of it. and i need to do that. no matter what

bc he obv is scared of death!!! he actively AVOIDS it in ep 14. which ofc is a low bar but its like. it shows his priorities SO well

that saving the others+stopping the others+just. doing whatever stone is asking him, thats giving him … some semblance of a purpose w what he feels like is already a permenantly destroyed life that cant be pieced together, that he has nothing else, thats weighed heavier than his own safety

he DOES object to offing himself in ep 13 though. at least he says as much, but he. doesnt seem to convinced. i think it was on his list of idedas but hes scared of death so idt he wanted to outright do THAT unless hed exhausted his options entirely, and following the notes WAS his 'options'

he cant follow the notes if hes dead, and as far as he knows, dying might screw up his ability to follow them. so its not smth he WANTS and hes scared of it and will avoid it if he can, but his own safety is considered a lower priorty; the same way he didnt wanna kill airy, he didnt wanna kill himself- stopping one from continuing, follow the notes were a higher priority, but if doing that directly requires doing the first two things he doesnt wanna actually do, he would do it. which , the thing w the smokestack isnt suicide, but the lack of concern for his own safety feels cut from the same cloth, really

THE FACT THAT HE CONSIDERS IT IS SO. hes so obv at his last straw its so upsetting. i think he realizes its illogical and thats what properly deters him. if its the wrong call, after all, it could ruin his chances- he needs to make use of his life as much as he can, he doesnt actually know what comes after bc he wasnt there long enough, but he knows its terrifying- but if it had been what he needed to do he would. but it doesnt seem to be

the argument is so very much. bryce fully coming to the realization that liam isnt just unhappy. that this isnt just smth hes just adamant abt, or a surface level problem and solution- he said 'you really are a mess' abt the eggs and i think at that pt all he knows is that liams Obsessed w this, and he knows shit got worse, but that liam is dwelling on it (smth bryce, master of handling his emotions, does not do /silly) - that hes doing this for himself and is just being ridiculous. but the argument i think is when it clicks how deep seated it is. i think after liams final little outburst after bryce says liams doing it for himself, i think the calling of bryce by soda bottle, the phrasing all makes it click that hes not just a guy not handling problems well, and isnt just being stupid, that liam is actively at the end of his rope and has stopped keeping himself safe and couldnt give less of a shit abt it- and its only then that it properly clicks for bryce. which ofc bryce couldnt know this is more an observation of what that convo does, bc what it does is like. make it click for bryce just how deep seated this problem is. he cant say 'dont do that' and walk away, and i think that probably scares bryce, because hes often the one fucking himself over- and this time, its someone else doing that, and its terrifying

he ultimately follows liam out of compassion- he doesnt need the keys. the car is totalled, and im fairly certain itd cost more to repair that thing than to get another car. he doesnt need liam for that. but i dont know if, before liam says his final thing, bryce wouldve fully followed him up the smokestack. bc theres a pause in bryce following liam at the gate, and i think thats the stretch that was because of what liam last said. bc he still cares about liam of course. hes pissed and catches up w him the first time because hes fucking angry and reasonably so, bc this guy STOLE AND CRASHED HIS CAR . and is mad abt it, and wants liam to know that. and he follows him to the gate bc hes WORRIED bc liam is being stupid, but that last stretch is like. thats him deciding that. liam isnt being stupid, hes not thinking and doesnt care and that its not smth liam COULD even do intentionally, bc its not smth that occurs as smth illogical and dangerous (and that being bad) if youre out of it and fucked up and dont know how to handle it. and bryce has his own issues, and hes not an asshole, and following liam up there is just. its him acting bc he knows liams too out of it to not get himself killed, and not only does he not want that on his conscience, he knows liam doesnt deserve to have that happen to him due to being so fucked up by things that he CANNOT think straight. hes not responding well and no matter how much someone could say he should try, like bryce was wanting him to, liam isnt at that pt. there are stages, so to speak, of experiencing trauma, and theres a point where its hard to even conceptualize that you SHOULD respond better to it, even if told, because it makes everything turn on its head and its hard to follow that, no matter how logical of a person you are. and bryce knows this. that liams not not trying to heal, that hes not in a place he CAN

if that makes. any sense. i have a lot of feelings on it

The True dream of Luffy [big spoilers up to the latest manga chapters]

There were many theories about what the Luffy's real dream is. And i know that my idea isnt actually unique, since i've seen other people mention it on reddit before. But I think with time I forget the best case yet for it, based on plot, character of Luffy and thematic significance. So, let's get to it.

There will be spoilers up to the latest chapters.

The dream

In the manga we have not been yet shown what Luffy's dream is (chapter 1060). The only thing that we were shown are reactions of the Straw Hat pirates. Those are:

Zoro, Jimbe and Nami: surprisied and worried

Brook, Franky and Sanji: laughing and amazed

Chopper: just amazed

Robin: misteriously thinking about something, probably drawing some historical parallels in her head

On the next page Jimbe and Nami aren't as worried anymore and we see Franky saying:"You need to be a pirate king to make it possible".

Another possible theory is going to the Moon but while I think Moon is going to be important, the Egghead arc mostly disproves this idea. I think so because if going to the Moon was that important to Luffy he would have asked the world greatest scientist about it.

So what is it actually? The idea needs to be something a child ideolising Roger and Shanks could come up with and also something you NEED to be a pirate king to acomplish.

Luffy wants everyone to be a pirate.

Let me explain why it makes a perfect sense.

Real significance of the pirate king

To get into it, we need to first understand what Luffy thinks the pirate king is, and what we saw pirate king to mean in the story so far.

At the very first page we see the following:

I think this is the ultimate proclamation of what The Pirate king is in the story. And this is what it also likely means to Luffy. Notice that we never actually see Roger rule anything, or enjoy his wealth, or to control anything mush, really. But we see him inspire others to be pirates by declaring that he left everything in that place.

Since we know that Luffy doesn't actually care about Wealth, Fame and Power. He does not want to rule anyone. He wants to be the freest man in the world. But we also see time and again, that while Luffy is seeking freedom for himself, what he also does time and again, is inspire others to fight for their own liberation. He is "a warrior of liberation" but he doesn't actually free people all on his own. He actually helps each and every one of them discover their own self worth and to fight for themselves together with Luffy. He ispires other to also seek freedom. To be pirates(so far mostly metaforically).

Pirate King is the one who inspires others to also be pirates, to also be free.

Thematic sense and Doflamingo

This idea also makes sense thematically. Bear with me here for a moment, but I think there is a good reason why Doflamingo wasn't killed and why we still constantly see him in the manga even though he can't actually do anything physically. The reason here is that Luffy never actually defeated Doflamingo. Sure, he beat Doffy up, but Doffy never changed his ways and he still holds his ideology. Which is: "Justice always wins, because victors decide what justice is". Essentially, Doffy believes that whoever wins the great war will become a new ruler on the Empty Throne and declaring all his previous opponents vile pirates.

The only way to actually defeat Doflamingo once and for all, is to prove to him that nobody is going to ever sit on that throne again, and nobody is ever going to rule over others in a tyrannical manner. How could this be achieved? If nobody rules anyone at all. If its not possible, if every single person is a pirate forging their own path.

The clash of ideas and revolutionaries

Another thematic clash for which we don't yet know a real meaning is the fact that the revolutionary army and pirates are two different things, with both opposing the world government differently.

I think, there is a good reason why we don't know much about the figure of Dragon and what his plans actually are. And we also don't know what Oda is planning to do with this faction. We have to notice that Luffy didn't ever actually directly ally with the Army, besides some parts with Sabo, where it was more about brotherhood for Luffy, than anything related to the revolution. Why so?

I believe that's because Luffy as a pirate king and Dragon as a leader of revolutionaries don't actually have the same ultimate goal. Yes, both of them want to destroy the world government, but what is going to happen afterwards? Here there must exist a difference, something that might potentially even create a conflict between Luffy and his father.

If Luffy wants everyone to be a pirate, to be free and to decide everything by themselves, Dragon might want to create a more fair, just society, as opposed to World Goverment's regime of oppression. This is not good enough. As noted in the previous part, it would just continue a cycle of winners writing history and slowly descending into the oppressive regime.

The only solution is the Pirate's King way. Everyone being a pirate, everyone setting to sea...

The great flood

In the latest chapters we found out that the world is going to sink. Its important to mention that Vegapunk tends to speak like a scientist. He usually speaks in theories and probabilities. There is no doubt in him when he says that the world is going to drown. Many people already said that this is unavoidable, and that this will happen for one reason or another.

Obviously, people are not going to just die and drown because of it, they will need to be saved and they will need to live somehow even without their old homes. It might happen that other islands will appear instead, but i think it makes better sense thematically, for everyone to just move to live on ships or mobile floatins islands like Baratie or Water 7 or even Thriller Bark.

And who lives on ships? Why, pirates of course.

The conclusion

I am not the best theorist out there, and I also never even reread One Piece, so I am not going to break down every single important panel and page here, since i don't really remember where to find them and such. But I hope that i made a compelling point here.

Thank you everyone for reading.

I am sad and in need of my bed

SO MY QUESTION FOR YOU RUMPS IS

How do you think the dr2 characters cope with the big sad, what kind they are (good and bad), and who comes to help em out :)

(if you say hajime for assistance because he’s technically the ultimate therapist you’re gonna get your shoes stolen /lh/nsrs)

Hajime.

BUT not because hes the Ultimate therapist, rather because he is very adept at making people feel comfortable. Meta-wise, this is because he's the protagonist of a character-heavy game that encourages you to form a bond with at least one NPC, and most of the NPCs are jerks. Of course you want some encouragement or rewardl and your reward is the NPC opening up and trusting you, the player character.

But since we're not viewing the characters as NPCs in a game, in-world it comes out as Hajime getting even the most suspicious, awkward and stand-offish people to like him enough to overcome some of their issues, meaning he's just a comfortable dude.

So, besides Hajime;

Akane: ignores the big sad for as long as she can. Might have a little breakdown but still tries to get over it way before she's ready by distracting herself or pretending like a comfort worked 100% ("now that I've cried for half a minute I'm FINE haha see ya"). She would go to Kazuichi for distractions and someone who will probably do the crying for her. Slowly starts being open to Fuyuhiko's offer of talking things out, but only when she's already done being sad.

Sonia: Even if she is big sad in private, she has a hard time being real with it in front of others because she tends to pop into inspiration mode. She might pep talk herself (and others) several times without any real progress because she isnt letting it out. Eventually she'll yell and cry and then actually feel better afterwards. I think besides Hajime shed split pretty easily between Akane and Fuyuhiko, who are both awkward around big emotions but ultimately also very helpful.

Kazuichi: Feels big emotions all the time and sadness is a big part of it. He is very capable of feeling the things- its hiding them that's the problem- so he's used to it, but a linger melancholy cloud that doesnt go away even when he's done sobbing about it is a bigger problem. I think he would go to Sonia if he needed point-blank merciless advice (he is careful though, between not wanting to seem like he's pressuring her and not being able to take rejection when he's already so depressed) or Akane for comfort.

Fuyuhiko: it's kinda complicated because he was actually fairly good at dealing with grief in-game (once he was past the passive suicidal ideation) but that was in the middle of a murder game and. I think he would be the type to push it aside for as long as something bigger needs doing, but he suffers for it when there's nothing else to focus on. He feels better when he thinks he has some control so besides Hajime he goes to Souda, who a) has no room to judge and b) wont dare to snitch or get too mushy.

The ones most likely to intentionally seek out the sad people are probably Fuyuhiko (as with Akane post Nekomaru death) and Souda (again Akane & Nekomaru's death). Probably Sonia too? Just based on vibes (and she got Fuyuhiko a get-well-soon present).

Hajime definitely feels like the type to isolate when he actually feels the sad, but he's more likely to get frustrated or listless than outright sad (he also does not have a crying sprite in the game). I think who he goes to is really dependant on what he wants out of the interaction. With Akane, it's easy to forget anything is wrong, but she'll also be a big strong pillar to lean on. Souda is great with distractions and emotional validation (easily affected by other people's moods). Sonia cheers people up and doesnt let anyone get away with wallowing, and Fuyuhiko is a good conversationalist and has experience with actually handling grief (fun fact, all of Fuyuhiko's FTEs revolve around just talking, mayhaps because he has no hobbies besides crime but who knows) .

How Cole Became Human - Dragon Age

So in the Dragon Age Universe, amongst the countless, countless amounts of Abominations, demons, and spirits that end up on the physical side of the Veil, there are only two known cases where the beings that crossed turned, not into abominations, or a physical form of their fade self, but into actual people, with motivations, dreams, desires, fears, and all that comes with being a human being.

Cole, a spirit of compassion.

And Harren, a desire Demon.

Both of these are very, very interesting for a whole host of reasons, and the question of why these two turned out the way they are, are many.

The fact that this is not limited to either spirits or demons is interesting on it's own, but exactly what it was that made Harren so unique is hard to say when we dont know anything about his past other than the fact he presumably was pulled across the veil by the desires of his current lover Wade withouth needing a body to inhabit, and it all developed from there.

However, we can make some educated guesses from looking at Cole's past, and pinpoint the moment he turned from a spirit into a person.

Now anyone who has played inquisition knows Cole as a troubled, but well meaning cinnamon roll, who deserves the world. Knowing how he is now, it's easy to imagine his past as a serial killer murdering mages who wanted to die as a completely well meaning, but ultimately, terribly misguided soul

The truth however is much, much murkier than the image cole unitentionally presents in inquistion.

Cole during his days thinking he was a ghost in the White Spire and not knowing what he was, was a far, far darker creature than one might assume.

Now the actual, underlying motivation that Cole presents is true, his main reason for killing the mages was him believing that they really did want to die, and that he could help them by doing so... but that is not how Cole in the moment thought of it.

It's just how he in hindsight looks back at all of it, and has analyzed his own actions and the reasons behind them.

In the moment though, Cole didnt know anything. he didnt know why he was doing any of it, not truly. He felt that he was "Real" in those moment, that it was something he had to do in order to not cease existing basically.

He was terrified of ceasing to be, not knowing what he was, but killed the mages because he felt he had to do it, withouth really knowing why. When Cole speaks later of now knowing it was wrong, he isnt just talking about the fact that he stupidly missed that there were other, better ways to help people, but also just how misguided his complete lack of understanding and ability to affect his own impulses were, and the catastrophic results that lack of self control and knowledge led toi.

He was not withouth kindness and more noble trait, but Cole in Asunder, is a far, far more sinister, dark, cowardly and frankly disturbing individual.

even after his character development, the Cole at the end of Asunder, when he is confronted by Lord Seeker Lambert, and forced to confront what he is, seems a far, far cry from the Cole of inquisition, as the mocking of Lambert breaks him, breaks the belief that there was ever actually a cole, that he was anything but a stupid spirit that had convinced himself he was a person.

Which leads us to the moment that Cole actually becomes a person, in the time period between his banishment by Lambert, and the epilogue of Asunder, where he confronts, and kills the unarmored and unarmed Lambert.

The young man leaned close, his expression one of deadly intent.

"There was a Cole," he whispered.

"You forgot him in that cell, and I heard his cries when no one else would. I went to him, and held his hand in the darkness until it was over. When the templars found him, they erased everything to hide their shame . . . and I was helpless to act."

Sorrow, and perhaps even regret, crossed the young man's face, but only for a moment.

"I'm not helpless any longer." The words sent a chill through Lambert's heart.

"What do you want from me?"

The young man smiled coldly.

"I want you to look into my eyes."

Cole's actions here lines up perfectly with the later confrontation with the man who murdered the original Cole, a seething, burning rage, and making the choice to murder that son of a bitch with extreme prejudice.

And yet despite doing something that is completely, totally against everything that compassion is, Cole does not become a Demon.

at all. Despite all traditional knowledge about spirits becoming demons telling us that Cole should have become a demon here, he doesnt, despite his own fears.

And the original plans for his personal quest also adds to this, because there was going to be a choice to let him murder the piece of shit that left Cole in that cell... and he would not become a demon as a result, despite Varric and Solas fears during his quest.

Why?

Because it is his choice to do all of it. Spirits change when their original purpose is twisted by the direct actions and feelings of an outside force, usually a host, or a summoner... but there is no such here, either when Cole murdered Lambert, or in his personal quest.

Now you have the option of having Cole backtrack, become a spirit again by siding with Solas limited understanding of the situation, but im not here to talk about that route.

Im here to talk about the other route, where you reaffirm the path Cole Chose to go down when he killed Lambert for all his many, many sins.

He wanted Lambert to die, and he went through with it, all on his own choice. and by doing so he completely changed his very nature. We dont know how Cole learned about the details of the original cole, but it was the discovery of that path, and the resulting actions he took from that path, where he completely rejected the nature of what he embodied, that Cole became a true person, and changed his nature down to his bones.

That was the key.

With this in mind, it's not hard to see how Harren went down the same road.

Harren's entire dynamic with Wade, is that he is the businessman of the relationship, he is the one that has to reign in the genuis of his boyfriend in order to keep their business running, so Wade doesnt have to go back to "Living on Gruel".

In other words, he had to make a personal choice of his own free will, to act the complete opposite of a desire demon, just like Cole had to.

And the moment he did that, he became an actual person, with all the contradictions that involves... just like Cole did.

i think you misunderstood me. i wasn't trying to say you were misinterpreting the character, just that you approach him somewhat differently than i do, in some significant ways, and maybe not even him per se, just "what comes next", so to speak.

i also wasn't saying that boone shouldn't feel remorse about what hes done, because, like, yeah, he really damn should. and unfortunately the bias against the great khans that permeate the games writing rears its ugly head again--i mean, some of the fan favorites call them dirty people who need to be chased out of the mojave, and while that in itself isnt bad writing (characters can be bigoted and biased), it feels like the player is given very little in terms of retaliating against those statements and the games assumed status quo that the ncr supposedly has more legitimacy in its presence than the khans do. i was more getting at where that remorse would take him, because as you said, his storyline is largely concerned with his own feelings while the game gives you no real way to make him snap the hell out of it, stop justifying the atrocities he was a part of as some inevitability he sadly has to bear, and overall stop making it about himself and open his tiny eyes to whats actually happening and what can be done. like, yeah, he could go from suicidal gestures to groveling, and again to be clear he should feel sorry, but i feel like thats still centering his emotional journey.

as for defending bitter springs, like. yes, the refugee camp at bitter springs is in itself an ugly truth of an image of the ncr, revealing it as a force that tramples over people and commits atrocities and then names itself protectors of whats left. terrible protectors too, seeing how poor and understaffed the refugee camp is. i wish that in itself couldve had some sort of impact on the man as well. still, in terms of material consequences, boone protected the refugees, and while once again that doesnt Repay for anything or Make Up for anything, i dont think it was necessarily the ultimate point of the quest. as you pointed out, it wasnt great khans he protected from the legion, it was refugees from arizona and the handful of ncr staff. theres not any kinda neat bow put on it, there's no coming full circle. being denied a selfish "heroic" death in favor of, like, protecting some people he doesnt know, i think its interesting and could serve as a way to pull him out of this spiral. maybe its wishful thinking on my part, but the difference between novac boone and post-independent boone IS that ncr has completely withdrawn from the area and boone took part in the actions that lead to that. but i could just be wishing things had been written differently. oh! and you brought up giving him up to the great khans to judge, its something ive thought about before, and i wish it was something you could do in the game.

anyway... im sorry if i came off as confrontational in my first anon, i saw that you were answering asks about it and i wanted to offer my own perspective. none of it was said to undermine yours.

well first of all I'd like to say I'm sorry for being hostile, it's difficult for me to interpret tone at the best of times and even worse over text so I appreciate you telling me that didnt mean to sound confrontational and i'm sorry for taking it that way

i think its just frustrating to me that like. idk the Joshua Graham dickriding has died down a bit recently because people have finally figured out that despite the game framing him as the good guy hes actually still a terrible person and the writers were wrong for what they did (the racism most of all) but then people still lick Boones/the NCR's boots

but your perspective is refreshing i think youre right yeah, Boone shouldn't really be the centre of the "victims of the bitter springs massacre" because. he's not a victim. he is a perpetrator. on that you have made me realise that yeah even if hes begging for forgiveness even then its still bad for it to centre him at all

And the Khans being one of the power houses of Vegas pre-NCR is woefully underexplored but tbh given how the rest of the Khans are handled I don't even think its a time constrains thing its just a writers thing. i've complained enough about how the Followers treat the Khans in game not really lining up with how they used to work together / can work together in the future but that's a whole other thing

i still think the fight for bitter springs is still the climax of the I Forgot to Remember to Forget questline, its supposed to be what snaps boone out of it and lets the player come to some kind of resolution with him. They're not exactly good or helpful resolutions, because as I have said before he still doesn't respect the Khans and as you have also said this is a problem with the game as a whole. and he's still protecting people he doesnt know for ultimately selfish reasons. It's a step. I guess. and yknow its a video game with only two conclusions for a quest, the rest of those steps are kind of up to interpretation.

its the beauty of fanworks and what have you. like I said my perspective is more one of frustration. Me liking the Khans so much and examining the game from their POV when the game kinda hates them and that feeds into the fanart/writing and looking at Boone is just. I'm just tired

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR OCS 😤

ok i have like a ton of ocs but i will talk about my main ones guy 1 (i do not have a name for him. fuckin james or some shit??? idk) is the one ive had for the longest. hes like this 30 something year old guy? and basically what happens is he has this wife that he loves like So so much and then one night at dinner she asks for a divorce. and he is so confused by this because he thought that everything was okay. she reveals that she had been cheating for a couple of months and used HIS money to buy a new apartment for herself. he obviously kicks her out and over the course of like idk man a month or some shit he spirals down and down and down and ends up becoming a murderer. he slowly progresses thru his murderous tendencies, wanting to be able to perfect them before he goes for his ultimate goal, his ex wife. guy 2! also dont have a name for him! i dont know why! his story is loosely based around the concept of the backrooms. i got inspired by the endless office space and decided to create an oc. his story is like way too complex to explain and mostly resides in my Brain Catacombs but basically what happens is that people find out about the back rooms, being able to go in and out whenever they please. the government is of course curious about this, but there are still a ton of things they dont know about it. so they choose to do human experiments! woohoo! the main character, at the age of 13, looses his parents. he is a completely normal guy, and life really isnt looking up for him. so he gets chosen to be a lab rat basically. they dont tell him like, anything at all about the true nature of the backrooms. so he just gets put in there. and observed for years. they find out that the backrooms have a sort of amnesia inducing quality that gets rid of most of the persons memories of before it. but the main story happens when hes like 20 years old still in the backrooms and theres another person there with him. i really need to share my writing from this guy because i have a ton of stuff about him and his story is super hard to explain without them the last 2 kind of come in a package. izolda is a bisexual polish girl and lestari is a sapphic indonesian. theyre both cluster b coded and they end up going into this incredibly toxic codependent relationship with eachother where lestari feeds izoldas insecurities and bad qualities, trying to shape izolda into the "perfect parter" for her. i havent fleshed out their stories that much yet because theyre my newest ocs but i think whats gonna happen is lestari is going to finally push izolda into killing someone for her. i really need to think about their stories more tho

sooo

-jay and little destiny left behind bonnie and jays siblings right after their father possibly died

-golbetty couldve eaten simon and he wouldve thanked her and had his wish to be with her forever granted but nope he gets to be PATHOLOGIZED! dont worry simon, your problem has a NAME and its CODEPENDENCY. phew, sure am glad that thorny, complicated topic gets wrapped up nice and neat! be sure to pick up a copy of "the body keeps the score" on the way out, simon. (no shame against that book but the things people assume after reading it are wild and labelling a relationship that has some small flaws as toxically codependent to the point of breakup is one of them)

-fionna gets to get told WHATS WHAT about how STUPID she is for wishing magic was real. just picket and play roller derby like a normal girl, its not like the world needs to REALLY change... changing it might risk what you have! and you APPRECIATE what you have, right fionna? need to watch your friends die some more so that you accept wage slavery america as the pinnacle of existence? you should be sorry for thinking it was so boring, thats not very self care of you fionna

-oh but cake gets to stay. because uhhh. idk. it would be fucked up to have a detransition narrative, i guess? and shes not a 20-something who needs to grow up. i guess we cant accidentally teach our audience to become stretchy cats, so its fine, its not teaching them anything bad! but fionna being magical, now THAT would send the wrong message

- every other couple gets to have romantic/imperfect/codependent moments-- gary sacrifices his WHOLE DREAM for marshall. but the writers know its not very 2023 of them to make the gays more problematic than just. having some psychosexual violence thrown in there for spice. but simon and betty? sorry you werent perfect and she dont want you no more

-any romance that ends with "i am willingly breaking it off with you even though we could be together" needs to work HARD for that to satisfy. golbetty couldve eaten simon and he wouldve thanked her. blowing him off into the world IS DISREGARDING HIS WISHES! it just feels like they imposed Recovery Aesthetic onto simon and fionna and were like see :) Happee Ending! dont look at all the loose threads, simon went to THERAPY! zoomers love when old men go to therapy, right?? simon and betty's issues werent wrestled hard, long, and to the ground enough on-screen to sell that she doesnt want him anymore and that that truly is the best ending she can bring with her ultimate power, it reads that golbetty truly did override betty's self and changed her into an unrecognizeable figure. its so stupid that adding a little bit of pathologizing therapy talk can make people say this was good.

and codependency IS pathologizing. how much dependency is healthy, at what point does it tip into being too toxic to save? that depends on which therapist youre talking to. humans are wired for connection, no amount of CBT and DBT will make you not mourn losing a connection, and the pain of that loss shouldnt be used as evidence that you should just be less attached. simon isnt a mind reader, and betty made her choices. you can call it a "fawn response" but that still implies that you think she was unfit for autonomy. if she really doesnt regret those choices, why doesnt she want to be with simon? that question is not answered well enough to leave it not feeling like a swerve for audience members who arent projecting their own codependent experiences onto betty. the text alone doesnt support it enough for that to ring true, not when they only actually delved into the topic for about 5-10 onscreen minutes. Not to mention the fact that the ending ends with a fucking montage where it looks like simon just turned happy and is living his dream of cheers sitcom life. is that really better than becoming one with your beloved crazy wife forever? is that actually more realistic, in the visceral emotional language that stories speak? is it a more satisfying ending, getting 80% there and then saying "actually this dramatic cool story has some Problematic Elements, I'm going home"?

i wish they gave her more lines. they couldve given her more lines, made simon talking at the audience into a real conversation, and they didnt. there were so many things they couldve done and it ended up at something just as toxic as whatever codependency they were railing against, the idea that the relationship we were shown was too toxic and flawed and that betty was clearly fawning for simon and not capable of making her own decisions while simon shouldve stepped up and fixed that for her. they want to play it like "we must go our separate ways" but there's no must. this is still a choice betty is making, to break up with simon for good, and that choice was always gonna be a hard sell but not even letting betty have more than a few lines about it? how do you expect to sell such a big emotional shift? therapy speak, apparently.

and they seriously played the "simon goes back to his life" card WITHOUT a marcy scene??? lazy heroes journey shit.

Wouldnt it be really cute and funny if the ABC brothers got all these contestants trying to catch their attention except for these 3 ladies who looked like they:d rather get hit by a canon ball than have anything to do with them. And yeah maybe at first the ABC borthers don't take notice as much but little things keep happening that draw them closer to KSP.

Like Anthony, who's the most sought out being the heir, has had his ass kissed since the Selection has begun can't help but feel utterly vexed vexed (and maybe totally slightly turned on) by Kate who calls him out on his pompous bullshit and its refreshing and annoying because isnt she meant to want to win him over???? Kate will also take great joy in taunting Anthony in any way she can just for the lolz (I mean if she's forced to enter this marriage competition, she might as well get some fun out of it right?)

Then we have Ben who met Sophie in an art room or something and the two reluctantly bond over their ahared passion for art and what not or maybe he got sick but refused to let anyone know except Sophie saw right through him and kind hearted that she was, took care of him maybe discreetly like through a disguise because she didnt want Ben to think she was using his sickness to make a move on him.

And maybe one day while Pen was hiding in the library, she saw a journal that she was fascinated by only for Colin to barge in like a raging bull and Pen is having none of it and despite her small size, she was halfway ready to jump on his neck. After a few more talk (and apologizing) the two share their love of writing and Pen gives Colin some constructive feedback and praise (you can not tell me Colin does not have a praise kink) and slowly get to know each other.

King Edmund and Queen Violet seeing this and giving each other side eyes and matching grins because they know what's about to go down lol

Yeah, it's interesting because the way it would probably go is that, at least benophie and polin would more than likely start as friends, and you know that's actually nice to have during the Selection. Kathony vexes each other on purpose, but it's fun and a game to them.

They're pleasant to each other during the interviews, kinda have to be with the whole nation watching, but during their free time KSP are making friends with the other girls and networking.

Then when it comes time for the first round of eliminations a lot of people expect KSP to be among them, including themselves, but they're not? When they latter ask ABC, because ultimately the final say to the eliminations is up to them, the princes say there was no need to send them home yet.

And uh oh, someone caught feelings. ABC start searching out for KSP on their own and when the cameras wouldn't be on. Doesn't help the princess that the girls see through their bullshit.

Kate seems to have a sixth sense for when Anthony is overworking himself. She always seems to find him and drag him off to bed or sits down and starts helping him in areas she knows about, like numbers and the paychecks for the staff. They don't taunt one another and the silence is comfortable. Almost warm.

Benedict got sick after getting caught in the rain one day. He practically threw everyone out of his room. Sophie used to difficult brats thanks to one of her stepsisters marched right in there with a bowl of soup and shoved it down Benedict's throat. He quickly learned the nicer he was the nicer she became.

Penelope accidentally read one of Colin's journals, and he started to freeze her out with his charming mask. Penelope saw right through that she and her family are performers, remember? She snaps right back at him and actually gets him to explode his temper. He's surprised he's relaxed enough around her to let down the mask. They argue for a minute and then, with a few apologies, discuss their shared love of writing. His travel journals and her stories that go along with the dances she preforms.

DEF decided that KSP are their favorites and want them to be their new sisters. So they shove their fiances towards them, telling them to go make new friends. The plan is to hopefully get some jealousy stirred up in ABC so they can get this Selection moving faster.

Kate and Simon click instantly. Simon wins her over because he can give her ammo with embarrassing stories about Anthony from their time in boarding school. Michael and Sophie hit it off. He gives her self-defense lessons, which she is extremely grateful for. Botanist Phillip and wallflower Penelope are immediately lightening up as they talk about their passions. He helps her keep accurate information about plants when she's writing her hobby stories.

man. thinking about how the survivors all desperately need new hobbies

like. okay. sonia’s a great example. off the top of your head what are her hobbies? probably learning about and researching true crime and the occult, and watching j-dramas/anime, right? but if you really think about it, her fascination with japanese culture very much feels like her just desperately wanting to fit in and massively overcompensating. so while i do think she probably enjoys those shows, theyre definitely not as popular in her kingdom as she claims (not that im saying she’s lying on purpose, just that. well, when you feel embarrassed about someones reaction to you liking something, sometimes you’ll try to make an excuse for why you do yknow), and plus, its not like they have access to a lot of entertainment media for a while post program. as for the occult/true crime stuff…

look me in the eye and tell me junko did not use that against her. do you really think junko enoshima would not see a girl obsessed with the study of serial killers and not try and warp that into a fascination with her?

i think that stuff leaves a bad taste in her mouth now. and after committing and being complicit in the committing of the kind of crimes she used to be fascinated by, its kind of hard to find the joy in that anymore, yknow? the occult stuff could maybe still be enjoyable, but with how often it feels like there are ghosts lurking around every fucking corner and her dreams are filled with screaming corpses its kinda hard to be fanciful about that stuff.

so. girl needs some new hobbies.

its not much better for the others, either. akanes hobbies were basically working out, doing parkour, eating, and sleeping. the first two are downright impossible for the first several months after waking up, and for the foreseeable future any kind of physical activity is going to be, to an extent, difficult just due to how much chronic pain and weakness she’ll probably suffer the rest of her life. she can get to a healthier weight and a stronger muscular build, but its not going to change the fact that she gets out of breath and sore much faster than before. as for eating… well. thats gonna be a sore subject for a while. so all she has left is sleeping, and sleeping all day is, as ive been told by many people, kind of a depression symptom? and theres no way the others would sit back and let her do that.

girl needs some new hobbies!

kazuichi, from what we can tell, had a few more normal hobbies. in game you can find him gaming with chiaki, and he seems to enjoy coming up with schemes and plans for silly stuff, but overall he just loves his tinkering. he may be the ultimate mechanic but first and foremost he just loves fucking with machines and engines and finding out what makes them tick. but even that isnt gonna work anymore. sure, he could game. if they had any fucking consoles. or a working computer network. or any games. but none of that is happening for a while, if ever. as for his tinkering, it’s gotta be a similarly sore subject to sonia’s training and tutoring as a princess. its too closely linked to what he did as a despair, too closely linked to his talent, to not make him feel like screaming when he smells machine polish. i think he definitely could get back to a point where it genuinely brings him joy again, and before that he definitely forces himself to use his talent and knowledge because they need it, but. its a complicated problem.

the guy needs some new fucking hobbies.

and of course… fuyuhiko.

fuyuhiko… doesnt have any hobbies.

like okay can you think of a single thing from the game (or fuck even the anime) that implies that he has anything he actually does For Fun. he has a sweet tooth. hes dedicated to his clan. he went to the zoo with peko one time. he got in fights at school. thats… those arent hobbies. fuyuhiko doesnt have any hobbies!!! someone get this boy some fucking knitting needles or a book to read!!!! please!!!!!!!!!! i think it would genuinely help him a lot to have something to do instead of just sitting and stewing in his own trash fire of a brain speaking from experience. learn to sew, read some fantasy novels, learn to play the guitar, something. im begging you.

and hajime is his own fucking can of worms.

he probably had hobbies before the Horrors. right? he probably played some video games, maybe liked martial arts films, maybe sketched in the margins of his notebooks. rode his bike sometimes. but now? nothing keeps his interest that long. everything becomes monotonous after a while, and sure, sometimes thats the draw. with stuff like fiber crafts the point is sometimes making it muscle memory so you have something to do with your hands. but other times its not. and his ability to basically excel in most things you put in front of him has to be so fucking boring after a while. a lot of the point of having hobbies is that you arent perfect. the draw is learning, is getting better. even reading can become nothing when any nonfiction book has knowledge in it you already know and any fiction book you can intuit the ending from the first few pages. he probably reads Lightning Fast now too, so it cant hold his interest for long.

he probably has to constantly be switching hobbies and outlets. cant stay on one thing too long, or the ennui starts to set in. that sounds miserable.

someone get these kids some hobbies, man

i have a question i would like to ask you...because you;re the only astarion opinion-haver i trust these days

if you've already answered this or somethin similar apologies!

but i was gonna ask what you think astarion needs (not what he necessarily wants but you can include that too if you want :]) in a relationship

means a lot to me that you think that!!! im not really resident white boy expert imo

but if you are asking me i do think astarion needs someone who can care for him and give him a lot of attention but also someone who can give him direction and purpose

it is important for me to mention that i have no investment in astarion as a character like romantically. i like him and i enjoy writing him a lot but i have no biases towards his character that would make me think this way which is Important because i, from the bottom of my heart, believe astarion needs someone who can give him like... emotional enrichment and 'dominance' in some sense of the word.

submission is really subversive for astarion for this reason to me. but really at the core of it - submission that gives him purpose and reason. astarion is a very nuanced character. he needs agency, but he also needs unconditional love more than every other companion which is confirmed by other companions through dialogue.

to me - astarion needs someone who can not only spoil but also wrangle him. not necessarily domineering in the way people imagine. but someone who is comfortable setting and enforcing boundaries of behavior for him and taking care of him. someone who can allow him to explore himself in a controlled and healthy way while also giving him guidance from time to time without being condescending.

and this isn't because i think astarion is broken and can't make choices for himself but because i think he is owed not having to think. not having to figure out every single thing for survival etc.

this isnt to say the only relationship for astarion is a d/s one (but i should emphasize i really firmly believe this is a good thing for him) but that he needs someone with a lot of emotional maturity and a lot of self assurance to be firm with him sometimes and spoil him at others. the feral cat comparison is earned because he really does have like. rescue who needs scheduled feeding and plenty of pets vibe. don't let him step on your toes etc

anyway my point is mostly that i think astarion is most well suited for someone who can, in some capacity, look after him without expecting anything in return. i dont mean dominance in an innately sexual way but the underlying intimacy of letting yourself be completely and entirely accounted for.

i think even if his partner nature takes on a more submissive demeanor or passive role - it still ultimately ends with him listening to them and getting pampered by their affections. i also think this alligns with his wants he's just not very honest about it