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#but this one really feels like it's taking the piss imo lol...

padfootswhiskers · 2 months

Note

Hi hello tell me more about one-sided Lupin/Lily (and also if Sirius realizes it lol)

hiii imp.

i was thinking recently that fanon always has lupin and lily being besties and that's a trope that's permeated a lot of good canon-based fic too and i was wondering why---the biggest reason obviously is the poa movie and that weird made up monologue david thewlis delivers about recognising harry by his eyes (which is sooo ?!?!?!) but most of the fandom knows that's a movie only thing. so then i was like alright, theyre both kind people, lily defends his "secret" to snape before she even really knows him, she likes all of james' other friends etc etc--it doesn't not make sense--

except lupin is really...oddly silent on lily in the books. not that we get sirius professing his love for her or anything but we get the letter in DH, at least. lily clearly loves him. he's in the wedding photos and lily obviously agreed to name him godfather. he reassures harry that lily loved james in ootp. the letter from lily also has her calling peter 'wormy' and being concerned about his emotional state.

nowhere in the 7 books do we actually get a hint of lily&lupin friendship. in poa, harry tells lupin he heard his dead parents when the dementors attacked and lupin simply goes 'you heard JAMES?'

which makes me think...they just weren't that close, lol. so i did some digging and it turns out jkr once implied that lupin sort of had feelings for lily, which would serve as a great hc for why he mightve been distant and generally awkward around her. because no way is he going to contest james on this particular matter---1. he LOVES james and 2. this is remus lupin we're talking about.

so the end result is...he just never got that close to her.

james would never notice this, imo. SIRIUS realising it? more likely .i feel like he would, and he'd probably be the type of guy to take the piss out of lupin for it, lmao. and maybe, like @casquecest said, it would build up the case in his mind for why lupin might be the spy later in their lives (some latent resentment towards james; this is ofc not true, lupin resents sirius xD)

SORRY FOR THIS NOVEL

#loser man crushes on popular girl. marauders dead. harry orphaned #impishtubist #remus lupin #lily evans #answered

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 10 months

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AITA for dumping a friend for making me lose me job?

Tl;dr at end

My friends and I were the type to hang out and do drugs in college. I typically only did weed and not as often as everyone else, but I found it fun. However, I'm out of college now and I have a job where I get drug tested, so I don't partake when we hang out anymore. I've never really explained why I stopped doing drugs with them, but I just don't and I thought they respected that because it was never an issue before.

However, last time we hung out, one of my friends brought weed brownies to our hang out, and didn't tell anyone. After I had one they told me basically "lol now we can have fun because you've kind of been a stick in the mud recently." I was horrified and pissed. Not only did they drug me without my consent, the weed brownies were a LOT more potent that I'd ever enjoyed (probably 30 mg per brownie when I start feeling bad around 10mg) so I kicked everyone out of my apartment and ended up calling my sister to come over and sit with me while I came down.

And to top off a terrible weekend, I got drug tested on Monday and then fired when it came back.

Now this is the part I'm a little unsure about. Sitting in the parking lot of my ex-job, I sent a text to the group chat for my friend group and told than I'd been fired because of the one friend who drugged me's actions, and the two of us were no longer friends. I realize I should probably have told them privately and they didn't even know my job drug tested me so they didn't know the full consequences of their actions, but what they did was completely unacceptable regardless imo. I especially feel bad because I know they're going to take it really hard because we've been good friends for a long time and nothing like this has ever happened before between us.

Tl;dr: Friend gave me weed brownies without telling me, not knowing my job drug tested me, which made me lose my job, so I ended our friendship

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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alphabetboyluvr · 9 months

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A time before DB and JK meet officially where they crossed paths but don't remember or almost but missed each other by seconds. You know, typical kdrama missed meet cutes lol.

🪩 WORDCOUNT | 2.4k 🪩 NOTE FROM HOLLY | so... that thing about me and finding it impossible to write anything short.... yeah that. lmao. this is bd lore in the BEST possible way imo. something that neither of them remember and likely never will. this is set about four years before the events of BD. JK would have been 20-21, and B would have been 21-22 (give or take a year). thank you SO much for this request. i had so much fun with it!!

🪩 BD DRABBLES MASTERPOST 🪩

Jeon Jungkook looks devastatingly pretty with cherry-red lips. Smudged and a little faded, they leave the faintest mark on the end of his cigarette—a bad habit, he knows, but one that he picked up as an excuse to flirt with a girl whose lips are far more crimson than his.

Of course they are, though. How else would she stain him in evidence of her existence if they weren’t?

Even when he’s tarnished in her, there’s no evidence of him on her. Nothing to tell new acquaintances to stay away—and Hayun loves making new friends.

A bottle of Jack rests by his feet. Neat. A little lukewarm. Ass perched on the curb outside a house just off campus, he’s in no mood to get himself embroiled in the debauchery he knows his friends are partaking in. Just wants to clear his head.

Foolishly hopes she’ll do the same. That she’ll notice his absence. That her heart will ache like his currently is.

In their final year of studies, his friends are all letting loose for the final time before they have to cram for finals. It’s a night of celebration. Of last-chances. Of opportunities that won't present themselves again for a good few lunar orbits.

And so while he may not have the same restrictions, having started his studies a little later than scheduled, he’s been making the most of it with them.

Quiet kisses hidden from his friends are fun. He likes them. Loves them, even.

But to then watch her very publicly let a guy make moves on her? To make moves back?

Feels fuckin’ awful.

“Oh, you know what?” A voice echoes from the porch of the house behind him. “You can take her violin and shove it up your ass, you ostentatious, pseudo-intellectual prick.”

It’s a little twisted, but it brings Jungkook comfort to know he isn’t the only one with a shitty excuse for a love life. Knows he shouldn’t listen in—but fuck it.

“Where does she keep her violin, huh? In your trousers? ‘Cause that’s the only way that what I just saw and what you’re saying could even possibly correlate,” the girl continues, unrelenting in the way she dictates her speech. Barely lets her partner get a word in edge-ways. “No? She not a tiny violin specialist? The rooms aren’t that dark, dickhead.”

He thinks the tirade is over, but finds himself laughing when he hears, “And not to brag, but my last eye exam went exceptionally well, so don’t you dare try and tell me I was seeing shit. Twenty-twenty vision, baby.”

It’s easy to tell whoever is speaking is deliberating adding a little dramatic flare to their words. Is definitely drunk. Is also definitely not afraid of standing her ground.

Glancing over his shoulder as he stubs out his cigarette, he’s surprised to see the girl—you—on the phone instead of confronting someone in person.

In a pretty little party dress, you’re just the right combination of hot mess. Even from a fair distance away, he can notice the glitter all over your skin. Not really his type—so different from Hayun—but there’s something about you. Something that intrigues him. Makes it hard to look away.

“She could be fuckin’ Vivaldi for all I care!” You seethe into your phone. “Does it sound like I give a shit if she’s the best in her class? You want me to give her a gold medal or something? Don’t piss me off. Prick.”

Jungkook would argue that you’re already pissed off. With a tone of voice like that, you must be.

There’s a final curse, and then your phone is almost thrown across the front lawn. Almost. You know better. Know that you can’t afford to replace the screen if you shatter it. Instead, you have to grit your teeth and scream.

It’s only once you finish your venting of frustration that you notice a pair of starry eyes on you.

Raising your brows, you shake your head in his direction. “Can I help?”

And then he fucking laughs. Shrugs. Is pleased to see it makes you smile, too.

“Really hate violin, don’t you?”

Shaking your head, far kinder this time, you sigh. “Don’t have much of an opinion on them. Not unless it’s the strings in the intro of Untouched by The Veronicas. In that case, the violin is the greatest instrument known to man.”

“Untouched? The Veronicas?” he laughs, suddenly reminded of a song he hasn’t heard in years. “Didn’t realise it was still 2005.”

“Hey, don’t be judgy,” you say as you walk towards him, perching down on the curbside, too. “It’s a classic.”

“Never said it wasn’t,” he defends, reaching down for his bottle of Jack and offering it over to you. “Boyfriend trouble?”

Shaking your head, you decide that unloading your problems onto a stranger is exactly what this night calls for.

“Girl I’ve been seeing. Wasn’t that serious.” Nodding towards the bottle you add, “You first.”

“Seemed pretty serious,” he mumbles, before swigging down his whiskey. Jack is shit, in his opinion, but it’s cheap and it gets the job done. Clearing his throat with a small ‘ah’, he holds it back over for you to take. “Satisfied?”

You don’t vocalise a response—but you do take the bottle from him and ignore the burn as it races down your throat. Of everything you’d choose to drink, Jack Daniels would not be it. You like fruity things. Had been on vodka cranberry juice all night.

“Wasn’t serious," you double down, then shrug. "Can’t let people think they can get away with bad behaviour, though. Let them do it once, and they’ll do it again and again."

It’s something you’re adamant about. Something you’ll do well to remember.

“Anyway, you know why I’m out here like a miserable bitch,” you continue as you pass the bottle back. “What brings you here?”

“Something similar.”

It’s only now that you really take him in for all that he is.

Same age as you, you think, judging by his build. Though his shoulders are broad, he hasn’t properly filled out yet—he’s trying, though. You can see the definition in his arms. His shoulders. Clearly is trying to shape himself into a man. No longer a teenager, but not really an adult. With eyes like that, though, he’ll always look a little younger than he is. His dark hair waves around his features, so casually undone you know he must have put a lot of effort into it. It’s sweet.

He tries, and that’s more than can be said for most of the boys at the party.

“It doesn’t suit you,” you tell him.

“Hm?”

“The red lipstick,” you nod towards the sheen on his lips. There’s a little on his neck, too. His T-shirt is black, but you imagine there’s some there, as well. “You’d look better without it.”

“It’s not mine.”

“Guessed as much,” you softly smile. “So what, then? Your girlie pissed all over her territory? So no one else would approach you? Then decided she wanted to play elsewhere?”

“Something like that.”

“Girlfriend?”

Jungkook just shrugs. Tells the truth, even if it feels like a lie. “Just friends.”

“You kiss all your friends?”

“Just one.”

“Ouch,” you wince. Friends-with-benefits situations are dumb, you think. Wouldn’t ever wanna end up in one. Know they end in unbearable heartbreak. “That’s rough.”

He nods. Knows how it’ll end, too, even if he’s been trying to tell himself otherwise.

“Well, we’re friends, now,” you declare, definitely too drunk to be making good decisions. “You and me. Have bonded over terrible people doing terrible things.”

He wants to tell you that Hayun isn’t terrible.

Instead, he raises a brow at your fledgling—and fleeting—friendship.

“If she’s off making new friends, then maybe you should consider kissing your other friends,” you playfully shrug, knowing better than to get involved in a situation like this. “Y’know… make it even.”

And Jungkook is well aware he shouldn’t indulge in your flirt, but he’s hurting. Wants to feel wanted—and the way you’re looking at him? He can’t remember the last time Hayun looked at him like that.

The way you see it, you’ll never see this man again. You could both do with a little pick-me-up. Confirmation that life goes on, even if the people you date are awful.

A kiss is just a kiss.

Or at least, for now, it is. One day, you’ll develop a complex. Blame Seokjin.

But you’re yet to meet him. Yet to unlearn all your rules and make far feebler, more pathetic ones in their place.

“Y’know, you’re kinda cute,” you whisper, edging closer ever so slightly.

“Kinda?” He tweaks a brow, eyes not on yours, but on your lips. There’s a little glitter in your gloss. Think maybe it’ll suit him better.

“Mhmm,” you hum, reaching up to lightly trace your thumb across his bottom lip, ridding him of a little bit of his very own red flag. “Kinda. Never kissed a guy with a lip piercing.”

Just a stud, he’s only had it a little while. Was trying to make himself look a little older. Sharper. Light from the house catches in it as your thumb pulls back - but Jungkook pulls closer. Nudges his nose against yours. Holds it there for a second.

“Maybe I should take one for the team,” he husks, lips brushing yours. “Just so you know what it’s like.”

Nodding, you let your nose stroke against his. “You’d be such a good friend if you did.”

Lips parted, the end of your sentence grants him permission to sink his lips between yours. Slow as he does so, Jungkook’s scared of fucking it up.

Hasn’t kissed anyone that isn’t Hayun for months, now. Isn’t even sure he knows how to.

And yet as soon as you press down into the kiss, his mind is void of her. Totally blank. Pitch black, until the faintest of stars begin to appear. Sparkle. Shine.

There’s a sweetness to you, even despite the whiskey. Maybe it’s the cranberry juice. Maybe it’s your lip gloss. Jungkook doesn’t have the mental capacity to decipher it, for he can feel your tongue stroking across his bottom lip—and then he’s granting permission. Inviting you into his mouth. Stroking his tongue against yours, as if he’s in the privacy of the party bathroom—not out front for everyone to see.

Shamelessly, he almost wants Hayun to see—but as quickly as a thought of her intrudes, it’s replaced by the way you feel. It makes him pull you closer. Gets him whining into your mouth. Makes you smile.

It’s confirmation that there’s nothing wrong with you; that the girl you were seeing really was just a dickhead.

Pressing your hand to his chest, you slowly push him away. Are reluctant to finish kissing him. In fact, even as you push him back, your body follows, until you force yourself to pull back.

“There,” you smile, a little infatuated with how sparkly his eyes appear. “Now you’re even.”

“We can make it odd, again, if you want,” Jungkook offers, far bolder than even he realises. Just doesn’t wanna stop kissing you. Maybe it’s just the whiskey. Yeah. He’ll blame it on that.

“That’s a bad decision waiting to happen,” you laugh, getting to your feet, because you don’t trust yourself to stay. “My purpose is served. Friends don’t fuck you over. Stop wasting your kisses on people who are gonna fuck you over.”

Your message is clear: she’s not your friend.

It’s a lesson he’ll learn far too late in life.

“But you’re ditching me?” He says as you begin to walk away. “That’s not friendly!”

For a girl who should really be wallowing in self-pity, you’re surprisingly chirpy. Jungkook envies it. Wishes he could stop caring in the way that he does —he just doesn’t realise your situationship really was as simple as they’re supposed to be. The feelings were yet to fully develop.

If love is a choice—which you think, to a degree, it is—then before it can develop, choices have to be made. Your partner is supposed to choose you. The girl you’d been seeing has just demonstrated that she wouldn’t choose you, and so why should you choose her?

Life was simpler before Seokjin; before you really knew what it was to love.

Or, to love, and to not be chosen.

To choose, even when you’re never chosen.

Sort of like how Jungkook is, now.

“I’m doing you a favour!” You call back, tipsy smile just as radiant as you seem to be. You're jovial in your tone, and the attitude rubs off on him. Gets him smiling, too. “Saving you from yourself. If I kiss you again, you’ll fall in love, baby. They always do!”

The way you jet off is spritely. Happy. Abundantly clear that you’re yet to know what heartbreak really feels like.

The girl getting a little too friendly with the star violinist will be long forgotten by the time you meet Jungkook once again, and so will he. In fact, the scar left by Seokjin manages to mangle just about all of your romantic memories prior to him.

You’ll become folklore; a girl Jungkook doesn’t know the name of, but who Hayun is pretty sure is legally named ‘Desperate Skank’. Someone they argue about on a few too many occasions. A memory he barely remembers, but in the heat of their drunken fight later that evening became a permanent sticking spot in their situationship.

‘Cause while Hayun was off making friends, that’s all she was doing. Getting numbers. Getting a little touchy-feely. Getting her ego stroked. Getting zero kisses, because she had been reserving them for him.

Why she was only making friends with six-foot-something muscle pigs with more protein powder in their system than common sense is another thing they’ll argue about—but he’s the one in the wrong this time, or so she makes sure to tell him.

He’ll think of you sometimes. The memory will be hazy. Blurry, like driving down a midnight highway with astigmatism.

He’ll think of you, and he’ll see stars.

And when he sees you again in the dark of Dionysus a few years later, with no recollection of who you are, his brain will scream at him. Beg him to remember.

He won’t.

But he will, inevitably, see stars once more.

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illegiblewords · 5 months

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Serious talk about meta under the cut.

I don't know who might need to hear it, but fwiw mental flexibility is a huge part of analysis (and interacting with other humans lol). You need to be able to account for multiple possibilities when examining a work, or understanding a social exchange. You need to be able to separate what is objective fact from your own subjective interpretation and judgment. The most negative interpretation is not automatically the most worthwhile or true. Someone throwing accusations around in-line with their own worst interpretations does not guarantee those accusations are warranted. You are not a bad or stupid person for disagreeing. Shit needs to withstand scrutiny. I don't always strike the right balance myself. I do the best I can but I'm definitely not perfect. Tbh I'm not beyond pettiness either--although I try to keep that out of actual analysis lol. There have been times I've griped to friends privately or blogged about how I felt (sans tags, with spoiler blocks so people can opt out). I've griped recently. I'm bound to gripe again in the future. Some level of griping is inevitable imo and I figure no one is 100% immune.

All that said, even if someone’s take isn't canon AND even if it's something I really dislike--I'd personally rather people follow their passions anyway. Hands down. I could be in the middle of a rant and my answer would still be that the subject of my frustration gets to exist. I'm not the boss and odds are we're going with different versions in our own heads. Discouraging another fan from creating due to my preferences or narrative approach would horrify me. I've seen fandoms where gatekeeping like that killed the creative community and it was fucking awful.

Not everyone is confident in their own judgment. Not everyone faced with a pissed off person trying to use lore and accusations like clubs will feel okay continuing with their own vision. Elitism and manipulation (especially through rhetoric) can be present within analysis. People are not being taught how to recognize those things properly. Analysts aren't always aware or invested enough to even be careful. It’s legit easy to get caught up in ideas or feelings to the point of forgetting about other people’s, and adjusting to account for alternate approaches takes some work. For me at least, I think having a 'no insults' policy and being super careful when it comes to absolute claims (assertions not qualified by 'I think' or 'it could be argued') helps.

Anyway. Just because a person calls something ‘meaningless’ doesn't make it meaningless. Someone pooh-poohing an observation you made doesn't make your observation less true or important. Employing a literary term doesn't mean that individual actually understands the term, how it works, or how to apply it. Which is to say nothing of romantic chemistry or whatever. I encourage readers to extrapolate on this. ‘Shallow’ could apply as much as ‘meaningless’. Denying parallels exist by itself doesn’t actually negate those parallels. Your version of a character may not be the same as the fan next to you’s and that difference doesn't have to detract. There's more I could say on the subject (I've edited out a lot) but basically--just because another fan isn't into what you're doing doesn't automatically make what you're doing wrong, immoral, shoddy, or otherwise less.

Seriously, vet shit. Question the entire premise an analyst tries to establish then decide for yourself if it holds water. Turn over word choices and assertions in your head before deciding if they're appropriate. Do it to me too. I don't care if someone is the holy goddamn emperor of analysts. Just because a person says something is good or bad, true or false, whatever the hell doesn't make it so. Just because a person uses a technical term doesn't mean they're discussing it effectively. Quality of argument matters beyond the packaging it’s wrapped in. It's important to protect yourself from people whose priority is enforcing their own preferences, including dismissing things they aren't partial to.

I just don't want anyone shamed silent man. Not even people whose takes drive me up the fucking wall. Neither I nor any other analyst is an authority here. And there are people who are absolutely ready to take advantage of other people’s insecurities to assert themselves. Might not even be malicious, just indifferent.

For me, analysis feels kind of like uncovering a dinosaur skeleton. I want to share the cool and exciting things I find with other people. Sometimes I might be sorting out what my own thoughts and feelings are. It's also possible to examine why you're uncomfortable with something, or why you love something another person hates, while making very clear what is YOUR READING and not THE READING. Offering a variety of possibilities is very different from presenting yourself as the only correct one. One note at the end when everything else was insulting and intolerant is like a band-aid over a wound.

EDIT: As a last point, that I'm throwing in just-in-case. If anyone reading this thinks they may have overreached and done stuff I've mentioned + feels shitty about it… that's still not the end of the world. It’s okay. This is hard stuff to learn and I really don't think anyone's perfect at it. Worth the effort though. Just gotta take a deep breath, acknowledge you're a fallible human same as everyone else, and do the best you can going forward. Life goes on.

#saw one that horrified me a bit recently #involved a combination of overreaching + insults + purity culture #I can totally imagine buying in and being seriously fucked up by it when I was younger #I don’t want that happening to anyone else #it's okay to talk about NOTPs man but there are more and less responsible ways to do that

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aeirithgainsborough · 2 months

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i'm curious, do you know why or have and theories on why they make cloti kiss but clerith only hug/hold hands? I was thinking that clerith is more pure and their love is slowly blossoming aka slowburn which I find cute and very fitting for them but the clerith shipper in me is angry bc I would have loved to see them kiss LOL what are your thoughts?

I’ll be real with you, I don’t think either ship should have had a kiss yet and im astonished CT did and how it happened, i think its spoiled all the build up having it there when they’ve been arguing a lot and that it would have been so much more poignant after the LS sequence but now the moment is gone on a poorly framed kiss they’re never going to talk about again bcus it has no relevance to the plot. Thats why they have them agree not to talk about it. I think it’s a shame for people who have waited for 27yrs for that moment. And then after it no matter what they all have to play as Cloud has many non optional romantic moments with Aerith in ch 13 + 14. Reviews have mentioned how off and disjoined it is. I think that’s why they made sure to emphasise before the game came out that the dates were meant to be fun but don’t impact the story. But id be pissed if id waited that long for a kiss and that’s how i got it. and especially that in one route cloud looks like a dick but in another he doesn’t; that should really tell them something about the story. Why they gave them one idk, but I kinda wonder if it was getting them on the hook for p3 cus the last 2 chapters made CT fans real mad (even if they’re pretending otherwise on main, ppl have seen their discord and they’re not happy).

I think CA don’t kiss for a few reasons:

Cloud has remembered Zack, albeit incorrectly, much earlier. Through the game he has instances of jealousy towards him and that becomes more uncomfortable and confusing once he’s remembered they were friends. This has just happed before the dates and why when they get on skywheel he’s a bit awkward and won’t sit beside her! Of course that doesn’t last long; it was either nojima or nomura but one of them said in remake that cloud tries to keep distance between him and Aerith but he can’t do it 🥰🥰 but Zack definitely makes him more reluctant and unsure. Even when he reaches to take her hand it’s slow and cautious bcus he doesn’t know if it’s okay. And of course it is!

Aerith is fully aware Cloud is not himself. On his GS date she tells him she’s trying so hard to find him but in case you missed that as you did a different date, she also says it again in the sleeping forest; that cloud should focus on the real him she’s been looking for and leave Sephiroth to her. She knows there’s something up and kissing him knowing that is not something I think Aerith would do.

CA are the love that could never be ship. In the trailer for the 97 game, that was what they were described as. Part of the tragedy of clerith is that they have these budding feelings but before they have a chance to go anywhere Aerith is murdered. In the original cloud realises the depth of his feelings too late: at the end he says ‘I think I understand now’ and then expresses his desire to meet Aerith in the promised land. And all crossover material he’s in emphasises that he’s always looking for her. They are a star crossed lovers ship. And cloud is also dense and emotionally a mess; yes he likes her clearly, he shows jealousy for Zack, he goes on dates with her, he holds her hand and looks so happy to do so, but he can’t put all those feelings he has and come up with the right answer. In the church she confesses and he doesn’t quite get it and she, linking to her resolution imo (don’t fall in love with me) drops it and apologises and hugs him instead. This is all in line with the OG, that he’ll be hit with the full force of his feelings and what she meant in p3. Remember he’s just said he wants to go on more dates to create more ‘our spots’ with her. She looks happy and then sad when he says this because yay he likes her he wants to do this again, but of course she knows what he doesn’t: that they are about to run out of time.

So that is why I think they don’t kiss. I think it makes sense they didn’t! But I do think they’ll kiss in p3 for sure.

#ask #anonymous #rebirth spoilers

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nickfowlerrr · 2 years

Text

pretty when you cry - chapter thirteen

series masterlist

pairing: dark!biker!bucky x curvy!reader (dark!soulmate au)

warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. 18+ ONLY. dubcon elements. poorly written smut. elements of toxic relationships. darkish happy? ending (imo). if i’m missing anything pls let me know

words: 6.6k

notes: this is it! sorry it took so damn long and is poorly edited but i hope you all enjoy. and if you don’t - i completely understand bc i think it’s kind of a let down but i usually am let down by my work 💀 also i’m terrible at endings so sorry again lol but i hope it wasn’t too bad. this has been my first ever series and i’ve learned so much about my writing in the process. thank you to each and every one of you who has read and shared and commented on pwyc - i love all of you so much and i’m so glad i was able to share this with you. i said this previously but i am more than open to writing drabbles and one shots for these guys if anyone has anything they’d like to send in and i am already planning on writing an epilogue i’m just not sure when i will. also! if you have already sent in requests just know i did receive them and am working on them - it just takes me a while to get things done if i’m not entirely inspired when i’m trying to write them lol. anywho! please let me know what you think about this last chapter - i love reading your feedback and thoughts. again - i hope you all enjoy and thank you again for reading 🥰

This is a DARK series!!! Please proceed with abundant caution.

You got up out of the bed and walked straight out of the room. As you opened the door and walked out into the hall, it was pitch black all around you. You didn’t know the house well enough to make much out around you but you had a vague idea of where things were and where the stairs were at least. There was no sign of him being downstairs as there were no lights on, though you thought maybe he could be down there and simply turned the lights out already.. You tried to look around the rest of the floor before having to go down the steps and were relieved to see a hint of light behind one of the doors on the opposite side of the hall.

You knew he could quite literally feel you and it only made you more upset. He knew what you were feeling and was content to only make you feel worse. It would have pissed you off if you weren’t so desperate for him. You walked to the door and only then did you notice it wasn’t shut all the way. If you were remembering correctly, this was one of the guest rooms you had seen earlier in the day. Pushing the door open, you slowly made your way inside. There you found Bucky pulling the covers back on the bed looking like he was getting ready to lay down, still not bothering to look at you. You bit your lip and took a breath before walking further into the room.

“Are you sleeping in here?” was all you could think to ask as you stared at him with a longing you were sure he felt.

“You said you needed to be alone. I’m leaving you alone. Just like you asked.” he said as he turned to face you.

“I’m not stupid, Bucky. I know you know what you’re doing.”

“Oh? And what am I doing?” he asked, moving to sit on the bed.

You couldn’t find the words to answer him, so you just looked at him with glassy eyes. You didn’t want to break first, really you didn’t. But you couldn’t take it anymore. He took your silence as a sign that the conversation was over and proceeded to lay down, turning the light off next to him as he did.

You stood there in the dark for a second before finally speaking.

“You said that you love me,”

Your voice was meek and barely audible, but you knew he heard you from the way he went rigid and the change in his breathing.

“Don’t you love me?” you asked with tears in your eyes.

It would have almost been funny the way Bucky shot up if you hadn’t been so caught up in your own despair.

Before you knew what he was doing, he pulled you to him as he sat up. With you standing before him between his legs, he turned the lights back on and then turned back to you with a serious look.

You didn’t know what he was about to say, but you knew you couldn’t take hearing anything other than his reassurances so you spoke again before he could.

“Please don’t be mean to me,” you said as you stood there, his hands finding your hips and pulling you closer to him.

“Sweetheart. I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of. More than anything or anyone.” he said as he looked into your eyes. “You’re my whole heart. Of course I love you. I’m never letting you go,” he finished as he squeezed you.

“Yeah? If you really mean that then why- why were you being so mean?” you heard yourself ask, though it was hard to believe it was really you talking. You sounded so sad and broken and you felt like a little kid.

“I needed you to see how much you need me, sweetheart. You had to see that. Had to feel what I’ve been feeling… being denied the love you're supposed to be receiving from your soulmate. What it’s like without it. You know now, yeah? It’s not just me, it’s both of us. It’s our connection. I need you just as much as you need me. And I need you more than anyone or anything,” he was soft spoken, treating you with such delicacy it was almost maddening. The switch from his earlier demeanor and attitude was near instantaneous and jarring as it always was. But his touch was soothing, and you couldn’t stop yourself from seeking more. As if he knew what you were wanting without you saying it aloud, Bucky was pulling you onto the bed with him and before you knew it you were cuddling up to him like a lovesick puppy. And Bucky loved it.

Suddenly, it all clicked for you. You got it now. Like, really really got it. Even though it seemed like you could never pin him down, it was clear as day the reason he could so easily flip on a dime. It was you, it always had been you. This connection. His obvious fear of losing you, of being rejected by the one person who was guaranteed to love him despite everything, was the main cause of it. He couldn’t lose you and so he reacted instinctively with malice and possessiveness, though he was in a prison of his own making.

Bucky, obviously, was all in now. He couldn’t deny that he was in total love with you and you challenging that, the one thing he knows to be true about himself, had to be triggering. From your own perspective, you knew you were different around Bucky, you realized that it had to be the same for him. It’s a change you still aren’t used to and you were sure he wasn’t used to his own changes either.. But if you played your cards right, the shitty hand you had been dealt by life, you were sure you could play him just as easily, if not easier, than he had played you today. And that was an oddly comforting conclusion to come to. Though it would certainly be easier to just give in completely to your connection - to him, you weren’t sure if you could truly let it all go. It’d always be somewhere in the back of your mind - it’s not easily forgotten, no matter how much either of you may wish it would be. And you weren’t too keen on the idea of losing yourself and your will entirely just because you were soulmates. It was supposed to be an equal exchange of one’s self to the other, wasn’t it?

As little consolation as it was, you had a growing awareness that Bucky would do nearly anything if it made you happy. He would do anything for you…you could get him to do almost anything. You just had to work it the right way. And you could do that.

“I’m..I’m so sorry, Bucky” you said while your head was on his shoulder. He undoubtedly could feel the tension fading from you as you laid with him and while you spoke. “I get it now. You were right, this whole time.. you’ve been right. I just didn’t want to admit it, didn’t want to accept it. I just..I’m sorry. But I think I’m seeing things clearly now,” you whispered. A part of you was worried that if you kept this up you’d start to believe yourself, but you knew that Bucky was wrong. At least in the extreme ways he acted. And the way he approached the majority, if not all, of your relationship thus far. He was just too stubborn or maybe too selfish to understand that right now. But unlike him, you wouldn’t try and force him to see things your way. You’d move a little more gently than that.

Still, you felt a tinge of guilt for how manipulative you thought you were being and yet you also felt a bit of shame for how appeasing you were at the same time. You honestly didn’t know how you truly felt in the moment.. You were still acutely aware of how you ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ feel. Maybe you did know deep down how you felt, but you weren’t open to fully embracing or accepting it. What you did know was that Bucky holding you and telling you that it was all okay was making you feel better than you had the past few days. And you knew you didn’t want him to be upset with you or hurt by you any further. Though that hurt was in truth brought on by his own actions, you couldn’t find it in yourself to knowingly continue it.

You felt you needed to quiet your mind for a moment and so you let your eyes flutter shut as Bucky’s metal arm held you and his flesh hand rubbed your back soothingly. Before you could catch yourself, you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up feeling more clear and more like yourself. The smell of freshly brewed coffee greeted your senses as you sat up on the bed to find that you were back in the main bedroom and the spot beside you was warm but empty. Your brows furrowed as you looked for your phone and checked the time, seeing a steaming mug on the stand where your phone laid. You made to sip some coffee, seemingly made the way you always took it, but decided against it as you didn’t want to scald your tongue on the hot brew. You got up and wandered into the bathroom, going about your typical morning routine in the still new home you found yourself in.

As you finished up and walked back into the bedroom, you were met by the sight of Bucky coming in.

“Morning, princess,” he greeted with a smile much too big for your liking at the moment as he approached his bedside table while carrying two plates of breakfast in his hands.

“Morning,” you responded almost skeptically as you sized him up. He wasn’t gonna act like yesterday just never happened, was he? Well, of course he probably was. But you still needed to finish your conversation from yesterday and he wouldn’t charm his way out of it or distract you this time.

“Lay back down,” he urged, voice soothing and expectant. The hold Bucky had over you was, frankly, obnoxious because though you stood in your spot a moment, you soon moved to his whim and sat back on the bed, reaching for the coffee as you did.

“I made pancakes,” he said as he handed you the plate and you set the mug back down to take it from him. “How’s the coffee?”

“Good,” you responded, nodding your head slightly. “Thank you.”

He took his spot back on the bed with his own plate as you stared down at yours. You weren’t sure how to approach this. The last thing you wanted to do was start another argument, but you needed to say what you needed to say.

“They’re not poisoned,” Bucky spoke from beside you as he cut into his own pancakes. You looked over at him as he shoveled a forkful into his mouth and gave you a lopsided grin before reaching over to you and cutting into the pancakes on your plate, taking a piece onto his own fork and making a show of eating it. “See?” he taunted almost cheekily. You couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped out or the lilting of your lips as you rolled your eyes at him.

You started eating in slow bites as you thought and didn’t notice Bucky moving in closer as you both sat in, dare you say, comfortable silence, until he took your plate from you and moved it on top of his as he leaned back over to his left side and set them on his bedside table. He was back beside you in an instant as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side, placing a kiss on your temple. “This is how yesterday was supposed to go,” he muttered against your skin, giving you the perfect opportunity to bring up what you needed to.

You tried to pull away from him, wanting to look at him more directly as you started talking, but he didn’t let you out of his grasp. Instead, he pulled you more into him, causing you to turn completely and forcing you to essentially straddle him as you had nowhere else to move. You huffed as you tried to get off of him and he only held you still.

“Bucky,” you whined.

“What?” he asked as if he was doing nothing.

“Stop it. I- we need to talk..about yesterday,” you started. His grip got a little tighter around you, pulling you closer against his chest before he responded.

“We did talk,”

“No, we didn’t. Not about everything,”

His jaw clenched but you refused to let this conversation go as you held eye contact with him.

“Fine. What do you want to talk about?”

“You know what,” you accused.

“Enlighten me,” he mused as his hands began rubbing up and down your back.

The urge to push off of him and get distance between the two of you was strong, but you fought that urge - thinking that as long as you could keep your own head on straight, the closeness would make Bucky more receptive to you.

You moved his right arm from around your back and held his hand in your own. “Please listen to me,” you urged him.

“I’m listening,” he said as he intertwined your fingers. You honestly couldn’t tell how much he was paying attention as it seemed like his mind was elsewhere, but figured you needed to just talk and see how he responded.

“I need you to hear me, Bucky. Because I mean this. You can’t ever treat me like that again. If this is gonna work, if there’s any chance of making this work, you..you have to at least be nice to me,” you started, pausing in case he had anything to say yet, but he didn’t so you continued on.

“You have to do better. You have to treat me better. And you have to be more consistent,” you spoke a little more confidently. “You’re so nice to me one second and then I say something you don’t like and the next.. I just- I can’t take the whiplash anymore. I won’t.” Bucky’s eyes looked like they had darkened as he took in your last words and though it looked like he was about to say something, you spoke again before he could.

“I’m not- I’m not threatening or saying I’m gonna leave,” you rushed out. “You just.. There’s so much happening. So much has happened. And everything is so different for me, everything is changing and I just- I guess I just need you to be patient with me..”

“You may not believe me,” he began quietly, “But I am trying. There’s a lot happening and changing with me, too, you know. This hasn’t been all sunshine and roses for me either, sweetheart.”

A sense of guilt rushed through you as he spoke. But why? You felt sorry for what you had done, but really what did you do? You didn’t let him have you when he wanted you, and that was what you felt guilty for? You shouldn’t feel sorry for respecting yourself and your feelings.

Still though, just reflecting back on the previous day you couldn’t imagine what Bucky had to be going through each time you rejected him and turned him away. But was there really any comparison between the unintentional emotional pain you caused him and the pain he had caused you? How do you even compare such things..were they even worth comparing.?

Bucky felt your hurt and continued on as you stared down at your still interlocked hands, surely looking conflicted.

“I never meant to hurt you. And I know you never meant to hurt me.”

Try as you might, you couldn’t hide your indignation at that.

“I hurt you? I hurt you?” you said in disbelief as you let go of his hand and pulled away from him. “Are you fucking serious, Bucky? Intention is kind of the big difference here, don’t you think? You say you never meant to, but fuck, you did. You absolutely did. Forget everything that happened before I got here, okay, let’s just focus on literally yesterday alone!

You used this connection against me. You were mean and hurtful and you purposely humiliated me. So don’t sit here and act like you never meant to. I never meant to hurt you, but you hurt me over and over to prove your point and you know you did.”

Bucky grabbed you as you tried to get off the bed and restrained you with your back to his chest and his arms wrapping around you.

“Stop. Stop,” he spoke in your ear as you tried to get out of his grasp. You had to calm yourself down and took a couple deep breaths as you stopped fighting against him. This was not going to plan, and you thought back to what Eva had told you again, your attitude always came out at the least opportune times (ie when you were in the midst of situations you should be deescalating).

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly as you tried to relax yourself in his strong grip before speaking again.

“I’m sorry. For hurting you. I didn’t- I never realized how affected you were by our connection and by my..resisting it. I didn’t know I was hurting you. I can’t say that I didn’t ever want you to hurt, especially before, but I never meant to intentionally hurt you. I couldn’t. It makes me feel illogically terrible knowing that you were ever feeling that way because of me. That you felt that way because of me. I’m sorry.” Bucky’s hold tightened around you briefly as he buried his head in your neck for a second before looking back up and tilting to kiss you. It was soft and you were feeling yourself fall weak as he held you.

“I don’t need an apology, princess,” he said.

“Well, I do,” you stated breathily. “I do. I need one.”

“Okay,” he said before placing a light kiss on your neck. “I’ll make it up to you,” he murmured against your skin before he began trailing kisses along your neck.

It was sobering as he did so. Did he actually hear you at all? Did he care at all about how upsetting his behavior had been? Did it really even matter? You didn’t really care. Whether he meant it or not, you just needed to hear him say he was sorry or you didn’t think you could keep this up. Loving him was outside of your control, but you couldn’t imagine living being so angry all the time because he was incapable of taking full responsibility for his shitty actions and for being incapable of saying a simple ‘I’m sorry’, because in all reality that was the very least he could offer you. You pulled away from him and moved to turn around and face him.

“No. I need you to say it. Say you’re sorry,”

“I have,”

“No you haven’t. You’ve been trying to pacify me, you’re acting like nothing happened but I can’t. I just need to hear you apologize. Just say it - just tell me you’re sorry and I can pretend that you really are and I’ll feel better. I don’t care if you don’t mean it, okay? I don’t care if you’re lying, just say it, please,” you pleaded as tears grew in your eyes. Bucky swiftly moved to hold your face in his hands and continued to hold your gaze as he spoke.

“Listen to me,” he began seriously. “I’m not lying. I’m sorry, I really am. I’m so sorry,” the sincerity in his voice was evident and felt real as he leaned his forehead against yours. You found your arms wrapping around him as your tears started to fall. He pulled you down to lay on the mattress while he hugged you back and kissed your head, letting out a heavy sigh as he squeezed you.

“I’m sorry,” he said again as he tilted your jaw up, right hand holding your chin before he moved in and kissed you, then pulled back to wipe some of your tears away as you blinked at him. You suddenly wanted him even closer and pulled him back toward you, surprising him by catching his lips in yours. You don’t know what came over you, but it felt like you had been missing him your entire life all at once and you wanted him all around you, heart and soul consumed by your sudden need for him - stronger even than the day before. It was like just hearing him say he was sorry was a huge weight lifted off you. You couldn’t explain it, you just acted on what you were feeling, no thoughts other than Bucky.

Your lips were on his, and then on his cheek, down his throat, and all over his exposed chest. You had no inhibitions, no trepidations, and Bucky was more than on board with your sudden shift, if not just a little surprised. His hands found the hem of your sleep shirt and he pulled it off and over your head with no complaints against the action from you as he then flipped you completely onto your back, hovering over you. Your hands found his hair and you pulled him back down to you, lips crashing into his once again. You felt frenzied.

Bucky pulled away, both of you a little breathless.

“Slow down there, sweetheart,” he chuckled.

“No,” was all you responded with as you pulled him back down to you.

The kiss was electric and full of passion and desire as you allowed it to grow deeper and deeper.

You all of a sudden found yourself tugging down his sweats as best you could before he pulled away and took them the rest of the way off while you tore your shorts and panties down your legs.

He returned to his position above you and made quick work of your bra, hands then fondling you as you leaned up and took his lips in yours once again.

“You okay?” he asked suddenly after breaking away once again breathless.

“‘M’fine. I just want you. Need you. Now,” you panted before pulling him down to you again.

His lips crashed with yours in another heated kiss as he lifted your leg, urging you to wrap it around him and open yourself up for him which you complied with instantly.

In one swift motion, Bucky seated himself deep inside of you, no foreplay or explicit warning. You slightly winced then moaned at the feel of him and your hands reached to wrap around his body as your nails raked down his skin. You were surprised by how wet you were for him already as you welcomed him in, your heat wrapped around his cock like a vice to keep him inside as he fucked you. Your bodies were cosmically in sync as he quickly brought you closer and closer to your orgasm. Your nerves were alight with the pleasure as he rocked into you and you were touching and grabbing and feeling each other like you never had before. It was sudden and animal and passion fueld and you didn’t know where it came from but you didn’t want it to stop.

His lips planting along your skin, trailing up and down, leaving bites every now and again. You soon had both legs wrapped around him as he moved inside of you - hitting every perfect spot and causing delightful friction against your clit as well.

He was breathing heavy as you were and when you began to shower him with praise, he only got more dedicated in his movements.

“That’s so good, Bucky,” you moaned. “Oh god you’re so good,” you said, earning a deep groan from him that only got you more turned on and left you feeling hotter than you had been feeling before.

“Right there, Bucky. Yes, please, please don’t stop,” you continued to beg. “I’m so close, please!” And you really were. You weren’t sure what was going on or what had come over you but you did know that you desperately needed him and wanted to feel him hitting in and out of you. You wanted to feel him come so desperately that you didn’t care how loud or needy you might have been being. You were solely focused on your need for him. You wanted to come and you wanted him to come with you.

“Fuck, baby, keep talking like that I’m not gonna last,” he moaned out.

“Don’t want you to,” you said, “Wanna come, I wanna come with you,” you whined. “Please, Bucky, I want you so badly - I can’t wait. I need it, Buck, please”

You almost screamed out when his fingers found your stimulated nub and he continued to work you over even as his hips slowed down to a deep rocking. You were sure you’d burst if he didn’t give you what you needed soon. Especially as what felt animal became slower and deeper and more sensual. You felt even closer than before as his pace ensured you felt each and every drag of his thick cock and each and every touch he left on your skin. The look in each other’s eyes was indescribable as you gazed into one another - wanting to see all you could. Every feeling, every thought, every emotion, everything.

“Tell me you love me,” he breathed raggedly as he continued to fuck into you while his thumb worked your sensitive clit, sending delicious waves of pleasure through you with every move he made.

“I-“ you tried to speak but suddenly words were lost. “I love- I love you. I love you, Bucky- I love you!” you chanted repeatedly as you held onto him like your life depended on it. “Please,” you cried. “Please come with me, please.”

The grunts and groans and moans coming from him were beautiful and the look of pure pleasure that flooded his face as he reached his peak inside of you was enchanting and you were laid there, consumed completely by him as you reached your own bliss in time with his.

Bucky had come inside of you and you didn’t know you could ever feel so full as you held him to you. Settling down, he didn’t want to move you too much, as comfortable as you both were, so he gently pulled you onto your side and against him after he lowered himself down onto the mattress. “Fuck, I love you, princess. So goddamn much,” he breathed before kissing you again.

You cuddled closer to him as you regained your breathing and he kissed you up and down your neck and down to your shoulder as he held you to him. one of your legs still wrapped around him while he stayed inside of you, keeping you as full of him as he could. You both laid with each other for a while, though you were sure Bucky was ready to go again should you want as you still felt him inside of you. But before you could initiate another round, still craving more intimacy with him like your soul was wanting to try and make up for lost time, your phone started ringing on the opposite bedside table. Bucky gently removed himself from you and you gasped at the loss of him and the flood of his seed that followed. You gingerly got off the bed while Bucky turned to check your phone. It was the perfect chance to get your head back on as you could put a little distance between you and not get completely swept up by him and your heart. That didn’t really work though as you were still craving his touch and seeking his closeness. You walked to the bathroom and Bucky followed suit. You showered together and the air around the both of you just felt entirely different. It felt like a dream. He helped clean you up and after you were both done, you found yourself just standing under the water, hugging him while he held you in return as you slightly swayed against him. You felt different. He felt different. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint why.

For the first time, really, you openly wanted him. You loved him, no holds barred. And the mutual affection was almost supercharging your desire to be around one another. This was what it always should have been.

Now, it’s not like you had forgotten anything he’d done, but the stranglehold you had on it- the hold it had over you had been..alleviated? It had to be, or none of this would ever work out happily for you. If you had to let go in order to not be so angry and hurt and bitter all the time, you would. And you did. The shift was instantaneous.

It certainly wasn’t an easy thing to do, forgiving him, but you know the end. It’s you two, together. No matter what. So why should you have to suffer any more than you already have? This could be good, great even. Bucky has only been mean when you’ve pushed him away and rejected him (whether it was deserved or not - he couldn’t see the difference past his selfishness). The rest of the time, sure, he could be domineering and possessive and a bit of a cocky jackass but you could handle that. And you knew what he was capable of, but there was a dominant, innate part of you that trusted him to never take advantage of your connection the way he had before again. You weren’t really worried that he’d ever hurt you and you weren’t planning on pushing him to the point of threatening or hurting other people again. You knew he’d do whatever he had to to keep you with him and keep you his.

And you know now just how far you can push him and you’re sure you know how to get your way..for most things. You were sure there were some things he wouldn’t budge on, like say, moving you in with him, but for others, you’d test the waters and see. Though there were some things you wouldn’t budge on either and you’d have no problem fighting for. You may be more appeasing and amenable, considering how much easier it would make your life, but you weren’t a door mat. He couldn’t take over every aspect of your life and you had to make sure he knew how you felt about that.

When you two finally got out of the shower and dried off and dressed, you grabbed your phone to see it was a missed call from Eva and some text messages.

Holding you to it this time, no joke. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, you’re not gonna flake on me again!! 😤

And answer your damn phone once in a while - what if it was an emergency??

Also! I switched shifts with Max tomorrow so we’re gonna be working together again finally😍

You felt so guilty for how in the dark you were keeping your best friend, and how shitty of a friend you had been in general. Bucky obviously picked up on it and walked up behind you as you wrote a quick response.

Sorry, I was in the shower!! But no flaking this time, I promise. 💗 See you tomorrow 🥰

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked as he read your text from over your shoulder. You locked your phone and put it in your pocket as you turned to face him.

“Working,” you said simply. He quirked an eyebrow at you and you proceeded to walk around him before he caught you by the arm, pulled you into him and looked down at you.

“No you’re not,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You bit your tongue before your instinctive response could be voiced and tilted your head back to look up at him with the best puppy dog eyes you could manage.

“I’m not?” you said, voice full of disappointment. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Why would you? You don’t need to be working anywhere anymore, princess,” he stated as his arms wrapped around you and your head hit his chest. Your hands found his and you blinked up at him.

“Okay…so I don’t need to, but.. I want to,” you said. Bucky just sucked his teeth and stared down at you a moment, and before he could respond, you spoke again.

“Please, Buck,” you coaxed sweetly, though every last bit of independence and dignity in you was fighting against you to just tell him you were going whether he wanted you to or not instead of asking him for his blessing to do so. The saying, ‘You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar’ ran through your head as you swallowed down the words you were really wanting to say. You spun around in his arms instead and reached up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you.

“Please,” you whispered against his lips as your noses touched. He groaned softly and rolled his eyes before he gave in and kissed you. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss and pulled away to look at him as his hands moved down to your ass.

“That a yes?”

“Fine, but don’t think I’m not gonna have anyone there to keep an eye out,” he warned, causing you to literally bite your tongue as you held back a retort.

“Oh, I’d expect nothing less,” you said sarcastically. He lightly smacked your ass and then let you go, walking to the opposite bedside table and grabbing your plates. You took the half filled mug of now cold coffee and followed him downstairs. He placed the plates in the dishwasher after rinsing them off and then did the same with the mug after taking it from you.

You bit your lip as you watched him move around the kitchen, not exactly sure what to do then. You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of Bucky’s chuckle, making your brows furrow as you refocused on him. He shook his head as he looked at you, admiring you.

“What?” you asked, suddenly feel a little self conscious.

“I- ha,” he laughed, “I don’t remember the last time I felt this happy,” he smiled, causing you to swallow hard and look down and away from him.

“Shit, don’t look so sick, sweetheart,”

Your head shot up as you found his eyes and you shook your head.

“No, I- I’m just..I,” you stuttered before taking a deep breath. “I just wish we could have started this way..ya know?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” he responded. You stared at him a moment longer and nodded your head.

“I don’t know what to do now,” you admitted.

“I have to head to the shop later tonight, but until then I really just wanna be around you,” he said as he approached you.

“You always wanna be around me,” you said with an eye roll.

“Yeah, and you and I both know the feeling is growing mutual,” he said as he gently grabbed your chin and leaned down to kiss you.

“So what are we doing, then?” you asked after pulling away. Bucky just shrugged and dropped his hands from your face, moving to lean against the counter.

“We can do whatever you want to do as long as you ask nicely,” he grinned as your jaw clenched in immediate annoyance. “Come on now, sweetheart, you’ve been hiding it so well so far,” he laughed. You huffed and gawked at him a second before replying.

“So you just enjoy testing my limits, then, is that it?” you said as you really took in his meaning. He knew what you had been doing just as well as you knew what he had been doing.

“Apparently just as much as you enjoy testing mine. Glad you finally realized I respond much better to positive reinforcement than I do negative,”

You glared at him as you clicked your tongue.

“This isn’t a very healthy relationship dynamic, you know that, right?”

“It’s working for us, though, isn’t it,” he said as he pushed off the counter and led you to the living room, pulling you onto the couch with him. He had you on his lap in an instant and attacked your neck with kisses and love bites all over again as your hands held his head. You were going to stop him, but only ended up tilting your head back further, granting him more access to you as your nails lightly raked through his hair and along his head. He flipped you onto your back in a swift move you didn’t see coming as he laid you along the couch. His lips were against your ear as he held himself up above you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that, don’t you?” he asked sincerely.

“Mhm,” you nodded. “I think I’m starting to get that, Buck,” you replied quietly, sounding nearly out of breath as you closed your eyes.

“Anything,” he repeated against your skin as he continued kissing every inch of exposed skin he could reach from his position.

“I know. I know you would,” you responded again.

You thought briefly about how stupid both of you were. How fucked up everything had been and how ridiculously you both were acting. But he was right, it did seem to be working for you two. Here you were making out on his couch after having incredible sex and sharing an even more intimate shower together after essentially exploiting your dynamic. And at least you weren’t fighting. In fact, you were sure it would have settled like this one way or another. There’s no defying destiny and at the end of the day, you were soulmates. It may have been dark and mangled and out right fucked at times, but no matter what, you were meant to be together, right?. And now here you found yourself. With Bucky. Just you two. Together. Things weren’t perfect, you didn’t think they’d ever be, but you loved him. And you were tied to him. So you knew it’d have to work out somehow. This could be good. You could heal. You could both heal. You could let this be what it was always meant to be. You were meant to be together and you belonged to one another. Why keep fighting the inevitable? Why make things harder and hurt more when you could just…let yourself let go and trust that Bucky would be there to keep you. To trust that you could trust him. To just let him love you and let yourself love him fully and completely. He couldn’t hurt you again, he wouldn’t. You had to believe that. You had to believe him. It wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses, you were only human. But you knew that despite everything, you were it for Bucky and Bucky was it for you. That was unchangeable. So you stopped trying to change it.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark!bucky #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky x curvy!reader #soft!dark bucky #soft!dark bucky barnes x reader #dark!biker!bucky #soft!dark bucky smut #dark!bucky smut

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angelsdean · 27 days

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wanna preface this by saying if my tone comes across as biting, i did not mean that! especially not to you! i feel ok sending this in bc i agree with your takes on s8/9

anyway lol! maybe a spicy take but…

if we’re blaming dean for kevin’s death, then we’ve gotta blame sam for charlie’s and benny’s, cas for mary and jo and ellen and anna and bobby and sam (s5) and honestly i love you cas but i could probably go on :/

but seriously, i don’t actually *blame* them for these deaths bc while dean/sam/cas’s actions helped create the situations that got each character dead, their actual deaths were on other characters’ choices or even their own (sam, benny). the blame game is just too simple for how complicated spn is. like if you blamed them for every death that occurred after a sequence of events that included their actions, for every death that they were indirectly involved with, it’d just be impossible to count. and that’s just not productive or fair imo yk 🤷‍♀️

yea i definitely get what you're saying. there are a lot of factors playing into things, and chain reaction domino effects that lead from one character making a decision to another character way down the line killing someone. that doesn't necessarily mean the first character is responsible for the death or should be the one that is blamed for it. they couldn't have foreseen how events would transpire. however, i do think, like you said, these situations are more complicated and nuanced. and in some scenarios the "blamed" character did play more of a part in the death of another character. but i don't think in the case of kevin's death dean should be shouldering the blame or responsibility here at all.

like, the stuff with blaming dean for kevin's death feels unfair imo because well, when dean made the choice to let gadreel try to save sam (and sam still !! had to say yes himself!) dean didn't have all the facts. he thought gadreel was ezekiel. he thought this was a friend of cas's that he could trust. he didn't know he was opening the door to someone with ulterior motives, who might try to hurt people he cared about. and secondly, kevin's death was coming, one way or another, because as @aliveboydean says in this post, metatron wanted him dead and wasn't going to stop until he was. so if gadreel hadn't gotten him, metatron very likely would have killed him.

to address another seemingly similar situation where i come away feeling differently: sam and charlie. i have to say i kinda do "blame" sam for charlie's death, because he roped charlie back in. she really would not have been there or been in that situation or been a target for the Stynes had sam not specifically invited her to come help them. and while it seems like charlie and kevin's deaths are comparable, a key distinguishing factor is that one would have been safe had they not been in that specific situation that another character (sam) put them in, while the other always was in danger simply for being who they were. charlie's death is different from kevin's because kevin was always in the line of fire, always had a target on his back by simply being a prophet. so many people wanted to kill him, he wasn't uniquely in danger being around the winchesters. and he wasn't put IN danger solely because of dean's actions. he was always in danger, the whole time. no matter where in the world kevin was, people were going to be out to get him. and i'd argue he was safer in the bunker (and therefore around sam and dean) than anywhere else in the world. dean had no way of knowing gadreel would kill kevin! but charlie was just a regular person who no one cared about killing. if she hadn't been brought in at that time and made a target for the stynes she...most definitely would still be alive.

SO, i think at the very least dean is definitely allowed to blame sam in-world and be pissed at him. (tho sam is obvs still not the one that killed her. but i can understand if dean felt resentment toward him for her death). but. yea i kinda do see sam as more responsible for charlie's death in this case than dean with kevin's because the scenarios and key factors are different. that's what i feel a lot of people don't get when they want to issue blanket statements of who to blame for what and who did worse. there's nuance! and two seemingly similar situations are not always a 1:1 comparison. (this isn't directed at you, just a general sentiment abt fandom)

(and i think a similar situation for cas is mary's death. and i fall somewhere in the middle for him. he knew jack was dangerous at the time. he should've said something. he's still not the one who killed mary though and he couldn't have predicted that outcome)

#anyways thank you for the ask #and while i did kinda disagree a bit there i still mostly agree and get what you're saying #replies #kevin's death #charlie's death #long post

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lunagojo · 1 year

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Gojo Satoru Headcanons

(these are just my personal thoughts, don't mind me ;u;)

Is bisexual (definitely not straight imo, he defs had feelings for Suguru but he also loves women)

Sings loudly in the shower (even if its early in the morning) and always gets soap in his eyes, every. single. time, which leads to him screaming and waking everyone up

Truly loves Megumi like his own son, would do anything to keep him safe

I don't think he's a virgin tbh, like everyone seems to think. I think he's fucked around a lot especially after what happened with Suguru

He's afraid of commitment not because he's a fuckboy but because he's terrified of opening his heart to someone again and losing them (he doesn't think he could handle that again and he HATES feeling weak)

Goes shopping with Nobara all the time and lets her use his credit card

Is actually a gigantic sweetheart once you get to know him better

Yes he will torment you and tease you but it's his way of showing affection :p

Unironically says 'poggers' which pisses off Megumi and embarrasses Yuuji

Sometimes he finds himself wanting someone to see him as a human being and not just the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, he just yearns to be understood again like Suguru did

This is canon but is FIERCELY protective of his students, like will actually choke a bitch if someone even looks at them wrong

Has the prettiest hands, takes really good care of them

Has the strangest taste in music, will be listening to Kyary Pamyu Pamyu at one moment and the next will be listening to Linkin Park >.>

Fidgets when he's bored

Doesn't know how to operate a laundry machine

Can eat an exorbitant amount of sweets and never get sick, his metabolism is insane

Spam calls Nanami all the time and leaves him annoying ass voicemails whenever he doesn't pick up

Comes across as an idiot but is actually incredibly intelligent and good at reading people

Would love all of his simps

MOVING ON TO THE ROMANTIC SHTUFF

I think he would appreciate a partner that's on his same wavelength, like someone who is able to match his energy and silliness, but also to understand him deeply and be patient with him

If you can make him laugh that's bonus points, he finds funny people extremely attractive

I don't think he has a particular preference in terms of appearance, despite everyone thinking he's shallow he actually values personality a helluva lot more than looks

If it's a debate of ass, tits, or thighs, he'd probably say all three

But he does have a weakness for tatas lol

If you put on his blindfold and imitate him jokingly he will propose on the spot

Is an absolute cuddle bug, if he's around you he cannot keep his hands off of you

He is EXTREMELY touch starved, once you touch him gently he will melt

Tried to cook for you once and almost burned the house down, I don't think he can cook very well XD

He will take you out on fancy dates and getaways, but the times he values most is when he just gets to relax at home with you and rest his head on your chest <3

Needs a lot of reassurance that you're not going to leave him early on

WANTS YOU TO SQUISH HIS FACE AND KISS HIM A LOT <3

Since he's so busy he's gone a lot, but he makes sure to Facetime you every day so he can see your face and hear your voice ;n;

The first time he told you he loved you was when he finally explained what happened in his past with Getou

You'd never seen him look so scared or upset but when you embraced him and told him you felt the same he sank into your arms

He doesn't fall in love easily but when he does you're never getting rid of him ;u;

#can you guys tell I love this man so much #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #satoru gojo #gojo satoru #gojo #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #satoru gojo headcanons

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kyber-crystal · 2 years

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okayy but headcanons for reader being part of the top 1% and not knowing how to drive a car?? the crew lovingly teasing them and then a cute date with hangman trying to teach them. pls pls ur headcanons r cute and he’s a sweetie i just know it

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET TO THIS BUT YES. also i'm so so sorry if this isn't what you imagined, my writing has just gone downhill lately lol

hangman loves how you're a woman of many talents. you can fly planes. you're almost unbeatable at darts. slick with pool. can rival him in dogfight football. and you're one of the only people he goes soft for

(lies, he loves everyone. but you in particular? there's almost nothing he won't do for you)

you're set to head out to the beach again and taking one big car

you're asked to drive but then you get into the front seat and just sit there, frozen in place

and that's when the crew puts two and two together and realizes you can't drive

so the next few minutes are spent teasing you (lovingly, of course)

"how are you in the top 1% but don't know how to drive a car?" hangman had asked

you explained how you took your test before leaving for top gun, but failed

and since you didn't have much time to practice you never re-tried it

but it was also because you were highkey scared to

(also you had very faint memories of maverick trying to teach you back @ home. very traumatic. he was gripping the overhead handle for life even though you weren't even on the freeway yet...)

hangman ends up driving, right. and you know when guys do That thing when they drive/reverse? yeah, he does that

and. you're speechless as you watch because you have the greatest view of his arms and side profile from where you're sitting

(like what the fuck nobody ever told you that lieutenant jake seresin had some really, really nice arms.)

phoenix kicks you in the ankle and gives you a look that tells you she sees the look on your face. and your brightened cheeks

it's hilarious

you cannot stop yourself from staring when you get to the beach. he can drive well, he flies well, and he's ripped? a far better 3 in 1 combo than the shampoo you're sure he uses imo

everyone gets into this huge water fight after the game

(and no, it was not rooster's fault for instigating the conflict)

hangman jogs toward you and is all like "hey sweetheart, give me a hug)

and you fall for it

and so you get soaked from head to toe because he's drenched with seawater

but later as you're walking out he notices you're shivering pretty badly

and he feels so bad

so he takes off the brand new shirt he'd changed into and gives it to you

and the mf walks shirtless all the way back to the car it's fucking hilarious

and he's like "let me make it up to you. i'll teach you how to drive. no more traumatic memories from mav, and you get to spend time with your favorite person :)"

the next day he comes knocking at your door...when it's still dark out

you're pissed off and ready to beat the shit out of whoever it was but then you realized it was hangman and you're like. oh. never mind

you want to question why the fuck this man is trying to take you driving at 4 in the morning. but you don't, because he has yours and his best interests in mind. usually.

the sky goes from black to grey as you hit the road and you're shaking

but this time it's most likely because his hand is on your thigh (to steady you, of course. but we all know this lil shit is using it as an excuse to get closer to you. this whole lesson was his excuse to get closer to you, honestly)

hangman is very gentle and surprisingly so good at explaining things. so within minutes you're calm again and driving smoothly

he gives you directions on where to go (keeping his hand on your thigh the whole time ofc lmao)

there was one time where you were pulling up to a traffic light and supposed to slowly hit the brakes. but instead you pressed the accelerator and went shooting forward

if this surprises hangman, he doesn't show it

"sweetheart, i don't know how you mix the two up. let's pray we don't have to pay a fine or something"

and you end up at this nice area with a stunning view of the ocean

he puts out his jacket for you two to sit on and watch the sunrise

"worth the drive, wasn't it" he whispered into your ear and you're like hell the fuck yeah it was

though it was terrifying going on the freeway. even if that was only for a little bit

you drive slower on the way back and you end up being late to one of maverick's training maneuvers

but it's worth it

oh also. you go to the local dmv maybe a month later. hangman lets you borrow his car. you pass with flying colors)

(he had bribed you with a date at your favorite italian restaurant so that was part of your motivation)

(most of it was because of the fact that you could spend more time with him. you'd take any and every chance you got)

when you do pass, hangman has the crew throw you a giant party and it's so funny

but it makes you happy because it shows how much they all cared

:))

you don't get ticketed for that traffic light incident btw. somehow you got lucky that day

tags, including people who might be interested (under the cut):

@walkonthewiidside @sarcastic-sourwolf @totomoshi @sebastianstangirl01 @dilfsandtherapy @purelyfiction @93joons @yeehawnana @lunamoonbby @hazelgirl355 @multifandom-fangirl4 @paintballkid711 @lyn-lc @azari-anna @thelifeofthelifeofme @spawn0fsatan @milestomaverick @teacactusworld @icemansgirl1999 @cherry-waved @newlibrary @ellabellabus07 @criminalyetminimal @whatlovegattado @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @vane28282 @thisismypointofview @organabanks @hufflepuffprincesse @ice-mans-world @burnedbrisket @fangirlinc @marveljunkie45 @knowledgefulbutterfly @levis-butterfingers @minivture @teacactusworld @lunamooncole @skylynch03 @coastingline @chaoticassidy @hbstre @fantasias-creativebubble @mercury-mae @light-the-moon @winteryoungie @aie1840

#top gun #top gun: maverick #top gun fic #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #hangman fic #hangman seresin #top gun fanfic #glen powell #hangman x you #top gun maverick fanfiction #jake seresin x you

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keep-on-trying · 1 month

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Alright, my mobile data allowed me to watch WonderPre ep 12 from Crunchyroll without lagging, nice nice!

Couple thoughts on the ep. It seems my mobile data is bad with uploading images so, no images, despite me taking screencaps lol.

The way Satoru reacted to Iroha being happy to see him (because she knows Satoru knows about animals all alike so asking him about Yuki's odd disappearances is perfect!) was really, really cute, but also, the classmates clearly know Satoru has a crush on Iroha because they giggled with Satoru not understanding why lol.

Then, the way Mayu reacts to Iroha saying they're friends. Mayu clearly has some sort of background where either she's been unable to make friends with anyone before, or whenever she's made friends in the past they ended up backstabbing her or smth. I just know I kind of relate to her reaction here? She feels genuine happiness at Iroha being her friend. She even acknowledges her reaction to it is a bit odd and tries to act normal to Iroha.

Also, the episode really showcased cats well imo. They're elusive, able to do all kinds of tricks to get where they want (be it outside or hidden rooms or just out of a room lol), and well, can either be loving or very, well, "staring into your soul because not entirely happy". Yuki mostly seemed low-key pissed in today's ep lol.

Then the scene where Mayu rushed off after Iroha and Komugi because the girls really didn't realise they should have told Mayu to stay put and wait in peace because oh my god she got attacked by Garugaru and was shown to be in genuine horrified fear and my god the animators did an excellent job at that scene! Then Yuki- ahem, mystery Cure comes to save her and only utters same words as the blonde girl last ep did: You mustn't get involved. Yuki cares about Mayu so much fellas-.

Ahem. We also see that right now, Yuki is fighting Garugarus like a traditional Precure would. Physical fighting. It would seem she doesn't consider Garugaru to be corrupted beings, as well, no one has told her so. She thinks they need to be dealt with no matter what. It's only after Cure Friendy goes in front of the Garugaru that she stops attacking. Because Friendy knows it's a corrupted animal. That they don't deserve to be attacked for being corrupted, that deep down they're gentle animals deserving to be rescued. Nyammy's reaction to that says enough. She starts feeling conflicted about that, for sure. We'll see if she starts struggling next ep or whether she's not convinced about the change of battle style to chasing style yet. I guess she'd need to learn more from Friendy and Wonderful. Because those two have been told all the necessary info. While Nyammy is all alone, fighting Garugarus to make sure no harm can come Mayu's way. She's such a loving cat y'all-

So like, considering this ep pretty much aligns with my thoughts on the chasing scene decision and all, I'm quite curious of how things will develop. it is entirely possible the fighting scenes return later with a proper, perfectly reasonable way. Like the big bad wolf that's been teased couple times not being a corrupted being but actual, genuine bad fella who needs to be taught a lesson.

But yeh. For viewers it's clear who Nyammy is, but for the cast it's not yet. I am totally looking forward to seeing how Mayu's precure status comes to play, and how Nyammy ends up joining Wonderful and Friendy. Gosh this series has me hooked so well so far.

#aleira watches wonderpre #precure #pretty cure #wonderful precure #wonderpre spoilers #wan12 #discussions #oh for some reason tumblr logged me out mid-writing this wtf man

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stupidrant · 9 months

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RANT INCOMING!

I have to talk abt this as this has been in my mind for months and this i think is the only safe space to talk abt the fandom and their weird antics towards the characters/actors and overall games.Im not against criticism but theres a line between criticizing and going overboard with hating.

One thing i dont understand abt the god of war fandom is that they complain about alot of things not being “accurate” and thats doesnt make sense to me bc when has gow ever been accurate? I thought it was obvious from the beginning that SMS wasnt going for that and never truly will. Its always their own interpretation. They also have this weird hatred / ignorance towards atreus that i also dont understand? Yea he was a little annoying in the first game but thats understandable as hes… a kid. Ragnarok expanded his character pretty well imo and i feel like alot of these people for some reason cannot get past him in general? Maybe because they are afraid of him taking over the series and “forgetting” kratos (idk why thats in their minds LOL) or they just hate him just because. I feel like the fandom wants kratos to forever be this god who destroys things and whatnot and its all so weird. like they never gave him a chance. thankfully he has fans but majority hates him. Dont even get me started on how they treat angrboda. Its really so ridiculous to me that they can be so hateful for no true reason. they call her a bitch for yelling at atreus when all the women in the game get annoyed or disappointed in him atleast once. And they dont understand that she has only known this prophecy shit for her whole life and she couldnt do anything outside bc of the threat. ofc shes angry bro LOLL its also in her name like i dont understand 😭. Atreus helps her get out of that mindset and assures her she can do whatever she wants now. Laya is so strong idk how she does it :( I also noticed they treat thrud as this “replacement” of angrboda bc they dont like her either cuz shes black or bc they hate her and everything related to atreus but as long as he has a character they can like thats not angrboda its fine. Its all so weird bc theres no competition between the two. There never was. I dont think they actually like thrud for her character they just want to be weirdos and i feel kinda bad for her and mina bc they really dont give a fuck. Im so shocked chris sunny and others even INTERACT with this bullshit of a fandom they are all really strong bc id say fuck all of you and go 😭 im not against criticism at all and i try not to take this shit seriously but its hard when you see a insane group of people take alot of this shit to the next level. this fandom is a bunch of whiny babies who hold onto their precious destroyer too much. The hate everyone has gotten recently is just so stupid and they often times try to make it their goal to hate. I see that SMS is trying to diverge their fandom to a broader audience and they are taking a bit more risks esp with atreus and i love that despite the backlash against him, they continued with his character regardless. I hope they do the same thing with the other characters as well and expand them no matter how much these people want to hate and act all high and mighty. I can understand certain critiques like the ending being too fast or maybe they couldve done blah blah better and whatnot but i think alot of people are overreacting and being ridiculously nitpicky with alot of things when it comes to ragnarok.

Last thing and also kinda random thing SMS is very wrong for what they did to TC Carson and i acknowledge that completely and i hope they never do smth like that to any of the current cast either bc i would be fucking pissed if so LOL

#God of war #god of war fandom #Gow #kratos #Atreus #angrboda #freya #thrud #thor #sif #yall are some fucking assholes #fandom #bullshit #gowr #god of war ragnarok #my stuff #shitdom #(this my future self in 2024 commenting btw) you can tell i was pent up LOLLLL but i had to say this somewhere

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idkwhatimdoingbutrandom · 22 days

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CIRCLE SEASON SIX EPISODE FOIVEEEE SORRY IM LATE

I can not BELIEVE it took us so long to get to the first blocking of the season

I really feel like no one can fully blame Myles for suspecting Steffi because basically everyone was and for somewhat good reason? Except all of the reasons were based on the misinterpretation of AI lmao

Myles seems really nice

Lauren really talks like she knows she on camera, which makes sense considering she is (or was?) a streamer. Everyone else kinda talks like they’re just talking to themselves.

You can TELL Steffi was pissed during her convo with Myles and ykw… I would be too lmao.

There is NO WAY production doesn’t tell people what to say in their goodbye messages. I’ve thought this for a while, but it is SO obvious this season with Steffi and was super obvious last season.

I love Brandon

Caress is SO BAD at this game LMAO

Cassie is so silly lol

Omg they’re revealing Max. I hate that they made him so nice. I didn’t think they’d reveal him right away. I personally prefer the Spice Girls twist because that season… SOOO GOOD. The AI twist is just boring in comparison.

No one guessed it was Max so if anyone puts a target on Myles’ back, that’s freaking stupid.

… sorry Lauren :(

Myles is a good chatter. One of the best at the game so far.

Ok Cassie’s #BlondeMoment message was NOT that serious. It seemed VERY jokey to me. She’s ALSO blonde???

Someone SHOOT ME I JUST SPOILEDDDD IT GOING INTO THE TAG IM GONNA THROW UP

I WISHHHH Brandon got to go in as himself :(((((( he would’ve done so much BETTER

Cassie DID NOT come for Myles, it was NOT that serious???? I really don’t understand this one. I felt like she was just adding on to the “hurdur AI engineer” joke?

I’m tired of all the “let’s make an alliance/who should I have an alliance with” convos. Can we play a game. This used to be fun. I completely understand that it makes complete sense strategically, but let me at least pretend that everyone is forming real friendships lmao

The games are NOT as slick as the past seasons. Like come on… “poor-traits”… at least let people CHOOSE to be shady.

Some of these pairings are just SO OBVIOUS for this portait thing

QT IS SO DAMN PRETTY and very good at this game.

Cassie PLEASE make another alliance.

HOW can Myles say he meant the snake portrait as a joke when he couldn’t take the BlondeMoment as a joke??? And then started to tell QT about hoe Cassie is this sneaky, lying person? Line hello???

MYLES ACTUALLY REVEALED HE DID IT??? MYLES YOUR GAME!!! WHAT ABOUT YOUR GAME???? IT WAS ANON FOR A REASON. At least he’s being gracious about it… interesting 🤔

Cassie should’ve ACTED like she forgave him and then started chatting smack about him with people who don’t already have a little alliance with Myles. Not forgiving him is bad for her game too, imo.

MYLES don’t trauma dump to us trauma dump to the circle for your game gang 🙏🏾 what ever happened to “what would you do with the money” manipulation LMAO

QT is GOOOOD at this. Like this isn’t just a conversation about making an alliance, but it’s her GENUINELY MANIPULATING THE GAME!!!! GOOD JOB GIRL!!!! She didn’t have to say the “let’s make an alliance” thing, she could’ve left it there and she would’ve done good. But I understand the need for assurance.

#A LOT OF THOUGHTS #Best episode so far this season imo !!!!!#The circle #the circle netflix #the circle s6

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jayteacups · 8 months

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Okay so this is the last I’m going to say on my opinion on this recent discourse for now (probably) but for people who don’t know what’s happening (because I certainly didn’t and thought someone was shitting on x reader as a whole instead of what actually happened): Someone on Tumblr made a post complaining about certain x reader fics, and essentially pissing on reader insert that are apparently too specific to enjoy (by this they meant readers with a personality and/or background etc.) Specifically what they said was along the lines of: if a reader insert is too specific and not relatable, it is no longer an x reader. Because apparently the moment a character differs in some way from you, you can no longer enjoy the story and it has no more merit. 🙄 Never mind the fact that it is impossible to create a reader that encompasses the entire human population. Kind of a fucking tall order if you ask me, or literally any other x reader fic writer, but they clearly didn’t, so here we are. :///

They also claimed that writing more fleshed out readers with backstories and personalities is essentially tricking people into reading canon x OC fics (personally I did not like their tone with that because canon x OC already gets a lot of shit from other parts of fandom but that might just be me) and that more ambiguous/vague (aka personality-less blobs) readers are more popular and therefore implying they are inherently better. Nothing wrong with those who read and write these types of reader characters, but to imply that it is better is just… wrong lol. That person also pointed out that these types of readers are more present in short form content, which imo is the actual reason these posts do better on Tumblr because this app just favours shorter form stand-alone works. They completely ignore that AO3 has a lot more long form reader fics, many of which are very popular, and that readers in these longer stories need a personality and backstory and character arc, otherwise it’s just not going to work.

They also beg people to tag and warn their content properly (aka if the reader is POC coded or white coded, whether or not reader is fem or gender neutral etc) - which, okay, fair enough. I myself am not white so I get that particular frustration, but it’s incredibly hypocritical of them when this person misused the tags themself by obnoxiously tagging a shitload of fandoms and characters x reader tags to boost their unwarranted criticism. They clearly just wanted attention (which they certainly fucking got because they got so much backlash that they backtracked, removed the x reader tags and then edited their post a bunch of times and I don’t buy that they feel sorry because they still seem super defensive), it was never about curating their own experience, let’s be real 🙄

I also saw a point they made about fics being subject to criticism because it’s available to the public and being consumed by readers etc. etc. I’ve already talked a bunch about this and why that take is utter shit so I’m not doing it again. And then later they turn around in one of their addendums to the post and say that they don’t like entitled readers, which, ha. Yeah, okay. Sure, the entitled reader doesn’t like entitled readers. I actually laughed at that one.

Even though I myself didn’t see the post at first or witness the fallout in the first few hours, it’s still really disheartening to see really dumb discourse like this because if OP took one minute to utilise utilise the very important organ between their ears and employ something called ‘empathy’ to see from a writers perspective, we wouldn’t be here. But again, they didn’t, and so here we are.

#tw discourse #jayteacups rambles

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rescue-ram · 2 months

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Trapper: 2, 6, 12, 23

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Augh... Okay, so something I like about all iterations of Trapper is that he is not always saying what he's feeling- he's often holding something back, but you can tell, and you want to find out. I think the Doylist explanation for that in the TV show is Wayne Rogers doing a lot of acting without a lot of lines lol, but whatever little story he's making up in his head for "what's my motivation" legitimately comes through at multiple key points IMO!

Like for example of what I mean, I love his first and last scenes in the movie- there's this hidden delight when he recognizes Hawkeye that shows he recognized him but doesn't want to say anything, and then at the end his words are pissed off but you csn tell he's sad- even though he's physically restrained in both scenes there's a lot of emotion. And in the show, I looooove the little facial journeys Wayne takes Trapper on that really heighten his reactions or line delivery. I love the contrast between his rough edges and sarcasm and his gentleness and willingness to do the right thing when he can. He's my baby boyyy.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

🤔 I honestly feel like we have a similar sense of humor. IDK how to put it into words but I relate strongly to his vibe.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

So many kcjckc. Plus I feel like I've incorporated most of them into a fic at one point or another kxkcn.

STRONGLY believe he's a middle child from a poor Irish Catholic family

I like the idea that he's a bit of a "best little boy in the world" and from an early age was determined to do whatever he had to to get out of the neighborhood. I think he worked hard and excelled at school and sports and got lucky with scholarships, and doesn't actually get along very well with his brothers because they think he thinks he's better than them (and secretly he does just a little bit.)

I think his dad died when he was very young and he doesn't have many fond memories of him because he never talks about him.

I think in civilian life he hasn't actually been cool since he was 21, but he knows how to play act that role and gets a kick out of getting to be cool again in camp

Absolutely baseless headcanon but I think he's a total radiohead and stereophile. Loves jazz and blues, and loves rock n roll when that genre emerges.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

ME TRYING TO PIC JUST ONE (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)