#but this book was fucking terrifying
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the hollow places by t kingfisher was fucking terrifying
#i read kingfisher first through their fantasy books (the clocktaur series is one of my favorite books ever written)#and ive read a LOT of their books now#so their writing style feels comforting almost#and i read a house with good bones a couple weeks ago and it was great#but this book was fucking terrifying#very very well written but i am going to have trouble sleeping in the coming weeks#some horror books are fun bc the fear is separate from you. like if i read a scifi horror book set in the year 4500 w flying cars etc#the fear is still there but it is separate from me#the idea that i could knock a hole into drywall and have such horrible terrible awful things happen is. god it makes me nauseous#if you've ever heard of the backrooms its a little bit like that. but things move in your vision#and they're in the 6th dimension or whatever so you can't see them but they can see you#fucking hell. what a terrifying book#i just finished it and am sitting alone in a dark room so maybe ill have different thoughts later#but it was so scary that i almost think i didn't enjoy it#like. if i read slower i might've had a panic attack lol#what a terrifying but phenomenal piece of writing. god i love t kingfisher SO MUCH
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"you think you had to ask?"
"just making sure."
#what if i lost it right fucking now#imagine this as a parallel but in som when annabeth wants to hear the sirens#they are THE percy and annabeth ever#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#me knowing the entire book series like the back of my hand: lmao yeah he's gonna be fine#also me: was actually terrified for percy and in tears during this scene
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hey remember that caramel-carmel Fake Script i was writing? yeah it's technically not done but i'm tired of tinkering with it so here it is! we'll just say it's a uhhhh uncovered partial script or somethin
this is not in any way official! it's a 100% unaffiliated fanwork & i am Just Fucking Around for Funsies
~
BARNABY: oh, I love carmul!
FRANK: [long, disgusted pause] …what?
BARNABY: Carmul! You know, those tasty little treats you’re holdin’!
FRANK: You mean caramel?
BARNABY: That’s what I said.
FRANK: [scoffs] No, you didn’t. You said carmul.
BARNABY: We’re sayin’ the same thing here.
FRANK: We absolutely are not!
JULIE: [giggles] You really aren’t.
BARNABY: Carmul, caramel, tomato, tomahto! What does it matter!
FRANK: [flustered, stammering] It - it matters! Julie, you agree with me, don’t you?
JULIE: Well… I don’t know, Frank! I think both are fun!
FRANK: You’re both wrong, then! Wally, you agree with me, don’t you?
WALLY: [hesitant] …I say carmul.
FRANK: No! Not you too! How could you poison him like this, Barnaby?
BARNABY: Don’t look at me! I’m innocent, honest!
FRANK: Ha! So you admit that carmul is the wrong pronunciation!
BARNABY: [groans] ah, geez… throw a dog a bone!
FRANK: I’d be delighted to if you’d just-
[distant yelp as Eddie trips off-screen]
FRANK: Eddie! Thank goodness, finally someone who can put an end to this debate!
EDDIE: [nervous laugh] Oh no, what did I stumble into this time?
BARNABY: Hold on a tic, Frank. Hey Ed, take this. What do you call that tasty treat?
EDDIE: [with a tinge of fear] A… caramel?
FRANK: [triumphant] a-HA!
SALLY: [approaching] Did someone mention carmul?
FRANK: AGH!
BARNABY: [delighted] Perfect timing, Sally!
SALLY: What, for a delicious morsel? Hand it over, thank you!
FRANK: You’re all wrong, and I’ll prove it! We’re going to go around the neighborhood and - wait. [under his breath] One two three four - [returns to normal volume] we’re taking this to Poppy’s!
BARNABY: Then Home, then Howdy, yeah yeah - might as well ask the daisies, too.
JULIE: Oooh, and the butterflies!
SALLY: While we’re at it, we should phone everyone in the book, just to get the widest audience input.
FRANK: [unamused] You all think you’re so funny.
EDDIE: Well, you gotta admit it’s… it’s…
[brief, tense pause. Eddie clears his throat]
EDDIE: It’s perfectly sensible!
[Frank makes an affronted noise]
FRANK: Poppy will see sense.
-
POPPY: I’d be delighted to have a cah-mehl, but I’m afraid it-
FRANK: [aghast, truly astonished] You’re joking. You have to be joking. CAH-MEHL? Does no one in this town have sense?! Besides Eddie, of course. And Julie - on a technicality.
EDDIE: [oddly pleased] Why thank you.
POPPY: My goodness, did- did I say it wrong?
BARNABY: [gleeful] Not in the least, Pops!
SALLY: As far as I’m concerned, you added an extra layer of… pizazz to the word. In fact, I may adjust my own pronunciation accordingly!
POPPY: [flustered] Oh, well, I didn’t - don’t change on my account -
SALLY: Take the compliment, Poppy.
POPPY: [meekly] Thank you.
[Sally wanders from the group, practicing the slightly adjusted pronunciation]
WALLY: I’m not sure I understand. What’s wrong with carmul or… care… mul… carmel…
POPPY: Don’t strain yourself dear, you’ll get a migraine.
FRANK: What’s wrong is that it’s ENTIRELY incorrect! It! Is! Pronounced! Caramel!
JULIE: Aww, Frank, I’m sure Home and Howdy will agree with us! Team Caramel, WOOO!
BARNABY: [barely restrained disbelief] Boy, won’t they!
POPPY: I’m not sure what the fuss is about… there isn’t much of a difference, is there?
[Frank makes a high pitched, frustrated noise and stomps off. He can be heard calling Home’s name in the background]
JULIE: Oop, there he goes!
POPPY: Oh - oh dear. I didn’t mean to rile him up.
BARNABY: Don’t twist your beak about it - Frank’s just bein’ Frank. Now if you’ll excuse us, I wanna see how it goes with Home.
WALLY: [quietly, thoughtful] But Home doesn’t talk like us…
POPPY: If you’re sure… Do let me know how it goes.
SALLY: [swaying back to the group] I’ll phone you post-haste! Or even better, I can come by for one of your delicious muffins and regale you with the whole escapade, in detail.
POPPY: [audibly pleased] That sounds - well that sounds like a wonderful idea! I have some fresh from this morning-
BARNABY: Sounds great! See you around, Poppy.
-
FRANK: Home, I have an important question to ask you. Is the correct pronunciation for this candy ‘carmul’, or ‘caramel’? One creak for caramel, two for the incorrect carmul.
BARNABY: Talk about a bias…
[Home stays silent. Sally yawns.]
FRANK: One creak for caramel, two-
[Home slowly shuts their curtains]
FRANK: Hmph! The nerve… well, I suppose a house that can’t speak shouldn’t have a say, anyway.
WALLY: Home can speak. He just does it differently.
BARNABY: And I’m pretty sure they just agreed with me, Walls, an’ Sally.
JULIE: They did not!
BARNABY: Looked like it to me!
SALLY: I have to agree with Julie. Home just declared itself a neutral party, and so the vote can’t be counted either way. On to Howardson!
JULIE: Yes! Howdy! Our last hope!
FRANK: He may have terrible taste in company, but he’s a sensible businessman. Poppy and Home have let me-
JULIE: Us!
FRANK: -us down, but surely Howdy will back us up.
BARNABY: [faux-serious tone, knows something they don’t] Absolutely. Without a doubt.
-
[store bell chimes]
HOWDY: Howdy-do - [brief pause, a tinge of surprise] everyone! My my, what brings the entire neighborhood to my bountiful bodega? Finally decided to clean me out for good?
BARNABY: [snorts] With how fast you restock? I think I’d break my funnybone!
FRANK: We have important business.
HOWDY: [mildly curious] Do we? That’s news to me! But I’m letting you know now that I don’t deal in bugs, Frankly. It’d be hypocritical.
FRANK: Believe me, I wish I were here to talk insects. Unfortunately, I need to settle a score. Mr. Dear, if you would?
EDDIE: If I would what?
SALLY: [stage-whisper] Barnabello gave you the, ah, parcel earlier?
EDDIE: The…? Oh! Oh, right - I have it right here, just… give me a second… which pocket…? There we go.
[sound of a small, hard candy placed on the countertop]
HOWDY: A carmul all for me? You shouldn’t have! No, really, you shouldn’t have. I’m on the clock.
BARNABY: [loud bark of laughter] I knew I could count on you, pal! So what’s the tally, Frankie?
[Frank mutters something inaudible]
BARNABY: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of me bein’ right!
FRANK: [explosive] You’re all wrong! The correct pronunciation is caramel, CARAMEL! You’re all - you’re all just - heathens! Heathens, I say! I’m taking my company elsewhere!
EDDIE: Mr. Frankly…
JULIE: [overlapping, following] Aw, c’mon Frank!
[the door jingles. Julie and Frank’s hushed arguing in the doorway underlies the dialogue]
HOWDY: It sounds like I missed quite the context! Mind filling me in?
BARNABY: That was pretty much it; a real potato potahto argument.
HOWDY: If you say so, Barn. Speaking of potahtos-
[the background argument abruptly cuts off, the door jingles again as it's closed]
FRANK: [rapidly rejoining the group] Hold it! You don’t really say potahto, do you?
BARNABY: [under breath] Here we go again…
SALLY: [deeply amused] Where on Earth did you pick up such a butchered pronunciation? I must have missed the sign on my tour down from the heavens.
EDDIE: [baffled, underlying the dialogue] I’ve never heard anyone say it that way.
JULIE: Oh! Is it a joke? Like, Barnaby says potato-potahto, and then you jokingly say potahto to make us laugh?
HOWDY: It’s not a joke. That’s how it’s said.
FRANK: [genuinely disturbed] No - no one says that. It’s potato.
HOWDY: Well I say potahto, thank you very much! And if you ever want one from my store again, you’d do well to accept that.
[Various grumbles of reluctant acceptance]
HOWDY: Good. Now, can I get any of you a refreshing drink after such a squall? You must be parched!
WALLY: I wouldn’t mind a glass of mulk.
[Horrified silence. A pin drop would be deafening]
[Sudden uproarious and overlapping argument]
#consider this a low budget dollar store fanfic#didnt want to write an actual fic so Just The Dialogue Works Fine#anyway ive never tried to write a script-adjacent Anything so have mercy on me#i dont know what im doing ever! im having fun anyways!#and for the record! im team carmul#well all pronunciations are valid in my book but i say carmul#always have always will dont know why dont know how#my parents tried to make me say it 'caramel' growing up and uhhh No <3#its fuckin carmul to me. To Me.#i dont say potahto tho. who the fuck does that who isnt a 50s mob boss in jersey#if a 50s mob boss in jersey is reading this: you'll never catch me alive#absolutely unprompted#welcome home#hmmm i should have a writing tag at this point#yk what ill just reuse - wait no i cant reuse the one from my dc sideblog#oh fuck it we'll stay on theme#snippets from the bog#yeah this little writing thing has been in my docs for like.#checking my nonexistent watch here. mmmmmmdont know. a while#and im slightly terrified to post!#its one thing posting art - posting any sort of writing is like breaking your ribs open with a crab cracker#and saying Hi! Have A Taste! I Hope My Viscera Isn't Completely Disgusting!#my god i hope they're at least acceptably in character. im trying im trying#i hope this gives someone a laugh!#or at least a hearty Chortle#or... blowing air through your nose in amusement. yes
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AND THIS GUY MIGHT NOT EVEN BE OUR COLLECTOR ,MY BOY WAS FRAMED
#IN THE PAINTINGS TEYRE LIKE SUPER FUCKING TSLL COMPARED TO BABY COLLECTOR#AND BABY COLLECTOR ONLY WANTS TO MAKR FRIENDS AND PLAY. LITERALLY REJECTS THE PART IN THE BOOK WHERE COLLECTORS HAVE TO. COLLECT#AND BABY COLLECTORS SHADOW FORM WAS THE ONLY THING THAT COULD TECHNICALLY BE COUNTED AS TALL. BUT THATS BC THATS A SHADOW#BRB SCREAMING#COLLECTOR SWEETIE IM SO SORRY WE TALKED MAD SHIT ABOUT YOU OMG#YOURE STILL FUCKING APESHIT TERRIFYING BUT IM SORRY YORE JUST A LITTLE GUY#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers#for the future spoilers#for the future#toh collector#toh#the owl house#yapping
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One of these days Adrian Tchaikovsky is gonna drop a novel about sentient spacefaring leeches and for about 600 pages I'm gonna be forced to care about those bastard creatures and I'm gonna LIKE IT
#children of time#its been a year since i finished that one#and about a week since i finished#children of ruin#now i love octopi#but the huge spiders? the bodysnatching bacteria?#Tchaikovsky has a knack for changing your entire mindset towards a critter at least temporarily#i hear the third book is about corvids and i dread to ask what the secondary sentience is this time#These of We fucked me up SEVERELY#Frankly I'll be avoiding CoM for a while cuz i dont wanna spend time with a character whose sentence is in part the These Of We#FUCK those guys#kudos to Tchaikovsky the These Of We are terrifying#but also FUCK THEM SO HARD THEY'RE TERRIFYING#adrian tchaikovsky#science fiction#books#jess talks
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Woke up from a comma with the dream induced mess that was Monster High but instead of being like all the characters based of the movie adaptations, it's just the monsters from the books
So, the Creature is crying the entire time because no one wants to be his friend
There's like way too many vampires, and Dracula is definitely a fuck boy; and somehow gets away with that because he's popular
Jekyll is at the school counselor because dude keeps having intrusive thoughts and is constantly on the verge of a breakdown (aka accidentally trampling people just because)
Hyde are said intrusive thoughts, and he's seen as
A. A weird Kid
And
B. The oddly quiet kid SOMETIMES, before shifting and not shutting the fuck up
Victor and West are all also there, they just applied via scholarships; Henry and Cain got there too, thanks to the other two getting a 'human' plus one, because the school wants some more "diversity" and thinks accepting a few more humans could do that
Might draw this, idk, sleep comma has ideas sometimes
#frankenstein#victor frankenstein#gothic lit#gothic literature#classic literature#classic lit#mary shelley#the modern prometheus#clervalstein#jekyll and hyde#the strange case of jekyll and hyde#Edward hyde#Henry Jekyll#Henry Clerval#Herbert West#Daniel Cain#Ik Daniel isn't a real character from the short story#The Re-Animator movies are the only time i prefer movies to books#Herbert is movie Herbert but idk#blonde short story Herbert is terrifying#the creature#Dracula#count Dracula#bram stokers dracula#Re-Animator#The Vampyre#He's also a fuck boy#Carmilla#Carmilla novel#Monster high
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okay so. i’m stopping here for today because the next chapter literally makes me feel insane and i need to be clear headed to enjoy it but remember how harry and luna could hear voices through the veil when they were close? sirius probably heard voices too, didn’t he? “it took an age for him to fall” and his expression was a cross between “fear and surprise” yeah do you think he heard james
#what in the fucking children’s books honestky#i know people say it’s stupid that sirius died by curtain but I actually think it’s one of the most terrifying deaths#like he fell through the veil separating life and death how crazy is that#only sirius would be a league apart in death lmao#sirius black#harry potter#OotP live blog#hp live blog
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all my mutuals are so smart and well read... makes me feel like richard papen lurking behind bookshelves to listen to people way cooler than me translate some of the oldest texts in one of the hardest languages, except its me staring at my mutuals posts about cannibalism, murder, religion, and other taboo topics with the finesse of aged professors in their expert field
#love you guys so much#can and will be complicit in any murders you guys decide to carry out <333 dont worry i wont say a word <333#the secret history#fuck. does that mean i just kinned richard papen (the most boring guy ever)?????????????#honestly tho i related to him sm in that book- literally every other thought he had was one i had before at some point...#terrifying actually </3
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what they don't tell you about ocd is that it is very effective to personify your intrusive thoughts/checking behaviors as the worlds most annoying edgelord middle schooler perched on your shoulder that you have to talk to like a stern parent
#“hahaha what if the pilot light when out and we all died of gas inhalation in the night. wouldn't that be fucked up?”#yes but that probably won't happen given we saw someone shut the gas off. why don't you watch some tv or read a book or something#the thing is I did check but i re-remembered this technique afterwards and it rly is the most effective tool for me#as I just end up annoyed instead of terrified
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could you imagine how good spirit animals would be if it wasn't written as a children's series
#thats the country that is bad and full of bad people that deserve to be mistreated and suffer a horrible disease that is easily curable -#- that the rest of the world has access to because a long time ago they started a war#i feel like bc they were kids books they couldnt really touch on the horrors of war#or how vile The Many were#it could also explore the greencloaks more in the way that they werent good guys. in the slightest#it would have so much more nuance#GOD IMAGINE IMAGINE IMAGINE#IT COULD BE SO SO SO GOOD#i need someone to write the books in a grittier way.#i mean obviously they touched on the fact that these kids were fighting in wars at 11 years old#and that stetriol was justified in rising up#and shane is already a really complex character but we never really got to see the like super gritty side only glimpses in the book of shan#spirit animals books#spirit animals series#and the fucking bile???? thats a terrifying concept that didnt get treated as seriously as it shouldve i think#especially how the fact it can turn regular animals into brutish killing machines was mentioned only once or twice#the amount of proper angst you can explore in the main four as well holy shit
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“If you just do everything you’re supposed to do you’ll eventually end up where you need to be.” Infinity train book 4 you fuck me up so bad still. “You can mess up even if you stand still…” MIN-GI PARK…..
#ITS SOOOOO GOOD…#he’s fucking. just like me for real#GOD. relationships with family and friends and like. I DONT HAVE THE WORDS FOR IT RIGHT NOW#and how like personal problems and biases can effect your relationships#and how little things about someone can build up and bottle up and it’s like you love them and hate them at the same time#and about standing still versus rushing ahead#the weight of expectations. one trying to run away one just trying to do as he’s told#and they both think they knows what’s best. for themselves for each other#rymin is so much more than a ship to me. it’s about complexities and best friendship and knowing someone your whole life#and how extremely fucked up that can be#head in my hands punches the wall explodes#infinity train#book 4#rymin#sunnfish.txt#min gi park is like if hanzawa masato was a lot less eccentric and a lot more angry. same core though#sorry also just like. what a justified anger it is#min gi has molded himself to what his parents want him to be his whole life#he tries and wants to be with Ryan. but it’s so fucking terrifying to him#that amount of change and freedom.#sorry. sorry#okay. I’m going#WAIT. also thinking about the whole. abandonment issues. aaaaauuuuu#rewatching rn and#not even at the art gallery car episode yet but I’m thinking about it. you LEFT me.
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oh my GOD the emails give the book much higher stakes than the movie
In the movie, it's all about their relationship and Alex talks about loving what he's doing in Texas and that's it. In the book, Henry's talking about how much he dislikes being a royal and how fake and manufactured his public persona is, and Alex is talking about getting fired from the campaign because he and Henry are A Thing, and it's all so much more damning for not just them but their whole governments, and I am going to die if/when all this gets leaked
#shimmer's thoughts#rwrb#alex claremont diaz#henry fox mountchristen windsor#henry hanover stuart fox#i'm stressed. this book stresses me the hell out#i like it a lot. fucking terrifying though. might as well label it horror tbh
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I'm sorry, Tony Khan is the actual worst. You have wrestlers on your payroll actively involved in storylines in Japan, but don't mention it at all on AEW television. You let your wrestlers hold NJPW belts hostage. And now you're ripping off the G1, too?
#fuck. off.#this is why as much as I want finlay and the war dogs to fuck with jay#I also don't#because I'm terrified tk will book them like fucking shit#gedo you're my only hope
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i really need to get my act together for this whole writing a book thing so i can quit making eggs all day and instead just write porn for a living
#i know i could do it#deep down i KNOW i am capable#but man#putting yourself out there for ppl who aren’t your internet friends#ahhhhh#fucking awful and terrifying#and don’t even get me started on the whole author influencer thing#why do i need to have a platform to write books#why can’t i just be a little faceless guy forever
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How do you make friends who have the same interests as you? Do you just talk to them? Without feeling the dread of the unknown? Of feeling too pushy or strange?
Can someone explain how this secret art of making friends works?
#i think I'm just feelinh sad for myself tonight#i have work friends but we literally have zero common interests outside work#and they can be kinda racist and not very lgbtq+ friendly#I'm trying to normalise these subjects for them without outright arguing or fighting over certain issues#trust me#you don't want to be in an argument with someone you have to spend 48 hours a week one on one in a small office#showing them funny videos by trans youtubers or poc creators is the safest i can do#god forbid i mention i am ace#i obviously have not met the right person yet#i am exhausted#they are not interested in the same books or shows or other hobbies#they hate cats and I have two#they constantly for on holidays while to have to save to go on one trip yearly#and i have to be smart enough with that or i won't be able to pay the bills#and so fucking alone#and the thought of talking with strangers terrifies me#i want to be normal#and be brave enough to make friends#i should go to therapy maybe because there is clearly something wrong with me here#instead im crying on tumblr#thia is not healthy#but if i don't cry here i will be crying in my bathtub and my cats dont need to see that#sorry for complaining#but maybe it will make me feel better#i will delete it tomorrow#i just need to know that my thoughts are out there for the night
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van helsing giving "not to me not if it's you" towards seward in a situation where literally anybody else would go "it is to me especially if it's you. like ill fucking do it but christ alive". can you imagine. grooming a man for over two weeks as he sits at the bedside of a dying girl with neck punctures losing her blood and then showing him her empty coffin that's suddenly mysteriously full of her beautiful lively week-old corpse as kids with neck punctures start turning up. and then he wakes up from having a good night's sleep while you were out there risking your life and thinks to himself "vampires real? lol. lmao even. obviously he must be mad and possibly did it all himself" id kill him with my bare hands
#bro the funniest thing is that according to the rules of the book everyone involved gets to fucking listen to this shit lmfaooo#imagine being this cringefail in front of your entire polycule#vh deals with seward being seward so the others don't have to. bc he loves him. ofc.#dracula daily#dracula#anyway blah blah seward is the walking embodiment of our own unwillingness to see beyond what we know and understand#wilfully misinterpreting and misunderstanding what we perceive in this case bc the alternative is terrifying#being obtuse as a defense mechanism to hide from terrible truths. etc.#laying claim on sense and rationality to defend your view when logically you're clearly not actually looking at things rationally
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