#but there was a chance to show the nuances with relearning how to live and accept joy for yourself
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desperately need to do a presentation on why the Twelfth Doctors journey perfectly represents the transfem experience
their previous eleventh incarnation being suave and hypersexual (i know moffat is mostly to blame but!) is reminiscent of attempts to fit into heteronormative ideals of masculinity. whilst it is not completely insincere, there are obvious signs this does not fit you as a person, it is acted out of desperate need to being seen. as Vastra put it, eleven wore that face, and subsequently that form of masculinity, to be accepted. on becoming twelve, realising even an "idealised" masculinity does not inherently serve them, they retreated into themselves as a person for self-reflection and trying to understand why they feel so detached from who they are.
the "am i a good man" arc mirrors being closeted and having to present as something not inherently tied to your sense of self, but still wanting to be the best of your perceived gender as any failure could leave you spiralling into self-doubt about simply being like any other "man". you ignore your gender dysphoria/questioning by trying to claim a moralistic view of gendered expression. made even more clear by Twelve rejecting Clara's heroic view of them, establishing that even though they have made efforts to be a "good man", that is just a placeholder for their loss of identity.
Missy appearing as she does, who as a character serves as a parallel to The Doctor on what they could become, and her eventual arc in trying to become good is symbolic of the fear around transition regret that internalised transphobia can create when you are closeted. Missy never gives importance to their fem existence other than nonchalant jokes, rather showing a more free and expressive personality devoid of any frustration. this immediately dismisses the transphobic assumption that trans people are only focused on their gender. also, Missy representing trans femininity is inherently tied to chaos and upsetting the status quo, she is the embodiment of what society considers accepting your womanhood as someone previously labelled masculine. what many others, and The Doctor themselves, saw as a need for attention and senseless disruption is Missy not needing to serve a false version of who they are, that they can now focus on becoming whoever they want to be now without losing energy to performing a gender that society has imposed on you. Missy could never have made the decision to stand with The Doctor if she had not given importance to her own queerness.
it wasn't coincidence with meeting Bill, she was the perfect foil for The Doctor to finally let go of their anxious attachment to masculinity. i would even argue for the majority of s10, The Doctor is largely ambiguous in their gender identity and does not fit into any construction of masculinity or femininity. whilst they still present as something socially labelled as masculine, they do not internalise that gender expression. they are uncaring about and not needing the validity that comes with heteronormativity, and thus is free to finally accept the decision they have to make. as Bill says, it is so hard to let go of The Doctor, and that rings true for twelve themselves. but they begin to realise The Doctor can be anyone. yes, they are tired, it would be so easy to simply rest and not give value to who you can become. but choosing to let go of everything you once were to survive is better than oblivion. it is better to let go, to choose another lifetime where the only person that dies is your falsity, to finally get it right and choose kindness. for yourself and for those who you love. they regenerate, not just into another person, but into someone who (if only tv scripts...) can now move forward.
#can you tell the only thoughts i have are of twelve?#this is why im kind of disappointed with the thirteenth doctors arc#like sure they're allowed dimensions as a character and to have dark moments#but there was a chance to show the nuances with relearning how to live and accept joy for yourself#as someone who has grieved and suffered loss and is detached#i know these themes arent just about transhood but dont you think they fit so beautifully?#this makes me want to bounce off the walls#doctor who#dw#twelfth doctor#peter capaldi#12th doctor#thirteenth doctor#jodie whittaker#13th doctor#long post
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Brucie Wayne has a desperate need to be Like That in every language. it took a while to figure it out even in English, but once he discovered what he wanted, he realized he could pull this off in Yiddish. which was when he decided to branch out.
he started it with Spanish, figuring there was a good chance he'd meet a monolingual Spanish speaker in the US, and then went for Mandarin, Cantonese, Russian, Korean, Bengali for populations closer to home. he can't always be Batman, and sometimes someone needs a bystander's help - but Brucie can always be that person, as long as he sounds like an airhead in every language.
his big opportunity came in the business world, tho. he realized that he could terrify the boards at his Japanese holdings just by talking like, well, it's cobbled together form a handful of Magical Girl shows, but the best adjective he can come up with is sparkly. that's always what he's going for. it helps that exactly the same strangers who most get a kick out of his word choices are the ones that like to post videos of him talking that way. dancing together. drinking just the cutest, sugariest concoction you can find. designing suits for him, too, launching a few careers.
Brucie needs that, so Bruce does it on purpose. Dick doesn't. he was too young when he started learning Japanese, too little exposure to it on the road, and Alfred only figured out the nuances when he did, so he just mimicked Bruce. he can speak Japanese fluently, could since he was a kid, it's just that it takes, well, a little extra thought not to talk that way, when he needs to. Duke is learning from him, and liable to fall into the same trap. neither of them knows it yet.
Steph has the opposite problem. she learned mostly from her neighbor, at a fairly young age, the one who always used to pick up extra groceries for her family, and in exchange Steph would watch her cat, try to stop him from climbing out the window and all. it's just that all the Japanese she taught Steph is, uh, absolutely filthy. Steph didn't learn this until she said something on live TV that got her a few mildly unsettled comments. she doesn't care about the business end of it at all, but she wants to be able to blend in at a party when absolutely necessary. but at least she has an example.
Tim learned Japanese in school, because his parents thought it was the responsible choice of language. Damian knows classroom Japanese, too, because that's the way the League teaches most languages. both of them are annoyed at how bland they sound when they speak, and would rather inject some personality into their idiolect. Tim thinks it's funny. Damian just genuinely likes talking like that; it makes him feel like Hello Kitty's friend. Babs learned in school, too, in college, but she practiced with a friend who really did just talk like that. it's different for her, though, because no one is all that shocked when Babs talks like a girly girl.
Cass is picking up a mix from all of them, which is frustrating, because unless they think about how they're speaking - and only Bruce really does, which is why she learns mostly from him - she can't tell which voice they're using. she'll study with Alfred, sometimes, who learned alongside Bruce and then just never bothered picking up a different voice, because he was too old to relearn it. but once they go out in public, she relaxes, because in front of the cameras they all talk the same way, and she can sound just like the rest of them for once.
except for Jason. he only started learning from Bruce and never got a chance to finish. his fluency followed accidentally in the course of holding his own in debates while he was training across the world, which means the other half of his idiolect was at the hands of the Yakuza. only half tho. so, uh, he sounds weird.
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When The Lake Thawed Out: Chapter 2
Summary: In 1993, a young man goes missing near a lake in his hometown; the town heartbroken and having lost a spark in their lives. Now, after 30 years of unanswered questions, he comes home in one of the most intense heatwaves to ever hit the town of Little Franconia, seeing that things are the same and different. In this tale of discovery and family, watch as Joshua relearns the world around him and adjusts to the nuances of pop culture, technology, and generational rot.
Writer's Whining: I had to revise this multiple times because of the intensity of one particular scene. I didn't want it to take away from Josh's story, but at the same time, I wanted it to be one of the crucial parts of the story happening.
Warning(s): Not present in this chapter
Word Count: 2656
@List: @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @theintelligenceoflove @asparrowofthedawn @obetrolncocktails, @fallonfatality, @wetkleenex-gvf, @takenbythemadness, @heatsaboves, @joshym, @freyjalw, @gvf23 @basiccortez
Jamie was dressed and ready to go, waiting on Samuel next. He wore a Nirvana shirt, some black jeans with rips on his knees, and sneakers to complete the outfit. He was in the living room, or what was supposed to be the living room. There was just a wooden coffee table with worn-out marks as if someone had sat there for hours. Jamie looked at his phone and sighed, aggravated to see that time was passing by. "Samuel, come on!"
The sounds of sneakers scuffing the floor approached Jamie, Sammy coming down the stairs in a tank top and shorts. "Okay, I'm ready."
"What were you doing up there?" Jamie asked, standing up and fixing his shirt, "I wanna see how Franconia has changed."
"Sorry, I was fixing my hair," Sammy said, his brown locks sitting at high volume on his head. "Come on, let's go and see what the town looks like."
"Not so fast!" said a figure from on top of the stairs. The two boys looked up to see their father standing there. He had taken his time walking down the steps, his face contorted with pain. Jamie went to go and help him down, but his father had raised a hand to stop. "You guys are gonna be out on the town today, so let me just remind you both—"
"Oh fuck," Jamie murmured under his breath, rubbing his eyes, "we know the drill already, Dad: make sure our phones are all the way charged, keep location on at all times, and most importantly, stay together."
"Good, now go off into the town, but be back before sunset," he said to the boys.
"Finally," Jamie said, throwing his head back.
The doorbell rang, and the family of three looked at each other, "who could that be?" Jamie asked, heading to the door and looking through the peephole. Jamie chuckled and opened the door. "Daniel Robert Wagner, as I live and breathe!" he exclaimed.
"That's me!" the other male confirmed, arms up. He had pitch-black curly locks resting on his shoulders, sporting a tank top, a plaid yellow button-down, and blue jeans. Jamie had hugged him tight, Danny reciprocating the greeting. "It's so good seeing you guys again!"
"Yeah!" Jamie said, his eyes scanning him up and down, "You working out, Wagner?"
"I dibble and dabble in some workout stuff," Daniel said, flexing his arms and joking about it. He saw Sammy and approached him, hugging him tenderly, "Hey, Sammy," Daniel said sweetly, Sam hugging him just as sweetly.
"Hey Daniel, it's so good to see you," Sammy replied.
Daniel smiled tenderly. "Did you guys get to see the town yet, by any chance?" Daniel asked.
"We were just gonna hop into town and see what's going on," Jamie said, "wait, how did you know we moved back here."
"Sammy told me," Daniel said, "I've been dying to show you guys around, so I thought I should just drop by and say hi."
"Well, I'm happy to see you too, Daniel," Jamie's father said, "you were up to my hip the last time we were all together."
"It's good to see you, Mr. Kiszka," Daniel said formally, shaking his hand.
"Don't be so modest; call me Poppa Jake," Jake said. "Since you and Sammy are in good hands now, I guess there's no need for worry. Still, keep your locations on and phones charged."
"We know, Dad," Jamie said, "I'm twenty-seven years old, for crying out loud," he added.
"Still, now go and have some fun," Jake added.
Daniel and Sam were already heading out, leaving Jamie behind for a second. Jamie looked at his dad and said, "We'll be safe… I promise."
"I know," Jake said, looking at him. Jamie soon left the house, leaving Jake to be by himself. He looked around the house and noticed the boxes there in the living room. "Looks like I'm gonna have to do this by myself then…."
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Little Franconia was a tourist spot for all and home to all. It was an absolute haven for everyone to be who they were and be accepted as they were. It was known for being the world's biggest Christmas store and for its chicken dinners. For the two Kiszkas, it was home.
"Everything looks the same, but I don't recognize these stores," Jamie told the two boys as they all walked down the pebble streets of Franconia.
"What's new here?" Sammy asked. He was shoulder-to-shoulder with Daniel.
"Well, there are some new stores on this street: a record store, an arcade and bar, and some little gift shops," Daniel explained to the boys. "Since you guys are here, you can explore."
"A record store?!" Samuel said in delight, "I wanna see it!"
"Well, come on then," Daniel said, jogging to the store, Samuel and Jamie following behind him. They reached the store, an awning with the name 'Big Dan's Record Store' right on top of it, neon tubing lights decorating it. They entered the store, the bell above the see-through door ringing loudly. An older gentleman had turned around from his counter. He was as tall and lean as Daniel and was his spitting image. "Hey, Dad!"
"Hey, son!" Daniel's father said, "Is that who I think it is?"
"Yep: Jamie and Sammy; they moved back here," Daniel said with a smile.
The older gentleman had walked around the counter and opened his arms, the boys going to hug them. "It's so good to see you boys," he said, rubbing their heads, "especially you, Sammy."
"It's good to see you, too, Mr. Wagner," Sammy said, Daniel rubbing the top of his head.
"Boy, when you visited Danny during the last few summers, he would be so happy, but he'd get into the saddest moods when you went back to Nashville—"
"Dad, stop!" Daniel said, turning red, Sammy chuckling.
"What, it's true!" his father said, still holding the boys tight as if they were his own, "Remember that one summer when he lied and said he wasn't going to be able to visit you, but then he surprised you—"
"Okay!" Daniel exclaimed, pulling Sammy and Jamie away, "that's enough storytelling for now!"
"In speaking of summers…" Mr. Wagner pondered, only to turn somber, "How's your old man?"
"Pop is… he's okay," Jamie said, Sam, being silent in the midst of the conversation.
"Well, tell him I said hi, and please: tell him to call me," Mr. Wagner told Jamie.
"I will," Jamie responded, "tell Mrs. Wagner I said hi!"
With that, the boys departed and headed into town. They explored many new areas they had not been privy to before. They entered the arcade and bar center, where they had a pool table and state-of-the-art video games to play. Jamie was more interested in playing pool, while Danny showed Sammy the virtual reality set installed the month before. After the day, they relaxed at the fountain, Jamie taking pictures of the scenery. Jamie realized that they had two hours left to go before heading back home, to which he had looked up at the two boys talking to one another, knee to knee, as they were reminiscing.
"I'm super hungry; what about you, Sam?" Jamie asked.
"I am starving," Sam said, his hand on his stomach.
"I can take you to a pizza place; I'll treat you guys," Daniel said.
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The three boys sat cozily in the open environment that was the pizzeria. They had their drinks near them and their slices on their plate. Daniel sat in front of Sammy while Sam sat next to Jamie. "So, made any new friends since we've been away?" Sammy asked.
"I've only made one; her name is Rosalyn," Daniel explained, "she works at the record shop, but today is her day off. She's cool, though, super down to earth and the sweetest, but she will kick your ass."
"She sounds cute," Jamie said, chuckling a little, "sounds like you like her."
"No way," Daniel laughed, "besides, she's not my type."
"Don't worry, just woo her, and she's all yours," Jamie joked, Daniel chuckling a little.
After a while, Daniel stretched his back and wiped his mouth, "Alright, you guys, I gotta go to the bathroom; anyone else needs to?"
"I do," Sam said.
"Me too," Jamie said, getting up.
"Oh wait," Daniel protested, "there's only two toilets in the men's room, so me and Sammy will go first and then you." Daniel and Sammy headed to the bathroom, Jamie looking over at the menu to see if he could get dessert with the boys.
The two boys entered the bathroom, greeted by what Daniel exactly stated: two closed bathrooms on either side and a sink right in front of the door. Daniel had gone to wash his hands, not needing to use the bathroom but to clean the oil off his fingers. Meanwhile, Sam leaned his lower back against the edge of the sink, his arms crossed over his torso and a soft smirk painting his long face. Daniel had caught his eyes and doubled took, eyes wide. "What?" Daniel asked, "Do I have sauce on my face?" he checked in the mirror with nothing visible to the eye.
Sammy chuckled. "So… you missed me, huh?" Sam asked.
Daniel had stopped looking at the mirror to give Sam his full attention. "Of course I did," he said, hands a little wet to put through his hair. "I always miss you, Samuel…"
"Why, though?" Sam asked, arms crossed and chin up in a smug fashion.
"Because... you're my best friend," Daniel told him. "I know you and Jamie had it hard growing up, and I knew you liked visiting me and my parents... so I wanted to be someone besides your brother to confide in."
"And you've been an awesome best friend..." Sammy said. He closed in on Daniel and leaned in to give Daniel a silly kiss on the cheek. Daniel froze at the show of affection, his cheeks flushed. The forward male stayed there for a good while before pulling away from Daniel, leaving his cheeks tinted with pink. "And... I missed you, too… so much it would hurt thinking about you…" Sam's eyes began to well up.
Daniel's eyes looked down at Samuel's, eyes wide and mouth agape. The way Sammy's eyes looked — all doelike and heavy — made Daniel break inside. He and Sam had been away from each other before, but something in Samuel's eyes told him there was more of a need for Daniel to be around now than ever. Daniel couldn't stand seeing him hurt like this. He soon pulled Sammy close and hugged him, Sam's face buried within the crook of Daniel's neck, his arms wrapped so tight he could break him in half. "I had no idea…" Daniel said, pulling away and seeing Sam's eyes glistening a bit.
"It's just been so hard," Sam said, taking Daniel's big hands and holding them. "It's just so fucking hard…" Sam threaded his fingertips with Daniel's, the taller male rubbing the back of Sam's hand with his thumb. His tears were falling heavy, the silence interrupted by the drops that fell on the tiled floor.
"Don't cry…" he wiped his tears with his thumb, Sam leaning into his touch. Daniel's hand cupped Sammy's cheeks and rubbed them with his thumbs. "I'll always be here..." The two looked at one another, brown eyes looking deep within each other. The silence between them began to flex like a pulsation. They slowly leaned in, both pairs of eyes studying the other for any hesitation as they were about to close the gap.
As if on cue, Jamie had flung the door to the bathroom open, the boys jumping and separating immediately. "Sorry, I gotta use the bathroom badly," he said before closing the door and unzipping himself.
"We'll leave you to it; we know how pee pee shy you are," Sammy jeered.
"You shut your mouth, you little peon," Jamie snapped back, Daniel chuckling, "but seriously, go… I need to concentrate."
Sam had rolled his eyes and had left, catching Daniel's eye before doing so. Danny chuckled and left the stall, leaving Jamie to his business.
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The three boys were at the crossroads again, Daniel ready to head back to his father and the brothers the same. "It's been fun, you guys; I can't wait to see you again," Daniel told them.
"We can't wait," Jamie said. Sammy played with the hem of his shirt, "you and Danny can get to catch up like old times, too!"
"Yeah," Sammy said, a crooked smile plaster across his lips, Daniel smiling with his eyes. "like old times."
Jamie started to head out, Sam lingering around Daniel momentarily. A silence had befallen the two friends, Sam rubbing his arm. "Guess I'll see you around then," Daniel broke the silence.
"Yeah… and don't be afraid to come over to my house," Sammy said, his hand on Daniel's shoulder. "Please come over…"
"I will," he told Sammy, squeezing his hand. Sam had slowly parted from him, letting go of him.
The boys soon returned home to see the living room completely furnished. Their pictures of them as kids, along with high school diplomas, degrees, and masters. "Oh crap, Dad did this by himself…" Sammy realized, "We should have probably gotten here earlier."
"Sam, it's 5 o'clock; how earlier did he expect us to come home?" Jamie said before looking at everything in the living room. "You think he hooked up the record player?"
"I don't know," Sam said, looking around the living room. He walked to one of their photos, seeing a toddler Jamie holding his baby self. "I'm gonna go upstairs and check up on Dad," Sam said, heading upstairs.
Jake was in his room, placing the last things in his closet. He had on a knee brace to stabilize his knee as he agitated it while moving the boxes around. "There you go," Jake said, placing a picture on a separate stand. It was a picture of his brother, who smiled with joy as he held an award. There were other meaningful things on that stand: an old bracelet with its threading frayed after being worn out, a wooden tambourine with a few jingles jingled out, and a journal with its spine broken.
Sam had knocked on his dad's door, Jake having turned around. "Come in," he said as he had fixed the stand a little better.
Sam entered his room, seeing his father standing there, all tired. "Hey, Dad, how are you?" he asked as he entered the room and sat on his bed.
"You know, tired and all, but I'm good," he said as he looked at his boy, "how was Franconia?"
"It's beautiful," Samuel said, "there's a new record store, Big Dan's; you ever heard of it?"
"Well, I'll be damned, that old man finally got to open his store… took him long enough," Jake said with subtle pride. "How is he?"
"He's good; he says he wants you to call him," Sam said, looking around the room. They say your living space reflects your identity: his father's room was a perfect example. The walls were barren, the shade to the window pulled down with no light coming through. "I'm gonna go settle into my room," he told his dad and spoke.
"Okay," Jake said, laying on his bed and groaning loud as he felt his body adjust to his bed and closed his eyes.
Sam had left to his room, where he had closed the door and had laid in bed. He pulled out his phone and texted Daniel.
SAM: Hey Danny! Thanks for taking us around town!
Within minutes, three dots appeared across his screen, Sammy's mouth curling a smile.
DANNY: Ofc! I can't wait to see you again.
Sammy texted back with a little thumbs up, knowing he would see Daniel soon. He was excited, his head thinking about all the possibilities.
#greta van fleet#jake gvf#jake kiszka#danny wagner#danny gvf#sam gvf#sam kiszka#greta van fleet fanfic#greta van fleet fan fiction#greta van angst#greta van fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#🌸🌸🌸#🧊#josh kiszka#josh gvf
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Star Wars Rebels Rewatch Thoughts and Partial Review
Okay this is going to be a bit long because I have a lot of things I’d like to talk about. When I talk about the characters and standout episodes those are mostly my thoughts. When I talk about seasons as a whole those are more of a review.
I remember first hearing the announcement that rebels was going to be a show, reading the synopsis, and being immediately enthralled and excited. I love Luke, Leia, Han, Chewy, Obi Wan, clone wars Anakin and Ahsoka, but I was really interested in seeing how the empire’s rule would have affected other people and liked the idea of having a survivor of order 66 be part of the main cast. I remember this show fondly because unlike the clone wars, where I got into it in season 3, I got to watch this show all the way through from start to finish in real time. After a rewatch I still hold it in high regard and think that season 1 while not the best was a solid introduction to the characters, their struggles, and the beginnings of a wider rebellion with seasons 2-4 being great.
Characters
Ezra:
Ezra is a character I have conflicting feelings about. In seasons 1 and most of season 2 the show seemed to struggle with what exactly to do with him and force him into every storyline even if the storyline would be better with focus elsewhere. This caused the show to give the rest of the ghost crew very little focus in season 1 and it wasn’t until season 2 that you got actual development and backstory for them. In seasons 3 and 4 this isn’t nearly as big of a problem and there are a lot more episodes dedicated to the rest of the main cast and they all have plotlines and arcs separate from Ezra. He also wasn’t the most interesting and, in my opinion, the least interesting of the main cast until twilight of the apprentice, which made the intense focus on him to be frustrating at times. Once the end of season 2 rolls around they do a much better job with him. Ezra is a character that I found to be by far at his most interesting while interacting with Darth Maul and struggling with the dark side. His struggle with the dark side was over way too quickly in season 3. He’s a character that I could see being a bit similar to Anakin in that his intense fear of being unable to protect his friends and family drives him closer to the dark side and this was shown wonderfully in twilight of the apprentice and steps into shadow. I was disappointed that they didn’t explore it more in depth because it could have been incredible. My only other problem with him in season 3 was how wildly inconsistent how capable he is was portrayed. In some episodes he would really screw up in ways that he should know better by now, like turning his back on a dangerous hostage and getting him and Sabine attacked, or too capable and “wise”, like when they had him “end” the clone wars and get the separatist and republic fighters to see his point of view. That last one bothered me because it took a lot of the nuance and sad pointlessness (because in the end both sides lost and were taken advantage of by the empire) of the clone wars and had Ezra, someone who didn’t even really understand what happened, resolve the conflict. They did take steps back in his development at the beginning of season 4, which I didn’t understand, and made him relearn the lesson “how we fight is what matters”. This is quickly rectified though and I absolutely loved what they did with him from Jedi Night on. His end saving his home world was fitting and I found myself sad to see him go. I’m conflicted on Ezra because I didn’t really like him that much in season 1 and a bit of season 2 and found him to be a lacking main perspective, but really liked what they did with him in seasons 3 and 4. Overall I liked him as a character, but not as the main perspective.
Kanan:
Kanan is who I felt should have been the main character. His journey of finding who he in the midst of tragedy after being forced to cut off a part of himself for so long and having to come to grips with having to face his trauma to do what’s right was fascinating. I liked how he was knighted despite the fact that he was so counter to what the Jedi were during the republic and I felt that was purposeful. Kanan seems to be the template for the new Jedi knight in a way. When Yoda gets around to training Luke he isn’t stuck to the old ways and doesn’t discourage attachment and I think that could have been influenced by Kanan. Kanan throughout rebels opens up more and more to people and suffers greatly, but because of those connections he isn’t tempted to the dark side. Every time he is beaten down it’s his care for others that makes him get up. His blinding and how he learns to connect with others and the world afterwards was one of my favorite parts of the show. He has to learn to see not just the world differently, but the force and everything's connection to it as well. He actually grows to become more pacifistic in a way and learns to better understand the feelings of the people and creatures around him. His relationship with the people around him grow and change as he does especially his relationships with Sabine and Ezra. He grows into a father figure of sorts for them during the course of the show. When his end finally comes he seems at peace with what will happen and dies so that his crew may live and Lothal will have a fighting chance. His death, while I knew it was coming since his introduction, was one of many emotional gut punches of the show and I really cared when he died. Kanan was my favorite character and I loved his growth in the show. I thought overall they did a really good job with Kanan and they seemed to know where they wanted him to go from the beginning. He was always meant to grow as a person and teacher with him finally dying for what he believed in and the family he made.
Hera:
I really liked Hera as a character. I appreciated that her idealism did not equal naïveté. I think those two are too often associated with one another. Having Hera be idealistic and yet have the most realistic outlook of the ghost crew was refreshing. Hera truly believes in the rebel cause and puts everything she has into it. She creates a tunnel vision on fighting for a better future because war is all she has ever known. Hera doesn’t know what to do without a battle to fight and very nearly lets herself be consumed. She even states herself that she is fighting for a better future but has never considered a future for herself beyond the fight. She is pulled back from the brink by Kanan. Kanan and Hera have my favorite relationship of the show because there is actual communication between them. There isn’t any forced drama and you can tell what their relationship is through their actions. In the quiet moments between and after battles. It was devastating to see how Kanan’s death effected her. Shutting herself off from others and even doubting the cause she’s dedicated her whole life to. Hera was always the one encouraging everyone and providing hope when it looked lost, but in this moment she unravels and can’t do either of those things. And this realization that nothing last and that her new family may also be lost like much of her birth family carries through even after she regains her will to fight. When Ezra is going to turn himself over, despite it being what she would do in his place, she begs with him to find another way and it tug at my heartstrings because we know why she’s like this. She was always the pragmatic one that put the mission first and in this moment she was throwing it out the window and acting from her hurt and desperation. In the end even when Ezra turns himself over she does command the forces alongside Sabine and successfully help Ezra free Lothal. I really liked her character and my only real gripe is that I wish they had focused on her more in the earlier seasons. She also has some incredible feats while flying and the things they had her do were really creative. I really liked how capable she was behind the “wheel” and how that was a product of her love of flying and dedication.
Sabine:
Sabine was a character that I was initially very intrigued by. The fact that she was mandalorian and was at one point in the imperial academy were enough to get me interested, but the first two seasons didn’t explore much about her. When the episodes Trials of the Darksaber came around and the bombshells about her hand in Mandalore’s downfall and her family’s betrayal I was left in shock. I really liked these revelations at the time and appreciate them more in hindsight. Everything about her character in the first few seasons makes a lot more sense knowing her past. Horrible weapons don’t have to be created by bad people. Pride and arrogance can blind you and that’s what happened with Sabine, but she chose to own up to her mistakes and try to set things right. That’s what makes her one of our heroes instead of a villain. I really liked the way they handled the exploration of her guilt and determination to do what’s right. The sibling bond that her and Ezra grew to have ended up having some of my favorite moments of the show like when her and Ezra make eye contact in the finale and she distracts Hera for him to go and turn himself over to Thrawn. Overall I like what they did with Sabine, but once again felt like she should have had a bit more focus in the earlier seasons.
Zeb:
Zeb was a big casualty of the shows problems with spreading out the focus. He’s a character that actually got more focus in seasons 1 and 2 than he did in seasons 3 and 4. There was a lot of potential with his character that the show didn’t fully explore like his survivors guilt and his anger toward the empire because of the genocide. Zeb is a survivor of a genocide like Kanan and I think the show should have put an emphasis on their understanding of each other. It’s said but not shown nearly as much as I felt it should have been. I did like the storylines that did put focus on him though especially how he plays off Kallus in the show. From bitter enemies to reluctant allies to friends. And his relationship to Ezra was touching at times like how he hugged Ezra after Kanan’s death. Zeb is a character that I liked, but thought was underused the most out of the main cast.
Chopper:
Chopper was a surprise to me. I expected him to just be the token droid and he seemed like he may be in the first two seasons, but he actually gets a lot of development is seasons 3 and 4. Chopper doesn’t want to be put in a y-wing in the season 3 premiere and in Hera’s Heroes he’s frozen when he sees the y-wing he crashed in during the clone wars. There’s and underlying sadness and trauma there that is made very clear despite not real words being spoken. It’s also very clear that below his tough, cranky exterior he really cares about the members of the ghost crew. When Kanan dies he goes and holds Hera’s hand and makes sure she isn’t alone during this time. I loved this because it shows how close they really are. Hera shuts everyone else out at that time but Chopper. I truly felt by the end that chopper truly was part of the family of the ghost crew not just the token droid.
Kallus:
Kallus started out as a character you loved to hate and cheered when he lost. Kallus was threatening despite being unable to defeat the rebels in seasons 1 and 2. He was giving a good redemption arc that was kick started in the episode “the honorable ones” in season 2 where he is shown compassion by zeb and forced to reevaluate what he thought of the empire when he learns more about the rebels and their compassion for each other. The end of the episode perfectly juxtaposes zeb being found and happily accepted back by the rebels with Kallus returning to the ship with no one noticing he was gone and his poor condition with him sitting on his bed alone and disillusioned. He is finally faced with the reality of the empire’s cold calculation and uncaring nature and the rebels’ caring, fierce protectiveness. In season 3 I found him to be one of, if not the most, interesting character in the show. He had some fantastic episodes that centered around him like The Honorable Ones and Through Imperial Eyes. I really liked his storyline and how his relationship with Zeb became a story of compassion and forgiveness. The idea of breaking free from your programming and risking your life and everything you worked for because you now know what the right thing to do is the heart of Kallus’ journey. Rebels managed to turn a character I wanted to lose into a character I cheered for and was worried about when he was in danger. I wish he was used more in the 4th season when he’s with the rebellion because I think that would have been a fascinating dynamic for the show to explore.
On a side note: One small but telling moment with Kallus was when Thrawn is first introduced and everyone is praising him Kallus instead points out that civilian casualties outnumbered rebel casualties on Thrawn’s last mission and he is told that those numbers were acceptable because he brought the empire victory. Kallus looks displeased for a split second before getting his expression under raps.
Thrawn:
I really liked Thrawn as a villain. His cunning and genius was always intriguing when shown onscreen. I always felt like he was threatening and at times he even seemed unstoppable. Through Imperial Eyes showed a lot more sides of Thrawn than we had previously seen. He was a capable fighter and noticed intricacies within art that lead to him deducing Kallus’ identity as fulcrum. He was easily the best recurring villain of rebels. I never saw Ezra and Thrawn as true adversaries until the final episode of the series. He couldn’t be taken down unless something happened that was beyond his control and, at least I thought, it was implied that the force wanted Ezra to succeed in his mission to free Lothal and rid Thrawn from the rest of the rebel conflict. That the force had influenced the outcome in Ezra’s favor which just goes to show how much of an unstoppable force Thrawn was.
Standout episodes:
“The honorable ones” is a decidedly more nuanced look at soldiers within the empire. “I was… I was only doing my duty. I didn’t ask questions.” This the first serious look into the inner workings of empire soldiers that I had seen up to this point. Kallus’ arc was about overcoming his training, drive, and brainwashing that what he was doing was right. That it was for the betterment of the galaxy and the protection of the empire and its people. He was sent into a battle he believed had to be fought believing that “it wasn’t meant to be a [genocide]”. All I could do was sit there and be amazed that we were actually getting a look into what soldiers must have been told and expected to do and realizing that what was happening around them wasn’t supposed to happen, but there’s no going back. It’s already been done. Having their fellow soldiers killed while on routine patrols just for being empire. Zeb tells Kallus “you can’t judge all Lasats by the actions of one” and Kallus shoots back “well does that apply to the empire too?” and it’s a valid question. The possibility of people being forced into the empire or taken when they are young and trained to believe what the empire tells them without being given a choice or even not truly believing and questioning the empire but being afraid to act out because of the empire’s power are all put onto the table here. As well as it being revealed that the soldiers aren’t given all the information about what the empire is doing and what they plan to do in their conquest. Not everyone within the empire wants to wage war and genocide. Not everyone is beyond redemption. I applaud this episode for daring to go here. It was willing to try and humanize the empire’s soldiers and kickstart one of my personal favorite character arcs of the show. With Kallus’ arc it managed to turn someone who was initially shown to be pretentious, ambitious, and cruel and have him admit to his wrongs, defy his programming, and risk his life and everything he ever worked for to do what he now knew to be right.
“Through imperial eyes” shifted the perspective character to Kallus with a very interesting choice to open with the audience seeing things through his eyes. This episode showed just how good Kallus is at being the rebel spy. He pins the blame on someone else through a series of well thought out actions and uses his observations and skills to evade capture and detection. Neither Kallus or Thrawn are depicted as anything less than cunning. Kallus is only found out by a blunder on Ezra’s part and the fact that Thrawn is a genius. The change in perspective to Kallus was a breath of fresh air. The change is tone and genre from action adventure to a kind of spy thriller works to the show’s favor. This episode showed both Kallus and Thrawn at their best and cemented Kallus as one of the most interesting characters in the entire show.
You can’t talk about standout episodes and not talk about “Jedi Knight”. This episode is probably the one, next to the finale, that I got the most emotional about during my rewatch. When I first watched this episode I remember there was a foreboding feeling throughout that the Ghost crew’s luck would finally run out. The entire episode was tense and despite knowing the outcome on my rewatch I was still on the edge of my seat and hoping the inevitable wouldn’t happen. The Kanan and Hera dynamic is touching and sad. I wanted them to get around to saying what they really meant and when they finally did I was sad because I knew their time together was at a close. I still wish they could have had their happy ending. Kanan seemed so accepting like he knew what was going to happen to him, but was okay because he would go out protecting the people he loves. When Kanan’s death finally happened and the episode quietly faded to white with ashes blowing past the star wars rebels logo I had to sit back once again and let that episode sink in. Kanan was my favorite character and his death impacted me and you could tell in that moment how much the ghost crew was hurting. I really liked this episode and thought it was well done from the music, to the dialogue, to the animation. Kanan’s death scene was one of the most visually stunning of the show and that moment when he regained his sight to see Hera, the woman he loves, one last time is etched in my memory.
“A World Between Worlds” was a really good episode focusing on loss. This whole episode was fantastic and I loved the idea behind the world between worlds. Finally getting closure about what happened to Ahsoka and having the ghost crew especially Ezra and Hera get closure for Kanan’s death were really well done. I especially liked when Ezra was given the chance to save Kanan and he struggles to let go and accept that he can’t save Kanan and the rest of the ghost crew. The struggle to not save his master and surrogate father almost overwhelms him and it is only through Ahsoka’s guidance and his own inner strength that he is finally able to let go and accept kanan’s death. “He’s gone now, isn’t he? I mean, really gone?” This line hit me like a ton of bricks while rewatching because there could be no more denial by the ghost crew (and myself). Kanan’s death was set in stone. This realization happens while looking out at a beautiful view at the temple and Hera has her hand on her shoulder where Kanan’s force ghost had touched her before. Ezra get one last look at the loth wolf Dume on the horizon before he fades from view giving him closure before turning and heading back to the ghost and the future. This last scene with Hera and Ezra staring out into the horizon and then turning back to the ghost after their closure makes me think that this symbolizes them looking back at the past, the good times, and the people they’ve loved and lost and turning back to the ghost is them turning back to the fight and the future instead of letting the past continue to hold them back despite how beautiful the past is and how painful the future and present may be.
Rebels has incredibly strong season openers and finales with the most well known being twilight of the apprentice, but all of them were great.
Spark of the rebellion was a solid beginning to the series and did a good job of introducing us to the ghost crew. While the weakest of the season openers it contains one of my favorite moments of the series when Kanan reveals himself to be a Jedi. That scene still gave me chills upon a rewatch. It was a solid introduction to the ghost crew and gave a glimpse of what was to come.
The finale of the first season was easily the strongest episode of the first season. Kanan’s rescue and fight with the inquisitor were both very exciting. The Inquisitor’s parting words to Kanan “There are some things worse than death” was incredibly foreboding and still gets me excited for what’s to come (even though I know what’s going to happen). I like it when Kanan steps up to the plate and takes out a powerful enemy like the inquisitor and maul. I still really like that the burn Ezra gets on his cheek stays for the rest of the series.
The second season premiere “the siege of Lothal” was an instant game changer and had our characters come face to face with Darth Vader for the first time and had Ahsoka discover his identity as her master. The rebels being driven off Lothal changed everything that was to come. This was where the massive jump in quality between seasons 1 and 2 became apparent. The stakes were immediately ratcheted up. The rebellion was forced to flee and Lothal was thought to be lost. Darth Vader was imposing and it was made very clear that none of the rebels stood a chance against even just Vader let alone the empire.
Twilight of the apprentice had me reeling for a few day after I watched it for the first time. I couldn’t get what had happened and how it had ended out of my head. How would the ghost crew move forward with this? How far to the dark side will Ezra sink? How will Kanan fight now that he is blinded? Was this the end for Ahsoka Tano? The second season finale is some of my favorite Star Wars content period. The long awaited confrontation between Ahsoka and Darth Vader, Maul’s return, Kanan being blinded, and much more. The final lines between Ahsoka and Vader with Ahsoka saying she won’t leave him again and Vader responding with “Then you will die” showing just how far gone he was and that he truly was no longer the caring person Ahsoka once knew, but a bitter empty husk. Everything was phenomenal in this two part finale. I think twilight of the apprentice is in a way comparable to the empire strikes back in that the good guys didn’t really win in the end. Both Maul and Vader lived, kanan is now blind, and nobody knew what happened to Ahsoka with heavy implications that she was dead (later proven wrong). There wasn’t a rebel victory. In a way this finale was truly the beginning of all the trials that would come for both the rebellion and the ghost crew. I still get excited every time I revisit it even knowing how everything pans out. This is the moment that cemented rebels as one of my personal favorite cartoons.
The third season premiere “steps into shadow” was another strong two part opening. Ezra’s struggle with the dark side and Kanan and Ezra reconnecting after Kanan distances himself were series highlights for me. The scene where Kanan tells Ezra to let go and trust him was emotionally resonant and showed that despite Ezra’s anger and frustration on the inside he was still a scared kid that just wanted to do what was right and got in over his head. While Twilight of the Apprentice got me really interested in Ezra as a character and where Dave Filoni wanted him to go these were the episodes that really got me to start liking him, kind of ironically I’ll admit. I do think they should have taken Ezra’s foray into the dark side further, but I’m happy with how they executed it in these two episodes.
The third season finale “Zero Hour” was a thrilling conclusion to the season and saw many things come to fruition. Thrawn was an incredibly threatening and capable villain. His capability and smarts weren’t undermined in his loss because his plan would have worked if his subordinate obeyed and the Bendu wasn’t on Atollon, which are both things Thrawn could not have predicted. He still gets incredibly close to wiping out the rebellion despite both of these and still survives and has the manpower to threaten the rebellion again. It goes to show the rebellion that they aren’t ready for full out war with the empire because they are outnumbered, outmanned, and outgunned with almost no advantages save their unpredictability which can only get them so far. Seeing the rebellion so close to being completely wiped out rattled me. I had forgotten how bleak the fight looked for the rebels and how many casualties had occurred.
The season 4 opener is meant to show a victory after the near destruction of the rebellion that ended last season showing that there is still hope for the rebellion. I really liked seeing Sabine leading with the darksaber and her finally being able to confront her mistake and destroy her creation once and for all. Bo-Katan’s return was exciting. I always enjoy seeing characters from other star wars media appear in rebels. Bo-Katan being the influence Sabine needs to ultimately do the right thing and getting the darksaber afterwards to lead Mandalore felt fitting as someone who has seen the clone wars.
The season 4 finale is once again emotional and tense. It’s incredibly fitting that the ghost crew’s journey together began on Lothal and ends on Lothal. Everything comes full circle and Ezra and the pergil are able to free Lothal and defeat Thrawn, but him and Thrawn are jettisoned away on a star destroyer not to be heard from. The moment where Hera is desperately trying to come up with a plan and Ezra and Sabine just look at each other and nod before she gives him an opening to escape made me emotional on a rewatch and was when I realized how much I loved these characters. The series goes out on a bittersweet note showing the liberation from the empire, but also the losses the ghost crew faced and their trouble moving on from them. It’s filled with both hope and melancholy and is easily the second best episode behind twilight of the apprentice. The lingering shot of the painting of the ghost crew was cathartic and touching. Even after everything that has happened they will always remember each other and never forget their journey that we got to be a part of.
Seasons:
Star wars rebels has a shaky first season, but I do think is was fairly solid. It did a pretty good job of introducing us to the personalities of the members of the ghost crew and established right out of the gate what the show would be about and what to expect. We knew that this would be about the start of the rebellion against the empire and we would get to see the rebellion grow in manpower, resources, and influence. It dropped a lot of hints of what is to come and what has already happened in our character’s past. The first season’s problems mostly stem from their struggle with the main character Ezra and trying to be a lighter toned but serious star wars story. The show didn’t really know what to do with Ezra in the first season and seemed to struggle to find their footing with him. I personally didn’t really like or connect to Ezra until much later in the series, which is a problem considering he’s the main character. The lighter tone was also a problem because it restricted what the show could do greatly considering this show is supposed to chronicle the beginning of the Rebellion that is seen in A New Hope and that period of time was a dark time for the galaxy with the empire ruling tyrannically. When the show went darker like when Kanan was captured and it dealt with loss the show was enjoyable, but there were a lot of light hearted episodes that didn’t seem to push the show forward in this first season that kept it from being better.
There is a massive jump in quality between the first and second seasons. The second season starts off with the introduction of Darth Vader and the Empire's “siege of Lothal”. It does a much better job with the tone and keeps it fairly consistent throughout the season. They also utilize the characters much better with many more of the episodes focusing on characters outside of Ezra and giving them backstory. It introduces a lot of familiar faces, like Rex, that don’t feel forced and that I was really happy to see once again. Kanan, Hera, and Zeb got their moments to shine and got a lot of development. This season started Kallus’ redemption arc and the episode that it begins in is a standout. I appreciated that it delved into trying to show how imperial soldiers must feel, their perspective, and the idea that they too cannot be seen as a faceless mass but instead individuals where not all are beyond redemption. The show keeps its momentum and produces Twilight of the Apprentice, which is some of my absolute favorite star wars content. I already gushed about it above so I won’t go into huge detail, but it did so much right and changed the status quo of rebels forever. This season started strong and ended strong and showed just what this show could give.
Season 3 was an even stronger overall season than the last. This is where I really started liking Ezra. Once again even more focus is put on the supporting cast and Ezra isn’t really forced into a main role in storylines that aren’t about him. Sabine finally gets her backstory revealed in two really strong episodes Trials of the Darksaber and Legacy of Mandalore. I wish they had explored Sabine a bit more in earlier seasons, but the quality and strength of these episodes make the wait worth it to me. Kallus and Thrawn were probably the highlights of the season for me though. Kallus became an incredibly interesting character and the setup for his disillusionment with the empire and potential redemption were paid off wonderfully. I love his arc and liked that it allowed the show to have an episode from the imperial perspective. Thrawn was a fantastic villain every time he manipulated what happened and made deductions I found myself thrilled and actually cheering. I wanted our rebels to come out on top eventually, but I was enjoying what they were doing with Thrawn too much to want him defeated in this season.
The show seemed to be given less and less limitations on what it could do the longer it went on and it gradually got darker with each season. This season was the darkest with Kanan’s onscreen death, Ezra’s ambiguous fate, and multiple onscreen deaths of supporting characters. This season was the one I felt was the strongest. The stretch of episodes from Rebel Assault to Family Reunion - and Farewell was easily the strongest string of episode in the show. I was consistently on the edge of my seat waiting to see what would happen. Kanan’s death was what I consider to be the biggest emotional gut punch of the show. I loved that we got to see each of the ghost crew members deal with their grief in different ways. Seeing Hera have a crisis of faith in the fight she has unwaveringly fought for this entire time made me emotional and I realized how attached I was to these characters because I understood how they felt and wanted them to be happy and get the victory they deserved. The series started on Lothal and ended on Lothal with the ghost crew finally freeing the planet from imperial grasp. I was happy that they finally got the victory they strove for since the beginning. In the end I was happy to follow the ghost crew through their journey and thought this was a really strong season and note to end the series on.
#star wars rebels#star wars#swr#sw#kanan#kanan Jarrus#caleb dume#ezra#ezra bridger#hera#hera syndulla#sabine#sabine wren#kallus#zeb#thrawn#series review and thoughts#jedi night#twilight of the apprentice#the honorable ones#family reunion - and farewell#zero hour#siege of lothal#fire across the galaxy#spark of rebellion#steps into shadow#through imperial eyes#world between worlds#this show gets better with every season
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I hear some people are accusing Sam and Cas of abusing Dean to get him to do what they wanted, what do you think about that?
My reaction: Utter befuddlement.
(gif credit: sebstans)
I haven’t seen the latest episodes, so I can’t go in and take a critical look at whatever supposedly “abusive” behaviors Sam and Cas are displaying, but I’m gonna guess—as has been the pattern for a long while now—that one or both of them vehemently expressed their disagreement with Dean’s plan, probably more than once. They were probably sad. They might have even *gasp* shown their emotions. (How very dare they) And Sam punched Dean. ** Not something I’m comfortable with, to be honest, but that’s personal and is neither here nor there.
Part of why I love Sam so much is this: as much as he can, to the very limits of his endurance, he tries to trust in people and respect their decisions. He is (despite his lack of faith in himself) slow to wrath—or at least outward expressions of wrath. He is calm, and he is faithful, sometimes even to his own detriment. (Sam has never been able to deal well with losing Dean, though. That’s a long established canon fact.)
But:
Not being able to pretend everything is all right is not abuse. Telling a person (even repeatedly, even convincingly) that you really don’t want them to do something is not abuse. People are allowed to have emotions and reactions that do not mesh with my own. Wanting something or even needing something and showing you need it is not abuse.
Being broken, unstable, or on uncertain footing is not abuse. Needing and seeking support is not abuse. Needing and seeking support even when the person you are seeking support from is, himself, broken and in need of support you are unable to provide is not abuse. It’s tragic, but it’s not, by any stretch of the imagination, abusive.
Hitting a person is not abuse. Here’s where it gets sticky. Hitting a person is violence. It is not a healthy response and should never be encouraged. But abuse, by its very definition, is more than violence. Abuse requires a pattern (whether of violence or of financial, emotional, and/or social control) that is enacted specifically to achieve a desired result: to put the abused person under the abuser’s control.
(Under a cut because this gets long and no one should have to deal with my disconnected rambling unless they wish to. Analysis below of whether Sam [and Cas, to the best of my limited knowledge and ability, since he’s unfortunately not part of my hyperfocus] meet the criteria. tl;dr they don’t)
So. A pattern. And an unequal dynamic.
A pattern?
Sam is very, very rarely violent when he is in control of his actions (i.e. not possessed or under the influence of a supernatural substance). The instances where he has initiated physical violence in all 14 seasons can be counted on one hand. It does not create any real sort of pattern.
I could talk for a long time about how Castiel’s occasional violence does not also constitute a pattern of abuse, but though I like him, I haven’t spent as much time poring over his scenes word for word and am not sure how clear it would be, and additionally, it’s a little questionable to expect a being who has been brainwashed and molded for thousands of years to be a perfect soldier to a) understand and b) act in accordance with human relationship dynamics without a lot of trial, error, and patient explanation (which he didn’t get with any consistency from the person whose ideals he clung to when he first appeared [Dean].) I lived abroad in a country whose customs and social expectations were a bit different from my own, and I had the opportunity to do extensive research in advance. I still had pretty intense culture shock and an adjustment period. There were some things I simply couldn’t fully wrap my mind around, and some things I disagreed with. And it was only some thousands of miles of land and ocean that separated us. Arguably, it can’t even be applied to Castiel in those first seasons. Asking him to relearn in days, weeks, or even years things that have been beaten into him over millennia is… ambitious, to say the least, and something that needs to be considered in any nuanced analysis.
Then the show humanized Cas. It made him make some well-intentioned mistakes while trying to seek a leader and do what he believed to be good for his family…the family he has grown up with, again, for millennia. The show took away his powers, his memories, his sanity. But it did not change his role. Castiel’s arcs over the season have specifically emphasized his discomfort and inexperience with being perceived as a leader. When he was unstable after having taken on Sam’s overflowing trauma from his broken hell wall, he was very much not in a position of power, and… if anyone was being abusive, it wasn’t Cas.
But perhaps people are talking about emotional/psychological abuse? Again, both Cas and Sam have expressed desires and tried to explain differing positions from Dean and have been under powerful supernatural influence (the Siren, demon blood, Leviathan, etc), and have made decisions on their own without seeking Dean’s permission—and, oops, that just highlighted our second criterion.
An unequal dynamic (specifically, abuser in a position of power).
Neither Sam nor Castiel is in a position of power over Dean. Only in season 11 did Sam and Dean’s dynamic start to level out a bit. The big struggle in early seasons, the one that literally carried us to the season 5 finale, was that Dean treated Sam as a kid/subordinate, not as an equal, and Sam felt he needed to seek permission to do anything. Actual quote from “Swan Song” (and I admire this development in Dean so much, even if the later seasons dismantled it):
DEAN: The whole “up with Satan” thing. I’m on board. SAM: You’re gonna let me say yes? DEAN: No. That’s the thing. It’s not on me to let you do anything. You’re a grown – well, overgrown – man. If this is what you want, I’ll back your play. SAM: That’s the last thing I thought you’d ever say. DEAN: Might be. I’m not gonna lie to you, though. It goes against every fiber I got. I mean, truth is… You know, watching out for you… it’s kinda been my job, you know? But more than that, it’s… it’s kinda who I am. You’re not a kid anymore, Sam, and I can’t keep treating you like one. Maybe I got to grow up a little, too. I don’t know if we got a snowball’s chance. But… But I do know that if anybody can do it… it’s you.
Some people will try to claim that Sam is in a position of power because he tried to go to college or because he can leave Dean and (somehow??) holds that over Dean’s head repeatedly (??????????), but if someone is in a position where, for even their own education or mental health, they’re not allowed to be apart from someone or even think about seeking something for themselves, that’s not abuse on the part of the person who seeks separation. And when Sam (young, so young), left for college, the only control he had was his own autonomy, his own two feet that brought him out that door. He was disowned for choosing to do what he needed for himself, after growing up in a family he had a hard time feeling a part of. That’s not abuse on Sam’s part. Maybe Dean did need Sam there beside him. But doing something for his own mental health and personal growth is not abuse by any stretch of the imagination. I call that courage.
The same goes for Castiel, especially considering that, despite his greater physical strength (when he was a fully-powered angel), he still tends mostly to act as if he is a subordinate or inferior, possibly from the millennia during which he was a soldier in a garrison: he was looking for a leader, a superior officer, even when he left. He found Dean.
“But what about when Sam and Cas do things behind Dean’s back??” Some people might ask. Again, I feel like (especially in the case of the Mark, where, due to its powerful influence, Dean was significantly altered and violent/controlling) if characters are so afraid to seek permission/understanding that they fear that they have to do something completely in secret… that just…. that’s not evidence that these people scurrying around in breathless terror are somehow the ones in a position of power?? Quite the opposite, I’d say. I mean, MoC!Dean literally said they weren’t a team; it was a dictatorship.
I’m sorry there are so few examples. Honestly, I could go on for hours and for pages and pages and pages, but I don’t have the time or the brainpower to make that post, so this is what I have. I’m sorry it’s not as complete as it could be or that it doesn’t include examples from s14, since I haven’t seen anything since pretty early in the season.
In short/tl;dr: Sam and Cas neither display a pattern of control nor find themselves consistently in a position of power over Dean. (And I cannot stress enough that Sam trying to seek his own path/seek education/do things for himself does not count as abuse and it disturbs me that people think it does.)
In fact, the opposite is most often the case: Dean is generally in the role of the leader. Recent seasons have begun to change that dynamic a bit, but neither Sam nor Cas have reversed the dynamic.
** Re: Sam punching Dean: I understand the circumstances and his reaction makes sense to me, but I’ll be honest: I’m personally uncomfortable with violence as a problem-solving method. So I don’t like that Sam did it, but I understand that both brothers grew up in an environment where less destructive/self-destructive methods were not consistently modeled for them. I understand that there are situations in which people might feel like words are useless and their only recourse is a physical response. I get pain and tragedy and desperation and terror and loss… but it doesn’t mean I’m any more comfortable with it.
#bittersamgirlclub#sam winchester#castiel#negativity for ts#my meta#my stuff#sam and abuse#sam and fandom#sam and family#dean winchester#moc!dean#sam and cas#anonymous#semirah replies
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David’s Reviews: Steven Universe: The Movie
Hey guys. In response to the premiere of Steven Universe Future (aka Steven Universe Season 6), I thought I’d go back and rewatch The Movie and finally share my thoughts about it with you all (as well as all the fanart I’ve been accumulating for it since it came out). And what better way to do it than resurrecting an old series I had on this blog called David’s Reviews? So then, let’s get cracking, shall we?
The Story
This movie does an excellent job of moving us from the old feel of the show’s first five seasons into the new show it’s become. With how much things have changed since Change Your Mind, it’s very clear that Steven Universe has changed drastically from what it used to be, and that’s reflected so well in just the first few minutes, where we see a now sixteen year old Steven addressing the entire now-freed gem empire with the diamonds before returning to Earth to show us how much Beach City and life for the gems and people there has changed.
The use of the Rejuvenator as a plot device also helps to show where our characters have been, and where they are now, giving us a chance to revisit their highs and lows as we prepare to move into this new phase in all their lives. Seeing Amethyst and Steven leaning on each other like siblings, watching Pearl relearn how to be independent and self-willed, and witnessing Ruby and Sapphire falling in love all over again and Garnet becoming the steady rock the team relies on all showed just how much we care about these characters, and all of the lessons they’ve learned and have in turn taught to us.
The true standout of this movie is or course Spinel. Another broken piece of Pink Diamond’s past, Spinel represents a very real depiction of someone who’s been betrayed and abandoned by a loved one. And while we’re all left sympathizing with her, her actions aren’t just dismissed or glossed over. The fact that Steven agrees to her going back to homeworld with the Diamonds shows that while he cares about her and wants her to get better, he also knows that their relationship, thanks to his mother’s actions in the past, is too toxic for her to stay with him. As in the past, it’s a very nuanced and complicated and real portrayal, and it’s presented beautifully and accurately in ways that kids can still understand, even if they don’t quite grasp the psychological themes behind it.
Overall, the story is simply incredible, and definitely a fun ride, setting us up for what is yet to come in the future.
The Aesthetic
As a lifelong fan of musicals and Disney movies and Disney movie musicals, I adore the overall themes used to open and close this movie. From the classic musical tropes of opening curtains and finale showstoppers to the fairy tale book opening and prologue, the framing device really comes through well to present the film as what it is: an incredible performance worthy of the loftiest stages of Broadway and Hollywood.
The look itself is superb, showing off the amazing skills of the animators and production teams, who’ve clearly come a long way since the first episode. With lighting and color palettes used to exquisite perfection, nearly every set piece is a work of art in its own right, from the dark fadeness of Spinel’s garden to the sickly pinks of the injector-stricken Beach City to the hopeful brightness of Little Homeworld. We’ve come to expect a lot from this team, and they did not disappoint.
Of course no review of a Steven Universe property would be complete without discussing the music. And it was all so on point here. Nearly every song was a hit, and the vocal performances were always fantastic, from the very first song. The three lovely ladies portraying the Diamonds harmonize so wonderfully together, they almost make you want to be smothered by their love 24/7. I mean, who could say no to Christine Ebersole, Patti LuPone, and Lisa Hannigan all serenading you at once with “Let Us Adore You”?
And the amazing songs featuring each of our leads fit so well not only to their own styles but also to their characters’ expressions. In particular for me is “Independent Together”, the duet between Steg (Steven and Greg’s fusion) and first Pearl, showing her memories being restored and her independence being reaffirmed, and then Opal (Pearl and Amethyst’s fusion), marking her first speaking role since her debut episode. The song’s message of being able to be independent without sacrificing your relationships with others is a strong one, and it’s wonderfully performed by real life indie rock duo Ted Leo and Aimee Mann.
Of course, once again, the real treat here is Spinel. From her debut song, “Other Friends”, which establishes her fun classic rubber-hose animation style, to her incidental music reminiscent of those same classic cartoons, Spinel leaves her marks on this movie in all the best ways. And her voice actress Sarah Stiles nails each and every one of the character’s complex and thought-provoking moments.
The Tone
While there’s still plenty of that classic Steven Universe fun and carefree joy, there’s no mistaking the much darker tone this movie shifts into. Steven’s growing up, and so is the show in a way. From more obvious examples of dangerous situations, to showing the first time Steven has ever been hurt enough to bleed, this movie demonstrates the much deeper themes and stories the show has shifted into as time has passed. And the complicated issues presented by Spinel and her arrival are presented in a deep and realistic light, and not just played up for drama or laughs. True thought was clearly put into this work.
But that’s not to say that there aren’t plenty of fun and lighthearted moments to be had. In fact, having less of these moments makes them all the more meaningful to the story, with each given more weight in light of their scarcity. And even then, the backdrop of what is happening and what has happened lingers in the background, adding new layers of depth to even the silliest moments. It’s a much more mature view, one that befits a more mature Steven.
My Personal Takeaway
While nothing in this movie specifically called out to me, seeing the continued growth of these characters from where they were to where they are now did remind me of my own growth over the past few years. I’ve come a long way from who I used to be, and while most of that probably has to do more with Thomas Sanders and the Famderdom, I do feel that some of it has been seeing such an inclusive and positive show as Steven Universe.
Steven remarks himself that the reason he became a hero was because he allowed himself to change, to grow up and to understand himself and who he wanted to be. And I’ve had to go through that same journey. In many ways, Steven’s story could be my own, and I look forward to seeing what other parallels his and mine will have.
My Thoughts for the Future (and) Summation
All in all, I’m looking forward to seeing what other stories are yet to be told in Steven’s Universe. And this movie has merely galvanized that feeling. Getting to see these characters that we know and love continue to explore themselves and their relationships has been amazing. And I know it will only continue to do so as we move into Steven Universe Future.
While I am sad that season six will be the last season for this show, I do think that it will be a fun experience to have as we explore the remaining threads of this world’s story. And to Rebecca Sugar and the rest of the Crewniverse, can I just say thank you for what you’ve given us, and wish you all the best in your own futures.
*****
Well, I hope you guys liked that. I really want to come back to this series on my blog. So in that regard, is there anything you guys would like to see me review? If there is, let me know, and I can look into adding it to the list.
In any case, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it, and I wish you all a good week.
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TRIGGER WARNING : I know you're not a psychiatrist tbh I just need to vent and I really like you so yea, I've come to the conclusion that I am what everyone thought I was which is a lazy little bitch using depression and suicidal thoughts as an excuse to be lazy I use to feel guilty but idc anymore it just shows there's no hope for me at all the only problem is I don't have the guts to shoot myself in the head and it's the last option I have Im sorry I just don't know who to turn to
hey dude. i’m sorry to hear you’re hurting so much right now. i know it’s a complex and personal issue that words alone can’t solve, but i still hope you’re open to some comfort, some alternative narratives to center your thoughts around. and idk just a few words from someone who can understand to an extent....i think first and foremost it’s a good idea to ask yourself, when you’re in the right state of mind to, where all of this self loathing is actually coming from. whether it’s grounded in anything substantial. it’s important to remember that a massive part of depression is feeling like you’re faking, over-exaggerating, using it as an excuse etc. i’ve heard a lot of people with mental illness echo the same sentiment. and the fact that you feel this way, so violently negatively towards yourself, indicates that you ARE struggling with a much deeper problem. but we’re taught to overlook it and to blame ourselves, partially due to society’s attitude regarding mental illness. in short we’re conditioned to feel like we’re lazy and worthless if we can’t produce labor and profit, or if something prevents us from doing so, but that’s merely a capitalist myth. those around you have internalized its message and are now projecting it onto you. but now that you recognize that fact, you can begin dismantling that belief system in your own head. cause in actuality, it’s got nothing to do with you or your value as a person. it’s the system that’s the issue, and the way it sees human life as nothing more than a means to an end, when people are so much more than that. you are so much more than that. you’re not here to constantly please everyone or to be some emotionless machine. so anyone who was judging you by that standard is fkn deluded and their opinion doesn’t hold much weight to begin with. then there’s also the stigma surrounding depression itself. people who’ve never experienced it don’t get how debilitating it is to live with. how it doesn’t just prevent people from working, how it prevents people from progressing in all areas of their lives when it’s left unacknowledged. which is why the answer isn’t to hurt yourself, it’s to admit to what hurts. this isn’t a matter of personal failure, or of laziness. it’s an illness, something that needs to be confronted head on with time, treatment, and self help in order to move beyond it. it’s just as serious as any physical ailment, but you don’t have to beg anyone to understand that. you’re going through so much just by getting through the day and the fact that you’re still here counts for so much. i promise, you are not your negative thoughts. your mind is just trying to get you to stay in the cycle of self hatred > self destruction > self hatred so that you feel more discouraged and less likely to seek the support you need, even though that could be the one thing that would break the repetitive pattern. idk who made you believe that you are this bad and unforgivable person but i hope you know that it is genuinely, truly possible to grow beyond that way of thinking. it may take time, and it may feel unreachable right now, but change is honestly constant especially if you seek it out. the way you see yourself in five years will not mirror the way you see yourself now, you know? this is all a process and as long as you’re getting through it, you’re doing so much better than you realize.
it’s ok to recognize all of that and to still feel like shit, to still feel like giving up sometimes. sadness, anger, pain - they’re exhausting and terrifying, but you don’t have to push those emotions away. though they don’t have to control all of your actions either. because they’re never as permanent as they feel. part of being suicidal is thinking in a black and white fashion, where everything has to be all or nothing. but it doesn’t. there’s a lot of nuance and a lot of different choices you can make, if you just breathe and keep yourself in a safe environment above all else. like i said, you’re living with an illness and bad days are a natural part of that. but having the tools to be able to cope with them in a healthy way could make all the difference. and that IS an option for you, even if you can’t see it right now. are you currently seeing a mental health professional? if not, i’d really really suggest looking into that before you make any permanent and heavy handed decisions about whether or not it’s worth it to stay alive. seriously, even if you’re unable to see a therapist at the moment - there are depression/suicide hotlines you can call who can help you with the next step, there may be support groups in your area, your doctor may be able to refer you to a counselor. you are capable of reaching out, as proven with this message, which is a really good sign. and building routines around personal self help and finding what works for you would be a step in the right direction, too. there is so much that can be done in terms of identifying what you feel the way you feel, relearning how to treat yourself, developing a support network over a period of time, opening up to make room to heal - it’s possible. i promise it is. it’s possible to live a full, stable life that you’re proud of despite having depression. if you have any trusted loved ones, now may also be a good time to talk to them about whats going on. i’m sure they want to have the chance to be there for you, and it’s alright to lean on them when you need it. you’re clearly in a very emotional state right now so i don’t blame you if you can’t bring yourself to believe me, but i hope it’s an idea you can keep revisiting. because really what my main point is, is that you deserve to stay alive regardless the fact that you’re dealing with a mental illness. i don’t want to sound cliche but it’s true that nothing would be the same without you, that you’re here for a reason (which you fulfill every day, just by being who you are) and that your presence is far more precious than you know. i’m sorry you were made to feel any different. you get this one life and i would really hate to see you do something you could regret over situations and feelings that can be helped. you are not beyond hope, you are not a lost cause. especially if you live your life as if you’re not. you still exist and that means there are a million different ways things could turn out, the future is ever changing. the present is all you need to worry about. it’s just another symptom of depression to catastrophize and picture everything ending in the worst case scenario, which is something that can also be helped with therapy/practicing mindfulness. anyway, i’m aware that this is getting super long and i’m going to leave some links that may be of some use to you in terms of follow up support, but i’m really begging you. no matter how awful you feel tonight, just allow yourself to breathe through it. cry through it. call someone if it all feels like too much. keep yourself away from anything you could use to harm yourself with. and then wake up tomorrow knowing you have the chance to try again, knowing that that is a good thing, knowing that this moment is not what your whole existence is going to look like. please, please call someone if you think you’re a danger to yourself. even if you have to pick up the phone on autopilot. you mean so much. im sending you a lot of love and hoping you find the self appreciation you deserve. if you ever need a friend please feel free to message me. you’re not on this alone.
https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/get-help/a-z/resource/50/suicide-coping-with-suicidal-thoughts
https://medium.com/@sameoldzen/finding-intrinsic-self-worth-in-a-capitalist-system-7069be072b5b
https://serenitymentalhealthcenters.com/31-coping-skills-for-depression/
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