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spotlightlowlife · 1 day

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codependency isn't couple goals.

To add to cresent moon and this notion of a cornered victims imperfections being equivalent to power, we have a whole line up of characters who could do with working on themselves because their setups are good.

Yes fantasy has a habit of toxic relationships but the difference is they tend to be related in escapism, this show along with it's parent series tend to give us dynamics that they clearly want us to root for when they serve as little but a means to an end.

Over in Hazbin we have the push at Husk x Angel, where Angel casually sexually harasses Husk, much to his annoyance, as Husk works at a hotel bar through little choice of his own while Angel stays their for free, for shits and giggles too, yet Husk is not allowed to be upset Angel, that's insensitive, Husk must realise that they're both 'losers' and be more receptive, adjust his mood and make himself more outgoing when required.

We have Charlie x Vaggie, an established relationship yet this would never be apparent if it wasn't for us being told or already knowing because of the fandom. These two have the least chemistry of any pairing of either series, don't be fooled into believing their lack of crassness which is abundant when male characters are present is a lack of chemistry, these two just have nothing, Vaggie could literally be yet another sinner working at Charlie's hotel.

Charlie doesn't get to hide behind the excuse of behaving professional and busy at work because she's no professional and she doesn't work, this could work if this main character was actually given time and focus in her own series and her every interaction with her girlfriend wasn't some occasional glance from either of them, a peck on the forehead or slight touched hand at the same time as some pressing issue.

Both ladies are friendless yet they lack presence to such a degree that they maybe pass as acquaintances among all others hanging about in Charlie's hotel with nothing in particular to do.

Vaggie's new backstory had them meet the moment after she 'fell' (which Charlie conveniently didn't witness), laying injured and now homeless, Charlie, the princess of hell and not just any princess but the daughter of the leader of leaders, approaches to help, she was kind, caring and immediately interested, Vaggie became her sidekick along with the above.

Vaggie has little of her own, keeping quiet about her past could have been character strength or a weakness that can be developed, only it wasn't, nor were her intentions to improve her combat in preparation for the conflict that was on its way through no fault of her own, she is simply there with the plots simply happening to her, he major backstory, no big deal, gloss over Charlie's breif upset, no extra angel powers for Vaggie or effort to bring order or do anything to prove she had any stance pre Charlie, no, these leading characters were not given the time, the take away was that Vaggie now has wings and is even cuter.

Back to HB, Millie and Moxxie are a good couple but they're codependents with Millie having little outside their relationship.

Moxxie is very attached to Millie who is very attached to him, he loves how much she loves him and how keen she is to view in his interests, something he didn't get at home, but he's also attached to Blitzø, a friend he made in jail who was nice to him and had great dreams, Moxxie stuck around to see and help realise these dreams, dispite Blitzø being a horrible boss, not a nice friend, invading his personal space and bringing his bratty adult daughter to work with them. He had it thought growing up and like Blitzø who too experienced a crocked dad and a apparently caring, apparently quiet and apparently dead mother, Moxxie too now has a new family.

Why was Moxxie in jail? Because of a comicaly douchy ex boyfriend who also happens to have dated Millie too. They were both oblivious to dating the same douche and what he did to get Millie so upset is unknown, a truly pointless plot device.

Now on to Millie, who serves as validation for Moxxie but let us know that she too needs validation and a little moment to shine, I'm sure this sound sweet to some.

I truly believe that the Sallie May and Millie short was of no benefit to Millie's character, it further reiterated that her husband and her family must be separated parts of her life, yet this isn't a step away from codependency, this is yet another example of her complacency in her refusal to stand up to her nice enough but rowdy and judgemental family that no doubt is the reason she simply loves attention, loves the opportunity to be aggressive and loves the attention she gets from a guy who loves her for her exuberance and her love for him in return.

Millie was in an environment where she blends in, getting the chance to go elsewhere and stand out for being different gives her the spotlight she seeks, but how sustainable is it when she's just going to blend again because of her lack of interests?

She managed to have an ex, also Moxxie's ex, I assume while away from home, she managed to get her job where I assume she met Moxxie, she's been in the city, why not let her have hobbies, her favourite places to be where she's the one initiating outings, let her have friends she can enjoy shopping and clubs with rather than just her sister, let her enjoy live music and not just because it's her husband's passion.

It makes sense why they are given so many grande gestures.

Millie x Moxxie and Vaggie x Charlie are almost copy paste, a charismatic pushover from powerful family who isn't respected at work and is struggling to get their idea heard, is maybe the nicest person in their group but has selective moral compass, is a bisexual with a slimy ex but the current relationsip in a serious with a woman who comes from a different world and has eyes only for them, she's in the background somewhere. Millie x Moxxie work well because of the absence of unfair power dynamics, equal neediness and affection that can range from very tame to very vulgar.

Ozzie x Fizz very briefly took over as a healthier Millie x Moxxie until Fizz was humbled out of having any life of his own. Fizz has had it tough but now he's with royalty and living a life of fun and smothering loving, he doesn't need anything else.

Fizz also serves as proof that Lust itself is capable of love, yet dispite all the time they have been given and all the effort in that one episode to tell us how awful Fizz's boss is (the ONLY HIGH UP CHARACTER SO FAR to manage active and balanced leadership, live up to their villainy and not be dating the customer) and why he should stay home which fizzled out on us because Fizz's issue then became not feeling good enough for Ozzie and desperately seeking the validation we are constantly seeing him getting we have yet to see how Fizz x Ozzie become a thing, until then why believe that Fizz is the one even though Ozzie the great and the powerful predates time?

How they got together is something we have not seen in either of the leading established couples (if it's true that Vaggie x Charlie became a thing when they met under those circumstances, then it's arguable that Vaggie joins the sugarbaby club).

Previously I touched upon these two being a shortcut who piggyback off what some in the fandom want for Blitzø and Stolas.

Now if you honestly separate any likeness between these two ships, forget Fizz is an imp like Blitzø, forget the shared trauma experience, forget Ozzie is royalty like Stolas and forget the working relationship, what do these two have? Especially Fizz now that he's out of his other job that lined up with his life long aspirations?

Blitzø has been just another of a long line of partners who sleeps and works with the other, only with Blitzø the partnership is a transactional and a monthly over daily job.

He's not the default best friend even though Stolas wants to believe that, a total delusion on his part to believe into his adulthood that the 'lowly' child and open thief and vandal who was bought to your home because 'you like them and you're rich' those decades ago is your friend. They got to eat together on the one not date that Blitzø had a choice to not take further and chose not to. Blitzø is vilified for that time he called on Stolas out of contract because he needed a plus one or for liking sex which should come as no surprise considering the sex jokes are constant with him followed by virtually every other male character.

It's Blitzø who needs to get with the program and submit to his sugar daddy who holds all the cards.

Healthiest couple are Millie's parents.

#helluva boss critique #helluva boss asmodeus #helluva boss stolas #helluva boss millie #helluva boss moxxie #helluva boss critical #helluva blitzo #helluva fizzarolli #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin husk #hazbin angel dust

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homestuckreplay · 2 days

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Violin Concerto in the Key of Meteor Strike: Who Is Rose Lalonde?

Character Deep Dive 2 - 6/2/2009

Homestuck’s narrator formally introduced us to John Egbert right as the comic opened, but our getting to know Rose Lalonde has been slower and more natural. From her earliest conversation with John on p.63, to her becoming a ‘playable character’ of the comic on p.139 when she and John begin playing Sburb, to our switch to following her in person actions on p.214, we already knew a lot about Rose before we had her name and list of interests. She’s just as weird as John but with a spooky gray filter applied, she’s a regular kid who will probably summon a demon, she’s an absolute control freak who’s still kind of a failure at video games, and she is our second Main Character, set up as a contrast to John as well as a friend.

Much like with John, I’ve used Rose’s list of interests to group the information we know about her, and to discuss her relationship with the other characters and with some themes of the comic so far.

Essay below the cut - about 3.6k words.

Quiz here - 13 multiple choice questions.

1. You have a passion for RATHER OBSCURE LITERATURE.

If this was the first thing we learned about Rose, I might see her very differently. I’d definitely take her more seriously. But I saw her destroy the plumbing and put the bunny back in the box, so learning this now comes off very differently.

With John’s ‘passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES’, we were given posters to illustrate his taste, and based just on critical reception, ‘really terrible’ is a huge oversimplification. So we know that the narration isn't completely objective, and we know from other clues that Rose's interests in psychoanalysis and games are fairly surface level, which makes it an easy leap to ‘Rose reads a lot of HP Lovecraft and thinks of that as way more obscure than it is because she’s 13 and gets book recommendations from forums’.

There are two posters on the left of Rose’s wall that could be book characters - they look like amateur art of regular, non-tentacled people. I wonder if they were birthday presents from one of her friends, whether it’s John or TG sending her original concept art made by the author of a book she likes, or fanart if one of her friends is a visual artist (GG, perhaps?)

John not only loves movies, but imagines himself in their stories (for example, p.223) and the things that happen to him reflect his movies in response. Without any specific titles, it’s hard to say if the same is true for Rose - but if so, it raises questions of genre. John’s story has been lighthearted action-comedy with darker themes below the surface, light fantasy and countdowns leading to an explosion that’s almost comically absurd even while it has our hearts racing. Rose’s story is already darker both in literal color and in tone. Her inventory system is still terrible but she uses it more pragmatically and she’s far more skillful about skulking around her own house. This, the design of her house, and the sudden flashes of lightning illuminating the sky red or revealing a shadowed figure give her story a survival horror feel. If that’s her taste in literature, it would make sense that she’d imagine herself in that type of story.

2. You enjoy creative writing and are SOMEWHAT SECRETIVE ABOUT IT.

Where a normal person might say ‘hey I heard you got the sburb beta’, Rose Lalonde says ‘I understand you have recently come into possession of the beta release of "The Game of the Year", as featured in respectable periodicals such as GameBro Magazine’ (p.63). It’s the first thing we hear from her, so we learn immediately that she likes the sound of her own voice. She’s the only kid in her friend group who uses perfect capitalization and grammar in her messages, and she criticizes game walkthroughs as ‘horrendously written’, suggesting a focus on the technical aspects of writing.

Her creative interest is seen in ‘I think I will write my own walkthrough’ (p.204) where she moves beyond criticism and at least believes she could make something better, and ‘It’s not especially practical. But I think they are elegant’ (p.154) which shows an interest in the style and aesthetics of things. We also get great glimpses of her prose in lines like ‘Its lurid glare has moved on to younger timezones’ (p.174) - I can imagine Rose writing fanciful mood and setting pieces that focus on description over dialog.

In her eccentric verbosity, Rose’s character voice is more similar to the narrator’s than any other character’s is. The narrative text on p.82, for example, feels more comfortable in itself than Rose’s messages do, but it’s not a million miles away. I’ll come back to Rose as a narrator figure in the section on knitting, somehow.

Rose is not only secretive about her creative writing, she’s secretive in general. On page 164, she tells John not to investigate after she rips out his toilet. She asks him for ‘space’ to fix it and sends him away, and clearly prefers to work unobserved especially when she’s uncertain. She also shuffles her purple package into the closet (p.218) and her writing journals under her bed (p.220) when she feels the narration’s scrutiny. The narrator states ‘You would only resort to such an embarrassing activity while no one was watching’. Rose is clearly ashamed of some of her interests and personality, and hides a lot of herself from observers to make herself seem cooler and more mysterious than she is.

(I have to note that this does not work, at least not where her friends are concerned. Before we hear from Rose directly, we learn about her from TG, who says ‘maybe you can play with TT shes been pestering me all day about it. shes mackin on me so hard all the time i start to feel embarrassed for her’. Definitely not the way she’d want to be introduced to a mass audience).

3. You have a fondness for the BESTIALLY STRANGE AND FICTITIOUS, [...]

The 'bestially strange and fictitious' is what's being referenced in the tentacle of tentacleTherapist, not an innocuous interest in marine life. This is one of her shared interests with John, who apparently liked paranormal lore. It's interesting that these beasts are 'fictitious' according to the narration, but Rose's grimoire is specifically for 'summoning' the zoologically dubious, not just learning about them. This positions Rose as a more active character than John (summoning instead of learning lore) and as someone who has grand designs and fringe beliefs - kind of an Ellie Arroway in Contact figure.

I've talked about Rose and John as scientists based on their chumhandles, versus TG and GG as religious. We now know that Rose lives next door to an impressive sized lab broadcasting from an antenna. Depending on how good their security systems are, she might have explored here, or at least peered through the windows at the strange, unethical science experiments they're surely doing (aka the extremely routine lab work that she's interpreting as mad science). Growing up with scientists as her only neighbors might have inspired this interest and got her started on weird experimentation of her own. As it's unlikely she has formal training beyond middle school, it makes sense she'd be into weird tentacles in jars instead of a more academically accepted field.

I've been wondering how many of Rose's interests are from childhood and how many go further back. The cuddly Cthulhu plush and the very cartoonish monster on her shirt suggest this was a childhood interest, even if the specific monsters she likes have changed over time - some of her more unsettling posters might be recent additions. We don't know enough about her mom's parenting style to guess if she was mostly unsupervised on the internet and able to look at horror from a young age, or if she was held back from something she had an interest in until her mom felt like she was old enough, and how that might have impacted her either way.

4. [...] and sometimes dabble in PSYCHOANALYSIS.

This is the 'therapist' half of Rose's chumhandle, and the easiest interest to guess based on her early appearances. Psychoanalysis, to Rose, appears to be the idea of knowing people better than they know themselves and guessing their underlying motivations and thought processes - therapy through telling people what's going on in their head instead of talking it through with someone. From what we've seen so far, the vibe is 'she's read Freud's Wikipedia page and cares more about putting her basic knowledge into action than reading more theory'.

In Rose's first chatlog on p.63, she accuses John, 'You're wearing one of your disguises now, aren't you? You are typing to me right now while wearing something ridiculous.' She says this right after John mentions going to get the Sburb beta from his dad - 'mom' and 'dad' are activation words to someone with an amateur interest in Freud, and she's immediately putting herself in John's head and making assumptions about his life. (She's right, but probably only because they're already good friends).

On p.160 she tries to pull a similar move, saying 'Is this how your pent-up frustration with your father manifests itself?' and John shuts her down. But in her efforts to analyze other people, she tells on herself more than she wants to - her previous message was 'I am not sensing a lot of regard for the personal property of others' and considering this message comes as she throws John's personal property around his house, leaving his things on the roof and in the backyard, I'm going to call this one projection.

Rose's only direct statement about her mom is on p.174 - 'I'd rather not risk an encounter with my mother. I battled through her cloud of gin and derision once already this evening.' In this same pesterlog she compares her situation to John's, suggesting that she thinks John's situation of 'cake, jesters, unfaltering love and support' isn't really that bad. While she's not wrong, it's a very unproductive thing for a so-called therapist to say, and it shows a lack of self awareness - Rose seems like she would hate being coddled with cake and having a business clown cramping her goth style.

I really think Rose is more of a lab scientist than a therapist, but being able to perfectly understand and predict people is such a helpful skill for someone who is insecure and wants to project an image - if you can understand how someone thinks, you can influence what they think. She definitely wants to control how she's perceived, and likes to have information in general (see: immediately looking up GameFAQs when she couldn't figure out Sburb right away). Psychoanalysis is also used in literary criticism, so it's also possible that she uses this to advance her creative writing, if she's open to any kind of self reflection.

5. You also like to KNIT, [...]

Knitting stands out from Rose's more esoteric and highbrow hobbies. It's not something we've seen her mention, but her sweaters, scarves, socks and hats scattered on her floor look finished, so she has skill and commitment (but lacks a good storage space). I bet she knits while listening to audiobooks. It's a hobby that needs some perfectionism and attention to detail, which seem like traits Rose prizes even if she doesn't possess them (see p.170 where Rose reveals that she placed the Cruxtruder without rotating the room to check if she was in the way of the door).

Rose calls her shot about Sburb's punch card alchemy on p.157, and doesn't confess to reading walkthroughs until p.178. While it's possible she was reading them sooner, it's also possible that she's familiar with punch card knitting, maybe even has a knitting machine somewhere in the house. Knitting is fundamentally the same principle as (punch card) alchemy - taking an abstract image or code laid out on a 2D card, and using it to generate a physical object. The totem lathe and alchemiter could function similarly to a knitting machine, using build grist or cruxite instead of wool, but creating patterns in similar ways.

Following this logic, knitting is a generative hobby, as is creative writing. Rose makes things in a way that John really doesn't (he's clearly never finished coding anything) and has been doing so before playing Sburb. It's interesting to associate her with creation in light of her underlying god complex. Frankenstein is another 'obscure' book Rose has probably read and loved. She is a Dr Frankenstein type of scientist, she is going to knit Fluthlu and bring them to life. The Sburb server player is such a godlike role, and she slides into it so naturally, immediately taking full control and giving orders.

When she's the player character but we haven't seen her yet (p.139-201), she feels like an invisible but omnipresent narrator one layer below the actual narrator, a watchful presence that John can't escape. On p.145 she tries to select John with the Sburb cursor. It doesn't work, but what the hell was she going to do if it did? Drop him outside? I keep coming back to how she seems aware she's being watched by the narrator on p.218 and p.220, in the same way that John knows he's being watched by Rose (but doesn't seem aware of the narrator, despite reacting to their commands). Is it possible, even, that she's (consciously or unconsciously) trying to emulate the narrative voice with her messages in her efforts to take on a similar role?

Her conversation with John on p.204 is fascinating. John tells her there's a meteor heading for his house, and her response is 'I see'. She stays cool and collected and completely unattached throughout the conversation, trying to solve the problem through citing GameFAQs, talking about how much smarter she is than other people, and refusing to compromise on her incessant use of inconveniently elongated words. She fits the stereotype of the Objective Intellectual scientist so well, too concerned with what's possible to care about its fallout, taking notes on John's reactions in her lab notebook while feeling no emotions about the whole thing. It sure is interesting that a video game might be able to cause a meteor strike. Sure would be an intellectual exercise to figure out how to stop that. She is so perfectly above it all.

6. [...] and your room is a BIT OF A MESS.

I never realized John was neat until we had Rose, who definitely isn't. On p.160, she says she's 'tempted' to clean up the mess in John's toilet for him, but everything she does actually makes his bathroom worse. We've actually seen John clean (p.67) and the only out of place things in his room on p.4 are things his dad left there, if we assume that Dad left the hammer and nails for John to hang the painting. All his mess comes from accidental sylladex misuse - he even makes his bed. Rose will simply leave an expensive violin balanced precariously against the wall, drop a pre-punched card on the living room floor instead of placing it on the coffee table, and fail to return John's magic chest to his room even after she's 'got a feel for the controls' (although this last one could be her being silly on purpose). I can't decide if Rose is being an asshole by leaving John's house in a complete state or if she's just Like That and doesn't even notice.

Rose has an inventory system that she knows how to use, so it's easier for someone to be clean if they want to be. Maybe she just doesn't. The rest of Rose's house is empty besides dope ass wizards - on p.230-235 we see that Rose's house is filled with long, expansive corridors, has at least three floors, and is large and modernist with strange towers and extensions and bubbles. If Rose's mom is minimalist and Rose feels like her house is missing something, of course she would expand to fill that space, with her physical possessions as well as her personality.

7. And on occasion, if just the right one strikes your fancy, you like to play VIDEO GAMES with your friends.

John has a poster of the Problem Sleuth heroes on his bedroom wall, as well as a copy of the game, and Rose has a poster of the Problem Sleuth beasts and demons. It would be cute as hell if they played it together. Rose playing a video game has been most of what we've seen of her so far, so I've kind of covered that in other points - I want to talk about the 'with your friends' part, and specifically, how she and John met.

They seem so different, and based on Rose's strong reaction to the intelligence of GameFAQs writers, if she just encountered John on a forum she would not give him the time of day. John definitely isn't stupid, but I think he can come off that way in a first interaction, and I think Rose makes quick judgements about people. John can definitely banter with Rose - my favorite early interaction of theirs is 'TT: Can a disorder also be a complex? EB: in your case, probably!' (p.160) - so all it would take is getting over the initial hurdle of starting a conversation. So I have three theories.

The first is that they did meet on a forum, and John was just so charming in his silliness that Rose eventually warmed on him. Maybe John got stuck on the loading screen of a game and couldn't figure out how to press start and Rose helped him out and John just kept liveblogging his game in the thread. Maybe John asked a question about Slimer from Ghostbusters on a cryptozoology forum and Rose gave him a weirdly anatomically detailed answer that referenced a worrying home use of concentrated sulfuric acid. Maybe Rose posted some of her writing online and John left a glowing comment.

The second is that they met through TG. He seems to have a fair bit in common with both of them - on the surface, more than they do with each other. He could have noticed one of their shared interests and put them in contact, or he could have been trying to fuck with them by setting them up to hate each other and it backfired. Either feels plausible from what we've seen of him so far.

The third is that Rose just used to be different. John has the childlike spirit of the clown and I get the sense that he's always been the same, whimsical on the outside with a malaise hovering within. But Rose is trying to put on such a sophisticated affect, which could be recent. Rose could have been bubbly, accepting and open to talking to anyone a few years ago. She's changed as a person, but stays loyal enough to her friends to brave the evil red storm for them.

Final Thoughts

I find Rose easier to analyze than John - she's not less complex, but her complexities are made more obvious in the text. We also don't get the luxury of sitting with Rose and learning about her organically like we did with John. The meteor countdown is flashing in my mind even when it isn't on screen, and the text needs to take shortcuts, telling us about Rose instead of just showing her. As such, I don't have as many questions hanging as I usually do, but there's still a few.

What's up with both John and Rose being really talented at music, but this not being listed in their interests or directly acknowledged by the narrator? Does the narrator fucking hate music? The narrator of a webcomic which has so far included five original music tracks??

Is Rose consciously aware of the narration? Is it something that just began for her when we saw her, or has that been part of her life before? Is this why her personality is so cultivated, because she feels like she's always being watched?

What exactly is Rose's relationship with her mom? Is her mom a mean alcoholic who mocks Rose's grief over her cat, or is this a story Rose is telling herself about her very average mom?

Is Rose a weird kid who actually has a pretty normal life, like John, or is her life weird for real? Does she live in a massive haunted house or are we getting her exaggerated perspective?

More broadly, what sources of information in Homestuck are reliable? The narration and chatlogs are both biased perspectives, but what about the images? Are we seeing the characters' worlds as they actually are, or are we seeing things as the point of view character perceives them?

I love Rose. She and John have both been really easy to connect to, are extremely likeable, and feel like real people I could run into on the internet. I love how average they seem and how they really have more flaws than strengths - it adds to the realism, and sets them up with a lot of cool options for story arcs. A Rose who's a loser and kind of sucks is so much better to me than a Rose who's actually good at the things she claims to be, and my only hope is that we solve the imminent crisis and see more of her being truly silly.

#AFFECTIONATE. if i dunk on her here its because i love her and i think shes a good character #tho i did struggle not to refer to her as the sheldon cooper of her generation #homestuck #analysis #rose lalonde

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dailytomlinson · 2 days

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San José recap

Louis showed up wearing a Saul Nash shirt paired with C.P Company pants & Axel Arigato shoes

Setlist had 20 songs (no BTM)

“It's so fucking loud in here!”

“I see your portrait over there! Very talented, very talented. Love that”

“I wanna talk about this tour for a second... this tour has been so fucking special, every single minute of that. I started this Faith In The Future Tour, if you want to call it, a while ago now so I’ve been so lucky to visit so many incredible places and get an incredible reception everywhere I go and let me tell you that everyone around me might have but I never take that for granted. Never, ever. I mean, everyone else expects it but I’m praying every night I have this amount of love and I do. So, thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me the confidence to be on this stage, thanks for accepting me in your beautiful country, very very nice.”

“With your hands between your eyes [chuckles]”

Closing: Silver Tongues

#louis tomlinson #fitfwt #fitfwt:latam #300524 #fitfwt:sanjose #fitfwt:recap

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fallloverfic · 7 months

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you writing the only alucard x olrox fic around saved my life just so you know. i don't know what i'm going to do obsessed with a ship with two fics NFNFNDNNFGNND but thank you thank you so much, that was lovely 😔🙏 i'll forever conjure it in my mind when i want to think of them and how cunty they would be together as a couple.

Aww thank you <3 <3 <3 I had a lot of fun with it (their dynamic is so delicious), and I'd like to write more of them. I already have a couple ideas, it's just unfortunately de-prioritized behind some other things. I wrote them interacting more today, though, so they're definitely never far from my mind :3 And I have... thoughts about Alucard in a sequel to You reluctant demon. But we'll see how it goes. Originally I played around with making You reluctant demon a dual Mizrak/Olrox and Alucard/Olrox fic, but I'm not sure how well that'd work for the story, hence the standalone canon divergence Alucard/Olrox fic.

I did see there was a new Alucard/Olrox WIP up by someone else, so we're at 3 fics (I know the first one came out before the shows did, but still XD), and it looks like the fandom is slowly growing :D And you can always try writing something yourself! Or doing other fanworks! And even just letting people know in Ao3 comments or elsewhere that you like their work is a great start! It really encourages us to write more! I know the wonderful reception my fic had has definitely kept the pairing in mind for me :3

#Castlevania: Nocturne #Adrian Tepes #Alucard #Olrox #I nearly didn't post it tbh #I thought people would get mad or something #but the reception it's had has been lovely

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rinisdrawing · 8 months

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the golden princess & the sorcerer prince

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definitelynotshouting · 5 months

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Can i just say guys, holy fucking macaroni, like. I know i say this a lot, but the reception for hunger au has been like NOTHING ive ever experienced before, and im so incredibly grateful for it. Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much-- writing hunger au has probably been my best overall experience of 2023 and thats all thanks to yalls lovely comments, bookmarks, kudos, and asks i get in my inbox about it. It's hard to believe this is real sometimes, you guys just blow me away ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Its still several hours from midnight for me, but i wanted to wish everyone a preemptive happy new year anyways :] heres to another year of hunger au, which is so very far from being finished, and i cant wait to keep writing it for yall!!!!! :DD and again, thank you guys so so much for such a crazy and wonderful response to my self indulgent fic, because without it this never would have grown to be what it is today❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy New Year everybody!!!! 🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆 See yall in 2024!!! :D

#shouting speaks #hunger au #1200 subs...... over 1k bookmarks...... ALMOST 700 INDIVIDUAL COMMENTS........#literally ive never had this much reception from a fandom before its mind-blowing #yall are so wonderful and kind about writing im very often insecure about #and the fact that my story resonates with a hugely significant portion of yall never ceases to humble me #i feel so lucky and privileged to be writing this for yall and to be receiving so much kindness in return for it #LIKE IM JUST. NOT TO BE SAPPY BUT I HAVE MET INCREDIBLE PEOPLE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET IF I HADNT POSTED THIS FIC #and that just BLOWS ME AWAY #ive gained incredibly close friendships and met wonderful people and have had very sweet anons come regularly to my inbox #i read and cherish every single compliment #2023 has been an incredibly hard year for my health and stress. but everyones love for this story makes my heart so full❤️❤️#so uh. thank u guys 🥺🥺🥺🥺 for being wonderful and supporting this fic so much #and all my other fics!!! stg scarian fandom hits different yall are so incredible to me #blowing u guys kisses /silly #cant wait to finish arc 1 and start on arc 2 in the new year!!!#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆#txt

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 3 days

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I'm really glad I've been able to learn as much as I have about somatic therapy processes, but also I would like more pls????

#i have been working with some folks on embodied traumas #and we've been talking a lot about the physiological experience of trauma and the memory of the body beyond the memory of the mind #we have such interesting conversations #we're all of us seeing progress #but one in particular has practically revolutionized her relationship with the world in the process of about a month of somatic work #and like #tbf #they were doing that on a foundation of 2yrs of narrative processing around neurodivergent trauma #but that's kinda the point #2yrs of progress in a month is such a glorious receptiveness???#anyway #obviously they still have things to work on #but i was so excited and we had this lovely little moment about it

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rowenabean · 11 months

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#the wedding was lovely and i am so sad #managed to get most of the sad out of the way Friday and Sunday so i could be glad for them on the actual wedding day #but still. i'm going to miss her.#we always talked about living together and we never did and now we probably never will #i've got a model of married folk living together in community but i don't think they do and it has to be something you choose #her family are lovely and i was really glad to meet her friends and cousins that she talks about so often but they don't really get it #they get to have her!!! she's moving somewhere that's more convenient for literally everyone other than me! (this is not hard to do)#really good to get home and hug my dad and my little sister and have people who are my people around #was actually really good at the reception that there were a few other folk from my current town - i wasn't the only person who was #mixed joy and tears #i said something about us giving her over in my speech and they said yes that's exactly how we're feeling #but it wasn't till her husband responded to that in his speech that i started crying #everyone has been so kind to me but it has been SO good to get home #hoping i can get a bit more sleep as well. emotions are bigger when tired even though they're real still #(her cousins invited me to come stay any time and tbh i can see that living in Auckland could be actually really nice if you live where they #do. but i couldn't live where they do and do the work i want to do it is quite far away from the places in Auckland i could imagine working)#rowena adventures #btw no photos of me currently but probably some later??? not that we took many the groom had been sick the previous week and was #still pretty wiped so they got like two photos with the bridal party and ten with just them and that was it

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piplupod · 22 days

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re: prev post, just an anecdote of my family's bs

i remember when i was trying to have a conversation w my family, esp my brother, a while back (last year) about the prev post's topic, and ohhh my fucking god. it was one of the worst convos I've ever had with them. my brother was whining about how difficult it was to not be racist and to know what qualifies as racist and what's "okay to say" etc (along with ableism, but racism was the main point of that convo at that point), so I said he just needed to go searching out some musicians and podcasters and streamers of colour and you'd pretty quickly diversify your media intake and pick up good habits and good viewpoints just through that one simple action. it's like,,, really not that hard to find POC to subscribe to/follow if you do a simple look-around in your usual spaces u spend time in on the internet.

and he said, and I quote, "i'm going to be honest, i just don't care enough to do that" and yet he had just been whining about how hard it is to not be racist and how he was stressed because people kept telling him he was being racist,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, head in my hands !!!!!! he went on to explain just how little he actually cared and how it seemed like too much work to him even though he'd literally just been complaining to me for like 20 full minutes about how he was so stressed and didn't like people telling him he was racist.

like i know what he wanted to hear was "its okay if ur racist, im sure ur just doing ur best :)" but i'm not going to fucking say that to him. even if it would make me safer in this hell house, i am not going to fucking affirm anyone's comfort in being racist.

#this family drives me nuts. i lost all respect for my brother that day ngl #and he has gone on to be continually racist and brush off anything i've brought up in family conversations about racism #like that one youtuber that he and another brother love so much that is white and bastardizing an indigenous spirit for profit #he got so fucking mad when i said the words ''white saviourism'' fdsjjkl i saw smth in him just snap when i said that about the youtuber #and then he uses ''tribal savages'' in his DnD campaigns and i'm just....... so tired. having to listen to him excitedly explain his-#-new campaign that he came up with and he's yet again using the tribal savage horrific stereotypes #and if i say shit about that then i get yelled at by the rest of the family and made to feel like im oversensitive and crazy #anyways. wah wah poor me etc. im sure this is somewhat normal and nowhere near the difficulties other ppl face #i just rly hate trying to slooowly teach them and suggest the tiniest steps towards being less racist and they get so fucking angry at me #im still smarting over yesterday bc i had to hold my tongue through a lot of shit and i feel awful about it #i want to teach them so they aren't going thru the world hurting ppl but i have to weigh my safety against it #and tbh they are not receptive anyways so i'd just be throwing away my safety for no real progress w them #but i feel like i have to try idk !!!! if i don't try then nobody in this family has any real hope of improving !!!#god knows theyre not going to take the initiative themselves. thats been proven repeatedly over my goddamn lifetime #sigh. head in my hands. tearing my hair out. etc etc etc #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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elceeu2morrow · 2 years

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just my silly thoughts on why i love the latest igtv.

#i wasn't sure what i thought of the latest igtv but after after watching it again i really enjoy it #it's like a love letter to latam fans but also his fans in general #even though we didn't get much stage footage until the last few seconds it was filled with content that joshua films of fans before the sho #this is what louis sees through josh's lens and as josh said this tour has been unreal never documented anything like it #and while josh puts the videos together we know that louis is involved and gives final approval so this is what LOUIS WANTS TO SHARE WITH U #i love getting to listen to him speak about how he feels : how he felt prior to going on tour not knowing if it would even happen #then to the reception he has had all over the world and in particular latam #this igtv was his moment of reflection his moment to take it all in as he has done during this leg of the tour when he watches the crowd #at the end of beautiful war and shakes his head in amazement #so yes it was only a 3 minute igtv that didn't share as much bts or stage footage but to me it showed so much more #again he's telling us the insecurities and uncertainties that he had at the start of his solo career (like he did in the afhf2021 doc)#he's telling us how he thinks about the tour and how they continue to work on the show the staging and how he feels that he himself #as an singer and performer has evolved over the last four month #and most of all he tells us how he feels about stepping into a each city and the reception he gets not just on stage but off stage #he feels the love and support we give to him as a SOLO artist #so yeah i wish we got yacht footage but i am grateful that louis took the time to do a reflective video and ultimately #it was the perfect leg of the tour to do it #so thank you louis for sharing a piece of you with us #if you made it to the end thank you for reading my ramblings #lt igtv #6.10.22 #mine #ltwt2022 latam

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fingertipsmp3 · 3 months

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The overall concept of kids bringing their phones to school BAFFLES me tbh. Like what do you mean 10 year olds have phones? What do you mean they’re allowed to bring them to school???

#i got my first phone when i was 9 but it was literally only because i was going on a trip with my grandparents #my parents wanted a way to keep in touch with us and neither of my grandparents were interested in owning a phone at that time #(my granddad has one now but my grandma hates them with a passion. she doesn’t even like having a landline. she’s so based for that tbh)#anyway. it was a nokia brick and i LOVED it; i thought it was the best because it lit up at the sides and i could take tiny photos #i had about 10 numbers. whenever i got a new person’s number i would text them incessantly #i still was not allowed to take it to school and i wouldn’t have even WANTED to considering 1) what would i have been able to do with it?#we weren’t allowed to text or call people in class and that was really all my phone could do lol #and 2) it would’ve got stolen #tbh i never brought anything nice with me to school because it WOULD’VE got stolen. in the time i was there i had a coat; a bag #and two pencil cases stolen. oh and my watch but whoever stole it dropped it and a teacher found it #NONE of this stuff was as valuable as a phone. i got my pencil cases for £3 maximum at whsmith #so i am absolutely bamboozled at the concept of kids bringing SMARTPHONES to school. like what do you mean you as a parent are buying #something for your kid that costs hundreds of pounds and then LETTING THEM GO TO SCHOOL WITH IT???#‘oh they need to be able to get in touch with me and i need to be able to get in touch with them—‘ call the receptionist’s office #like a normal person!!! sorry but anyone who’s a parent of a school age kid… well most of us anyway. we’re old enough to remember LANDLINES #we’re old enough to know the concept that if someone is at a building; such as a school or workplace; that building has a LANDLINE PHONE #maybe several. and also: if your kid has gone MISSING from school then you need to call the police #that’s it!! if your kid needs you they need to go to school reception. if you need your kid you need to go to or call school reception #i’m sorry i’m not seeing why everyone needs a phone at school. the only thing i can think is if your bus/transport ticket or pass #is on there. even then - it should be in your bag & switched off throughout classes #tbh even at break time - socialise with people?? like by all means check your notifications quickly but you don’t need to be ON your phone #not at break and defffinitely not in class #i had a smartphone all through college and university and i never used it in class. like. i don’t get why people seem to think it’s okay #personal

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laurelwinchester · 5 months

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Dean not wanting to hear it doesn't mean Sam was wrong about Laurel. We as Laurel fans have been defensive because of the way she's been treated but in this case her behavior does warrant some criticism. She's in pain but she's using that as an excuse to run away and hurt her marriage and her child. All Sam was saying is that she needs treatment and he doesn't want her to keep hurting Dean and Mary. If anyone was unfair in that scene it was Dean.

honestly?

yeah, this is a pretty fair assessment. sam might have been clumsy with his communication and timing but his overall stance wasn't wrong. laurel has been making bad choices and she is without a doubt extremely unwell and in need of serious help right now. and dean does have a hard time accepting that. he does make excuses. he does, unintentionally, enable. sam was right. and dean knows that. he admitted later - at least to himself - that sam was right. he knew he was being unfair.

but do you want to know the biggest mistake sam made in that scene in the kitchen?

it was this.

even ten years gone, daddy dearest and dead is still causing trouble.

dean was already actively shutting down before the john comparison came up and once it did, there was zero chance of a productive conversation. which isn't really fair because he himself made the same comparison in his head in the same chapter (twice, the first one being the nightmare where he literally cast himself as his mother and laurel as his father) but sam was the one who said the quiet part out loud and dean just...isn't there yet.

it actually speaks to one of the issues problem between the brothers in general. they have very different styles of communication and empathy and that difference can occasionally cause problems and lead to arguments like that one. love and devotion doesn't mean you always understand each other.

#in fairness even if someone else (like cas or charlie) had tried to have that conversation with dean #he probably still wouldn't have been receptive to it just because he simply isn't ready yet #and he has to be the one to get there by himself #but yeah it wasn't the smoothest conversation the brothers have ever had #it was well meaning but rough #but i love that in a chapter where a four year old possessed child vomited up a dead bird #the most controversial scene was bro drama #not sarcasm i love that #winchester family baggage you will always be famous #dean and sam #asks #anon #fic: how the light gets in

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gibbearish · 7 months

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i will say also one thing ive noticed with the cake smash debate is by and large (and esp in wedding situations), women tend to hate it and men tend to be the ones who think its turbo hilarious and the women are being big whiny babies and can't take a joke. just food for thought

#esp bc for the wedding ones. its always the bride getting it done to them. yknow the one who spent the most on that days makeup and outfit #out of anyone there? and therefore already has the most to lose practically if say something like a cake were to ruin it?#and also is one of the two people that day is intended to celebrate? who wants to remember this day as a beautiful #happy occasion‚ not one where she got her dress ruined and had to miss part of her own reception to try to clean off?#that bride?#idk i just. physically cannot imagine how these ppls brains work #how do you genuinely prioritize 'smash cake in face funnie' over Getting To Marry The Person You Claim To Love #or just traditions in general i cannot wrap my brain around those #like doing them i can get its fun to have silly little human rituals. but when you start to prioritize those rituals over #the comfort of other people who dont want to participate in it thats where you lose me. we get to 'they dont want to do it' and #i immediately go 'ok so dont make them. problem solved'#'but weve been doing it for years' ok and? skip a year youll live #its a ritual you do for fun not necessity #like this is a nonissue. where is the problem. it doesnt have to be done and it makes them uncomfortable.#so how the FUCK do people keep insisting that they do have to do it!!!#like literally no they dont! they just dont like this isnt a debate youre just straight up wrong!!#if the only negative consequence to not doing a thing that makes someone uncomfortable is 'ill be a little bit sad #about not getting to do it' genuinely from the bottom of my heart shut the fuck up forever and deal with it #that is not a real consequence. that is the minorest of inconveniences.#hm correction to earlier tag idk why i put 'skip a year' what i meant was 'do it without them'

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k-hotchoisan · 2 months

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the scentist

Your neighbour—Choi San—is such a gentleman on top of being a complete hunk and smelling so fuckin good. Especially so when he offers his hoodie when he sees you being drenched. Well, nothing could come out of such a simple gesture of kindness, right?

Genres/Warnings: perverted & obsessed scentist!San, Olfactophilia (sexual arousal from scent), masturbation on clothing, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex, cumming untouched, armlock (light) breeding, pussy drunk San💙

💙 @san-network 💜

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs @yeosangiess @interweab @mylovelymito @softwsan @yourlocaljonghoe @itza-meee @ywtf @jeon-ify

A/N: WE BEEN KNEW THAT I’D LEAVE MY FAVOURITE MAN FOR THE LAST!! 😮‍💨 don’t be sad that this event is ending ok,, we got more to cum come 🥰 thank u for giving my fics so much love as always!!

🩷back to staying perverted

Lavender. Sweet pea. Azalea. Gardenia.

The scents of the florals fill his lab, something he’s so used to already. As the concoction bubbles, he walks over to the other flowers potted along the shelf, pressing the petals against his nose, taking in their smell before he pulls away. He pulls off his goggles, walking over to his desk, staring at the standing whiteboard, filled to the corners with flower names, chemical compounds, and other miscellaneous details. Even though he’s doing fine, he feels that something is missing. Choi San feels stale and stuck.

The rain is pattering down heavily against the pavement, he stares at the raindrops hitting the leaves of his plants. San often gets compliments on how beautiful his plants are, and how natural he is at gardening. San would don his signature smile and he would thank them for the compliment. Sometimes, his neighbours would come by to ask for gardening advice and San would gladly entertain them. This evening was no different. Another one of his neigbours who was growing greens had wanted to express appreciation by buying San his favorite fertilizers. Stacking them neatly in his cabinet, San then decides to head down to the reception to receive his parcel.

Fuck. The downpour was so sudden. It totally caught you off guard, and you were drenched before you realised it. You make it to the entrance of your apartment complex, shivering slightly from the air conditioning. You shake off the excess water off your arms, and when you look up, your heartbeat quickens—your apartment complex crush is standing at his letterbox, filtering through his mail while he holds a parcel in his arms. He’s in a grey hoodie, and for some reason, it makes him look big, and it’s driving you insane. Shit, shit, shit. You pray that he doesn’t turn around and see you.

“Hey. Good evening y/n”, San greets cheerily. You force a smile, “Good evening San.”

San has his eyes on you, and you swear he’s eyeing you down—probably judging you for being drenched and shit.

“Looks like you reached back just in time”, he teases, and you pout.

“I feel like a drenched dog. Is this how dogs feel after a shower?” You reply, brushing your hands through your wet locks, all in an attempt to stop yourself from staring at San laugh—his voice is hypnotic enough to make you melt into a puddle already. The cold air from the air conditioning hits you once more, and this time you’re beginning to shiver uncontrollably on top of struggling to open your damn letterbox and not looking like a circus in front of your crush.

You focus on fidgeting with your letterbox keys, your fingers reaching out to snatch the letters. When you close the latch, San has his hoodie unzipped, and he’s removing said outerwear.

“San, what are you-“

He’s about to hand you the hoodie, but he instead opts to put his parcels in your hands, and he fucking fits the hoodie around your shoulders, and when he does, his smell floods your senses. He smells like a mix of floral—with hints of spice and citrus, and although for a brief moment, you have it locked in some part of your brain. His fingers brush against yours as he takes his parcels and letters from you, and it doesn’t help that he’s in a black shirt that hugs his biceps, shoulders, and chest a little too well. You barely muster the strength to peel your eyes away, feeling your heart flutter when his fingers brush against yours as he retrieves his packages back from you.

You look up, hoping that the fluorescent lights don’t highlight the heat that’s rushing to your cheeks. You’re still shivering, but suddenly you don’t feel as cold as before.

“Thank you, San”, you smile. “I’ll wash it and return it to you ASAP.” San smiles in response and the both of you walk to the lift together, light conversations and laughter filling the spaces as your body and your heart gradually warm up.

San is exhausted—he’s been at the lab back to back, drafting report after report, and it’s been taking chunks out of him. Palm against his neck, he tilts his head, shutting his eyes as he stretches his neck, and then he sighs. His superiors finally approved his reports and now he has the god-given chance of going home and catching up on his sleep for the night.

The muffled sounds of his doorbell stir him up from his sleep. He doesn’t shift for a couple of seconds. Then his hands shift across the bedsheets to feel for his phone. The doorbell sounds a couple more times and San grunts in his groggy state, his fingers hitting against the edge of his phone, which he pulls closer to him to check the time.

It’s 2 pm. He crashed for 14 hours last night.

He slowly sits up, letting his sight adjust to the afternoon sun filtering through his windows before he walks over to the front door. He’s slightly grouchy from the amount of sleep he clocked in, but as he swings the door open, the remainder of his sleep dissipates when he sees that it’s you standing before him.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” You ask, rubbing your neck. “I wanted to return you this..”, you bring up a paper bag to San’s view. San is still registering this.

“But you weren’t home for the past couple of days, and I don’t have your phone number..”

San blinks. Then his hands reach out to take the paper bag, and his eyes glance downwards.

Ah, it’s his hoodie.

He looks up back to you. “Thank you. Don’t tell me you’ve been coming here every day to try to pass me this?”

“Yes and no..?” you answer with a smile. It spreads to San, who suddenly feels a shot of guilt for making you come to his unit when he wasn’t even there half of the time.

“I’ll treat you to dinner for the trouble I’ve put you through”, he says hastily. He thinks the way your eyes widen and how pink is flushing at the tip of your ears is so adorable, and then he cuts you off before you attempt to decline his offer, “Pass me your phone.”

The phone in your hand is in his now and he types in his phone number before he hands it back to you.

He leans in slightly closer, and there is a particular scent that slowly starts to make its way to his brain. Is it coming from you? For some reason, he hasn’t been able to get it out of his head since the day he lent you his hoodie. And there it was again, faint, but it was definitely there.

“Is there anything else I can help you with, y/n?”

He’s almost disappointed when he sees you shake your head, but at the same time, he has lab work to do, so he shuts the door after he sends you off with a smile, not knowing that you omitted that you wore his hoodie a couple more times after washing (mostly due to the cold weather).

He drops off the paper bag on his bedroom floor before he heads off to his home lab.

Unfortunately, the extra 14 hours of sleep still doesn’t spark inspiration for his chemistry, and he ends up spending barely an hour in his lab, mostly tending to his flowers, before he decides to call it a day.

San is back in his bedroom, and he decides to unpack his hoodie from the paper bag. His hands reach into the bag and retrieve the hoodie, and when he unfolds the hoodie, his mind immediately hazes at the scent coming off the garment. Fuck. It’s even more prominent. It’s the scent that he can’t get out of his fucking head, and now it’s pretty much in his hands.

You smell like fucking heaven, San thinks, placing the outerwear under his nostrils once more, inhaling, the smell completely entering the crevices of his mind. He groans and curses at the way his erection is pushing against his pants just from your fucking smell. It’s more than just the detergent you use—it’s so much more intimate and intoxicating than that, and it’s undoubtedly driving San fucking crazy. He’s so sure that this is the scent that he’s been chasing after.

San walks over to his bed, comfortable on the mattress while he pushes his pants past his thick thighs, his cockhead pushing against his underwear, forming a dark and wet spot. He inhales shakily, teasing himself, the precum thickening and staining more of his underwear. It doesn’t take him long to kick off his sweats and underwear completely, letting his cock spring out with a relieved sigh, before he slowly starts fucking his hand while his other hand has his head filled with your pheromones.

The thought of you on that rainy evening, the way the rain had drenched your white shirt through, your bra showing, cupping your tits so fucking teasingly. San wonders if you did it on purpose because he would have just ripped your shirt open right then and there. His repressed fantasies begin to bubble up—the thought of him inviting you to his unit instead, letting his hands feel you up, making sure your goosebumps are from his touches rather than the cold because he swears he can warm you up quickly. He would press himself against you, taking in your scent, before he’d slip his hands underneath your pathetic white shirt, cupping your tits, then sliding your pants off—he knows he can’t even wait till the both of you reach his bedroom—the furthest the both of you would go? The fucking couch.

Your smell floats, and it’s dragging him deeper and deeper. San bucks his hips against his hand, soft moans pouring out his lips, whining your name against the fragrant garment, his precum turning thicker by the minute. He’s liked you ever since he met you when you first moved in, and now you’re filling up every part of his olfactory senses. He’s desperate to fill you up with him, make sure you’re holding your shirt up with your teeth, your eyes filling up with tears as he slams his cock into your warm pussy, over and over, forcing yourself to stay quiet so the neighbours don’t hear.

Fucking hell. San’s thighs shake slightly at the thought of it. He takes another inhale, and it’s like a dopamine reset once more, perfect at the moment when he’s bringing himself to the edge. Your voice echoes in his head, the pretty sounds you’d make, the expressions that he would indulge in for himself.

Thick streams of cum bubble from his silt, and he almost suffocates himself from the sick pleasure of burying his face in his hoodie drenched in your scent, he catches his breath as the scent slowly fades when he pulls the hoodie from his face, panting from an orgasm that he knows will never be enough one time.

As San washes off his high in the warm showers, he decides to attempt to recreate your scent, wanting to keep it all for himself. And he knows just a hoodie isn’t gonna be enough.

You’ve been flipping your apartment upside down, looking for your panties. At first, you didn’t notice that one pair went missing—chalking it off as you misplacing your laundry. But when the second one you swore you dropped off in the fresh laundry hamper disappears, along with a third, you realise something was amiss. You retrace your steps—you did have a couple of people over recently, but the majority of them were your girl friends, if you minus off how you and San have been going over to each other’s places for meals ever since the both of you exchanged phone numbers. Undoubtedly, your feelings for him have grown exponentially, especially when the both of you spent time with each other in (almost) close proximity. San had always been polite and helped around with cleaning up the dishes, and he had a very endearing habit of leaning in closer to you—whether to just tease you or to hear you better—it would never fail to make you act flustered around him before you would roll your eyes and push him away.

Needless to say, the relationship had blossomed since that rainy evening. You just didn’t expect to grow so close with your apartment complex crush, and while there were nights where San’s face, San’s voice, San’s body would bubble up to the surface when your orgasms washed over you, leaving you squirming and shy once the post nut clarity hit, you thought to yourself that the relationship between the both of you was good enough for now.

You scratch your head, racking your brains as to where your panties might have magically disappeared to. You’re lost in thought until the ping from your phone brings you out of it. You go over to check, and it’s from San—reminding you of dinner at his place. Right, the panties can wait for now.

“I hope I’m not late”, you smile as San opens the door for you to let you in. San returns it, “No, I just placed the order. It’s gonna take awhile.”

You take a seat on his couch. No matter how many times you’ve been to his place recently, you always feel that it’s still so spacious.

Then he breaks your train of thought.

“Is there something you’d like to do while waiting?” You let your eyes wander around his apartment again, and they land on the potted plants on his window sill.

Your eyes dart away from how San is staring down—his body is facing towards you, giving you his fullest, and it’s making you slightly self-conscious.

“I’m wondering what you’re always so busy with.”, you say. You’re ready to be rejected when San doesn’t answer right away. Right, it’s probably something personal to him too. But you can’t help but overthink when he doesn’t reply immediately sometimes. It makes you feel so childlike.

He stands up, gesturing you to follow him. “It’s a little embarrassing”, San replies as he guides you to the tightly shut door. He presses his fingertip onto the keypad—it lights up green and San pushes the door knob down, and the door pushes open.

It is as if it is another world. The lights are dim and the air is a lot cooler, albeit slightly more humid thanks to the myriad amount of plants littered around the room. He has so many species—differentcolours and different flowers. The scents hit you next, the floral scent floating around your nostrils at different intensities.

“A whole nursery?” You exclaim, walking near to some of the flowers.

“Yes and no. It’s more of a lab”, San corrects you, walking over to the heavy desk just full of lab equipment. “Sorry, it’s kinda messy.”

You shake your head, still taking in the sight of his botanically busy room, amazed.

As you near more of the equipment, the scents grow stronger. The whole lab smells so fragrant, and you’re surprised that it’s not overpowering, to say the least.

“So, what do you do here exactly?” You ask, taking another whiff of the fragrance while staring at the rows of test tubes before you.

“I make scents. It’s just a side hobby of mine on top of my research”, San explains. He picks up a test tube and gestures you to take a whiff, and so you do, pleasantly surprised at how much the scent smells just like him.

“Then what’s your little project now?”

San pauses. He doesn’t look you in the eye for that split second. As he parts his mouth to answer, the doorbell rings, and it jumps him out of his thoughts. The food is here.

Seated across San, as you always do, San is plating the takeout while you prepare the utensils. The topic of his lab comes up again, but you completely forget about asking about his projects.

Midway through the conversation, the rice cake that you were trying to eat somehow slips off the utensil and drops onto your clothes, causing you to jump in surprise, somehow toppling your plate with the leftover sauce, on top of staining on your clothes, much to your dismay.

“Shit”, you curse, casting an irritated glance at the splatter on your clothes. The plate clatters on the floor. You stand there, slightly dumbfounded at the situation. You’re wondering if you should just head home to change out, considering that your unit isn’t too far from his. But before you have the chance to bring up that suggestion, San cuts you off.

“You can drop your clothes into the washing machine. In the meantime, you can borrow my hoodie. It should be on the clean laundry hamper.”

“San-“

He turns to you with a comforting smile. “It’s fine. Rice cake sauce isn’t the easiest to clean off when you leave it for too long. I’ll clean up the floor.”

You realise arguing with him isn’t work out in your favour, nor will it get the rice cake sauce off your clothes any quicker, so you decide to heed his words and head to his room.

Undressing yourself once you shut the door, you drop your soiled clothes into the washing machine. It was then you realise that you are pretty much naked, in Choi San’s fucking bedroom. Struggling to keep your head out of the gutter, you decide to focus on finding that damn grey hoodie. Your eyes scan his room, trying to search for the grey hoodie. And your eyes land on a thick-looking piece of garment on one of the laundry hampers. You walk over to pick it up.

You put his hoodie over, and there it is again—the spicy citrus smell. Choi San’s smell. Your thighs push against each other a little tighter this time. Then something in your peripherals catch your attention—a lace garment. You inch closer, and your heart drops.

It’s a pair of lace underwear.

Fuck. Is he seeing someone and he didn’t tell you? A thick lump forms in your throat.

And then it goes away when you start picking up another two more panties from the hamper, and the realisation hits you like a fucking truck—these are your fucking panties.

Things are not adding up in your brain, that’s for fucking sure.

At that moment, San bursts into the bedroom, and a panicked expression scribbled across his face. His eyes are blown wide open when they land on the three pairs of panties in your hands.

You stare back at him, almost mirroring his expression, the only difference being confusion for you instead.

The corner of San’s lips pull into a half smile. “Oops.”

“San, what’s the meaning of this?” You ask, feeling your face flush rapidly.

“Well”, San pauses. “you asked what scent I’m making next right? It’s yours.”

“My scent?” You echo back in question to him. San sighs, his shoulders relaxing as he inches closer to you, trapping you underneath him when you finally hit his bed.

“Yes, darling. Your scent”, his voice almost turning into a whisper, dropping octaves lower. “You’re so cruel—keeping something so intoxicating to yourself.”

You swallow hard. San’s eyes still reflect his usual gentle demeanor, but now it’s slowly being tinted with something else. Something more ominous. Despite that, it only draws you in, like a prey being slowly hypnotized by her predator. You should be shocked, terrified even, but the only thing streaming through the nerves of your brain is the internal begging for San to just eat you up right now.

You suddenly realise that the hoodie isn’t zipped up, the outerwear slipping down your arms. You remain still, your heartbeat slamming against your ribcage.

“You can run out of my apartment now. I’m giving you five seconds”, San tells you, and your mind is spinning at the thought of him even giving you a chance to leave.

Five seconds pass. You’re still staring up at the male above you, whose lips are curling into a satisfied smirk.

His fingers cup your jaw, and he tells you, “Open up.” Sparks splatter across your eyelids the moment his lips collide with yours. You pull him closer on instinct, the feeling of his thick erection behind the two layers of fabric sending you into an orbit on top of his tongue teasing yours. He pulls back, licking off the strings of saliva between the both of you. His gaze is locked onto yours.

“Please? Let me taste you. I promise I’ll make you feel so fucking good”, his request sounding more like a beg. Your mind is hazy. Choi San? In between your fucking legs? You swallow hard, and then you nod.

San lowers himself to your clothed cunt, his eyes shut in bliss when he presses himself against your pussy.

“Heaven”, is all he mutters, his eyes casting you a glazed expression that was definitely about to drive you fucking insane, before his fingers pull against the waistband of your panties, slipping them off you.

The moment you feel his tongue press against your pussy, your mind threatens to shut off. San is breathing heavily against your soaking pussy, taking in the sight, taste, and smell of what you’re finally giving to him. Every time your thighs jerk to shut at the sensation of his tongue licking you up, his hands push you open for him forcing you to take his tongue in your cunt, and it’s wiping out any remaining rational thoughts you didn’t even know you had.

Your fingers tug against his scalp, pushing your hips deeper onto his tongue, your back arched from how fucking good he feels. His tongue is lapping you up, teasing your clit over and over again once he hits the sweet spot, his fingers leaving imprints on your thighs when he hears you whine and moan his name.

All San can think about is how fucking amazing you taste—he knew it would be another fucking level than pressing his nose against the fabric of your panties and fucking into his hand for the past few weeks, but actually letting you fuck his face? He’s on fucking cloud nine.

His glazed-out eyes shift to look up at you, watching the way you’re squirming under him, the sounds of his wet tongue fucking you, tasting you, echoing around his room. Your cream and pussy are the only things he can register, and he wants to keep it for himself, forever.

“S-San-“, you cry out, your mind just threatening to blank out at every flick of his tongue. He’s building your orgasm at such a dangerous pace, and tears are pooling at the corners of your eyes when you feel something funny bubbling at the pit of your stomach. “I think I’m gonna fuck-“

“That’s it. Let it go for me. That’s a good fucking girl”, San encourages, before his tongue presses against your clit, giving you another lick before white washes over you, your cunt pulsing violently against his tongue from the sheer pleasure, then clear fluids splattering onto San’s pretty face—who seemed unfazed, considering he’s still lapping your cunt up, while you’re almost thrashing above him as the overstimulation starts to sink in. Your moans sound like cries when you beg him to stop. San doesn’t relent, and he only stops when he suddenly whimpers, switching over to kiss your thighs, decorating your plump flesh with love bites. He pushes a finger in, letting you stain and coat his fingers, enjoying your whines before he pulls out and towers over you.

“Fuck, if I’d known you’d taste this good, I would have stolen your panties sooner”, he mutters, cleaning his fingers with his tongue, desperate to taste you again.

You’re catching your breath from going through the most mind-blowing orgasm, watching San pulling his shirt over his head, and then slipping out of his sweats, your breath caught in your throat when his fat cock comes into view, thick and heavy, and covered in thick cum.

San’s fingers curl around your neck, and he lowers himself to litter kisses across your neck and jaw, it’s giving you goosebumps, your arms automatically wrapping around his neck to pull him closer.

He pauses right at the shell of your ear.

“I want to wear you over and over again. I want to lock you up in me—bottle you up so I can keep you for myself.”

“Then do it. I’m here for you to dip into your pretty little fantasies in, San.”

You swear you see something snap in the poor male, especially from the way he takes a deep inhale—shakily— before he parts your lips with his, leaving you breathless when your little steamy make-out session ends.

“You don’t know what you do to me, darling”, San cautions when he pulls back. His hair is tousled but fuck, he still looks so fucking good. “And I’m not stopping even if you’re screaming.”

Fuck.

He fucks his hand, soft sighs leaving his lips, as his cum dribbles down his length, before he lines up to your hole and pushes in easily.

You hear him groan above you, your eyes are fixated on the way he’s losing himself in your pussy, and your mind is finally growing blank the more his cock fills you up. He’s stretching you open so fucking good, filling you up to the hilt.

“You’re squeezing me so much, darling. Fuck. Are you fucking kidding me?” His eyebrows are scrunched, his hands holding your legs up while he lets you adjust to his cock.

But he doesn’t warn you before he starts moving, his impatience completely overriding any ounce of rationale he has left in him.

“So good. San, you feel so fucking good”, your moans sounding like cries whenever his hips snap against yours, the obscene sounds only adding to the tension.

“You take me so fucking well, darling”, San’s voice is ringing in your ears. “Look at your fucking pussy just swallowing me up like that.”

You don’t even reply to that, your eyes are rolled to the back of your head, and your head is somewhere in fucking heaven where San is definitely fucking you into.

Just when you feel that you were about fucking fall apart on his cock, he pulls out, and you barely manage to catch your breath when San instructs you to turn over. You do, your ass up for him, and he enters your cunt once more, before fucking into you from the back. You don’t fucking know how, but you swear that his cock feels even thicker from the back.

His hands press against your hips, fucking you deep before he lets his hands slide down your body and he stops at your neck, gesturing you to look up at him as he leans down to press his lips against yours—all while rearranging your guts from the back.

He lets you pull back when you feel your neck is growing sore, and then he puts his body weight onto you, his arm tucking underneath your neck.

“Such a good fucking girl for me. You feel so fucking amazing”, San whispers, tickling every crevice of your brain as he presses his nose against the curve between your neck and shoulder, his thrusts turning more like ruts. The arm lock around your neck isn’t cutting off oxygen thankfully, but the thought of him choking you out only drags you closer to your high.

“Cumming, I’m cumming San-“, you whimper, tears trickling from your eyes from how much his cock is constantly hitting in such deep fucking spots of your pussy.

“Me too, babe. Gonna fill you up so nice and good, that’s what you’d like, right?” San teases, his cock twitching in you before he groans, his warm cum filling you up so good right at the same time your orgasm hits you once more, making you squeeze even more cum from San, perfectly milking him dry in your pussy.

“So fucking perfect”, you hear San mutter, and you can’t help but flush, even though he just fucked every ounce of sanity out of you. His lips trail down the nape of your neck, his eyes are locked onto you, hazy and tinted with a hint of a growing obsession you could never tell.

He’s not letting go of you.

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