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hopelesslys-world · 10 months

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50 SHADES OF FUCKED UP | CH.4

TRIGGER WARNINGS!: TOXIC RELATIONSHIP, reader is kind of a bimbo, heavily detailed smut, basically porn, loss of virginity, harsh language, anger issues, stalking, obsession, jealousy, controlling behaviour, DOM-SUB themes, BDSM Expand considered to be portrayed with incorrect/poor etiquette, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse/assault, statutory rape.

EXTRAS: Vomiting, alcohol !

Tell me if I missed anything...( As you can see most of the warnings will appear in future chapters. )

I apologize for any grammar mistakes...

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

Y/M/N: Your Middle Name

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*𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙋𝙊𝙑*

┅┅

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 concrete of the garage with its bleak fluorescent light, I speed towards Bella's car getting inside as if someone was chasing me.

What was I thinking? Unbidden and unwelcome incoming tears make my eyes water.

Why am I crying? I sink to the ground, angry at myself for this senseless reaction. I hide my face in my hands and wipe a stray tear off my cheek.

That is so embarrassing. I embarrassed myself out there thinking that we were going to kiss. I'm so stupid, being sad of something I never had. How ridiculous. Something that never was – my dashed hopes, dashed dreams, and my soured expectations.

I have never been on the receiving end of rejection. Okay… so I was always one of the last to be picked for basketball or volleyball – but I understood that – running and doing something else at the same time like bouncing or throwing a ball is not my thing. I am a serious liability in any sporting field.

Romantically, though, I’ve never put myself out there, ever. A lifetime of insecurity – I’m too pale, too skinny, too scruffy, uncoordinated, my long list of faults goes on. So I have always been the one to rebuff any would be admirers. There was that guy in my chemistry class who liked me, but no one has ever sparked my interest – no one except Christian damn Grey.

Maybe I should be kinder to the likes of Paul Clayton and José Rodriguez, though I’m sure neither of them have been found like me inside their car in a dark parking lot.

I should go home, do my studying. Forget about him and stop all this self-pitying, crap!!!

I take a deep, steadying breath and start the engine. I will not think of him again. I can just chalk this incident up to experience and concentrate on my exams.

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Bella is sitting at the dining table at her laptop when I arrive. Her welcoming smile fades when she sees me.

“Y/N/N what’s wrong?”

Oh no… not the Isabella Clark Inquisition. I shake my head at her in a back-off now Bella way – but I might as well be dealing with a blind, deaf mute.

“You’ve been crying,” she has an exceptional gift for stating the damned obvious sometimes. “What did that bastard do to you?” she growls, and her face – jeez, she’s scary.

“Nothing Bella.” That’s actually the problem. The thought brings a wry smile to my face.

“Then why have you been crying? You never cry,” she says, her voice softening. She stands, her green eyes brimming with concern. She puts her arms around me and hugs me.

I need to say something just to get her to back off. “I was nearly knocked over by a cyclist.” It’s the best that I can do, but it distracts her momentarily from… him.

“Jeez Y/N/N – are you okay? Were you hurt?” She holds me at arm’s length and does a quick visual check-up on me.

“No. Christian saved me,” I whisper. “But I was quite shaken.”

“I’m not surprised. How was coffee? I know you hate coffee.”

“I had tea. It was fine, nothing to report really. I don’t know why he asked me.”

“He likes you Y/N/N.” She drops her arms.

“Not anymore. I won’t be seeing him again.” Yes, I manage to sound matter of fact.

“Oh?”

Shit. She’s intrigued. I head into the kitchen so that she can’t see my face.

“Yeah… he’s a little out of my league Bella,” I say as dryly as I can manage.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh Bella, it’s obvious.” I whirl round and face her as she stands in the kitchen doorway.

“Not to me,” she says. “Okay, he’s got more money than you, but then he has more money than most people in America!”

“Bella he’s– ” I shrug.

“Y/N! For heaven’s sake – how many times must I tell you? You’re a total babe,” she interrupts me. She’s off on this tirade again.

“Bella, please. I need to study.” I cut her short. She frowns.

“Do you want to see the article? It’s finished. José took some great pictures.”

Do I need a visual reminder of the beautiful Christian I-don’t-want-you Grey?

“Sure,” I magic a smile on to my face and stroll over to the laptop. And there he is, staring at me in black and white, staring at me and finding me lacking.

I pretend to read the article, all the time meeting his steady gray gaze, searching the photo for some clue as to why he’s not the man for me – his own words to me. And it’s suddenly, blindingly obvious. He’s too gloriously good-looking. We are poles apart and from two very different worlds. His words make sense. He’s not the man for me.

This is what he meant, and it makes his rejection easier to accept… almost. I can live with this. I understand.

“Very good Bella,” I manage. “I’m going to study.” I am not going to think about him again for now, I vow to myself, and opening my revision notes, I start to read.

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It’s only when I’m in bed, trying to sleep, that I allow my thoughts to drift through my strange morning. I keep coming back to the ‘I don’t do the girlfriend thing’ quote, and I’m angry that I didn’t pounce on this information sooner, when I was in his arms mentally begging him with every fiber of my being to kiss me. He’d said it there and then. He didn’t want me as a girlfriend. I turn on to my side.

Idly, I wonder if perhaps he’s celibate? I close my eyes and begin to drift. Maybe he’s saving himself.

Well not for you, my sleepy subconscious has a final swipe at me before unleashing itself on my dreams.

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I put my pen down. Finished. My final exam is over. I feel the Cheshire cat grin spread over my face.

It’s Friday, and we'll be celebrating tonight, really celebrating. I might even get drunk! I’ve never been drunk before. I glance across the sports hall at Bella, and she’s still scribbling furiously, five minutes to the end. This is it, the end of my academic career.

I shall never have to sit in rows of anxious, isolated students again. Inside I’m doing graceful cartwheels around my head, knowing full well that’s the only place I can do graceful cartwheels.

Bella stops writing and puts her pen down. She glances across at me, and I catch her sly smile too.

We head back to our apartment together in her Mercedes, refusing to discuss our final paper. Bella is more concerned about what she’s going to wear to the bar this evening. I am busily fishing around in my purse for my keys.

“Y/N/N, there’s a package for you.” Bella is standing on the steps up to the front door holding a brown paper parcel. Odd. I haven’t ordered anything from Amazon recently. Bella gives me the parcel and takes my keys to open the front door.

It’s addressed to Miss Y/N Y/L/N. There’s no sender’s address or name. Perhaps it’s from my mom or Ray.

“It’s probably from my mom or dad.”

“Open it!” Bella is excited as she heads into the kitchen for our ‘Exams are finished celebration Champagne’.

I open the parcel, and inside I find a half leather box containing three seemingly identical old cloth-covered books in mint condition and a plain white card. Written on one side, in black ink in neat cursive handwriting, is:

Why didn't you tell me there was danger? Why didn't you warn me?

Ladies know what to guard against, because they read novels that tell them of these trisks...

I recognize the quote from Tess. I am stunned by the irony as I’ve just spent three hours writing about the novels of Thomas Hardy in my final examination. Perhaps there is no irony… perhaps it’s deliberate.

I inspect the books closely, three volumes of Tess of the D’Urbervilles. I open the front cover. Written in an old typeface on the front plate is:

‘London: Jack R. Osgood, McIlvaine and Co., 1891.’

Holy fuck - they are first editions. They must be worth a fortune, and I know immediately who’s sent them. Bella is at my shoulder gazing at the books. She picks up the card.

“First Editions,” I whisper.

“No way...” Bella’s eyes are wide with disbelief. “Grey?”

I nod. “Can’t think of anyone else.”

“What does this card mean?”

“I have no idea. I think it’s a warning – honestly he keeps warning me off. I have no idea why. It’s not like I’m beating his door down.” I frown.

“I know you don’t want to talk about him, Y/N/N, but he’s seriously into you. Warnings or no.”

I have not let myself dwell on Christian Grey for the past week. Okay…I know it will take an eternity to expunge the feel of his arms around me and his wonderful fragrance from my brain. Why has he sent me this?

He told me that I wasn’t for him.

“I’ve found one Tess first edition for sale in New York at $14,000. But yours looks in much better condition. They must have cost more.” Bella is consulting her good friend Google.

“This quote – Tess says it to her mother after Alec D’Urberville has had his wicked way with her.”

“I know,” muses Bella. “What is he trying to say?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. I can’t accept these from him. I’ll send them back with an equally baffling quote from some obscure part of the book.”

“The bit where Angel Clare says fuck off?” Bella asks with a completely straight face.

“Yes, that bit.” I giggle. I love Bella, she’s so loyal and supportive. I repack the books and leave them on the dining table. She hands me a glass of champagne.

“To the end of exams and our new life in Seattle,” she grins.

“To the end of exams, our new life in Seattle, and excellent results.” We clink glasses and drink.

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The bar is loud and hectic, full of soon to be graduates out to get trashed. José joins us. He won’t graduate for another year, but he’s in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all.

As I down my fifth, I know this is not a good idea on top of the champagne.

“So what now Y/N/N?” José shouts at me over the noise.

“Bella and I are moving to Seattle. Her parents have bought a condo there for her.”

“But you’ll be back for my show, right?”

“Of course, José, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I smile, and he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close.

“It means a lot to me that you’ll be there Y/N/N,” he whispers in my ear. “Another margarita?”

“José Luis Rodriguez – are you trying to get me drunk? Because I think it’s working.” I giggle. “I think I’d better have a beer. I’ll go get us a pitcher.”

“More drinks, Y/N/N!” Bella bellows.

Bella has the constitution of an ox. She’s got her arm draped over Levi, one of our fellow English students and her usual photographer on her student newspaper. He’s given up taking photos of the drunkenness that surrounds him. He only has eyes for her. She’s in a stunning red dress that hugs her curves perfectly with black high heels and curls that reach her back elegantly.

Me, I’m in my usual skirt outfit but Bella made it more 'club like' and I love it, I feel very comfortable.

I move out of José’s hold and get up from our table. Whoa. Head spin. I have to grab the back of the chair. Tequila based cocktails are not a good idea.

I make my way to the bar and decide that I should visit the restroom while I am on my feet.

Good thinking, Y/N. I stagger off through the crowd. Of course, there’s a line, but at least it’s quiet and cool in the corridor. I reach for my cell phone to relieve the boredom of waiting in line.

Hmm… Who did I last call? Was it José? Before that a number I don’t recognize. Oh yes. Grey, I think this is his number. I giggle. I have no idea what the time is, maybe I’ll wake him. Perhaps he can tell me why he sent me those books and the crypticmessage.

If he wants me to stay away, he should leave me alone. I suppress a drunken grin and hit the automatic re-dial. He answers on the second ring. “Y/N?” He’s surprised to hear from me. Well, frankly, I’m surprised to ring him.

Then my befuddled brain registers… how does he know it’s me? “Why did you send me the books?” I slur at him.

“Y/N, are you okay? You sound strange.” His voice is filled with concern.

“I’m not the strange one, you are,” I accuse. My courage fuelled by alcohol.

“Y/N, have you been drinking?”

“What’s it to you?”

“I’m...curious. Where are you?”

“In a bar.”

“Which bar?” He sounds exasperated.

“A bar in Portland.”

“How are you getting home?”

“I’ll find a way.” This conversation is not going how I expected.

“Which bar are you in?”

“Why did you send me the books, Christian?”

“Y/N, where are you, tell me now.” His tone is so, so dictatorial, his usual control freak.

He's a freak. The thought makes me laugh.“You’re so… domineering,” I giggle.

“Where the fuck are you?” He asked angrily.

Christian Grey is swearing at me. I giggle again. “I’m in Portland… s’a long way from Seattle s'a long way from your bizarre ass.”

“Where in Portland?”

“Goodnight, Christian.”

“Y/N!”

I hang up. Ha! Though he didn’t tell me about the books. I frown. Mission not accomplished. I am really quite drunk - my head swims uncomfortably as I shuffle with the line. Well, the object of the exercise was to get drunk. I have succeeded. This is what it’s like – probably not an experience to be repeated.

The line has moved, and it’s now my turn. I stare blankly at the poster on the back of the toilet door that extols the virtues of safe sex.

Fuck, did I just call Christian Grey? Shit. My phone rings and it makes me jump. I yelp in surprise. “Hi,” I bleat timidly in to the phone. I hadn’t reckoned on this.

“I’m coming to get you,” he says and hangs up. Only Christian Grey could sound so calm and so threatening at the same time.

What the hell. I pull my skirt up. My heart is thumping. Coming to get me?

Oh no. I’m going to be sick… no… I’m fine. Hang on. He’s just messing with my head. I didn’t tell him where I was. He can’t find me here. Besides, it will take him hours to get here from Seattle, and we’ll be long gone by then. I wash my hands and check my face in the mirror.

I look flushed and slightly unfocused. Hmm… tequila.

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*𝘾𝙃𝙍𝙄𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘼𝙉'𝙎 𝙋𝙊𝙑*

┅┅

The bar is crowded, full of students determined to have a good time. There’s some indie crap thumping over the sound system and the dance floor is crowded with heaving bodies.

It makes me feel old.

She’s here somewhere.

Elliot has followed me in through the front door. “Do you see her?” he shouts over the noise.

Scanning the room, I spot Isabella Clark. She’s with a group of friends, all of them men, sitting in a booth. There’s no sign of Y/N, but the table is littered with shot glasses and tumblers of beer.

Well, let’s see if Miss Clark is as loyal to her friend as Y/N is to her. She looks at me in surprise when we arrive at her table.

“Isabella,” I say by way of greeting, and she interrupts me before I can ask her Y/N’s whereabouts.

“Christian, what a surprise to see you here,” she shouts above the noise. The three guys at the table regard Elliot and me with hostile wariness.

“I was in the neighborhood.”

“And who’s this?” She smiles rather too brightly at Elliot, interrupting me again. What an exasperating woman.

“This is my brother Elliot. Elliot, Isabella Clark. Where’s Y/N?”

Her smile broadens at Elliot, and I’m surprised by his answering grin.

“I think she went outside for some fresh air, she responds, but she doesn’t look at me. She has eyes only for Mr. Love ’Em and Leave ’Em. Well, it’s her funeral.

“Outside? Where?” I shout.

“Oh. That way.” She points to double doors at the far end of the bar.

Pushing through the throng, I make my way to the door, leaving the three disgruntled men and Clark and Elliot engaged in a grin-off.

Through the double doors there is a line for the ladies’ washroom, and beyond that a door that’s open to the outside. It’s at the back of the bar. Ironically, it leads to the parking lot where Elliot and I have just been.

Walking outside, I find myself in a gathering space adjacent to the parking lot—a hangout flanked by raised flowerbeds, where a few people are smoking, drinking, chatting. Making out. I spot her.

Fucking hell. She’s with the photographer, I think, though it’s difficult to tell in the dim light. She’s in his arms, but she seems to be twisting away from him. He mutters something to her, which I don’t hear, and kisses her, along her jaw.

“José, no,” she says, and then it’s clear. She’s trying to push him off. She doesn’t want this.

For a moment I want to rip his head off. With my hands fisted at my side I march up to them. “I think the lady said no.” My voice carries, cold and sinister, in the relative quiet, while I struggle to contain my anger.

He releases Y/N and she squints at me with a dazed, drunken expression.

“Grey,” he says, his voice terse, and it takes every ounce of my self-control not to smash the disappointment off his face.

Y/N heaves, then buckles over and vomits on the ground.

Oh, shit!

“Ugh—Dios mío, Y/N/N!” José leaps out of the way in disgust.

Fucking idiot.

Ignoring him, I grab her hair and hold it out of the way as she continues to throw up everything she’s had this evening. It’s with some annoyance that I note she doesn’t appear to have eaten. With my arm around her shoulders I lead her away from the curious onlookers toward one of the flowerbeds.

“If you’re going to throw up again, do it here. I’ll hold you.” It’s darker here. She can puke in peace. She vomits again and again, her hands on the brick. It’s pitiful. Once her stomach is empty, she continues to retch, long dry heaves.

Boy, she’s got it bad.

Finally her body relaxes and I think she’s finished. Releasing her, I give her my handkerchief, which by some miracle I have in the inside pocket of my jacket.

Thank you, Mrs. Jones.

Wiping her mouth, she turns and rests against the bricks, avoiding eye contact because she’s ashamed and embarrassed. And yet I’m so pleased to see her. Gone is my fury at the photographer. I’m delighted to be standing in the parking lot of a student bar in Portland with Miss Y/N Y/L/N.

She puts her head in her hands, cringes, then peeks up at me, still mortified. Turning to the door, she glares over my shoulder. I assume it’s at her “friend.”

“I’ll, um, see you inside,” José says, but I don’t turn to stare him down, and to my favour, she ignores him, too, returning her eyes to mine.

“I’m sorry,” she says finally, while her fingers twist the soft linen.

Okay, let’s have some fun.

“What are you sorry for, Y/N?”

“The phone call, mainly. Being sick. The list goes on,” she mumbles.

“We’ve all been here, perhaps not quite as dramatically as you.” Why is it such fun to tease this young woman? “It’s about knowing your limits, Y/N. I mean, I’m all for pushing limits, but really this is beyond the pale. Do you make a habit of this kind of behavior?”

Perhaps she has a problem with alcohol. The thought is worrying, and I consider whether I should call my mother for a referral to a detox clinic.

Y/N frowns for a moment, as if angry, that little v forming between her brows, and I suppress the urge to kiss it. But when she speaks she sounds contrite.

“No,” she says. “I’ve never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again.” She looks up at me, her eyes unfocused, and she sways a little. She might pass out, so without giving it a thought I scoop her up into my arms.

She’s surprisingly light. Too light. The thought irks me. No wonder she’s drunk.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“I need to tell Bella,” she says, as her head rests on my shoulder.

“My brother can tell her.”

“What?”

“My brother Elliot is talking to Miss Clark”

“Oh?”

“He was with me when you called.”

“In Seattle?”

“No, I’m staying at The Heathman.” And my wild-goose chase has paid off.

“How did you find me?”

“I tracked your cell phone, Y/N.” I head toward the car. I want to drive her home. “Do you have a jacket or a purse?”

“Er…yes, I came with both. Christian, please, I need to tell Bella. She’ll worry.”

I stop and bite my tongue. Clark wasn’t worried about her being out here with the overamorous photographer. Rodriguez. That’s his name. What kind of friend is she? The lights from the bar illuminate her anxious face.

As much as it pains me, I put her down and agree to take her inside. Holding hands, we walk back into the bar, stopping at Bella’s table. One of the young men is still sitting there, looking annoyed and abandoned.

“Where’s Bella?” Y/N shouts above the noise.

“Dancing,” the guy says, his dark eyes staring at the dance floor. She collects her leather black coat and purse and, reaching out, she unexpectedly clutches my arm.

I freeze.

Shit.

My heart rate catapults into overdrive as the darkness surfaces, stretching and tightening its claws around my throat.

“She’s on the dance floor,” she shouts, her words tickling my ear, distracting me from my fear. And suddenly the darkness disappears and the pounding in my heart ceases.

What?

I roll my eyes to hide my confusion and take her to the bar, order a large glass of water, and pass it to her.

“Drink.”

Eyeing me over the glass, she takes a tentative sip.

“All of it,” I command. I’m hoping this will be enough damage control to avoid one hell of a hangover tomorrow.

What might have happened to her if I hadn’t intervened? My mood sinks.

And I think of what just happened to me. Her touch. My reaction.

My mood plummets further.

Y/N sways a little as she’s drinking, so I steady her with a hand on her shoulder. I like the connection—me touching her.

She finishes her drink, and retrieving the glass, I place it on the bar. Okay. She wants to talk to her so-called friend. I survey the crowded dance floor, uneasy at the thought of all those bodies pressing in on me as we fight our way through.

Steeling myself, I grab her hand and lead her toward the dance floor. She hesitates, but if she wants to talk to her friend, there’s only one way; she’s going to have to dance with me. Once Elliot gets his groove on, there’s no stopping him; so much for his quiet night in.

With a tug, she’s in my arms.

This I can handle. When I know she’s going to touch me, it’s okay. I can deal, especially since I’m wearing my jacket. I weave us through the crowd to where Elliot and Bella are making a spectacle of themselves.

Still dancing, Elliot leans toward me in mid-strut when we’re beside him and sizes us up with a look of incredulity.

“I’m taking Y/N home. Tell Bella,” I shout in his ear.

He nods and pulls Clark into his arms.

Right. Let me take Miss Drunk Bookworm home, but for some reason she seems reluctant to go. She’s watching Clark with concern. When we’re off the dance floor she looks back at Bella, then at me, swaying and a little dazed.

“Fuck—” By some miracle I catch her as she passes out in the middle of the bar. I’m tempted to haul her over my shoulder, but we’d be too conspicuous, so I pick her up once more, cradling her against my chest, and take her outside to the car.

“Christ,” I mutter as I fish the key out of my jeans and hold her at the same time. Amazingly, I manage to get her into the front seat and strap her in.

“Y/N.” I give her a little shake, because she’s worryingly quiet. “Y/N!”

She mumbles something incoherent and I know she’s still conscious. I know I should take her home, but it’s a long drive to Vancouver, and I don’t know if she’ll be sick again. I don’t relish the idea of my Audi reeking of vomit. The smell emanating from her clothes is already noticeable.

I head to The Heathman, telling myself that I’m doing this for her sake.

Yeah, tell yourself that, Grey.

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She sleeps in my arms as we travel up in the elevator from the garage. I need to get her out of her skirt and her shoes. The stale stench of vomit pervades the space. I’d really like to give her a bath, but that would be stepping beyond the bounds of propriety.

And this isn’t?

In my suite, I drop her purse on the sofa, then carry her into the bedroom and lay her down on the bed. She mumbles once more but doesn’t wake. Briskly I remove her shoes and put them in the plastic laundry bag provided by the hotel. Then I unzip her skirt and pull it off stuffing the piece of clothing in the laundry bag.

She falls back on the bed, splayed out like a starfish, all pale arms and legs, and for a moment I picture those legs wrapped around my waist as her wrists are bound to my Saint Andrew’s cross.

I sit her up and she opens her eyes. “Hello, Y/N,” I whisper, as I remove her jacket slowly and without her cooperation.

“Grey. Kiss,” she mutters.

“Yes, sweetheart.” I ease her down onto the bed. She closes her eyes again and rolls onto her side, but this time huddles into a ball, looking small and vulnerable. I pull the covers over her and plant a kiss in her hair.

Now that her filthy clothes have gone, a trace of her scent has reappeared. Apples, fall, fresh, delicious…Y/N. Her lips are parted, eyelashes fanning out over pale cheeks, and her skin looks flawless. One more touch is all I allow myself as I stroke her cheek with the back of my index finger.

“Sleep well,” I murmur, and then head into the living room to complete the laundry list. When it’s done, I place the offending bag outside my suite so the contents will be collected and laundered.

Before I check my e-mails I text Welch, asking him to see if José Rodriguez has any police records. I’m curious. I want to know if he preys on drunk young women. Then I address the issue of clothes for Miss Y/L/N: I send a quick e-mail to Taylor.

•••

From: Christian Grey

RE: Miss Anastasia Steele

Date: May 20, 2023 23:46

To: J B Taylor.

——

Can you please find the following items for Miss Steele and have them delivered to my usual room before 10:00.

Skirt: Black Size 4

Shirt: White. Pretty. Size 4

Boots: Black Size 7

Socks: Size 7

Lingerie: Underwear—Size Small. Bra—Estimate 36C

Thank you.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

•••

Once it’s disappeared from my outbox, I text Elliot.

Y/N is with me. If you’re still with Bella, tell her.

He texts by return.

Will do. Hope you get laid. You soooo need it. ;)

His response makes me snort.

I so do, Elliot. I so do.

I open my work e-mail and begin to read.

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Nearly two hours later, I come to bed. It’s just after 1:45. She’s fast asleep and hasn’t moved from where I left her. I strip, pull on my pajama pants and a T-shirt, and climb in beside her. She’s comatose; it’s unlikely she’s going to thrash around and touch me.

I hesitate for a moment as the darkness swells within me, but it doesn’t surface and I know it’s because I’m watching the hypnotic rise and fall of her chest and I’m breathing in sync with her.

In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. For seconds, minutes, hours, I don’t know, I watch her. And while she sleeps I survey every beautiful inch of her lovely face. Her dark lashes fluttering while she sleeps, her lips slightly parted so I glimpse her even white teeth.

She mutters something unintelligible and her tongue darts out and licks her lips. It’s arousing, very arousing. Finally I fall into a deep and dreamless slumber.

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[ series masterlist ]

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPAM WITH LIKES AND COMMENTS. I WOULD ALSO APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD REBLOG THIS POST <3

#christian grey #christian grey fanfic #christian grey smut #christian grey x reader #christian grey x yn #christian grey x you #smut #50 shades of gray #jamie dornan #christian grey series #dark themes

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youredreamingofroo · 3 months

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The Roo-seum...

group pics and other stuff under the cut! (just to avoid flooding the dash lmao)

CAS pics in the NEXT POST

Now onto me ranting.

The Roo-seum is a 16 sim project that's consumed me for the last couple of days (in a good way), this explores most of Roo's lifespan (not implying he's dead LMAO), from the age of 9 years old, up to now, 28 years old, talking about what he went through for each year (for the most part anyways), of course, I didn't start at 1 or 2 years old, mainly because, way back when I made all of these Roo's (roughly back in July '23, this is not an idea that suddenly sparked, I only acted on it because I have a way to show off each age that isn't a Picrew lmao... I can't draw well so I just used TS4), I made them in Picrew, which... at the time couldn't find a Picrew with kids/babies so the youngest I went was around 9 years old, and just built up from there.

Roo is my persona gone OC, around 5 or 6 years ago, I put on this persona of "Roo", which started as "The Unfortunate Roo" and Roo's (or Mine, since this was technically a Persona, doubling as an OC) design was COMPLETELY different back then, He wasn't a he, the design was a sucubus I think, I don't really recall and I really couldn't care for it, it's embarrassing 💀 I don't remember how he came to fruition, but I remember finding this one picrew that I LOVED, and I used that picrew to create ~Roo~, his initial design was akin to the 22-23 year old Roo, there's a lot about his design that I could talk about but will avoid doing so, but just know that his Sims design isn't super on the dot to what his actual design is supposed to look like.

So... what's Piametia?? Why did you come up with that?? How did you come up with that?? To be honest, I never actually came up with a name up until yesterday when writing the note for 10-12 year old Roo, I don't really remember what sparked me to come up with a condition that "has the Patient suffer a sudden loss or gain in pigmentation and melanin in the eyes and hair," I guess 17 year old me thought it was cool, and it is! It opened up a new story for him, where I couldn't provide story (for someone without Piametia), like how being affected by Piametia caused him to go from extremely accepting of himself, to getting bullied into "normalizing himself," While he achieved this, it was really in vain, because he was still bullied for his condition, but as he grew older, out of his teen years and into adulthood, it bothered him less and less, because, well, shit like that doesn't fucking matter, sure it still bothered him, sure it still traumatized him to some degree, but it's just what some stupid kids say, it doesn't determine what his worth is, and he understands that, so after recovering from almost ending his life, he realized that something had to change, he couldn't live in this wallowing ball of agony because some kids determined "hey! That kid is different! They're no longer as cool as we are! Get him!!"

I should also mention that he didn't develop Piametia til he was around 9 years old, which is exactly what the condition does, it's genetic (although it never occurred in Reese or Virginia, the only reasonable conclusion was that it skipped a generation) and it's drilled into the person's DNA and only takes effect before puberty (in the average kid). So Roo was considered a part of the other kids' little cliques and stuff, but only until his hair and eyes changed color.

I kind of hyped this up to be something extravagant and maybe it is, idk, I don't have the eyes of the audience, I'm just a guy who made this and I have a rather critical view of my work sometimes, I try not to, but force of habit lmao. I really liked making this because Roo is an OC who has grown with me, mainly because he's both a persona of me while also being an OC, so where I change and grow, he often reflects that change and growth, in his own ways of course, I often wish he was real, but he's not and that's the harsh reality. Also gonna clarify that his life does NOT completely reflect mine, I'm only 18, he's ten years older then me lmao, where he was 8 I was 10 years to be conceived- Roo is still his own character, he's had his own relationships, all of which have went poorly (reflecting my own), and even had his own stalker (which escalated)- But parts of his life like when he became extremely homophobic of himself and who he truly was is not reflective of myself, I never had that stage in life (whether you did or not however is not a bad thing unless your actually just homophobic, then gtfo like?? 😭).

I went on a rant there, and I probably could've kept going, but figured I should stop at some point lol, but I hope you guys like this, I sure LOVED making this and I love doing Roo related things and posts. I also provided text in the image descriptions in case it's hard to read in the images (I tried to keep it as clear and readable as possible), and in case anyone who uses a screen-reader finds this post :)

#tw sui mention #tw sui talk #outside of the group pics i feel like the poses dont make too much sense #but I also originally planned to have a full 16 sim lineup so... yea #I think the poses do match the Roo tho esp since I did try to make the poses match their personality at the time #Roo #Rooseum #ts4 #ts4 simblr #sims 4 #simblr #the sims 4 #blender #sims 4 blender #ts4 blender #ts4 render #sims 4 render #blender render

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janaknandini-singh999 · 8 months

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Modern Day Lord Ram (girl version)

Part 2

Janeshvari gleamed softly in her unbuttoned, golden shirt swaying softly which was layered over her bright red top, hands on hips and olive cargo pants. Her hair were combed and neatly tied into braids. She had such a way of always looking so prim and proper even in the most casual of outfits and settings, they all wondered how she managed it so effortlessly. Harini stood panting aside her in a simple maroon vest and white shorts, her hair tied up firmly because of the heat but some strands coming astray as Janeshvari smiled, gently tucking them behind her ear. They were standing by the peepal tree in a clearing by a gali, a blackboard behind them. They turned towards the children sitting intently in front of them, notebooks and pencils keenly in their hands.

It was Harini's idea to teach these children who couldn't afford to go to school, Janeshvari, as always fully supporting her in all her decisions and helping. She had also started an initiative for them: self defence classes after the studying ones. The children roared with vigour. Chiranjeevi was their head.

"That's all lessons for today, kids! You all are dismissed." Janeshvari waved, as they all sang "Thank YOU" and scrambled to their homes.

"It's been a while." Harini's eyes sparked as they met with Janeshvari's as soon as they were alone.

Before Janeshvari could protest, Harini dashed to the tree and produced two wooden swords from behind the trunk. A long one, and a much shorter one. She threw the former to Janeshvari.

"My finesse lies in archery, darling. Close range has always been the last reserve for me." Janeshvari caught it, sighing but appreciating her partner's energy all the same "And besides, I've taught you all there is to teach."

"All knowledge is useless unless put to use." Harini echoed the words Janeshvari had once told her as she lowered her body like a cat and came into position.

She pounced and attacked, slashing and hitting again and again and again. Janeshvari parried all the bows as she thought to herself "she's being too aggressive." but she didn't have the time to ponder on it as the hits kept on coming. Suddenly, seeing something quick in a flash, Janeshvari finally attacked and Harini's arm made a long arch with her weapon as it sounded like something fell.

"You're disarmed. It's over" Janeshvari grinned "Look here now, you gave me an opening and-"

Harini suddenly grinned back and strangely, slowly shook her hand as she pointed below. Janeshvari's eyes widened. The short blade had never fallen out of Harini's grip, as it was aimed sharply at Janeshvari's stomach right now. In a real battle, this would've been a death blow.

The thing which had fallen was something else and Harini cleverly took it as cover.

Amazing.

Instinctively, Janeshvari bowed at her. Harini placed her hands on her shoulder and made her stand upright, as she herself bent down to touch Janeshvari's feet. She gasped and stepped back.

"There is no shame in touching one's guru's feet. Don't deprive me of the blessings." Harini looked up and smiled

"The feeling of admiration is mutual. It has been my honour teaching you. Har Har Mahadev." Janeshvari folded her hands and smiled back

"Har Har Mahadev. Jai Durge!" Harini, an ardent mata devotee, thumped her fist on her chest; also implying in her own way that Shiv was incomplete without his shakti.

"Jai Durge." Janeshvari echoed back softly

Next day at school, everyone was seething and settling in their seats but there was something amiss. A cold air of scare was in everyone's breath. The biggest bully, Ravi, was in a very bad mood. After yesterday's bad result of his, he had been thrashed by his father. He was likely to take out his terrifying anger on someone today.

"Who are the beasts responsible for this condition of mine? WHO ARE THE TOPPERS HERE!!!?" his voice thundered

It was pin drop silence, everybody looked at each other. Janeshvari was nowhere to be seen. But Harini, peacefully ignorant of the happenings, had her headphones on with full blast and was doing her homework. Ravi's predatory eyes fell on her. He slowly advanced towards her.

In a flash, he was at her desk and bashed piercingly across her face, it echoed like a powerful gong and Harini fell, no idea what just hit her. Her vision blurred and head spun as she slowly sensed her nose bleeding. Even in that state, she got up, almost falling again with the pain that covered all her head and balled her fists, clenching her jaw and hissing, looking around frantically.

Ravi suddenly came out from behind her and one sharp knock on the back of her head and she was out, cold.

"Jan-" she breathed out, lain on the floor shivering, before the darkness took her over.

Everyone was staring and gasping but suddenly went completely quiet as they sensed something else coming. A real storm this time.

"RAVI!" an almost godly furious voice rang out. All of their hearts briefly halted upon seeing Janeshvari, their calm hermit-like girl in this form. Always avoiding violence and being the peacemaker, she looked like the embodiment of war itself right now.

Janeshvari emerged and made her way to the monster, whispering in his ears "If you had harmed me, I would've left you alone. But you touched Harini. The fates definitely had the worst death in history written for you which I will give to you, don't you worry."

Ravi laughed, a piercing, horrid and sadistic laughter and opened his mouth to say something as Janeshvari twisted his arms around, kicking him down as she sat on top of him with bloodshot eyes, shuddering with raw rage.

The door banged open and a huge woman walked in. She was the principal.

"ENOUGH!" She bellowed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JANESHVARI? You have laid a hand on the minister's son. You are expelled."

Janeshvari stood up, brushing herself off, her eyes lowered and the careful serenity in them again, which seemed too eerie now. Before anyone could say anything else, she quietly picked up her bag and took her leave.

Harini was carried home in Janeshvari's arms. As soon she woke up and got to know about what had happened, she groaned badly and forced Janeshvari to leave.

"But, Harini-"

"Give me some space please." Harini whispered through gritted teeth "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Without arguing further, Janeshvari immediately left. Something in her gut shouting at her but she had to stifle it as she bit her lip to prevent herself from crying and ran home.

In the meanwhile, Harini had been thinking something and finally came on a decision. It was intense and had to be done tonight. And after it, there would be no going back. She waited for it to strike midnight and crept out.

She reached Ravi's house and broke inside silently. As soon as she reached Ravi's room, she bolted the door and went to him.

"Who- WHO'S THAT?" Before Ravi could turn on the lights, Harini muffled his mouth and started beating him up. She finished the work Janeshvari had left as she aimed at a particular joint in his arms, hearing a satisfying crack. Ravi almost screamed but was shut up by her again. He struggled around the room in her chokehold but managed to get a slash through her jaw with his other arm after getting hold of his scissors which were kept on his table along with other stationery. Harini screamed and Ravi's parents came into the room. She made a run for it before any of them could make a move.

The following day, she was expelled too.

She joined Janeshvari at their spot by the tree, the rays of the sunrise shining through its branches.

"You didn't have to." Janeshvari said. She knew what had happened.

"No need to stand up for me if you can't expect me to do the same for you." Harini smiled sadly, looking at Janeshvari whose eyes were filled with tears. She couldn't even bear to look at her. Oh, no. It pained Harini instantly.

Harini cupped her face and moved it to look at her, wiping her tears away gently.

"Will you not even look at me now that this has spoilt my face forever?" Harini turned her head slightly to the side to reveal the scar lurking on the jaw, which she had received from Ravi. It sure wasn't visible at first glance from afar but undeniably there if you took in her features long enough. It was still gruesomely red but healing now.

Janeshvari blinked her lotus eyes and kissed her scar, shaking her head and smiling "No. It is a glorious mark. You're the most beautiful, courageous soul I've ever known. It's just.. the society won't accept us. I may also have to part from you. What then? You wish to be by my side always but the path I tread on is full of thorns. I don't want you to get hurt again and again. I won't be able to bear it or ever forgive myself."

"As long as I have the chant of your name on my tongue and ShivShakti in my heart, no force can drive us apart. I'd give a million agnipariksha if I have to, and emerge stronger than ever before each time with the power of your love." A wild fire flourishing in her eyes, her head held high, each word of hers landing from heart to heart like the arrows from Janeshvari's majestic bow "My soul is yours till the last breath of every lifetime I'm born in. For all I care, I shall be blissful living in a forest outcasted far away from the world as long as you are alive in my memories, always.

You can count on me, my love.

I will not break."

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thenerdykneazle · 3 months

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Sallow Soul - Forgiveness

Summary: Sebastian decides he can't accept MC being gone and does his best to follow her home.

Sebastian Sallow x F!MC

Warnings: 18+, sexually explicit content, aged-up characters, angst, toxic relationship, a dash of grieving

Word count: 10,605

Read on AO3. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. MC's perspective (Kindred Spirits).

Part 5: Forgiveness

The pub door swung shut heavily behind Sofia. “She went home home? As in back to the UK?” she asked.

“Precisely,” Sebastian replied in a flat tone.

He felt numb. He barely noticed the wind biting his face. He didn’t even end up crying. He was exhausted. He’d done his best to fix things, hadn’t he? It just wasn’t enough. He had compounded too many mistakes, and he couldn’t make up for it. MC might’ve taken the words back, but, in the end, he wasn’t worth another try.

“Sepe?” Sofia asked softly.

He turned to her dully. “Hm?” he asked.

“Are you…okay?” she asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, course,” he replied, quickly putting on a brave face. “Just…surprised.”

Sofia nodded despite the fact that both of them knew she didn’t believe him. “She thought a lot about you the night she stayed in my hotel suite. We spent some time together before I left. She was very upset over your…more careless decisions.”

Sebastian didn’t need to ask to clarify what she meant. “I know it was stupid. Part of me wanted to make her jealous. Mostly, I just wanted to feel something.”

“You hurt her quite a lot,” she said, looking thoroughly disappointed in him. It stung worse than he’d have expected.

“It’s not like she wasn’t bringing people back, too,” Sebastian said defensively.

Sofia arched a brow at him. “And how did that make you feel?”

He scoffed. “Like shite,” he said bitterly.

She looked at him expectantly. “So, how do you think she felt?” she pressed when he didn’t continue.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over himself. It was equally to shield himself from the cold air as it was to show his disagreement. “It wasn’t the same. I mean, I’m sure it pissed her off, but it’s not like it was devastating for her. I’m sure you already know I never stopped loving her. But she couldn’t’ve thought less of me when she got here. The pain of that’s the only reason I…sought such comfort in the first place. She just…doesn’t feel the same about me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Sofia asked, a manicured brow arched high in question.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at her, trying to determine if she was really asking or trying to tell him.

“Because I wouldn’t be,” she continued, eliminating his lingering doubt.

“Are you t-telling me information you g-gathered reading her thoughts? Because that’s n-not very ethical, i-is it?” he asked. The chill finally settling in, making him shiver.

“MC seems like a nice girl. But you’re my friend, Sepe. Today was the happiest I’ve seen you since I’ve known you. She seems to love you too, but she’s scared,” Sofia said. “You’ve just got to be honest with yourself about whether she should be. I’ll admit that your recent actions worry me, but I know you’re a good man.”

Sebastian’s head was spinning. MC really did love him? She’d been convincing when she said it, but it was the heat of the moment. And then she disappeared. But if Sofia was convinced, then he figured it had to be true.

“Do you r-really think she’d give me an-nother chance?” Sebastian asked.

Sofia shrugged. “Even I can’t predict the future. But, in my experience, people don’t get that hurt unless it was by someone they truly cared about.”

The assertion crushed Sebastian’s chest at the same time it lit a spark of hope in it. He hadn’t realised he was causing MC as much pain as he was feeling. He’d been reckless. He vowed to himself that wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“Thank you,” Sebastian said before seizing Sofia’s shoulders and kissing her cheek.

“You won’t be thanking me if you hurt her again,” she replied in a warning tone. “Like I said, she’s a nice girl. Don’t make me regret betraying her thoughts.”

“I won’t,” Sebastian promised.

He rushed inside the pub and back to the table.

“I need your help,” he told Niko, who had been mid-conversation with Henri.

Niko turned to his friend, his features drawing in concern when he noticed Sebastian’s panicked eyes. “Okay. With what?” he replied.

“I’ll explain on the way,” Sebastian said urgently, waving a hand to urge him to his feet.

Without bothering to collect his cloak, he apparated them back to the Headquarters. He resisted the urge to sprint – he had learned the hard way that you cannot run in a law enforcement office without freaking everyone out – and powerwalked to Teräväinen’s office. Niko hurried alongside him.

“What’s going on?” Niko asked urgently.

Sebastian explained as succinctly as possible that MC had gone back to England, and Sebastian needed to find her. His best method was to break into Teräväinen’s office and find her file, which would have her address. Then he could beg her on his knees to give him just one more chance.

“You want me to help you stalk her?” Niko asked incredulously.

“No, I want you to help me find her,” Sebastian said. “Stalking is repeated and causes fear.”

Niko rolled his eyes but kept shuffling along with Sebastian. “Not a great sign if you’re being pedantic about stalking. And stealing her file is still illegal,” he pointed out. “At the very least, you’ll be fired if you’re caught.”

Sebastian shrugged. “I’m quitting anyway,” he stated.

That made Niko stop in his tracks. “You’re what?”

Sebastian turned to face him. He didn’t have time for this. “Quitting. Effective immediately. I can’t stay here anymore. MC is in England. Ominis is in Scotland. My sister’s grave is there. Everyone I was ever friends with is there. Even if she won’t–” Sebastian had to take a steadying breath. “Even if she doesn’t take me back, I have to go. This isn’t me. I’ve been hiding from everyone for too long.”

Niko gave an indignant sniff. “All your friends are there, huh?”

Sebastian’s shoulders went slack. “Mate, that’s not what I meant,” he said. “You’ve been a great friend. Truly. I just…if I let myself stop and mourn what I’m losing here, then I might lose my nerve. I wish I could take you with me, but you belong here as much as I belong there. The things I went through with Ominis and MC…if there’s a chance I could have them back in my life, I have to take it.”

Niko nodded before giving Sebastian a watery smile. “I told you she had you whipped,” he joked.

Sebastian laughed. “Yeah…yeah, you did,” he agreed. “So, you’ll help me?”

“Yeah, I’ll help,” Niko confirmed. “You’d be even more mopey than you were when we started as junior aurori if you stayed. I don’t think any of us should be subjected to that.”

Sebastian denied having been that bad as they continued on their way down the hall. Niko convinced him that he should be the one to get MC’s file, while Sebastian talked to Teräväinen about his resignation. Sebastian was hesitant to let Niko accept that risk, but he eventually agreed that the plan made the most sense.

Niko disillusioned himself, and Sebastian went into the office. He asked Teräväinen if they could go for a walk to talk about something important. While they stepped out, Niko slipped into the office. Sebastian explained his decision to resign and handed over his badge. Teräväinen was rather caught off guard. He was far from thrilled, but he was surprisingly understanding.

“Does this have anything to do with that young auror Abbott sent to train with us?” he asked.

Sebastian hardly needed to answer when his stained cheeks did so for him.

The older wizard smiled. “I thought it might.”

“I know you probably think I’m just a lovesick fool,” Sebastian said. He admired the man, and his opinion mattered to him.

“Yes, I do,” he replied bluntly. His white moustache crinkled as he smirked. “It’s a wonderful thing, to be young, dumb, and in love, isn’t it?”

Sebastian’s brow furrowed in both confusion and contemplation. “I suppose so, Sir,” he said tentatively.

Teräväinen patted Sebastian’s shoulder before giving it a firm squeeze. “Can I give you a parting word of advice?”

“Yes, Sir,” Sebastian said. He never would’ve denied his superior the opportunity, but he was additionally feeling rather wistfully eager to hear the man’s final advice.

“Don’t grab a girl’s bum to get her attention. She’ll always appreciate it more if you’re just up front with your feelings, especially when they’re hard to admit,” he said.

Invented bum-grabbing aside, Sebastian felt that the sage words would’ve served him much better approximately ten days ago. Still, he resigned to take the lesson forward with him. No more stupid stunts. Just being honest.

“And find out what stupid little gesture makes her melt, and never stop doing it,” Teräväinen added. “For my wife, it’s flowers. I bring her some every weekend. They’re always wilted by Wednesday, but I’ll be damned if her smile doesn’t light up the room when I walk in with a fresh bouquet.”

Sebastian smiled at the soft-hearted man. “I will, Sir,” he promised. He’d never let him know if MC never gave him the chance. It might crush him even more than it would Sebastian.

The fuzzy warmth in his chest turned to dread when he realised they were back in front of the office door. Sebastian had no idea whether Niko had gotten the address and gotten out. He would never forgive himself if he got the lad fired for helping him. As the department head opened his office door, Sebastian spotted a shimmer of light inside.

“Wait!” Sebastian blurted out in panic.

Teräväinen looked back at him with a raised brow. “Something else you needed, Sepe?”

“I–I just–” Sebastian stammered, focusing desperately on not letting his eyes slide back toward Niko’s disillusioned form. He surged forward, nearly knocking the older man down as he flung his arms around his middle.

“Oh,” Teräväinen said, stunned.

“I’m going to miss you, Sir,” Sebastian said, his voice slightly muffled in the man’s work robes.

Teräväinen patted Sebastian’s back. “We’ll miss you around here too, son,” he said. “I sincerely wish you all the best.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Sebastian said as he stepped back. Niko had slipped out of the office and around the corner.

Teräväinen nodded. “You take care of yourself.” He cleared his throat before heading into his office.

Once the door clicked shut, Sebastian took a moment to wonder if he would ever see him again before hurrying down the corridor to find Niko.

“Did you find it?” Sebastian asked in an urgent whisper as they walked back toward the exit.

“Yes, but…” Niko said hesitantly.

Sebastian tilted his head. “What is it?”

Niko held out a manila folder. “It doesn’t have her address. Just the one for the DMLE.”

Sebastian snatched up the file and flipped through it. “You’re sure it wasn’t in here?”

Niko’s expression hardened as he glanced over at Sebastian. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sebastian huffed as he snapped the file shut. “It means that if you’re trying to get me to stay by sabotaging me, I’ll–”

“I’m not! There’s no address! I can’t believe you’d even accuse me of that! I risked my neck to help you, Sepe!”

Niko was fuming, and he’d started walking much faster – presumably in an attempt to get away from Sebastian, who just sped up to keep pace.

“No, I know. I’m sorry,” Sebastian said quietly, his anger rapidly fading to guilt.

Niko’s eyes darted to the side as he observed him warily.

Sebastian chewed his knuckle as he tried to come up with an alternative plan. “I can just go to the DMLE on Monday and see if she’ll talk to me. She’ll probably just have me kicked out, but it’s worth a shot. Maybe I can ask for Natty, instead. She might be more amenable. Unless MC’s already told her everything. If she hasn’t yet, she probably will by Monday if they ended up living together like they planned.” Sebastian dropped his head into his hands. “Damn! If only I had Ominis on my side. He could talk to MC. They’ve always had a way of convincing each other.”

Sebastian sighed before halting suddenly.

“That’s it!” he said triumphantly, making Niko jump. “I can still make it work! I’ve gotta go.”

Sebastian turned on the spot as he tried to get his frazzled mind to recall which direction the exit was.

“What? Teräväinen gets a goodbye hug, but I don’t?” Niko asked wryly.

“Sod off,” Sebastian replied, but he pulled the younger aurori into a hug anyway.

Niko then held Sebastian out at arm’s length by his shoulders. “You take care of yourself, Sepe,” he said with mock gravitas.

Sebastian laughed and shoved his friend’s hands off him. “It’s a good thing you’re such a prat or I might actually be sad to leave you.”

“I’ll miss you too, buddy,” Niko replied with vastly more sincerity.

“Come visit, yeah?” Sebastian asked.

Niko smirked. “If you ever get an address.”

Sebastian apparated to his flat to pack his things. He fit everything into a trunk with an extension charm on it, and then added a featherlight charm before shrinking it down. His whole life fit in his pocket. Save his sofa. He hit that with a reductor curse and vanished the dust that remained.

He signed and sealed a parchment breaking his lease at the end of the month and slipped it through the slot in his landlord’s door. It was too late at night to apply for a portkey. The transport office wouldn’t open again until Monday. He fished a pepper-up potion out of his trunk, downed it, and prepared to be incredibly stupid.

He apparated to Stockholm. It was a hell of a jump. Sebastian was already tired from getting little sleep the last two nights – or two weeks, really. Despite the potion, apparating was exhausting. He leaned against a light post and panted to catch his breath. Once he could breathe without heaving his whole chest, he raised his wand and apparated again. This time to Gothenburg.

Sebastian stumbled to the ground as he popped into a dimly lit shipping yard he’d visited on a case once. The tarmac tore at his knees and palm. He had clutched his wand protectively to his chest to ensure it didn’t get damaged. Sebastian fished through his bag and took a wiggenweld just in case. It wouldn’t fix him if he splinched himself, but it could help if the stress of long-distance apparition was doing internal damage. It took almost thirty minutes for his head to stop spinning.

Once it did, Sebastian apparated to Stavanger. Niko had a grandmother who lived there. They’d visited her for a long weekend over a year ago. Sebastian threw up in her bushes before collapsing on the lawn. He was pleased to find that, while frozen, the ground wasn’t snow-covered. As he lay there feeling his consciousness wax and wane, he hoped it wasn’t due to blood loss from some injury he had yet to detect. He tried to take an assessment of his body, but all he could do was lie there for an inordinate amount of time.

Eventually, he dragged himself to a sitting position and assessed his body for wounds. He found none. He got to his feet, swayed, and then stilled. He took a few steps to ensure he wouldn’t collapse again, and then he apparated to Feldcroft – the longest jump yet.

Sebastian groaned as he stumbled backwards into the stone wall surrounding the town’s well. His wand arm had a searing pain lancing up it. He’d splinched it. Blood was soaking through his sleeve down to his elbow. He cast a left-handed coagulation spell to stem the flow. His head swam as he pushed off the wall, and he almost toppled back over. He had to catch himself on the well again.

The air was cold and smelled like iron. The town was quiet as it was the early hours of the morning. The calm contrasted sharply with the pain screaming in his arm. It felt like the bone had been split like a log. Sebastian groaned as he stumbled toward a familiar home. He prayed to the gods that Ominis hadn’t moved.

Sebastian steadied himself with a hand on the door frame before lifting it to knock heavily on the thick wooden door. His other arm hung useless at his side, his hand growing colder in the winter air, freezing along the trickle of liquid creeping down it. There was an extended silence before Sebastian could hear shuffling within. Eventually, the door swung open to reveal a very groggy Ominis in his night clothes.

Holding his wand aloft, Ominis’s eyebrows drew up together. “Sebastian?” he asked.

“Hey, Ominis,” the bedraggled wizard replied in a panting, anxious voice. His heart was racing, and his breathing was increasingly laboured. He was so nervous that he felt he might pass out.

Before Ominis could reply, Sebastian collapsed forward through the doorway, just barely missing the blind wizard. He hit the floor with a heavy thud.

When Sebastian came to, he was lying on a couch. His cloak and the top half of his clothes were gone. There were dittany leaves wrapped around his right arm. Ominis was sitting in a nearby chair.

Sebastian groaned as he sat up. A potion appeared in front of his face.

“Drink,” Ominis ordered, his tone cold.

Sebastian took the vial from him and downed the crimson-coloured blood-replenishing potion. It slid down his throat, coating it like oil and leaving a bitter taste on his tongue. But his headache eased and his head stopped swimming.

“I fucked up,” Sebastian said as he set the empty vial on the table in front of him.

“You got yourself splinched,” Ominis observed as he sat back in his chair. His expression was unreadable.

“I meant everything else,” Sebastian said dismally. “The dark magic. Leaving the three of you. Not staying after Anne…” He still couldn’t say it. “And the last two weeks with MC.”

Ominis was stone-faced. “You’ve certainly made a lot of mistakes,” he agreed. “MC told me about some of the recent ones.”

Sebastian hung his head in shame. “I’ve been so stupid,” he said, his frustration with himself only increasing.

“It certainly sounds like it,” Ominis replied. “Capping it off by apparating here from Finland. I don’t know how you didn’t get yourself killed.”

“I didn’t do it all in one go. I broke it up,” Sebastian explained.

Ominis frowned. “You’re still lucky it wasn’t worse. Your arm should be fully healed in another hour or so.”

“Thank you,” Sebastian said sheepishly.

Ominis stood. It was only then Sebastian noticed a young runespoor was wrapped around the blond’s shoulders. “I wasn’t going to let you bleed out in my home, was I? But that doesn’t mean you’re welcome here. I expect you to leave once you’re fit to travel.”

Sebastian’s pulse spiked. Ominis was turning him away? “What?” Sebastian blurted out much more harshly than he would have intended.

Ominis did his best to glare down at him; his gaze was only slightly off-target. “I don’t know whether you came here to try to reform our friendship or just to get my help with MC, but I can assure you I’m not interested in either.”

A lump formed in Sebastian’s throat. He tried to talk. To plead. But the words were caught.

“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt her?” Ominis asked. He didn’t even sound angry – just pained. “How much you keep hurting her?”

“Yes,” Sebastian rasped. He had to work hard to keep from letting tears well up in his eyes. “I’ve been awful. I know I have. I’m sure she’s told you.”

“She didn’t tell me everything, but she told me enough to know I don’t want you near her again,” Ominis replied.

Sebastian swallowed hard. “I understand.”

“That makes one of us,” Ominis said wryly. “I don’t know why you bothered coming all this way. You almost killed yourself to get here. It doesn’t add up.”

“How much did MC tell you?” Sebastian asked.

Ominis’s expression grew cagey. “A fair bit, I expect. Making her stay with you and being a general git the whole time.”

“That’s hardly the half of it,” Sebastian replied with an attempt at humour.

Ominis’s brow arched. “Oh?”

The man had always had a thirst for gossip. He knew everyone’s business back in school, including most of the professors. Sebastian couldn’t help but think that it could be his in with Ominis.

“I could fill in the gaps,” Sebastian offered.

“It’s hardly my business,” Ominis replied, feigning indifference as he focused his attention on the snake. He lifted a hand and let it slither down his forearm, around his wrist, and between his fingers.

“Maybe you’re right. I doubt MC would want to recount everything to you. I just thought you might want to know the whole story,” Sebastian said casually.

“Well, it could be good the have the full picture,” Ominis said as he stroked the snake’s head gently. “To understand what MC has been going through, I mean.”

Sebastian suppressed his smile, even though Ominis wouldn’t be able to see it.

Ominis sighed. “Go on, then.”

Sebastian had a brief moment of panic when he realised he was about to admit every mistake he’d made over the last two weeks to Ominis. Why had that seemed like a good idea? “Just let me get through the whole thing before you hex me, okay?” Sebastian said.

“I’m sure I can manage that,” Ominis replied calmly.

Sebastian swallowed down his nerves. “Well, we just kept clashing. I first learned she was coming to Finland when my boss asked me to show her around since we’re both Brits. I convinced the lead for the training to have her stay with me, too, which she obviously wasn’t happy about. We had to duel for the training, and when she beat me, she said I was worthless without dark magic. I was so mad and hurt, and I think I wanted to hurt her back. I brought these women back to the flat–”

“Sebastian,” Ominis said reproachfully.

“I know,” Sebastian said, wincing. “And I didn’t put up a silencing charm, because I wanted her to hear us going at–”

“Sebastian!” Omins interjected, aghast.

“I know!” Sebastian said. “Believe me, I do. Because MC did hear us, and I felt terribly about it because I think it did hurt her. I didn’t actually want to. I was just upset she’d hurt me. And she got back at me by fucking some prick in my bed the next–”

Ominis’s jaw dropped. “Sweet Salazar, in your–?”

“Yes! So, I felt even worse, naturally. And then she told me I was the worst mistake she’d ever made after I’d finally gotten my head on straight and decided to ask her out properly. I got a bit sloshed and brought another woman back–”

“Sebastian…” Ominis had his head in his free hand now.

“I know!” Sebastian insisted. “MC interrupted it before it could really even go anywhere, and the witch left livid because she thought I was some cheating bastard. I feel like one, honestly.”

“I wonder why?” Ominis spat sarcastically.

“MC had made it abundantly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me!” Sebastian replied defensively. “I’m not saying it was right, but I just…didn’t want to feel like no one would ever want anything to do with me. It was a moment of weakness. But I was still drunk and made it worse by trying to convince her to sleep with me.”

“The same night?” Ominis demanded, looking thoroughly scandalised.

Sebastian pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes as if trying to block out the image. “It was approximately five seconds after the other woman left,” he admitted.

Ominis didn’t even bother chiding him again, apparently considering Sebastian a lost cause.

“MC ended up not coming home the next day, and I spent the whole night looking for her. It turned out she’d just gone to a hotel. I convinced her to talk with me, but then my mate ruined it by saying something stupid that made her think I just saw her as some sort of conquest. She was gone when I got home, and she ended up bringing someone back to the apartment later that night, instead. I tried to act like it didn’t bother me, but then I interrupted them when they were snogging on the sofa and he was about to undress her. We fought and apologised and cried. Well, mostly I cried. And then we…Well, we slept together.”

“‘Slept’ together?” Ominis asked incredulously.

Sebastian glowered. “We fucked. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Not especially, no,” Ominis replied sternly. “And you ran away again, and now you’re here to grovel for her to give you another chance?”

“No!” Sebastian growled. “I didn’t run. Neither did she. Until she did, I mean. We woke up together. I made breakfast. She agreed to stay for the weekend. I thought we were finally okay, and then she just vanished mid-sentence last night because she never actually intended to stay. I mean, clearly she freaked out. But…I know she still loves me. And I just want one more conversation to try to convince her it’ll be different this time. That I’m not going to hurt her again. That I really love her.”

Ominis folded his arms across his chest. “Convince me,” he said.

Sebastian blinked at him. “That…that I love you?” he asked.

Ominis rolled his eyes. “No, that you love MC, you pillock! Convince me you’re not going to hurt her again.”

Sebastian did his best. He explained how he finally realised that MC had been right about dark magic. That he’d renounced his dark ways years ago. That he understood how much his rash actions hurt MC, and that he never wanted to be responsible for causing her pain again. He tried to explain how he’d felt finding MC with another bloke. How scared he’d been when she didn’t come to the flat that night. How shattered he was when she just vanished right in front of him. How badly he’d missed her over the years. How much he loved her. How he couldn’t stand being without her again. By the time he was done, the sun was peeking in through the windows.

“You two are my family. I was stupid to leave. I tried to forget everything and start over, because I knew I couldn’t fix what I’d done to you two. But there’s always been something missing. I won’t blame MC if she doesn’t want me, but I hope she’ll at least let me be around. I just want to come home.”

Sebastian had no energy left to guard his emotions, and they were threatening to spill over.

“I swear I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think I could make MC happy,” Sebastian continued. “That’s why I left after the funeral. I was so broken then, I…I would’ve taken MC down with me. I never could’ve forgiven myself for that. She had so much going for her – graduating with top marks, the auror academy, you, Natty. She would’ve dropped everything to try to help me. And either I would’ve let her or broken her heart worse when I left anyway.”

Ominis didn’t say anything. He just stood up and deposited the snake in a bin full of its siblings before grabbing a quill and parchment.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian asked.

“I’m writing MC to come here so you can talk to her,” Ominis said simply.

The next several hours waiting for MC’s reply were excruciating. Despite his exhaustion, Sebastian couldn’t rest due to the anxiety. Sebastian kept checking his clothes for wrinkles or remnants of blood he’d scourgified out of them, even as Ominis kept him occupied catching him up on his life the last few years. He had poured himself into rescuing animals – mostly magical snake breeds – ever since Anne’s passing. It wasn’t lost on him that helping the creatures was a rather direct replacement for the time he had spent caring for his infirmed wife.

Sebastian had just made his third cup of tea when the door to the cottage opened suddenly. Just then, the little owl finally returned. Sebastian couldn’t immediately see who had walked in from his place in the kitchen, but he recognised her voice.

“Knew I should’ve sent a patronus,” MC said genially.

Sebastian could see Ominis send her a bemused look before reading the note Pixie had brought him. Ominis chuckled.

“Where’s Poppy?” MC asked as stepped inside and hung up her cloak.

Sebastian’s heart started pounding at the sight of her. He’d seen her less than a day ago, but he wasn’t sure how she would feel about seeing him there. Especially after Ominis told him the pretence under which he had invited MC to the cottage. Ominis had made no mention of Sebastian. Instead, he had asked MC to visit him, the snakes, and Poppy, who had evidently been helping with the snakes rather frequently.

“Actually, I’m going to go to hers,” Ominis said casually.

“Oh,” MC said, sounding surprised. “Shall I come with you, then?”

“I’d really rather you didn’t,” Sebastian interjected, feeling sick at the idea of her immediately leaving again.

MC looked over her shoulder, gaping when her eyes landed on him. Her head whipped back toward Ominis. “You lying bastard!” she growled.

“He came to me and asked for help getting you to talk to him. I think you should hear him out,” Ominis said simply.

MC scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “I already heard him out. It didn’t lead anywhere good.”

Ominis sighed. “Look, I know you’re scared, MC. I know better than most the reasons you have not to give him another chance. But I also know better than most how much you two loved each other – and how hard it is for love like that to fade. I can’t have the love of my life back, but I won’t let you regret giving up on yours without weighing it fully.”

Ominis really was pulling out all the stops. Sebastian felt a deep gratitude toward his best mate for how dedicated he was to helping him.

MC looked misty-eyed. “I can’t believe you’re playing the dead wife card on me,” she sniffed.

“Only because I love you,” Ominis said earnestly as he grabbed his cloak. “I’ll be back in two hours. Either waythis goes, I trust you two not to destroy my home.”

Sebastian could feel his face heat at the implication.

MC rolled her eyes as Ominis left. Sebastian watched her as she turned back toward him, ready for her to hex him, scream, or just apparate away. She just stared at him, clearly waiting for him to make the first move.

“I’m so sorry,” Sebastian said earnestly. He didn’t know how to express the depths of his regret for his behaviour. He set his tea on the counter and walked over to her. She began to back away as he drew near, and Sebastian froze while trying to ignore the pang in his gut. “This isn’t how I wanted things to be between us.”

MC said nothing, though her gaze seemed slightly less wary.

“I should’ve been honest with you from the start instead of playing games and trying to manipulate you. I was too much of a coward to just admit from the jump that I never stopped being in love with you,” he said. “I spent years trying to become someone you could be proud of. Someone who could love you like you deserve. I thought that meant giving up dark magic and doing something good with my life. But I clearly have a lot to learn about how to treat you. And I know this probably doesn’t seem like a step in the right direction, but I genuinely didn’t know Ominis was going to lie to get you here.”

“You really gave up dark magic?” she asked, eyeing him sceptically.

“I haven’t touched it since Anne died, and I’m never going to again,” he promised.

MC rolled her eyes, and her posture stiffened. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before.”

“Really?” he shot back, feeling a flare of frustration. It was an argument they’d had many times over the years they were together. “And are you referring to when you told Ominis I was done without consulting me in the catacombs? Or perhaps when I told Ominis I understood him wanting us to avoid it? I never lied about stopping.”

MC’s jaw tensed as she glared at him. She didn’t deny it, though.

“And I’m telling you now that I’m done playing games. I’m done running. Or hiding. Or whatever I’ve been doing the last two-and-a-half years,” he said. He wanted to hold her face and look in her eyes so she could see that he was telling the truth. “I’m not Sepe. He was a mask. A way to avoid owning up to my mistakes. But I can’t keep being him. I want to come home.”

“I’m not stopping you,” MC replied flippantly. “I’m sure Ominis would even let you stay with him.”

Sebastian gave in and stepped forward into the gap between them. He took her hands in his own and looking pleadingly into her eyes. “My home isn’t Feldcroft. It’s you. It’s always been you – since the day you spared me from Azkaban.” He stepped even closer and cupped her cheek in his hand. He needed her to hear him. “No one else has seen me and looked at what I’ve done and loved me anyway. Even Anne took a year to forgive me. And I know I broke your trust, and it’s okay if it takes years to earn it back. I just…I’m asking for a chance to prove that I’ve changed. I’m still not perfect, and I know I don’t deserve it, but I’ll spend every day earning it, and I just…I have to ask. I have to try to come home.”

Sebastian nearly broke as tears flowed down MC’s cheeks. He urgently began wiping them away, but they just kept coming. He felt awful. That wasn’t what he’d wanted. He hadn’t imagined pouring his heart out to MC could hurt her even more. He regretted coming. He should have stayed and bitten his tongue rather than burden her.

“I can’t let you break my heart again, Sebastian. I love you. I do. But I just can’t,” she said, sobbing. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself. Sebastian wanted to hold her tightly against him, but he felt it would only make things worse. He always just made things worse for MC. She loved him back, and he was still hurting her by being there. Evening knowing that, though, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Nor could he stop himself from trying to convince her to give him another chance.

“I know, love,” he said in what he hoped was a soothing tone. “I swear to you I won’t. I wish every day that I could redo that night. Stay with you. I was a coward and afraid that you still wouldn’t want me, and I ran. And it was the worst mistake of my life.”

Strictly speaking, it wasn’t entirely true. He hadn’t been afraid of MC not accepting him as much as he’d been afraid of making her life worse – as he’d told Ominis. However, he worried that admitting he would’ve been bad for her then would only increase her resolve not to take him back now.

Sebastian took a shuddering breath before continuing, “I’m so sorry that I can’t fix it. Especially now that I know how you must’ve felt when I was just…just gone. I would give anything to fix it if I could. But I promise it will never happen again. I’m not leaving. Not ever.”

Sebastian’s heart cracked as MC’s face crumpled. She sobbed even harder.

Leave. You’re just making it worse. Just leave her alone!

Sebastian was on the verge of walking away when MC choked out, “I’m sorry. I wish I could believe you.”

She fell back on the sofa behind her. She looked utterly miserable, and Sebastian couldn’t suppress the need to do something to fix it.

He knelt down on one knee in front of her and rested a hand on her leg. “Hey,” he said softly, using his other hand to wipe more tears from her face. “It’s okay. You don’t owe me anything. I–” He choked on his words, and he forced himself to smile. “I’ll be okay.”

MC shook her head, tucking her legs up protectively in front of herself. Sebastian’s hands fell to the couch on either side of her. “I want to trust you,” she said. “I want to give you another chance, but…I mean, you live in Finland. You’re an aurori. You–”

“No, I’m not,” he said, cutting her off.

She looked taken aback. “What?”

Sebastian chewed his lip, unsure whether the truth would just continue to make things worse. He had to tell her, though. “I told Teräväinen I quit. Effective immediately. Needless to say he wasn’t happy, but…I’m not going back to Finland. I told you: I’m not leaving you again.”

MC started crying again.

Fuck.

Sebastian moved to sit beside her and tentatively pulled her into a hug, waiting for her to tense or push him away. She didn’t. Instead, she let her head tilt to rest on his chest. Sebastian rubbed circles on her back, and she slowly calmed down.

“You’re…you’re really staying?” she asked, looking up at him.

“I am, love,” he vowed. “Probably right here for a while until I can find my own place – and a job.”

He laughed off his situation.

MC laughed, as well, and Sebastian instantly felt the tension in his body ease. She sniffed as she wiped her drippy nose. “I happen to have an in with the aurors at the DMLE,” she said.

“Do you now? Well, I do have some relevant experience.” he joked back. He felt elated by the idea that she would use her influence to help him. That had to mean something, right?

“On both sides of the job,” MC quipped.

“Oi!” he said, poking her side. “Too soon, darling.”

He said it light-heartedly, but he genuinely couldn’t take thinking about his former investment in the dark arts. It had started the whole mess. It had cost him so much. If he dwelt on it now, he would break down.

“Sorry,” she said earnestly as she snugged back against him.

He pressed a kiss to her head as he held her tighter to his chest. He felt she was the last person who should be apologising to him.

“It’s all right,” he assured her. “I’ve missed your teasing.”

She lifted her head again. “I’ve missed teasing you,” she said, giving him a cheeky grin. “In all sorts of ways.”

Sebastian chuckled, but his pulse spiked at her suggestive tone. “Funny enough, I noticed that,” he replied drily. “For the record, I much prefer you walking around in lingerie to riding some ponce on my couch.”

“You seemed to be pretty into it,” she argued.

“I was fucking livid. I just didn’t want you to know it bothered me,” he said. “But I lost it when I saw you were wearing my lingerie.”

“You’re welcome to model it anytime,” she teased before letting her feet fall back to the floor and shifting to face him.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “You know what I meant,” he groused, and she giggled. He considered staying silent so he didn’t ruin the moment, but he needed to ask the question relentlessly needling in the back of his mind. “Where does all this leave us?”

“I think it’s worth giving us another shot,” she said before smirking at him. “I mean, you did abandon your whole life for me. I suppose that shows a certain level of commitment.”

He felt lighter than is he were soaring on a broomstick. “Yeah?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” she confirmed with a shy grin. “But we should take it slow.”

“I can do slow,” he promised quickly. He could do glacial if it meant being with her. “How about dinner tonight in London? I’ll make us a reservation somewhere.”

“That sounds perfect,” she replied.

She looked so genuinely happy that Sebastian’s heart nearly burst in his chest.

“Brilliant!” he said, beaming at her. He leaned in before catching himself. “Does slow still involve kissing?”

“Slow definitely still involves kissing,” MC replied before pulling him to her.

Sebastian felt drunk. He could barely think. The only thing he knew was how happy he was that MC was there with him and how good she felt against his lips and under his hands. He pressed her back into the couch as he kissed her even more deeply. His lips moved slowly over hers, and he tugged her bottom lip between his teeth before tracing it with the tip of his tongue. She moaned into his mouth, and he moved so his whole body was flush atop hers, pressing them as close together as possible.

He kissed across her jaw and began trailing down her neck. Her skin was smooth and warm under his tongue. She let out breathy moans that made him want to rip her clothes off and ravish her. As Sebastian sucked a mark into her skin just above her collar bone, MC began to rock her hips against him. His lips broke away from her with a low groan that came from deep in his chest. Sebastian felt almost feverish as MC ground herself up against the erection pinned in his trousers.

MC gripped his robes as she pulled him back into a kiss. Her tongue slid into his mouth, meeting his own before pulling back and gliding across his lip. She began pushing his robes over his shoulders, and Sebastian shifted to let the fabric slide free from his arms. He tossed the robes to the floor, and then he began opening her blouse. He kissed down her sternum as he pushed each button through its hole, slowly revealing a central strip of her skin. She arched into his touch.

After ridding MC of her top and bra, Sebastian slid his hands over her skin from her hips up to her breasts. She moaned as he palmed them, her nipples forming stiff peaks as he massaged each mound with careful attention. Kneeling between her legs, Sebastian bent down and took one of her nipples into his mouth. He circled his tongue around it before sucking in earnest. That was still slow, right? Surely it still fell under the umbrella of “kissing” if he kissed her breasts. And he was moving rather slowly.

Yes, it was definitely slow.

MC was panting as another moan erupted from her throat.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” she keened as her hand laced tightly into his hair.

Sebastian smirked up at her and found MC’s gaze fixed firmly on him. He winked at her playfully even as a possessive instinct jolted in him.

Fuck Anton. No one else gets to taste these tits ever again.

MC was his and no one else’s.

“Mine,” Sebastian growled against her, somewhat unintentionally. “You’re mine, MC.”

“Yes,” she moaned. “I’m yours. Please, Seb!”

Burning heat was spreading through Sebastian. He was aching for MC. Objectively, it hadn’t been very long since they’d been together, but he’d thought he lost her. He was high on the relief that she was giving him another chance – one he was determined not to squander – and he craved her touch to ease the pain of the distance they’d had after she disappeared right in front of him.

Sebastian went back to kissing her lips, moving up and away from her cunt to keep himself from trying to rip the rest of her clothes off. She’d said slow. He wasn’t going to ruin things because he couldn’t keep it in his pants for ten bloody minutes.

MC was trying to kill him, apparently, because the moment he was hovering over her again, she wrapped her legs around his hips and returned to writhing against him. He let out a pained groan, squeezing his eyes shut as his hands balled into fists in the cushions. Her core was hot against his length, and the friction was maddening. He could imagine how wet she’d gotten from rubbing on him, and his hands clenched tighter as he imaged rutting his cock against her drenched folds.

MC broke their kiss, panting as she pulled back to look at him. Sebastian forced his eyes back open when she pulled away. Her eyes were filled with a desire that burnt right through him.

“I need you,” she keened before attacking his neck, marking the curve where it met his shoulder like he had above her collar bone.

His skin stung as she bit into it – pain and pleasure at the same time – but it was soon soothed with the wet glide of her tongue.

Sebastian’s willpower crumbled as he crushed her into the cushions, thrusting his clothed cock against her core. MC dissolved into a whimpering mess.

“Fuck! Yes! Please, Seb! Please!” she cried.

Her hands came down and began fumbling with his trousers.

“I–But you–Slow,” Sebastian stammered, utilising his last ounce of reason.

All her movements stilled, and she drew away from his neck. She looked up at him with wide eyes like a frightened rabbit. “Right. Yes,” MC said soberly, and Sebastian was already cursing himself for speaking up. “We…we should take it slow.”

Sebastian cupped a hand to her face and stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. He didn’t want MC to think for even a second that he hadn’t wanted to continue. She bit her lip, and he wanted to drag it back out with his thumb and bite it for her. The uncertainty in her expression suddenly turned to resolve.

“We can…you know…go slowly,” she said in a low voice as she flattened her palm against the front of his trousers.

Sebastian’s brow raised of its own accord, and MC smirked up at him. She unfastened his trousers and dipped her hand into them to wrap around his cock. Sebastian’s forehead fell against hers as he groaned.

“Gods, I missed you,” he said.

MC chuckled. “We had sex less than 48 hours ago,” she replied in a teasing tone.

He lifted his head so he could meet her eye. “I thought I’d lost you forever,” he said seriously. “I love you so much, MC. I can’t lose you.”

MC’s expression melted. “I love you, too, Sebastian,” she vowed, still stroking him.

It sparked something in him, and he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand out of his trousers. He laced his fingers with hers, pressing her hand into the sofa above her head as he kissed her breathless. He stripped his trousers off along with his pants before setting on ridding MC of her remaining clothing.

When he was laid out on top of her once more, he relished the heat of her body seeping into his skin. He could feel her on nearly every inch of him even before his hips starting rutting against hers. His cock nestled along her centre, nudging her open as he glided against her, coating his shaft in her slick. She moaned every time the head of his cock ground against her clit, and each sultry sound sent a jolt of pleasure into the base of his spine.

Sebastian didn’t rush forward. He luxuriated in the feeling of her wet cunt against him. He tasted the salt on her skin as he devoured her neck. He memorised the scent of her shampoo as he nuzzled against her. He was almost vibrating with arousal when the head of his cock caught at her entrance as he thrust his hips forward once again. MC’s nails bit into his shoulders as she arched into him, a wanton moan pouring from her lips.

“Please,” she whimpered, clearly as keyed up as he was.

Sebastian pressed in, breath shuddering as he sank into her heat and stretched her open. “Gods, you feel so bloody good,” he groaned, his hips already moving but languidly so.

Despite the leisurely pace he set, Sebastian was far from relaxed. He wanted nothing more than to abandon self-control and pound into MC until he came so hard he couldn’t see. He wanted her. He needed her. But she’d asked for slow, and he’d give it to her.

He tangled one hand into her hair at the nape of her neck, holding her forehead pressed to his, as his other hand dropped to rub deliberate circles on her clit. He could feel her body coiling tight under him, and he knew she was feeling each drag of his cock through her as acutely as he was.

Sebastian felt like a dog whose owner had set a steak in front of it and told it not to eat it. Hyperfixated on how mouth-watering it smelled. Tapping into every reserve of discipline to hold back from devouring it. He could look and sniff and lick, but he couldn’t sink his teeth in. MC had practically asked him to edge himself in her cunt.

He looked down to the curves of her breasts, bouncing lightly as he rocked into her. The way they moved was perfection, beautiful and obscene at the same time. His gaze dropped lower to where their bodies were joined – where her cunt was clinging to him on every pull out of her before he dove into her heat again. He pulled all the way out once just to watch the head of his cock nudge her back open.

“Look at you,” Sebastian rasped as his eyes trailed back up to hers. “You’re so beautiful, MC. So perfect.”

“Gods,” she groaned. “I–You–Oh, Seb!”

Her eyes rolled back as her nails clawed at him, one hand at his back and the other at his scalp. He smirked at his incoherent witch. He kissed her as he sped up the circles on her clit. She moaned into the kiss before taking a sharp breath in through her nose. Her tongue dove desperately into his mouth as if she might die if she couldn’t taste every inch of him. Then, it was gone just as quickly, and she bit down on his lip as her body trembled under him.

Sebastian’s hand tightened in her hair as he felt her cunt squeezing him in a death grip.

“Oh! Fuck, Seb!” she keened in a quavering voice, followed by a flood of additional curses.

She looked utterly gorgeous as she came for him. Sebastian tried to keep fucking her through it, but his hips stuttered to a halt as his own orgasm tore through him with little warning. He’d been on the edge, sure, but not that close until the sight and feeling of her falling apart suddenly catapulted him over that precipice. He pulsed within her, painting her cervix with his seed as she continued to shutter around him. It was like electric jolts of pleasure were being sent up his spine. Sebastian kissed her again as the final waves rocked through him, and then he collapsed boneless on top of her, nuzzling into the curve of her neck.

They both lay there panting until they caught their breath enough to speak.

“Merlin, you’re incredible,” Sebastian said in awe, face still buried in her neck.

“You did pretty damn well yourself,” MC replied. “We should ‘go slow’ more often.”

Sebastian hummed in agreement. “Just give me five minutes.”

MC chuckled.

“All right, I mean ten,” he conceded.

MC started at that. “You’re serious?” she asked.

Sebastian picked up his head to show her his expression, which was very serious. “When have I ever only made you come once?” he asked.

He immediately regretted it as he vividly recalled that the last time they’d had sex in that house had been one-and-done, and then he’d bolted. Graciously, MC didn’t point it out.

Sebastian worried he might’ve overstepped ‘going slow’ until he saw MC’s eyes darken as she looked at him. “What did you have in mind?” she inquired.

He smirked. “It’s more fun if it’s a surprise, isn’t it?”

She chuckled before leaning up to kiss him. The ten minutes ended up being spent snogging on the couch. Once he was ready for the next round, Sebastian picked MC up as he got to his knees.

“Do I get to be on top for once?” she asked eager.

Sebastian scoffed. “You wish, love,” he said cheekily, to which she rolled her eyes.

He set her on her knees, facing the back of the couch before standing up behind her. He ran his hands down the outsides of her thighs as he leaned over her back.

“I’m going to show you what I wanted to do when I found you writhing on that feckless prick on my sofa,” he growled in her ear.

MC whimpered in anticipation.

Sebastian lifted her hips higher, forcing her to lean into the back of the sofa. He stroked his fingers between her legs, feeling his seed coating her cunt and thighs. His witch coated in his semen. He slid his hand forward to tease her clit, and she started moving her hips back against him. He alternated stroking himself and palming her arse with his other hand. Once she was on the verge of begging, he slid into her in one go.

MC gasped as he filled her.

Sebastian couldn’t help but smirk. “I’d have slipped into your tight little cunt just like that.”

She let out an unhindered moan. “Gods, I wish you would’ve.”

Sebastian started rocking his hips. He didn’t go fast, but he was thrusting hard into her. “Yeah?” he asked. “You’d have liked that? Making that git you picked up watch me fuck you senseless?”

MC just moaned again in response as Sebastian kept snapping his hips into her.

He remembered the way she’d stared at him while on top of another man. Sebastian had no intention of ever letting anyone else touch her again, but he’d be lying if he said the image didn’t still give him a thrill. Even when she’d been in the midst of things with someone else, she had still been his.

Sebastian couldn’t resist speeding up his pace. His hands dug into MC’s hips as he pounded into her, while she dissolved into a puddle of pleasure.

“Oh! Right there, Seb!” she keened.

“Like that?” he asked as he targeted the same spot. He already knew the answer.

“Fuck,” she groaned. “Yes! Gods, yes!”

Sebastian was in the middle of demanding she beg if she wanted him to keep going and let her come when a voice called out over his.

“I gave you two one rule!” Ominis boomed before slamming the door behind him.

Sebastian jumped back, slipping out of MC as he scrambled to grab something to cover himself before remembering that Ominis is blind. MC also rushed to get dressed as she wisely went to the other side of the sofa to put it between her and the irate wizard.

“Ominis,” she said, clearly attempting a pleasant tone, but her nervousness was quite obvious. “You’re back early.”

The blond’s scowl deepened. “I’m thirty minutes later than I said I’d be.”

“Oh,” MC said in surprise. She’d clearly kept track of the time as well as Sebastian had – which is to say not well at all.

“You two have defiled my sofa and stolen the innocence of my snakelets!” Ominis said. “You two could’ve at least had the decency to use the bedroom downstairs!”

Sebastian noticed that he was holding his wand out, but the tip was no longer glowing red. Ominis had clearly “seen” enough.

“Sorry, mate. We didn’t really mean to,” Sebastian said sheepishly.

Ominis rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure you just fell into her,” he said sarcastically.

Sebastian took a breath.

“Don’t answer that!” Ominis added quickly. He let out a sigh. “I assume this means you two are back together.”

“We are,” MC confirmed. Hearing her say it made Sebastian’s heart leap.

“Good,” Ominis said tersely. “Please try to refrain from fornicating in my home again for the customary two-and-a-half years.”

“Well, I’m sure we’ll be married long before then,” Sebastian quipped, which made MC’s face go pink.

Ominis wiped a hand down his face. “Remind me why I helped this happen?”

“Because you’re a hopeless romantic and you want your best friends to be happy?” Sebastian suggested.

“Speaking of the hopeless romantic bit, is this a bad time to ask about you and Poppy?” MC prodded.

Ominis glared in her direction. It was, evidently, a very bad time.

MC eventually smoothed things over with Ominis. He even agreed to let Sebastian stay there – with some ground rules. They went to dinner in London, and Sebastian got them a hotel for the night because he couldn’t bear the thought of spending it without MC.

During the following week, Sebastian helped out with the snakes, or “snakelets” as Ominis called them. He met Martin, who was a retired magizoologist that had moved back to Feldcroft after decades of travelling for his career. He worked part time helping Ominis with the rescued animals. The old man was chuffed to work alongside a Parselmouth who could give him insight into the snakes’ thoughts and feelings.

MC helped Sebastian apply to work for the DMLE as an auror, though nothing much would happen with his application until after the new year. Natty threatened him not to get any ideas about stealing her partner away from her.

Much of the week was also spent in preparation for Christmas. Ominis hosted MC and Natty most years, and this one was to be no exception. It was, however, a bit fuller of a party than normal. Aside from all the increasingly-large snakes, Natty brought along Garreth, Martin joined in, and Sebastian was obviously there. In a surprise to everyone except MC, Poppy joined the festivities. Sebastian saw Ominis no-so-subtly drag MC off for a private conversation after he had greeted Poppy quite warmly.

They had an early lunch together that was a veritable banquet. Ominis supplied the main dishes. Everyone else brought sides. Garreth additionally supplied a surplus of booze – from Ogden’s Old to his own brews. They sang carols, played games, and MC and Poppy cooed over the now three-foot-long “baby” snakes. MC even managed to convince Natty to pet one – after Ominis confirmed that it promised not to bite.

Sebastian stole MC away from the group at the first opportunity. She gave him a questioning look as he pulled her into another room as soon as they’d both been eliminated from the current round of Exploding Snap. He just handed her a small box.

“We said we weren’t doing presents,” she whinged.

“I know,” Sebastian replied with a cheeky smile. “It’s not, really. It’s…Well, just open it.”

MC did, and she pulled out a little keychain with a single key.

“I found a flat,” Sebastian announced. “I’m not expecting you to move in right away or anything, but I wanted you to have your own key.”

MC looked stunned. “Already? How?”

“I was very motivated to have my own space,” he said as he stepped into her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I think you’ll agree that both of our current accommodations are lacking in privacy.”

MC smirked as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their lips had barely touched when Natty called that they were starting a new round.

“Right on cue,” Sebastian quipped. He pressed a kiss to MC’s nose before taking her hand and leading her back to the living room.

Natty and Garreth had to leave relatively early to go visit the Weasleys. Poppy left shortly after to go see her gran. Ominis walked her out, returning after a suspiciously long amount of time for merely “seeing her off.” Martin also had to go to visit with his children. That left the trio sat around the crackling fire like the days when MC regularly snuck into the Slytherin common room.

“I feel like I should be trying to figure out the next Keeper Trial,” MC mused. She was tucked under Sebastian’s arm on the sofa.

“I’m just relieved that neither of you are trying to convince me to go in some cursed cavern,” Ominis replied.

“Now that you mention it, I’m sure we could find some trouble out in the forest,” Sebastian joked.

Ominis threw a pillow at his head with surprising accuracy. “Don’t even jest about that.”

Sebastian laughed as he snuggled the pillow with the arm not wrapped around MC. He looked from his best mate over to his girlfriend. “I’ve missed this,” he said with a small smile.

It was bittersweet being back for Christmas. It made Anne’s absence feel keener than it had in years, but he was still so grateful to be back with the two people he loved most in the world.

Ominis echoed Sebastian’s thoughts as he mentioned wishing Anne could be there to see the three of them back together.

“I’m sure she knows,” MC said confidently. “And knows how much we miss her.”

Ominis nodded, giving MC a watery smile.

“We should do something in her memory,” Sebastian suggested.

“I’ve got just the thing,” Ominis replied, hopping up from his seat. He rummaged through drawers in the next room before cutting back through on his way to the front door. “Come on, then!”

Sebastian and MC jumped off the sofa and followed Ominis out into the snowy weather. Fortunately, the flakes were just falling softly onto the already snow-laden ground.

Ominis laid out a row of what Sebastian instantly recognised to be fireworks. Anne had landed the three of them in detention for setting off fireworks in the Great Hall back in third year.

They stepped back to a safe distance, and then Ominis lit them all with a blasting curse. The fireworks rocketed into the air in sequence. They exploded into burst of whizzing comets, a large green and silver snake that slithered through the sky, a flock of shimmering doves, and even a unicorn that galloped through the air before swooping down through the town square.

Several houses peered out through their windows or braved the temperatures to come outside and watch. Small faces pressed against glass panes, watching in awe at the sky even as their breath fogged their view. Other children were cradled in their parents’ arms as they giggled and clapped.

“Look, Mommy! A dwagon!” one little girl said, pointing at the sky.

Sure enough, a sparkling, winged form soared high above the little town. It breathed out “flames” of sparks in front of it that glittered brightly before fading away.

The trio stood huddled together against the cold until the last of the fireworks fizzled out. Sebastian resolved that it would be a tradition they would repeat every year as he looked up at the cloudy sky. A twinkle of light from behind the clouds told him Anne agreed.

#sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x f!mc #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian x mc #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #toxic relationship #bittersweet #mostly sweet though

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okwritingandpain · 7 months

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Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da: The Beatles x Reader

Chapter 8

"You're taking me out?" Paul asked as Y/N took his hand and guided him out of the club he was performing in.

"It'll be good for you." She smiled as they made their way down the sidewalk toward a small park. Paul dragged behind her with a confused expression.

"Where are you taking me?" He asked, taking glances at the random people who stared at them.

"To the park." She replied, hastily. The entrance to the park was nearly in sight. This had to work. She knew it. With her time in the past, the least she could do was help her new friends.

"The park?" Paul repeated as they came upon the entrance. The sky was warm with color and children could be heard playing in the long green grass. They went in and Y/N jumped up on top of a picnic table.

"Alright, McCartney! We're getting that song today!" Y/N declared, stomping her foot on the top of the table. Paul looked at her confused as ever.

"Song? George told you about it, huh?" Paul asked with a smile.

"Why wouldn't he?" She smirked, putting her hands on her hips.

"True," Paul replied, jumping up on the table with her. "So, what's the plan?"

She shrugged.

"Just look around and see if you find something." She suggested. Paul peered around the park. Y/N waited, impatiently.

"The problem..." Paul began, "Is that it's a love song."

"And?" She asked, not quite understanding why this would be an issue.

"I don't have anyone to share that with," Paul explained, holding his head in his hands. "The song doesn't feel genuine."

"Why not write a song about someone you made up? Like your dream date, or something like that." Y/N suggested. Paul shook his head, disappointedly.

"That's not how I see things, luv." He replied with a slight smirk. He looked into her eyes with deep agony. He was in song purgatory.

"Sorry..." She said, looking at the ground. A brightness glowed in his eye.

"Well, actually you may have just sparked something. I need to get back to the band!" Paul said suddenly as he dashed off the picnic table. Y/N stood there shocked by his sudden urgency.

"Okay! I'll be at my job or something!" She called after him. Honestly, she was frazzled by the encounter. It all had happened so quickly. Did Scott need any help this late? It wouldn't hurt to check. Y/N made her way to the music shop that stood dormant. The lights were off and she couldn't see Scott.

"Y/N?" A voice asked behind her. She spun around to see Scott with a confused look. Beside him was a dark-haired broad who looked rather displeased with her.

"Hey, Scott. I was just wondering if you needed any help with the shop. I was just bored..." Y/N explained with a shaky grin. Scott smiled while the broad gave her the sharpest glare.

"I appreciate it." Scott remarked, "I don't need any extra help right now, but the offer was reassuring. I thought you were coming to quit." He was flustered and sweating. It was as if the sun had been beaming down at him.

"Oh well, then I'll be on my way." She replied and started making her way down the block.

"Wait!" The broad shouted, "Why don't you introduce me, Scott." Face lighting up with horror, Scott sheepishly grinned.

"Uh, Shirley this is Y/N." Scott motioned towards both of them.

"A pleasure." Shirley hissed, her eyes locked on Y/N. Giving the best smile she could, she nodded at her.

"Very." She replied, trying to avoid her gaze.

"Well, it would be best if we were on our way." Scott tried to steer the girls apart.

"By the way, I thought you could come to the next Beatles performance. It will get you out of the house!" Y/N said quickly. The whole point of inviting him originally was to get him a girlfriend, but he had found one.

"Oh, cool! I'll be sure to check it out." Scott said as he and Shirley walked away. With the situation being awkward and embarrassing enough, Y/N went home to her apartment. As she walked up the stairs to her home, she thought of what Paul was doing. She mostly just wanted a distraction before the embarrassing moment would come flooding back into her mind. Reaching her apartment, she noticed the door was unlocked. She had locked it, hadn't she? Y/N slowly cracked the door open, who knows who was in there? Then she heard a loud bang! The sound of the harmonic rang through the walls. Wait...this was...

"Love, love me do You know I love you I'll always be true"

It had worked! Somehow she had gotten the song into Paul's head. He must have rushed back to try and put it together with John and the other lads. Even with all of the charm of these performers, she couldn't help but wonder...HOW IN THE WORLD THEY GOT INTO HER APARTMENT?! Being the polite guest she was, she let them finish.

"What in the world are you doing in my apartment!?" Y/N asked, charmed, but still nervous by their entry.

"We came here to play you a song, Luv," Paul remarked cheerfully. A childish smile was spread across his face. John was blowing into his harmonic while George played a guitar rift alongside him.

"How did you get in?" She asked.

John stopped blowing into his harmonica.

"Ringo was a pretty good lock picker back in the day," John exclaimed with a chuckle. The band laughed at his explanation. It made her smile, even if it was a crime. (That night she rethought the remark, nevertheless).

"Who knew that Paul would come up with this song just by seeing you stand on a table!" George laughed. Paul turned bright red.

"George!" He hissed, but the band laughed immensely. She snickered a bit too. The others began to pack up their things. Paul walked over to Y/N. "Would you want to go to a dance with me?" He asked, a glowing smile.

"You know I would."

"WHAT IS ALL THAT RACKET????" A voice called from down the hall.

"Good job guys."

#paul mccartney #paul mccartney x reader #george harrison #george harrison x reader #john lennon #john lennon x reader #ringo starkey #ringo starkey x reader #ringo starr #ringo starr x reader #the beatles #beatles fic #fanfic #beatles fanfiction #beatles fandom #time travel #cross posted on ao3 #wattpad

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concealeddarkness13 · 8 months

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Writeblr Battle Royale Fight 2

Content warning for needles, blood, and death by electrocution. This is the second (and last) fight for Chess! Thanks to @saltysupercomputer for Daiko, and good luck in the future battles! This event is from @writeblrbattleroyale! Also tagging: @ratracechronicler, @maple-writes, @pen-of-roses, and @drabbleitout!

I glared up at M as he spoke again. “And now the round 1 has ended. Unfortunately for me, some of you players tried to go against me, but I give you the benefit of the doubt. I haven’t introduced myself. People call me M. I don’t know if it’s my real name. I really don’t remember anything. I once was a full person that was cursed to roam the world, without being able to go beyond. I do have two goals I remember: I am the bringer of entertainment, and I am a bringer of death. This place really is the tight combination of both. You are my freak show now that my own freak was taken for me. I just need to make sure now you don’t try to escape.”

A woman appeared in the middle of the arena. She had fancy clothes on, and her eyes seemed to look into my very soul. “I am so sorry.” She points at me and someone else, and I blinked, and I was strapped down on a table.

Faceless scientists were standing over me, holding needles and knives, and I tried to get out of the straps, even trying to use my magic, but it was gone. I screamed at them, but they just laughed and injected things in me that made me nauseous, and as I was reeling from that, they flipped me over and cut at my back, and I screamed as my blood ran hot over my skin and over the table. I was trapped. I was helpless. I could never escape. I was just an experiment, nothing more.

I blinked, and I was back in the arena, with M standing over us still. There was a woman standing across from me, but I could barely make her out from the tears streaking hot down my cheeks.

M spoke again. “My fancy little crew here are all my helpers whose soul is in their own little dimension. I won’t mind putting you with my little collection.” I looked up, and the audience appeared almost out of nowhere. Some of them are real people that have no idea what’s going on. Some though, some people are dressed in old timely clothes, and smiling like someone has forced them to do so. “So, now it’s time for round 2”.

I glared at my opponent and activated my magic, letting the fire cover my skin to protect me. I had to survive. No matter what. I had to get back to my friends. “Fuck all of you.” I dashed toward the woman, clenching my fists as the memories still flashed through my mind. I would never be an experiment again!

The woman dodged, but I followed through, punching for her, but it barely bothered her. She just clutched her arm and grimaced. Fuck. I didn’t have time for this! I summoned a fire to my hand, fully ready to just give her a fire that would never go out and would burn her to death quickly, but she ran off, towards a pole.

“Hey, kid!” She climbed up the pole and looked down at me, her eyes glowing. “Come on, catch me!”

She was planning something, so of fucking course I wouldn’t follow her. I snarled and walked to the pole, melting it. “No, you’re gonna come down to me.”

I froze as a memory flashed through my mind, of someone leaning over me with a grin. “You’re my weapon, and that’s all you’ll ever be, sweetheart. You think anyone would ever care about a monster like you?”

A sharp pain brought me out of the memory. My leg and arm were most likely broken from the pole crushing me, but I still tried to push the pole off of me with my prosthetic. The other woman had to have not fared any better, right?

“Just…die already, you little pest!” I gasped, but she shoved a sparking wire at my arm prosthetic, and I screamed as the pain climaxed until I fell into the darkness.

I…I had died. I hadn’t been strong enough. I was really as useless and helpless as they had always said. I would never see my friends again. It was all my fault…

“…Chess? Chess! What happened?”

I blinked open my eyes, and…I was back on my world, with Vesper, Thorne, Jude, and Creed standing over me with worried expressions. I looked up at them and immediately started sobbing, and they hugged me as I grasped at them desperately. “There…there was this arena where I had to fight, and I didn’t want to, and I was so fucking scared.”

Vesper ran a hand over my head, and I buried my face in her shoulder. “You’re safe now. We’ll go to Killian’s. He’s been worried sick about you too. He’ll make some soup. Everything’s okay now.”

I nodded and let my friends lead me away. I was…safe. But what about the others?

#tw needles #tw blood #tw death #tw electrocution #writeblr battle royale #All's Fair

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citrus-perfume · 1 year

Text

continued from here

Suddenly he was yanked to the side again. He really didn't appreciate the ragdoll treatment here, but he realized that the guy had saved him, so he kept his mouth shut about it. Actually, thinking about it... this guy was kind of cool, wasn't he? He looked up at him, eyes interested, like they were drinking his image. His grip was so strong, and how dashing was that, swooping him out of the way of danger? He was certainly someone interesting. Clementine wanted to know more about him, this cool stranger.

“My, you are quite the magnet for misfortune today.” the guy got up and climbed through the dust and debris, trying the door, but he didn't open it.

“It seems we are trapped. Whatever was following you certainly has a horrid sense of humor, but at least we are unharmed.” Clementine looked thoughtful, but after a beat, cracked a smile. "Oh, dear... well, I can hardly blame them for wanting to follow me-- it's this darn charm of mine" he moved his hair behind his ear sweetly, pleased to hear a ghost was following him specifically. He tilted his head as he leaned back lazily, "I wonder what it is they wanted with me, exactly? Ah, well" He got up himself, walking towards the door. He wasn't worried about the situation. They were mages, after all. This might be a problem for someone normal, but they could just break the door down, and move the rubble out of the way.

Except. It wasn't working. The door still wouldn't budge. Was something affecting his magic!?

He did a simple spell away from the door to check. He was able to produce a weak spark from his pen, taking a few steps back... but trying on the door he was unable to do anything. So, it wasn't him. Something was up with the door, and the whole area around it, maybe even this entire room. Did the ghost or whatever do something, put up a barrier or sigil or whatever? This reminded him of annoying students during exam battles that were able to nullify or divert attacks so they did no damage.

He assumed the guy saw all that, saw him try and fail. He looked at him as if to say, 'what about you? does your magic work?'

#evade #ic #replies #solaris

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destisea · 29 days

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selective , private & slow activity multi media multimuse. with muses ranging from ONMYOJI , TWISTED WONDERLAND , HONKAI STAR RAIL , & MORE. crossover friendly, as most my muses are a mix of headcanons & canon. minors, personals and proshippers will be blocked on sight. est. 2023 , penned by RHYS / MUSE LIST

bound to: godfled , dvouer , paramythas , mythkiss

FEATURING BRIAR MOON , an original character for hsr

BLOGROLL: utsubotm , nihilara , abyssah , scmnium

my name is rhys, they/them.

just for starters, my activity is extremely slow, and i am 100% selective and picky about who i write with. just due to the fact my attention is quite unpredictable, and i do work a full time job which really wears me out.

if i dont follow you right away, or at all please dont take it personally. i like to keep my dash clear and not too cluttered.

if you write or interact with saccharot ( kae ), do not follow me or block me or whatever. likewise, if you write with kiingsroar ( dia ) or any of their other blogs, i ask you do much the same. i'd be more than happy to explain what happened and why i'm uncomfortable with these users. but please, i don't want them on my dash.

if you want to ship? tell me. i will never assume, or default to shipping with people. of course i practice the same, and like to make it very clear i want to explore a particular dynamic. if things wont work then that's fine! but i need clarity when it comes to stuff like that. i really go 0 - 100 on shipping, and LOVE development, and plotting.

i am also ship exclusive. i really feel pretty bad when my ideas i've shared are used with multiple people. as i said, i like chemistry, which means i really put a lot of work and thought into these things. and feeling like i am just another person in someone's pocket or collection is just. eh.

that said, i do not ship things just because they're popular. i seek legitimate chemistry and development when i'm shipping things. do not ever assume i'm going to enjoy a pairing just because it's a fandom favorite.

please tag realistic images of spiders.

please, i don't obsessively hover on dash or deep dive on people. i roleplay as a hobby, and rarely prioritize being here. if someone i interact with is GENUINELY an issue, or has done something problematic and troubling- chances are i very likely do not know. or haven't heard about it, because i really only come on tumblr to rp and post art. i am okay with being corrected, or told these things. but do not spark drama, accuse me of things im not aware of, or assume i am okay with it.

#DNI.#RHYS / 21+ / MST #my old pinned exploded?#body horror /

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spaceorphan18 · 8 months

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I was wondering how you felt about the centralization of fandom. I feel like now, I'm so used to hop on AO3 that as soon as I'm looking for something I might not find there, like meta, theories or simply fics for an older (related to AO3) fandom like Glee, I don't have a clue anymore where to look for them. I never used LiveJournal so I don't have the habit of checking it out. FFNET feels obsolete after spending so much time on AO3, and as for Tumblr... the search function is a mess (and I dislike the fact that so many people post fanfics directly in text posts, of course they do what they want but it's frustrating to search for like analysis or simple thoughts and only find docs).

Fanlore is often lacking (although I worked myself on filling some stuff a few times).

I was used to HP being my main fandom: it had its own very charming fan websites with tons of content that often still exist, but are different somehow.

So I guess my question is actually several questions:

- what do you think of fandom being generally more centralized nowadays

- where do you go if you seek stuff like writeups (AO3 allows them but doesn't feature so much of them, but I know the Glee fandom was THRIVING and full of stuff,I guess the waves of mass post deletions are part of the issue)?

- finally, how are you? 🤗 I'm always happy to see your posts on my dash even if my Glee hyperfixation has come and gone

Sorry, it may be a confusing post 😂 Too much stuff going on

Hmm - I guess I wonder what you mean by more centralized? Like that we find everything in one place? Do we find everything in one placed? I guess I'm a little confused (but I often am)

What do you mean by write ups? Do you mean things like meta and analysis? I just want to make sure I'm understanding correctly.

If I'm being honest, my relationship with media has changed and I'm not necessarily seeking out fandoms to engage with. (This is not a denouncement of fandom at all! Just that I'm busier and how I interact with things just is different now) I haven't hyperfixed on anything since Glee - and I'm okay with that.

I don't really know where people can go /now/ to dig into fandoms. I think Discord is one of the places - but you almost have to be engaged already and invited into one. I don't know where people are putting their thoughts and feelings these days.

For me - I listen to a lot of podcasts now (as well as YouTube) where I can hear people's takes on such things, but I can't necessarily engage with it (I mean, I suppose commenting is a thing but it's not my thing) and that seems to fulfill a lot of my desire to hear someone else's thoughts.

And, I mean, I've made a group of good friends on Tumblr that if I want a more personalized discussion on something I'll hit one of them up and spark a convo. (Of course I have people not on the internet with whom I do that, too.)

But I can see where it can be hard for someone who is just starting out on their fandom journey to find a place where they can really dig in with others. Tumblr would be nicer if it was more organized and if tagging did actually work.

And, you know, I kinda treat Tumblr like a journal - and just create my own content. I'm not necessarily writing for all of you, but to sort things out in my own mind. Having people read and enjoy my thoughts is just an added bonus. ;)

I'm not sure if I've answered or addressed all of your thoughts - but hopefully, some of that makes sense?

In the mean time, I am doing well. I'm in a better place personally, which is nice, because then I can get back to all the fun projects I enjoyed before the year of my mental health crisis. Hope you are well yourself! <3

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cosplayinamerica · 1 year

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Not all heroes wear capes; however, in the appropriately comic book sounding League City, Texas, there’s one hero who certainly does, and his good deeds are getting noticed. That hero is Dash Gordon, alter-ego of gregarious, family man Timothy Glover, whose early attempts to connect with his community while DoorDashing morphed into a life of its own.

Glover recounted, “On November 21st, 2021, my wife was sick, and I wanted to take us on one last big vacation. I felt like I needed to do something proactive that would get her out of the house, get her moving around, and we could be a dynamic duo together in the process. So I said to her, ‘let’s DoorDash’”.

“We’d ride around together, and she’d help me find the numbers for the apartments and the doors on the houses. After two months of Dashing, I wondered why aren’t people coming to the door? There was no social interaction whatsoever, and I couldn’t deal with that. So I said “I’m going to call myself Dash Gordon, like Dash from DoorDash, and Gordon from Jeff Gordon cause he’s really fast, and I’ll combine the two and I’ll be Dash Gordon.”

“So I started sending GIFs and emojis using the Flash and Flash Gordon to customers as I was delivering, or right before I’d get to their door, and they liked it. They’d laugh back or send something funny, but they still weren’t coming to the door at the magnitude I was wanting.”

That’s when Glover decided to take it up a notch, and made a purchase that helped set up his entire journey.

Glover continued, “I turned to my wife and asked ‘Would you order this? It’s a Flash costume. It’s pretty generic, not really expensive, and I think people will come to the door more, they’ll tip more, and it’ll help with our goals to go on our vacation’. So a couple weeks went by, and the costume came in, and I put Dash Gordon on my uniform. And I started dashing like that and it caused quite a stir.”

Glover’s big gamble paid off, as he was meeting more people at the door than ever.

Glover recalled, “If I did 10 dashes, 9 of them would come to the door. They wanted to see the spectacle.”

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What Glover did next though is what truly set his hero journey in motion, as he answered the call of someone not needing food from DoorDash, but help from their community.

“A woman posted in a local Facebook group saying she was struggling,” Glover mentions. “She was putting her feelings out there, and I felt really bad because no one was really giving her guidance, so all I did was type in that thread ‘Dash Gordon to the rescue.’ I then instant messaged her and asked ‘what do you need’, and she said ‘I’ve got a roof over my head, I’m in government housing, but I’m struggling to buy diapers and wipes for my child’. So I said ‘give me sometime and I’ll message you back’”.

“So then I put the costume on, I went through my neighborhood, I got donations to get diapers, wipes, and I even got some extra money to give her some for the next couple weeks,” said Glover.

This one charitable act then caught the attention of the local community. Dash Gordon was asked to join Helen Hall Library’s Pop-Up Storytimes, a storytime event for children, teens, and adults. Then he was also featured in a local documentary all about Dash Gordon. Leigh Kirkland wrote the story, and it went on to win a Savvy award.

Glover emphasized “It was a big deal.”

That’s when the Houston media market really took notice. Dash was on the morning news, afternoon news, and newspaper articles began to be written about Dash. What gave Glover a spark though for what to do next, was when non-profits and individuals in his community began to reach out, including special needs organizations, victims of human trafficking, and others needing help.

Glover then realized “We’re creating a community superhero.”

Like many heroes, Glover’s origin story was not always an easy one.

Glover recalled his childhood, “I’m a foster kid. I spent a lot of time in six foster homes. I was in two shelters and finally put into an orphanage. I was adopted at the age of nine by a family that didn’t really know how to raise kids. It was a little bit borderline abusive. I left at the age of 17 and headed to Rochester, New York, where I found my real parents. I got to spend five months with them before they passed away.”

Glover had to grow up quickly in the years following.

“After my parents passed, I was back on my own, got married at a young age, had four children, and went into the military. While in the military I went to culinary school, came out then got a job as a chef.”

Glover’s natural affinity with people propelled him into his next role where he hoped to be a beloved car salesman.

“I thought people liked them. I didn’t realize people didn’t like car salespeople,” Glover said.

Glover’s family grew to six kids, but then after a divorce, he moved to Houston. There he met his wife.

Glover remarked, “I’ve been married to my wife for 13 years, and she backs this Dash Gordon escapade. She keeps me grounded, because when you start achieving this level of popularity it's easy to get a real big head.”

What Dash Gordon has achieved in that time is rather incredible and speaks to the love from his community for his efforts and the outpouring support he’s received. And Glover understands that what matters overall is not the man under the mask, but how he’s able to use Dash Gordon’s abilities to provide platforms to speak for many whose stories don’t get such attention. In only ten months time as Dash Gordon, Glover’s focused on some incredibly important issues and underserved communities, including those with special needs and abilities.

“We’re partnering with Bitty & Beau's coffee shop. They are a coffee shop just for special needs employees. We’re getting League City a place called Howdy Homemade ice cream. They make their own ice cream, and they only employ those with special needs and abilities. They want to work. They want to do everything every other person wants to do. They don’t want to be [treated] differently. I don’t think people get that.”

Glover also connected with victims of human trafficking, and showcased the story of Nikki’s family and her daughter Mady’s story on his YouTube channel.

“Human trafficking is tough [to discuss], and the story I did with Nikki was very emotional and hard to get through. But that story was able to help get traction with Maddie’s movement.”

In addition to these causes, Glover also wants to highlight awareness of animal abuse, suicide prevention, veterans assistance, foster/adoption care, spouse shelters for women and children, autism, and mental health. All of which together help make-up the seven platforms that Dash Gordon tries to help and bring awareness to.

Glover remarked, “Those are huge things people don’t want to wrap their arms around. We want to put them in people’s faces, and we let a superhero do it. Because Dash has a voice now and people are using the voice to get what they need to get done.”

I asked Glover if he did anything himself for his mental health and to help him cope with hearing these heavy stories.

Glover replied, “A couple months ago I sat back and was frustrated. I thought to myself what are we doing here, and I told my partner Ben maybe I’d cut off social media for a couple weeks and take a break. He said “We cannot do that. There’s too many people depending on us. So I started meditating, taking small breaks, and getting good sleep. Everyone asks what I'm bad at, and it’s getting good sleep.”

That seems to have helped, as Glover’s found balance in his life and his purpose as Dash Gordon.

“I’m in a good mental place. I’ve gone through so much in my life that it’s hard to believe I’m standing here today where I’m at and I don’t have a lot of problems. I’m not on drugs. I didn't get wrapped up with a bunch of junk that ruined my life. I was able to somehow keep it together.

Glover’s faith has also helped carry him along these past months.

Glover remarked, “Whether you’re a believer of God or not, I just believe He’s had a hand on me and guided me through this whole journey. I finally had an epiphany while meditating that I’m just the vessel that’s delivering the goodness, the help, and the hope that people need. Someone else is driving the car, and once I relinquished that I’m not driving I was in a pretty good place.”

Glover spoke of his family often during our interview, and I was particularly curious how his children felt about their Dad dressing up as Dash Gordon.

“I have eight kids. Out of the eight kids I think I have two who are real supporters. The others either don’t follow it, don’t care, or hate it.”

Of course regardless of their feelings on Dash Gordon, Glover keeps his kids, and today’s kids, in his mind as he tries to make a positive impact on the world.

“I worry about the next generation. I worry about the kids being born now and what’s going to happen to them. But I don’t think they are lost at all, and in fact I think they’re really smart. But I think they’re fighting for things like freedom and to be different, much like the fights in the 50s and 60s. And is there anything wrong that? Is there anything wrong with being different? That’s why we are so diverse, because we are all so different. The world’s not a square and everyone fits in it. It just doesn’t work that way.”

I enquired further as to what advice Dash Gordon would give the next generation growing up today.

Glover said, “Never dream too little. Go big. Don’t ever strive for perfection. Strive to be excellent, just because you may slip and fall. Accept help sometimes. Especially for young people, I tell them to look internally. Where are you headed, and what do you really want out of life? Be respectful, and have a little bit of compassion, because in everything you set out to do people will give you advice when you need it. [That can help] take you to the [highest] level that you can achieve.”

One way this message has started to reach younger people is through a new series of books based on Dash Gordon created by local author Renne Siewers.

“The book covers the seven platforms we represent. There’s a story and it’s very easy to read for the special needs community, and all the illustrations were designed by the author. There’s a second book coming out in the series called Dash Gordon 2.0, which will tell how Dash Gordon came into existence.”

Glover is never one to let free time idle by, and as such he’s always looking for what more he can do. His wife’s suggestion last December led them on a path that’s allowed them to help hundreds more than ever before.

“I was looking for something more to do for the special needs community, and my wife suggested a winter formal. I said ‘there’s only three weeks till Christmas?’ and she replied “You can do it. You’re Dash Gordon’”.

Glover set about to create the event, and in part thanks to Glover’s familiarity with a venue, and the venue’s generosity to waive all fees, they were able to get the venue space for free. They got a flier created from a member of an Autistic mothers support group, and more assistance poured in, and they hosted the event the next day.

Glover remarked, “It was a smash hit. Way more people than we ever expected.”

This led to even more levels of exposure for Dash and the causes he’s been supporting. Ben, Dash’s partner and photographer/videographer, then suggested the next major step for Dash.

Glover recalled, “Ben said to me, ‘you need to start a Dash Gordon foundation’. I said ‘Really? You think so?’”

Glover was uncertain if they had grown to that point, but Ben emphasized how generous everyone’s been to the cause. “You did not have to raise money for the winter formal. Everyone helped to chip in to your cause to help the special needs community with the event.” Glover then agreed.

Word spread quickly of their plan and two days later they were contacted by a bank that stepped in to donate their time, and their services, to set up the Dash Gordon as a 501c3 non-profit. Now with the foundation created they’ve begun to set up other events, including their next one ‘Dash Into the 80’s”, which filled to capacity in just over two hours time.

Glover’s impact continues to be infectious. When asked about what he’s had to do to get further community involvement, he emphasized “I started just DoorDashing to go on vacation. I never reached out to anyone for any publicity. I never asked for money. I never made a phone call. Everything that happened was all organic.”

Ultimately I was curious if Dash Gordon could ever see ‘more Dashes’ in other cities.

Glover said, “What we’ve created is a real life superhero, and yeah he’s not out flying around, but he’s showing a genuine concern for people. He’s doing everything he can to make any moment of their life better, whether it’s a smile, a laugh, or showing up at an event, comforting a family, getting them food, or the things they need to try to get by. Anything we can do, we are going to do it.”

“Not yet,” Glover replied. “But it could definitely be bigger than Houston. It takes a lot to put on a leotard to walk around. I’m not in the most perfect shape, and to go out and be judged and people think it’s wacky [can be difficult], but I really didn’t care. I knew there’d be a shock factor, and people would take pictures, but I knew that there was more [I could do].”

Time will tell how many others will continue to be inspired by Glover and Dash Gordon’s incredible work in League City, but perhaps the next time you receive a friendly Door Dasher, or need help and ask for some through social media, maybe you too will see a friendly superhero near you step up to assist, or maybe you can become one.

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The Dash Gordon Foundation / IG / FB / YT / TikTok

STORY : Michael Miller // PHOTO: Elizabeth Conley

#causeplayer #causeplay #charity #Houston

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