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marlowethebard · 3 days

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Little Gremlin

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Tags:Astarion / f!Tav, hurt, injury, mild gore, comfort, end-game spoiler-ish. SFW, Fluff

Summary: Another introspection into Astarion's little glass noggin.

Words: 2.4k

Also available on Ao3

The city outside had finally begun to settle. The city Watch and the Fists, those who had not been tadpoled during the infiltration of the Absolute, were slowly putting a stop to the looting and helping the displaced and injured to aide.

The Netherbrain had fallen and taken the Crown of Karsus with it into the Chionthar. Astarion had seen Wyll and Karlach vanish to Avernus, and his phantom heart ached for his friend. Karlach’s battle was not over, not yet. Even so, the world felt mostly right. Everyone in the world that he cared about was more or less okay. Until the sun found him.

Those tiny prickles of heat in the veins of his face and hands were so small, so gentle at first, that he almost dismissed the sensation. He’d gotten so used to very nearly being alive again that random aches and pains had become commonplace. He didn’t think much of it until the burning began to rip across any exposed centimeter of flesh, searing his nerve endings and striking terror into his undead heart.

He ran then. He could hear her, his Tav, screaming for him. He knew Gale and Halsin were holding her back to keep both of them safe, comforting her, telling her to let him go, that he’d be all right. He even recognized the flare of jealousy that he couldn’t be the one to soothe her, that they had their hands on her when he couldn’t, somewhere deep beneath the pain of his burning flesh. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Panic had gripped him and all he could do was run. To try to find shelter. To protect her from what he was and what he had become once again.

The warehouse cellar he found was mercifully dark and quiet, in spite of the chaos still raging in the city streets. They had won, but so much was now lost to him. The sun had turned on him like a knife turned in a hand and took him away, back to the dark. To add insult to injury, it had taken his beauty, too. It wasn’t enough that he’d live in pain and darkness with his demons, but now he had to do it as something truly monstrous. He found a moldering pile of disused burlap sacks for a bed and curled into a ball, cradling his burned face with his burned hands, and he wept until the oblivion of the pain took mercy on him and dragged in into unconsciousness.

When he woke, he was completely certain that it had all been a dream. The familiar scent of dank mildew and rot filled his nostrils. He lay on a pile of rags on a cold, hard floor. He ached all over. He fully expected that when he opened his eyes, he’d be naked, manacled to the wall of Godey’s dungeon in Cazador’s palace with a fresh web of lacerations across his face and hands and neck – punishment for some sleight Cazador had dreamed up. He whimpered and swore, eyes still shut tight as he pounded his fist against the floor, sending a white-hot jolt of pain spiraling up his arm. He should have known better. He should have known better than to believe any of the events of the last months could have been real. Good things, like friends and freedom and love, didn’t happen for him. Some people were made to suffer.

When he opened his eyes at last, there was only darkness. No animated skeleton, wielding a scourge to beat him into submission. No chains. Only the scuttling of rats and the lap of water nearby. Cazador was dead. His bones and muscles knew the absence of his late master the way they knew weight and pressure. They were truths that didn’t need questioning.

The pain was just as real whether he was caged in nightmares, or awake. He held his hands up, and they felt tight, as if the skin was shrunken too small to cover the bones and sinews within. The dismal light in that dark cellar was too weak a thing to see the true extent of the damage, but he didn’t need to see it. He knew his hands, once so clean and smooth and fine, had flared like burning magnesium. They could only be charred and cracked, with fissures of raw, bloody meat now. He hadn’t seen his face in over two centuries, and for the first time in all that time, he was glad he couldn’t see it. He didn’t want to know what horror awaited Tav when he found her again.

Tav.

Gods, could he face her like this? Would she scream? Would she vomit in revulsion at his burned and mangled face and hands if he stood before her again? He ached for her, not just for her blood, but all of her, to hold her in his arms, to hear her sing and laugh. He could go to her. She was probably at the Elfsong right now. Probably half crazed, begging the others to help her look for him. Or at least, he hoped she was. He didn’t want her suffering on his account, but he hoped that she was alive and well, that she still wanted him.

That was another new thing with Tav. She had been a seemingly endless parade of new experiences and habits, but this most recent one, hoping, was by far the most unsettling. Hope had always been a monster; a relentless little gremlin that fed false promises and made the longings and desires brutally pummel him when he was at his lowest and darkest. It was apprehension and anxiety and a tightness in his chest, and it walked hand in hand with bitter disappointment.

But with Tav, it was also lightness. With her and the hope she brought him, his jaw was unclenched for the first time in two centuries. He gave himself permission to hope because with Tav, the things he hoped for came to be more often than not.

He could hope once more, he thought. She was her, after all. No one else was like her. She’d trusted him and cared for him, when all good sense should have told her not to. He hoped she could continue to care for him, to trust him, to love him, even in whatever state he was in. In darkness and in light. In pain and in ecstasy. In beauty and in monstrosity. For better or worse.

His lips felt tight when he smiled, felt like they were cracking, but he didn’t care. The thought of holding her was enough. The thought of her going mad with worry over him was enough. He even chuckled at the thought of the shiner she had probably given Gale as he tried to hold her back.

Very well, decision made. He would find her and accept the outcome.

When he emerged from the warehouse cellar, he was surprised to find that things were better off than he had feared. He’d found a whole nest of rats, which, vile as they were, were still vital. As he drank each one, he felt the creature’s blood filling his veins, soothing those scorched delicate passages within him. In the light of the fires the Watch had lit in braziers all around the lower city, he could see his hands were not the melted and charred ruin of flesh he pictured. He couldn’t tell about his face, but it didn’t feel so stretched, either.

Astarion kept to the shadows as he picked his way around rubble and the ruined homes and shops. When at last he reached the Elfsong, he was surprised by how little damage the tavern had sustained. The damn thing was not only still standing, unscarred, but it was open for business. Roaring, too, by the look of it. He stood in the darkness of the burned-out shell of what used to be the headquarters of the Baldur’s Mouth Gazette, watching the comings and goings. And then, suddenly, she was there.

Bathed in moonlight, she stood on the balcony like an ingenue taking the stage in a play. Even at a distance, Astarion could see she was as much of a wreck as he imagined she would be, and it made his phantom heart flutter with joined delight and misery. She was still in her leather and scale mail, still covered in blood and grime. Her hair was pushed back off her face as if she’d run her hands through it so many times that gravity gave up and let it just stay that way. He couldn’t stop smiling.

Tav was scanning the street, watching the patrons as they came and went, obviously searching. For what, exactly, Astarion didn’t know, but that little hope gremlin that had taken up residence somewhere behind his ear whispered to him that she was looking for him. The clouds scudded out of the way of the full moon, dousing the sad remains of the broadsheet’s foyer in sickly yellow-gray light. She saw him. Stared at him, her mouth hanging open. People passed in the street. Time slowed. Astarion was sure that if there had been music playing, it would have faded out with all other sounds as they looked at each other.

As if a spell had broken, she bolted through the balcony doors. Astarion could hear the commotion inside their rooms, could almost track Tav’s progress as she tore through the upper floor of the tavern and the noisy bar room below. She burst through the doors at street level, tripped over some rubble still littering the street before all but launching herself into his arms. She was usually so careful of his sensitivity to touch. It warmed his cold dead heart to see her put own need for reassurance ahead of him for a change.

He thought she would bombard him with a tirade of “do you know what you dids” and “how could yous,” but it never came. Instead, she just held him, her arms and legs wrapped around him, so similar to the first night they had slept together, but so much more genuine. More real. Just more. His hands hurt where they cradled her weight against him, but it was nothing. She wanted him, without his asking, and any pain was far away, blocked by the radiance he felt with her in his arms. She leaned her forehead against his, her natural heat stinging the still tender burns there, but he wouldn’t move her. He’d die with her like that if it was what she wanted.

“Come upstairs,” she whispered at last. She slithered down his body, taking his still-wounded hand in her own without hesitation. Astarion imagined all of the eyes on him as they waded through first the pub full of strangers and then the common room full of their companions, but no one said a word. If they had been coached or were stunned into silence, he didn’t know. Whatever the case, he was glad for it. When at last they were alone in the bathroom, she pulled him into her arms again and brushed her lips against his swollen, tender ones.

“It’s awful, isn’t it?” he asked, not sure he wanted the answer. Smiling, she delicately cupped his cheek in her palm, called him a beautiful idiot and told him to get undressed.

And that was the end of it. No flinching, no sad look that was too full of pity. No rallying speech about how he’d be better in no time. She just called him beautiful, like she always did, and called him an idiot. Like she always did. To her, nothing had changed. No matter what his face looked like, he was still him and she still loved him.

In the bath, with her back against his chest, she told him how after he left, she had indeed punched Gale, and she may have accidentally kicked Halsin in the worst possible place as he carried her away from the pier. Both of them were still salty about it. As Astarion gently scrubbed dried blood and dirt from her body and face, she told him how this was the first time she had stopped moving in the 24 hours since the brain had fallen. She had helped refugees and sifted through rubble to find survivors. She’d loaded dead illithids onto carts. She did anything she could to keep herself from running blindly after him into the wreckage of the burning city. Mercifully, Gale had stopped her from trying to cook for the city’s newly unhoused.

Her yawns grew more frequent as they talked. Though she insisted she still wanted him to feed from her, and then, perhaps, make love to her, Astarion could see her spirit was willing, but the flesh was growing weaker by the moment.

They were both still naked when he carried her to bed in the gray hour before dawn. She rolled onto her side to give him access to her neck and was fast asleep before he finished feeding.

Astarion woke from true sleep as the sun was setting on the following evening. Tav was still asleep, curled with her back against his chest in the same position she had been when he had drifted off himself. It wasn’t dark enough yet for him to venture out, but in truth, very little could have made him want to. He was still amazed at how her blood sang in his veins, how it had repaired most of the sun’s damage, leaving only a few faint red lines on the backs of his hands where the burns had been the worst. He’d known he loved her, possibly from the very start when he held a knife to her throat, but any doubts about it had long since evaporated.

As if she could feel him watching her, Tav stirred, muttering in her sleep. He lay beside her, head propped up on one palm, and thought to himself that this was what he wanted most. It wasn’t power, or wealth, or even to be free to walk in the sun again. If this was to be his life, for the rest of his life, it was all he could hope for. He could live without all of the other things if it meant opening his eyes and seeing this beautiful woman, asleep next to him, drooling a little as she snored.

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Notes:

Hope you enjoyed this little fluffy self-indulgent introspection.

Musical Inspiration – Sight of the Sun – Fun, Miss You So Badly – Jimmy Buffett, Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen (Rufus Wainright version)

Visual Inspiration - https://www.tumblr.com/daintysclaw/746584182996844544/the-pic-lmaoo?source=share

#bg3 #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #my writing

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autisticalastor · 2 days

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it's so hard to look at the downside

Pairing: Alastor/Angel Dust

Rating: G

Tags: Fluff, Age Regression, Cooking, Regressor!Angel Dust, Caregiver!Alastor

A/N: Title comes from DOWNSIDE by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME! Also, the recipes used are the same ones I use at home, all quantities provided!

Alastor looks up from his book as he feels something — no, someone — flop down next to him on the lobby couch. Even without looking up, he already knows who it is. Only one person other than Niffty (who doesn't weigh nearly enough to be noticeable when she drops down onto something) has the audacity to get that into his personal space without looking for a fight.

“You're back late,” he observes. “Or is it early when it's past five in the morning?”

“Don't know, and don't care,” Angel Dust replies with an air of misdirected irritation. “Val had me working through the night again. Only good thing to come out of it is I'll finally have a day off now, but even that's just ‘cause he wants to get some sleep.”

“And you? Don't you think you should be heading off to bed yourself? Preferably before you cause some kind of sleep deprivation-induced catastrophe… again.”

“Blow up one wall and no one ever lets ya live it down,” Angel grumbles. “No way I'm gettin’ any sleep right now. I'm still feelin’ too much like a live wire. Way too on edge.”

Alastor considers this a moment. You'll never get him to admit it, but over their time in the hotel together, he's grown quite fond of Angel Dust. He's found they have common interests from when they were alive, and if you can keep him on topic, Angel can make for a wonderful conversation partner. He also isn't half bad of a dancing partner either, and certainly the only other person at the hotel who truly appreciates some good swing.

He's also found that Angel's behavior towards him has changed over the time they've known each other. Angel is much more open and vulnerable with him now — by his own choice, even. Alastor really isn’t used to that, but he's found he truly doesn't mind. He's even found himself becoming able to anticipate Angel's needs to an extent, and it seems now is going to be one of those times.

“Well, I was planning on making some breakfast for everyone today anyways, and it's about time I get started on that. Why don't you join me, since you won't be otherwise occupied?”

Alastor normally hates being bothered by others when he's working on something, especially when he's cooking. Angel knows that, and looks up at him a bit surprised. “Ya sure?”

“I wouldn't offer otherwise, bon ami. Do go and change first, though. We both know Valentino won't be any kinder to you if you get food all over the clothes he bought you.”

“Think I'm that uncivilized, huh? I can cook without makin’ a mess, Smiles.”

“You can meet me in the kitchen once you've changed,” Alastor says firmly. Angel makes a face at him, but heads off to his room nonetheless.

Keep Reading

#hazbin hotel #radiodust #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #agere #sfw agere #age regression #hazbin agere #hazbin hotel agere #hellaverse #my writing #x

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elffees · 21 hours

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How Fragile Allyship is Portrayed in Frontiers of Pandora

So I really love this audio log from Priya and needed to talk about it. This entire post will be based on this log.

Transcript:

"I ... it's Priya. Obviously. I don't know what day it is. Nothing makes sense... Alma's dead. Alma. Is. Dead.

Oh wow. That's weird. But you know what the really weird, screwy part is? There's this whole other Alma just walking around. Except she's not blue and she's got tiny eyes. Do we all have such tiny eyes? I just ... I feel like good Alma was killed. And we're left with this other one who everyone hates. But really it's the same person. Or is it?

I don't know what to think. I'm not really the one for existential crises, but this is a real brain-breaker. And I'm ... I'm sad. My friend died. No. No. She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right. I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She was protecting them. She tried. Right? Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure. And that other Alma... she wants to hang out, just like old times. But... she's not my friend. Not— I think I hear someone. Signing off."

This audio log can be found in the Resistance Hideout.

I really like this log because it encapsulates the different ways allies & marginalized peoples view and are affected by certain situations.

Disclaimer before I start: I am not saying Priya is a bad person, nor am I saying allies are bad people.

For starters, I can understand why Priya, and likely other Resistance members, have mixed feelings towards Alma. It's a very complex situation. So Priya regarding it as "weird" and being at a complete loss makes sense.

What I want to focus on in this post are the last 3 paragraphs. Where she expresses confusion and hurt because "Good Alma was murdered".

I think this right here is a very well written distinction on how allies and the marginalized communities they assist experience situations differently.

Alma's Reveal

Everyone had their worlds turned upside down when Alma confessed the full extent of her actions in TAP. Alma admits that her avatar was a tool for manipulation. Although she may care for the Sarentu children now, for the majority of their relationship, from the genocide, to TAP, to being frozen and left behind, Alma's avatar was a tool to manipulate and coerce Na'vi into viewing her (and by extension TAP, then later the Resistance) as "one of them". As someone to trust and relate to. The purpose of her having an avatar was to act as a golden ticket into Na'vi society.

Alma was not "murdered". There is no "good" or even "bad" Alma. There is only Alma.

The human who played a role in the massacre of a clan, then manipulated its survivors for years, then left them behind to remain in stasis for nearly 2 more decades.

Who is also the human who founded the Western Resistance and tried to band together several Na'vi clans to protect Pandora, who encouraged the Sarentu to reclaim their culture and customs the ones that didn't expose her ofc, and who helped rid Pandora of cackling narcissist John Mercer.

There is only ONE Alma that has done all of these things.

Alma was not "murdered". Her tool of manipulation was destroyed. The object, the mask, the weapon that gave Alma her power and confidence and that helped her fool not only the Sarentu, not only the Resistance, but also herself into thinking she was something she was not, was taken from her.

Alma was not murdered. She was thrust back into reality.

And so, Priya's last 3 paragraphs interest me. It's completely fine that she mourns the image of who she thought Alma was. In a way I think the Sarentu (sans Nor) do as well. Everyone thought Alma was just a good person who only wanted to help with no ulterior motives. It's painful to realize that was far from the case.

But then Priya goes on to hate Nor. She spits his name out like a curse. Glad he's gone because "he never liked them anyway". That he had no right to "murder" Alma because she only did a few "bad things".

There's a lot to unpack there.

Priya's Blaming of Nor & It's Ties to Fragile Allyship

I want to break down the lines one by one.

She was murdered. I know she did some bad things, but Nor had no right.

For starters, it is EXTREMELY COMMON for allies of marginalized communities to "insert their two cents" on a delicate topic. More often than not when there is inter-community issues, allies have a tendency to say the phrase: "I'm [insert demographic] so take what I'm saying with a grain of salt, BUT I think..." Any and all oppressed classes have heard this phrase from MILLIONS of allies before.

The FOP writers did remarkably well at capturing what allyship looks like when writing the Resistance. Because Priya, as a human formerly part of the oppressive group trying to wipe out the Na'vi and Pandoran wildlife, fully believes she can judge whether Nor had a right or not.

It's not her call.

She cannot determine whether Nor was justified or not because she, as someone part of the privileged class in the world of the game, has never suffered from the harm that Alma's avatar has caused.

She, and none of the Resistance members, were raised by Alma's avatar.

They were not lied to by Alma's avatar for YEARS about the true fate of their families and loved ones.

They were not encouraged to view Alma as a mother-figure or nurturing teacher or beloved caretaker, when she was actually just eager for fame and success.

They were not put into cryosleep and then left behind for 16 MORE YEARS with suspicions that this abandonment was an intentional coverup.

They did not suffer any of that.

They saw her as the leader of the Resistance and as a friend, which does cause an impactful betrayal of course, but Alma's avatar never tried to force them to see her as family. As someone to love.

While Priya only says all this in a private audio log and thankfully doesn't say it to any of the Sarentu or god forbid So'lek, these are her thoughts. The simple fact she believes she can judge Nor, that she has the capacity and authority to scold one of the main victims, is a reoccurring feature of privileged allies who struggle to realize that they cannot relate or ever fully understand how marginalized communities experience oppression.

Priya says Nor had "no right" to "murder" Alma. When truthfully, Priya has no right to judge how the Sarentu feel and respond.

I'm glad he's gone. Maybe he's glad too. He never liked it here. Never liked us. Humans.

After Priya attempts to place judgement on Nor's actions, she then dives deeper.

She is glad Nor is gone. Not ONLY because of what he did to Alma's avatar. No. She is also glad he's gone because Nor was not friendly.

Another prime instance of fragile allyship is that allies tend to believe that marginalized people are only worth their sympathy if they're likeable.

This has a lot ties to the "Perfect Victim" concept.

Because Nor was not friendly, because his trauma caused him to distrust humans and he did not quickly get over it and befriend Resistance members, he is undeserving of as much sympathy as the other Sarentu.

It's seen as a positive that he's gone (despite the fact he ran away in clear emotional distress.) Not just because of what he did to Alma's avatar, but because now Priya and the Resistance no longer have to assist someone that's "ungrateful" and "not as nice" as they should be.

The purpose of being an ally is to help oppressed classes survive against circumstances that would otherwise have them discriminated against or have them dead. Being a truly good ally should not hinder on whether the person is "likeable" or "grateful" for their services. But sadly, in the real world, that is one of the most common "conditions" a LOT of allies have when it comes to offering support. How much they like the person or groups they claim to want to help.

Allyship is more often than not based on likeability, rather than morality.

But we're trying to help. Alma was trying to help. She tried. Right?

Another feature of fragile allyship is the tendency to change sides.

Priya agrees that what Alma did was wrong. She understands that.

But because of the simple fact that Alma is human, Priya not only relates but tries to defend Alma's actions. Seeing herself in Alma is understandable because they are both human and were friends. The problem comes when Priya begins to project and defend Alma's actions.

It doesn't matter that by her own admission Alma's main goals were fame and achievement. It doesn't matter how much the Sarentu are hurt by her actions. It doesn't matter that Nor was outraged. It doesn't matter that even calm and collected Ri'nela was disgusted. It doesn't matter HOW the Sarentu, as the direct victims, feel about Alma's actions. It doesn't matter that intent ≠ impact.

Alma is human like Priya, so from Priya's POV, Alma's 'intentions' hold more value than how the Sarentu were impacted. "We're" trying to help. Alma was trying to help. So her actions can't have been that bad. Right?

Mercer's the bad one. That's all I know for sure.

And finally, this is another feature of how allies tend to respond to things.

Of the two, Mercer is the one who unabashedly committed the massacre and oppressed the Sarentu for years. Mercer is "the bad one" because his actions are overt. They are clear cut, obvious, and maniacally evil.

When real world marginalized groups face microaggressions or covert prejudice, allies have a tendency to step in and defend the offender. "Hm, I don't think that was racist." "Are you sure that's homophobic?" "It's just a word. I don't see how it can be ableist to say." - "It's not like it's really hurting anyone."

When oppression is not as clear cut to allies, they tend to dismiss it entirely. It doesn't matter how the victims feel about the situation. As discussed earlier in the post, allies tend to think they have the authority and capability to make judgements on prejudice they do not face, and ergo believe they can determine how "bad" something really is. Better than the marginalized class can themselves.

In Priya's eyes, Alma is better than Mercer because Mercer's oppression was harsh yelling, explosions, and murder. "Mercer's the bad one" while Alma was "only trying to help."

But in truth, both Mercer and Alma have done and continued to do harmful things. They both played a part in the decimation and continued manipulation of the Sarentu. Both for their own selfish purposes.

Oppression has many faces. It does not always look the same, it is not always a mustache twirling villain. It can be subtle and quiet. It can be hidden behind gentle eyes and smiles. It can be from "good intentions" just as easily as it comes from "bad intentions". It can be subconscious, it can be self aware, it can be secretive, it can be out in the open. It can be many things. There is not only "one bad" style.

Oppression is just as diverse as the communities it aims to harm.

Conclusion

I want to reiterate that I do not dislike Priya and this post isn't a hate campaign against her. I know many dudebros in the fanbase unfairly criticize her.

The point of this post is to applaud the FOP writers. It is very rare when mainstream media is able to accurately depict how fragile allyship is. Priya's reaction to Nor stabbing Alma's avatar is painfully realistic to the many ways allies have reacted to certain situations in the real world.

This is one of the many reasons why I love this game and feel it hits home. Not only can I relate to the Na'vi clans, but my god can I relate to the way allies are written in relation to them. And I feel like this audio log from Priya, while brief and easily missable, is one of the prime moments of realism this game portrays really well.

#it's such a minor audio log / note #but it really hit me and i just had to talk abt it #frontiers of pandora #avatar frontiers of pandora #afop #priya chen #alma cortez #lexi plays afop #long text post //#long post //#sorry lol

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bucklikethedollar · 1 year

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idk how to say this without sounding really boomer-ey, but like, what happened to horror content for kids? maybe i’m using the word “horror” a little liberally but i remember when i was a kid there was SO much out there that existed solely for the purpose of scaring kids in a safe, fun, age-appropriate way. just off the top of my head there’s goosebumps, scary stories to tell in the dark, tales from the crypt (little before my time though), coraline, mirror mask, monster house, dark crystal (more incidentally scary but w/e), even courage the cowardly dog; all these really fantastic books and shows and movies that let kids explore being scared on their own terms.

now there’s idk, those new addams family movies? but those aren’t really scary.

i see people talking about the “kid-ification” of horror games and i can’t help but wonder if part of the reason kids latch onto that stuff so much now is because there’s nowhere else for them to experience healthy, safe fear. a little kid wants to get the thrill of being scared, but their parents won’t let them watch any actual horror movies, so they go on youtube and what do you know, there’s markiplier playing another cheap horror game set in a toy store or whatever, and now that kid’s fear quota is being met. (obviously there’s more to it than that, but it’s a theory i have)

this like, doesn’t really matter probably but idk, i feel bad that ~kids these days~ aren’t getting the experience of something scary made specifically for them with their genuine enjoyment in mind, rather than whatever the next fnaf ripoff is that just wants to sell them merch. being a kid and watching a well-made scary movie feels like you’re finally being taken seriously; you’re not being babied or coddled, you’re being trusted to face the skeksis and the other mother and the nebbercracker house and not back down. i wish people were still making media that respected kids that much.

#obviously i’m sure there’s still stuff like that being made somewhere #but not nearly to the extent that it used to be #i think about this a lot lol #bucky’s thoughts #coraline #goosebumps #scary stories to tell in the dark #tales from the crypt #mirror mask #monster house #courage the cowardly dog #the dark crystal

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gayvampyr · 7 months

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im glad we’re finally talking about lack of technology literacy in younger people. everyone assumes we’ll automatically be good at it and have all the know-how because we grew up with it, and sure i might be more knowledgeable about it than say, someone 15 years older, but technology is changing and becoming more “turnkey” and a lot of the customization and workarounds just are not that accessible or obvious anymore. several tech companies boast that their new products are so simple and easy that a baby could do it, and users no longer have to figure out or understand anything behind the scenes because look, there’s a button right there you can press for this issue and if you’re still having problems you can just take it to a technician.

and im not saying this is inherently bad, it’s more accessible to people who don’t know anything about technology, but we are losing our computer skills because we don’t understand the tech and don’t see a need to. you buy a phone or a laptop and it’s perfectly usable fresh out the box and you don’t have to do anything to customize it because they’ve done it for you, which sucks especially considering they often don’t even want you to mess with the programming or software. customization is discouraged so they give you a handful of options they picked out and that’s that, and if your computer goes kaput then instead of learning how to fix it you can just throw it away and buy a new one! and while turnkey tech is a good option for a lot of people, we should still be encouraging know-how and teaching tech literacy in school as we become even more dependent on it. so many young people are struggling to work on computers and no one thinks to teach them because of the generation they’re in. it’s a major issue.

#like i know so little about programming software and engineering and i’ve tried to get into it but im not a kid anymore and my brain isn’t #nearly as malleable as it used to be #and so the concepts come a lot harder to me than they would have in grade school #the furthest extent my official computer education went was making mother’s day cards in photoshop and ms paint #so #text post #technology literacy

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birdricks · 4 months

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just remembered the pheonixperson fight [walking into the ocean]

#litearllye very single fucking thing about it.#what did they do to you….#i loved her.#then you were always a bad friend.#never thought this was how id die.#and other memorable quotes.#i rlly hope if (WHEN.) they bring bp back they address his time as pp #bc its rlly quite horrifying. ik they did to some extent w rickternal friendshine #but theres a lot of layers to it that u cld still go into. especially the fact that hes probably 90% artificial now.#andddddd w birddaughter. pleaseeeee #but oh my god. really so heartbreaking for rick to spend all that time mourning bp #i mean. not technically canon but in the comics he mentions it A BUNCH #and then he finds out hes alive. but as a zombie who barely recognises him. and then he nearly kills rick.#its crazy to think that pp was a One episode thing technically #like he was in the post credits of another ep and it took a while to fix him #but for us the audience he was only in action for. 10 mins?#if that #but ohh… how long was he working for the federation behind the scenes…. i dread to think #and his memories now…. he like blew up his fucking mind. im curious how much he actually remmebers of it #ohhhh bp … 💖 pleaseeee please come back to us

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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[ID: digital fanart of the owl house. The piece features Luz, the collector, and kid belos. Luz is in her season 3 design holding her bat and a backpack with her palismen inside. Both items are at her side and she looks on at the audience with a determined expression. The collector is on her left and is facing away from us with a mischievous face. Kid belos is on Luz's right, holding a wooden sword in one hand. The shading on him is reminiscent of a 1600s ink ink drawing. The background is black and white text above the characters reads "thanks to them, 15/10/22". End ID]

Happy owl house eve folks! Sorry about the UK date system <3

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #kid belos #the collector #toh belos #ME WHEN THE COMING OF AGE STORY USES ANTAGONISTS W/ ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT TO ACCENTUATE THE HERO'S GROWTH 😭#seriously tho the way that luz (and hunter and eda to a lesser extent) act as like. narrative mirrorballs for nearly all the major bad guys #it's so good. chefs kiss #it's part of why a character like lilith is so rich she has SO many characters to bounce off of!#and again i think it's neat how toh has (so far- we'll see abt that ending) made a story abt a hero who like. has an escapist fantasy #of going to the demon realm and becoming a witch and running away from all her problems forever #and the storh tears that fantasy down! it says that it is objectively selfish and childish and unrealistic #and then. it still lets luz love the place she's in? the boiling isles is a real place and not just a vehicle for aesops #luz finds out her escapist fantasy world is a messed up place and yknow what? she sticks around to make it better #in both big and small ways #and belos and the collector contrast her perfectly in that sense- they both tyrannically/carelessly reshape the world around them #and absolutely refuse to accept a world that doesn't operate on their childish pretenses #and the only real difference between them and luz is the fact that luz learns and grows and changes #belos refuses to do this under pain of death and the collector is yet undecided #and whatever direction he goes in will probably define not just luz as a character but the owl house's thesis as a whole #in other words #I'm ridiculously excited for thanks to them #it airs at 2 am for me but i will still be staying up late to watch it and live chat w/ the besties. autism at work

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strangerpsychofficeparks · 1 year

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Oh I forgot to mention both also rely on twerking as a source of humor because that's what the kids think is funny these days, right?

#listen i know they're not the same level of bad.#as it is i would FAR rather watch she-hulk than velma as it at least tries to respect the nature and tone of its source material #whereas velma basically puts the original characters' names and outfits on unrecognizable garbage #but I'm just saying #i'm sick of shoddy one dimensional representation being used to cover up bad writing and selfish characters #if you liked she-hulk i am sorry #it isn't nearly as bad as velma from what i gather #but the girlbossification of velma and she-hulk #as though they weren't already strong female characters in the source material #is not something i personally find appealing #also i know jameela and mindy have different roles and extents of influence on these shows #i just thought both coming from nbc backgrounds and being involved in these projects was a strange coincidence #velma #scooby doo #scooby-doo #velma dinkley #mindy kaling #she hulk #anti disney #anti hbo max #anti hbo #hbo max #ps i am a woman so don't come at me saying my critique of she hulk is sexist or some bs like that #i WANT strong female and minority representation.#but this... is not that.

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yooniesim · 1 year

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This is not my anon but this is exactly how I feel. I've made my own mistakes but that was never why they were in the convo. They saw how badly I was suffering and swiftly took the opportunity to kick me while I was down and that's just the truth. The quick pivot into easily transitioning the anti-blackness conversation into absolving themselves and all their friends from their mistakes & various acts of bigotry by discrediting my voice in a few decisive moves was legendary. The priority & focus of the conversation was no longer about the important issue and became an almost sadistic pursuit of my "downfall". It was fucking dirty and manipulative to the point where i almost have to admire it. And emphasized to me that empathy just isn't their strong point.

We all have bias including myself and that was clearly at play here. Some of the shit I saw said about me was simply not true or completely misrepresented and I was brushed off for pointing that out in the replies. And the fact that plenty of people believed it at face value with no proof whatsoever was acceptable to them and even people that saw what really went down with their own eyes but wanted to save their own reputation with these simblrs went along with it. They even chose to believe the word of a known racist over me because it fit their narrative. Once again the vague post + wave of hate from followers method was deployed, but this time I was already at my limit before it even began. I was degraded & talked over by several white people and essentially silenced and blamed for my own violent & bigoted harassment because i hurt people's feelings on simblr and was too "annoying". I was the subject of some pretty awful shit both here & IRL to the point where I was at one of the lowest points of my life and I was basically told to eat shit for asking for time and empathy. Even after apologizing and admitting what I had done wrong, they continued to pile on and beat the dead horse because the fact of the matter is they just want me gone and ostracized & have ever since I first slighted anyone in that friend group. Which solidifies to me that another one of my mistakes was to expect any of this on simblr to be based in actual ethics or a sense of morality.

For it to be about the racefaker & anti-blackness, I didn't see 1% of the anger and name-calling towards that being from them compared to what was thrown my way & it only exploded after I had apologized for that situation and that being was long gone from simblr and kicked from my server. And it was clearly because no one was angry enough at me for their liking. "We got a racefaker in the community yeah but oh no look, that negro uses kpop gifs and was too aggressive and bitchy towards us!" Shit. As much as my reaction to the situation was never about corpsetrait & all about my own feelings and situation I was going through, which was terribly wrong of me & I still apologize for, it was clearly a similar thought process with them. And many of the posts and actions I've seen have been purely performative when you consider the nonexistent (and even mocking) reaction to what happened to me compared to the people they liked. Whereas I've spent quite a bit of time defending & trying to see other people's perspectives when I simply should've never wasted my own time or mental energy. Trust i will never make that mistake again.

I took the opportunity to apologize further and delete the channel in my server because I've seen how it was a bad idea & how it negatively affected others and me as a person, and there's nothing like being at the bottom of the barrel to humble a dumb bitch like me. But y'all better not make the mistake of thinking you're better. I know exactly what kind of chats you got, as well as the anons & messages you send, and you ain't slick nor fooling anybody taking that moral high ground. Especially while saying some of the worst things about me out the other side of your mouth. The difference between us is that I can say I was wrong, and I've never seen y'all do that once this entire time. I'm going to work on myself, and I highly advise y'all to consider the same. And if you hate me, if I annoy you, you're just going to have to block me. Because I'm not going anywhere because of you. And if you got some vile bullshit to say, I'm blocking & ignoring you. Period.

#text #ceci speaks #nonsims #petty #the irony is palpable #nearly broke for a min but now im medicated so i dont care anymore #yall are dirtier than any simsecret anon #tho some of the specific talk i saw there in the past makes me think ur there too #fucking vultures the lot of u #at least i know i can get beaten down to this extent and still be here #still aint deactivating from ur age old tactic #im made of tougher stuff than that and probably all of u #im gonna work on being less petty but im not gonna be silenced in general #dont apologize to people who hate u bc they dont care #im only sorry to:#the people in the server and my followers disappointed by my response #my friends especially ones that are black that i didnt protect #and veone for calling her out of name and reacting with anger and fear instead of empathy #everyone else can eat my ass #ill also keep in mind how much and who i use gifs with #but no one is taking away my special interest bc u have a personal vendetta #and a need to grasp at straws on how to hurt me

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boomerang109 · 8 months

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me: famously not a morning person

me: would you like me to pick you up at the airport at 7:15

#this person has helped me move out twice and I have technically helped him move out but not the same extent #so I’m offering to help him move in/pick him up from airport #but like. ugh why so early #also im getting my room set up more today but for some reason that has ended up with me getting distracted and I’m hand washing a rug??#ive never hand washed anything in my life it goes in the washing machine and figures it’s shit out #but I’m forcing myself to break cause it’s nearly 2 and I’ve only eaten cheerios so it’s time for the free sandwich my friend’s friend gave #us #life of a boomerang

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medicinemane · 1 year

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I just think that the main barrier to being good at a lot of different things isn't about that you couldn't be good at it, it's about time, and it's about affording equipment and materials

It's gonna be a lot harder to find the time for even one hobby if you're working full time, and make no mistake, there's a real problem of getting what you need to actually work on stuff

#that's why if I ever did make videos about carving; I think I'd try to stick to just my knife and my gouge; cause that's 90% of what I use #one carving knife and a medium sized flat gouge will do a lot for you; I like my skew and such; but those two are what I need #I even have a feeling you could get by with an exacto (not nearly as good; but the point would be budget)#not sure what you'd use for the gouge #but if I did do videos I might look into it; would be kind of nice to be able to say 'it's not what I'd do; but he's a broke technique'#like... part of why I would only want to put out free stuff and no like... paid courses (which are fine)#is cause I'm used to being broke; that's who I want to help out; the poor fools like me #cause even people I like with woodworking on youtube who are about doing it on a budget... they still say to drop a fair bit of mint on it #and that's more for furniture making; but... love to do that some day too #and you know how I talk about stuff you know making it easier to do other stuff; there's a lot I think I could tackle with my knife #like... I'd like to once again kind of challenge myself if I did get into that #like what can I make with a dirt cheap saw; an exacto; and whatever I find for a gouge #how cheap can I make this to do?#And can I make it something they can do even if they don't have space?#like can I make it so they could do it over carpet if need be so long as they vacuum?#how unideal can I make things and still have it work? cause I think a lot of us are in very unideal circumstances #and to an extent who I most want to teach are the people who are like I was; in many ways still am #no really money making skills; trouble working for whatever reason; just kind of screwed #and I want to be able to say 'I can't promise you this'll work; but I've made it simple enough maybe you can try it'#'and I'm not saying you'll make money; but at least it's something; and at least it might be fun'#like... I can't recommend woodburing; that kit cost at least $100; think more like $200 #that's not cash people have just lying around #I get that even asking to spend like... $5 on a saw; $5 on a blade; $5 on a gouge; and $5 on wood... even if I got it that cheap #I get that sometimes $20 is a big ask #I want to be able to say 'I'm not telling you it'll be your masterpiece; or you might not want to upgrade some of this stuff'#'but here's how you can go to some damn mega corp hardware store and come out with enough stuff to do this with little cash'#hard enough to get started on stuff; I want to lower the barrier to entry to as close to zero as I can #course... that means me getting more of my shit together; mean me building furniture and stuff #can carve at this point of course; though haven't in some time cause gotta get that commission out #not saying I make amazing stuff either; or that I know if I can teach at all

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thetooncrew · 1 year

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do you know how much the 2019 album “false alarm” by two door cinema club changed me literally forever. without that album tooned would’ve literally never become what it is today

#squidspeak!#satellite and once pretty much changed the course of rose's character #instead of being a pessimistic teenager she turned into a hopeful but anxious kid that just wants to help out #and i know part of it is because i used to have severe depression and now i don't have it as badly BUT false alarm also helped with that. so #if it werent for 1) pinocchio-p 2) tdcc 3) owl city to some extent tooned would not be nearly as complete nor Good SDFHOGKN #weird al is. He did something to it also #tooned

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honeyvenommusic · 1 month

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#the idol system is such a fascinating and scary thing to me #like hearing shit over the years it's like how does anyone survive it?#(i'm staying away from all the anti-blackness of kpop & their fandoms rn so just the system)#((that was more for me bc my brain wants to go in that direction bc hooooooo. it's the main reason i cannot vibe w more than a few songs #over the last almost 15 years cause like knowing.... anyway))#like i just got groundfloored w a group rn via jbrekkie shoutout michelle like literally their debut is 24 hrs from now i've rabbitholed #since i heard their snippet on her vid and like the way ppl talk about it already like... as an outsider it's like alriiiight here we goo #they're (mgmt) pipelining another group of ppl let's be sure to support it! streamstreamvote!! oo it looks like their taking the toy/doll #route w these girls super aesthetic let's goo. & like......????? and ppl are already rabid about it. it's wild. and like this is the system #this is it. they make groups and then tease and the people who follow the conglomerate see it and are waiting to #be fed another x amount of folks doing formations and looking cute/hot open wide and consume #(like ik some (or a lot) of those accnts are bots/plants to pad the release and gain traction against algos but like also real folks too)#like not to discredit their vocal work (&dancing though some (alot) of these grps are not nearly as lit w 'dancing' as folks hype em up to #be Frfr. good movers/formations/camera motion & body rolls do not a dancer/good choreo make) but it's really secondary for a lot of #folks atp it's so strange & fascinating. and like i dug the song that's why i'm here so no knock against that but just the factory of it al #it's so damn WILD to me. but at the same time let's be real here. same dish different kitchen for a lot of western pop #they're just more transparent about it and have streamlined finding their popstars & having the public be great w it #it's just... i think it would be less strange if stan culture wasn't a thing or at least more mild than it is now #if it wasn't blown up to this unfathomably massive ever-churning industry by people in literal droves #idk idk i have a lot of thoughts on kpop it's truly a very interesting thing and to have been aware of it and into it to #an extent a while before the sonic boom in the west is an incredibly wild thing to look back on #like i wanna follow this (mostly cause i wanna hear the whole song) but also v curious but also like man the system is bad for many #reasons & here's another batch on the conveyor belt. idk :/#like as long as the participants are happy and healthy and being actually taken care of and not advantage of then great but #yk. the music industry at large is horrible (and esp to women) so like. god ide wanna think about the disparities btwn girl & boy groups #(like to start are they not referred to as 'male groups' on the reg but 'girl groups' more often than 'female'? always w the infantalizing #like given girl group has way more ring than female group but the words still conjure up different things it's just how language works #but boy group idk if i've ever really heard someone use that? and there's been a long time battle w the reclamation of 'boy band'#like it's still dirty for a lot of folks but anyway v western context but there's a large fanbase here so many fans speak as such #this is what we call our own pop groups etc. and it's just interesting and sad idk anyway it's just... huuuhhh a lot.) ok gn lol

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girlfictions · 6 months

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something i’ve been thinking about lately is like. growing up muslim right after 9/11 is something i’d never really reflected on much because it was all i’d ever known — at 5, my friend’s mum didn’t let her invite me to her birthday party because i was the only brown girl in our class, at 12, my classmates would joke about my family being part of isis, at 16, my dad was interrogated by american airport security for hours — and it always stung and it always hurt but it was just the way things were because the western world hated muslims. but i don’t think i’ve ever fully comprehended the extent to which we were hated until now.

palestine is being turned into a mass graveyard. every single day there are new photos of the atrocities being carried out against them and videos of them pleading for help and still those who can actually intervene turn a blind eye. israel is claiming to only be targeting hamas “terrorists” while bombing a refugee camp. israeli police raided and assaulted a non-zionist jewish neighbourhood. israeli soldiers are posting tiktoks of them torturing captured palestinians. this is not a complicated issue and it never has been. ethnic cleansing is being committed right in front of us. and yet the western world leaders refuse to call for a ceasefire.

and while zionist organisations accuse pro-palestine demonstrations of anti-semitism, while zionist celebrities insist that they’re afraid to leave their mansions in los angeles, a six year old muslim boy was stabbed to death and his mother wounded in the same attack in chicago. a muslim doctor was murdered while sitting outside her apartment complex in texas. hundreds of peaceful protesters have been arrested (many of whom have been jewish). despite what zionists want you to believe, this is not a jewish/muslim conflict. i have so much love and gratitude to my brave jewish brothers and sisters all over the world who are condemning israel for their actions.

ultimately, israel have been granted impunity by the west. they have slaughtered thousands upon thousands of innocent palestinians. they have bombed hospitals and schools indiscriminately. they have used white phosphorus, violating the geneva convention. they have completely eradicated nearly 900 bloodlines. how many more need to be wiped out? how many more children need to be buried underneath the rubble? how many more doctors need to be confronted with the bodies of their own family members? how many more journalists need to detail the horrific acts of violence they are witnessing? what more can be done to the palestinian people that has not been done already?

i truly believe that palestine will be free one day. i believe the palestinian people will receive the justice they finally deserve. but what breaks my heart is how much they have suffered and will continue to suffer before they are deemed worthy of help. and it would be to all of our detriment if we ignored how much of a factor palestine being a predominantly muslim state has played into the way the world has reacted to their genocide.

#edit: this is completely okay (and encouraged frankly) to reblog <3 #i just needed to get this off my chest because i don’t know how much more i can take #palestine #free palestine

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