#but my gosh it worked well for us
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What are your hashtage heel hacks? 👀
These #heel hacks are going to be SO basic for anyone who actually knows how to train a heel, but for me training my first sports dog, they were so helpful.
**A note that these worked for my dog, a brittany spaniel. These #hacks might not be the best course of action for a dog with different engagement, focus, or drive. Don't @ me, I stand by my methods for my dog.**
In no particular order, here are my foundation hashtag heel hacks:
decide what you want your heel to look like before you start training. prancy? jump into heel position? touching your leg? eye contact 100% of the time? all valid, but decide what you want before you start and keep that picture in your brain. be realistic though.
train a pivot right away. we (shoutout to miles who actually taught it) used the bowl method. mav has zero rear end awareness, but you need a pivot for a truly nice heel and the bowl method works great.
train a stationary heel position. treat SO MUCH when it looks like your goal (hard eye contact, touching leg, tight sit, whatever). i used the pivot bowl to start but faded it really quickly so he didn't depend on it.
train a "get into heel position" (finish). start with one side and get it fairly solid before working on the second side. i personally think a right finish is easier than a left finish. i give different cues (get around / get in) but you don't have to. i shaped it but you can lure it with a hand touch.
give treats generously and consistently when the dog is giving you the heel you want. mav has received literally thousands of treats and kibbles for offering a nice heel position.
watch where and how you're treating. you can very easily throw off your dog's position and cause crowding or forging by giving treats in the wrong position. (at the beginning) i hold treats in my left hand and bring my hand to mav's nose so he doesn't move from heel position. i have not had any issues with treats affecting his position, but i know this is one of the most common issues people face.
if the dog is distracted, pause training. i usually ask for something easy like a nose touch, then release so he can go check out whatever was distracting him. i don't care enough to force him through his distraction (although i used to, and it made him not want to engage with me at all).
teach heel off leash if you can, but practice heeling with the leash on a variety of gear too!!! treats in your left hand, leash in your right hand, and keep the leash loose. i don't use a leash to teach heel position but i do practice at least once or twice a week with a leash on.
(this #hack sucks but) literally practice every day. we live and train mostly in a tiny apartment and we practice 5-15 steps of nice heeling every night for dinner kibbles.
I don't use body pressure to teach heel, it just doesn't interest me and i don't mind spending extra time shaping it. with that in mind:
i don't use a wall to keep the dog straight (EXCEPT when i was teaching back up, because mav has no rear end awareness). i shape it with hundreds of reps and treats. if he heels askew, i just ask him to fix himself and he does.
i don't use a platform or the edge of the carpet or anything. i don't want a slightly crooked mat in a trial to throw him off so i don't (purposefully) train any association with lines on the floor.
i only work on heel for tiny, tiny portions of time in a session (45 seconds at a max). for example, I'll do 10 seconds of heeling, then some spins, then some position changes, then a bow, then a jump, then 10 more seconds of heel, then pivots, then fronts, then stays. i keep it SHORT and heavily rewarded and that's how i get nice dependable engagement.
For my next dog, here are some things i'll do differently than mav (mav was my first puppy and my first sports dog, i simply did not know better):
rear end awareness. that dog will know where her butt is is2g.
pivots and stationary position much sooner - mav didn't have this until he was almost 3 years old.
more turns. not even pivots, just working on keeping my dog's attention when i change direction. this was a battle with mav since he was a baby and i only fixed it a few months ago.
That's really it! These are extremely basic foundations and tips (not even hacks) but i didn't know it until i tried it. It takes a long time to get a nice heel, and even longer if you're getting prancy with it, and even longer if you're lazy like me and only do 45-60 seconds of heeling a day.
Be generous with treats and be patient with the both of you.
#dogblr#hashtag heel hacks#foundation heeling#basic dog training#about mav#anyway i love talking about heel since i figured out how to make it fun to train#i used to do the age-old pop the leash crowd against the wall methods#and it was so unpleasant i hated doing it and mav hated learning it#i switched to shaping and it was sooooo much better#i think heel is one of the only things i truly shaped - i am generally a luring person#but my gosh it worked well for us#if you hit a roadblock hmu!! i may or may not be able to help but i can at least point you somewhere#i have read sooooo many heeling resources
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SAY IT WITH ME:
FEMALE CHARACTERS CAN BE WARRIORS AND FEMININE
MALE CHARACTERS CAN BE SMART AND MASCULINE
BEING BOTH IS NOT A "FLAW" WHERE ONE NEEDS TO BE REMOVED
IT'S CALLED "COMPLEXITY"
#i won't tag it#but#HECK if i wanted to chuck episode 5 out my window and then run it over with a car#i mean these issues have definitely been hinted at before ep 5 but that one just went ALL IN#i knew from 3 and 4 what they would probably do with hakoda but GOSH am i bitter about it#i swear if they don't walk this back somehow and make hakoda a bad overbearing dad or whatever i'm gonna riot#and katara's whole 'you know i'm not good at this [womanly] type of stuff' NO SCREW YOU WHOEVER INCLUDED THAT#WHY#if you want a female character that rejects the stereotypes of femininity you'll get one in season 2 gosh DANG IT#you don't need to try and force katara into that role#sokka wanting to use his brain AND fight well is not a flaw#katara wanting to use her waterbending to fight AND knowing how to sew is not a flaw#OH i hate this#i hate this so much#i can understand the need to change story elements to work better in a different format#i don't think they're always doing that WELL but i can understand the need for it#but i will never understand why they felt the need to butcher characters' personalities#again some things won't transfer well i get it i really REALLY do#it's like with sanji in opla how he had to be toned down - that makes sense for a live action adaptation#just removing things simply for the sake of removing them? no just no#'updated for modern audiences' has become a curse to my ears i swear because it always means the same thing#'we're going to remove all complexity and make it as one note as possible so we don't offend anyone'#there was nothing wrong with katara or sokka or aang or anyone else that they needed 'updating' yall are just close-minded#ok rant over just REALLY needed to get that out...
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I can't find the post any more, but there's a post that says "Everyone should have a blorbo that's over a hundred years old" with the OP handing the reader a tiny Captain Nemo
I commented "I need to reread Sense and Sensibility so I can properly blorbify Elinor Dashwood"
Well guess what! I did. And she absolutely fucking is.
#tesserants#elinor dashwood#sense and sensibility#this is a marianne appreciation blog as well btw#part of what makes the novel work so well us that they truly genuinely love each other#but oh my gosh Elinor. My baby.
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Then they dance all night long the end.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#felix hugo fraldarius#honestly i remembered a work story that would really work with these two + someone else#like i as always would portray myself as felix and i remembered oh gosh i had a ginger coworker once who put up with my bs so well#and yeah like ok cool i could use ferdinand for that role though i GUESS syl would fit the role too#but like yeah ok too much effort for tonight to do a comic so here you go have Two Boys
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.
#....well#here we are again#'hello tumblr notes my friend#ive come to vent in you again'#i need the universe to Leave Me Alone#today my credit card got hacked#got it cancelled and set up to get a new one#but then when I went to use my debit card it wont work either#i have no way to pay for gas#and I cant call to see whats up till the morning#and my apartment door's automatic lock wouldn't let me in either#im in now but at this point in afraid to leave this room tbh#gosh im tired#i really hope things can just go easy with the credit card company tomorrow#cuz i dunno what im gonna do otherwise :(
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If there's one thing that I'm gonna be mad at Kubo for (well...okay...a fourth thing...), it's Ulquiorra saying "I'm the only Espada who kept his high-speed regeneration."
That was one of the coolest Hollow abilities.
I get that it would have made the top three nigh-unstoppable (Starrk especially), but...come on.
#it's not a BAD decision because it worked really well for Plot and also makes them more Human and Dramatic#wouldn't have been any fun if Grimmjow was just healing or if there had to be a better explanation for stopping#Number One than ''half his spine got severed in a backstab attack''#but...also if it was just something that others have#they still have Resurreccion though and that's cool enough#''oh you got me on the ropes PSYCH WE'RE GOING TO PHASE TWO AND MY HEALTH BAR IS RESTORED''#obviously if there was one thing it would be that thing#but that's not the topic here#arrancar#bleach#ulquiorra#if you can't tell I'm getting back into Tumblr and GOSH have I missed that#the dashboard is screwed and I dunno how any of you are seeing my posts#but I can use TAGS
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it's five o'clock in the evening when the video call comes through from lí chényǔ's number --- though the moment the camera turns on, it becomes immediately obvious that the man himself isn't the one placing the call. wendy's face mostly fills the screen, her eyes wide with concern, gaze flitting side to side as if she's attempting to be sneaky. she carefully ( pointedly ) adjusts the angle of the camera just right, such that the patch of damp, discolored plaster ( and the black mold splotched across it ) in the corner of the ceiling comes into view. all the rain has set it to leaking again; even as she videos it, several drops of water fall and land on the cluttered floor beneath, soaking into some ratty old towels that have long since ceased to serve their purpose in keeping what little free floor space there is dry.
in the background, a tv is playing faintly --- by the sound of it, a game show from the mainland. chopsticks clink against a bowl --- michael. wendy glances over at him where he sits next to her on the cramped bottom bunk, then back to the camera. the rain pounds against the single-pane glass; the wind rattles the window in its frame, whistling around the nonexistent weatherstripping. someone coughs as if they're drowning in their own lungs --- lí chényǔ. wendy's face falls, and she surreptitiously tilts the camera just enough to capture the scene.
lí chényǔ sits hunched on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a heavy comforter, a thermometer hanging from the corner of his mouth. his head rests heavily in one hand, a smouldering cigarette perched precariously between his fingers; even from this angle, the unhealthy flush on his cheeks is obvious. the thermometer beeps, and he scrutinizes it, expressionless.
"gēge," wendy asks, "what's it say ?"
"méishénme," lí chényǔ replies hoarsely, with a dismissive wave of his hand. he turns away from his younger siblings, then sneezes violently twice, unable to stop himself from groaning faintly in discomfort afterwards.
michael glances over at wendy, then takes advantage of lí chényǔ's distraction while searching for tissues to snatch the thermometer away from him. "chénchén, why's your temperature 103 ?" he asks worriedly, reaching out rub lí chényǔ's back when his big brother starts coughing again. "you're sick, please don't go play tonight, look how bad the weather is !"
"i won't be long," lí chényǔ whispers in mandarin ( it seems to hurt him to talk. ) "i just ... need to make enough to buy something so i won't cough all night and keep you both up. you have school tomorrow." there's a beat; lí chényǔ sniffles miserably, then turns to wendy. "wénxīn, i need my phone --- "
the video cuts off abruptly. and then ---
[ text to / 徐文哲 ]: its wendy he says hes going to busk at union square when the rain stops. winnie gege what do i do 😭 chenchen is so sick and im scared 😭😭
[ for wenzhe, from lí chényǔ / @xiianxias ! ]
@xiianxias | annabel & lcy rip len's heart apart hours~
There's a lot Wenzhe associates Lí ChénYǔ to. Mostly things he doesn't want to speak out loud because they're romantic and flowery, dreamy and ridiculous. Certain hands and caresses of a musician, little habits and that contrasting cigarette, the tenderness of a good man coupled with the harshness of the world sitting on his back.
Eyes with enough in them to fill the basin of the sea stretching between this coast and the mainland. Tentative speech and the intelligence hiding behind the language barrier, broad shoulders nearly solely in the metaphorical sense because if his sleeves slip his arms are thin, a brother and father both, someone a thousand times better than Wenzhe will ever be without ever asking to be considered anything more than just capable enough to be allowed to continue being capable, that little smile and the Mandarin Wenzhe mouths after him and pretends it's not to imitate his lips.
Enough to get lost about, enough to lose focus during classes, enough to stop at corners and create connections between a busker he's not and the music he plays, between a drugstore and that terrible cough, between a restaurant and warm food he'd like his siblings to taste.
A whole lot of things.
He often forgets this part.
The cough. The look in those basins of the sea. The siblings. The hope. Careful. The sense of responsibility. The weight on those shoulders.
Wenzhe thinks of the beautiful man and the notes of one of the saddest instruments the world has created and too often doesn't associate its solemnity to its player.
Wenzhe almost walks into a pole.
In and out of a campus café where he works on his way back home, the food there isn't glamorous or gourmet, or even fresh at this hour, but it's soft and pastry, it's sweet, it's never as high-class as all Vienna has to offer in terms of chocolate and desserts, but it fills the stomach and makes sweet-tooth's sigh. Wenzhe doesn't quite know how to ask 'is it all right' and 'what do you like', so he forewent the mortification and just bought the damn thing.
If Lí ChénYǔ likes it, good, if he doesn't, mark it down for next time.
Now it feels heavy in his hands.
The call cuts too abruptly. He'd been too focused on not frowning at his screen, on ignoring the pain of slamming his shoulder into the pole to narrowly avoid it, on wrapping his mouth around the first syllables of 'what's wrong did something happen-' before Wendy beats him too it and knocks the words back off his tongue.
He tries not to panic. And almost sways with the relief at getting a text.
He didn't know what his brain had computed could have happened between Lí ChénYǔ's cough, Mandarin he doesn't understand, and Wendy suddenly disappearing off his screen. But if his heart races any faster, he'll lose it and his hair within the next 24 hours.
[ unsent text to | 😖😵💫🥺 ] i'm on my way, tell him if he tries to go out i'll
He halts in his power-walk and nearly slams into someone.
He'll what, exactly. They're not that close. Or… are they? No, they are. But… he'll what. What could he hold against him?
What can you hold against someone you want to give the world to?
He slams his phone onto his forehead and tries again.
[ text to | 😖😵💫🥺 ] i'm on my way, once i'm there i'll figure out how to help him, okay? thank you for calling me.
A frown.
[ text to | 😖😵💫🥺 ] you did well! always call me in situations like these, okay?
Or maybe… not?
He's jogging by the time he's decided he'll overthink it later, and by the time the alley's in sight, and his phone is stuck to his ear, he'll figure he'll be put back in his place soon enough, if Wendy picks up.
#xiianxias#the guilty;wenzhe#;answered#long post tw#tw long post#scREAMING and CRYING as the kids say GENERALLY NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME--#i mean evilly enough I AM i LOVE LOVE LOVE this and I LOVE LOVE LOVE LCY thank you for this#i'm subscribing to your writing eternally ♥ BUT ALSO#i hope this works~ YOU WROTE SUCH BEAUTIFUL PROSE to describe the environment and michael & wendy and well wenzhe's just#THINKING SO YKNOW i promise i'll properly have him react to the sight of the situation once he's BROKEN IN apparently i'm#setting up the VIBES maybe? IDK ANYWAYS also about the texting pls ignore the emojis#wenzhe used to save lcy on his phone it's wenzhe-emoji-talk for 'i have a crush and i'm about to lose my MIND-'#;queue#gosh i think the closer they grow the more wenzhe's interest in learning mandarin will be coupled with FEELINGS & FRUSTRATION#i'll elaborate on discy he's Something Else--
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Picard
We're in the final stretch of the first season, and the gang finally makes it to the mysterious planet Soji recalled from her dreams. I haven't spent a lot of time on plot holes and other inconsistencies, but a pretty good example of my problem with the writing is how they found Soji's homeworld.
The Romulan agent finds out she's capable of dreaming, then gets her to tell him enough about the dreams to figure out that she's dreaming of home, then he gets her to do some sort of Romulan meditation technique where she can interact with the dream while awake, so she can look up at the skylight in her "father's" laboratory, and identify two red moons and constant lightning in the sky.
I mean, it's not a bad way to extract this information. The problem is that not even Soji knew what she knew, so it makes sense that the answers would lie in her subconscious. My gripe is that it's a tad convenient that her originworld would be so distinctive that this simple description would tell you everything you needed to know to find it. What if the planet had no moons, or whatever the usual number is in Star Trek? What if the planet had clear, unremarkable weather? What if the lab had no skylight? Also, why is the dream taken so literally? Soji saw her father working on a life-size wooden doll bearing her own face. That didn't actually happen so why would the two moons and lightning thing be true?
To be fair, we could argue that the dreams were purposely designed to contain information Soji could use to find her way back home, except the whole point was to suppress that kind of information for her mission. The Romulans discovered her dreams and exploited them, which makes it seem like more of a bug than a feature. But this all happened in Episode 6, and I'm here to complain about Episode 9.
So, the gang arrives at Soji's home planet, Coppelius, and while there's two moons, the weather seems quite ordinary and Earthlike. The Memory Alpha article even points out this contradiction, almost like they're making a joke, but maybe I'm imagining things.
"While Soji Asha was undergoing the Zhal Makh, she had a vision that this planet had electrical storms as part of its weather patterns, though the natural environment was quite sunny, with a hot desert-like environment."
I mean, everyone located the planet based on the details of her vision, but the vision itself was bullshit. Why wouldn't you just put some lighting storms on the planet? We know they can do that effect because they already did it when they produced the scenes of her dream. Just do it again.
When they arrive, all the other androids welcome her back and their leader is Noonien Soong's son. Not an android, like, his biological son. He's a cyberneticist too, so when the ban on synths went down 14 years ago he and Bruce Maddox ran off to Coppelius to make a bunch of androids. Then Bruce made Soji and Dahj and they went off on a mission to......
What the hell was their mission? I think Dahj and Soji were meant to infiltrate the Daystrom Institute and the Borg Reclamation Project respectively, but to what end? And Maddox was up to something on Freecloud, except his lab got destroyed and Jurati killed him before we could find out what he was up to. I think the idea here is that the Coppelius androids would have been better off if Maddox had stayed put, but I can't tell. Instead Maddox and Dahj are dead and Soji has returned to tell them that a Romulan armada is following her to destroy them all.
The crux of the episode is when everyone compares notes and the Coppelians learn about the "warning" the Romulans discovered that convinced them androids will ruin everything. They soon determine that the "warning" was misinterpreted, as it may have been intended for synthetic minds to comprehend. They perceive the message as a promise, one left behind by fellow synthetics, who claim that organic life forms will inevitably create, envy, and betray synthetic life forms. The message contains instructions to contact the ancient synthetics, who will come to rescue any synthetics who are being persecuted. Also, they might just wipe out the persecutors.
So the androids (and Soong) are like, cool, let's just call those god-machines and let them take care of business, but Picard tries to convince them to evacuate in his ship instead. He makes a bunch of pie-in-the-sky promises about Federation protection and getting the synth ban overturned, but Soong calls bullshit because no one listened to Picard before, and no one listens to him now.
So this could be a decent payoff on the whole "warning" business. The Romulans have been worried about it this whole time, but I was afraid we'd never get a clear answer on whether their fears were justified. Now Coppelius has the means to actually summon the horror that the Romulans were afraid of, so at least we'll find out if it's a real thing or not. My guess is that they'll make the call and no one will answer, or at least the answer they get will be much less awesome and terrible than anyone feared/hoped. It's the only way to defuse this, unless a Star Trek show seriously intends to call down God to settle things.
Don't get me wrong, this show still sucks. They spent most of this episode just sort of reacting to Soji's people, Soong, etc. Jurati makes a lot of funny faces and that Romulan guy kills an android by ripping her eye out, so this show still maintains its throughline of dumbassery and violence. The cliffhanger here is that Picard is placed under house arrest, so he won't be able to stop the Coppellians from summoning the machine-gods and he won't be able to evacuate them before the Romulan armada arrives. But that's stupid. The Coppelians took that Romulan guy prisoner and he immediately escaped. Yet we're meant to believe they can hold Picard against his will for more than ten minutes? It's just sloppy and dumb, and it takes way too long to get there.
For instance, there's a scene where the ship loses power on its way down to the planet, and it's dark inside, and then Rios uses his lighter to see what's happening. But he can't just do that, it takes several tries to get a flame, so we have to put up with several cuts to different characters with each flash of the lighter. And for what? This isn't a big dramatic moment. The ship's inoperative and there's nothing they can do about. But they waste a bunch of time like they're building up to something, as if Jason Voorhees is gonna appear behind them in the dark. The whole series is like that. It really sucks.
Now you might wonder why I'm still watching this crap. The show is really, really bad, and I don't think it's worth the trouble, so why bother sitting through the whole thing? What's the point? Well, take a look at this shot of Bruce Maddox's room on Coppellius.
Like Jurati's desk in Episode 1, it's got a lot of labware, but they actually took the time to get some decent looking props instead of just slapping some present-day beakers and flasks. Maddox has the same blue and red liquid in unfamiliar containers that Dr. Crusher had in TNG. There's some other stuff too, which looks vaguely familiar but not easily identifiable. Someone actually went to the trouble to make some convincing props here. They probably looked up photos of real lab equipment and designed things that would look just similar enough to look appropriate, but strange enough to be unrecognizable. I have no idea what this stuff could be used for, but it still looks like a workspace. Like I could see a person sitting at this desk and doing things with this stuff.
And that's growth right there. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't redeem the gripe I had with the Daystrom Institute set from Episode 1. This set only proves my point. They knew what to do and how to do it right, but they just chose not to do that until later in the show.
Still, it's encouraging to see a mistake corrected, even in a sloppy shop like Star Trek: Picard. I had to dig pretty deep for this moment, but it's worth it. Sometimes bad shows are worth watching just for these kinds of experiences.
#mike watches picard#sheer fucking hubris#plot twist: jurati killed maddox because she was jealous of his sweet lab#wait that actually makes sense#soong offered to let her work in his facility#she might as well use maddox's lab since there's a vacancy#oh my gosh agnes you murdering murderer#this absolutely sucks ass jurati's just mirror universed her way into a promotion and no one even seems to mind
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Ultimate study playlist
Someone's collected a bunch of Muse instrumental versions from across youtube and put them in a playlist!
#gosh I remember when I was trying to learn Showbiz I had an instrumental version I was referring to#I got really lazy to read off a sheet—I was Not Very Good at sightreading (though I suppose I could've found a tab version#but like I said; I got lazy^) plus I said fuck it; I have perfect pitch anyway so I'm just going to learn it by ear from the instrumentals#so. here. I was good enough to work out the notes but too stupid to realise that a pitchshifter pedal can actually send your sound up one#or even TWO octaves#and so I fucking. Tightened my string until it snapped and gave me a nasty cut on my hand#height of stupid - 13 y/o me discovering the power of guitar pedals lol. It was fun though for a short while I became Quite Good a player#but yeah this playlist does not have the same video... it's probably the same audio but it says it was uploaded 7 years ago.#My shenanigans were 9 years ago now :O It's been a while!#muse band#muse#music#muse instrumentals#muse audio#muse isolated audio#playlist#some of them are out of order - so you have a random Resistance era song in the middle of Showbiz#well. I'm gonna be using these!
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So umm found Welcome Home and yeah.....
#my art#starting drawing#welcome home#frank frankly#eddie dear#Welcome Home is such a cute little show. The characters are cool. (some of them I'm still getting used to.) I think Eddie is my favorite.#I choose to ignore the horror bit cause I am not a fan of horror. I know it's not real but I'd like to be able to sleep......#Also because I tend to overthink things. So horror and me don't mix.#If I wasn't an overthinker sure I'd probably enjoy a bit of horror.#I mean I could be just plain scared. It's hard to tell.#I do like the AU that Home is the villain...... I saw one comic about it that I'm like. Okay. It's not complete horror I can work with it.#For gosh sake I got scared with the Bethany Hamilton movie (shark bitting her leg off) Ew. I was forced to watch it-#and I wanted to curl up and die..... I am not a wuss/chicken/ ect. My brain just can't take it. I remember these things too well.#I am rambling I should probably stop. Thanks for listening Have a great morning/ day/ afternoon/ evening/ night. :)
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I feel like there are roughly two kinds of "painfully weird kid" that you can be during your K-12 school years. the first is your "I am trying so hard to be normal but I just cannot seem to hit the mark. there's just something wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it" and the second is the category I was in, which is your "everyone around me is so incredibly weird but they obviously can't help it so I will just have to accept this."
#being a deeply weird kid in school was definitely an experience#i feel like it's also heightened when you attend a private catholic school#there are just so many more layers of 'oh wow so this is...a thing' to deal with#like i honestly think the shit that private catholic schools do to a kid's head is worse for the normal kids#i was already at a point where i just accepted that my personal perspective of the world was radically different#and you really weren't going to convince me to start loving denim or perfume or makeup#so trying to get me to feel a bunch of religious guilt was also not going to work#i just added it to the long list of things that are important to most ppl that i just don't give a shit about and moved on#honestly being autistic in a private catholic school put me in a much better spot than a normal catholic student#the teachers would say something absolutely batshit insane#like telling us that 'mentally disabled' kids get a free pass to heaven because they have no original sin just like animals#(if u know ur catholic shit u can imagine the multiple layers of 'but wait!' involved in this statement but anyway)#and your normal catholic student would be like 'what?! for real! oh my gosh...but are you sure? oh you are. well...i guess it's true then..#whereas i would be sitting there like 'wow that is...a wild thing to believe. also u were staring at me for that whole speech so...'#like yeah i did get involved in the heated debates because it was hella fun#but in hindsight it would be really fucked up to be an actual catholic kid in that school because jesus christ...#a lot of our teachers even had strong disagreements over belief shit and would make us all take sides#so it wasn't even like unanimous weird stuff pumped at us. it was like conflicting weird stuff#one intense divide i recall was the simple but highly controversial 'do animals go to heaven?' debate#most said 'yes' with or without conditions#one teacher said 'yes and also disabled kids' which was fucked up and definitely directed at me whenever i was in the room#like some kind of fucked up 'it's okay because you'll get a better life in the afterlife sweetie' kind of thing#while others were like 'ANIMALS? in my heaven? I think not! what did they even do to earn it?! nothing!'#students tended to also be very invested and distressed by the thought of no family pets in heaven#but also very conflicted based on the facts being presented by both sides and also which teacher was their favorite so...
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I hate the shaky, kind of fizzy feeling of a blood sugar crash wearing off. Like, do I need to eat more, or is this just the residual tremors? Why is my entire face numb?
#Oh look i can't feel any of my extremities and my nose is cold again#gosh dang#i am so sick of my blood sugar crashing out of the blue#so far as I've been told i'm not diabetic and my sugar has always been pretty good every time i've been tested#but i've started having really weird episodes where my blood sugar PLUNGES for no reason#even if I've eaten pretty well recently#and i have no idea what that's about#also it makes my whole face numb and my hands and legs start to shake#my nose and lips go cold and sometimes blue#i can't really tell when my sugar is going to crash though because i no longer feel hunger#and a lot of the things that used to alert me to an oncoming crash just don't happen anymore#it's getting worse but when i went to get blood work done everything came back normal so i don't really know what to do
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late night doodles
still got seahorse on the brain
#my art#loz#link#botw#seahorse#ive been exploring more of the faron woods lately#so been using the thunder helm quite a bit#its also really useful when dealing with lynels#i have been trying to mix the snowquill armor with the champions tunic#the shape and detail is really nice i really like it#the colors however are not working with me#because the champions tunic is so gosh dang vibrant#it doesnt work well with the lighter colors that make up the snowquill outfit#cant go adventuring if you dont look cute :sadcowboy:
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who up crying in their latte
#NEW ALBUM AUGHHHHHHHHHHH#listened to it on my bus ride to work and it ended EXACTLY before i had to get off the bus#oh gosh. what an album#escalator was cute and it was funny using an escalator getting out of the bus station after hearing the album#you were meant for me crying and sobbing although the synths were a little harsh. to me#when you leave soooo fun and silly. xbox name drop really something#we go dancing was just so goofy like ok!!!!!#take me for a ride new favorite sparks song ohhhh im gonna be going insane over this one#just looked at the setlist and WHY aren't they doing take me for a ride live :(((( oh well#its sunny today so sad for no reason. stop making me feel emotions#it doesnt have to be that way AUGHHH . sparks inspirational messages#am i forgetting any songs before the last one .#OH a love story really silly and fun. what were they doing with russ's voice in places there#and then gee that was fun made me an emotional wreck thanks guys 👍#sparks tour 2023 spoilers#kinda . also if people dont want the new album spoiled yet#spars
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ah well gosh hi???
in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things
so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear
i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-
i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it
to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try
so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D
i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))
thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,
so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3
#rambling#delete later?#it feels so funny to get bothered by something that would be trivial to future me in like...idk a year?#i'm not as upset as i thought i'd be too- just mostly numb i guess..#also the reason why i can't bring myself to post the artworks i had- can i really talk about how much fun i had drawing them?#when i'm barely wrapping my head around the fact that i can't no more? and for an uncertain amount of time where i'll be too busy#too tired and too short on money to even think about drawing in the first place? i don't think i wanna get used to that but well#if there's one thing i can take from these vacations is that while you guys can't see it i really did have fun improving on my art#and gosh do i love what i'm doing so much that i personally wouldn't mind if it were just for me alone to see#but after sharing my ideas and works into the wild and watching people gather around to share ideas back-#i can say i like my art and the why is because it makes me happy! and it apparently does for you guys too so why not share! >:)#i also guess one of the reasons i'm not as active is cause of the whole need to compose myself and find the time to breathe and enjoy#the works of the others and mine and think of ways to express my feelings to everyone#and trust me sometimes i wish i could just write nothing and post/reblog- but it feels so empty#if i wanted to do that i'd make another account#no i want to talk about what i love with y'all and if i start rambling well no one's complaining!#if i see something made with the thought of me behind it then ain't no way in hell i'm not climbing rooftops yelling how much i love it#so if i somehow don't do that then i'm either too busy to even check tumblr- dead- or doing even worse somehow- so nothing against you!#guess i had that on my mind for a while now so please! i'm not ignoring you on purpose! i'm probably too wrapped up in my stuff to react#same for asks btw i am not joking there's so many and i live in constant shame xD :')#if you made it this far i am so sorry for yet another long post but i feel it's justified a little x) goodnight everyone! have a nice day<3
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I ended up getting pants in a similar style as my 90s swatch (bell bottoms but not quite) and I like them a bunch!!! I didn't think they'd be my style but they're really flattering! Maybe I should take some more insp from swatch outside of suits!
*glances at my corset swatch* 👀
#maybe someday....#swatch has been my stylistic inspiration for well over a year now and I get so much euphoria out of it#funky bird#gosh I love suits and dressing fancyy#swatch#I even did a loose cosplay of them for halloween and HHHHHHHh but I didn't get any good pictures... I even used some hair paint to make an#irredescent effect and it worked SO well!!!!!!
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