Teleporting nonsense? 👀 (where are they going)
Oh gosh, this one is almost aggressively goofy — Chuuya gets hit with an ability which keeps teleporting him to Dazai every single time that Chuuya thinks about him. Which, according to the laws of "trying not to think of a pink elephant", immediately becomes nearly impossible for Chuuya to avoid (also they are Weird about each other which doesn't help askdfjskdjf)
Here's a snippet from towards the beginning:
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Suddenly, without warning, Dazai heard an odd popping noise, and something—or rather, someone—materialized out of thin air, dropping on top of Dazai with a yelp.
…Of course, since Dazai was in the midst of tipping his chair back, he had no chance to brace himself, and he and the newcomer both went tumbling down backwards onto the floor, the chair producing a loud crash that echoed throughout the agency.
“Dazai!” Kunikida exclaimed, jumping to his feet and reaching for his notebook, prepared to fight the intruder. “Are you alright?!”
Atsushi jolted up as well, backing away from the chaotic jumble of limbs beside his chair. “Wait,” he said, squinting. “Isn’t that…?”
The newcomer struggled up from Dazai’s chest, his cheeks flaring redder than his disheveled hair, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly with an expression of utter fury.
Dazai wheezed, dazed from being so abruptly crushed, and propped himself up on his elbows. “Chibi is so heavy,” he complained automatically, peering up at his old partner. “…Chuuya? How did you get here?”
Chuuya flushed somehow even darker than before, the red spreading to the tips of his ears and down his neck beneath his choker. Before anyone could say another word, however, he jumped up from Dazai’s lap to storm over to the nearest window and wrench it open. “Stupid—fucking—ability user!” he shrieked as he launched himself over the sill. “Forget this ever happened!”
Then he glowed dark crimson with his ability and leapt away into the sky, vanishing over the rooftops of Yokohama.
In the aftermath, Dazai cautiously picked himself up from the floor, dusting off his waistcoat with an expression of disdain. “Such a messy slug, leaving without so much as an explanation,” he sniffed, and wrangled his chair back upright so he could sit once again. Before long, a sly look crossed his face. “Say, Kunikida-kun, since I’ve just been injured in an altercation with the Port Mafia, surely I don’t have to work anymore today—?”
“You’re perfectly fine!” Kunikida snapped, though not before checking over Dazai’s condition carefully. “…Still, that was peculiar. What do you suppose happened to him?”
Dazai shrugged, kicking his feet back up onto the desk once more. “Who knows?” he sighed. “The Port Mafia comes across all sorts of abilities in the course of their dealings. I expect the slug found himself up against some manner of teleportation-type gifted, that’s all. Though why he would wind up teleporting here specifically, I don’t kn—”
Before Dazai could finish his sentence, they heard another loud POP, and Chuuya once more appeared out of nowhere to drop straight down onto Dazai’s lap. This time, though still caught off guard, Dazai managed to remain upright in his chair by grabbing hold of Chuuya’s waist to steady him.
The pair stared at each other for a long, stunned moment, both equally nonplussed.
Chuuya broke out of it first and buried his face in his hands, letting out a low hiss of frustration. “Are you fucking serious,” he said into his palms, slightly muffled. “Every single time?”
Dazai grinned, sensing blood in the water. “Gotten yourself into a fix, have you hatrack?” he said innocently.
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im inflicting this stupid idea. suffer
Vaggie unknowingly taking her 7,777th life with her spear, from a mix of demon and angel victims, and suddenly the spear she was holding is gone and there's an infant CHILD in her hands-
tiny gray demon tail wrapping around her wrist, little steel grey horns poking out of white hair, soft fluffy grey wings fluttering on it's back
Vaggie, holding the child at arm's length: "Uh. Charlie...?"
Charlie: "Busy fighting, be right there!"
Vaggie: "Charlie. Baby."
Charlie: "Yeah??"
Charlie: "No. Not 'Charlie babe'- Charlie. BABY."
Charlie: "I mean I kinda like 'babe' better, not gonna lie, but-"
Charlie: "...."
Charlie: "Vaggie. Baby."
Vaggie: "Baby."
Charlie: "Where-"
Vaggie: "Spear."
Charlie: "SPEAR?!"
Vaggie: "h e l p." (baby coos and makes grabby claws at her) "C h a r l i e, h e l p !"
Charlie: "Shit, fuck- support their head! Support their head!!"
Vaggie: "H- ow???"
Charlie: "Like- it's like when you're cleaning your spear!"
Vaggie: (cradling baby) "It's got hold of my HAIR-"
Charlie: "-ohhhh my fffff-"
Vaggie: "Don't SWEAR in front of it!!!"
Charlie: "-fffather that's an actual baby. That's uhhh. That's a... We need to- BATTLE CANCELED! BATTLE CANCELED WE'VE GOT A BABY ON THE FIELD!!!"
Lute: "a WHAT!?"
Lucifer: "OH SPECTACULAR! Congratulations!!!"
Lucifer: "....wait."
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spending some more time chewing on the concept of byleth and edelgard constantly writing each other letters—both while one of them is off traveling and also when they're both at home and seeing each other every day. there's one on the emperor's desk in her study; one in byleth's storage locker in the barracks; one left on a pillow or slipped into a pocket or tucked into a book the other is reading.
the emperor is interrupted during a big meeting by a page delivering a "most crucial missive from the commander." she unseals it in front of everyone and it's a crude drawing of a smiley face that says "hello i love you"
edelgard would write these excessively verbose things, very heavy on the poetry and flowery language. there are a couple paragraphs of updates and then page after page after page of "i love you"s and "i miss you"s communicated in ten thousand different and increasingly grandiloquent ways. byleth has learned to bring a dictionary along on her trips so she can decode all the sesquipedalian nightmare terms edelgard uses to tell her she's pretty. most letters start and end with an implied threat that if anyone other than byleth reads it or finds out how soft the emperor is, there will be hell to pay, but it doesn't stop her from proceeding to go ham on the romantic sappiness.
meanwhile byleth's letters are. pretty straight and to the point. she's keeping her posted about the weather, about this dog that she met, about a cool tree she saw, and transcribing direct quotes and best wishes from their friends. but she also includes little mementos she picked up or shiny things she found (she's like a crow with pretty rocks, shells, and baubles), and presses flowers that she thinks edelgard will like, and attempts to sketch things she wishes edelgard got to see with her. it's painfully obvious that byleth will never have an artistic career, but edelgard adores every single drawing all the same.
(hubert made a suggestion to have the emperor and her adviser use different seals or envelopes for their personal and official correspondence. this was accepted as reasonable. several months later, edelgard found out he made the suggestion after the third instance in which he'd been doing his secretarial duties and responding to the emperor's mail, only to find the message from the emperor's adviser did not, in fact, contain the woman's latest report on the situation in fhirdiad or fodlan's locket, but a rather lurid list of her intentions for the emperor upon returning home to enbarr. one contained a diagram. hubert did not examine it.)
edelgard, who hoards every paper she's ever had reason to touch and who has a (frankly, pathological) filing system for everything in her life, has a special container for byleth's letters that is under lock and key. byleth, who lived out of a rucksack for most of her life and constantly had to consider carry weight when vetting her few belongings, doesn't really know how to... have... things. she struggled with toting around all this paper for a while, but couldn't bear to toss out even the simplest "meet me at 4pm for the council meeting" message. she had to make peace with the concept of using a drawer for something like long-term storage and frequently checks to make sure they're all still there.
both of them keep their favorite ones in the back of their respective journals and act like they're not so extremely, terminally soft on each other.
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had a conversation with one of my professors about achilles's physical description in the iliad and she said that the word used to describe achilles's hair, ξάνθος (xanthos, lit. "yellow"), is often translated as golden, tawny or auburn, but it can also mean "shining." we've talked in her class about how divinity in mortals is represented through their physical appearances. achilles's shining hair, then, is a representation of his demigod status: his divinity is literally shining on his head and flowing down his shoulders.
and i've been thinking about that a lot, and i realized that when achilles cuts his hair at patroclus's pyre, the narrative recognizes it as a signal that he will die soon. (he promised not to cut his hair until he returns to his homeland; when he cuts it at troy, we know that he will never go home.) but if his hair represents his immortal blood, then he is literally cutting away the divine parts of him before he dies. and it's interesting that xanthos signifies his demigodhood, because ichor runs gold.
(you may also recognize xanthos as another name for the river scamander, or as the name of that one horse that talks to achilles. it was a pretty versatile word.)
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i’m happy people are getting into podcasts because of the magnus archives and everything but i just. can’t imagine not ever listening to night vale? like it’s such a staple, it did so many things for the first time and did them better than other shows have done them now. idk! wtnv was the first podcast i was ever recommended and the first really queer media i consumed, so it has a really special place in my little podcast-loving heart. night vale is such a comfort show to me too, it’s weird, it’s gay, it’s wholesome, it’s calming, you getta here cecil say mind baffling things
go listen to welcome to night vale if you want a nice podcast to listen to, this show is still everything to me even tho i’m not ever getting caught up at this point lmao
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