#but it's so weird how it works both ways
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i am still thinking about cursed bodies as a fantasy and it's reached that point where i have a few pages dedicated to it in my notebook.
#( 🌿 ) bs.#although it'll remain more of an au#but it's so weird how it works both ways#except henry#no fucking idea what he'd do
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love the idea of the Avengers adding new members but being stingy about rooms so the OG Avengers each get their own but Bucky and Loki are forced to share one under the guise of it being 'healthy interaction'
#Bucky and Loki being friends but in a weird way and now Thor is concerned like 'i don't recognise my brother anymore T-T'#and Steve is grimacing and sighing like 'my chemical romance isn't that bad Thor you just have to acquire the taste'#Bucky and Loki bunking in a room together and people just forgot to give them a second bed but it's ok because they both sleep on the floor#they wake each other up from nightmares and when it's done/conscious they look at each other in slight alarm and just give '👍❓❗' '👍👍❓'#aggressive thumbs up before returning to bed still communicating with thumbs up like 'all good??' 'all good??' 'all good!' 'go sleep?!?'#they both are convinced that oily hair is a way to keep it healthy and dandruff free and like they're not WRONG bc it works for them#but people also hate listening to them corroborate such experiences with each other#like you can't deny their hair is healthy and silky when they wash up and get dressed for something. BUT. STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.#they talk about how the bath they share is so comfortable for two people and it's driving people up a wall#Natasha opens the door and sees Bucky in the dark propped against a wall looking half dead with earphones in#(he is watching a nature documentary Loki recommended)#they bond over times they were being controlled and/or suicidal in Tony's lab and Tony who was working nods along absently long used to it#Tony: ah yeah I have PTSD but im managing it okay for now with meds#Bucky and Loki: *making faces* boo 👎
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LISTEN. If we get a bisexual!Buck arc, I will ACTUALLY LITERALLY CRY, I’m already emotional just thinking about it, it will literally bring me so much joy
BUT
I don’t want it at the expense of an Eddie coming out arc…
Bc listen, I read a post talking abt how the writers probably won’t give both of them a really flushed out Queer Realization Arc bc it would be redundant, which like, okay sure, yes, I can see why you wouldn’t want to have two main, male characters going through the exact same thing, so sure, whatever, BUT -
I feel like, out of Buddie, Eddie is going to be the one that really struggles with coming to terms with his sexuality.
Eddie, who had to be The Man Of The House at 10 years old. Eddie, who grew up in the Deep South. Eddie, whose family is Catholic. Eddie, who already had a strained relationship with his judgmental parents. Eddie, who had a WIFE. Eddie, who says that what he had with Shannon was magic & compares every relationship he had to her. Eddie, who was in the military, which is infamous for DADT. Eddie, whose aunt constantly pushes him at random women because he needs to not be alone. Eddie, who canonically suffers from comp-het, saying that dating women feels like putting on a performance, not that he understands why. Eddie, who dated Ana & was planning on staying with her, even though he was unhappy, for his son.
I think Buck would be way chiller with realizing he’s queer - if he doesn’t already know, which is my fav head-cannon - & I feel like he wouldn’t struggle as much bc it’s Eddie, & Eddie is his best friend, and gender wouldn’t play as big a part for him as I think it would for Eddie.
I would love for them both to have an arc where they worked through their expectations when it comes to relationships & realize that they’re queer, but idk man, I feel like Eddie is going to be the one to really struggle & he deserves to really have that flushed out.
Idk, I’ve been thinking about this ever since I saw that post & nobody I know watches 9-1-1 😭
#buddie#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911#Queer Buddie Arcs#I want them both to have nice things is that really so unreasonable?#literally all of their other arcs take place at the same time#let them realize they’re queer & in love with each other at the same time too#honestly this only applies if Buddie goes canon which I’m not even convinced is going to happen#i have so many feelings#Buck would just be like “I’m in love with my best friend? fucking dope#bc my darling boy just wants to be loved & chosen & Eddie has already done those things#either way I wish they would stop putting them with random ass women who have been on the show for less than 10 minutes#I don’t need them to go canon in s7 but if we don’t even get a HINT of it this season I’ll probably quit watching#unless s7 is REALLY good bc they put some WEIRD shit in recently that I dfw#I have no idea how Tumblr is supposed to work am I doing this right? idk pls advise
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Fun fact I used to consume a lot of Land of the Lustrous stuff.
Anyways this is one of my many Land of the Lustrous OCs, Vivianite. Mohs hardness of 1.5, dark green/blue in colour, and very old. Due to the nature of his weak composition, Vivianite can't actually do much of anything, and has had to live under very specific conditions.
Vivianite wears a tight full body uniform to hold any chipped pieces in place, and is kept in a box stuffed with loose cloth to ensure minimal damage. If he comes into contact with light, he begins to oxidize and darken, so he's kept in a windowless room with curtains over the entrance.
That's all to say he's isolated and bored. He spends much of his time inactive, but he'll jump at the opportunity for conversation if there's someone around. Certain gems visit him to chat, get guidance, or give him the recent news. A task given to some gems is to clear his room of dust, and maybe bring him some books if he's up for it.
Vivian sees himself as an older sibling/friend to many of the other gems, and as such he's very keen on providing a listening ear and giving advice where possible to those who need it. He's essentially emotional support in a can.
Other notes/details:
not all gems know Vivian exists! He's hidden away so most gems wouldn't see him unless they were actively looking for him. A lot of the older ones know about him, but the younger ones don't
Rutile is endlessly tired of having to glue him back together so often due to his softness, which is part of why he has a tighter uniform to keep all his broken pieces in place
Vivian struggles with walking, he tends to be slow and stumbly
the tanks in Vivian's room are for jellyfish. Gems who are sent to clean his room have to switch out the jellyfish too. They're there to provide a faint light source so he doesn't go completely inactive
Vivian, despite living in a box in the dark, has a lot of technical knowledge about things as a result of millennia of going through the library collection. He' a living encyclopedia and can usually offer some answers if a gem has questions on a particular subject
his internal structure is basically a lot of shards stuck together like fibers, so he does minor repairs on himself by affixing strands of his hair into empty spots. He's had his fingers repaired and replaced this way often
In the few instances where Vivian has gone outside, he has an abnormally high amount of energy as a result of his inclusions being able to work at full capacity in the light
If I remember anything else I'll add it, anyways have a good day!
#houseki no kuni#hnk#land of the lustrous#hnk fanart#hnk oc#hnk bort#not mentioned in the main post but shit man Vivianite wants to perish 😭#he's always felt like a burden as a result of his weak body‚ if it weren't for the fact he can't walk outside#he would've thrown himself into the sea to never rise again#he'd always asked Sensei if there was a way he could get stronger‚ and that's partly why he read so much in hopes to find a cure#when he heard about Phos' body getting replaced‚ he was both distraught and excited‚ because he felt so bad for Phos#but this was a way for him to become greater‚ if only he could just figure out how to guarantee it'd work (because otherwise he'd be#a burden again as they are forced to repair him and look after him through recovery)#that's also why he likes to talk with people; he can serve and assist others that way‚ he's trying to compensate for his lacking strength#tl;dr Vivianite is horrifically weak and makes up for it with his heart and mind in order to feel less bad about not being able to do more#also (unrelated) he tends to be touchy and holds people's hands/faces/hair a lot. He does this knowing the risk and he couldn't care less#also also‚ he has weird inclusions. What makes them odd is the fact that he can move them around and concentrate them in different areas#he's stiff cause he keep most of his inclusions packed in his torso‚ not his limbs. This also ensures he doesn't lose anything#by touching something and having his fingers (inevitably) flake apart#There's more but I'll save that for later. Good day ^^
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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2010 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Robert Kubica & Felipe Massa)
#this was genuinely a race of attrition in the back. 10/24 cars dnfed and i think all but 2 were technical problems#this was a really exciting race tbh i really had no clue what the podium would be#its weird cause i knew seb mark and nando didnt win it but i was so confused how they were gonna lose it? and then it was like OH JENSE OFC#jense was incredible in this race ah what a comeback#everyone thought he made a huge mistake switching to slicks so early on and then it turned out he was the strat goat#and it makes it better cause it wasnt even a call from the team! it was literally his call!!#as we all know hes a god in the wet and it was so admirable and brave of him to make such a bold call for himself and have it work out#the way he has such dominance and performance in wet races(ex canada 2011) is forever so impressive and cool to me#also!!! this race really proves to me why rly i like 2010. really close racing BUT ALSO:#its so sick that both nando and jense won their first/second race with their new team against their teammates who have been there longer#like to have both of them win with the same prestige is so satisying and emotional for me#and god i got flashbacks to aus 2009 seeing him standing on the car. its cool he won melbourne back to back#but also. this post race honestly sucked. bad tv direction bad lighting(not in their control tbf) i felt like they showed nothing well ah :#tho my fav gif is where felipe is standing on his tippy toes and jense bends down sjakjf#jenson button#robert kubica#felipe massa#f1#formula 1#2010 australian gp#we do a little bit of f1
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my timephoon hot take is that the episode was literally fine, it's the episodes that came AFTER it that fucked things up
#the final confrontation where louie and della say that shit to eachother? peak televesion#the next episodes shouldve. yk. resolved that#but by having the premise be “the entire family is goign to disneyland and leaving louie behind” uh...?#i get what they were going for but they fumbled so hard#timephoon introduces a lot of conflicts that the next episodes SHOULD have resolved#but they didn't. at least not well#like della and louie should've had a proper conversation#and also i dont think della was wrong for steppin in at the end of timephoon like that was warranted#her wording and execution? far from perfect#but she's trying#also. timphoon was fine yes but it could have been way better still#i would have preffered it if they went more in depth about the struggles of motherhood and how beakley and della both felt about it#give me beakley being vulnerable and opening up about how hard its been raising webby alone and how she GETS it#she gets not knowing what to do#she was a spy#she has no idea how to be soft and motherly but she's learned and she's trying and she did it alone#and she doesn't want della to be as alone as she was so she tries to help#but she's a certified grizzled ex spy so fuck if she knows how to be gentle about it#so it just makes della MORE insecur because beakley seems to have it all together#and i wish there was a scene where they could talk to eachother and beakley could admit that she doesn't#she's made mistakes she's fucked up but she's trying and aren't they all?#but yeah. for what timephoon was#it wasn't bad#but the following episodes fumbled#i forget if it was in timephoon or next erpisode were we got della telling louie to shape up or he couldn't be part of the family#like again that was BAD! BUT#it wuld have worked if the show adressed and had her learn from it#and showed that it wasnt out of malice its because she was doing her best!#but they didn't#they were...weird with it
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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did you guys know that, well, the cruelty is the point
#i love this entire scene sooooo bad it's so delicious#flaunting the tadpole abilities and what he's capable of -- he's broken free of cazador somehow AND he can withstand the sun#and THEN once they leave. he attempts to manipulate tav in suuuuch a genuinely horrible way like#oh well of course i feel bad for them. i mean they're FORCED to do cazador's bidding. but no matter!#i'm fine sacrificing them for my own gain :) or rather... for OUR gain :)#this will keep both of us safe :) and... well... you want me to be safe right? :) you want me to be happy right? :)#this isnt him at his worst by any means but god it's soooo so good after how his act 2 arc is if youre romancing him#he's open and vulnerable and tells tav all about his plans and how he's been manipulating them this whole time#only to do it in a fun and new and interesting way all over again. but this time youre already 100% on his team#ANYWAY. i like when he's a bit fucking terrible#bg3#playing bg3#astarion#act 3 is really just a whole new beast to me at this point. how fun. i only got here once before and it was buggy and barely worked#sorry. i will be soooo deeply annoying as i rotate everyone in my head like little rotisserie chickens for the next few days#really thinking about how elluin is dealing with seeing this - she understands feeling like power will fix everything and keep her safe#but unlike astarion is capable of thinking long-term and about consequences#so this has her shaking in her fucking boots. and really has her grappling with the reality of their relationship#so until they actually get to the szarr palace and deal with the ritual... she's super withdrawn with astarion and even with the others#she wants him to be safe bc it means that she can realistically be safe since they're weird little mirrors for each other#but also. does safety exist without it becoming warped and horrifying#sorry. i will be normal again eventually
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i fear that the undercover top secret government assassins are growing on me (cp9)
#I HAD ZERO THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM AT FIRST#IN FACT I WAS DEVASTATED THAT THE WATER 7 QUARTET WERE ACTUALLY CP9#BUT THEN??????? I READ CP9'S INDEPENDENT REPORT AND. I!?!??!?@?!?#the thoughts are endless ive been having one piece dreams every night for the past few days and they have all been cp9 related the brainrot#is so bad. i am sodgjkadhg#i love one piece there are so many characters with each new arc i get to i get some new characters to obsess over i love it i feel so alive#ive been fighting tooth and nail avoiding spoilers for the latest episode BUT GOD IM SO SO TEMPTED TO. TAKE A PEEK#anyways last night i was once again doing a wiki deep dive and i found some silly things on cp9's pages#JABRA AND LUCCI ARE THE SAME HEIGHT!!!!! THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY#CAN YOU IMAGINE?!?!?! the kid you've had beef with since he was 13 (maybe even earlier since lucci alreayd knew him when he was 6) who you#used to have a whole head over is now at eye level with you i would actually be so embarrased#KAKU IS FROM EAST BLUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS OS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY!! THE MOST IMPORATNT FACT EVER!!!!!!!!!!!#so he knows the strawhats are...also from the east blue right?!? right??????! and ik the wg steals these kids early on to train them so i#doubt he has lingering attachments to his home sea but i still think this so both so so sad and so important :'((#also not getting over how oda's depiction of tiny kaku has him holding a toy boat BC ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?! ARE YOU K IDDING ME#kalifa and jabra's favourite dishes are both lamb based!!!!!!!!! silly because her animal motif is a sheep haha#BUT ALSO considering how her father was also cp9 and she's probably been conditioned since birth to also follow his footsteps and how jabra#holds seniority in the current lineup id like to think that these two have known each other a very long time and there were influences#the most dysfunctional fcked up family ever. cp9#blueno and jabra are both from the north blue!!!!!!!!!!!!! and that one falshbakc we see that the two of them plus 6year old lucci trained#together but also it would be so fcked up if the two actually knew of each other before being roped into the governemnt#idk how the wg works do they just??? routinely scout around and pick up a bunch of kids ata time???? were jabra and blueno taken together??#also wondering if ... kalifa jabra and kumadori knew each other the longest as fellow agents or soemthing#i feel like im entertaining a gazillion thoughts all at once its so hard ot balance but we know both kalifa nad kumadori have#parents in the governemnt/assassin profession that also influenced them right#idk maybe one thing they can bond over#cp9 to me is just a fucked up family of some sort. they are not found family they are like some weird forged family where they were all#forced together and somehow made it work and they all love lucci and care for his wellbeing enough to raise all that money to get him to a#doctor and they cared about each other enough to get off enies lobby together without leaving anyone behind and they went cafe hopping and#shopping and bowling together and they all care for each other in their own way
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I was talking about Hiram and the Deviless and soullessness today, and the thing that makes it all so compelling to me is:
There is a void inside you that can never be filled. A part of you will always be missing no matter how much you don't care about it. But what if one day you actively chose to care about someone and that's what ultimately saves you.
What if the person you chose to care about the most was the one who took away your ability to care in the first place? What if you were already caring about them, and you had to choose to care again, knowing that you could never do it in the same manner as before? Would you even care this much if that old part of you was still in place? Was that feeling so different from the active choice you make day after day after day?
Much to think about.
#something something feelings vs actions#something something choosing to actively care every single day forever#the first part is very self indulgent bc I had to deal with anhedonia for years and the descriptions of soullessness in fl are just. yeah.#the second part is just my love for narrative themes and I love how both hiram and the deviless caused all their problems#but they also kinda paved the way for improvement in the processes#a weird convoluted way but they work so well together#anyway I am very normal about my characters 👍#(also I'm trying to get over the npc syndrome too and I like to talk about my blorbos)#hiram hargrave#hiram x deviless
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both ad lib lovers and the summer hikaru died to something really interesting wherein they take typical genre conventions and set-ups of BL and place them into a genre other than romance, while still portraying the romantic undertones. where the summer hikaru died does this with horror, ad lib lovers does this with comedy.
as opposed to hikaru's focus on horror, in ad lib lovers, jealousy, desire, and a fear of inadequacy and loving someone more than they love you is portrayed through the lens of improv. this accurately depicts that having a crush on someone as an adult is humiliating.
#not fandom#the summer hikaru died#sokuseki ad lib lovers#is it weird i could talk a lot about how well executed ad lib lovers is#like OF COURSE i can talk about the summer hikaru died and horror as an allegory for queer coming of age#but ad lib lovers seems significantly less narratively dense on the surface but is (in my opinion) so perfectly executed#the mix of diagetic and non-diagetic comedy is so fantastic and both are executed really well#it's also INCREDIBLY grounded in a way a lot of manga focused on comedy really aren't#oh my god stop talking this was supposed to be a joke post oH MY GOD#it truly feels like two guys trying to be funny. i believe that their act is funny in-universe#as well as finding the non-diagetic jokes that are for you the viewer really funny.#reframing common BL tropes for couples getting together as them getting their COMEDY DUO together#while also doing a really good job of developing a very sincere (if goofy) romance just outside the boundaries of the cliche works so well#i think there is a tendency to undervalue the effort that goes into making comedy work#comedy is seen as the lowest common denominator#but this is a manga that is just mechanically incredibly well executed on top of being really enjoyable#in my opinion idk#AND ANOTHER THING another thing these works share is societal.#horror and comedy are two places that queerness was historically allowed to exist in media mostly unquestioned#you are allowed to be queer if you're the butt of the joke#you're allowed to be queer if you're the monster.#in this way that makes them such a poetic canvas to explore a genuine and sincere love story between same-sex characters
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Ichigo being a stay at home dad who works online is so in character for him actually…… he’s the type of dad to enforce 1 hour of no screen time outside playing in the yard and/or playground. He texts Orihime goofy pictures of Kazui jumping around in some water fixture in the local park and carries him home soaked to the bone and shivering with the biggest smile on his face and then they eat ice cream and wait for Orihime to get home so they can have family game night.
#I cannot see how someone can dislike ichihime and their beloved baby boy#they’re so silly!!#honestly I think a lot of it comes from forgetting Ichigo isn’t Just his badassery and trauma and stubbornness#Ichigo is goofy and funny and likes playing games and has shown how genuinely warm and welcomed/welcoming he is around Hime#and a lot of the times when I see posts referencing how Orihime is bad for him or is like… a creep or whatever#I can’t help but notice that it just. doesn’t sound like Ichigo at all#Ichigo Kurosaki is full of love and compassion and he adores everything around him#he loves and honors even the most evil of people and recognizes others struggles even if he can’t relate#there isn’t a single thing about him that conveys this supposed dislike for Orihime or this discontent with his life#Ichigo is like. a happy person#he suffers and he endures so much and he keeps finding new ways to love and understand others#he fights so hard to be happy… so why can’t people except that maybe he is?#at some point you just have to accept that a character can be content#Ichigo is married to Orihime. he works from home. he adores his son and his wife and his family#and like. that’s okay? there doesn’t need to be some deep reason. you don’t need to try and drag even more character out of him#he has enough!!!!!! he has more than enough character to go around!!#please let Ichigo Kurosaki love his wife and his son… and also let Rukia do the same#I know I just now mention her but this tangent is directed towards the Weird ichirukis I see poking around on twt and tumblr#Rukia is happy with her husband!!! she likes Renji!!!! she likes him so much in fact that she married him and had a kid with him#Rukia and Ichigo both are very hardheaded characters and if they’re unhappy with their circumstances THEYLL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#they’re not scared to be honest with themselves and others anymore!! they’re very vocal about their opinions if you haven’t noticed yet#some of the first things we learn about both of them is that they aren’t scared to speak their mind#I am fucking certain that if they happened to Not Want to end up with their respective spouses they would’ve just. not married them#idk what copium ichirukis that don’t like Renji and/or Orihime are smoking I really don’t#you love these characters so much and yet you discredit one of their most recognizable traits!!! their readiness to DO WHAT THEY WANT!!!!!!#they’ve proven time and time again thag they do whatever they want within reason#there is not a possible universe where either of these characters would sit quietly and let themselves be unhappy for the sake of the others#because they’ve learned. and they’ve grown. and they trust Renji/Orihime enough to understand their decisions becuase it’s in the fucking—#—text how much they respect and trust them to understand their feelings#this ramble is too long I’ve reached 30 tags URASHIN CANON GOODNIHHT AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAA
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2024 reads / storygraph
Master of Poisons
high fantasy set in an African-inspired world with floating cities and a poison desert slowly taking over the land
follows a man trying to convince the indifferent empire to save the world from impending climate disaster, who is exiled and goes to try and find a cure himself
and a young girl who traverses the smokelands (a spirit/dreamworld) who is sold by her family and eventually becomes a powerful griot (storyteller/bard/historian)
interesting world, animal POVs, magic, queer characters
#master of poisons#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#This has super interesting worldbuilding!! the writing didn’t quite work for me though#The arrangement of sentences made it quite hard for me to follow a lot of the time. I think it worked for Awa’s POV being quite dreamlike#and wandering; but for the other being more complex and political and more dialogue it just didn’t work for me.#I did actually notice later on when they’re both talking - there was a mention of them switching languages#and I noticed the sentence structure was way easier to follow? So I can see this being an intentional choice mirroring how diff languages#work. But unfortunately doesn’t change the fact that it sounded weird in my head#I definitely enjoyed Awa more as a character; watching her grow and learn; her bee friends; and the sweet sapphic romance she had#And I liked the animal POVs (if brief) and musical magic kind of thing#the whole smokelands thing….there’s definitely lots of good stuff in here also!#sapphic books
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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before#is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things#the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the#weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad#not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a#prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country#my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for#treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad#as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain#shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing#to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird#when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk#i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach#out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home#somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long#term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting#whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot#i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors#i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival#unrelated
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Dorm-inspired Outfits (from my Closet)
A few months ago, I put together a few things from my closet based on the different twst dorms. I posted them to Reddit, but now, they shall also have a home here on Tumblr :) But I'll also add a bit more info on the inspirations behind my use of the various pieces here, just for fun. Also, pardon the socks; I didn't bother picking shoes to go with the outfits. I'll describe what shoes I would wear with each look, though!
Also, uhh... body reveal? Before showing my cosplay (whenever it is that I finish it lol)
Heartslabyul
For this outfit, I wanted to feature the clashing patterns and fabrics of the dorm uniforms, while also incorporating an Alice in Wonderland-esque aesthetic. I used a yellow fabric belt, similar to the yellow sash of the dorm uniform, and added a scarf with a rose pattern and the same colour scheme as the rest of the outfit. I also retained my watch (which I really should have switched out for one of my analogue watches, but... oh well) and my "Save The Bees" bracelet, since it seemed to fit with the theme and I wear it on basically a daily basis, so...
I would pair this look with these white socks and my saddle oxfords.
Savanaclaw
With the Savanaclaw outfit, I wanted an active and somewhat more masc look. I tried to stay true to the warm colour scheme, and reference the leather vest of the dorm uniform using the sleeveless flannel I had. I also kept my watch and bracelet for this outfit, but I added two necklaces - one with a celtic knot pendant, and one with a piece of quartz, though if I had a tooth or bone necklace, I would have used that instead.
I would wear my brown leather boots with this outfit.
Octavinelle
This outfit is one of the closest to how I normally dress. The dress is black with lavender flowers, with a gather in the skirt on the left side, giving the heavy material more movement - it just feels "Octavinelle". I added a braided belt with a silvery buckle to give a little more definition, and a pearlescent pink and purple necklace, along with white gloves. I also wore my cream coat over my shoulders as a coat-cape, à la Azul Ashengrotto.
I would not wear socks with this, but instead stockings and my black and white pumps.
Scarabia
I wanted to follow the colour scheme and ~vibe~ of the dorm and its uniform for this Scarabia-inspired outfit. The floral skirt may seem to be an odd choice, but the deep orange of the flowers and the satin material seemed to fit with Scarabia. I also added more jewellery - multiple rings, and two necklaces, all golden in colour - to complete the look.
I would probably wear either my tan scandals, or white ankle socks and my heeled leather oxfords with this outfit.
Pomefiore
I felt like Pomefiore needed a classic, powerful look - what better way to do that than with a black pencil skirt? That, I paired with a sheer blouse with satin cuffs, and a (mostly) purple, high-necked, sleeveless knit. The orange, cream, and golden stripes in the knit also reflect the gold detailing of the Pomefiore dorm uniform.
I definitely wouldn't wear socks with this - it's another job for the black and white pumps, or maybe even my black heeled boots, depending on the vibe.
Ignihyde
Ignihyde just SCREAMED for the use of my CrankGameplays "Soft Boi" shirt. It's light blue, plus it's gamer merch - the perfect combo. Add in some black jeans, headphones, and a blue and white scarf in the pocket, and Ignihyde is complete!
I'd wear either my pink skate shoes, or maybe my brown leather boots with this one, I think.
Diasomnia
Finally, Diasomnia. I simply needed to use my green turtleneck with this one, but I knew I had to use black for the rest of the outfit. So, black trousers and a black cardigan (again, over the shoulders) were the other components I used, as well as a black braided belt - both to add a little texture, as well as a hint of silver, as is featured in the Diasomnia dorm uniform as well.
I'd wear black socks and my black heeled boots with this outfit.
And with that, we're complete! Let me know your thoughts - did I capture the spirits of the dorms in these outfits? :)
(I didn't include Ramshackle, but I could also make an outfit for that at some point, which I may do later)
#krenenbaker's :)#twisted wonderland#twst#krenenbaker's creations#I'm very happy with how some of these turned out - mainly the ones similar to my normal style#I also was wearing my binder for half of these (if you were wondering why my body shape was a bit different in some images from others).#also the Save The Bees bracelet is one of my favourite accessories#I got it at a show I went to so it has both a sentiment I agree with and fond memories attached to it too :)#I also could wear my brown leather boots with Pomefiore I guess since Rook wears freaking TIMBERLANDS (not with his dorm uniform but STILL)#(but I wouldn't. it would look weird... sorry Rook)#I also wish I would've done a different pose for Scarabia but I wanted to show off the jewellery and that was the best I could come up with#I need Vil to give me some of his modelling talent#or a lesson on how to do it maybe#I dunno#either would work#just teach me how to pose in a way that is a. somewhat comfortable and b. maybe won't make me feel so... weird looking back at the pictures#I really do relate to Azul.#anyways... thanks for looking at my outfits! and reading my tags if you got this far too ♡
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