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cookinguptales · 10 months

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So… I’ve been turning all this over in my head since last night, and I wanted to make a post about vampiric transformation as sex, and how it’s being used in wwdits as a metaphor for sexual repression, sexual freedom, virginity, and cuckolding.

Before I even get into the obvious metaphors about virginity and cuckolding, I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Guillermo’s sexual repression and how that’s come to find an outlet in his vampiric longing.

Guillermo is highly repressed, sexually speaking, but I don’t think he’s asexual. He’s shown interest in sex several times, but in an uncomfortable “this can’t be for me yet” kind of way. He was clearly raised Catholic and has internalized a lot of that shame re: sex, especially gay sex. He wants intimacy, but he’s also internalized the idea that wanting these things is dangerous and shameful.

But… the vampiric world seems to symbolize all the things that Guillermo wants but cannot have. He wants to be strong, powerful, attractive, and sexually liberated. As much as their openness about sex embarrasses him, there’s a certain longing there, too. He didn’t just want to be handsome as a vampire — he explicitly used the word “sexy.”

A vampiric Guillermo is a version of Guillermo that gets to have sex. Loudly, proudly, and without shame. It’s a version of him that is wanted, that wants, and who gets to have the precise kind of intimacy he's always craved.

Now, how much Guillermo has actually done sexually is still up for a lot of debate in fandom, but I think that’s kind of immaterial. For most of the show, Guillermo clearly wasn’t having the kind of intimacy that he wanted to be having, and he only started to even begin to allow himself to seriously consider all that in s4, when he got a boyfriend and came out to his family.

As being gay and wanting to be a vampire.

Guillermo is finally starting to own both his homosexuality and his vampiric life, and that means he’s finally starting to explore sex.

Now… At the end of s4, I talked about how Guillermo going to Derek in the finale had the air of a person who’d been fantasizing about losing their virginity in a certain way all their life — but then they finally give up on those dreams and hire a sex worker instead. There’s a resignation there in Guillermo that he couldn’t get it “the old-fashioned way,” he’s disappointed and jaded when it comes to intimate relationships, and now he’s tired of waiting for love and just wants a business transaction.

I wasn’t quite expecting for them to push that metaphor even more in s5! The money aspect was almost forgotten (Did… Derek even take the money? Why is he still cleaning toilets?) but the scene with Derek biting Guillermo was clearly a metaphorical virginity scene.

Guillermo’s nervous eagerness, his growing realization that this wasn’t actually the way he wanted it to happen. Asking Derek if he’d ever done this before and figuring out if he was “ready.” Taking off his clothes (that his grandmother got for him, even, that’s a whole meta post right THERE) and trying to make the vibe “right.” His insistence that though Nandor had never done this for him, they still had a caring and intimate relationship.

But… it was also a metaphor for bad sex. Many people lose their virginity in a way they don’t find satisfying, and Guillermo definitely seems to fall in this category. It was awkward, it was bloody, it hurt, his partner didn’t listen to him, they weren’t on the same wavelength, they didn’t connect, there was no emotional bond, and most importantly, he didn’t feel changed.

Like a lot of people do, Guillermo thought losing his virginity would change him. He’d be cooler, sexier, more powerful. His station in life would change. He’d become an adult his ideal form. But he’s still just Guillermo.

As he told Laszlo, as soon as he did it, he regretted it. He immediately knew that he’d been right, that this wasn’t the way he wanted to do it. He wanted to do it with someone experienced who loved and cared about him, who listened to him, and he wanted that person to be Nandor. But he wasn’t patient, he paid an inexperienced acquaintance for a one-night-stand instead, and he was left feeling deeply unfulfilled.

Most upsettingly, he immediately discovered that, like virginity, you can’t lose it twice. He can’t just have a do-over with Nandor now. He’s given something up that he can’t give to anyone else, and he’s going to have to live with the consequences.

Because like sex for humans, transformation has social implications in the vampire world. It can only be done in very specific situations. Guillermo seems to have grown up in a human world where sex should only be happening within a heterosexual marriage, and now he’s finding that in the vampire world, transformation is only supposed to happen between a master and familiar currently in a contractual bond.

So… him going to Derek and finding “outlet” in another relationship, so to speak, is effectively vampirically cuckolding Nandor. He’s given that honor to another vampire, which Nandor seems to find both vampirically humiliating and personally hurtful. It would in fact hurt him so badly that he would probably not survive it, in Laszlo’s words.

(There’s also definitely an element of an abusive “if I can’t have you, no one can” vibe in Nandor’s threat to kill Guillermo and then himself if Guillermo got what he needed from another vampire, but since when have we ever liked them well-adjusted?)

Guillermo is realizing that, as much as he’s been thinking of this in sexual terms, so have the vampires. He thought he was the only one who thought it was a big deal. He thought he was the only one placing intimacy and partnership and loyalty into this event. But now he’s realizing that as much as it meant to him, it might have even been a bigger thing for Nandor.

For Guillermo, vampirism-as-sex represents the idealized transformational aspects of losing your virginity. He’d built up this big event in his mind that represented his intimate bond with Nandor, he’d built up this idea that the event would change him, would make him better, would make him free. But he’s finding, like many first-timers do, that sometimes it’s not transformational. It’s just awkward and disappointing and the only thing that’s changed is that you ache in the morning.

He still doesn’t have the intimacy he wanted. He still doesn’t have the ability to be loudly himself. He still hasn’t been able to fully own his sexuality and ask for what he wants. He wasn’t ready. He didn’t enjoy it. He regrets it.

He also regrets it because now he knows it will hurt Nandor and the relationship they’ve built. Because for Nandor, vampirism-as-sex represents the societal aspects of sex. The rules people follow. The societal humiliation you feel if you’re cuckolded. The personal agony you feel when you’re cheated on. The sense that your home is broken if your partner goes to find satisfaction with someone else.

Guillermo, who has had to deal with societal disapproval of his desired type of sex in the human world his whole life, was viewing vampiric transformation as a way to be free of all that. The shame and the repression and the societal penalties for being himself.

But he’s just found himself in a mess of new rules, hasn’t he? Different culture, same struggle. And while the vampiric world has always symbolized a sexual liberation that both repulses and attracts Guillermo, he clearly doesn’t have as much freedom here as he thought.

So… to sum up, Guillermo always kind of thought of transformation as losing his virginity. He associated vampirism with sex, and he thought this would be his entrance into the sexual world. He wanted to have an intimate experience with Nandor, but eventually gave up on that and decided to pay for it — and then immediately regretted it, both because he found it personally dissatisfying and because it came as a betrayal to the man he loves.

The problem is that he thought he was the only person thinking of it as sex — he didn’t realize that Nandor does, too, just in a very different way.

Nandor was also thinking of vampiric transformation as this special act, and one that belongs only to him as Guillermo’s master/partner. He was thinking of it in intimate terms, but also in societal partnership terms. He’s thinking of his household, while Guillermo was thinking of things on more individualistic terms.

If only they’d both talked about all this shit even once. :’)

But that’s not how we do things here in Staten Island!!! We just long for things ineffectively, keep secrets, and fuck everything up!

(There’s also a whole thing here about how Nandor wasn’t keeping his side of the relationship bargain and that’s why Guillermo looked elsewhere in a moment of weakness, but I guess that’s probably a separate post. This is long enough already.)

#I could talk about this so much more but this post is so long lmao #well guillermo you can never give nandor your first time but that doesn't mean you can't still build a relationship with him #more important for a guy to have your future than your past right?#lmao we'll see #nandermo #wwdits #wwdits meta #long post #wwdits spoilers

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jbaileyfansite · 4 months

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Jonathan Bailey and Matt Bomer's Interview with The Hollywood Reporter (2023)

“Johnny B! Johnny B!” Matt Bomer exclaims as he logs in to Zoom to join his Fellow Travelers co-star, Jonathan Bailey, to do press for their critically acclaimed Showtime limited series.

“Hey, Matty Mo,” Bailey replies.

The actors spent about six months filming the eight-episode series — so, of course, they’ve established a playful bond. On this particular day, they’ve even given each other nicknames.

“I don’t think I’ve ever called Matt ‘Matty Mo’ in my life,” a smiling Bailey says.

“I love Matty Mo,” Bomer replies. “Listen, I love Matty Mo. I appreciate it.”

Bomer and Bailey built a brotherhood and onscreen chemistry for the historical romantic drama about two male political staffers who fall in love at the height of the Lavender Scare, a time when homosexuals were banned from holding positions in the federal government. The series — based on Thomas Mallon’s 2007 novel of the same name — follows their intense affair into the ’80s, also visiting Vietnam War protests and the AIDS crisis.

Zoom, it turns out, is where the actors first met, reading lines together to see if there was magic. And there was.

Since debuting in late October, Fellow Travelers has had an overwhelming response from viewers — some connecting directly with Bomer’s Hawkins Fuller, a veteran and State Department official who carefully hides his homosexuality, or with Bailey’s Tim Laughlin, an eager and naive congressional staffer who falls hard for Hawk. Others have identified with some of the supporting cast, including Allison Williams in the role of Hawk’s wife, Lucy Smith, and breakout stars Jelani Alladin as reporter Marcus Hooks and Noah J. Ricketts as drag performer Frankie Hines, whose gay Black love story is one of the show’s many highlights.

“It’s so nice to be able to have discourse with people who are responding to the show. That’s been really refreshing and enlightening,” says Bomer, who is also an executive producer on the series.

Bailey, best known for Bridgerton and his theater work, says he was drawn to the show because “it felt new and it hadn’t been done in this way — in an elevated, eight-hour, rich aesthetic with gay actors.

“The queer experience is so different for so many people,” he adds, “but the one thing that unites the queer experience is these moments in history.”

In an interview with THR, Bomer and Bailey talk about prepping for their roles and being gay while playing gay, while also breaking down those milk and toe-sucking scenes.

What has it been like to have people connect emotionally to the series?

MATT BOMER: I won’t name names or anything, but I’ve known people over the years who’ve made similar choices that Hawk made in order to survive. Not governmentally — I mean in a society that certainly didn’t want to see them succeed. But for me, the most refreshing thing has been the young people who are really engaged in the show and knew nothing about the Lavender Scare, and are speaking to the show and the characters, but also, aspects of our history that they were unaware of that the show has — I don’t want to say taught them about, because it’s not a teaching tool — but they’ve learned about through the show.

JONATHAN BAILEY: When people respond in that way and you hear their personal stories, it’s amazing that people feel that they want to share that. It’s the most grounding thing to tell a story and investigate a time or a period or a movement, that hopefully leaves an imprint on people, and/or catalyzes them to tell people and talk about their own stuff. That’s the dream, really.

Jonathan, it’s so heartbreaking to watch Tim hurting in various scenes. What were you pulling from to give such a strong emotional performance?

BAILEY: Thirty-five years on this earth. (Laughs.) Drawing it from the ground. Naturally, it’s totally parts of me and parts of people that I know, experiences that you think of. Tim’s character arc is so huge, and [I wanted] to capture his youth in those early moments and then expand into what breaks such a pure, optimistic, passionate soul and all the different ways in which that could show itself. There were moments on set that you couldn’t help but be incredibly moved by.

We found ourselves filming by coincidence on World Aids Day. It is really not hard to feel the importance, but also just the grief is palpable in the stories. And there is a lineage — you inherit this in your community. It just felt like an opportunity to learn as much as I possibly could, generally, about the queer experience. We are surrounded by amazing gay men, as well. And then, of course, I’ve lived my life trying to understand the gay experience, so it wasn’t a shallow pool to [pull from].There’s a well there.

Matt, your character is so cutthroat, but obviously there’s sympathy for him, as well. What was it like playing Hawk?

BOMER: Hawk does what he has to do to survive. He has his empathy and his allegiances, but anything that calls his survival into question, there are immediate and severe boundaries. But then enters Tim, who is so guileless and so full of love and all the things that Hawk wishes he could be at his core, or maybe once was before certain aspects of his life changed that or his point of view about that. You’re always looking for a shadow in your character, and it was so refreshing — he obviously has a public persona, a veneer that he presents to the world in order to maneuver in it, but he really leads with a lot of the more shadowy aspects of a typical character. It’s the love and the more open and vulnerable aspects that are his shadow in many ways. That was an interesting flip for me to get to sink my teeth into.

It’s profound to have two gay actors playing two gay characters on a TV show. Did you ever think something like this could exist?

BOMER: Honestly, no. My mind has been blown so many times over the past 20 years. I’m just so grateful that the gatekeepers gave us this opportunity. I was doubtful, almost up to the 25th hour on this, that they were really going to put the money and the opportunity into this series that they did. And I’m just so grateful that people who are in the position of calling the shots gave us the chance to tell the story — and the way we needed to.

BAILEY: It’s the Tims of the industry, who are searching for more, who are deconstructing, who are questioning. Because they’re all a similar peer group — [series creator] Ron [Nyswaner] knows Dante [Di Loreto, executive producer of Glee and P-Valley], who’s at Fremantle [which produced the show], and they’ve worked together for years. This isn’t something that just got commissioned overnight, because there’s a wave of progress. The people who are really doing it, as well as the actors, are the people in positions of power who have worked their way up with these questions.

And it’s funny, the one thing I have thought over the years is — I’ve just looked at gay characters, they’re such rich, brilliant, oppressed, complicated, joyous characters to play, so of course people want to play them. And this is a brilliant example of: What better way to do a character study of two polar-opposite gay characters than have gay people play them? But that’s what I felt growing up. I just thought, “Of course people want to play those parts,” which is great. It’s just, what happens if, just for a moment, gay people play them?

And I do think that everyone can play everything, and that’s what we should be headed toward. But I do think there’s a balance that needs, and needed, addressing. And there are a lot of people whose questioning and hard work have created a world in which this can fly.

BOMER: I agree with you wholeheartedly. And it is the Tims of the industry or maybe some Hawks, too, hoping for retribution.

BAILEY: That’s true. We stand on the shoulders of all the Hawks, as well.

BOMER: (Laughs.)

BAILEY: [The Hawks] did all the work at MGM, yes. (Laughs.)

Jonathan, your character drinking milk in the series got a lot of attention.

BAILEY: It was a brilliant way of showing such naiveté, and immediately you know that this is a character who’s completely outside the world Hawk inhabits, and he sees the world completely differently. He’s so open. It’s so interesting, isn’t it? Because, it’s funny that Tim leads with his heart and his openness and his childlike wonder, and his shadows are his compulsive nature of constantly needing something that he can’t fill. There’s a moment in episode six — they’re in Frankie’s flat, and I was like, “He’s got to be drinking milk.”

BOMER: There was a power shift in episode eight, too.

BAILEY: Exactly. The milk was on the call sheet. It’s a character in its own right. And also the milk’s character arc is more dramatic than everyone else. Give it a spinoff, I say. (Laughs.)

There was also that toe-sucking scene. Jonathan, did you get the script and it said “suck toe”?

BOMER: Just “suck toe.” (Laughs.)

BAILEY: It was very, very precisely written down — it was as precise as it needed to be. I saw that as an incredible way to dissect power. I got it when I read it, and I wasn’t intimidated by it. I was just like, “If in the first episode that’s what we are doing, it’s going to be worth five months moving to Toronto, and it’s going to be a series that I would want to watch.” Because not only is it incredibly complicated, not only is it really hot, it’s also something that masks as being provocative, but actually it’s really psychologically impactful and the people who get it get it.

BOMER: I think all those scenes were a really external representation of what was going on with these characters internally, emotionally. And for me, it was really refreshing to see the gay love scenes brought to light in a really unflinching way.

BAILEY: The shock and overwhelm and the tantalizing chemical combustion that happens seeing it — it’s a greater sensory experience because that’s exactly what it meant for Tim in that moment. It captures exactly what’s going on for Hawk and Tim, hopefully, allowing the viewer to experience a bodily reaction to it in the same way, whatever that may be.

Source

#fellow travelers #jonathan bailey #matt bomer #interviews #interviews:2023 #the hollywood reporter interview #NEW!

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jolenes-doppelganger · 9 months

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Reflected Through the Looking Glass (Part One)

Lucifer Morningstar (The Sandman) x fem! Reader

Summary: Lucifer lost few things in the fall. Most notably the loss of connection with the Father, but not the Mother. Following Dream's defeat, Lucifer returns to Gaia, the abode of Mother for answers. Slumbering peacefully as the world around her moves forward, Y's (Y/N's) days are spent listening to the subtle changes of the world above. Upon Lucifer's return, Y's life changes drastically as Mother holds the secret of Y's existence close to her heart, a secret Lucifer is keen to unravel. Lucifer uses they/them pronouns bc all angels are canonically genderless in The Sandman. The reader is an angel. This is a soulmate thingie (idk how to describe it without giving away the whole fic). Heart-wrenchingly soft fluff.

Warnings (don't take these seriously, they exist for funny ha-ha's): Mentions of womb-like conditions, Lucifer and the reader share clothes (SCANDALOUS), reader and Lucifer BATHE together (OH NO), homosexual activities (somebody get a hotline to Jesus)

ACTUAL warnings: Consent in terms of touching non-sexual areas is dubious, (small of the back, head, thighs, etc)

Word Count: 4.1k

Mother's mantle is warm, inviting. Soft gelatinous liquid envelops you, soft glow stones giving the slightest color to the room, seen through your hooded eyes. Pulsing and changing luster with Mother's drumming heartbeat, the soft illumination gave color to your eyes, pinks, reds and oranges filling in the gaps of your retina. You've been in Mother's mantle for eons, growing and learning as the seasons changed for the last few millennia. The softening of the earth above you marked rain, and continued softening indicates the turn of spring, roots growing and expanding as fresh growth dots the landscape above you. When the ground dries and fragrance fills the air, you know Summer is upon you. Mother is most active during these seasons.

As the season changes once more, cooler air fills the mantle, and the ground above you begins to rustle with activity, small creatures preparing for the changes above. Finally, once the ground above you grows cold and damp, and all life seems to rest, you know winter has come. Mother's heartbeat grows slow, and it is in this season that she returns to her mantle. Contrary to popular belief, Mother does not sleep through winter. She rests, yes, but she does not lie dormant. Planning and preparing for the next season, Mother comes into view, and the constant heart beat that drones from above, below and beside you grows steady and sure, a pair of hands submerging into your cradle, tweaking, measuring and perfecting you.

"Hello little one, it's time for me to rest for a little while," she says, voice muffled and whimsical, a product of the goo that you grow in.

Mother slowly eases into the cradle, long leathery limbs soaking in the substance. Sighing, she holds you and you smile as you're softly rocked and cooed at, utterly dwarfed by the giant dryad-like woman. Here you grow, and slowly dream as she rests with you, coming and going as she sees fit, waiting for the earth to thaw.

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

Mother's heart races, she's busy, very busy. It's spring and the earth has much growing to do. She's planned a fire this year, a big one in the northern forest of Gaia. This is what is above, the subject of most of her brief musings with you. The brush has grown thick, choking out new growth. These forest are made up of towering redwood and giant sequoia trees, big hulking entities that will survive the fire. You listen intently as the first strikes of lightning hit the ground, toes flexing and limbs twitching as you feel the earth above you begin to char and burn. It's invigorating, the death and rebirth cycle of earth, and you softly smile. There is no reason to fret, not until mother's heartbeat suddenly slows.

Then, as you hear the nymphs and dryads chattering fade, a voice alien and musical echoes through her mantle.

"Mother, I've come to stay with you," it muses.

Heavy hooves clatter through the mantle, and for the first time in a great many years, the dryads grow the moss around your cradle in a webbed pattern, blending it in to the stone and dirt walls, hiding you from sight. The comforting light fades, and soon you find yourself completely submerged in darkness, and for the first time in the eons long slumber, you're afraid.

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

Mother is unnaturally quiet. The guest is slow, measured even, pacing the room variably. In your catatonic state, all activity around you is pronounced, most notably the rustling of the dryads that have made a bed for themselves directly on top of the moss over your head. An unnatural warmth comes from there bodies, heating the cradle to that of winter, when Mother's body heat keeps the cradle from freezing. They twitter above you, and every once in a while, a hand cuts through the moss to give a reassuring pet to whatever expanse of flesh it lands on. You're not reassured, silently begging for Mother's individual attention.

All grows still, and that foreign voice begins to drone.

"Mother, I've come to you in dire need,"

Mother hums in response, giant form creaking as she adjusts her position.

"I find myself the most powerless I've ever been since the fall. It seems Dream has found his way out of the sorcerers grasp,"

"I'm well aware of Dream's escape. It is as it should be. The world was out of balance for too long without him," Mother croaks.

The voice laughs, a musical, bell toned laugh that causes the dryads to chirp amongst themselves.

"Please, how could the lack of Dreams throw Earth out of balance?"

"Well that's simple isn't it? Things that should lie dormant and preoccupied by dreams lay restless and aware,"

The voice hums again, and footsteps turn and pace towards the cradle. Above you, the dryads clutch at the edges of the stone cradle, making a barrier between the top of the cradle and the strange visitor.

"Defensive, aren't we?" it chuckles. "I've never seen your dryads behave this way before, some new creation they're protecting, is it?"

"Their behavior is warranted. There are certain places even the closest of my children do not have the right to explore," Mother demands, voice growing dangerous as the guest refuses to leave the perimeter of the cradle.

"Mother, I am surprised by you! After all I've done for you, you'd dare-"

"Don't chastise me, child! I created you, and I've continued to look after you, regardless of the rift that it causes between the Father and I," Mother snarls, "You of all my children know how I hate your quarrels, and yet you continue to bother me and upset my peace with your petty squabbles,"

The guest grows silent, and the dryads begin to softly twitter amongst themselves. A few hands stroke you, and you feel a sense of safety return.

"I'm sorry Mother. I've offended you," it softly concedes. "I've come to beg your hospitality, and I've seem to have lost your favor,"

"Child of mine, you know I am not malevolent, come, sit next to me so that I may soothe your worries,"

Their voices fade away, and for the first time in almost two centuries, you begin to dream.

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

A soft silence fills the room, and a form gently leans over the moss covered cradle. Mother's heartbeat is slow, winter is upon the world. The guest has resided with Mother for almost six moon cycles. The fire is over, all life has blossomed and died. The last of the leaves lay scattered and frost-bitten on the ground. Leathery hands cut through the moss, and Mother's hulking mass slowly slides into the cradle. The nameless guest, frequently referred to as 'Child' by mother, lays a few paces away, deep in slumber. Their heartbeat is one you've begun to sense, slow, measured and occasionally erratic. In the mantle all life is emphasized, and as the dryads lie dormant in the roots of a great tree, loneliness threatens to seep into your soul.

This sense of abandonment is what has drawn Mother to risk your discovery. Cradling you, she softly whispers about her future spring plans to you, a spring that you'll never get to see. Your existence is made bearable only by the slumbers that render most of your days timeless. Slowly, she pulls you out of the cradle completely, bringing you to her chest, taking care not to sever the umbilical cord that brings life to you from the center of the mantle. Your wings lie limp and motionless, and you feel their weight. The soreness is uncomfortable, and you wriggle, trying to find purchase in Mother's arms.

"Shh little one, you'll wake Lucifer," Mother chides.

Lucifer. The voice that calls to Mother, heartbeat slow and resonant. Fingers scrabbling for purchase, you coat Mother's arms in the goo, sliding from her arms, dangerously close to falling.

"Ai! You stop that before I leave," Mother hisses.

You slow, gently relaxing into her arms. She hums in approval, rising up to her full height, bringing you close to the dirt that encases the mantle.

"Feel," she directs, taking one of your hands and placing it against the earth.

It's cold, but wet. And as the goo slides off of your body, you smell it for the first time. It's must is strange, earthy, and just like Mother. You decide you like the smell of earth. Roots tug at your hand, and you whimper at the itchy sensation. Mother chuckles, slowly wiping away the dirt on your palm.

"So needy," she sighs. "Don't worry little one, soon you will awake,"

You are placed back into the cradle, falling into a dreamless sleep.

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

Two hands pull you from your sleep. Cries of anguish and pain fill your ears. The wails of the nymphs alert you to danger, and the chittering of the dryad that holds you is urgent. Another pair of hands pulls at the cord that ties you to the earth, and pain fills you as it is severed. Panic fills you as oxygen depletion renders your brain cloudy. A bark-covered hand encircles one of your ankles, another hand coming down on the flat of your foot. Hot-white pain fills you and you cry out, gasping your first breath. Twittering in approval, the dryad breaks into a run as you begin to cry. Jostling you to and fro, the bark of the dryad pinches at your skin, and noticing your discomfort, moss fills in and replaces the forearms of your rescuer.

Moonlight filters in through your eyelids, and you feel the sting of wind as the dryads run for cover. Opening your eyes for the first time, the world flutters as the dryad's paces become more urgent. A strange shape circles above you. You think it's a bat, but it's limbs are too elongated. Mother loved bats, maybe she sent this one to you? The thing begins to dive, coming closer and closer. It must be a very strange creature, maybe one of Father's creations? The dryad notices and begins to chatter shrilly, and only then are you afraid. Arms extend from above, encasing your nude form. The eyes that bore down from above are serene, a shade of blue you've never seen before.

The world moves slowly as wind hisses past your ears. You grasp onto this strange creature's form, encircling their neck. Their hands move, encircling your waist, grasping at your bottom. The contact makes you blush, and you wiggle away. You're so bare, so naked, unlike them. Your cheeks grow hot as you realize that they've covered their skin. Being naked is wrong somehow, and you desperately wish to be back in your cradle, softly cared for by Mother, where these terrible feelings didn't exist, where safety and warmth were a given. Loneliness hits you like pummel to the chest, and you start to sniffle. You don't like this situation, and all of the wisdom passed down to you by Mother while you slept does little to calm you.

"Don't cry," the thing softly whispers in your ear, "You're safe with me, little one,"

The voice is very familiar, but unnerving. It's like those recurring dreams you have, where a person chases you through various locations. The face is never the same, the feelings associated with the game of cat and mouse variable, but yet the person that runs after you is the same somehow. Young and vulnerable, clinging onto anything would be natural, but as the wind whistles strange things into your ear while the ground slowly fades from view, it becomes apparent that you have no choice. Grasping on tighter to your captor, you bury your face into their neck, clinging onto the hope that this is all a terribly vivid dream.

"There, that's better, good girl," they whisper, placing a gentle kiss on the shell of your ear. "You have nothing to fear, after all, you were made for me. No one can take care of you like I can,"

Made for me? You were made for Mother. A nagging thought probes at the back of your head, from millennia ago, a distant memory, no, a phrase. It had been whispered, gently coursing it's way through reeds. She's Morningstar's..... Made for..... Like a reflection in a looking glass. Mother would find you. Mother would make this right. As the harsh winter winds whip at your body, you could only pray that this is true. Bit by bit, the cold bites at you until you start to violently shiver.

"Cold," you whisper.

Your limbs have begun to grow numb from the cold, it hurts to move them, the even bend your fingers.

"I know little one, can you wait?" the nickname both calming and revolting you. It's Mother's nickname for you. They have no right to use it with you. But it comforts you nonetheless.

"Mother," You whimper.

The thing sighs, and you slowly begin to dive. Trees fill your vision, and you hold them as tight as you can. If they let go, you'd surely fall to your death. A jolt goes through you as they land on a platform. You look like you're still in the trees. Gently lowering your feet on the ground, you test the firmness of the platform. Upon finding it sufficient, you relax. Looking up at the thing, you notice the stark contrast in height. Most things in Mother's mantle are larger than you, but somehow it seems more applicable with them. White-gold hair curls perfectly around their face. Arguably beautiful, pleasing to the eye. Wings dark and glossy flicker in amusement as you watch them, taking note of your features. Without explanation, they begin to tug at the strange material they clothe themselves with, slowly revealing milky-white skin that seems to glow in the moonlight.

They look a lot like you, at least the top half. It's mostly uncovered, a band of soft fabric running along the upper part of their chest. It looks like bandage material, something wrapped on rather than sewn to fit. Looking down at your own chest you wonder if you should have one too. The place between their legs is also covered. Coverings under coverings seems silly to you. None of the dryads or nymphs used coverings, and Mother certainly never did. In fact Mother abhorred coverings. Creations made by human beings to protect themselves from her other creations, she'd snarl. Maybe this thing was human?

"Come here," they beckon, voice low.

You still cling onto them for support, your legs shaky and tired as you adjust to your weight. The chill makes you weak, and their gaze makes you feel uncomfortably vulnerable.

"Where?" you frown.

"Closer," they whisper, smirking. You take a small step forward, still leaving a modest distance between the two of you. "Even closer," they say, pushing the small of your back forward. Your breasts press against their ribs, and you turn your head, attempting to hide your shame.

Their hands glide under your thighs, gently lift you upward until your shoulders are level. With a flick of their wrist, the coverings begin to move through the air, as if of their own volition. Cloth twists around your forms, causing you squeak as it binds your legs to their thighs, leaving room for them to bend their knees. Encasing you even further, you notice as your torsos are bound together, breaking away to individually cover your arms. It's strange, to be so bound to them, and you feel an odd pressure on your breasts, the soft material of their under cloth creating a barrier between you. Maybe this is the purpose of underclothes?

They take off once again, and this time the added security of the makeshift harness gives you the chance to enjoy flying. It feels right. This time you don't hesitate to wrap your arms around them once again, resting your head on their shoulder, gazing out at the stars. Wrapping their arms around you, they hum in approval.

"You're perfect," they sigh. "Just like I knew you'd be,"

Gloved hands caress your back. The sensation is still alien, but it feels okay. The added warmth from your joined torsos is nice, but as Lucifer labors, you notice a slight build up of moisture between your bodies, adding to the stickiness of the goo from the cradle. Contrarily, the feeling of wind whistling through your ivory wings is both pleasurable and exhilarating. Stretching them out, you move to mimic the thing's wings. Gently touching the ends of their wings with yours, smiling softly at the sensation.

"Don't do that, you'll mess with my flying," they chastise.

You fold your wings up again, blushing in shame, turning away from them as best as you can. You begin to pout, desperate to separate yourself from this thing and their odd criticisms. They laugh, a hand reaching up to turn your face so they can whisper in your ear once more.

"Sweet one, I did not mean to be harsh, you're wings are very beautiful," they say, soothing voice killing your childish anger, "I'll teach you how to fly another time," they promise, peppering kisses on your forehead and ear.

The kisses are nice, but the anonymity of the stranger makes causes you to resent them.

"Who are you anyway?" you ask, craning your head to look at them.

"I'm Lucifer Morningstar, ruler of Hell,"

Of course! Your eyes widen in recognition. This is the guest of Mother's! You are surely safe in their care, after all, Mother loves them so. Mulling over the last title, you wonder aloud.

"You're a star?"

They begin to laugh, a full, boisterous laugh that fills you with glee. Yes. You are safe. No one this pretty or this nice would ever take you from Mother.

"No, not like that. I'm a fallen angel," Lucifer explains

"Like me?" You ask.

"Sort of. Only you're not fallen,"

"Is that bad?" you whisper.

"It's neither good nor bad. It just is," they shrug, accidentally clipping your chin on their shoulder, causing you to bite your lip.

You cry out in pain, and Lucifer tenses up. Their grip on you is tender, protective.

"What happened little one?"

"I bit my lip,"

Lucifer hums, choosing to caress your back as comfort. Your blood tastes strange, metallic. It tastes how Lucifer smells; sweet and a bit spicy.

"I'll have a look when we reach hell,"

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

Hell is cold. Above pits of fire that boil and foam it is still cold. A river of ice runs through most of hell, and you're once again grateful for the coverings provided. You soar through the rocky caverns until you're met with the sight of a glorious space, enclosed and sheltered from the strange cries of agony that bounce off the canyon-like walls. Once again waving their hand, Lucifer commands the coverings to unravel, and you watch as the fabric returns to it's original form, leaving you nude once more. It's uncomfortable to be this naked, and you grasp at Lucifer, attempting to cover yourself again. In this strange, cold and dark place, the cloth acted as a safety net, now you have nothing but the hulking frame of your wings that hide very little.

"Now, you'd better stop that," they warn. "You can't rely on me for protection all the time,"

This revelation scares you, and you once again think of Mother, a pit of fear carving it's way into your stomach. Lucifer doesn't speak, slowly untangling you from them before roughly dragging you toward an opening in the wall. It's disconcerting how gruff they are with you, the environment around them seemingly changing their personality. Your footwork is clumsy, and you trip, falling forward. Lucifer manages to catch you, and you feel ashamed of your lack of coordination. But instead of a cold glare, regretful care fills their eyes as they help you up.

"I'm sorry little one, I forget that you're still as clumsy as a newborn lamb," Lucifer apologizes, gently guiding you toward the vat of steaming water with tender dedication.

They softly lower you into the water, hands guiding your shaky limbs up the stairs and downward once more. You sigh and slide into the steaming water until your head barely sits above the surface. The sensations in your toes and fingers feel odd, almost like you're being poked repeatedly. Turning to look at them, you verify that this is not the case. You giggle at the oddness of your body, the variable sensations that it can produce, completely oblivious to Lucifer's presence. The water ripples as they lower themselves into the water, and for the first time you see their torso completely uncovered. It looks different than yours, but you don't think too much about it.

Your wandering gaze doesn't seem to bother them, hands gently coming to cup your face, eyes full of adoration. The bath begins to cloud with the dissolved substance of the cradle, and this change causes Lucifer to hum in disapproval.

"Oh my, you really are coated in that fluid," Lucifer grimaces.

Taking a glob of something from a bottle, Lucifer brings their hands to your scalp, running their fingers through your hair, desperately trying to rid you of every inch of dried goo. It feels good, like every sensation Lucifer brings to your body. Their focus on your scalp gives you the opportunity to regard them without the piercing intensity of their gaze. Their lips are pursed in concentration, the divot between their browbones emphasized. Limbs long and slender move and churn, collarbones flexing and fading from scrutiny. The moment ends, hands returning to your back. Dipping your head backward, Lucifer rinses your scalp. Leaning over you, Lucifer looks beautiful. As the substance slowly rinses away in the water, you dare to look deep into those discerning eyes, and find them to be serene. Reaching upward, you return to that embrace you know so well, much to Lucifer's approval. The embrace feels especially vulnerable, no shroud covering you from feeling every inch of their skin.

They smell especially sweet, and you wonder if you smell pleasant to them. Their wings hang loose, relaxed. Their back muscles are especially pronounced, enlarged from the flight. Ripples in the water alert you to movement, a piece of cloth slowly massaging every inch of your backside. It feels good, and you lose yourself in the feeling. Turning to look at them, they lean forward, planting a sickeningly sweet kiss to your cheek.

"Sorry," they chuckle as your face burns red, "I couldn't help myself,"

Their soft smile morphs into a frown as they notice the dried blood on your lip.

"You did bust your lip,"

Taking the utmost care, they clean the blood away from your lips, grimacing as a fresh bleed leaks from your lips. Their thumb takes a final swipe at your lip, blood dotting the pad. Blue eyes bore into yours as they angle it toward their lip, gently sucking away the remnants. Your cheeks burn, intently watching their every move.

"Your iron levels are low," they muse. "We'll fix that,"

Cupping your face once again, you shyly drop your gaze, much to Lucifer's amusement. Hands pull you upward, helping you out of the tub. You make a conscious effort to avoid looking at their form. It feels improper, and a bit risque. All life is built in with some sense of sexuality, as was Mother's way, but without Mother's guidance it was unclear whether or not yours was warranted. Softness encased you, fabric running up and down your arms, down your legs, drying your hair. You realized this was Lucifer's doing, yet their hands remained delicately planted on your hips. Your sexuality must be unwarranted after all.

Robes were produced and both you and Lucifer were clothed. A strange looking creature brought a tray of food into the room, and to your delight it was fruit. Fruit trees brought the most fragrance to the Earth, and therefore must taste the best. Indeed it did, and you hummed, completely oblivious to the juice that slid down your chin. You ate until your stomach hurt a little bit, the tray disappearing as swiftly as it was sent for. Sleepiness tugged at your eyelids, noting only the slightest of changes around you. Lucifer cleaned your face and your hands with utmost care, gently cradling you as you were moved once again.

Softness caressed every corner of your body. Sleep overcame you slowly, and you drifted off to the familiar sound of Lucifer's heartbeat, growing slow and confident as they too fell asleep.

<-*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*->

A/N: My obsession with winged reader inserts becomes apparent. This is completely self-indulgent. Yes, I wanted to be an angel as a child. Yes, I was absolutely crushed when I found out I couldn't be one when I died and went to heaven. If the catholic church was smart, they'd tell all the little children that if they were extra good they'd become angels. I digress. Spicy stuff in the next part!

Tags: @hecatescrystaldagger @the-fuck-do-i-know

#lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar sandman x reader #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #fluff #lucifer morningstar fluff

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findafight · 1 year

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Nebs' Stranger Things Fic Masterlist

I'm finally making a masterlist for my fics/headcanons! hazzah! with brief descriptions) Compiling this I have realized I have written a LOT of stuff?? holy doodles. tumblr fics under the readmore (eventually I'll put them on ao3)

My Writing tag: Finda writes stuff

Ao3 Fics

Robin and Steve's Epic Platonic Soulmate Mixtape WIP. Robin and Steve become friends just after s1, friendship shenanigans as wells as Upside Down s2 (so far) ensues. RaSEPSM tag

Tennessee Ham and Strawberry Jam Complete. Sue Sinclair and Claudia Henderson childhood best friends + Goodbye Earl fic. Standalone but in same series/universe as RaSEPSM

You Don't Fool Me Complete. Steddie, Steve thinks they're dating, Eddie is a bit confused.

Visions of the Things to Be Complete Steddie. Eddie loves M*A*S*H. turns out, Steve also loves it. Eddie's a bit pissed about that.

Starfish on the Beach WIP platonic stobin, steddie. Steve dies instead of Eddie s5 fic, based on my own post

Tumblr Fics

Steddie Focused fics

Stobjargyle and Corroded Coffin au (tag)

Steve's mixtape of government banned songs

Demiro Steve

Addams!Steve (I will def continue this one of these days)

Rockstar Eddie and ~homosexual~ rumours

Human Steve and Spn Human Steve (tags)

Miraculous Au (tag)

Eddie Tweets AU (tag, only one post but will have more)

Baby Eddies checklist to get steve to fall in love with him

BNF Steve ramble

Stobin Focused Fics

Studio Era stobin lavender marraige au (lavender's blue au tag )

Upsidedown death Timetravel au (eventually will continue)

demiromantic steve

QPR stobin in their 40's

Best Hugs

Swimmer Steve au (tag) (possibly stonathan? idk yet tho)

Pjo au (tag)

Post Starcourt haha

Venom!Stobin (tag)

Steve is Seven au

Stobin post order66 au original post (that I'll eventually expand) Dustin realizes Robin and Steve are jedi. Stobin help train Dustin and Eddie is here now

Telepathic Stobin concept

Soulmate Words au snippet

Dream team Steve au prologue p1 (Steve is drafted to the NBA fic with qpr lavender marriage stobin

Misc posts

Steve dragging everyone's taste

Gay Jonathan Byers

Big Brother Steve (tag) original post

He picked up the bat

unrequited Byler p1 (part 2 eventually)

Erica Sinclair post StarCourt

Afterschool care steve

One sided ronance (for Nancy)

Steve doesn't want to be his mum

Bad timeline no Upside Down stancy

#stranger things #steddie #stobin #finda writes stuff #I'll try to keep this update oof

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welcometothejianghu · 2 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 心宅猎人/Psych-Hunter.

Psych-Hunter is a 2020 drama about a hot young amnesiac who, accompanied by a rich psychiatrist with major daddy issues and a rich girl who cosplays as a cop, uses his Inception-style psychic powers to solve crimes that are part of a shadowy conspiracy orchestrated by a mysterious figure.

True story: Once I couldn't remember the English name of the drama, so I called it "House Haunters," and now my brain insists that's the real English title. If only!

Do not, under any circumstances, labor under the impression that this show is good. It's not. It's incoherent. The writing is bad. The villain is absurd. The vibe is comically melodramatic. People make inexplicable and out-of-character decisions all the time. Countless complex mysteries get set up with no way to resolve them. There's a thin lampshade hanging over it that blurs the line between bad decisions made on accident and bad decisions made on purpose, but the net result is largely the same. This is the show that first inspired my wife to declare something dumb as a guinea pig in a roller skate.

But it's fun. It's a sea of colorful chaos with brilliant pieces that shine through like strange gems. It knows how to work an atmosphere and does so to create some legitimately creepy moments. It spins a wild yarn filled with bizarre and loveable characters. And it has some twists that truly have to be seen to be believed. In the mood for some beautiful nonsense? Here's five reasons that despite everything I warned you about in the previous paragraph, I think this one's worth watching.

1. Psychonauts for Jazz Age homosexuals

Honestly, that phrase alone should let you know if this is the thing for you. But just in case, let me explain the basic premise of the show:

Jiang Shuo, a man who has lost his memory and been adopted by circus folk, is capable of jingling his keys and diving full-body into someone else's subconscious, represented by lovely and thematic dreamscapes. He does this to solve crimes. Sometimes he takes along a handsome doctor who seems like he might know more than he's letting on, by literally tying their hands together with a red string.

Also, when they do this, they get gorgeous steampunk magical girl costume changes, complete with the cutest little pony nub you've ever seen.

This show can be stunningly beautiful. It knows how to manifest dream logic eerily well. Most of these cognitions are gorgeous, and many are done with primarily practical effects, like it's a stage play. ...And it's good it relies on that so much, because the CG it has is kinda cheap and terrible! So, yeah.

(Side note for the DMBJ fans: This is directed by the same guy who directed Sand Sea, which I assume is related to how this both is a visual treat and completely falls apart on the back end.)

The reason I'm a bit surprised that this hasn't taken off more among the creative set is what a great piece of worldbuilding this Psych-diving is. These boys (and, once, the girl) get to short-term manifest bodily in someone else's materialized mental state, where the person whose brain they’re in neither controls the experience nor remembers what happened after it’s done. Were you writing weird Arthur/Eames fic a decade ago? I got a new best thing for you. Can you say freaky dream sex? Because I can.

The base premise should be more than enough to get your gears going. Come ready to get weird with it. There's so much potential here, and so much of that potential is incredibly gay and wearing impeccably tailored suits.

2. Your friendly neighborhood circus family

As I mentioned before, Jiang Shuo lucks into the best possible fate that can befall an amnesiac: being picked up by carnies.

The troupe includes Ventriloquist Man, Really Big Dude, One-Eyed Acrobat, Other Acrobat, Cheerful Fat Girl, Boy Who Looks Like A Kid But Is Actually Played By An Adult So I'm Not Exactly Sure How Old The Character Himself Is Supposed To Be, and Silver Fox Circus Dad, who manages the whole crew. They're a ragtag bunch of performers who all live together in this cute little compound in some very nice slums, and sometimes they open the gates to their lavish compound and put on a circus show for all the common people!

Now: You know this is not going to be the wokest, most sensitive portrayal of body differences, because of course it isn't. But damn, it's pretty not-bad. The show treats all the circus members as valuable people worthy of affection, whose (occasionally exasperating) quirks are no more or less exhausting than those of the non-circus weirdos in the rest of the supporting cast.

I was half-expecting them to disappear after the first arc, but no! They’re a constant fixture through the show! They’re mostly there to support the show’s more comedic moments, but some of them get wrapped up in more emotional plotlines as well. And every now and then you get to see them actually do their circus shit, which is great.

I will admit that my fondness for them is related to how much I generally love fictional Freaks — you know, misfits who have banded together because society considers them unacceptably weird, but together their weirdnesses make them strong. When you find them, they’re usually the bad guys (e.g., the Gung-Ho Guns from Trigun, the Scorpion crew from Word of Honor) whose freak statuses make them formidable and occasionally sympathetic antagonists. But not so here! The Psych-Hunter Family Circus is good guy support all the way through to the final episode.

I know "found family" is a term that suffers from overuse, but that's the best way to describe what's happening here -- really, it's a family that's already found itself even before the show starts, and now they all live together as an unconventional collective of astonishingly flexible people. How did they find one another? Doesn't matter! What matters is that they all love and would do anything for their newest member, and they think it's great when he comes home with his attractive rich friends, who often arrive bringing snacks, which is really the best use for rich people, if you think about it.

3. Two hands, one ring

Now, if you've seen the series already, you know the moment I'm talking about. But if you haven't (and, statistically, you haven't), know that what I mean is the relationship between these two losers.

Together, Qin Yiheng and Jiang Shuo form the emotional core of the series. They're both drawn to one another because of mysterious circumstances that have started to align. Jiang Shuo's memory is missing, Qin Yiheng's dad has vanished, and all signs point to those absences as having something to do with one another.

Very early in the show, we see Qin Yiheng pull a "come with me if you want to live" on Jiang Shuo, giving the impression that he knows just what's going on in this crazy city. Except, no, he doesn't. Or does he? No, we're pretty sure he doesn't. Or he does, but he's forgotten what he knows, if he ever even knew it in the first place. Anyway, time to tie their hands together and jump into someone else's brain!

I'd say they're in love, but that's not quite it. Dr. Qin Yiheng, high-class homosexual, is in love with Jiang Shuo to the point where he's about to murder someone (possibly Jiang Shuo himself) out of frustration about it. Jiang Shuo, on the other hand, is much more sticking his fingers in his ears and going LA LA LA YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS while trying get a girlfriend in an effort to pretend that all the shit they get up to together isn't tremendously romantic.

That is, until the scene that leads to the which-hand ring guessing game, at which point the burden of their relationship falls on Jiang Shuo (and the Inception parallels get unignorable) for exactly as long as the show will allow it to, before it freaks out and has to add another girl love interest just to make sure all the homos got no'd.

It's not textually gay, because seriously, have you met Chinese television? But it's pretty gay. Or, rather, I think Liu Dongqin (Qin Yiheng) is playing his character as a dedicated homosexual on purpose, and Hou Minghao (Jiang Shuo) is just ... kinda like that? I mean, everything I’ve seen him in, he gets real dreamy-eyed around strong men who pay close attention to him. Maybe it's just his thing as an actor. I'm not judging.

However, the main cast isn't just the two of them. One of the things that led me to this show was the promise of an OT3. And does it deliver on that promise?

Well ... sorta.

Qin Yiheng, Jiang Shuo, and Yuan Muqing are a pretty standard MFM not-love-triangle trio of Male Bestie, Main Guy, and Girlfriend (respectively). There's about five seconds at the beginning of the series where it looks like Yuan Muqing might be into Qin Yiheng, but no, that evaporates almost instantly and is never spoken of again -- and with it disappears most of their interactions with one another, period. So it's less an OT3, and more a case of bisexual cutiepie Jiang Shuo getting both a boyfriend and a girlfriend in a world where censorship will only let the latter relationship exist textually.

But damn if these boys aren't made for one another. Sure, there's a level of conscious comical queerbaiting to it -- I mean, there's straight-up an "only one bed" moment, so you know the show isn't stumbling into rainbow territory on accident. No matter how sexual or nonsexual or whatever you read it as, though, their dynamic is the spine that holds the story together. Really, it's almost sad how often the relationships are set parallel to one another, because when you do that, it becomes obvious how intense Jiang Shuo's bond with Qin Yiheng is, and how largely lackluster and comphet most of his canon romance with Yuan Muqing is by comparison.

Like so.

sidebar: The Girl

I am not going to go into a full-throated defense of The Girl this time, as I am wont to do, mostly because I think Yuan Muqing is full of potential in concept but so badly executed that there's really no hope for her. Her entire personality is whatever they need her to be in any particular scene. It's just that once in a while, what they need her to be is completely insane -- like, seeing-things-that-aren't-there insane -- and it's so great that it makes me mad! She could have been like this all the time! But noooooo

As it is, she has a perfunctory canonical romance with Jiang Shuo that's about as endgame as anything is capable of being (see point 5), and it actually gets pretty cute when it finally gets to the point where it's not just awkward obligation! But alas, it only does that so late in the series that it's not even worth it getting invested in it.

She is a creation of the show. She has no novel counterpart. Her entire function in the drama is to un-gay the dynamic between the boys. You can tell that she was initially supposed to have a different role -- to be the muscle of this trio -- but the narrative forgets pretty quickly that she's got that skill set, and she regresses to being The Girl. She makes dumb decisions that forward the plot. She gets put into danger whenever it's convenient. She demands Jiang Shuo do manly things for her because that’s what a girl is supposed to do, I guess? And then there are moments where she’s cool and crazy and it’s awesome! But they never last.

So if you are going to watch this, be prepared for the fact that the female lead is badly written to the point of frustration. I feel her actor is doing the absolutely best with what she's got; the problem is that what she's got is pretty crappy. Still, Muqing gets some pretty charming moments here and there, and I think it's worth hanging onto those and imagining the character she could have been, if the writers had cared just a little more, or even at all.

4. Powerfully surreal worldbuilding

I'm not even talking about the way people's psyches are structured according to dream logic -- the "normal" waking world is almost equally bizarre. The story takes place in sort of the real world c. 1930, except that a lot of things are off. For example, Japan and England are real locations, but China kinda isn't -- instead, the show takes place in a Shanghai-like city-state run by this moustachioed generalissimo with a faux Latin American dictator aesthetic. The place has its own flag and government and police force (where all the cops have coordinating surnames) and diplomatic relationships with other countries, so it’s clearly its own thing. But what that thing is? What it’s even called? Look, don’t worry about it. Nobody else is worried, so you shouldn’t be either.

You will, at every point in the series, be wondering if the show is trying to telegraph to you that Something's Not Quite Right Here, or if it's just making weird decisions for the sake of artsy weirdness. But don't worry -- there's absolutely no way to tell the difference between the two! Just roll with it.

There's a weird mix of universe rules happening throughout, where everything is mostly period-appropriate for a while, and then somebody builds a clock with levitating parts, or causes someone else to have very specific memory loss — or, again, swings some coins in front of a person’s face and gains the ability to treat their subconscious like a VR amusement park.

You can sort of reconstruct the evolution of this weirdness: The book has actual factual ghosts in it. Well, that’s fine for books, but TV isn’t allowed to have ghosts. But TV can have people who imagine ghosts, so long as it’s all in their heads. Okay, but you know jumping bodily into those imaginations isn’t actually a thing real people can do, right? Well, then let’s make it scientific. How can that be scientific? I don't know, it’s psychiatry. I don’t think that’s psychiatry. Look, it could be. Well, it’s definitely not psychiatry in 1930s Shanghai, and that’s the set we’re allowed to film on. Okay, what if it weren’t actually Shanghai? What if it weren’t actually 1930? What if all of this were at best a weird approximation of the period that adheres to no rules except the ones we want?

Once you’ve thought that, the sky’s the limit.

The show has a very inconsistent grasp on reality, and I am listing that as a pro instead of a con because I am choosing to embrace it as a deliberate choice rather than assume it’s the result of craven incompetence. There's something to be said, though, for how pervasively inconsistent it is. It'd be one thing if there were just a few plot holes here and there (and there are), but this is more along the lines of: We woke up in a mysterious boat and got taken to an island with a giant sea monster skeleton on the shore! What's that all about? Couldn't say! Was it real? Maybe! Moving on!

Let the number of "it's fine! who knows!" comments I've made throughout this rec indicate how much this is the kind of show you just have to roll with. If you are a nitpicker or someone who is troubled by unexplained nonsense, this is not the thing for you. If you love artistic magical realism and high strangeness, you will eat this up with a spoon.

And the lampshade that hangs over all of this worldbuilding is...

5. THE STUPIDEST POSSIBLE ENDING EVER

Okay, usually I am coy about when I think an ending has problems. I am going to drag this one out front and center: Psych-Hunter has an ending so jaw-droppingly, head-clutchingly stupid that I'm actually listing it as a selling point, because it has to be seen to be believed.

When I first watched it, I suspected the show ran out of time or money or something and just had to slap together the quickest possible ending ever. But no! This is the ending they meant! If you go back to the rest of the series, you can see that this is what they were (kinda) setting up the whole time! They just set it up so poorly and decided to make the twist hit at such a late point that not only is it complete nonsense, it actually renders moot the entire emotional stakes of the show! Absolutely incredible!

Now, as I've said before in other places, I don't begrudge the actual twist itself. I mean, it's stupid on its face, but I think they could have done something with it — if they'd had it happen halfway through the series, when the characters would have had time to adjust to the new knowledge. Instead, they slap it on at the last possible moment, when there's no time to have any reaction to it. It's just jarring and baffling, and then the whole thing's over.

I've seen lots of people say "season 2 when???" Season 2 never, friends. There was never going to be a season 2. The only reason you think this was an even remotely acceptable narrative move was that you were assuming that this would be the midpoint, not the end. You're having the same reaction I did, only I can tell this was always meant to be their spectacular dismount.

(To me, it's clear what happened: They J.J. Abramsed themselves into a cool premise for a mystery with no idea how to solve it, hoping they'd figure it out along the way. When they got to the end and still hadn't figured it out, they simply ... opted out of solving it.)

Now, if you want a normal viewing experience out of this show, watch to the end of the next-to-last episode, close your browser window, and have imagination adventures about how you think all the mysteries should resolve. But you're not going to. You are going to continue on to that last episode, and you are going to realize that nothing I could have said here could possibly have prepared you for this. And somewhere, I am going to feel the urge to cackle wickedly and not even know why. Except I'll know why. We'll both know why.

Want to watch this hot mess?

That baby's an iQiyi exclusive! But you can watch the first episode on YouTube, if you feel like getting a taste that way.

Look, I know I may have spoiled my pitch somewhat with that last selling point. After all, why would you bother watching a series if you know it has a shit ending?

I refute your objection thus: Knowing it has a shit ending changes the whole game, because it removes the feeling of betrayal that hits upon your discovering that the ending isn’t what you wanted. You know that already now, so there can be no betrayal. The ending goes from being an unpleasant surprise to being exactly the unexpected thing that you expected. With that in mind, you can dive right in (ha ha) knowing that you’ll never get the closure you crave, and therefore whatever you make up along the way is perfectly valid.

This is obviously a turnoff if you prefer shows that are like seeing someone start a magic trick, perform it without breaking a sweat, and walk off calmly, leaving you wondering how on earth they accomplished such an amazing thing. Think of this more as someone starting a magic trick, accidentally letting the rabbit fall out of their hat, saying “I meant to do that!” like thirty times, and suddenly vanishing through a trapdoor, leaving you wondering what the trick was even supposed to be in the first place — but they were really good-looking and well-dressed, so at least whatever they were doing was nice to look at while it was happening.

See? They're having fun.

#psych-hunter #心宅猎人 #house haunters #i made this #rec post #please watch this and then write more fic for it #I have a very selfish agenda here

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igotsnothing · 3 months

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OC QUESTIONNAIRE

Thanks for the tag, @stargazer-sims and @eljeebee! I really enjoyed reading your questionnaires! And since you both tagged me, I am going to do this for Sasha and Gideon because I'm obsessed with telling their story, and I need a little fluff for them; they've been going through a lot recently.

Gideon: Interesting! Ready?

Sasha: Nooooo.

Gideon: I'll go first.

NAME: Gideon Westergaard

NICKNAME: None (Sasha: Oh, I can think of a FEW, all of them unpublishable.)

GENDER: Cis man

STAR SIGN: I honestly don't know...and I don't really care. (Sasha: He's a virgo, obviously. Please.)

HEIGHT: 6'3 (1.90 cm)

ORIENTATION: Bi, like many vampires.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: Citizen of San Myshuno, member of the Forgotten Hollow Coven, originally from somewhere further north of Windenburg.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Sasha... (Sasha: SERIOUSLY? You think that's funny? F*ck you!)

FAVORITE SEASON: Fall.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Lily of the valley

FAVORITE SCENT: Cartier's Pasha.

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: (Gideon: *Looks at Sasha.* Sasha: DON'T YOU DARE. NO.) Scotch. If good quality, I prefer it neat. (*Sasha pretends to puke*)

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: I don't need much sleep; I usually get 4-5 hours.

DOGS or CATS: *Grins broadly* My kitten, of course. (*Sasha grumbles incoherently*)

DREAM TRIP: I actually love San Myshuno. I like going to the art galleries, theaters, concert halls- all the activities the city has to offer. But if I had to travel somewhere...I like skiing. Mt. Komorebi is quite the challenge.

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: I don't really get cold.

RANDOM FACT: Vampires are connected to their covens via specific bloodlines. Gideon has a coven sire, who turned him- but the one who claims him as her "child" is his coven's mistress (more to be revealed...can't wait to share.)

Gideon: Your turn!

Sasha: Hello, nosey people! Why don't you mind your own bu-

NAME: Sasha Velky

NICKNAME: Sash. Sassy, but don't call me that ever. Loco- but only Hector gets to call me that (Gideon visibly bristles at this). And...that's it. (Gideon mouths 'kitten' and winks. Sasha does not acknowledge this and maintains a steady glare.)

GENDER: Cis man

STAR SIGN: Okay, my sun sign is Taurus, moon sign is Leo, and Aquarius rising! (Gideon: What? Was that even Simlish? Sasha: That's such a virgo reaction.)

HEIGHT: 5'9 (1.75 cm)

ORIENTATION: Homosexy (Gideon: Did you mean homosexual- Sasha: NO! I know what I said! It's a JOKE! I didn't get mixed up this time! You are so pretendcious sometimes! *Gideon doesn’t dare correct him this time; Sasha’s irritated enough.*)

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: I'm from San Myshuno, born and raised, but my mom was from Simvlakia and I understand and speak Simvlakian a little bit. I can't write it for sh*t.

FAVORITE FRUIT: Twinkies. (*Gideon shakes his head*)

FAVORITE SEASON: Summer.

FAVORITE FLOWER: Sunflowers.

FAVORITE SCENT: (*Looks sheepishly at Gideon*) Cartier's Pasha. (*Gideon sits up, pleased*)

COFFEE, TEA, or HOT CHOCOLATE: Cigarettes. (Gideon: What happened to quitting? Sasha: I'm no quitter! Hey- don't look at me like that...I am trying. It's been three days, ok? Gideon: I'm so proud of you!)

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: I need 7-8. I'm a pretty deep sleeper.

DOGS or CATS: Yes.

DREAM TRIP: I don't know...I haven't really been out of San Myshuno. I always wanted to visit my mom's family in Simvlakia, but I wouldn't know where to begin. After she died, my father got rid of all her pictures, her papers, documents...I don't have anything from her, except for a stuffed animal from when I was really little. (*Gideon inhales sharply and his expression darkens- it begins to soften again when Sasha rests his head on his shoulder.*)

NUMBER OF BLANKETS: One? Two? I guess I get cold at night. (Gideon, knowingly: Hey- I can keep you warm at night. *Sasha, perking up*: You are a pervert! Is this a ploy to get me in your bed? Gideon: Always... Sasha: *Snickers*)

RANDOM FACT: Sasha has a green thumb. It's something he shares with his late mom. He's really good with plants.

I AM TAGGING: @agena87, @damseljamsel, @lynzishell, @alinelie (plz plz plz!), @simarcana (Alika or any of your fabulous OCs), @eslanes (love your stuff and saw you have more storytelling coming soon?), and even though @greighish is taking a hiatus, I AM NOT ! This is all optional, do it if you want to, ignore me at your own risk, up to you! ❤️😆

#tag games #the sims 4 #this was fun #DARKER #sasha #gideon #gideon is very protective #sasha is a feral kitten #i'm trying not to spoil the story #gideon finds sasha’s mixups beyond endearing #he wants to help sasha because he is very #self-conscious about his limited education #he corrects sasha because he knows he gets embarrassed #when he makes such mistakes with other people #but sasha gets so flustered #and cranky even if he secretly appreciates it #gideon finds him hopelessly adorable #and just wants to smother him with hugs and kisses

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holysaintscathedral · 1 year

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Books for the Hierophile #2

A continuation of the first list. Once again, all titles here are a variety of het, MLM, and WLW romance and erotica and may be purchased in most major in-person and online book sellers in either physical and/or digital form. Everything is listed in alphabetical order and a synopsis.

A Leap of Faith by Mel Gough - South Africa, 1953 – Father Daniel Blakemore is happy on his missionary secondment in a small, rural Providence Hospital on the Eastern Cape. Being away from England makes it easier for him to conceal his homosexuality – a secret that would destroy everything he’s ever worked for.But when Doctor Eddie Raleigh takes up his new position at Providence, the two men are instantly drawn to one another. Their liaison represents both Daniel’s deepest desire and his worst nightmare. If the archdeacon in London learns of his true nature, Daniel’s life in the church will be over.Broken-hearted, Daniel breaks things off with Eddie. And to get away from his sorrows, he leaves his beloved missionary work behind, and returns to Stepney, London.Will time and distance alleviate Daniel’s pain, or will happiness be forever elusive? Or will love, finally, find a way?An evocative tale of love, fear and duty, set against the backdrop of the nineteen fifties, with the emergence of apartheid in South Africa and the criminal nature of homosexuality in the UK.

Blow Me Father, For I Have Sinned (4 part series) by Dirty Mary - This collection of erotic shorts (1. Bad Habits, 2. The Good Wife, 3. Confession, and 4. The Bride) feature various women and their encounters with priests, nuns, and sin. Only available in eBook Format.

Broken Vows by MJ Williamz - Sister Mary Margaret has been a devout nun for twenty years and has never questioned her devotion to the calling. But when she develops a crush on one of her parishioners, Maryann Foster, the passion between them is irresistible and her vow of celibacy isn’t enough to keep them apart. But can she love both Maryann and the Church? She prays for an answer, only to question whether God has truly given her a sign or if she is just afraid to leave the only real home she has ever known. Mary Margaret must reconcile her divided heart or risk losing a love that just might be heaven sent.

Billionaire's Sins: A Forbidden Hot Priest Romance By L. Steele - Part of Big Bad Billionaires series. Father Edward Chase. Brooding. Growly. And... unavailable. He's the hot priest. I am a belly dancer. He's haunted by his past. I am trying to carve out a future for my studio. He’s at war with himself, and I am the casualty. There is nothing he will put before his calling. No stone he will leave unturned for his flock. He’ll never give in to the attraction between us, So what if he stars in all my dreams? He may be a man of God. But for me, he is temptation personified. Making him fall for me is all I ever wanted. Until he reveals his secret.

Cardinal Sins: Seducing the Priest by Liz Steel - “I was never the church going, confessing type—until the hottest priest in a ten state radius showed up. I have to have him. I just need to get him out of his priestly robe…and into his pants. I knew he isn't exactly a saint. But can I pull it off? Will he commit cardinal sins with me? I have to find out. And I'm going to.”

Confessions: Justin’s Penance, Lust and Ecstasy by Luke Jameson - "It can't be wrong if he's a priest." Now, in one complete volume, is the love story between a priest struggling with his beliefs, and his student who goes to great lengths to justify his growing attraction for another man. Justin's Penance tells the story of how Mateo and Justin first meet, and how their explosive attraction forces them apart. In Justin's Lust, our lovers reunite at a monastery in the mountains of Virginia. Both men have taken vows to the church, but as you'll discover, promises are often broken. After an illicit encounter, Justin flees the monastery, praying to a God who isn't listening. In Justin's Ecstasy, Mateo is devastated, and goes to a strange city in search of the man who claimed his heart. Will Justin return Mateo's feelings, or will his promises to the church keep true love apart? Two men are destined to be together, and the only things holding them apart are the vows they have made to the church. Will love win, or will their beliefs be their undoing?

Cardinal Sinner (Divine Domination Book 2) by Megan Michaels - Eliska Petrova grew up as a good Catholic girl in Prague, attending Catholic school, even obtaining a job in the Vatican City working for the Cardinals in the Apostolic Palace. She couldn’t imagine anything better than her job in Rome. That is, until she met the tall, dark, and handsome Cardinal Petr. The problem wasn’t that he was her boss and mentor. The problem was that she was helpless to resist her desire for him. Realizing her deep-seated, dark fantasies of pain and pleasure, power and submission/surrender with a prominent Cardinal seemed like a recipe for disaster. But that hadn’t stopped her from diving in anyway. Her temper got her into trouble with the Petr – often – and he had very creative ways of tamping down her fiery ways, the least of which was an old fashioned, bare bottom spanking. Petr Novak had studied underground in oppressive, Communist ruled Prague, even completing and receiving his doctorate in secret. The Pope ordained him as a Bishop in St. Vitus Cathedral once the Iron Curtain had crumbled, and he’d begun working his way up the ranks of the Roman Catholic Church, becoming a Cardinal in Rome. He’d never planned on falling in love with the young flaxen-haired Czech beauty. Her fire called to him though, and he couldn’t deny himself – even if that very fire threatened to consume them both. How could she commit to a man who had his eye on becoming Pope? Would she be enough – or too much? Could they find happiness with each other and the Church?

E Pluribus Unum Book 1 - Lesbian Lust By Rowan Buchanan-Brown - 1621....Sister Benedetta is very sick. She has become plagued with demonic hallucinations; all telling her she will rot in Hell. As ministers from the government arrive at her convent to investigate; they uncover a secret relationship she has been having with a fellow Sister....2006....Marcia and Naomi are two lovers who stumble upon a dark cult when on holiday in the Amazon Rainforest. Though they escape to civilisation again, they bring back an ancient evil with them, the same evil which plagued Sister Benedetta and which threatens to turn all the women on Earth to its own wicked ways....

Emily and the Priest by Selena Kit - Her first year away from home has been a disaster for shy, awkward Emily, falling in with the wrong crowd, just trying to fit in with the other girls. When Mark, the campus psychologist, takes her under his wing, she's more than grateful, and under his tutelage, Emily blossoms into ripe, luscious fruit, just ready to be plucked. By the time Mark realizes his mistake, it's too late--Emily has fallen for him, and he for her. God help them both. Available only in Kindle and eBook Editions. Part of the Power Play series.

For I Have Sinned: A James Bay Novel by Kathleen Irene Paterka - Cursed or Blessed? A Man of God Must Make a Choice...Father Greg, a Catholic priest and recovering alcoholic, took a vow of obedience at his ordination-but thirty years later, that Roman collar chafes his neck. His love for God is not in doubt, but the same can't be said for his faith in the church. After a young interracial couple joins his parish in the small exclusive resort community of James Bay, Michigan, Father Greg finds himself waging a fierce battle fighting parishioners' prejudices. When an attractive widow from the parish joins hands with him to befriend the young couple, the problems only escalate-and so do the rumors about a romance. Caught up in a war with church leaders and his own guilty conscience, Father Greg is trapped. He's good at standing up for others, but now he needs to learn how to stand up for himself. It's the only way he'll become the man he was always meant to be-with or without the Roman collar. Part of James Bay series but can be read independently.

For I Have Sinned by Alex Grayson - “Twelve years ago, I vowed to stay celibate when I gave my life to the church. For twelve years, I've kept that vow, and not once have I been tempted to veer away from it. Until she walked into my life. Jersey, the homeless girl who sneaks into my church to steal food. From the moment I first saw her, something about her called to me. She was sent to tempt me down a sinful path, and I have no hope of denying her. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” A Part of the Itty Bitty Delights series but can be read independently.

For I Have Sinned by Dakota Rebel - “I’ve never been much for church or religion or faith of any kind really. So I never expected to become friends with a priest. And I certainly didn’t expect to fall for one. I spent most of my life pretending that I was a good son, a good brother, a good man, in an attempt to earn my parents’ approval. And now I’m just tired of pretending. Because the closer Father Luke Stone and I get to one another, the harder it becomes to deny the attraction between us. I’m not sure if he’s fighting it, too, or if he honestly doesn’t feel it. He says he wants to save my soul. But I can’t help wondering. Am I even worth saving?” Available only in Kindle Edition.

Fuck Me Father, For I Have Sinned by Naomi Ace - Warning: This 3500 word shorty story is for adults only and features delicious and vivid interactions between three consenting priests. Available in only in eBook format.

Fall Into Temptation: A Forbidden Romance Between a Naive Catholic Girl and a Transitional Deacon by Katy Fox - She’s a naive catholic girl. He's a transitional deacon. Will they succumb to the wild flames of passion? Christie Hart is raised by strict catholic parents who never let her have her freedom. But when she finally goes to Britain to attend her aunt’s wedding, she falls hopelessly in love with Vincent Knight. Fantasizing over a hot downright sexy transitional deacon? Terrible idea. But Christie can't help it. There are many rules a transitional deacon can't break. A transitional deacon cannot marry. A transitional deacon cannot abandon his flock. Vincent has always been good at following rules until Christie shows up and turns his world upside down. Can they overcome the temptation or will they fall deep into it? Find out how this totally unputdownable forbidden steamy romance ends.

For Love of God by Robin Reardon - It’s Manhattan, 1983. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is going strong at the 8th Street Playhouse. HIV/AIDS is still called “the gay plague.” The Twin Towers still stand tall. And Spencer Hill is convinced God has called him to the Episcopal priesthood. There’s just one problem. He’s gay. Determined to stay the course, Spencer avoids Donald Rainey, a young actor he’s attracted to. Then he tries dating a woman, another candidate at General Theological Seminary. Then, as a last resort, he considers a life of chastity. His attempts to deny his orientation fail, and he has a crisis of faith that nearly sends him over the edge. He’s saved by an insightful therapist and by his relationship with Donald, which he can no longer avoid. Then his life is in disarray again when Donald’s life takes a religious turn Spencer cannot accept, and he must find a path where there is no conflict between God and gay.

Grace but No Mercy by Lynn Cooper - “My name is Father Troy Hampton. From the time I was old enough to talk, my words came out as prayers. My life belongs to the church. It’s true that I’m nothing more than a mortal man made up of all the same parts as other men. However, through my devotion and unwavering commitment to Christ, I have been able to resist that which is carnal. I never succumb to the natural, sometimes overpowering yearnings and desires that rampantly pulse through the veins of all mankind. Daily, I rebuke all that is unholy. I cling to my vestments, resisting all fleshly pleasures. Forsaking all others for Him. Until her.”

Heathens (Heathens Series Book 1) by Amanda Richardson - Lily Damewood is trying (and failing) to claw her way out of her dark memories. Her weekly visit to Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris is supposed to be a way to help her move forward, even though she’s far from the praying type. She catches the eye of Salem Tempest, a seminary student at Notre Dame. When an unlikely friendship forms between them—followed by a white hot attraction they desperately try to ignore—a revelation shakes them both to their core. Lily and Salem soon find themselves connected in powerful and unexpected ways. Turns out, Lily isn’t the only heathen, and Salem is just the right person to stoke the fire within her, despite his sacred vow of celibacy.

Her Priest (Divine Domination Book 1) by Megan Michaels - Divorced and working in Amsterdam as a reporter, Chelsea never dreamed that opening a simple social media account could bring the love of her life back to her. Especially when she still isn’t convinced she was his first love. Despite being his devoted submissive—in all things—she’d let him slip through her fingers—and paid the price of ten years of yearning for him. But could an independent, strong-minded woman be just as accepting of his dominance now? A dream one quiet night in college had shown Emerson his true calling. And that calling meant leaving his girlfriend, his lover. His soul mate. But now he’d found Chelsea again, that calling seemed a world away, his need and his lust for her as overpowering as the first day he’d laid eyes on her. He has to have her kneeling at his feet once more. Even if that means leaving the priesthood. His decade long sojourn has changed him in ways he’d never expected. And now he has his Chelsea under his dominion once more, she is going to find he is even more demanding than he was as a young man. Ten years in a position of power have left him with a taste for commanding obedience. And he intends to exercise that power on his yielding, submissive soul mate. She’s won him back, but is she ready for the new Emerson? Is she ready for his particular brand of religion-tinged, taboo kink?

Lead Me Not: A Gay Christian Romance by Ann Gallagher - Isaac Morris has devoted his life to preaching against the sin of homosexuality. But when his sister proposes a documentary to demonstrate once and for all that it’s a choice—with Isaac choosing to be gay as proof—he balks. Until he learns his nephew is headed down that perverted path. Isaac will do anything to convince the teenager he can choose to be straight…including his sister’s film. When Isaac’s first foray into the gay lifestyle ends with a homophobic beating, he’s saved and cared for by Colton Roberts, a gentle, compassionate bartender with a cross around his neck. Colton challenges every one of Isaac’s deeply held beliefs about gay men. He was kicked out by homophobic parents, saved from the streets by a kind pastor, and is now a devout Christian. Colton’s sexuality has cost him dearly, but it also brought him to God. As the two grow closer, everything Isaac knows about homosexuality, his faith, and himself is called into question. And if he’s been wrong all along, what does that mean for his ministry, his soul, his struggling nephew—and the man he never meant to love?

The Lake Michigan Affair by JacquelIine Thomas - Rosalie fell into her life, a life she didn’t want. She met Richard, her brilliant surgeon husband, and fellow Catholic as a teenager. One night in the back of Richard’s car, her fate was sealed, to be Mrs. Richard Russo. Her strong Catholic family, where faith dictates all actions, left Rosalie no other choice but to marry Richard, a man who she did not love. Rosalie’s life looked perfect from the outside, the brilliant surgeon husband, a tight-knit Catholic community in Chicago, and friends. One evening in the halls of the Field Museum, she meets the man who will change her life forever, Catholic Bishop Sebastian Cole. The Lake Michigan Affair is a story of a woman finding true love, learning who she is, attempting to flee an abusive marriage, and ultimately risking it all to be with the man she loves. Set in a tight-knit, Italian-American neighborhood on Chicago’s Northside, tradition, religion, and culture collide. The Lake Michigan Affair looks at love, not what it is supposed to be, but how raw and powerful it can be and the force it has on the lives of Rosalie’s community.

My Priest, My Husband by Deede Kress- Last night Alaina agreed when Fr. Ryan said they were an exception to the law of celibacy. But this morning she admitted she was a mere woman involved in a forbidden love affair but Ryan was no mere lover. Unwilling to give him up, how could she compete against God?

The Priest's Virgin Sinner: A Taboo Erotic Short (Her Forbidden Men Book 2) By J. C. Hardin - “I never used to be this person. I never used to have these shameful desires. I was an innocent 19-year-old who went to college while living at home with my family. I went to church every Sunday like you're supposed to. I kept myself away from boys and tried to be a good girl. I never used to be this type of person. However, things changed. Dark desires grew within me. I thirsted hard for my family's priest. It wasn't supposed to happen. But it has. Now, the only thing I want is for this holy man to show me just how unholy this world could be.” Available only in Kindle and eBook Editions.

The Priest and the Prodigal by S. Adam - Only available in Kindle Edition, The Priest and the Prodigal: A Story of Taboo Love" suggests a narrative that revolves around a forbidden romantic relationship between a priest and a prodigal. The title immediately sets up a power dynamic between the two characters, with the priest being in a position of authority and the prodigal being a rebellious figure. The use of the term "taboo" implies that their love is considered socially unacceptable or morally wrong, adding an element of danger and risk to their relationship. The title also suggests a story of redemption, as the prodigal character may be seeking forgiveness and guidance from the priest. Overall, the title suggests a dramatic story of love, morality, and the consequences of going against societal norms and religious teachings.

Pleasing the Pastor by Daisy Jane - “The Pastor looks enormous behind that podium. Almost Godly. He looks at me like I'm unexplored territory and his life's dream is exploration. When I look at him, I’m mesmerized. But you can't fall for your Pastor ten years your senior... can you?”

The Priest and the Princess by Kathryn Kaufmann - She prayed to find Mr. Right… but this has to be wrong.Is asking for a commitment-minded man too much? Laura Daniels didn’t think so, but after wasting too many years on too many losers she’s giving up hope. That is until a chance encounter with a childhood friend sparks some new feelings. He’s exactly the kind of man she wants: sweet, funny, handsome… Except Heaven help her, he’s a priest—the new interim priest at her church. Worse, despite his vow, he has feelings for her and struggles with the pain-staking guilt of believing she could be his one true love, while Laura’s heart is torn between her lifelong love for God and her newfound love for Father Carl. It will take nothing short of a miracle to find a happy ending.

Priest: An Instalove Possessive Alpha Romance By Flora Ferrari - Stand alone novel in A Man Who Knows What He Wants series, available only in Kindle and eBook Editions. “Coming out of the jungle after almost twenty years, I’m not grappling with my faith as I reconsider my future in the priesthood, it's a different sort of calling. Something I don’t even know yet, until I meet her. I’m not grappling with my faith, but I’m sure as hell gonna be grappling with my Grace. In the horizontal position, if I’ve got anything to do with it. Her dad Carl is my best friend, we grew up together and he’s saved my ass so many times it hurts to think I’m breaking his heart by loving his daughter, but that fresh calling I got? The one that drew me from the jungle, it all makes sense as soon as I see her, and I know, right there and then that she’s my woman and I have to make a family of my own with her. Starting right now.”

The Priest by Erin Pim - When a good-hearted young woman becomes stressed at her workplace, she ends up doing things she regrets. Unhappy with her immoral actions, she decides to visit the one person she knows can set her back on the right path: a male dominatrix known only as ‘The Priest’. This mysterious character advertises an ability to purge women of their sins - exactly what our woman needs. Available in Kindle Edition.

Priest: True Love by Pamela White - Father Daniel is unlike any man Kelly Hall has ever met; while she struggles to adjust to her federal detention at Carlyle. But even within the mysteries surrounding events leading to her sentence, and her wayward boyfriend still living at home, a growing affinity for the priest of Carlyle church mass cannot be avoided forever. Father Daniel, who has been the priest over Carlyle church mass for two years, is stricken with an attraction for Kelly Hall. When the beautiful young woman begins working for him in the chapel, Father Daniel feels drawn to her and despite his protest, is weakening in withholding himself from the attraction between them.

Playing With Her Priests by S. E. Law - When Pastors Jordan and Jason stepped up to the pulpit, the breath caught in my throat. These were the new pastors at the Village Church? The men had perfect lips, tattoos swirling up their forearms, and cocky, knowing smiles that made my heart race. In fact, all the female congregants let out a collective sigh when Pastors Jason and Jordan got up to preach. But Jason and Jordan are no average men of the cloth. The two handsome priests are godliness personified, yet with a taste for sin. Book 3 of the Playing With Them series, available only in Kindle and eBook Editions.

The Priest’s Lover: A Romance by Maria Avery - On the surface, 19 year old Jessica is demure, shy, and retiring - the very image of what a good Catholic girl should be. But the holier-than-thou teen has been in love with Father Damon for as long as she can remember, and she's convinced that if she can light the fire of passion within him, his desire will turn him away from his holy devotion and towards her. As his lust turns blossoms into love, it the relationship is threatened by Jessica's jealous best friend who uses blackmail to get what she wants. Available in Kindle Edition.

Priest’s Curves: Curvy Girl Romance by Kelsie Calloway - “Ten years ago, my best friend and high school sweetheart left me to become a priest. He says he came back to town to change lives, but I know it's because of me. I'll bring this priest to his knees. Sorry, daddy, I've been bad.Or whatever it is you say in the confessional.” Book 11 in the Curvy Girl of the Month Club series but can be read independently. Only available in Kindle Edition.

Rebel Priest by Adrianne Leigh - A priest is expected to protect his flock, observe a strict vow of celibacy, and honor his vow to God. “I've always been good at obeying the rules. And then she came.With her, I'm eager to desecrate every sacrament. One filthy taste of pleasure and pain--one stolen touch of heavenly blasphemy--a lifetime of sacred torment.Forbidden love is more dangerous and more intoxicating than any other kind, and the sweeter the sin, the greater the catastrophe.By the edicts of my church, I am no longer in a state of grace. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I am a priest and she is my obsession. This is my unholy confession.”

Sexpulsion by Jorge Smith - Having been visited by awakened ghosts throughout the night, a troubled single lady feels she must seek the assistance of a local priest. She complies to cruel and sexual rituals after hearing his perverted directions, in order to restore her tranquility.

The Sinful Priest: MM First Time Straight to Gay Age Gap by M. M. Cummings - James couldn’t let the image of last night go. Ambrose was among the pews doing everything but pray with that man. And now Ambrose was ready to confess his sins. But James isn’t prepared for the truth or the sinful words coating the young man’s tongue. Each one unlocks hidden, forbidden desires inside James. Wicked desires to be with someone. Worse, to be with a man. To be with Ambrose and make him scream. Desperation floods the air. Suddenly, the priest’s collar is suffocating. The confession box, too small. Slight flecks of pleasure peak from the lattice barrier with devilish movements. James is losing it and there is nothing he can do to calm his throbbing need. He wants Ambrose. He needs him. And maybe a fall from grace could land him in a world of happiness and bliss. Only available in Kindle and eBook Editions.

Say Your Prayers by Crystal Ash and Cathryn Moon - Hell has taken over. And Earth’s last sanctuary doesn’t stand a chance. A young woman with horns was the last person Father Stavros expected to see approaching his gate, begging for sanctuary. As a man of God, he learned to never turn away someone in need, especially after Hell’s Rising. But the sinful cravings that follow him and his fellow priests are a whole new obstacle. The horned woman is a succubus--aligned with the very evil they are the last stronghold against.Which begs the question, why would a succubus seek refuge in a church?Spat up from Hell, Deyva’s arrival has made the three priests of Bethel question everything from their faith, their integrity, and the very enemy they face. She may not actually be a monster, but a person truly in need of protection, in need of love, and that rattles the Fathers to their very foundations. When Hell’s Kingdom sends the least likely adversary to Bethel’s gate to retrieve the wayward succubus, the priests are faced with a choice. Throw Deyva back to the pit that spat her out, and take a final stance against Hell with everything they’ve got. Or protect her, give in to their feelings, and risk losing the last grip on their faith.

Sweetest Sin by Sosie Frost - “The priest responsible for my salvation is the man leading me into temptation. Or maybe I’m the one corrupting him? Father Raphael St. Lucian shares my desire, but even he can’t fight our twisted thoughts and fantasies. He promises that we will be saved if we confront our lust and resist this dangerous attraction. But an innocent kiss becomes a forbidden touch, and midnight secrets destroy us in beautiful blasphemy. What happens when our faith is tested and my most honest confession threatens to break his sacred vow? How long can we deny the sweetest sin?”

Stepbrother Priest: A Taboo Love Story by Riley Jones - “I didn't care if it was a sin, I had to have him. None of it should have happened the way it did. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with Jonah. Everything about it was wrong. Not only was he my stepbrother, he was also a celibate priest. I had no right to convince him to break his celibacy, but I couldn't help myself. Jonah was sweet and muscular, the perfect man for a girl like me. So what if the church forbade our relationship? The heart wants what the heart wants. At least that’s what I had to keep telling myself. I just hoped that God would forgive us.” Available in Kindle Edition.

To Become a Priest by Den Adler - Thirteen-year-old Danny Bates is obsessed with becoming a Catholic priest, and he enters Southport, Wisconsin's, Resurrection Seminary in 1957. But a tragic fire in Chicago ignites doubts about the God Danny is so eager to serve, and he falls in love with Jessica Fernettan, his best friend Pat's twin sister. As Jessica urges both Danny and Pat to leave the seminary, and with the Church in a period of dramatic change following its second Vatican Council, the young seminarians face agonizing choices.

This is My Body by Elena Graf - The new rector of St. Margaret's by the Sea Episcopal Church has a secret. Lucille Bartlett was a rising star at the Metropolitan Opera, but she disappeared from the stage and no one knows why. Philosophy Professor Erika Bultmann is a confirmed agnostic, who doesn't have much use for religion, but she is fascinated by Mother Lucy. When Erika returns to her summer cottage in Hobbs to finish her last book before she retires, Lucy is drawn to the enigmatic professor, but she wants much more than a casual affair. Erika has been in open relationships; Lucy wants a commitment. Lucy believes marriage is sacred; Erika thinks it's a vestige of the patriarchy. When Lucy's secret is revealed, she needs Erika's support more than ever. Can they put aside their differences and find common ground?

The Temptations of Heaven by Greg Kauffman-Starkey - Father Leo Brannigan has been a man of deeply religious faith all his life. He is a respected pillar of his community and a man everyone turns to when they’re in need, spiritual or emotional. A chance encounter with a disturbed parishioner after a fire-and-brimstone sermon about homosexuality threatens to turn the good Father’s entire world upside-down. He finds himself strangely drawn intimately to the man he is counseling and is constantly thinking of him in ways he’s not ready to admit. The night he has his very first bombastic erotic dream about the fellow quickly has him questioning everything he thought he believes. Is he falling victim to the very lust he preaches so strongly against? Has the man made him wonder what he’s been missing by being a man of the cloth? If so, can Leo remain faithful in his religious convictions while growing closer to having a sexual relationship with this alluring stranger who has suddenly taken over his every waking moment and many of his sleeping ones?

Vatican: A Novel by Malachi Martin - The subject of this long and intriguing novel is the Vatican's elaborate bureaucracy, in particular its powerful financial network, headed by a mysterious figure known as the Keeper. Another central character, who gives the story its slant, is American Richard Lansing, who joins the Vatican as a young monsignore in 1945, and becomes the confidant of five successive popes. When he reaches the apex of his career, he staunchly opposes any Church bargain with Mammon. (Note: this book is not a romance or erotic story but I include it in this list because it might be of interest nonetheless).

#hierophilia #priest kink #priestkink #blasphemy kink #religious kink #religion kink #blasphemy #mlm #wlw #straight #romance #Once again i have not read all the books listed so i cannot speak for their quality overall

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