if you know me, you know mobius is the love of my life so yeah I'd say I'm a bit excited for loki season 2

Long distance loneliness

the thing about imogen saying that "if getting rid of delilah means getting rid of [launda] too, it's not worth it" is that it doesn't really change anything, does it? yes it provides laudna with reassurance that she is loved regardless of what lives in her head, but it doesn't mean that imogen doesn't still have negative feelings about delilah being there. "I love you more than I hate delilah" doesn't mean she isn't still disgusted by delilah. I get the sense that this is not an important distinction for imogen--she's said her piece, she's told laudna that she matters more, and that's the end of it for her. laudna matters more. her meaning is crystal clear: I love you and I'm choosing you.

but laudna has been obsessed with imogen saying she was disgusted by delilah watching them. she said herself she can't stop thinking about it, and marisha has said she can't stop thinking about it either, out of game. as far as they know currently, delilah's soul is twined in and around laudna's to the point where they are indistinguishable. the only way to get rid of delilah is to lose laudna. laudna doesn't know where she ends and delilah begins. imogen loves her, but imogen is disgusted by delilah. how does that work if they are one and the same? how does laudna cope with the fact that an inextinguishable part of herself is both genuinely evil and hated by the person she loves the most? at what point does being disgusted by delilah become being disgusted by a piece of laudna herself?

watching Nimona again and a moment i missed at first was when Ballister is handed his sword in the beginning he can clearly TELL something is off about it. like as soon as he holds it he frowns and is testing the weight before getting distracted by todd and the arrival of the director and just oof

I've got an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow, and I'm getting my conch piercing swapped out for a shorter one. that's gonna be stressful 🙃

i'm spending a lot of money for someone who doesn't know if they'll be employed a month from now

What if stick!Alan gains powers at some point? He’s fidgeting with a random item and accidentally resizes it somehow, and he just silently stares at it wondering how that just happened and what it means

god that'd be funny. SC is so excited because HOLY FUCK THAT'S SO COOL!!!!! and alan is just unsure if he should be worried about this ability or not. i think it'd be fun if he could do similar things to what agent does with his array of tools as well. plus like. that'd be hella interesting when vic comes around

been hunting for excuses to write about him again before rgg8 and i finally found one

i didn't think much of this scene when i played through it initially, but going back to it i suddenly remember that scene from the start of yakuza 1 where he tells kiryu that kazama used to be the tojo clan's top assassin. being as close to kazama as he is, i have no doubt he already knows the true nature of sunflower and the deaths of kiryu and nishiki's parents at this point.

a big part of the reason i like to lowball kashiwagi's age (29 or 30 in Y0; mid-sixties in IW) is because i don't think he'd have had such an idealised view of kazama had he been any closer in age to him when they first met. i don't know if they'll ever tell us how long kashiwagi was in the family before he made captain, or why he swore up in the first place, and frankly i don't ever feel informed enough to make those kinds of decisions for my own headcanon. but if he was, say, in his late teens or early 20s, i don't think it would be a stretch to say he might still take some influence from kazama's mentality. absolutely not as much as if he was a sunflower kid (...could he have been a sunflower kid??), but enough to inform decisions he makes later in his life.

to wander further down the path of non-canon, i'm not sure kashiwagi would have decided on his own not to say anything to the boys for thirty-odd years. kazama clearly harbours a lot of guilt around the fact he murdered enough parents to fill an orphanage, and keeping it from the kids means he doesn't have to confront that fact every day he sees them. they miss their parents, but they look up to kazama for offering them a new life. they enjoy his company. they're happy. why risk demoralising them, kashiwagi, after all that?

on the other hand, he could have just kept himself out of it on purpose like he does here. it's an interesting parallel to how he's described in yakuza 3 - staying out of ichiban's drama because he trusts him to sort it himself, vs staying out of clan drama to not bring anything down on his head as clan captain (which obviously doesn't work). still, he refuses to relay daigo's whereabouts to kiryu, because he thinks it best kiryu doesn't know. for valid reasons, but it's there.

i want to say something profound here but i don't think i can. i just really like him in this game. it's nice to be able to see how he's grown and changed as a person since the 80s; since kazama's death; since he got gunned down in his office and died in the arms of his last remaining family figure. but it's also nice to see the ways in which he's stayed the same. this scene from 7 is one of the things that makes me long for a more kazama-centric game, or at least more exploration of kazama's character, because if that gaiden substory is anything to go on he's been informing kiryu's decisions for basically his entire life. it'd be cool to get a more direct peek into kazama's story.

Okay hear me out-

Imagine Jake's out driving, working or whatever, taxi driver stuff yknow, and he's just chillin' bickering like brothers talking with Steven and Marc because it's a slow day today. And then- he gets a text from you. Obviously he's very excited because !!!!!! it's you!!!! and yknow it's the usual begging-him-to-come-home-because-you-miss-him sorta stuff but he won't give in, this is like the fifth time you've done it and he won't give in this time he has self control. No he doesn't

anyway THEN he gets another text from you and this time it's an image (dun dun duuuuuuuuuh) and when he opens it up- surprise surprise, it's a nude you sent. He nearly chokes and dies right then and there because this is in fact the first time you've ever sent any of them a nude. Usually, when Steven is at work, he gives in after like a couple dozens texts and comes home, Jake takes a bit longer but he gives in (he can't say no to his baby) Marc doesn't even work so whatever.

But this time, this time you went a step further. Marc and Steven are losing their minds. Jake's not sure how to react so he just keeps driving.

But you just keep on sending them. You picked up on a wave of confidence and you're riding it until you hit your destination. Videos of you playing with yourself, moaning Jake's name (and occasionally Marc and Steven because you know they could persuade him easily), photos of the mess you made on the bed once you had finished and of your godly body. And they just keep on coming and Jake is losing it.

He tries, he really really REALLY tries not to give in, he parks somewhere and takes deep breaths trying to stay calm, but god the moans and the way you're fiddling with yourself or playing with those damn toys all at the thought of him has him on edge and so so hard and Steven and Marc are NOT helping. Steven is just whimpering like a pathetic needy baby, telling Jake to replay the videos over and over again (And Jake happily complies) and Marc is just yelling at him to turn around and go back home because a) they're horny b) Steven's gonna lose it soon and c) you "should be punished for this continuous behaviour" (words that would normally very much entice Jake Lockley but he's TRYING not to get too excited. Spoiler alert: he fails).

Jake didn't reply to any of them. You can tell he had seen them, but he wasn't saying anything, and you were panicking, because what if this weirded him out? what if it was a step too far? But it's alright, all worries aside, because the next thing you know you've got a horny and slightly angry Jake Lockley barging back home and oh were you prepared for this (despite the the overthinking, you still hoped he'd come so you remained prepared), because he runs into the bedroom to find you laying on the bed with maybe a few toys pulled out and ready for some fun. And boy does he (and the other two) deliver.

So now you know their weak spot. Anytime you get too needy, too impatient, or just don't want them to leave, you've got a trick up your sleeve. And they always give in.

Yeah anyway so this idea hasn't left my mind since last night (yes I went to bed with this thought circling through my head) and now I've got my google docs opened and oh boy. This-....I'm gonna regret this. But I'm a whore, and this is good filth yknow. So like. Why not.

so yeah. God this is gonna be so bad but whatever.

-Clem

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good omens season 2 is like "hello we're so fun and funny and aww romantic (HERE'S A LOT OF SPECIFICALLY QUEER RELIGIOUS TRAUMA, PRETEND IT'S A SIDE DISH)"

I think she's really the one!!!! I know I said that about the other 5 but this time it's different !!!!!!!

it's gonna work out once and for all and then I'll never be lonely again

hi peeps howdy hello

job interview tomorrow yeehonk

in one of those phases where i listen to all my demos and go "why did i think these were bad this is a straight up banger" but unfortunately will not be able to act on this creative impulse as i'm fully booked tomorrow trying to read rob roy in one sitting.

can someone just come fucking... reset my body or whatever the fuck. this started out as the cold from hell, which is par for the course when your 2 y/o goes to preschool, whatever, but then it morphed from the bad enough but expected "bunged up nose and brain buzzies and body aches" to a throat infection that I am pretty sure was a colony of bacteria trying to straight up throttle me for the crime of wanting to breathe normally, and then, just as my ability to swallow seemed to be making a re-entrance, the virus or whatever dogshit group of tiny malcontents has invaded my body, decided to pack up and move to my ear, where they have been forcibly redecorating my eustachian tube and middle ear using ice picks and diamond saws until the wee hours of this morning when what i presume must be the knife-headed duatlings based on how it felt, slashed my ear drum and left me with half a functional hearing and 100% more liquid coming from my ear than reasonably should be allowed to come out of it.

i am straight up not having a good time here.