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jakejizzka · 1 year

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Forbidden- Part 2

Jake Kiszka x reader

Tw: cheating, unprotected sex, slight dom (m)

18+ ONLY NSFW minors go away

Summary: after a one night stand, Jake comes back around after you thought he had forgot about you.

Part One is here :)

It had been 6 days since he texted. You told yourself after day 7 you would do your best to move on, if that was even possible. You didn’t even know if he was still in your state, you had to be realistic.

It still felt almost unreal, that whole night seeming more and more like a dream with each day that passed. Life continued on, and you tried to wrap your head around it

You had been at work all day, and you felt the migraine coming on. The drive home you sat in silence to try and ease it off. Your only thoughts focusing on your couch waiting for you.

Pulling into your apartment parking lot you noticed an unfamiliar car parked in the back but just figured it was management or a new tenant. You grab your bags and take your hair down to relieve some of the pressure building up in your skull.

After climbing the stairs you unlocked the door and walk through. Once the door has closed behind you, you drop all your bags on the ground in the middle of your living room. Walking over to the couch, you just collapse there for a moment relieved to be home.

The quiet is relaxing, and the dark easing the throbs in your temples. You smile at the peace you feel finally after the world's longest day.

You put on a playlist of some soft songs and laid in the dark for a bit, before peeling yourself off the couch to go get some water.

As the fridge opens you hear your phone ding from inside your bag on the floor. You groan, realizing your boss truly doesn’t understand the concept of being off the clock.

You have half a mind to just ignore her texts, you just barely have gotten the pounding migraine under control. Grabbing your water you walk over to the bag digging for your phone with a sigh.

Quickly unlocking it you see his text. It was mere hours from hitting the 7 days mark you set for yourself. You smirk at his smartass timing on that one, swiping up to read the message. God you hated how excited you were seeing his name display there on your phone.

“I need to see you…please.”

You roll your eyes, thinking back on the last week of you pathetically waiting on any text. Trying to form a response you stare for a moment. Before you’ve even attempted to type anything, there’s one light knock at your door.

Standing up you walk over to your front door peeking out, seeing Jake and he seems shaken up. He’s wearing black jeans, and a flannel. A hat to cover his face. No sunglasses this time, you say a silent thank you for that. He rests his hand up on the door silently begging for it to open, and his head drops thinking he’s fucked everything up before it has even begun. You can see the wheels turning, spinning out in his mind as he stands there.

He is tapping the toe of his boot right on the edge of your doorway. As soon as you open the door his eyes meet yours and his shoulders drop. The anxious foot tapping stills, and he moves towards you. There’s a frantic, starved look in his eyes as he steps in.

You step to the side, allowing him to enter the apartment. Careful to keep some distance, expecting an explanation of some sort to follow.

You look at him with hopeful but cautious eyes,

“Hey, Jake”

He smiles at you, his eyes sparkling but reserved. “Y/n…im…listen, I know I…I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me. I had an..unexpected visitor come into town the next day after I left here. I haven’t been able to get away. But God..I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind. I wasn’t sure if I should come here…but I had to see you y/n. We’re moving on to the next state tomorrow and..god.” His eyebrows are furrowed. You can tell he’s giving it his best shot but per usual Jake’s emotions aren’t his best forte.

You take in everything he is saying, and just slowly and sadly nod in understanding. He came to apologize and cover his ass, so he can leave unworried. Great.

“Okay Jake '' is all you can manage to get out while still maintaining the hold on your emotions. You hated feeling pathetic like this, what other outcome could you have possibly expected from your little one night stand? He’s a taken man, and more importantly a fucking rockstar. What a lame cliche you’ve found yourself in. Defeated and disappointed are the only words to describe the feeling in your gut right now.

You look at him, just as beautiful as ever with his warm deep chocolate eyes staring into yours saying a million things to you without saying anything at the same time.

It’s not like you guys were in love or anything, but you knew how bad sex was going to be for the rest of your life now after having him like that. You accidentally let out a huffed laugh at that thought being your concern right now, and your face turns bright red when you realize it slipped out of your mouth.

His face drops, he slowly steps towards you with his head tilted to the side. Squinting his eyes he looks at you and asks, “What exactly is funny y/n?

You can tell he likes feeling challenged like this so you play into it. Tilting your head to the side too to mock him, you whisper “What are you talking about Jakey?” Faking your best innocent look.

His eyes glisten and you see his tongue barely peeking out licking his bottom lip. Before you know it you’re pinned down on your couch in one fast movement, all of his weight on top of you as he looks down at you. Something in him sparked and caught flame, and you’re loving every second of it.

Slowly leaning down he hovers his lips above yours and he whispers, “I said, what. are. you. laughing. at.”

The warmth of his body on top of you, pressing you into the couch makes a heavy breath fall out of your mouth and you see the corner of his mouth turn up in a small smirk. He keeps pressing harder into you, leaning down next to your ear letting his breath hit your neck. He whispers, “Answer me, pretty girl”

It feels like your body is vibrating as you tremble out, “I just-...I was laughing at my own thought because it was ridiculous….that’s all”

His half smirk, blooms into a full blown grin and his gives a gentle bite down on your ear as you hear a “Mmm” come from his throat. “Now tell me what it was baby, come on you can do it”.

He’s squeezing your secrets out of you with his breath on your neck spinning your brain in a 360. You feel how hard he is, pressed up again your body as he continues to hold you here until he gets what he wants.

“I was just thinking…-” You blush at your willingness to admit this to him but he’s got you unraveled “..that I know we aren’t in love or anything but how fucking sad sex is going to be the rest of my life after having you.”

He chuckles and moves to look at you in the eyes, they seem to be softer than before as he looks at you. In another movement, he’s removed himself off of you and switched to having you sitting in his lap while he looks up at you.

“I’m flattered, but darling you haven’t seen half of what I can do. Hate to break it to you.” He winks, but you can see through the cocky diversion due to the light pink shade spreading across his cheeks. He runs a hand up your neck bringing you down for a kiss, surprisingly slow and gentle.

He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it contemplating if he should say whatever he was about to. You see the battle going on in his eyes and then the fire is back and he continues, “Would you like to know a secret of mine now?”

You nod your head yes, batting your eyelashes at him and he bites his bottom lip softly in response.

“Well, ever since I left this apartment last week…I’ve been dodging metaphorical sex bullets from..her. You know? Like you were saying..l..don’t think much will compare anymore, now that I have you. And I think personally, that’s going to create a lot more problems for me than you..”

You look at him shocked, at his honesty and his vulnerability to bring this up on his own will. You ask, barely whispering “You’re saying you can’t fuck your girlfriend anymore because of me?” Yes it’s fucked up but good god, the thought of that is driving you crazy. You start shifting in his lap to give a little friction.

He starts running his hands up your sides, pulling you closer to him and you can hear his breathing picking up. Getting heavier, needier.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying baby, it’s not you..” He whispers back, almost coming out as a whimper.

You can’t take it anymore, leaning down running both of your hands into his long wavy hair you crash your lips against his in parting his soft pink lips with your tongue. A groan rumbles from his chest, and he’s kissing you back just as hard. His tongue meets yours, and when they touch a switch goes off in him.

He’s lifting you with your legs still wrapped around him, walking you to the bedroom just like before. Walking over the edge of the bed he pauses to kiss you just a few seconds longer, biting your lip and pulling it down eliciting a quiet moan from you.

As soon as the moan has barely touched your lips, you’re falling. He’s released his grip on you and sends you slamming into the bed, stripping his clothes off like having them on physically pains him.

You catch your breath, and he takes it away again as he’s unbuttoning his flannel and you see his body being revealed. He’s leaning down just slightly, undressing you while still standing beside the bed. He takes one last look down at you completely exposed below him clenching his jaw, and a groan erupts from him. Immediately he’s pushing you to the middle of the bed, climbing over you. His soft warm skin sliding and pressing on yours feels like electricity. He starts placing sloppy kisses all across your neck and down your throat.

Your body is trembling under him, his lips part and you feel his tongue slide from the base of your throat to your chest. His lips are hungry, biting and licking all over your breasts. He gives a soft suck on one of your nipples and your back arches up into him involuntarily, which causes him to give another breathy moan.

“Fuck you’re perfect, you know I haven’t stopped thinking about this since I left? You know how hard you’ve made it on me baby?” His breath is warm on your chest as he speaks between kisses.

You smile and watch as he moves further down to your stomach. The warm soft touch of his lips travels to each of your hips, sucking and massaging them with his tongue. He’s leaving you hickies to remember him, but you don’t think he’s accepted you’ll never forget him.

You start blushing the further down he goes, nervous about disappointing him. He sees it in your face and gently kisses your thighs, he looks up at you through his hair, “I have been regretting not doing this the first time for a week now, just imagining..fantasizing..about how you taste. My sweet good girl, and I didn’t even get a taste..”

His kisses move up your thighs, spreading them with his strong hands at the same time. Your eyes flutter closed for a moment, and you feel his tongue on you. Starting at your entrance up to your clit, taking his time.

A shiver runs through your whole body and you let out a whiney gasp at the sensation. He speeds up his pace, groaning a “fuck” into your core. His tongue is circling around your clit when you finally let out a loud moan, unable to stay quiet.

“Mmm you sound so pretty for me baby” he smiles before continuing his tongues motions without missing a beat. You feel the pressure building in your stomach, the moans keep falling out one after another. “Jake..Jake I’m-“

He stops what he’s doing and “No you’re not, not until I say so. Do you understand?” He looks at you and his pupils are blown wide open.

You nod, “Yes sir”

You notice his eyes slightly flutter at your response as he smiles, “Good girl, so good for me”

He starts moving back up your body giving you time to ride off the edge you were so close to. He’s watching you try to slow your breath and he slowly kisses your neck again, distracting you from the hand still down between your thighs you forgot about. He slips a finger into you slowly, and you gasp his name at the sudden sensation.

Watching your reactions seem to be pushing him even more, and he whispers “You want me to fuck you pretty girl? You gonna let me fuck you?”

“Please Jake, yes” you whine, and he chuckles at the desperation in your voice. He places a kiss on your lips again, with your bottom lip getting another soft bite.

He lines himself up with your entrance, teasing you a bit. He starts running his head up and down your core and your legs shake. “Jake, please..”

“I want you to beg real pretty for me baby, tell me how bad you need it.”

A burning desire rips through you, and you start saying anything just hoping something convinced him to give you what you need.

“Please Jake, I need it so fucking bad. I need to feel you fill me up Jake. It’s all I want please”

He throws his head back smiling then looking down with hair in his face he likes himself up again and slowly starts stretching you out. It hurts in the best way imaginable and he grabs onto your hips, and pulls you down onto him the rest of the way in one motion. A scream of pleasure floats through the room and you can’t be sure who it came from anymore.

Still gripping your hips he speeds up his pace, and your mind feels hazy. It’s like he’s fucking your soul out and it’s starting to float above the bed. The pressure in your stomach returns quickly, and your moans get louder.

“Fuck y/n, you feel so fucking ..good…god dammit y/n…fuck” he’s trying to speak through the panting and he whispers the last part, “…she’s never felt this good. God you were made for me weren’t you darling? Fuck. You feel so much better, you’re so much more…”

His last confessions send you hurdling up to the finish line and you beg him, “Please Jake can I cum? I’m close..i…please Jake?”

You begging him, remembering to ask for his permission sends him right behind you. His thrusts are getting harder, he breathes out “fuck baby give it to me, let it go. Show me why you’re the best, let me see you”

His praise sends you over the edge, and your vision goes blurry as it rips through your body. You can’t tell what’s coming out of your mouth anymore. He is right behind you gripping onto your thighs hard, screaming your name.

He collapses onto you trying to catch his breath, he strokes your cheek kissing you on the lips again.

Your body has stopped shaking and you finally let out a mirror of his comment last time in his ear, “Thank you Jake”.

Another shudder goes through him and he pulls you into his chest breathing your scent in. He holds you close to him, and you feel a vibrating hum in his chest as he rests his chin on your head.

After a few minutes like this, he gets up only putting his boxers back on to go get a towel and some water for you. You smile at him being here still. It’s not rushed like last time, you can really appreciate him in brand new ways like this.

You know you’re setting yourself up for failure by asking, but when he comes back it blurts out “Would you be able to stay here tonight?” You look up at him wincing already knowing he has a home, it’s not here.

He pauses, trying to think of a way to stay. After a few minutes, he looks out the window letting out a sigh.

“Yeah, y/n. I’d love to. I’ll deal with whatever comes of it tomorrow” he gives you a half smile.

“You don’t have to…I know…it’s not that easy..” you trail off trying to not hurt your own feelings and shake off the post sex clinginess. You try to laugh it off to not make him feel bad and look away.

You feel his hand gently on your chin as he turns your head back to look at him. He smiles at you, looking at your smudged makeup and messy hair.

“Y/n…can I please?…just let me stay. It’ll be okay.” He looks at you with pleading eyes, that say more than you can fully decipher right now.

You nod your head cautiously and crawl up to the top of the bed huddling under the blankets. He follows your actions, pulling you into him. His hand is stroking your hair, and you feel the sense of comfort wash over you as your body relaxes. The warmth from his stomach on your back brings a smile to your face.

He leans down, whispering “Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.”

——————————————————

You half open your eyes the next morning, and to your surprise Jake is still there beside you. He’s still sleeping and his mouth is open slightly, quiet snores coming out. It’s endearing seeing Mr.CoolGuy like this, you trace your fingers over his cheek and then wrap your arm around his stomach resting your head on his chest. He stirs a bit, and you feel a hand come up to rest on your head.

You both almost drift off again, when in classic Jake fashion his phone starts ringing. At first he ignores it, clearly still exhausted. The second time it rings he’s dozed off and doesn’t hear it. You feel bad, but you don’t wake him.

A few minutes later, it starts ringing a third time and he shoots up like the bed is on fire and looks at you panicked.

“FUCK- I stayed all night and slept in. Jesus fuck m-……’h-hey! HEY baby hey I’m alright sorry. I dozed off in the studio and Josh let me crash at his place since it was closer. Ok-okay yeah. Yep. On my way now. Love you.’ “

The last two words feel like a lash in the face, but you ignore it. Trying to remain unphased. You watch him, and he crawls back across the bed to you.

He takes your face in his hands and says, “I’ll keep coming around, as long as you let me y/n. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure it’s not too long in between. But we are leaving for the next state today, so I will text you. I’m sorry I didn’t before but-….” He trails off, stopping any further confession from spilling “…but I have to go.”

He finishes getting dressed and grabs your hand to placing a kiss on top of it.

“I ordered you some breakfast while I was getting my stuff together, it should be here any minute. Until next time, y/n”. You can tell he wants to say something else but his defensive cocky exterior is already rebuilding up as he gets closer to the door.

“See you when I see you, Jake.” You reply calmly.

He looks into your eyes, opens his mouth and closes it again. He nods and walks out the door.

Once the food is delivered you take it to your kitchen quietly smiling at his sneaky little kindness. You sit at your kitchen table and the silence echoing around you suddenly feels heavy.

As if reading your mind, your phone buzzes and it’s a text from Jake.

“Miss you and that body already ;) hope you’re eating your breakfast! Gotta build that energy back up.”

You roll your eyes at him and wipe the tear off your face.

“Thank you”

Your reply mirroring his from last time again.

Shaking off the emotion, setting the phone down you finish your breakfast and turn on your radio to fill the silence.

#jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka #jake kiska fic #gvf series #gvf fanfiction #jacob thomas kiszka

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oddaodd · 3 years

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· For Ages ·

Summary: Y/n falls for her lifelong friend, Tommy.

Warnings: SPOILERS for season 2 and all next seasons, mentions of smut, death and alcohol.

Author’s note: Wooooo first fic of 2021! Happy new year everyone, I wish you all the loveliest of years! ✨❤️

Tommy and her had been friends for ages, they had always been each others rock. The moment y/n had laid eyes on him she knew he was her person. When Tommy left for war she spent endless nights crying over his absence and when he came back she spent endless nights in his bedroom because talking to her helped keep the shovels at bay.

But much to y/n’s dismay they never did more than talking. You see, she had been harboring a secret From Tommy. One she doubted would ever share with him. She had fallen for him.

Grace’s arrival in Birmingham made y/n burry her secret even deeper into her soul. She cherished Tommy too much to loose him over an unwanted sentimental confession. Y/n saw how happy the Irish barmaid made Tommy and she didn’t want to keep him from that happiness. He needed that happiness. Having that in mind she decided to let things play out, not too worried about the outcome because after all, she expected Grace to leave after a while.

But then Tommy told her he was marrying Grace.

What do you think?” He asked. She was the only person whose opinion mattered to him.

“I-I think it’s great” she lied through a fake smile “I’m happy for you Tommy”

There was a heavy silence that y/n feared allowed Tommy to tell just how she was feeling.

“I have news too” she continued “Im going to Hertfordshire”

“Why?”

“I’ve been needing some country air”

And so before the wedding Y/n left. The county air did do her good. She knew it would be unbearable to see the love of her life married to another and each time she thought of Tommy she went and took long walks on the many flower fields that surrounded her property.

She got news of Grace’s passing and was tempted to return to Birmingham, but she didn’t know if she could face Tommy so she just wrote him a letter. Days and months passed and she was convinced she would spend the rest of her life in the old country state, but then she got a black hand and shortly after, a call from Tommy urging her to go back to Birmingham. Apparently the Changrettas knew she used to be awfully close to the family.

She arrived in Birmingham and was surprised to see a broken family. She could tell Tommy was hurting and though she tried to comfort him all Tommy did was push her away.

One night a knock called Y/n to her door. She opened it, seeing who she expected to see behind it and invited him in. That night they talked like they hadn’t in years and Y/n felt a sense of belonging she hadn’t felt in ages. The alcohol started working its magic, Tommy began smiling at things y/n said, which he hadn’t done in ages. He knew it was partly because of the alcohol in his system but also he couldn’t not attribute a great part of his improved mood to y/n’s presence. Y/n too became giddy and happy And with each sip she took from her glass she felt the chains that prevented her thoughts to traveling at how much she yearned for Tommy loosen. She wanted terribly to feel his lips pressed against her and his body on hers.

“Y/n?” Tommy’s voice broke her thoughts. Apparently she had been staring at him intently enough for a drunk him to notice.

“What?” She asked sobering up slightly.

But Thomas didn’t speak again, his eyes were fixated on her lips and in the blink of an eye he was kissing her. He half expected her to push him away but she matched his need and force to the nail.

The line y/n had drawn ages ago that she knew she shouldn’t cross in order to not jeopardize their friendship got painted over by Tommy’s touch and caresses.

Her old bedroom became witness to her old fantasy from ages ago coming true. When their ecstatic breathings came back to normal y/n once again fixated her glance on Tommy who fixated his to her ceiling, a billion of thoughts crossing through his mind. The alcohol effect was wearing off which forced him to overthink what had just happened between them.

Y/n tenderly placed a cold hand on his cheek prompting him to look at her. Her touch seemed to startle him. Was he ready for it after Grace’s ? She noticed the doubt on his features and pulled her hand away “Sorry”

“I have to get going” he mumbled standing up and getting dressed.

Y/n looked at him in bewilderment . She wanted to ask him to stay but decided against it, curling into her bedsheets after she heard the sound of her door closing shut.

The next morning she awoke with an aching heart and and anxious mind. Had what happened between them burnt the bond they shared? Knowing that the vendetta was bad enough she decided to not let her feelings show.

Tommy grew guilty as he Painfully saw her fake smile at him whoever their eyes met for the following days. He wanted to tell her everything, he wanted to make it right, but he found his words lacking. Instead he too concealed his true emotions behind.

Things went back to “normal” after a week or so. They would talk and sometimes drink together, but they never talked about what had happened in y/n’s old room.

When the vendetta came to an end y/n found herself walking towards Charlie’s yard, the place had always provided her with an odd sense of comfort, like a warm blanket on a cold winter day.

She sat on a box by the edge of the cut and let out a sigh. It was finally over. She began thinking of all the times she and Tommy had sat together on that very spot and contemplated life. All times that seemed long gone.

And then as if by conjuring, the sound of Tommy’s boots walking on the gravel hit y/n’s ears. They grew closer and closer and y/n’s heart Began beating faster and faster. He sat next to her and produced his cigarette case and lighter from his coat. Offering her one and lighting it before his, both of them entering a peaceful silence. Tommy wasn’t a man of words but the fact that he was there with her told her he felt guilty.

“Remember how we used to hide here when we were kids?” Came Tommy’s voice.

Y/n glanced at him with a melancholy air and smiled sadly “And John used to get so upset that we never told him where our secret hiding spot was”

“Yeah” Tommy began as Y/n let her head rest on his shoulder “he spent hours whining to Polly begging her to make me tell him”

Y/n chuckled and Tommy felt his emotions stir at her movements “I could hear his tantrums from my house”

It felt strange, talking about John. Raw, recent and intimate. It was the first time Tommy spoke about him since his death. He didn’t like it. Y/n took a look at him and saw conflict in his face.

“Are you going back to Hertfordshire? He asked, abruptly changing the subject as he felt her eyes on him.

She took one last long drag of her cigarette before putting it out and fixing her glance to the murky waters of the cut “I’m not sure”

“Stay”

“Why?” She blurted out. Taunting him like that felt dangerous, even after everything.

“I want you to stay” he confessed very shorty after y/n finished her question.

Y/n turned back to look at him. Her eyes full of vulnerability and unspoken pleas. Tommy took his hand and caressed her cheek. An action that caused a small, almost unnoticeable gasp escape her lips. He began slowly inching closer to her lips, giving her time to back away if she didn’t want his touch, but she stayed perfectly still until she felt his lips pressing against hers. Her arms flung to his shoulders pulling him closer to her, he could never be too close.

She felt her heart about to burst as the kiss deepened. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol that enhanced the feeling of Tommy’s tongue against hers, or maybe it was just because it was him, her Tommy from ages ago.

She parted from his lips briefly and before kissing him again breathed “I’m not going anywhere”.

@captivatedbycillianmurphy @peakyxtommy @nyotamalfoy

#Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby one shot #thomas shelby #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby one shot #tommy shelby angst #thomas shelby angst #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders one shot #peaky binders angst

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masterjedilenawrites · 3 years

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Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 2

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 2: The Plan

Pairing: None...yet...

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

The rest of the week saw the three of you using every bit of free time outside your classes and studies to gather information for Thrawn to build a solid plan.

Eli tailed his pesky classmate Arden everywhere, even skipping a class one day to break into his dorm, trying to learn anything about the guy that could be useful to get him involved in the plot. Thrawn analyzed the simulation software and protocols that would be used to administer the tests, mapping out every possible way Commander Burdick could hijack it. And you were the one spying on the Burdick himself. Since the commander didn't seem too interested in your grades, you were able to shadow him without suspicion, and had been able to slip a bug into his offices to eavesdrop on any potential conversations about his plans for sabotage.

Your classmates and the staff were none the wiser. That was the advantage of being social outcasts. Half of them avoided you all like the plague, and the other half already thought you were weird people doing weird things. So it wasn't long before you'd all gotten enough intel to work with.

It was late in the evening at the end of the week. You found yourself in Thrawn and Eli's shared dorm, which looked identical to your own in the opposite wing, because the Empire couldn't bother with things like individuality or comfort. Eli sat on the edge of his top bunk, his legs swinging casually, and his coat unbuttoned to reveal a wrinkled undershirt you knew he hadn't bothered to wash all week. Thrawn paced about in the middle of the room, his long strides only allowing him about four good steps before he had to turn around. He still had his uniform on, boots and badges and all.

You leaned against the railing of the bed, watching Thrawn as he went back and forth. Sometimes he sat still when he was scheming, with his fingers steepled and his gaze seemingly reaching into some unknown dimension beyond your comprehension. That usually happened when he was running through variables that didn't concern you, at least from his perspective. You and Eli had accepted long ago there would always be parts of his plans he would never share with you. He was kind of a control freak like that.

But tonight, he seemed to be more welcoming of collaboration, hence his steady rhythm of pacing in front of you.

"Only one variable remains, as I see it," he was saying. "We understand how the commander will manipulate the system to cause a redundancy in the simulation, thus rendering the test impossible to finish successfully."

You and Eli shared a glance; the only person who truly understood how that was going to happen was Thrawn. He'd tried explaining numerous times but when it came to codes and tech, the two of you weren't able to fully keep up.

"We also know through your investigating," Thrawn motioned to you with what you thought was an impressed look, causing you to feel a little pride, "that the commander plans to only sabotage my test, believing it will be too suspicious if Eli also fails. He will also manipulate his false code to originate from the computer of his former lover Eva Carroway, who currently works in HR. So if an investigation does ensue, it will be traced to her and not him."

You and Eli chuckled under your breaths. It had been a little amusing when you'd discovered Commander Burdick was using this plan to not only undermine Thrawn, but also get revenge on his ex-girlfriend. But even more hilarious was how awkward Thrawn treated the subject. He had been quite perplexed to learn people could be so vindictive after a break-up. And any time he explained that detail of the plan, like he was doing now, he hesitated over his word choice. You couldn't tell if he only pretended to be confused about romantic relations, or if that was truly an area he found himself lost in.

If Thrawn noticed your snickering, he didn't respond to it, only continued to recap the plan. "We have also determined how we will expose the altered code naturally, so it does not cast suspicion on us... What was the word you used?"

"Backfire," said Eli.

"Yes. It would not due to have anyone suspect that we altered the test ourselves, or to have our concerns disregarded altogether. Thus, arranging for the maintenance crew to get a mild case of food poisoning so their performance checks are postponed to occur right before the tests will take care of that variable. At the least, they will fix the altered code and I will take the test as normal. At the most, they will report it and the commander faces expulsion."

"So..." said Eli through a yawn as he stretched. "What's left to work out, then?"

Now it was time for you and Thrawn to share a look.

"Were you not interested in involving your classmate, Arden Fey?" asked Thrawn in his soft, contemplative voice.

Eli shrugged. "Yeah. But Burdick's already got his scapegoat, his ex. So it'll be easier to keep him out of it. Whatever."

You could tell he was trying to be nonchalant. But just this morning, he had spent the entire walk between classes ranting about some new insults Arden had come up with, and how badly he wanted to show the guy up once and for all. You knew your friend wasn't feeling "whatever" about it.

"It's not a matter of ease or difficulty," Thrawn stated plainly. He had stopped pacing and was standing with hands behind his back, highlighting the broadness of his shoulders and the height of his stance. His presence seemed to fill up the whole room, and not for the first time, you were glad to be his friend and not his enemy.

"Yeah," you added in encouragement. "We just have to get creative. Find a way to make Arden a more appealing scapegoat than Burdick's ex. In fact...."

You trailed off as an idea occurred to you. You darted out of the room, surely leaving your two friends perplexed, but you would only be a second. You sprinted down the corridor toward the lifts, where a bulletin hung against the wall with fliers and pamphlets. One notice was a bit larger than the others, a promotion of an upcoming gala event to celebrate the Academy's anniversary. You ripped it off and went racing back to the boys' dorm room.

Eli had come down from the bunk and held a concerned look, probably prepared to follow you if you hadn't returned so quickly. Thrawn was still standing composed, but there was a curiosity in his eyes that made you smile.

You held up the poster in front of your chest. "What do you think the likelihood is of us playing successful matchmakers this week?"

Thrawn understood your idea almost immediately, looking down on you with a pleased smirk. It made you flush a little, to know the Chiss was impressed. You rarely had a chance to contribute good ideas when his mind worked so much faster than yours.

Eli caught on next, and he started to grin, the happiest you'd seen him in a while. His smile was infectious and you grinned back. Happy looked good on him.

"We know Eva's not shy with younger guys," you explained. "Before Burdick, she was fooling around with some intern in the med bay."

"And Arden's vain enough," added Eli. "If he thinks anyone's interested, he'll go for 'em."

"So we get him to ask her to the gala as his date...." you said.

"Burdick sees the two of them together...." said Eli.

"And realizes he can get back at his lover in another way, by pinning the sabotage on another student...." joined Thrawn.

The three of you stood together, proud and satisfied that yet another plan had finally worked out. It was almost worth the stressful studying and petty bullying and all the other unpleasant things you had to endure at this god-forsaken school, just to have fun moments like this with trusted friends.

"We should attend this gala as well," Thrawn said eventually, holding out a hand for the poster. He inspected it thoughtfully. "It is only a few days before the tests, so I hadn't planned to pay it any mind. But now...."

"Yeah, we should make sure Burdick's as jealous as we want 'im," nodded Eli.

You were secretly pleased. The plan was already a win-win, but now you would be able to go to the event yourself, too. You hadn't mentioned your desire to go to either of them before, figuring they weren't interested and not wanting to sound silly if you suggested it. But you did love dancing, and it was so very rare you got a chance to wear something other than your Imperial uniform.

"It's a dance," you noted, in case they couldn't tell by the details on the poster. "We'll need to go in pairs."

"I suppose it would make the most sense for you and Eli to go together," said Thrawn quietly.

You looked between the two, realizing both of them were flushed slightly. Eli's cheeks were dotted with pink, standing out amongst his dark brown features, while Thrawn had more of a purple tint to his face now, a color you'd never seen there before. You could feel yourself growing warm and uncomfortable as well. It was only a dance... only a way for you to enact a much more important plan... but it was the first time your trio had had to engage in anything other than platonic friendship. The balance of your group seemed to be shifting ever so slightly in this moment, and you had no way of knowing if it was for good or ill.

You cleared your throat, pushing away any feelings that might have been brewing in your chest, and instead calling focus back to the mission at hand.

"Actually, I think I'd better go with Thrawn. Whoever doesn't go with me would have to find their own date, and no offense Thrawn, but I think Eli has the better chance of asking someone else."

You hoped they hadn't noticed how hollow your voice sounded, how hard you were trying to keep yourself emotionless.

Eli was pinker than ever. "Uh, I highly doubt that..."

"You're not completely hated around here, you know," you said quickly. "Definitely not with the girls. You're not bad looking, you can be charming if you try, and you're... you know, human." You glanced at Thrawn and added again quietly, "No offense."

Thrawn shook his head. His color and demeanor had already slipped back into his usual neutral self. "No, I agree. Those are the dynamics of our peers and we must work with it. I will take you to the gala, Eli will find his own date, and all three of us will push Arden and Eva together as well. It's a good plan."

You all nodded in agreement. But there was a knot in your stomach, a nervousness you didn't quite understand. You cared very much for both Thrawn and Eli. They were your best friends, your only friends. As a group, you were bonded by your ostracism, protecting and supporting each other on your journey out of this hell-hole.

And separately, you had something special with each, too. You and Eli came from similar backgrounds, and had the same need to disconnect from your surroundings and just have a bit of fun every once in a while. The two of you had spent many late nights together, either hopping between bars, exploring the city, making each other laugh uncontrollably, or quietly sharing the honest thoughts you both buried far too deeply inside. Some nights you'd done all of the above, and returned to your dorm feeling both exhausted and renewed.

But Eli didn't always appreciate the finer things in life, and that's where you connected with Thrawn. He wasn't necessarily an optimist, but he had this way of noticing the beauty that existed everywhere around you, even in the most simple or mundane of moments. Everything had the potential to be interesting. His calm but strong presence had kept you grounded and sane throughout your studies here so far. Sometimes you would talk, other times you would simply be in the same space. And either way, you felt better about life.

You didn't exactly want your relationship with them to change. But you couldn't help but feel this gala would do just that....

Next Chapter: The Preparation >

Blueberry Path | Thrawn x reader

Cowboy Path | Eli x reader

#star wars #thrawn #eli vanto #thrawn x reader #eli vanto x reader #choose your own adventure #friendship #romance #friends to lovers #mitth'raw'nuruodo

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hermannsthumb · 4 years

Note

ooh haunted house and hayride? or maybe... haunted hayride? is that even a thing haha

3. Haunted House + 25. Hayride

from autumn fic prompts here

i am in SUCH a fall/halloween mood!!!! it’s getting chilly already where i am baby, im ready. this is loosely based on a haunted hayride attraction that was popular back in my hometown (thought it might actually be more widespread). unfortunately i was too much of a wimp to ever do it so im going off of my 15 year old sister’s account of it :/

-----------------------------------------

“If you get scared, you can hold my hand,” Newton says.

He extends his right hand out to Hermann and wriggles his fingers. Hermann turns away with a snort, tucking one of his own mittened hands into the pocket of his parka. “Mm. I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“I’m just saying,” Newton says. “I’m here if you need me.”

Hermann wonders whether Newton is being facetious, or if he’s managed to completely delude himself into thinking he’s the braver of the two of them. Because, arguably, he’s not—at least not in anything beyond the real world. (Hermann will begrudgingly admit many of Newton’s actions during the final days of the war, though incredibly foolish, were also quite brave.) Newton cowers behind his popcorn bucket when he drags Hermann to see horror films at the cinema; he shrieks at jumpscares, ghostly faces in windows, slasher killers stalking their victims; once, he watched a YouTube playthrough of some zombie video game, and showed up at Hermann’s bedroom five out of seven nights the following week to ask him to check to make sure the front door was locked, or if he heard that noise, or if Hermann was the one who left that hall light on and not an undead intruder who was probably hiding in the linen closet waiting to massacre them… “I’ll keep that in mind,” Hermann says, sarcastically.

The problem is that Newton hates being afraid of things. As a result, he feels the constant need to reaffirm to Hermann—and probably himself—that he’s not afraid of anything. It’s why the small octopus-shaped bowl on the entranceway bookcase in their flat is overflowing with movie ticket stubs from horror movies, and currently, why they’re in line for a Haunted Hayride.

“Do you realize we’re the only people above twenty years old here?” Hermann says.

“Young people know how to have fun,” Newton says with a smile. Hermann’s idea of a fun Friday night is taking a bath with a mystery novel and a glass of wine. He does not consider standing in the cold around a bunch of hormone-fueled and PDA-happy teenagers to be very fun. Newton’s added presence isn’t really helping much. “You know I worked a part time job at a haunted house when I was a teenager?”

“Did you scare people?” Hermann says.

“Nah,” Newton says. “I worked the fog machine. Hey, look, we’re up next.”

The line for the hayride has wound them through a Styrofoam-tombstone cemetery, “The Field of Terror” (dead corn stalks and angry-looking scarecrows swaying in the breeze), and now finally a small pumpkin patch. It’s too dark to see ahead where their ride will take them. “Tickets, please?” a vampire asks them in a hokey Transylvanian accent.

“Sick costume, man,” Newton says. He holds out his ticket, which has a little Jack-O-Lantern grinning away on it. Hermann does the same.

“You may…enter,” the vampire says, and steps aside with a whoosh of his cape.

“I should be a vampire for Halloween this year,” Newton says, as he helps Hermann up a few rickety wooden stairs to the tractor hitch they’ll be riding on, and then over to a terribly uncomfortable bale of hay. “But like, a cool vampire. Not a dumb Dracula one. Like Lost Boys. Did I make you watch Lost Boys?”

“Yes, Newton,” Hermann sighs. “You made me watch Lost Boys. And Lost Boys 2. And Lost Boys 3.”

“It’s insane how uncultured you were before I met you,” Newton says.

“I don’t want to talk about Lost Boys anymore,” Hermann says.

“Fine,” Newton says. He turns and begins squinting into the field ahead of them. “I wonder how this is going to go down? Like, are people going to try and drag us off? No, I don’t think that’s legal. Or maybe—”

Someone in an intensely gory zombie costume, holding a bloodstained, bladeless chainsaw, suddenly leaps out from below at Newton; Newton shrieks and lands on the wooden bed of the hitch. A group of teenagers seated a little further down from them begin laughing. “That is so uncool,” Newton says, as the zombie continues to gleefully wave their chainsaw around. “I could’ve, like, fallen off or something. I could’ve really hurt myself.”

“Get up off the bloody floor already,” Hermann sighs, and raps his cane against Newton’s boot.

Newton, to his surprise, stares at him in something like genuine hurt. Hermann feels a pang of guilt. He quickly puts on a show of rolling his eyes to offset it. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Are you alright?”

Newton dusts hay off his pumpkin-patterned sweater and sits back next to Hermann with an affronted sniff, though he does shoot a wary glance back down below. Looking for more zombies, Hermann presumes. “I’m fine,” he says. “It’s cool.”

The ride is jerky, uncomfortable, and—more likely than not—not very structurally sound. They pass through the rest of the pumpkin patch, where more scarecrows (these, animated) stalk them, and wave scythes; a large, fog-shrouded tunnel where hidden speakers play clattering chains and wails, and the occasional ghostly white hand grabs onto the edge of the tractor hitch; more zombies, more vampires, even a mad scientist’s lab, which does manage to rouse a burst of laughter from Hermann. He could imagine Newton being very much at home in it—in fact, it very nearly does resemble his half of their old Hong Kong laboratory. “I rather feel like I’m having deja-vu,” he whispers to Newton, watching a short man in a white lab coat plug wires into a monster on his dissection table.

Newton nearly jumps a mile into the air the second Hermann opens his mouth. “Gimme a warning next time!”

“Before I speak?”

“I wasn’t expecting it, okay?” Newton says.

Newton is jumpy the entire car-ride home, eyes continuously darting up into the rear view mirror, to the backseat, over at Hermann, and when they make it back to their flat, he locks the deadbolt and the chain on their front door. “Who do you think followed us?” Hermann says. “Frankenstein’s bloody monster?”

“Just taking precautions,” Newton says. He darts over to the window by their couch and peers out of it, then checks the lock on that, too.

“We live on the fourth floor,” Hermann reminds him. “Frankly, if someone manages to climb in through that, I’d be impressed. Oh, come on, Newton—” he starts, when Newton doesn’t so much as crack a smile, “Let’s put something on the telly. Whatever you’d like. We could watch one of those cooking programs you—”

“I think I’m just gonna brush my teeth and go to bed,” Newton says.

This, it turns out, is a lie. Hardly an hour later, while Hermann relaxes in bed with the mystery novel Newton so cruelly kept him from enjoying in the bath this evening, there’s a little knock on his door; in slips Newton, wearing green boxers and an oversized TU Berlin sweatshirt.

“I was wondering where that went,” Hermann remarks mildly. “Can I help you?’

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Newton says, in a very, very small voice.

Hermann smiles, and slips off his glasses. “If you’d like,” he says.

Newton shuts the light off while Hermann makes room for him. He takes happily to the left side of the bed, and even more happily to pillowing himself against Hermann’s chest, eyes fluttering shut almost immediately. “Just for tonight,” he mumbles, as Hermann strokes back his unruly hair. “I’m not scared, though. That’s not why.”

“Of course you’re not,” Hermann tells him kindly. Truthfully, this is why Hermann can put up with the annoyances of double-checking the locks, shutting linen closet lights off, assuring Newton at four in the morning he hasn’t heard a thing: it almost always ends with Newton in his bed, which Hermann doesn’t think can be termed an annoyance in any universe.

“I just thought you might be,” Newton says.

“How terribly considerate of you,” Hermann says.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 38

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: a tiny smut scene, LOTS of discussions between them. btw he’s about to leave for his trip soon and then ill also skip a few weeks. was this chapter okay?

here are the ‘requests’ i added in this chapter!

Chapter 38 : His chapter

NIALL

I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy with a steady girlfriend, or with a girl at all, so when she proposed to go ice skating, i couldn't say no. I was leaving soon and I wanted to spend as much time with her as i could, which resulted in basically being 24/7 together. I even followed her home when she needed more clothes or something and we also took our showers together. The only times we weren't together were pretty much only when we needed to use the bathroom but even then, sometimes, i would end up just doing nothing while waiting for her. I wanted to say I thought our commitment was too much and that our behavior was over the top but if I wanted to be honest, I didn't give a fuck about what it looked like. I wanted to be with her, so why should I stop myself?

"Can you even skate?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as she put her skates on.

She chuckled and I saw a cloud coming out of her mouth. It was cold, colder than we were used to for this time of the year, but she didn't seem to mind. She pulled on her beanie to hide her ears better and it made me smile a bit.

"Not really." she admitted with a shrug. "You know I suck at sports. But I thought it could be fun."

She got up and I did the same, searching for her hand to hold it in mine. We were both wearing gloves and I tried to squeeze her fingers as she pulled me closer to the rink. A bunch of people were already there and I was a bit annoyed to realize they were still playing Christmas songs even if we were in the middle of january. Did they want to kill us?

"Christmas songs never seem to end." I pointed out, groaning a bit and making her laugh.

"Oh come on, you love Christmas songs!"

"I'm overdosing." I just replied before slowly putting one foot on the ice.

Olivia was holding my hand a lot tighter and I realized she was trying to keep her balance. We ended up skating slowly together and the more time passed, the easiest it seemed to get. After a while, we were just skating slowly, still holding hands and enjoying the day. I noticed she kept glancing at our hands together and it sort of amused me.

"What?" I just asked, making her look up at me.

"Oh nothing." she replied with a shrug, her lips still curled.

"Does that bother you?"

I moved our hands up a bit to show her our intertwined fingers and she just shrugged again, shaking her head.

"No, no, I thought it would bother you though." she explained as I let our hands fall back between us. "You know, PDA and all."

"You know i'm not trying to hide you, right?"

Her smile turned into a soft one and she looked up in my eyes, glancing from time to time in front of herself to be sure not to trip. It made me want to kiss her.

"I know Niall, i've been around you long enough to know you just want to save this, to keep it private, and i'm okay with it, you know I am."

It was incredible how easily she understood me and I knew it was partially because we grew up together but I couldn't help but think it was also because our personalities just fitted so well together that we could just connect and understand each other. I was about to answer when she shrugged once again.

"As long as it's not because you're ashamed of me."

Her words hit me hard and I felt my heart jump in my chest from thinking she could believe that for one second.

"No way, no." I just let out, not really sure how to prove otherwise. "Look."

Without an other word, I brought her hand up, extending both our arms up in the air to show our intertwined fingers. She laughed but I could see her eyes sparkling and somehow, I loved it. She chuckled a bit and it's only when she almost tripped on her feet that I brought our hands down, trying to help her get her balance back.

"It's okay, Niall, you didn't have to do that, I trust you." she explained even if I could swear that my reaction reassured her. "Besides, you did sing for me in front of a public. That's hard to forget."

"Oh because you're trying to?" I joked, raising my eyebrows and pretending to be insulted. "That was unforgettable."

We had slowed down without realizing it and we finally stopped skating completely. She put herself in front of me, still holding my hand tight, and I sent her an amused smile as people kept moving around us.

"It really was the best moment of my life." she confessed so low that I barely heard. "Totally unforgettable."

I smiled more and bent down to kiss her but we both jumped when we heard someone say her name very close to us. She turned her head quickly before our lips could touch and her expression changed into a surprised one. I was a bit bothered that someone would disturb us but it quickly turned into annoyance when I realized who it was.

"Rian?"

I was not sure if she was happy or just surprised but when he hugged her, I suddenly felt out of place. I was pretty sure I was dating Holly when she started dating Rian and I remember being annoyed back then, too. He was too kind, too caring, too perfect.

"Oh my god, Rian, I haven't seen you since..."

He pulled away from her and laughed with a shrug.

"Yea I can't remember either, how have you been?"

They started chatting for a while and the fact that he ignored me didn't get unnoticed. I waited an other minute and finally coughed to get their attention before looking at him and sending him a fake smile. I was pretty sure he could read in my face that I wasn't super happy to see him but he didn't say anything.

"Horan, hey mate!"

He showed his hand and reluctantly, I slapped in it.

"Wherever Olivia is, Niall isn't too far." he added with a chuckle. "That's what everyone always said."

I held my breath at his words, a bit shocked that I hadn't heard that before even if apparently, all of our friends said it. It was even more surprising knowing that we were both taken yet our friends still took time to mention how close we were.

"I see it's still true!" he continued, realizing we weren't going to comment on it. "Still as close as you used to be?"

"Closer." I replied, searching for Liv's hand with mine and grabbing her fingers.

I saw his gaze fall on our hands and then he looked up with a cheeky smile. For some odd reason, I wanted him to lose that stupid smile.

"So it finally happened? I should have bet money on that." he joked, laughing a bit before my girlfriend joined it.

"Yea, it did." she just said before changing the subject. "What are you doing in London?"

"Oh, I moved here! It's been a few years actually."

He kept talking about what he had been up to in the past few years and I just turned to Olivia. She was staring at him, listening carefully to his words and laughing at his jokes, and my jealousy seemed to falter slightly. I tried remembering how i felt for her back then but all I could see in my mind was the first time i saw them kiss each other. I hadn't been jealous the way I was jealous now but it was still jealousy. Probably jealousy from seeing her happy with someone else than me, or jealousy because I knew she wouldn't be able to spend as much time with me as she used to. Either way, it was bad, and I had decided to focus on Holly instead.

"We should go."

I had no idea why I had said that but they both stopped everything and turned to me before Liv sent him a smile.

"He's right, it's getting late."

"Hey, give me your phone, i'll add my number and maybe we can hang out?"

Without thinking, I squeezed her fingers tighter as she handed him her phone with her free hand. It seemed to take forever until he gave it back and he got closer to kiss her cheek before shaking my hand again but it's only when he left that my grip on her fingers loosened a bit. I turned to look at her and I thought she would make a comment but she simply smiled at me and licked her lips.

"Let's go home, i'm dying for a cup of hot chocolate."

"Yea, good idea."

We left the rink and put our boots back before walking to my car in silence. I had the feeling I made things tensed between us but in the middle of the ride, she turned to look at me with an amused smile. I glanced at her and frowned but didn't have time to ask anything.

"Niall, I have no intention on seeing Rian again."

I shrugged, trying to show that I didn't mind, but it made her laugh.

"I noticed, you know." she started, making me frown more. "How you reacted around him. Even back then, when we were younger, you couldn't stand him."

"He was always sort of an arrogant prick." I mumbled with a groan, making her laugh even more. "I know he treated you well, and he really cared for you, and he was nice to you... but he was still an arrogant prick. And he still is."

This time, she laughed louder and it made me grimace but I couldn't help but enjoy her happiness and amusement.

"I give you that, he really is." she added before getting more serious. "And you clearly claimed your territory." she half-joked.

"I'm sorry, Liv." I apologized as I parked the car in my driveway.

I sighed as I stopped the car and we got out of it. We walked to the door and I unlocked it and after we put our skates and coats away, she followed me to the kitchen, sitting on the counter as she looked at me preparing us two cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows. She was swinging her legs and I noticed how her thick socks were rolled over her sweatpants. It made me smile more but I decided to focus on our drinks.

"You lost your virginity to this guy, didn't you?"

I asked but I already knew. Someone had told me about it and I had waited for her to share this information with me but she never had. I couldn't blame her, though, since I hadn't told her when and to whom I lost my virginity either. She wasn't answering and I finally looked up only to see her looking down at her hands as she was playing with her fingers nervously.

"Liv?"

"You were dating Holly and... Willie told me you had sex with her." she shrugged, still avoiding my eyes, and it made me sad. "I don't know, I guess I always had the dream that we'd do it together, so it sort of hurt me really bad."

"I'm so... so sorry, Olivia."

"No!" she let out, looking up at me and sending me a sad smile. "No, Niall, don't apologize, it's not your fault and you didn't owe me anything. I guess I just wanted to get rid of it too."

"Get rid of what?" I asked, bringing her her mug and standing in front of her as she took a sip.

"My virginity."

I stared at her for a few more seconds in silence as she drank more, making a grimace as she burned her tongue. I watched as she pushed a lock of her messy hair behind her ear and took a step closer, putting my untouched hot beverage on the counter. It caught her attention and she looked in my eyes again.

"The next day I saw Rian at a party and... yea, I invited him home." she admitted, shrugging a shoulder. "And we did it. And then we started dating."

I didn't know what to tell her and I just stared at her again, wishing I could take away all the pain I could see in her eyes. I regretted so many things yet I knew that apologizing wouldn't change anything and would probably just make her feel guilty so I just took an other step closer and put my hands on her thighs. My palms brushed on her pants and reached her waist as I tilted my chin up to look into her eyes.

"Do you wanna watch a movie before bed."

She sent me a fond smile and nodded slightly as her eyes moved from mine to my lips. I pulled her closer, her ass sliding on the counter and making her chuckle. She brought her free hand on my cheek, her palm very warm since she had held her mug for a while, and i smiled at her. She bent down slightly and our lips met as her fingers slipped down on my neck. Neither of us deepened the kiss. She just brushed her parted lips gently and very slowly against mine as we stared at each other.

"I'm a bit obsessed with you." she admitted in a low tone, the right corner of her mouth moving up. "I'd literally lock myself in your room with you and fuck for days."

I laughed against her mouth and nibbled gently on her bottom lip, making her smile more.

"Yea?"

"Oh yea."

I pulled away a bit and let my eyes fall on her lips as I felt her thumb rub softly on the skin of my neck. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me even closer to her.

"Don't tempt me."

She started laughing and kissed me again before loosening her grip and letting me move back. She put her mug on the counter and got down before following me to the living room. We remained silent as I turned the tv on and the lights off and she brought a blanket on the couch. We ended up cuddling under it while a Christmas movie was playing. She was leaning against my chest, between my legs, and I let my fingertips brush gently on her arm, giving her goosebumps. I felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be and nothing else seemed to matter.

She tilted her head up and I looked down, sending her an amused smile before she sent me a fond one. I moved closer and kissed her lips again. Slowly, she turned around and got on her knees, her mouth still attached to mine, as i let my arms rest on the back of the couch. She deepened the kiss and moved her knees on each sides on my thighs to straddle me. I gripped the couch hard with both hands when she pressed her inner thighs against my cock and groaned in her mouth. I couldn't stop thinking about her wet pussy rubbing against me and drenching her panties and I finally brought my hands to her face to cup her cheeks, pushing my back away to sit straight.

"You're such a little tease." I whispered with a smirk as my hands slid down on her sides to reach her waist.

I tried to slip my hand past the waistband of her sweatpants but she grabbed it and brought it back to her waist, allowing her lips to leave mine but still remaining very close.

"Don't move." she whispered as she started rubbing herself quickly over me.

I could feel my dick swell against her and I whimpered very low when her pussy ground against my tip. The friction was becoming too much and I started feeling an orgasm form in the pit of my stomach. It was unbelievable how quickly she could make me cum and I brought my hands to the bottom of her shirt, moving it up over her breasts. I reached in her back to take her bra off and grimaced in annoyance when I realized I was struggling. I was too horny and couldn't focus on anything else but how she moved over me. She chuckled and stopped moving to help me take her bra off and my eyes immediately fell on her breasts. I ran my hands up on her sides before grabbing both gently. She started moving again and I reached for one of her nipples with my mouth, running my tongue on it before moving to the other.

"Fuck, i'm so close." she whimpered, running her hand in my hair and pulling on it slightly. "Oh.. oh god."

My hands gripped her waist tighter, my fingers sinking on her skin, as I helped her move over me.

"Do it petal, cum for me, soak your panties just for me." i let out low in a husky voice.

Her grip tightened in my hair and she started shaking over me. I watched her for half a second but couldn't stop myself from reaching in her panties. Quickly, I rubbed her clit through her orgasm, making her eyebrows raise and her lips part. The sight was beautiful and the feeling even better. She came on my fingers and the whole thing was so sexy I almost got an orgasm too. She bent down to kiss me but I quickly put my fingers in her mouth and watched her suck on them, taking them completely in her mouth, as she grabbed my hand with both of hers.

"Dry humping has never been so hot." I admitted with a laugh as she took my fingers out of her mouth with a low 'pop'.

I let my fingers slide between her breasts, leaving a wet trace on my way as my eyes followed them down.

"You drive me fucking insane." I admitted before looking back up at her.

"Where do you want to cum?" she just asked, ignoring my comment, and without thinking, I moved my eyes on her breasts again.

My cock was painfully hard by then and when she got off of me, I groaned, wanting to just pull her back on top of me. She held her hand out and I took it before getting up too. She tilted her head and the smirk she sent me almost made me cum right then. Slowly, she got on her knees and unzipped my pants before quickly pulling them down and bringing my boxers with them. She took my cock with both her hands and started stroking it as I watched her but it didn't take me long to be close to my orgasm again.

"Fuck..." she let go of me and I started jerking myself off as she moved up on her knees, bringing her upper body closer to me. "I've been thinking about cumming all over your tits a lot recently."

She bit her bottom lip and cupped her breasts for me, tilting her head again and raising her eyebrows up.

"Please do it, i'm really craving your cum right now." she whispered. "I really want it all over me."

She looked so innocent and vulnerable that one of my legs started shaking as I came on her breasts. I groaned when I got down from my high, rubbing the tip of my cock in my cum to spread it on her more but focusing on her nipples. The feeling was amazing and I could swear I heard her whimper too. I was panting and my whole body was throbbing but I just closed my eyes, trying to get my heartbeats back to a normal pace.

"Come here." I said, bending down a bit to help her up before kissing her gently. "I'm really thinking about your proposition. Locking ourselves in here for weeks seems like the only solution."

She laughed against my mouth and i did the same, not really sure how long we spent just kissing each other. All I knew was that the movie was over when we pulled away and I took a step back.

"You need a shower." I pointed out, glancing down at her breasts and making her chuckle. "And so do i."

We cleaned quickly in very warm stream of water and ended up in bed again, the lights off and the room in complete silence. There were so many things rushing to my brain and even if I knew we had so many things to talk about, the only thing that came out of my mouth surprised me probably more than it surprised her.

"Did you love him?" I asked low, my hands behind my head.

I tensed at my own words and stopped moving but I could swear she could hear my heartbeats echo against my chest.

"Who, Rian?" she asked, turning her head my way. "No, not really. I mean, I liked him a lot, but it was nothing like love."

I just nodded but remained silent, feeling stupid for even asking. I didn't know why I had been so jealous earlier, when we saw him, and I would never stop her from seeing her friends, but I couldn't pretend I wasn't happy that she had no intention on calling him.

"What about you?" she asked in a soft voice, turning her whole body my way. "Which of your ex girlfriends did you love?"

My lips curled into a smile and I closed my eyes for a few seconds before doing what she did and turning my body her way to face her. I blinked a few times to see her better as my eyes got used to the darkness and I could read in her face that my answer was making her nervous. I brought my hand up and moved a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"I thought I loved a few of them.. very few of them." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up as my eyes roamed on her. "But then I admitted to myself that I loved you and it made me realize that what I felt before, for the other girls... it wasn't love. Nothing felt half as good, intense and real as what I feel for you."

Her eyes seemed to flutter and she moved closer to press her lips against mine slowly and softly. I moved my arm around her waist and kissed her back very gently.

"Now that I think about it, I wish I would have lost my virginity with you." I confessed again in a whisper. "We were close, the closest I ever was with a friend, and I trusted you more than I trusted any of the girls I dated. We should have lost our virginity together, Olivia. I'm sorry I didn't realize that before."

She didn't answer but I knew she felt the same. It was too late, though, and it's impossible to go back in the past but at least, she knew I regretted it. If I had known back then what I know now, things would have been different. It was stupid to dwell on the past but it was important for me to tell her that I was sorry, even if I couldn't change it.

I kissed her again, my lips brushing against hers and feeling her warm breath on my skin. I had never felt like that with anybody and it was scary to think it was the first and last person i'd feel that way for but I knew it was true.

"I want to spend my life with you."

The way she had whispered made me shiver but her words made something jump in my chest. She was literally telling me she wanted me to be the last lover she'd ever have and the thought suddenly scared me. I could feel my heart thump hard and fast in my chest and I swallowed, unsure of what my answer should be. I didn't want to tell her that life isn't easy, that things and people change, and that we had no idea where we'd be in a year, even if it was exactly what I thought, because i didn't want to hurt her. Not again. I had hurt her enough before, she deserved to be happy now and today had been too perfect to end up on a bad note by stating ugly facts and inevitable truths. Plus, I loved her more than anything but I was still 22, and life was long and tough.

I pulled her closer to me and stared in her eyes for a few seconds, telling myself that there was no way I was ever going to lie to her, and just decided on telling her how I felt and what I was totally sure about.

"I love you, Olivia." I whispered back. "I want you to know that no matter what happens, I will always love you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfic #amc

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evietheninja · 4 years

Text

It’s on site, Bitch.

Side story to a fan fic my friends and I are writing. They wanted a fight, they got one lmao.

New Message!

Pikachu 2.0: Yo, what do you guys think of this?

Evie glances down at her phone, reading the message out loud to the guys accompanying her in the living room. Attached to the message is a poster for an event happening tonight. "2000s night huh?" Kiri asks sitting on the couch. "Sounds MANLY!" He practically yells, excitement in his voice. "When was the last time we all went out anyway?" He asks, looking over at Bakugo and Evie who are sitting on the floor. "It's been some time, that's for sure." Evie says, closing the picture and typing out a reply.

Glowstick: Sounds like fun!

PoisonIvyWHO?: CAN WE GET READY TOGETHER LIKE WE USED TO??

BigTittieGothGF: YESSS

Evie laughs as she looks over to the boys who are staring down at their screens as the messages come through. "What the fuck babe, you kicking us out?" Bakugo asks, a smirk across his face. "No, dumbass. I may be getting ready at someone elses place." She says looking back down at her phone.

PoisonIvyWHO?: Evie's?

BigTittieGothGF: YEah! Evie, you okay with that?

BakuBITCH: Really? We JUST got this fucking place and you're already kicking us out?

DaddyShark: That's not very manly of you guys.

Glowstick: Kiri.. We're not men..

Kiri laughs. "Why the fuck are you texting me that I'M RIGHT HERE." Evie and Bakugo laugh. "You fucking texted us instead of SAYING IT." She says, leaning on Bakugo as she laughed.

PoisonIvyWho: I'll be there in 20.

BigTittieGothGF: Too bad, Bakugo. We're already going. Get whatever ur wearing and GO TO DENKI'S

Pikachu2.0: Yeah... Cal already told me you guys were getting kicked. Sorry lmaoo

Bakugo rolls his eyes. "Well FUCK Kiri, I guess we're getting kicked out of our own place." He says, standing up. "Let's go pick what we're gonna wear and get out of here before the girls get here. I'm not trying to fight with Cal when she gets here, and lord knows Nina will tell me some shit and they're gonna piss me the hell off before the night even starts." Bakugo finishes, holding out a hand to help Evie up. She laughs, making a loud HUMPH as she gets up. "Babe, seriously suck it up stop being such a baby." She says, laughing.

"Shut the hell up, dumbass. I'll fight your ass too." He says, pulling her in for a kiss. "UGH GET A ROOOOOMMMMM" Kiri says, tossing a ketchup packet at them. "Oh my GOD Suki when did we adopt a CHILD?" Evie laughed pulling away from Bakugo. She picks the ketchup packet up and throws it back, casuing Kiri to swat at it. It hits the wall, splattering. "BRO WHAT THE FUCK" Bakugo yells, walking over to Kiri and grabbing him. "BRO SHE FUCKIN THREW AT ME WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?" Kiri yelled back, attempting to put Bakugo in a headlock.

Evie takes her phone and snaps a picture, sending it to the group chat.

Glowstick: Alright, who had two weeks?

PoisonIvyWho?: ME BEECH RUN ME MY MONEEEEYYY

Glowstick: *Paid PoisonIvyWHO? $20*

BigTittieGothGF: *Paid PoisonIvyWHO? $20*

Pikachu2.0: *Paid PoisonIvyWHO? $20*

BigTittieGothGF: Here's Shota's piece.

BigTittieGothGF: *Paid PoisonIvyWHO? $20*

PoisongIvyWHO: HELL YEAH IM GETTIN FUUUCKED TONIGHT!!

Pikachu2.0: You bet your ass you are. ;)

Glowstick: BROOOO

Evie laughed, watching the boys continue to wrestle. "Damn a little less clothing and I'd be questioning if I was just a cover up." She says, walking over to the hall towards her and Bakugo's room. Eventually, she heard the boys stop and she assumed one of them looked at their phone, because next thing she knew the boys were at the doorway, glaring at her.

"What?" Evie said, looking between the boys. "You fucking bet on us?" Bakugo says, his hands sparking lightly. "Hey, calm down. I wasn’t the ONLY one who bet. Even fucking Aizawa was in on it! You can't put that on me alone." She says, keeping her distance. "What were the lengths of time?" Kiri asks, genuinely curious. "Uh, Cal said 2 weeks, Ni said a week, Aizawa said an hour, Denki said 3 days." She says. "And YOU?" Bakugo asks. "Me? I gave you guys the benefit of the doubt and said a month. But nooooo." She says laughing. "ANYWAY. You two need to get the hell out.” She says, pushing the boys out of the room. “Wait, dumbass! I kind of need clothes to wear.” Bakugo says, pushing past her to get into the closet inside their room. Kiri laughs and walks over to his room to get some clothes to change into.

Bakugo packed a WHOLE ASS BAG of clothes, a few shirts and a couple pairs of jeans because he wanted to make sure he looked really good. Kiri did just about the same, a whole backpack with clothes inside. What the fuck? Are they spending the night? Why the fuck. Evie laughed lightly as they made their way to the door. They may be men, but god DAMN they take forever to get ready.

“Alright, we’ll be at Denki’s. Text me if you need anything.” Bakugo says, planting quick peck on Evie’s lips before leaving. “:Yeah yeah, have fun I’ll let you know when we leave.” She says as she opens the door. “Wha- why the fuck are you guys taking backpacks? I thought you guys were going just to change not spend the week there.” Nina’s voice echos through the hall after seeing the boys. “FUUUCK I thought we’d be gone by the time you guys got here.” Bakugo complains, nodding at Cal and Nina as they enter the apartment. “Shut the hell up, boom boom boy.” Cal says walking past him. He tugs at her sprout on her head, causing her to yelp. “Stop it, asshole! i’ll get Frank on your ass.” She warns, rubbing her sprout as he lets go.

“Who the fuck is Frank:?” He asks, Kirishima laughing next to him. “None of your business, leave! You take any longer and we’ll be fucking late.” Nina says, closing the door as they walk in. “I thought we’d never get rid of them.” They joke as they smile and hug Evie. Cal jumps onto them, laughing and giggling as they regain themselves.

The next hour and a half consists of the trio getting dressed, comparing outfits and making sure they looked really good for the night ahead. Cal is wearing a green lace bralette, with gloves to match. Shes got a tight black skirt, with thigh high stockings with guarders with heels. Her hair is down and tame, the black skirt and green top complimenting her every feature. Nina is wearing a black and white cheetah print tube top, with leather shorts, thigh high platform boots with her chains rearranged in a choker fashion, with a loop in the middle for an attachable leash, her mullet slick back. Evie is wearing a green long sleeve crop top that ties around her stomach, with a deep v cut, ripped skinny jeans and thigh high heel boots. Her hair is half up, the other half tamed beautifully to compliment the outfit. She puts on her favorite black choker with a silver heart in the middle. She only wears it when she wants Bakugo to replace it with his hand, which she was sure he would do later.

The group looks at each others outfits, gushing on how ridiculously good they looked. After a very long photo shoot, the group locks up the apartment and heads out. They meet up at the club, excited to get the night started. They are (not surprisingly) the first ones to make it. They stand around, waiting to hear from their significant other’s and Kirishima. Denki, Bakugo and Kirishima show up next, Denki walking up dressed from head to toe in black, a silver chain on his belt loops and black and silver jewelry complimenting his outfit. Kirishima has on red cargo shorts, a white t shirt on with a windbreaker jacket that says “Riot” in red letters on the back. Bakugo is in black jeans with an orange tee shirt, with orange converse to match and a black blazer. He, for once, slicked his hair back and hot DAMN he looked good to Evie. Cal and Evie couldn’t help but gawk over their men as Aizawa finally made his way to the group. Aizawa is dressed in a grey v neck t-shirt, skinny jeans, a loose fitting leather jacket with his scarf covering his neck as it always does. His hair is half up in a bun on the back of his head. He probably looks the most comfortable than every one in the group.

They gather in their group, Denki pulling Cal closer as he looks her up and down. Bakugo smirks as he watches Evie approach him, eyeing her figure. “You... you are SO lucky we didn’t get ready at the same place.” He growls as he throws an arm over her. “We would’ve never made it to this damn club.” He finishes, hearing Denki and Kirishima laugh in agreement. “I wouldn’t have heard the end of it.” Kiri says under his breath. They laugh and enter the club.

After a few drinks, dedicating drinks to their accomplishments ranging from graduating college and getting their own places, to them just being happy they were all finally getting to hang out. Feeling the light buzz, Evie urges Bakugo to go out and dance with her. He complains, although in actuality, she knew he loved to dance with her, able to show the girl he was with.

Cal and Denki were laughing and talking amongst themselves for a bit before finally heading out to the dance floor. Lets be honest, they were only a few drinks away from starting their dance battles, and everyone for once was ready for it.

Aizawa and Nina stood close together, Nina dancing to the music while Aizawa watched, almost entranced by her movements. God, the way he looked at her, the way he undressed her with his eyes. Anyone who’d watched them grew jealous of the love they had for each other. Every so often, he would pull them in and says something that would physically cause Nina to shudder. It always entertained Evie. She’d always laugh watching the way just words would make Nina squirm.

Evie looked up at Bakugo, urging him again. He laughed and nodded over to Kiri, inviting him to dance with them. Many people questioned the relationship they shared, were they all in some kind of relationship? Was it just as simple as Bakugo and Evie were just comfortable with Kiri? Pretty much. Nither Evie nor Bakugo saw Kiri in that way, and Kiri just really loved to dance.

The trio makes their way to the dance floor as the music bumped through the speakers. Evie let the music take over, feeling Bakugo behind her, molding to her body with ease. Kiri does the same, only in front. Nina had stopped dancing for a sec to watch her friends dance, and smirked at the three. They knew Bakugo wouldn’t hold his composure long, and would claim Evie in about a song or two.

The song Goodies bumped through the speakers, with it being Evie’s favorite song, she danced harder feeling the boys match her tempo. Every so often, because Bakugo couldn’t make his mind up about how comfortable he was with Evie facing either towards or away from him, he would turn her. She laughed, feeling the drinks work their way into her system, giving her a good feeling.

The song Me&U begins to bump through the speakers. Evie starts to sing the lyrics, the front of her body facing Kiri. Kiri begins to sing as well, looking Evie in the eyes while doing so. Bakugo takes notice, and whips her around, glaring at Kiri from over Evie. She laughs, noticing Kiri pick up his hands in apology and decides that’s the time for him to go find another dance partner. Evie grabs Bakugo by his cheeks, forcing him to look at her as they grind. For a while, it feels like they’re the only two in the room.

Sweat drips, their bodies bumping to the sound of the base. Evie smiles up at Bakugo and kisses him. Then, she jumps, feeling a cold, wet feeling run down her back. She whips around, seeing Ururaka looking her up and down smirking. “Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” She says smugly in a monotone voice over the music. Ururaka then turns her attention to Bakugo, her smile turning sweet. “Hey, Kachan, how are you?” She says, taking a step closer to him almost pushing Evie out of the way. Evie looks to her left, seeing Nina already making their way to her with Cal close behind, a worried Denki behind them and Aizawa looking from the distance. “Don’t fucking call me that, one. And two we’re in the middle of something, so if you could, you know, fuck off that’d be great.” Bakugo says, bumping her shoulder and returning to Evie.

“Oh, you’d rather be with that? HA, okay.” Ururaka says, scoffing as she looks at the couple. “Listen here you broke ass bit-” Cal starts, ready to lunge at her. Nina stops her for a second, looking Ururaka up and down before speaking. “Is there a problem?” they ask. “Oh, can’t fight your own fights?” Ururaka says, turning her attention back to Evie. “Oh, I can fucking fight alright.” Evie says, rolling up her sleeves and removing her earrings. “Hold these baby please.” She says, handing them to Bakugo who takes them and places them in his pocket, taking a step back to watch Evie do what she did best. “Oh you got the wrong bitch” Nina says, cracking their knuckles.

Ururaka pushes Evie. She stumbles lightly, and recovers quickly. Ururaka looks at her in confusion. She’s...not floating. Evie looks over to a golden eyed, floating haired Aizawa, who’d activated his quirk, disabling Ururaka’s. Evie smirked, returning her attention to Ururaka who was already on the floor due to Nina using her chains to restrain her, and Cal straight out kicking her on the ground. She laughed, bending down as Cal got in another kick. No one around noticed, nor cared about what was happening to Ururaka.

“Oh honey, you should’ve known better.” Evie says in the sweetest way possible as she stands and gets her kick in. Nina unrestrains her and they step over her, turning to return to Aizawa when Ururaka gets up, grabs Nina by the shoulder and throws a punch. Before the punch even makes contact, Cal jumps on her, throwing punches as Ururaka turns her attention to her. Somehow, she manages to get a hold of Cal’s sprout on her head, making her even more mad. Evie grabs Ururaka by the hair, pulling her off of Cal and punching her a couple times before Bakugo steps in. He grabs Evie, stopping her from injuring her anymore. “It’s not worth it, babe.” He says, attempting to calm her down.

“She isnt worth it!” Ururaka screams, getting up because this girl STILL hadn't had enough. Nina uses her chains to grab Ururaka, throwing her to the ground and planting a platformed boot on her chest. They lean in real close, speaking loud enough for her to hear. “Listen here, bitch. YOU, are a piece of shit, and if we EVER see you trying it again, it’s on site.” They say before getting up. Cal walks up, kicking her down as she tries to sit up. “Oh, the 99 cent store called, they want their dress back.” Cal says, spitting on her before leaving as well. Evie calms herself enough for Bakugo to let her go, and they turn back once more before laughing and walking off.

Before any kind of authorities are called, the group leaves the club, making their way to their favorite after club place, a 24/7 boba tea place just down the street from the club, They order drinks, and all make another toast to a great night. “I’ve really been wanting to do that shit since the situation.” Cal says, beaming. “Same” Nina says, clinking cups and laughing. Bakugo walks over to the table, with drinks in one hand and his phone in the other. The fact they’d forgotten Kiri was fucking hilarious to him. Kiri slams through the door, asking about what’d happened. He was SO upset he’d missed it.

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chimchimsauce · 5 years

Text

Sanctuary (16 FINAL)

YN is a young girl, bright and ambitious, but due to her busy schedule, she’s been unable to make any real friends. When an ad for Saint Mary’s Sanctuary catches her attention, she never expected her life to be changed by a certain hybrid named Jimin.

Tag List: @feed-my-geek-soul @raspberryhaterade@dinorahrodriguez @loriosborne @majestikblue @younginfluencernut-blog @jiminotopia @yady24 @amoretti-rossetti @j-hofe7 @scared-money @alina-foxy @catwhipes @cloudyfelix @justfollowbacon @chims-kookies @hoodiebangtan@xanny91 @catarina-catycaty @lewd-lemon @yaseminflames @lulanii @jeonsdear @omgsasusakulover @let-fred-live @perfectlyfangirling @daddyjoonie @meganleafmusic @okayjinmin @blueskys-brightstars @boononx @bubblefishrainbow @scamanderbeasts @cjisluckycharm @artsy-gingersnap @yoongi-bias @miraiikki @ccocorosie @skyebloodhood @mixedfandxms @vixsynsblog @mypurplelamp @acupoftaewithsuga @xthefuckerysquaredx @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d @young-yellkie @yoonjinbabe @animedreamscometrue @thefutureiswithyou @2seokkyo @x-josii-x @childish—soul @lilliaflurr @daddyvernon @jiminslye @moostachoaway @beatstotheheart @im-a-percy @dreadity @lovesickpjms @nanie5 @killcomet @certainuncertainty11 @sunkissedhobi

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

By the time YN gathers her wits enough to climb back upright and chase after him, the wolf is long done, wet, icy footprints all that are left of him. Jimin hadn’t closed the door when he ran blindly into the night, giving YN no barrier in chasing after him.

“Jimin!” she shouts into the night, eyes wide and panicked, breath turning into smoke as soon as it leaves her lips, “Park Jimin!”

The night is silent, the cold chilling her exposed skin to the bone. She hardly notices at all, the sound of the complete silence deadening all her senses. She breaks into a run down the street, picking a random direction and hoping that she’ll be able to catch up to him.

YN isn’t sure how long she’s out in the freezing temperatures, calling for Jimin fruitlessly, but she almost jumps out of her skin when a pair of warm hands land on her shoulder. With a startled scream, YN pulls away, turning towards her apparent attacker. Kim Taehyung stands there, hands raised in a sign of good intent.

“Woah, woah, woah, YN! Calm down, it’s just me,”

“Taehyung?” YN asks, beginning to notice the chill finally as the man snaps her out of her hysteria, “What are you doing here?”

Her friend looks bewildered.

“What am I doing here? I rushed over as soon as our call cut off and - but nevermind, let’s get you inside! It’s literally snowing out here and you’re practically wearing nothing. Your lips are blue,”

Gently, Taehyung leads her back to her house, her front door standing open and small drifts of snow taking up space in the doorway. The man kicks out what he can with the sole of his boot, shutting the door while YN stands shivering right beside her couch.

“Jesus, YN, what happened? Why are you running around like a madwoman in the middle of winter? Where’s Jimin?”

Almost instantly, the girl collapses into the startled Taehyung’s arms, tears slipping down her freezing cheeks and stinging as she desperately attempts to draw breaths in. Her body isn’t listening to her it seems, as she continues to cry loudly, clinging onto Taehyung like a lifeline.

Although he’s confused and slightly frightened, Taehyung holds the girls closely, patting her gently like he’s seen in the movies. When her cries finally calm down slightly, morphing into ugly hiccups, her leads her to the plush sofa, sitting her down gently and tossing the throw she keeps on the furniture over her goosebumped legs, rubbing them quickly over the fleece.

YN rubs at her temple, a headache already making herself from her sudden fit.

“What happened, YN? What’s going on?”

“I - Jimin - he,” she pauses, sucking in a large gulp of air and taking several deep, slow breaths, “I had Jimin soaking in ice water when you called me. I slipped away to answer you, and then we had our conversation. But he must have slipped out of the water, hormones or whatever, and then the next thing I knew he was hugging me from behind. I was startled, and I dropped and broke my phone,”

The girl grows quiet for a moment, as if she’s processing her story as if she wasn’t the one who was telling it.

“I suggested your solution. It was dumb, I was dumb, but I was frightened of him. You frightened me with all of your possibilities because it seemed like things were going as you said they would . . . that maybe I would wake up one day in a vice grip I couldn’t escape from. But I should have known better. I should have known better,”

She’s shaking herself, arguing with herself it seems.

“You don’t him, Taehyung. I do. I know Jimin. I know he wouldn’t have done anything. I knew, really I did. But I was afraid, so I asked him. You should have seen his face. You should have seen it, Taehyung!”

She’s yelling now, anguish bubbling to the surface.

“He looked so hurt. So broken! Worse than he ever looked when he talked about his past, worse than when we broke him out of Saint Mary’s, worse than I’ve ever seen! I didn’t know someone could look so . . . so . . . defeated. Like he had his heart ripped out. It was me who made him feel that way, me! I’m the monster here, Tae!” Another sob, short, like she’s grasping for breath in the middle of drowning, “Because he was waiting for me! He sat there and bawled his eyes out talking about all these hopes and wishes I didn’t know he even had, hopes and wishes that all had something to do with me. I hurt him. I hurt him because I couldn’t even say anything as he bared his soul, as he confessed he was in love with me, Taehyung. I couldn’t even say anything, just say there uselessly, and now he’s gone into the wild in nothing but a damp shirt! He doesn’t even have shoes!” She wailing now.

On the other side of the couch, Taehyung sits with an uneasy feeling in his stomach, guilt flaring up inside of him.

“I’m so sorry,” he says, throat dry and eyes burning.

“It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but mine! I did all of this!”

“Do you love him?” Taehyung asks quietly.

“What?” she asks with a sniff.

“Do you love him?” Tae repeats, leaning forward and searching her red eyes.

“I - I can’t love him, Tae! I can’t! We’re - it would never work. He’s not human, Taehyung. We could never have a future together. I haven’t even let myself think about it. A hopeless pipedream,”

“You’re an idiot, YN. An actual idiot,” the man says harshly.

“What?” she asks, not expecting the sudden change in his tone.

“Jimin is just as human as you and me. He bleeds the same way, he cries the same way, his soul is every bit as legitimate as mine or yours. The only thing that makes us different is that foolhardy scientists with a god complex did torturous experiments on his ancestors, that his senses are heightened, that he has to go through this heat every time the first of the year rolls around. If you’ve been holding out on loving him because you think he’s something less than you, you don’t deserve him,”

YN stands in a fit of rage, shoving Taehyung harshly.

“Of course he’s not less than! How dare you even suggest I think he’s below me?! Jimin is the sweetest, most giving person I’ve ever met, Taehyung! He’s so easy to make happy, so willing to do things for others, such a bright person despite all the shit that’s been tossed his way!”

“So you’re saying you love him?”

“Of course I fucking love him! Maybe not the way he loves me, not yet, but I can’t even imagine living without him, Tae! I can’t even dream it!”

Standing up and brushing the remaining bits of snow off of himself, Taehyung grins at her, placing a large hand on top of her head.

“Then we’ve got a hybrid to find,”

But despite all of Taehyung’s outreaching and mysterious connections, the two of them are unable to locate Jimin, spending hours every day searching near and far, hoping that one of Tae’s people will be able to find him. Every day that passes YN grows more concerned, worried sick over Jimin.

Is he safe? Has he found somewhere to sleep? Does he have food? Clothes? Is he warm?

The optimistic part of her wants to believe that Jimin is perfectly okay, that he’s somewhere and not even thinking of her, moving on with his life and heading out to make something of himself.

But a larger part, the frightening part, can’t help but think he’s tucked away in some run down shed in the middle of nowhere, starving and freezing to death, wishing for his end to come believing he’s unloved, that no one will miss him when he’s gone.

Nearly three whole weeks pass by in terrible silence, YN barely able to drag herself to work, her health depleting as the fate of Jimin rots her from the inside. She’s nearly given up when Tae gives her a call, telling her that he’s finally found a lead, a man by Jimin’s description spotted in a grocery store about twenty miles away. His man had followed him to an abandoned looking house just off of a dirt road hardly traveled.

YN stops herself from feeling relief, afraid to be disappointed like the last two false calls Tae had reported to her. She doesn’t think her heart can take another disappointment.

When Taehyung’s old pickup rolls to a stop with a whine, YN sits stone still inside, eyes glancing at the house through a small smattering of trees, run down shackles falling off of its roof, the front door ajar and barely hanging onto its hinges, the tired looking paint peeling off off the outer walls.

“Are you ready?” Taehyung asks, breaking the dead silence.

“No,” she whispers, a sinking feeling falling into her gut.

“Me neither. Let’s go in,”

The two walk towards the house, their feet leaving marks in the thick mud and slush on the ground. The sight of a third pair of fading tracks seizes YN’s heart, her breathing speeding up. She clenches her fists in anticipation, remembering the martial arts she took as a child in case things go south.

The house makes a squeak as her feet stand on the rotting porch, YN glancing to Taehyung in a vain attempt to make herself feel better. The man had offered to check this out himself, but YN had insisted on going with him.

All the duo find in the abandoned house is a plate of messy leftovers on a broken down table in the kitchen, like the person eating had to leave in a rush and tried to eat as much as they could before departing. Nothing else is in the house except for the smell of decay and the few rats and roaches lingering in the corners, watching them with suspicious eyes.

YN is just about to call it a day, heart already bruised when there’s a groan coming from the floorboards. YN almost believes she’s hearing things until another sound come, a whining noise, and she and Taehyung give each other a glance. They sweep the place, more carefully this time, and Taehyung finds a loose floorboard he yanks up, wiping his dirty hands on his pants. The board hid a small wrought iron handle which he grasps tightly, pulling up.

For a moment nothing happens, but eventually the house yields, a cold draft seeping up from the gaping hole in the floor.

The noises are louder now, a grunt making its way up to their ears. YN, unable to see anything, presses a covered toe into the blackness, nearly falling when her foot makes contact with nothing but the air.

“I’ll go first,” Taehyung suggests, but YN shakes her head, sitting on the floor and slipping into the darkness.

Her feet hit the floor a bit unsteadily, YN flailing but righting herself.

Before she can call out, she finds herself pinned by a pair of glowing golden eyes, a growl ripping out into the void.

She can hardly see, but she softens at the sight of those familiar eyes, bright with anger. She takes another step and he growls again, but she ignores the clear warning, getting closer until she’s squatting right in front of him.

He makes a whimpering noise, looking away from her, eyes closing in an attempt to pretend she’s not there.

Jimin had been so hurt, is still so hurt when YN looked at him without saying a thing, so hurt when she broke his heart. It was worse than any pain he felt before. He’d left in a blind wave of hopelessness with the realization of something he’d kept suppressed for years.

He’s truly unlovable, isn't he? How could he delude himself into thinking someone as sweet, brave, so fucking perfect as YN could ever look at him the way he looked at her.

So why is she here? Why, when he’s already accepted that nothing good was meant for his pointless life.

“Jimin,” she whispers, almost like she’s afraid being too loud might shatter him.

It just might.

“Go away. Leave me alone,” he whispers, exhausted.

He’s tired. He’s so tired of being kicked around by the world. He doesn’t have the energy to stand up against it anymore, to fight against it.

YN doesn’t pay his words any attention, arms looping around his thinning waist, pulling him closer to her, laying her head on top of his bony shoulder.

“It’s my fault, Jimin. Mine. God, it’s not what you think. Not at all. I - I just thought your heat was making things fuzzy for you, that all of your words and actions were just consequences of that. I thought that the two of us had no business being anything more than friends to each other, that nothing could ever work out, that you’d come to resent me in the future. But Jimin,” she laughs slightly, pulling herself closer to him, “Living without you is hell. Being without you is hell. You’ve made me realize how beautiful the world is. It must be, for someone like you to live in it, for you to be alive and breathing the same air, for you to be there, holding me in your sleep, for your laugh to be the most heavenly sound I’ve ever heard, for your smile to make any shitty day a million times better. My life is better with you in it, Jimin, so much better that I can’t go back to living without it. And I’m sorry I’m so shit with feeling and I’m making it complicated but - I guess what I’m trying to say is -”

There’s a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob as the hybrid’s arms wrap around her as well, squeezing so tightly she can hardly breathe. But it’s the noise, the noise she loves so much to hear, dusting across her neck.

“You’re an idiot,” he says, nuzzling into her.

“I know,” she replies, tears gathering in her eyes.

“But I’m an idiot too,”

“I know,”

“And I’m so in love with you,”

She cries as she kisses him, hands tangling into his knotted hair, his warmth seeping into her.

She doesn’t feel so cold anymore.

-----------------------

A/N

I want to thank you all for going down this journey with me, for reading my little story and hopefully feeling something. Thank you to those who commented, sent asks, liked, reblogged, and those who did none of those things, but still took the time out of their lives to read Sanctuary. This story has a special place in my heart.

Don’t worry, this won’t be the last of it you see, I promise!

Love you all!

#networkbangtan #bts #bts x reader #jimin #jimin x reader #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin fluff #jimin angst #hybrid bts #hybrid jimin #bts fic

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lowsodiumfreaks67 · 6 years

Text

Comic Con Chris Evans

Word Count : 1520

Warnings : Absolutely none

Masterlist

Requested by @midgardiansstuff

“ Hey I just saw that your requests were open!I just found your blog and i already love it! Can I do a request with Chris Evans? The reader is married and she is an actress, too. Maybe the reader is at the tonight show and they show a video in which the reader wears a costume so no one recognize her and she surprises Chris at the Comic Con and he doesn’t recognize her, too until she pulls down her wig? “

A/N : I loved the story idea, hope I did it justice :)

“ Our first guest this evening is one of the stars of the Avengers movies and the wife of fellow Avenger Chris Evans, everyone please welcome back the one and only Y/n Evans ” the audiences cheers hit you like a wall when the curtain was lifted revealing you standing there in an emerald green dress with matching heels, you grinned wide as you made your way over to Jimmy’s couch. Hugging Jimmy tightly you both said your hellos before taking a seat as the cheers from the audience finally calmed enough that you could hear yourselves again.

“ Hey everyone ” you said with a wave to the audience which made them go absolutely wild again “ Oh my gosh Y/N it is so amazing to have you here again, now I know you’ve been very busy filming and doing conventions and press so thank you for taking the time to come here tonight” , “ Oh Jimmy I wouldn’t miss this for the world, although it is weird being here by myself and not with Chris or another cast member “, Jimmy reaches below the desk and pulls out a photo of the last time you were on the show sat beside your husband Chris “ Ah yes your husband fellow avenger Chris Evans, how long have you guys been married now ? “, thinking back fondly to the day you married your best friend you smiled softly “ Um it’ll be our 5 year anniversary next week actually “ the crowd cheered and clapped, Jimmy had a cheeky look in his eyes “ 5 years wow that’s amazing it feels just like yesterday you guys announced you were engaged, no sign of any kids yet? “ your cheeks burned hot, you chuckled quietly “ Uh no not yet, we’ve both been super busy with stuff and the Avengers movies, we just haven’t found the right time yet”, “ Ah yes the Avengers, how did you manage to convince them to let you join the cast when they already had one Evans on set “ “ well Jimmy don’t tell Chris I said this but the Russo brothers said they wanted to have the better Evans on set as well “ the audience erupted into laughter at your statement, the interview then continued on for a little with a few questions about the avengers and upcoming projects.

“ Alright so you mentioned that you flew to San Diego last weekend to see your husband but he didn’t know that you were doing that did he ? “ you chuckled to yourself because you knew where this was going “ Yeah I did, we hadn’t seen each other face to face in a few weeks and I was getting pretty lonely so I decided to fly out and surprise him at Comic Con and got a friend of mine to film the whole trip “ “ Oh yeah you definitely surprised him alright “ Jimmy laughed as he turned to the camera “ Here we have the video of Y/N surprising her husband Captain America himself Chris Evans at San Diego Comic Con “ he gestured to the screen behind him as the studio got slightly darker to let everyone see the screen clearly, your face popped up on the screen behind you as the video began with you standing in your living room at yours and Chris shared home addressing the camera.

“ Hey guys, so I've been apart from my husband Chris for a few weeks now because of work and iv started to get a little lonely” walking over to your suitcase you pulled your messenger bag over your shoulder “ So I've decided what’s better than face time and calls ? well how about travelling to San Diego Comic Con to surprise him “ the video then showed you walking towards your front door before you turned back “ Oh and get ready Chris cause i’m going to be coming for ya when you least expect it “ the video cut to a montage of the airport, the flight and car journey to the hotel.

The next shot is of you in a hotel room with a Captain America Civil War costume on, it was one of Chris on screen costumes that had been kindly given to you and altered by the Marvel wardrobe department, “ Okay so we’re almost ready to go Y/N how are you feeling now ? “ your friend asked from behind the camera as you pulled on your boots “ Umm yeah i’m getting a little nervous cause I don’t know how this is gonna pan out but I hope it works “ pulling your helmet over your head you grabbed grabbing your shield you turned to the camera “ How do I look guys, think i’ll get recognized ?” the next shot was of you standing outside the convention center getting ready to go in “ Before anyone says anything because I know someone will, I do have this slightly planned, only Chris assistant knows i’m here cause I obviously have to let them know when im coming, let’s not waste anymore time and get in there “ you practically ran towards the entrance whooping and cheering as you went, showing your pass you were allowed into the convention center quickly without any trouble. There was a short montage of you walking around the convention floor looking at all the stalls and pointing out pictures and figurines of yourself and the Avengers, you didn’t usually get to do this at events so it was amazing to get out there amongst the fans even though they had no clue that it was you down there walking amongst them.

The video finally cut to you standing behind a blue curtain “ Ahh i’m so excited, so i’m stood behind the curtain of Chris photo op, he’s literally right there and has no idea what’s going on “ you pointed to the curtain behind you where you could see the faint shadow of Chris posing for photos with fans, with a large grin on your face you pulled your helmet back down over your face “ Lets go get into line and surprise him “ the camera followed you as you joined the line for a photo, after a while waiting you were finally next, Chris assistant came over to get your photo op ticket, when they realized it was you they gave you a small nod and sent you over to Chris.

“ Wow dude that costume is absolutely incredible “ he said happily as you walked towards him, honestly your hands were sweating so bad you were glad you had the finger less gloves on “ Uh yeah damn thing cost quite a bit “ you said quickly with a chuck which made Chris laugh too, you made sure to change your voice a little as to not give anything away just yet, he was about to say something else when his assistant called his name “ Chris sorry buddy but can you come over here for just a second “ I’m so sorry about this i’ll be 2 seconds “, “ Its alright i understand “ the second his back was turned you looked over at the few fans who could see you and gestured at them to stay quiet before removing the helmet, “ Sorry about that, what you say we get this photo done, got any poses in mind ? “ Chris asked as he began turning back around but he froze on the spot when he saw you in front of him “ Well i was thinking you could give me a big hug Cap “ you grinned as he finally stepped towards you and pulled you into him and lifted you off the ground in a tight bear hug, the fans at the side cheered and awed when he set you back down but quickly pulled you into a sweet kiss, you heard the camera go off as the photographer caught the moment for you guys.

The video then ended and the lights in the studio brightened again as the audience cheered, clapped and awed “ Wow Y/N you really did surprise him, that costume was amazing I hope you gotta keep it “ you were about to answer when you felt someone's hands on your shoulders “ Yeah Jimmy she did keep it, it’s right next to my cap costume in the closet “ you whipped your head around quickly to see Chris standing behind you, within seconds you were on your feet rounding the sofa to hug him, as you greeted him Jimmy sent the show to commercial break “ okay I think it’s about time for a break, thank you to the wonderful Y/N for coming on and talking to us and for sharing the video and thank you to Chris for coming by to say Hello, we’ll see you back here in a few minutes “ the audience cheered as you and Chris said your goodbyes and headed towards your dressing room “ Well i guess you can say we’re even with the surprises now “ Chris chuckled as he pulled you into his side when you flopped down on the small couch “ Yeah i guess you could say that “ you whispered with a smile as you snuggled into him, it was hard being apart from each other but it was like heaven when you were together.

#Chris Evans #chris evans imagines #captain america #Steven Rogers #Steven Grant Rogers #steven rodgers imagines #captain america imagines #marvel #marvel imagine #civil war #infinity war #avengers 4

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softmoxymuffin · 5 years

Text

“Confessions in the Bitter Cold”

i had uploaded this on my ao3 weeks ago but i seem to have forgotten to upload it here coz i could not find it anywhere so im uploading it right now im currently working on chapter 9 and 10 and maybe an epilogue

this is kinda long.. but it pays off with the angst in the end.. thank you for being so patient with me i hope you guys like it

Chapter 1: Check Please

Chapter 2: Airplanes and Automobiles

Chapter 3: Tellin’ the Folks

Chapter 4: Hot Cocoa and Surprise Hugs

Chapter 5: Breakfast Sandwiches

Chapter 6: Learning Experience

Chapter 7: Keeping up Defenses

Chapter 8: Confessions in the Bitter Cold

The next day Seth didn’t really get the time to overthink what had transpired yesterday. That morning he was greeted by his family downstairs in the kitchen. His stepdad was frying up some bacon and eggs, while his mom was making fairly high stacks of waffles for all of them. Over the meal Holly had gone ahead and reminded everyone of tonight’s event. It wasn’t only going to be first Christmas party they would have for the students of Black and Brave but also the first time most of them would get to see 392Dport which was also Seth’s new venture with 392 coffee. Thankfully, she had gotten a catering service to provide the bulk of the food so she didn’t have to do the majority of the cooking but she had tasked herself and Dd to work on a couple of desserts to add to the party. Holly then pointed to Seth, Dean, and Brandon to prepare the coffee shop for the event. Other than Dean playfully pouting about not being able to work with the food, everyone seemed to take their task in stride.

The boys had gone to the coffee shop late that morning. The space had fortunately been cleared for use just about a week ago with all of the basics being more than ready. What the boys now had to do was some cleaning up and set all the tables and chairs accordingly as well as decorate. Holly had also informed them that some of the other furniture she had ordered for the place were supposed to be delivered that afternoon plus some nice flower arrangements. Hefting a couple of boxes of Christmas decoration and a couple of brooms and rags the boys set about to work on the place to get everything ready.

As Seth had gone about cleaning the front and the windows of the building he couldn’t help but look into his new coffee shop and just feel a deep sense of thankfulness. If you had asked him a couple of years ago that he would be where he was right now he would have taken the news with grains of salt. He had always made sure to aim as high as he could and work as hard as than he could. He knew he’d get far if he’d just kept at it but to think that after more than ten years in the business he now has a school to his name and even a small café for his community. Seth couldn’t help but feel incredibly grateful for it all.

He took the time to look into the window he was cleaning. Brandon was busy wiping off the chairs and tables already there. Dean was sweeping up from one side of the open space from the other. At least he was until he took up the broom and started to play with it as if it were a guitar. Some song, most probably classic rock, playing in the background. Seth couldn’t help but laugh at what Dean had consider dancing which was mainly just him wiggling his hips around. It only seemed to get worse when he held the broom to Brandon who then joined in with singing along to the song.

At that point as much as Seth was having fun watching his best friend and brother goofing around, he knew he had to put an end to it. He loudly but gently tapped against the window a couple of times which finally got the two boys to stop and stare at him. He pointed to his watch with a mildly impatient expression on his face as if to say ‘stop fooling around and hurry up’, which only made the two playfully scowl and gave him the middle finger. Looking like he was offended, he huffed an annoyed breath. Putting those two together might not have been the best decision Seth thought, but the two had actually stopped with the dancing around and continued to put the place together.

It took all afternoon but the boys had finished their work a couple of hours before the party was supposed to start. The new furniture had come in on time which was good. They had to assemble a couple of coffee tables and shelves together, which was bad. Thankfully Seth took charge of actually patiently reading the instructions rather than ‘winging it’ as Dean would say. The flowers had come beautifully which they had placed all around. A box of a couple of knickknacks and books to make the space feel homey and warm. They finished it off by putting up a few simple Christmas decorations around. Seth and Brandon opting for putting up the tinsel and Christmas lights, while Dean actually opted to put together artificial tree to one corner where all the gifts would go. Once they were finally done they had stepped back to take a good look and clapped each other on the back for a job well done.

Right as they were putting the cleaning supplies and boxes way, Holly, Dd, and Hector walked in carrying a couple of food containers. Even though Holly had said she had hired a catering services, she seemed to still have found the energy to prepared quite a few desserts for tonight’s event.

“Wow, you did a good job boys!” Hector congratulated them.

“I’m glad you got all the furniture ready, was worried that would come late.” Holly said as she put down the desserts on the open counters. “It looks so good. Thank you boys.” She added with a sweet smile.

“It was no problem mom.” Brandon had replied with a smile of his own.

“No problem for you, you didn’t have to try and translate microscopic Swedish in to English.” Seth huffed with playful annoyance.

“Told you, you didn’t have to.” Dean joked which only made the Armenian more annoyed rather than playful.

“Hey, who put up the tree?” Dd had asked as she walked towards the medium sized, decorated plastic tree in the corner.

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” Dean asked somewhat worriedly.

“Nothing,” Dd was quick to answer. “It’s really pretty Dean.” she reassured before taking out her phone and taking a picture of it.

“You put that up Dean?” Holly asked as she gestured towards the tree.

“I mean, I tried.” Dean shrugged sheepishly.

The plastic tree really wasn’t much. It was mainly bought a week or so ago just to add a festive feel to the café for the party. Holly provided the boys with a box of old Christmas decorations to put on it, not really thinking about it. Now finally seeing it all on there, Holly hadn’t realized.

“I made this in the 3rd grade.” Dd pointed out at a pink and gold glittering cat that hung near the top branch.

As everyone else stepped closer to the tree it was only then that the rest of the family had realized that every ornament on the tree was something homemade from their childhood past. A paper candy cane with Brandon’s name scrawled in red crayon that also said he was only 5 years old when he had made it. A gold star with Seth’s two year old face on it that said it was made on his second Christmas. Bits of memory lovingly put on the tree giving it color and life making the café feel like home.

“Thought I'd stick to the sentimental stuff. I didn’t use a lot of the other ornaments. Didn’t seem like it needed anymore…” Dean explained as he scratched the back of his neck nervously. “…they’re still in the box though if you want me to get them.” Dean offered pointing to the broom closet where they had put the things away.

Holly could only shake her head no as he made long strides towards the young man and enveloped Dean in a giant hug. Her warmth seemed to radiate from her. Even Seth could see that from a couple of feet away, he could only imagine how Dean must have felt.

“Thank you Dean.”

His friend had only gave a sheepish smile back and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

“Hey, you boys better go home to get ready for the party.” Hector pointed to the wall clock telling them they had just a little over an hour to drive home, take a shower, and get dressed.

The three boys drove back home. All three making their way to their respective rooms to get cleaned up. Seth and Brandon having to fight over their shared bathroom, with Brandon getting there first. It wasn’t until Seth had been waiting for 10 minutes when he realized his parents bathroom was left unattended.

When he finally finished he made his way to his bedroom. There he went through his things hoping to find something somewhat good enough to wear to a party. Not needing to go too formal, Seth finally got a red button down shirt which he paired with black skinny jeans and black boots. He had neatly combed and tied his hair in a bun. He looked at his mirror to check for anything else he might have missed; his shirt was iron, his jeans looked good, nothing in his teeth. He took a couple of sprits of his cologne and walked out of his room.

For the third time this week he knocked on Dean’s door, for once being sure that the other man was on the other side. After hearing a few grunts from inside, Dean finally come out looking fresh himself. Dean was wearing the same boots he had been wearing all day. He changed from his light tattered jeans to a darker and cleaner pair that had absolutely no holes in them. His shirt was a nice fitting olive green button down that hugged his broad shoulders and tucked in his small waist, a waist Seth still sometimes couldn’t believe belonged to the taller and broader man in front of him. Dean’s hair was combed back neatly, his usual curls seemed to behave for once. Overall, Seth thought Dean looked really good.

“Hey, you two match.” Brandon came out of his own room and pointed to their outfits.

The two looked down and realized they did sort of match with the Christmas colors of red and green making them look extra appropriate for the event. Brandon opted for a soft looking blue sweater and khakis. With all three of them finally ready, they were relieved to find out that they had at least 20 minutes before any of them could be considered late.

They hopped in Seth’s car and drove the short way to the café. Entering the coffeeshop was already somewhat full of familiar faces. Some students who had gone to stay home for the holidays had actually traveled back for the party. The nine students who had decided to spend the holidays that the school had arrived as well. The catering came, and all the food was ready. Drinks were being poured. Christmas songs were being played. Friendly laughter and chatter could be heard all around.

Greeting the students and some of their friends and family who they decided to bring along was fun, especially seeing some of them had brought their little brothers and sisters to meet Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose in person. They had taken quite a few pictures with them. Talked pleasantries with their guests. Seth found himself in a chat with one of his student’s dad’s who wanted to learn exactly how the school operated seeing as his other son wanted to follow in his big brother footsteps.

In the middle of the conversation, Seth couldn’t help but noticed Dean sort of just standing to the sidelines. People were flocking towards him for pictures and autographs, but the more of them came he kind of just stuck to leaning against the far off wall getting out of other’s way. The younger wrestler was tempted to cut the conversation short to check on his friend. Fortunately, Holly seemed to have seen the same thing and approached Dean offering him a plate to eat. It was comically sweet seeing a 5’3, 50 year old woman seemingly protect the 6’4, 225 lbs. man from his all-too-friendly public. Seth breathed a sigh of relief as he watched Dean take the plate and went off to eat somewhere further away from the crowd.

Dean was not exactly the party animal the public thought he was, at least not anymore. Seth was indies around the same time as Dean and he had heard the stories about him. He heard of drunken debaucheries from Ohio all the way up to the east coast. He heard of his drug use during his time in Puerto Rico. He heard Dean as Jon Moxley almost like a myth, the general people not really knowing how to deal with him and his ways. The crowd ate it up.

Nowadays, Dean was calmer. He knew how to have a good time but knew how to keep it to people he trusted. He knew how to get along with tons of people, but also had a damn good bullshit meter that could sort out those who were genuinely interested in him and those who wanted something from him. He had given up the drug use, for that Seth was sure and was thankful for. He had lessened the drinking considerably. Dean was calmer and was taking better care of himself, instead of having absolutely no regard for his body. But after all that, Dean Ambrose was not anyone you would consider a wall flower.

With a sudden halt to the Christmas music, the familiar warm and maternal voice rang through the café.

“Hello everybody and Merry Christmas” Holly greeted, which was met with applause and a couple of toasts from the crowd. “As all of you know this is the first ever Black and Brave Wrestling Academy Christmas Party. This is a time for everyone involved in the school to come together to celebrate and give thanks to what this first year has brought us… Honestly, if anyone had ever told me 30 years ago that I would be helping run my son’s wrestling school I would never have believed you.” The crowd laughed and applauded appreciatively for their adopted mother. “-But if I did give the news a chance and believed you than I would not have any doubt that the son who would be hardworking enough, determined enough, and passionate enough to be able to build that would be my son, Seth Rollins.” She ended her little speech by pointing out Seth and motioned for him to come up on the platform to say a few words.

“Thanks mom,” he said with a small kiss on her cheek. “Merry Christmas everyone. First of all I’d just like to thank each and every one of you who came down here. It has been a very eventful couple of months for us. Building this school had been a dream of mine for many years. I wish I could say I had been dreaming of it 30 years ago, but that just wouldn’t be true… The truth many of the things I have done were never planned outright. I had dreams but targets like the school, and this café, and the achievement’s I’ve garnered over the years were mainly me just taking as many opportunities I can take and doing the best I could with them, and I have been blessed.” The drop in Seth’s voice was noticeable and had a couple of his students cheer him on to continue.

“But as much as I am blessed by all of these things, the biggest blessings I have in my life would be them.” Seth then pointed out to his family who were standing by the sidelines. “I would have nothing without any of you. Absolutely nothing without your love and support and understanding. You made my dreams your dreams. You made my efforts to be yours as well. You’ve patiently waited for me on this crazy journey and went ahead and walked down this difficult path with me. For that I am always so grateful…” Seth voice cracked then took a deep breath before composing himself to continue. “Mom and Dad, thank you for everything.”

Seth then raised his glass in the air. “To my family; both blood-” he motioned towards his family. “And not-” he had moved to gesture towards where he had last seen Dean but only saw the seat he left behind. But before his confusion could be noticed he turned his glass towards the crowd and recovered. “-thank you everyone, enjoy the rest of your night.” He along the rest of the people took a sip of their drinks.

While the crowd had smiled and moved to give each other hugs or went back about to their business, Seth couldn’t help himself but frown as he stepped of the platform. He was greeted by his smiling parents. His mom giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. His dad giving him an encouraging pat on the back. Both his siblings giving him hugs, Brandon teasing him for almost crying in front of everyone. It was a happy moment for him, but something held him back.

“Had anyone seen Dean?” he asked, doing his best to keep his worry at bay.

“He was just-” Dd had turned to where the other wrestler had sat earlier, only to see what Seth had seen from the platform. “He was just here.”

“I hadn’t seen him leave.” Hector reassured his son.

“Wherever he is I’m sure he’s alright.” Brandon offered.

“I know where he went.” A familiar young voice had spoken up.

Seth had turned and was greeted by the face of Jesse, one of the students from the academy. He looked a little different with the swept back hair and glasses, but still easily recognizable.

“I ran into him when I was going out of the bathroom.” He explained. “I think he went out back onto the deck.”

Seth gave a slight smile for a thank you before he had made his way to where the young man was pointing. One of the features Seth was looking forward to regarding the coffeeshop was a nice outdoor deck overlooking the river. From there you were able to see the school and even a glimpse of his home on the other side. He had opened the back door and was unpleasantly greeted by the December cold.

Just as he was about to close the door again, he had spotted a glimpse of the man he was looking for. He was standing leaning against the railing eyes towards the freezing cold river. He had nothing else on except for his shirt and jeans. The sight made Seth turn back around to put on his coat and grab Dean’s as well. Before he went ahead and opened the back door again, Seth found himself trying to calm himself down, like he was psyching himself out before a big leap. Why exactly he felt the need to do that he wasn’t sure, but it made opening that door a little bit easier for him.

He quietly approached the other man. His back hardly even shivered under the harsh cold. For a split second he feared getting the other man’s coat for him was not something he might have wanted. But that second passed and Seth didn’t care whether Dean would take it or not, he was going to put on his damn coat.

“Hey,” he called out. The other man slowly turned towards him. “You forgot this.” He raised his coat open and without telling him putting it over his broad shoulders. Thankfully the other man had wordlessly slipped it on, like it was a forgotten after thought.

Seth copied Dean’s position; facing towards the river and his arms crossed on the railings. Neither man looking at the other in the eye, but a silent acknowledgement was there. It felt like how they were in the ring. Even if they didn’t have a clear view of each other, they seemed to know exactly where the other one was.

“They really liked the Christmas tree out there.” Seth pointed out, thankfully made the other man smile.

“I’m guessing you haven’t spotted that one ornament with that baby picture of you butt naked on your living room carpet.” He answered.

“What?!?!” he Seth was sorely tempted to run back inside only to look for that offending decoration but was stopped by his friends laughter. After an exasperated sigh Seth turned back towards the other man and sarcastically said; “Haha, very funny Ambrose.” When his words only garnered a shrugged from the older man Seth felt the need to ask again. “You’re only joking right?”

“Nope,” he answered with that ‘p’ sound popping from his lips. “But it doesn’t have your name on it, so maybe you could get away with saying it’s actually Brandon.”

“How do you know it wasn’t?” the Armenian countered.

“I’d recognize that pale ass anywhere.” He joked with a giant grin on his face.

“That's disturbing,” he replied and his best to look serious but when he saw Dean’s face trying to hold back his laughter, Seth himself lost it.

The laughter died down and the cold didn’t seem to bother Seth as much as it did minutes ago. A comfortable blanket of silence fell over them. It was easy to just be quiet with Dean, but Seth knew he couldn’t have it easy. Not now.

"Seriously though, they loved the Christmas tree, mom especially." he nudged the older wrestler with his shoulder.

"It was nothing." he answered with a small smile. "It was kinda nice. Hadn't put up a Christmas Tree like that like ever."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"We weren't that big on Christmas growing up. Dad was out of state. Mom was working nights. My sister tried to cook for us two, but we never saw the point of having a tree without presents. So, we just never had it." he explained simply. Seth feeling sad for younger version of Dean having to go through that, but oddly happy to have him finally open up to him.

Maybe it would be a mistake, but Dean gave him an in so Seth decided to take the leap.

“That why you left?” he asked cautiously.

Dean sighed but then shook his head. “You were having your thing with your family and your kids… I don’t know… just didn’t feel right to be there.”

“Dean, you’re a part of this too…” Seth reassured him, which only made the other man laugh but with no humor.

“I’m really not… I mean this is the very first time I’ve ever been here. I’m basically just passing through.” He pointed out with another noncommittal shrug.

The thought of Dean thinking that he was some sort of drifter in Seth’s home made his heart ache.

“Dean, none of this would have been possible without you.” Seth reassured the other man, who again laughed humorlessly. “I’m serious… You think I would have gotten as far as I had and as fast as I had without your help? Dean, before you came to FCW I was more than ready to jump ship off to TNA. I felt like the only indie shmuck out there in the sea of baby oiled body builders and football players.” That finally got the other man to smile. “Then when we got the call for The Shield… I couldn’t have asked for any better partners than you and Ro. Like I don’t think that would have gotten as far as it did with anyone else. Then when we had to break do I need to remind you who gave me my push?” he asked.

The rhetorical question making the other man pause remembering what happened that night almost 5 years ago.

*flashback*

They had just come from a successful night from Payback 2014. All three were riding high entering the arena for Monday Night Raw until they were called to the office. There in Vince McMahon’s office, barely an hour before the show started, they were informed that The Shield was to disband that night. It was a complete shock to the three of them and the urge to object died on their lips once Vince had said it was non-negotiable.

All three sat there in disbelief as Vince, Hunter, and Stephanie as well as some people from creative were there to explain what exactly was going to happen tonight. They shared their plan to have Dean Ambrose, being the most experienced and seemingly the leader of the group, to betray the group by landing a couple of chair shots on both Roman and Seth from behind.

It was the middle of this meeting when Dean was bold enough to actually speak up.

“No,” Dean said, his face expressing his deep thought.

“What do you mean no?” Hunter asked angrily, “You heard what Vince had said, this is non-negotiable.”

“No,” Dean repeated. His boldness making Seth’s hair stand on end. “Not about the break… but about me.” He added which got confused reactions from everyone else in the room. Dean then leaned forward as if he was about to share some secret with the room. “I can’t turn heel…” he spoke as if he were pointing out the obvious because; “It would be too fucking obvious.”

That caused the people in the room to raise their brows in surprise. Roman even turning his chair to look at his best friend in the eye like he was crazy. Seth just looking on wanting to listen to other any other alternatives at this point.

“Don’t you see?” Dean asked the room before he stood up to make his point. “I’m already the heel of the group. For those who knew Moxley then they’d know how much of an asshole I was and expect it. For those who’d only known me as Ambrose everyone knew how much of an asshole I’d been in this group…” he proceeded to remind them of what has transpired over the last couple of months. “I’m unstable. I’m a lunatic. I’m a loudmouth, power hungry, asshole… of course I’d turn heel.” He pointed out almost sounding like he was ready to agree with them only to turn a sharp left. “Which is why I can’t, it’s too easy.” He added as he crossed his arms and casually leaned against the conference room tables, like he wasn't making a multi-million dollar company move to his whim. Everyone else quieted down not knowing what to do with Dean’s information.

“So…” Hunter was the one to break the silence. “What do you propose?”

Dean took a thoughtful look around the room. Suspiciously eyeing his bosses and the companies creative team. His eyes only somewhat softening when they fell on Roman and Seth. His sight shifting from one to the other. His eyes having a intensity that made the other two shiver in their seats.The gears in his head moving with unspoken ideas.

“Seth should do it.” He finally answered after a long pause.

“What?!” the rest of the room exclaimed, along with Seth himself. Roman just sitting there in shock at the words he was hearing.

“He’s the one that makes the most sense.” Dean continued, “I can’t do it because it’s basically what everyone already expects. Roman can’t do it coz, let’s admit it, you’re pushing him for the face of this company and we can’t have him turn heel,” he directed to Vince accusingly.

“Seth,” Dean sat down and moved his chair closer to him as if he was imparting important wisdom. “You’re the quiet, evil mastermind. Of course you’d be the first to betray us. You’re whole character had been building us up to break down everything in our path. You’ve been put up as the brains of the operation… it wouldn’t make sense for you to not see me turn on you. What makes sense is you turning on us… I mean… no one would ever believe it. No one would ever believe that you could do that to us. It would fucking shock the world.”

Seth just sat there listening to Dean’s words. Words that were soft enough to touch him but almost sharp enough to hurt. Deep down he knew Dean was making sense, but the thought of it scared the crap out of him. Could he really?

“Dean, You do know what you’re suggesting here, don’t you?” Hunter again broke the silence, his question only met a casual shrug of agreement from the wrestler. “You are suggesting that we redirect a push tailor made for you to someone else entirely. You are throwing away an opportunity to make the biggest noise in the company to date; to cause the break in The Shield. Do you have any idea what you’re giving up?” Hunter asked him as if he were truly a lunatic and not just a character he played.

“If I did it, then I’d be wasting the biggest push the company could ever give on a shitty outcome anyone could have easily seen from a mile away. I’m not throwing the opportunity away, I’m trying to make it stick.” He explained. “And it will… if you have Seth do it.” Dean pointed to Seth like he was the answer to every question.

Another tense and pregnant pause fell over the room. The team not knowing exactly what to do. Whispers going back and forth from writers, angrily blaming each other for not thinking this shit through. The silence was finally broken, but not by Hunter.

“I like it.” Vince finally spoke with a clap. “Be ready by 8.” He instructed everyone. “And you!” he pointed to Seth alone. “Don’t screw up.” he warned before motioning for everyone else to leave his office.

Once outside and away form earshot Seth grabbed Dean by the arm and made him turn towards him.

“Dean, what the fuck were you thinking?” Seth asked without waiting for an answer. “You just threw away your shot.” Which again only made the other man shrug and purse his lips like it was nothing. “Is this a joke to you?” he finally asked angrily.

Roman was about to step in to calm the situation down but was stopped by Dean’s hand to his chest silently telling the other man that he could handle this.

“Seth, there is no other way to do this.” He answered plainly. “As much as I hate it. It’s best to end on the top. No one will see it coming… and definitely no one will see it coming from you of all people. Like I said, nobody is ever gonna think you could betray us.” he added with a comforting hand to Seth’s shoulder.

“But your shot.” Seth repeated.

“I’ll get another one.” He again shrugged it off, but Seth finally saw how genuine it actually was.

“Are you sure?” he asked again, knowing full well that when Dean Ambrose wrapped his mind around something it would take heaven and hell to pry it out of his grasp.

Dean only smiled softly at him and spoke “Like I said before-” He then leaned in close to whisper something in his ear “You’re the only one worth fighting around here.” He added his smile growing big and as he clapped the man on his back right before he had made his way to their locker room

***

That was 5 years ago, but the memory was still fresh in Seth’s mind. The generosity Dean had showed him all those year ago. The skill. The experience. All of it. Dean was like no other. Like had had said earlier in his little speech, he would like to think he had gotten this far this fast by himself, but being honest with himself he would never have gotten this far without Dean.

“You changed my life Dean…” he said.

“Seth, you are incredible. You’re talented. You’re hard working. You’ve taken every obstacle that’s ever faced you and threw it out of the way.” He pointed out. “You could have easily gotten here without me. No problem.” He spoke with a certainty that was almost as frigid as the cold.

Seth looked at the man standing in front of him. His voice rougher than usual. His eyes droopier than they normally were. His body slouched over a bit more than before. This was not Dean, not him completely. Dean was tired, Seth couldn't believe he never noticed it before.

“What happened to you?” he asked out of nowhere, his question making the older man stop and stare at him in confusion. “What made you come here Dean?” he asked more clearly this time. The question only making the other man turn away not being able to look at him in the eye.

“You have been running around all over the place since you got here. Never stopping. When you weren’t helping me, you were helping mom cook. When you weren’t doing that you were heading to the hardware store for something for my dad. When you weren’t doing that you were going off shopping with Dd. Then fixing this place up, cleaning with Brandon and putting up the tree in the middle of the café. Then before all this you had driven more than 12 hours straight just to get here after you had just landed at home in Vegas…” all the worries and fears Seth had been feeling for his friend over the past couple of days finally spilling out of him in torrents. The dam of social niceties finally breaking from the deep need to know what was going on with his friend. "What made you run?"

When Dean still refused to look at him in the eye, Seth raised both his hand in defeat not knowing what else to do and started to walk backwards to leave the other man to retreat shamefully back inside.

“I got robbed!” he finally exclaimed, causing Seth to stop in his tracks and turn back towards him more confused with the answer than he should.

“I got robbed.” Dean repeated defeatedly, with something else sounding very foreign for him that Seth couldn’t pin. “I got back thinking I’d come home to my house in the desert and my girlfriend waiting for me.” He explained. “Instead, my house was ransacked. My TV, refrigerator, and microwave gone. My furniture just also gone. The only things left was my bed, some clothes, in the few memorabilia I had kept from before.”

From everything Seth was expecting to hear, this was nowhere near to it. He stood there next to him, watching him as he spoke his frustrations to the night air, not able to look at Seth directly. That’s when Seth realized that unfamiliar hitch in Dean’s voice was something he never really heard before; shame.

“Why I drove all the way out of here? I don’t really know. God knows it’s not the first time I’ve ever been robbed. Just the first time I had stuff truly worth robbing.” He bitterly laughed at his own joke. “I was only supposed to drive to the police station to make a report. That was it. But the second I got back in my car after that, the thought of going back to my sad and empty house just fucking broke me. I couldn’t. So I turned the other way and drove as far as I could. I didn't care where.”

“For most of the drive I was trying to convince myself that it was a misunderstanding.” He began to talk with his hands, wildly gesturing the way he usually would when high on emotions. “I was willing to believe it was anything; a biker gang, a cult, damn aliens, but it wasn't. I reached Nebraska when the cops called back.” He paused to look down sadly and made a fist angrily, swallowing the urge to hit something. “They found Melanie trying to pawn my stuff along the strip, with her husband.”

‘That bitch!’ was what Seth wanted to say but bit his tongue, not wanting to stop the other man from finally spilling everything he had been hiding.

“My so called girlfriend and her husband, had been forking my shit all over town since I left.” He added. “I fucking gave her the keys to my place. I practically fucking invited her to rob me, like a dumbass.”

Again, Seth had wanted to say something, hating the self-loathing coming from the other man, but controlled himself until he needed to.

“I don’t even know anymore what I’m bitching about.” Dean said frustratingly. “Like I said, it’s not like it’s the first time I was ever robbed. It’s not like it’s the first time some girl just ended up using me and tossing me aside. It’s not like it’s the first time I came home to an empty house.” His voice sounding so defeated.

Dear God, Seth wanted to say something.

“I just thought it would be different, you know?” he asked rhetorically. “All those times before. In a different life. I had just accepted it all making up excuses; I was robbed because I lived in a shitty neighborhood with people low enough to trade their grandma for weed and coke. I was used coz maybe even though they told me they liked how tall I was, and how blue my eyes were, or how deep my dimples were. I was still trailer trash to them, maybe good for a good time but not for anything more. I was betrayed coz let’s be honest who would stick around with a coked up junkie teenager who was obsessed with professional wrestling.” He spoke about himself with such hate. “I mean the drugs were bad enough, but have me be a dumbass only good at fighting and getting hit, how the fuck was anyone ever supposed to stick to that.”

Seth’s heart was aching for him. He wrung his hands constantly like he physically had to stop himself from speaking.

“Then it all started to come around.” He finally started to speak with an inkling of hope in his voice. “Got signed to WWE. Got put in a stable with you and Roman. Getting the matches and screen time anyone in their right mind would fucking dream of. Like I had finally made it.” He spoke with a sad smile. “And yet, shit like this still happens.”

“This happening to me again and again; even outside Cincinnati, even after getting clean and mostly sober, even with the job, even with the fancy house, and the six figure salary. Even after all that, and this shit still happens.” He seemed to be at a lost for words, fearing what he was thinking of saying next. “It gets a guy thinking you know; Maybe it wasn’t the neighborhood. Maybe it wasn’t the drugs. Maybe it wasn’t the local skanks I had blamed. Maybe it wasn’t the job or the paycheck. Maybe it wasn’t the lack of success, nor fame, nor common sense that did me in.”

“Maybe it was just me…” heartbroken voice just aching out of him. “Maybe I’m the fuck up. Maybe, just maybe… I was just never supposed to have anything good in my life for myself.”

‘That’s not true,’ Seth wanted to say.

“Maybe I’m just destined to be a sad and lonely fucker who dies alone in the middle of the desert.” He spoke with such sad resignation.

“No,” Seth finally spoke. He stood right next to him until their sides met.

Seth’s warm hand reaching down to find Dean’s and intertwining them in a strong grip he did not want to let go. Dean’s eyes turned as he followed the sight of their hands clasped, his face growing in confusion. Questions dying on his lips once Seth put his free hand against Dean’s winter bitten cheek, feeling even warmer against his cold skin.

Seth just couldn’t listen to another word. Not one more hateful comment Dean could make about himself. All the other words Seth had wanted to say died out once he came face to face with him. It was then he had realized no words would ever be good enough to tell him what he felt.

He inched closer and closer until their noses met. Seth's hot breath against his lips. Just as Dean was finding the words to ask, Seth answered before they could leave his mouth. His lips sealing them from ever being uttered. Soft and chapped and a little dry, but Seth could honestly say he’d never had a kiss meant so much to him. He wanted to drown all the words he had said just now; every hateful and angry word towards himself, and replace them with nothing but good. He wanted to pour every ounce of comfort, and care, and warmth, and good, just plain and simple good in this kiss.

A simple tentative touch of the lips slowly grew. Every turn of Seth’s head towards him wanting to taste him deeper. His mouth opening for him wanting Dean to fill his mouth with whatever good could muster out of himself, wanting to prove it had always been there. Their beards causing a delicious friction to grow between them. Their tongues practically feeding each other muffled moans. Dean tasted like mint and wine and warmth, Seth never knew and never wanted to stop. He had let go of his hand but only to have his hand wrapped around the nape of neck. His fingers meeting soft curls. Winter be damned. He didn’t wanted to let Dean go. Never.

It was Dean who let go.

Seth felt a soft push against his shoulders. It was so sudden, Seth’s lips were still puckered and wet from the kiss when he was forced to make space between them. His eyes slowly opening. Warm and worried brown met confused and concerned blue.

“Seth, what was that?” he asked, voice on the edge of conflicting emotions.

“I-” Seth lost his words in all his thoughts. His hand that was still wrapped around Dean’s neck were also being pushed away. “I-”

“Seth, what-” Dean struggled with his words as if they were also lost I the confusion. Stepping away from him. “Why did you kiss me?”

“I…” he started to answer but couldn’t find the words. He couldn’t find the exact words.

“Seth?” Dean asked once more.

“I just-” Seth started. “I couldn’t- I couldn’t let you…” Dean’s face growing even more confused. “I couldn’t listen to you talk like that anymore.” He said sadly.

The way Dean’s face dropped, he knew those were not the words he had wanted to hear.

“So, I say some sob story and now you’re all over me?” Dean’s voice growing in anger coming from somewhere Seth didn’t know.

“No, Dean…” he tried to reach out to him but was only brushed off.

“So what is it then?” Dean asked. “What changed?”

“I-” Seth again having difficulty finding the words. “I don’t know…”

Dean’s face falling even further; from confusion, to anger, to sadness. “You don’t know?”

“I don’t…” Seth tried to speak.

“You don’t know?” he asked. “You really don’t know?” Seth could only sadly shake his head, not knowing what the other man wanted to hear. “Coz something must have changed…” he added.

“What do you mean?” he asked back.

“I mean, you’ve never wanted to kiss me ever before.” He pointed out. “Now suddenly you do? Just like that, out of the blue? No reason why? What?”

“Why does there have to be a reason why?” Seth asked desperately.

“Coz I’ve been in love with you for 8 years!” he finally confessed. “You have never wanted to kiss me. You had never even looked at me twice.”

Seth froze. The chill of the winter night seemed to have seeped into his bones along with the desperate confessions of the man in front of him.

“I was never an option to you. I was never anyone like that to you before. Like ever.” His voice defeated and confused. “I was just crazy Dean with the jokes and the stories and the flirting and a good time. That's all I was. I was never… I mean, you never took me seriously before. You never wanted me before. You never could. Why would you?”

‘Was that how Dean really saw himself in Seth’s eyes?’ Seth was desperate to pull Dean in an show him how wrong he was.

But again Dean pushed him away.

Before Seth could try and reached for him again, Dean turned towards the back door opening letting the warm glow of the inside out. There stood Holly with hugging herself tightly as she called the boys inside before the cold got worse.

Seth couldn’t care less about the cold.

But Dean took the opportunity and ran out. Seth went and followed him. Through the crowd, Dean seemed to just blend in as he gently pushed people aside with a couple of quick ‘excuse me’ and muffled ‘sorry’. Somehow blocking Seth’s own way through the crowd to catch him.

It was when a fan tried to pull him for a photo when Seth saw Dean’s quickly retreating form go out of the front door.

Seth as quickly but as gently as he could got through the rest of the crowd to go out the same door needing to catch up to him. But once he got outside in the cold winter night in the middle of the intersection in front of the café, Seth had no idea where Dean had ran off to.

His dream and his nightmare coming true all in one night.

‘Dean was in love with him.’ The realization ran through his head unbelievably. ‘Dean has been in love with him for 8 years.’ How had he never seen it. Suddenly, a flood of all their times together in the past came rushing through him. Every late night talk. Every day off spent together. Every fight. Every drive. Every disagreement. Every day. Every night. Every word.

Dean had always been there to give him everything, and he never noticed.

How could he have never noticed?

#blagamuffin writes stuff #check please series #ambrollins #ambrollins fanfiction #dean ambrose #seth rollins #ambrollins falling in love #love confessions #christmas time coz i write so fucking slow it hurts #fanfiction

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medamoiselle-blog · 6 years

Text

2017 in Review

I read mdA’s year in review and wanted to use her template to reflect on my year, too.

1 - What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

Hung out with a group of friends and slept over without worrying about all the studying I’d have to do that weekend, went to a classmate’s/friend’s wedding, signed up to take Step 1 (omgomgomg), went through a messy break up, traveled to Europe by myself, rode on a train for the first time! (which actually took 6 hours instead of 4 because something was wrong with the train and they had to fix it halfway through the journey), killed a spider, read Lolita, went on a vacation for Spring Break, completed a project and wrote a research manuscript from start to finish, went to the Weeknd’s concert! 2 - Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I dont remember if I made any resolutions last year...I usually don’t. But, for this year, I am going to continue doing what I have learned to do these past few months:

1) focus on myself more (my health, my fitness, my happiness)

2) get rid of toxic people and distractions in my life

3) study for and do well on boards

4) No more social media until after boards

3 - Did anyone close to you give birth?

No.

4 - Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5 - What countries did you visit?

Some European countries, Mexico, Japan.

6 - What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Better, more supportive friends. I used to hang out with a group of gunners (they literally wouldnt share resources because they ‘dont want other people to do well on boards’ and didnt understand why that was upsetting to me). I distanced myself and I’ve been happier. 7 - What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 14th, went on a spontaneous quick trip to Japan mid semester and learned most of renal phys on the 15hr plane rides to and from Tokyo. Stayed at the Disney resort and had a magical time.

8 - What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking care of my mental health, getting to know myself better, submitting my manuscript for publication. This year was full of ups and downs and many firsts, so I’ve learned a lot and have gained experiences that I value very much. That’s an accomplishment to me.

9 - What was your biggest failure?

I stopped running a few months ago, but I plan on getting back into it before this semester starts! 10 - Did you suffer illness or injury?

Thankfully, nothing serious. 11 - What was the best thing you bought?

I bought myself a ring and I absolutely love it! I love the way it looks on my finger and like wearing it.

As for practical things, I bough an iPad Pro and now that’s all I use to take notes, study, etc. I don’t use paper anymore and it’s really nice to have all my material in one place. 12 - Whose behavior merited celebration?

All of the women and men who shared their stories using #MeToo. My parents for putting up with me and taking care of me when I visit, physically and mentally tired. The one student in our class who shared his struggles with suicide and depression in an effort to help others. 13 - Whose behavior made you appalled or depressed?

a lot of politicians...people trying to take away net neutrality, Trump and his tweets, the ex who told me [after we’d talked about doing residencies in the same hospital and how many children we wanted, etc.] that he wouldnt be introducing me to his parents or be able to marry me because I wasn't Egyptian and his mom wouldnt approve [Boy, bye], the mom who tried to exploit money using a bullying video.

14 - Where did most of your money go?

BOARDS. Who knew it was so expensive to schedule board exams...*le sigh* Also, a lot of money spent on resources...*le cry*

15 - What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I woke up to the first snow of the season and I could not contain myself! 16 - What song(s) will always remind you of 2017?

The Weeknd-Staryboy 17 - Compared to this time last year, are you: I. Happier or sadder?

A little bit of both...sadder and more stressed in some ways, but happier and more content in other ways. Overall, I’m in a good place.

II. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner.

III. Richer or poorer?

Poorer.

18 - What do you wish you’d done more of?

More dancing.

19 - What do you wish you’d done less of?

Social media. 20 - How will you be spending/spent christmas?

Hung out, made and ate xmas dinner, and enjoyed great company <3

21 - Did you fall in love in 2017?

No, i thought I did at some point tho. 22 - How many one-night stands?

23 - What was your favorite tv program?

The Blacklist.

24 - Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Yeah. 25 - What was the best book you read?

Both Nejma and Salt by Nayyirah Waheed were great reads. 26 - What was your greatest musical discovery?

Dua Lipa. 27 - What did you want and get?

A ring, cute Timberland boots, an iPad Pro w an apple pen, an A in neuro (neuro is our most difficult system, it’s a 6 credit hr course with a lab, and I was scared to take it. But, i ended up really liking it!) 28 - What was your favorite film of this year?

I haven't been to the movies in years. I prefer Netflix/Amazon prime and watching from the comfort of my bed/couch.

29 - What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Turned 23. I studied for an exam, but got to celebrate with my family 2 weeks later. Lots of good food and cake! 30 - What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had the wisdom I have today at the beginning of this year (2017) haha

If people were kinder to each other.

31 - How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

scrubs 90% of the time. business casual or professional 5% of the time. Leggings, sweaters, sundresses, boots/heels, long dresses, etc. 5% of the time. 32 - What kept you sane?

family, Netflix shows, shopping, traveling. 33 - Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Pietro Boselli *heart eyes*

34 - What political/social issue stirred you the most?

Healthcare equality, DACA/immigration issues, net neutrality

^ Im going to keep MdA’s answer because yes!! 35 - Who did you miss?

My maternal grandmother who's been dead for 6-7 years now, but I still think of her some times. Also, my best friend who’s moved to another state for grad school. 36 - Who was the best new person you met?

I became closer to someone in my class this past year and I love hanging out with her. She is always so cheerful and optimistic. I love that about her.

37 - Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017:

Trust your intuition and don’t settle.

#year in review #2017 #need to reflect #heres to 2018

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tijuana-blues · 7 years

Text

I waited until i got to work to type this.

The end of this month crosses the 1 year mark. only one year ago my world was completely different, and on the Verge of Collapse. A little backstory is needed before i continue.

Yesterday was a normal Tuesday for me. Work didnt stress me, no problems arose. My parents texted me and my brother to eat steak for Dinner. The Food was delicious, and i was preparing to head home, hit a Nice Big Dab, play a round of Smite, and hit the sack, seeing as how i hadnt slept in over 24 hours, and the only thing fueling me was the Gram of Coke i bought on Monday lol.

So as i Get up to Put away my dishes and say goodbye, i get a FaceBook Message. Its my Cousin, Isaiah.

He says he got into an Argument with his dad and got kicked out. He needed somewhere to sleep for the night.

Sure, I tell him. I cant just ignore him if he has nowhere to go. He meets me at my house 5 Minuets later with a backpack full of beer, a bottle of Vodka, and half a loaf of bread and sandwhich meats. My Cousin is crazy lmao, he has the Apache Blood in him more than me. Anyway, since hes staying, i ask if he can find some Wax, so i wouldnt be taking from my Brothers Stash. We meet up a half hour later and pick it up.

so were in my garage, passing the rig back and forth while i Showed him how Smite Worked. And then suddenly he pulls a rolled up baggie out his pocket.

A rolled white Baggie full of powder.

“well we can finish this off, then. since youre letting me Crash here.”

Im not one to ask for payment to crash at my place, but i wasnt gonna say no either lol.

he pours it out on the glass i had been using myself and began to chop it fine with the razor blade i used too.

i had taken a couple pretty good sized dabs in quick order, so i was pretty toasted when he handed me the glass and rolled up dollar. I only saw the 2 lines he had cut on it, so i just assumed he cut two for both of us and i was going first. So i just aim the dollar at the line on the right and Snort away, dragging the dollar quickly, then my Nostril Burst into Flame. I had made a mistake, he cut one line for Me from the PILE on the left.

The PILE i just Tornado’ed up my nose, and was now drinking water to keep my throat from going numb from the river of coke mucus running down it. I hear my Cousin laughing next to me.

“youre a maniac, Cuz! you railed that whole Fat ass pIle!”

Well Fuck. so much for sleeping. Lighting Coursed through my Veins 5 minuets later, and i started drinking Beers to fight the Drip.

Now Isaiah told me that it was Good Shit, but i hardly take his word for it Nowadays. hes off mark most of the Time. Not this time, Though.

15 Minutes Later im Chainsmoking Cigarettes out front of my Driveway Drinking beer and my Jaw was shaking in my Head.

You know its Good Shit when it makes someone who spent the last 24 hours doing Coke often, gives him the Jabber Jaw.

me and Isaiah just began to talk bullshit into the NIght. at Around Midnight he was talking about a girl he knew for awhile now liking him. And him liking her too but he didnt think a Relationship would be good at the Time.

Then Youre Face appeared in my Head. Like it always does. I havent Gone a day yet where i dont see you in my head.

I dont know what caused this, Perhaps it was the Coke in my System with the Beer. Or Maybe it made me finally push past my Insecurities.

i Began to talk about how i Felt the Same, how i couldnt really talk to other women or really want to because of the Luggage i was Still Carrying with My Ex, Maria.

And from there i began to talk and Talk and Talk. I couldnt Stop, the Words i had been saying in my head Every day this Past Year came out. I sat in my Garage all night Long, Until 5:00 AM, Talking to Isaiah About Her.

I didnt hold back, and surprised myself as my eyes stayed dry and my Voice Stone Cold.

I told HIm about How every Woman i ever Dated All Cheated on Me and Left me without a Second Glance. About How My First Girlfriend Megan roped me into a 3 year Lie and ruined my trust in people. I talked about how the girls i dated afterwards all did the same thing, and how i wished i was joking to him.

I told him about how i blamed myself for each failed relationship, and how id spend nights trying to figure out a way to fix myself. How i felt like i wasnt meant to be Happy with anyone and how i stuffed it all down deep and dealt with it only in my most private moments.

...And Then i told him about How I Met her in my Junior Year of High School. The Class was Anatomy, a class full of 24 teenagers with the worlds Laziest Teacher. It was the First Day, and I walked in to a semi empty classroom with kids walking around, picking out a seat for the rest of the semester. the desks all faced forward, in groups of twos in four rows across. I took a seat on the outside Left side around the Middle. I just dropped my Bag and sat in my Seat, waiting for the class to start, checking my phone every now and Again.

And the seats began to fill up, the Desk next to me taken by a Tall Nerdy looking kid with blonde hair and Garth Glasses, A KId i Befriended. Daniel Butttruck. Thats not how you spell the last name but thats how it sounds lol. So i named him Butt Truck and thats his name to this day lol.

The Chair in front of Daniel on the right was taken by a Friend of Daniels, A glasses clad Girl name Aly, And all you need to know about her is that she has a IQ just North of a Bedroom Slipper.

And lastly, A Girl In crutches slowly approached the chair in front of me, and slid into the Chair as the class started. She had a big black velcro Boot strapped to her Leg, and it stuck out into the walkway on our left a bit. She had Dark Hair that was cut into a really cute short style. At first i didnt really notice her until a few weeks into the semester where the Teacher flipped the front two desks around, making Pods of 4. So Now She Faced me and Aly faced Dan on the right.

Thats When i noticed her.

She had Brown Eyes that shone slightly, like Fine Wood Tarnished to a Dark Brown Mixed with Lighter Browns. Her nose was a small little Button Nose between her prominent Cheekbones that raised when she smiled. She didnt Wear much Makeup, or at least looked like she didnt. I remember to this day about how i would see her smile and laugh a bit as we all got comfortable as a group, me cracking Jokes and being dumb some days, with Days. As time passed i began to Notice her more. I began picking her out in the hallways as i walked to class. Sometimes I would say Hi and see her reaction.She was like me in some ways, wasnt a morning person, and had the same sense of Humor. I remember the time Dan Told us about how he Broke his Leg at Blizzcon.

Yeah, if youre not 12 years old, Dan was the Kid who Broke his Leg in like 2006 at Blizzcon Dancing like a Zombie. He was on Tosh.O or was going to be? ill ask him next time i see him lol. Anyway, hes telling us this story and Maria and I are Freaking Out because we realized he is Internet Famous, and Laughed Like Crazy.

Soon enough, I went from saying hi when i saw her to stopping by her morning class to say hi and chat, since my morning class was down the hall from hers, then sometimes wed walk toward our next class. Mind You, i Was a Junior at 17-going on 18, and Maria was two years younger than me. I never tried to flirt with her, but i enojoyed talking to her. I remember clearly One Winter Morning as i walked in from the Bus Lanes to my Morning Government Class, I see her standing by her Morning classroom, i dont remember what it was. She had her phone and was tapping away on it. I quickened my Pace as i passed her, and called out, “Maria!” she popped her head up and looked at me, and i Flipped her off. She gave a look of Confusion and laughed, walking into her classroom as the bell rang. I remember giggling to myself as i sat down, then asking myself, “Why the fuck did i do that for?? Idiot!”

That was the beginning of my Senior Year, Graduated 2011. We didnt have much contact after i Graduated, while i did the little schooling i did do, and work at that God Awful Produce Factory that first year out of High School.It wasnt until about a year or so later, when i started my job at Wal-Mart and Moved in with Christian. i remember it being Spring When i Saw Her Again. I Was collecting carts to put back in the cart corral, when i heard a Girls Voice Call my Name out in the Parking Lot.

I look out towards Barros Pizza in the plaza and i saw her Again.

It was a Bright Sunny Day, Not too Hot yet in the Summer. Her Hair had grown a bit longer, but still had its shape. She wore a Bright Yellow SunDress with Sunflowers on it. I remember how Cute i thought it was on her. I remember this moment so clearly because it was in that moment i felt something inside my heart. Like a Spark running through it.

I smiled and walked out to meet her, she had two of her other friends with her, they had been eating at Barros. Maria Hugged me and Asked me how i had been, and i told her about how i started working there and i live on my own now, looking into colleges. We chatted for a few minutes before i had to go back to work. I asked for her number to text with and, she walked off. As i went back inside i remember the times in Anatomy with our little group, and how i used to enjoy chatting with her. it also made me Remember the day i flipped her off, Years ago. As i lay down in bed that night, I remember thinking of her and telling myself, “you know, i think she would be an awesome Girlfriend.”

Months Passed and i hadnt had much Contact with Maria. I had my own problems at the time and i remember that period of my life to be so unstable i didnt want to date a girl and Live there lol. But i would text her every now and then and wed talk for a bit. I remember her dating someone at the time, and living with them. One Night in Particular I noticed she was posting on Tumblr and it seemed like she was Upset. So i Texted her and asked if she was doing alright. She said she was fine, but shes too much like me, i say that just to get people to leave me alone. I text back that she can talk or vent to me, that i didnt mind. And she did. She began to talk about her Relationship with her BF and how they rarely see each other because of work schedules and School. She told me she was thinking of just packing her things and leaving while he was at work. I told her, “Do what you have to do. if you arent happy, why are you there?”

i texted about a week or so later. She left him. She Began talking about moving to Portland With a Friend, and Getting out of AZ. I remember being bummed out at the news, my feelings for her had began to grow. I decided to step away for awhile, let those feelings go away. It must have been around 3 or 4 months later, or longer? But anyway, i see her posting on Tumblr Again, and i send her a DM asking how shes been, and if she moved to Oregon. She replied back and said her Friend Flaked, and that she really didnt want to go anyway. She says to text her, and i Ask for her Number Again.

From then on, we talked semi often every couple days, more and more often as time passes. Finally, one Day i ask her to hangout sometime, go to the arcade, play air hockey. We had been talking pretty often by then, but no obvious flirting or anything. We meet up at the arcade and we take turns playing different games, Giant Connect Four, Air Hockey, Ticket Games. She bought me a little T rex with her tickets, i named him Revan. Then we just sat on a couch and People watched those who walked in. I remember feeling her arm against mine as we sat together, and Me leaning in Quickly and kissing her cheek, and Seeing her Smile.

About 4 or 5 more little Dates Later, I ask her if she would be serious, because i wanted to be.

Her Face Brightened as i saw her give the biggest Smile i ever seen from her, and she said Yes.

I told Isaiah how as the first year passed, i had been drunk off the happiness i had at the time. As i learned more about Maria, the more attractive she was to me. She is unlike any woman ive ever met before, or have met since. I told him about how i talked about her to my friends all the time, how smart she was, how she volunteered at a Funeral Home Embalming Bodies and playing with Corpses like a Badass.

Then came my 22nd Birthday, on the first year we were dating in 2014. I didnt even want a present from her, she was all i wanted any day. I dont know why i never told her things like that. She Baked me Fudge Brownies after work on the week of my birthday, and i was more than happy.

Then she pulled a box out of Nowhere, Smiled That Warm Smile i Had come to Adore, and Said “Happy Birthday Babe!”

Before that Moment, i Cant recall a time that i was genuinely Surprised like that. I remember the words stopping in my throat and jumbled with the ones i had tried to say Next. Genuine Excitement as i opened the Long Brown Box. I opened the top flap and pulled the Styrofoam Casing to the Rectangle stick inside, Bright White with a Black Line going Down along the Length of it. And inbetween the space in the Line at the Hilt, Was the Red and White Sigil of the Uchiha.

A fucking Uchiha Sword! Like i was in actual Disbelief when i Realized. And what i explain next i never told anyone other than Isaiah that night.

I had to Try my Hardest to keep from Crying in that moment. Not because i loved the Gift she had gotten me, and how she made it a surprise, Something no one has done for me before.

It was because i remember a couple weeks before,as we scrolled Netflix one evening, i Saw Naruto on the list. I geeked out and asked you if you ever watched it, and began geeking out about it to her. I Made her watch some of my favorite episodes, and she would playfully Tease me about it. As My birthday neared, i came home from work one day to watch some Naruto Myself, and Booted up Netflix.

Someone went about 4 episodes ahead of where we Left off Last. I was at Work, and it was her Netflix Account. She actually started watching it because of how much i told her i liked it. Then She picked out something SHE thought i would like, instead of asking what I wanted like My Lazy Ass does.

No one had ever shown interest in Me like that before, and it touched me right in that moment. I blocked all emotion and was all smiled as i Hugged her Maria and told her how much i loved it. That thing was glued to my hip for like 2 months straight, i would get high after work and watch old Samurai and Ninja Movies, and act out the sword fighting with it. I even slept with it for the first Week.

In the days after that, i saw Maria in a whole new Light. I always knew the Maria who had her walls up to Anyone, the “i really dont care,” attitude she had when she was grumpy in the mornings. I got a glimpse at the Maria That was Behind that wall, The Real Maria.

Who Was sweet, considerate, and Generous. Loving and who could make me laugh.

Ever since that i saw that small glimpse of Her, My heart swelled and pumped blood thrice as hard, and my hands would shake and my mouth would get dry.

I was Falling in Love with you.

Hours have Passed, its Around 2 AM. The Line of Coke has me at Full Speed still, having plenty to say still. Isaiah just sits and drinks, giving the odd acknowledgement every couple of Sentences.

The months after my Birthday have passed, and things seem great between Maria and I. If i only knew what i know now.....

If i had just Put more Faith in You, and in my Heart. It Kills me to know how things would be if i had just manned up and told you how you made me feel....

After the first year, the strain began. We both worked. I had the accounting Job with the Contracting Company, and Maria was Working at a local Kids clothing store, and Volunteered at the Funeral Home, Along with her classes, AND she tutored.

i understood she had a full plate alot of the the time, not to mention the headaches and pains she would have. And that time of the month the poor girl was in pain Constantly. So i didnt get upset or mad when she didnt have time to visit or was too tired from work. we were always talking.

But eventually the Strain and My past would come to Signal the End. it was August, 2015. My brother had fallen Behind on his Mortage Payments on his house, and needed to make a payment ASAP or he would lose the House. Naturally i gave him all the spare cash i could to keep a roof over our heads.

Unfortunately, It left me Penniless during the Month of August, which Marias Birthday was in. I Felt Like Complete Shit but i was in a corner. I apologized to her and promised to make it up to her. It wasnt a big deal to her, but i just hated that it made me look like i dont give a shit.

I had an Ace an hole, Though. i Saved a link to a site that makes Custom Rings that Maria had posted in Tumblr that she really liked and wanted. I ordered it and did it early enough to get it before Christmas. It was already Too Late.

Maria was beginning to grow distant, not replying as soon or as often before. the replies getting shorter and shorter, the tone colder and colder. As we approached My birthday again, I plan a Group event with my friends and family, cause last year we went Paintballing and Maria wasnt there, she had work and class.

So im thinking of what i could do for a group, and i see that Charlie Murphy is doing a show ON my Birthday, a Friday! It was Perfect. I called and Reserved seats for everyone, ordered Bottle Service, i was so excited!

I texted Maria Telling her About the Comedy show and Date of My Birthday. She says she cant make it cause of work, she gets off at around 12. I was Bummed, but I understood.

The Big Day comes and it starts off great. Work was a Breeze, and Maria greeted me with a Warm Happy Birthday first. As the day progressed Everything seemed Normal. As evening sets, we all get ready to go to the show. 8 o clock, Showtime!

it was a Fantastic Show, me and all my Friends and Family drinking and Laughing our Asses off. The only thing missing was Maria. I texted her before the show saying id text her after it was over. it woulda been near to midnight, and she coulda met up with us. The show ends around 1040, and the manager says we can finish off the bottles in the bar. Me and my Friends stay, and start getting Tanked.

Midnight Comes, and i text Maria asking if she was off yet and if she wanted to come meet us. Time passes, and no reply.

she probably went home and crashed, she was probably tired, I think, as it wasnt Abnormal for her to Nap during the Day or whenever she could. So i check Facebook, and it Hits me.

A friend Tagged her and some friends at Westgate, not Long ago.

My heart Goes into FreeFall in My stomach.

Why would she be at Westgate After work? did she Ignore my Text...? why...?

My insecurites flared, and i assumed the worst. I remember everything going Quiet around me, My heart Hammering in my chest, blocking out all other noise.

i Shouldve just called. i Shouldve had more Faith in you, and what i Meant to you.

When every girl you date cheats on you and leaves, in a Row, it was hard not to assume the worst, when the worst is what always happens to you.

I remember the tears welling up in my eyes as i get up to go outside the bar. She went to go out with her friends, and she knew it was my Birthday Today....

It didnt make any sense to me, it all seemed so unbeliveable. But ive been wrong before. And add the excessive Alcohol, you get a Recipe for a Terrible Mistake.

I wasnt Dumb, I knew Maria and I were Drifting apart, Our schedules getting more and more hectic. My job stressing me the fuck out day after day, Marias Packed Schedule.

I was so fucking stupid. Why did i wait? Why didnt i just drop to my knees and tell her when i look at her eyes, i feel like i could do anything. That when she was in my arms i Felt like i needed to become a Better man for her. Why did i wait?

December. Jerkoff Hipster making her ring is falling behind, gonna need a couple more weeks. delivery date mid Janurary. I Threw A fucking Fit. i could feel it all slipping away, no matter what I did. Why did i Wait?

I was so Terrified of Opening up to you, and you not feeling the same way. The Thought of looking into your eyes and telling you that i was in love with you, and i wanted to be with you forever, or until i died. I was Terrified of looking into your eyes and Shooting me down. The texts got shorter and shorter. only strengthening My doubts and Fears.

Christmas. The Ring wasnt Ready yet. Another Fucking Embarassment. She got me a Captain Phasma Painting and some Marvel Shirts. I tell you, “look, i ordered this is time to get it for Christmas, but the Guy Got Delayed and it wasnt ready yet, but... i showed you the Ring on my Phone.

It was the last smile i Saw on you in Person.

So many oppurtunities, wasted. so fucking Stupid. I promise to make it up to you.

Down to One Word Answers, or no Reply at all.

Janurary 2016. Hiroshima.

Valentines Day is Coming, Ill have the Ring Then! and i ordered a Cute little Stuffed Corgi to go with Some Flowers and a nice Romantic Date! i order everything and wait.

You came over one week, and seemed in such a foul mood, i couldnt place it. I thought you were in Pain Probably. I tried to cuddle you, kiss your cheek, you clearly dont want the affection. I try something alittle more...Adult.

You Grabbed my Wrist, and Yanked my Hand away, throwing it off you. I was in Shock. I still remember the look you Gave me that night, Clear as day. That Piercing Glare, Looking Right at me. Pure Anger. and Pain.

Youre replies, in thier Rarity, lacked no padding for thier sharp edges. I believe its all Over Now.

Late January 2016.

You came over one Last time. We had Sex one last time. I remember grabbing you after the first go around as you got up and laid you back down. I was such a Fool.

The Ring was Delivered that Weekend. Monday i text you to see when your free to visit next, your ring is ready and i wanted to see if it fit correctly. You reply your busy tomorrow. i ask with what? you reply with: Concert. i ask What concert. You say: Tribal Seeds.

You stopped Replying After That. The Next Day i texted you again asking when can you come hangout and see your Ring?

You Broke up with me after that.

It felt like everything around me had fallen below me, and all that was left was the dark and Silence. Typing about it now makes the Hole in my heart Ache. I remember how hard the Rain Poured that Night.....As i Cried along with it.

And it was only the Beginning for me.

The first weeks after that day are a blur to me. Either Too Many Drugs Or too Many Drinks, take your pic. i was Broken. One moment you were there, you were mine, and i was gonna fix everything come Valentines Day. I had a Nice Romantic Dinner planned, then a Scenic Walk where i would show you the ring and tell you that even though were having a Rough Patch right now, that i loved you and i wanted to do everything i can to prove it to you.

But you Had other plans didnt you?

God i can still feel my heart when I saw pictures of you and Him....I dont know how to Describe how Painful it was to see. It was only Feb, and you were already with someone else? Posting Valentines Shit? I cried for hours, I begged for you not to be like the others, To just leave me for Someone Else so Fucking Fast, like i was Nothing to you.

But thats how it went down, though. Didnt it?

Friends for over 5-6 Years, Lovers for 2.

I couldnt even get a goodbye.....Just a Text. Was that all i was worth, to you?

You got with him within Weeks of Dumping me. Yet your Tumblr youre heartbroken and sad. It was like i had Entered into some NIghtmare.

within the First Two Weeks, I dropped four Hits of Acid at Once. I wanted to Escape. Instead i jumped right into it. I see you posting on Tumblr. Sad, Depressing things. Your Tags show how you deleted the texts from your phone, even though you didnt want to. How you could literally see in your texts of your declining Affection for me. In the end, It was my own doing.

With the Courage of Acid, I messaged you. I ask if your okay, and you ask why, like i dont see your posts, like i dont possibly know why you could be feeling so sad. Even then, at the end, you couldnt be honest with me.

I ask you Maria cant we please Talk?

You say About what? Like you thought i was stupid.

And thats when i just finally, for the first time, although Far too Late. I opened up to you.

I remember Anatomy.

I Remember You At Barros that Day

I Remember Air Hockey at the Arcade.

I remember The Birthday Gift.

The Words poured out then like they do now, The Spark you set in my Heart was the most important thing to me.

Whatever i needed to do to make it work, no matter what, just please dont give up on me.....

You may as well as shot me dead with your reply.

“if you had said that before, things would be Completely different.”

“saying it Now doesnt Mean Much to me now”

Those words still Haunt Me, A Year Later. And it is not even the worst to come.

You Had the verdict long before i even knew. You Found my “dating Profile” Online, and didnt say anything. just let it stew inside you. As we grew apart it hurt to see you just blatantly ignore my messages. So i used that profile to look at women, nothing else. It was only on My Birthday i Night i Made a Mistake i Will Regret forever. Maria wasnt there, she was with her friends. she didnt want to come here, or answer my texts. she chose to be with my friends. I was always the girls’ Second Choice. I got Drunk. I got Upset. I wanted Petty Revenge. I cheated. I Dont even Remember her Name or what she really looked like. Never should have done it.

A month Passes. March. I ask to still be friends, and how i missed you. We start talking again, almost like how it used to be. Tagging each other in posts again.But i also See him. Concerts, posts, tags. It tore me apart. Some Days i would wake up at 4 AM from my alarm for work, and Your Face would be the first thing i see in my head. The Tears would flow before i could even open my eyes for the first time. I try to get you to meet up with me, so we can talk. After i opened up that night you agreed we should talk. Then you just changed your mind....You Said give it time, walk the path, smell the Roses, and maybe we can start again...

My heart is Pumping like a cannon as i go into detail for Isaiah, how i became a madman, was so motivated by the mere notion that MAYBE there was a CHANCE we could work it out later. I couldnt be stopped. I drank Nothing but Water, ate only Chicken, Raw Veggies, Salmon and Fish, and cut out ALL sugar and breads. I dropped 30 pounds in a Month, and was in great shape for a fight at the gym i trained at. I would watch these Inspirational videos everymorning at 3 AM, just to run for an hour. I posted everything on Snapchat, Only Because i Wanted Maria to see it. I was so Optimistic...

April 2016.

Family Vaction in Mexico. A week with a private beachfront Villa and as much Booze as i can drink. i go in with Gusto. The Villa Has Wifi, can keep up with your posts.tagged me in some. Then the posts about him.

I hated how it made me feel to read them. He had what i wanted for us. Our own Place. Just Us. and a Dog.

He took My Place and it Ate me Alive from the Inside.

I stayed up all night, drinking tequila by the shot, playing Toro Y moi and Chain smoking. I watched the reflection of the moon dance on the waves, and thought of you. When i hear the Ocean, and nights when the Moon is Large and Beautiful, i think of you.

I Broke that night......

I knew there was no Path, no flowers to smell.

There was no Second Chance.

I Lost her.

And i couldnt get her back. She didnt want me anymore.

she wants someone else now, and when i Think about it I have to imagine Flames burning the thoughts away.

I guess after that night, i lost my motivation, i Wised up.

And i knew i had to come clean to you. It was the hardest thing i ever did.

It hurts so much still, looking back. Im So sorry...

Even after i hurt you that day, i still saw a sliver of you come through your walls.

I begged for you in time to forgive me, and over time we could be friends again. Let me earn back your trust, understand i made a Terrible Mistake and im willing to do anything to make it work.

Most people would have told me to go to hell and never talk to them again.

But not you. Not even then.

You Said, “ Maybe in time i will forgive you. maybe i wont. Depends on how i feel. for now you should make yourself scarce.”

I was stunned,,,those words hung on me for months after. Did you really mean that, Maria?

And that was the last time i heard from you for awhile...i remember Breaking down at work....The Silence hurt the most. No Texts, No Posts, Nothing.

Not only did i lose the woman i Love, I lost a dear Friend as well...

When i Returned home, i Quit Training, I quit the fight, I quit Dieting. That deep, Dark Hole you brought me out of, Maria.....when i saw you that day....I went Right Back in.

since May 2016 i was in a hole that i could not get out of. sure, i made it look like i was living the life on snapchat, but in reality, on the inside, i was so broken. Then Life Decided to kick me while i was down, and Took my Bonnie away from me. As if it couldnt get worse. My Brother and I Bawled as they put her to sleep. I was so fucking Lost.....

So i texted the one person who maybe might put up with my Bullshit....You.

and you were nice, you coulda kicked me when i was down and wouldve been justified. But you heard me out....More of that Real you shining through.

It is 4 AM now. i have spent all night telling this story to Isaiah, who has listened intently this whole time.

I tell him how after the months of Bonnies Death, I just didnt leave the house. Tried my Best to leave you be and not see shit that would kill me on the inside. The days became Quiet and Lonely. your presence in Tumblr becomes less and less active.

I hardly see you or your posts anymore...

i harden my heart and try move on.

Then i see your posts about your health. the doctor scare, Lupus.

I felt so bad, and worried i wanted to see if you were okay, even though i knew you hate my guts.But i worried and Worried and finally said fuck it and just sent a message saying i heard what youre going through, im sorry, i hope you get better soon, if you need anything, please ask

I wasnt expecting a Response, Yet you sent one : Thanks for Caring.

couldnt expect more than that, so i leave it be.

That Night, Maria makes a post.

Its About me.

My heart jumped into my throat and got stuck. My hands shook as i held my phone.

I didnt completely erase you out of my life.

i still think about you, from time to time.

Thank you for texting me today.

thank you for still caring about me.

Despite the shit i post on here, I still Care about you too.

And No its not the drugs Talking.

I read and Re-Read that post thousands of times in the following months. On Bad Days, Days where i wanted to give up. I read that post and it kept me going. First time reading it i Cried for hours. It was as if God heard a prayer.

To see you say that you still cared.....you will never know what that did. how that felt for me. Even Now it makes me tear up.

My heart didnt hurt as much after that, it healed some of it. I was always confused with Maria. One moment she says she cares, then comes off as your nothing to her. i never knew which was which.

and now, as the year came to face my Birthday again. There was only one thing i wanted. truly wanted. and if i got it, getting nothing else from anybody wouldnt even fucking matter.

I just wanted you to say Happy Birthday.

I didnt think you would. i thought you would have moved on by now, enjoying youre new life with him. I couldnt bleed about it any longer. i took the pieces of my heart and piece it back together again. i began to accept reality. and the pain began to dull.

NOV. 20th 2016

Saturday.

Woke up Early and went out to the woods to do some shooting. all day there. Head back for some Missouri BBQ, and get ready to get Blackout drunk Tonight. Night Goes well, Got trashed, had fun, Fought a couple dudes, enjoyed myself.

Got back to Devins Late that night. Eat Chocolate BDAY cake drunk.

Head off for bed. I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the time. 9:40 PM

She isnt gonna say it. Oh well.

go to your blog to lookup your post to make me feel better.

Read the words, smile and Remember. Pain Begins to set in.

back out of tags to leave, see another tag you never seen before.

“C and I”

click tag link.

Heart Explodes in my Chest, Breath Frozen in throat.

Its a picture. of us. Smiling.

the Caption Read:” I know i have trouble expressing my emotions and feelings and stuff but this guy right here means the world to me. Hes sweet, caring and Funny and---”

I couldnt read the Rest. I began to Cry Non Stop, Like someone Just Told Me my mother was Murdered.

I couldnt stop it, couldnt control myself. The pain was so much. Each one more painful to look at. How did i never see them? How??

I couldnt do it anymore. I couldnt keep taking the pain of it. I deserved to be Happy too..

its been two months since that day.

its been over a year since i last seen you with my own eyes, heard your voice....

And now we reach the end of this story. i force myself to block out the memories, remember nothing.

I have to move on with my life....

and yet....after saying all that Isaiah, which After i had finished, 8 hours had passed. 8 hours i poured out my soul. such a weight had been lifted, it felt so good for someone to hear me out...

so i finish this sad story, and Isaiah asks me one question: How do you feel about her now?

I stayed quiet for a good amount of time. i mulled it over. every memory. Good. the Bad. The Ugly. and i finally settled upon:

I miss her, Isaiah. Not like a lover misses his spouse, but like a friend who helped another Grow.

I hope to see you again one day, Maria.

#m #personal #tldr #my soul

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 4 years

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2018 end of year banquet day and lead up to it

with two posts in a row like about sean and last one mentioning the end of year banquet I reminded myself of the 2018 end of year banquet which is quite possibly the best day of my life so far

its important to note that it was a very rainy summer and I only had one pair of sneakers and one pair of shower shoes

since it was so rainy and its a scout camp not a resort camp kinda thing there were huge puddles everywhere which the kids loved but I had to walk through several large puddles several times a day to get to the nature lodge and remember, I only have sneakers so I ended up getting trench foot (2018s thing, every year has a health thing) and me being me I didn't do anything about it except eventually start limping bc it hurt too much otherwise but my last work project the day before the end of year banquet day was my aunt (lake director at the time) and I carrying the fire stations (essentially 2x4 basket holding a rake, a shovel, and a bucket or two) from campsites to the trails and I got to the last one before I couldn't ignore it anymore so im 5′2″ barely 110lbs and the fire stations were pretty darn heavy so I couldn't limp for fear of breaking my ankle or smth so I walked normally but it hurt so much that when I set it down I cried and it took a bit for me to stop and explain what was happening so my aunt took me to the health officer and he told me what it was and what I had to do and I got to shower in the health lodge (which was amazing bc while the staff showers are clean enough they are nothing compared to the health lodge shower that also had hot and cold handles instead of the preset temp six second buttons that the staff showers and pool house showers have) but I had to keep my feet dry and clean so I had to stay in the dining hall all day the next day to set up for the banquet

banquet day which I did but I was getting a little stir-crazy stuck in dhall all day when camp is my only freedom and im so used to being outside and working there so my brain was a little confused like yo this is camp not school I shouldn't be stuck in one building for half my day so when we needed more lights from hart lodge I literally jumped at the opportunity to leave it was drizzling when I left the dining hall but hart lodge is like five minutes away and there was supposed to be a work crew there that could let me in but I took the road bc its shorter and flatter instead of the trail and the crew mustve taken the trail at the same time bc when I got there, no one was around and like I said I was going a little stir-crazy earlier and felt like I needed to do smth wild so I came to the conclusion to break into hart lodge to get the lights instead of walking five minutes to get someone with the keys to just let me in and no one was around so I was think aloud and the moment I decided to just break in, it started to pour and I mean that seems like a sign to not do it right well I was going to anyway and not too long after I started to try, my boss (the favorite adult) and another co-worker showed up bc they needed smth from hart lodge and they had the keys so they let me in and I returned to dhall soaking wet (in a white t-shirt and my boss told my aunt cause he was a little concerned with my attire as a young girl essentially wearing a see through shirt surrounded by a bunch of teen boys and she came to me about it saying he was concerned and I didn't even realize bc I didn't know what I looked like it hadn't occurred to me but im glad I don't get embarrassed easily) to string the lights and finish everything there and when all work projects were done, we had some free time before the banquet so I told sean, my bsf, that I wanted to break into hart lodge and seans down to do anything so we go to hart lodge to break in but we didn't plan ahead we just had whatever was on us which wasnt much at all (it was staff week so we didn't have to wear class b so I was in a t-shirt and exercise shorts with no pockets so the only thing I had on me was my spider knife clipped to the hem of my shorts) our first thought was to walk up the roof of the basement that conveniently started a few inches from the ground (its on a hill) and try to get into one of the windows from there but that didn't work now admin was going through some things and the interim camp director had done a cleansing of hart lodge which previously was just a big place for whatever needed storing and that cleansing brought out a lot of stuff to sit in front of the lodge until we got the big metal trash box the next day so I grabbed a plastic crate to put on top of a wooded chest I had rolled down earlier to a single floor outset room with a lower roof than the rest of the building that was three floors and it got me like three feet higher but before I could figure out how to actually get on the roof from there, sean made me get down see our relationship is that he’ll make me get down from the crate on top of the chest so I don't hurt myself and then two minutes later place me in a puddle when im getting over trench foot and eventually we gave up trying (though I don't think sean ever really tried to break in bc I fully believe he could with no trouble, I think he just came along bc I was excited about trying) and we sat in the west qm shed which is actually the wood shed and we talked for a while now you might've noticed I said banquet day but I haven't talked about the banquet don't worry, its coming faster than you think as it did for us because as we sat in the shed, we heard the drums for evening colors so evening colors is the daily ceremony where we lower the flags before dinner and colors is in class a and the banquet, a very important and quite formal event, is also in class a and the drums are camp band signifying the start of colors and if u remember, sean and I arent even in class b and we had no idea what time it was bc neither of us had a watch or our phones but colors is starting so we got up and bolted to the staff site to change and class a is supposed to be sneakers or boots with bsa socks, bsa shorts or pants, bsa belt, any scout shirt, and a specific bsa shirt buttoned over that with the shirts tucked in and everything neat (and most camp staff girls do smth nice with their hair) and neither of us had any of that on and the girls cabin is a quarter mile from the rest of camp so I kept a bag in seans shack with my shower stuff and class a and anything else I might need during to day so I don't waste time going back to korman so we speed changed (yes I am a girl, yes sean is a boy, yes we changed in front of each other, no we didn't stripe to do so, no were not dating, no we wont be, were just close friends who were rushed and comfortable enough with each other) (but that's really frowned upon so if bsa asks this was a piece of creative writing) (think for legal reasons, this is a joke) and we sprinted to the wall for colors and halfway there sean said he forgot his belt and turned around to get it, he did not end up on the wall for colors but I went out a stood at the end, next to my director (my boss, favorite adult) who questioned why I was late so its a good thing sean decided not to get on the wall next to me bc the majority of camp staff was already convinced we were fucking even though I was dating someone else who was also at camp (ha ha part of the reason I broke up with him was bc he was jealous of sean though I only know him bc of sean and he was jealous of some of my other guy friends at camp though male staff outnumbered female staff that year like 6 to 1 so idk what he was expecting but anyway were close friends now so its chill) but we ended up sitting together at the banquet and I don't really remember what we ate but after eating, a co-worker put a Styrofoam bowl full of whipped cream onto my directors head (I feel like I cant call him my boss in this situation bc while he is my boss, his boss and his boss’s boss were also present) now my director was in the middle of a conversation with one of the important camp guests and while covered with whipped cream, he shook the other mans hand and said ‘it was nice talking to you, if youll excuse me...” and bolted after the co-worker who ran out the door now both of these men are like 6 foot 200 lbs and they don't often run so ofc all of staff followed and they tousled for a bit then kinda got over it and when we all walked back in, the spring had torn from the door so sean got up to get screws and a drill and fix it in the meantime, my director retaliated with two cans of whipped cream directly in the co-workers hair see when my director got hit, he easily wiped it off bc he shaves his head weekly but the co-worker has lots of bushy hair that whipped cream likes to stick to and by the time sean finished with the door, his seat was taken as well as all the other seats at our table so we shared a seat as he ate a bowlful of blocks of butter (much to my protests) and we watched the video of the year and the award giving portion of the banquet began now the co-worker who “pied” my director tried again but on the camp commissioner instead who was the sweetest, most adorable person but he failed as my director stepped seemingly out of nowhere and at the last second, slapped the whipped cream bowl into the co-workers face the rest of the banquet continued without interruption which wasnt hard as it ended soon after which brings us to the post-banquet staff swim its supposed to be a surprise to first years but someone usually forgets and they all find out anyway but it goes like this we take everything out of our pockets and some people take off their socks and shoes and all the staff climb up on the wall we stand on for colors (its like four inches at the lowest and four feet at the highest) and I love standing at the highest part because we get called by how many years weve been on staff and you jump off the wall and race across the parade field to the open gates of the pool and jump in, in class a and we all swim around for a bit playing I have your hat which is an imitation game where someone calls out “I have ___’s hat” and tosses it and whoever catches it, imitates that person theyre usually really funny but occasionally someone says smth that doesn't make sense but no ones mean and its really nice then we showered and hung out for a bit before going back to korman to sleep

the end

ps I was going to write a post after this on the 2019 banquet but now its like 4:30am and that's a good time to go to sleep so I might write about it tmw

pps I really said “if bsa asks this was a piece of creative writing” talking about changing in front of a friend when I spent 17 lines beforehand on breaking into a bsa building and didn't even think that that might be something that's also frowned upon, perhaps more

#theres so much going on I don't know what to tag #summer camp #end of year banquet #shananagins #fun times #best day of my life #so far #best friend #wild

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comicteaparty · 6 years

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August 30th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on August 30th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on The J-Man by Jonny Aleksey.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing The J-Man by Jonny Aleksey~! (http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/thelatestpage/) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question for participants to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer! If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comic~! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

HI THERE JONNY

sorry I'll stop the caps locking

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

should I answer the questions too?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Well, I guess my favorite scene to design was the final pages of #4

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

if you want to answer the questions i wont stop you. though this is basically the only one thats non spoiler-y

and anything specific you liked about designing those pages?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

There was a lot of quiet still shots . I enjoy writing dialouge enough but visual emotion is more interesting to me.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think that shows through the comic throughout. not that the dialogue or other aspects are poor, mind you. but i do think the comic shines strongest when its relying on the visuals.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Agreed.

The comic has a really great art style that lends itself really well to action and dramatic scenes

And the expressive characters

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah. although definitely the action. theres something in the movements that feels immensely fluid.

ironically though, i think my favorite scene is the end of #5. i enjoyed the emotional drama of jonny realizing that the world simply just isnt this easy to define black and white thing. and i think that just adds a good emotional layer that helps followup on the fact that #3 had that sense of moral grayness as well. i also just liked seeing jonny having his own little folders for villains. thats just kind of cute. practical but cute.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I just wonder when our boy the J-Man will return

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

(working on next ish

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

yessssss

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

#3 was probably the first true character arc in the comic

I'm glad it followed up nicely so far

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Good to hear

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes and im really enjoying the balance of the villains. like theres this great moral grayness to them where their motives and backstories are sympathetic. but i like that in this case it doesnt go too far. like the story keeps it clear that nah, theyre sympathetic and have dimension, but theyre 100% the villain and need to be stopped.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh, Jonny, I have something to report, if you don't mind

http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/jonny-concept-art

I think the images here are broken

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

oh yeah. I haven't gotten around to fixing that.

There's just so much to do in one day :0

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I can imagine

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I keep putting stuff like that aside so I can work on the archive stuff.

but Justin what's your fav scene. I really wanna know.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes do tell SJ

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Crap uhh It's been so long ago

http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/thelatestpage/125 bu I'd say this scene was a pretty fun one

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Oh yeah, that took a long time to make.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

how long?

if ya remember

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Probably the whole day

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

wow, that quickly huh?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I wonder if anyone noticed that pipe gag.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe but definitely not me. now i see it and thats a fantastic detail.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

i never saw it either

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I like sign jokes a lot. Probably cause of The Simpsons.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

i can see that

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i want to say i really like jonny's costume design. i like the contrast of colors but i also like how its this mix of superhero and street clothes. i think it really expresses his personality well that this is his choice of uniform.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I remember when he was drawn with rainbow colors one time

as a joke

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

The rainbow would make a cool special short sometime.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

nice

Aw yeah now I remember

you were doing a Q&A

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

His suit got more "professional superhero" as it went along but I'll be damned if he ever loses his sneakers.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

aw yea

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf sneakers seem very comfy for fighting

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

indeed

for me my footwear of choice are boots

cause they hit hard

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Made it. ^.^ I liked the scene where Abe gave Johnny the costume. Like, I know you're not going to quit this, so I've got your back. And you be styling.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

MATH

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

He'll wear boots in the winter

yo!

That was very nice of him.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

boots good for kicking?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

boots are made for walking

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

abe is the bestest of best friends. abe is the vip. has the costume, has the science, has the loyalty. A+ friend.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

you sure bout that

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Of all the threads in the comic, there is one that stands above the rest: Who is the Big-Man? What do you think the Big-Man’s ultimate goal is? Is he up to something big, or is his goal simply self-profit? We’ve also seen many people are in the Big-Man’s pockets. Do you believe they’ll stay loyal, or will one of them eventually bail and squeal on the Big-Man? What do you think will happen if Jonny discovers the identity of one of these accomplices? What if it is someone he knows? Do you believe, at current, that Jonny would be able to beat the Big-Man? Or do you believe the Big-Man has something up his sleeve? Lastly, what do you think the Big-Man’s next move will be in regards to dealing with Jonny? Will he continue to try and capture him, or will all efforts move to elimination?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Ok, this one I can't answer.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

you mean this one?

http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/assets/images/static/Sergei-Sternoff-Updated.png

cause he's pretty big

if you know what I mean

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

no not that one, but fair point. unless this was all a rouse. and if we think sergei is out of the picture well never suspect him of being the big-man O_O

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Sergei's just a hired goon. Not very bright.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

of course cause he has to follow the dumb muscle stereotype, is that it?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

(Just reading the backlog. Incidentally, I only made it to the end of #5, the two parter. Lots of pages!)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

That's pretty far. You only missed the prequel. (Hope we discuss that later)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I think I noticed that pipe gag in passing, it only really registered subconsciously.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i unfortunately did not include a question about the prequel cause i worried it was too far along, but the questions are optional. and so we can talk about it towards the end if we so choose.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

The Big-Man is actually Johnny himself, who time travelled back into the past and is now trying to set himself up to be a better superhero.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

that would be quite the twist

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

It's the reason he knows so much.

Actually, Big-Man's probably just an extra terrestrial.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

interesting theory

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is interesting and not something that occured to me

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh I also found this guy on the site

http://jonnyalekseydrawscomics.com/assets/images/static/Unknown-Man.png

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

who's dat??????

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

it's easy

it's [NAME REDACTED]

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

actually can even make that make sense. he was interested in that one energy project cause the big-man needs unlimited energy to get off earth and get home. big-man just homesick.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh yeah, and there's the Question too.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

so im gonna assume the big-man's goal is something like world domination. maybe on the underground black market level, but some sort of domination. but one thing from this question set i believe is that one of the ppl in his pockets is gonna squeal. someone somewhere is gonna get a conscience and be like, "nah maybe this is a bad idea."

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: I like it! It's why he's interested in the scientists too.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

because nothing like becoming the president for a day or two

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

idk, money doesn't talk

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Does Big-Man need world domination though? He's already got all the neatest gadgets, from the stuff used in the first chapter to whatever the heck hypnotized a scientist to smuggle out blood samples via camera feed.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Nonsense

they ALWAYS want world domination

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe shady Question guy is the squealer.

By the way, the smuggling of samples I think means Big-Man doesn't need to try and capture him. In fact, that whole thing could have been a ruse to distract from the real crime.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that is true. you could make an argument big-man already owns the world. he has no goal and is just playing with his toys. but then jonny came and he was like "a shiny new toy!?"

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Why not just grab Sleepy Bear though? Seems like an easier target somehow.

Guy's more sentimental. (Which is weird for an AI.)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

J-Mam is too protective of Sleepy to keep him out of his sight. Don't think it'd be easy to kidnap him.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats good. i think id be too horrified if sleepy got kidnapped.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

That is a good point. Would need a decoy.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

decoys fooling the big bad

Never fails to amaze me

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"Wait, you're not sleepy bear, you're... grumpy bear!"

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

i read that as "Sleepy Bar"

"Come get your Sleepy Candy Bars Today!"

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Sleepy Bar is what he's called in Boston

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think sleepy bear was a great addition. because partners are good. and like, its good for the j-man's image. nobody is gonna look at a superhero with a backpack bear and think he isnt the best superhero.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

XD(edited)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

good PR

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I also want to give a shotout of my own to Jonny's costume/outfit I like how it almost looks like he's in casual gear or something

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Honestly, sleepy bear creeps me out a bit. I think maybe because of that one panel where he was putting on the outfit, and it felt vaguely like the robot putting on someone else's skin just to blend in better.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

but then you see him from the front and

wait what

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

In terms of someone working for Big-Man who might flip, aside from mystery question man, it could be that female scientist person who got kidnapped.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

gonna blame FNAF. cause i did get FNAF vibes for a moment tbh

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

"Inhale my dong enragement child"

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

But that's why he wears the bear suit. Cause his robot body is scary.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

idk she seems unlikely to flip to me. mostly cause i dont think shes on the end that realizes the extent of evil. that one friend whose name i forget has a dad that got roped in though. and i think hes the most likely to flip and then jonny will be sad realizing the big-man is just basically everywhere.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

orly

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Jonah's dad is the most sympathetic character for me. Sleepy Bear too actually.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

There is that. Not sure I remember which friend you mean in context though.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Jonah Knoxford, Jonny's friend from Cali.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Oh, right! Kinda forgot about him, that's plausible.

Could be that Abe's scientist guy friend gets recruited too.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

it would be reluctantly if that happened

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Yeah, like I don't see him knowing what he's getting into there, but his discovery seemed like it'd be useful to evil purposes if they learned of it.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe theres a twist coming that jonah's dad wanted to protect jonah, but jonah was already working for the big-man the whole time.

to protect his dad

its the whole switcheroo double cross

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Since they're both Jonathans in a way

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Big twist: The big-man is actually the big-woman. It's Jonny's mom.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hahaha tbf i did consider that possibility. that maybe its a woman pulling the strings. just going pronoun wise by the fact its big-man. XD

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

How better to stay one step ahead of the police than to be married to the chief.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Big-Man could just be a code name

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually, it would make sense to obfuscate that way, everyone's looking for a guy, you're in the clear.

Big-Man... code... he is actually an AI.

An alien AI.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i like the alien theory over the AI personally speaking. if only cause an AI just keeps making me think of 2001 a space odyssey atm

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"I'm sorry, J-man. You can't do that."

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I'm sorry, J-Man. I'm afraid I can't do that.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 3. Jonny would not be the superhero he is today without the help of the mysterious substance Jaintium crashing to Earth. What do you think Jaintium even is? Is it just an undiscovered element as the scientists believe, some sort of sentient, alien being, or a bit of both? Why did the Jaintium-related entity save Jonny? Was he just a convenient host, or was it a good will attempt to save Jonny’s life? Was the Jaintium crashing on Earth a coincidence, or is there something more to it? Whatever the being was, do you think it and Jonny will continue to work symbiotically? Or is there some dark foreshadowing in the fact we often see a mental embodiment of it goading Jonny into more extreme methods? Do you think Jonny will suffer more side effects, whether they are for better (i.e. new powers) or worse? Do you think others will discover the origin of Jonny’s powers (besides those that know), and if so, what do you think will happen to people’s perception of The J-Man?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

The one answer I'm pretty sure about is that he was just a convenient host. It's interesting that both Jonny and the Alien had a presence inside, kind of making up the whole being.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

crap I stepped out for a bit, my apologies

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Technically, the superhero's name is just "J", isn't it? (That was an amusing bit, where it's like 'I can't use my name'.)

Waiting for the crossover with Q from Star Trek.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

at first. He's trying to get people to start using J-Man now

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

or Q from Street Fighter

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"Is this a Q&A? No, it's a Q&J, we're not answering anything."

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I would watch that

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I guess it's nice to be thought of as a "Man" when you're, y'know, still young.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

haha i did like him almost using his name and then being like "wtf self." i like how no one called him out on the fact that it sounded like he was going to say something else.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

"you da man now, dog"

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"I'm Jo... J... J. Jonah Jameson. Wait."

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

The next coming of Jojo's bizarre adventure?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do agree with math in that i think jonny was just a convenient host.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Yare yare daze.

One thing I kind of wonder, was Jonny actually dead? Like, can Element-J actually revive the freshly deceased? Or was Jonny still bleeding out?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

gonna go out on a limb and say that i think the crash to earth was a bit of both. in that i think whatever creature was in that meteor left its origin point for a reason but that arriving on earth was not intentional.

im assuming he was dead tbh O_O

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Ooo, I'm saving that question for a later issue, Math

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

itt Rebel influences the future of J-Man

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: I could go along with that. Might be that arriving on Earth was just the closest place that could support life.

Also, the element seems to be trying to get itself back together, based on Sleepy Bear. Maybe you can use it to find more of the same. They could track J-Man that way, figure out his identity.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

actually could be an interesting conflict. like mr. stone showing up in jonny's living room and then jonny's dad getting home and being like "ITS YOU!!!!!"

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"You have no chance to survive, make your time."

Though what if it's Abe's father who manages to figure out a way to track using the element? And he tells Jonny's dad?

Plus it is radioactive, even though the cells are preventing anyone from getting dosed. Maybe the half life is such that they can work something out based on concentration in the air.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

damn I should be writing this down

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

You're free to use anything you like as a red herring.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

this is going on the assumption theyd want to devote the resources to that atm. cause tbh theres probably a lot of other things to learn about the element first.

like why is it stable cause iirc past a certain point most elements are not stable

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: True. But if Big-Man's been stealing it, maybe the police want to track it to find HIM. J-Man's a fringe benefit.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and can only be made for a fraction of a moment

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually, maybe that's what grapple-girl was measuring. That time she poked J-Man in the eye.

I want to see more of her, incidentally.

I feel like she's that Megan person who had moved back into the area?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that was my thoughts exactly too

that it was this megan who was moving back

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

write it all down, please J

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Most of the mystery I have worked out. Just the little details I could use.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I feel like she'd have lots of cool gadgets, because she doesn't have superhero powers (that we know of).

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually, that's something I'll mention - at first, I thought the J-Man had kind of attracted more evil to him, what with bulking up Sergei and Big-Man sending in goons. The idea that superheros cause supervillains. But then there's been a few like Heatwave who already existed. So maybe not as much?

I wonder if Megan's defeated anyone.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i usually assume with superhero genres its a bit of both

that some ppl are already super powerful

but that superheroes attract more super powerful ppl to be made as well

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

hmm

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

which is logical

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

maybe

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

cause you cant do the evil unless you can neutralize the ppl who can stop you

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Makes sense to me.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and thats assuming the superhero lady is megan. it might not be even if we theorize the same. but the possibility exists.

i wonder if the jman's world has like a justice league or avengers equivalent

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

They work out of Sweden.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Maybe in the future. As of right now the only public-known supers are J-Man in New York and The Valve in Seattle. J-Man's on his own.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Until Abe gets his superpowers.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

there's more beings with superpowers in this world?

*shot

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Waiting for the issue where Abe and Jonny switch minds.

I'm not even sure which minds - J-Man's head is crowded.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

actually that was a point i thought that was worthy of discussion. is the being using jonny as a host sapient and when we see those mental manifestations were seeing the creature? or is the creature not really sapient and those manifestations are simply a side effect of the joining that sort of splits jonny's mind into extremes?

QUESTION 4. Besides the bigger mysteries, there are many, many smaller mysteries that have been left unanswered. Who is the shadow person who appeared to help Jonny when Jonny was fighting Sergei? Why did they help Jonny, and how did they know about the tranquilizer? Who was the mysterious masked person Jonny met before getting distracted by Abe’s father’s kidnapping? What was the masked person up to? Have we seen the last of Heat-Wave, or will Heat-Wave come back to exact revenge on Jonny or someone else? What about any of the other villains we’ve seen? Do you expect we’ll see them again, or will they stay away for good? On a less superhero level, do you think Jonny will continue to be able to keep his secret superhero life secret? Who do you think might find out next, how, and what will it affect? Finally, what do you think will happen if Jonny’s dad finds out The J-Man is his son?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I feel like it's sapient but still very confused by the Earth.

Good questions, I feel like I already talked about some of 'em.

I'm psychic.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

is masked lady who we assume is megan a crime fighter or is she more an antihero up to her own business that requires a hidden identity? that is a question we havent addressed

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I think she's up to her own business, but not necessarily an antihero.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Maybe

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Just fashion challenged.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

not a fan of black skin-tight suits?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Actually, maybe she's the blue character in the 'previously' art.

Jonny: .... Got me there.

I still don't think she's antihero like catwoman though.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

looks at his characters with black skintight suits

hides them in a corner

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do think shes up to her own stuff. my antihero opinions are out until we see her again. i dont see her and jonny joining forces though.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

We don't know if she was doing any illegal stuff cause J-Man interrupted her. Very rude.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

True. That's a good point actually J-Man needs better social skills. He tends to assume the worst.

His shades of grey skills are getting better though.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i assume illegal cause she ran off and wasnt doing any crime fighting. although tbf vigilantism is pretty illegal so j-man is, in fact, the criminal

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

"I was the criminal all along..."

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

His dad would be dissapointed

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Could it connect back to the prequel that I didn't have time to read?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i really hope his dad finds out. that sounds like such the epic emotional drama

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

On some subconscious level, maybe his dad suspects.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe. idk about that.

i liked that the prequel had mr. stone. cause in the main comic i always was like "man this is a weird lighting choice for mr. stone." and now it all makes sense. its not lighting. the name is just literal

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

He's stoned?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Oh man. I hope that wasn't confusing.

I guess I coulda conveyed it better.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I just thought he looked pale, I think...

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Nah, his skin is pure concrete.

He beats up Jon Sr. pretty badly in the prequel

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Ouchie. Stone cold.

So, two things I want to get out there in the last 15 minutes or so. First of all, WOW, how much time has likely gone into this... because I followed the link of the old vs new fight with Sergei, and it looked REAL different. So, a lot of early stuff was drawn twice, I guess?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

nah its okay. it wasnt something that really bugged me. just one of those hmmm thats odd maybe theres a reason. i just like knowing now and in retrospect i feel sort of dumb for not realizing XD

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

heh

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Yeah, I first made 6 issues in high school (2011-2012), but I didn't like the art and some story elements so I decided to remake them for the webcomic. #1-3 are those old comics redone.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

that long ago huh?

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Damn, that takes willpower. IMHO.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

yeah. J-Man now is about 4 years old

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

happy 4th!

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Second thing I wanted to mention was all the little cameos and things that were mentioned to be there from other comics. That's classy, like going the extra mile in my opinion. Kudos.

I also remember seeing Christmas arts on Twitter with some of the people I follow.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

I like cameos

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

oh yeah I got one of those last year

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Not sure what I'm gonna do this year.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

I's amazed at having the time and inclination for all that. Whoa.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that outfit for sleepy bear is adorable

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Works as nice promotion too.

Random question, d'you think anyone could remote into Sleepy Bear and take over? Does he have a good firewall?

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

It started as a thing to do cause there wasn't a Tapas X-Mas collab last year (and this year too, sadly)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

seriously, thank ya for the awesome art, Jonny

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

if sleepy bear could be remoted into, that sounds like the makings of a personal FNAF

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

I hope Christmas J-Claus returns this year

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

The Jaintium in him would probably disrupt anyone trying to hack him remotely. I'd have to be a physical connection.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: Maybe it's Megan's way of getting a sidekick.

(If Megan's not the girl, this'll look real silly when someone goes through the backlogs.)

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

that sounds adorable. fighting over sleepy bear and who gets to have him as a partner

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

(Maybe if SF does a holiday thing Santa-J will come back)

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

sounds good

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Jonny: Fair point. Interesting how it's not ruled out.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

And before we go I wanted to say keep it up with J-Man, you've really turned it into something magnificent. @The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

As to mystery masked person providing tips, maybe it's just another manifestation in Jonny's head.

And I think HeatWave will become a hermit somewhere. If he returns, it might be to help J-man at the climax.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i considered that. but perhaps its that one chick from the prequel you didnt read math.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: Ahh, hmmm.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i do hope heat-wave returns. and also makes fire puns. "If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen."

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

Wait, we haven't mentioned ships! So, anyone out there shipping Jonny and Abe?

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Puns are always good.

LAST MINUTE SHIPS GO

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

(Actually, some of the bonus art is really cool, like for Halloween. I laughed at the BL one for April 1st.)

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

Don't want to burst your theories but the chick from the prequel was Jonny's Mom.

MathTans the super Pun 👑Prince👑

So Jonny's Mom IS the Big-Man. Wait.

The Undefeatable Jonny Aleksey

This year's Halloween pic will be video game based

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Nice

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Jonny Aleksey, as well, for making The J-Man and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Jonny Aleksey’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on MORBIDITY by Charu. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on September from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/MORBIDITY

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #bookclub #book club #comic bookclub #comic book club #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #the j-man #jonny aleksey

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pj-fanfics · 7 years

Text

Murray Backstory

so murray and bianca lived in same neighborhood cute fat kids in their class only fat kids sometimes they'd get teased early on like they gunna get married and they'd laugh it off like yeah w/e bianca has a pretty backyard with her own tiny garden she invites him over to help her out lifting bags of dirt cuz she lives with her aunty and she's brittle/can’t lift much over the years, murray starts to grow a crush on her bianca is always super sweet and never malicious, she is very caring person she even had a choice to live with her rich uncle or frail aunt and picked her cuz she thought she needed the most help so one day, some bullies sneak into bianca's backyard and smash up bianca's garden and that was just tip of iceberg bianca's aunt has a nasty fall and breaks her leg they end up having to move with her uncle cuz they can't provide for her in their tiny town but she never told murray cuz she didn't want him to worry about it he knows about the garden, not the moving part so he saves up all his money and in one night, replant a good chunk of what she had planted before it just so happened to be on the night before bianca left but then murray goes to school next week wanting to hear about her new garden but her friends all oh i guess she didn’t tell u but she moved away doesn’t believe them runs to her house to find it for the most part empty, she never had a whole lot in the house, all that mattered was that garden there's a note on the gate to the garden left for him thanking him and asking him to forgive her for not saying anything about the move he ends up keeping this note throughout his life but that kicks starts his spiral of depression he gets mad first and bitter for not saying anything to him questioning if they were ever really friends but he's just a teen, he's a very sensitive boy and bianca knew that no matter how much he tried to hide it by acting quiet and cool mad at himself for never telling her how he felt though it seemed obvious to everyone else, including Bianca as he grows up, he passes by her house every day to school has to start taking the longer route to avoid it checks on the garden he planted it's withering, close to dying he goes on to school by the time he's in hs, he's gone total cool quiet commando wrestle team captain but still really smart ends up being a part of poetry club as well which gets the babes babes start asking him out he sees quite a few of them after school and they tell their friends somewhere during that time, he bumps into tippo and serenity they like hey we heard you're a decent writer, we need a songwriter for our band, u interested Murray like yeah maybe Serenity’s shitty hs band only consists of her, Tippo and Murray Murray as bass player Im sure Anit is invited to be in the band as well but they're maybe unsure of their potential Anit goes to college later on, Murray takes over drums for the songs that need it most the songs don't require them as much Murray also in charge of odd instruments kazoo, triangle, tamborine, digiridoo, rainstick Murray finishes hs but doesn't go off to college gets lots of girls for his looks and mute demeanor plenty of them prolly groupies of shitty hs band that's the name of the band "shitty high school band" has a gang motif they usually only play one gig a month 2 if they really wanna but for Murray it's a decent distraction then one of their so-called fans, a Roselia, says she's been a fan since their beginning but Murray never takes the compliments to heart he doesn’t recognize her but they fuck and later she finds him like we gotta talk, I am pregnant, you’re the dad and I wanna keep it Murray world comes crashing in first of all how did you get this number I’m half way across the countryside for this tour *consisting of 8 cities, lame ass tour but BEFORE ROSELIA CALLS HIM he's performing at a stadium in the desert think south west, arizona, new mexico fans come up to him and he does the schtick of pleasing the crowds but then he catches a glimpse of someone familiar then bolts to them it's grown up Bianca has to stand up on her tippy toes to hug around his neck she still fat but she swoons like look at u~ you got sick muscles now you could be one of the security guards murray departs from rest of gang to go off with her looking at the clear vast desert skies at night catching up all night murray debating bringing up her note he gets some closure by telling her he forgives her for leaving without a word but is still hesitant to bring up his past feelings to her now that he's been around the countryside and banging a lot of girls along the way, he feels very dirty being in front of her again and she's literally unchanged then he decides he gunna do it he gunna come clean but then she sneezes her familiar cute baby kitten sneeze when she wipes her nose, he sees a ring like ....... that's new :I oh yeah, I met him while I was going to school he didn't go to school with me he was the son of my uncle's gardener after I would come home, he'd be there helping his dad and I brought them drinks and sometimes I'd help them too uvu my uncle would scorn me, telling me it's their job to get messy but i didn't mind uou murray peeks over growing up, bianca was very poor her only pairs of shoes were a pair of old boots that seemed to last forever by the time she was in middle school, she seemed to already fit into them they were always dirty from being outside sure enough, she's wearing boots, different pairs, but same brand/style and they are worn and muddy even shows her a picture of baby Kassandra and murray like I sure would like to meet her someday Bianca hands her a card with her address like stop by any time! we'd love to have you! and your band could come too if they have the time :> the next morning, Murray gets the call being around bianca that one night has sparked something in murray he's not sure what to call it but maybe from seeing the baby picture, he maybe felt a bit of remorse again for himself if things were different maybe that could have been our baby remorse for the child that IS his like I didn't love this woman, now I have a responsibility to raise it cuz I know going in, this lady is gunna be trouble and everyone else knows it too keeps Serenity on speed dial when he has to get Leila out of there quick KALA ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A SWEET TENDER LADY WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE ROUND AND CURLY HAIRED HE'S GOT A TYPE Murray winds up having to put his visit with Bianca someday on hold

kazukoyo Gotta support his babby

ProfessorBees as this crazy lady he's currently married to is abusive and threatens him and their child every other day

Kazukoyo She got a screw or two loose

ProfessorBees working mom as a stripper Murray stay at home dad and part time repair guy or construction mom works day shift daddy has to work at night then the wife finds Murray's note and address card from Bianca burns them then takes Leila like I knew you never loved me after all I've given you she clearly drunk Murray has his phone on 911 and on speaker as soon as she out the door, leila in the car crying dont u worry sweetheart, i'll make sure he doesnt hurt us again >:0 but baby leila reaches out to daddy trying to escape mom idk how his phone would be on speaker if this is early 90's late 80's? maybe just leaves phone handle down and towards angry wife doesnt know what to do she just slammed the door he immediately tells the cops his address and reporting of kidnapping then furious dials serenity and tippo to call them whats up too then mad dash to his own car and chase after wife but then crosses a dinky bridge, and sees almost if it was in slow motion, her car hit the side of the bridge and it flips over and it bursts into flames murray reaching inside desperately, manages to find baby Leila's car seat easily slips her out as she was only half buckled in, thankfully is still alive and no open wounds is about to go back for his wife, but the car's weight and flames wear strain the car cabin's support and it crushes down Murray holding baby Leila refusing to let her go waiting on the other side of the bridge for police/firemen/paramedics to check on this small baby his ex-wife did not survive the crash but Leila only had a few bruises Murray decides he's not going back to that horrid apartment full of broken memories buys a house from his old neighborhood one with dusty old items and a little dusty garden in the backyard he starts with expanding Bianca's garden from a small gated corner to the majority of the backyard, completely covering it with dirt and plants then starts to work on remodeling the house it's small but it's just him and Leila so it doesn’t have to be huge breaks down a few walls to make it more open finds a few of Bianca's old belongings puts them in a shoebox he no longer has her address but he's got it memorized by now he'll deliver them personally when he's got stuff sorted out it's nothing of huge importance her dishes, bowls, lunchbox, maybe her kid needs something of her mother’s? Leila sees the box from time to time but doesn't know a Bianca so in her early years, makes her up like she's an imaginary friend it makes Murray's heart bleed how much little leila acted like he did when he was a kid trying to act cool/quiet but of course his face always :I :'I and continues to do so for the most part ends up going to a community garden to get tips from fellow gardeners and meets a lady who's there for a weekly course she recently had a miscarriage and is taking this class as a therapy but so far, only proceeds to depress her a bit as she knows nothing about plants and her crop is wilting Murray helps her out a lot and they seem to really hit it off younger staff at garden center ship them hardcore and Kala even invites them to wedding lmao Murray just wants close family and friends Kala brings her family plus the ones who shipped them from the start Leila super >:I for a new mommy *cling to her she mine now, dad off with you we have things to discuss like who's gunna get me more cake? >:I *grabs at wedding cake gimme murray and kala put her down lEila like nO wrONG direction Leila like what 4-5? old enough to know she getting her very own mom look ferro I got one >:I *shows off tall round mom Murray invites Bianca and family too but only Bianca shows up and gives Leila a toy too Leila like thanks stranger Bianca getting her shoebox of old treasures back and Murray telling stories of young Leila pretending to have a friend based off of u Bianca finding this all wonderful that he came back to her garden and just made it bigger and also renovated that drafty house into something much more fit for a family tl;dr bittersweet murray backstory I made up in the span of 2 hours?

#oc murray #oc bianca #oc leila #oc kala

0 notes

savingfairies-blog · 7 years

Text

not a poem i wrote this cause its 1am and im bored

every day i set my alarm for 5:45am to allow myself a fake ‘lie in’ and then when it goes off i turn it off and go back to sleep and set another alarm which is usually 7. when i open my eyes its usually just before 7 and so i quickly turn the alarm off before it goes off, i don’t know why but the idea of an alarm going off after i have already woken up really bugs me and quite frankly i hate loud noises and abrupt deafening sounds, especially when i have just opened my damn eyes !!!? sometimes i think i must have died in a past life of being screamed at or another alternative life i would have probably drowned because the ocean scares the crap out of me but thats another story for another day. and so after i have switched the alarm off quickly before it goes off puts me in a bad mood all day, i usually, although i should take full advantage of waking up earlier, get back into bed and go back to sleep because after all i’ve still got time hunny. then i wake up to my mum or dad telling me to get up and asking why i haven’t moved yet and it’ll be like 7:30 and i’ll be like shit i have aprox 28 mins to get dressed to catch the bus at the bus stop 2 mins away for 8. so i dash out of bed like sonic the blue hedgehog and i sometimes think wow i’m way too hungry a gal gotta catch breakfast and make myself late which i’ll get into. so its usually two slices of lightly toasted bread with whatever chocolate coated cereal we got in with some water. i hate water, it tastes like weird, if you think water has no taste then i envy you cause i taste some weird taste every time i drink water from any tap, any bottle, any source. i take it upstairs and eat it on my bed cause it tastes better that way for some reason and it makes me feel more relaxed about being behind schedule. hate that word schedule like some people (like my dad) say shedule n i’m like wtf. shed? also an ugly arrangement of letters sorry schedule fans. and so i probably watch anderz which is a vlog channel on youtube by helen anderson and her life is a lot more interesting than mine so it spices things up a lil you know. and practically swallow my breakfast whole cause i’m in that much of a rush and then pick an outfit which takes me forever and turns out to look shit anyway lol kms and dash straight into the bathroom like sonic himself and go to the toilet for my routine wee and then wash my hands, brush my teeth, wet my face with warm water, put clearasil face wash on my face and then rinse it off with water again and then wash my hands again. because i have an addiction to washing my hands and i like to carry hand sanitiser with me wherever i go but its usually not enough because i like the feel of cold water splashing on my hands and hand sanitiser thats been sitting in the bottom of my above room temperature bag doesn’t quite compare. so then i put deodorant on and get all my fresh clothes on ya know the drill !!! and go sit on my phone again and continue to watch anderz vlogs and then see the time n think ooo i’m really living life on the edge here so i start to put makeup on my face and most of the time i don’t look at my face while putting it on because over the years i have grown accustomed to not liking my face at all for a various number of reasons and so i prefer to not look at it much ya no it really kills my vibe and i wanna feel like queen b not a rodent ok . i usually take a long time to get ready to then only look like a large poo emoji hahah !!! but then i chose my trainers that i’ve grown a little collection of and i set off for the bus feeling fine. after checking i have the correct £1.40 in my pocket so i don’t have to count it at the bus stop with a potential bus arriving or even worse, on the bus when i can feel peoples piercing eyes on me and i am terrible at counting money quickly sorry its not my fault you’re late for work deborah, i’m late myself and i can’t have the guilt of you too this gal already to emotionally unstable n i’m gunna collapse. i double check the change like seven times while i’m standing at the bus stop and keep a look out for the bus. one time i was at a bus stop (the other day actually) and because the bus stop is on a road just before a corner, you can never be sure when a bus is gunna come cause u can’t bloody see wtf who’s idea was this ?? and so whenever you hear a bus like engine roaring up, you gotta act fast. so i’m stood at the bus stop, a woman comes and stands behind me, cool i’m not alone whatever. a bus imitating noise comes along and i sure as hell move my ass fast from inside the shelter to outside of the hut where i get as close to the edge of the road to depart and climb on board of the bus. after aprox 3 seconds a truck flies past and i jump out of my knickers and back the hell up, i’m sure the woman thought i was straight up going to take my 19 years that morning, it didn’t happen. i feel a little silly, the bus comes, i’m running late like most days and by now i don’t even see the point in checking the time, i either make it or i don’t, looking makes it more real so i chose to do a timeless sprint from the bus station to the train station flying past everybody at, in my mind, 70mph. i feel like a bird flying through the air, by about 5 minutes into my power walk i feel like a penguin trying to fly and my shins start stabbing and feeling like they’re gunna snap off and because i’m in no form fit, i can’t breathe and this particularly day i was wearing heeled boots, bad move wtf you should have gone for one of my nice selection of trainers silly. i speed round a corner feeling good and like lightning and then my ankle swerves on an uneven pavement piece (wtf ?!!!) and i nearly fall on to a bunch of 16 year old middlesbrough college sport boys. its embarrassing but i’m already red from the flight. i run up the stairs going light headed and get on my train with 2 minutes to spare. i couldn’t breathe but it was brilliant, i did it. the train usually sets off like 5 mins later than 32 minutes past 8 as it should. i don’t mind much, in fact i couldn’t care less. i then proceed to pant and break into a mild sweat and because i’m an idiot, i never pack water and so i dehydrate but least i’m gunna make it to uni right? so i put my bag on the seat next to me and put my earphones in because i don’t have any friends as you will probably realise lol. i put a bit of kanye on or something like that, maybe london grammar if i’m feeling suicidal or feeling like i’m gunna die from a heart attack because of the exercise, i’d wanna go out to something nice like that ya know. train trugs along, thornaby, stockton, billingham, seaton carew and then hartlepool. it goes on further to better places like cool newcastle but stops there for me like most things in my life hehe !! so then i get off and power walk into the uni building with kanye or something blasting down my ear canals making me feel like a full blown g. i often forget my uni card so the g stops usually at the door where i stand pondering how the hell i’m gunna get in and if i’m ever gunna make it. usually someone comes and then they have a card and so its cool, i get up the stairs and go into the room where the magic happens lol jk. nothing happens here in the story for like ¾ hours cause i just sit by myself occasionally doing some work while taking breaks of staring into space because not many acknowledge me haha :) i then realise nothing will literally happen if i just leave, so then i go home again, sometimes after an hour lol i just hate it. i like the course, i love drawing even though i can’t really draw anything but apart from that i just wish the train would be completely late :) so i repeat the travelling process but in reverse and get home for like 2/3. i then go on the computer often playing sims and then get a shower and get my pyjamas on and get into bed. i don’t talk to anyone apart from my family all day every day :) my friends have dropped me which is ya know a bit disheartening but you can’t persuade someone to like you so i’ve just left them to it. i’m alone now and i’m depressed. my days are just slow but racing past and everything is going downhill by the second. 2016 was shit. hope 2017 isn’t or i dunno what i’m gunna do. i have my friend Shannon, she’s like my bestfriend but its a bit poo cause shes in uni so its hard to get to see her much but im going to manchester to see her for a weekend next week and we’re going to see jeremy kyle live so thats funny, i actually can’t wait. But the rest is drab and i hope for change and i hope i find some friends around here haha

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