and im crying

My car got stolen... I am very upset

dang. thinking again abt zhongli being a widower

I’m just thinking about all the parents walking around today with tears in their eyes but smiles on their faces, trying to keep upbeat and happy around their kids. I’m just thinking about how Quackity is going to lose what could’ve potentially been his second chance.

Im just thinking about Charlie, Mariana, and Maximus, who thought that maybe they’d be happy that the others are finally going to get a taste of what it’s like. But they’re not. They’re not happy, they’re sad because even though they’ve lost their children and may be bitter about it, they see how happy their friends and it makes them hurt just to see their friends go through the inevitable.

Thinking about . Mourning practices and Geralt and Yennefer relearning them and only learning because the people caring for them are still in mourning . And it hits them all at once because they had deluded themselves into believing they wouldn’ t or shouldn’ t be mourned or that there would be more important things than that . Like a subconscious belief that they didn’t really notice they held . And then being shown the reality that they were loved so deeply and missed so terribly . Yeah . Y eah

everyone talking about cool new mechanics and enemies and im sitting here frantically connecting red strings on a pinboard and written at the top is “HOW LOFTWINGS CAN STILL WIN”

For some reason I want Suho to experience so much suffering that it nearly breaks him

We already know that his path is half-paved since he’s born with innate power (inherited from father) and the fact he got companions along the way - So even though he goes through hardship, he’ll constantly have the support he needs

But ngl I kinda wanna see (or just imagine) Suho going through a challenge so difficult that absolutely no one could pull him out from (that even his own father can only watch helplessly as his son gets carried by the waves of misfortune

that his precious son’s fate is destined to be the greatest sacrifice)

,,,,,,

I remember the discussion I had with a mutual — How there’s a charm in giving so much angst to a character for that sweet sweet relief of comfort (angst w/ happy ending) and it stuck w/ me 😭

I know it might not happen with SL:R but I can’t help imagine Suho reaching his breaking point - sacrificing his all for the sake of his companions/family and the only relief is a simple kiss that speaks “It’s okay, you’ll be okay, we’re here for you now”

Crying over the inescapability of my body and my pain and everything

i guess i didnt realize how attached i was to my room until my sister decides she wants to change everything about it. even tho i didnt want it to go to her anyway, but i cant do or say anything ofc bc IM the one who kept the baby and IM the one whos going to be sleeping in the same room as them

a tragedy that went unnoticed

the marble nest is firmly slotting itself into that part of me that has that sickly warm bittersweet fascination with death and dying

When u make a really plan for the next couple days before bed and go to sleep feeling accomplished and like maybe you're capable enough to get through the next few days in a relatively "successful" way and then your eyes open the next morning and it's like the breaking of the damn at isengard and a river of emotions and thoughts that you do Not have neither the time nor space to fight thru crash into your brain and once you finally get through the initial deluge and pull yourself from bed determined to regroup so your whole day is not lost or weighed down by the weigh of it all you make yourself a cup of coffee and go to sit in the fresh air of the outside to consume it and spill the entire mug on the ground because sometimes your wrist and fingers Just Don't Work

I'm at the advanced stage of burn out where it's just full on trauma and I truly don't think many ppl can understand what it's like. and what it does to your brain and your ability to live normally. it's unexplainable.

Everyone desires me carnally because of my sheer autistic power <- is having his mam drive him home from the funeral afterparty, crying certainly not because he is mourning but instead because the autism is killing him with guns

oh goddamn ive never met a fellow magisterium enjoyer before 🤝🤝🤝

Magisterium is one of my favorite trilogies!! (if I don't acknowledge The Silver Mask or The Golden Tower I can pretend that they don't exist)

..so sigma is dead..