#but i still wanted to post something in honour of the new song
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one more love song?
pairing ⇾ luke castellan x hades’ daughter reader (gendered stuff isn’t mentioned anywhere in the post so it can be read as gn)
word count ⇾ 3k
summary ⇾ luke is a simp, tries to confess, you guys share earphones and sit near the lake at night. the moon loves you 🫶
author’s note ⇾ so most of this is just happened to be written as luke admiring the reader rather than what i was actually going to go for, but i’m really happy with how it turned out :) hope you enjoy it as well 💌 wrote this all in one setting. when inspo hits.. it hits like a truck 🚛 this one is for my quiet people, and maybe a little self indulgent. guilty as charged your honour. no use of y/n.
you had a thing for luke castellan, and he had a thing for you too. it was no secret to anyone. but none of the other campers understood why you both preferred to dance around each other’s feelings rather than addressing them. even though everyone could feel the immense tension you both carried around whenever you were near each other, no one chose to mention it. it would be like taking a gun and pointing the muzzle right at ones own head — it was a death sentence really, hearing you both deny it. so they all just went along with ignoring it like you both pretended to do.
you were the daughter of hades, the king of the underworld and part of the trinity. that definitely added a little intimidation to your already mysterious aura. luke on the other hand was a possessive guy, even if he didn’t show it. sure, he was extremely confident, and even a little egotistical - yes, but all for the right reasons of course (as per him). but he was possessive nonetheless. that’s why it killed him inside each day that he couldn’t call you his, and himself as yours.
he really didn’t like anyone else approaching you with any unwanted intentions. though, don't get him wrong, he's well aware that you could protect yourself. hell, you could protect the entire camp just by yourself alone, but still — he felt a pang of jealously whenever some apollo’s kid talked with you for too long. or when your discussions with some guy from the hephaestus’ cabin were too long. he knew that you guys were just discussing your plans for some of their inventions and how you could help by designing their ideas into structural sketches. afterall, you were good with sketches, a hobby of yours, those from cabin 9 made sure to utilise to their fullest. even though he knew it all, he still felt some unwanted feelings swirl inside him.
he wanted to confess to you, oh he wanted to do that so badly. but he just didn't know how to.. you didn't seem the kind who’d like the usual route. for the sake of olympus itself - you didn’t even send him any signs, other than meeting back his longing gaze with just as much passion. he knew there had to be something between you two. there’s no way it could be all in his head.
but you — you never tried to make the first move, shit, you didn’t make any moves at all. and luke knows he’s a confident guy, he knows he’s amazing and all that glory speech he gives around to the new comers but oh you. you just make him rethink it all. he doesn’t know how to act around you - he feels so different around you.
as if you put some kind of spell on him that makes him loose this carefully handcrafted personality, his façade. and he's back to being the kid he was - just trying to prove himself somehow in some way. but at least you never abandoned him.. nor did you ever make him feel unwanted. unlike his.. his dad. he doesn’t need to impress you, you’ve made that clear with your actions. but still he - he really wants to.
𓇚
he recalls back when you still pretended to be unclaimed and stayed at the hermes cabin. though later on (like a whole month later) everyone found out that you knew your dad was hades and you shifted to the newly made hades cabin. it happened in such a funny manner where you stated it to the suprised chiron like it was just another fun fact about you. totally not some very critical and important information. camp half-blood having a kid of one of the three and not just any but of hades, who was always so adamant on not sending his kids to camp that the gods had an entire incident regarding it. but here you were.
anyway that’s not the point. he just really liked you and had felt a pull towards you since the beginning. he observed you from afar during your first few weeks at camp. when it was your third week at camp and you had developed the constant habit of staying up every night and sneaking out. he followed, ofcourse he was just being a good head counselor. afterall till you were in the hermes cabin you were someone he had to make sure followed the rules or whatever. he didn’t care for that much, he just wanted to know what you were always up to.
you always hid away by the time he followed you out. he had made sure that this week, this day, he’d finally follow you without you hiding away in the shadows. of course you weren’t dumb either. you could feel another shadow added to the ones you were controlling, and you felt like having a little fun with the castellan boy. so you let him follow you. (and luke found out about that fact weeks later, and safe to say he was annoyed that he wasn’t slick enough. though he got back on you, he showed you just how smooth he could be during sword fighting practice. spoiler: by the end of the match you were under him with a sword pressed on your neck and his smirk making you feel things.)
back to what happened on your third week at camp - as he followed you he realised you were headed towards the lake. oh so this was your favourite spot. he looked at you from afar, you looked breathtaking.
the moonlight shined on your figure sitting by the lake. you were probably listening to some music, since you had your earphones in.
he held his breath, he wanted to carve this scene in his memory forever. you truly looked like a goddess, the serene view and a serene beauty (you). a perfect combination indeed.
after giving himself some pep talk mentally and encouraging himself to actually go to you, he finally did. and oh boy was he glad he did - because that was the start of your friendship, and something more.
he still fondly remembers how you smiled when he finally came and sat beside you.
“finally came out of your hiding spot, castellan?” you said in a light tone. “you knew?” he asked suprised, but not really. “i know everything that goes in the shadows.” you said and smiled while taking off one earphone and handing it out to him. he took it gratefully.
that day you shared an earphone with him and in return took a piece of his heart with you.
that was the beginning of whatever the hell was going on between you and luke castellan. he understood later on what you had meant by the shadows comment when a week later you had casually revealed who your father was and shifted cabins, much to luke’s displeasure.
but you guys remained friends nonetheless and continued to keep each other company on moonlit nights.
𓇚
he still remembers when you first came to camp. you were so eerily quiet. your presence drew him to you like a moth to a flame. your eyes felt like they held galaxies and whenever you met his gaze he felt his heart could explode. though you didn't smile often, but oh god’s when you did grin at some stupid lame joke he made, or when something silly happened, he just found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with you.
though he notices. he notices how you keep your smiles to yourself and put a hand over your mouth whenever you do laugh. the reason? he truly doesn’t understand. because why in the world would you do that? you’re the most gorgeous being to have graced this earth, why would you not let him get addicted to your smiles and the sound of your melodious laughter which is sweet like nectar and has the warmth of ambrosia. as he knew it was a rare sight, he made sure to capture the memory to replay it in his head whenever he misses you.
you're so beautiful to him and your presence is so comforting. the deathly touch your aura carries has makes it all the more breathtaking. oh he's in it bad. he knows it.
𓇚
both your secret meet ups began increasing as weeks went by. you both talked about everything under the sun (or the moon, in your case). and even though you weren’t much of a talker when you were in groups during the day, luke felt glad that atleast when you were with him you spoke your heart out.
you made him feel so much at ease. even with all his responsibilities at camp and his plans.. and everything else that eats up his soul — in moments such as these, he feels like just another teenage boy. not the kid who got abandoned by his parents, not the teenager who had to protect his friends and had to prove something to the gods, not the head counselor and the greatest swordsman to have been in 300 hundred years, but just- just another teenage boy, a boy in love. oh he loved you. so much.
and that's why he decided he was finally going to confess to you tonight. he was going to set up a beautiful moment and hold your hand while looking in your eyes and confess how much he adores you and finally ask you to be his.
he felt a little nervous, which is so unlike him. c’mon, he has fought innumerable monsters and survived so many deathly quests, how is finally telling you what he’s been wanting to since forever making him more nervous than either of those situations? oh the things you do to him..
when he reached there you were already sitting near the lake at your favourite spot. as soon as he came closer, you turned your head towards him with a soft smile and said, “hey you” “hey me” he replied. he doesn’t miss the way you put an automatic smile on his face, as he sits beside you. you both sit in comfortable silence, your bodies making contact from the shoulders. neither of you move away, finding comfort in one another’s presence and touch.
being a demigod was.. anything but a normal experience to say the least. but finding someone who makes you feel.. more closer to the human part of yourself was something not everyone could find. but you both were so glad you did with one another.
as moments passed by, luke felt you lean your head on his shoulder. he relaxed into your touch as he looked down at your face to find your eyes closed. he knew you weren’t sleeping, just resting. he found himself forming a small smile as he looked at you.
then he started, “you know, i wanted to tell you something today.” you hummed in response waiting for him to continue. “i..” he felt his throat dry up. it’s always so easy to talk to you, so why is it that right now he feels unable to form words? your presence is always so calm and serene so why does his heart feel like it’s going a million miles per hour?
“hey.. hey look at me” you said in your calm voice as you softly held his face. he met your eyes, and oh he swears he could just get lost in the galaxy that lays within your eyes. you look at him with you sweet smile and say, “you can tell me anything, you know?” “i know.” his reply is almost immediate. you just smile at that “then go on”.
he closes his eyes to compose himself. he knows that he doesn’t need to pretend with you. but he also wants to tell you everything he feels for you and how you’ve taken all over his body, mind and soul. but he can’t formulate them into words. he just— “i love you too castellan.” “what” “what? you were trying to confess right? i only helped you.” you said smiling softly at him. “i.. well i..” he was dumbfounded. he had thought of so many ways this would probably go and the many ways he could say it but you.. you said it first.
“is that a pout?” you ask with a giggle. he feigns offense, “i do not pout.” “oh that was definitely a pout.” you teased. “it wasn't.” “oh it so was.” he rolls his eyes. “whatever. i just wanted to make it romantic or something i don't know. i mean i even got you a cassette tape with songs i dedicated to you and—” “you dedicated songs to me? and got them in a cassette tape? how even- when did you get the time to get that done? did you go out of camp for-” you said suprise clear in your voice but he interrupted you. “well obviously i dedicate songs to you infact they were so many that i had to choose the best of the best. and how i got the cassette and the player is just part of the trade secrets, darling.” he winked. and you just giggled and kissed him.
luke had imagined kissing you before, but it was never as close to the real deal. he was addicted to say the least. your lips tasted so sweet and felt so soft. for being the kid with the aura of death, you sure brought back life to him.
by now you were on his lap with his arms wrapped around you. you both were just sitting on the grass and taking in each other's presence and feeling peaceful with how close your hearts were.
slowly you took out your earphones from your pocket and gave him one wire. “so, one more love song?”
© hansolen do not repost, translate and post anywhere else.
author's note ⇾ aand that's the end haha. hope you liked it <3 this is my first fic ever like everr and i didn't even think i’d be able to write something that i would actually wanna post, but something in me lit up when i saw my favourite childhood book series was finally getting the adaptation it deserved and then this came out of it <3 would love to know your thoughts on it.
#𓇚 kalopsia#luke castellan#luke castellan x you#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan imagine#percy jackson#🏹 acara writes#luke castellan oneshot#luke castellan x y/n#percy series#percy jackon and the olympians#charlie bushnell#pjo x reader#pjo tv show#pjo series#pjo
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we caught that holiday glee !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which it doesn't take a genius to know that they're actually the icons.
or
for when you want to spend all of your christmases with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚
social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader
prequel - you got me thinking nonsense ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hahahahaha hiiii!!!! im so SORRY for being absent i've been going insane over school 😭😭😭 it's all just a mess rn (IM IN LOVEEEEE I MET THIS GUY) and hopefully, i can post often but still, i can't promise anything!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES <3 i hope ur all doing okay!!!! i love u all so much :)
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by charles_leclerc, lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 2,417,916 others
yourusername here's a lil carol i wrote it's abt u and me 🎀
11,628 comments
username SCREECHING TOO MUCH TO UNPACK
username no bc nonsense christmas is so
username everyone shut up im focusing on "i need that charles dickens"
username SANTA DOESN'T KNOW U LIKE I DO
username roman empire or roman empire??? yeah that's what i thought
username somebody sedate me im going feral over nonsense christmas lord
username i know l*ndo ascended to the nth circle of hell after hearing this
username I NEED THAT CHARLES DICKENS
-> username girly did NOT hold back
maxverstappen1 ears are bleeding
-> yourusername ur 26282837 messages crying about cindy lou who say something diff but maybe that's js me
-> maxverstappen1 SHUT
-> username nah cindy lou who is PAINFUL
username charles and y/n 🤝 "what if we hypothetically broke up"
-> username nah bc i KNOW those mfs giggle while writing songs together
username THE TSHIRT OH MY GOF
-> username need that for educational purposes
username "i've been there through the good and the bad" ur honour i am unwell
alex_albon THIS IS WHY HIS NAME IS "north pole💈" IN YOUR PHONE ??????????
-> yourusername says who
-> alex_albon don't gaslight me
-> yourusername gaslighting is not real ur js crazy ☺️
username the lore is revealing itself good lord
username i will never be as iconic as y/n y/l/n and i don't think i can be
username OPPOSITE OF SMALL?? BIG SNOWBALLS?? girl u used to sing for DISNEY
-> yourusername i js need to cut a few words off and then it's the perfect disney anthem wdym 🙄🙄🙄
-> username start "cutting a few words" and the whole song is GONE 😭
username i played this in front of my mom y'all what am i supposed to DO
username WHAT'S 12-4???? YEAH
lewishamilton certainly an experience listening to this for the first time, seb and i are proud of you xx
-> yourusername i love my unofficial parents thank u xx
username i am unwell.
charles_leclerc so proud of you mon ange ( my angel )
-> yourusername thank YOU for writing songs with me ☹️
charles_leclerc forever and ever in awe 🥰
-> yourusername i love you
username THE TSHIRT OMG
-> username it's a need fr
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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charles_leclerc we caught that holiday glee
tagged yourusername
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#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 imagines#social media au#fake instagram imagines#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc imagines#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fluff
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Take me back
THIS IS 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI FOR BIKER!HWA’S SAKE (nsfw tags under the cut) (masterlist) (join taglist)
🏍️ pairing: biker!seonghwa x afab!gangster!reader
🏍️ genre: smut, pwp, exes to lovers, fluff, a little angst, romance, just two fools in love
🏍️ summary: you want to convince yourself that you do not need seonghwa, that your rejection is for the best, but when instead of another rose he is the one waiting by your door, you are not so sure.
🏍️ wordcount: 6.9k
🏍️ warnings/tags: biker!hwa, quick solo edit, language, hwa has grills, head over heels enamoured hwa, mention of contraband/dealing of illegal substances, rejection, knight on a bike courting you, discussion of gang activity, set in strictland, lmk if anything else
🏍️ a/n: why hello there <3 i am trying to get back into writing, and seonghwa + the song 'take me back'… transformed me. always, any notes, reblogs and comments are appreciated, much love~
🏍️ perma-taglist: moved to the end of the post!
🏍️ nsfw tags: sub!hwa and soft dom!reader, no protection (wrap before you tap pls), oral (both giving and receiving), hints of scent kink but more for hwa's perfume, dirty talk, intense pet name content (baby, darling, sweetheart, love, pretty boy), praise both ways, riding/cowgirl, reader double orgasm, overstimulation, slight dumbification, creampie, implied cockwarming, cuddling and two people falling in love more and more with each passing second
It did not take much effort to figure out who left the solitary rose on the window sill, between floors three and five - an ironic nod to tradition despite the world moving in a four four time, right on the stairwell that led to your apartment. A white rose sculpted to an ideal by nature and by a cosmetic selection, cut away and left a stilled beauty in full bloom, honoured to wilt in your presence. Picking it up with two fingers, you admired the careful handiwork employed to remove the thorns, because heaven forbid you were to hurt yourself. A smirk pricked at the corner of your lips, but you dared not reveal it - the admirer could be waiting just for this, and you were not feeling particularly merciful tonight. Twisting the rose a couple of times, noting the lack of any tears, breakage in the petals or even as much as a hint of browning due to thoughtless damage, you turned your attention to the stark white sheet of paper, neatly folded in half so as to conceal the contents. Though, who else would dare touch any gifts that were obviously left for you? Certainly not those who knew you, or knew of the admirer who was waiting for a single sign that you would accept the offerings. Opening up the note, you found a new selection of confessions written in poetic lines, ink meticulous, a permanence introduced in a neat and familiar hand, every stroke a cry for you, over you, a projection across the city in an attempt to win your heart. Just like last time, except this time the theme was the moon instead of the sun. The stars, the ocean waters, the air embracing you. If one were to paint a portrait through the words etched onto the pages that you had become a secret collector of, you would become the universe. All-encompassing and all-consuming, having permeated into the heart, soul and mind and turning into reason and motivation, you were the eternal muse. Gaze slowly drifting from the page and onto the dim, dark street outside, you looked out at the corner of the street, right to where it faded into a miniature intersection, leading to a shopping district that was long abandoned and shut down aside from a few underground businesses and repurposed buildings that a regular passer-by would, or should never visit. You would never admit it, but you had grown to expect the silhouette that waited for you, maybe even welcome it. A singular constant in your daily life, one that you hated to admit, but had transformed into a grounding, a tether to something less than madness.
It was not comforting, however. Far from it. The man who was leaning against his motorcycle, side profile distinguishable against the faint lights emanating from the far backdrop was someone who had brought you emotion. And just as the government had prescribed in its comically persistent propaganda, disease was human emotion. Whether one served the nation or was working against it, whether one was a public figure for peace or a private figure for war, the state of feeling was oftentimes a disadvantage. It was, most certainly, the case in your line of work, despite you never directly subjecting yourself to risk - you were not that foolish quite yet. But the dedication of the man in black, blue and silver was forcing you to reconsider. Eroding the boundaries you operated within, knocking on the barriers to find a hollow which he could break. One of these days you knew that Seonghwa was going to be the death of you. Or perhaps the revival. Folding the note tightly shut you pressed it against the rose’s stem, and holding both items between your fingers you began your ascent to the door of your apartment, keys dangling from their ring that was in your other hand.
Soon enough, you heard the rumbling of the engine; that same motorcycle which you had come to see more often than the supplies you managed. As you slid the key into the door, you shut your eyes, imagining Seonghwa’s journey away from your complex. How his glasses, those you had joked about being from a laboratory, would glimmer under the jittery neon of old signs and the fading streetlights. How he would accelerate at the end of the road, making a sharp turn to the right. The grip you had on the note and the rose tightened as you recalled the exhilarating feeling of having your arms wrapped around his sensational waist, feeling the toned muscle underneath his black tank top, snaking your hands, letting them roam his body as he struggled to contain himself and keep on driving. You paid the risk no mind - if anything, this risk was the one you preferred so much more, over any other you had to keep subdued under a brutal thumb. Wondering why your mind was so afflicted this evening, you raised the rose again, detecting nothing suspicious. It was only once you raised the note as close to your face as possible that you rolled your eyes and let a sigh escape you. Of course, the perfume. That damn sweet perfume, with hints of coffee and vanilla, one only he could wear, one that you swore you would never be able to rid yourself off, even if you were to burn the house down and shed your own skin. The memory would remain and you knew that if anywhere, anyone, anyhow would let this perfume enter your system, only Seonghwa would be on your mind. Cursing under your breath, you finally unlocked the apartment and entered, washed over with a sense of dread due to your evident proximity to the handcrafted abyss. It was only a matter of time that this game would end.
Kicking your shoes off your feet and ambling to the living room, you approached the glass that you had positioned at the centre of the tiny dining table, taking out the rose you had previously received and replacing it with the new beauty. Mumbling a goodbye, simply to remind yourself of the fact that you could speak, more than anything, you let the flower disappear in the bin that was across the corridor, in the kitchen. You returned, regarding the white rose again, imprinting its every curve in your mind and hesitantly allowing yourself to compare the softness of the petals to your admirer’s lips, and moved to the cabinet off to the side. A contraband piece, unregulated, from someplace abroad that clearly had more daring, inspiring tastes than your home ever could, which was exactly why you had your loyal employees smuggle it along with the regular supplies to feed the insatiable demand of the sinful city that turned into bills for you. One door opened, another, a few numbers on a keypad pressed and you were in - one of the numerous safes hidden around the flat, the only ones that would stand the test of time, with this one containing the butterflies that plagued Seonghwa, those that he could not help but share with you, fighting pleas that you contained in steel. A cage for the emotions that the man stirred within you, your keeping of the notes supposedly out of sight and out of mind was the last resort for denial. You did not want to witness your demise, and yet, in the night when you were tossing and turning back and forth, illuminated by a hazy blue and grey, your retinas had every note burned into them and your brain would repeat every line back to you over, and over, and over again until you were lulled into a slumber, again, induced by the notion of the one man who you were trying your hardest to avoid. He was behind every corner, physical and spiritual.
He was in the way you cleared away the dishes after eating, the ghost of his torso pressed against your back as he would leave a peppering of kisses over your shoulder, in the crook of your neck and stopping right over the jugular, caressing the sensitive skin with his breath. Seonghwa was in the way you lied down to bed, always occupying the same side, gliding under the sheets that, even though you had washed them, softened them time and time again, you swore still held his echoes - how your body tried to reignite the reminiscence of how his arm would languidly find purchase on your hips or waist, how he would whisper sweet nothings into your ear, the shameless adoration tickling your cheek and colouring it in a faint blush. As you shut the safe with more aggression than anticipated, making the cabinet rattle from the impact, you shut your eyes, the sensation of the memory becoming too strong to handle. Seonghwa’s hands tracing abstract shapes on your stomach, sides, seemingly absent-mindedly trailing upwards to tease a timid gasp out of you, only to follow the curves and contours of your body down until he could have you in ultimate pleasure. And how, polite as ever, he would ask for it. Ask to touch you, beg for it unabashedly, recounting just how good he had been for you, how he would do anything for you, should you command him.
Seonghwa’s blind faith in you, his trust in harmony between outlaws and the timelessness of your union was the very reason you stepped away. With every fibre of what you had remaining of your tainted heart you wished for him to find someone better, someone safer, as far as possible from the rotten criminal hydra of which you were one of the many heads. Part of you always held onto the hope that he would leave the city for good. You knew there were better places out there where he could thrive not as a gang member or a fiend of the roads, but as an artist, a dreamer. You had heard enough stories of lands across the oceans where the sun smiled down on those who walked the grounds there, and how people had choice. Desperately, you wanted Seonghwa to make the right one and leave. But all your senses were far too close to overpowering your rationality that served as the single stop sign for the both of you. The one flicker that would set the gasoline ablaze, and leave you two to burn, unable to turn back. Without bothering to turn on any lights, you felt for your bedroom, stripping off the clothes that screamed both business and dealing, and collapsing onto the covers. Hands tracing the lace of your lingerie, you mused what the man of your dreams and nightmares was up to, across the district, under the same omniscient and omnipresent moon, perhaps thinking of you. His name rolled off your tongue far too easily, too comfortably for it to be forbidden. You knew exactly what would happen should he appear instead of another rose, and this awareness - you feared.
As soon as you stepped into the complex, met with the ancient and occasionally flickering bulb that hung right above the entryway, barely outside of the swinging reach of the rusted metal door, you felt the air had shifted while you were gone. The first sign, however, you had caught onto a lot earlier, during your brisk walk down the street, where you caught sight of a familiar motorcycle parked some ways off to the side, obscured by the smog-dulled trees and coughing shrubbery, and only just peeking out from behind a couple of dumpsters. You had to give it to Seonghwa, the place he chose to hide the vehicle was one of the best in the vicinity, but it was not a surprise - something told you that he had your part of the city mapped out and committed to memory, judging by how easily he navigated every corner, and knew exactly where and when you could catch sight of his presence. Slowly, you stepped towards the stairs, trying to steady your breath, failing to ignore the accelerating pace of your heart. The drumming overtook you, pushing away any sense of control and commitment to rejection, and it was as if you could feel every capillary, every artery and vein being set on fire, oxygen being reduced to nothing, lungs screaming and smoke filling your skull. Leaden legs lifting themselves one step, another until you covered the first flight, making a turn. Forgetting to count, you let your instincts guide you, and even though you knew that you were not going to find them, you were half hoping for another rose and note, a secure arrangement that meant you could fool yourself into not feeling as strongly as you, in reality, did. Suddenly, your suit was too tight over your body, the collar digging into your flesh, the sleeves constricting. You wanted to melt away, sink into the floor, turn into concrete, into the walls or the particles that drifted with the drafts before you were to come face to face with what you were so adamant on denying, with whom you were so adamant on denying. The sturdy soles of your dress shoes resounded on the hard stone stairs, marking your arrival. There was no going back, not now, not ever. As soon as the door to your part of the complex closed, so did the door to a destiny without the man who you could now spot on the next flight of stairs, sat outstretched on the cold angularity, elbows perched on one step higher than his body, impeccably balanced while his legs, bent slightly, were stationed on the flat turning. As you regarded his form through the dark grey, sparse railings, taking in the gravity of his unbelievable presence he did not spare you a single glance, instead choosing to remain downcast, peering off to the side, at the merging of the wall and stairs, or maybe he was caught up in his own thoughts, much like you had been a few too many days and nights.
It was only when you stopped right in front of him, stock still, crossing your arms - be it in defence or in threat, did he look up at you, shattering your heart into an innumerable torrential downpour of pieces. Eyes hidden behind those clear visor glasses were misty, hinting at unspilled melancholia, unexpressed need that only you could tear out of him, a living energy that had always been a sacrifice to your being. At your feet, much like how he was now, even though the pose which he had found himself in was nothing like what he had meant in the notes, in the actions, in the past. Seonghwa pushed himself off the stairs, sitting up straighter, head tilting upwards to not break eye contact. Almost as though if he were to look away, you would evaporate. The buttoned up silver collar of his jacket, concealing a few chains underneath, was gently applying pressure to his neck as he moved without daring to make any excessive movements, including adjusting his clothes. The man determined that he was toeing a far too dangerous line to try his luck with confidence.
After so long, after so many roses, after so many secrets that he had spilled in his poetry he could not continue any longer. Gone were the days when your mirage was enough, a hallucinatory visitation in the middle of his day never did satisfy him, but out of fear of disappointing you, he never went ahead with his urges and the cries of every nerve cell. Distance. A hint of your existence, a glimmer of the lights in your apartment, a dismissive picking up of his gifts from the window sill - those were his only joys as of late, but even that was no longer enough. He wanted you. He needed you. He needed you like a man needed air, needed earth, water, and fire. Seonghwa marked too many days on his calendar, drove too many miles without there being one last hope. So he gave into a risk, and bet his own life on it. As he allowed himself to drown in your ethereal glow, the beautiful, pleading man only just caught onto the words that sliced through the months of silence.
“No rose this time?”
Seonghwa let out a breath he did not know he was holding, and reached out for your legs, pulling you closer to him in a desperate call. Wrapping his strong arms around you, he pressed his forehead into your thighs, only a bite of the lip holding him back from breaking apart. He could not care less if you were going to scold him for crumpling your outfit, or for staining it with tears if they were to spill, for it was worth it. You were real. You were here. You were speaking to him and regarding him. Practically falling onto you and at your feet, Seonghwa wanted to be as close as possible, blend with and into you. Taken aback by the suddenness of the lurch towards you, you could only hold your hands up and let the proximity intoxicate you. Staring down at the top of his head, you had to give up your equilibrium to the man if you were to stay standing. Stay above him. And yet, a stray hand found itself floating through and towards the dark, slicked back locks that your palms remembered far too well. As you followed the lines of each strand, digits grazing the scalp, gently patting the impossibly soft and luscious hair, Seonghwa breathed raggedly beneath you, shaking ever so slightly. For how long had he been keeping it in, you wondered. For how long had he been carrying the weight of feeling with him without letting it escape into public exposure. Gently, you hooked the glasses upwards, letting them rest on the top of his head - a gesture that made him look up once more, hands still clenched around the material of your trousers. A flush of pink across his face, glistening eyes and the beginnings of a waterfall marking his relief threatening to trickle down his cheeks. You noted how his lips parted a couple of times, almost like he was in search to find the right words to say to you, maybe he had even already found them, but none made their way to your auditory, remaining a pantomime. Seonghwa was waiting for everything, and his everything was you.
“Oh come on, Hwa, why are you- up. Let’s get up, yeah?” you motioned with both hands for him to get up, and when he would not follow took a hold of his forearms, tugging until he submitted to the request, more moisture rushing to the surface as he was now right here, level with you on the same ground, in one another’s arms like before, with his nickname turning to the most magical melody when you uttered it, “Hwa, no, don’t cry, baby, I can’t stand to see you hurting.”
Thumbs running under his gorgeous eyes, over the stunning smooth skin and hands stopping to cup his face, you admired him with a full heart, letting go of prior inhibitions. There was no point in trying to ignore what had always been, what you would never be able to escape. You hated how you made him feel this pain. You knew you were the instigator, it was obvious to anyone how you were the one who did not want to follow through with hardships and looked for an easy way out, only finding dead ends and lies in the process. His aroma embraced you in a hypnotising cloud, the same one that never left you. The addictive sweetness that you wanted more, more of until there was nothing remaining. Leaning closer to Seonghwa, you took it in, faces a mere centimetre apart, suspense on a single breath.
“I’m sorry, I could not help it… I-”
“I should be the one who is sorry, baby, don’t say that,” he was too good for this world, you concluded yet again. The longer you knew Seonghwa, the more convinced you became that he was not meant for the city, nor for the life you or he led. You needed to work harder if that could mean buying your and his freedom out of this system.
“Sorry…” he mumbled again, unsteady, inching towards you until his nose brushed against yours. His gloved hands were securely under your suit jacket, toying with the fabric of your white shirt. You nudged him again, reassuring that he was doing everything right, that at least now, he was safe. With you, he was safe.
One of your hands etched the alluring edges of his jawline, travelling down his body and stopping at the jacket. Index finger under the collar, you tugged on the silver material, earning a deeper, expectant sigh from the man. As you snapped the button, pushing the outerwear apart to give you access to his accessories, you felt the metal - warm from the impossible heat oozing from Seonghwa, and slid your digits down the middle of the chest, stopping momentarily at the solar plexus, catching the erratic rhythm of his heart, so intense that you would not be shocked if it were to jump out at any second. You pulled at the black material of his tank top, forcing him to be up right against you, and to stop him from attempting to apologise any more, shifted attention to direct him by his chin. At your mercy, Seonghwa followed. Plush lips parted in anticipation, glossy orbs gaining a darker undertone in the palette contained within, he waited for your final say.
“Did you miss me?”
“Yes. Damn, yes. So much. Too much.” he whispered feverishly, fingers digging into your hips as he sensed your intentions.
“In what ways did you miss me, Seonghwa darling?” knowing that he would achieve nothing if he were to close the gap now, your reawakened passion darted between watching how your mouth moved as you spoke, and studying your irises, head clouded by what had been, and what could be.
“In… every way.”
“Oh, baby, you’re going to have to be a lot more detailed than that.” you mumbled against his lips, leaning away just as he was about to instinctively seek you out.
“I… your company… your words…”
“Should I move? So we can talk?” you teased, jokingly trying to detangle yourself, but to no avail as Seonghwa’s hold got only stronger, and you felt the leather of his trousers fully aligned and pressed against yours. He was impatient, seeking any form of friction, and yet was still holding out well.
“No… please Y/N.”
“Then tell me, what did you miss, exactly, so I can help you out?” an intensity behind the question threw Seonghwa off balance, making his head spin. Your newfound mastery of the dual renaissance bled onto the pages of the future, yet to be written, determined by every action.
“Your lips.”
“Mhm,” you leaned closer, planting a pack on his lips when he least expected it. Just enough to make him realise what you had done, but not any more, denying him the satisfaction of falling into you. Upon hearing his frustrated whine - music to your growing desire, you continued, “what else?”
“Your- your tongue.” he stuttered, eyelashes fluttering as he glanced everywhere except at you, all while rocking ever so slightly on the spot.
“Elaborate, sweetheart, or do I need to drag everything out of you?” you tightened your hold on his chin, dragging him back to you.
“No. Goodness… this is embarrassing…”
“Oh, is my poor baby getting shy? Since when? You always made such pretty sounds for me and now can’t tell me what you want. How am I supposed to take that, hm?” Seonghwa’s cheeks transformed before you, traversing every shade of pink before settling on the deepest hue, “will you be good for me, Hwa? Will you tell me what you missed?”
“I,” he paused, reconsidering, weighing his words, “I miss the way you make me lose my breath when you kiss me. I miss how you unravel me, ruin me with your tongue and mouth around my cock. I miss the feeling of you riding me, I love how every part of you and I is riddled in pleasure as I fill you up with cum and how you don’t stop until I am barely present, and then you bring me right back. I miss how you know me. How you- how you taste. I miss you, Y/N,” he shot at lightning speed, stumbling over his words as he revealed the scenes of his long-standing collections of fantasies that echoed from when you had lived heart to heart, body to body.
The depiction set you ablaze more fiercely than before, and any hints of fear were fully replaced by a carnal greed for the man before you. Need was an understatement. You redefined sin with your voiceless urgency, pushing yourself into Seonghwa’s arms fully, feeling a considerably stronger pressure against your hips where he was standing - clearly you were not the only one who was damning the existence of locks and doors that were barring you from direct access to your apartment.
“See, was that so hard? Now, let me show you how much I miss you.”
A rush, an all consuming energy, a passion that you had not known, taken for granted and realised only when you purposefully lost it and gained it back thanks to Seonghwa being the one to not give up on you, on the flame the two of you created. Your lips moved in a seamless tandem as you stumbled forwards, pushing Seonghwa closer and closer to the door. Fortunately, he had a good enough sense of his surroundings to not trip, falling only for you. You hummed into the sensation, heat pooling to your core as you tasted the coolness of his grills. Nipping at his lush lower lip, you beckoned him to deepen the kiss, a request to which he obliged almost immediately, tilting his head for a better angle. Groaning into the intimacy, you fished out your keys, and after a couple of clumsy tries, finally heard the click of the mechanism. With his foot Seonghwa curled around the door, opening it to give the two of you access, and just barely, you managed to catch it back and slam it shut. As soon as the sound reverberated over the two of you, a switch flipped in your lover, and his hands which were previously almost tied to your hips now freely roamed your body, relearning it, tracing every curve like there was nothing better in this world. Like you were the statue of a goddess and he was a devoted sculptor, working on the masterpiece for all of eternity, aware that he would never be able to replicate the true beauty but still remaining fixated on the blessing that was the process.
Shoes left in a messy pile on the doormat - a problem for later, the two of you tripped over one another, choosing to remain in one another’s arms as you finally made it down the corridor and to your bedroom. As you stood by the frame, you ran over Seonghwa’s inner lips with your tongue, seeking access, and relishing in his taste, better than you could have ever recalled even if you made the effort to. Seonghwa tasted of longing, of a faith that was so rare you swore he was a man from long-forgotten myth or fairy tale, and of the slightest hint of strawberry that he loved so much - the first contraband not meant for human ruin that you had arranged transport and distribution for. Tongue grazing the gold that covered his lower teeth you were finally fully aware, trusting the now; you were not dreaming, you were with him, and you need not deny yourself nor him.
You led him deeper into the room, patient as he felt for the bed behind him to obediently take a seat. Taking his glasses off his head, leaving them on top of a dresser, and motioned for him to rid himself of the jacket and gloves, an order that was punctuated by the articles falling with a thud to the floor. Chuckling to yourself as you recalled Seonghwa’s usual concern with neatness and organisation, the action turned to be a confirmation of his yearning for you. Your own jacket now hanging off the back of a chair located in the far corner of the room, you sauntered back to Seonghwa, swinging a leg over his lap and taking a comfortable seat, facing him. His breath hitched as you grinded closer, feeling his clothed arousal against your body. Following the motion with a few more moves of your hips, Seonghwa gasped, letting his head fall forward, forehead hitting the crook of your neck.
“Y/N, please.”
“Please what?”
“I need you…”
“How do you need me?” you coaxed every wish out of him, gaining pleasure every time he would pause to contain his urge to hide, to back out of answering you, aware of the consequences if he dared to question or dishonour your demands in this sultry ritual.
“I need your mouth, please love, I cannot stand this.”
“But it is right here,” you pointed at your lips, reddened from the previous contact, a coy smile rendering Seonghwa helpless.
“Do you not feel it? Please Y/N I am begging you I need you to su-”
“Not so fast, pretty boy, I need you to convince me.” you cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “can you do that for me?”
“Yes, a million times yes. Please.”
“I suppose I’ll be nice and help you with my clothes,” one button, another, it seemed that Seonghwa was counting with you, ravenous. His hands undid the button and zipper of your trousers, pulling at them to ask for you to let him slide them off. In a few practised moves, you were left only in your bra and panties, a lacy white, earning whispers of praise from Seonghwa, a love for just how well the piece he had bought you some time ago looked, and you, by a twist of fate, happened to choose to wear today.
“Will you lie down for me? All the way up,” without further explanation, Seonghwa shimmied backwards until his head practically hit the headboard, eyes remaining on you, widening as you hastily took off your panties, exposing what he had been pleading for. Crawling towards him, you placed a hand on his chest to tap him out of a lustful stupor, “now darling, can you show me how much you missed my taste?” a nod, another, but you did not move, “words, Seonghwa, I need words.”
“Yes, let me taste your pussy, please.”
“Of course, since you asked so nicely.”
Positioning yourself over Seonghwa’s face, you gripped onto the headboard and lowered yourself until a hungry tongue ran over your already soaked folds, making you gasp. With tentative licks he drew tender, slow circles over your clit before dragging his tongue back to taste you fully, moving in and out of your hole, curling into it. He returned his attention to your sensitive bud, rolling right over its tip, earning a rewarding moan which spurred his eagerness to drive you to higher pleasure. Knuckles turning white from your efforts to maintain at least some illusion of balance, your breaths quickened as he continued to run his tongue over your core, accelerating the buildup of your climax with every flick. Attentive, worshipping every part of you, he sucked on your clit, relishing in the taste of your slick that now coated him.
His hands found purchase on your thighs, levelling you and bringing you even closer to him until his nose was pressed against you, and tongue driven deeper into your wet cunt. A parched man, Seonghwa groaned against you as he felt the first signs of your approaching orgasm, with the vibration sending an electrifying jolt straight to your core.
“Ah- Hwa I-”
“You taste so good, thank you, love,” he mumbled from under you, only to return to abusing your heat with his swift tongue, speeding up as he felt your pussy begin to clench, beg for more, and a light trembling start to course through your muscles. Burying his head between your legs and lapping at the nectar from the lustful, voracious pokes into your hole at the very base to intricate sensuality over your clit, Seonghwa drove you over the edge.
Supporting you through your orgasm with his powerful arms, he moaned as you rode it out, drinking your release and revelling in its sweetness. Stars in your vision, you struggled to lower yourself off your lover, a shudder running over your body as he lifted you a little higher, sliding upwards to give himself a better angle. The action snapped you out of a loss, and you found yourself kneeling next to him, smiling in gratitude.
“Such a good boy for me, thank you my love.”
“Always. May I… kiss you?” he inquired meekly, wondering if his present state could potentially deter you.
“Of course,” you leaned in, closing the space, tasting yourself on Seonghwa’s lips, tongue and grills, but even then, nothing could be more perfect. His hand stretched to run over the side of your face, motivating you to come closer. Fingers in your hair, tugging ever so gently left you breathless. Breaking away, you mumbled promises against his lips, hands moving to work on his leather trousers.
Getting the hint, his top, too, was soon found strewn on the floor, leaving him in the accessories that appeared to only highlight his beauty, so meticulously picked and paired that you had to force to take your gaze away. His irresistible tanned body, every rise and fall of his chest highlighted by the shadows that decorated the room. His beguiling, glazed over expression that was trained on you as you planted kiss after kiss on his torso, each making him question if he could ever breathe again.
“I missed you, Hwa, so,” one peck, “so,” another, “much,” ending below his navel, hand hovering over his member, so painfully erect that you almost felt guilty for getting him to eat you out first.
“I missed you ah-” hand coated in precum and your spit, you positioned it at the base of his cock, causing the abrupt cut in his response. With a steady pumping, you addressed Seonghwa, feigning obliviousness.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“I- I- fuck-” squeezing its girth, you rubbed circles over the tip, making him lose his train of thought, or its remnants.
“So?” holding his dick in place, you waited for his response before reacting to his earlier words.
“Y/N I missed you- ah shi-” upon hearing the sought after phrase you lowered your head.
Opening your mouth, you shifted position to take in as much of him as you could, gliding your tongue against the shaft in practised motions and moaning as you felt him twitch with the warmth. The dribble that ran down the still exposed length added to the wantonness of the situation as you left behind any wish to remain cautious with Seonghwa; after all, he had been explicit with his love for ruin. Centering yourself, you relax your jaw further, taking in more until you could sense the tip approaching the back of your throat. You placed one hand on your lover’s pubic bone, warning him to not buck his hips, even though you were perfectly trusting of him remaining obedient. Dragging your head up and back down, it was easier moving to the sounds escaping from Seonghwa’s throat.
Gripping onto the bed sheets, he was abandoning the clarity and resolve with which he had showed up at your door so many times. Rose after rose he had not been sure if it was you he was convincing or himself. But here, amidst the unfathomably divine pleasure, Seonghwa was merely grateful for how trivial it was, how natural it was for you to take him back. His high was fast-approaching, but before he could act on it you were already removing yourself with a lewd pop, fingers between your folds and twisting to massage your overstimulated clit. Unclasping your bra, you noticed Seonghwa’s otherwise unfocused gaze immediately switching to paying close attention to your breasts, cock twitching in anticipation as you repositioned yourself to be on top of him. Teasing the tip of his leaking member by trailing it between your folds, you watched Seonghwa’s face contort in pleasure once more, wholly submitted to you as you guided it inside of your pussy. As you sank down on him, sighing from the way in which he filled you up, pushing against your walls in all the right places, Seonghwa grunted, eyes squeezed shut, overwhelmed from the stimulation. It was clear that he was using all the strength he had left to hold himself back from acting rashly - he wanted you, he missed you, and he was not about to let this heaven go.
You started to ride him, hands on either side of his body as you lifted your hips only to drive them back down, sheathing his member inside your cunt. Conscious of the fact that he should let you take the full lead, Seonghwa took to searching for anything better to hold than the sheets, crumpled into oblivion and leaving little in terms of comfort. Grounding him as you rocked your hips forward and back, you found his arms, gliding upwards until your fingers intertwined. Seonghwa’s eyes snapped open and he stared at you open-mouthed, in disbelief at your initiative for what he had clearly remembered you labelling as ‘too close for comfort’. Instead of abandoning the gesture, you tightened your hold, your own moans amplifying and joining his breathlessness as the knot in your core grew tighter and tighter with every thrust.
“Is this- what- you cannot live without, Hwa?”
“Fuck- yes, yes, yes-” words spilled out of him while you picked up speed, spurred on by the nudge of his hips that signified he was close. When he was not submerging himself into pure darkness, he could only manage to register the rhythmic motion of your breasts and an
“Can’t stop thinking of this pussy even when your cock is stuffed inside, huh?”
“Love this pussy- please, Y/N…”
“Love to be fucked dumb by me?”
“Yes, please I- I am so close Y/N…” his wavering voice and feeble pants cried for affection, which you readily provided even though you had no plans of slowing down.
“I know, baby. Fill me up, fill me up with your cum. You can do it darling-”
Seonghwa did not need any more encouragement. With a final groan, suppressed only by a snapping of his jaw to turn the sound into a prolonged hiss, his hips bucked uncontrollably into you, painting your pulsing walls with ropes of white, the awaited release rendering any speech into indecipherable babble. But you still had your high to chase, and restarted your movements, grinding your hips over his throbbing member to build up your climax while Seonghwa held onto you, whining from the excessive stimulation.
“Such a good boy for me, letting me cum over your cock.”
“I- this is too much I-”
“Are you feeling okay, baby?”
“Don’t, please do not stop- I want to make you- ah, cum,” he answered, each word uneven as you raised yourself repeatedly until, with one final movement and the stroke of the tip against your most sensitive spot, you collapsed on top of your lover, a shiver running over you as your pussy clenched around his dick, milking him of the last of his release.
Rolling over to the side, but not quite wishing to move, you remained in one another’s arms, sweat glistening in the night light, adoration ablaze in every feature. Sliding out his softening member from your warmth, a shy smile adorned his lips as a mixture of slick and cum followed, spilling onto your gorgeous thighs. He tapped you on the shoulder, helping you up so that your faces would be level with one another, and pressed his forehead to yours. He focused on your proximity, pulling you closer, closer until there was no space left. He never wanted to let you go. Never again. If you so wished, you could walk away, but he was sure that his heart would remain with you.
If you wanted to, you could throw it away, burn it, cut it into pieces, but it would still be yours. As he saw his future being written in your pupils, he planted a loving kiss on your lips, for it to be returned with just as much feeling. No longer did you wish to hide it away from him. Your emotion, your expression and vision were his. It was clear to you that there was no one else in this universe who could be trusted more than him. If he so wished, you would let him leave you in the cold. If he decided you need not create, you would agree. If innovation was not in his plans, you would follow. In love was sacrifice, in love was offering, in love was future, in love were you and him. It was as simple as the unfurling of a pearl white rose, as clear as ink on white paper.
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Enchanted | Elijah Hewson x reader (social media au)
Summary: In which Elijah Hewson is enchanted to meet the band’s stylist.
Pairing: Elijah Hewson x fem!stylist!reader
A/n: In honour of Eli’s favourite Taylor Swift song being Enchanted.
Masterlist
Vman
Liked by Yourusername, Inhalerdublin and 876900 others
Vman: Inhaler in our latest photoshoot. We want to say a big thank you to the band’s stylist @Yourusername for styling the band in our latest collection.
Comments:
Inhalerfan65: Everyone say thank you Y/n!
> Elijahhewsonsguitarstring: Thank you Queen 👑
BobbySkeetz: What a bunch of good looking fellas.
> ElijahHewsonsgf: You’re so real for that Bobby.
Yourusername: Always lovely to give these boys a good outfit. (They don’t have any fashion sense😅)
> ElijahHewson: Excuse you?? We have very good fashion
> Yourusername: A leather jacket with jeans is not very fashionable😋
> ElijahHewson: I want a new stylist, this one is mean.
Yourusername
Liked by Inhalerdublin, Inhalerfan2 and 764800 others
Yourusername: I tried to put them in something other than leather jackets but they insisted on wearing them😒.
Tagged: @InhalerDublin
Comments:
ElijahHewson: I’m sorry that you don’t understand how highly fashionable leather jackets are🙄.
> Yourusername: Whatever you want to believe Hewson😚
> Inhalerfan24: Why do I kinda ship them🤔
> Bobbyskeetzzzzzfan: Same tbh they would be cute together.
Elijahhewsonsguitarstring: it’s the Alex Turner effect.
RyanMcmahon: We still look handsome as hell😌
JoshJenkinson: Excuse you? I wore a jeans jacket!
> Yourusername: Thank you Josh at least there is someone that listens to their stylist😊
Yourusername:
Liked by ElijahHewson, Bobbyskeetz and 765000 others
Yourusername: Mission get Elijah in something else than a leather jacket: completed💪🏼
Tagged: @ElijahHewson
Comments:
Elijahhewsonsguitarstring: The last picture OMG🥵!!
ElijahHewson: Are you happy now?
> Yourusername: Very happy Mr Hewson😚
Inhalerfan23: Everyone say thank you Y/n!!
> BobbySkeetz: Thank you Y/n.
>RyanMcmahon: Robert wtf?
JoshJenkinson: What a handsome looking fella☺️
> yourusername: Josh you only speak facts😏
>ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: she’s not every trying to hide the fact that her and Eli are together☺️
> inhalerfan75: Right, I mean they’re hanging out alone and she just called him handsome…
InhalerDublin
Liked by Yourusername, Bobbyskeetz and 7649000 others
InhalerDublin: Love will get you there music video is out now. Big thanks to @Yourusername for the outfits.
Comments:
Inhalerfan2: Ryan is looking a little too fine in that suit🥵
BobbySkeetz: That guy in the first pic is looking mad fine.
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: Thank you Y/n for putting Elijah in that suit🫠
> Yourusername: You are very welcome😌
Yourusername
Liked by ElijahHewson, Bobbyskeetz and 435000 others
Yourusername: Soft launch ig🩶
Comments:
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: We all know who this is Y/n.
Inhalerfan23: I swear if this isn’t Eli..
> Bobbyskeetzzzfan: it’s so obvious that this is Eli
ElijahHewson
Liked by Yourusername, JoshJenkinson and 875000 others
ElijahHewson: 🩶
Comments:
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: it’s definitely y/n!!
> inhalerfan2: They both posted a soft launch a day after each other that’s so obvious.
Yourusername
Liked by ElijahHewson, Bobbyskeetz and 876000 others
Yourusername: Perks of being their stylist is hanging out with them.
Comments:
Bobbyskeetz: We all know that I’m your favourite😋
> Yourusername: You wish, it’s Josh😗
ElijahHewson: I knew you actually loved us😉
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: Again a picture of just Eli. They’re so in love!!!!
JoshJenkinson: We love you Y/n!
Yourusername
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Yourusername: My favourite fashion icon🫶🏼
Tagged: @ElijahHewson
Comments:
ElijahHewson: 🩶🫶🏼
Inhalerfan3: Mom and dad🫶🏼
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: I knew it!
BobbySkeetz: Finally!!!!!!
JoshJenkinson: So happy for the both of you☺️
ElijahHewson
Liked by Yourusername, Bobbyskeetz and 875000 others
ElijahHewson: When I have her on my mind🩶
Tagged: @Yourusername
Comments:
Yourusername: My love🫶🏼🩶
ElijahHewsonsguitarstring: Cutest couple ever!!
Inhalerfan23: I want what they have!!
#elijah hewson x reader#elijah hewson#bobby skeetz#josh jenkinson#ryan mcmahon#inhaler#social media au#enchanted
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BPP!
I won’t even beat around the bush. This is a Jimin Fishing ask inspired by this lovely Twitter thread:
https://twitter.com/pjmngallery/status/1671537322075082753?s=46&t=0p2xrEO4ePcaUttUPmcMmA
So BPP, please do us the honour and drop your Jimin is so sexy pictures 😋
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Hi Anon,
Your link.
I appreciate you being upfront about this being a fishing ask. But rather than post pictures as I usually do, I'd rather fill you all in on what I've been doing recently.
I've been watching fancams...
Jikook and rapline member fancams, specifically. Because, before anything else, I'm a fan (ARMY), and I need my fix of their god-tier performances on a regular basis. Coincidentally, I was going through my playlist of Jimin fancams before deciding to open up my Tumblr on a whim to answer a random ask, and yours seems most appropriate for what I was just doing.
So without further ado,
Jimin:
ON era Jimin is so fucking underrated. Timestamps of note: 1:10 - 1:38 (for peak Jimin energy), 2:43 (for Namjoon's walk), 2:43 - 4:02 (for jikook and Jimtonin concentrate).
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I'm still gagged. The passion? The abs? The fact this man was singing live while maintaining that energy? The immaculate synchronization with the background dancers? The masterclass in charm and fan engagement he showed? The fanchants???? First of Park Jimin then BTS? Y'all, I'm gagged still, months later. Park Jimin did that shit with Set Me Free Pt 2. I'm looking forward to the rest of his music this year and next.
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Also, streaming his MVs are good and all, but his music show live performances shouldn't be neglected either. First of all, they're very good performances. It's clear Jimin put a lot of work into them and the quality shows. Second of all, the streaming filters on music show channels are less than on HYBE channels on youtube, for whatever reason. Just FYI.
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One of the first times I saw him perform live. And no offense to everyone else, but the difference in skill he showed here, in a song that wasn't even his, compared to everybody on that stage.... I had to pay attention.
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Pardon my language but he's a beast, a serpent, if Lucifer had a love affair with blonde hair dye and tight skinny jeans, he'd be Jimin in this Gayo performance. Wholly demonic and entirely cherubic at the same time. There isn't a single idol in existence who has his energy.
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Nobody is immune from Kitty Gang Jimin and I'm no different.
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(In 2026 I want him in blood red dreads beaded in cowries, his back tats fully on display, and a military scar running up his left arm.... but I'd be alright with his angelic visuals and persona kept intact and that highlighted instead :))
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Anybody who says they don't know why BTS is on top is lying. BTS has Jimin. Enough said.
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In this one performance, you see at least 8 sides of his personality. He's incredibly aware, expressive, and empathetic.
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Endeared.
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Endeared Pt 2.
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Anyway, I miss them. Jungkook will be dropping new music soon, but I also really want something new from Jimin and Namjoon, so I hope we get that too before the end of the year.. maybe just before Tae's release or right after. I need it.
If you've read and watched the fancams to get to this point, here's a few random Jimin pics from my gallery just because...
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JIMIN AND THE APATHY OF THE FANDOM TO SUPPORT HIM.
The constant apathy of the fandom in general to support Jimin's projects has made me question more than once if it's really his fandom too or if it's just a part - quite a big part I'm sure - of the fandom that is a fan of him.
Here we are again. New year. New post. Same topic. ARMY's apathy to support Jimin. Different excuses, same result.
I haven't talked much about this topic on my blog these days because I'm honestly tired of the damn negativity and because I was dealing with more negativity in my normal life, but I want to say something about everything that happens whenever Jimin releases a song, no matter if it's solo or with someone else.
It's not the first time I've made a post like this and I don't think it will be the last either, but I'd like to be wrong.
The apathy, the disaffection this fandom, in general, feels about Jimin is disturbing. Jimin's achievements are good when they serve to show them off to an "enemy" fandom but when it comes time to support him, everyone has excuses.
It happened last year and it happened again this week.
The absurd fights between kpop fandoms have always seemed absurd to me, although some I can understand but for that to be an obstacle to support the one who is supposed to be your favourite artist seems stupid to me.
From what I could read over the weekend, and before the official release of 'VIBE', several people were saying that they didn't like the artist that Jimin decided to collaborate with. The reasons I don't fully understand and frankly, that's not the problem, the problem is that their problem with that artist and his fans outweighs the love and respect they supposedly have for Jimin and that's something my brain doesn't quite understand. To be honest, my brain has never entirely understood the reasons that many people use for not supporting Jimin's projects as they do with the projects of the other members.
I've always wondered why that happens, why that feeling of rejection almost, that many in this fandom feel for Jimin. I myself have said that it's envy, stupidity and fear and although I still believe it's all that, I think it's something else too. And someday I'd like to know what it is.
This week when many Jimin fanbase and fansites were asking to buy and stream the song 'VIBE' to take it to number one on the charts, many replied asking why, that they better do it for Jimin's solo album, that this honour should be won by him alone and not in collaboration with someone else, the answers are obviously stupid, but at the same time it's sad to read the excuses that many use only when it's about Jimin. That didn't happen with Jungkook, RM and Hobi's recent collaborations, none of them was for their solo albums, they were all for someone else's album and yet ARMY did the best they could, to support them.
The Korean press today basically confirmed that Jimin's album will be released next month. This may be the ultimate test by which many will measure this fandom and their support and respect for Jimin. Many used the excuse that they better save their efforts for Jimin's solo debut, well, let's hope they are true to their word, there will be no more excuses that will be valid, not that the others have any validity.
I've always said that Twitter is not the representation of the fandom, it's only a tiny part of it and while I still hold that opinion, I also understand that on Twitter are many of the most important accounts that organise everything from voting to chart tracking and even funding, so it's worrying and sad that those accounts and therefore their followers don't seem to put the same effort they do for other members when it comes to Jimin.
I am aware that this fandom is quite large and while there are many, probably thousands of "fans" who are apathetic to all things Jimin there are also millions who love him. Who supports him and is excited about whatever Jimin decides to show us on his album. I'm definitely one of them.
I was excited when the guys announced that they would be doing more solo projects, including albums. I can't wait for what they all show us, everything we've seen and heard so far has been great! And so, I can't wait to see and listen to what Jimin has to show. I know it will be unique, I know it will be great, and I know Jimin will once again prove why he is not only the IT Boy of Korea but also, the IT Boy of music.
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🫵weekly wednesday tag 🫵
omg I (simple old me?) have been bestowed upon the honour of coming up with these questions??? i would like to thank the academy for this most sacred honour 😋
1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? I think I gotta say taylor swift OBVI. first off im gonna dropping ME! acoustic version. Then I’m gonna hope lover deluxe is already recorded, drop that. If not i will make sure to text Jack and tell him that we need to record it so that i get it either way 😼. Then I would find out the definite truth of what happened between her and Karlie Kloss. I’d wire myself (as in me- me) a few million dollars, pet the cats and then post something really random on her instagram story. Literally want to make the public go absolutely bananas trying to figure out why taylor posted a random twitter meme. I have a lot of faith to believe this could all happen in an hour but I would try. SO hard.
2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take?I don’t think we should still be discovering animals. like what do you mean in the year of our lord 2023 we are STILL finding animals?? no they should all be discovered and if they havent been then i think they should stay undiscovered.
3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? I feel like we’re all expecting me to say something Taylor related but honestly I could teach a masterclass on the psychology of Ryan Murphy. I hate that man and i have so much to say about him and his productions
4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? I cant think of anything substantial to actually contribute but i want Carl Gallagher to have a fruity little vape. I also want to see him quit the force and flourish in a new job!
5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). I’m gonna go with greeks as a Percy Jackson stan. I asked my bsf who is an expert in greek mythology. She said: “you’re a Aphrodite child cuz you’re a hopeless romantic and you appreciate beauty. You’re very particular in how you’re viewed and how everything you produce is viewed (what you write, how your feed looks like, etc.)” - I’m gonna have to agree with her on Aphrodite
6. what’s something you love about yourself? I think i’m so very very funny
7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 😴👁️👩💻✈️☕️
8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? Realistically i think the ONLY person i could beat in a fight is Liam and honest to god im not even sure i could.
9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!
- I’m double jointed
- I sleep on the left side of the bed
- I’ve never had pumpkin pie
10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? I do! my son (cat) is named Chidi after the good place!
11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence
self explanatory.
12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? see i gotta have a special lil drinky drink everyday and i mean my little drinky drinks are free so i am likw 80% gingerbread chai at any given time. Alternatively, an iced chestnut praline latte w/ praline cold foam.
13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life?
2019- its nice to have a friend- taylor swift
2020- ribs - lorde
2021- nothing new - taylor swift
2022- first love / late spring- mitski OR orlando- leith ross
2023- true blue - boygenuis OR now that we don’t talk - taylor swift.
Thank you friends thats all i got :)
I Tag: @deedala @darlingian @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @too-schoolforcool @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @sam-loves-seb @thisdivorce @xninetiestrendx @scarcrosseduntouched @juliakayyy @y0itsbri @grumble-fish @grumpymickmilk @transmickey @surviving-maybe @metalheadmickey @heymrspatel @auds-and-evens @deathclassic @flamingbluepanda @crossmydna @sleepyfacetoughguy @vintagelacerosette @depressedstressedlemonzest @thepupperino @squidyyy23 @energievie 🫶🫶
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Hiya! Umm... I saw your long AAPI/cultural appropriation essay, and you seem to know what you're talking about. Way more than I do.
I'm in a tricky spot and I don't know what to do about it. (I know you may not be the right person but I don't know who else to ask)
So. I'm a traumagenic system. I was lonely, and anime was there for me. I have introjects, sure. But we're polyfrag and it's fuzzy, and for the whole system it feels more than just a source media thing.
We grew up DREAMING about Japan. We studied japanese and tried to sing the original lyrics of songs and search up their meanings as a kid. I'd sometimes try to make english versions of them. Not to hide the original, but because my family couldn't understand the beauty I saw. And I felt such a connection to it...
Now I'm rambling... 😅
I've always wanted to teach Japanese, to use Japanese every day in my life. When I wrote stories I would go search through all the Japanese to english dictionaries and search for the perfect name with the perfect meaning. I thought all the names were gorgeous and appreciated how special they were.
I try and bring Japanese culture into my life every day, even. I listen to Japanese idol groups and pop. I'm still trying to learn japanese, and further more I want to teach it to my community, to create a place where we can come together and learn this language together, as a small country community. To learn and embrace some of their cultures and try new things along the way.
I know that I am not Japanese. I don't want to appropriate them. But I find them so... or not them. But the language and culture and almost everything I find out has me entranced and wanting to learn more. It almost feels like my purpose, or a huge part of my life. My goal. My mission.
I live on the disability pension. I will probably never see Japan in person, and I've heard disability is frowned upon there anyway, to some degree. I don't know if I could even live there, especially if my workability was low. I'm not so young anymore. Even then there are stories of all the people who aim for their dreams and don't make it there. So I dropped it from my cards. I decided if I couldn't do it there... maybe I could do it where I am.
If I'm culturally appropriating Japan and it's cultures I'm happy to give them all the credit. I'm proud of where I found what I have. I adore it and would lift it up any day. But I also adore what I'm doing, what I'm bringing to life. I'm making some Japanese-Aussie vibe culture hybrid or something. I don't know!
But I wouldn't give it up for anyone. If a Japanese person asked me too... I'd prefer to start life over in Japan with no money or resources to my name. I'd probably prefer to live their homeless. I couldn't organise it myself. But I'd take a harsher punishment rather than let it go. I'd prefer to embrace it entirely than ever give it up.
But people online keep saying that nobody should use the names, the language, the cultures... I don't know what to do. I... don't have an answer.
I don't want to be for something so harmful. But I've posted about how names are beyond something that could be taken away. I've disagreed with people of colour about Japanese examples. I've never met a truly Japanese people, beyond watching lessons and shows and blogs and cultural breakdowns. I don't know what they'd say. I've heard that Japanese people praise other cultures for trying to learn their language, from articles online detailing what foreigners should expect. But I know Japan is big on honour culture, so they might just think it and not say their true thoughts to be polite.
Idk what to do!! I want to uplift everyone around me. To build villages for people who I come in contact with. To create openness and to be respectful and create fond memories. I don't want to go down as someone oppressive. But I want to go down as me.
I have no Japanese heritage, no japanese blood or family. I have no rights except for years with nothing else.
I know the answer some people would give is to embrace my own culture. But well... Aussie culture is sort of memes and culture-mix-soup. Beyond white man capitalism and conquering and the white people bible. Aussie culture is "it's hot here and we're like smart, funky, weird sounding bogans". I sort of want more than that.
I want to preserve their (Japans) culture how I found it, if I can. If I accidentally tamper with it, I want to say that, to let it be known. But I like how it is too mostly.
There are some negatives to it too, I know. Like, LGBT rights in Japan, the mental illness stuff, and more. But I'm not willing to leave because of those bad things.
Sometimes moving forward means taking aspects of different places and furthering them together to make something new. Is that cultural appropriation? Will I get in trouble for doing that? And how can I progress it/myself, how can I aspire and dream of a better world if all the jigzaw blocks are forced down to the table and unmovable. What do I do?
I don't understand it. And I don't know what to do about it.
Help.
(sorry it is so long. Sorry 😅😥)
Reading this back, I feel like the indignant child. "I don't want the other one, I want that one." Is that bad? Idk.
I'll just leave this here. What is your take? What do you& think?
Yeah thats a complex situation that I don't really have any kneejerk direct opinions on it towards. I might actually leave this in my drafts for a bit to think about it some cause theres a multi-dimensional aspect to it and a lot to consider that even I don't think I'm entirely all that knowledgable to comment on
(Especially regarding Japanese culture as I am Not Japanese and while there are similar dynamics in how western / white perspectives influence it, the dynamics are different and the histories are different; additionally, of a lot of the 'main big' Asian groups, Japanese is honestly the one I've had some of the least engagement with as the places I've lived have been heavily Vietnamese, Thai, Chinese, and Korean; we have a couple Japanese marketplaces near but beyond community, I don't have too much personal insight into the intricracies of Japanese culture and their opinions on these matters, so do understand ANYTHING from this post is coming from a Indo-Chinese perspective and anything I say on this topic, is to be taken second / less than any Japanese person that might want to key in on it as well)
I do have to say - from what I can tell from this ask alone (which is not necessarily a best sample, a lot of judgement of respect is best seen in Action and not words which asks are limited to) - I do have to say I really think you have a good intent and a better understanding / concern to the complexities of things than a lot of people I've seen who "really like Japan and Japanese culture" so in my more optimistic, generally wanting-to-give-best-faith and progressive culture-sharing perspective, I would like to encourage the dream and intent cause I think the vision is really great and amazing honestly.
The issue I have is that the practical application is pragmatically difficult and a bit uneasy because, as much as I think you have a lot of good intent and probably more than the average person, you aren't the first nor last white person who found themselves enamored and emotionally bonded with an Eastern Culture and with a full heart and chest wanted to help preserve and care for the culture. I don't say it in a means to be accusatory or aggressive, but more so a thing to be cautious if you want to try both holding your dreams and joys in the most respectful manner - but the rhetoric does sound a bit white savior / white knight adjacent. That is just to say that it's important to remember that, in the end of the day, Japanese people don't need you (a white person) to advocate for them or to save them and the culture doesn't need you to spread or preserve it for them.
I don't like to say it because I think with a lot of caution, respect, and passion, people who really love something can do a lot of good in the world; but (and I don't know if this is the case or just my past experience with white people who want to help Eastern cultures making be a bit cautious) inherently if there is any part of you that feels as though you will be a hero or leader in any way or form towards the Japanese / Japanese culture, I think one of the first things you'd need to make sure you do is to toss that dream of heroics out and take a massively more "follower" and "aid" mindset out.
In the end of the day, if you want to help any eastern culture be preserved and what not, its important that you - someone who has never been raised or lived the life - are never the end point of people reaching to it; the best place your role would and should be is a means of connection and resource provision, because in the end of the day, you are going to always be a student compared to those that have lived their life in the environment
With that in mind, I am a person who really likes the idea of healthy and productive sharing of cultures and respectful interactions between them and I also know that in some places - which I assume Australia might be as well - there is not as an abundant AAPI populace and probably not much of a pre-existing environment / people to engage with so the complexities of "leave it to the people of the culture" is not entirely practical.
So with all that in mind, first thing I'd say is - as I said above - listen to Japanese voices over mine. I'm speaking largely from theoretics on what I've seen in trends in other eastern cultures and my own experiences as well as being a relatively more idealistic and open perspective.
Second thing, I would see if there is any pre-existing niches where there might be at least an AAPI center around where you live - see if there are any events or classes or something that you may realistically be able to get involved in. If there aren't any of those, consider seeing if there are any direct cultural derivatives from that to participate (as in arts, crafts, hobbies, etc) - cause in my experience, stuff like martial arts are open things to engage in and they can help you connect with people more familiar and more engaged with the genuine culture.
The main reason I say this is because - other than the risk of falling into the white savior complex - one of the largest obstacles to doing this respectfully and healthily is putting time and effort into getting around how white / western culture has already distorted your understanding of Japanese culture in ways you probably don't know about. (And this isn't only you, cause I also am 100% sure I don't see Japanese culture correctly due to white / western influences; I'm not particularly qualified to talk about it as a result; its a very hard and very long journey for any not-Japanese person to do to get as untainted, genuine, and complete understanding of the culture as possible)
One of the best ways to navigate working on that is to find people and environments that are less-tainted by white / western lenses and influences and to take a more student lens and approach to it; very much a "sit and listen and reflect and do your unpacking homework"
If none of those are available or reasonably possible due to disability and/or financial things, I would strongly recommend reaching out to Japanese communities online (reddit probably has a good community) and getting advice from them as they will have more insight and ideas than I could think up.
I will say, they might be a lot more hesitant and wary than I am, cause again - from what I've seen, I think I'm considered pretty idealistic and a bit of a dreamer when it comes to including non-AAPI people in cultures (some are even uncomfortable with married-in-white people getting involved; my bestie is married to a Chinese person and he's been derogatorily and regularly considered a 'gweilo'; ie derogatory term meaning "Westerner" / "white man" / "ghost man") so you will probably face a lot of people nay-saying it, but I would hope maybe someone shares a little of the optimism / appreciation for the vision that I do, even if it's a minority.
That said, I think if you do want to honestly go forward with this and try to do so with the most respect and healthiest lens, I think it is important that you inevitably face the amount of distrust a lot of AAPI have towards white / western involvement in their culture face on and deeply develop a very complex and nuanced understanding to your place and position in the overall roles, history, and participation in it. Cause if you do want to help and do want to be a part of it, it's important to understand where YOUR culture comes into play with all of this. Cause you aren't Japanese and you will never be Japanese, even if you were an expect PhD holding person living in Japan. Inherently you will always be the white person engaging with Japanese culture, and so its important to remember that with you, you bring your own culture into this and that is something that has to be dissected in relationship to it all.
Third, and (less important but relevant) I do not at all mean this to diss on the culture or anything, but a lot of Eastern cultures have something of bad blood towards Japan and I don't honestly know the details enough nor have the energy to Properly Get Into It in a way that won't be misread without nuance by White Piss on the Poor Tumblr, but if you don't know what or why that bad blood exists, it'd be good to try to read into it and look into non-Japanese AAPI voices about it. This isn't to say that "its a bad culture", but more so that if we are talking about seeing the history as a whole, its important to know the impacts Japan and Japanese cultures have had on related cultures which, unfortunately, Japan has been a large part of. (China, Phillipines, Korea, etc)
Overall, it'd probably be an unpopular opinion among other AAPI, but I like the vision and passion you have for it and while I'm a bit hesitant to give support because I know how many people say similar things then fail to do all the work it takes to Do It Right ((ie, I honestly haven't really seen it ever, that said I haven't put the effort into trying to see it happen ever)), if you are willing to do all the tedious and life long homework of understanding your culture, Japanese culture, the ways your and Japanese culture interact to impact your understanding of BOTH cultures, white / western history, white / western history with AAPI cultures and Japan's culture, Japan's history within overall AAPI history, etc and are willing to do your due diligence to network, get involved, and engage with less white-tainted and warped parts of the culture AND navigate a lot of the inherent (fair, earned and justified) distrust to white / western involvement in culture, then I don't think you might have some merit to the dream.
Like it's going to be a LOT of work, a life long thing of work and admittedly, you will likely never be the expert or the advocate or the person you idealistically dream to be and that sounds negative, but in Buddhist philosophy, you are never meant to actually obtain perfection and its considered near impossible to reach "true enlightenment", but we aim for it anyways because the ideal is 1) worth aiming for and 2) we do it because it is good to try and do it anyways as the ideal is not necessary to enjoy the good that genuine and good work towards the ideal.
I guess the last parting thing I'd put out is that a really helpful concept and lens I'd recommend sitting on and thinking about is one of my favorite Buddhist lines of thoughts from Shunryu Suzuki here as it might be helpful in persisting against a lot of the inherent obstacles you will face should you genuinely intend to do it right, cause you are going to probably inherently - due to being white, western and not around any actual japanese culture - "the bad horse".
In general, I think in the end, one of the things that also would be really helpful is that I mention a lot of being a student to the Japanese culture and whether or not you want to take the writing in the Zen Buddhist idea of Zen behavior or just generally keeping a very respectful and chronic student lens to any really insurmountably large and complex topic that you are inherently disadvantaged in (such as learning and respecting a culture that you have no inherent place in), I recommend giving Shunryu Suzuki's book on "The Beginner's Mind" a read / listen.
Overall, that book has helped me so much in both mental health, goal seeking, system management, and overall my perspective on people and culture beyond a simple "buddhist" lens so I really really strongly recommend it.
#alter: fei#ask#asks#actually aapi#actuallyaapi#complex ask#the beginners mind#beginners mind#feathers once again slides people the beginners mind#I SWEAR#look its mostly Riku brain that screams about that book#and the whole system just clowns on me for it#because I somehow have large passages memorized despite only listening to it once#but that book sits in my head rent free and I think about it and its concepts on a daily#and Chunn and XIV and Ray regularly have to know it to talk about it with me#its a really fucking good book other than just for the buddhist stuff#its just really good at breaking down the complexities of learning and respecting anything and just how important it is to be bad at someth#*something#its one of the best ways of learning that not only is it okay and natural to suck at things#but it is arguably preferable to suck at things and that sucking is not only OK#but literally important to being good at what you do#even at the expense of never being 'good' at what you do#and that in itself is very freeing#ANYWAYS I GOT OUT OF FEI BRAIN AND INTO RIKU BRAIN JUST#CAUSE THE BOOK IS GOOD I SWEAR TO GOD#EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ IT / LISTEN TO IT I SWEAR TO GOD#favorite book i guess#alter: riku#<- i guess
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5: Marengo & The Rainbow Avengers
Take Two - by BTS
[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]
–🐺–🐺–🐺–
I meant to post this yesterday, in honour of their birthday, but, 24 hours never seem to be quite enough do they? So, here it is, the SUPER-LONG-DETAIL story of how Marengo was unexpectedly saved by 7 Rainbow Avengers, also known as BTS.
CHAPTER 1: MY HEART WAS BROKEN
The date was January 27; 2019. ARASHI japanese boy band that debuted in 1999 got together and in front of a well organised, and somewhat serene, press setting, televised to their fans all over the world including myself, announced that they would go on an indefinite hiatus starting January 1, 2021. Not sure why I wasn't expecting this. This was the first time they every did something like this, and the tell-tell signs had been plenty, but still, had I been ready, it still would have hit as hard as it did.
I remember silently crying, as Ohno their leader and my bias, who is the one in the middle of the above picture spoke and told us how, basically. he was tired and just wanted to spend his time on his boat fishing his days away. Fishing had always been his passion, but he also always dreamed of becoming the captain of his own ship Monkey D. Luffy watch out!. ARASHI had quite a few of their own shows and in one of them (Arashi Ni Shiayagare) we the fans, and the other members, got to cheer him on as he studied to get a licence to drive a boat. He succeeded, got his boat and for the rest of that year’s show he’d take us on adventures with his boat, fishing with famous Japanese celebrities as guests it was still a show after all. Every time he was on his boat he looked so fucking happy. So when he finally made the announcement, yes, I was shocked, yes, I was distraught, but ultimately I was happy for him. Just a whole STORM arashi means storm of emotions really.
You need to understand, at that point, I had been their fan since 2009. If my Japanese is at the level it is right now, 1/10 of it is definitely thanks to them, since I used to regularly translate all their songs, dramas, shows, etc. To imagine I only started listening to them as a fun way to help me study Japanese … Anyways, back on track … their announcement happened on my 10 year anniversary (their 20th) and I remember the following day coming back from work, with their music in my ears, stopping at a traffic light wanting to cry as I kept thinking about them and right in that moment, I looked up at the big screen and so the following ad:
That evening was the first time I actually EVER seen the boys. Before that evening I had only heard about them, A LOT, and now in hindsight I know why. The first time had been some time in 2017, while I was looking for japanese articles to translate, I happened upon one that was about ARASHI, obviously, I got super excited and decided to read it. Only to find out how this journalist was basically describing why according to him ARASHI stood no comparison against this 7 boy band sensation “called BTS”. I was so irritated by that article I didn’t even bother to read their country of origin and for the longest time I decided they were Chinese 🤡. Mind you, I never once thought of BTS even after reading that article, my mind was ARASHI ARASHI ARASHI FOR DREAM! but that evening when I saw that ad I hated them. So I walked away, sad and angry O THE DRAMA! 🤡 but just like the first time I heard of them, I never thought of them again.
2020 rolled in, and just right before COVID, I started exploring new things on the internet amongst which I discovered a certain at the time budding actor and become a big fan not about to give myself out, so I won’t tell you who 😜, Let's call them X. What does a fan with extensive editing knowledge do? Why fan-edits of course! So I started making edits of X, and one day, as I was helping make X trend on Twitter for an event they were attending, on my timeline a particular video kept reappearing. So I clicked:
CHAPTER 2: I WAS LITERALLY SPEECHLESS AND MESMERIZED
Within ARASHI, only Ohno could actually dance, but these boys ... these boys could ALL dance and apparently they also sang, some holding one hell of a tune, and that beat, ooh the entire production…: JUST WOW. I must have watched the video another 10 times at least and all the while it never got old, in fact it only got better with every listen; so I then ended up adding ON to my playlist.
This day was February 25, 2020 and this is the date I unknowingly became ARMY and also the day I celebrate my anniversary on. Now you need to understand, my COVID days were mostly making edits of X, supporting X, trending for X on twitter so at this point I didn’t have the thoughts of wanting to find more about BTS. In my head, I found a song I liked, and thought "cool, I guess I don't necessesarily have to hate them ..." I quickly looked up JUNGKOOK because you don't belt a not like that and act like it didn't happened and kept it moving.
Couple of days later, I’d start working on my first edit of X which blow up. This edit was was made using this one song I heard on a compilation which was circulating on twitter, it had a “certain dancer named Jimin” doing high kicks. The background song they used was named; UGH!. Sure, the dancer was hella skilled … but that song, I couldn’t stop playing the clip and though it was probably because of Jimin, my brain decided that it was the song can’t believe I found the exact edit!!! 👇🏾
Did I realise that UGH! which took me forever to find as I didn’t understand it was the name of the song at first 😂😂😂 was sung by BTS; as in THE SAME BTS I apparently didn’t hate so much anymore? NOPE. It didn’t even occurred to me because THAT BTS was a 7 member boy band not a hardcore 3 member rap group 😬😬😬. Anyways, I became obsessed with UGH! And as one does when in confinement, I started looking for people who would share my same enthusiasm, and since I had already fallen into the world of reactions on youtube for TV series THANKS A LOT COVID 🙃I thought I’d look to see if there was anyone who would react to songs, in this case, UGH! By the rapper group named BTS still to this point I had NO CLUE that they were the same people… I had to download an mp4 version from the internet in order to do the edit, so I didn't even know if it came from an album or where else and what I found was:
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They were hella excited and I really could relate with that because that song always made me wanna turn the fuck up, but most of all, they were black people interested in something asian, and that for me was something I could heavily appreciated. Everyday I kept coming back to watch that reaction because it just made me so happy, and gave me so much energy, so I decided to see if they had any more songs from this rapper group. The first video that came up was their reaction to ON KINETIC MANIFESTO. THE AMOUNT OF DOTS THAT STARTED CONNECTING IN MY HEAD WERE SO MANY YOU’D THINK I DISCOVERED THE THREE LAWS OF EINSTEIN!
You should have seen my face when I discovered that UGH! was on the same album as ON: 🤡. This also made me want to look up the one member whose features really appealed to me the most, not gonna lie to y'all, it was love at first sight: RM. Wanting to know who he was I went on wikipedia, typed BTS and kept clicking every members name until I found him wikipedia has them ordered by age. I started reading about him and chuckled when I found out he was the leader what can I say, i seem to have had a type! aaaand he thought himself english and that made him even sexier in my eyes. When I tell you I spent a couple of days being obsessed with Namjoon 😬😬😬 ...
Anyways, I think a part of me wanted to start being invested, thus, before continuing watching more reactions with FoSquad I decided I wanted to listen to MOTS7, in its entirety, by myself and aside from ON and UGH! The only other song that I absolutely adored was Filter. AND SO began my search for the uncredited female singer that sang Filter, whom I couldn't find anywhere, NOT A SINGLE GOOGLE PAGE HAD THE NAME OF THE FEMALE SINGER THAT SANG FILTER ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST ALBUMS OF THE YEAR. For a couple of days this is what my google search looked like “What is the name of the female singer that sings Filter with BTS”. … 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
CHAPTER 3: A THREE MONTHS BLINK
Not finding an answer with regards to the mysterious Filter Singer and also concluding that the internet was still so lacking on proper representation of Asian artists, rather than me being the one who was dumb AF, I went continued my supporting X life, while constantly listening to ON, UGH! and Filter. Eventually, it was time to make another X edit, meaning I needed to search for new songs and since X was obsessed with BlackPink I decided to give them a chance and at the time the most recent song was SOUR CANDY feat. Lady Gaga. It was very Gagaish I just so happen to really like Gaga and the beat was perfect for editing, so I used it. On top of that, I joined X's I don't remember how many days countdown to the premiere of “How You Like That”. As I said, X was obsessed with BlackPink, hence, I became a Blink for 3 months.
The day How You Like That dropped I was just as excited as X and at the time I was staying with my directors at their place and they became my "covid bubble". The 3 of us were trying to save our company during COVID inactivity, which meant that during the mornings it was an incessant string of calls with lawyers, with rightfully desperate landlords chasing for money we didn’t have, third parties also needed money we didn't have ... basically, just a whole lot of heavy grinding. But in the evening, we'd cook dinner and we’d all watch a movie once we had quickly gone through the most recent Queer Eye season, even Queer Eye in Japan! and after they’d go to bed, I’d step up, talking with my X Twitter GC, while watching other shows and right before going to bed I'd watch How You Like That to get my spirits ready for the next day.
This was my routine at their house, every day from the release of that song, for a good 2 months. When August rolled around I decided to go back home, as the situation with the company seemed at least a bit stable. So it was back to self-distancing by myself and to my own surprise I didn’t feel the urge to listen to BlackPink at all. X was all that really mattered after all, and they had stopped talking about them, for the time being. So one early ass morning on August 21, 2020 I just so happened to be awake and twitter was buzzing with people waiting for a new BTS song to drop. As I was already awake and had another hour waiting for X to appear at their interview event, I decided to silently wait with ARMY; I did like ON after all. Thus, came Dynamite
CHAPTER 4: LIKE AN ECHO IN THE FOREST
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It was nothing like ON. So at first I was a bit confused and didn't know what to think, as it was clear that I hadn't understood their genre. Yet, somehow, that boy winking at me at the end of the MV kept making me want to replay the song and before I knew it I was “shining through the city with a little funk and so-oul!”. Eventually, I looked him up and found out that the cute boxy smile boy with the light blue outfit’s name was V. Just as easy a name to remember as RM. By all means, he wasn’t RM, but that smile just was the cheekiest thing I had seen in a while.
But there was another person that was also FINALLY "introduced" to me through this video, the one who was my mysterious female voice and "UGH! dancer": JIMIN. Not sure why it didn’t connect with ON but the second I heard his voice in Dynamite DOTS WERE CONNECTING LEFT AND RIGHT, AND IT WAS FINALLY CLEAR IN MY MIND THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY A HE, WHO WAS PRETTIER THAN A SHE AND SANG & DANCED LIKE AN ANGEL 🤯🤯🤯. ... Basically Dynamite introduced me to VMIN.
It goes without saying, my queer-senses were all over the place with Jimin. So, as i usually do, not at all knowledgeable of the South Korean culture, I dove into the internet to ask and see if JM was part of the community: nothing came up. In fact, it was full of people going to a great length to explain why there was NO WAY IN HELL THAT JM WAS QUEER. Funnily enough, as I kept trying to look for connections between JM and the community, all that came up with connections between RM and V and the community (as they had made posts and connected with queer people, music, etc). The strong denying of any sort of connection between JM and Rainbow nation did discourage me a little, NGL. I had spent a year trying to not fall for queerbaiting and I didn’t want it to happen again. However, as I didn’t want to jump the gun since I didn’t quite know them at all, I decided that even though he wasn't a Fred Mercury he perhaps was a Bowie or a Prince. I was okay with that and decided to close that rainbow chapter at that AT THE TIME, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHERE I STAND NOW 🤡.
The weeks following Dynamite things around X’s management start to look very dodgy and fishy. As a fan you want to be positive, hope for the best, but as more and more evidence was brought forth I had to start to at least dissociate X from their company. This really made me and my X-friends incredibly sad and pretty disenchanted I will admit. Day by day we tried to look at the bright side but, it kept looking rather grim and right about that time somehow I was exposed to STAY GOLD and LIFE GOES ON. Thought Stay Gold wss the one in Japanese, the one that stuck with me was Life Goes On. I remember walking around the still empty studio we hadn’t been able to reinstated none of my colleagues with Life Goes On playing rather loudly. The comfort that song provided me in that moment I will never be able to explain. Is probably the same feeling older ARMY have with Spring Day. Life Goes On came to me in a moment when I really needed to hear those words, gently and promising, like an echo in the forest.
As it started to become clearer that X was just as cowardly as their company I took a break from my Twitter page, which also just so happened to fall around Xmas time, so I got to actually have a real break with my sibling away from all that nonsense and into a different more secure looking world.
CHAPTER 5: WHO IS BTS?
I spent a good deal of my xmas break watching people's reaction to BTS, their story, their struggles, their MV. Through these reactors and “BTS experts” I was introduced to SOPE. In my baby ARMY experience they came as a set, Ying&Yang, one the opposite of the other, at least this was how majority of the old BTS edits and explaining videos would portray them luckily we now have many updated and more extensive videos out there. While watching all these compilations I also eventually learned all their names and started watching RUN BTS from episode 1 when I figured out tha utmost of the edits were from there I thought “Let’s go straight to the source, if I want to learn really what they are like”.
The first thing that became pretty clear to me was that for example HOBI and YOONGI weren’t quite exactly like the compilations had been describing them all of them in fact. And it wasn’t like all the boys tried to act reserved or hide certain parts of themselves, they seemed so open that if people paid even just the smallest amount of attention they would know. So for the first time in a long time I found a group that wasn’t giving me doubts, worries … I really didn’t have to think too much but at the same time I knew that if I ever fell back into being depressed from my post-COVIDic environment, they’d also be able to find me down there, because they didn’t seem to shy away from those situations either.
Going back to RUN BTS real quick, the one thing that it did for me, was introducing me to none other than KIM SEOKJIN. Before I knew it I always found myself following jin on the screen, waiting for him to talk and say a pun or dad joke, or just wanted to see and hear him laugh … I developed a crush for Jin and a small pointy edge every time someone would leave comments on youtube like “why is jin even in this band”, “ there is a reason why Jin dances in the back”. “Jin is not even handsome”. GURL/BOI/ENBY. Taking a break from X meant I would stay well away from Twitter, so I had no idea about BTS proper solos, antis, etc and like a moth to a flame, I’d fall for any troll and start defending Jin against the world. MFers … how dare they disrespected him like that! AND IN FRONT OF ME!
That being said a person called me a Jin-solo in a comment and the second that happened I was about to reply that "Yes I love Jin-" the implications of being a solo, COMPLETELY lost on my Baby ARMY ass but the second i started typing I immediately thought of Namjoon, and then Jungkook, and Jimin ... eventually I thought of all members and realised that I liked each member for different reasons and I couldn't choose one. Further research would eventually teach me that meant I was 0T7.
On my way back from my Xmas break I decided that I would stop associating with X and just move on with life. On my journey back home we were told we had to be Lockdown again, which really depressed me, but as if it was second nature, I played Life Goes On and tried to think of any positive thing. So I got back home wanting to watch more BTS reactions, while listening to BTS and wondering what Jin was doing. And from that moment on for a good month I’d go into my still empty office but this time knowing we could start calling back at least 2 of my colleagues, which made me so ecstatic sit down with my coffee and say “Alexa, play BTS” and Alexa would reply “Shuffling songs from BTS” and ALWAYS the playlist would start with a familiar whistle …
And the rest is history 😜.
So who is BTS? They are the 7 boys that came to my rescue when I felt heartbroken. The 7 boys that had so much skill and love to share with the world and wanted for me to join and not be left out. They are the boys that never pressured me into needing to like them, but somehow were always there when I unknowingly needed them. They are the 7 boys who reminded me that it was okay to not be okay and just go with the flow of things, even if it is against the flow of all. They are the 7 boys that keep trusting us with their everything and all they ask in return, if possible, is to be there, at end of this gigantic rainbow. And that is exactly where I plan to be. I am so grateful for all 7 of you and words could never describe how much I love you.
HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY MY RAINBOW AVENGERS.
Always incredible respectfully yours,
Marengo.
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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :)
…This is gonna make a total of 15 but oh BOY
This was mentioned in a previous ask before but singing a whole cover of ‘Rainbow Connection’ I did with friends joining me on the last third of it. It makes it extra special and I want to post it on here, but I’d rather ask the friend who I’d made this for, with posting permissions first.
Honestly? My silly little neopixel lightsaber I’ve (unwisely, in my mother’s opinion) bought at a recent con. It lights up, it makes noises, I can change the blade colour bc of the light, it’s so far everything I’ve wanted in a cheeky laser sword prop.
On a related note, my silly little sword collection! A LARP foam sword, a wooden katana, and even a steel replica of Sting, also from that same con over a few years!
Fashion! Me from 10 years ago being on this hellsite for the first year would never believe it, but growing and defining my own sense of style and aesthetics over time has not only been fun, but I *feel* happier too. I know what I like and what I don’t, and I’m still learning!
The very fact that I was blessed to go to the uni I did. Sure, the culture is different there compared to of course, my old high school and bible college, but I loved what I studied (more rather than less!) and I’m still in touch with people I’m honoured to call friends. To think some of those cool people live near or in the same city as me!
Not to be simple, but, music! I’ve been getting back into some of my favourite songs and remixes from The Living Tombstone as one point, (Long Time Friends you angy catharsis tune), but also listening to playlists I’ve curated for OCs and Stories and even shared songs with me and my friends over on Spotify has been fun!
Travel!!!! I didn’t know how much I’ve missed travel until my Singapore trip earlier this year - I missed boarding planes, taking off and landing, I missed going out to places like malls and cafes and food and friends outside of my own country. I missed the new sights to see and the good vibes to encounter when you look in the right places. And having my first taste of independent sightseeing at the botanical gardens felt like something new was set in stone.
As of recent, RP has been somewhat active between me and a couple buddies on discord. To the Chrumblr RP gang and Star Wars discord RP server: I love you and I'm grateful you allow me to bring plorbo from my brain into Situations with the characters you play!!!
Painting!!! I haven't touched it in a bit since I've been busy with other things, but I adore, ADORE watercolour and gouache painting. It brings me joy to mix colours and use my palettes to bring characters and situations to life, and I even have a whole sketchbook from 2022-2023 dedicated to just paintings. Sketchy paintings, refined ones - the only goal was to PAINT.
The crochet sunflowers I bought last year! I've got a tiny potted one on my study's windowsill with a broken Miles Morales Spidey keychain, and a longer simpler one in a glass bottle in my bedroom. I really wanna get more crochet flowers, but they were from this one random stall that set itself up like, twice overall at uni last year. That being said, I adore them.
From the same con I got my lightsaber on, I got lucky to buy a print poster of A New Hope from Lucasfilms artist Mark Raats direct. I'm not kidding, and we even had a chat and I did a little 'handy-dandy-notebook' portrait of him in line, even getting to airdrop that to him! Best bit, the poster was $30 on INCREDIBLY archival paper. I just need to get a frame for it...
Just recently, I'd gotten a haircut for the dry ends and long, thick fringe; and can I say??? I love my hairdresser? She's a really sweet Japanese lady who came from just outside Osaka and she's out here in my city doing the best and she once cut my fringe to my standards SO quickly than other hairdressers - I was stunned! I'm deeply grateful to have her work on my hair, and I could not thank her enough.
This is a bit silly somewhat to me, but I love the brown messenger bag I'd bought for myself end of last year as a treat to myself for finishing honours. Did the side strap holders snap twice? Yes. Do I care? no. I love this thing, it feels so *right* for adventure and it brings me so much joy.
Something that makes me smile if I glance at it in my study is my shelf of books. Not sketchbooks, not notebooks that have been filled (though I am proud of that too!), just proper books. From comics to 'Tales from the Loop' and cabin architecture and treehouses, and recently a couple Star Wars visual dictionaries from Pablo Hidalgo... I'm gonna need more space soon. (Shoutout to the copy of Farenheit 451 that legit made me scream and kick my feet because BRADBURY.)
Honestly? Just… friends. Online, real life - if I think about you too hard, I’ll cry. I’m blessed to have met friends online In Real Life (looking at you Swift and uni mates!), and blessed to have mailed and wrote and created silly little things to share my love with ‘em. Good are the ones that stick with you. 💙 Get loved, nerds.
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Ending the year with Blind Channel + a bunch of some lovely people, aka not-a-concert-report from the Helsinki ice hall show (29.12.) and Tampere Pakkahuone (30.12.)
(let me know if any of you want your (@)mention removed from this post 🖤)
Not a concert report because y'all know pretty much what happened; this is just my own diary entry about the events 😌
So, Thursday was a bit of a struggle for me personally: there were some surprise changes regarding my train trip to Helsinki that gave me a good ol' spook the first thing I woke up, plus I had a killer headache for most of the day...
...and on top of that I fell! 🙈 We were already inside the venue and on our way to take our spots on the floor. Naturally there were all sorts of electric chords going across the floor, but thankfully they were covered so that people walking normally and minding their step wouldn't stumble all over them 🙏👍👌
Needless to say I wasn't one of them, however 🙃 I wasn't running, I was just walking quite fast, and I totally wasn't watching where I was going, and so I tripped and ended up on the floor and had super minor injuries on my hand and knee (thanks @matelas for the pink bandaid 💗)
My fall wasn't quite as dramatic as Porko's though, gosh what a show-off, can't even fall on his pretty little ass without pyros blowing off 🙄🔥
We weren't super close to the stage, but close enough to see what was happening with our bare eyes, and definitely closer than I dared to imagine in advance! 🤩
The surprise Robin was one of the highlights of the gig, that was truly something straight ouf of fanfiction 😆 I mean, imagine being such good friends with your ex that you ask them to be a special guest in your special show with your new bf's band :')
And the money shooting in the air was a m a z i n g 😂💞💸 sadly I didn't catch one, but @thisisntaparty was terribly kind and gave me one afterwards as a keepsake 🥰 I've put it on the Place of High Honour™ (the fridge door)
(let's not talk about how the setlist was a teeeeeeeeeny tiny disappointment (to me personally at least; I was totally excpecting to hear SLB and many other songs they KNOW are fan favourites 😔), and I feel like the show itself wasn't as special I was expecting it to be 🤔 I mean, of course having Robin fucking Packalén there took us all by surprise etc. but somehow I expected more, especially because the setlist was exactly the same the next day in Tampere (and maybe the cruise show setlist was similar as well?). For example, Dark Side being the ONLY encore song wasn't how I had imagined them to end their biggest headline gig to date)
But, speaking of Tampere, HOLY FUCKING SHIT 😭😭😭😭😭 It was incredible, and not least because we were on 3rd row with a direct view to Olli 😵 @matelas and I competely lost it when he first appeared in front of us, in all his sinful beauty ✨
I had never been this close to Olli's side before, so it was amazing to see his happy face during the songs 😭 You can really see from his whole presence how much he enjoys playing shows, I wanted to ruffle his hair too like Niko did during Glory For The Greedy 🥺
And Aleksi was really enjoying himself as well, it was cool to see him up close too when he came to stand on Olli's platform a few times 🥰 I feel like our eyes met very briefly near the end 💖
Niko did the eeeeeeeeyo thingie, as he always does, and we did the longest eeeeeeeeeeeyo known to mankind back at him, in fact I think you can still hear it echoing inside Pakkahuone! 😌
In both shows (and also in general) my favourite songs to hear live are Don't Fix Me, We Are No Saints, and Balboa; I had so much fun boundcing and partying to those songs 💃 I had made a conscious decision to not film too many videos during either gig, because I truly wanted to take it all in and enjoy the shows to the fullest, but at the same time I wish I had taken just a few more, because watching the videos and sort of getting to re-live the whole thing all over again is so much fun 🖤
Great fun was also had at the very informal, extremely small-scale, and otherwise perfectly wonderful BC tumblr gathering we had after the ice hall show in a bar downton Helsinki, and in the Gathering 2.0 after the Tampere show!! 🥰 You guyyyyyyssssss, both hangouts were filled with laughter and kindness and soft feelings and I was so happy 🥺😭💕
(I DIDN'T CRY, but if I did, it was because @himmelno44 made me!! 😭)
Thanks to BC and their superb energy and songs I probably would have had a great time even if I had gone to the shows all alone, but I gotta tell ya, spending time with such lovely people made it so much better and I had the most fun I've had in a long time 🥺
Special thank yous go to my queuing buddies @ladysorbus and @matelas without whom I would've frozen my ass off and died of boredom while waiting for showtime both days (I'll have you know Envy and I acted so incredibly mature the entire time and totally did not annoy the heck out of @ladysorbus and each other 🥰💞)
Thank you to my BC tumblr meet organizer buddy @sinking-into-mist (the meet was succesful and no one passed out due to anxiety, look at us!! 🎉) and my darling dearest sweetest most loveliest @himmelno44 I miss you so terribly much already and I'm counting the days until we see again, no matter how many there'll be 😭
Thank you to @thisisntaparty (keeping the door open for Stockholm shall we 👀) @mil-peri @madeofbrokenstuff @gingervivilou and @into-the-hell for hanging out, it was so nice meeting you and I'm up for getting together with any of you sweet people any time! <3
And thank you to everyone else I met a little more briefly (but not too briefly to get a hug 🥰), it was great to see you all, mwah mwah mwah 💋
And now the emotional part:
This year's been a bit rough for me personally for various reasons, as there has been a couple of changes that I'm still trying to get used to (+ the always-present feelings of loneliness and inadequacy), but Blind Channel has been this one consistent element in my life this year, something I have been able to escape to when things in my personal life have started hurting too much. Their music and all the content on the side (from the guys themselves as well as fan-made) are one thing, but equally important to me are all the amazing people I have met (in person and online!) and the incredible memories we have made together that have given me endless joy throughout the year 🥺 There have been many, many days when I have felt so incredibly sad and lonely and desperate and the thought of being happy has seemed downright impossible, but during the last two days I have laughed so much and felt such joy that I don't really know how to put it into words 😭 I just want to thank everyone who was part of it, and of course I hope to one day be able to meet Blind Channel in person again too and thank them, for giving me so much more than just the music 🖤
To anyone reading this, thinking I'm crying my eyes out all alone in my apartment, having to continue living my sad, boring life not knowing when I'll see Blind Channel and some of the lovely peeps mentioned above again: I am crying my eyes out, but I want you to know I'm also crying happy tears because of how grateful I am for all these memories, and also that I'm happy to sleep in my own bed tonight and to be eating cauliflower soup and having some fun snacks while watching hockey later, so life's not all bad I guess, even if I have a small wound on my right hand and a bruise the size of Niko's balls on my left knee :')
(last night I was actually so happy that I had forgotten all about the falling as well as the hassle with the train 🥰)
#blind channel#tw flashing#ok to reblog if you don't mind having my emotional rambling on your blog 🙈#not me singing on the video btw#(...i think? 🤣)#happy new year everybody! may there be many BC concerts to attend and fun times to be had in 2023 for all of us <3#my next live gig will be lost society next month 🤘🖤#btw i may have a new year's themed shitpost coming up later tonight (if I get around to making it) 😏🎆#my concert#gig reports by theflyingfeeling
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Favourite Outfits Made For Fics PT.1
Original Post:
https://www.tumblr.com/hoperays-song/726065505478344704/i-know-i-never-have-mentioned-this-except-in-like?source=share
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Ok! So, I made a post awhile back talking about how I have folders of costume design for characters and if anyone wants to see anything in particular to let me know, and someone asked for any outfits that I'm particularly proud of that I've made for my fics!
I've really been looking forward to this so, I'm gonna show off a few of my favourites in terms of pure design here! These were the ones that were the most fun to design in my opinion, aka, Nooshy's interview outfit and Porsha's new casual clothes!
*Reminder that all of my stuff for fics is placed in the human au so the clothes fit into that too*
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Nooshy's Interview Outfit:
So one of my favourite headcanons of Nooshy is that she loves bright colours and contrasting patterns and will dress deliberately very mismatched. This causes her clothes to be pretty memorable a lot of the time, even when she's just wearing borrowed clothes from her brother or friends. However, her interview outfit is a time where I really let this shine.
Ok so:
The main attention draw of Nooshy's outfit is a very shiny silver jacket with fringe that matches silver boots that they wear as well.
As for her shirt, it looks like just a purple button up but is actually iridescent fabric, so it looks more magenta-ish in certain lighting and with movement.
The only seemingly plain things of the outfit are black shorts and a plain black choker but the rest of her accessories are neon green and magenta, including their earrings, bracelets, and they changed her laces to be neon green too.
I really like this one because I think it shows Nooshy's very out there and bold personality as well as being one of the most unique, in terms of style, outfits I've ever made.
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Porsha's New Casual Clothes:
So Porsha's original outfit was very much like her dad's in terms of color scheme and I really wanted to make an outfit that was a bit more colourful like her personality was. I kept a bit of designer clothes in there but I really wanted it to showcase the fact that I headcanon her to be living with Buster and Eddie now, so she's probably not going to be decked head to toe in it anymore.
Ok so:
I am a firm believer in giving these kids jewelry so Porsha is decked out in a gold anklet, chokers, and moon earrings (to honour her connection to Moon Theatre now).
The same is with her sunglasses, I switched the from something very crystal-like to a sun and moon design to show her affiliation with New Moon Theatre.
I wanted to add a jean jacket like she had before but made it much simpler with just a yellow stripe instead of the fancy sleeves of before. The yellow also represents cheerfulness and I wanted to keep that running as a good descriptor of Porsha's character.
The jeans are just plain white because of the tons of detail elsewhere on the outfit, like the desert on the shirt representing Redshore and the stars on her shoes alluding to her role in Out Of This World.
I like this version of Porsha's outfit as it's a lot more colourful yet still more toned down than her original. I think this would be a good way of showing her leaving a life of luxury and showing the importance the show and troupe have come to have for her.
#sing 2#sing porsha#sing nooshy#im not great at writing these two but i love designing for them#they are a lot more accessories driven than the characters that wear introduced in sing 1 when it comes to design#i also really love ryan and johnny's formal clothes so i might make another post talking about them#or how i changed the costumes to suit the new show better#let these kids wear jewelry damn it#fic stuff#please ignore spelling errors im very tired#porsha crystal
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𝟤𝟢𝟢 𝐹𝒪𝐿𝐿𝒪𝒲𝐸𝑅𝒮 𝒮𝐿𝐸𝐸𝒫𝒪𝒱𝐸𝑅
TWO HUNDRED MF FOLLOWERS?!! I FEEL ABSOLUTELY INSANE RN!!!
I'm not sure what to feel. Flattered? Absolutely. Honoured? Definitely.
But I admit I’m also a bit confused; must’ve been doing something right if I’ve reached this milestone, huh?
No, but seriously, I want to say thank you to everyone. Words aren't sufficient to express how I feel right now, but without you all, I never would have gotten this far. For that, once again, I sincerely thank all 200 of you.
to celebrate, I've decided to do a little sleepover with you guys! This sleepover will start now and end on the 3rd Oct GMT+8.
all posts related to this event will be tagged as #nixie hits 200!
since you guys seemed to enjoy the games last time, i've decided to bring some of them them back, along with a couple of new ones!!!
(older games)
💕 shipping game: send me a description of yourself/a fun fact + a fandom (BTS or TXT only. No stray kids because i dont know the members very well yet) and i’ll ship you with a member! (anon is allowed)
🕹️ games: any of your typical tumblr sleepover games! (fmk, would you rather, top 5___, cym or anything else you can think of!) (anon is allowed)
🔖 recommendations (from you) : send me any recommendations you have for tv shows, movies, books, songs, tumblr blogs, etc! (anon is allowed)
📑 recommendations (from me): i'll recommend you tv shows, movies, books, songs, tumblr blogs, etc! (you can tell me what you want a recommendation for or i'll just choose a category for you) (off anon please)
📢 shout outs: recommend some of your own fics or just some fics you love so we can show appreciation for all these amazing writers here on tumblr! (anon is allowed)
❤ first love: share some crush/love stories with me! (anon is allowed)
(new games!!)
🖼 moodboard: send me a bts/txt member and a word/prompt from this list and ill make you a moodboard or a small edit (ill accept prompts that are not mentioned in the list that i have made but i might not make something if i cant find inspiration for it)
🎨 colour/emoji association: send me a colour/emoji and i’ll tell you which BTS/TXT member i associate with it and why
🎧 music association: send me a song you associate with me and i’ll give you a random song off my ‘on repeat’ playlist
Below this, I’m just going to tag some of my friends here on tumblr who have made my time here super super fun and memorable! I am truly grateful and appreciative to all of you!
@jjkeverlast @istanfluffycontent @yourlocaltimetraveler @urmiibby @namkook @hawtymin @sugarwithtea @hobipost @kookiecrumb @parkdatjimin @bebejungkook @smasmashie @thetaeprint @xpeachesncream @liyacreate @kaitioo @glamrocklevi @angeladore @just-another-fangirl-69 @buckyinluv @henry-and-the-seven-lords@poetic-dumbass @obeythebutler @adoveamongdemons @this-bitch-needs-therapy @incorrectlyavenged @youlightmeupfinn @somniprobe
@tea-is-vibing @eternallydaydreaming2015 @mochakat @internetoverdose01 @satandrankmy-coffee @gunpowdermilkshake-main @gimmethatagustd @kimtaesss @bangtanintotheroom @underratedbitch-number13 @pjiminbloomx @yoongukie-ff @skyfull0fstories @sunshinerainbowsbts @still-with-koo @chryblossomjjk @7deadlysinsfics @mercurygguk @daechwitatamic @sahmfanficbts @usertae @haliiimede @joondiary @mxckiemxn @suryanwesha@ffion451@meirkive
@shina913@taegisms@here2bbtstrash@allorareverz@btsgotjams27@sugarwithtea-reads @koostarcandy @here4btsfics @kookieswan @taleasnewastime @armys-dna @winterseoul @lesbianslovejhope @sopekooks @pjmsdior @blog-name-idk @jkshandsomegirlfriend @lustfulpjm @vminsos @jeonspub @hobateas @fluffyydumplings @20smthn @kimchokejin @ambivartence @wrote-my-own-deliverance
to the rest of my followers: i really suck at words but i wanna say that i appreciate all of you so so much!! i see you and recognize you in my notifs and i love you al!! 💖💕
#nixie speaks#200 followers milestone!#nixie hits 200!#i literally cant believe this#like my first milestone was only in july and now its sept#i am shook#thank you sm u guys
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Words and Words, What are Words?
Here we go again, with another humonguous post courtesy of a double tag by @tsunderewatermelon and @alpaca-clouds ! I had a hard time finding some of these, to be sure, so good job with the selection xD
The challenge: Go through my works to find a certain word and post the excerpt. Since there are so many, I have tried to keep it short :D
My words: land, pushed, snort, flex, muscle + edge, scar, surface, glitter, depth
Next round: epic, power, fruit, chain, brilliant
Let’s tag... @alpaca-clouds, @tsunderewatermelon, want to go again? Also, @mikaharuka, just to add some pressure :P and @axolotlsupremacyowo too, I want some Franmaya!
The excerpts:
LAND — From Life is a Flower (and love is the honey)
What follows is a long, somewhat rambling explanation filled with too many details, but he gets the gist of it: No, he grew up in a place called Eengland, but that’s still a lot closer, relatively speaking, than California. Also, California was originally separated from the Old World (which is actually called Yurop, after a goddess who was a cow) and anyway the people there rebelled over soaked tea leaves, so there’s a bigger rivalry with them than with Vienna, except in matters dealing with a union (the tea leaves’ farmers union, perhaps?).
PUSHED — From Cry for the Innocent
She claws at Vander's arms until her fingernails hurt, screams until her throat gives out and it isn't enough and it only hurts worse because Vi is supposed to make things better but she's dead and Powder needs her here, they're sisters, Vi isn't supposed to just leave her.
At one point, Benzo comes in, and tries to get them to move. The smell of freshly cooked food drifts from the adjacent room, and it makes her want to heave. She pushes him away and flees, wedging herself into a corner.
SNORT — From Molly Holmes and the Case of the Missed Present
Zelmen's eyebrow ridges rose, and a wicked gleam entered his eyes. "Why, you are most welcome, gracious Viscount. Certainly, it is a tremendous honour to have the gratitude of a esteemed peer of the Realm, particularly one as exquisitely discerning as yourself, my good man!"
Lupin snorted so hard that he began coughing and had to lean against a table to keep his balance. Sandiego pounded on his back, though she was also sporting a delighted smile
FLEX — From The Art of Music Composition
Zagreus darts a quick look at his father’s throne. He scrunches up his face in a mixture of distaste and fear. Then he looks down and mumbles, so low the adults almost can’t hear him, “I guess having Nyx in my song would be okay.”
Orpheus catches Achilles flexing his free hand and sees his eyes flash, but the warrior swiftly brings his anger back under control. As everything stands, both of them are powerless to speak out against the injustices deities inflict on their kin.
MUSCLE — From Life is a Rollercoaster; or Tao Xu’s Fight Against the Big Butterfly of Chaos
Three weeks into the new term and Tao had been right to dread his fate. He was miserable. His ankles hurt constantly. His tailbone hurt. He could barely climb the stairs to his room, because apparently abdominal muscles were used for everything. Yesterday he had to listen to Harry Greene talk for twenty minutes before he could escape.
EDGE — From The Silent Vigil of Gloria Brante
The truth was that Benedict had always been too observant. Too careful. Too canny.
Truly, it was that understated certainty of the future that made the barrier setting him apart from everyone else. There had always been something about him that set her instincts on edge. Something that wasn't magic but wasn't fully mundane either. Whether it was the Twins' Will, she dared not consider; what she knew was that sometimes it scared her.
SCAR — From Living with the Consequences
Alucard lifted his hand to the scar on his chest, still red and raw even after a year of healing. Most of the time, he could almost forget it was there. Other times it would itch until the contact of fabric on skin became maddening. Occasionally he would lift his arm or try to turn too fast and the tissue would pull and constrict so that he had to stop the movement just a little sooner than he had had to, before his mother's death and all that had followed.
SURFACE — From Seeds of Change
Caitlyn Kiramman ran for her life.
She rounded a corner at full speed, and nearly lost her balance when she stepped on something soft and wet on the floor. Her shoulder painfully collided with the brick wall. She cried out but ignored the pain, using the solid surface to push herself forward. She could still hear the shouts of her pursuers. She couldn't let them catch her.
GLITTER — From Let Out your Inner Freak
Elle Woods was infuriating. Just thinking about the blonde made Vivian's blood boil. How could one person be that self-obsessed? Not bringing any notes to class, not doing the assigned reading, not to mention the platinum highlights and obscene amount of pink. She had a glitter pen, for goodness' sake. Couldn't she see how hard she was making things for every other woman in their year?
DEPTH — From Once More, Unto the Breach
What Achilles never seems to realize is that when he looks up at Patroclus as he's doing now, when the sheer depth of his feelings shines through his beautiful blue eyes, the universe dissolves around them. Patroclus gets drunk on the intensity of his love and he feels, for a moment, like nothing can hurt him as long as Achilles stays by his side.
#tag game#AO3 fic#multifandom#couldn't resist the title#but I'll be surprised if someone gets the reference xD
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Books of 2022 - Favourite Books of the Year
I tried so hard to come up with a top 5, but I only have 3 books I truly LOVED this year. It was, in short, a mediocre reading year (more on this to come when I process my reading breakdown in the next day or so.) Anyway, here are the books:
3. A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
I usually exclude rereads from this list but I didn't have enough choice this time. However, I haven't read A Game of Thrones since 2014! It's been a long time and I'd forgotten a lot of the details. I've rekindled my love for A Song of Ica and Fire/Westeros this year and this book was a large part of this love coming back. Honestly, it's just so good and I'm so happy I've gotten over the post-series 8 blues around Westeros.
2. The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien
Okay, yes this book SHOULD be at number 1, it is my favourite book after all! But I did really want to give something else the highlight because it's a given that I loved this book. Tolkien's history of the First Age is everything I look for in my fantasy, and nothing has ever come close to beating it (not even Lord of the Rings itself!) It's full of drama, wonder, beautiful prose, and a world full of legends. I still haven't found the words to summarise how this makes me feel 10 years after first reading it. It truly is one of a kind.
1. Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay
To be honest, you should just read my review of Tigana if you want to know how I felt about this book. It has haunted me all year, I haven't read anything as good since then - there is a noticeable change in how I'm thinking about and reviewing books after Tigana. I rarely read fantasy standalones but this book has proven that fantasy can, and sometimes should be, written this way. I was particularly captivated by Dianora and Brandin's plotline, the tragedy of it just will not let me go... I keep thinking about how well Kay wrote both them as individuals and their relationship. Honestly, if you read one thing off this list (and it's full of big names) then read Tigana.
Honourable Mentions:
I enjoyed all of these a lot but they didn't quite reach the same heights for me as the top 3 which were all in another tier (except maybe Emma but we all know how I feel about Emma by now...!)
The Curse of the Mistwraith by Janny Wurts - this book was so good and I thought Wars of Light and Shadow was going to be my new favourite epic fantasy. However, Wurts has lost me a bit with later entries into the series and that has coloured my view of Mistwraith since then. I'm still upset about it...
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms by George R.R. Martin - the book that started my rediscovery of how good Martin is! If I did a top 5 this would have been in it but I didn't want to repeat authors and I like A Game of Thrones more.
Emma by Jane Austen - this has featured on my top 5 every year since I first read it... It's still my favourite classic, I just wanted to switch things up
Lord of Emperors by Guy Gavriel Kay - this book was AMAZING, just not quite as good as Tigana. Technically I think it was better written, but I didn't have the same emotional connection to it
Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott - I simply haven't sat on this one long enough to know if it's a favourite of the year or merely an excellent book. This is the problem with December reading, still an excellent regency historical fiction set in medieval England. I had a blast with it!
#books of 2022#top 3 books#best books of the year#the silmarillion#j.r.r. tolkien#a game of thrones#george r.r. martin#tigana#guy gavriel kay#bookblr#did not proofread
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BPP, I've been following you for some years now. On your old blog before the Ricin incident happened and now on your new blog here. I'm lurker who appreciates the context and history you provide about fandom behavior and how BTS fits within kpop. Though I'm a Stay and multi, your arguments about kpop fans reactions to BTS and Armys counter reactions to kpop fans and the industry always looked reasonable /consistent to me.
But to make sure I don't stay in an echo chamber, I follow other bloggers with opposing views. There are some bloggers who are very critical of Army, BTS, Hybe, and especially RM/Namjoon, constantly complaining about the music and the fandom, so it is obvious their bias plays a role in their analysis and discourse. Which is another thing I remember you saying about what makes up 'discourse' in kpop. Some of those bloggers like Jimin so I was wondering if they would give his song more charitable reviews or rely on the same tropes they've been saying about BTS members and Army for years. Since Jimin's SMFP2, they have not just given it a charitable view, they've thrown out all the tropes they used for BTS and Army. And while I expected that reaction since their bias is so evident, I was still surprised. Their analysis of his work compared to other BTS members is like night and day. I wouldn't mind if they like Jimin only and just spent more time talking about him bc of that, but those bloggers set themselves up as analysts of kpop and BTS in general. It felt frustrating for me to see that though that is a behavior you predicted. I'm just shocked at how little high quality comprehensive critics there are in kpop, and it makes me appreciate your content more though I don't always agree with you.
In your Ricin incident post you said you'll be leaving Tumblr soon. I sent you an ask last December asking you to stay but you never posted it. I wonder if you're still considering leaving, or if you have changed your mind. Another request: can you pls add your BTS member profiling posts to your masterlist? You wrote one about why Hobi has less bias in the Army fandom months ago. I found it so interesting but I've not been able to find it since.
***
Hi Anon,
Can you send another ask or DM to remind me exactly which Hobi post you're talking about so I can link it for you? I try to keep my Masterlist as clutter-free as possible, sticking only to the long-form 'discoursey' posts so they don't get lost in the noise. And because many of those posts are from old BPP, posts that pissed off people enough to want to physically harm me, so they get the place of honour, front and center on new BPP. I'll consider adding more member-focused posts to the Masterlist though.
What I actually said in the 'Ricin post', is
"...I plan to keep this blog as a sort of archive... I have less time to spend on Tumblr, and so it might take me longer to respond to your asks and I generally won’t be as active on here. Over time, this blog will become dormant."
*
That was in July 2022. And I think in the time since then, my followers have experienced that my posting pattern is irregular already, with long stretches of time in between. This blog will eventually fall into more irregular use, i.e. become dormant, because that's just how the cookie crumbles folks. BPP is a blog that happened by accident and since getting a double promotion at work recently, as much as I enjoy interacting with many people here and being active constantly, it's just not a viable option for me. I'll be here until I'm not. That's really all I can say.
In the meantime, I'd like to direct you to some bloggers who have been doing this for a lot longer, and/or are still active, and/or who have fun or interesting things to share from time to time [**]:
@jung-koook, @stormblessed95, @onthecuterside, @kimsaena88, @wingzie
...and if you've been lurking on my blog for years as you say, you've probably noticed the regulars in the replies who usually leave really interesting tidbits, so there's another list for you there too.
Aside, I'm not saying this to be modest, but I'm not certain I appreciate the tone in your ask about my blog relative to other bloggers. We can all tell when someone does not critically examine their bias of a group or fandom in discourse, but that's also the norm in k-pop. Why penalize them for acting exactly like most other people in this space since there's clearly a desire among k-pop fans for that sort of space? I write what I write to educate on all the sorts of players in this system and why the system runs the way it does. If you're going to criticize certain bloggers for acting as they've always done in this system but not the system itself, then what's the point? All you're doing is nullifying that energy and we're all back at square one, and there is no net positive. You know what I mean? If you used the same tone in the ask you sent last December, that's probably a reason I didn't post it. Just FYI.
Set Me Free Pt 2 is a legitimate masterpiece. It's good enough to turn anyone into a fan, so some bloggers reacting favourably to it feels like a given to me, whether or not they bias him. Jimin on even the best days, is the most polarizing figure in BTS, and probably in all of k-pop. The direction he went for in Set Me Free Pt 2 is very on brand for him, because it's unexpected and because of what led up to it. In all the ~10 years I've been following Jimin, SMF Pt 2 is what solidified my idea of who Jimin is in my head. He has produced one of the most forward-thinking music in the industry (sonically) this year and it's only March. You said you're a Stay and multi so I'm curious, have you streamed Set Me Free Pt 2 today?
[**] Edit: For any of my new followers and just in case Anon you’re not aware, my blog is firmly Jikook-affirming. What I mean is I like Jimin, I like Jungkook, I love watching them interact and I think they have a beautiful relationship. Many of the blogs I follow and that I tagged above also speak favourably about Jikook, as individual members and as a pairing in BTS. I recognize that some people prefer jikook-biased bloggers, others don’t care for it, and others are indifferent, so here’s a clarifying note for anyone to tailor their followings accordingly.
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