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pagesofkenna · 2 years

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there's a post in the tag about someone wishing to see more Omar in D20 and I agree, but it also reminded me about how a year ago a few RPG streamers I like started Power Play, and I never ended up watching it, and I just recently learned that Omar was in that and I could have seen what an awesome player he was long ago if I just had watched it

and then I got to thinking about how many cool actual plays are out there that don't have the budget that Dimension 20 or Critical Role have, but tell really cool stories with really good players regardless! And a lot of these players deserve recognition, but there's so little space to showcase new players for audiences who only watch D20 or CR

so anyway I compiled a list of every single actual play Omar has been in (at least, those I could find VODs for)

Power Play: actual play of Icons, a silver-age inspired superheroes rpg, hosted by QueueTimes! It's played remotely, about 59 episodes long, and includes several one-shots where (I think?) they play some other game systems as well

The Borros Saga: Banesbreak: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by PixelCircus! Played in person, about 12 episodes long, with some one-shot vignettes. Aabria is also a player here!

Monsters and Fables: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by the official D&D channel! Played in person, 6 episodes long

Buffy the Vampire Slayer RPG: actual play of Dungeons and Dragons, hosted by Hyper RPG! Played in person, about 9 episodes long, and half the time Omar is DMing!

Balboa Cantrip Academy: actual play of Kids on Brooms, a rules-lite magical school rpg, hosted by Hyper RPG! Played remotely, and only 3 episodes long (Episode 2, Episode 3, on Twitch)

Pugmire: Homeword Bound: actual play of Pugmire, a simplified D20 with dogs, hosted by Saving Throw! Played in-person, only 3 episodes long

The Last VHS Store: a 3-episode series hosted by Saving Throw, where Omar GMs a lite D20 system he designed himself! All in-person

Carrier Penguins: a series of 4 one-shots hosted by Saving Throw, playing Lasers and Feelings, an easily hackable lite system. Ep1, Ep2, Ep3, Ep4, all in-person

Oneshots specifically:

Aces in Space charity stream with QueueTimes, playing Blue Shift - remote

The Golden Girls charity stream with PixelCircus, playing Lewd Grannies - remote

The Gauntlet s2e2 with Hyper RPG, playing Pathfinder (Omar later GMs the 8-episode s4) - in-person

Spy Island ep1 with Hyper RPG, playing ?? (an ad-hoc mafia/werewolf rpg) - remote

(And here's just a truncated list of his Saving Throw oneshots, bc there's a lot: Scooby-Doo rpg playing Wildlings, Lasers and Feelings with the Doubleclicks, House of 100 Nightmares GMing Dread, John Wick charity stream playing Lasers and Feelings)

Game the Game (board games instead of tabletops RPGs) with Geek and Sundry, playing Pitchstorm, Aftermath, and Scott Pilgrim - in-person

He was also a campaign guest player in Failed Save c2e3 (D&D, PixelCircus), Damsels, Dice, & Everything Nice s3e2 (D&D, PixelCircus), and Ironkeep Chronicles ep21 (D&D, Saving Throw)

#omar najam #dimension 20 #acofaf #phew this took........ a lot of work...#i wish there was a system already in place to see which players have been in which games #but unless the actors list their actual play work all on their portfolio website there really isnt a system #i compiled this partially to be like 'hey you want more omar?? you DONT need to rely on D20 for that!'#even tho I agree the production quality of D20 is so high that those actual plays can be more fun to watch than the smaller groups #and partially to be like 'hey look at these other game streaming groups that have good work they're putting out you should watch!'#and partially literally also to be like '...YO look at all these other games that exist???'#im still loling at acofaf using the D&D system at all. it does NOTHING for this setting except be familiar to their audience #Saving Throw uses Lasers and Feelings a LOT because its such a light bulk-less system you can do ANYTHING on top of #with virtually zero prep #acofaf needed an oracle system more than a combat system - which is what D&D is #and the oracle system in D&D is helpful but theres SO much bulk with the combat mechanics for a production that doesnt need it!#anyway if you like horror Omar GMs a game of Dread and I don't like horror but I still Need to see that

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jackklinemybeloved · 1 year

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went into this episode excited to see ylfa and the beast interact and crossing my fingers for a good elody and gerard union and came out with an existential crisis about these young nihilistic women running themselves into the ground and destroying everything because they don’t know what else to do

#part of their argument is interesting but like.#i dont think theyve had that many more 'times' than the rest of the cast?#like the vibe ive gotten is that like. cinderella and snow white have been to more but not like. a ton. like not a ton of sets of memories #like 5/6 TOPS #and they're like 'oh no theres no way to make this better and if i still exist that means my stories where i dont have free will still live'#WHAT #idk.#i find them very interesting but.#it's very weird ya know #like at this point theres no real difference between them and the stepmother #other than maybe their motivation #like obviously things have to come to an end but like. that's what the wolf is for #the way he talks i think it's clear that ALL of the worlds wont last FOREVER #and everyone has said the worlds arent limitless #like once you die you cant go back to that story #idk i still have to process this episode. a lot happened #i have a lot of thoughts about the princesses but #it was really cool and funny to see rosamund do a full fucking 180 with 'D FUCKING W'#anyway. what an ep.#neverafter #dimension 20 #neverafter spoilers

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willgrahamsbecoming · 7 months

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wren chicken post got me thinking about how i cant comprehend birds . chickig.....those are real and you can just . have one. its an animal.a real creature. it eists. tgis football feathered beast with lizard legs. and they will just make funny noises and manifest an egg regularly. who authorised this

#i cant think about birds too hard because i go insane every time #this isnt even a joke i straight up ??????? at the existence of birds #if dinosaurs were still alive i think i'd have exploded by now #Dr. Chilton's Hard Drive (D:)#this goes on the main blog so you cna all think about birds with me

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sysig · 2 months

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Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #Mixed set! :D Lots of singular doodles - one-offs or ones that apply to a few different scenes #The kiss is random tho <3 I still haven't gotten to ZEX showing off his uniform to Zelnick! I want them to!!#Him seeing his Captain in his uniform was so lovely tho <3 I love Big Love and that was so <3 Hehe #Smooch ♥#ZEX does not eat enough ;; He eats like a bird and it's highly distressing #I actually wrote in my notes that I was surprised he wasn't hurting In The Same entry as when he was experiencing hunger pangs haha #It doesn't help that he tends to talk through meals rather than eat - he's so much more interested in making connections with humans!#As far as metaphors go - killing himself for the sake of trying to bridge that gap - I mean it's apt but ZEX please #I think it was while he was talking to Wally at one point that he framed the War in a very flippant light-hearted way which was funny to me #I don't think that's the descriptor most people would use haha #Swearing <3 <3 VUX terminology <3 <3 #I want a VUX glossary of terms so badly hehe I've been slowly compiling a few here and there :3 Direct translation! The dream ♫#Him getting stressed enough to swear is very endearing haha ♪ What do you mean I'm endeared by everything he does don't be silly #The next one of me deeply enjoying when he's creepy is not proof of anything! Just because I Happen to also like that!!#I do really love when he's creepy tho agh <3 <3 The mental image of him as The Hunter - casually cornering and capturing his prey <3 #In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!!#I love how huffy he gets as well haha ''All these humans interrupting my seduction attempts >O( ...Wait O|'' lol #And finally an exchange on the board between him and Scarecrow haha so many fun faces around!!#I love him being completely baffled by a non-mechanical construct it just short-circuits his brain haha ♥#He's so intelligent but there exists things unknowable!#The image of him tapping his pen is so Incredibly cute ah <3 Where did he learn such a thing! Does it translate from his VUX form to this ♪#Anything everything ♥ Learned or known! It's wonderful

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instinctsxbad · 8 months

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*scratching at the walls thinking about how no one has adapted Peter’s college arcs in a consistent and satisfying way.*

#coffee bean gang #spider-man #I was almost asleep but now I’m thinking about how there isn’t one piece of media out there that checks all the boxes #of adapting Peter in college + the coffee bean gang + doesn’t downsize the group or combine characters #+ does everyone in a decent way even if it’s not strictly comic accurate #raimi trilogy is one of the only ones that heads pretty quickly into the college era and also involves more than just gwen or mj #and as much as I like the films it does not handle the three of them in a way that scratches the itch for me #I mean for one it’s only Peter Harry and MJ. I like those three arguably the most but man the dynamic isn’t the same #especially bc Tobey’s Peter is much more serious and quiet/awkward with negative charisma (affectionately but still.)#MJ is mixed w Gwen’s personality which was disappointing to me bc I like MJ’s weird and super vibrant personality #and Harry loses some of the ‘kind of a sweet guy but very VERY fucked up’ and relies too heavily on Harry becoming the goblin for revenge #I sound super critical of the Raimi versions qhwjrjwkr I DO like them I do but it feels like completely alternate interps of the characters #most focus on spider-man’s origin which I totally get but also. Peter’s most interesting arcs happen in college #that’s why everyone has to adapt them into the high school years #(which they can do bc Peter was largely friendless during that time and was still fighting some truly d-tier guys #in between the forming of the famous spidey rogue gallery)#I mean I wouldn’t even complain if they chose to do the high school years and actually DID those instead of pasting the college arcs on it #I haven’t watch the 90s show but I want to— does Harry exist in that one bc I know they took out Gwen #at the risk of sounding like That kind of tssm fan. the closest we got to that dream was that show #bc they WERE gonna follow it into Peter’s college years and you could see them setting the gang up #it still fell into the ‘everyone is a childhood friend’ thing so the characters could all be there but it’s one of the most bearable ones

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bonetrousledbones · 1 month

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yknow guys i have to confess something. aside from the story-relevent details i have fully been making up a Lot of the worldbuilding for ebony's au on the spot this entire time. so aside from the characters themselves the au's basic characteristics are now

underfell-like aesthetics but still very undertale in Mood (more underfell in other aspects that i actually cannot elaborate on lmao)

slightly duller color pallette and also a bit cooler/more Purple

some things are just a liiiitttle Off, including character designs but Especially the names. because i think its funny <3

(NEW!) everyone's design looks sick as fuck. just because

#trousled rambles #atbb #ebony #YOU DONT HAVE TO FLESH OUT AN AU AHEAD OF TIME IF YOU CAN JUST IMPROV IT INTO SOMETHING THAT EXISTS!!!#if i was a coward i could have chosen to ink sans him or something but that is against all of my principles this far into the au business #the only one it would make sense to have a single-character-au for would be gaster anyway #but anyway. god if i dont get to ramble like a madman about everything i've come up with for this event when its all done i might go mad :D #and for the record there are still a lotta things i Did think of ahead of time. so so so so so many things #but the stuff with undyne and alphys are. shamefully new #OH. WAIT #I CAN ACTUALLY START USING THE AU TAG NOW CANT I..................#i mean technically i could have before but i've been on the fence about it for Literally Years. but now i can make it REAL #FAUXFELL #<-- WAOHH #ahem anyway. am i fulfilling my new years resolution to get more cringe and annoying im trying my best #now to go retag everything. wqahoo

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nebulouscoffee · 6 months

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Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to)#I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things)#(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe)#anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically?#does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now?#does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day?#does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more?#idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually...#(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao)#cw death

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nostalgia-tblr · 1 year

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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.

MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).

Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)

Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.

Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????

*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!

#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc #let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all #torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out #a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he #if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”)#mcu tag i guess #and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was #like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while #reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters #nick fury's a goth right?

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quaranmine · 1 year

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it is genuinely amazing to me that after YEARS of it being a common thing that there are people who quite literally refuse to comprehend the existence of roleplay, characters, and storylines in mcyt. some of whom who will even argue that you're the one incorrect about this.

#wild.#my guy if you can comprehend d&d then you can comprehend mcrp #like it's so mind boggling to me that in the three years i have been in the fandom that we still constantly have to argue in favor of this #but also that mcrp has existed since the game came out. over a decade!#and there's just. so many prople who seem like they cannot wrap their head around the concept of roleplay At All #in fandom spaces. on tumblr. roleplay should not be THIS foreign of a concept 😭😭😭#this is slightly a vaguepost to that techno - critical role ace poll going around #and how some people in the notes a) cannot comprehend characters and b) are arguing even after it has been explained to them

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pillowenvelopchair · 7 months

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Hey guys!! this is just my insane ramble on Still Waters Run Deep that's made by the lovely @un-local. I've had so so sooooo many thoughts about this fic and I decided to try and put it all coherently in a post :)

Probably not a lot of new insights, just many, many rambles

Magdalene analysis and her view on Rogier + some other stuff

Magdalene, at the start of the story, is aimless and refuses to follow any line of Grace, putting off whatever it leads to and going in the opposite direction. Yet Grace is fickle, and it all eventually converges, so she gives in. (aaaand a life-changing partnership ensues)

She wants out of the competition of becoming Elden Lord, and she wants nothing to do with it. Someone else to take lordship is what she wants. Magdalene, in her eyes, is not worthy to take the throne. But Rogier on the other hand…

Rogier is, quite literally, built different. He thinks differently compared to Magdalene (a STR vs INT user difference lol). He’s able to pick out all the details that she would miss. Be able to extrapolate and examine it all and be able to learn from it. Magdalene can't do that.

It's basically:

Rogier: says some fun facts about the most random thing in the room, saying all the history behind it, and what the tiny details could mean Magdalene: yeah, that's a rock.

So instead, she becomes a tool for Rogier to be able to use, because that's the least she can do for him.

“She can already feel the faint grin forming on her lips at the thought. She never wanted to be Elden Lord. She’d finally picked up and followed grace to... to get away, with no idea what it called her to do. When Melina told her where it led her, she felt only dread. But Rogier... To save Those Who Live in Death... Two birds, one stone. She meets his eyes, and doesn’t look away. In them, she doesn’t see pride, or avarice. She doesn't see a man who wants to rule the world. Not at all. The path forward is clear now.” -Chapter 22

For once, she really sees a light from the dark future she sees. She's hopeful that she won't have to take the throne, that Rogier can burden it instead of her. He's worthy in her eyes and because of that, she devotes herself to him with all she can do. (Ah but… I believe Rogier wants her to be Elden Lord? Not sure but her not wanting to be Elden Lord doesn’t quite fit with what he has planned)

Magdalene really holds onto Rogier, and his guidance (a comfort wizard, if you will). And so the idea that he won’t make it… that she’ll be left alone with Grace again, forced to join back into the competition for lordship... It's sickening to her. So she really clings to him, desperate to not be left alone with a destiny that she despises.

Magdalene is always pulled into different directions. Grace pulls her to one but she pulls herself to the opposite one. Fia and D are both on extreme sides of the spectrum on Rogier's survival, and Magdalene is caught right in the middle of it.

But for her, Rogier will survive, he has to survive otherwise... that light, that small hope she has will all fade into obscurity.

Ghosts from the past (Lorens and Ida)

I absolutely love how something, or rather, someone haunts both of them.

Lorens had been the catalyst of all of what Rogier does now. Why he’s so desperate to save those who live in death. He's literally devoted his body and mind to Lorens just to see him alive (maybe Rogier's devoting all of himself to finding a solution to death because he wants it to come back to the old times when it was just him and Lorens in the Rise, or maybe not!! I'm just rambling lol).

Every thought of Lorens is painted with a sort of bittersweetness to it. From Rogier's perspective, at the very least (I'm super curious as to how Lorens would view Rogier but we'll probably never get it because... you know...). He's almost obsessed with him, and it's all pretty unhealthy lol.

Magdalene, who’s haunted by Ida who's probably a sort of lover that hadn't been fully brought to fruition. Different opinions on what they have had made Magdalene leave with (from what I have seen at least, we have scrapes of her, people! I can't wait to see more of Ida though)

Now with Ida... Magdalene absolutely shakes herself out of every thought she has about Ida. Spurning every single thought or imagination she has of that woman.

"Nausea comes in waves. Fever. She can feel delirium taking her—she’s convinced she’s submerged in the very waters of creation, for a while. She vividly feels herself sinking deeper and deeper into a current; cold and dark and inescapable. As it pulls her down, she’s overcome with the instinct to breathe it in— Against her temple she feels a hand, with gentle fingers dragging softly through her hair. Suddenly, every layer of the dream collapses in on itself, and she jolts awake with a gasp. Here, in Liurnia, she hauls herself up, rubbing at her face. Even the memory is a shock of cold water to her. She’s a woman haunted." -Chapter 23

(I just really love this part- I can't help it)

I think it's also really interesting how Magdalene leaves Ida due to their differences in what they have (?) while Rogier just absolutely hangs onto Lorens no matter what, despite him being... er... him. Not so sure about his personality with the small flashbacks we get of him but he’s probably not good for Rogier.

In short, Rogier venerates Lorens, while Magdalene absolutely rejects Ida. (Opposites!)

Rogier’s overthinking

Also found it interesting that when Rogier thinks he really thinks. He's a professional overthinker, even in the past

"He thinks of the labyrinthian etiquette, the way he’d triple-check every sentence for a double meaning. The secrets, the ruthless political schemes. It all felt like a spider’s web to him. He’d learned the game, and he played it well, but it had been nothing but paranoia and misery for him. Just like it was for everyone else." -Chapter 17

It's what's kept him alive (Ch. 17), and what's been able to pave the way for his findings Yet, it’s also his curse. He tries to pick out every detail that he can and think of every possible reason or motivation. Every single outcome he just needs to know so that he won't get caught by surprise again. He needs to be in control of the situation, he needs to be the master of the chessboard.

Oh and once this guy spirals, he really spirals. He starts thinking and looking at details, rewinding every single thing, every interaction, and trying to label a reason for every little thing. Yet... something emotional seems to break the surface of the water.

I personally think that he was raised to overthink. He was a noble after all, and he dealt with politics. He truly needed to check, double check, triple check, every single sentence and word in case it would have a double meaning. "He’d learned the game, and he played it well" (Ch. 17) . Getting worse after Lorens' death, being fooled by "Only a cut." (Ch. 25) and seeing the aftermath of it.

He can't not do it because if he doesn't, and he gets surprised it would break him (or at the very least, freak him out).

ALSO!! Rogier hating on "saccharine conversations" (Ch. 17) good lord. This guy cannot be real with anyone. Rogier refuses to show vulnerability because:

1. He was raised like that (the whole attachment theory thing) 2. He will absolutely break if he does

Do you guys remember when Fia tells Magdalene that "dear Rogier began to weep as he spoke" (Ch.14)? Fia saw through Rogier's walls through the cracks and he just absolutely breaks down. (Get yourself a man who, after "embracing" tells you all about this thing he's obsessed about and then cries because of it)

It's a mortifying ordeal, that someone's able to see through the walls you've meticulously put up. It hits something deep within that he’s tried to bury.

Despite the walls he puts up people other than Fia see through them. Magdalene (Ch.7) was able to see through the small cracks that have broken, and Roderika... hoo she really hit a nerve didn’t she? (But it also hit one of her nerves too, Rogier vs Roderika am I right?)

Chapter 17 analysis

Also, while we’re on the topic of Roderika, let's talk about chapter 17! Seems I have a lot to talk about.

I absolutely love this chapter so much, it gives us so much insight into Rogier's backstory and the way he thinks. His noble background really shines through here, with how he acts with Roderika who is a fellow ex-noble too.

"His grin is wide and carefree, but it rather feels like he's baring his teeth. There’s no room for your pity here." -Chapter 17

This guy cannot accept any sign of sympathy/compassion with anyone. It's all pity to him, and he absolutely hates pity. Once Roderika starts to console him too it sickens him and it makes him bare his teeth like an animal, his baser instinct showing just a little bit.

He’s probably bore his teeth to other nobles in the court, or whatever meetings they have with one another. Small threats that get the message across by a vicious smile, is something he is all too familiar with.

I also think that it's a little bit funny how he gives advice to Roderika but then is also a little bit of a hypocrite about it

“It’s hard, to leave it behind. But the old world will keep its claws in you, if you let it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier while it's not his past life that he's stuck but rather, he is stuck on Lorens. Even though Rogier is no longer Lorens' student, even though Lorens is dead, he still has his claws on Rogier. It's his entire motivation, why he's in a "pathetic" state now. He isn't letting those claws go, he lets them dig deeper within him, and they dig in deep.

“You already have it within you," he says. "They were only trying to bury it.” -Chapter 17

Rogier immediately buries his own emotions in this interaction when Roderika tries to console him lol. Just based off of him being an ex-noble and his whole family thing, it's well established that he is very much used to burying it all down his gullet. I mean, is it really Rogier without emotional suppression?

Also Rogier tends to close off all the matters that relate to what he feels in his dialogue both in game and in SWRD. This guy cannot let out just a slight moment of vulnerability

A Color Theory Thing on my read on Rogier's garb:

Rogier, with his background being grounded in nobility has suppressed his baser desires in exchange for meaningless political schemes that have only brought him misery. Yet after coming to these lands, he finds himself with Lorens.

He wears a Raya Lucarian Robe and it has red on it. It's a sign of baser instincts being shown for once. He has grown an infatuation with Lorens despite being his student.

Yet, Rogier is still mostly blue, and he still suppresses that baser desire that he’s developed, that infatuation for Lorens. He never once builds up the courage to be able to tell Lorens what he feels. He would always bury those feelings down, and as a result he can't let go of it. It's far too deep to be buried back up.

But once Lorens has died, Rogier changes too.

He exchanges those garbs for yellow and turquoise (I think?). He's a mix of colors and beliefs.

He still has the blue in the turquoise, which symbolizes calm, intelligence, and emotional control (you can’t spell Rogier without emotional control) But turquoise isn't just blue, it also has green.

Green represents growth, life, and new beginnings. This is a new beginning for Rogier, who's set out for a new goal, to be able to save those who live in death (and perhaps give them life? Not so sure on that but in SWRD that seems to be the case with Lorens).

It's balanced by yellow. Creativity and originality, he's almost the only person we meet who wants to save TWLID. Not only that but yellow also symbolizes illness, which could be a foreshadowing of what happens to him later in his life.

It's not just sickness though, yellow also symbolizes deception. Rogier lies, but I necessarily think he's someone who is always deceptive. He's more like the type of guy who would lie so that an encounter would go well or not hurt someone else's feelings. I think he's like that from that whole ex-nobility thing he's got going on. Political schemes and lying through a smile is something that he's familiar with. (It also doesn't help that he keeps being emotionally suppressed too lol)

Cowardice is another. Rogier is scared to tell anyone about his emotions, to take that risk of being honest with someone. His background in nobility and his family definitely doesn't help either.

Rogier had been too scared to be true to Lorens and tell him his feelings, and because of that, he would never be able to. I feel like he's avoided it even more afterward. He refuses to take that jump of being honest with someone, whether it's about his emotions or his ideals, he doesn't let them go.

But when he does? With D, it completely breaks off everything they've had. Everything that they could have been.

"Beguiled fool. A rotten, sick bastard. Fouled by them. A wicked, two-faced user. Heartless. Loathsome parasite. How could he? Were they not supposed to set this crooked world straight? Profane. A perversion of honor. A madman." -Chapter 5

“Get out of my sight.” “I’m sorry.” He’d said, and he was. But Darian’s lips curled back, and he jerked his head away and locked his eyes on the horizon. His jaw twitched, in the moment he took to reply. “Don’t talk to me.” There was nothing he could do to fix this. To undo his mistakes, to spare Darian his intentions." -Chapter 5

It's all gone because he had been honest about his goals (presumably). This experience probably strengthened that emotional suppression so as to not be hurt/caught by surprise.

So when Magdalene, someone who wholeheartedly accepts his ideals and sees his side for once, he's cautious. He can't believe that someone can genuinely agree with him because all the times that he has been honest, he's been punished for it. (though, he reminds himself that she's not like that)

In short, this guy's a mixed bag. A mixed bag with problems

(basing this off of the Elden Ring color theory video, it was an absolute joy to watch)

[EDIT]: idk what to call this section but he seems to seek out some form of approval. Lets see how that ties in with his grief!

"He still doesn’t understand why. What did he do, specifically? Or was he just past his usefulness? Deemed unfit to rule? He never truly wanted to rule as Lord, but to be cast aside so indifferently—it had shaken him. Every now and then he fumbles with this, again and again, but he knows. He does. He knows that grace has forsaken him for good reason. He’s a heretic. An apostate. He who does not obediently bow before a faltering, decrepit Order, so ill-equipped to handle the world as it is. " -Chapter 5

"All these years. Couldn’t change a thing. Rather pathetic, I’d say—what a fool, thinking that this crooked world could be made right by mortal hands. Sure, deathblight. Truly, a fitting end for a worthless, rotten bastard." -Chapter 12

Now, speaking from some personal experience, being raised in a family that's of nobility and expects so much out of you from a young age definitely breeds some kind of self-worth issues that really stick with you. Especially if you haven't had anyone to truly support you.

Because of that, I believe that Rogier, in a way, is trying to prove his worth. But not to the Order, I think that he's in some way trying to please Lorens. Even in death.

He puts everything into his studies of Death, searching and scouring for scraps of information just to give him a single lead on anything, and for what?

"Its fulfillment will be a selfish act of altruism. These crooked lands will set right, by his hands, for a reward of nothing at all. But make no mistake: he needs another day. And another after that, and another after that. He needs his questions answered with questions, he needs his notes corrected in an unreadable hand, he needs to hear one more “Well—” followed by the most opaque, convoluted tangle of sentences ever constructed. There’s no reward he seeks, but the warm smile of cold gray eyes and a scoff about just what he’s wearing nowadays. " -Chapter 19

Rogier devotes himself to saving TWLID (saving Lorens, in reality), but it's not because it's all for selfless reasons, he seems to want things to go back to the way things used to be. Back at the Rise, with just him and Lorens once more.

I don't think Rogier ever accepted Lorens' death. He's determined to bring back Lorens, desperately trying to find a solution to bring him back no matter what.

And it’s quite hypocritical isnt it? That Rogier wants to change the Order to be able to sort of… revive Lorens from Death. To go back to the old times that they both had had.

This guy refuses to grieve and is searching (desperately) for a solution for a dead man who's probably not even good for him. Get this man some therapy

This entire post's summary is just me going:

Anyway, that's all for my crazy rambles! I can't wait to see how SWRD will progress, and how everyone will intermingle and grow with one another (Rogier and Mags)!!!! :0)

Have some doodles + a WIP that I'll probably never finish as a treat for reading this! (Mag's torso was wayyy too long on the second one oops)

(bonus boggart because I love him)

#not gonna talk about d yet #I don't want to assume too much about him just yet #but d is really interesting and i absolutely love this take on him and his grief :0) (not that I've read any other d fics.)#Rogier is so damn complicated #like. he's got so many problems like. dude get a grip and get a therapist #mags reel him back in and send him to the therapy office while ur at it #sorry if u guys cant understand my insanity... it cannot be contained #or else ill explode into pink glitter and my blood splattered all across the room #hhhh maybe ill edit this later i have to do some stuff :(#oh also unlocal if u do see this no pressure at all!! I just needed a place to be able to go crazy over ur fic lol #theres like. probably a lot I've missed but I'll make another one if I get insane again #some of this is probably incorrect and is just me reaching for an answer that doesnt exist btw #swrd #rogier #magdalene #envelope rambles #i wrote this in like. two sittings #what is happenign to me #I STILL RAMBLE IN TAGS YOU CANNOT STOP ME #the mortifying ordeal of posting #AAAA #uou guys i keep noticing things and. i just keep on fuckign ADDING MORE THINGS IN #[EDIT]: Added in rogier's self esteem into this too :3

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