#but holy shit the fandom back then was truly something else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nsyncat · 18 days

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OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

#911 abc #buck x tommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 season 7 #personal #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #911 #tevan

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inactivegaz · 8 months

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you can see me as a secret mission

pairing: kyle “gaz” garrick/oc (vaughn "cowboy" ballinger) fandom: call of duty wc: 1,197 note: all of these little scenarios have been swirling around in my brain for the last couple of weeks so if it feels disjointed, that's why. also it's 3 am. once again thank u to taylor swift simply for releasing i can see you from the vault bc that song is SOOOO vaughngaz

when each person on the team found out about cowboy & gaz

READ ON AO3 [✰]

GHOST In Las Almas.

He was scanning the room, paying attention to nothing and everything.

Next thing he knew, before everyone actually geared up, Vaughn caught him in a semi-empty hallway and grabbed his arm, quickly retracting once he gave her his attention.

"I know you don't owe me anything, considering we met… three days ago," she started with a hushed tone and he was instantly confused. "But between us: you didn't see that back there."

He blinked, trying to recall anything that the agent could be referring to. As he towered over her, he heard Captain Price calling everyone to round up. "See what?"

Clearly she misread his question as a playful agreement as she smirked and gave him a playful smack on the arm, "very good. Thanks, Lieutenant."

He shook his head as she walked back to the group, standing next to Sergeant Garrick and whispering something to him, while minimally gesturing towards the superior officer.

Ghost walked in the room, puffing his chest out as he took his place beside Alejandro as he and Price debriefed everyone once again before they took back the base. He made brief eye contact with Gaz as he tried to recall what he may have seen and once Gaz noticed they were making eye contact, he made a face, then it clicked.

Holy shit, Garrick was kissing the agent.

LASWELL A few weeks after it started.

How could she not know? She spent more time with Vaughn than anyone else on the job.

Kate knew her agent and Price's new protégé hit it off back in Paris, but she didn't realize it would wind up leading to anything. Vaughn always said she was too into her work and shrugged off the idea of having a partner.

But that changed three and a half months after Paris. After a four week leave that Ballinger scheduled because she worked so many long jobs for over a year and felt she needed a break.

Laswell didn't mean to snoop, she truly thought she was doing a good deed when Vaughn left for lunch out of office, accidentally leaving her phone on the chair opposite Laswell's desk along with her wallet.

Kate sighed and placed the younger woman's personal effects neatly on her desk, she'd be back for them.

In a moment of silence as she clicked through emails, contemplating calling her wife, there was a loud ding and the phone lit up.

She didn't mean to look, to read the text that popped up from a contact called KG reading: "got home alright, love. call tonight?"

Laswell quickly flipped the phone over and slid it over to the edge of her desk, hoping Vaughn wouldn't notice that her supervisor moved it from its original place.

Within a minute there was a quick knock on the door and then Vaughn peeked her head in, "sorry," she chuckled as Laswell waved her into the room, "I left my phone."

PRICE About a week after Laswell.

Kate informed him on their regular-but-also-incredibly-irregular lunch meet that she believed that their subordinates may have been getting intimate. He shrugged and brushed off the information with a gruff laugh, "they're young and in similar fields, I'm sure it's not anything serious."

"London is a bit far for just a booty call, John."

"They're young and stupid then." He brushed it off. It was really none of his business, especially if it wasn't affecting their professional lives.

The Captain could read his Sergeant pretty well, so when he (Gaz) had an extra kick in his step when Price informed him that they'd be working with Laswell and 'her agent,' it was noticeable. What else was noticeable was the fact that they hugged too hard and for too long when they met up at their homebase just outside of Antwerp.

Brushing it off again, Price knew well enough that Agent Ballinger was a hugger, it never bothered him enough to bring up and it wasn't an issue, it was just kind of odd.

What really cemented the pairing to him was the night, about four days in, when he left his 'office' and ran into the aforementioned agent getting startled exiting a room that he didn't believe was hers.

"Captain." She greeted, adjusting her posture and stepping away from the door.

"Ballinger," he nodded, "getting some rest?"

She had a long day scoping out their target for the next evening, she retreated to bed a couple of hours ago. "Yeah." Vaughn crossed her arms over her midsection, it was then that Price noticed she was wearing one of Gaz's button ups. "I got up to take a walk and remembered I, um, I needed to talk to Sergeant Garrick about something." Jesus Christ she was bad at lying.

They parted ways after the hasty response and instead of going to his room, he turned around and knocked on Laswell's door, knowing she'd still be up.

"Yeah, I saw her scoping the surroundings. I didn't think she'd be out of there 'till morning." Laswell informed, letting him in the room with a drink in hand.

SOAP When they told the team.

Johnny never believed anything Ghost told him casually, especially if it sounded like it could be considered gossip. On missions he trusted his word. Anything official was believable. But when they were playing pool and after the couple in question got whisked away and his superior nudged him and asked what he thought of Ballinger and Garrick? Nah, not like that.

And six months later? When Ghost nudged him in the cafeteria and posed the question again, gesturing to the couple across the room who were basically standing toe-to-toe, Cowboy brushing something off of Gaz's shoulder and letting her hand linger on his bicep just a bit too long? Still not a chance.

"Johnny, come on." Ghost was more aggravated than he should've been about the situation but he really thought that if anyone was gonna believe him when he suggested that Ballinger and Garrick were messing around, it would've been Soap.

Soap, frankly, would believe that those two were together if it were anyone else telling him. But it wasn't, so he shrugged with a shake of his head, "Ghost, have you met Vaughn? She's like that with everybody."

With a grumble, Ghost turned away and walked out of the room.

It took another two months before the idea was even brought up again to him as they were called into a debrief by Laswell and before she could start, Vaughn stood up from the table and called the meeting to attention. "Good morning, everyone. Laswell's letting me do this, by the way. But we, kinda, had some news for y'all." She greeted, messing with her hands as everyone's eyes went to her, "it doesn't really have to do with this op, but I– we– Kyle and I figured it was time to tell you that we're… engaged."

Soap couldn't help his response and he whipped around in his rolly chair and looked at the Lieutenant on the opposite end of the table, "I thought you were fucking with me."

Gaz barked out a laugh, "you didn't know?"

#this is NOT the fic i was referencing a week or two ago when i said i wrote 300 words on a new vaughngaz work btw #kyle gaz garrick #call of duty #kyle garrick x oc #oc: vaughn ballinger #otp: and now i see daylight #k writes

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liquorisce · 1 year

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What are some of your favorite fics? It doesn't have to be aot or something you've written

omg tysm for this question I love talking about my fav fics ESP BC SO MANY OF THEM ARE NON AOT 🙈🙈 I had to go to my ffn favs for this hihi

so this is list is home to the fics that I have truly idolised, read repeatedly and tried to emulate in some way or another in my own writing journey:

1. Heartbeat by letmeannoyyoutoday. U must have heard me screaming about this fic before. It is god tier, the angstiest, the most painful Sasusaku you can imagine. There isn’t even smut in it but still I’m rendered a sobbing mess everytime I read this story. And I read it every fortnight or so, I swear. canonverse. sasusaku get married.

2. The most dangerous things by Childoftheashes. Man this fic is the tastiest thing in the ichihime fandom istg. Ichigo is unapologetically horny and bossy and slutty and I love everything about it. Orihime is absolutely clueless and drives him up a wall and it’s literally completely smut! This author is one of my smut senseis. I also really love "chasing paper tigers like dreams" by her.

3. Sometimes I think the stupidest things by starsinew. Ok I’m sorry for putting this here bc this user doesn’t have this fic up anymore (I managed to find the epub and thank fuck for that) but I had to talk about it bc this fic changed me on a fundamental level. I fell in love with it so much, even to this day I look back at it with an education lens as to how to write smut. God tier. I hope this author is well and living their best life.

4. Friends with Benefits by confused panda bear. Syaosaku, card captor Sakura. Again a story that doesn’t exist anymore online but I still remember some of the dialogues bc they were so iconic. Definitely a primer on smut writing for me. I invite you to check out their other stories tho they’re literally the harugou mother, birthing the most insane crackship in the free! fandom and getting everyone else drunk on it thanks to their god tier writing.

5. Clarity by randomteenager — angsty but silly gruvia. i love it so much.

6. Seeking Ginny by Casca. Harry/Ginny fic with heavy emphasis on Ginny's personal growth.

7. How to Coexist by Spoilerarlert and also washed up and rundown, I haven't finished it yet but fuck its amazing so far. Both are modern AU stories, one in NYC and the other in Chicago. I can't recommend this author enough, they have a very original and compelling style of writing.

8. Little Beast by herblacktights. This is my fav modern au, high school eremika. If you haven't heard me raving me about this fic already then ur obviously new here. ITS AWESOME! go read it now

9. Dog by Ackermom. floch x eren at it's unhealthiest best. canonverse. This author is one my favs actually, I devour ALL of her work, no exception. I also really enjoyed her reibert fics.

10. Icarus & I by bluinary. Armin-centric. Modern AU. I read this many years ago but I think of it often. I loved Armin's journey in this fic.

11. Three Days by Lotos-Eater. Canonverse. An angsty smutty Shikatema fic where Shikamaru thinks he's lost her.

12. For everything there is a season by SouthSideStory. If y'all are sasusaku stans then you know SouthSideStory already. She's phenomenal. This one is angsty sequel which delves into Sakura's feelings post miscarriage. I highly recommend the prequel as well.

13. Fool for you by Hand of Destiny. Syaosaku. Card Captor Sakura. Syaoran is a business mogul from a very traditional Chinese family. Sakura is an innocent girl who decides to try giving the escort profession a go. God tier, I swear. It also has a sequel!

14. lost girl & found boy. eremika. lost girls-verse. mikasa wants to know how babies are made, etc. cw: teen pregnancy.

15. all you want by senlinyu. i just binged this yesterday. holy shit. it's the big daddy of m/f omegaverse fics, I swear. dramione. canonverse + omegaverse. really really good!!!

ty for the question <3

#anonymous conversations #fic recs

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firstkanaphans · 4 months

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Holy shit, no no no no no. Sarah, I'm sorry but allow me to be annoying for one second. The FirstKhao picture you just posted saying it's "Business or Pleasure" coded, I keep looking at it, AND THE MORE I LOOK, THE MORE INSANE I GO.

Because EVERY. SINGLE. THING. about it is absolutely PERFECT for BOP, and I'm about to LOSE IT.

Aye's shirt and tie, which is still serious attire, but topped with a bomber jacket and the headphones that give off the uni-esque look of an intern.

Akk, on the other hand, wearing a full suit but with his tie sorta done poorly (of which he KEEPS saying that he SUCKS AT doing throughout the fanfic!!!!!!).

AND NOW ONTO THEM??? Both sorta hiding??? But AYE is the one on front looking out to see if there's anything that could catch them, because he's the more straightforward of them, and then Akk behind him also looking but trusting Aye's eye.

Like, it couldn't be a better representation if they TRIED. This would be like the PERFECT picture for a book cover for it!!!!

jfc jfc I love it, I ADORE IT, it's insane how much this messed me up right now, when the realisation HIT I was like "holy SHIT that's it, that's how I imagine them while reading it".

BUT ALSO THE PROMPT YOU MENTIONED IN YOUR TAGS??????? God I'd love to read something like that 😅

Anyways, thank you for making my night. I can't stop looking at that pic and I wanna go and read BOP for the hundredth time, thank you thank you ✨

That picture is truly something else. I've conditioned myself to only see BoP anytime FK are wearing suits. It's a problem—a problem I'm pretty sure I've passed on to like half the fandom 😂

I still desperately want to see FirstKhao in an office BL, but at this point I'll take them in anything. Just give my babies back to me! It's been too long and I am not doing well with this whole waiting game GMMTV has chosen to inflict on us.

As for the prompt I mentioned about the history teacher fucking the soccer coach, I've added it to my list of prompts I'm going to let y'all vote on before I start writing my next fanfic. So who knows. It may actually get written!

Enjoy your BoP re-read! I'm probably overdue for one myself 💕

#asks #business or please fic

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blood-mocha-latte · 3 months

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Fandom positivity ask! 1, 3, 12, and 28!

linh truly you are. the number one. forever and always and also for all time <3

~ hbowar positivity asks ~

1 - what is your fav part about being in the fandom?

people are NICE and people are TALENTED. holy shit. it's like being friends with someone that has the skills of picasso and the kindness of our lord and savior jesus christ. which is blasphemous but TRUE

3 - what are some fics that you go back and read again and again?

oh man i am a rereading BITCH i could be here all day. but for top three i would have to gooo

Knit Us Together by @almost-a-class-act - truly the mvp boss of luztoye fics. Thee Perfect Fic it's truly art simple as that. i licherally reread it like. yesterday and am now making my wife read it. sam watch out for that because she's handwriting all her thoughts for me to show you because. oh my GOD everyone go read it

The Last Voyage by @ep6bastogne - VASTLY underrated baberoe fic. the perfect blend of human sunshine babe and tired but Good gene. sad and funny and good and i will admit that i cried. @mutantmanifesto made some GORGEOUS art for this very fic on this very day, because it's That Good

Before the Fall of Rome by @educationalporpoises - quite literally could NOT have asked for a better fucking secret santa. zee slayed. zee knocked it so out of the park that no one is yet to find the ball. it's luztoye and ancient history and reunions and truly what else do you need? 10/10

12 - songs that you associate with certain mutuals?

ohoho, this is where it gets LONG. sorry about that friends. under the cut because i have a lot to say and the time to say it, which is a bad combination

@lamialamia - linh my beloved. my darling. don't kill me but you are never gonna give you up by rick astling. not only are you catchy wonderful and always brightening up my notes, but i both never want to give you up nor let you down

@almost-a-class-act - guiding light by mumford and sons because truly what would the luztoye people do without you. die i think. you are the guiding light. the OG. thee #1

@dcyllom - dance the night by dua lipa because MOLLY whatever can i say other than you are the number one cheerleader of the modern webgott divorced two times au. you light up this world truly. this song fills me with joy and so do you

@whollyjoly - read my mind by the killers. because em you. you read my Mind on many occasion it must be said. same brain at times. how's mash going

@ewipandora - cheap thrills by sia because everytime you reblog literally anything i quite literally go ooOOOOH. you have an awesome beat good words Fascinating person. ewi i am holding your hand

@educationalporpoises - the baby shark song. zee i just see your pfp and i just immediately think of this song. i've never even heard it in it's entirety the lovely lyrics just run through my head whenever i'm lucky enough to see you on the dash <3

i have so many more mutuals that i love and adore but i do not have a mind for songs!! hugs and kisses to all

28 - what's something that lives in your brain rent free and you want everyone to know about the show/the fandom/your works?

portuguese luz. portuguese luz. do i have to say anything else. that is what everyone should know. that is number one. some good fucking food <3

#rie answers #i love this game this is like. the best. i am having the Best Day y'all #joy and love to all amen

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flowers-of-io · 3 months

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6 and 24 for Eris?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

The anxiety. No, I mean it. Every time Eris talks about the dark thoughts in the back of her mind and the ghosts of the past never going away and always weighing on her soul and recovery is a spiral not a circle and mine is not a final shape and we must accept the darkest part of us instead of running from it, I'm like yea!!! same bestie!!! That passage from Exegete, "I am afraid I am afraid that if I go on I will lose everything I have regained all my peace all my trusts all my hopes", it went so hard I tried writing a song around it. Exegete in particular is such a masterful recount of how thorny and odd recovery is, how once you've achieved any measure of peace you're dead terrified to lose it, how long it takes to heal, how many pitfalls there are on this path and it's so easy to fall into them, how you undoubtedly ARE better and you're like "i'm recovering! :)" but anyone who catches a glimpse of your mental state is like holy shit mate that's dark. My first Destiny fics were about this, because she was such a perfect character to reflect my own turbulent healing process in. That's also why I'm clinging Crow's arc in Season of the Haunted to my chest like a stuffed toy--the concept of needing to accept the darkest part of yourself, even if you hate it, even if you'd prefer to be anything else, it IS a part of you and not some alien body mistakenly attached to you, and you must accept this in order to find peace. I'm still learning that. There's not too much representation of anxiety as this huge, dark and jagged thing; not a panic attack but a monster with empty eyes baring its teeth at you and smiling and you are the monster. Hanging from the precipice and always in the act of losing your grip, always, always, never truly falling. That's how I see Eris' darkness, because that's what mine is. I've pretty much just stuffed her full of my personal demons and keep putting her in situations for the amusement of people on ao3.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

I could give you a list of characters who remind me of Savathûn or Ikora or Zavala or Drifter but in all honesty I can't find any whom I'd parallel with Eris. Tentatively I could propose Dana Cardinal from WTNV, as a case of tragic narrative foil? Both ventured into the unknown and ended up in a pit of monsters and horror, both were irrevocably changed by the experience, both had to bear responsibility that felt far too great and terrifying for them, but while Eris managed to find a way to turn her plight into strength and went on to achieve some amount of peace, Dana sort of... flickered out under its weight.

#thank u!!#eri-223 #reply #ask game #eris morning #npc talk

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trailerparkbard · 1 year

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Dancin' in the Dark [Part One] (A Gay Bar/Eddie Bartender AU)

shoutout to Bruce Springsteen a master of queer feelings ✌️

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Steve Harrington/OMC, Robing Buckley/OFC -- it's a gay bar au in the 80s friends, I'm sorry.)

Fandom: Stranger Things

Rating: T for right now but u know how it goes.

Content Notes: ehhh light feminization (nicknames)

The basement bar is loud and warm and crowded with bodies. Smoke from dozens of cigarettes fills the room, makes it feel shrouded like a dream. It is a dream in some ways. That this place exists at all is unbelievable. That it exists in the periphery of Hawkins is a fucking miracle.

The metal door slams shut behind them and they startle, shake out of the trance of ‘holy shit it’s real’ and move forward to become part of the tableau not just spectators. It feels like his first swim meet. Stepping up to the water with everyone’s eyes on him. Their expectations and his own, heavy around his neck as he slides in, proves he deserves to be here.

“Drinks first?” Robin asks and he ignores the slight shake in her voice and nods, eyes wide to match her own.

They move to the bar as one. Skin and hair, denim and flannel and leather and cotton and glass graze them, test them as they slowly make their way to wooden bar. Steve swears he felt a hand on his ass but doesn’t look back, doesn’t check, just blushes and keeps moving. He’s not used to this role. New meat, the pursued, young, unmoored and electrified.

They both cling to the sticky surface of the bar like it’s a sanctuary. Elbows and forearms anchoring them against the swell of bodies and desire. Steve looks sideways at Robin, pushing his hair back. Playing it off. Playing it cool. She sends him a grin in return, sees him. Before he can huff and tell her to shut up a pale hand covered in chunky jewelry knocks the wooden space between them. They both jump and turn their attention to the bartender. He smiles at their surprise, at seeing the same expression on two separate faces, all thick lips, sharp teeth and laugh lines.

He flips a stained bar towel over his shoulder and leans in to say “Welcome my little gay club virgins.” He lowers his lashes and takes his time strolling up Steve’s visible body from chest to hair like it’s nothing. ”What can I do you for?” and it is truly the worst line that has ever been uttered so seriously to Steve Harrington. But it hits its mark because he feels himself turning red, losing his focus. He forgets to scoff and roll his eyes. Just stands there with his mouth parted for a beat too long.

Robin laughs in his face, breaks the moment. “Dude. Does that ever work?” The bartender cackles and winks at her, at Steve. “Nah. But you can’t blame a guy for trying.” His smile is radiant. Joyful. Steve wants to feel that — to flirt without concern at anyone who catches his eye and not worry about anything — no fists or threats or his own corniness.

The guy pulls back, his his curly hair moving around him like it’s alive, acting on his manic energy. He slaps his palms on the bar rhythmically and raises his eyebrows, waiting.

“Two Miller Lights?” Steve orders — asks, like an idiot. He hums, leans forward again, invades Steve’s personal space. “I don’t know man. You sure you’re legal?” His eyes are deep brown and sparkling and Steve feels himself getting lost in the gaze. Opens his mouth to say something witty and sharp.

“Eddie!” Snaps someone else behind the bar and Eddie jerks away like he’s been smacked. “Stop flirting and get to work. We have a line, kid.” Eddie pouts and it’s theatrical. Steve wants to bite his lower lip, is shocked by that desire. “You’re so mean, Wayne,” he whines but obediently pulls out two bottles and pops the tops off. He leans back over, one beer in each hand and looks from one to the other, assessing. He’s serious now, voice lower. Something shifted. “If anyone gives you trouble come find me.” His eyes are on Steve. He waits for a nod before he releases the glass and moves back. Winks and twirls to the next customer. Leaving Steve and Robin alone to look at each other and laugh, yelling “What the hell?” with their eyebrows.

They turn their back to the bar and, protective beers in hand, scan the crowd. It's 11:30 on a Friday night and Steve and Robin breathe into the world of possibility around them.

By beer number three they're dancing together, wild and free. Loose-limbed and laughing in a way they haven't in a while -- and never around others. All the anxiety from earlier vanishing under a varnish of sweat.

Steve feels giddy when strong hands circle his waist, pull him close. He leans back into the hard chest of the man who's made his move, silently screaming "oh my god, oh my god" at Robin like he is an actual virgin. Robin is grinning and trying to tell Steve without words how hot he is, how he should go for it. He shores himself up and spins around, hands already reaching up to loop around a stranger's neck before he even knows what he looks like.

It's a thrill when this man tugs him close, lets Steve feel his dick's attention through his jeans. He's got a mustache. It's not Steve's favorite look but he's into it tonight. He's into it now. The guy grips his ass and Steve feels like he's on fire. They make out right there on the dance floor surrounded by other couples doing the exact same thing. It's messy, wet, a little too much and just enough. Steve loves it.

He pulls away when the song changes, realizes he Robin isn't next to him anymore. He looks around and finds her swaying in time with a girl. Robin's fingers are tugging a little wayward curl from her perm as she leans close. Steve allows himself a moment of internal applause for her moves, the student learning from the master. He relaxes into feeling safe and sways his way back to the bar for another round.

It takes Eddie a moment to notice him in the row of bodies vying for his attention and access to liquor. He slides over, ignoring the folks waiting, gives Steve a warm smile with a little wickedness tucked into the corner.

"Can I get--" Eddie puts up one finger and presses it against the lips of the guy who tried to jump into the silence to order. "Shhh, wait your turn. Princess comes first." He exaggerates his attention, drapes himself over the bar, curls a hand under his chin and blinks (big, beautiful) eyes at Steve. "Having fun, princess?" he asks like there's not a crowd around them trying to get a drink. Steve frowns at the nickname but it doesn't last. He feels too good, this guy is ridiculous and he likes it. "'M not a princess but yeah, Eddie, I'm having fun." Eddie's face lights up like this is the best news he's received all evening. He clutches his chest. "Aww! princess! You learned my name!"

"It's Steve," says Steve with a huff. Eddie laughs, pop's the top to his next bottle and passes it over.

"Oh sweetheart, I know what your name is," Eddie purrs. Steve feels heat prickle and rush all over his body -- can't form a response before Eddie is already gone, moved on to the next person trying to find get some social lubrication.

Steve dances the rest of the night away. Kisses three more men and is completely hard by the time the lights flick on. It's the best night he's ever had.

He finds Robin curled in a booth with the same girl as before. They're kissing and Robin has her hand on her neck and she has her hand on the side of Robin's boob. Steve slides into the seat across form them. "Hello ladies," he sings. He shakes his head when they don't even pause. He knocks the table and Robin jumps, presses her lips together and looks wildly around until she narrows her eyes at Steve. He grins, unbridled joy. "Hey Robs! Good to see you!" She rolls her eyes. Steve gestures around the bar, the lights the change in mood, everyone moving towards leaving. "Figured I should check on you crazy kids. Don't want you to get locked in when they close for the night." Robin wrinkles her nose, laughs sarcastically him and turns back to her date, eyes soft. She tilts her head at him. "Sorry about this guy, but um yeah. This was fun. Like really fun and uh." The girl laughs, slips some space between them. "Yeah, it was," her voice is quiet and her cheeks are red. She looks up at Robin, hopeful when she says "maybe we could do it again sometime."

The girls make their plans. It's a simple as a "Next week?" "Next week." and Steve saying, loud, annoying "of course I'll drive you next week, Robin, you don't even have to ask."

Steve can't wait.

---

pieces of part 2

#steddie #steddie fic #fan fic #steve harrington/eddie munson #gay bar au #bartender au #I cannot wait for eddie to climb over that bar and fuck steve (up) (with love)

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miss-meri · 6 days

Text

I’ve wanted to say this for months. Years? But it’s hard. I can feel myself losing my voice again. Fandom is important to me because in some ways I feel it’s the only way I can really connect with others.

My therapist said something interesting right when we met. After talking about my life and friends and worries, she said, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Oh, so you’re an extrovert.”

?????

I have been scolded for being too quiet and too private and too scared of speaking to strangers since childhood. An extrovert?

But she’s not… wrong.

I was lonely, weird only child with too much of an intense interest in things no one else was interested in. Meteorology: I watched the weather channel like other people watched cartoons. Books: I read the same ones over and over and over. Star Trek: I sort of lived in space with them and got the nickname “little miss vocabulary” because of all the language I mimicked.

ADHD explains some of this, now. Very intense fixations with zero interest in anything that doesn’t align. And maybe I’m a little on the spectrum too, although I will not seek that diagnosis and don’t score high on the RAADS test.

I feel like most of my childhood was spent searching for someone who cared about things the way I did, and then coming up empty handed.

That’s not to say I was without friends!

I’ve always had friends. Close friends, starting in kindergarten and continuing on, even when I was years younger than everyone else, ahead a grade and getting bullied, even when I was bad at hiding how weird my interests are. That’s really lucky, and I’m grateful.

But having friends did not mean sharing my intense interests with them. They’d let me chatter about it, just like I listened to things I wasn’t interested in (boys mostly later on, this is long before I realized I was ace), but it wasn’t shared, if that make sense?

Fandom and my best friends were the first place I felt that mirrored back. Anime conventions. Writing stories together. Cosplay. Watching The Show and then reading The Fic and then discussing, endlessly. It is the high I’ve chased ever since. All my close relationships are based on it. I met my spouse through cosplay.

I finally had people!! I finally had people who understood what I was trying to say!!! And I understood them too, deep and unambiguous. Fandom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s driven me around the world, brought me joy and creativity and self-worth and new skills. I love it.

And then, my longest, deepest, and going-on-eight-years-strong hyper fixation: Yuri on Ice.

Holy shit.

Nothing has ever hit so hard. I spent literally years talking about it with other fans, every day creating. I’ve published over 400,000 words of fanfiction and have much more yet-unpublished. Before writing this post I wrote 2k. I think about it constantly and enjoy it for its own sake, as evidenced by how much of it I just don’t post anywhere at all. I love sharing but in the end fic truly is for me.

But the fandom has slowed down, in the natural way things do. It’s no one’s fault. There are plenty of other interesting things to see and read and do. All my precious friends have been moving on, one by one. And we’re still friends, don’t get me wrong! Of course we are. I have spoken with most of them every day for years, and care deeply about their lives outside of fandom.

But what I’m trying to say is I’m an extrovert in a *very specific way*, and now I’m back in that place again. I can’t connect and have it reflected back, I can’t hear something new. There’s no end to it. Have been trying to have some space for grief. I have been getting quieter and quieter, and not feeling a lot to look forward to.

Been playing mobile games to fill the void and just feeling gray. I’m not sad, just. Faded out. It sounds so dramatic that I don’t want to even type all of this out. I want to say there’s no thesis, nothing I’m seeking, no end goal.

But maybe it’s the same as always: I want understanding.

So that’s what’s up.

#personal

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just-another-mess-in-a-dress · 2 years

Text

A Simple Kindness

YOI Snz Fic #1:

I finally sat down and decided to post some of my kink fics from over the years. Starting off with a bang:

Phichit my beloved, be still my beating heart I had to write for my boy. I love him so much, this was one of the first fics I wrote for this fandom. I hope you like it.

Fetish!Yuuri and a sneezy!Phichit because I’m horny and can’t help myself. Also Yuuri being a fuckin disaster is vibe okay!?!

Phichit 🥰⛸️

Just a little fyi I caught a pretty nasty cold ☹️🤧🤒

😬 IDK if you want to kick me out of the dorm.

I get it if you do.

I’ll try to keep my germs to myself! Promise.

😷

Yuuri reads the string of texts no less than thirteen times after receiving them. Because first of all, who gave emojis the right to be so lewd? And second… how the fuck is he supposed to keep it together if Phichit has a cold?

Their dorm is basically the size of a glorified closet there’s no way Yuuri can ahem… keep things to himself… Perhaps he should be more worried about Phichit potentially spreading some kind of virus to him but really that’s not so much a concern, per say… Also, is it wrong to be completely turned on by your friend’s cold and maybe lowkey hoping you catch it yourself?

Moral quandary aside, Yuuri does manage to text back.

I’m sorry to hear that! Of course I’m not kicking you out, you must be exhausted. When does your flight get in?

Yuuri tries to turn his attention back to business ethics but his mind is well and truly in the gutter now. Besides, the professor could not be more dull as he drones on about nothing and Yuuri’s a little busy hyper fixating on the emojis Phichit used.

As he sits there nervously bobbing his leg, Yuuri’s mind wanders to Phichit’s performance at the Cup of China just a day or so ago. He had looked a bit shaky with his jumps in the free skate and Yuuri knows Phichit’s triples are solid. Perhaps he wasn’t feeling well then too? Maybe that’s why he hadn’t placed well and that thought breaks Yuuri’s heart a bit.

Our flight leaves in about half an hour, I should be back around 5.

I’m so tired. Send help 😩

Grimacing at his phone again Yuuri tosses his notebook into his bag.

Do you need anything from the store? I’m going after class.

Yuuri taps his pen nervously on the edge of his desk as the professor’s conclusion slide pops up on the screen. Their midterm essay is due instead of class on Wednesday, which of course, Yuuri has already completed and sent in.

Just as he’s walking out the door, he gets a text that sends a rush of warmth between his legs.

Get lots of tissues and probably some of those disposable face masks. I’m really sneezy. 🤧 🤧 🤧

Like I haven’t really stopped sneezing since we landed in LA. 😩

People are staring at me lol.

Shit… Shit.

How is he even supposed to respond to that?! What does one say when their best friend says something that should be simple conversation but instead is giving Yuuri a new fantasy?

Is there anything else I can grab you?

It’s lame and stupid but holy shit he’s a little busy being jealous of all the people in LAX staring at Phichit…

Just some juice? You’re the best Yuuri! 💖💕💖

While Yuuri definitely disagrees with that sentiment he manages to smother his feelings (salacious and otherwise) long enough to get to the store. He gets four boxes of tissues, a pack of disposable masks, and a few small bottles of juice to put in their mini fridge. There’s a moment where he considers not grabbing disinfectant wipes and hand sanitizer, but he decides that he shouldn’t actively try to catch whatever Phichit is bringing with him.

He does his best not to think about his roommate’s condition until he’s back in the dorm. It takes a minute to put away his groceries and another five to feed the hamsters before he throws himself onto his bed. Only then does he let his mind (and okay, yes, his hand too. Sue him) wander. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Phichit sick before, they’ve been rooming together for two years now and they travel internationally. Illness is common, normal for them, even.

Turns out his dick didn’t get that memo, however, and still gets all tingly at the idea of a runny nose. Such is life, he supposes.

Once he’s handled himself, he turns to his schoolwork, the monotony of his assignments. The mundane task does the trick and he feels more in control of himself now. And yeah, okay, jerking off can do that too, crazy world.

He checks his syllabuses to placate his nerves; his history professor is notoriously strict and for a second he’s convinced himself he did his whole mid-term in the wrong citation style. However, his nerves only settle for a minute or two before they bundle up again. This time because his ears catch the sound of a very congested sneeze from down the hall.

Yuuri’s mouth dries a bit as he fidgets on his bed, lord have mercy here we go.

The door opens and Yuuri’s heart instantly beats a bit faster.

Phichit looks terrible even with half his face covered. His eyes are red and watery, his complexion is nearly grey, and there’s a wet spot sitting right in the middle of his face mask.

“Hey. How’s it going?” Phichit asks, his voice is drenched in congestion and the question is punctuated with a harsh sniff.

“I’m alright. I thought you weren’t supposed to land until five.” Yuuri closes his laptop and sets it aside.

“We got- hhin early.” Phichit’s eyes squint up towards the industrial light above. His chest rises sporadically but ultimately leaves him without the satisfaction of a sneeze. “Ciao Ciao took me to the Student Health Center. On the bright side, it’s not the flu.”

“That’s good.” Yuuri manages to nod as Phichit drops his bag at the foot of his bed.

“So how… how wa-was… ahh…” An unnecessary hand raises up to cover his face, though Yuuri wonders if maybe it is necessary considering the sodden material. “He-tchuh! Tishuh!.. heh… heh eh-Psheh!”

“Bless you.” Yuuri forces himself to look away as his roommate wipes his eyes.

“Thank you… snif!” Phichit sighs as he squeezes his eyes shut. “How was your week?”

“Oh, it was fine. Business as usual. It was nice to have practices by myself.” Yuuri watches Phichit deflate into his bed. “Did the health center give you anything?”

“Yeah… but I don’t think I can take it… you know how the ISU is about medication. Don’t wanna risk it.”

“I’m sure your cold medicine isn’t banned.” Yuuri tries to reason.

“Ciao Ciao offered to call the hotline to find something I could take. I told him not to bother… it’s just a cold.” Phichit shrugs out of his coat. Yuuri swears he can see the goosebumps rise on Phichit’s skin when the coat falls to the floor.

“Yeah but… you look pretty-”

“Et-chuh!”

“Bless you… miserable.” Yuuri bites back the undignified sound he wants to make.

“I’ll be fine.” Phichit sniffs a few times, “Ugh, sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Yuuri bites his lip as he shuffles off the bed. “I got your tissues and juice.”

“Tha-hank chuh!... thank you.”

Yuuri opens one of the boxes, then he decides to just bring the trash can with him as he returns to the beds.

“Here.”

He places the bin near the head of Phichit’s bed, when he turns back to his friend he has to bite down hard to keep his jaw from dropping.

Phichit has removed his soiled face mask revealing the mess beneath. His nose is a bright warning label shade of red and its glistens with thin strands of mucous. He sits just on the precipice of a testy sneeze, his eyes half closed, his nostrils flaring dramatically, and of course, the jittery gasps that all culminate in what has to be a hugely reliving release.

“Hep-Tshu! He-Tcha! God.” He groans.

“Bless you.”

Phichit snuffles into no less than six tissues to clean up what must be hours of mess. Between the flight and the drive back to the university… god why does Yuuri sort of wish he were a face mask? What the fuck even…

“You don’t have to keep blessing me… I’m gonna be sneezy all night.” Phichit tosses the wad of tissues into the bin. “Do you want me to wear a mask?”

“Uh, no, you don’t have to. You’re the sick one and you’ve flown halfway across the world today. Just try to get comfortable, okay?”

Phichit looks up at him gratefully, “Maybe you should wear one then? Trust me, you don’t want to catch this.”

Well, that’s just patently untrue… Regardless, Yuuri plucks one of the disposable masks out of the box and throws it on. At least now he can hide his blushing, right? Especially because Phichit sneezes twice more while Yuuri’s back is turned.

“The nurse says it’s just a head cold but Ciao Ciao isn’t letting me skate for at least a week.” Phichit slumps further into his bed, a thin cough escaping his lungs. “I mean, isn’t getting last place punishment enough?”

“I don’t think you’re being punished.” Yuuri says grabbing a bottle of juice from the mini fridge.

“No, it’s punishment… He’s upset because I went out there and did my free skate while I had a fever.”

Yuuri swallows thickly as he puts the drink on the nightstand. “Oh, well, in that case… I guess you’re being punished.”

“What was I supposed to do? I went all the way to China to skate so I-… huh… I skha-ate… skated… uhuh… ehh…” Phichit’s hand raises lethargically in front of his face. He takes four deep inhales clearly trying to entice the sneeze forward and failing to do so.

“Yeah but… You should remember that Celestino is in charge of us, especially when we’re abroad. He wants you to take care of yourself, that’s all.”

“You’re one to talk.” Phichit snorts, the grimace he gives afterwards indicates the action hurts at least a little bit.

“Well… it’s easy to say when I’m not the one in trouble.” Yuuri chuckles nervously.

Phichit squints again, a shaky sigh rattling his chest. “Ehhh… ahh-ha-… huh… come on… Heptshah! Hatchu! Etsha-ETCHOO!”

Yuuri has to really focus on not paying attention to his groin after that particular display. Holy shit, why does his roommate – his best friend no less – have to be the perfect picture of a head cold?

“Bless you.” Yuuri can’t help himself from commenting as Phichit mops up his nose.

“Thank you…”

“You don’t have any mid-terms coming up do you?” Yuuri asks settling back into his own bed.

“No, thank god.” Phichit looks up from blowing his nose, “Did them all before I left. If I can’t skate there’s no way I’m going to class.”

“That’s good then, you have time to rest.” Yuuri tries in vain to return to his assignment but it’s incredibly difficult considering the circumstances. Phichit really is sneezing every five to ten minutes which is starting to wear on Yuuri’s resolve. Between blowing, sniffling, and sneezing he’s basically living in the type of universe his wildest wet dreams could only imagine.

It’s a relief when Ciao Ciao calls him.

“How are you Yuuri?” He asks, perfectly unaware of how ridiculous that question sounds to him.

“I’m alright…”

“Great, can you do me a favor? I got Phichit some medication for his cold can you come get it from my office?”

“Sure thing coach, I’ll be there in a bit.” Yuuri nearly runs out of the room. Part of him is a bit embarrassed to do so. The last thing he wants is Phichit thinking he finds his cold disgusting, but damnit he has a great excuse now to get his shit together. He throws his mask away the second he sees a trash bin and instantly takes a deep breath. The world is certainly testing his resolve today.

The walk to Celestino’s office is blissfully calm and the cool evening air does the trick. By the time he arrives, Yuuri feels like himself again and he’s not being manhandled by his dick, thank god. Ciao Ciao corrals him into a conversation about the Grand Prix Final coming up in December before handing off the medication.

Yuuri strolls back to the dorms at a leisurely pace, his head swirling with an ocean of thoughts. Between the Final, schoolwork, and the intrusive thoughts about Phichit’s cold; his brain is overrun with activity.

When he pushes into their room he finds the lights are still on but Phichit is dead to the world. Still, he tries to rouse his friend from his slumber.

“Phichit? Celestino got you some medicine.” Yuuri says softly putting a hand on his shoulder to shake him. There’s a moment where Yuuri can’t help himself. He finds his hand creeping up to Phichit’s forehead to check for temperature. He’s warm but not to such a degree that Yuuri is concerned.

Phichit’s eyes crack open just the slightest bit.

“Hey, Ciao Ciao got you-”

“Het-chu!” Phichit’s eyes shut as he jolts forward with the sneeze.

Yuuri pulls his hand back and closes his gaping mouth. Holy shit, holy shit, Phichit just sneezed on him. Any resolve he might have gained on his little walk around campus instantly leaves his body as he takes a step back.

Phichit, however, hasn’t seemed to notice at all as he rears back for another sneeze.

Yuuri pushes the tissue box a fraction closer to his friend. Phichit buries his face into the offered tissues and sneezes two more times before he seems to be aware of the world around him.

“Ugh… Hey, how… how long have you been gone?” Phichit asks pulling another tissue out of the box to blow his nose.

“About an hour. Ciao Ciao got you some ISU approved medicine.” Yuuri holds out the box to him, still reeling from what has just happened. His legs feel weak and he’s incredibly warm inside.

“And you… Aw, Yuuri that’s so nice of you to go get it for me. Thank you.”

“It was no trouble.” Yuuri tries to hide the furious blush overtaking his features.

“I’d hug you but I don’t think either of us want that.” Phichit sniffs to prove the point.

Yuuri turns back to his bed while Phichit downs a dose. When Yuuri turns around he sees the familiar sight of Phichit scrolling through his phone.

“You don’t want to get back to sleep?”

“I’m making sure Chris yelled at Viktor for me.” Phichit wipes his nose with the heel of his hand.

Yuuri sputters out a few incomprehensible sounds before eventually settling on a: “Huh!?”

“Oh, yeah. Viktor was patient zero.” Phichit rolls his eyes, “I’m pretty sure that he either doesn’t know how to cover his mouth or he was conspiring against us. The man was a walking biohazard during our practice days.”

It’s official, Yuuri no longer exists. Not on this Earth and maybe not even the next. Phichit has Viktor King-of-the-Ice Nikiforov’s cold. Phichit got to witness Viktor having the head cold from hell for days, and he apparently never covered his mouth. And now Yuuri has been infected. With Viktor’s cold. Viktor’s sneezy drippy cold. What a world.

The next few days are going to be quite the adventure. And Yuuri has some internet sleuthing to do to see if anyone recorded the Cup of China practice…

#yoi #snzblr #snz kink #snz fic #fetish!yuuri #sneezy!Phichit #my writing #snz fan fic #cold #mess #cw mess #cw contagion

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lake-cosay · 2 years

Text

jesse & lake songs

nobody asked but here's my list of jesslake songs, minus the ones i found from the fandom which i can make a separate list of if y'all want. i'm here to validate myself lol so these are all the ones i came up with on my own (some of em are specific to just lake or just jesse and some of them make absolutely no sense to anyone else but yknow)

lake songs

Renegade by Styx

the whole song is about being on the run from the cops and in fear for your life do i really need to say much more. plus its a banger. it's one of those songs i would definitely make an animatic for if i had the patience

My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

first aid kit has been my comfort band, if you will, for years, and i've known this song for years, but recently i actually listened to the lyrics properly (auditory processing issues who) and was like holy shit this screams lake. it's about being stuck someplace you hate and wanting to break out. i was gonna point out some of the lyrics that really stick out to me but it's just. the WHOLE song. but if i had to pick my favorite for this context, it'd be the chorus:

"i hear a voice calling / calling out for me / these shackles i've made in an attempt to be free / be it for reason, be it for love / i won't take the easy road."

(and like. there's always a chance i'm massively mis interpretting the lyrics so,,, idk lol)

jesse songs

Empty Page by The Crane Wives

yknow how at some point basically everyone in our fandom realizes "omg the b2 title 'cracked reflection' applies to jesse too because he copies the people around him!!!" it's that but in a banger song

it's also a little depressing but let jesse be sad sometimes ppl he needs catharsis too

jesse & lake songs

Rebel Heart by First Aid Kit

this one is in this section cause it fits for both of them. like it could see the lyrics being from either of their perspectives. it's also another one where its basically just the WHOLE song that i feel fits but here's some highlights:

"you told me once i had a rebel heart / i don't know if that's true / but i believe you saw something in me that lives inside you too"

"i know you truly saw me / even if just for a while / maybe that's why it hurts now / to leave it all behind"

"i don't know what it is that makes me run / that makes me wanna shatter everything that i've done / why do i keep dreaming of you? / why do i keep dreaming of you? / is it all because of my rebel heart?"

this is another one i can picture an animatic for. curse you adhd

Wait for Me from Hadestown

(i personally like either the concept album version or the nytw/live version best for them)

listen. i'm never gonna be over the parallels between jesse and lake's story and orpheus and eurydice's (in hadestown specifically, lol). obviously the chorus is the part that really fits, but it just reminds me so much of the mall car, the wasteland, and so on, of all the shit that both jesse and lake go through to get back to each other and to get home. dont touch me im emotional again

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City

"please i just want u to hold me again" the song. also it's just nostalgic for me cause owl city my beloved. reminds me of AUs where jesse can't get back on the train and is just stuck missing lake, not knowing what to do and just generally Being Depressed Now

"the silence isn't so bad / till i look at my hands and feel sad / 'cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly"

"drenched in vanilla twilight / i'll sit on the front porch all night / waist deep in thought because when i think of you, i don't feel so alone"

Ribs by Lorde

this one is mostly just vibes. as far as the lyrics the most i can understand is "growing up sucks." i found the song through a connverse animatic and the connverse fandom got me into infinity train so i guess my brain connected them? but the vibes are so good.

"you're the only friend i need / sharing beds like little kids"

Little Soldiers by The Crane Wives

i almost forgot this one cause i forgot to put it on my playlist cause i hear it all the time on cd in my car. my GOD this is the most jesslake song out there i swear to god. i don't even know how to articulate it more than that. please just go listen to it

the "i swear that i loved you/i swear that you loved me" parts get to me man. holy shit.

#(spends 2 hours making one post)#ghost.text #infinity train #lake infinity train #jesse cosay #jesslake #btw the jesslake isnt necessarily romantic #if u know me u know i see them as queerplatonic

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mios-art · 1 year

Note

"controversial thoughts maybe" NO???? 😭😭😭 QIJIU FANS DEFINITELY AGREE WITH YOU!! And people who like both characters, actually. I don't know about wider fandom though, which is maybe what you're referring to? Idk which part of what you said they'll hate tho 😭 Anyway oh my gosh I love Yue Qingyuan too! Do you ship him with anyone else or do you just want his happiness in general?

Also, agreed on the things you said! Although I do think that Shen Jiu/Original Shen Qingqiu would have accepted Yue Qingyuan's care for him, eventually, if the truth ever came out and they were reconciled. It's all he ever wanted, you know? To know that he wasn't discarded, hadn't been abandoned like a burden.

And oh man, fix it fics are !!! yesyesyes, it's just a shame that Shen Qingqiu fix it fics that aren't Qijiu are often extremely unfriendly to Yue Qingyuan... but I digress. Yue Qingyuan was still so supportive in the end, and while he was unhappy that Shen Qingqiu seemed to have forgotten everything they used to share, he would have been happy that Shen Qingqiu was happier, now. Their memories would just have to be carried by him alone. And Yue Qingyuan will have to live without ever truly knowing forgiveness, because the man who could have given it to him was no longer there—because to his knowledge, that man had lost his memories and was no longer the same person he used to be, but in reality, that man had long since passed away, unmourned.

"I like to think that they'll meet again, somehow" the mausoleum arc was SUCH a wasted opportunity to have OG SQQ back in his body instead, honestly. Post-canon reincarnation or modern reincarnation or something just feel so... hollow to me. Yue Qingyuan laid his heart bare, but there was no one to hear him. And afterwards, he licked his wounds alone, locked once more in the very same cave where it all began.

"we probably will need to tie OG Shen Qingqiu on a chair so he has no choice but to listen though lmao" lmao though fr, he has this issue where he lets his anger and mouth get the best of him. Meanwhile, Yue Qingyuan says too little. It's their whole deal. Shen Qingqiu needs to learn how to listen, Yue Qingyuan needs to learn how to speak. They both need to learn how to communicate, but in different ways.

Holy shit this got so long, I'm sorry. But you did say you liked people interacting with you...? HAHAHAHA

I'm glad you think so! I think I might be used to being in fandoms with younger audiences where the teens have a very black and white morality and ignore canon to defend their favourite characters/ships, I just assume people on the internet will get mad at me 😂😭

I don't really ship Yue Qingyuan with anyone, just want him happy haha, he gives me aro/ace vibes more than anything, totally would have lived his entire life with Shen Jiu though if he could have

That's an interesting thought!! I was more thinking "is there an after life in this universe? They could meet there" haha, but genuinely I think it's important to the story that OG Shen Qingqiu is gone forever. It ads depth and a certain reverence to death, exits are not made equal as they say, sometimes they're unfair and messy, that's part of life and it's tragic. Saying they'll meet again is comforting, but story wise I think it's much better and more heartbreaking to say they passed each other and missed their chance

Yue Qingyuan really should have learned to say no to Shen Qingqiu aaaaa, bro literally looked at his crush beat up and bully a kid repeatedly and went like "well that's not great, let's do nothing about this" 😭

Always happy to talk but also!! Come off anon we can chat!! 🥺

#not an art post #svsss spoilers #shen jiu #yue qingyuan

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thedawningofthehour · 1 year

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I remember being introduced to the concept of ethnic cleansing unknowingly thanks to a Danny phantom fic. I remember I thought it was one of the most cruel and merciless things that could be done to someone, the helplessness and anger I felt when I finished reading was overwhelming, however, I consoled myself a little with the fact that it was a dystopia and did not happen in real life. Until I found out that it did happen in real life, and the way it affected a massive amount of indigenous communities that to this day is recognized as genocide, left me in shock.

The thought of being stripped of your identity, your culture, your family, while you see that the people responsible are quietly sitting back because they think they are doing you a favor, while insulting your roots, is enough to make you scream until your throat bleeds. It is truly a horror story.

If that's Draxxum's plan, then I don't think any punishment planned for him would be enough. The minimum i would ask, Whatever happens to him, let him know that he brought it on himself.

PD: i think is made clear that Donnie will not recover his memories before the war begin, And that when he does, the realization of the consequences of what he has done will be devastating. Almost enough to fill an entire arc😉?

What is WITH Danny Phantom and fucked up fan content? Seriously, the most horrifying, fucked up shit I've found has been in the Danny Phantom and the Yugioh fandoms-and the Yugioh fanworks were mostly just horny in really weird directions. Growing up I assumed that it was just the general age of the Phandom, that we were just at that point where we started becoming aware of the fucked up shit around us and were using fanfic and fanart to explore it. Which was definitely at least partially the case, but holy shit. Other cartoon fandoms generally don't have a vivisection genre. I don't know what it is about that show that brings this shit out in us. (I say this with love and affection-I have loved that show for almost twenty years)

I can't really say I recommend it, because it's not a book you enjoy reading, but I had to read First They Killed My Father a few years ago for a class, which is a first-hand account of a child during the Cambodian Genocide. I physically could not eat while I read this. I had no appetite. I'd have to put the book down and go do something else for a while before I could think about food. I generally consider myself a pretty stoic, hardened person when it comes to that kind of stuff-I recognize that it's horrible and feel bad, but it doesn't really upset me, if that makes sense. I remember reading one article about the Khmer Rouge that mentioned a specific tree they would use to kill infants-yeah, that is one of the only times I've ever had to say "I mentally cannot handle finishing this" and closed the tab.

The author describes being recruited as a child soldier and being told that they're the pride of the Khmer Rouge and that Pol Pot loves all his children. She's sitting there and remembering the people who starved to death in her original work camp while they loaded up food onto trucks to be sold internationally. Parents pleading with soldiers for more food because their children were actively starving. Being told "we only need two million people for our perfect society. We don't need them." It's a kind of rage and despair that you don't totally understand how to feel because it's not your own.

Like so many other things that Draxum does, it's a bit different because he's been there. His people were attacked because they were Yokai. His culture wasn't actively suppressed, but the Hidden City was so big and so few of his people made it there in the first place that most of their practices and traditions were replaced or simply died. No one speaks the Nordic language he grew up speaking. And he's not the kind of villain that just wants to make everyone suffer because he did. He's very aware that what he's doing is wrong-he just thinks that it's better than the alternatives.

Oh. Oh man. I have plans for Donnie. And yes, you should read that with an air of foreboding.

#are my sentences making sense? i feel like my wording is off today #i'm totally sober this time #doth #doth asks #baron draxum

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sflow-er · 1 year

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holy shit i read all your works in the last like week i think and i love them so so much. the amount of effort and research you put into them to make them as dynamic and correct as possible is incredible. the way you manage to bring the characters to life and make them fit the characters in the show SO well (even the ones that literally only have like 5 lines in total). but most of all the way you write henry and his asexuality and walter's support and their growth into it together is so touching and hopeful and GOD i love them so much.

ig i just wanted to tell you how much i appreciate them im sorry if this is odd or not how things work im still not rlly familiar with the whole tumblr thing but i just couldnt NOT say anything so here we are

Oh my god thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my humble fics and for this amazing message 💜

Ahhhh what to say to all the praise... Well, I really wanted to do right by the (S1) canon and to make my stories and setting feel authentic, so it's lovely to hear that the research showed and the character expansions worked! I've always been the type of fan who wants to know more about the minor characters, and I sort of fixated on Henry, so I figured that was something I could contribute to the fandom (although I did also want to continue Wilmon's story, as we didn't even have confirmation on S2 back when I started writing and I needed closure haha).

As for Henry's asexuality and his and Walter's whole relationship (both their friendship and their eventual romance), that's definitely the part of the story that I'm most proud of. I love the phrase 'growth into it together', it describes them so perfectly - I hope you don't mind me stealing it for future use!! It's basically the kind of hopeful ace story I could've really used once upon a time, and putting it out there for people to read (and potentially dislike) was frankly terrifying. So it truly means the world to me to hear from readers who loved it!! I don't really know what else to say besides thank you so, so much, and I love you for loving my take on Walty 💜

Also, please do not apologise for giving me the best possible start to my day!

#young royals #ask #palehottubchild #young royals fanfic #henry young royals #walter young royals #walty #other people's secrets #aspec henry #asexuality

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rebelsofshield · 2 years

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Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Part Three”-Review

Obi-Wan Kenobi excels in character and payoff even as it continues to be a little rough around the edges.

Now burdened with the knowledge that his former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, is alive, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Leia must somehow secure passage back to her homeworld of Alderaan. Meanwhile, the Inquisitorius ups their game as their master, Darth Vader, enters the hunt.

Back when Kathleen Kennedy first announced Obi-Wan Kenobi, she billed the series as a rematch. Somehow, someway Obi-Wan and Vader were going to cross blades again. This, of course, sent immediate waves through the fandom. As fun as the concept seemed, it was not clear just how this would be executed. Is there a story there? How do you execute this sort of plot idea without undermining one of the most classic Star Wars scenes of all time?

The end result mostly works and while the big showdown between Vader and Kenobi is going to drive most of the discussion about “Part Three” there is plenty else to discuss here.

We begin with a shaken Obi-Wan and Leia arriving on the mining world of Mapuzo. When their supposed contact doesn’t appear at the given coordinates, Obi-Wan despairs and we are once again reminded of the former Jedi’s growing cynicism. After spending a decade alone following a series of earth shattering betrayals, his faith in the goodness and reliability of others has all but evaporated. While Leia tests Obi-Wan’s hopelessness, the ever present danger of a galaxy ruled by the Empire are never far behind. It creates a consistent sense of paranoia and tension in the world around them but also between both of our leads as their differing perspectives on their environment and the people that populate it continue to undercut their decisions at every turn. The kindly alien Frek is actually a fascist, but the woman in the intimidating Imperial uniform is an agent of a Force Sensitive Underground Railroad. (And so is Quinlan Vos? Holy shit how is he doing?) Things aren’t ever as they seem and trust is sometimes necessary.

There is a potential connection there in the relationship between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader, two men who had as intimate a trust as two people could have but ten years ago tried to murder one another. While Obi-Wan sees glimpses of Anakin in the desert, Vader’s hurt is more literal and of the flesh. We open up with a montage of the assembly of his new cybernetic body and we linger on his scars and burns. When Vader finally does arrive on Mapuzo, Obi-Wan remarks on the dark, ugly transformation that has consumed his former brother.

Chow shoots Vader like a monster as he mercilessly slaughters civilians in some truly gruesome fashion. This is a man with no regard for mercy or loyalty. He’s animal rage and singular focus. But again, Obi-Wan doesn’t engage. He only fights his former apprentice as a way to distract him from Leia. And even then “fight” is a loose term. When initially confronted with Vader’s saber wielding silhouette, Obi-Wan turns tail and runs. When he is forced to finally fight back, his attempts are clumsy and floundering. It’s telling that Obi-Wan can still kick ass with a blaster as we see him dispatch with a platoon of stormtroopers like an old west gunslinger, but his traditional weapon, his tool from a more civilized age, feels foreign in his hands. Obi-Wan has lost himself in his hiding and despair but Vader meanwhile has been stewing in hate and a singular focus for years. It’s determination and hate versus sadness and uncertainty and the result is a trouncing. When Vader drags a disarmed Obi-Wan through burning coals, you can feel the murderous glee emanating from beneath his mask. This is the revenge he has been hoping for, the long torturous unmaking of his former brother.

There is however just something about the execution of it all that flounders. Even as the acting and writing by Joby Harold, Hannah Friedman, Hossein Amini, and Stuarte Beattie sell the emotional and thematic weight of their encounter, there are quite a few moments when this sequence, and elsewhere this episode, fall flat. Maybe it’s messy direction on Chow’s part, but I’m not inclined to assign blame to a director that has more than shown her abilities over the years. Regardless of the reason, there are just many moments in Obi-Wan Kenobi that are awkwardly realized and unfortunately they just seem to compound as the episode goes on. It may just be a simple matter of the series showing its budget. While The Mandalorian and especially The Book of Boba Fett definitely have moments when the Volume’s digital environments are more than noticeable, the artifice of Obi-Wan Kenobi almost always feels in danger of collapsing. The environments often feel desolate, the sets hollow and awkward, and the action choppy and amateurish. Even despite the drama and build up, Obi-Wan’s duel with Darth Vader at times cannot help but feel like two cosplayers filming a fan video in a quarry. This is not to say that Star Wars cannot be done on a smaller budget, but when these shows attempt to mimic the same grand scope of their cinematic counter parts, the results are often middling. When you don’t have the power of $200 million of special effects to clean up every shot, your creative decisions have to be much more purposeful and direct and so far Obi-Wan seems to be fumbling this more than one would hope.

It’s a shame because on so many levels Obi-Wan Kenobi is delivering on the promise of its premise. The acting is top notch, the writing is layered and actually interested in testing its characters, and it boasts a great original musical score. There are even moments when the direction does shine through! But just as often we slam awkwardly between scenes and locations or are shown a set or prop that just doesn’t land. Even if it means we get more time for character, one can’t help but wonder what this show could have been with the budget and focus to iron out its wrinkles.

Score: B+

#Star Wars #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi #review #reviews #Ewan McGregor #Deborah Chow

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incarnateirony · 11 days

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Also sorry to anyone else I'm legit breaking the brain of on things like mediumship.

See, I don't talk to dead people. I mostly talk to living ones. The memories of the dead carry on with us, as us, as a part of us, a piece of who we are. Gods are rarely truly singularly defined, and to find their true instruction, one can generally listen for the message of any Sender abroad, if they know where to look.

Whether or not you find who you thought you were looking for is something else entirely.

If a single localized instance can not be the entire voice of a man, how then the entire voice of a god put through a surrendered man? Ay, there's the real crux. Find them within, reflecting on the external signs we see in this world. And then you are on your way to understanding or even being I Am. But you have to find your own voice in that mess first.

Truly though. The weather. In here.

Why is it so difficult for this woman to accept a single fault? Whether that "yeah, stalking a furry porn server to come at your investor and game bros was weird" or "yeah, if I'm copying your old stories and designs I probably don't know him that well". Like until a few weeks ago she was calling herself a Priestess of Hermes on my stolen shit she's only half dismounted, and said she was On The Wrong Path, while being besties with someone who's display is literally There Is No Wrong Way, and now she can't figure out where she went wrong and how to unfuck herself.

Honestly the answer is your entire life path for the last several years is fucked. Your friend group choices, your relationships, your actions, time investments and behaviors, your weird boot licking cult remnants to me, all of it, it's fucked. Fucking. Start over, literally. Whether that mean rebooting your Game File, since you treat this like a game, or going back to think about old checkpoints like you've been pointed to do, before you went all hair ripping whackadoo. Before you lost sight of who YOU are instead of who I might be.

No seriously, you fell into the Wrong Way Party that loves going backwards, that's why you loved driving with them, because you love going backwards, and you reinforced each other until you had a bonafied unwitting cult to your ex husband built on our old playlist configurations renamed magic, bred into normalcy for your spouse to play into. You wanted to play at Shadow Work, but despite me leaving jung sections both on our old coven server and my fandom server, you never touched that--in fact you went along with trying to delete my server and destroy those works. So knowing little, you enshrined your leviathan as your guide, not even listening to your silly supernatural TV show about putrefying it. Like your acidizing holy water I'm working on that has removed the rootbind from your plants. Meanwhile almost every aspect of your masculine pantheon is corrupted down to fursuit friday hermanubis when I forget to feed Velcro at five AM, okay? Because you thought the snake was a scarf to wear, you thought the mask was irrelevant. It's always been a snake in a snake in a persona mask attached to akasha internet, Shealyn.

Figure it out.

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