#but hey what can u do
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glad i got that post out but it. did not go remotely the way i planned for it to
#CAN’T BE MAD AT ME. — 𝖔𝖔𝖈#i do the same thing on my multi like???#just write long drawn out hc's that irritate me to no end before i read it a week later like THIS IS PERFECT WHO WROTE THIS#for example: hated the love hc when i wrote it last week. today it is my most favorite post to date#jgnjtrkgtn like in my head it was gonna be abt her interests n stuff. then my brain went 'it all started when she was born'#but hey what can u do
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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Lmao Trader Joe’s sent me a rejection email. More like TRAITOR Joe, am I right?!!
#I can’t believe I’m 30 years old and trying to work at a grocery store again#and the grocery store is literally like ‘fuck you we hate your résumé’ lmfao#might have to go back to social services after all#that would blow chunks after everything I’ve been through#but hey what can u do
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I hate the sewers . jpg
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#larian studios#astarion#astarion ancunin#halsin#bg3 halsin#comics#fanart#me browsing my saved clips like 'wait why did i record this one—'#cuts the scene im laughin for solid 5 mins#i feel so bad for astarion it almost looks like he isn't my fav w this treatment kcvvnxovx#'the bank money can wait - we need to pamper astarion now'#hey past me why did u try to switch places w halsin instead of- yknow- tHE GUY YOU PAIRED HIM WITH#prob was bc halsin had more hp to let him step on fire - and also forgetting the water pipe does that#ngl i still don't really understand how to do this part the proper way#like- yeah i know what to do but it's never perfect and always someone will get burned or pushed#plot twist im making better numbers here than twt w bg3 so i'm posting here first while i do a twt detox#my mental health this month is hanging there by two strings and these strings are baldurs gate 3 and hades 2#currently doing my honor run with my rebooted tav'chyon the dracomonk pls wish me luck
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the lamb: yall mind if i explode into tentacles
havin a little fun with the lamb and potential tentacle body horror because i think sometimes they should be gross. why SHOULDN'T these God creatures be an affront to the nature of creation
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl oc#cotl fanart#i was just like what if the lamb was like a gross resident evil enemy#*gasps softly* las plagas cultist.......#also i headcanon that narinder can still do that gross face thing but he can't do much else. so he just bothers everyone with it#everyone eventually gets used to it and narinder is like FINE i guess no one appreciates theatrics anymore. fuck off.#the lamb as disgusting and monstrous as ever: hey stop scaring her she's very sensitive :(#neves: *isn't paying attention to the sermon* why is there goo everywhere i hate it here#every sermon has a splash zone. pray u are not in it#U can tell how I got progressively lazier drawing. Sorry.#*continues to shove my oc in your faces*#my art
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I like bloodweave. Okay. But I DON'T like the version of them in fanfic where Astarion is a dick and Gale is like. Whining and pleading for him to be emotionally vulnerable (or just. Nice to him) prior to the relationship being established. Because that is just not accurate. Gale needs the player to express interest in him during his weave-teaching scene before he even considers hitting on them properly. Gale is entirely resigned to his fate and needs someone else to pull him away from it. Gale only starts being sweet and romantic and devoted after you accept his love confession and give him hope for the future. Gale says fuck all and then slinks away to cry privately if you break up with him.
Like he isn't chasing after people lmao. He isn't dropping to his knees and crying about anything much less this dickhead he met a week ago. He is overwhelmingly passive about literally everything personal to him up to and including his own death (provided there are no casualties/there is a good reason) until after the player expresses that they care about him. Astarion is not doing that in any of these fics.
Like Gale is friendly and a dork and doesn't wanna get murdered but he fully has a suicide plan. He thought the artefacts would help him survive but he didn't believe he'd ever truly live again. If Gale confessed and Astarion said/did like one (1) mean thing afterward Gale's romance is closed off forever. He's wandering into the forest to cry. He's killing himself immediately. His fragile ego and self worth can't take it. You have to understand that when we joke about him being pathetic it's not bc he's like. Sopping wet and chasing people down and begging for a scrap of attention. It's because he craves affection but would literally rather die than ask or even hope for it until someone else forces that hope back into his serotonin-deficient tadpole brain.
#i feel like u can tell when a bloodweave fic is written by an astarion stan vs a gale stan lol#because the astarion stans are just using gale as a vessel for like. their sopping wet meow meow#who screams and cries until astarion becomes emotionally vulnerable with them#which gale would not do. realistic bloodweave is astarion tries to fuck him in act 1 and he refuses because of the orb#and then astarion is like “boo what the fuck. change of plans” and gale is like “okay” and they never speak of it again lol#anyway#please god the gale characterisation in this place. half of you make him the soppiest most pathetic loser and the other half make him evil#he's not ACTUALLY a loser. when i joke about it the reason its funny is because its not true#hes just a regular guy with depression lol. hes not out here debasing himself begging for some old twink to care abt him#bg3#gale dekarios#bloodweave#gale of waterdeep#does this make sense. i havent slept#i just mean that if you want gale to be sappy he needs to have like. prior assurance that his feelings are reciprocated#because if he doesnt have that and astarion is a dick to him he WILL just give up on the relationship#like hes not hunting people down after they deliberately upset him. i see so many fics where they create tension by lime#*like#having astarion openly fuck someone else after establishing a sort-of relationship with gale. for the drama#like hey. gale fully dumps you if you do that in game!! you have no way to convince him not to. he will dump astarion for that permanently
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“You would place Cybertron at the center of the universe.”
“Cybertron is the center of my universe. How is it not at the heart of yours?”
#optimus prime#megatron#transformers#maccadam#transformers devastation#hey why do i draw op from behind so often???? whats with that#that axe isnt in the game i just didnt want to have to spend time trying to look one up#this was fun! can you tell i tossed random colors around until i was satisfied with it akdhsjbdjxnd#tfdevastation my favorite tf media of all time <3 i adore u#im not fully satisfied with everything in this but i cant keep working on it otherwise i’ll explode so
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late halloweeen dooodleee
#group photo ft. little blue riding hood and the monsters that got attached :>#❤💙💜💜#mblue art#self insert#uf!sans#lust!sans#cross!sans#naur theyre just. dressing up yes totally#was originally just going to be me and red but brain decided 'hey what if u do this pose with TWO MORE people' and uh- oh no whoops#red is a vampire bc i got an anon requesting him as one during halloween last year (yes my inbox is full of old asks yes i feel bad abt it)#lust is a reference to my halloween au with my skelesona and lust!! :) (temporarily called ghost bride au)#it was born when i decided to draw lust dressed up as a ghost and it started from thereee<3#cross is based off of inkz's werewolf cross art (but i made him shorter here and kinda sitting down if u can tell 💀💀💀)#and little 'blue' riding hood bc a friend drew both my self-insert and skelesona as one for a cute halloween group pic years ago 💙💙#if i tried to fit both dream and error in here that would be SIX people in one drawing and i would like to avoid going insane pls n ty
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leon's breathing while there's an enemy nearby.
#turned off all other sounds and only had voices on#was previously recording verdugo's overgrown insectoid cat purring#which admittedly i find quite relaxing too lmao#then i thought#hey maybe i should check what sorta noises leon's making on idle right now#it's quite relaxing too#but u can also tell he's trying to stay calm and keep his breathing slow and quiet#ur doing great sweetie#re4 remake#re4r leon#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy
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shout out to tinkys horrible rotting fursuit hes so silly. i like to think theres a corpse in there that hes piloting around ^-^
#my art#fanart#starkid#team starkid#time bastard#tinky#tnoy karaxis#t'noy karaxis#can u tell ive been insane and experimental about my art lately#idk#hey fun lil fact. i actually have a. fear of goats?? this is exposure therapy for me#im sorry this has become a hatchetfield blog lately except SIKE im not sorry this is my house i do what i want#i prommy pokey portrait is coming
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a wizard and her paramour
#ayda aguefort#my beloved#figueroth faeth#fig faeth#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high#dimension 20#dropout#d20 fanart#ribbittrobbit#i was thinking of spacing out these posts#but thats some dumb social media strategy thinking leftover from my brainrot from instagram#where my online presence is careful and calm and /curated/#here i do what i fucking want#and what i want is for u to behold ayda aguefort in her glory#i love designing tattoos and adding piercings wherever i can#should have given her a nose ring in hindsight#but hey#next time
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"I think this is the most inhuman; and human, that I've ever felt.."
MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR. IN FIVE YEARS. A DECADE. imagine how much can happen in a century. just ONE (1). How will you grow? what phases do you find? even in 5 years, you will find patterns.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi the suckening#arthur bennett#HEY SO THE REALLY FUNNY THING THAT THE CHARACTER DID THAT SEEMED RLY SILLY N GOOFY IN THE MOMENT?#LIKE THE WHIPLASH BETWEEN SERIOUS N SILLY ALMOST PISSED YOU OFF? WHAT IF I FOUND A WAY TO MAKE YOU SAD ABOUT IT#this was meant to be a scribble that would be a bigger part of a bigger page.might leave it on that page.#but still. bc o that i nearly posted it onto my wacky side blog.BUT NAYY I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME N ENERGY N YOU GOTTA SEE IT#ARTHUR BENNETT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I FEEL LIKE ITS ODD FOR HIM TO BE SO TECHNOLOGICALLY OUT OF TOUCH#WHERE HAS HE BEEN. HAS HE BEEN IN WAR? IS THAT WHERE MAGNUS CAME FROM? WHERE WAS HE WHEN HE WAS WITH EDWARDS CREW?#ARTHURRR I HAVE QUESTIONS ARTTHUUURR!! HEY CAN I ALSO ASK; WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BECOME#DO YOU THINK HE HAD ANY IDEA HE WOULD VEER CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MONSTER HE DESPISES. ALL BC HE DESERVES IT. OR WATEVER#HE FASCINATES ME SO MUCH. TO LOOK AT THE STONE COLD STOIC FOOL FROM THE START OF THE SHOW#AND TO FIND OUT THAT HE USED TO BE A BAD BOY.. A DELINQUENT... A LIL PRANKSTER.... MY GODDD THATS ADORABLE#I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW MORE.... BUT I DOUBT THE LAST EPISODE IS GONNA ANSWER THOSE QUESTIONS..i love arthur bennett so much....#AS FOR THE ART!! i mostly used the fire alpaca watercolor brush. tbh im not a brush guy. anti aliased default pen tends to be my main game#but LATELY IM SQQQUIRMIN OUT OF AN ARTBLOCK so expirimenting like this is helping#DONT LOOK TOO HARD AT IT!! im still proud tho. colors are fun :3 im also very proud of the backgrounds#I LOVE THE CARTOON THING where the background looks all fancy n painted but the characters are solid colors#what else can i ramble abt. OH YEAH. i looked up the bikes to make sure they were time accurate tehehehe. 1913 to 2012.#almost a century apart!! isnt that neat? ALSO FUUUCK CAN I JUST MAKE A QUICK CONFESSION. DOWN HERE IN MY TAGS.#only the strongest can read my tags anwyay. SO I REALIZED WHY I LOVE ARTHUR SO MUCH. TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE#while arthur is a Stoic and Cool vampire w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORs#THERE HAPPENS TO BE A ROBOT FROM A BAND W A TITANIUM ALLOY SPINAL COLLUMN#WHOS A Stoic and Cool ROBOT w a knack for being playful/silly; who alsos been alive fora century thus witnessing HORRORS#the fuckkkiiinnngggnn The Spine from steam powered giraffe. WHATEVER. i cant escape from my heart. i guess.#i think The Spine and Arthur could be friends. Arthur saw the band perform back when they were the Steam Man Band#EDIT: WOOPS I DIDNT REALIZE THIS WOULD END UP IN THE SPG TAG. HI GUYS DIDNT KNOW U WERE STILL ALIVE SORREE 4 THE CROSS CONTAMINATION
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guy who keeps being cursed into a timeloop but accidentally solves it on first try every time so he just never notices
#idk what this is#beanstalks#can u tell i'm bored out of my mind at work#i'm literally the only one left what am i doing here#hey boss i'm clocking out early because i'm starting to make stupid no context shitposts again
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okay so you know when takeda manages to get ukai to come watch karasuno play for the first time and kagehina show off their freak quick and ukai is like "sensei how long have those two been paired together" and takeda is like "oh kageyama and hinata? they just met this year i've heard it was rocky at first but they're getting along well now" and ukai is like "what a shame". do you think he goes home and looks into them and finds out that kageyama's the lonely king and that his teammates abandoned him. do you think he looks and looks for hinata but can't find him until finally he stumbles across a no-name school that barely had a volleyball team and their only match lasted 31 minutes. do you think he wonders about how lonely they were. a coach can't replace teammates but do you think he decides to try and make sure that no one on his team feels lonely again.
#hinata shoyo#kageyama tobio#ukai keishin#THAT MOMENT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME LIKE. WHAT A SHAME. UKAI LOOKING AT KGHN AS HE SAYS IT.#i dont even know if it makes sense but like. i was thinking about how ukai does his best to support his boys#like as long as they try he'll try too he'll take them as far as he can as long as they run beside him#but like do you think he looks into the kids and their backgrounds and thinks how can i make this a safe space for them.#do you think that besides his own knowledge of how it felt to be replaced he was worried about isolating suga#do you think he worried about kiyoko and yachi feeling left out#god. im just thinking about ukai and kghn and AUGH i dont even know where im going with this but yeah.#hey yall idk how old this is but i found it in my drafts so congrats! u get it now#lyz speaks
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The best fun of a new year 🎇 HAPPY NEW YEAR
Sometimes I like to take the screenshots i show to my sibling and turn it into a process gif lol.
#battle priest#art#process gif#sparklers#last pic for 2022!#...which i did purely so i could fill out an art summary meme lol#sz#bg music: Thunderstruck AC/DC guzheng cover by Moyun#i apparently did most of my art in aug and then anything after that point was a fluke |D#me: hey me whats a really quick pic u can do in like a day or 2#also me: what about this and u can scream the entire time#on a side note i coloured this in reverse of my usual process#and forgot that i actually dont know how to colour shading first /well/ so there was some faffing about there lol#the last two weeks of the year always like kill me lol
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Happy Halloween!
#digital art#fanart#the owl house#toh#luz noceda#king of demons#king clawthorne#idk if itll be Halloween for everyone when i post this because time zones but hey what can u do#ANYWAY luz dressing up as a witch :)#king has no idea what halloween is but wont say no to free candy
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