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#but here's the thing. im a STUBBORN BITCH
if someone took me into a creepy ass room, hooked me up to a lie detector, blasted projector light right into my eyes and asked me to read an apology statement when i did nothing wrong, i would simply not read it. sorry to helly but i'm different
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freebooter4ever · 1 year
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The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.
#Journal shit#Ah yes the life i gave up to be a grunt 3D generalist working on the lowest of the low entertainment \o/#A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive#And i myself get frustrated at him for being insulting about my general life failure#But like....he has a point#I dont think he needed to treat me like yesterdays trash over it but#He was right i probably should have taken a programming job#But poor dad he got saddled with a child who is stubborn and tragically not financially motivated like at all#I mean he is the exact same damn way i feel like my dad forgets that it was just me and him for four years there#I saw how he lived without certain influences and he did not give a crap about status or money or fancy things#It wasnt until the rich bitch came along and started making him like...update his furniture every few years because *style*#and making him buy new designer coats every year so he doesn't embarrass himself in front of the other volleyball parents#Im just saying prior to the introduction of Steves Wife to our family these things just didnt exist to us#It does greatly entertain me that Steves Wife is not allowed to come to the ohio farm because everybody agreed that she just...#Could Not Handle The Poor#Anyway thats my dads idea of a vacation going to visit grandma on the farm this summer#And two guesses he and grandma will just sit around reading and doing puzzles and watching tennis#Pretty much exactly what i did when i went on vacation to visit her#I want to ask my dad if you think i am a failure what do you think of yourself i am exactly fucking like you for better or worse#Well i mean except i also did a lot of drawing of hockey players and grandma would lean over my shoulder#Saying things like *he looks like a nice young man*#yes grandma and he also racks up the penalty minutes like you wouldnt believe
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trollbreak · 6 months
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Man I need an unhappy but stubborn marriage ship huh
#I was gonna say another one but fluent in violence was just. those bitches clawin at each other lol#it was straightforward#the um. the time enough together build resentment is what I mean. the brief glimmers of adoration and remembering why they signed up for#this. even if they were willing to split up they’d never do it because the public image. the stubborn unbreakable loyalty. nobody else can#touch you but I’ll never give you a soft hand. not except those aching moments where we’re both flayed open and the silence is uncomfortable#because neither of us remembers how to do it. to hold this softness. this care. and then for weeks after they can’t stop thinking about it.#they both crave more of that connection so badly. it’s the sort of relationship where neither of them is necessarily worse than the other#they just. don’t fit together right. but they tried. and they tried. and at some point it became a matter of pride. of ‘um going to Make#this work’. especially if they only got together for social or political purposes or smth. it’s pride on the line and they’d sooner claw out#their teeth than give in now. it’s become a challenge. bend and become something that fits me or break and leave. they’re both so determined#to be the one to hold out in the end that it’s become this self perpetuating thing. you ask them something about one of their lives and they#can both answer it confidently. they know each others lives like the back of their hands. this leads to moments of voices slowly raising#over each other with corrections- although they’d never properly argue here. not with an audience. or it’s a moment of harmony. finishing#each others sentences and falling hand in hand into nostalgia. they each want the other to give in SO badly. they’re never going to ask it.#if they did end up going their own ways. there would be hurt feelings. but they would still care about each other. they’d be better friends#than they ever were as a couple but they refuse to consider that. do u SEE WHAT IM SAYING#< found that one playlist again
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kulliare · 1 year
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trying to not rage over the fact that inevitably i will be asked how my break went and then being unable to say that my grandpa died and i will have to swallow it down like everything else
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ienvieu · 2 years
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god i am so fucking frustrated
#80% of being the oldest sister of a bunch of immature stubborn bitchy siblings is crying your anger away in secret#damned if you try damned if you dont i am sick of it#berated for complaining even just a little and scolded when i decide not to share my struggles anymore like ffs pick your damn mind#compared to cousins compared to neighbors compared to random kids on the internet compared to their younger selves god i just.#and then they go and ask how my day has been and how im feeling gtfo i dont want that#either disown me and hate me or whatever or actually listen to me and not undermine everything i try to do#just pick a fucking side i HATE it when people demonize me and then smother me back to back#like i dont want to sound this whiny but god i wish they'd miscarried me too???#man i sound like a total bitch rn lol idk i just want to leave#i can never seem to win#they dont let me express my exhaustion and anger and sadness and frustration and then they go ahead and wonder why this girl is#acting distant or passive agressive or why she keeps fracturing or bruising her knuckles or why she keeps biting her nails and#chewing on her lips and picking at her skin and just fucking lose it all the damn time#nothing i do is enough i just dont want to be here and i want to leave and take a break for a while but nooo that would make me#a family hater 🥴🥴#and i dont even hate them i just cant stand the way they treat me all the time#i get so confused one minute she's telling me how bad i am and telling me that im wrong and wrong and wrong and how i cant do this#or that or how she used to be so much better than i am now and whatever#and the next she and i are sitting in the kitchen laughing about some random thing#i HATE that. idc if that's oh a 'normal mother daughter relationship' and 'everyone experiences it' and how 'it will pass'#well it hasnt passes and it's been years and im tired of this back and forth and constantly being shamed and i want out. just. out.#and when i tried gathering the courage to tell them i wanted a therapist to talk to she was like ' oh that's expensive and you dont even#look like you need one but if you insist we can pay for it ☹️👉👈 it's okay we will work extra hard to get the money 😖'#fuck that#thanks for once again making me feel like utter shit for asking for some help. again.#which brings me to my next point which is why the FUCK do we have to pay 50 fucking euroes for an hour of therapy??#i can get all of the validation and grounding techniques off the internet for free why the fuck do we need to pay 50€ for talking??#and like mental health is so stigmatized still with my family and my closer friend's family that we both cant tell them anything about it#girlie got clinical depression and she doesnt want to tell her parents bc she knows how they will react#and we both spend nights cry laughing about the fact that i have scars all over me that my parents dont have a single fucking clue about
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m0e-ru · 1 year
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losing the idgaf war
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#kommento#// playing spltoon flopping at every level and dying yelling TAKE MEEE take my brain and cradle it nicely take me into your care#// successfully fading into obscurity because im not necessarily popular nd slandering my own name further so it's smeared in history books#// and my legacy dies an untimely death if I ever had one and leave nothing behind and this gas station dissappears into the fog#// that I couldn't be the one in people's mouths when they think about this One Guy that I was no competition to anyone else#// in this so-called 'community' that was so hostile and volatile to me because I had standards and I projected too hard for my own good#// not that ive been badgered or hurt or maimed or anything i dont think i would even still be in this hellhole if that ever were the case#// but im in this specific pocket of fndom are full of freaks and i want to appease most of them and make a name for myself#// —ambitious i know— majority of these people ARE freaks and so the people who are popular ARE freak themselves#// so techincally im trying to appeal to three people but i want more when it's technically not possible#// and im a little bitch so i hate the turnout ?? this is why i'll never be satisfied in here but ive been still kicking crying and going#// i wish i wasnt a hater i wish the things i dont want to see werent so physically revolting that my heart sinks and i see red#// i wish it was a more minor thing where im a hater for about 50% of it and i can Easily Dismiss it#// than hatership being a part of my personality#// that I've earned so little and lost so much but everyone and everything that I've loved is so genuine and real and too much#// that the stakes of doing something is so high like it's gambling itself that I'm not too sure I'm satisfied with my time here#// despite all the things I believed were good that's happened already#// that if I leave right now on the fickle decisiveness of the squirrel in my brain there would be things on this figurative bucket list I#// never have accomplished and I'm not too sure I can come back to do it because of my home that looks like war trenches itself#// all this time and love I've put into this world and I'm stubborn and selfish enough to believe I have not received what I am due#// and that this love and dedication was never received by enough people as I perceive#// sorry for being a baby's first but my time here in this pit of hell has been th absolute worst and most horrid of other fndoms I've been#// and while I practice the inherent belief I am the scum of the earth and the worst person alive#// and that I leave the things I love so much behind with wordless and meaningless abandonment#// I've made so much and shared so much that enough of my love was perceived by others and that#// I've at least left myself some things behind even if it has never reached others the way I humbly wished it to#// lmao like I'm writing an overly dramatic resignation letter and I leave it front desk and when I exit the building it#// either completely disappears behind me or keeps standing but stay unmaintained for the duration I'm gone#// people could still come and go or I could make it disappear myself. I think I've done a good job at making it easy to do that#// sorry for being dramatic ? idk how to give closure on this if the time ever comes or if this Is The Closure
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z0mb13-b0y-m4t30 · 3 months
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LUCIFER X DOM READER (reader has a cock)
Hello pervs, it's been a fat second since I've really posted anything. Which I hope I've gotten slightly better since than - reading my slightly older posts on here are so messy and disorganized.
So I've resorted to porn without much plot (pwmp) I think I'll start doing this more often than not because im not the greatest at storyline writing. Unfortunately I've been hooked on this godforsaken app for 2 days straight and I'm motivated as FUCK rn, so let's do this.
You
Lucifer
CW; Dom reader, reader has a dick/strap-on, Lucifers a whiney little bitch, nipple play, readers kind of sadistic(?), choking, belly bulge, size kink, creampie, petnames, lucifers kinda Pervy, degrading, readers kinda Pervy too.
🍎✨
You've been apart of the hazbin hotels staff for awhile now, being with her since the beginning, so finding out she decided to have to dad come over for the first time was a bit confusing - since when did he have time for her?
The whole entrance of her father was a bit dramatic and over the top as a whole musically charged argument between Lucifer and alastor happened.
Although...while Lucifer was here you couldn't help but notice him sneaking glances at you, his eyes wondering over your body without shame, you've caught him looking below your belt a few times, not complaining though, having a dilf check you out wasn't a bad thing, you couldn't help but wonder a few things.. like him on his knees sucking your big cock while he chokes on it, with teary eyes, knowing he's getting off on it aswell.
Through Lucifers eyes - he couldn't stop looking at you, you were so much more taller than him, the fact you tower and loom over him...fuck it turned him on so much. Just knowing you could pick him up and use him as a toy for your own pleasures made it all the more exhilarating.. although his pride and stubbornness would never allow him to admit that out loud...but he just couldn't help but to wonder how'd it feel to be underneath you while you fuck him dumb.
Speaking of him looking at you..you were sleeping in your bed, you lived in the hotel as well as the other staff. You kept waking up with a paranoid feeling but you shrugged it off as you couldn't care less, this was hell, your always being watched by your past mistakes anyways. But..no, it was him, Lucifer, watching you through the crack in the door, his red pupil being barely visible as he gently opened the door.
He quietly entered the room as he locked the door behind him with a small ‘click’. He sauntered to the side of your bed as he stared down at you with a lidded look. He had a wet dream about you..of course he did..he's a dirty whore who hasn't had sex in a while..let alone with a guy so when he felt himself lusting after you..he needed to fill that need. He gently palmed himself through his pants as he stared down at your sleeping form, soft grunts and moans left his pump lips as his cheeks flushed slightly.
Just then you blinked a few times as you slowly woke up, feeling paranoid once again, Lucifer on the other hand swiftly moved his hand away from himself as he just stood there. You looked up at him as you raised an eyebrow, his flushed face and glazed over eyes caused you confusion.
"Dude- what the hell are you doing?? It's like 4am." You glared tiredly at him as you weren't really shocked..just confused if Anything. What's this twink doing in YOUR room this late?
Lucifer flinched a bit as his usual wide grinned masked his embarrassment - he then replied in a slightly sheepish tone, "I just ..wanted to check up on you..make sure your doing okay and all..is it so bad i wanted to check in on my .. favorite guy ever?"
He played it off in a friendly tone as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at you, his eyes never leaving your as you sat up in bed..that made his eyes leave yours, is gaze followed down to your exposed chest as the blanket slid down your torso, the thin blanket covering your lap and leaving a soft outline of your dick, why should you care? Your dick pics are surrounding the Internet (by choice) and plus! It's late, your tired.
He bit his lip as he shamelessly stared at that outline before he snapped his gaze back up to yours, you raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him and rolled your eyes, "seriously? I have a hard time believing that, what do you actually want."
Lucifer realized this wouldn't go anywhere unless he initiated it, he put his hand on your cheek and leaned in just a bit, "..I've been .. watching you and thinking about you..I had a dream about you and all..I just wanted to see you." He answered truthfully but his trembling tone made you believe there was more than just an innocent dream that made him wanna see you.
"Really hm? What typa' dream? Wet dream?" Your eyebrows raised in amusement as you felt more awake, a small smirk made a way to your lips as you stared at him expectantly, you knew you were right, your not an idiot - you can tell who's being a horny fuck underneath.
A small blush crept onto his face as he chuckled gently, his hand still on your cheek as he mumbled a small, “Maybe…” His eyes were starting to roam around the room, checking everything from his side as if he was thinking of something. “..You do look ..tempting, you know.”
His finger hooked around the thin blanket covering your lap as he went to pull his down just a bit to tease himself like the masochistic bitch he is. His face flushed once more as your felt yourself getting aroused by this sudden advancement.. Lucifer couldn't help but wonder how you'd feel inside him, hitting his prostate and making him cum an unholy amount of times...god that made his dick twitch as he looked back into your eyes,
"I..I need you so bad."
That's how you got here. He's underneath you as you kiss his jawline, your lips trailing down to his neck as you bit into his soft flesh, leaving a mark as you did so, he let out a moan that made your dick twitch so good,
"A-Ahh! Oh Fuck your gonna-..I'm gonna oh- please..no..no more teasing please..ohgodohgod.."
you couldn't help but feel the need to ruin him. Your fingers gently pinched his nipple before your lips trailed down his collarbone to his chest as your tongue swirled around his sensitive nipple - earning a moan from him.
"Pleaseplease! sir..I need you so so bad..please...AH- oh fuck!" He whined, his back arched as you bit down gently on his sensitive bud, it caught him off guard as your hand trailed down to his boxers, your finger hooked around his waistband before pulling back and letting go - letting it snap against his hip, a sharp hiss left his lips as he felt that slight pain. "Please! Oh god I think- I think I'm gonna-"
You smirked at him approaching his orgasm just from some touches from your tongue and hands.
"no no.. sweetheart, were just getting started and your already so riled up.." You smirked as your eyes lidded into a smug grin, "Look at you.. already a mess underneath me..I'll be sure to punish you for sneaking into my room all because of some dirty fantasy you had of me..how perverted of you, luci."
Lucifer groans softly as his dick twitched uncontrollably just from your words and sexy voice..he was so turned on, “please... Stop. Don't... I'll do anything, just please-please! Oh fuckfuck.....” Everything you're giving is making him crazy. He is losing control every second.
“Y-You're making me crazy....”
Your smirk widened almost sadistically as you tilted your head, "awe..look at you, baby...how pathetic." You grinned down at him, you wanted to make him cry and loose his mind, "Crazy.. already? Your so sensitive..at this rate you'll be a blubbering incoherent mess the time I'm done with you."
Lucifer groans as he clutches your poor sheets tightly. The way you're making him feel, oh boy it's too much! He feels himself hanging on by a thread and you've only just started. "Please... I'm barely hanging on, just give me a break." He breathes heavily as all of those kisses and bites are making him crazy, and all he can do are these pathetic whines.
"hmmm no..now that wouldn't be too fun..now would it?" You ripped his boxers off almost immediately, you were already naked and now he was too, god he looks so pretty so needy..his bruised porcelain skin making it hard for you to hold back. "God your so pathetic.. its like you want me to overstimulate you like the whore you are."
Lucifer's body shuddered at the touch. Oh, this is just unbelievable. He was actually getting desperate for you now. You could tell he was at his breaking point. Lucifer was breathing heavily from all the arousal and the pleasure you were giving him, as he was unable to say a single word.
"I... i-i Can't... Take... It.. Anymore..please sir I need you..I need you in me so so..deep."
Please let me cum in you..was all you could think, you absolutely need to be in him but your holding back for the sake of teasing him, "Hmm? And who came into my room? Who made the first move?~ can't back out now Sweetheart..you know you want me to use you like a toy..I see the way you look at me like the pervert you are.."
Lucifer is breathing heavily. Every single move you're making is driving him crazy, he is a total mess right now, and he is loving every single second of it. "You... don't... understand... What... you're... doing... t'me... Please.." His hands grip the sheets tightly almost ripping them as he tries so hard to be in control but this feels good, way too good.
"good boy-.." you spit on your middle finger and pointer finger as you went to prep him but before you did, your eyebrows raised in slight amusement and surprise, your smirk widened as you held his hip and thigh so he couldn't squirm away from you, "..did you already prep yourself? ..Did you expect me to do this too you, slut?"
Lucifer's cheeks turned even brighter red at that revelation. He couldn't speak as he continued to squirm, his breathing was heavy, but he wasn't struggling anymore. His body was letting all of these feelings flow through. Lucifer's whole body was twitching slightly, as his whole body was so close to being overwhelmed. He bit his lip once again, he was trying so hard... "Yes... I did expect.."
"god your really a slut for me, huh." Your grip on him tightened as your smirk widened, your eyes narrowed as he looked down at you..that pleading look in his teary eyes turned you on beyond belief,
"You think you can handle me?"
"I.... I-I think I can, b-but..." He moaned and whined as his mind was absolutely overwhelmed, as you had now completely taken control over him. Lucifer was now fully under your grasp and there was nothing he can do about it. He was yours and all yours to claim. "I.. Will be a good... Slut... For you..."
Your hand snaked up his torso as you wrapped your hand around his throat, applying a bit of pressure as his breath hitched, a jolt went through his whole body as you applied that pressure to his throat. His breathing became more shallow as his heart was pounding in his chest.
It felt like his whole body was being overwhelmed right now, but at the same time, it felt so good. Lucifer's eyes locked with yours, as you can see that he's trying very hard to just relax, to just surrender and let you have your way so you could penetrate him without much problem..you lifted his thigh and placed it over your shoulder as you aligned your dick with his hole, precum flowing out of both of your cocks. With that - you pushed into his eager hole going around halfway as Lucifer moan loudly,
"Ahh! Ahh- oh- goddamnit! Ahh, what the FUCK?! Your huge!" He groaned and moaned as he squirmed at the sudden feeling of you entering him,
"shhh ..shhh..relax sweetheart..I'm only halfway in." You kissed his cheek which was a drastic change from your previous behavior although it did work in calming him down, this was all Lucifer could hope for...sorta, when he heard you were only halfway in he felt himself feel a tad bit of fear.
Lucifer's eyes widen and his body starts trembling a bit. You can easily tell that the sensation is too intense for him to handle right now. His breathing is shallow and you can see he is a total mess right now. His grip on the sheets are all that seems to be holding him to one place at the moment, "holy fuck I'm gonna die...your gonna kill me.."
"oh don't be so dramatic." You pushed in all the way as a bulge was prominent in his lower stomach from you going balls deep within him, your dick hitting his prostate as his walls clenched around your cock as you let out a quiet groan, you rubbed his hips as you continued. both of you felt so much pleasure it was so so good..
His whole body is trembling as his breath catches. His eyes roll to the back of his head as he moans loudly. His grip on the sheets are now tightening, his teeth are clenched as he tries to remain conscious. He looks at you with shaky eyes, his cheeks flushed and sweaty. A sudden jolt went through his body in that moment. He is just losing it at this point, his mind is blank with no actual thoughts other than this. Every single movement of yours felt like an overwhelming feeling and his body was responding to that. His fingers were digging deep into the sheet while his whole body quivered with pleasure.
You started to thrust in and out of him deeply, hitting his prostate as he moaned relentlessly, "ah! Ah! Ah! Goddamnitttt- fuck! Fuck! Don't- don't stop-" his eyes rolled back, he looked so pretty - tears streaming down his cheeks, his puffy lips pink and his face was red as you wrapped your hand around his throat, pounding into his slutty man cunt, giving him no time to take a breath. He came in which you chuckled, "awe... already? Did my slut already cum?"
He choked out a sob as you continued to hit his prostate repeatedly, your hand only applied more pressure on his pretty throat as he moaned and whimpered, "plea- Ohhhuh!..can't..can..sooo..i can't; I can't ..take it sir.." his speech was slurred as you didnt have any remorse.
"too bad. We just started."
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squerlly · 3 months
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flames of desire chapter 7: setting it off
Alastor x (f! bunny reader) -NSFW-TW: mentions of rape
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your POV:
"cmon relax I can make you enjoy my company in more ways then one~" with the snap of his finger the girls that were once at his side were gone, and it was me, him, and the background noise of the club "so what is a cutie like you doing here alone" "I-I was with angel..." "angel is here? well ill deal with that later, for now~" snaking one of hands on my thighs he inches closer under my dress, using his other hand to take a puff of his pipe, he blows the pink smoke in my face, drool dripping on the corners of his mouth "how about we have some fun yes~?" "wait-" my words are trailed off as I start to feel dizzy, I feel light like I could be blown away by the slightest breath, my body begins to feel hot, really hot "w-what did you do to me...." "oh nothing you wont enjoy" being laid down on the seat my head spins and his hands lift my dress "no- stop!" "don't fight it I know you want to~" no I'm not going to let this happed, come on y/n snap out of it!!, grabbing his hands I push him off "No I wont" frustrated he yanks me forward pinning me, my chest pressed against the seat "damn you stubborn bitch!" "NO get off of me!!!" after a while of struggling somebody pulls me up, everything went silent, no people just music. opening my eyes there's a hand around my waist, looking up its Alastor?! what the hell is he doing here!!
Alastors POV:
when my shadow informed me that valentino was at the club and with her I rushed there, were the fuck was angel, why isn't he with her!!! barging in the club everybody moves out of my way as I storm past the crowd seeing valentino on her. I rush to grab her up pulling her dress back down "valentino, I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut this short" "alastor, what are you doing here!" valentino said through gritted teeth, I tried my best not rip all four of his arms off right then and now, maybe later...."I'm afraid your messing with something that's mine" "uh huh ho does this little conejita have a contract with you" "no but that doesn't give you permission to touch her without permission!" "if she doesn't belong to you, then she free game~" "you wont dare if you value your life!" by now my patients is running thin "I'm taking her and if you ever lay a finger on her you will never see that finger again!!" picking her up I walk of with her in my arms, the poor thing was shaking and she smells of alcohol, surly drunk "this isn't over Alastor I will get her eventually!!!!" ignoring Valentinos yelling I head out of the club, outside was a very panicked angel.
your POV:
I have a terrible headache, I'm cold and I cant think straight what the fuck is happening, being carried I look up at Alastor he looked pissed, angry, the static radiating off of him was loud but he was gentle, like he was holding a piece of glass. angel ran over "Y/N!! there you are, iv been looking every wear for ya!! what happened" as angel reached out to touch me Alastor pulled back "angel you said valentino wasn't supposed to be there" "he wasn't h-he was supposed to be filming with the others back at-" "well he wasn't, and because of your carelessness valentino got his hands on y/n" angel turning his attention to me "he didn't hurt ya did he, y/n are you alright!?" "no angel I'm-" "he almost did, I'm taking her back, this will never happen again"
back at the hotel we walked through he doors, Charlie and vaggie waiting for us "Y/N!!! oh my Satan are you ok, we saw Al running out of the doors in a hurry" how did he know I was in trouble..."I'm alright Charlie I promise" "what happened!" "unfortunately valentino was at the club and angel lacking in supervision lost her, letting valentino take his chance" "Voy a matarlo! (im gonna fucking kill him)" "I got there just in time" "thankfully she's ok, you guys are ok..." "I'm gonna...I'm gonna go change"
walking out of the lobby Alastor follows close behind me "what are you doing.." "making sure you get back to your room" "why" "do I need a reason?" "no but can you explain how the hell you knew I was in trouble!" he pauses for a moment stopping in the hallways by my door "I was watching you.." "why are you stalking me" "because angel is carless and I was just being cautious!" "ok but you didn't have to be so mean to angel he was just-" "just what!?, explain to me my dear what do you think would have happened if I wasn't watching you, angel couldn't saved you because he was to busy fooling around" "why do you care!" "what do you mean why do I care" "the radio demon a mercy less overlord who was known for his broadcasted carnage over hell, heartless, and terrifying so why... why are you so concerned for me, I mean nothing to you, you follow me around give me weird looks, vaggie told me about you, told me to stay away..." "I don't know, I don't understand why..." looking up his smile is almost none existent, his eyes are dark as he look at me, the radio static in his voice was gone, just his plane old voice "I though my interest was just playful amusement, to toy around a bit, but the more I know about you, your smile your laugh that dress, it irks me, this feeling... I-I don't know what you did!" "Alastor-" "I would kill a demon for even looking at you funny!, I never cared about some lowly sinner...but I care about you, you have me rapped around your little finger and you don't even know it" all this time I though he wanted to kill me, even eat me or something but I never realized "Alastor.." I huff out a small laugh "what's so funny..." "I didn't put a spell on you, or curse you, or anything" grabbing his hand "this is all you and its completely normal" bringing my hand up to cup his cheek he leans in to the touch "don't look at me like that, you did something and I know it.." he mutters as I lean in closer, hunching over he leans in breaking the distance into a soft kiss pulling me closer. once I pulled away, looking at him I smile "I don't think I will ever understand this feeling but...I will try my best to show you how I feel" bringing my hand to his lips he places a soft kiss "goodnight my dear and get some much needed rest~" "goodnight Alastor"
I hope you enjoyed and I love you guys so much for the love and support have a wonderful day/night!!!
-squerlly
@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz
for more content or chapter please click this masterlist
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blingblong55 · 11 months
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Sweet Nothing- Rodolfo Parra (includes Philip Graves)
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Based on a request:
Look, as much as I love Philip Graves, he gives off jackass bitch energy. So, he leads on the reader (who's just fuckin adorable, wife energy, protect this one for the rest of your life vibes) before leaving them after a one night stand and then they meet again years later and reader changed into a badass boss bitch dommy mommy you'd wanna tap but she's fucking hostile af. Also dating Rudy, cuz Rudy's the only man who deserves to score a pre-Graves reader. Idk, im in my "fuck me up and you're next" era
A/N: Someone said I should use the lyrics of Sweet nothing, so...here it goes
F!Reader, fluff, angst, soldier! reader
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings Outside, they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen humming
7 years ago, a few of your comrades and you had a huge victory. You all went to celebrate out by a local pub. It was fun, the drinks, the stories, laughs, the stupid songs you'd all sing, and then the stupid mistake of letting Graves take you home. You had a crush on him before, how when he smiles he would do so to the side. The way his hair was always well groomed and how his cologne never changed. You noticed his American southern accent, getting rougher when he was drunk like this. The way his hands wandering your thighs or back. So for you it was a dream to even have him offer himself to you.
If you can describe yourself from 7 years ago, you'd call her "sweet, innocent, caring, bubbly, and loving", and all that is true, well was true. The night with Philip was great, the way he assured you all night in bed that he'd take care of you. How his lips met yours, how he kissed you with so much delicateness it felt beautiful. "al'right, sweet thing, just close your eyes and rest now." Your head rested on his chest, his hand drawing small circles on your back. You felt content in his arms.
By morning, instead of waking up to him by your side, it was just you. A note and nothing else.
"That was fun, but just a one time thing:) -take care, Philip Graves"
You never knew it'd be just a one night stand with him, you'd expect more. Back then, you were only a 22 year old, still learning and understanding much of the military. You trusted him with your body that night, a innocent girl, not knowing she'd be robbed from something she held dear to her, her own young heart on a platter, eaten by the man Philip was.
By some miracle, a commander in Mexico had seen your work for Shadow company. Alejandro Vargas, a major at the time of him recruiting you and his friend, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, a captain at the time. Graves let you go, knowing that you'd ask for more and he was not wiling to give. In all honesty, after you left, he talked about his time with you, made fun of you the weeks after it had happened.
After that night with Philip and how he belittled you, even if he didn't know, you promised you'd never let that happen to you. All the men that approached you were quickly turned down. You only gave time to your job, training and to yourself. You treated men like the scum of the earth.
Belittled them if they ever spoke about you. "I'd shut it, because you are nothing more than a worthless, good for nothing piece of ass." All men at some point feared you, not making advances on you, except for one.
Rudy, although rejected by you more than 19 times, always came back. He never cared if you degraded him with your lemon filled words. He loved you for it, loved how you never spoke bad of yourself, standing tall and proud. Alejandro tried to tell him to stop pursuing you, but he is stubborn as he is cute.
With him, you were always more soft. Although at times you'd say mean things to him, you were never too mean. Because in him, you found your old self coming back. Begging to be let out, because all you wanted to do was cuddle with him, listen to his problems, kiss him, adore his very soul.
And to be honest, he worshipped the ground you walk on. He didn't care that he was a higher rank than you, no, he always said. "Yes ma'am", "No, ma'am", "Sorry ma'am", "You look beautiful/perfect, ma'am". In his eyes, you deserved all the shiniest of things this world could offer.
He loved how you would yell at rookies, but the second you saw a puppy, you'd turn all soft and would pet it for a long time. How one time he saw you baking and dancing to a melody in your head. Your puppy eyes when you would see a something adorable.
One night, there you were, ready to hop on your motorcycle when he approached. "R/N, uhm...do you mind if maybe this Sunday me and you can maybe....I dunno, go on a date?"
You see, the reason why he asked you on a Sunday and not on a Friday or Saturday was because he heard you sing a song to yourself.
"I want a Sunday kind of love, A love to last past Saturday night, And I'd like to know it's more than love at first sight, And I want a Sunday kind of love" Your voice soft like a whisper.
"Sunday...time?"
His face lit up, in a way for him, this was you agreeing, "6 am, ma'am." he happily responded. You were confused, why would he want a date on a Sunday at 6 in the goddamn morning?
"I was thinking breakfast by the lakes...maybe you'd like that," he answered as if he was listening to your thoughts, he paused and looked at you, "Or whatever time, all I want is to spend time with you."
A light red hue on your cheeks, there it was. The old you, feeling excited because for the first time in years, you were validated as more than just a 'one time thing', seen by him for you. You nod, "very well-"
"I'll pick you up?"
"I don't see why not."
You put her helmet on, going for the typical night ride. Funny enough, he was the guy who would race you any chance he got. You of course never knew, but he did. Wanted to spend time with you in whatever way he could, so, he learned from Alejandro how to ride one.
During the date, he was so nervous, he completely forgot his Spanish and English. Giggled as he tried to compose himself for you, you took his hand, "Just one work at a time, I promise to listen." the way you said it and carried it, was a different side of you, the old you.
"Eres hermosa, la mas bella." he cups your face, looks you in the eyes and smiles. You'd learn Spanish for him after months of dating, but in this moment, when you barely spoke the language, you understood the meaning. Skin melted on his hands, turning into mush, he leaned in, kissed your forehead and then looked you in the eyes.
"Thank you, for giving me this chance."
Soon after that, you went on more dates, Sunday dates. Always by the lake, eating, laughing and at times, he'd chase you into the water. Both laughing, being the sweetest of creatures.
6 years after that first date, you and him celebrated your engagement, Alejandro being asked to be the best man. While everyone had seen your cold hearted side, he saw you, the woman he'd be waiting for at the end of the isle. His favourite melody, the girl who made him soup, stayed up all night understanding the video game he was enraged by, taking classes to speak to your in-laws in their language. Wearing that sundress and although you weren't religious, attended church with his mum, grandma and him.
4 months after he had proposed to you, thats when you met 141 and Shadow Company. Graves introduced himself, once he spotted you in the room, he stopped, "-any...ways, it's a pleasure to meet y'all." He nodded to himself and walked to where you were. Alejandro ran through the plan.
"You look beautiful, sweet thing-"
You raised a finger to him, "I don't let dogs speak to me." Rudy heard it, chuckled to himself. He was happy, a part of him was always protective of you, wanted to be selfish and have you to him. So knowing you were still like this with other men made him glad. Now that he was on the good side of your actions, he didn't know if you still spoke like that to other men.
Graves was....mad...? He noticed how you changed, how you looked healthier, happier and that stupid fucking diamond ring. He did love how much your body had changed, how your curves become more prominent, your hair longer, the same body he was once all over was...sexier, appealed to his needs for sure.
And then after the meeting, he saw you hand in hand with Rudy. Your cold gaze now soft, you blushing and admiring your boyfriend. Rudy kisses your cheek which caused you to look away blushing. Although you were dating him, it was as if you were a school girl, crushing on a celebrity, gushing over him.
Rudy was always the one, that was clearly known. Graves will now forever hold his peace, as the girl that treated him with love and respect was now with another. You'd be the bride and he would never be the groom who gets to call you his.
His lost was and is clear to be Rudy's gain.
Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it
Tags: @anonymuslydumb
A/N: checking my inbox and I just realised I have request from back in may....sorry...I'll get to those, I promise
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ghostykapi · 1 year
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ruination and breakfast
im nayeon & idol!fem reader // filth <3 minors dni
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had it been another day, you would probably reject her advances for the nth time. had it been another hour, you would have averted your gaze from the woman that resides in the deepest part of your heart. had it been another minute, then you would have been sleeping soundly in your cozy bed.
it wasn't another second though that did you find yourself mewling and grasping her clothes, with primal desperate need to be claimed. her teeth finding it's way to your neck and her hands tearing apart your clothes on her bed.
pause.
how the fuck did you get here?
it's no secret that you're one of the more outspoken idols, the lack of head to mouth filter making you constantly the topic of how the industry is changing. you find your name trending at least once a week for something you said in an interview or with those stupid stalkers following your life around.
some say you're one of the horrible ones who bring the bad image of an idol, because idols were supposed to be prim, proper and quiet. you loved to be messy and outspoken just to piss them off, your words ready to send someone in another childish fit of rage in social media.
some praise you for who you be with or without a camera, people constantly reporting on what you do or say. you knew that well and grasped that concept well, so you constantly used it to help amplify not your voice but others with your influence.
that's what the public thinks, what about the industry?
oh that's another whole situation that brings your head into another headache spiral. so you refuse to think about it for more than a minute
but you can’t deny the small amount of idols you actually managed to befriend with your demeanor. maybe you need too lose the rest bitch face, but that’s what got a couple of other people clinging onto you like they’re your golden retrievers and you’re the black cat
take your friend rosé from blackpink as a good example. you swear she was probably tipsy or something when she managed to mistake you for lisa and talked your ear off that night. that was the start of your blooming friendship with the four piece group.
another example was when you were younger, in the last stretch of your training years you met yeri of red velvet. she managed to convince you to stay true to your outspoken personality and to help her shop for clothes. both worked and now she’s one of the only people who can drag you out of bed and into another outing.
you also ended up befriending itzy’s youngest, sweet sweet yuna who you help in practicing her dance routines. sure you were a bit scary when you started to help her but you never really pushed her boundaries or scolded her like the previous ones who did, so she ended up getting close to you within the next couple of months. next thing everyone knew, both of you would always go to arcades together during her free days.
so the industry didn’t all hate you, but it was still shocking to many to see only so much people that are friends, or even acquaintances with you.
that's not a shock to you. the only shock [and the source of your daily annoyance] you have had in this industry is a persistent twice member who won't back down.
even after the hundreds of rejections over the months for something more than friendship, she's always within your earshot, her laugh bouncing off the walls of wherever you two can possibly meet. her texts flooding your phone more than your own manager. her gifts always making it's way to your front door of your apartment, which you refuse to acknowledge to her, that brings a smile to your face.
you know you can’t handle it anymore so that’s why it’s true that im nayeon is a force to be reckoned with. that's why tonight you managed to crack from your stubbornness as she finally managed to slither into your heart.
it was another idol's party, which you were invited too as a plus one by yeri. she had told you last minute by barging into your apartment, ruining your homeboy plans for the day.
"would you like to explain why this is very last minute?" you complained as you fixed up your outfit, all while yeri sits by the bed "i was looking forward to staying home tonight"
"i know you" she's on her phone, snapping pictures to post on her private instagram "you would say no and make 10 other excuses why you don't want to go out, ultimately mute your phone, lock the door and sleep the weekend away before i can convince you otherwise"
"i hate that you're right" you sigh as you smoothed down your skirt, feeling a bit anxious on the party "but do i have to go?"
"yes" yeri deadpans as she stands up, structs over and fixes your crop top "it's been weeks since you've got out of your house. the last time you even did leave the house for not work was for a family errand"
you hum in acknowledgement, twirling around to double check your outfit.
"you look hot but we are running out of time. chop chop let's go" yeri tosses you your bag, drags you out of door and into the night. ready to get drunk and have a good time
you don't mind mingling in the party, but with the way almost everyone had to do a double take when they see you by the door had you wanting to go back home. why bother staying in a party when half of these people probably have assumptions about you?
"yeri!" someone shouts above the music and both of you come face to face with another idol, their energy bouncing off the walls "you made it, and you brought a friend!"
"hi" you coolly state, hand out for a handshake which they gladly take "i'm y/n, yeri's friend"
"minatozaki sana, also yeri's friend" sana’s smile is bright and the mischievous glint is present in her eyes “also im nayeon’s braincell. would you interest in avoiding her or indulging with her blabbering by the living room?”
of course you couldn’t really escape her can you?
“uhm” you hesitate for a moment, eyes looking past sana to see a pair of eyes already staring at you “i don’t think i have a choice”
sana doesn’t even get to ask why when you’re pulled inside, hands on your waist and her smirk making your knees a bit weak
“hi hot stuff, come here often?” nayeon isn’t always this greasy with her pickup lines but with the time you’ve learned about her, she would only say those to you
“only when stubborn people force me to” you reply, eyes taking in her very bold choice of outfit for the night “trying to impress someone im?”
“trying to impress you” she’s so close to your face, and you swear you can kinda smell the booze on her “is it working?”
“barely” you scoff, but she doesn’t take any offense to that, only as a challenge “you have to do better than that to impress me”
“really now?” you don’t really notice it, but she’s got you cornered in an empty hallway that no one is in “what do you propose that i should do then?”
nayeon moves her hands to your shoulders and neck how, tracing random lines and shapes to any open skin she can feel. you can feel you heartbeat racing from this action but your face doesn’t move from a neutral reaction at all
“tell me” she drops her voice to a low purr, which you haven’t heard before, that brings shivers to your back “what can a woman do to make you be impressed hmm?”
you don’t answer her, only looking up to stare into her eyes as a challenge. your hands finding its place on her waist you can feel the exposed skin getting goosebumps from your touch
“tell me baby” her lips are close to yours, only distance between it is by a few centimeters “tell me”
you couldn’t take it anymore, pulling her into a kiss that she’s glad to reciprocate. your walls finally crumbling down as she invades your scenes, while kissing you senseless
and nayeon? she’s on cloud 9 right now finally kissing you after months. yeah she can be annoyingly persistent but she can see that she’s cracking bit by bit to get to you. now she’s got you around her finger, ready to show you what’s she capable to do
“you’re mine now” she whispers into your ear, after dragging you away from the party to her place with two knowing pairs of eyes watching your figures leave “and i’m gonna show you how much i love worshipping a goddess like you”
and when she’s got you underneath her? she’s got your back arched, hands clawing the sheets, thighs shaking and your mouth moaning out profanities.
so yeah that’s how you got there, with nayeon fucking you down into the mattress with her fingers plunging deep inside of you.
“you look so gorgeous for me like this” both of you are already free from any kinds of clothes and your eyes drink on her amazing form that send your mind reeling “so pretty and so ruined”
you can’t reply to her when you can feel her fingers stretch you out from the inside, your thighs twitching from every movement she does.
“sensitive?” you can barely nod when she kisses your cheek and finally pulls out after the two mind blowing orgasms she gave you “maybe we can put your energy into good use for something else”
your eyes perk up with the idea that’s she implying, and you use your arms to lock into her thighs as she carefully sits on you, her center right in front of you
“you know what to do baby” she coos, threading her finger through your hair as you start to eat her out, your arms and hands making sure she just stays right on top of you
it’s heaven when you can hear her moans go into a higher pitch when you suck on her clit or plunge your tongue deep inside of her. you can barely care for the lack of air when you can taste her like this and have her shaking on top of you
“baby” nayeon moans out, lightly tugging on your hair as she grinds onto your face “you’re gonna make me cum”
you can’t help but go faster with that, effectively making her moan and whine even louder as you bring her to the egde. her thighs crushing you a bit as she struggles to stay upright from the feeling
you don’t stop however, your arms still effectively locking her in and bringing her head fast to another orgasm ,that brings out the most profanities you can hear her say.
“sensitive?” you ask from below as you make a show of sucking her clit that brings a jolt of pleasure across her body “good”
“sensitive and spent” she gently pushes your face away from her center and bringing you into a cuddle, feeling the afterglow soak into your skins “you better be ready for the best breakfast you’ll be able to eat tomorrow y/n”
you hum in reply, your arms wrapped around her as you let her tuck her head against your neck “i hope you won’t burn the toast”
“you wound me”
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puck-bunny-for-all · 7 days
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Dawson Mercer H.C
-making up after a fight- and sum more
him smiling (not in a condescending way but like in a im listening and focused on you baby kinda way) while you explain how he hurt your feelings
he probably would be the type of bf who wouldn't want to take any time or space before working things out because youre his EVERYTHING and going to the rink or just walking away would drive him crazy
this man CANNOT play a game if you two haven't made up and the guys know it so they can tell when youre being stubborn
hes def talking to Nico or Jack about what happened bc he doesnt believe that you forgive him
"I'm so sorry my love, I should have never _______"
"Can we talk about it? I want us to grow from this"
Cuddles after talking it out
SMIRKY ASS BITCH WOULD ABSOLUTLEY FUCK U EVEN IF HE IS WRONG OMG
the guys telling him to make up with you already bc he is annoying them with his moping
"Daws can we talk, I know you dont like fighting."
if it was a bad fight and there was any crying on either part y'all are either taking a bath or shower and telling each other all the ways you are complete bc of them
if you guys got in a fight over text hes gonna excuse him self from the locker room and sort it out before he joins the practice
Dawson is not rude or condescending but he will let you know when youre out of line
"You know I love you more than breathing, but that was so not ok with me."
at the end of the day Dawson seems like he doesnt like to be in any sort of confrontation with anyone important in his life soooo he would do everything he could to avoid fighting in the first place
AN : ok hi here this is sorry it sucks but hope u like.
Tags : @lukey-pookie-hughes43 and @skylershines
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milk-ducts · 6 months
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I'm so glad to have encountered a fellow Cecil stan. I freaking love coming up with headcanons for Cecil, platonic or romantic, because he's such an interesting character. For real though feel free to dump any Cecil headcanons (platonic or romantic) on me anytime.
AWAAAA!! YES HAII OTHER CECIL AFICIONADO !!! im so glad theres more of us sprouting out here. my wife is so underappreciated, you have no idea how much he means to me. i'd love to req n swap headcanons anytime !! I have so many thoughts on that morally ambiguous gilf.
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[messy, disorganized surface level autism rambling ahead. this will be just random scenes and characteristics i like of him]
BUT YES .. cecil's character is just so interesting to analyze. he does unethical, necessary things. But he doesn't subscribe to idealistic notions of "the greater good" or justifying his actions to make himself sleep better at night. He knows the harsh reality that someone has to make the difficult decisions, no matter how unethical. The psychological toll it takes to calculate how many civilian lives can be spared, and how many are inevitably lost in order to achieve the optimal outcome. He doesn't celebrate after victories like the other heroes do. After the dust settles, his mind is already racing - calculating, strategizing how to prevent future catastrophes. How to minimize casualties next time.
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his methods are...questionable,, as ive said,, but there's a hint of nobility to it that just makes you respect him, A SHADY GOVERNMENT CHAR that does the dirty work and takes in all the heat for it so no one else has to? SIGN ME TF UP! i love exploring his character and all the little glimpses of humanity we get to see from him,, especially with debbie, SO SOFT FOR HER, there's so much depth there. that old fuck would MOVE mountains for her if he could,, TRUST. EVEN though he doesnt deserve her .. <<
LETS CONTINUE TO CIRCLE BACK TO S1 with his confrontation w Nolan in the desert, the way he entrusted his survival to the skills of his team operating that teleporter watch (I'm aware he can control it himself, I think this was just my interpretation of it since the employees seemed directly involved here). The margin for error was nonexistent. One miscalculation, one millisecond too slow, and Cecil would have been reduced to a red smear across miles of sand. MY WIFE HAS BALLS ON HIM. (also love walton goggins breathy lil giggles here .. hwaghffhh)
All this, All the whilst Nolan could have ended him with a casual backhand, as easily as swatting a fly. And for what? For humanity's (mostly his) right to know the truth. For Debbie's right to understand what she had truly married because Cecil respects her that fucking much for her to have a part in all of this, and what fate may lay in store for her son.
AND what I particularly liked about that scene is that unlike most SHADY GOV CHARS ™.. Cecil isn't afraid to regularly place himself in life-threatening situations, and for that im just.. FKING obsessed. finally. a hyper competent gov char that gets shit done and occasionally by his own hands instead of always puppeteering in the shadows. Love u .. love u honey snooch, please stop putting yourself in danger for your crazy alien side-hoes .
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but ahem ... back to s2.. and some flaws of his that i'm not afraid to point out. the way he's been treating mark is killing me. manipulating my son by comparing him to his dad then keeping him on lock by saying he's not like him??? The breadcrumming definitely didn't work out at all, cuz Mark is too damn stubborn to continue to be swindled by fear tactics he does not give a shit for anymore (homegirl DEBBIE taught him better) hes not gonna listen to a cranky skullet-having side bitch of nolans who clearly has been tryna manipulate him since s1. i HATED how he went "ur broke tyrannical bitch father felt the same way" in the last minute when mark tried to leave earth and yet i still lobve ceci cause ough,,.. my bastard wife knew something was probably up.
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Him wanting to keep a short leash on MARKY could be summed up after all that has happened in s1. i'm not going to justify his scummy manipulations or paranoia,, especially after all the shit mark has done and endured to prove himself over and over again that he's not like his father BUT its somewhat understandable for cecil 2 be wary if you look from it in his perspective.
moving on from that, lets dive back into ep 2 ..
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Debbie was semi-right in her deduction in s2 ep2, that this is what it's really all about for Cecil - being in control. Not of any situation, but of Mark. To ensure history does not repeat itself in the form of Mark becoming another Nolan. imo He likely doesn’t actually view Mark as his father, Not saying the possibility of it being a part of Cecil's subconsciousness is out of the equation but the way I see it? He was just exploiting that one weakness, that one insecurity Mark has - the fear of becoming like Nolan. And it’s a fear Cecil seemed to prey upon to keep Mark under his thumb and in the fucking GAME.
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awaaaa :3 !!!! psychologically damaging teens by comparing them to their abhorrently shitty fathers !! FUCK YOJ STEDMAN (love you snookums..)
,,,,I'd also like to think in my warped deluded perception (aka hcs) that he sees Debbie in Mark, so he can't help but care for the kid too. IVE ALWAYS seen a lot of comparisons between Mark and his dad, plus the whole motif of this new season hasn't helped it allay. But Debbie and Mark share so many similar characteristics as well and i wish that was talked a bit more often &lt; 3 (I will go in depth about it at a later post.)
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n umm like ...,,, bck to cici in gen. I guess the safety of earth is one of Cecil's redeeming qualities along with his compassion for side characters like Debbie. His pragmatism and utilitarianism define him. He lacks normal morals but has his own code that cultivates to his character. this ramble could not do justice to him ughfglg..,, what a compelling jezebel.. how can u captivate me so !!
My inbox is always open to discuss this multi-faceted rat man. here's to more cecil content in s2..,... hopefully with more of his dynamic with Debbie because I LIVE for that shit. though its unlikely their interactions could range to anything positive now since they may be hinting to cecil becoming an antagonist and/or taking extreme measures w/ mark. soo.. i dont think debbie's scolding was enough for that slut 2 take in ..
in the mean time i'll be catching up on the comics/re-reading them, look up more of his backstory and hopefully create 10 novels worth of google docs of analysis' of his character < 3 cuz .. he means .. that much 2 me.. and i want to prod at every crevice n brain matter he has inside that megamind head of his .
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((hwaghhhhhh << hoping that one day the discord moots ive been keeping in my basement and most invincible fans fall victim to cecil stedman propoganda.. no one should be immune to my girlboss and his awful skullet.))
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plounce · 1 year
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thinking about yshtola (i am nearing the end of 5.0 so these are incomplete thoughts) and it’s like... ok imo there are two main character traits for her: seeking knowledge and being a mean blunt bitch. the first i think lends more toward “what is yshtola doing here now in the plot” activity which is important for  a character. the second is what im thinking more about because it’s almost entirely flavorful for her. i think that her being blunt in that way matches well with matoya’s own stubborn pursuit of doing her own thing and yshtola spent a large portion of her youth with matoya, who was stubbornly apart from the rest of the sharlayan elite and made no secret of her disdain for them! so i think being at least partially raised with that gave her a certain tendency for avoiding centralized authorities - see how she leaves sharlayan for eorzea, see how she goes to the rak’tika greatwood and away from the exarch (who she is suspicious of). it doesn’t matter if somebody’s A Good Guy: she is willing to doubt anything to ascertain the truth of it. she’s stubborn but she’s also very humble, because she’ll also doubt her own understanding or previous knowledge (but not to an extent that she’d be gullible - she’ll invite emet-selch to share information, but she still doesn’t trust him as far as she can throw him).
she doesn’t like tricksy machinations and doesn’t engage in them herself and will tell you that right to your face. she says “urianger what the FUCK are you lying about this time” “thancred get your STUPID ASS head on straight” “emet-selch say something USEFUL or shut the FUCK up” “sharlayan you are full of BITCHES and COWARDS” and it is just great every time. she has love for her companions (excluding mr squelch obv) but that love does not hold her back or preclude her from demanding better of them.
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she’s not a rude person. she is very kind and has a solid heart in her chest and a great head on her shoulder. she is blunt. (urianger’s a really great foil to her as another scholarly character but as opposed to her, he will circle around something and keep things to himself and try to get everything to work out for the best without sharing anything. meanwhile she will say “alright here’s what i think needs to be done and i’m going to do it. and if i can’t, i need you to.” he’s kind of an enabler; she calls people out. passive vs active. healer vs caster dps.)
and that bluntness lends itself to her choosing to be really reckless! girls will jump into a bottomless pit to save a community of civilians and then do a really insanely risky spell, one that she has already permanently disabled herself (and thancred!) doing, rather than resigning herself to dying, because she will do everything in her power to move herself and the cause forward. she thinks things through, but she thinks fast, because she’s smart and decisive. she is reckless but not rash. and she will throw herself into danger if it’s the best thing to do to help save the day - in the english translation, using her aethervision drains her vitality, but she’s gotta do it to keep others alive and to save the world. it’s a sacrifice she’s choosing to make, even if her loved ones would rather she not do that to herself, please. but that’s a value judgment she’s making, and you probably couldn’t win the argument against her. she’s not infallible, but she’s usually right. she is the sort of person who is full of hope that can be more accurately described as stubbornness. she knows her loved ones for who their best self can be and she demands that of them - which can make her a great character to have around for other characters as well.
there’s also another secondary aspect to this that is kind of more depressing lmao but it is evident that in eorzea miqo’te women are often sexually objectified by the game and by characters within the world, so another reason she might have to have such high + spiky walls up is to like. deal with that. her more suggestive lines of dialogue are about her having sexual control (the lines about having you “over her knee” or putting you on a leash, for example). after the stormblood expac magnai fight:
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she’s got it handled, but it does also suck that this is something she has needed to learn how to handle! 
and those are my current #catgirlthoughts
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frecklystars · 2 months
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im gonna start making doodles trying to reclaim my TF F/Os that i've lost, maybe once a week or once every two weeks... or once a month?? i dont know, i will try to keep some consistency but i really need to start slow on this. here's to hoping that drawing them every once in a while will make even just the smallest difference.
im so sick of associating these characters with my abuser and i'm so sick of the immediate fight or flight response that i get when just looking at pictures of TF characters or even the voice actors. i have tried just about everything... therapy, medication, exercise, watching a few clips from the shows, buying cameos, commissioning art/fics, talking to voice actors in person at conventions... nothing has helped me get better at all. i tried giving up on TF entirely, throwing out/giving away all of my TF merch, refusing to touch the franchise, but that has only made me more and more miserable as time has passed. it has been over a year since [insert the most horrific experiences ever here] happened to me and since i associated that with a long list of things, TF included. and im! sick! of feeling bad! so! if im gonna be miserable no matter what, then i might as well try to get better, right?? drawing my F/Os loving me has never failed me before, so here's to hoping it isn't gonna fail me now. i am quite the stubborn bitch and i refuse to allow my main coping mechanism i've used for 2 decades to remain tainted forever and ever 😤😤
these will be the shakiest, shittiest doodles imaginable, but i think drawing the robots i miss so much at least once a month can help me rewire my brain into believing they're safe again and they love me and i'm not in danger. i think the best thing that will help me is drawing my Ryan F/Os interacting with them as "proof" that they're safe to be around, that they've "approved of" them, will help me slowly reclaim them. fake it til you make it as they say. let's try this for maybe just a couple of months as a slow start and see how it goes :/
any TF doodles will be tagged as "reclaiming robots tag" and nothing else - free to blacklist it if you dont wanna see. i'll most likely be rarely posting these but jic //shrug
anyway. yay. attempts number one and two. i like to think barbie and ken stop by the starflower meadow every now and then because stsc summons them across the multiverse, asking them how i'm doing, if i'm safe, if i miss him at all. wow i am shaking so bad. ha ha haaa. these took about ten?? minutes?? so woohoo to ten minutes of drawing TF. im proud of myself for trying. even if i dont go through with this and end up not being able to draw TF ever again, at least i managed this one single post. if i keep this up, maybe a year from now, or two years or five years or whatever, i'll be able to handle it. i don't even expect to hyperfixate on TF ever again because my self shipping will never ever be the same w/ them -- i'll never interact with the fandom again, i'll never reblog fanart or gifsets or anything like that ever again, if i even somehow managed to feel good enough to actually throw myself back into the shows -- but i want to think i'll feel indifferent to it one day. to not have that fight or flight response. that is my goal. literally the bare fucking minimum <3
anyway. i'm super nauseous. this is so incredibly hard! holy shit!!! but that's why i have to do this. to quote pedro pascal, i am going to have a panic attack and i am going to leave 👍✨
(BTW I am still gonna stay offline for a few more days. I am back from vacation but I am SO burnt out I don't want to interact with dms/my inbox yet. I just wanted to post this just to get it out of my system and let it disappear into the void. But I will be back later this week bc I still have some commissions to finish and I wanna gush about my very exciting time meeting steve/tom/the brba cast. anyway... goodnight. i love you. smooch)
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lifmera · 3 months
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Hello!! I came across your blog and its so adorable!! I love the aesthetic sm <333
I was wondering if I could possibly have a hazbin hotel matchup if you weren't too busy :)
So uhhh here's a tiny bit about me :)
my pronouns are she/her im demisexual/demiromantic
my personality type is INFP
i love drawing/writing and creating things in general. I tend to hyperfixate quite easily on things accidentally.
I play the violin quite often and I take a martial arts class :)
My favorite color is purple and black and some things i like to do in my free time is just binge watch things or read books. I tend to be quite stubborn on things and don't change my opinion easily this and I also tend to be quite hot-headed at times. I also like listening to music. My friends also say that I'm kinda intimidating from far away but once you get to know me they feel embarrassed that they ever thought i was so :D
Im kinda in between a golden retriever and a black cat in terms of personality ig :)
as for alignment its somewhere in between true neutral and chaotic good if that says anything-
I'm generally a kind person but if someone makes me mad then i kinda am a bitch in a sense but quietly, stuff like ignoring them and whatnot.
My sign is Leo and I'm 5'4 I really like animals especially dogs or cats :)
uhhh here's some more stuff im interested in :D
video games, books, args, theories, greek mythology, minecraft, and i also like just creating aesthetic things like moodboards and whatnot.
I tend to ramble on and get off track at times especially when I'm really into a topic (its the hyperfixation-). I also tend to overthink things because of this. I'm also lowkey obsessed with my grades... yeah idk why-
I'm fine with some touch and stuff but I get uncomfortable with hugs and stuff along with holding hands for too long. I like the more shoulder touching side hugging bits of physical touch more. I'd say my love language would probably be gifts and words of affirmation too :)
I hope this was enough info and sorry if its too much lol :)
AWW THANK YOU HUN!!
I think Emily would fit too- but..
I’ve decided to pair you with… ROSIE!!
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SHE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT THINGS YOU HYPERFIX ABOUT!
She def wants you to draw or write her stuff. Esp speeches for the rest of cannibal town!
She’d the think the violin is BEAUTIFUL. Begs you to play it often.
She’d love that you can defend yourself! Esp against the rest pf the cannibals if they tried to get too close..
Rosie isn’t really a fighter type. I don’t think you guys would disagree often! She’d love to listen and hear what you are thinking.
She definitely likes that you can look intimidating from far! It’ll help people stay away if they wanted to hurt you! But she also loves that you are a sweetheart. She’d LOVE to be with you!!
If you ever got mad at her, she’d be super upset, and buy you a TON of stuff to try to make up for it.
Rosie honestly would love animals too! You guys would adopt a puppy and a kitty.
She’d ask you to make her a mood board, or make her in videogames!! Definitely would ask you to make her in stuff !
She’d love someone with a golden retriever personality!! She has one too :)
Rosie tends to like older music- but i think she’d losten to whatever you liked to get closer !!
Personally i think she’s be super interested in hearing out greek mythology!
She’d support your grades no matter what! She definitely does not want you to become a burn out though.
I think rosie wouldn’t be very touchy either. I think she’d enjoy quality time and acts of service! In a giving way. She’d love to brew tea and sit and chat with you!
~~~~~
hopefully that was okay!
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crushedsweets · 5 months
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Hi there! Not sure if this has been done already but it’d be sick to get your take on what their zodiac signs might be :)
AHHH OK i love this!! here's a post for their birthdays but i'll still list their zodiacs!
BUT i'm not THAT familiar with zodiacs outside of silly stereotypes, and i chose a lot of their birthdays because of vibes (season, months, holidays, etc) rather than zodiacs... but i'll talk about some of my thought process anyway
also i gave some characters their canon bdays, and some i changed bc i cared more about vibes. LOL
Kate - cancer Tim - gemini Brian - aries Toby - taurus Natalie - scorpio Nina - aquarius Jeff - gemini Liu - gemini Jane - capricorn Jack - sagittarius Ben - sagittarius Sally - taurus Lulu - pisces Ann - scorpio Dina - virgo (aug 28 2008) Lazari - capricorn (dec 25 2011)
OKAY SO. kate, tim, brian, toby natalie, and lazari's birthdays are just their canon(or what wikipedia says lol) birthdays, so thats their zodiacs.. i think toby fits really well though, he's a stubborn bitch. natalie's fits well too cuz she's very independent. otherwise, no decision other than sticking w canon went into this
nina is an aquarius because i wanted her birthday to be Feb 13. cuz thats a day before valentines day, and i wanted her to always be short of love
jeff and liu are geminis because i wanted them to be the twins. i also chose lius birthday to be the first day of summer! just cuz i liked it
jane as capricorn because shes very driven, hardworking, smart, etc
jack as sagittarius because i wanted him to have a december/winter bday... and i thought sagittarius fit his past personality before the sacrifice
ben is also sagittarius. dunno why? im gonna change him to be a leo or libra cuz im lacking those two and he seems more summer/fall birthday...
sally is taurus cuz i wanted her to be born in may. cuz 'april showers bring may flowers' is a pretty phrase to me. and 9 is a pretty number, so may 9
lulu is a pisces cuz i wanted her to have a december/winter bday too. i just associate december with this deep navy blue that works for jack and lulu...
ann is scorpio cuz i wanted her to have an october birthday and scorpio just fit the vibe
dina is a virgo cuz i wanted to have a virgo and its ruled by mercury which i read something about being seen as the messenger for the gods, which is perf for dina. and the date is 28/8/08 which sorta resembles an angel number LOL. i WAS gonna make her birthday 1/11 or 2/22 but i already had enough of those zodiacs. we'll see if i move things around though!
lazari is a capricorn . i was actually gonna make her a capricorn before i realized her birthday is cannonically on christmas BECAAUUUSE capricorns are goats and goats are considered demonic etc etc.
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