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softgreengrass · 1 year

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Covert Narcissism

Wednesday Addams x reader

Summary: There's a new student at Nevermore, and she's certainly captured your attention.

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: swearing ig, otherwise none, implied f!reader

Author's Note: not angst!!! reader is a cocky little shit. there's a prank war. this was meant to be like half the length that it turned out oh well. thank u guys so much for all the support, i was so not expecting it! thank u thank u thank u thank u 💙💙💙

A new student at Nevermore. You had heard the rumors, seen Enid’s blog post about staying a safe distance away from her roommate, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the girl who walked into your world history class.

She looked utterly terrifying, in the way that made your head buzz and your stomach turn. She was also undeniably beautiful, with full lips and silky black hair, dead eyes dropped into a dangerous stare.

She sat down at an empty table in the center of the room — a safe choice, an attempt to blend in, a chance to observe.

Of course, you weren’t going to let her get away with that.

You got up from your seat in the back row and shuffled over, sliding into the chair right next to her.

Her side-eye was deadly as she pulled out a black notebook.

“Hey there,” you said, laying on the charm as thick as possible.

“Can I help you?” she replied, expressionless.

“Where are you from?” you leaned back, gazing at the curve of her cheekbone. “Wait, let me guess. Tennessee?”

Her eyes hardened. “If you finish that sentence, I’ll hang your intestines like a chandelier.”

She didn’t understand the twinkle in your eye, or why all you did was laugh. “Because you’re the only ten I see.”

She grabbed a pen from her bag, clicking it to reveal a glinting blade. “Would you like this to be driven through your eye socket?”

“Take me out first, would you?”

You bit back another laugh at the fury that flashed across her face. Then the history teacher cleared his throat, signifying the start of class.

His lecture droned on and on about the Trans-Saharan Trade Network, and you busied yourself with slowly inching closer to her. She noticed, you knew she did, but she also didn’t bother moving, so you took that as an invitation. But as soon as you reached over to her notebook, pencil not yet touching paper, her hand shot out to grab your wrist.

Her grip was ice-cold, tight enough to cut off circulation. You swallowed.

“Do not test me,” she muttered.

You lifted your palms in surrender, eyes wide. You hadn’t expected her to be so physical about it.

Reluctantly, she let you go, and you rubbed your wrist as you shifted back over to your side of the desk. You decided to try to focus on the lecture for the rest of class, but by the third mention of concubines, you were zoned out and staring at the clock.

You couldn’t really tell what she was doing. It looked like she was taking notes, sure, but her eyes were glazed over and she could’ve been writing “asshole” over and over for all you knew.

She was almost deathly pale, her breathing so shallow you weren’t sure she really was alive. Her braids were absolutely meticulous, not a strand out of place. Her uniform was black and gray. You remembered the argument you had had with Weems when you first arrived at Nevermore — you demanded that you be allowed to wear something other than that godawful uniform, and she refused to relent, until eventually you were stuck scrubbing the floors in detention, striped blue blazer on. Of course the new girl would get special privileges.

There was something striking about her sunken eyes, about her perfect posture, about the fact that she was a new student at Nevermore in the middle of the first quarter. You tried to take in every part of her that you could: black nail polish, reddish lips, defined jawline, firm glare.

“It’s very obvious that you’re staring,” she muttered, still writing down her magical spells or whatnot.

“Is that a problem?” you asked.

“Only if you value your life.”

“You are just a ball of sunshine, aren’t you?”

“You cannot take a hint, can you?” she snapped, turning to face you, eyes narrowing. “I’m not interested.”

“Everyone’s interested,” you smirked, glancing down at her lips and back up to dark eyes.

She ignored you for the rest of the period, properly ignored you, and you tried not to be too bothered by it. You watched, laughing with your friends, as she challenged Bianca to a bout during fencing. Wednesday Addams was going to learn how things worked at Nevermore.

It was quite simple, really. Nobody tried to best Bianca, and nobody ignored you. For most, it wasn’t a problem at all. You had girls fawning over you left and right, plus the occasional pig-headed boy who thought he’d be the exception. Even if someone didn’t want to sleep with you, they wanted to be your friend, and while there weren’t any popularity contests at Nevermore, you would’ve won them all.

But Wednesday Addams wouldn’t give you the time of day for a week after she arrived. So, you decided to play her game.

“Heard about those murders in the woods?” you asked, sidling up next to her as she walked briskly down the hallway.

Wednesday didn’t respond.

“What if I told you I’m the killer?”

Her head snapped to look at you, and you grinned triumphantly. “You’re not capable of that.”

“Ouch,” you clutched your heart, lengthening your strides to keep up with her quickening pace. “Come on, you don’t know that. I could be a killer.”

“But you aren’t,” she said impatiently.

“Why don’t you like me?” you asked earnestly, watching carefully for any twitches or flutters that might betray a reaction.

She replied without missing a beat. “Because you’re insufferable.”

“Bullshit,” you laughed.

Turning on her heel, she took an abrupt left turn, and you were forced to continue to your next class. You spent it brainstorming ways to irritate her, since her reaction was bound to be interesting, and soon you had a plan.

The problem was, you only had one class with her, and it seemed like she actively avoided you in the hallways. You had never been close with Enid, certainly not close enough to get into her dorm, and you weren’t going to embarrass yourself by asking around.

So for a while, you kept to annoying her in world history, laughing at every dirty look and death threat she responded with. It wasn’t as if you didn’t have other people to occupy your time.

When you caught Thing digging into the moisturizer drawer in the infirmary, a golden opportunity presented itself before you. You snatched him, holding the writhing hand until he stopped squirming and listened to what you had to say. You told him he would either help you prank Wednesday, or he would spend the rest of the week firmly duct-taped to the ceiling of Weems’ office.

Was it a threat? Yes. But you needed an inside man if you were going to have any shot of holding your own in the war you were about to start.

Eventually he agreed, after trying everything possible to free himself from your grasp, including flicking lotion into your eyes. You nearly slammed him into the table for that.

By the end of the day, you had already arranged your first prank: Thing stole Wednesday’s book of sheet music, and you replaced each piece with “I Want It That Way” for cello. The next morning, you woke up to dozens of plastic cups full of blood on the floor of your dorm, packed so close together that you had no hope of avoiding knocking them over.

So, you were late to class with blood-stained shoes. And as the blood you couldn’t sop up dried, your floor warped, looking more like mahogany than white oak.

And it was on.

World history became a battleground: you pulled a few strategic screws from her chair so it would collapse the moment she sat down, she coated your side of the desk in superglue, you told the teacher she had volunteered to give a lecture about the dissolution of Yugoslavia, she set fire to your pants in the middle of class.

“Unoriginal,” she deadpanned, looking down at the dead snake dumped inside of her bookbag. “Did you kill it?”

You shook your head, realizing too late that you had just knocked yourself down a few points.

“Disappointing.”

Your plan had worked perfectly — Wednesday spoke to you now. Nearly all of it was insults, but she was still speaking to you. The pranks escalated, and Wednesday’s death threats became more and more detailed, until you finally decided it was time to gain the upper hand. She had always committed the more gruesome pranks, always been the aggressive one, but you wanted control now. You were going to get a reaction out of her that wasn’t just anger at your defiance.

Enid and Wednesday were long gone, off to investigate some old mansion. You let yourself into their dorm, holding the biggest basket you could find, and swung open the doors to Wednesday’s wardrobe.

Under the cover of night, no one saw you carrying heaps of clothes outside or hauling them into a bleach-filled barrel. No one saw the assortment of dyes you had prepared: various shades of pink, pastel yellow and green, periwinkle blue.

You laughed quietly to yourself as you hung her clothes back up, leaving them to dry in her wardrobe overnight. There was no way she would be able to top this — there wasn’t a single aspect of your character vulnerable to an attack of this magnitude. You would defeat her here.

Wednesday didn’t show up to any of her classes the next day, but the wide-eyed looks Enid gave you were all the confirmation you needed. Maybe she would go back to ignoring you, but at least you would have won. You kept your head held high, your smile wide as you went about your day.

You should’ve known she wouldn’t have let you win so easily.

In the middle of a restful night’s sleep, you were awoken by a loud hum. At first, through the fog of drowsiness, you thought the heater had finally kicked on.

Then you felt the first few brush against your hand, and your eyes shot open. In a flash, an entire horde of bees was on you, stinging every inch of exposed skin. You screamed, waving your arms, and bees flooded your mouth. You didn't realize that the perpetrator was still standing in the shadows of your room.

You jumped out of bed, vision entirely blocked by the swarm, stumbling around not unlike a headless chicken. You swiped at your arms and face, feeling stingers drag down your skin, feeling prick after prick and feeling tingly swelling.

“You didn’t really think you would get away with something like that, did you?” Wednesday said blankly, tilting her head as she watched you struggle.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” you cried, shaking your limbs vigorously to get the thousands of tiny legs off of you.

“Do you surrender?” she smirked. You couldn’t see it, or you would have made a big deal out of it.

“Yes, Jesus Christ!” you exclaimed, scratching at your eyes and spitting out bees. “I surrender, you win, get them off!”

Wednesday picked up the smoker beside her and began spraying you. The bees slowly fell to the floor, asleep, and you stood shaking, red and swollen. You felt like an idiot and a half. What were you thinking, provoking the girl who got here for murdering someone?

“I accept your surrender,” she said, using a broom to scoop the bees into a drawstring bag.

“I would hope so,” you mumbled, looking at the bumps covering your arms, tensing your muscles to resist the urge to itch them. “How the hell do you have so many bees?”

“I’m a Hummer,” she said simply.

The nurse gave you a big tub of lotion and a few antihistamines, and you spent the next two days cooped up in your room, wishing death upon Wednesday Addams and her bees.

When you finally returned to your classes, Wednesday watched, amusement swimming somewhere deep in her eyes. The itchiness had somewhat subsided, but you still had to wear long sleeves and deflect countless questions about what happened to your face.

“Not so cocky now, are we?” Wednesday asked you in world history, nearly smiling at the way your face twisted in anger.

“There’s a line between a practical joke and assault,” you bit.

“I don’t believe there is.”

You couldn’t argue with that. So you sat fuming for the rest of class and the days that followed. After a week, there were no remaining physical signs of what she had done, but your psyche would be scarred forever. And of course, it was then that Weems called you into her office for a favor.

“Why would I do that?” you asked, scrunching up your face.

“To put it simply,” she sighed, leaning forward over her desk. “The Sheriff needs Wednesday to be here at school on the night of the Rave’N.”

“Why do I have to take her?”

“Oh, please,” she smiled slyly. “Just ask her, alright? I’ll owe you.”

You raised your eyebrows, weighing your options. Get Wednesday to go to a dance with you, or be on Weems’ bad side again. You didn’t know when you had gotten off of it, but you certainly weren’t in a hurry to return. Besides, the least Wednesday could do after nearly murdering you was go to a dance with you.

“Fine.”

“I’m not going to the dance,” was Wednesday’s response, quick as a whip.

You weren’t the least bit surprised. “But I asked you nicely.”

“I am not participating in another pointless childish tradition.”

“But I’m asking you to go with me. To be my date,” you pouted, watching as she scowled at you.

“Perhaps you need to have your memory checked. I’ve already told you I’m not interested.”

“Don’t you owe me something? After, you know, traumatizing me for life?”

“Weak,” she muttered under her breath. “No, I don’t believe I do. You don’t owe me something for ruining my entire wardrobe, do you?”

“Actually,” you said quickly. “That was pretty harsh. What would you like me to do?”

“Not take me to the dance.”

You shook your head, smiling. “That’s not how favors work, I’m afraid. Come on, name anything. I’ll do it.”

You couldn’t believe you were doing this for Weems.

She eyed you suspiciously. “If I go to the Rave’N with you, you’ll do anything I want?”

You resisted the urge to clarify, nodding your head.

“Fine. Pick me up at eight.”

She pushed you out of her dorm, slamming the door in your face. You stood there, bewildered, until you realized you needed to get ready. You had managed to get her to go to a school dance — that was something, right?

A few hours later, your knuckles rapped against the door twice, and you took a step back. You repeated some assurances to yourself, looking down at your feet until the door opened.

The sight of her took your breath away for a moment.

Wednesday was as beautiful as she had been when you first saw her, her hair pinned back, her lips plump and dark. Her dress was black and elegant, and your heart seized as she met your eyes.

“You look ravishing, darling,” you said, grinning widely as her nostrils flared.

She wanted to throttle you as you stepped inside and said hello to Enid.

“Now, where were we?” you spun to face Wednesday. “I believe you were telling me to rip off my arm and shove it up my ass, correct?”

“Always so crude,” Wednesday muttered, digging through a black backpack. “I told you to burn eternally under the hand of a cruel god.”

“Oh, my bad.”

Enid took a hesitant step forward. “Are you guys going to the dance?”

You shot her a strange look. “Yes.”

Enid stifled a sound of surprise, watching as Wednesday pulled a tube of lipstick from her bag and applied a layer. “Oh. Well, have fun! See you down there!” She slipped between you and shut the door on her way out, leaving you in one of the most awkward situations you had ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

Wednesday looked utterly exasperated as she looked at you. “Well?”

“I, um,” you swallowed. “Are you ready?”

She blinked. “Yes.”

“Okay,” you cleared your throat. “Shall we?”

Wednesday’s arm was in yours as you walked down the stairs, some electro-pop song growing louder and louder with each step you took. You were quite pleased with yourself: you were going to walk in with Wednesday Addams on your arm. Not a big deal.

She stared steadily through her eyebrows as you approached the iced-out hall, ignoring Thornhill and Weems as they greeted you. It didn't take long to find Enid.

To your surprise, Wednesday didn't seem to despise the decor, though she certainly despised most of the attendees. Xavier and Lucas were both subjected to death-glares of the highest caliber.

After you both had a few Yeti-tinis in you, you dragged Wednesday to the dance floor. And then, something unbelievable happened. It was probably rarer than a total solar eclipse, and you didn't think many who had witnessed it had survived.

Wednesday Addams began to dance.

She stared at you unrelentingly as she moved, looking somewhere between a bird doing a mating dance and a teenager possessed with the spirit. You could do nothing but watch, hypnotized, as she danced around you.

You had never seen anyone move so freely. It really was spellbinding, and you could feel the entire dance floor watching her. But she was staring at you.

And then the song was over, and you were left standing and looking at each other again. There was something magical in the air.

Everyone else was lost in the music, already dancing again without a care in the world, and the floor vibrated with the bass, and she looked absolutely ethereal in the blueish light. You didn't know anything, except that you couldn't stop smiling. If you didn't know better, you would've thought she might kiss you.

Something dripped onto your shoulder, and then your head, and then it was raining down. Blood.

In moments, pure chaos broke loose. Screams overpowered the music, the floor turning into a grisly slip-n-slide as people rushed away from the shower.

There was a smile on her face, a smile, a smile on Wednesday Addams’ face. Everyone else was sprinting for the nearest exit, and she was smiling, and you were staring at her.

“Did you do this?” she asked.

You rubbed the back of your neck, face burning with the shame about to come. “No.”

Her face fell, but she would deny it if you ever told anyone. You didn’t plan to. “Oh.” She licked her lip. "They couldn't even spring for real pigs' blood, anyway. It's only paint."

The enchantment drained from the air along with her excitement, and you no longer wanted to be coated in red paint, so you parted ways with her and retreated to your dorm.

The next day, you found yourself in the quad with Wednesday and Enid, assigned to confetti clean-up.

“Aren’t you tired?” you asked.

Wednesday looked at you. “Why would I be tired?”

“You’ve been running through my mind all day,” you grinned, watching the familiar flare of irritation appear in her eyes.

“I’ll hide your body parts all over the country.”

“I’ll sweep you off your feet,” you winked.

“I’ll skin you alive.”

Enid laughed nervously, glancing between the two of you. “Um, no killing, right?”

“She won’t kill me,” you said smugly, leaning back.

Wednesday gritted her teeth, wanting more than ever to slit your throat. “Oh, but how I hate you.”

She stood up, muttering something about needing to write her novel, and stalked away. You smiled to yourself, already reminiscing on the annoyance written all over her face. You started thinking of other cheesy pickup lines — maybe you’d have to watch some rom-coms for inspiration.

Enid said your name, staring at you incredulously. You snapped to attention. “Oh my god, don’t you see it? Wednesday likes you!”

What? You shake your head, laughing slightly. “No, no, she hates me.”

Enid jumped up and down, squealing. “She likes you!”

“No, she doesn’t.”

Grasping your hands in hers, she beamed at you. “Oh wow, this is such a big day. I mean, I didn’t even know if, wow, I didn’t think this was possible! Ooh, this is so exciting!”

“Enid!” you said sharply, glaring at her until she stopped hopping.

“She doesn’t like me, we’re not even really friends. We just prank each other.”

“Did you not see the way she blushed?” she furrowed her eyebrows.

You thought back. Wednesday had glowered at you, jaw clenched. Her skin was as pale as ever. “No?”

“You’re blind,” Enid giggled. “She was like, bright red for her. She so likes you.”

You shook your head again, mind racing. Could it be? You played back every moment you could remember: each prank, each mean-spirited remark, each heated argument. She had never been anything but stone-faced, her tone never anything more than irritated. Why would she like you?

You could’ve laughed — if it were anyone else, you’d never even dream of asking that question. But it was Wednesday. You had accepted that she’d never want anything from you. You had accepted that.

What if she did like you? Did you like her? Well, she was beautiful, obviously. She had exactly your sense of humor. But you had never really liked someone like that. Enough to flirt, to touch, to go a little farther. But in a truly romantic sense? A genuine sense?

Shit. You liked Wednesday.

You rushed out of the quad, ignoring Enid’s excited questions, and stumbled over your feet as you made your way to Wednesday’s dorm. On the way, you tried to figure out the best way to ask her without activating her fight or flight, without getting punched in the nose for being too forward.

You caught your breath for a few seconds before knocking.

“What do you want?” she asked, glare colder than usual.

You smiled sheepishly, remembering how it felt to be swarmed by hungry bees. “I come in peace, I swear.”

“What do you want?” she repeated.

“Can I come in?”

She rolled her eyes, stepping aside with a huff and letting you enter. You glanced at the pile of new black clothes on her bed and turned to face her as she closed the door.

Suddenly, everything you had planned flew right out of your head. “Um, Enid said, Enid said that you like me?”

Wednesday’s eyes widened, her heart thundering in her chest. Of all the things she expected you to say, that was at the absolute bottom of the list.

“I, I don’t know if that’s true,” you said, pretending like your voice wasn’t shaking. You weren’t sure where all of your usual confidence was. “But, I think I like you too.”

Somehow, this was the most terrifying thing you’d ever experienced. Your hands were shaky, your heart beating so fast it could’ve been vibrating, your mouth dry.

Wednesday took a small, hesitant step towards you, her head tilted up. And, after you forgot how to breathe, her lips met yours. They were soft, and warmer than you expected, and gentle as they moved against yours. Your hands found their way to her face, hers gripped your waist. The moment could’ve lasted minutes or hours; it was all the same. It was only you and her.

“Shit,” you breathed as you pulled away, looking at her with blown pupils. Slowly, you grinned. “I knew you were interested.”

“I’m not above burying you alive, you know,” she said, not a hint of emotion in her voice, before pulling you back in for another kiss.

#wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday series #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday show #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader

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ellilyre · 3 months

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Ive lose the ask asking for my transmasc!Leo headcanon TT but i have them written down so imma post em like that

Leo transmasc headcanon

(many things are based on my own experience. Especially the dysphoria related things (so when i talk about Leo not being a real boy it is what he thinks bc of dysphoria. It’s not true.))

(warning angst angst (but thats Leo so that was expected)

it was so obvious even when he was small. He always wanted to play with boys, wear boys clothes, ect… His mom was fine with it. She bought him boys toys and clothes and even sometimes called him hijo. She was a bit confused, but she knew it made her child happy and it's all that mattered.

However, it didn’t go that well with his foster homes. However much he tried, they always stuck to his deadname and she/her. That was a big part of the reason he kept running away.

There really is no story behind the name Leo. He picked that one bc it sounded cool.

Once he got a good enough passing, he did everything he could so ppl will assume he’s cis.

Don’t ask me how he gots his hands on hrt. It’s a long and weird story.

The wilderness school was very strict about not mixing girls and boys in dorms.

Piper was his roommate, that’s how they met.

In their memories created by Hera, Jason has kinda always known he’s trans. So Leo never bothered to hide it from Jason (as he does with others).

But Jason doesn’t have much (any) education on transidentity… At first he assumed Leo was a cis guy, and then some things were a bit confusing (why was he in fem dorms ? Why does he wear a tank top under his shirt ? Did he just ask Piper for a tampon???) but he just kinda gave up on trying to understand, bc Leo is a nice guy anyways. And with time (and exterior knowledge on the matter) he started to put the pieces together and to understand that “ooh ok that makes sense".

Otherwise. Leo has no desire to get out of his comfortable closet.

He has such a fragile masculinity

Sometimes he acts a little bit macho. He’s aware he’s acting like an asshole but he’s terrified of being perceived as feminine.

Why does he try to flirt with every girl he sees ? Another attempt to pass better (and comfort himself in his fragile masculinity) by copying stereotypical boys' things.

He overbind so much, GODS. Man will wear his binder for 11h straight (while fighting and running around) and then have the audacity to complain that his body hurts.

Piper tries very hard to remind him to take proper breaks.

Jason is the biggest gender envy ever. He is handsome, tall, muscular… Leo really loves him but he also is so jealous and envious.

He is very envious of other boys in general.

When Percy got woken up in the middle of the night and left his cabin shirtless. When Frank went to take a break in the men’s restroom…

Gods, he would do anything to just be a normal boy. To be like them. To have their bodies. To not have to destroy his body to look slightly more masculine. To not have this constant fear that they’re gonna find out.

And to add to the reasons why he felt so much like the 7th wheel : Among the 7 there are 3 girls, 3 boys… And Leo. Forever inbetween. Not a girl, but not a boy like the others either.

Fortunately, with time he learnt to accept himself better and to feel more comfortable with others.

Piper helped him to go easier on himself. And he had an actual proper talk with Jason.

The first person he actually came out to was probably Annabeth, bc she’s cool and wise and nice.

And then he saw it actually was ok. She didn’t treat him any differently, she didn’t tell anyone else. She was cool with it.

He then told Frank and Hazel, with Piper’s help (mostly to explain to Hazel all those new terms). And it also went very great ! He then also told Percy and Nico.

He’s not entirely out, just to his closest friends and his siblings at camp. And it’s enough.

He still overbinds, but he has ppl to (discreetly) remind him to take care of himself. He’s still very dysphoric but his loved ones know how to remind him that he is their brother, an amazing boy.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #leo valdez #heroes of olympus #hoo #pjo hoo toa #pjo headcanon

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tav-marcio-leles · 6 months

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I'll be storing all of my glacio headcanon/info dumps here

post will consistently update

Ship: Gale Dekarios x Marcio Leles (Tav) Ship Name: Glacio Name Origin:

Headcanons

[1]

Gale will read aloud or info dump to Marcio to help him fall sleep (or if he notices Marcio is having a fit in his sleep). Sometimes, Gale does this without even realizing it, because he sleep talks. It makes Marcio feel safe <3

Reasoning:

Tav has been shown to consistently get little good sleep—if they get any, that is—thanks to bad dreams or restlessness.

Gale canonically talks in his sleep.

[2]

In the chronicles timeline, Gale is around 26. Marcio is 30. The reasonings below were presented when I was doing some Sword Coast research.

Reasoning:

Tw/ implied grooming for this one

Gale was scouted out at 8 by Elminster.

There was a lot of weird timeline stuff regarding when Mystra was reformed—leaving Gale anywhere between 25-35 years old. Some theorize he’s a similar age to Elminster, but Morena is still alive, so I highly doubt it.

Gale mentioned that he was a child prodigy when Mystra. The word revealed was the biggest red flag, and I immediately looked up if Gale was implied to be groomed.

I found this post and it made me disgusted in Mystra forever:

On a more light-hearted note, I saw a headcanon that looks older than his 20s due to the orb draining his life force. I liked that! So, it's canon in the Tav Marcio Chronicles.

[3] Tieflings sometimes have animal-like behavior due to their devil bloodline. I'll make a guide to how I interpret tielfing tail language in the future.

I mostly associate Marcio with cat behavior thanks to my roommate's comments when I told her tielfings are implied to have no control over their tail movement. Marcio's tail might lift or wag when happy, he purrs or chirps, he has a tendency to curl up when sleeping, etc.

[4] Gale was born a sorcerer.

Reasoning:

His charisma starts off decently high.

Gale says he's been able to do magic for as long as he can remember.

I've seen some compare his fireball at age 8 to a Storm Sorcerer, which checks. He knew how to speak Ignan (Primordial), an ability a Lvl 1 sorcerer gets.

I found this book in the Goblin Camp, Magic of the Weave - An Introduction:

So, this means that Gale probably just prefers to call himself Wizard based off of this standard.

Mystra says all of his power was taken from him by the Karsite Weave. She also compares the power to a storm right before hand. Interesting...

Info Dumping

[1]

Tiefling’s tail movement is implied to be involuntary (you aren’t allowed to try and stop moving it when your tail movement scares the wolf in the Druid Grove).

My friend compared it to a cat’s tail movement, and now that’s canon in my mind—tielfings having shared behavior with cats. This includes purring, which I think is fitting for Gale—to fall in love with a Marcio who can purr.

Marcio is also a Mephistopheles Tiefling, meaning he has an affinity to magic. I think it would be funny for that to be a sense of “love at first sight” for Gale, possibly just sensing the magic radiating off of Marcio.

For Marcio, it was just that Clone High meme: “I like your funny works magic man.” 💕

[2]

It’s a little poetic that Marcio is a Mephistopheles tielfing trying to keep Gale away from the Crown’s corruption, and Mephistopheles is the devil that kept the Crown from Raphael.

[3]

I broadcast my gameplay on the living room TV for my roommates to watch. Recently, one of them saw that Marcio carried a little bag of magical items—his reasoning being, “just in case Mystra takes away his ability to control the orb”. My friend said it was Marcio carrying period products for his boyfriend, just in case.

So, trans Gale valid and you might see it from time to time! 🏳️‍⚧️

✨ I've decided that Gale, in the Tav Marcio Chronicles, is cis, though. Marcio, on the other hand, is trans.

[4]

Marcio’s eyes remind Gale of the weave sometimes. They also glow in the dark, which is terrifying to wake up to sometimes.

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roachemoji · 11 months

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Stranger Things S2 01

this is just me live blogging watching ST none of my thoughts are v coherent enjoy <3

STARTING OFF REAL INTERESTING BUT REAL TALK when you have like a cool haircut how do you expect not to be found if u do a crime???? LIKE I LOVE YOUR MOHAWK AND I GET IT U DONT WANT TO COVER IT BC OBVIOUSLY BUT!!!!

this is NOT the focus obviously its about the fact theres other kids from the lab BUT AKSHDAKSJDKH

DUSTINNNN!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IM SO GLAD WE'RE STARTING ON HIM KISS KISS KISS

not the reagan sign STOP STOP ITS BEEN 2 SECONDS I HATE TED THATS HIS NAME RIGHT FIGHT KILL DESTROY BITE BITE BITE BITE

also the boys have grown SO MUCH !!!!!!! i forget there was actual real time between when these were filmed KSJHD im so excited to see Will and his perpetual bowl cut

JOYCE MY MOM!!!!!!!!!! SHES SO PRETTY AND SO CONCERNED I JUST LOVE HER

THE CHIP EATING DUDE FUCKING !!!! REMINDS ME OF THAT FUCKER FROM MONSTER HOUSE???????

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE REMINDS ME OF THIS ASKJDHASKJHDKAJSH

Will is so tiny ..... and little? oh hes being teleported into the fucking upside down again baby boy im so fucking sorry also ilu but why would you just walk outside away from wher eyour friends WERE to look at the horrifying shit world you were trapped and almost died in ????? aSDKJH

Im gonna have to DM you on discord or something so i can properly save all the things you have to say about the timelines and how the Russian shit plays into that because was anyone calling El (im assuming he's referring to her) is Russian??? IK this is possibly the third (?) timeline we've seen (genuinely let me know if i can do that its ok if not i forget tumblr has Dms)

ALSO WHO IS THIS GUY IM CRYING HES!!! WHAT A PI??? WHO ARE YOU

NANCY AND STEVE ALSO BESTIES IM CRYING STEVE IS hes trying so hard are they dating my brain is so full of queer shit that im so deadset on platonic hetero relationships - i paused for one second and unpaused and they kissed SO THAT ANSWERS MY QUESTION

idk what relationships to pay more attention to bc the dynamic between Mike and El interests me the most because of how compulsory everything feels and how El is going to navigate a completetly new environment and how Mike will cope with that? (im assuming its not well)

OH is this the !!! the guy that i see people talk about all the time YEAHHH THE BLOND MULLET MAN AND MAX what the fuck is his name Billy??? He looks trans

CRYING AT CHECKING OUT H IS ASS GIRL WAHT ASS HES FLAT HE HAS NOTH ING AKDSHASKHDKAJSH and those jeans are supposed to be supporting cheeks

I love Mr Clark so much and everyone who looks bored in his class just doesnt GET IT

BUT ALSO MAX I GET IT QUEEN the boys all staring are so good I FORGET THEY GO AS THE GHOST BUSTERS FOR HALLOWEEN

JOYCE MY MOM WHO IS THIS GUY HES??? GOOFY AND SHES SO HAPPY ??? BOB !!! i have no initial bad opinions of him bc hes silly and goofy and he makes Joyce so happy and she deserves to be SO SOSOS OS HAPPY and nothing but happy

IF i have to endure another god damn Hopper flash back im gonna throw up and scream and cry and lose my mind and I won't recover and I'll never come back

Im in call while I watch this episode because i really wanted to get through while and actually use my brain bc i don't that often - but my roommates bird is sitting next to her mic and farting really really softly into it and its making me lose my fucking mind

CORN MAZES WHEN YOURE TALL LOOK SO EASY AND LESS SCARY WHENEVER IM IN A FUCKING CORN MAZE ITS TERRIFYING AND I CANT SEE SHIT BC IM LIKE 2 FEET TALL

NANCCYCYY AND JOHNANATHANANSDNSAKDJ BESTIES BESTIES BESTIES BEST FRIENDS IM MAKING THEM A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET ITS THEIR FAVORITE COLOURS AND THEY NEVER TAKE THEM OFF

ADN STEVE TOO!!! IM SORRY YOURE A THIRD WHEEL BUT its the start of season 2 how do we feel about polyam relationships between them where the audience for that point me in the correct direction

DUSTIN IS RIGHT ALSO I LOVE HIM i love his little hats - MAX IS ALSO RIGHT

God i feel so ba for Will like to be??? singled out like that especially in elementary school? hell.

WHERE ARE THEY GOING TOGETHER WHAT IS HAPPENING ISNT THIS THE LAB ??? ougHHH THAt needle sound was unecessary

REALLY starting to see how this might be a different timelinei have no idea how ???? Joyce would.... trust them??? UNLESS THIS IS A HOSPITAL no its not ho films ina fucking hospital like this

also theyre mentioning the upside down

I understand needing to go back to the only place that fully understands that it exists and you need a place to talk to someone and also monitor him physically without being dismissed as insane - but i dont understand how Joyce OR Hopper would trust the Lab again after everything happened??????

I'm glad that he's actually getting help, and im glad that Joyce and Hopper are there to make him feel safe and support him given everything but !!!!!

this iS THE. He has PTSD. when did they get the word to describe that akjhaskjdh NVM HE JUST SAID IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO IS PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL HELPFUL BC IT SURE THE FUCK IS N OT FOR ME ????????? also who is this DR hes kinder but "i need you to trust me" to JOYCE AFTER THE BRENNER SHIT ???

also them NOT MENTIONING IT WHEN THEY LEAVE BUT JOYCE UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE "i need you to trust me" THING B UT NOT BRINIGN UP BRENNER?????? susususususus timeline shit anyway EM @ me tell me wahts up kiss kiss mwuah mwuah

OH they've upped their guinea pig game on entering the upside down and the gatelooks fucking uglier and uglier LOVE THE TORCH glad it works but no wonder the gate looks angry???

DUSTINNN I LOVE H IM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

ough i have a feeling her older brother is gonna ..... trigger me a lil but we'll get through it

THEM BOTH HAVING A CRUSH ON HER!!!!!

If YouR fRiEnD jUmPs OfF a ClIfF 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

THEYRE GOING OVER TO HAVE DINNER WITH BARBS FAMILY STOP STOP STO PST OPST OPST IM GONNA CRY Oh they hired a P.I okay yeah the bald guy he..... HIS CARD STOPPPPP

realizing they defenitely can't tell her parent's what actually happened to her an di hate that im gonna oaufkahd girl im so sorry im so sorry im so osrry UPSET BC SHE AS A CHARACTER DID NOT DESERVE TO DIE I WISH THEY HADN'T DONE HER DIRTY LIKE THAT

all the photos of her would make me so ill to look at like god NANCYYY THE GUILT AND B LAME GIRLIEEEE

also Mike rebelling after experiencing that kind of trauma and losing Will and El even though Will came back he's not the same of corse he's struggling - calling it with the !!!! WALKIE TALKIEEEE girl i miss her too

YEAHHH ITS dustiNNNN BUT HE AKSHDKAJSH

DUSTINNN IM KAHSDKJH I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HES SO SILLY !!!!!!!!!!!!! HES THE SILLY IN MY HEART

HONESTLY props to him again for not like invesigating something that was probably gonna be HORRIBLE he'd survive a horror movie

JOYCEEEEE IN MY FAV SHIRT SHES SO KISS KISS KISS KISS

Johnathan is such a good brother bro BUT ALSO WILL IS SO RIGHT I GET IT I GET IT I UNDERSTAND TREATING IT LIKE ITS NORMAL MAKES IT WORSE !!!! SOMETHING HAPPENED PLEASE ACKNOWLEGE THAT and JOHANATHANNN HES THE FREAK AND A WEIRDO

STOPA SDADKSHJ iT S THAT WHY YOU DONT HAVE ANY FRINEDS SHUT UP STOP STOP /POS

BOB i love you so far and ik that being a step parent in these situation (even tho hes only dating Joyce its the same) is so hard especially when there are kids involved BUT YOURE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB

AND THEYRE ALL WATCHING THE MOVIE TOGETHER AHHH

ew the phone the trigger GIRL YOU GOT THIS ITS OKAY ITS OKAY BUT ALSO THATS SUCH A HORRENDOUS RINGTONE WHAT THE FUCK

love me a tech who accidentally ignores the alarms going off (i couldnt hear the song playing it feels important - unintentially placing importance on all the music in this show now thank u em)

OohuaAHDAKJH OH WILL IS GONNA get ,,,,, yoinked back again isn't he ouguhadhAKHDJS interesting that it really only affects the *outside* like doors are now portals in a way ? i cant remember if it affected the inside of the arcade immediately or not

OH MIST LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wood Waffle Hours !!!!!!!!!! OH NO CABIN HOURS??? IS SHE. IS SHE. BIG EYE BALL EMOJIS LET ME SEE MY GIRL LET ME SEE THE BABY GIRL !!!! this entire scene makes it seem like shes a fucking AKSJDHA freak ass creature

HER HAIRRRRR SHES SO CUTE STOPPPP HOPPERS LITTLE SMILE IM TEARING UP AND CRYING ACTUALLY LOOK AT THEM LOOK AT THEM LOOKA T THEM OUGHHAHAHHHHHHHH IM HEAVING

thank u for reading these were my thoughts

#bo posting #stranger things #live blogging #st #I DONT HAVE MUCH TO ADD HERE IT WAS JUST A GOOD EP #REALLY LOVED THE COLD OPEN TOO

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aleprouswitch · 9 months

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In October 2011, my mental health was deteriorating for a multitude of reasons and I was actively thinking about killing myself. I told my therapist after a bad episode on my college campus and he suggested a mental health facility that would provide care without insurance. The idea seemed a bit terrifying, but I decided to do it because I was afraid of what I was capable of doing in terms of harming myself.

My mom refused to take me to the facility, so I had to ask a then-friend if he could drive me to the facility to check in on Friday night. He agreed to. Friday night comes, and I try calling him, and I'm getting no answer. Finally he calls me back, and he's hammered. Shitfaced. Three sheets to the fucking wind. Obviously, he can't drive. I am beyond angry and also worried.

I had no other choice but to post on Facebook that yes, I was having a mental health crisis and I needed somebody to drive me to the facility to be admitted. A guy on the local music scene that I barely knew agreed to drive me. He was actually really nice and stayed with me in the lobby until I got called back for admittance. I was asked a big string of questions and signed some paperwork, and that was it.

My phone was taken away from me and I was thrust into Grippy Sock Land. Food was scarce and daily activities were heavily regulated. We had an "art hour" where we were given colored pencils and markers and encouraged to draw. Apparently my drawing was disturbing to the caretakers because of the religious imagery used in it. In truth, the art piece didn't really mean much of anything. We were shown old movies and made to watch infomercials about medications.

I was placed on multiple medications that made me extremely drowsy and I spent hours upon hours sleeping in a room with two beds. The other bed was at first occupied by a woman who appeared to be in her 40s. All she did was cry hysterically and say she needed help over and over. She was eventually removed and sent to another facility. My second roommate was a convicted felon facing another robbery charge. I saw her mugshot not long after release.

The only thing that helped me retain my sanity during those three days was that surprisingly, a friend of mine at the time was admitted during the same weekend, also for suicidal thoughts. My friend was trans but not out yet, and at the time they were married to a man I had known since high school. We found little ways to make each other laugh despite our bleak surroundings, and that gave me hope.

After release, I got my phone back and found that my now ex-friend who was too drunk to take me to be admitted three days earlier had send multiple text messages apologizing for "failing" me. I just rolled my eyes. Another ex-friend messaged me on Facebook about my stay, saying she was "jealous" because I got a "vacation" for a few days. I was so disgusted by her words. Nothing about that experience resembled a "vacation" at all. It was miserable. It was hell.

My co-workers acted scared to talk to me when I returned to work afterward, as if I was volatile and should be approached with caution. My mom never really talked to me about my stay, which I expected. I did get some really nice messages from people I knew, including some musicians I networked with, that made me feel better about my experience and like I did the right thing to help myself.

Twelve years have passed since that ordeal. Almost nobody I was friends with then are still in my life now. Two of the people mentioned in this post sexually assaulted me. Another did something horrible to hurt me in 2013 and I have had them blocked on all social media since. I have never gone back to that mental health facility and I never want to be there again. The lead doctor there was pretty nice, but everyone else made me feel like a circus animal.

I am in the long, arduous process of making sense of my traumatic experiences and maybe that's why I'm writing all of this out. The more removed I am from these experiences, the more fucked up I'm realizing that they were. I deserved kindness and rarely received it during those years. Of course I wasn't perfect and I had problems, but sometimes it really does hit me how everyone in my life was treating me like a burden or something in the way back then.

#personal #life #mental health #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw

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jennyforeigner · 6 months

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So as is Jewish tradition, we're at the chinese restaurant for Christmas. Already mad because NBC is playing a litany of feel bad about the world stories and also a nostalgia piece about Cabbage Patch dolls. Perfectly serviceable mid-tier buffet food. Evening is going fine, I guess.

Then I catch just a whiff of the conversation behind me. Lady is mad because some trans woman she knows has like h-cups now. (Great for her, BTW, love a stacked queen. Thoughts and prayers for her poor spine.) Ready to go back to the fried banana that's left on my plate. Except now BehindMe!Lady is mad because this woman (who she has consistently misgendered despite the aforementioned H-cups) is apparently just doing it for attention because, paraphrasing here, "people are opening doors for [her] and being nicer".

So now I'm proper mad. Gonna stew in it and have my fresh plate of deserts. Except now she's recounting how H-Cups (God I wish I caught a proper name for her. Hope she likes being immortalised by her jackpot rack) is getting shunned by the family. The woman's date says "Good. That's how [she'll] learn." And I'm not going to have a fight with strangers. I won't do it.

Except now Date is complaining that the military shouldn't have to pay for her transition (he was specifically mad about surgeries but transphobes are always obsessed with trans bodies because they are in fact sex perverts and not even the fun kind). And BehindMe!Lady is just going along with it. They are so mad that apparently H-cups' employer is, checks notes, providing her with health insurance, I guess.

So I am boiling over. I've thoroughly had my meal ruined by these randos' small hearts. So we pay our bill, I dont even read mybfortune check, my wife and our roommate are ahead of me. I stop.

I lean over these jackasses' table. I am assured I did not shout, but by God my heart was pounding and I sure felt like I was. "Hi," I say. "Y'all should be ashamed of how you've been talking about her." I storm away.

Roommate tells me someone went "woo!" (But there were a lot of parties so it could have easily been about one of those.) The waitress who just watched me spit venom at strangers looks terrified. The Date asks who I'm talking about but I have already left.

I do not know how they have responded. I hope they feel abashed. I hope they worked out who I meant. I hope I've ruined their evening like they've ruined mine. I am still seething as I write this. But more than anything, I hope H-Cups gets someone better in her life than these vulgarians.

#cw: transphobia

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starrlikesbooks · 1 year

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Hey Castor, i'm trying to find a book to buy for my roommate for his bday. He likes fantasy and sci fi, and i only ever read more grounded, english-lit type stories so i'm totally lost. But then i thought, "hey! My longtime mutual Castor will surely know what's up." Have you got any recs? Preferably something from the last year, so he's not likely to already own it. Sincerely, world's biggest Don't Touch That Dial fan.

Hello best friend anon! I'm not sure what kind of vibe you're going for/what type of SFF your roommate leans towards, so here's a variety of vibes

The list got long, so here's a read more!

Cozy/Domestic

Kaiju Preservation Society (Domestic Sci-Fi 100%! Kaiju like Godzilla are kinda real and their gigantic interdimensional creatures most of the characters study like secret zoologistis. Except the MC. They lift boxes.) 🌈friendly

Legends & Lattes* (I know little about this book beyond sapphic fantasy running a coffee shop. If he likes cozy fantasy and is in bookish spaces, h knows about this. If not, but he seems like he’d dig it, he’ll love that you go it for him!) 🌈

We Could Be Heroes (Slightly older, but not well known. Very down to earth superhero/supervillain friendship where tone of them saw their mind powers and was like oh geez um I guess I’m supposed to rob a bank? and the other saw their super speed and went sweet I’m gonna get all the delivery tips) 🌈ish

Even Though I Knew the End (Magical noir. I’m counting this as domestic because a lot of the plot revolves around the MC’s partner and their shared life, as well as her motivations towards keeping her brother save and thriving. This would also fit under “mystery” though) 🌈

Weird and/or Unhinged

The Atlas Six* (Underground government picks taps someone to join per each division, but 5 of them are 100% gonna die) 🌈

Anything by Jason Pargin (AKA JDATE or Zoey Ashe*. JDATE books can be read as standalones and the newest one is about a gamified kids toy that’s demanding human body parts so a cult can summon something to end the world)

City of Nightmares (Gotham atmosphere, if you fall asleep you might turn into your literal nightmare. MC’s sister turned into a giant spider and ate her father, MC is both afraid of everything and willing to threaten people with violence in order to get what she wants, which is, namely, not in terrifying positions like being kicked out onto the street) 🌈friendly

Hell Followed With Us (If he’s horror leaning, and/or into trans people embracing the monstrous and destroying evangelical cults! Though if he is and he spends time in bookish spaces, he may already know of/have read this one) 🌈

The Sky is Yours (Not a new book, but not one ever talked about so probably safe. Basically a Jetsons future, except they can’t use most of their cool technology or thrive because they’ve been being tormented by dragons for like 80 years that won’t stop burning their city down. This one is also kinda satire styled.)

Mystery

Self Portrait With Nothing (Magical portraits, lost mothers, off beat and kinda weirdly emotional while also having a bit of a mystery plot. Extra points if he’s into The Raven Cycle or The Dreamer Trilogy at all.) 🌈friendly

The Library of the Dead* (Edinburgh based urban fantasy with an amateur detective tapping into the occult. Also, ghosts!)

The Bruising of Qilwa (A novella about immigration/xenophobia and a also mysterious, fatal illness that may be murder.) 🌈friendly

Witness of the Dead* (Came out about a year and a half ago. This is a mystery set against politics in a steampunk fantasy world, and is sure to be a bit dense in spots. It's a companion novel to The Goblin Emperor) 🌈

Questy

Last Exit (Plays out like the end of an epic. Former friends from college have to reunite and cross world again as darkness slips out and they try to reach their long lost leader, left to the other side.)🌈

Soulswift (A little older, but not by much. Girl gets semi possessed by the god of another culture’s religion AKA the Lilith figure in her own religion that she’s a nun in. Forced allyship & forced proximity leading to a lot of cultural understanding and romance, on the way to make sure she doesn’t actually die.)

Lost in the Moment and Found (In a series of novellas, but works as a standalone. Girl finds a door to the place lost things go, and enjoys adventure- but things aren’t as they seem. Big content warning for grooming & attempted SA!)

The Stardust Thief* (A thief, a Djinn, and a prince have to go on a quest for a legendary magical lamp! Based on 1001 Nights.)

Gay!

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance (Treaty based marriage with an assassination plot ramping up the tension. Big big content warning for SA and PTSD!)

A Marvellous Light (Murder mystery with magic and forced allyship/coworkers to lovers between a magician and a regular Londoner who accidentally got the job.)

Light From Uncommon Stars (This could also passably go under the Weird category, but it’s just so inherently queer it needed to be here. Women takes souls of violin prodigies to win back hr own soul. The other main character a formerly homeless transwoman sex worker who suffered abuse, and the teacher’s love interest is an alien with kids including an AI daughter, who’s super into running her donut shop. It’s also very diaspora and Asian centric!)

*have not read yet

#🌈friendly simply means there are queer characters in secondary slots or the queerness of the character is entirely incidental #wooh sorry for the big list #anon #book list #bookish #bookblr #starrlikesbooks

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that-one-i-think · 9 months

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Being trans and in college

I am in my first semester in college and it has been rough. Due to some mess ups in my financial aid it is really expensive. I am a trans man trying to enter a stem field and it is rough.

My first problem was dorms, my college has mandatory dorming on campus your first year so I was terrified that I wouldn't get a nice roommate. My trans friends were unable to afford to go to my college and I don't blame them, I am barely scrapping by myself, I wasn't able to bring my safety net.

Unfortunately for me, I did end up having to apply for a new roommate because my first one ended up not liking the fact I was trans. She couldn't stand the idea of rooming with me and neither could her parents so I had to put in all of the work to get a new room. That ended up being a major issue and instead of one of us simply having our rooms changes, the school tried to put me in a dorm by myself that would end up costing 2000+ more than my original dorm.

After getting continuous hate from the girl and her mother, I ended up having to report her and she got kicked out and I don't have to spend an addition 2000 more on my dorm. Trans people normally already have a really low income, hormones are not cheap and unfortunately, trying to find a safe place for us can be more expensive than the average person.

I am unfortunate enough to live in Texas and while I do go to a college that is excepting of trans people (with few notable exceptions) I can never truly be myself lest the transphobic hand of the law come down and try to tear my happiness away. I am constantly afraid that all of the money I have put into college will be stripped away because I have to leave the state. It is also almost impossible to find work and I am starting to lose hope that I will be okay and that it is all worth it. I am using a scholarship to hall me and I hope that other trans people who are aiming for college can also apply to this scholarship.

#TransgenderFirst #Transgender scholarship #trans college #college

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ilikeyoshi · 10 months

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haha. ah.

i finally figured out where all these nightmares of 'being blamed and severely punished by my aunt and/or ucle' are coming from. i thought it was anxiety about being 'too autistic' for them, and i think it's still kinda that, but it's also definitely very much an ongoing (five years and counting) issue of having to perform. to consider my every action with extreme care, lest i be declared 'not fun to live with' and get my whole family (mom/sister/me) kicked onto the street.

i can't say anything 'rude' to them. even though they're racist every fucking day. even though they yell at their kid over every stupid thing imaginable, including when he yells back, which they taught him. even though they're crazy fucking conservatives who think chinese people are the source of all evil. even though they've repeatedly brought covid into this house and threatened all of us, including my mom with chronic bronchitis and my sister with a history of asthma, by doing so. even though i hate them more with every passing day for how utterly heartless they are about everything from delivery drivers who don't speak much english to all their trans and gay friends they claim to love so much.

they think i'm a "good liberal" because i "don't care" about all that "crazy extremist stuff". and like. i'm so fucking tired. i'm sick to goddamn death of it. but we can't leave for 2 1/2 more years. they saved our fucking lives and in return i have to sit through some of the grossest fucking tirades i've ever heard because genuinely, if living with us isn't "fun and cool and easy" for them, they might kick us out. some days i wish they'd have just sold the last house out from under us (like they were going to so their daughter could go to college. you know, just make four people fucking homeless) and i was living out of a damn minivan in california right now. it'd be torture but at least i wouldn't have to lie and lie and lie about myself just to keep a roof over my family's head.

i remember when i was doing this with my parents. when i was scared of coming out to them, as a lesbian or as agender, so i didn't for a long time, i lied about everything i am. all the secrecy and performing eats the fuck away at you. i was exhausted. i'm exhausted now.

but at least i knew in the back of my head my parents wouldn't actually kick me out. at least, despite all the fear from what i'd seen other friends endure with their families, i knew mine would accept me if i could just speak. but when my mom tells me we have to be 'pleasant roommates' because she, SHE believes her own brother might throw us out otherwise... seeing all the shit they say about goddamn everything...

i think that's where all these nightmares are coming from. they're always about me 'breaking' the performance and being attacked as if by wolves. they're simultaneously terrifying and Fucking Cathartic. what i wouldn't GIVE to scream up and down the house about how much i hate them.

two and a half more years and we can get the fuck out of here. no more performing. no more whittling myself down to an absolute mockery of my own humanity just so we can be 'pleasant', like fucking pets they bought on a whim and would dump on a deserted road if we stopped being 'fun to have around'. maybe then i'll stop having the nightmares.

#huge ugly vent post sorry #i hate my current living situation lmao #yoshi talks //

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edoro · 1 year

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OC characterization: 3, 12, 14, 15, foooor... Jackson!

3. What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC? - well, i don't know if it's "irrational" exactly but he has some pretty intense sensory issues so certain noises will just make him SO upset. cannot stand being in the same room as other people who are eating because the sound of chewing or cutlery clinking/scraping on plates makes him want to commit murder and/or cry.

Jackson tends to get easily annoyed but also gets over it pretty quickly... he'll sulk for a few minutes and then be fine. things happening unexpectedly or mild disappointments can upset him a lot, like finding out he's unexpectedly out of his favorite cereal or something like that...

also, when he acquires his beautiful kitty Cheesecake, he WILL demand that people greet her, and he WILL get mad if they ignore her when they walk past her or she comes into the room.

also a lot of times the degree to which Laurence insists on Following The Rules Because They Are The Rules drives him up the wall. he needs things to make sense, and a lot of the stuff Laurence insists is important just does not make sense to him.

12. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies their neighbors? - everything about Jackson is confusing to people who don't know him lmao. he's never seen outside without the wrap-around mirrored shades of a celebrity trying to avoid the paparazzi. his gender is ??? and his presentation ranges from "androgynous pajama casual" to "sugar baby being taken on a date to a black tie event" with no apparent rhyme or reason. his response to being spoken to by strangers is to either stare in wide-eyed silence or to immediately begin enthusiastically rambling about whatever topic happens to be on his mind at the moment and he has little to no concept of "conversational norms."

he doesn't interact much with the neighbors except for accompanying Max on his hikes and walks to reduce the chances of someone calling the cops on him for WWB, however he DOES have a number of habits that concern his partners/roommates, such as:

-creeping around in the middle of the night with all the lights off (he sees very well in the dark) to sneak food

-hiding in spaces like under the bed, in the closet, or under the coffee table to chill out and accidentally (or sometimes on purpose) jumpscaring people

-taking care of any and all illnesses or injuries on his own or with his twin's help

14. What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for? - lol. lmao.

uhhh pretty much literally everything, starting with "why did you even decide to have us in the first place?" and going from there. Laurence and Jackson were born to a single trans father who went to some length and expense to get pregnant with them using a sperm bank, and he proceeded to raise them both in the most insane way possible, keeping them incredibly isolated and trying to mold them both into his personal little ideal doll children based on his whack-a-doodle gender norms.

Jackson would especially personally like to know why he was the target of so much more outright physical violence than Laurence was, and why their dad just seemed to never really like him from the start. they were both horrifically abused, but Jackson's abuse included a degree of open sadism that was much more subtle in Laurence's, and he still doesn't really understand why he was singled out that way in particular.

also, he does NOT get why their dad divided up the chores the way he did. it seems so arbitrary! and even when Laurence (pre-coming out) WANTED to do 'boy chores', their dad wouldn't let him! absolute bullshit!

he just really wants an explanation for like... his entire life.

15. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been? - oh SUPER often. Jackson dissociates a ton, at times severely enough that he'll lose hours-long chunks of time.

the biggest problem, for the most part, is that he'll spend a while doing things and then just not remember what he did during that time, which freaks him out. sometimes he'll just kind of end up sleeping or doing nothing all day, just sort of sitting and staring or wandering vaguely around.

he's also gotten VERY lost trying to do things like go to the store or go outside on his own, where he forgets what he's doing or where he's going or why he's there or where he is and gets turned around and confused. it makes it hard for him to hold conversations because he can't remember what people just said or what he was going to say, and often struggles to really verbalize his thoughts at all (or even HAVE thoughts.)

he's hurt himself doing stuff around the house because he forgot he was holding something sharp or touched something hot or things like that. on occasion he's burned food or left a burner on or things like that, which used to get him punished when he and Laurence lived with their dad.

his memory of his own life up until his dad died and he and Laurence moved in with Max and Emmy is really fragmented and spotty. there's a lot of stuff he just doesn't remember at all, including some specific things that happened to him while Laurence was away at college that kind of suddenly come back after a couple of years which are pretty hard for him to process and deal with.

he needs a lot of reminders about what to do/house rules/where people are/what their routines are, and he often ends up leaving himself notes to tell himself what he was doing because otherwise he'll forget later. he also often will forget that someone left and need to be reassured that it's okay and they're coming back.

#jackson #he has problems!#<-blorbos from my brain #asks #ask games

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everysongineverykey · 2 years

Text

I posted 5,679 times in 2022

1,712 posts created (30%)

3,967 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wrightfamily

@jonathanrook

@you-can-always-come-home

@lieutenant-columbro

@neitherlightnordark

I tagged 4,490 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#deltarune - 260 posts

#dhmis - 147 posts

#don't hug me i'm scared - 114 posts

#the stanley parable - 113 posts

#undertale - 53 posts

#oh... - 38 posts

#star trek ds9 - 36 posts

#💙 - 34 posts

#snowgrave - 34 posts

#donations - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#who. wh. whooogohorowhwhwogoohowooebo💖💖❤💖💚💜💚💜💙💜💜💚💜❤💘💚💕💛💕💙💜💙💜💞💞💕💝💗💕💙💙💜💞💞💜💜💗💙💞💕❤💞💙💜💞💞💖💙💙💖💙💕

My Top Posts in 2022:

in a world where so much queer rep in big media is overly sanitized and watered down to the point where it's respectful but terribly boring as character writing due to writers being terrified of getting criticized for "bad queer rep", toby fox making a trans man who's a self-obsessed, fame-drunk, vainglorious trashy pop star (and also a tyrant in the king mettaton ending), a bi character who straight up accidentally turned a bunch of monsters into horrifying melty abominations and then locked them in her basement and didn't tell anyone about it for literal years before she learned that hiding from her mistakes was killing her and came clean, a lesbian who starts the game as an intimidating school bully and in whose first big moment we see her slam the main character against a wall and threaten to eat their face before she learns to open up and connect with and trust others, a trans woman who tries to kill you twice in the game and is always delightfully mean to everyone until she gets some understanding and the body she needs to be happy, a traumatized nonbinary kid who hated their own species so much they killed themself just to get their revenge and free monsters in death, and a nonbinary cat who has been through so much shit and is so nihilistic that at this point, if push came to shove and all looked lost for the heroes, they would be content to sit back and let the world end- i'm being totally serious. toby fox making those kinds of queer characters, making them messy and imperfect and scarred and letting them grow as people but still do terrible things as part of that process, that constitutes HEROISM

3,213 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

HELP???

3,622 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

kris dreemurr is so awesome. the protagonist ever. they eat moss. their best friends are a purple dragon lesbian and a goat with glasses. they do speedruns. they have their very own knife that belongs to them that everyone recognizes as kris' knife. they ripped out their soul and locked it in a cage and went all red-eyes-looking-at-the-camera-with-a-knife and then did literally nothing but eat an entire pie. they eat entire pies on a regular basis. they eat dog treats and lick book pages. they make their own bath bombs just to throw them in the toilet. they slashed their mum's car tires. they're even nonbinary

5,353 notes - Posted January 16, 2022

dhmis is great because imagine a series centered around three roommates living in a small incredibly isolated house in a story run by a strange omnipotent woman with unclear motivations who amuses herself by tormenting the roommates over and over again in various awful ways by dangling something new and exciting in front of their faces and then making it backfire horribly thus traumatizing them all and often maiming and killing them and they can't escape because they're nothing but puppets in her little show and they're chained to a narrative that will not let them go and one roommate is a naive kid with a sadistic father who traumatizes him horribly when he isn't neglecting him and also eats people and another roommate is almost aware of his situation but will never be able to save himself or his friends and is constantly rejected by his own kind and only wants to leave the tiny house but nothing, no one, will play along and the third roommate is caught in the middle, not a naive child but not quite meta aware, and thus is doomed to fall victim to the same traps over and over and also they're literally the only three people in their entire world besides the evil things that keep intruding in their home and terrorizing them and they can't call for help. ok and now imagine they look like this

6,077 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

if i were toby fox i would tweet "so honoured that megalovania was played in front of the pope yesterday! especially since i've always thought of sans as catholic" and then turn off my phone

32,323 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#this makes sense lmao #man. the longest tag... that was almost definitely columbo lol #and i was RIGHT <3

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multi-lefaiye · 2 years

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hi hello hi may we hear about the fictional gay people in ur head

HI hello i meant to answer this last night but. well. y'know how it is with mental illness.

anyway

so the main fictional gay people living in my head rent free right now are arthur huffman and noah phan, the protagonists of my wip for we are both fragile things.

i have a LOT of thoughts about both of them and i'm honestly not sure where to begin, so i'll just talk a little about them both at the start of the story.

arthur huffman is a white, cis, gay man from somewhere in northern texas. he comes from an upper middle-class family that isn't quite conservative, but they're definitely... not great, and at the start of the story he's struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia due to how he was raised. his parents also walk the thin between "not outwardly abusive" and "not good loving parents". they love him less as a person and more as an investment for their legacy and their future.

he has some serious trauma and is terrified of failure, abandonment, and disappointing his parents, but he covers it all up with a sweet smile and a charming, easygoing attitude. even if he's not the most educated on a lot of social issues, he's very much willing and excited to learn and support those around him. arthur is very outgoing and loves to befriend people who look like they're having a hard time, just so he can try and put a smile on their face. if he can't make himself happy, he'd like to make others happy at least.

at the start of the story, arthur is 20 (almost 21) and a junior in college, attending the same university (which i actually still need to name oops) as noah. arthur has recently changed his major from engineering to communications, specializing in journalism. his parents aren't happy with him for that despite this being a great decision for his mental and emotional wellbeing, so he's trying to get back on their good side.

noah phan is an asian-american (specifically vietnamese), trans, gay man from somewhere in western montana. he comes from a rather small, but very liberal/left-leaning community and was raised by a loving single mom after his father passed away when he was young. noah has never doubted that his mother loves him, but he struggles deeply with his identity and the fact that his mother has suffered and sacrificed so much for him and his younger sister. he wants to be strong and support his family, but he doesn't know where to start, and at the beginning of the story he's very much fallen into the habit of pushing his own problems aside so his mother has less to worry about.

noah has a serious case of depression, and at the start of fragile things he has only recently realized that he is trans and is dealing with that. however, he is still very much in the closet, and he hasn't told anyone except a couple of people he talks to online through forums and such. he feels isolated and has trouble reaching out to others, which has made it hard for him to make friends. at the start of the story, he has a very small friend group, made up of his roommate nina, her ex-girlfriend emma (they ended on good terms and are still close), and a classmate named tina. part of him is happy with the small friend group, but he still feels incredibly lonely.

at the start of the story, noah is 18 (almost 19) and a freshman/first-year in college at the same university as arthur. he hasn't decided his major just yet and is overwhelmed by all the options, but he likes the idea of becoming a teacher someday, if he can. noah loves children and loves interacting with them, and he thinks he might make a good teacher if he can just get over some of his anxiety first.

arthur and noah meet in the spring semester of noah's freshman year, in an Intro to Sociology course. arthur notices noah sitting alone in the back of the room looking sad and nervous, and he decides to plop down next to him and strike up a conversation.

okay this got a little longer than i meant for it to, so here's a rapid-fire little list of facts:

noah's favorite music genre is modern rock, whereas arthur's favorite is (predictably) country. they learn to appreciate each other's music taste more as they get to know each other.

arthur has a really good singing voice.

noah actually dreamed of being an author as a child, but he doesn't feel like that's a realistic goal for him. he still writes in his spare time, though.

noah is taller than arthur. i need to emphasize this. noah is 6'1" (~185 cm) and arthur is 5'11" (~180 cm).

when they start the story, arthur has also recently broken up with his latest girlfriend, because yes i'm gonna go ahead and establish this but arthur definitely tried to date women because he was THAT in denial about being gay. he's still gay though, make no mistake.

noah knows logically that his mother would probably be, at most, a little confused but ultimately accepting of his gender. however, he's so determined to make things as easy for her as possible that he's terrified of saying anything. no i'm not projecting <3

arthur really likes pokemon, but noah doesn't understand it. cue arthur very excitedly and enthusiastically explaining pokemon to noah, who's nodding and smiling but still doesn't quite get it. (he very much gets arthur pokemon platinum for his birthday one year <3)

okay that's all. i love these two so fucking much <3

(also yeah, noah later changes his name to ink nikodemos by the time bleeding over eden begins, but he does so to distance himself from the trauma he experiences relating to arthur's death. because ultimately noah phan died with arthur huffman, even if it wasn't a physical death.)

#talk to the bunnykitty #bat time all the time #long post #this got so long i'm so sorry ASDJF;K #fragile things wip #ink nikodemos #arthur huffman #i might make a separate tag for noah but. he and ink are the same character. idk we'll see #also re: noah's race #i am white and don't want to tell a story that isn't mine to tell. so the story isn't going to center-stage #the specific struggles faced by many asian americans #i won't erase them. they will be discussed. i'm not going to pretend him being asian american isn't going to affect him #and i am doing research and talking to people in that regard #as much as i can #however! again i don't think it's my place to write a story About Being Asian. if any of that makes sense #not saying all of this to start discourse tbh i'm thinking out loud here #realize this could've been a separate post but idk #sorry for the mile long post and tags <3

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