#but he genuinely tries to help us!!! he's sentimental over his things!!! and we KNOW mindflayers arent all fans of the grand design bullshi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kingconia · 9 months

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DIASOMNIA BOYS WITH OLD-FASHIONED S/O, WHO WRITES AND SENDS THEM LETTERS, INSTEAD OF USING THE PHONE

Sebek Zigvolt.

— He is so confused. Malleus is bad at technics, too, but at least he knows what the fuck phone is;

— Sebek genuinely tries to teach you how to use the phone, but you are refusing to use it, and saying that you prefer writing letters for him;

— Okay, he finds it cute now, because your letters find him in an expected moments, as a big surprise, and he starts waiting for them on the daily basis;

— But he will not write you back. Sorry, it would take too much time, and he is a busy man. But! He keeps all of your letters, and marks down topics from them that he will discuss with you in personal meeting. He is attentive, of course.

•

”Ha,” Jack smirks, leaning closer to Sebek. ”Are you reading love letters again? You are so red, it is embarrassing.”

Sebek is, indeed, flushed. He always is, when he opens your envelopes—you tuck in it his favourite flowers, and write such a beautiful things, that he can't help but feel embarrassed.

’My dear Sebek,

I hope this letters finds you well, and with your undying energy that lightens my day refilled by simple meal, or, perhaps, even a nap. And, please, accept those hyacinths. They are for you, and only. I hope you like them as much as I like you.

Today, I only wished to tell you the story of my...’

”Shut it...” He murmur to his classmate, pressing letter to his chest shyly.

The flowers you sent him would be in his hair for the rest of the day.

And no one would dare comment on that.

Lilia Vanrouge.

— Well, Lilia is more modern despite his age, so he is a little bit surprised by your strange habits. Just as Sebek, asks you if he needs to teach you how use your phone, but when you refuse, he gets over it easily;

— Your letters offer him the strangest nostalgia of the past, and he can't say if likes them, or if they are bringing up not his most pleasant memories;

— Lilia, I think, would rarely write you back. Yet, he appreciates how much you think of him. He, too, would rather send you an invitation for the little lunch date;

— Lilia doesn't keep all of your letters, but the most important ones are always tucked in his room, in the very safe place.

•

”Ah,” Lilia blinks, surprised as he notices only now, that there is letter in the pocket of his coat. ”How do you...”

He sighs.

The main mystery, of course, is how you continue to sneak on him, leaving all these letters without Lilia, actually noticing it? He has an extra hearing and sight not for nothing! What is the secret?

”Oh, dear Y/n. Here you are.”

’My ethereal snowdrop,

how had you been? Tell me, if there is something bothering you? Your students, your son, headmaster Crowley? I hope it is not, but if anything touches your peace—tell me. I will try to take care of it in the best traditions.

But until now, I am here only to speak of my own troubles as I hope you want to listen... This morning, though, started uneventfully...’

Lilia stops in the middle of the corridor, and starts reading it with the greatest attention immediately.

He already plans to find you right after finishing reading that, and comfort you in his arms after the bad day you clearly had.

Silver Vanrouge.

— He is flattered by the fact that you decide to spend your time on writing to him all these letters, and he doesn't ask you to use phone: he accepts this strangeness easily;

— Whenever he has a short nap, he wakes up with a new letter on his lap, and it is the best part of his day, to be quite honest. He also kinda puts all of your letters on the walls of his room...

— Once he decides that he wants to return your sentiment as well, and so, he asks Lilia to teach him how to write letters in his very aloof manner as you do;

— He writes not so often, but he tries really hard to do that everyday. And eventually his slightly awkward attempts became better and better.

•

'Good evening, dear and well-respected Y/n!

I genuinely apologise for writing so late this time. If it wasn't for Sebek annoying trying to teach me how to take better care of Malleus, I would finish my duties quicker.

I think, there is nothing interesting for me to tell you about. My days are all the same and your letters the only thing that makes them slightly happier. I doubt you will find it that entertaining.

So, please, tell me about yours, instead.

With love, Silver.’

Malleus Draconia.

— Finally! Finally someone as old and inexperienced in technics as him!

— Jokes aside, but Malleus is really grateful for having another old soul around. He instantly agrees on constant letters exchange with you, and he also considers it to be courting;

— You write each other so often and so much, pouring your souls in these letters, obsessively opening up each other about everything and everyone, that others are almost worried;

— Just let these poor victorian kids to flirt in their own way!

•

’...My agonising salvation, Y/n,

your letter arrived just now, and reading your poems, made my heart flatter with so much easiness as if it was the butterfly wings, clapping against the air. I had never dreamed of the day, when I would be blessed by such a treatment, and yet...’

’Oh, the malady to all of my sufferings, Malleus,

though I sent you a letter in a while, as I am still waiting for yours to return to me, I can't help but send another one, just right after, since my soul cannot bear this happiness all alone...’

”All of these... Sounds unhealthy,” Sebek mutters, confused, as the three of them stare at the desk of Malleus that is now filled completely by many letters; some of them are yours, and others are drafts of his, rewritten and scrapped down. ”Should we do something?”

”Come on,” Silver groans. ”They are just in love.”

”How can you he so easygoing when it is Malleus-sama that—”

”I think,” Lilia interrupts another possible argument between these two, ”we should just leave them alone. They are happy as they are.”

And with that, they close the doors behind them slowly.

They shouldn't had seen these letters anyway...

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia vanrouge #silver twst #silver x reader #sebek x reader #sebek zigvolt #sebek zigvolt x reader

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xoxoavenger · 5 months

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ANOTHER STEVE’S PROBLEM PLEASEEEEE

The Holiday Party

summary: Unexpected developments go down at the Party's holiday party.

word count: 1699

warnings: none

previous part next part series masterlist

12 Days of Christmas main masterlist

The holiday party was going much better than Y/N expected.

After Steve had effectively moved in with Y/N, having only had to sneak back in once to grab the rest of his clothes and his few sentimental items, the two had found a sort of routine. Y/N would wake up and make breakfast, getting James ready and beginning some chores. Steve would go to work, coming back in the afternoon to take care of James while Y/N went to work. She's bring dinner home from the diner, and they'd both put James to bed as if they were a domestic family and she hadn't met Steve just a couple months ago.

Steve uses the top sheet to sleep on the couch, folding them every morning and keeping them in the corner of the living room. When he's left alone with James, his favorite thing to do is tell James stories. Very watered-downed versions of what happened in the Upside Down ("Robin and I worked at at an ice cream shop. I know, ice cream is yummy. And underneath the ice cream shop was an evil lair, which is just a fancy word for bad people's homes.") and even about movies. He had read in one of Y/N's parenting books that he had looked at while James napped that it was important to talk as much as possible around babies so they could learn a lot of different words. And he thinks Y/N may have noticed when she complained about the neighbors littering, saying they were"bad people" and James screamed "layin!" She had looked at Steve with squinted eyes. All he could do was laugh.

"How's living with dingus?" Robin asks, walking up to Y/N. They're at Nancy's house, since the kids were also there, and her parents had agreed to take Holly away for the night so they could have a big sleepover. They had promised the kids wouldn't drink, but Y/N was two margaritas in and comfortable enough to only keep one eye on James as he played in the living room with Lucas and Elle.

"It's actually much easier than living alone." She admits, looking over the table of drinks.

"Really?" Robin sounded so genuinely shocked it made Y/N look up.

"Yes? She answers, turning to face her friend. "Why wouldn't it be? We have two sets of income, two pairs of hands to help with James." She leaves out the part where it feels nice to have someone care for her and her son. "And it doesn't hurt to have a man in the house in my neighborhood." She adds quietly, almost ashamed to admit it. Before Steve moved in, she had been so terrified some nights of a break in that she would barely sleep, getting up to check every lock multiple times. Now, she didn't worry as much, knowing that Steve could protect her and James.

"Sounds more like you're married." Robin said offhandedly, and if Y/N was drinking something she would have choked. Instead she just scoffed, trying to school her face as her cheeks heated.

"The society we live in, hey?" Y/N mutters, turning back toward the drinks. She decides on some eggnog that she had seen the kids drink, ladling it into her cup. She brings it to her lips and tries it, noting a unique - but not bad - taste. She's never tried eggnog before, but she likes it.

"You're tellin' me." Robin ladles herself some eggnog, taking a large gulp as they turn to take in the rest of the party. Y/N sees Steve arguing with Dustin in the corner and decides to go out on a limb.

"Does Steve ever," Her confidence fades halfway through the sentence, not sure if Robin would tell her best friend about what she was going to ask.

"Talk about you? He never shuts up, actually. Especially now that you live together." Robin answers, and Y/N tries not to think about the fact that she just implied that Steve talked about her before they were even living together.

She thinks that Steve enjoys their living arrangement as well, even though sometimes she can't help but think about the fact that she had took him away from a life of luxury and basically holed him away in a trailer park. The single time she brought this up, Steve shushed her and told her he liked this life better. He had told her that he wouldn't go back even if his parents offered. That was the night that he had come clean about what his parents had done to him, how they had neglected him his whole life and how they were probably gonna move anyway.

"Like the eggnog?" Robin asks as Y/N takes another sip.

"Yeah. I've never had it before, it's good." She brings it to her lips once more.

"I spiked it." Robin says it so nonchalantly that this time Y/N does choke on her drink, putting it down on the counter as she struggles to breathe.

"That's good." Y/N nods, wiping her mouth. She's glad she brought James' overnight bag, because there's no way she's leaving now. He screams just then, as if her thinking of him somehow made him aware that he had not seen her in an hour.

"I don't know how you dod it." Robin mutters as Y/N rushes over to her baby, who is crying like he's been hurt. It scares her, because usually when he cries like this he has been hurt, but when she gets there it seems, he's most likely tired. She looks over his body while he cries, his little fists holding tight to her shirt.

"I can put him to sleep if you wanna keep talking to Robin." Steve offers, but Y/N shakes her head as she stands with James in her arms. She stumbles, not enough to actually fall, but Steve still grabs her. "Or maybe we should all just go home." She's just going to pretend that him saying that didn't make her want to melt into a puddle on the ground.

"Robin spiked the eggnog." Y/N mutters as they walk away. Steve's eyes widen.

"Henderson!" He yells, scaring James. Dustin chugs the rest of his drink before Steve can yell at him more, but James' cries pull Steve away from the teen and back to Y/N and her son.

"I feel bad you're always leaving your friends to help with James." She admits as she goes to the extra room that everyone had agreed could be theirs. Y/N and Steve hadn't slept in the same bed yet, and she's not sure if Steve's going to leave before they go to bed or if he'd be willing to share a bed. She thinks Steve likes her in the way she likes him, but she has a kid and she's sure that Steve could do better.

"I like helping." He says, putting the pack-n-play they had brought up. James was very fussy tonight however, and the second Y/N put him down he screamed. He usually wasn't this angry about going to bed, so Y/N checked his diaper.

"Maybe he doesn't like being in a new place?" Steve suggests when Y/N leans back against the headboard, James in her arms. He's quieter now, sniffling as he squirms in an effort to stay awake.

"He went to bed so easily at Eddie's a couple months ago." She says, breathing deeply when Steve got up and turned the light off. "He's gonna be awhile if you wanna go back out there." She says quietly, turning her face to see him when he gets on the bed next to her.

"How many time do I have to tell you we're in this together?" He asks, and she's glad he can't see her face in the dark. She puts James between them and lays down, letting James grab onto his own feet and play with them. He'll eventually tire himself out.

"I just don't understand." She's barely speaking, trying to keep the noise down so James goes to sleep soon.

"What's not to understand?" He puts a hand on James' belly to rub it and calm him down.

"I'm not a normal girl. I'm not going to be able to give you what you want. I was barely able to live in the trailer park before you came and helped. I have a baby, and he's never going away." She wasn't sure why she was explaining this as if Steve didn't know, but she couldn't help herself. It was quiet for a minute, the two of them just barely able to look at each other in the darkness.

"I hope not." Steve finally says, scooting closer to her. She scoots close to him, sandwiching James in the middle. "I don't want a normal girl. I don't want you any way that you aren't. I don't like you in spite of you being a mother, I like you because you're a mother. An amazing one." Y/N moves to hide her tears, not wanting to admit that Steve's words have hit her in a place she's never felt before.

Steve, unfortunately, doesn't understand this.

"Shit, was that too much? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He's leaning up, which makes James roll slightly to him. "I'm so sorry, I only-" He doesn't get to finish his sentence because Y/N has pushed herself up, careful of James, before pressing her lips to his. He's shocked for a second, but he quickly puts a hand on her face to angle her into a deeper kiss. She gets into it, forgetting that her baby is right in between them until he screams. Y/N chuckles as she pulls back, laying back down as James giggles before yawning.

"You're tired, love." Y/N tells him, and he scrunches his nose.

"That make two of us." Steve yawns, settling back into the pillows.

"Yeah," Y/N agrees, laying her head down. She's just resting her eyes while James falls asleep, then she'll go out and party with her friends. She's just resting her eyes because James had been up all night teething.

She's just resting her eyes for awhile, and then her and Steve will talk about what that was.

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @mcueveryday @xxhellfirebunnyxxxx @parkershoco @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @peculiarwren @freezaz123 @mads-weasley @johnricharddeacy @sweetdreamsshifter @param8re @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @fangisms @alicetweven @damon-loves-pie @gaysludge @l0v3e1i @luvrsbian @zulpix-blog @scarletwitchwhore @taylortheyellowlobster @ash5monster01 @nix-rose @loving-and-dreaming

#steve harrington #steve's problem #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve x reader #steve harrington fanfic

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rubberfuckey · 11 months

Text

summary: After a worried phone call from Wheezie, you decide to come back to Kildare.

part one part two part three part four part five part six part seven

wc: 2k

a/n: i just want to thank everyone for all the support in this series! as always, let me know what you think! hope y'all love it! part eight already, only two parts left!

warning: mentions of drugs & smut (:

masterlist

talk to me

You woke up the next morning feeling like you were still in a dream. Rafe was holding onto you as your chest lay flat on his chest. You hugged your arms around him tighter, nuzzling your head further into him.

“Good morning,” he laughed.

“Not close enough,” you mumbled, trying to push yourself closer to him.

He grabbed your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss before you snapped your head back, “No! Morning breath!”

You tried to push him away but he was too strong and pulled you in for a kiss anyways.

“I don’t care,” he mumbled into the kiss. You sighed happily, kissing him back. You moved to straddle him, pulling him closer with your arms around his neck. You rocked your hips against him, desperate for some friction. He held your hips and rocked you faster, groaning as he bit your lip. You grabbed his hands to move them lower, giving him the message that you wanted more.

He shook his head into the kiss and sighed, “Slow, Y/N.”

You whined, “Why are you using my words against me?”

“I don’t want you to feel like we rushed into things. We have the rest of our lives to spend together.”

He tried to butter you up with the sweet sentiment but it wasn’t working right now.

“After the way you ate me out last night, fuck going slow. I want all of you back.”

He genuinely smiled at your statement, he loved when you got all needy for him. He still shook his head, moving you off of him to stand up and grab his shirt. You sat there pouting at him and he rolled his eyes teasingly, bending down to give you a kiss.

“I have some calls to make if we’re going to have a party tonight.”

You nodded and stood up to pack some stuff for tonight and tomorrow. Walking down the stairs you see your mom making pancakes in the kitchen, “Good morning guys!”

You both grumbled a good morning in return.

“I’m making pancakes, would you like some?”

You looked at Rafe as he subtly shook his head.

“No, Rafe has some stuff to take care of and I’m gonna have to help. Thanks though!”

You gave her a hug and you both said your goodbyes as you started the drive back to his house. You made sure to water the flowers and he went in the house, on the phone with someone to get a keg for tonight. You lay on the lounger by the pool as you waited for him, still thinking about ways you could convince him to fuck you. You knew he wanted to, so why hold back if you both want it? He came outside to sit next to your outstretched legs. Your skin was glowing and you looked so happy.

“This guy wants a $200 tip for same-day delivery on the keg, what a fucking idiot.”

“Obviously he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with.”

“Obviously not,” he chuckled, resting his hand on your leg.

“What needs to be done? What can I do to help?”

“Just keep laying here looking sexy as fuck, it’s a great motivator.”

“Oh yeah?” You laughed.

“Yeah,” he pressed a sloppy kiss on your forehead before his phone rang and he got up to take the call. You pulled yourself up and decided that if you weren’t going to help you could at least get a quick tan in. You grabbed your bag and walked inside to change into the bandeau bikini you brought. You laid back on the lounge, rubbing some tanning oil over your stomach when you noticed Rafe looking over at you from the balcony. You smiled and gave him a flirty wave before he shook his head with a bite of his lip and turned to walk back into the house. You dozed off in the chair for a little while until you heard someone call your name, you opened your eyes to see Sarah walking over to the chair next to you.

“Oh my god! What are you doing here?” You asked excitedly.

“I ran out of clothes at John B’s,” she shrugged.

You smiled, “Did you see your brother yet?”

“No, not yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Rafe wants to have a party tonight, you should come.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” she hesitated, “I just don’t trust him, especially if he’s gonna be drunk or high.”

You nodded, you weren’t going to argue with that.

“I get it,” you said with a tone of disappointment. She instantly felt bad, maybe she could try to make it work.

“Maybe I could stay for the first hour or so? Leave before it can get too crazy.”

“Yes!” You cheered, jumping up to pull her into a hug, “I miss partying with you!”

“You and me both. I should probably go grab some clothes, John B is waiting for me in the Twinkie,” she looked nervous to go in.

“Want me to go in with you?” You asked.

She nodded quietly, “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

You walked in and passed Rafe on the stairwell, “Hi, Sarah.”

“Hey, Rafe.”

You squeezed her hand as she kept walking away from Rafe and up the stairs to her room. She let out a deep breath as she shut the door to her room. You were talking about what you were going to wear tonight before you heard a knock on her door, Rafe turned the knob to open it.

“Hey, Sarah. We’re uh, throwing a party tonight. If you wanted to come,” he said anxiously.

“Y/N told me.”

“Yeah, it should be fun. I got a keg, and I’m clean so- you know, no drugs,” he shrugged, he looked to you for encouragement as you gave him a small smile of support. She kept her back to him as she sighed, grabbing clothes out of her closet.

“I told Y/N I’d come by for like an hour.”

“Oh, really? Cool. Alright, we’ll see you later then?”

She just nodded her head and threw the clothes into a bag. You gave him a smile and he left the room. She just looked at you with an unreadable expression and you shrugged. You walked her down to the front door and waved to John B from where he sat in the Twinkie.

“Hey Y/N!” He yelled. You blew Sarah a kiss as she walked away backward, she laughed pretending to catch it until Rafe came up from behind you. Her face dropped and she turned back to the Twinkie, Rafe placing a hand on your hip as you watched them stare at you until they drove away.

“So you were able to find a keg on such short notice?”

“Yeah, I’m paying the jackass $100 extra dollars, but it’ll be here.”

“I think that deserves a celebratory drink, what do you think?”

He nodded as you grabbed the bottle of whiskey to pour him a glass. He grabbed all the ingredients to make your favorite cocktail and mixed them together quickly. You thanked him with a kiss to the corner of his mouth as you walked teasingly back to the lounge you were on earlier. He sighed, watching your hips sway, and followed you out.

After tanning and swimming around for a few hours while Rafe watched, you decided to get up and get ready for the party.

“I’m gonna go shower, okay?”

He nodded and you walked back into the house and upstairs to the bathroom. This was the perfect time to scheme. Conveniently, you ‘forgot’ a towel when you got in the shower. You washed your hair and the oil off your body before you reached for your phone sitting on the cabinet to FaceTime Rafe who was still outside, setting a few tables up around the yard.

“Hello?” He answered, confused.

“I forgot a towel.”

“Damn, maybe you should just walk around dripping wet and naked then.”

“I already am,” you replied, hinting at the double meaning of being wet. He hung up on you and walked upstairs. He grabbed a towel from the linen closet and walked into the bathroom. He should’ve known better than to expect you to be behind the shower curtain, protecting your modesty. You stood there, completely naked, watching him stick his arm out, handing you the towel. You thanked him sweetly and grabbed it. He stood there frozen, dick straining against his pants.

You sighed, “Rafe,”

“Y/N?” He questioned as you walked closer to him.

“Please let me return the favor?” You puppy dog eyed him.

You were nervous he was going to reject you but you put on a brave face and acted as confident as possible. You walked even closer, your hand ghosting over the top of his pants.

“I just want to make you feel as good as you made me feel last night.”

He sighed, moving his hips to make you feel his bulge.

You got down on your knees and unbuttoned his pants before stopping “Rafe, is this okay?”

“Yes,” he breathed as you pulled his pants down quickly. Your mouth watered looking at him through his boxers, it had been way too long. You missed it. You pulled his underwear down and ran your fingertips over his length as he shuddered.

His breathing got heavier as you teased his top with your thumb, “Don’t tease me, baby.”

You licked his tip, moving your hands up and down as he grabbed your head, holding your hair. You tasted his precum and decided he had had enough teasing, you didn’t want to hold back a second longer. You took his full length in your mouth, shoving him down your throat. He let out a guttural moan and you choked, tears filling your eyes.

“Damn, Y/N.”

You relaxed your throat and continued to take him, letting him fuck your throat. You moved your tongue around him as he thrusts faster. He looked down at you and you looked up through your eyelashes. His mouth fell open at the sight of you and he damn near whimpered.

“So fucking pretty.”

You moaned around him, bringing a hand up to cup his balls.

“Shit, baby, keep doing that, I’m close.”

You nodded as best as you could and sped up your movements. He groaned loudly and came down your throat before he could even think about pulling out. He panted as you swallowed before leaving a kiss on his tip, standing up in front of him. He kissed you roughly, backing you against the cabinet.

“Fuck me, Rafe,”

“Baby, I just came so hard it’s gonna take probably a few hours before I can even think about fucking you.”

You giggled and pushed against him to walk past him and to your bag. You plugged in your curling wand and grabbed your makeup bag, ready to get all dolled up for tonight. He left you to get ready as he lay on the bed, scrolling on his phone. After you were done, you walked back into his room to grab your underwear and party dress for the evening. You hid the underwear in the fold of your dress and closed the door behind you in the bathroom, making sure he doesn’t sneak a peek at what you would be wearing under the dress. You picked out a black lace balconette bra and thong, and garters for around your thighs, making sure they were high up enough for them to not be seen when you were wearing your dress. You walked out of the bathroom to see Rafe shirtless as he pulled his shirt on, his muscles flexed as he did so. You bit your lip and rubbed your thighs together, he looks good tonight. But so did you. You wanted the overwhelming sexual energy to diffuse, and there was only one way to accomplish that. You both walked downstairs together to pregame in the kitchen before people started showing up.

“You’re gonna wear your ring tonight?” Rafe asked.

You looked down at your hand, “Do you want me to?”

“Do I want everyone to know you’re mine?” He tapped his chin, pretending to think, “That’s a stupid question.”

You rolled your eyes but agreed silently, finishing your drink as you waited for people to start to show up.

part nine

tag list: @user3737338292 @koalalafications @mutual-mendes @allthesefanfics @f4ll-for-you @colbysbrocks @writtenwordslover @bibliophilewednesday @tahliac11 @five-seconds-flat @palmwinemami @m-indkiller

#rafe cameron #outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #outer banks imagine

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lavendertales · 1 year

Text

Sweet lies: Chapter 5

pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader

summary: the Millers invite everyone over at their place for Valentine’s day, and things have never felt lonelier for you. But the end of the night has a surprise twist for you.

word count: 5k

A/N: now we’re getting into the juicy part. huge thanks to @cheshire-noir for helping me with a good part of this!

Comments & reblogs are forever appreciated 💕

gif: @pascalsky

series masterlist | AO3

As much as you tried to remain the professional and hardworking person you have always been, that Friday had your mind spinning relentlessly.

Last night’s dinner was still fresh on your mind, taunting you alongside Frankie and Andrea. Worst part was that you actually liked Andrea. It was virtually impossible to nest any negative feelings towards someone so incredible.

But then you recalled Frankie’s hesitant side glares, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each nervous gulp he took, the sheer regretful expression on his face whenever the two of you locked eyes, and you wondered if somehow, maybe, he wasn’t so confident in his relationship.

It couldn’t have been. It was just your jealousy talking deep in your subconscious, giving you false hope. You’ve been down that road before, being fed up lies by your own mind and tricked by your heart. You did not need that again, and certainly not when Frankie was engaged.

You had to be on your best behavior. The two of you were no longer friends, but merely old acquaintances, so you shouldn’t have had an issue with giving him the cold shoulder. The farther he was from you, the better. Even if you had foolishly agreed to go to the Valentine’s Day bash that Will and Benny were throwing, that didn’t mean you could act reckless.

So you came up with a plan.

“Good news, your girl finished her presentation early, which means I am available for some weekend fun,” Rose’s confident voice giggles over the phone.

It’s a little over eleven p.m., and you’re already half asleep in your bed, but as luck would have it, Rose’s timing is impeccable.

“Congratulations,” you say, genuinely impressed by her work ethic. “At least one of us was professional today.”

“Uh-oh. I take it dinner was awkward last night?”

“Frankie came with his fiancé.”

Silence. You can hear Rose’s jaw drop and her steady breaths. If you listen closely enough, you can hear her processing what you just told her.

“They both came?” she asks.

“Yeah. It was dinner with friends and their significant others, of course he would’ve brought his fiancé. It was stupid of me to think he wouldn’t.”

“Still, I can’t imagine it was pleasant to just have her in your face like that.”

“She’s actually pretty awesome.”

“What?!”

Rose’s indignation actually steals a chuckle out of you, for which you are thankful.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she continues.

You scoff. “I’m serious! She’s an incredible, accomplished woman.”

“I don’t care, that is the enemy!”

“She’s really not. If anything, Frankie is. He’s the one who fucked it all up.”

“Fair point. What’s so incredible about this woman, anyway?”

“Well, her name’s Andrea and she’s a dermatologist, she regularly volunteers for different charities, she’s hilarious and sweet… oh, and she’s unfairly gorgeous.”

“How gorgeous are we talking here?”

“Green eyes, light brown hair with cute bangs, caramel skin… and she smells great.”

“Shit, that does sound great.”

“So you see my problem.”

“I do. But I can hate her.”

“What—Rose, you don’t even know her.”

“When has that ever stopped us? We’ve hated people for no reason before.”

“Yes, but those were celebrities. And it was usually because they either had something we don’t have, or because we just didn’t like them.”

“Hello! How is this any different?”

You chuckle again, your chest growing heavier with concern regarding tomorrow’s plans.

“Hey, listen, since you’re free this weekend,” you start, “how do you feel about spending Valentine’s Day with me tomorrow?”

“Uh… okay, I really appreciate the sentiment, but I’m not sure what kind of message did I send to you before.”

You both laugh. “Will and Ben are throwing this little Valentine’s get-together between friends—and their girlfriends too, I guess—and I could really use a friendly shoulder there.”

“Hmm. So everyone’s gonna be happily nuzzling next to their significant others?”

“All, except me and Frankie. Andrea can’t come apparently.”

“Gotta say, I’m a little relieved, I thought I was going to have to show some PDA in order to be able to stay.”

You laugh some more, eagerly anticipating her response.

“Won’t it be awkward?” Rose asks.

“Possibly. Every interaction I’ve had so far has been more or less so. Please, you gotta come with me.”

“I will, I will. Just gotta stop by at my grandma’s first to check in on her.”

“How is she doing after the hip replacement surgery?”

“Pretty good. More mobile each day.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah. But after that, I’m totally gonna be there for you.”

“Good. Cause I’m your best friend, and you have to help a friend in need.”

“True.”

“Also, Santi will be there.”

You can tell that has Rose’s attention. Hell, even you smile. You’ve been hoping for a long time that she and Santiago would act upon their feelings, but clearly they both had been shy to initiate.

“I was gonna come anyway, just to clarify,” Rose pushes, to which you smirk.

“Mhm.”

“This is just… an added bonus.”

“Of course it is. I’ll see you tomorrow then, at the Millers?”

“You got it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight. Oh, and thank you, Rose. I love you.”

“You don’t have a thing to thank me for. I love you too.”

Knowing that Rose will be there makes it easier for you to fall asleep, and to navigate through next day’s tasks. You wake up pretty early in order to go your grocery shopping, your cleaning and your cooking, and when the clock strikes five p.m., you are in your bathroom, showering and putting a little makeup on.

It’s not a party, you keep reminding yourself of Will’s words. So you don’t overdress, and you don’t overdo it with makeup. Just something cute and casual for a night out with your friends.

And their girlfriends. And, with Rose there, probably making heart eyes at Santiago, that means it’ll be just you and Frankie.

Okay, so maybe your plan wasn’t so well thought. Maybe you could back out of going. Who would really care, on Valentine’s, no less?

Oh, but they would. You knew the guys, you knew your friends, and you knew how relentless they could be about group hangouts and such. You knew they would bother you consistently, bombard you with questions about why you were a no-show at the very last moment.

Honestly, the idea of free drinks kept you motivated enough. In the event of Rose disappearing somewhere to snuggle with Santi, you’d have your trusted companions, the beers.

But you refuse to show up empty handed, so you carry with you a big plate of sandwiches and a bottle of wine. You put in the location on the GPS and drive through the snowed streets.

You’ve been to Will’s and Benny’s plenty of times, but you felt safer having the address right there in front of you, especially on an icy evening like that. Even on a tender day such as Valentine’s Day, February knows how to remind you of its cold, cold wrath.

Standing on the doorstep of the Millers’ humble bungalow merely twenty minutes later, your warmest clothes prove nothing on that bitter evening. You rang the doorbell once and are now anxiously waiting for either Will or Benny to let you in.

Soon, waiting becomes a daunting task. But not only because of the bitter wind chills.

Will and Benny are hosting this party—scratch that. A get-together. Friendly faces, and yet all of them seem to belong to mere ghosts of your past. For them, Valentine’s Day didn’t need the frills and ties, but rather friends and stiff drinks. Plus, they had their wonderful girlfriends by their side, so even the most mundane tasks could be deemed as romantic and well-thought. Will reassured you it would be a smaller gathering, just the lonely ones and the dorks who actually managed to score someone. Still, the sight of the cramped cars in the driveway spiked your anxiety when the GPS told you “arrived at your destination”. But you prevailed, and marched to the front door nonetheless. You had made a promise, after all.

Hurry up, guys, your mind begs, huffing into your hands to keep you warm. Finally, you see a familiar face grinning from the door window. Not Will, rather Benny. Your eyes soften, eagerly pushing your way in, even as Benny already starts fussing over how long you waited.

“It’s fine,” you tell him sincerely.

“I shouted at Will to open the door a dozen times,” he seemingly apologizes. “I had the glasses in my hand, but no, I gotta do all the work. So much for big bro duties. Here, let me take that.”

You chuckle as Benny takes the plate and bottle of wine from your hand, and you take a look around. You were swathed in warmth as soon as you crossed the threshold into the home. Something about being inside made you relax much more. It could be the coziness of the two-story living, where every room in the house bled into each other. Or it could be that the furniture choices were plump and rosy leather adorned in animal themed blankets, tapestries and cushions. In the living room, MTV is playing on the television, the soft drones of Robert Smith from The Cure filling you with the melancholy you had come to associate with the holiday.

From the couch, Will greets you, inviting you to sit as you hand your jacket off to Benny. Will and Mia are sitting over at one of the two olive couches that surround the fireplace. Benny has no problem plopping himself next to his brother and his girlfriend, the latter having his own significant other join in, but you decide to pick the couch across from them, the one closest to the kitchen. Not just because it might be useful should you require more drinks, but also because you think five’s a crowd, and couples need their intimacy.

The light in the kitchen is on and you can see two shadows bouncing across the walls. They are talking about something, but you can’t pick up on any of it, not when you have Will and Mia’s conversation ringing in the other ear. Although, you still can’t help but stare at the shapes.

One looks stocky, and seems to be the one making the most noise out of them. But the other. The other has a cap on, larger arms, a deeper voice, dripping with age like a fine wine. He and Benny are the youngest among the boys, but his voice is coarse and thick with plenty of emotions that still have a grip over you.

You shake your head briefly, forcing yourself to smile and even giggle at the excited voices in front of you. It’s a favorable situation rather than staring at Frankie the whole time, which you swore you wouldn’t do, no matter what.

You fleetingly check your watch, wondering when Rose will get there. You grow to hate this feeling of helplessness when it comes to being around Frankie. It’s not that you are not strong, quite the opposite: you are more than capable of being cold and distant, but gazing over at him, looking and longing at the same time? A whole other story.

You’re not quite sure what it is about Frankie that still has you in a chokehold. Actually, you do know, you just like denying it, especially now given the circumstances. In every way, Frankie is the embodiment of your dream partner. He’s kind, funny, sweet, smart, protective, and just overall a warm person that once made you feel like you were truly yourself, and not just playing a game.

After all this time, your feelings for him have not vanished as you had hoped. You foolishly thought distance would help you forget, but now that you have been thrust back into your old life, you see things are no different than when you left.

At least in that regard.

Looking at Will and Benny happily sharing with you stories of their adventures with the girls, you sport a sincere smile. You have never seen them so fulfilled, so blissful, and it makes your heart tremble with joy. Yet there is a permanent ache in your heart that you cannot deny, one you doubt anyone would fully understand.

“Hey, you’re here!” Santiago says, pulling you in to hug you tight.

You reciprocate, eyes landing on Frankie’s figure in the background. He seems apologetic, averting your gaze as much as he can, as if he’s guilty of something. Deep down, you do understand his reaction and, oddly enough, you are thankful that he’s not pushing the note in any way.

“I heard Emily made heart shaped cookies, and you know I’m a sucker for cookies,” you joke.

“You have to try them, they are out of this world,” Mia fortifies.

You all chuckle, and you do in fact stretch your arm towards the coffee table in the middle to grab one of the cookies on the plate and take a bite out of it, instantly melting.

“Oh my God,” you nearly shout, immediately taking another bite. “These are heavenly!”

“Thank you!” Emily smiles, her cheeks now flushed. “I don’t make them that often though.”

“I can see why! It’s tough to stay away from them, shit.”

You finish the cookie and grab another one, causing everyone to giggle.

“It’s also why I told her to never, under any circumstances, share the recipe,” Benny adds. “This is cause for fight.”

“It sure is,” Will says.

You don’t realize you’re still in Santiago’s arms; when you do realize that, you inch away in the slightest, right under Frankie’s studious eyes. Curiosity has him by the throat, yet he can’t bring himself to ask you or Santiago any questions. He’s not sure he wants to know.

“Hi,” you finally greet Frankie, voice small and anxious.

“Hi,” he replies.

You’re tired of this; you are so tired of walking around on eggshells, measuring your words and actions and trying to stay away while also wanting to be part of the group again. It’s absolutely exhausting.

“You want something to drink?” Santiago offers, and you nod.

Frankie’s eyes don’t leave the two of you, silently studying you from the corner of his eye. He watches you go into the kitchen, exchange some words as Santiago opens up a beer bottle and hands it to you, and then he sees you lightly touching his arm.

He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to know. It’s none of his business. He has no right asking or even caring anymore.

Then why does his chest ache so? Why does it feel like there’s a beast trapped inside of him that roars and scratches violently at the simplest of sights?

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

“Okay, so,” Will announces, standing up now that you and Santiago return to the living room. “Now that we are all here.”

“Actually, Rose should be here any minute,” Santiago intervene.

“Oh. That’s okay, we can wait then.”

“What’s going on, guys?” you ask.

Will and Benny exchange a glare, as well as Mia and Emily, and you instantly know both couples have news. The options are limited, although you can pretty much figure out what’s going on before it’s even said.

And before you know it, you’re halfway through the beer bottle, wishing you had called a cab instead of driving to the bungalow.

“Well, uh… Mia and I are engaged,” Will says, reaching to grab his now fiancé’s hand.

It’s then that you notice the ring on Mia’s finger, shining as brightly as her eyes when she looks at Will. Laudatory exclaims burst among you all, and you’re quick to finish your beer before hugging Mia and then Will. Your heart swells and trembles with even more happiness, admiring them as Santiago and Frankie congratulate their friend.

“Benny has some news too,” Will chuckles.

All eyes turn to Benny, who instead looks over at Emily. Her cheeks burn auburn still, indicating nervousness and flattery.

“We’re moving in together,” she says.

More congratulations are being shared, the entire group hugging the other happy couple. You don’t think you could be any happier than you are at this very moment.

Or lonelier.

What a fascinating mixture, that of delight for your friends and loneliness for yourself. Contradictory, opposing poles, yet equally true.

You don’t let it show, though. Tonight it’s cause for celebration, and you are too focused on your friends’ fulfilled lives to allow any negative emotion impact it.

Although you can’t help but think that your steps are guided by some sort of negative emotion when you find yourself into the kitchen, grabbing another beer to toast to your friends.

“To Will and Benny, finally committed and off of our hands,” Santiago toasts, and you all laugh. “Girls, best of luck.”

“Here, here!”

You feel your phone buzzing in your pocket, and you swiftly notice a text from Rose: “Be there soon, max one hour. Sorry for the delay!” You don’t know why, but your stomach drops. Rose will be there soon, why do you feel so disarmed and hopeless? It doesn’t make much sense, and you don’t try to dig deeper. Not tonight.

You’re feeling a bit of a mess, so the best you can do is smile and nod along, drinking cheerfully along your very joyful and gratified friends. You look at them all, admiring and holding out hope for all of them, so much so that you forget about yourself momentarily. Just for one moment, you forget about the confusing mixture of feelings and how it fucks you up in this very moment.

So Will is engaged, Benny’s getting his own place with his girlfriend, and Frankie is engaged. That leaves you and Santiago as the lonely bachelors in the group.

Except Santiago’s smitten with Rose, and vice versa, and you have a feeling those two will end up together. Which means, when that’ll inevitably happen, it will be just you. Stuck in the same cycle, no matter how hard you have tried to run away from it or tell yourself you changed.

Definitely should’ve taken a cab. Tonight requires a whole lot more drinking.

Music starts blasting in the speakers, with the two happy couples and Frankie settling for an excited talk regarding the upcoming nuptials and move-in. You settle in the kitchen, taking a seat and sipping from your beer while your eyes remain on the five people on the couch. There is an odd sense of melancholy washing over you, like you are an intruder in all of those people’s lives, and that they’d be much happier without you. Like their lives would also be easier without you.

“Hey,” Santiago’s voice brings you back to earth. “You okay?”

He takes the seat next to you, nudging you with his shoulder. “Yeah,” you reply flatly, voice a little shaky, too. “So many good news tonight already, it’s… a lot.”

“I’m pretty surprised myself. More by Benny, not Will. Will’s got this commitment thing covered. Benny, on the other hand…”

You chuckle, staring at the bottom of the beer that’s dangerously close now. “But look at him now. A grown man, our Benny.”

“They’re all moving on, building their lives.”

“Yep.”

“Guess it’s just you and me now. The last two bachelors of the group.”

You purse your lips together, staring at him in a haze. “Maybe you and I should’ve given this a proper go.”

Santiago smirks, eyeing you up and down.

“Is that so?” he smiles.

“We might’ve actually had a real shot a while back.”

“At the very least we could’ve followed through with that little moment in the car.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“One complete and good memory from back then.”

You nod, reminiscing of the time when you returned to town for a few weeks, a couple of years back, and decided to try something new. You thought it was the right thing to do, but the short-lived romance proved otherwise for you both.

“Or we might’ve screwed things up completely,” you say.

“Or that.”

“I mean, look at me and Frankie. One wrong move and it’s all fucked up.”

You sigh deeply, your head now resting in the crook of Santiago’s neck. He smells of cologne and forest, fresh and… uncomplicated. His arm wraps around you, pulling you in closer.

All under Frankie’s eyes.

He can’t stop staring at the two of you, so close and intimate in the kitchen, and his mind starts to wonder, to fabricate little scenarios that make the room spin around him. It all comes crashing down on him when he starts to acknowledge the fact that you and Santiago make perfect sense.

“You good there, Fish?” Benny asks, hand on his shoulder.

“Hm?”

He’s blatantly staring and he didn’t even realize it till then. Now, his gaze returns upon those in the living room.

“You good?” Benny repeats the question.

“I’m good, yeah,” he replies.

“Cause… you were staring.”

“I was just… curious.”

Mia and Emily look over to the kitchen as well, then back at Frankie. “Oh, those two?” Mia chuckles. “Yeah, we’re curious, too.”

Frankie, instead, frowns.

“They’ve gotten very close in the past few years,” Will admits. “Not sure to what extent, but they sure are close.”

“I for one think that if there is something going on, we should give them some space,” Emily says. “Friends dating… it can be tricky to navigate. Let’s leave them alone in the meantime.”

Frankie gulps, finishing his beer, eager for another one. He stands up, heads to the kitchen, where he locks eyes with you and Santiago. The two of you separate, staring at him, but Frankie doesn’t say a word. He just reaches in the fridge for another beer, opens it and walks away, right outside into the cold.

He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He definitely shouldn’t care.

“What’s with him?” you ask.

“I have no idea. Maybe it’s the stress of planning a wedding.”

“Right.”

The doorbell is heard, turning towards Santiago with a smile. “That’s Rose.”

You see him take a deep breath, his mind clearly racing just as much as his heart, and you know he’s overthinking the moment. You have the same look on your face when you do it.

“Go,” you nearly push him off the chair. “Why are you still here?”

“I’m going, okay? I don’t wanna seem too eager.”

“You’re reeking of neediness already. Go.”

When you’re alone in the kitchen, you have the nerve to finish the beer, then raiding for another one. You’re probably going to regret this, but you need something to take the edge off.

You spy into the living room, noticing Santiago and Rose emerged into a conversation filled with shy smiles and flushed cheeks, and you smile. God, I hope this works between them. They’re too good for each other to not make this work.

But life sometimes has a funny and cruel way of pulling two perfect people apart from each other. You’ve experienced it firsthand, and you’d hate seeing this happen to two of the dearest people in your life.

You keep hearing music, and after a while, those in the living room start dancing with each other and you take that as your cue to leave. You feel like an extra there, just looking at the happy couples giggling and talking to each other.

Before you know it, you find yourself outside, slowly inhaling the cold air. You’re a bit tipsy, so this is just what you need to remain grounded in the present. A present where you’re basically left behind, alone, just you and the professional ladder you are desperately trying to climb in order to feel like you are achieving something.

By all means, you are happy. You have a great new job, great life, health… everything is good. So there is no reason for you to be feeling like this, is there?

“It’s freezing, you should get back inside,” a voice shouts.

You come to realize that it’s Frankie. He’s on the porch, few inches away, barely staring at you.

“Could tell you the same thing,” you say.

“I happen to be okay with the cold. I know you hate it.”

You tsk, hating how much he still knows about you. You stare into the far off distance, beer in hand. Luckily the alcohol keeps you a little warm, so you don’t really care about the freezing temperatures right now.

“Needed some air,” you say.

“Aka a break from all the happy inside.”

“I didn’t say—“

“You didn’t have to.”

“Would you just—knock it off?”

It is now that you turn to meet his gaze, fury radiating from your eyes. He can feel it, too; you see it in his body language, the way he’s trying to make himself seem smaller next to you. But he doesn’t avert his eyes. Instead, he seems to be staring right at you, with a certain darkness in his eyes that you fail to recognize.

“Look, I’m tired of this, Frankie,” you surrender. “I am sick and tired of trying my hardest to be distant and keep you at bay… and I’m sorry I’m acting like a bitch. I am not, I’m really not.”

“I know you’re not. You got every right to act this way, though.”

You chuckle. “Well, at least you understand what the situation is.”

“Of course I do. I’m not an idiot, okay? I know this is… fucked up and hurtful and messy… but I miss you.”

The moment he says that, your heart begins to race like crazy.

“As a—friend,” he clarifies, gulping.

“I want us to function normally too, like we used to, but I don’t know if it’s possible, Frankie. I gotta respect you and Andrea’s relationship, and… a single woman is not to be around a committed guy.”

Frankie scoffs, finishing his beer and putting the empty bottle on the porch, half in snow. “Single? Really?”

“Yes, really. Why?”

He falters, trips over his own thoughts, and he keeps quiet. It’s his best play at this very moment.

“I missed you too,” you confess shyly, in an almost non-existent voice.

But he hears it. He hears and sees you crystal clear, burning and aching with his whole body. He should not be feeling this way. He should not be surprised that you’d be interested in Santiago. He should not be upset by it, nor should he be feeling this way around you. It’s not okay. It’s not normal to burn this much for someone.

And yet here he is, secretly doing it anyway, and shoving it deep down with every ounce of strength imaginable.

You sneak a peek through the window, noticing Rose still talking to Santiago, seemingly laughing out loud, and your heart quickly swells and then deflates. When you finish your beer, you find Frankie to stand much closer to you, cutting out the air from your lungs. You barely feel the cold anymore, even if your fingers turn purple and your face is red with something you can’t quite discern.

“I’m really sorry that I let you go,” he mutters. “I was a dick. Pope reminds me once or twice a year.”

You actually chuckle. “Good.”

“He’s a great friend.”

“That he is.”

“And you guys seem to be very close. Kind of like…”

“We used to be?”

He nods. When your eyes meet and neither shies away, it’s electric. It’s a rush, a moment filled with unspoken emotion. You want to look away, you know this should not be happening, and yet you can’t look away. It’s years of deprivation, missing him and missing the two of you, but you just don’t want to look away from him.

You just want to look at him, admire him for the man that he’s turned into. Nothing more.

“I missed you,” he repeats, his voice almost like he’s begging. “So much.”

You don’t reply. You can’t really focus; your mind is foggy, clouded by all sorts of emotions tonight, and you know you should back off, act with respect. Because, at the end of the day, you do respect Frankie and his relationship with Andrea, and you respect Andrea just as much.

Every cell in your body screams at you to just back off, go back inside to your friends and celebrate alongside them. You swear you moved your feet in the desired direction. You start to feel warm again, warm all over, particularly your face.

Seconds later, you realize that is because there is warm breath all over your face, and your lips become swollen, reddened with a foreign, yet familiar and much needed touch.

Another few seconds later and you realize that Frankie’s lips are on yours, and his hand cups your cheek, pulling you in.

The worst of it is, you kiss him back. You kiss him back till you’re running out of air and Frankie’s breath is the sole source of air that you have. You kiss him back till you become fully aware of the implications, and then, before you can pull away, Frankie does it first.

He pulls away from you, his lips just as swollen and red as yours, and he stares at you in shock. Truthfully, you’re just as shocked, unable to utter a single word.

“I’m so sorry,” he coos, looking around in disbelief. “I am… so sorry. I shouldn’t have… I should go.”

You still don’t say anything. You simply stare at him, incapable to remove the feeling of his soft lips pressed hastily on yours.

He’s slowly backing away from you, eyes locked with yours, as he keeps muttering “I should go”. So he goes, leaving you half frozen on the porch, with a taste on your lips that nothing would ever wash away.

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tabr1-s · 1 month

Text

aventurine rant and personal critiques about 2.1's writing below

(to preface... i am biased towards Sunday and his plight, and firmly against the IPC and their plans concerning retaking Penacony. but that's not to say that i support the Family as a whole either.)

why was 80% of the 2.1 quest about Aventurine? isn't that what character stories and companion quests are for?

to begin, the first thing that bothered me was how the game seemed to want the player to believe that Aventurine's offer wasn't forced. examples below:

although it... was forced. you can tell him that you won't associate with the IPC and he will tell you not to worry about it, and just "reconsider it" by talking to your companions (mainly the Navigator, Himeko) at the express (basically implying that our opinion does not matter to him in the slightest). dialogue below:

(now i don't know if it's my personal hatred for being controlled and told what to do that's making me see this differently... but i have talked this over with a friend of mine and they do agree that it Does seem forced. i might be putting myself in an echo chamber by doing this, but at least i'm not alone!)

my point with the above is that the game tries to get you to sympathize with Aventurine from the beginning, and forces your hand when it comes to agreeing to his proposal by making some - frankly - stupid excuses as to why we should trust him. maybe others found them to be convincing/enough, but to me it just seemed like a cheap way to get the story rolling. (also, since when did we become pawns of the IPC? Penacony's debt is none of our business, and, not to get political... but it reminds me of real life sentiments that colonialist people hold about countries that "belonged to them in the past", despite that country having years of history and development since/before then (and i do not care if that country's political system is corrupt, or that they have unpaid debt. that is not an excuse to bring about war and occupation.). also, i sincerely hate how Aventurine wasn't even hiding that he views Robin's death as an opportunity, or, in his words, a "bargaining chip". we're made to sympathize with him and his dead family but he can't read the room and show some genuine sympathy himself, can he?)

...so the story goes on. we get some Welt and Acheron bits, a bit of Black Swan, and some investigation on the front of Himeko, March 7th, and the trailblazer. then the focus falls back on Aventurine. but, for the time being, it's fine - because at least he's alongside Dr. Ratio and their bickering is entertaining.

which leads to the scene where Sunday confronts Aventurine. yes, Sunday is manipulative. he begins by praising Aventurine and buttering him up, seemingly trying to get Aventurine to lower his guard. but let's not forget that Aventurine is also being manipulative - using Sunday's recent close family death as leverage for his own schemes. Sunday knows this, and so calls upon the help of Xipe, the Harmony, to bring the truth to light.

now, Sunday doesn't outright warn him about the consequences of not answering or answering falsely, but the implication is there. Sunday gives Aventurine a chance to come clean. and what does Aventurine do? he lies, basically securing his own fate like that. another example of Sunday giving Aventurine a chance to admit the truth was here:

"it's your last chance to defend your honor". up until the point where he gave Aventurine the box, Aventurine had countless chances to stop betting with his life and do the simplest thing - answer truthfully. but he didn't. so, my question is: why does all the blame fall on Sunday when it was Aventurine who got himself into that predicament in the first place? it also gets implied multiple times that Aventurine wanted that conclusion all along...

...which leads me to the next topic. people viewing him as this "genius mastermind" - when in reality, he's no more than a self-destructive gambler that simply puts faith in his good luck to lead him to the conclusion that he wants. and, honestly? that seems like a very immature mentality to me. there's nothing admirable about him risking it all time and time again, and i'm not sure why exactly i'm meant to sympathize with that part of him. also...

don't be a hypocrite yourself, Aventurine. you also lied and was planning to manipulate from the beginning - them expecting the truth from you shouldn't come as a surprise.

now, i'm not going to fully go into the 2 or so hours of pure Aventurine³ content (or, as my friend put it, "exposition vomit"), other than saying that his story could've definitely been told in a much more concise manner than what we got. i mean, good for the Aventurine fans out there, i'm happy for them. but, writing-wise, that was pretty out of place. in comparison, Acheron's backstory only got implied, and was kept mostly a mystery. you can only find bits and pieces of Sunday and Robin's upbringing by reading the letter Robin sent to her brother, and observing the "concert for two" lightcone in that same room. Firefly says some things about her condition and spends a significant part of the 2.0 quest with Trailblazer, but at least the main character is part of that story. Aventurine's case seemed like a blatant pity party from the writers - from the beginning of 2.1 til the end. now i'm not saying that his backstory isn't tragic; the first time i played through the story i sympathized with him. it was heartbreaking. but that genuinely could've been saved for a companion quest.

another thing i thought was out of place was Aventurine's hatred for the Family. seeing his backstory, i believed that they were leading up to the Family being somehow responsible for his rough upbringing/period of slavery, so that was Aventurine enacting his revenge on them. but that was... not the case. instead, he's only(?) doing this for the IPC, with no true motivation of his own. in other words, why is he trying to bring the Family down so avidly? i'm not convinced that his reasons are good enough for him to cause so much chaos to a nation/organization that has nothing to do with him. if it is purely because of the IPC's whims, then that is not very "free will" of him.

despite all my qualms, i don't hate Aventurine. the Penacony characters are hard to hate in general, for they're all intriguing in their own ways. but i do think i've been a bit too over-exposed to him. maybe i'd go as far as to say that he was overhyped - they could've handled his story better, and not simply thrown everything they had for him in one singular questline right before his release. personally, even with the characters that i have biases towards, i would prefer for their stories to be told through character stories, companion quests, texts, and readables. that way, you find out about the character on your own volition without it feeling forced. and, if their backstories are relevant to the main storyline, you can easily make it brief and showcase what's, well...

relevant.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr 2.1 #hsr 2.1 spoilers #i was writing this for 3 hours #this was spurred on by me repeatedly seeing the “i'm so glad that Sunday is dead” sentiment being expressed by mainly Aventurine fans #i got a bit ticked off #ramblings #1238 words. amen

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ichinoue · 9 months

Note

What are your opinion on isshimasa and ichiruki parallels? They're panels are framed the exact same and it's crazy because isshin and masaki are of course a canon ship. I don't know what to think anymore 😭

I've also seen claims that orihime is like masaki but I don't see how. Masaki is pretty happy go lucky like orihime but is overall a goofy tease who likes to laugh and tease isshin. Orihime isn't like that and doesn't really do that with ichigo, and her dynamic with ichigo is way different from isshin and masakis.

Also the Ray of light thing?? Masaki being like the sun and kubo saying rukia is ichigos Ray of light? I saw on twitter and man I genuinely don't know what to think anymore 🙈 I love ichihime but upon discovering this I don't know how to proceed, what do u think?? I don't like ichiruki, but these parallels are questionable 😭

I mean, saying "I don't know what to think anymore 😭" would maybe be an understandable sentiment if Bleach were still ongoing and the endgame couples were still undetermined but...they're not lol. The manga is finished, their marriages and children have been cemented in canon, and Kubo has confirmed in so many different ways that IR was never intended as romantic and that he planned on having Ichigo's son meet Rukia's daughter in the final chapter since chapter one.

So I don't really get where any anxiety over future outcomes would be coming from, you know what I mean?? It's like fearing that IH won't happen when it's already happened lol

I get what IR's are saying about Isshin holding Masaki under his arm being similar to Ichigo holding Rukia under his arm (even though he also held his sisters the same way), but to me, when Isshin is holding Masaki and says to her "I'm here to protect you", he's promising that for life. Which is very different from what Ichigo did. Ichigo hurls Rukia into Renji's arms two seconds after saving her and tells Renji it's Renji's job to protect her. He literally throws her into the arms of her future husband. While Masaki was already in the arms of her future husband. So that's where the parallel falls flat for me.

And unlike Isshin did for Masaki, Ichigo never made a vow of protection with (一護) mamoru, meaning “to protect" which is the kanji in Ichigo's namesake, to Rukia. In fact, the kanji used when he saved Rukia is the same kanji used when he saved KENPACHI of all people lmao

But you know who he did make that vow for (and then rose up from the dead still chanting that very vow of protection)? Orihime. I talked about that here, and this is the post referenced.

Also, if we're talking parallels, I think the stronger case to be made here is for Ryuuken->Massaki<-->Isshin resembling Ishida->Orihime<-->Ichigo, but I digress.

Anyway, I disagree about Orihime and Masaki not being similar. We only got to see a small glimpse of Masaki's personality, but from what we did see, she resembles Orihime in both looks and personality (and if we're talking about comparisons here, she certainly resembles her personality and looks-wise more than she does Rukia). Her mannerisms, her joyfulness, her nervous little "eheh" laugh and talking about food stood out to me right away as being very Orihime-esque.

Not to mention, there's literally a part in the WDKALY novel where Karin comments that Orihime reminds her of Masaki, and that's why Yuzu likes being around her:

"As time went by, Keigo, Mizuiro and Uryuu also returned home, only the Kurosaki siblings and Orihime were left in the room. When Uryuu left Orihime also tried to leave, “I’ll finish this up later at home……”, however Yuzu held her back saying she wanted to help a little more.

Now, Yuzu was standing alongside Orihime in the kitchen, seeming to enjoy herself as they prepared dinner. Ichigo and Karin continued sewing the embroidery on the floor whilst also absentmindedly listening in. Karin took over the task of adding the final touches Orihime was doing earlier with the golden thread.

“Yuzu, seems like she having fun huh”

Karin spoke at a volume that only Ichigo could hear.

“Oh yeah……it feels like she’s more high-spirited than usual”

“……That girl, she behaves as if she were a mother, she should take it easy and let others help her instead of doing everything herself don’t you think? So that’s why, I think she’s very happy whenever Orihime chan comes around.”

Continuous cheerful laughter coming from the other two could be heard.

“……how about you?”

“Me? As for me……well, I’m also happy……because, Orihime chan, she reminds me of mother……just a little”

Karin’s hands stopped moving, she looked up at the portrait fixed on the wall. At the center of the oversized poster, there is a portrait of their late mother Masaki laughing brightly." (Source)

So, clearly Kubo wanted that comparison to be noted.

You also mention how Masaki has a goofy personality (which...Orihime is clearly very goofy as well lol) and that Orihime never teases Ichigo but she literally has...?? Especially once she started to become more comfortable with him. Notably teasing him about not getting any of her bread in the final arc.

But I think it's important to note that I believe Kubo wanted Orihime to be similar to Masaski, but not exactly the same. She is her own character, after all.

And the ray of light thing...Rukia has always been represented by the moon in canon. So...this just sounds like a lot of IR projection at this point tbh lol. Again, if we're going to take what Kubo said in interviews into account, then it would be impossible not to consider that he's said he always planned on Ichigo and Rukia marrying and having children with other people.

If he wanted to fulfill some parallel where Ichigo and Rukia fall in love and get married like Isshin and Masaki did, he would have done it. There was...literally nothing stopping him if that's the route he wanted to take lol. He just had no intention of doing so. Instead, he wanted Bleach to end with each of their kids meeting. To come full circle with "death and the strawberry."

But honestly like, if you're confused about how to proceed now, my advice would be to just ship whatever you want lol. You don't have to ship the pairings that are canon, ship the ones that you personally like!

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johnny-chaos · 9 months

Text

Gordon is notably characterized by his obnoxious and deeply uncool behavior but he's also defined by an incredible earnestness and desire for things to be taken seriously . And Benrey, on the other hand, is obnoxious too but for the exact opposite reasons-- devaluing things that, by Gordon's standards, should be taken seriously (such as murder) while playing up the absurdity and inconsistent application of rules in general (and also acting like a fucking third grader).

In that way the two of them have a lot in common, but with that one major caveat of seriousness . Really, they're both pretty earnest, and they both just wanna make jokes n have fun-- Gordon wants to be a justin.tv streamer and he talks to himself like an anime protagonist (GORDON SPRINT!!) and Benrey's whole thing is having his day ruined bc he couldn't play games with his friends . But Benrey also knows treating the game like it's real is idiotic, while Gordon can't help but treat it as if it were (and Scorpy Socpens n Wayne R. TV use this for some extremely good comedy).

In addition to THAT, you have Coomer, who, over the course of the webseries, realizes his life is a lie and his world is fake - subsequently becoming more lucid, serious, and aloof. His character arc brings up the question of What Does It Truly Mean, To Be Alive? (a tried and true story point !) They're all functioning on different understandings of their world-- they all understand nothing matters, but Coomer is just now realizing, and Benrey's always known it, and Gordon method acts so hard that he almost forgets it.

With that context HLVRAI becomes an argument on existential nihilism -- Coomer presents the question "nothing is real so is living this life valuable?" and Benry's response is essentially "no- if nothing matters then why care ? Do whatever you want forever ." And Gordon's is "of COURSE it's valuable, fuck you, this may not matter but I can care and try and hope and LIVE, BABY!!! leave me and my magmar plush OUTTA THIS!!" Quite a 4chan vs Tumblr argume(I am shot and killed)

But even though I describe Gordon as v earnest and sincere, it's not enitrely accurate, bc while he has a lot of Genuine Expressions of Emotion, he also seems to use anger to mask laughter ("if i had a knife i would gut you" said with an audible smile). Makes him seem less genuine and more like he's playing up the reactivity, but you still get a rly potent feeling that these are people he enjoys being around, and I'm sure that's also just Wayne R. TV playing gmod with his friends bleeding through .

Coomer's obviously the MOST sincere, he has literally the only lines that are SUPPOSED to be taken seriously. And Benrey may not be very sincere, but he IS (in Wayne R TV's words) the most sentimental, which is REALLY weird. He's constantly talking bullshit, but Scorpy Socpens still gives him these moments where it seems like he might actually care ("we should turn back.. we're going further . into HELL" and "why are we here? ..what happened to your arm?!") LIKE!! he and the others are all entertainers, they're all supposed to make you laugh (except for Dr. Coomer at one point), but Benrey especially, as he's this manifestation of insincerity and irony and absurdity--and yet?? some semblance of motivation??

If hlvrai is an argument on nihilism, then it's ALSO about how what makes life worth living is the people around you actually . Because of benrey's "nothing matters" mentality he gains Gordon's ire and subsequently becomes the antagonist as his stupid shenanigans are reframed as actively hindering the group (even though yeah EVERYONE gets in the way of everything all the time). Thus he becomes the Big Bad even though he's really just, not cut out for it . he knows his actions don't have meaningful consequences, but that sentimentality inevitably slips out, and yeah, his whole purpose is to be funny. you can't be funny to yourself now that's just embarrassing. he has the powers to shapeshift and time travel but he only does it when it's relevant to Gordon. i am constantly thinking about how he says "it replenishes your electronics" in this calm, mellow voice like he's got nothing to worry about and is just enjoying the moment . he just wants to play games with people, man!!!

and even though Gordon is so SO fucking uncool, he's allowed to be because he actually gives a shit!! even though they're both annoying, Benrey is the one who becomes the villain because of how detached he is. Gordon can stumble over his words and be clumsy as hell but he cares so deeply-- about the others, about putting on a show-- that his embarrassing attempts at being the hotshot hero of the story don't detract from his value. yeah this world isn't real but my friends are. yeah nothing matters but we can still try to help each other out. you are supposed to care!!! bitch

#[COUGHS AND HACKS VIOLENTLY]#hlvrai #half-life vr but the ai is self-aware #media analysis #txt #nonsense

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thegoldencontracts · 9 days

Note

So. You know promise rings? Not exactly an engagement ring but a little more serious than boyfriend-girlfriend... merfolk wear promise shells. Shells that represent the person they're with... Azul's partner (It's Ri--💥) wearing a small spiral shell that's wide at the opening with bumps along it, its coloration a deep purple and black. You could almost confuse it for a tentacle from afar.

How many biographies and autobiographies do you think he'll have? Self-help books?

Annnd what do you think Azul's future mega corporation would be called? Because I've seen some iterations use the 'Mostro' name and I used 'Ashengrotto' because... come on. It's his name! People need to recognize him!

The more I think about it, the more I need to see Azul meet his future self. Would he love the guy or treat him like... Cece? Hehe.

OH MY GOD PROMISE RING JUST GIVES ME THE CUTEST IDEAAA (in my opinion at least)

Azul with ri- I mean, his totally anonymous partner... He gives them a promise she'll and he tries to act as nonchalant as he can but he's also so embarrassed about ITTTT and he's trying to be smug and everything but then rid- I MEAN his partner is like "wow, this truly is quite important to you I'm pleased to see you so greatly value our relationship" not even in a teasing way just genuinely trying to be good faith and appreciate Azul's efforts yk...

But of course Azul gets embarrassed T_T I-It isn't like that, he's just... Yeah he has no defense for himself and he gets so pouty and huffy "Not now, I'm losing" (This line is paraphrased from a tootally random fic that you toooootally didn't write and I toooooooooootally didn't reread 5 gorillion times lmao)

A bunch, Azul is all about that grind 💪💪💪 he will power through the writers block

Anndd if Azul has a restaurant chain I feel like he'd actually keep Mostro because despite him acting aloof and business-minded he actually truly cares for the Lounge (one of the funniest parts of twst imo is that fact that Azul in canon is basically... A FUCKING TSUNDERE OVER HIS LOVE FOR IT'S CRAFT IT'S THE FUNNIEST THIGN EVER Jade says it's clear he cares about the lounge, Azul says "Hah! Do you honestly believe me to be capable of an illogical sentiment such as 'attachment'?" And Floyd and Jade are like... Yeahh... Sure we totally believe you Mann he's literally a tsundere for his restaurant HOWEW-)

Anyways sorry the temptation to yap was there and I couldn't resist but back to what u were saying so I feel like he'd be attached to the name too and no matter how he tried he can't bring himself to change ittt

CECAELIA FAIRBANKS MENTION SPOTTED I WILL NOW RAMBLE Cecaelia is Azul's worstie she breaths within 1000000000 miles of him and he's immediately like "SHUT THE FUCK UP NO ONE ASKED YAP YAP YAP RIZZLESS BETA WHITE KNIGHT L + RATIO + I HAVE MORE CONTRACTS THAN U" nothing can compare to his hate /j

But actually though I feel like it depends on whether or not Azul knows this is his future self bc with cecaelia that's the conflict it's literally a better version of Azul bc... Azul from the future but Azul doesn't realize thatttt

But the version you're bringing up? Even better version of Azul. More successful and more skilled. If Azul doesn't know... Poor dude's gonna be put through the emotional wringer (and develop a strong hatred for what is quite literally himself) His hatred will be stronger than what he harbors for cecaelia lmaooo-

If he does tho I feel like he might have mild jealousy that's overshadowed by "HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHST I'LL BE IN A FEW YEARS" kind of thing...

Anyways that concludes my ramble thank you

#tina rambles #azul ashengrotto #twisted wonderland

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666writingcafe · 7 months

Text

Do Not Eat

"So, we've finally made it to level four," Solomon announces. "If we can just make it through this section, we'll be at the chamber with the candles."

"I can't believe we have to deal with this now," Belphie complains. "After we've come all this way, it's just wrong."

I'll give you this, Thirteen: you're awfully clever.

We're currently in a cafeteria, staring at the feast laid out on one of the tables.

I have no idea what you mean. I put this level together at the last minute, so it's not my best work.

Right. She doesn't know about the other brothers' sins.

So, you remember me mentioning that Mammon's the Avatar of Greed?

Yes...

Beelzebub is the Avatar of Gluttony. Furthermore, he's the reason why we're even in your cave in the first place.

Is something wrong with his candle?

Is she serious right now?

No. She's got to be playing dumb. There's no way she doesn't know.

He broke your vase.

Which one? I've made several.

It was red and black. It sat in the music room at the House of Lamentation.

WHAT?!

Great. I've pissed her off. Thankfully, Beel directs us to leave the cafeteria and go to the next room, so that allows some time for Thirteen to cool off.

Unfortunately, instead of the chamber, we wind up in a restaurant, where there's even more food. As Beel lists off the different dishes that he sees, I decide to resume my conversation with her.

Was it a special vase?

MC, I made that for Lucifer. It was one of the last things I gifted him before we broke up. I can't believe he kept it for this long.

She honestly sounds like she's holding back tears.

I'm sorry, Thirteen. I had no idea it had that much sentimental value.

I still care about him. Lucifer may have his flaws, but he's genuinely a good person. I knew he was going through a lot of pain, and I tried to help him the best way I could.

By distracting him.

Sometimes. There were nights where we would just talk. From what he told me, the Celestial Realm was not kind to him.

Interesting. Lucifer didn't mention that at all. Perhaps he was too embarrassed to admit he was that open with someone. His pride does get in the way of his other emotions, after all.

This might sound like a weird question, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but if you had the opportunity, would you rekindle your relationship with Lucifer?

Not romantically, no. I might try to build a friendship with him, but only if he'd let me get that close to him again, which is unlikely.

But not impossible.

"Look, Beel, there's another door right over there!" Belphie exclaims. "I bet it leads to the chamber with the candles!" He practically runs over to the double doors and swings them open, revealing...

Fuck.

Are you serious, Thirteen?!

Look, I had no idea the Avatar of Gluttony was going to visit when I created this, okay?! I just wanted to make the last level difficult for weary travelers, that's all.

You have to agree that having THREE ROOMS dedicated to housing spreads of food is overkill.

Well, it's not like you were alive when I began construction, so I couldn't exactly reach out and consult you.

He can't succumb to the temptation. I won't allow that to happen.

And what are you gonna do, MC? Do you even have it in you to break the rules?

Yes.

You wouldn't dare.

Watch me.

Right as I step towards the rather ornate dining table, Belphie practically lunges at it, snatches an apple off one of the centerpieces, and takes a huge bit out of it.

"Belphie!" Beel yells, but it's too late; his twin has transformed into a Little D.

"This is my fault--"

"No," Belphie interrupts. "You resisting the urge to eat is the same as me fighting the urge to sleep, and I didn't want to watch you having to endure that kind of struggle any longer. Besides, the reaper already has an axe to grind with you. If you were to break one of the rules here, who knows what would happen to you?"

Silence.

Beel scoops Belphie up in his arms, and everyone walks to the other side of the room, where a dark wooden door awaits us.

Well, almost everyone. I feel myself getting pulled back from the others.

"MC." Oh. It's Lucifer. It's the first time we've spoken since the first level.

"Yes?"

"How long has she been in there?" Shit. My eyes must have changed color during my argument with Thirteen.

"Since the moment we arrived at the cave." Lucifer closes his eyes and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Give me your hand." Confused but not wanting to upset him any more than I've seemed to, I do as he asks.

"This is your only warning: if you make them do anything that harms their well-being, I will make you regret the day you took your position." Oh. He's talking to Thirteen.

Fair.

"That's all you have to say?" Lucifer sounds incredulous.

Yes, that's all I have to say. God, Lucifer, you act like I want to make you suffer.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me thirteen #obey me lucifer #obey me beel #obey me belphie

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sublime-beyond-loss · 2 years

Text

Narrator Ambience/ASMR For All Of Your Narration Needs

I got a request to make some Narrator ASMR using the ambiance videos I've been pulling from the game, and at first I thought the idea would not pan out, and I'm still not sure if it did, but here are the results.

youtube

At first I didn't know what to use because the dude is at an 11 for like 99% of his dialogue and that would not make for good ASMR. So then I thought I'd go with the bucket endings, but even if the narrator isn't personally insulting you and your entire bloodline in (most) of the bucket endings, these endings still get batshit insane at times and thus still would not make for good ASMR. So I eventually settled on repeated loops of the main story line with several minor variations that are already present in the game, since I figured if a certain somebody was going to do ASMR, he'd want to read his damn story like it's a meditative gift from god.

Since I usually go into these trying to capture an eerie/haunting vibe, something which I find soothing and nice to put on in the background but a lot of people do not, I did my best to dial it back a bit for this project and hopefully made something genuinely nice to listen to.

While I was putting this together, I couldn't help but wonder how and why it is that some people take comfort (myself included) in this game that, when you get past all of the jokes and sillier moments, it is innately hostile toward the one playing it. I can only speak for myself, but as someone whose entire personality can largely be summed up as 'Ongoing Existential Crisis', I think it's the fact that the game doesn't shy away from the existential questions it poses, and in a way acts as a medium to confront these questions in a society that demands we act like we are okay at all times or face repercussions, and where you are not allowed to ask big questions about this insane reality we inhabit outside of approved religious constructs. There is comfort to be found in that.

And I think one of the most interesting aspects of this game is that the deeper you dive, you only find more questions with very few answers, because the game refuses to give up anything to the likes of you, and this over time causes the freedom ending to go from an unfulfilling, hypocritical story to something surprisingly meaningful. Sadly, there is no grand storyteller coming to narrate us an escape from this clown car of a society before it smashes into a wall, but it's a nice sentiment to think that Stanley can be happy. That is what I tried to capture in this ASMR project.

But of course, even the narrator thinks he's just a temporarily embarrassed millionaire, when he really is nothing more than another cog in the workings of this perpetual motion machine. I think if he were capable of understanding that, maybe he would not have erased Stanley's co-workers and instead created a narrative of collective empowerment. Maybe it would have given them a fighting chance against something so much bigger than any one of them, but this game will always remain a reflection of real life, where everyone thinks they are the main character of their own story, at the expense of everybody else. Maybe I can't help but project my own ideals upon it out of the hope that a destructive loop can be broken, because the way I see it, if nothing matters and all of our actions are meaningless in the grand scheme of things, giving up and not caring is the easiest thing in the world, but, if nothing truly matters, then it is a radical act to care about the well-being of your fellow humans on this tiny, blue dot in a vast, infinite universe.

Sure, it can be said that everything is predetermined, but something that everybody misses about the confusion ending is that, even if he doesn't remember it, the narrator did break the cycle by refusing to reset. The rest of the confusion ending does not play out. The stalemate he creates forces the game into a hard reset to keep the status quo going. He may have more power than it seems. Even Stanley has more power over the cycle than what it seems at face value, considering that he too has the power to reset at literally any point within the game, and of course, he can shut it all down at a push of a button. Maybe shutting the game off is a breaking of the cycle, or maybe shutting it down is the system getting a last laugh and saying that if you end it, it will take everyone and everything along with it. If TSP has taught me anything it's that I don't know anything and can only rely upon my own interpretations. So, hey. Who can say that within these infinite repetitions and infinite instances of these characters that there isn't a loop where the narrator figured some shit out and instead of using his position in the hierarchic to blow Stanley up in petty displays of power the second his position in the system is questioned, maybe he instead helps Stanley and his co-workers seize the means of the parable. Maybe the system is too powerful to bring down, maybe it can't be taken down without it self-destructing and taking everyone with it, or maybe it can always reset everything back to a baseline and halt any progress made, or maybe there is a loop out there where everything works out for the better. Who can say.

….Thank you for coming to my TED Talk about how we as a species need a Comrade Parable. (lolololol, you came here for narrator ASMR and got a commie reading of TSP too)

#the stanley parable #ambience #asmr

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sprinklescold · 8 months

Text

A Close Reading of Ivy and Zelkov's Support Chain (and why I ship it)

These are just the opinions of an internet rando. Take it with a grain of salt. I am probably (definitely) reading too much into things here, but what else is fandom for? That disclaimer out of the way, go watch Ivy and Zelkov’s supports. I’ll wait…

Great, right? It makes a difference to hear the voice acting. I think it brings shades of meaning to the words. Plus both actors did an amazing job. Anyway, on to my (hopefully coherent) analysis.

C Support:

Ivy: Ugh…

Zelkov: What is the meaning of this sound, Princess Ivy?

Ivy: Just a headache.

Zelkov: I hope you are not overworking yourself.

He sounds so genuinely concerned here. Looking at all his supports together, it’s obvious how much he wants to take care of the people around him, whether he realizes it or not.

Ivy: I’m fine. And there is no need to pretend you care. I know you are not fond of me.

She’s clearly upset about the fact she thinks he doesn’t like or truly care about her. She doubts his motives and his honesty, likely due to her childhood experiences with the Elusian court. I’m going to note the use of the word “fond” here. It suggests something softer and more affectionate than if they had just used the word “like.”

Zelkov: Hm. Let me make this absolutely clear. My concern for your well-being is genuine. It is, after all, my responsibility.

Ivy: Hmm…

Zelkov: Yet for some reason, it concerns you whether I have fond feelings toward you. So, allow me to state it plainly. I do not have fond feelings toward you, Princess Ivy. I see such things as irrelevant. Whatever my sentiments may be, what matters is that you have my obedience.

He is very careful to keep her at arms length. My interpretation would be that, due to his past, he tries not to get close to people for fear of losing them. He chooses to minimize and leave his feelings unexamined (“whatever [his] sentiments may be…”), in favor of focusing on his work.

Ivy: What a curious thing for my own retainer to say. But that’s a relief. I don’t like you either.

This, to me, sounds like she’s lashing out in order to hurt him for his supposed dislike, and also to protect herself. I don’t like you, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t like me. But note that he never actually says that he doesn’t like her, just that he isn’t “fond” of her.

Zelkov: I will obey you regardless.

He doesn’t particularly seem to want agency over his own life, which goes with his philosophy of “killing time until time kills you.” His work is all that matters, so he’s just going to do whatever Ivy tells him to. But he doesn’t just obey orders. He sees her well-being as his responsibility (i.e. he can’t help but feel the need to take care of her).

Ivy: So good to hear.

Some sarcasm from Ivy. What I get from this C support is two people whose perceptions are colored by their traumatic pasts. They’re both acting indifferent trying to protect themselves from being hurt.

B Support:

Zelkov: There is nothing quite so isolating as pain. It cannot be explained. The only window to understanding it is experience. Does that mean we are destined to be strangers to one another? Not at all. For we possess the gift of wisdom, by which we may intuit what we cannot see. I have distilled this wisdom to its essence. I have corked it within this tincture. This vessel encapsulates the light which will dispel the dark fog of your isolation.

Ivy: … I’m sorry, what is happening? What is this?

Zelkov: Headache medicine.

So this whole exchange is funny, but when you really look at the meaning of what he’s saying, it’s pretty touching. It’s due to their past (emotional) pain that both of them isolate themselves, but he’s here showing her sympathy. He wants to stop her from being in pain.

Ivy: You’re saying you made this? For me?

She sounds so happy.

Zelkov: Yes. As your retainer, I have a duty to serve you by every available means.

Ivy: I… Thank you.

And then she sounds so disappointed.

Zelkov: Your thanks are unnecessary. I am only doing my duty.

Once again he’s trying to push her away and convince himself that he’s only doing his job.

Ivy: … Thank you for reaffirming exactly why I dislike you. That said… I admit I appreciate your honesty. Many in your position would flatter or lie. You speak your mind. I respect that.

So she never explicitly says why she dislikes him, but what exactly did he do that reaffirmed it? Well, he was pushing her away, treating her like a responsibility rather than a person. She wants so badly for him to like her as a person. Despite being disappointed, she’s still grateful for the gesture, so she tries to be nice in return. She’s been surrounded by flatterers and liars her whole life, so his blunt honesty is something she values (although I don’t think Zelkov’s being totally honest with himself about his own motivations).

Zelkov: I, uh…

When she praises him is the only time I can think of that he gets tongue tied like this.

Ivy: Did you…have something more to say?

She really wants him to have something more to say.

Zelkov: Apologies, Princess Ivy. The sentiment merely surprised me. I will take my leave and attend to my other duties. Rest well.

He would probably take it at face value when she says she doesn’t like him. Once again, he distracts himself with work to avoid thinking about his feelings.

Ivy: I will. Thank you, Zelkov.

She sounds genuine here and is smiling. The B support is sort of a two steps forward, one step back situation. They’re both reaching out to each other, even if they can’t quite admit it to themselves.

A Support:

Ivy: Zelkov, I have something for you.

Zelkov: A paintbrush? Is this for me?

Ivy: Yes. To thank you for the headache medicine. I understand you’re a painter. But if you have no need for it, feel free to get rid of it.

Despite the fact that she said she doesn’t like him, she wants to give him a gift to show her gratitude for his kindness (even though she thinks he doesn’t like her and is just doing it out of a sense of obligation). She’s taken some initiative in finding out about him as a person and not just as her retainer. Although, once again she tries to protect herself by acting cool, saying that it’s really not that big of a deal and that she wouldn’t care if he threw it away.

Zelkov: On the contrary─I will take exquisite care of it. Thank you.

I don’t think he’s used to people being kind to him.

Ivy: I’m…glad you like it.

Zelkov: I… Princess Ivy, I hope you know I enjoy my work. In fact, when I have a task before me, it is my way to immerse myself in it entirely. In those times, and only those times, my mind is truly at peace. So long as I am your retainer, so long as there is work to do…I have a purpose. That is how deeply I appreciate working for you.

He responds very intensely to her gift. Put another way, he’s saying “My purpose is to be your retainer.” That’s a pretty strong statement. He must find something in Ivy very valuable if that’s the case. This does also show how little meaning he sees in his own life.

Ivy: I see. If that’s true, then I’m happy to have you.

She’s still hesitant to take him at his word (“if that’s true…”), but she’s pleased to hear that he enjoys working for her regardless.

Zelkov: These are indeed my true feelings. You know I am unwilling to lie or flatter.

Ivy: Yes, you’ve made that clear.

She’s laughing here.

Zelkov: I hope you will never hesitate to delegate any task to me. I would die for you, my liege, and gladly.

Fellas, is it romantic to say you would gladly die for someone? I mean, he’s saying “I would do literally anything for you.” It seems fairly obvious to me that if Zelkov were to theoretically fall in love with someone he would be completely, head-over-heels, obsessed with them. He never gives anything less than 110%.

Ivy: Gladly? Despite your lack of fond feelings toward me?

She’s feeling things out here, curious (hopeful?) about his change in attitude. Even at this point she seems guarded. I think it would be hard for her to accept the idea that someone (you know, hypothetically) loved her. She would need a lot of reassurance.

Zelkov: My feelings… may have changed. I now think of you as an acceptable liege.

Before, he was able to express his feelings by talking about how much he appreciated his work, but when it comes to talking about his feelings for her, he has a much harder time.

Ivy: I find you acceptable as well, Zelkov.

Based on the tone of voice, I don’t think being called “acceptable” was quite what she wanted, but she is also terrible at talking about her feelings.

Zelkov: Hm, kind of you to say.

Ivy: However, dying for my sake is not a task to which I will assign you. Gladly or otherwise. Consider yourself under strict orders to survive as you continue to serve me.

Telling someone not to die for you kind of seems like basic human decency, but when you think about them being liege and retainer, it would be part of the job description. Taking into account the conversation in chapter 10 where she gives him and Kagetsu the opportunity to leave, this is the second time she’s shown that she values his life above his responsibilities to her. She doesn’t consider her life as being more important than his. Digging into the subtext a bit, with his statement about “So long as I am your retainer, so long as there is work to do…I have a purpose.” (among other things he says) you get the feeling that the man is only holding on by a thread. “...Survive as you continue to serve me” would be a way of saying “Don’t do anything drastic. Stay with me.”

Zelkov: You may rely on me, Princess Ivy.

“I won’t die. I’ll continue to be here for you.”

They still haven’t quite let down their walls, but they at least have come to an understanding. Their B and A supports are a very subtle back and forth of them putting themselves out there and the other responding in kind. For these two, that feels very significant.

Even from my first viewing of their supports (which was before I shipped them) it felt like Ivy was all into him in their C and B, and then when he admitted that he did like her in their A support her response was strangely reserved. You could come up with some reason, like she wasn’t expecting his reaction and didn’t properly know how to respond (and I mean… fair). Or maybe she was thrown off by the use of the word “acceptable” and isn’t quite sure how he really feels. Or maybe the idea of having someone feel that strongly about her scared her and caused her to withdraw a bit. But I think it really comes down to Fire Emblem having three short supports to create a whole character arc, and in this game they have to be platonic (although some definitely read more romantically than others).

And here’s where I get into my own shippy interpretation. They each have what the other desperately wants. They supply something to the other that is missing from their life. Ivy very much wants to be valued as a person. She wants someone to make her feel safe and cared for. Zelkov wants to be needed and have someone to take care of. She needs to be loved and he needs someone to love. But of course she would love him because he loves her and he would love her because she loves him until they’re in this continuous feedback loop of being obsessed with each other.

[Edit 2: I had a thing here about how it might not be the healthiest relationship (and sure, it's not) but I'll replace that with a hot take. A therapist definition of a healthy relationship is tepid as hell. If both of you aren't head over heels, willing to do anything the other asks, in love, then I don't want it. Note that I said BOTH. Also note that I'm just an idiot on the internet and this is not advice and you shouldn't have fictional characters as relationship goals.]

[Edit 1: I wanted to add a few other thoughts here. In every fic I've read where the two of them interact in any significant way, they always have the best relationship. (And I don't mean that in a shippy way, since I'm just about the only one writing Zelai fics.) It's always clear that Zelkov knows and understands Ivy better than anyone, and Ivy trusts Zelkov completely. And it recently came to my attention that there are TWO people in the game who can't say the word "love" when engaged with Sigurd. Two emotionally stunted people who just can't admit to having feelings. I swear it makes me go crazy.]

#fire emblem engage #fe engage #zelkov #ivy (fire emblem)#Me? Obsessing over my OTP? Never!#engage brainrot #zelai

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svturn-exe · 4 months

Text

some stuff abt my favorite iredeemable freak ^_^ uhhhhh some general warnings . lots of talk abt murder (he's a slasher it is what it is) some mention of/implied child abuse, vague reference to cannibalism, white man jumpscare

how kenny goes from revenge killing his abuser to just straight up serial killing:

▶kenny kills his old man & gets away with it

▶he wants to relive that moment of finally feeling like he had power over his father, but he's not a necromancer. so he goes for the next best thing: finding an older man to kill pov you are my dad (you're my dad) boogie woogie woogie style

▶eventually (after a couple more kills or smth) kenny is like man if im gonna keep this up and not get caught i have got to find a way to get them somewhere out of public (this is prob b4 he learns the art of breaking and entering)

▶kenny switches to primarily targeting older married men. because he needs to get his victims to go somewhere secluded and out of the way with him, and whats the one thing a young, pretty guy can offer older, unhappily married men that will get them to go somewhere alone with him in secret?

▶eventually through whatever means kenny has the realization that oh. this isn't limited to just dirty old men. i just Like Killing In General, and just about Anybody will follow you just about anywhere if you're cute enough and they think ur gonna let them hit ▶kenny officially enters his 'he should NOT be at the club' era

the mess kenny's trial causes:

▶the people living in foxhole are generally very frustrated with the police. aside from more general acab reasons, public opinion of the police department is very low bc there are so many murders/missing persons cases and no answers or any real progress being made. general consensus is that the police are incompetent (real and true tbh).

▶kenny's trial doesn't help the police salvage their image. he doesn't refute any of the allegations made against him, freely admitting to any murder they pin on him - and to be fair. he did commit a good amount of them. he also just as freely admits when he doesn't remember committing specific murders, but still goes 'yeah i probably did that' anyway, bc he isn't aware of vivian's existence yet ▶for his part, kenny doesn't care enough to dispute the crimes he Didn't commit. and hey, for all he knows? maybe he does sometimes just black out and eat people in the woods. genuinely weirder shit has happened to him ▶ken phoenix is sentenced to death. somehow it gets out to the public that ken was not conclusively deemed fit to stand trial, but was tried anyway. some believe kenny wasn't a murderer, and was in fact just a very, Very mentally ill man, sparking public outrage over the police's incompetence. but like, no guys. they actually got it right this time. it's just that there is a second freak out there

▶normally, death row inmates can be there for years, up to literal decades. kenny's execution was fast tracked - so many people have been dying/going missing & the police need a win. they want this guy dead asap so they can tell the public look! we got the guy he's dead the day is saved and we're definitely not incompetent :)smile . but then the killings continue, even though ken phoenix is (legally) dead

▶him going from trial to sentencing to death row to lethal injection so quickly contributes to public outrage, alongside the killings continuing even after kenny is "killed." the public's fuck-the-police meter is at an all time high, and there's a secret third freak looking to take advantage of that sentiment (hi simon ^_^)

other shit:

▶ken is vain in a very smug way. he knows he's got a cute face and uses it for evil ▶kenny's burns were definitely a lot more extensive when they were fresh, bc kiera and cindy Trapped him in a locked room in that house before lighting it the fuck up. and after a certain point the house just collapses and buries him in on-fire wood, and he just cooks in there for a bit b4 vivian comes along and picks him up by the scruff out of the smoldering wreckage ▶for a while, until they start to heal, kenny is just wiped the fuck out on whatever surface vivian dumps him on. bc existing hurts and he's in desperate need of aloe vera ▶kenny is 12 when his mother is murdered, 19 when he kills his father, and by the time he's arrested and put on trial, he's 23 and in his 2nd year of college. he's almost exactly 10 years younger than vivian ▶ken's pupils are stuck at maximum dilation, but his eyes are so dark it's normally impossible to tell. if a uv light is shined on his eyes, however, the thin rings of his irides can be seen. but good luck getting him to keep his eyes open long enough to see - his eyes are very sensitive to light, despite being so dark. this also contributes to him becoming mostly nocturnal after the lethal injection ▶your greatest self defense weapon against kenny is one of those super laser blast industrial flashlights. or one of those stupid strong laser pointers that can get you arrested if you shine them at an airplane. shine that shit in his eyes and sprint for your life ▶ken is very pale, has a far slower-than-average heart rate, runs cold, and doesn't blink very often. if need be, he can play a very convincing corpse ▶hypothetically, if somewhere who were, say, extra sensitive to psychic & supernatural phenomena were to come into direct contact with whatever it is that's keeping kenny alive and everybody's problem. it would not end well ▶after kenny is put to death, from a forensic standpoint, they have no fucking idea what's going on. the leading theory is that the real killer stole ken's corpse from the morgue and is dragging him around on a tour-de-stab to mock the police. in reality, that weasely twink just woke up in the morgue and walked out ▶during the sentencing hearing, as the judge is giving justification for why kenny's sentence is what it is, they make a comment along of lines of 'i would not be surprised if he had assisted his father in his mother's killing.' this pisses kenny the fuck off, and he attempts to get at the judge and kill them right then and there. he's cuffed down, but cuffs don't mean much to a guy who cares more about throttling you until you neck snaps than he does about not breaking his own wrists. ▶the first thing kenny does after he gets vivian to sew him back up and let him out the cabin is he's tracking down that fucking judge that Dared to imply he'd kill his mom and Obliterating them. bro is gonna turn them into a human jigsaw puzzle it's so over

#svturn's ocs #oc: kenny

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