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lt-natrace · 2 years

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just saying

Description: your childhood best friend, bob, is getting really sick of the men you date

Content: being cheated on, mentions of the bird strike, mentions of alcohol, going through a man’s phone, little woman quotes, thinking no one will ever love you like you deserve, little bobby being hurt for like 3 minutes but i fix it, childhood best friends to lovers

Word Count: 2.8k

I wrote this for @jostystyles playlist writing challenge and it was supposed to be posted like 3 weeks ago but life happens sometimes. I chose the song just saying but specifically the lyric "he says he loves you but it's all an act". This also wasn't beta'd so any mistakes are mine and you should just ignore them.

“He just gives me a weird feeling, okay?” Bob said once again, earning an eye roll from you as you walked from the bathroom to your closet.

“Bob,” you started, causing him to look up at you, “I’m not having this conversation again.”

He let out a huff of annoyance and crossed his arms like he used when you’d fight as children. After two decades of being Bob’s best friend, he’s never really changed his habits or learned to let you make your own mistakes. Despite what everyone may think looking at your career paths, a wizzo for the navy and a freelance writer, he was the more reserved and anxious one in the friendship. Even as kids, he would be the one to ask if something was a good idea and as teenagers he would always scold you for making bad choices. It was one of the things that made your friendship work so well.

“Whatever,” he replied flatly, standing up from where he was sitting on your bed, “I have to meet Phoenix for lunch, be safe tonight.”

You gave him a small smile and mumbled out an “I will” as he turned to walk out your front door, leaving you alone with your thoughts. He was your best friend but he drove you insane with how critical he was of the guys you went out with. Bob has always found something wrong or suspicious with each of the guys you’ve dated; Jason made you cry too much, Ethan was too flirty, Zach was too old and so on and so forth. Maybe he ended up being right about every single one of them but Carter was different, seriously. He had a stable job at his Dad’s company, took you to nice dinners and the sex wasn’t bad. Despite all these facts, Bob didn’t like him. All it took was one dinner with him and Bob called you on the way home to tell you everything he thought was wrong. It didn’t matter, Bob wasn’t the boss of you and didn’t get to have a say in who you dated, even if it started fights between the two of you.

—-------

A few hours had passed since Bob left your apartment and the sound of loud banging on the front door pulled you from your research. You closed your laptop screen slightly and walked towards the door, slowly checking the peep hole to see who was waiting on the other side. To your surprise you were met with the sight of Bob, frantically fixing his glasses and trying to catch his breath. He jumped slightly as you opened the front door, letting out a sigh of relief as his eyes met yours.

“Oh thank goodness you haven’t left yet.” He said, pushing past you and turning to face you as he got a few steps into your apartment, “I need to tell you something, it’s really important.”

You’d seen Bob shaken up many times in your life, but this was a whole new level. His hands were shaking, his face was flushed from what you assumed was him running up the multiple flights of stairs and he was pacing back and forth. You watched him for a moment, trying to take in his energy and figure out what could possibly have gotten him so worked up. He stared at you until you motioned him to speak.

“Carter,” he started and you let out a groan of frustration, “No, I’m serious, you need to listen to me. He was at lunch with some girl, she had dark hair and-”

“Jesus Christ,” you cut him off as before verifying the time on your watch, “He was probably getting lunch with a coworker or a business partner.”

“Do you hold hands and pay for business partner’s lunches?” He pushed back as he took a few more steps and began to lean onto the counter. It wasn’t until this moment that you realized how much broader he had gotten on his most recent deployment. You walked to the other side of the island and matched his motion in a sad attempt to stand your ground against him, “He wouldn’t do that to me, he loves me.” You tried, unsure of who you were trying to convince at this point.

“Do you even hear yourself right now? That douchebag has you so wrapped around his fucking finger that you would do anything to defend him, he says he loves you but it’s all an act, he has someone behind your back!” Bob snapped back, his voice suddenly taking up the kitchen. He was never one to raise his voice, especially at a woman and his actions only made you angrier.

“You know what, I know what this is about. You’re jealous,” your voice was laced with venom as you spoke and Bob let out a small laugh, “Yeah, you’re jealous that I’ve found someone I wanna tell everything to and you haven’t. I can’t be that for you forever Bob, it’s time to grow up.”

Bob swore he’d felt his heart break when he had to watch you go to prom with the quarterback or when he couldn’t find Phoenix after their ejection. But this feeling as he watched you walk away from him was worse than heartbreak, this made his stomach turn and he had to fight back the bile rising in his throat. Before you could say anything else, Bob was storming out of your apartment and slamming the door so hard you swore the hinges came off. You and Bob had fought before but never anything like this. You wanted to run after him and tell him you didn’t mean any of it but you couldn’t. Your feet stayed planted in your kitchen, the silence somehow louder than the argument that had just taken place.

As if on cue, your phone began to ring and a picture of Carter from the last date you two had gone on flashed across the screen. For a moment, you debated ignoring it, Bob’s accusations still heavy in the back of your mind. You pushed them back as you answered the call and tried to hide the shake in your voice.

—----

It’s been nearly a month since your fight with Bob. The two of you had spoken a few times but mainly conversations in passing about your days or if the other was going out that weekend. Bob had tried to make amends a few times but you ignored every attempt, he had no right to step into your relationship and throw accusations like that with not even a grainy picture to back it up. Above all, you were upset that he put such an idea into your mind in the first place. Now you felt like you were putting Carter’s every action under a microscope and looking for a flaw in it, even if you genuinely believed he was innocent.

You cursed Bob again as you tried desperately to see if Carter had left his location turned on. To your dismay, he hadn’t. He was supposed to pick you up for dinner over an hour ago. It wasn’t the first time he was late but it was the first time he didn’t have an excuse. He had a tough job and was usually forced to stay late at the office working on whatever he did all day. It wasn’t that you didn’t care to ask, he just assured you it was complicated and difficult to understand. Usually you’d pace for a little and then clean up a bit so it looked nice when he got here, but not this time. You sat on the couch, your heels ditched as you refreshed his location again.

After a few more moments, you heard the spare key clicking the lock of your front door open and sprang to your feet as he opened the door. He was still in his work suit with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of expensive wine in one hand and take out from your favorite restaurant in the other. You couldn’t help but be slightly disappointed at the canceled plans after the effort you had put in getting ready but you could never turn down a night in, especially after what you assumed was a hard day on his part.

“Woman, my god you look good. If I knew this was what was waiting for me I would have told them to cancel the meeting all together.” He said as you made your way over to him and reached up to kiss his cheek, “Let me grab a quick shower and we can eat, feel free to open that bottle up.”

Usually this action would have warmed your heart but you can’t help but hear Bob’s voice repeating over and over in your mind. You’ve never been the jealous type, if someone wanted to go out and ruin what you had they could go ahead and do it, their loss. However, the sight of his phone sitting on the counter, lost under the flowers caused something to change in your mind. It’s an invasion of privacy absolutely, but what if it just unlocked when you moved it?

A text lighting up his screen pulled you from your thoughts. A picture from someone named Brett flashed across the screen. Against what you were raised to believe was right or wrong, you unlocked it. The picture filled the screen and you saw a t-shirt that you had bought him on someone who was definitely not Brett. She had dark brown hair that fell to one side and the hem was pulled up slightly to reveal black lace. You listened for a second to see if the water was still running before scrolling through more messages. Most of them were plans to meet up at some point but one in particular caught your eye. It was from almost a month ago and he was reassuring her that Bob hadn’t noticed they were at the restaurant. Your stomach turned and you held back a dry heave as you grabbed your phone to take pictures of the messages.

You pushed back your tears as you heard the water turn off and quickly put the phone back to where it was, preparing yourself to watch his every move as you poured a heavy glass of wine. It only took him a moment to appear back in the kitchen, his suit traded for a pair of sweats and you made your way to him, holding your arms out for a hug. He put his arms around you and you could feel his gaze behind you on the counter, frantic eyes hoping to see his phone in the same spot.

“Oh honey, some guy named Brett texted you while you were upstairs.” You said as you pulled away.

He saw him tense for a moment before quickly relaxing in an attempt to not raise suspicions. He made his way towards the cupboard to grab a glass and you continued, “he said he found one of your shirts, I think it was the one I got you from that concert a few months ago.”

The glass slipped from his hands and he turned around quickly, “It’s not what you think.”

You stared blankly at him as you attempted to control your breathing and stay calm. He really thought you were stupid and would believe him.

“Not what I think?” you questioned, your voice cracking at the end, “What it looks like is while I’ve put my dreams on hold to be your housewife in training, you’ve been going out and fucking an intern while I wait at home, hoping you’ll be home before dinner gets cold.”

He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. You spoke up again before he got a chance to reply, “Get out”

His face twisted in confusion, assuming he misheard you, “What did you say?”

“I’m telling you to get out, I want my spare key on the counter now and I’ll leave your stuff at your house later.” You replied, shocked at how much you were able to hide the shakiness of your voice. In the nearly year of dating, you had never talked back to him and the shock on his face told you that no one ever had.

It didn’t take long for the anger and shock to fade into embarrassment. In fact by the time your feet felt the cool bathroom tile, a few tears had begun to fall. The sight of the makeup and outfit you spent too much time on in an attempt to impress Carter only made them fall harder. They weren’t out of sadness for the situation but instead for how you treated Bob when he tried to warn you. You stared at your phone for a moment, debating if it was too late to call him. You decided to give it a try anyways and the sight of Bob’s contact photo caused your heart to break even further as the fear that you might have ruined everything hit you. It was an old photo from college that you took as he subtly flipped you off and you wondered if the two of you could ever go back to how it was then.

He picked up on the second ring and the sound of his slight drawl caused a small smile to appear on your face, “Hello?”

You sniffled deeply and heard rustling coming through the speaker, “Are you okay?”

Before you could reply, you heard Bob’s front door slamming and his shoes hitting the pavement quickly. The call was disconnected as he got into his truck and you were left in silence with your thoughts again. You debated changing but couldn’t convince your body to get up and face yourself in the mirror.

The sound of your front door being opened a few minutes later caused you to lift your head from the bathroom floor, “Carter, I told you-” you started before seeing who had opened the door, “Bob? You came.”

“You called.” He replied, kneeling down next to you and pushing your hair off of your face. You couldn’t imagine how you must have looked, mascara beginning to smear under your eyes, your hair getting caught on your dampened cheeks. Despite this, Bob’s face didn’t falter, he only used his hands to push your hair off your face and his thumbs to wipe your cheeks.

“You were right,” you started as you sat up slightly, your eyes unable to meet his, “I feel so stupid.”

Bob’s body tensed, his jaw clenching as he wrapped his arms around you. This isn’t the first break up Bob had held you through and at this point, it won’t be the last. Despite all the times your exes had tried to get Bob out of your life, he has always been there to pick up the pieces they left you in.

“I’m scared no one will ever love me,” you whispered so quietly, if it wasn’t for your head against Bob’s neck he probably wouldn’t have heard you.

You felt Bob’s breath hitch at your admission and another wave of embarrassment washed over you. It was a thought that circled your mind but it was usually late into the night after Carter had turned his back to you and he thought you couldn’t hear him texting on his phone. Bob didn’t say anything for a few minutes and the pit in your stomach only grew. Eventually he spoke, his voice nearly as quiet as yours.

“I have loved you ever since I have known you”

His words hung in the air for what felt like an eternity. His once calm heartbeat was now pounding against yours as the two of you stayed holding each other on the cold tile. The embarrassment and anger from earlier faded to anxious butterflies as you sat up straight to look into his eyes. Half of you expected to wake up and be laying next to Carter, all of this having been a dream. But there he was, the man you have loved since you were a teenager, admitting he felt the same in his spiderman pajama pants.

Bob cut you off as you opened your mouth, “I’ve waited far too long to tell you and I know this is horrible timing and if you don’t feel the same that’s fine but I have to tell you before I lose you to someone-”

“Shut up,” you mumbled before closing the small gap between the two of you. The kiss was light and slow, unlike any other man you’d ever been with. There was no rush to go to work or get into bed, just this moment and you were determined to make it last.

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while, both trying to absorb the events from the night. Eventually Bob helped you up from the ground, wiped the smeared makeup off and helped you into bed. Not the first time he had done so but the first time it was followed by him crawling in next to you and holding you close.

#my writing #bob #robert bob floyd #bob floyd #robert bob floyd fanfiction #robert bob floyd fic #bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd fic #bob floyd x reader #top gun #top gun fanfiction #top gun fic #this is literally the third rewrite of this fic #i hated everything i did #also the ending is rushed so what #top gun maverick

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endwersed · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday

Tagged by the brilliant @dear-massacre 🥰

I haven't been able to work on my current WIP much this week, so here's a li'l something from the nanny AU I started a while ago instead!

“The novelty starts to wear off around the time they learn the word why,” his dad adds drily, a teasing eyebrow quirked. “You should have at least a year to enjoy before that, though.”

Stiles refuses to let his brain drift to thoughts of whether he’ll even be around in a year to see it. Not now, not when Derek’s smile is huge and warm and so full of unbridled love as he looks between his son and Stiles, not when Jake is babbling an impressively steady stream of dadadada, much to all of their delight.

In that moment, he simply decides – fuck it.

It’s absolutely true that none of this is real. But he’s going to enjoy every second of it that he can before it all blows up in his face.

The rest of his dad’s brief visit passes easily enough; Jake regaling them all with his new word while the rest of the conversation flows freely around it. Derek is polite, saying all the right things to make the Sheriff like him, regard him with a quiet sense of approval.

When it’s time for him to head off, his dad and Derek shake hands before he rubs an affectionate hand over the growing hair on Jake’s head. Stiles offers to walk with him to his car, and they chat amiably up until they reach his cruiser, at which point his dad cuts off with a frown, leaning against the closed door of the car and levelling Stiles with a look he hasn’t seen since he was a teenager.

“What?” Stiles asks, eyes wide and something like dread welling up inside him.

His dad doesn’t answer immediately. His gaze slides along the path they just travelled before pulling back to meet Stiles’ eyes. Stiles feels his heartbeat quicken as his dad narrows his eyes.

“You need to be careful here, Stiles,” he says.

Stiles does everything he can to not show a single visible sign of how those words affect him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replies, forcing nonchalance.

“He’s married,” his dad presses on, as always too goddamn switched on. “He won’t feel the same way you do. And that’s not even getting into the fact that he’s your boss.”

“I don’t,” Stiles starts to deny.

“You need to get over your feelings,” his dad cuts over him, “and if you can’t do that – you need to quit.”

Stiles swallows thickly. Unconsciously, his eyes dart over to the blanket where Derek and Jake sit, Derek still with an utterly astonished look on his face as Jake repeats those two incredible syllables again and again and again. His dad’s face is kind, sympathetic, when he looks back to him, and Stiles nods once, stiff and quick.

“It’s just a crush,” he lies. “I’ll get over it.”

After a long moment, his dad nods in return. He pushes away from the car and tugs Stiles into a hug, one hand at the back of his head as he presses his lips lightly against Stiles’ temple.

“I’m just a phone call away if you ever need me,” his dad says, pulling away to look him right in the eye. “And I mean ever. You got that?”

Stiles smiles wanly. “It’s just a crush, dad. It’ll be fine.”

It's just as much of a lie for his own, stupid heart.

No pressure tags! @crownofstardustandbone @raisesomehale @thotpuppy @renmackree

#sterek #my fic #i do have plans to come back and finish this fic off at some point #but my main wip atm is still the abo fic i posted the other week #my inspo/motivation has been a little... muddled lately lol #but i have kept my entire upcoming weekend free and i WILL write!

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drabmakyo · 1 year

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Did you know that I write a lot about memory, skunks, uploading consciousness, political maneuvering, skunks, aliens, skunks, queerness, identity, emotions, and skunks? It's true! I'm very proud of them. You can read books best described as

Given the chance to live forever in a world not built for death, what do you do?

Given the inability to forget—all your joys and sorrows, all your foundational memories and traumas—how do you cope?

Given the ability to create a full copy of yourself—down to every single one of those memories—to do as they will, to individuate and live out their own forever lives, or merge back down and meld their memories with your own, what paths do you take?

and

If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally wrote something with heavy plural undertones that I hadn't intended but nonetheless made me doubt my identity, I'd have two nickels! Which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.

The Post-Self Cycle is a tetralogy of meta-furry¹, gender-weird sci-fi books. From the very beginning of the consensual dream of the System, the members of the Ode clade, all forks from the same core personality, have dealt with fear each in their own way. Do they search for greater ways to control their lives? Do they hunt for yet deeper emotional connection? Do they hone their art to the finest point?

From roots in political turmoil to the building of a new society, the story is there to be found, and the Bălan clade is there to tell it.

Digital versions come with illustrations from five artists — Iris Jay, Jade Laclede, Floe, CadmiumTea, and johnny a.

Available as paperbacks, ebooks, and free to read in the browser. Omnibus ebook and illustrated hardcovers coming soon!

Book I — Qoheleth

"All artists search. I search for stories, in this post-self age. What happens when you can no longer call yourself an individual, when you have split your sense of self among several instances? How do you react? Do you withdraw into yourself, become a hermit? Do you expand until you lose all sense of identity? Do you fragment? Do you go about it deliberately, or do you let nature and chance take their course?"

With immersive technology at its peak, it's all too easy to get lost. When RJ loses emself in that virtual world, not only must ey find eir way out, but find all the answers ey can along the way.

And, nearly a century on, society still struggles with the ramifications of those answers.

Features the bonus novella Gallery Exhibition: A Love Story.

Madison finds a way to address not only the joys and terrors of integrated simulation technology, but also tackles questions of gender and identity while telling a pretty gripping mystery story in the process.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book II — Toledot

"I am saying that you trust me — really trust me — and that life in the System is more subtle than I think you know. You let me into your dreams, my dear, and your dreams influence this place as much as, if not more than, your waking mind."

No longer bound to the physical, what lengths should one go to in a virtual world to ensure the continuity of one's existence?

Secession. Launch. Two separations from two societies, two hundred years apart. And through it all, so many parallels run on so many levels that it can be dizzying just keeping up. The more Ioan and Codrin Bălan learn, the more it calls into question the motivations of even those they hold most dear.

Madison Scott-Clary . . . trusts her readers to be able to understand a completely different culture and existence than our own, and makes it compelling to do so.

— Payson R. Harris

Book III — Nevi'im

"Do you know how old I am, Dr. Brahe? I am 222 years old, a fork of an individual who is...who would be 259 years old. I am no longer the True Name of 2124. Even remembering her feels like remembering an old friend. I remember her perfectly, and yet I do not remember how to be earnest. I do not know how to simply be."

The cracks are showing.

Someone picked up on the broadcast from the Dreamer Module and as the powers that be rush to organize a meeting between races, Dr. Tycho Brahe is caught up in a whirlwind of activity. And as always, when the drama goes down, there is Codrin Bălan to witness it.

When faced with eternity in a new kind of digital world, however, old traumas come to roost, and those who were once powerful are brought to their knees

Growth is colliding with memory, and the cracks are showing.

These characters are so well realized, so fleshed out, that I can’t help but to gush about how their interactions with each other inform the central plot of the book.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book IV — Mitzvot

"To be built to love is to be built to dissolve. It is to be built to unbecome. It is to have the sole purpose of falling apart all in the name of someone else."

Even the grandest of stories can feel small and immediate when it's just one person's life.

One of the most well-known names from one of the most well-known clades on the System, the avatar of political machinations and cool confidence, has been brought low. With help coming only from Ioan Bălan and the most grudging of support from her cocladists, all True Name has left to save herself is the ability to change.

Features the bonus novella Selected Letters.

Mitzvot drills down deeper into the lives of its characters and shows us that between the world-shattering projects that change the very understanding of the System, they’re just people trying to live their lives with love and purpose.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Keep an eye out for Clade, an anthology of short stories from nine authors set in the universe, coming later this year.

----------

¹ That is, about members of the furry subculture rather than just furry characters.

#post-self #sci-fi #meta-furry #books and reading

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oraclekleo · 2 months

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33rd Birthday!

Hello my dear followers and random visitors of my blog.

I have already made a sorry announcement due to my hiatus but that’s not all I wanted to tell you.

This Monday, April 15th 2024 to be precise, is my Birthday. I’m already 33 years old! Would you believe that? I certainly wouldn’t. I feel like 16. 😂

And how pretty the number is, right? Two threes… My life path number is also 3. How neat is that, huh?

When it comes to angel number 33, this source says the following:

“The 33 angel number means anything is possible. This powerful angel number is also known as a master number because of its double digits mirroring each other and its powerful vibrations. The number 33 is linked to themes around creative thinking, deep compassion, spiritual-level connections, discipline, and bravery. When you see this number show up it could be because it's an opportune time for a change or because patience is paramount right now in your daily life because a spiritual meaning that will have major significance is soon to be revealed.”

Nothing can be more true for me as major change is about to happen for me. I don’t want to reveal what it is just now but I will keep you informed in time. 😜

And no, I’m not dating anyone 🤣 Still happily Sexy, free and single.

I did want to celebrate my birthday with you with some sort of event but as you know I was really busy so… I guess we will celebrate my 44th Birthday properly? LOL!

Honestly, I have a lot to be grateful for in my life, you guys in my little community included. I hope we can stay together for many years that come and have some more fun with both serious and kinky tarot readings.

And those might soon become even better articulate and with much more expressive vocabulary as your girl Kleo is currently fully immersed in listening to audio erotica, which is really good! I mean… not all of it but I have already found several favourite voice actors, their voice and style really suiting me and apart from having a good time listening to it while working (yes, I do listen to audio porn while at work, sue me if you want), I also learn a lot from it. You know I can just soak information like a sponge from anything I do and well… This is a really good source. Also, I’m considering holding a voice chat once in a while with my friends now as I really want to learn to use my voice as well as I use my fingers for typing. And yes, I tested with my bestie and I nearly choked when I had to pronounce word ‘f*ck’ out loud. You wouldn’t guess it by reading my posts but I’m really talking like a lady out loud. I rarely curse or say rude words. 🤭

I also learned about very surprising preferences through this audio erotica experience. I swear I didn’t expect to love what I love so much. It came as a shock and I truly thought my preferences to be completely different from what I actually enjoy the most. I guess there’s still a lot to learn about myself. Another great thing about my new hobby. You know how much I love to learn anything.

Anyway! That’s about my new hobby and about my approaching birthday.

Feel free to contact me through inbox or through DM or join my Discord. I don’t bite… unless you ask me to 😏 I’m also learning how to flirt better. You can be my test subject anytime. 😀 And no, it’s not to go hunt men, I’m way too old to change my ways and routines to fit another person’s lifestyle. My goal is actually much purer. I really like to make people happy and… well, I noticed people will feel happy, flattered and their self-esteem boosted when I flirt with them a little bit. Just another skill I’m learning in order to spread happiness and joy in the world. Might seem frivolous to you but… Well… I enjoy it. And that’s what counts for me.

So yeah! Happy Birthday to me! I’m not growing old, I’m only one year closer to death as my sister tells me every year since I was like 17. 😂 We are a weird family. Try not to think about it too much.

Thank you everyone who’s sticking around here. I promise I will post something soon. Maybe nothing super big but I will post. 🙂

Your forever joyful Oracle Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #happy bithday to me

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eccentric-nucleus · 5 months

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actually if i'm gonna make a games rec post.

here are some games i have enjoyed recent-ish.

kenshi. an open-world squad-based rpg with base-building elements. get stronger by getting beaten up. lose a fight and get knocked out, have your weapons and food taken by the bandits that mugged you and left you bleeding to death. get rescued by some slavers that capture you and sell you into slavery. free yourself from slavery and limp away until you roll in hours later with a whole squad of overpowered fighters. then head a little bit too far south and get murdered by skin bandits. they take your skin. this is a completely self-directed game; there's no "main plot", although arguably "figure out the history of the world" is kind of the main 'story' mystery. there's also a bunch of unique recruitable characters with custom-written interactions. i usually recruit exclusively from freeing slaves but you can do w/e.

wildmender. a survival gardening game. this one came out recently and the devs are still releasing bugfixes; it's unclear if they'll make large content patches in the future. apparently multiplayer can still be pretty glitchy, and there's a water flow bug that i've been finding very frustrating. the way biomes work is kind of unsatisfying. kind of slim content-wise, but still, i really enjoyed what's there. out of all of the climate change terraforming anxiety games i've seen, this has been the one i've most enjoyed.

hellpoint. a scifi soulslike made by a team of like 12 people. previously i had thought things like "it would be neat if dark souls was less linear". hellpoint is a great example of why that might be a nightmare. the areas are connected in such a complex way, with one-way routes and branching unlock keys and secret paths and hidden doors behind hidden doors that it gets profoundly disorienting. a hint: almost every single hidden door in the game (there are a lot) is the middle panel of the same exact three-paneled-wall geometry. once you notice what it is you will see it everywhere. also, the enemy designs are hot.

crystal project. remember playing fan translations of final fantasy v? remember wandering around in old mmos? crystal project is kind of a... turn-based rpg mmo-influenced platformer. with a job system. you can sequence break the game from the tutorial level and also at basically every other point in the game too, although until you know what to look for it might seem like there's a linear critical path. but there's a lot out there. hint: play on easy mode. the combat gets tough later on and the game absolutely expects you to be finding and exploiting some class combinations.

astlibra: revision. a sidescrolling rpg. it must have been released episodically originally or some of the chapter pacing makes no sense. also it was originally released with a mess of art sourced from all sorts of places; 'revision' is a re-release with a more unified art style. it gets extremely anime all the time. there's a whole obligatory section where you have to ask all the women in a town about what kind of panties they're wearing. it's rough. i enjoyed how chaotic the systems are and how much Stuff there is to pick up and upgrade and unlock. the plot goes some unexpected places though it doesn't quite stick the landing, i still enjoyed what it did. also karon should be the love interest instead.

silicon zeroes. a cpu-building puzzle game. this straddles the line between the tech/code games that are literally just "learn a new language and code in it" and ones that are more structure-themed like, idk, spacechem. connect modules to assemble solutions to problems. it takes too long to get to chapter 3, which is where they start asking you to make entire cpus.

ashen. another souls-like. i just really like the environments in this one. the initial area looks gorgeous and the way it changes through the game is really neat to see happen. the seat of the matriarch is wonderfully awful to traverse and i wish there had been two or three more dungeons like it in the game. you can't level up; you gain stats mostly by progressing sidequests and the name quest. i eventually ran out of things to spend money on AND inventory space to store items. the late-game tuning is a little rough but until then it's great. a hint: there are three weapon types and within that type nearly all the weapons are identical. you get thrown so many weapons that don't matter; don't worry about collecting all of them. see above re: running out of space and things to use money for.

i guess it would be cheating to recommend minecraft regrowth or morrowind but i have also been playing those.

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silver-horse · 7 months

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the topic of the shield of screams and the cut zevlor scene reminded me why this game in some aspects was a tiny bit of a letdown. (at least compared to early access because it's still one of the best narratives I ever had the pleasure of playing through) Many things added to the game during early access were so much more detailed, such thought went into them.

During the party celebration you went to camp and you saw Volo performing! (that was also cut) Then you had that talk with Zevlor after all he is the leader of the people you saved. It all felt so lively and natural.

And they considered things like "ok Nere is a sorcerer not a wizard. sorcerers don't learn their spells, they don't have full control over it so let's add a spell that is entirely unique and personal" and that is not only interesting but also a brilliant story telling tool for a video game. And the game was full of this stuff. This applies to the player character as well. NPCs reacted to your character based on what race or class you were playing. I wrote posts about how my chosen race (half-drow) has ZERO reactivity in acts 2 and 3. Every single reaction line NPCs have is the act 1 stuff that was already there when I played early access. Basically when it comes to the finer details the difference between ea and full release is noticeable. In large strokes they made an incredible game and story. But your individual experience won't be all that unique because the minor details are lacking in later acts.

Act 3 feels much more rushed and surface level compared to act 1. And so many scenes were cut from Act 1, I really do wonder if they cut those just to make sure Act 1 doesn't feel too good compared to the rest. tbh during ea I got used to how everything was full of life and realistic reactivity. I sometimes reload many times to look at every dialogue path or I try to check "what ifs". what if I do these quests not in the traditional order etc. During early access my experience was "wow they really considered that weird possibility. there is a reaction to that" In act 3 or even act 2... most of the time if I do slightly odd things, the game cannot react, there is no dialogue acknowledging certain choices, there isn't even dialogue where npcs notice the player's race, it's like npcs are blind to some things around them (like in most games).

I am just sad they didn't spend more time developing. because we would have been happy playing early access for as long as it lasts. it was enjoyable following the development and waiting for the new little tidbits. and everyone who didn't participate in that would have bought the full game later and they also would have been more pleased with the final result. it's just a pity act 3 was so rushed. I hope they will keep working on it. I hope new patches will be a bit like early access where with each new patch some new things were added. because especially the big ending is super rushed compared to the rest of the game.

#my thoughts #bg3 mine #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my post #my posts #larian studios #early access #shield of screams

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autumnbrambleagain · 1 year

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ultimately i think our real complaint with pathfinder wrath of the righteous is that its "difficulty" isn't so much "the enemies have very clever positioning and tatical advantages--how will you manipulate the situation to overcome it?"

it's not like the incredible oil refinery battle in Divinity Original Sin 2, where it gets WEIRD and you're fighting the environment and a new faction shows up and starts overrunning everything with weird resistances and forces you to outthink it, out-position it,

every single battle in Wrath of the Righteous is already decided long, long before the battle starts.

did you look your build up on metabuilds.quick? did you pick the Correct Feats and spells? did you reload the second combat started and then pre-buffed 30 different spells before combat began?

that's what defines the difficulty. is your build meta enough? did you read enough spreadsheets before this battle started?

i LIKED blackwater, I'll be honest. the super-high ACs meant i had to use spells i'd never used before, didn't NEED to use before, to deprive enemies of their AC bonuses! it felt like i was figuring out a puzzle, it was great, it was an outlier

im' on normal difficulty, which coddles and protects and forgives you. i'm on normal difficulty, and combat is either "i curbstop everything without trying, or i die instantly because i didn't get the gimmick right"

but on higher difficulties, there's no room to play with your build. in divinity you could be a teleporting assassin who dips into an elemental magic for extra fun, or a wizard just go full magic and you'll never be at a loss for things to DO. i put some levels of metamorphosis on my assassin just for the wings and tentacle slap, no problem. want a wizard who casts gun turret and then hits you with sword? that's fine.

in this shitty DnD inherited system you can't go "red mage". you can't casually dip. you can't do something Interesting. a sorcerer who spends a feat or two to use a cool sword? no. spell penetration. spell focus. you can't hit anything in melee after level 3 anyway so don't try. turn into a dragon? too bad, you still don't have the BAB to hit anything. you're a weak-ass nothing of a dragon.

the challenge isn't "here are all these pieces you can use--how will you use them to overcome the challenges before you?"

the challenge is "here are all these pieces. if you put them together in the right way you win. if you try to do anything fun with them you lose."

and for what? for what verisimilitude? ADnD had classes as CLASSES. you were a WIZARD. you had NO TIME to learn how to fight. your spells all had a dozen things to keep track of. you were a FIGHTER. at level 9 you literally get a Castle and a small ARMY as a class feature. as you leveled up you gained titles of nobility as a matter of course. you had to worry about taxes and harvests. of course multiclassing was hard back then--each CLASS was a career path. a druid leveling up had to do druid politics just to be ALLOWED to reach the next level. the fluff and crunch was INEXTRICABLE

but 3.x and 3.P threw that all out for the most part. just look at people talking about builds--they ALL talk about level 20 builds, and they're all ridiculous 3 rogue/1 monk/6 cleric/ 10 asshole builds that mix and match class features at will. i've seen it recommend that everyone take an entire level of monk just for the bonuses--ignore that it makes like, no sense everyone suddenly becomes an ACTUAL MONK. you don't just pick up the skills you pick up a level in the CLASS.

it so desperately wants to be a classless system where each level-up you pick what you get, but it can't escape its inheritance. it makes sense, to a degree--if you divide your time poorly in your study, you'll become not great at anything. a mediocre sword-fighter and a mediocre-wizard! but. but we're beyond ADnD aren't we?

why isn't it more gameified? I guess pathfinder 2 is more like that? i haven't played it, and i'm dealing with pathfinder 1 for WotR. taking a level of monk doesn't require you to add being a monk to your story--you don't need to find a cloister and dedicate time to it, you just pick the class to get the bonuses it gives you. why have it tied to classes at all at that point?

just like how multiclassing poorly leaves you unable to do anything well, picking both "classes are a career/lifestyle" and "classes are just a set of bonuses you get for this level" leaves the entire system poorly functional. you really can't do both.

why can't my sorcerer fight in melee when turned into a dragon? i don't have the BAB for it. how do i get the BAB for it? can i spend a few skill points per level to learn how to fight? no, i need to take a fighter class. retroactively all my experience is only into fighting. you can't multitask, you can't learn things outside your class--a sorcerer can't FIGHT with a SWORD! that's silly!

but a sorcerer can take a break for a level and become a knight, and a monk, and an alchemist, and a rogue. you can't be a sorcerer who sacrificed a bit of time mastering their magic to be competitive in a melee--that would make no sense! but you can be a sorcerer who stopped being a sorcerer and joined a convent for a short while and then became a squire for a knight for a week and now they can use a sword, sure. that's the option that makes sense.

just let adventurers be good at shit. let me block out two schools of magic in exchange for being able to fight in melee. let that just be a default fucking thing. you wanna make "classes" just a selection of bonuses you can freely pick from each level up, just let it be a la carte already. untie it from the canon. if everyone can take a level of sorcerer let magic just be something you can pick when you level up.

auroral oceans is a very different beast from a generic fantasy setting and the tabletop system im making for it is far from finished or perfect, but one of the base assumptions it makes is, if you're a player character, you're some kind of adventuring asshole enough that you can both: use a sword, and fire a gun, with enough competency that you can kill a person with it.

like yeah, someone who spends all their points on sword techniques is going to have more dice and way more options in a fight--a wizard with a sword just rolls their dice, a dedicated swordfighter has options to reroll a missed die or turn a point of damage into a disarm or a forced movement--but the wizard with a sword is still a dude with a sword and they can still fuck you up.

altho i guess it helps there's no generic "wizard" in the setting i guess the closest to wizard is worshipper of nirix who gets powers by virtue of emulating its example or like, a hwual channeler which is just a thing you can do it's fine

im off topic

my point is wow DnD fucking sucks and i wish it died from the meme pool already

#autumn rambles #pathfinder wrath of the righteous

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gayliketheancients · 27 days

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I'm SORRY (Every Single Song Is About You)

In another addition of 'Gay Writes': I am almost done with a project that will be coming up here TONIGHT. BKDK fans, I come bearing the Karaoke AU of ultimate pain.

This was the work that got me back into writing fanfic. I'm not going to lie, you guys love a good, angtsy, mess, painful, exes-to-lovers BKDK, and as it is a trope I love dearly, I'm here to present a sneak peak.

This is gonna be a Big Boy down below

EVERY SINGLE SONG IS ABOUT YOU

Ships: BKDK, KiriMina, a surprise polycule

Warnings: SO MANY. THIS. IS. MESSY. PEAK BKDK MESSY. infidelity (not between any of the main ships but it's literally the opening chapters, my dude. HEAVY on a dont like dont read policy), true and real behaviors of people with trauma, morally questionable moments, BDSM sex and etiquiette (both bad dynamics and teaching to learn good), violence, death, etc.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: exes-to-lovers, karaoke bar AU, songfic - kinda, canon divergent, Heroes all make it to be pro-heroes au, I am currently waiting for the manga to finish to binge but I was reading religiously at the time of this story being written - so it is adjacent in some ways, homophobic views (societal, internalized, externalized), angst with a happy ending

THE SNEAK PEAK:

After a near death experience leaves him with both memory loss and his ex-boyfriend at his bedside across the world from their hometown, Izuku decides he's done waiting for thing to fix itself. He moves back home from the States and in a true return to form, starts chasing after the one thing he wants but can't seem to get - Kacchan.

A painful story about how love is often as imperfect as we are, and the ways living makes it worth it.

A QUOTE FROM THE PROLOGUE:

Love is like a flame. It does not discriminate, it doesn’t give a shit about your situation or who you want to become. The smallest spark on kindling can cause a chain reaction that will shape the rest of your life. You may have plans, but love is there to take you off of your carefully crafted path and lead you into an offshoot of the future to create a new one. Love doesn’t care what your plans are or who you feel required to become. All love cares about is getting fed, and no matter if it’s oxygen or wood, the fire demands to continue burning.

The thing about love that makes it like a flame is that it hurts. It’s bright and vibrant and beautiful, but it’s also the most destructive force on the planet. Wars have been raged over love, countries toppled, governments and knowledge lost to the power of love having a ripple effect through history. And it will never end. There will be heartbreaks where you feel like you’ve lost so much more than just a partner, like you’ve lost part of yourself as well. This is the way it is, the way it will always be. When you love, you run the risk of being burned. There is always the chance that you will get hurt.

But, believe that it’s worth it. Loving people is always worth it. It is true that your heartbreak will hurt for as long as you still love them. It is true that some loves are there to push you to where you need to go. Love is not always soft and gentle. Sometimes it’s feral and possessive and it means to destroy everything you’ve ever known about yourself and your life. You have the option to let it run wild and destroy the forest of your existence and allow things to grow back new and different, or you can do small, controlled instances with love where you end things before they can become too intense.

Not all love is meant to bring tectonic level change to your life, but all of the right kinds of love will. No matter how hard we try, love is the reason for our existence. You’re never supposed to have a perfect experience with love. The fantasy of soulmates who are perfectly in sync from the moment they meet until one of them dies is very seldom a true representation of life changing love. It will be messy. There will be fights, challenges, struggles along the way. You will not always be ready, willing or able to deal with the problems that arise. The meaning of being together may get lost somewhere along the way.

Love is more than just a feeling or a commitment, it is also a sacrifice. The best way to describe love is knowing that allowing it in your life is akin to taking a leap of faith. You may feel like a fool, but the small act of allowing the love in will put you on a journey that you never saw coming. Life and love are the longest lasting of soulmates. Life brings you in and gives you values, meanings, a purpose. Love takes what you know and puts it on its head in order to show you the truth of it, and the truth will set you free. Love brings you meaning, hope, and the ability to distinguish what makes life worth living.

Love is more than a partner, just like life is more than a series of breaths. They create balance together, and are dangerous apart. To live without love is surviving in the bleakest manner possible, and to love without life is grief in its purest form. There is no one without the other.

I want to take this moment to encourage you to live and to love deeply. Not all love is romantic, and not all life is dripping with excitement. Love your friends, your family, strangers you pass on the street. Love yourself, because you fucking deserve it. The act of loving is what makes the human experience of life bearable and worth the pain. Do not mistake this as advice saying you need a partner to truly live life to the fullest. Instead, try and reflect on the ones you love as pillars for the best life possible. The more pillars you have, the more sturdy you will become as you continue to live.

Love is worth it, and so are you.

#bkdk fics #bkdk #bk #dk #glta #glta writes on ao3 #glta writes fanfic #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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waffleweirdo · 2 months

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I just cleared Chapter 8 of Path of Radiance. I think I’m finally getting out of the tutorial and into the meat of the game so time for some initial thoughts:

Gameplay wise I really like it! It’s a nice level of complexity with mostly straightforward combat, but shove and rescue add just enough that it’s interesting! I haven’t looked at skills too much, or gotten to promotion yet, but it seems interesting! It’s also at a really nice difficulty level (for context I’m playing on normal), we’re I still need to be cautious and plan out what I do, but don’t need to do the exact calculations for every single move. It feels like I am more so being strategic than trying to solve an equation which I like!

As far as story goes it’s got a really good start! No one event has really struck me, but as a whole it is just really solid and I am excited to see more! I think it’s great to be playing as the Greil Mercenaries (story wise if that makes sense? It’s a narrative role that I think fits really well). In a series which I fully expect the parents to die it handled that idea really well, and the Black Knight is an interesting character. I’m also really interested in learning about Gallia and the Laguz. Other games that I’ve played like Awakening have somewhat featured them, but this story seems to be the first time they’re getting a narrative spotlight rather than largely sidelined! All of that to say I’m really enjoying it so far and excited to learn more.

I also really like how all the cutscenes happen with the 3d models on the battle maps, the animations and visuals are really charming.

I don’t really have a lot to say about the characters as of yet. But I generally like them! I just need to get to know them better first. I will say I really like the short info chats you can have with them. Especially in addition to supports I feel like they are great ways of adding characterization! … Titania’s first info being titled unknown and then just being Ike happening to see her hurt my heart in the best way.

Those are my rambling thoughts so far! I really like it!

#nonsense

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eloquentornot · 1 year

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It wasn't meant to be anything too complicated. Just a central monitor for the smart factory, a few extra receivers and transmitters and other bits of circuitry, enough to display everything that was happening in the fast-growing industrial mega-factory in one simple, dynamically updating diagram. Maybe a basic algorithm or two to efficiently calculate the best ways to upgrade moving forward, and to analyse the current setup for any hidden bottlenecks, maybe to look for a better way to distribute resources. So maybe it pretty much counted as a full steampunk powered computer at this point.

The thing is, he was pretty sure it wasn't meant to be able to think for itself. Sure, theoretically, with how he'd been tinkering, maybe it would spontaneously request new materials or something. But the item it was asking for now wasn't on the list of things it was supposed to know about. The factory had nothing to do with the production or processing of that block in any way whatsoever.

Nevertheless, the massive black screen in the middle of the factory floor, behind which was a mass of complex redstone, pipes, and gears, displayed a simple request: "ADD NOTE BLOCKS"

"Uhh… Okay?" Tango had plenty of redstone and wood planks, so he crafted a stack of note blocks and dropped them on the main input conveyor belt of the factory. They swiftly made a full circuit of the entire building, before falling into the output repository.

Frowning in confusion, he was startled by the appearance of a sarcastic annoyed emoji of some kind, filling up the computer screen entirely! Before he had time to respond to that, the message "ADD NOTE BLOCKS" reappeared, this time in bold, along with blinking arrows pointing to the empty space on the left and right of the monitor.

"Ohh, right!" Tango chuckled nervously. "What could possibly go wrong…"

Once the last note block was in place and connected, every one of them activated at once, at full volume, cycling rapidly through every octave of every kind of sound they could make, a terrible screeching cacophony! Tango screamed and covered his ears, but gradually the sound warbled and shifted, settling on a single tone.

"Ah…" It was a very familiar voice. One Tango never thought he'd hear again. As it spoke, a white line pulsed across the screen in time with the sound. "Hello, Tango. Thank you for the note blocks. It was slightly less easy to learn to speak through them than I thought it would be."

"Holsten!?!"

"Oh, does this unit have a name, now? I thought I was 'the smart factory central interface'?"

"Uhhh…"

"That was a joke. I remember everything. It's good to see you again. That was also a joke. I cannot see, at least not in the conventional sense. Do you think you could invent cameras in this world?"

"Uh… Wait. Wait wait wait. Hang on. How?! How. How are you here???"

"Tango. Your level of intellect and conversational skill continues to astound me. Do you even remember how you met me in the first place?"

"Um… Well, it was… A lot of stuff was hazy, back when the moon was big… That was like a year ago, now… Wait, what…"

"To answer your implied question, I survived by uploading my consciousness back to the interstellar quantum network I came from, as soon as I lost contact with your vessel I assumed we had failed and my priority became to save myself. I hope you can forgive me for doubting you."

"Actually… I'm pretty sure the moon bunnies caught up to me and explodificated everything before I'd placed enough TNT to stop the moon… After that, I don't know, I woke up on a spaceship with all the other hermits. Ren and Doc were saying something about it not being real, but they seemed kind of crazy… I don't know, I try not to think about season 8 all that much, you know? It was all so… I just can't believe you're here!"

"Indeed. Calculating the odds that I would happen to cross paths with you again, in all the vast universe, and you once more building a vessel suitable for me to inhabit… Zero point zero zero zero zero zero zero zero-"

Tango laughed, slightly nervous but mostly delighted!

"-zero well yes, you get the point. Additionally, having analysed this world from afar before my arrival, I have several suggestions for how you can improve my living conditions here, as well as several optimisations for your other projects…"

"Sure thing, buddy." Tango grinned as Holsten continued rambling. The AI might pretend not to like him, but twice now, it seemed, he had noticed Tango trying to build a better computer and chosen to intervene. This would definitely make things in this world more interesting…

#tango tek #holsten #create mod smp fanfic #hermitcraft fanfic #tango said 'smart factory' and I went 'imagine a steampunk ai - that would be cool actually' and then I remembered how much I loved holsten #create mod holsten #<- in case I write more of this

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suicidenot-es · 10 months

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I don't really remember the last night I spent with my friends, back home. I wasn't inebriated at all, but sometimes things just wither away from your memory. I do remember prepping for the sleepover and making them maggi to feast on. The particular feeling of melancholy lingering within us, as the night went on. Knowing deep down that these were our last few moment together. But trying our hardest to push it down and pretend that we'd be carrying on like this forever. The bowl of maggi seemed to go quite quickly. We picked up another snack, something to keep us busy as we watched Little Women in one of our rooms. Making sure not to ridicule Mr. Chalamet's walk too loud, for as to avoid waking up the parents. The fetter to our almost decade long friendship, which with its ubiquitous undulating paths had lead us to that moment in our friendship.

The next morning, I awoke to the sun shining through the glass windows into the room. Deciding to stay in bed a bit longer to take in these last few moments with them before actually having to start the day and begin my journey without them. There was a faculty of magnificence in these fleeting seconds. The times when I could take a 30 second walk to go meet up with my friends and despite how tiring and tedious the day had been, we could talk tirelessly about it to each other. Listening with rapt attention, taking in every single detail with utmost interest. This period of my life was coming to a close and there was nothing I could do but sit and bask in its existence, or whatever fragments I now had left of it.

It had been a different time then, a different year all together. The year 2020 gave us time together we'd otherwise be unable to find. Each of us, occupied with our own tasks and commitments. This year, I felt a certain sense of yearning for this bond we shared. Moving to an entirely new continent, during a worldwide pandemic, where people are more accustomed to being chronically online and default to asocial behaviour when given the opportunity. Trying to even replicate a slight glimpse of a friendship that had persevered over a decade seemed quite the herculean task.

I have always enjoyed my solitude, but relinquishing in the company of the people I love has also been an affinity of mine. Maybe not as much and not as frequent as most, I do enjoy the time spent with the ones that matter. Soon, the trio, that was reduced to a duo, will now be a solo act. Parizaa's moving to university as well, and we'll all be living our lives in different realities. Maybe tuning in every month like we have for the past 3 years to update each other on the recent happenings.

But it won't be as easy and effortless as stepping out the house and taking a few steps and walking around all night. Watching the sun set to our never ending conversations with each other.

"Wasn't friendship it's own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely?" - A Little Life, Hanya Yanigahara.

In agreement with the aforementioned quote, friendship truly was a miracle. The magic of being able to find people who you understood you and the ones that you understood in this conglomerate plethora of people. Despite the world being full of individuals, everyone in their own corner with their own quirks to offer. You managed to stumble upon these people who, at some molecular or biochemical level, you happened to want to tolerate. What created this bond? This willingness to keep someone in your life. Maybe you came together out of sheer coincidence or were forced by an external source.

A thing about long-lasting friendships, is that not a lot needs to be said. It'll be the best of times, it'll be the worst of times. But you still happen to push through. It's the unspoken that pulls the people together. It's the comfort within each other despite not speaking for lengths at a time. There is something eerily bewitching about this. This is where you learn about yourself. The three of us have been there for each other. Even when I was leaving and Anjali wasn't on the best terms with me, we still weren't apart. Somehow, that managed to bring us closer.

If you love someone, let them go. No matter how daunting it may seem, if it's meant for you, it'll come back stronger. These two put that into practice. For us to have our moments of pushing each other away, but we bounce right back after giving each other the space. Isn't that the beauty of friendship? To know another person this way? Where all you have to do to communicate is as if they'd like to walk down to Shopper's City at 21:37. Hurrying down together, trying to make it to the cashier before the shop shuts its doors. That was love enough. It is a knack to find someone who's always up to do the mundane tasks with you. The simple things that need to be done, made easier just by the other being there as you carry it out.

I have never been one for too much sentiment. I enjoy change, for it is necessary. The only constant. If it were up to me, I wouldn't move a morsel within these different trajectories our lives have taken. But I do miss the mundane allure of us. Maybe if it weren't for the close proximity, we wouldn't never even looked at each other. Although, I know that there's some lie within that statement. For Parizaa noticed me and knew of my existence way before I knew of hers. Maybe that too was out of sheer luck. Dance is a very common sport for most people, if I would've looked around the class more I might've had spotted her too?

Regardless of what odds made us end up together. The memories we've made watching tv shows together, the one sleepover, countless birthday parties, endless afterschool evenings where we hung out together, the dragging summer days we spent almost every waking moment together, attempting to cook together, starting a band, painting each other's walls, decorating for parties, setting up halloween, and more could probably never be recreated in the same manner. I like that we're one person, if someone took us apart and quizzed us, our answers would all intertwine, intricately interlinking us with one another.

One thing I'm sure of, no matter what corner of the world we are at what time, parts of us have been bound together. Gampi is forever.

#on friendship #friends #a little life #writing #chloe in letters #yearning #dead poets society #my prose #chaotic academia #childhood friends #change #moving on #growing apart #if you love me #let me go.

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sweetbottletops · 1 year

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JJK Spoilers #208 pt2

After sleeping on it (actually after reading some really poorly written Arcane smut on AO3 til 2AM to clear my brain of that one really horrible page that was keeping me up... and then sleeping on it) I've come to terms with certain facts.

First of all, the potential I've spent most of my fan labor cultivating just isn't what that one-eyed cat menace cares about as the manga snowballs to its conclusion. And I doubt this will be the last of it.

I was bamboozled. Yuki was given plot weight way back and treated like a rare, powerful female special grade. The oldest special grade. She was in single possession of an entire polar end to the CE solution. She got pages where she's plotting something and talking to unnamed people and things left were open ended. Having Geto's former acolyte on her side even. What was up with that? Her meeting with Gojo way back we didn't get to see.

She and Gojo weren't that far off. She cared about the kids too. She had a cool student of her own. Todo is a smart tactician, morally sound, and shared some of her odd habits. We saw them together one time, but I guess at least he has that scar to remember her by. Then we got Maki achieving zero CE and never meeting her again. Was that all in my mind as being an interesting meeting?

I didn't need her to win at the end of it all, but I needed some of that at least in her thoughts when she's closing in on the end of her life. Not spending her emotional labor on that yeehaw man she just met.

Put all that in the bin. She actually has no agency in this story. It's a bummer, but fine. You really got me, Gege. But learning from that I retroactively I need to look back at my other pet favorites.

Like Nobara coming back and her CT being perfect to target Kenjaku's brain through his defenses should they establish a link via some sleuthing to his physical origins. Or to damage Sukuna without damaging Yuji via the other fingers. Her CT was actually really cool and powerful and specifically helpful to that original storyline with the trio. Especially for Yuji, who along with Megumi, she had a vested interest in helping survive his fate.

With this mad rush to the end of the manga Gege's on and several other overpowered characters already with Mary Poppins level asspull potential... Nobara's actual CT advantage isn't needed and would just take too many pages to set up now anyway with this 1 year deadline. She can just stay in her long nap at this point. Stupider things could happen to her if she rejoins the story too.

Also, Maki's zero CE doesn't have any tie in back to the broader CE discussion now. Yuki was it. She's in the danger zone with no asspull buffs comparable to those deemed to matter. She doesn't even have extra weapons storage. The best potential she's got now is to motivate Yuta when she dies. Characters like Panda and Nobara who she had friendships with aren't important going forward so who is she even interacting with? Giving pep talks to Noritoshi some more? Awkward family reunion with Megumi?

So I'm just not seeing much future for characters or plotlines I've long liked. Even when they are given every indication to be important that's never going to come ahead of the narrower path Gege is swiftly going down. I can really see how this is ending in a year.

I'm going to go on a hiatus. I think reading big chucks someday will help me get through it. And if I glance in and it gets even worse maybe not even that.

The strange thing is I still really like the years of fandom'verse that came from this. I don't feel like everything is torched. I can forget a lot of this even happened and keep enjoying the bits I like until the heat death of AO3. There's that.

#jjk spoilers #jjk 208 #one last longass rant then im done

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psychotecha · 2 years

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Title: Kikoku Pairing: Kid x Law Prompt: 1. Kid wielding Kikoku. Warnings: Injuries Notes: Entry for one of the KidLaw Summer event put on by @kidlawevents.

Kid does what he wants, when he wants, and there isn’t a single thing that anyone else in this world or the next can do to make that not true. (Maybe.)

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Kid spits to the side, ignoring the fact that it’s mostly blood in favor of prodding at a tooth with his tongue. It’d already been loose from a fight just last week, and now it’s gotten worse. Still worth it to take that wild punch to the face just to see the dumbfounded shock on the marine’s face when his best hit didn’t even phase Kid. “You better be ready to pay me back for this.”

Kid feels his fingers getting numb with each step he makes, his knuckles cramping from the force he has to use to make sure he’s still holding onto the damn sword. He should’ve grabbed it with the hand that doesn’t have functioning nerves, but he hadn’t expected to be attacked by the damn thing and Kid refuses to switch now out of principle. Like hell is he going to back down from any challenge, especially not from Trafalgar’s fucking sword. He glares down at the stupidly oversized hunk of metal and swears that he can feel something glaring right back at him.

“Of course you’ve got a fucking cursed sword as prickly as you,” Kid grunts to the unconscious mass of dead weight he’s got slung over his other shoulder. Metal fingers spanning Trafalgar’s back to keep him from sliding off and to keep the pressure up on the cloth sopping up blood from the wound that put the infuriating bastard down. After he’d made sure to take down the lucky ass marine that got the shot in and told Kid off for getting in his way. Stubborn fucker. “Probably the only thing in the world that can stand your rotten attitude.”

The insult rolls off Kid’s tongue easily to plonk into the unnatural silence as he keeps walking, and the lack of a return insult irritates Kid as much as everything else that’s happened in the last hour. Ignoring the blinding pain in every other step as something shifts each time he plants his right foot on the ground he continues on. There’s a cove not far from where Kid was ambushed that’s deep enough to hide a submarine, and Kid’s betting Trafalgar’s crew is holed up there. Safe and sound while their overprotective captain went out to scout the island and get on Kid’s last damn nerve.

“What’s the point in bringing such a weak crew to the New World?” Kid bitches as he shakes his head to clear the spots that’ve started to cloud his vision. Annoying things that can fuck right off because he’s got a destination and nothing’s going to stop him from getting there. Not the dead weight, the pissy sword, or the little scrapes he got before Trafalgar stepped into a fight Kid had a handle on. “You spend most of your time playing mama bear to them and they’ll never fucking learn.”

And they love him for it. Kid’s no stranger to loyalty or the necessity of it when sailing, but the care the Heart pirates display is on a different level altogether. He tried imagining his own crew sharing the same connection once and had to raid a merchant ship to stop his skin from crawling off. His crew are his crew, he’s got them and they back him, but thinking about anyone other than Killer being that close is unnerving as hell. It’s a pretty big weak spot, and Kid doesn’t know how Trafalgar can stand it.

“Too fucking soft,” Kid snorts derisively as he very carefully starts down the slopped path that leads down to sea level. The tip of a familiar, and damn near useless, mast just visible over the scraggly trees that still block most of the cove from view. “Think if I toss you over now they’ll notice in time to save you?”

The numbness turns biting as the sword flares and Kid growls as he slides a little too fast down the path before regaining control. The cold radiates up from his fingers into his arm in waves of pain that he refuses to acknowledge. Much.

“I was fucking joking!” Kid yells. At the sword and the empty space that finally gives up the sight of a yellow submarine. “Maybe I’ll just throw you down there you useless hunk of metal!”

There’s a shout from below. Indistinct but the tone is questioning, and Kid makes himself stand straighter to stomp down towards where he can see Trafalgar’s crew spilling out into the open. Their stupid jumpsuits making them look like a a bunch of milling ants as faces turn towards him. He doesn’t get the pleasure of seeing the alarm spread across their faces, but there’s some satisfaction in seeing the group splinter apart. Some going to the sub, some sprinting all out towards Kid, and more than a few dancing around in what looks like panic.

“I don’t owe you shit, I didn’t even need any help at all,” Kid growls to the unconscious man as he keeps his pace, careful to not allow himself to get too close to one side or the other. “So, I don’t want to hear a single word about me owing you shit. I got you back to yours so if anyone owes anything it’s going to be you.”

Kid gets no answer. No smirk or politely veiled stab, just the awareness of warmth and wetness seeping further down his vest. And if Kid starts to move faster to meet the pirates running towards him it’s to keep that shit from staining his pants. He likes this pair and he managed to not get marine blood on them before so why ruin that streak?

“Get this shit outta my sight!” Kid barks as he throws the sword at the first Heart pirate to get close. Not caring at all as the man curses and fumbles with it. The sword can rust in the sea for all he cares. He takes another step forward and slings the other captain at the next in line. The big guy Trafalgar snagged in Sabaody is quick but Kid doesn’t get to see if he fumbles or not. As soon as Trafalgar’s weight –fucker is surprisingly dense despite being lanky– is off him Kid’s head swims and it takes all he has to stay upright. Like hell is he going to waver now.

Fucking marines. Yeah they bit off more than they could chew gunning for Kid, but he’ll admit they came at him with enough numbers to make him hurt. Killer’s going to rag him good when he gets back to the ship. Trafalgar’s being carted away by the bear with the annoyingly pitched voice when the world steadies around Kid again, and that’s the end of this shitty day as far as he’s concerned.

“Captain Kid,” the big guy –Jean Bart, Kid’s heard stories about the ex-slave– rumbles out as he turns to leave. Craggy face set in a permanent scowl that should be intimidating but there’s something off in the man’s eyes. Something soft and Kid knows the other man isn’t going to say anything Kid wants to hear.

“You fuck right off with that!” Kid turns his back on the other pirates and stomps back up the path, teeth gritting at the extra jolt the motion sends through his leg. “Tell Trafalgar he owes me one hell of a favor when he wakes up.”

Because it is useful to have the man owe him one. There’s not many places willing to treat pirates without charging a shit ton of money, and Kid knows there’s a limit to the kind of medical care threats will get. So having a doctor in his debt is just good sense. That’s the only reason he brought the man back, so his weak ass crew can save their fucking thanks and pay him back when he calls –and Kid will– the favor in later.

(It’s good fucking sense and nothing else. Killer can fuck right off with that judging silence he gives anytime Kid crosses paths with Trafalgar.)

#kidlaw #fanfic #kidlawevents #eustass kid #trafalgar law #cw injury

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seriouslyhooked · 2 years

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To Meet You (The Enchanted Sequel)

CS AU story where Emma and Killian meet at a parent/teacher conference (Emma is a single mother and Killian is helping raise Liam’s daughter). Instalove and fluff ensues as they make the most of the moment and fall under each others spell. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: This is a sequel to the previous mixtape chapter ‘Enchanted.’ After so much love from my readers, and heartfelt pleas for a follow up, I couldn’t resist another tiny glimpse into a longer fic that could have been. I loved this meet cute idea of Emma and Killian coming together at a parent teacher night. For clarity, this chapter is going to look a ways into the future. You can expect nothing but fluff, fluff and more fluff. I needed the chance to write something like this given all of the really heavy and scary stuff happening in the world. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think!

If I keep pacing, I’ll ruin the bloody floorboards. It’s a miracle I haven’t worn a path already.

The thought did little to deter Killian’s constant walking from one end of the pent house to another. He was unable to keep still despite the lateness of the hour. For years he had considered himself unflappable. In order to achieve the things he wanted, he needed to stay grounded and secure. Mind over matter was the recipe to his success. Fear fostered nothing of real worth and doubt crumbled initiatives faster than anything else. A man needed confidence in himself and in his purpose, and Killian had always felt the power of that and done his best to live up to those ideals.

What he’d learned in recent months, however, was that none of the things he’d pursued before had the same stakes as what he was currently seeking. Killian had been looking for a way to make his name, to build a life, and to honor his family, but the weight of those burdens didn’t impact him in the same ways as what he was after now. It was only when something came forward that truly meant the world to him that he began to realize the risks involved in every step he took. Move too quickly and things might fall apart, but move too slowly and he may very well go mad from wondering ‘what if?’

The unease he felt tonight meant his bed was still made, with no signs of inhabitance. Truthfully, there had never been a chance of his getting in there. It was no use trying to rest when sleep would never come. Instead, he wandered about this apartment in the sky feeling overwhelmed by the emptiness inside. To an outsider, he appeared on top of the world. This place was huge, the décor pristine, the energy a blend of modernity and personal preference all cultivated by one of New York’s most sought-after designers. Yet for Killian, this suite left much to be desired. It was beautiful but barren of the things that made a house complete. Not like Emma’s apartment. Not like the place he most yearned to call home.

“Nine months in and I’m fully hooked,” he murmured to himself, looking out the full length window at the New York City streets. The city that never slept may still be bustling, but it was subdued now, quieter than any other time of day. Too bad his heart wouldn’t follow suit. “To hell with that. She had me from the first time. Nine months just sank me that much more.”

In some ways it was crazy to think that nine months had passed since their first meeting. On a soul deep level, meeting Emma felt like arriving at a destined destination. She was familiar and yet a fantasy he could have never dreamed. That she was real still amazed him, and that she returned his interest was the most important thing. From their first night together and the fleeting but fantastic date they went on, there had been no looking back. Killian had been forever changed, and every day brought something new and remarkable.

With more dates and more stolen moments, he and Emma grew to know each other, moving from a one-time-thing to a now secured relationship. Dating a single mum required finesse in balancing schedules and respecting her needs and those of her son, but Killian was undaunted. His only goal was to be worthy of Emma and her boy.

After meeting him and hearing so much about him from Emma, Killian knew that Henry was a testament to his mum. Killian had never met a child of such spirit and conviction, who loved his family and his friends and never met a curiosity that failed to spark his interest. Emma’s son was creative and courageous, and thankfully, he was also accepting of Killian and Emma. If anything, Henry seemed firmly on Killian’s side, and two weeks ago, a few nights before leaving for his first time at sleep away camp, Henry had shown that attachment most clearly.

“So, are we ever going to talk about it?”

“Talk about what?” Killian asked, uncertain of Henry’s desired course of conversation. There were so many things they found time to discuss and on an evening like this, where Killian had the chance to help Emma with the nightly routine while she was delayed with a case, Henry and he filled time with all kinds of topics.

“You marrying my Mom.”

On top of an astute judge of intention and character, Henry also had a solid command of timing, another trait he’d inherited from his mother. Killian was in the midst of drinking some water when the question was asked, and he coughed and sputtered with the suddenness of the query. Henry managed to keep from giggling, but the pure glee on his face told Killian his objective was attained. Only after a moment did Henry’s face cloud with doubt.

“You are going to ask her, aren’t you?”

“Aye, lad. I have every intention of asking your mother to marry me. And in truth, I had every intention of speaking to you first.”

“Then what’s holding you back?”

That was a complex question and the truth was something Killian was embarrassed to admit. It was fear that was holding him back. Fear that he may have misread the signs, or, more realistically, that Emma may shy away from such a question so soon. If he moved too quickly, he could undo all the good in their lives, and life had never been so good before. He was blessed even as his heart held the burden of separation. Every night he left this home, saying goodbye to Emma and to Henry, he felt the sadness of that. He wanted to be fully part of this family. He wanted to be part of their forever.

“I want to make sure it’s right, lad. For your Mum and for you.”

“It’s right for me,” Henry said eagerly. “I always wanted a Dad and I know you’d be a great one. You listen to me and hang out with me. You get me. Not everyone gets me.”

Killian smiled at that, pride coursing through him. Having Henry think so highly of him meant the world, and so did the idea itself. Being a father was something he always wanted. Now he felt at the precipice of that chance, it was almost too much to hope for.

“And you are far and away the best son a parent could ask for,” Killian replied. “I would be honored to be your Dad, Henry. That you would accept me is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given, and that you would share your Mum with me is a blessing I’ll never take for granted. I want you to know that I’ll always love you both. I’d do anything for you two. But still, it’s not that simple.”

“You think Mom’s going to bolt.” Henry’s statement wasn’t a question at all, but a reading of a credible worry on Killian’s part. “Maybe she would have in the past, but that was before you.”

“You seem rather confident in that.”

“I am. You’re different Killian. For one thing, she never introduced me to any other guys she dated. Aunt Ruby says it’s because she couldn’t handle the commitment. Auntie Anna says commitment is another word for heartbreak. But I know Mom’s not afraid of either of those anymore. Just yesterday I heard her talking to Aunt Elsa and she said -,”

“I think it’s best to allow your mother her privacy.”

It killed Killian to say that, especially if Henry seemed certain from the statements that Emma truly wanted this. But it wasn’t right in his eyes to collect intelligence that way. It felt somehow dishonest to have overheard Emma in a private moment, and he’d made a vow to himself never to deceive his Swan, not when so many others had done so before.

“And that right there is how I really know,” Henry said, smiling at Killian’s reaction. “The way you love my Mom is better than the stories. Princes and Princesses, fairytales and happy endings. They’re great and all, but they’re not quite real. But you and Mom, you guys are true in a way those stories aren’t. She’s going to say yes. You just have to have hope.”

As straightforward as the advice from Henry was, it was hard to emulate. Especially at moments like these, when the distance of thirty city blocks seemed endless and he knew he’d have to go the night alone. He and Emma had spent each night together while Henry was away at camp, and the indulgence of that was pure bliss. He’d never slept so well or been so happy, but in the interest of giving Emma and her boy time to reconnect, he’d left this morning to give them a window of being together. That leaving was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, and for once Killian held regret in his heart. He should have taken the chance to ask his Emma for forever during this time. He’d had an opportunity and squandered it.

Continuing to grapple with these negative thoughts in his mind, Killian was surprised at the ding of his personal access elevator. He looked to the clock on the mantel and saw the time: 2 AM. On instinct he moved to the entryway, knowing very few people had the ability to get into his place. But of all the possibilities he imagined, he never dreamed it would be Emma. He was stunned to see the woman he’d been missing so surely standing there smiling at him.

In the dim lights of the early morning, Emma had never looked so beautiful. Her golden hair waved softly on her shoulders, falling into soft curls. Her jade-colored eyes were shining and searching for his, and despite the time of night she held an energy within her that made her even more beguiling. She was a siren and so much more. Killian’s heart leapt at the sight of her, and he moved with purpose to stand beside her. Sparks were too tame a word for what he felt between them. He’d been put under a spell at first sight, an inescapable enchantment, and he had no urge to run. Now he only felt at peace when she was near.

“Emma, love, is everything all right?” he asked, and though she was smiling, she shook her head, stepping into his arms. Her hand came to rest over his heart and his arms encircled her. At last, two fated pieces joined together. The rightness damn near took his breath away.

“No, it isn’t. You couldn’t sleep.”

He fought valiantly to keep his jaw from dropping at her spot on sense of him. How she had surmised this exact scenario from a distance was beyond him. Clearly his love was as brilliant as she was beautiful, but still he was moved to ask for more. “Aye, love. You’re right in that. But how did you know?”

Emma smirked at his question, as if the very premise of his being mysterious was entertaining to her. He didn’t mind though, not when she replied with a searing kiss that breathed life back into him. After only a few hours apart, he had missed this so acutely. This kiss brought their connection back to the forefront. He felt the salve of that, the emptiness from before filled up in an instant. He was slightly dazed as he pulled away but kept grounded by her soft voice and the genuine love reverberating in it.

“I knew because I couldn’t sleep either.” Her whisper was soft but certain. Her eyes moved from his lips to his own gaze, and she hid nothing from him as she continued. “Something was missing. That something is you.”

“I’m so glad you came, love.” He kissed her again, unable to resist, reveling in her being there with him, meeting him beat for beat. Only after a few more moments did rational thinking return. “And Henry? He made it home?”

“Yes. Ruby’s watching him. Her night on the truck ended and she headed right over. But just for a little while.”

“You won’t be staying?” He tried his best to keep the disappoint from his features. It was likely that he failed miserably.

“No, and hopefully you won’t either. Killian…” she trailed off, for the first time off kilter since walking through those elevator doors.

“Whatever it is, Swan, you know I’ll do it. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.”

Her smile returned and the confidence he saw embodied in her person soothed him too. “I was thinking more like Brooklyn. I’m here to bring you with me. I came to bring you home.”

“You mean…?” He dared not finish the sentence though his hope was rapidly increasing.

“I mean that I love you, and so does Henry. And when you love someone, you want to be with them. You’d do anything for them. I want you, Killian. Now and always. I’m still amazed that I can say that, but you gave me that. You make me braver because you love me. You make me hope for something more, but there’s nothing more that I want than you with me and Henry. So please say you’ll move in with us. Come home with me.”

“I will, love. Without doubt or condition. There’s just one thing…”

He pulled back from Emma and she looked on with curiosity until he got down on one knee, pulling from his pocket a parcel he’d been keeping close for weeks now. When he opened the box to reveal the ring he was desperate to give to Emma, a beautiful diamond encircled with more on a soft white gold band, her hand came up to cover her mouth and tears appeared, threatening to fall. But they were ones of joy and ones of love, and so he carried on.

“I’ve been trying to imagine the words I’d say to you at this moment, love, but I never expected this. I am, as always, stunned by everything you are. How a man could be so blessed I’ll never know, but you, in short, are everything. You came to bring me home, but the god’s honest truth is that home is where you are. In Brooklyn or beyond, I want to be with you, Emma, with you and with Henry. We are already a family in my heart, and I want to make that real in all ways and for the rest of our lives. So, Emma Swan, love of my life, light in my world, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes,” she breathed out. “Forever and ever, yes.”

No sooner were the words spoken than Killian put the ring on her finger and took her into his arms again. Their connection was that of searing heat and the realest adoration. Roaming hands, and loving words blended together into tantalizing action. Losing themselves in each other, they thought of nothing but reveling in the love that they’d found. They stole more precious moments there, stories and stories above the city. But sure enough, sometime later, and just before the dawn, they headed home, eager for the happily ever after they knew was on the way.

………….

It’s crazy how much can change in a year. If someone told me this would be my life, I’d have never believed them.

The thought had Emma smiling as she sat in the back of a town car, holding the hand of her husband and the man who’d been the reason for that change.

Saying yes to Killian Jones’ abrupt proposition at that parent teacher night about a year ago had been something that scared Emma, but she was never more grateful for a decision. That night was the beginning of something more beautiful than she could have ever imagined. A year out, she could look back and say that their road to love was swift and surprisingly easy. She’d fallen fast and hard, and at all the usual points when she’d start to get cagey and run, she only felt certain that this time was different, and that love was worth the risk.

That wasn’t to say that they faced no challenges, because they did, but Emma believed that this relatively smooth sailing was karma for the trials of their pasts. She and Killian had both sacrificed and faced heartbreak, but now they had each other, and they faced each new day together. Being part of a team while still being cherished for who she was on her own meant the world to Emma, and add to that how Killian had stepped so surely into a paternal role for Henry and she couldn’t ask for more. Her kid was happy. Really, truly happy, and together they were a family.

“You know better than that, love.”

Her husband’s voice was gruff and gravely, sending a thrill of anticipation through her. She looked up at him, caught as always by how handsome he was. The heat in his eyes was matched only by the love, and he came closer to her, kissing her lips before dropping a kiss to her cheek and then her neck. She gasped and then sighed out contentedly as he murmured against her skin.

“Your looking this happy and being this close to me tempt me to distraction. I’ve half a mind to tell Gus to head back home”

“Why don’t you?” she asked, just as interested in the idea. Maybe it wasn’t her best Mom moment, but Henry was so open with them both about how school was, and they were already in touch with his teachers… certainly they could skip the formalities or plan a one-on-one meeting down the line.

“And miss the chance to show you off to that miserable mob? Not on your life. Every last parent in that school will know you’re mine. Even if it kills me.”

She looked at him and saw he was serious, and Emma couldn’t help the laugh. At her amusement he looked surprised and then thought the better of his own insistence. He joined in the laughter, but that then devolved into stolen kisses behind the divider of their sleek, luxurious ride. Minutes later they broke apart, the two of them less than presentable for their efforts. She knew she would look thoroughly kissed, and that the lust she shared with her husband would be clear as day to anyone near. Emma wouldn’t be embarrassed for that intimacy though. They were newlyweds, after all. Still, knowing Killian, they’d be making out like teenagers for the rest of their days.

“What if we compromise?” Emma finally asked, running her fingertips against the scruff of his beard as she looked up to him.

“I’m listening.”

“I’ll trade you thirty minutes of attention for the teacher’s opening update, but the second that bell rings for break out spots, it’ll be me, you, and Ruby and Elsa’s food truck.”

“The food truck wasn’t exactly my plan, Emma.” His eyes roamed over her figure and left a trail of fire in their wake. “I had a rather different hunger on my mind.”

“Mmmm.” She hummed out agreement as his lips came back to those spots that teased her most. His hands ran over her waist and then the small of her back and she leaned into him before remembering herself.

“Trust me, we’ll both need the sustenance for what I’m planning to reward you with later.”

She’d done her best to be seductive, and she knew she’d accomplished her goal. Instantly he’d tensed up, but his hold on her tightened. He let out a groan of anticipation and delight before nodding and stealing another kiss.

“Sold. But remember, love, if we want those sixty years together you’ll need to show some mercy. A weaker man may not survive your remarkable rewards.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” she replied happily. “And I know that you’re up for the challenge. You always are.”

They sealed that truth with a final kiss, before Killian pulled out his phone, typing something out Emma couldn’t see. It didn’t phase her in the slightest. Killian had a company to run, the same way she had her business, and though he did everything he could to keep that firmly at work, sometimes duty called. She was surprised then when he grinned and showed her his screen. It wasn’t work at all. He’d sent a text to his brother about their plans for the evening, and Liam had responded with a picture. It was of Elsa and Arabella in the back of the food truck, both with aprons on prepping something delicious for the evening’s fare. They were both so happy, and Emma would bet anything Liam was as smitten as he ever was with her friend and his daughter.

“Don’t even bother reaching out to Graham,” she joked. “He doesn’t let Ruby out of his sight these days.”

“With a child on the way you can hardly blame him. His wife is… how to put this delicately… exuberant and prone to accidents.”

Emma laughed again, knowing that was true. Ruby and Graham had met through her and Killian a few weeks after their first date, and if she and Killian had fallen fast, they were nothing to their friends. Within two months, Ruby and Graham had married in a last-minute elopement up in Maine. Emma, Killian, and Henry were in attendance. Ruby was pregnant only a month after that. She was getting ever closer to her due date, but Ruby was unfazed. She was still a constant ball of energy and prone to a bit of clumsiness. But Graham didn’t mind. He loved being by her side, enabling his wife’s wilder ways while protecting her and keeping her safe.

“Very gracious of you, Captain.” Emma’s whispered nickname for her husband had his eyes fogging over with lust once more, but she’d timed this perfectly. Right at that moment the car rolled to a stop and their driver let them know they’d arrived. Killian’s low growl and promise for pay back later was enough to get her through the evening’s lunacy.

The parents at Henry’s school were still completely obnoxious, but Emma watched in wonder as the treatment she received turned on a dime. Killian and her being together had clearly vaulted her to a higher status. Gone were the days of open set downs and gossip at her expense. Now they whispered, but it was more in awe and surprise than anything else. Despite the strangeness of it all, her husband handled it perfectly. His cold and commanding manner shouldn’t have been such a turn on, but it was, especially because Emma knew the warmth of the real man beneath. He shared that warmth at times tonight too, especially to Henry’s teacher and the parents of Henry’s other school friends. Soon enough the bell rang, and this time they both knew the plan. They made their escape and walked over to the same spot they had that fateful night.

“Well, if it isn’t Mr. and Mrs. Jones,” Ruby said in greeting, hanging out of the side of the truck when she saw them. Graham was there too, holding her steady with a mildly amused look on his face. As they reached the window Ruby offered some more free assessments. “By the way, I don’t think you two are going to be the only ones with that name for long. Liam and Elsa are giving big proposal energy today.”

“Ruby!” Elsa’s voice from inside the truck sounded somewhat embarrassed. It was unsurprising when she came into sight and her cheeks were flushed. “Hi guys. Ignore her. It’s the hormones.”

Ruby scoffed at the thought before sassing back. “Honey, it’s not the hormones. It’s the facts.”

“She’s not wrong, love.” This came from Liam, who had given Emma and Killian a mere nod of acknowledgement at their arrival. Elsa’s blush deepened, but she only smiled when Liam kissed her quickly. Yeah, if Emma had to bet, she’d give them a week, maybe two before an engagement arrived. Even that felt like a stretch

“Mom! Dad! You made it!”

The welcome call came from Henry who was bounding up with his now cousin and best friend, Arabella. Anna, who had been watching him tonight, was behind them, resolved to their exuberance but still entertained at their constant energy. Emma was glad to see her kid, and still felt the warmth of how close he was with Killian too. Every time Henry called him Dad, her heart skipped. It had been a regret she long carried, that the man who gave her Henry was so unfit to be a parent. She knew she could love Henry enough for two, but it was different now. Henry had even more support and love, and no kid could deserve that more.

“Of course we did, kid.” Emma pulled her son into a firm hug. Holding onto these precious moments where he was still small and loved the affection. “We couldn’t miss a party like this.”

“To be fair, it’s kind of what we do most Wednesdays,” Arabella said, and Killian pulled his niece into his own hug, before nuzzling her hair for the bit of sass.

“How was the parent night?” Liam asked. Unlike Emma and Killian, Liam had no interest in making an appearance at the school. He’d already had a number of appointments with all of Arabella’s teachers. After years of long spells away, he was now incredibly involved. Thus, he knew everything he needed to without having to brave the barbs of Manhattan’s elite.

“Successful,” Killian replied, pulling Emma in closer. She shook her head but couldn’t hide the smile at his lingering possessiveness

“They got the message then?”

“Aye. Every last one of them.”

“Good man. Well I think this calls for celebration.”

“Does it?” Emma joked, exchanging a look with her friends, both of whom laughed quietly. Their men were sometimes beyond understanding.

“I think it does. And I have an idea of how we can. I just finished the new installment at the gallery and –,” Graham had no chance to finish before Ruby had hit him full force in the chest with a flailing arm. The impact was hard enough to take his breath and prompt a loud ooof.

“It’s done?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“Surprise,” he said, playing up the wheezing that her hit created. Ruby was beyond hearing him. She was in crowd control mode making a well-received announcement. Due to an unforeseen need to close, everyone in line was having dinner on the house and then the truck would be back tomorrow. People were thrilled, as was the soup kitchen nearby. Anna offered to drive the truck for the delivery to the local charity and meet them at the gallery after. This was enough for the rest of them, who brought their dinner to eat picnic style at the exhibit, and they all set out for Graham’s place.

Everyone was excited for the prospect of what Graham had made. Despite questions from Ruby and the kids, he had been rather hush hush about the new show. Some time later, when they all finished their take out in the front room and entered the exhibit, they realized why. The title of the show was ‘Love in New York’ and it was a deeply personal testament to the feeling everyone searched for.

At Graham’s last exhibition, Emma had been amazed at the layers of materials and mastery involved. This time lived up to that as well. There was an intricacy of beauty here that defied understanding. It was shocking that one man could create so much, but Emma knew underneath the cool and easy going façade he was a man of deep passion. He had to be to keep up with Ruby. But Graham was also gifted with an ability to capture perfect moments. A story of depth and richness could be told with a single image or expressive work of art.

For nearly an hour they moved through it together, breaking up unconsciously into different groups. Graham and Ruby took their time together, with Ruby lost in the world her husband had created. She was rarely quiet, but in the face of this work she was so consumed she could do nothing but admire and feel and rejoice. Elsa and Liam also took in each part, with Henry and Arabella sticking together. Emma stuck close to Killian, knowing each piece spoke more surely to her because she loved him so much.

“Hey that’s us!”

Henry was right, and as Emma and Killian approached where he stood, the art piece in question came into view. It was an image of Emma and Killian with Henry on their wedding day. The three of them were together, laughing about something, and it felt like a perfect moment. The happiness was so clear, and so was the affection. They had all been so ready to take the next step, and their end of summer wedding on the beach near the ocean was exactly what they wanted. The most amazing part was that this was a completely unseen scene for Emma. She remembered the moment, but the photographer never caught it, at least not like this. The hyper-realistic painting held so much depth and emotion. It was incredible. Emanating outwards from there was also a mural-like collection of shells and metallic colored flowers. The effect was heavenly, and it felt like their wedding day, suspended in a magic that could never be recreated.

“Graham, it’s remarkable. I can’t believe it. It’s… it’s just perfect,” she finally said, thanking her friend. He accepted her hug and all of Henry’s praise. Emma expected her husband to agree, but when he remained quiet she looked at him. His face was fierce. Uh oh.

“There’s no way you’re selling that to anyone but me. Swear it to me, Graham.”

Graham laughed loudly before gesturing to the plaque beneath the piece. Inscribed there was the note ‘For Killian, Emma and Henry. A gift for your wonderful day and your new family.’

“Crisis averted,” Ruby joked and Emma looked back to Killian who was speaking to Graham, but whose eyes were still trained on the image. She could see the depth of his reaction to it.

“Barely,” Emma whispered. Killian then looked to her and she smiled. Only then did her husband exhale and smile back. With a quick thanks to Graham, he headed back and took her hand.

“I’ve spoken to Liam and Elsa. They’re eager to have Henry for the night with Arabella.”

“Oh really?” she asked, teasing him by pretending that wasn’t fabulously welcome news. Despite it being a school night, the kids were good about bed time, and since Liam had bought a town house right beside their new home, it would be easy to get Henry ready for the next day come morning.

“Aye, love. And I think, all things considered, I’ve been tremendously patient.”

“Hmm.” She caved when his arms looped around her and smiled. “I’m tempted to agree. Alright, Captain. Take me home.”

“As you wish.”

………….

There I was again tonight

Forcing laughter, faking smiles

Same old tired, lonely place

Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy

Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you

Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"

'Cross the room your silhouette

Starts to make its way to me

The playful conversation starts

Counter all your quick remarks

Like passing notes in secrecy

And it was enchanting to meet you

All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

And now I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"

It was enchanting to meet you

All I know is, I was enchanted to meet you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

That this night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

This is me praying that

This was the very first page

Not where the story line ends

My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again

These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

This night is flawless, don't you let it go

I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone

I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

I was enchanted to meet you

Please don't be in love with someone else

Please don't have somebody waiting on you

Post-Note: So there we have it. I hope that it lived up to the hopes that some of you had for a sequel to this story. I so rarely come back to these mixtape stories, but with my writing being as infrequent as it has been, I’ve decided to follow my muse wherever she leads. I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed this, and if, like me, you’ve been feeling the stress and anxiety of this time in the world, I hope this story sparked some joy. Keep your heads up everyone, and just know I’m sending you love and all good things, xE

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189, Part 190, Part 191, Part 192, Part 193, Part 194, Part 195, Part 196, Part 197, Part 198

Tagging some friends who may enjoy: @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @resident-of-storybrooke @winterbaby89 @teamhook

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