#but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dfortrafalgar · 14 hours

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Hiii! I'm so happy you are taking requests! I love the way you write, everything feels so real! I'm loving ILY and it's a bittersweet feeling now that it is ending (I'm the anon that commented early on saying that it was so relatable because I also had a miscarriage at 6 weeks). Thank you for that fic 🥰🤗

Now, my requests, if you choose to take it! I would love a jealous/protective Law X fem reader. I was thinking, no established relationship but some flirting going on, perhaps. Could be SFW or NSFW, it's up to you! I would just really loooooove some protective Law! I'm also obsessed with his hands so you can do whatever with that 😂

Did I mention that I love your writting? I did? I'll do it again. Thank you for sharing your gift! ❤️

I'm in annon but you can call me R.J. 😋😎

AAA HELLO R.J im so happy to hear from you again!!!!! no lie ive been thinking about you every day, your first message during my story was so amazingly sweet and touching and i havent been able to stop thinking about it, im so happy that you loved the end of the fic and to hear that you're doing well!!! <333

i ended up projecting a bit in this fic... and it ended up being a bit more Protective Law rather than Jealous Law, but i hope you like it all the same! i also juggled on nsfw, but decided that sfw worked better for this specific plot, so i hope that's alright!!!

thank you so much for requesting!!!! 💗❤️💓💕

Decontaminate the Heart

Law x Fem Reader

Your feelings toward Law had gone from a reasonable level of respect to a deep infatuation that you were readily keeping hidden. An unfortunate encounter with a predatory shopkeep might be what unravels your feelings... and the feelings of your captain.

Warnings: some descriptions of gross behavior from a stranger, light fluff, pre-relationship vibes, protective law but also struggling-to-accept-his-feelings awkward law

Law wasn’t fond of the word ‘jealous.’ After all, he was a seasoned veteran in the long game of Keeping All Human Emotions Bottled Up Inside So That You Don’t Show Weakness To Those Who Might Be Out To Hurt You. He had become a pro at it, too. After all, putting a word to an undefined emotion only validated that feeling, which was exactly the opposite of what Law needed. Mouth constantly downturned in a pensive frown, steely, cold eyes shutting down all encounters with those he deemed unfamiliar or even the slightest bit threatening, holding even his closest friends at arm’s length on good days. If he wasn’t the strong-willed, feared captain of the Heart Pirates, a man with a three billion beri bounty on his head, then who was he?

The answer is: a loser. He was a loser. Especially after he brought you on board his crew as a boatswain. That day, he unwillingly began the downward spiral that would transform into his emotional demise. A psychic catastrophe. An inner turmoil of the highest degree.

Ikkaku called it infatuation. Bepo called it love. The rest of his raunchy, stifled male crew called it being horny.

Whatever it was, it had Law in a steel trap, never letting go.

And on a particularly warm, sunny day, docked cliffside on an island with idyllic spring weather, his steel trap was donned in a flowy sundress that complimented her entire outward appearance in a way he didn’t think was humanly possible. When she first greeted Law before they departed the Polar Tang, she had bent down slightly, holding her hands together in front of her and pushing her biceps together just enough that her cleavage was on center stage for just a brief moment. She had giggled at the way Law’s face flushed with a crimson hue. Unprovoked… but not necessarily unappreciated.

Days for leisure were hard to come by as a pirate, so the crew was sure to take full advantage of the opportunities that crossed your path. The pirates were given the freedom to roam to their heart’s content, so long as they didn’t cause trouble. “Stress-free activities are crucial to maintaining good cardiac health,” Law would say. But everyone knew he enjoyed some sparring days off just as much as any average bloke.

Especially when those days off were spent in your company.

“Thank you for coming with me, Captain!” you quipped, your voice cheerful as you walked beside him, a small paper bag clutched in your hand, containing a small product you had just purchased from one of the local shops. The entire crew had shed their usual boiler suits for the day in exchange for more casual attire, you taking the opportunity to don the sundress that you had purchased a few months ago with Ikkaku. “I’m always happy when you take days off to get out of that stuffy office of your’s.”

Law fought tooth and nail to keep the pleased smirk that twitched his lips from showing on his face. He already needed to duel with his wandering eyes which kept itching to gaze at the way your breasts fit into the bodice of your light, flowy gown. “Of course, it’s nice to get out sometimes.” ‘With you,’ he added in his head before quickly balling up the thought into a crumpled mess and chucking it into a garbage pail. The worst part about all of this, unrelated to walking side-by-side with you (which was the complete opposite of a bad thing), was the fact that he was pressured to leave Kikoku behind on the Polar Tang. He felt naked without his sword perched on his right shoulder.

Your eyes were eagerly glancing between the storefronts that surrounded you on both sides, happy townspeople window shopping with their families and loved ones, partaking in the outdoor food markets, and spending quality time in the sun. The domestic bliss of days like this always made your soul feel lighter, your footsteps almost floating off the ground. A few couples passed by, their hands intertwined and souls combining with bliss, a sight that made Law’s own fingers twitch with the deep-seeded need to grasp your hand. Every once in a while, your own fingers would tingle with the desire to reach out for him as well.

He wouldn’t hold your hand because of affection, Law told himself. It was just to make sure other people knew you were off limits.

Was that because of affection? Was he even entitled to such a thought?

He stifled a frustrated groan. “Are you looking for something?” he asked curiously, picking up on the way your gleaming eyes darted to and fro.

“There was a shop I read about in the latest paper that I could have sworn was on this island…” you muttered, bringing your free hand up to nervously stroke the skin of your cheek. After a few more moments, your face lit up as your eyes landed on a shop tucked away between two larger markets, almost completely hidden from public view. “Found it!”

Law’s heart almost leapt out of his throat when you subconsciously snatched his hand, yanking him out of the flow of people on the street and towards the storefront. His stern golden eyes flashed up towards the sign above the front door.

‘WILD BILL’S PAWN SHOP’

“You read about this somewhere?” he asked, his voice revealing a level of skepticism as you stopped in front of the front door. A dingy, beat-up ‘OPEN’ sign carved into a plank of birch wood and hanging from a rusty chain was flipped outward toward the street, beckoning townsfolk inside to peruse whatever wares were contained within the unassuming wooden shack.

You excitedly nodded. “Yup, I was looking for places that might sell rare coins.”

Law’s breath caught in his throat. “But you don’t collect coins.”

“I was looking for you!” you called out, flashing him a smile that could have easily put him in an early grave. So much for being conscious of his heart health. With the way his organ was hammering behind his sternum, he had half a mind to be worried about spontaneous cardiac arrest.

Instead of responding, all he could muster was a quiet, pensive, “Hmm.”

You finally released his hand (his palm felt so cold now), and pushed open the thin wooden door to enter the shop. An obnoxious, ear-piercing bell chimed above the hinges, alerting any other shoppers or employees of your entrance. Law always hated gimmicks like that, they were a pirate’s worst nightmare. Instantly, the smell of centuries old dust and mildew flooded Law’s nose, making him suppress a sneeze into the collar of his shirt. He was about to make a snide remark about being susceptible to allergens, but kept his lips sealed when an amused giggle emitted from your lips at the way his face contorted with mild disgust.

He blindly followed you to the back of the store, past dusty shelves containing books from all walks of life, old technology that Law had never even seen before, and antiques from across the globe. Your expression remained one of wonder as you passed by each new item, gazing fondly at some of the more sentimental goods- boxes of old postcards, old newspapers from decades prior, wanted posters for pirates long deceased. For such a ratty-looking establishment, the variety of wares this ‘Wild Bill’ had on hand was quite impressive. In the very back of the store, a long glass case spanning almost the entire length of the wall was situated, separating a back room from the rest of the establishment. There was a small space to walk around behind the case in between the wall, where small sliding doors were built in to allow someone to remove the wares kept safe inside.

Law’s eyes finally lit up in wonder.

A plethora of fine metalwork was kept in the special enclosure, jewelry with the finest minerals and perfectly sculpted details in precious velvet boxes, metal treasures surely passed down through generations of wealth, and in the nearest corner, an assortment of collectable, commemorative coins from across the world. You smiled to yourself as Law drifted toward the coins, crouching down on his calves to more closely inspect what the shop had to offer.

He was so adorable.

“Can I help you folks with anything?” a voice from behind you asked, startling you from your affectionate daze.

A larger, older man emerged from behind one of the tall bookshelves, his hands in his pockets. He was dressed surprisingly gaudy, a bright purple overcoat that traveled past his rump covering a sky-blue button-up shirt and a polka dot bowtie. His belly was quite large, a curled handlebar mustache perched atop his upper lip. He looked wildly out of place in such a modest, dusty shop. Must be Wild Bill.

You flashed a cordial smile. “Just looking around!”

The sound of your talking alerted Law, who stayed crouched in front of the coin collection but tossed accusatory glares over his shoulder, assessing the man’s interactions with you under an analytical gaze. Out of instinct, as a pirate. As a captain. Nothing more… probably.

“Well, let me know if you need help finding anything!” the man hollered, his receding hairline making the dim light of the nearby lamps reflect off his oily skin. He stepped behind the glass containers with a small huff and disappeared into the back room, a curtain swooping closed behind him.

With the outrageous stranger gone, Law resumed looking over the fine details of each coin housed within their own individual boxes, while you approached the other end of the glass case and examined the jewelry.

Your eyes darted excitedly between pieces. Delicate rings with rare gemstones sat perfectly in their boxes, some dated as old as centuries ago. A bracelet that was assembled with the finest minerals, gleaming brightly through the dim atmosphere of the shop. As your eyes continued to dart from one object to the next, you finally found yourself entranced by one thing in particular. It was a necklace, more of a choker than a longer-hanging piece, with a small purple amethyst mounted elegantly in the center of a silver pendant. The complimentary silver chain seemed to be fairly heavy duty just as it was delicate enough to still be an elegant accessory. You felt a smile pull at your lips. You doubted you had enough beri to afford it, but you’d be damned if you couldn’t at least try it on.

Wild Bill once again appeared from behind the curtain after a few moments, placing a few items on top of the counter to be placed inside the glass enclosure. Law watched as the old man’s gaze turned to you as you bent over, tucking your dress behind your knees to crouch down and get a closer look at the amethyst necklace.

“Anything caught your eye, missy?” Bill asked, his voice far too loud for such a small shop as he leaned over the top of the counter and gazed through the transparent surface at the pieces you were admiring. A seemingly friendly smile adorned his pudgy face.

You enthusiastically nodded. “Yes, actually, can I try on this necklace?” Your finger pointed through the protective barrier toward your interest. “The one with the small amethyst pendant.”

Law kept watching your interaction out of the corner of his eye.

“Of course, of course!” boomed Bill, bending over and sliding the door of the case open to remove the necklace, holding it by the chain in his large, burly hand.

Without being asked, he stepped out from behind the counter and approached you from behind, unclasping the chain and looping it around your neck. Law watched, his leg muscles tensing as you visibly stiffened at the proximity of the man as he clasped the chain together around your neck. He pulled over a small standing mirror to have you admire the piece that sat elegantly between your collarbones. Your fingers ghosted over the gemstone embedded in the fine silver, a small smile ghosting over your lips.

“It looks absolutely beautiful,” you whispered.

Bill stepped closer, almost pinning you from behind against the counter. His large hands rested against the glass case, caging you in. “It does… fitting for a beautiful woman such as yourself.”

The air went ice cold as Law watched the man’s hand wander upward, trailing across your forearm and up toward your bicep, across your shoulder and to your neck. Your face had quickly contorted into an expression of terror, having been caged against the counter all of a sudden against your will, being caressed by this stranger. Law felt frozen. His brain was screaming at him to move, to do something, to get you out of this shop as soon as possible. But he couldn’t move. Why couldn’t he move?

“I’m sorry, I think I’m going to pass, actually,” you uttered, trying to push yourself away from him. Your voice had quickly grown shaky, apprehensive.

“No, no, it really does suit you!” Bill murmured, his head angling downward, predatory eyes gazing over the soft skin of your neck. The way he kept you pinned against the counter prevented you from moving away from him. His belly was almost pushed flush against your back, making your hands tremble in fear.

“ROOM.”

A flash of blue light engulfed the surrounding area. You immediately breathed a sigh of mild relief. A static sensation permeated the space around you, making goosebumps rise across your skin and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. Just as soon as the bubble surrounded you, the predatory man was replaced with your captain standing protectively behind you, his lean hand on your shoulder to keep you steady.

Now he’d done it.

“You’re…” Bill stammered, his own hands shaking with realization. “I’ve seen that ability, you’re… you’re…!”

Law didn’t give him time to fully realize who’s identity he was dealing with before his hand was in yours, forcefully dragging you out of the shop, harshly pushing between narrow shelves of delicate antiques until the two of you burst back out into the sunlight. Law didn’t let up his pace, your feet barely keeping you steady as you ran. Onlookers stepped back, shocked gasps and wide eyes following the two of you in your mad scramble back to the cliff where the submarine was kept concealed. He just needed to get you some place secure. Somewhere where you could wash away the phantom grime of the hands that had just touched you.

What a bad day to leave his sword behind.

The two of you had just barely made it past the outskirts of the port town when you tripped, slamming into Law’s backside and falling to your knees with a pained grunt. The shoes you were wearing definitely weren’t built for mad sprints through a town.

“Shit…” Law grumbled, crouching down in front of you. “Are you alright?”

Your hands were still shaking, anxiously palming the dirt and grass beneath your fingers as your lungs heaved, desperate to catch up on the oxygen you lost in your frantic sprint. Small tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes, but you were quick to blink them away. Your heart was pounding madly in your chest, your brain a fuzzy mess of scrambled, panicked thoughts that couldn’t make sense in any order. Law was so close to you, so close you could almost smell the mild soap he used in the shower. Something woody. Mellow. So very him. You wanted to hug him. The stress of the sudden incident was rapidly catching up to you.

Instead, the only thing you managed to do was blurt out an awkward, weary, “Thank you.”

Law wordlessly helped you to your feet, walking you back to the Polar Tang. His mouth was drawn in that pensive line once more.

—

It took a few hours for you to register the fact that you had sprinted out of the pawn shop with the necklace still clasped around your neck. When you took it off, you held it gently in your hands, gazing at the way the brilliant purple gem was nestled perfectly in the metal sculpted around it. But the fingerprints around the chain from the predatory man who groped you left a phantom burning pain on your skin. You still loved the piece, you truly did, and you wished you could wear it, but you felt violated. There was no denying it.

You needed to scrub it clean. You needed to scrub your own body clean, it seemed.

Law was in the medical bay when you carefully knocked on the door, hoping that no one was in there with him. The tired sounding, ‘Come in,’ granted you permission to gently push the heavy hatch door open, stepping into the dim lighting and closing the entrance behind you.

Your captain was in the midst of re-organizing the entire medicine cabinet, floor to ceiling. He did it when he was stressed.

“Yeah?” was all he asked when you entered, barely looking away from his obsessive work while you stood awkwardly in the doorway, holding your necklace in your cupped hands like it was a suspicious specimen to be brought to a lab.

“I know this is a weird request, but can you disinfect this?” you asked.

You held up the necklace by the very end of the chain, dangling it in the air away from you. Law finally turned his attention toward you, an eyebrow raised.

“Why?” He sounded genuinely oblivious to why you would ask for such a favor.

You rocked back and forth on your heels. “It still feels like it has the fingerprints of that guy. From the shop,” you clarified. When you said it out loud, you grimaced at how childish you sounded, but at the same time, you felt your concerns, your insecurities over what had transpired, were justified.

You were violated. Case closed.

It seemed Law picked up on that as well. As much as he struggled to put himself in other peoples’ shoes, he could see the anxious look in your eyes that told him everything he needed to know- you wanted to wash away all traces of the man who burst your personal bubble in one of the worst ways imaginable.

Law felt a searing jealousy in his chest, the sudden reminder of the way your face contorted in utter horror as you were touched.

Your captain wordlessly stepped forward and gently took the chain from your fingers. You watched him silently as he stepped back toward the counter, rummaging through the supplies he had laid out mid-organizing before procuring an opaque bottle of rubbing alcohol and filling a small container about halfway with the solution before submerging your necklace inside. He capped the bottle and placed it back where he found it, amongst his other disinfectant chemicals.

“We’ll let that sit for a few minutes,” he suggested. “In the meantime, I have these wet napkins you can use to clean your neck, if you want.”

He took the words right out of your head, as if he could read your mind. You gratefully accepted the small container of alcohol wipes, starting with your neck and rubbing the cold solution down your collarbones, chest, and arms. You didn’t care if it would dry out your skin later, the feeling of wiping away that man’s fingerprints in some capacity was more freeing than anything else in the world.

Law simply watched, glancing away from you every once in a while when you turned at an angle that would let you see him staring wanton daggers in your direction. He shouldn’t be watching you scrub yourself down while fully clothed, if anything that could also be a violation of your unspoken privacy.

After what felt like hours, you finally disposed of the wipes in the nearby waste receptacle while Law fished out your necklace with a gloved hand, placing it on a dry cloth and carefully removing all the liquid from the surface of the metal.

He started speaking without thinking. “Silver and amethyst are sturdy materials that can be placed in rubbing alcohol for disinfecting,” he stated. “If this was some other weaker gem, like an emerald, it wouldn’t be so easy.”

You grinned, stepping closer as he polished the chain. His hand that wasn’t gloved carefully moved along the cloth, outlining the shape of the necklace folded under it in precise, delicate motions.

Goodness, you loved his hands.

“So you’re as good with rocks and minerals as you are with health science?” you asked, a small, playful smirk on your lips.

Law’s own mouth twitched upward. “I suppose so.” He gently unfolded the cloth and removed the necklace. “There, all clean.”

You grinned appreciatively, turning around and brushing away any obstacles in the way of your neck.

He stared at you from behind your back. “... What are you doing?” he asked dumbly.

You tossed a glance over your shoulder. “Waiting for you to put it on.”

Law chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you confirmed. “I trust you.”

What you didn’t say was just how much you trusted him. You would willingly lay down your life for your captain, the love for him, both as a person and as a pirate, greatly surpassing that of a captain and his subordinate. Sometimes, well, most of the time, you desperately hoped that he felt the same way.

After understanding your request, Law stepped toward you slightly, one hand still gloved as he looped the necklace around the front of your neck, bringing both ends of the chain around the back to clasp at the base of your spine. His deft, inked fingers left scorching hot trails in their wake, your skin craving his touch. The complete opposite of your counter in the pawn shop.

Once secured, you turned around to face him, a pleased smile on your face as your fingers once again ghosted over the delicate, purple mineral embedded into the pendant. “How does it look?”

Law prayed that the blush on his cheeks wasn’t noticeable through the dim lighting on the medical bay. He would put necklaces on your soft skin every day if you’d let him.

Oh, how he wished you’d let him.

“It looks great…” he mumbled, his voice soft and apprehensive. “It suits you.”

His voice, the anxious tilt of his eyebrows, spoke volumes to you as your smile grew wider. “Hey, Law?”

He turned his attention back to you, his lips pressed firmly together.

“Thank you for protecting me back there,” you sighed. Your voice had gone quiet, but the look on your face was indebted.

“Of course,” he whispered back. His mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, his brain clearly struggling to say the words he so desperately wanted to say.

The sight had you suppressing a giggle as you stepped forward, fighting back your reservations as you wrapped your arms around his torso in a hug, dropping your head into the crook of his shoulder and inhaling that scent that was oh-so familiar to you. Disinfectant and oil, so clearly from living life on the Polar Tang, but also so distinctly him.

You loved it.

You were starting to come to the conclusion that you really loved him.

And with the way Law’s arms slowly wrapped around your own body, the hands you loved so much resting between your shoulder blades and the lowest point of your back, you started to wonder if he secretly, deep down in that weary heart of his, felt the same way about you.

#x reader #reader insert #fem reader #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #op x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #request fics

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street-smarts00 · 2 days

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I have a request for a drabble or headcannon style thing, whatever you prefer. Where spencer and reader are very close (friends or dating you can decide) and he makes a fatal mistake on the job that gets reader killed 😳 if that is something you will do 🥰 thank you

(Long) Drabble: Doubt Comes in

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!reader

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! Normally I don’t like sad endings lol BUT this request gave me the motivation to write something with this idea I’ve had. I almost made it a full one shot but didn't know how. (if you like Orpheus and Eurydice, see if you can catch the hadestown references)

Warnings!: Sad ending/ANGST, Murder, death of a loved one, mentions of kidnapping, anxiety and questioning reality

Its kinda long for a drabble but not long enough where I would call it a one-shot, i got carried away but hope ya'll like it!

The team was working on a case with an unsub that was targeting couples. The team didn’t realize that the unsub had been stalking them since they arrived. He quickly learned of your relationship with spencer.

You were leaving the precinct to follow up with a victim's family member when the unsub had snuck up on you. After you went missing the team went into a frenzy and tracked your location to an abandoned warehouse.

When they arrived on the scene they had the unsub on the phone. He claimed that you were safe and unharmed.

He said you were free to go but only one member of the team could go get you. He demanded they send in her boyfriend.

Hotch was hesitant to send Spencer in. He was in shambles ever since you went missing that afternoon. His mind was scattered, he couldn’t think of anything but you.

They figured while this was exactly what the unsub wanted, it was their best chance to get you out safe.

Spencer was handed the phone and headed towards the warehouse. The building was dimly lit, it was so dark he could barely see 5 feet in front of him. The place was filled with storage and pallet rack shelves turning it into a maze.

As he made his way through the building the unsub would give him directions if he strayed too far from the path. It was like the unsub had eyes everywhere, he must’ve either had cameras or was positioned on a hidden upper level.

While Spencer was walking the unsub would taunt him through the phone. Asking questions about your relationship.

It made him sick. He never said anything to the man on the other end of the line; didn’t want to give the unsub the satisfaction of knowing he was in shambles.

It felt like he had been walking for forever when he finally reached you. You were curled up in a corner of a dead end. When you saw him you jumped up and landed in his arms. He felt you trembling against him and it made his heart crack.

“You said you would let her go if I came to get her,” he spoke into the phone with a shaky voice.

“And I intend to keep my promise. You both are free to go. Except, she must walk behind you. You cannot not turn around under any circumstance until you both are out of the building.”

“What will happen if I do?”

“Let’s just say you’re wearing a kevlar vest and she’s not. If you turn around, speak, or hang up the phone, I shoot.” Spencer's stomach dropped. “And don’t even think about being a hero and giving her your vest.”

“That's all we have to do? And we can go?” You asked, voice horse from not speaking in hours.

The voice on the phone spoke again. “You’d be surprised how many men can not resist the temptation. The worst temptation you’ll ever meet, the one that lines between your ears and behind your eyes.”

It seemed like a simple enough task. To walk out of the building. Spencer trusted you to be there and you trusted him to keep his eyes ahead.

He placed a hand on your cheek. “I promise I-“

“I know. I love you,” You interrupted.

“I love you,” he spoke softly before leaning forward to capture his lips with yours. The kiss was desperate, like he was trying to savor every last bit.

You both separated from the kiss and started your journey through the warehouse. This time the unsub wasn’t giving him directions to find his way back. At first he didn’t need them, with his eidetic memory he could recall the pathway he took.

But as he kept walking the anxiety started to eat away at him. The darkness was messing with his eyes and the silence was deafening. He started to make wrong turns, forgetting which path to take and doubting himself. Either he was getting lost or the building was getting longer.

The only thing that brought him comfort was the sound of your footsteps behind him. Or was that his footsteps? He didn’t know anymore.

It felt like his senses were working against him. He already felt like an idiot with his mind not being able to think straight due to your disappearance. But now your life was in his hands and they’ve been trembling since he walked in.

The logical part of his brain told him there would be no reason for you to not be behind him. But the anxiety running around in his head was questioning if you had ever been there at all. Or why would he let him win? Why would he let her go?

He had thoughts pounding in his mind of “Is this a trap that's been laid for me? Is this a trick that's been played on me?”

After what felt like a lifetime he made it to the front door. His footsteps picked up and he grasped at the handle to feverishly push the door open.

Spencer walked outside as a wave of relief washed over him. They finally made it.

He turned to face you as the corners of his mouth perked up. He met your eyes, shining with glee that you made it out safe.

Then it got loud. He heard gunshots vibrating against his eardrums. Your eyes went wide as saucers. You grasped at your abdomen before you crashed into Spencer.

How could this happen? They made it out. He said he would let them go. And Then Spencer saw it.

You hadn’t made it out yet.

He turned to look at you before you crossed. You both didn’t make it out. You got hurt, and it was his fault.

He held you close to him. The surrounding sounds all blended together. Morgans screams for a medic, the officers breaking into the building. That all fell on deaf ears.

It seemed as though his whole life fell apart when he saw you mouth his name as the light disappeared from your eyes.

Your life was in his hands, and he let you slip away.

“Eurydice, dying now a second time, uttered no complaint against her husband. What was there to complain of, but that she had been loved?” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid one shot #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction

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deerlottie · 3 days

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okay okay but what about making natalie wear the chastity belt?? like she'd obviously would act as if she doesn't mind, acting all tough and stuff like that, but she's secretly dying.

ohhh and when she breaks 😵‍💫😭 she'd be super whiney, if she's actually desperate enough she'd definitely get on her knees and beg you with tears in her eyes (which she makes you promise to never mention that again), and when you finally touch her she cums in 5 minutes and makes a mess everywhere

-🦌

she only lasts a few days before you catch her trying to use her vibrator on it @___@ locking up all her toys so she cant get off with those :3 she's scoffing and saying "whatever idc >_>" but oh she cares so much!!!! subtly trying to get some relief when you're not looking but its not enough - she needs your touch :(

she's waiting on her knees when you open the door, getting back from work/class/whatever it is. you're smirking in triumph - you know she couldn't last long. she's half naked, looking like she was trying to touch herself after you left, and rubbing the belt against her feet, trying to get some friction. you bend down to her level and grab her chin, cooing at her.

"what do we have here, hm?" your thumb swipes at her lips, and she whines, her breathing labored.

"please," she claws at your shoulders, tears threatening to spill. you tug her up, inspecting her body. "i don't care how desperate i sound, i need you to fuck me or i'm gonna go crazy. please. all i can think about are your fingers."

you pout your lips, pretending to think about it. she shakes as you trail your hand down to the belt, playfully pulling on it.

"it's going back on once you cum. got it?"

#natalie scatorccio thoughts 💭#🐛

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craycraybluejay · 6 months

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Bruh I be having literally the worst urges and I feel bad that I don't feel bad at all. Like damn. Guess I'm really like that. Well, anyway.

#i am apathetic to whatever monstrosities lie within my mindscape #or rather i enjoy them and am apathetic to the idea that they are evil #unfortunately the fact that I'm excited ab them makes me rly rly rly want to talk ab them #which would be bad #but if it gets bad enough i think its time i let my therapist in on the next circle of anouther hell #i know she will be kind no matter what i spring on her #but this. i dont know how to feel or what to think about all this #its pathological. i can fix it about as well as i can fix the fact that i adore music or get turned on by fear or am consistently-#-platonically or otherwise pulled to murderers and the like #i know its some psychosexual nonsense-- some fixation rooted in some perverse symbolism that i cant fully grasp #its so difficult to be a BadWrong thoughts and desires person #bc even tho i have like. some level of control and ethicsband whatnot. even tho im not doing the guilt ocd thing.#even though i know im ok the way i am #i also know i cant talk ab it. cant be excited about it. cant vent or happy rant about it. stay quiet. let it eat ya #cause ppl cant accept some things cant like. come to terms with things. again and again #i find myself relating more to 'good people' but being able to talk more openly and honestly with 'bad people'#like im too far from either side to ever be fully myself but i must let it out #and so i find i cant trust the people i love most with some of the most personal things more than i can trust a complete stranger #because at least that stranger has no spare room to judge. and i cant give af about losing a strangers high esteem of me #i share something truly heinous and sure i may be threatened but. disappointment from ppl u love is worse than murderous rage from strangers #which came first- the fixation or the corruption? i think it was the fixation #i was like that before. whatever false indulgences i have given myself will always sate the beast and not create it #i am not a bad person. but i will always have a monster inside me. a balancing act between #being a somewhat polite functioning member of society and completely losing myself to the dark #i dont hate myself. i wish i did sometimes so i wouldnt have the urge to vomit it all out #i wish i hated myself and felt such guilt over all that so i could be happy with being quiet. i wish it was only good that excited me proper #or rather i wish i knew someone like me in the right ways. irl. no phones no danger. who i could share with excitedly and not feel like ill #be told that im a freak who deserves to die. someone who will share equally horrific things with me and will keep me in check #i want talk therapy but with someone that has something SO wrong with them. a friendship that is nasty and fun and grossly honest #someone to say 'i know what ur talking ab/how u feel' when i say something pitch dark

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lisbonsteresa · 1 year

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they make me so

#tm #the way she immediately goes along with him there's no hesitation and then she immediately puts them in the same boat i want to scream #because there's a way to read this that it's actually too much faith; she trusts him and his methods - weird though they usually are -#maybe too much - the 'one day i'm gonna get fired because of you; that's just how it is' route #(which is like that excellent tag i saw - that lisbon's 'a rebel with the trauma of having to be responsible' -#like she likes breaking the rules and jane breaks them in fun ways (usually) and his rule-breaking gets results #- the 'people might ask why you signed on with me in the first place' bit alsosheskindofinlovewithhimnbd)#but on the other hand there is a bit of 'such little faith' too because yes he gets results but she knows firsthand (and repeatedly)#that he runs the risk of hurting - himself; others; her - while he gets those results #and she's putting them in the same boat she's making them equally responsible for anything that happens #*unequally actually she'd take the brunt of any punishment/backlash as they both know #and you COULD (and i do) see that as her trying (maybe unconsciously) to temper him; to pull him back from going TOO far #whatever you're doing you're not doing alone; remember this is on me now too don't go too far #CAN'T YOU SEE THERE'S PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU; WHO NEED YOU #and like does the tempering always work? no; obviously; for multiple reasons #but for her to - on whatever level - think that she would be enough FOR it to work? much to think about #(it's crazy how it's so clear that on some level they both know she's the most important person to him #but they're also just....tucking that fact away until a moment comes when they can actually think fully about what it means #(which would have to be post red john but also they're just avoidant bitches too afraid to look too close i love it)#anyway i'm back at work so i'm back to thinking too much about tv shows that ended 8 years ago it's so cool and stable #(also rigsby just going along with it too lkfasdj i just adore them)#FUCK THE END OF THE EPISODE BARK BARK I FEEL CRAZY #TERESA LISBON YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO ME LIKE SHIT

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thecherrygod · 1 year

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thinking about hdb while holding my head in my hands and suffering

#my posts #i cant fully articulate this #idk if i have the time either #but. help. i will tag this with my organization tags. i may see this at some other time and maybe ill be able to so #disco elysium #hdb #im just thinking about him and martinaise harry and his childhood and the 15th indotribe thing and dora #how probably considering the type of friends he had and how they all ended..... they were probably all like him personality wise #like. im not saying they were bad people like harry was kind of an asshole but not fully #like they were all a bunch of teens in a bad situation trying to make the best of it however they can and well... didnt work out too well #but what i mean is that i think thats partially why he got that level of attached to dora? she didnt go through what he did #she had the money to not go through that she was stable she was a constant in his life that was pure and that wasnt always #going through something. a guide. harry went to her like a moth to a fire with pure devotion bc she was everything he never had #she probably also treated him different than what all his previous friends would have. i imagine her to be very gentle #and harry probably never got to know too much about people being soft so that was also. new. but somethign imposible to him #so i can see how he would love her like that to the point of basically worshipping her as god and how he would still love her #years after it went to shit even when he cant remember anything. it makes sense #i think they were engaged bc the wedding gown but idk if its said in game. but he loved her enough to want to marry her in a world #where real love isnt possible for him but only for new people in a new world he still wanted that with her even if it didnt work out #he holds to whatever he can of her as a lifeline and i. man. dude. yeah no i get him #idk how long they were together but it also doesnt matter bc of how harry is as a person #also of course at first it was all good. she was basically fixing him but he cant get fixed only with love in a world like that!#or with a life like his... it was always going to go down. and i. dude #... i am thinking about this as someone who still loves someone and we werent even dating like #i think if we dated and it went bad like. i think id be in a similar situation to harry tbh. i get him #yeah no yeah lmao i do think of this person also sort of as the only good thing in my life #and i am glad she did reject me when i confessed bc if i had fully lost her i dont know where id be? but also man its been 7 years #of the rejection and basically 10 of falling for her. i get harry so fucking badly on this one USHDGIUHUSG #ok in the end i did say what i had to say but in the tags i dont think ill make a proper post out of it #but i did write it in a way that wasnt articulated for a post so i think i was right making it like this lmao

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munamania · 2 years

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sorry bitterness consumes the soul etc etc <33 i will say though. depending on what is going through her head this could all be really fucking cruel lmfao

#like. alright. idk if she Knows i have feelings for her but given the whole blocked stories thing and whatever like. who knows #what bf said. and whether she is or was at any point genuinely confused or something because she does like him but we. hit it off. and it #was all just a Lot. like that doesn’t give the excuse for the times when it felt like she was sorta.. leading me on. yk. though maybe i was #truly delusional and stupid last semester i don’t know. maybe she just also enjoys talking to me on a friendly level and that’s fine and all #but it’d be really weird if she like. also refuses to acknowledge me outside of class? or anything like that..#or like. basically was just using me to stroke her ego in that sense if she does Know. like that would be shitty #would i like to be friends sure do i think this would absolutely crush my soul probably.#and i’d like to say ohh i don’t think she’s doing xy or z but i truly don’t know her. you know. beyond the little bits #of time we’ve had to talk about our lives and whatever #and anyway. it is stupid that i’ve spent so long trying to guess at what’s on her mind cause i’ll never know unless you know.#we’re ever close enough that we can talk about it or. whatever.#so. i definitely think when i see her again i’m going to take any chance i can to say something about last semester. um yk. in a way that #makes sense i’m not just insane. though i do hope that i can subtly make boyfriend seem really paranoid and weird. sorry. lol. but he was!#honestly if i were hitting on her or trying to make a move i’d understand him being like that but i was polite and friendly #so he has no business getting involved in my personal feelings! yeah i #don’t like him yeah i have feelings for his gf but you get what i mean i’m not. Trying to be an asshole here.#do i wish they’d break up? if she’s not happy. but am i going to like literally be a homewrecker? obviously not again who knows #if i even have the sway to. SORRY i’m being soooo insane one thing about me i can talk about a topic #a million times. anyway.#i just hope it’s not insane emotional manipulation or anything on anyones part i don’t know.#we have a really easy banter so i think it’ll be easy enough to talk to her and then hopefully. have a little bit more clarity as to where #we stand. yk.#abby talks #might delete this later if i decide i’m being a little tooooo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫#i guess what i’m trying to say is. because this isn’t all the clear and obviously it’d be fine if we’re just friends. but the way we #interact is a little. idk. like we tease each other a lot and it’s like girl idk u tho… i’m having fun but huh?

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tomstoast · 10 months

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Abigail just wanted to make her dad proud, she can't take back the things she did for his approval

#I think many people who grew up under paternal abuse #especially with a psychological element #can understand blindly doing things before your brain had cooked enough to fully understand what you were doing or the consequences #thinking that the only way your father will love you is if you play along with whatever fucked up thing hes cooked up this time #she might even have convinced herself she liked it #and tbh probably did on some level #i wonder though if her adult self #absent of Hannibal's influence #would have come back around to her humanity #forcing her to face the pain of things her dad did through her #blood on her hands #all the families she destroyed in an uncalculated effort to keep her own family together #again in a world where Hannibal didn't get to her #i wonder if she could have healed #hannibal posting #thomase postes

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helluvapoison · 2 months

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Could I get Adam, Lute and Lucifer and how they 'court' the reader? Like how birds with court each other, little gifts, wing 'dances', nesting, etc...

Also, could I be your 🐌 anon? <3<3<3

Birds of a Feather

Adam, Lute and Lucifer courting you

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

˚✧₊⁎ Adam ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Peacocking has nothing on The First Man

• His personality is amped up to the highest level when he sees you walk in a room

• (Overcompensation for how fucking nervous you make him)

• Adam gets cocky when he knows he has your attention

• Tossing grapes high in the air and catching them in his mouth, bragging louder than usual about something or the other

• Heaven forbid you laugh at any of his antics, (His smirk is dangerous, “Oh you like that?”) he’ll start singling you out in front of everyone, calling your name before he acts up

• Performances include inviting you to watch his band play and miraculously getting more energy

• Casually tosses guitar picks in your direction— and when he finds out you kept one!? He’s over the moon

• He won’t go out of his way to get you food but he’ll order you something if he goes somewhere

• Adam hates nesting. He doesn’t like being stressed in general and nesting is really fucking stressful!

• The very fact seeing you pricks the urge in him to nest drives him insane

• (AKA, he likes you a lot more than he thought he did!)

• Seeing you in his space does something he doesn’t particularly hate though

• “It’s whatever if you don’t like it.” Adam shrugs

• “No, I think it looks nice! Very you. Tell me about these pictures?”

• He’s fucking done for

˚✧₊⁎ Lute ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Like they have a mind of their own, her wings stretch out and audibly fluff up when she makes eye contact with you

• Mortifying is an understatement

• She picks out trinkets to give to you at first, something small that could be waved off as insignificant

• Later, when Lute realizes her affections are returned, she brings useful offerings or something you offhandedly mentioned needing

• She wishes she could tell you about the exterminations solely to brag

• See how fierce she is, how skilled she is, how good of a protector she could be for you

• Lute will ask you to arm wrestle as a compromise. She gets to hold you hand and show off her strength!

• Nesting was fine, it was the judgment part that drove her up a wall

• Watching your eyes roam over her apartment, deciding whether or not it was good enough for you? Gah!

• “What, uh—“ Lute clears her throat, she’ll hate herself for even asking later, “What do you think?”

• You smile knowingly, something else that makes her absolutely mad, “It’s perfect.”

• Lute beams with pride like she’s won a great victory

˚✧₊⁎ Lucifer ⁎⁺˳✧༚

• Never before has he felt the need to actually flaunt.. anything?

• With you it hits him like a fucking train and it’s even harder to supress it

• He’s Lucifer! That’s supposed to be self explanatory, that’s supposed to be enough

• Suddenly he’s checking every mirror on his way to you, making sure he looks better than he feels

• He tries to find other ways to steal your attention or show that he would be a worthy partner

• …But showing off his wings couldn’t hurt, right? He has six after all. If you needed to get to the other side of town he’d be more than happy to fly you over!

• Nothings too good for you! If Lucifer thinks you’ll want or like something, he’s buying it!

• Did you notice he can make things too? He’ll make you something— or fix something for you!

• Quick, break that so he can show you he can fix it!

• Lucifer pulls all the stops trying to prove himself, nesting is no exception… he’s just not great at it

• He starts! However a little after beginning he realizes just how big his mansion is and gets overwhelmed so he closes all the doors and focuses his energy on the only room that matters; his

• “I mainly stay in here,” Lucifer explains while squishing a duck in his fist, watching you explore his room, “I cleaned it up for you! N-Not for you, not for that— I mean not that I’m opposed! I just meant so that you could, uh, see?”

• “I see why you like it, I’d never wanna leave.”

• You’re gonna kill him saying shit like that

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ 🐌 CAN I GIVE YOU A KITH BECAUSE THIS WAS SO FUN!!!!!

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel headcanons #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar headcanon #lucifer morningstar imagine #hazbin hotel adam headcanon #hazbin hotel adam imagine #hazbin hotel adam x reader #lute headcanon #lute imagine #lute x reader

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leclercstars · 4 months

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lando fic🙏🙏 size kink and pushing down on her lower stomach while he's inside!!?

Obsessed with this one. This might be my fave thing I've ever written so thank you to whoever requested this.

house of balloons.

Lando Norris x Reader

Warnings: 18+!! smut, hate sex, slight degradation and dom!Lando, cursing, size kink, unprotected sex.

“Get a grip,” you snapped as you strutted away from the bar. Now you had to wait to get another vodka lemonade. There was a viciousness to everything about you in that moment, from your facial expression to the way you sat and rejoined your friend group.

“What was that?” your best friend knew everything about your life, and you knew she was asking just to get a rise out of you.

“What do you fucking think? I thought him and his friends had stopped going here.”

“Well breaking news: that is not the case,” one of your other friends chuckled.

“Ugh, I just cannot deal with this tonight,” you sat back in the the booth and groaned, pulling out your phone in hopes of avoiding more conversation about the topic.

“I should start making you that angry more often.” read the text that suddenly lit up your screen.

You hated Lando, and he hated you right back. Ever since freshman year you could not stand his “holier than thou” level arrogance and the way he always had to find a way to push your buttons in whatever setting you two were in. From class, to the bar all the way to the time you two ended up in the therapy waiting room together.

“Okay Lando pls stfu. Dealing with you tonight was enough.” You had gotten into a heated argument with him in the bar, which you suddenly could not remember the subject of, pondering his last text in your head.

“I think I know how to fix our little problem”

What could he possibly mean by that. No way was he about to suggest sex.

“And what might that be?” you chuckled to yourself, noticing that your friends were peering over at your phone screen. Little snoops.

“Let’s leave.” Yep, there it was. He thinks fucking will somehow be the answer to your now four-year battle with each other. You had made each other’s lives a living hell. One time you fought so bad you both started crying, in public. Not the finest moment for either of you. But you thought more and more about his proposition. Sometimes he stared at you a little too long when you wore one of your skimpy going out tops, especially that lace corset, which of course you happened to be wearing tonight. He stood a little close to you to whisper insults in your ear, and occasionally slid a hand to the small of your back when you were standing next to each other. Maybe this was the answer. Besides, hate sex actually sounded kind of fun.

“If you really want to do this then come over to the booth and I’ll get up and leave with you.” If this was really his master plan, you were going to make sure everyone knew about it. You weren’t gonna let him get away with lying about this little inchident later. It took him less than 2 minutes to appear at your table, hand extended towards you, a mischievous look painted all over his face.

“See ya around!” he waved to your friends as he dragged you out the bar.

“I better be getting a text about this later” you looked back at your friends' aghast expressions. They were looking at you as if you had just been shot through the head.

It didn’t take long to get to Lando’s shitty college house. You argued the whole way there. You almost shoved him in front of a moving car on accident. Maybe that would make the sex better.

He led you up to his bedroom, a surprisingly gentleman-ly gesture. The only light came from the dim glow of his computer monitor, casting a red ambiance over the entire room. How perfect, you thought.

“Let’s just get all that anger out, huh?”

“Worth a shot.” you smirked before inching closer and closer to him. The space between you two held so much tension, a pit of horniness, rage and frustration. He grabbed your face with both hands, his lips crashing into yours. You had never kissed someone with this much passion before. Neither of you knew how to keep your hands to yourself, but why bother. His hands explored every single inch of you, places that very few people had ever touched. He had already unhooked your bra effortlessly, your soft tits pressing against his chiseled chest. Fuck, he actually was kind of sexy all this time. He started gently biting your lower lip, causing you to moan into him. You could not be the only one moaning in this situation, so naturally you started palming his growing erection over his boxers.

“Shit,” he whispered softly before groaning, his lips never leaving your face. There was a neediness, a hunger to the way you were touching each other. An intensity, a fury, and unfortunately one of the most erotic things you had ever experienced.

He picked you up and threw you back onto the bed, the harshness of it turning you on even more.

You covered your pussy with your hands- giggling. You couldn’t help it, teasing him felt like the right thing to do in this scenario.

“Oh that’s not gonna work. I’m gonna fuck that little attitude right out of you.”

“I’d like to see you fucking try, pal.” your sly expression just making him angrier and angier.

He pinned your hands above your head as you laughed, loving that he was really taking it as a challenge. He slid his boxers off with his free hand.

Holy fuck. You had NEVER seen a dick that big. He was absolutely massive. Your confidence faltered for just a second, thinking that even though he was so much larger than you in stature, his dick could not have been that exceptional. But boy were you fucking wrong.

He gave you half at first, watching the way your face contorted as you adjusted to the feeling of him filling you up. He didn’t let you get comfortable for long, sliding the rest in as you shouted his name, probably waking the entire neighborhood up. Whoops.

“This might be the only time I ever get you to submit to me like this. Fuck you look hot when you’re being a good girl.”

You were going to fight back more- but those words made you want to listen to anything he told you to do for the rest of eternity. After two sickeningly slow thrusts, he started pounding into you. That attitude you had earlier had completely left the room, probably the stratosphere too. His dick felt like nothing you had ever taken before, nearly hitting your cervix with every pump in and out. It unfortunately was not going to take long for you to orgasm, as much as you wanted to hold out so you could keep experiencing this feeling. The feeling you never thought the guy you hated could give you. Pure and utter ecstasy. The alcohol flowing through your veins had you putting on quite the performance, moaning just as loud as Lando, tossing your head back and creating large claw marks along his back.

He thrusted deep into you- holding himself there. He made eye contact with you, his eyes low and filled with a fiery lust you had never seen before. He pressed against your lower stomach and holy fuck- you could not believe this was real.

“You feel that? That’s my fucking cock all the way inside you. You’re being such a good little slut taking me like this.”

You never wanted that feeling in your stomach to go away.

He pressed down again, shooting waves of pleasure through you that made your vision start to blur. Were you going to orgasm when he wasn’t even fucking you?

“That’s enough of that, can’t make you feel too good.” he winked as he started fucking you again, bringing you right to the brink of an orgasm.

“Fuck Lando, you’re gonna make me cum.” He grabbed your throat.

“I’m gonna cum too. Look at me baby, I want us to remember exactly what we’re doing to each other.”

You never broke eye contact as you both lost control, his forehead pressed against yours as loud moans filled the room.

“That might be the only good idea you’ve ever had.” you laughed as he cleaned you both off.

“Of course that’s what you say right after I fucked the shit out of you.”

#f1 smut #lando norris smut #lando norris one shot #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #lando norris angst #lando norris imagine

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 7 months

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oml hiiii, i rushed here immediately when i saw your requests are open ive been in love with the idea of maybe ghost having a teenage niece (his older brothers daughter) who he basically raised when he wasn't on duty but like none of the 141 knows about it because he keeps her a secret. He's basically her father at this point cause the rest of the family was murdered when she was only a baby. Anyways, you can do whatever you want with this prompt or not if you don't want to. But like I can totally just imagine Soap just seeing them in a Tescos and absolutely losing his shit when seeing a teenager swinging from his Lieutenants arm.

if you choose not to do this prompt that's completely fine!!! thank you!!!

—Sole Survivor

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [Your father died years ago, and so you fall under the stiff, and unyielding, protection of your Uncle Simon. But it's not all bad. He can be funny when he wants to be.] ❞

When you were the only one to live, the sole survivor of that massacre, Simon knew he was in trouble.

He’d found you under the bed. The blood was still congealing over the wooden floors—whoever put you there, Tommy, his mother, Beth, or even his nephew, was all a mystery that no one would ever know the answer to. Yet, the larger question was how you, a baby, had managed to stay silent through it all.

Simon had picked you up with panicked breath and tears in his eyes as the sirens of the police had gotten closer, holding you to him as you blinked awake and yawned. The bodies of his family were strewn around the floor, broken and bent; murdered. But you. Little you.

Alive.

It would be best to leave you to be found by the authorities. To go somewhere far away from him and the future that was now stained into his soul—the pact of revenge and horror that would live through him like a brand. It was the right thing to do; the correct thing.

And then he remembers his mother’s eyes, and he’s already rushing to the back window while cradling your squirming body. The rest, of course, passed as the flow of time always did.

“I’m thinking we should have steak,” your voice pipes up as Simon grabs a bag of crisps from the shelf. Brown eyes blink down at you, balaclava tight to this face.

“You have steak money?” You were a teenager now, older and figuring life out one day at a time. He hadn’t told you the whole story, and he won’t until much later, but you know enough to a point that you were comfortable with.

You know your family loved you.

“You’re the one with the job,” he huffs at you as you utter under your breath.

“Exactly,” Simon grunts. “Eatin’ me out of house and home like I never feed you.”

“I,” you point a finger into the air, “am growing. Soon I’ll be just as tall as you, y’know that? I’ll be towering over everyone and giving them that same dead-eyed look that—” brown orbs level with you, unimpressed. You beam, punching his shoulder. “See! That one!”

“Fuckin’ piss off, would you?” Simon grumbles, moving down to the next aisle in his large and darkly-clothed glory. Your laugh trails after him, feet heavy on his heels. “Givin’ me a headache.”

You both walk around the Tesco, Simon getting strange looks while a beaming teenager walks beside him talking about supper, class, and anything in between. He offered short responses, sometimes sarcastic and sometimes serious—it depended, but the point was that he did answer you, no matter how pointless the conversation.

“I think I’m going to join a club this year,” you speak as you gaze at the items your Uncle puts in his basket. A gaze side-eyes you slowly.

“What, then?”

“I don’t know,” you hum, shoulder bumping into his arm and tilting your head. “Were you in any clubs?”

He grunts, shaking his head before a hand descends to your hair, ruffling it as you hiss in annoyance. “Never had time.” Simon hadn’t told you about his father or what he had done, and God help him if he ever uttered a word about it. That wasn’t something that mattered in your story, just his…he’d never place that weight on you willingly.

You frown as your uncle's arm loops your shoulders casually, keeping you to him as other people walk past you. Brown filters over posture and facial expressions—looking for the barest hint of ill-intent. When there’s nothing, and the forms move around you as easily as they had come, Simon’s attention leaves, and he continues on as if nothing had happened.

“Try Debate.” Your face turns to him, curious.

“Debate?” His eyes twinkle, and behind his face covering you immediately find the tell-tale twitch of a smirk.

“Argue so bloody well you could convince a rookie that a P890 can hold 10 rounds.”

You fight the shocked smile that pulls at your lips. “I don’t know if I should be offended or not.” Eyes swirl, and a hand squeezes your arm; jostling you slightly.

“It’s a compliment.”

“You’ve always been shit at those.” You get a firm glare and a grunt from above.

“Fuckin’ language.” Your lips mock his response, making fun of him before he sends a flick of his thumb and forefinger into your temple.

“Hey!” Simon chuckles lowly, walking closer to the front of the store to get ready to pay as you mutter. “Jerk.”

It was a surprise though, that when you had barreled onto your Uncle’s back for an impromptu piggyback ride as payback—which the man didn’t even flinch at, already used to your antics—that the wide eyes of a man with a mohawk met yours. Your head is atop your Uncles, resting there as the lady at the front gives you strange looks from behind the register as Simon places the items in front of her.

He was gobsmacked, this stranger with his hair all done up like that, and your eyes blink at the display of tags around his neck that mirror your guardians. Broad, yet not so like Simon, and muscled, also, not as much as Simon.

“Unc?” You ask, and the man below you hums in question, pulling out notes from his wallet absentmindedly. “Who’s the guy with the mohawk?”

Simon tenses under you, fingers freezing.

“With the what?” It wasn’t really shocking that no one knew about you besides Price—and the only reason he knew was that in the event something happened to him, Simon had made the Captain swear that you would be taken care of.

Imagine his horror when his brown eyes darted up only to find them meeting the cobalt blues of his Sergeant, the Scot's hand outstretched to a box of pancake mix with a pack of Irn Bru in the other.

There’s an immediate sinking feeling in Simon’s chest when Johnny awkwardly tips his fingers in a shocked greeting—eyes flashing up to your curious face before he thins his lips and blinks.

You wave enthusiastically back.

“Oh, bloody fuckin’ hell.”

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nope-body · 2 years

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#how did I manage to get stuck with a roommate who is like respectability politics progressive?#it seems like the only people at this school who don’t prioritize respectability over actual social change are the students #who respectability politics has deemed not respectable enough #which makes sense why those people know it’s bullshit but this college is supposed to encourage critical thinking!#I guess I hoped that there would be some other people who realize respectability politics is bullshit #but like. this is a school full of rich white kids #and yes my family is well off but there’s a difference between the level of wealth my parents have and how rich these kids are #like. so many private school kids. so many boarding school kids.#like you see the numbers but it doesn’t really hit you until you experience it #and then there’s the few working class kids here on scholarships because there’s no way to afford this college otherwise #but just. why did I have to get stuck with a roommate who participates in respectability politics #and isn’t quite one of those capital V vegetarians but is very close #and is also just. I don’t know. nice but not kind #like I’m not saying you have to participate in activism or whatever but if you disagree with it because it’s disruptive or with graffiti #because it means an underpaid worker is going to have to clean it up and don’t think that maybe the real issue is that the worker #is underpaid?#then I’m not going to get along with you very well #and like it’s cool that we’re both Jewish but she is very much ‘reconstructionist is better because it had a more progressive history’#and that gets tiring so fast especially when she disagrees with the actual actions towards social change happening around her right now!!#also she eats so much granola and never vacuums #and if we’re heading out together she will not actually leave with me because she will take the stairs and I need the elevator #even if we were having a conversation!#and me talking about inaccessibility irritates her because I guess I talk about it too much or she just won’t listen to me if she decides #she isn’t interested. no matter the topic! and like if you told me that you weren’t going to be able to listen sure! but if I’ve been #talking to you and look back to see you have just completely started ignoring me? she preaches respectability politics but isn’t polite!#i engage in her conversations even if I don’t really care because that’s how you make interpersonal connections #and I’m trying to share my interests with her but she just truly doesn’t care about me #and it’s just so frustrating because it’s like my parents all over again where I’m trying to connect and care about someone and have them #care about me and I’m just continuously hit with rejection #and like I would love to be open about this but it’s just so much and I don’t have the emotional energy to try to fix everything

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jaeyunverse · 1 year

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the perks of having a hot best friend

pairing: lee jeno x fem!reader

genres: fluff, crack, mild angst, best friends to lovers, college au

wc: 14336

warnings: profanity, sexual jokes, jeno is shirtless in a scene phew, too many idol features SORRY i lowk lost track of who i’ve included. i think that is all but lmk if you find something else!

summary: having a hot best friend is nice until you start getting butterflies in your stomach every single time you look at them.

note: JAEYUNVERSE COMEBACK WOOO i’ve missed writing long fics so much omfg but i’m shitting bricks as we speak LOL it’s been a while since i’ve posted something big and i won’t lie i’m hella nervous. i rlly hope you guys enjoy this fic ♡ please don’t hesitate to give me your feedback! here’s to hoping my writing skills haven’t become as rusty as i think i have hehe :’))

masterlist

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐒 !

01. an abundance of freebies and discounts

Lee Jeno knew the power his smile held.

All it took was one flirty laugh combined with those sleepy eyes of his for people to melt. Being the resourceful person you were, you utilised that talent of his to its full extent.

“Can you go and flirt with the cashier so she gives us a free muffin?”

Your best friend gave you a dirty look. “You do realise this is supposed to be your treat, right?”

“I am paying!” you exclaimed. “Just go do your thing and make her feel generous enough to slip a free dessert in our order.”

Jeno rolled his eyes, but you knew you’d won. You almost always did. “Fine, whatever. You owe me one though.”

“I’m feeding you because I owe you one,” you pointed out. “This makes us equal.”

“How riveting. I have to work so the person who owes me doesn’t have to owe me anymore.”

“We can argue about this for hours or you can haul ass to the counter and place the damn order. I’ll Venmo you the money the moment you’re back,” you promised.

Sliding out of the booth, Jeno said, “You’re lucky you’re cute. If this were Jaemin, I wouldn’t be letting him off the hook easily.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and shooed him away. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along.

“Hey!” you cried. “Don’t take me with you! The flirting won’t have any effect on her if she thinks we’re together!”

“Everyone thinks we’re together,” Jeno muttered and got in line behind an old man. “She checked me out when we entered the cafe, saw you arm-in-arm with me and gave you the dirtiest look to ever exist.”

You snorted. “Liar. You might be an eye candy but you do not command such a high level of attention.”

“I’m telling the truth!” he argued. “I would know because I was checking out the drink she placed on the counter. I was trying to figure out what the person’s order might have been to get something so incredibly delicious-looking. I saw her out of the corner of my eye.”

“Oh.” You frowned and took a step forward when the line moved ahead. “That’s unfortunate. Should we go to another cafe and try our hand at getting something free there?”

“How about you stop being such a cheap skate for once?”

Slapping his shoulder hard, you grumbled, “I have to bear the weight of my goddamn rent alone while you share yours with three others! I need to cut down on certain things, asshole.”

“My offer to move in with you next semester still stands.” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m a really good housemate; ask the others.”

“You live with boys. The disgusting things you do don’t bother them because they do them too.”

He closed his mouth and thought about it for a second. Then, “Touché.”

You rolled your eyes, but before you could make another snarky comment, a pleasant voice interrupted, “Good morning. What can I get for you today?”

Jeno averted his gaze to the girl standing behind the counter and let a lazy smile take form on his lips. You raised a brow and watched in amusement.

“Hey there. Can I get a Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino with 1 pump caramel syrup, 1 pump hazelnut syrup, and 1 pump toffee-nut syrup? Java chips too, please.”

The girl—Lia, according to her name tag—looked surprised to see him blatantly flirting with you right beside him. Maybe he was right about every stranger assuming the two of you to be together, though you couldn’t fathom why. “O—okay.”

“What do you want, friend?” Jeno stressed the last word. Refraining to roll your eyes a second time, you said,

“Iced coffee without milk. Could you add some sugar to the brew? I prefer my drinks to be sweet.”

“Of course,” she said and nodded once, unfazed even after learning of Jeno’s status as an eligible bachelor.

Snorting under your breath, you whispered to him, “Lia doesn’t give a fuck. You’re lacking.”

He scoffed and nudged you away. “No, I’m not,” he whisper-snapped. “Get out of here. You’re killing my vibe.”

You deadpanned and gave him a don’t-bullshit-me look but retreated to your booth nonetheless. The last thing you heard Lia ask was: “Anything else?”

You’d only been sitting and scrolling through your phone for a few minutes before a hand slapped a receipt on the table in front of you.

Glancing up, you inquired, “What?”

“Read the order.”

Dropping your gaze to the piece of paper again, you picked it up. An appreciative frown tugged at your lips as Jeno slid into his seat. “You managed to get us a free muffin and a free bagel?”

“Don’t ever question my talents again,” he ordered and leaned back. Resting his arm on the cushion behind him and placing his ankle on his knee, his attitude was nothing short of a king’s. “I won’t tolerate any further slander.”

“Uh-huh,” you muttered, utterly unimpressed. Though you admit, a smile threatened to break out on your face and you had to bite your lip to keep it from escaping.

Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. All you did was stare at him, and when he realised you wouldn’t budge, he did an extremely horrible and high-pitched imitation of you that should have deserved jail. “Thank you sooooooo much, Jeno! If it weren’t for your flirting skills, I wouldn’t have anything to eat. You’re my one and only saviour, and I don’t know what I would have done without—”

“Order for Jeno!” Lia hollered.

Said-boy flinched and clutched his heart with his hand. “What the… That was quick.” Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to you, the tips of his ears red and his face flushed. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. Venmo me the bill amount.”

You snickered and watched him get up. However, before he could move out of earshot, you called his name. “Thank you for your service.”

Jeno glanced at you over his shoulder and did nothing but observe you for a moment. Then, a lopsided grin took form on his lips and he mock saluted.

“You’re welcome.”

02. gives good boy advice

“What are you doing here?”

Pushing past you, Jeno strolled into your living room and plopped down on your sofa. “Is that any way to greet your best friend?”

You rolled your eyes and closed the front door. Sitting down beside him, you placed your laptop on your lap again and resumed going through your notes. “I’m being serious. Were we supposed to hang out today? Because I cannot. I still have three finals left.”

“No, we didn’t have any plans today,” he said, peering over your shoulder to check what subject you were studying. It was Economics. Horrible memories from the previous semester resurfaced and he shuddered before continuing, “Your text said you wanted to talk about something important?”

You paused and glanced at him. “So you came over?”

“Do you want me to leave?” Jeno frowned. “I thought it would be better to talk in person.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Eyes widening, you grabbed his wrist and forced him back to his original position. “That’s not what I meant! I do want to talk to you but—it’s weird. I don’t feel like dealing with whatever has happened right now and I’m getting second thoughts about asking you for advice.”

Concern seeped into Jeno’s face. “Woah, are you okay? You don’t have to explain anything right now. Just tell me one thing: do I need to beat anyone up? I’ve got a few gym buddies who are ripped.”

You huffed a laugh and placed your laptop on the coffee table. Crossing your legs, you turned to face him. Upon watching you get comfortable, your best friend rolled his shoulders back and did the same thing.

“Before I say anything, I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me. Or call me an idiot.”

“I won’t,” he answered immediately, though he wondered what issue warranted you to require his word.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “YangYang asked me out a few days ago. I’ve always liked him, but not in a way that’s not platonic. I fucked up and instead of rejecting him right there, I asked him for some time to think it over and kinda led him to believe that I would say yes.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “How?”

“I told him he’s my type,” you mumbled, cringing at the memories that came rushing back.

“What?!” he exclaimed. “How the hell did you manage to do that?”

“I don’t know!” you whined and buried your face in your hands. “He came up to me when I was in the library and asked if we could talk! I didn’t know he was going to drop such a bomb on me so I said yes. Then he started talking about how he’s always cherished our friendship and how he’s so glad to have me.

“I started suspecting where his train of thought was headed when he added a but to his sentence. He said he’s liked me for a while now and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. I was flabbergasted once he was done! I’ve always viewed him as a good friend and I didn’t want to just turn his heart down!”

“So you told him he was your type?” Jeno asked incredulously. “I know I promised to not call you an idiot but you’re really fucking stupid, Y/N! It’s going to be hella awkward when the group meets up!”

You groaned and closed your eyes shut, letting yourself fall on your back. “That’s not even the worst part.”

Jeno grabbed your wrists and hauled you back up. His face was barely a few inches away from yours when he ordered, “Explain.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I told YangYang that he was cute and my type but I wasn’t in a position to think about going out with anyone with still two weeks of finals left to get through. I thought he would drop it but he asked me if I would think about his confession after our exams and I felt terrible telling him the truth. So I said I would. Yeji called me last night and said she set me up on a blind date with this guy in her class. You know how fast word spreads here. YangYang is going to know I dangled him on strings only to go on a date with someone else!”

“You’re going on a blind date? With whom?”

You flicked Jeno’s forehead. “That’s not the issue!”

“Well, I want to know!” he sputtered and slapped your hand away.

“I don’t know! Frankly, I don’t care either. I made a bet with Yeji and I lost. Now I have to spend an evening with a random guy I don’t even want to seek a romantic relationship with.”

Your best friend sighed in frustration. “This might be one of your biggest fuck-ups till now.”

“I know,” you said quietly and dropped your gaze to your lap in shame.

“You’ll have to apologise to YangYang and tell him the truth. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“I know.”

“Hey,” Jeno said softly. You glanced at him to see he’d gotten up and was holding his out for you. “Come here.”

You rose to your feet and let him envelop you in his comforting embrace. Burying your face in his chest, you whispered, “I never wanted to hurt YangYang. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

“You won’t as long as you come clean and explain everything. Don’t insult him further by giving him more half-truths. Guys would rather know what’s the real deal than be lied to and find out from someone else. Not only is it hurtful, but it’s a huge blow to the ego.”

Your lips curled in a small smile and you leaned back a little to look at his face. “Is this about your mom lying to you about the tooth fairy?”

“Damn right it is,” he grumbled. “I gave an entire speech about her being my favourite person in the whole world. That’s not something you recover from easily.”

“It’s been 15 years.”

“It’ll take me another 15 to come to terms with the fact that I used to rip my loose teeth out and place them under my pillow when I needed money urgently.”

You laughed and pulled yourself out of his arms. “I can’t believe I’m taking guy advice from you.”

“Why?” Jeno exclaimed. “I’m a guy too! Plus, I always give good advice!”

You giggled and plopped down on the sofa again. “I know. But you’re also Jeno. I’ve never thought of you as just a guy.”

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

“How about you sit your ass down and help me study now that you’re here? I made flash cards.”

Snatching the stack from your hand, Jeno teased, “Oh, how would you survive without me?”

“I don’t have to wonder about that shit.” You grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me anytime soon.”

He laughed. “And thank fuck for that.”

03. hugs always make you feel safe thanks to all the beef underneath

You were going to drag Jeno to the seventh circle of Hell.

You couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping with him when you had a huge exam the next day. You hadn’t studied shit and were one “have you prepared for tomorrow’s final?” away from a mental breakdown.

It didn’t help that Yeji had called you in the middle of the night to clear a doubt she had from a chapter you didn’t even know had been covered.

You’d been panicking ever since and it felt like you were going to get a heart attack at any moment.

“Doritos or Lays?”

“Kick to the nuts or knuckles to the jaw?”

Your best friend tore his gaze from the rack of chips and eyed you warily. “I said I’ll help you study tonight.”

“You don’t understand, Jeno!” you exclaimed and ran a hand through your messy hair, pacing in the supermarket aisle impatiently. “I’m going to fail! Fail!”

Groaning, Jeno grabbed your arm and forced you to face him. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, enunciating each word as he reiterated, “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to pull an all-nighter in the library, but we need to be stocked up on food before we do that.”

You sighed painfully. It burned your eyes to just focus on anything—how the hell were you supposed to stay awake for another day and write a three-hour-long exam after that?

“You could have come here without dragging me with you,” you muttered. “I could have been studying at home instead of wasting precious time.”

Jeno frowned. “Any more time in front of your laptop and you would have gone insane, Y/N. Your eyes are completely red.”

“Oh, that’s not because of the screen time. I cried before you came to check on me.”

Huffing a small laugh that bordered on exasperation, amusement and worry, Jeno threw a few packets of Doritos in the shopping cart before slinging an arm around your neck. You let him pull you against him and wrapped your arms around his waist as the two of you began walking.

“Well, you needed to get out anyway. I don’t remember the last time I saw you leave your apartment.”

“I stepped outside yesterday to play with the neighbour’s cat,” you said defensively.

“Not good enough,” Jeno popped. “We’re going to go get a massage once we’re done shopping.”

You stopped in your tracks and peeled yourself away from him. “The final is in twenty-eight hours!” you yelled, staring at him incredulously. “Are you fucking stupid?!”

“So you have plenty of time to de-stress before you start studying again!” he chirped, paying no heed to your concerns nor the people who had heard your outburst and were giving you odd looks. “Trust me, I went for a massage before my final and I was so relaxed. It helped me to focus too.”

“Jeno,” you uttered his name with barely contained impatience. “I don’t have time. I need to cover a lot of shit before I go and sit in the fucking examination hall.”

“And I said I’ll help!” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated. Pushing the shopping cart forward again, he studied the shelves and continued, “You always do this, Y/N. You freak out before a test and act like the world is ending only for you to do super well.”

“Well—” you began, stumbling after him— “that’s just my coping mechanism! The more worried I am, the better I do. But I’m screwed for real this time!”

“No,” Jeno popped, placing a 2-litre bottle of Sprite in the cart. “I’m not listening to you this time. Especially not after you stayed awake for three days straight for your midterm.”

You sighed again. There was no arguing with your best friend. “How long is this massage of yours going to take?”

“We’ll be back at your place in two hours max,” he reassured you, patting your head. You swatted his hand away and gave him a dirty look. “I think we have everything we need to make it through today and tomorrow.”

“Why do we need such a big bottle of Sprite?”

“Party at my place this weekend. There’s a discount so I’m buying in advance.”

You frowned. “Shouldn’t you be stocking up on booze?”

“The guys said I have an alcohol addiction,” Jeno said, getting in line at the billing counter. “Which is, like, totally untrue but you know I never back down from a challenge. I’m going to prove them wrong by staying sober for two weeks.”

“Sure,” you snorted. “You’ll just find lame loopholes or cheat when no one’s looking.”

A sly grin took form on Jeno’s lips. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and drawled, “I know what you do when no one’s looking.”

“Really?” You feigned a gasp. “You know I sneak over to your house and steal your food when you’re not there?”

His smile dropped immediately. “Wait, what? That’s you? Not Hyuck?”

“The food thief is me but the one stealing your sheet masks is Hyuck,” you admitted.

“He steals my masks?! The ones I buy are expensive as fuck!” Jeno exclaimed, betrayal seeping into his features. His hands fell to his side and his eyes turned distant. “I can’t believe he’s been gaslighting me into thinking I do an extra round of skincare when I’m drunk.”

You giggled and pushed the shopping cart forward once the person in front of you was done. Placing the contents on the billing counter for the cashier to scan, you revealed, “Hyuck saw me raiding your pantry when you were at the gym. He used that as leverage against me for weeks before I saw him stealing your sheet masks and was able to finally strike a deal—he turns a blind eye to my robberies and I turn a blind eye to his.”

“Why’d you team up with him?” Jeno pouted. “I thought we were best friends.”

You laughed incredulously. “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on? Not the part where Hyuck and I used your stuff without asking?”

“Well, yeah, I’m pissed you used my shit. But I guess I’m just a little more bothered that you guys teamed up,” Jeno said and shrugged, fetching his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Because, you know, coming together to make people suffer has always been our thing.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by how he was beating around the bush. “Are you saying you wanna team up with me to get back at Hyuck?”

Jeno grinned. “I’m gonna screw over that motherfucker so bad. You get off the hook, though, because you’re cute and I need your help.”

“You’re impossible.” You huffed and shook your head. Taking the bag of groceries, you said to him, “Text me my share and I’ll Venmo the money to you.”

“You could buy me an ice cream instead.”

“No,” you denied immediately. “We’re not wasting time on ice cream. Massage and then straight home so I can pick up my study material and we can leave for the library.”

Thankfully, Jeno didn’t protest. He drove you to your apartment complex and waited for you while you packed your bag. Then, the two of you were off to the massage place.

An hour later, you were done and forced to admit that the massage had indeed helped you. It felt like all the stress had left your body. Thinking about the final didn’t make you want to cry anymore and things were actually looking up now that you were rested.

You were able to retain the knowledge better and it was easier to understand the concepts. Jeno quizzed you and provided you with an endless supply of coffee throughout the night.

Right before lunch the next day, however, the panic resurfaced as you were revising your syllabus for the last time before your final at 3. You couldn’t seem to remember anything you had studied the previous night.

You could feel another breakdown coming, but before you could hyperventilate, Jeno scooped you up in his arms.

You hadn’t even realised when he’d come back from picking up your food. One minute, you were trying to control your breath and the next, your face was buried in his hard chest.

You held onto his shirt as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and he rocked you from side to side.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “You’re gonna ace the final like you always do. You were able to answer all the quiz questions, so keep in mind that you are prepared. The pre-exam anxiety is just clouding your thoughts. Everything’s gonna come back to you when you sit down to write, alright?”

Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and bit down on your lip to keep a sob from escaping. Jeno’s presence kept acting like a tether for you. It always had.

Maybe he was right about the final. Maybe he wasn’t. But at that moment, engulfed in his warm, safe embrace, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 !

01. having to deal with a narcissistic asshole.

It was an especially sweltering day.

You were being baked inside-out despite wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, your hair tied in a messy high bun. Adding to your torment was your broken A/C. You’d requested your landlord to fix it several times but your efforts were to no avail.

You would have kept bothering him incessantly and gotten the job done if you weren’t so intimidated by him already.

Sighing, you eyed your bathroom. A cold shower sounded like an amazing idea. Jeno wasn’t supposed to come over to watch the movie for a while anyway.

Deciding to cool yourself and get rid of the sweat sticking to your body, you entered the tiny bathroom. A high-pitched squeal left your mouth the moment you turned the shower knob and the cold water hit your skin.

“Fuck,” you cursed and flinched, turning the knob the other way immediately. Your shitty apartment didn’t even have a valve to adjust the temperature—the water was either mildly hot or ice cold. Showering in summer was always a big problem.

“God, I don’t wanna keep doing this,” you mumbled to yourself and stepped into your room again.

There was this… thing you’d been doing ever since you moved into this apartment. Whenever it was hot, you’d work out so you’d get more sweaty. That way, when you showered under the ice-cold water, it didn’t feel as unbearable.

It was weird and there probably was no science behind it, but you didn’t care as long as it worked.

So, you rolled out your yoga mat on the floor and began warming up.

Within no time, your skin was glistening with sweat and your hair was damp. You were struggling to complete the last push-up of your final set when someone knocked on your door, causing you to lose your focus. Your arms gave out beneath you, and you collapsed to the ground.

“Woah, it’s boiling in here,” Jeno pointed out intelligently. “And you look like you’re one move away from dying. God, I can’t even breathe Why the fuck are you working out with the windows closed? Are you stupid?”

Groaning, you rolled on your back and watched your best friend as he moved to the windows and threw them open. “Hey!” you protested weakly and raised a trembling arm in a pathetic attempt to stop him. “I’m trying to do something!”

Jeno raised an eyebrow at you and grabbed your hand, hauling you up effortlessly. “Oh, yeah? Pray tell.”

You crashed into his chest and rebounded, but he tightened his hold on you. His palm hovered over your back in case you lost your balance. Steadying yourself, you glared at him and snapped, “No. You’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I won’t!” Jeno laughed, his eyes crinkling.

“Stop, you’re doing it already!”

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. I really do wanna know what you were doing.”

You eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to slip up and start laughing again. But Jeno’s face remained mildly curious. Satisfied, you explained, “Well, because I was feeling hot, I decided to take a shower. The water here is very cold, though, so I decided to work out in a closed room because that would make me even hotter. If I get in the shower now, it wouldn’t feel as cold because my body temperature has already increased, and the water would be sort of neutralised.”

A beat of silence passed. And then, “I know I said I wouldn’t make fun of you—”

“Then stop talking.”

“But did you not realise you could have mixed the hot and cold water in a bucket?” Jeno continued, clearly still talking. “Or, I don’t know, come over to my place to shower?”

“You live with three other men.” You deadpanned. “I was not going to shower in your apartment with Jaemin, Renjun and Hyuck there. Also, I don’t have a big enough bucket, so I will be buying one today,” you added, muttering the last bit.

Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, Y/N, I would have kicked the guys out.”

“What makes you think they would have listened to you?” you asked amusedly.

“Okay, true,” he agreed. “They would have listened to you, though. If there’s anyone who’s bossy enough to get them out of the house on a hot Sunday afternoon, it’s you.”

“Are you calling me bossy?”

“Are you going to shower now?” he deflected. “You stink.”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed and slapped his shoulder hard, but laughed nonetheless. Moving away from him, you kicked him off your yoga mat and said, “You opened the windows and interrupted my workout, so I don’t feel as hot anymore. I think I’m gonna exercise a little more so I don’t die of hypothermia in the shower. You can take my laptop and choose a movie till then if you want.”

“How about I work out with you?” Jeno suggested. “We can have our gym bros moment.”

“I don’t wanna have a gym bros moment with you.”

“Why?” he whined.

Flicking his forehead, you said, “Because I know you’re gonna turn this into a competition, and I’m not in the mood.”

“Scared?”

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I’m tired from all the working out I did before you came, and I’m not going against you when you have that advantage over me.”

“That still means you’re scared. Pussy.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you got into the position for a plank. “Get out if you’re going to keep being annoying and not contribute shit to our gym bros moment.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Jeno replied smugly. You practically heard the grin in his voice when he said that.

You closed your eyes and laboured your breathing as you felt your abdomen begin to burn almost immediately. “Had to, or I knew you’d keep irritating me.”

Opening your lids, you turned your neck to see if he was doing the exercise with you.

Your arms gave out the moment you saw Jeno shirtless, his bulging biceps on full display.

“Damn, you lost quicker than I thought,” he commented.

“Why are you naked?!” you demanded in a shrill voice.

Still in position, Jeno only glanced at you like you were out of your mind. “I was wearing a hoodie, Y/N. Did you expect me to do a plank in that furnace?”

“Yeah!” you exclaimed. To your dismay, your eyes kept drifting to his well-defined muscles no matter how much you tried to focus on his face.

To make things worse, Jeno noticed. And smirked. “Stop complaining if you’re enjoying the view so much. It’s okay to admit you have a hot best friend.”

Flustered, you scrambled to your feet and looked at the ceiling. God, you felt like a stupid middle schooler. It was insane how much of an effect Jeno was having on you. What was weirder was that your mind was drifting to places it had never been before. At least where your best friend was concerned.

“Narcissus has nothing on you,” you muttered under your breath, and tried to gather your bearings.

“Besides,” Jeno continued, having not heard you. “I do send you pictures sometimes. I don’t know why you’re acting like you’ve never seen me like this.”

“Your phone’s camera is fucked, Jeno,” you grumbled. “The photos you texted me didn’t capture half of what’s actually there.”

No matter what you hadn’t seen, you’d felt whenever you hugged each other. It didn’t take away your surprise upon seeing the 2440p quality visual though.

“Is that disappointment I hear?” he taunted.

“No!” you exclaimed and finally looked at him again. At the sight of his working muscles, you muttered, “Can we stop now? You won.”

“Ah!” Jeno dragged the word as if he had just stumbled upon a revelation. “You want me to stand up so you can get a better view of my abs? Got it.”

Your eyes widened, and before you could deny his ridiculous accusations, he was towering over you. Wiggling his eyebrows, he gestured towards himself and flexed dramatically.

“You’re an idiot,” you huffed, unable to help yourself.

“Yeah? Then I guess an idiot just managed to fluster the shit out of you.” Jeno smiled and ruffled your hair. Bending, he picked up his discarded hoodie and shrugged it back on. “I’ll go and get you a bathing bucket from the supermarket around the corner. Don’t freeze yourself to death.”

You rolled your eyes. “I won’t.”

“Also, do you remember the shirt I forgot here all those months ago after I got wet in the rain? Can you find it so I can change into it when I’m back?” He frowned and looked at himself. “I’ll eventually toast myself if I watch the movie in my hoodie.”

“Sure, but you’re stupid for wearing warm clothes in summer,” you commented.

Jeno gave you a dirty look. “Sorry for assuming your A/C was in working condition. Besides, you always want to cuddle when we watch movies, so I figured you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing a hoodie.”

Your cheeks warmed at that, your heart stumbling a beat. What was wrong with you? You’d always known Jeno was caring and went out of his way to do nice things for you.

Typically, you’d have felt grateful for how thoughtful he was being.

Now, though, you felt that and… something else that you didn’t really want to acknowledge.

“Whatever,” you said instead, trying to sound dismissive. Pushing him out of your room, you continued, “I’ll find it. Just hurry up with the bucket.”

A few minutes after Jeno was gone, a notification popped up on your phone.

[jeno]: clearer picture that i clicked on jaemin’s phone for your viewing pleasure :”)

You blinked in confusion and opened the photo that was attached below, your eyes widening the moment you saw it. It was a zoomed-in gym mirror selfie of Jeno wearing nothing but sweatpants and shoes, his muscular abdomen on full display.

[you]: did you crop jaemin?

[jeno]: ???? [jeno]: wdym……. [you]: the photo’s dimensions are weird [jeno]: oh [jeno]: what the fuck [you]: LMFAOOO [jeno]: STOP I DIDN’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT HIM INSTEAD OF ME I’VE GOT A BETTER BODY ANYWAY AND I’M GONNA BUY A NEW PHONE SO I CAN SEND YOU CLEARER PICS WITHOUT HAVING TO CROP THAT FUCKER OUT

You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling too wide. Right before you were about to type a reply, you received another text from your best friend.

[jeno]: so are you gonna tell me what you think [you]: FINE you’re hot. [you]: happy? [jeno]: euphoric

Finally laughing out loud, you shook your head.

Narcissus had nothing on Jeno indeed.

02. female friends ask you to be their wingwoman

You didn’t think you’d ever accompanied Jeno to a party without having someone ask you to set them up with him.

“Please,” Yoo Jimin begged for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Yeji said he was single!”

Sighing, you mentally cursed Yeji for inviting Jimin to Jeno’s party. “He is, but I’m not setting you up with him.”

“Why?” Jimin demanded rather aggressively, making you wonder what it would take for her to quit nagging you. “Do you like him or something?”

It took a concerning amount of effort for you to refrain from rolling your eyes. “I do not.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I don’t know, Jimin!” you finally burst and gestured at your surroundings. “Maybe I’m not too keen on helping you out because you followed me into the washroom and cornered me! Maybe I feel used because you’ve never shown much interest in me even though I’ve tried striking up a conversation with you several times before!”

Jimin’s features softened, and she looked away. “You’re right,” she muttered, guilt and shame evident in her voice. “I’m sorry for jumping on you like that.”

You immediately felt bad for snapping at her. Pursing your lips, you tried to cheer her up. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need me to set you up with him anyway. I know we haven’t hung out much, but based on what I’ve heard about you from Yeji, you’re smart, funny and social. You have no reason to be nervous while approaching Jeno.”

For some reason, you regretted encouraging Jimin to pursue your best friend. A gaping hole formed in your heart, and you wished she would go for someone else instead.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jimin smiled gratefully. “I know I’ve been a shitty person, but could you give me another chance? I’d really like to get to know you more.”

And just like that, the hollowness in your chest was gone. You gave her a genuine smile of your own and said, “I gotta pee right now, but does lunch tomorrow work for you?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot where we were.” Rubbing the nape of her neck sheepishly, she replied, “Lunch works. I’ll text you tonight so we can talk about it.”

The two of you exchanged your goodbyes, and then she was gone. A few minutes later, you exited the washroom as well and headed back to the party.

“I missed you,” a voice slurred in your ear. Arms circled around your waist, and a face buried itself into the crook of your neck.

You laughed. “You failed the challenge, Jeno.”

“Where were you?” he demanded in an almost whiny tone. “It’s your fault! I wouldn’t have lost at beer pong if you’d been playing with me.”

Patting Jeno’s back in consolation, you replied, “I’m sorry you have zero self-control and commit to things you know you won’t be able to do.”

Jeno peeled himself away from you and pouted. “You’re mean.”

“Thanks. Let’s get wasted together,” you said, but then added upon looking at his already tipsy condition, “Or I can get wasted, and your ass can keep me company.”

“Don’t you think one of us should be sober?” Jeno asked as you pulled him along.

“I’m not gonna hold back from drinking!” you exclaimed. “Let me remind you that you were supposed to be the sober one today and make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I’m blaming you if I get naked in the yard.”

Thanks to the music that was gradually getting louder as you approached the main party area, you didn’t hear your best friend’s response. You tightened your grip on his hand when the crowd thickened. Wading your way through the dancing throng, you finally reached the table lined with alcohol and food.

You chose a bottle of Romanov and popped it open, drinking straight from it. You’d barely taken a few gulps when Jeno snatched it from you and put it to his own mouth.

Throwing him a dirty look, you picked up another bottle for yourself. “Do you wanna dance?”

“I wanna throw up.”

“Suit yourself.” You shrugged and aimed for the dance floor. A smile crept on your face upon seeing Jaemin; you were not in the mood to dance alone.

“Y/N!” he hollered when he noticed you. Stumbling towards you, he pulled you in a quick embrace. “I haven’t seen you in so long!”

“Finals!” you answered. Jaemin nodded in understanding and ran a hand through his hair, taking a swig from his beer. “Do you wanna dance?”

You grinned. “You know I do.”

The next few hours were a complete blur. The bottle in your hand was replaced by more one after the other, and when Jaemin deemed you’d had enough to drink, he gave you a red solo cup filled with water instead.

It felt good to finally unwind after the horrible few weeks you’d had. There was no academic stress weighing down on you anymore, and though you were low on sleep, you didn’t want to stop partying.

You just wished you and Jeno had gotten wasted together. While you were having fun with Jaemin, partying with Jeno was a different experience entirely.

Right as you were about to take a sip from your cup, you felt an arm being thrown around your neck. The touch was so familiar that you recognised who it was immediately.

“I missed you!” you exclaimed. Jeno looked down at you with a grin on his face, a pair of black party glasses sitting on his nose. His hair was damp and fell over his forehead. Maybe it was the liquor in your system, but you could have sworn he never looked better. “Let’s dance.”

“Dance?” Jeno laughed. “Haven’t you been doing that for the past two hours? Don’t your feet hurt?”

Frowning, you glanced at your legs. “They do!” you exclaimed, and looked back at him again, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes, you mumbled, “But I still want to dance.”

“How about we go on the roof instead? The stars look pretty tonight,” your best friend suggested, trying his best not to laugh at you. “I didn’t drink at all after you left me. I’m sober enough to take care of you now.”

Your eyes lit up at that. “Wow, that’s such a good idea! You’re so smart, Jeno. I love you.”

Jeno’s lips finally twitched up in a smile. “I love you too, silly.”

Plucking the solo cup out of your hand, he offered you an arm. You looped yours through it with a soft thank you and leaned on him as he led you upstairs.

The two of you entered his dark room, and Jeno shut the door behind him. Only when the loud music was muffled did you realise your head was throbbing.

He unhooked your arms gently and grabbed a warm blanket off his bed. Throwing open his window, he jumped out on the flat roof and looked at you expectantly.

You staggered behind Jeno and took the hand he was holding out for you. His other hand hovered over your waist as you climbed on the sill.

Thanks to the alcohol in your system, your balance was non-existent, and your legs turned to jelly the moment they made contact with the roof. Fortunately, your best friend was there to catch you.

You bumped into Jeno’s chest instead of falling to the ground. He wrapped his arms around you and steadied you, laughing a little at your antics.

“God, how much did you drink?” you heard him wonder to himself. You mumbled an incoherent response and leaned against the outside wall of his room, watching him lay the spread on the floor.

The two of you usually climbed the ladder that led to the slanting roof at the very top of the house, but you reckoned the boy in front of you didn’t want to risk taking you up there when you were so wasted.

Jeno sat down on the blanket once he was done and peeked at you over his shoulder, patting the space beside him. “Come on.”

Pushing yourself off the siding, you stumbled to him, tripping over your feet a bit. You were able to keep your balance, though, and a moment later, you found yourself lying on the blanket next to him.

Your shoulders brushed against each other, the warmth from his body seeping into you. It was summer, but the night air was still chilly, especially now that you were on the roof. You were thankful for the protection Jeno offered against the mild cold.

The music was blaring once again now that you were outside, and there were no barriers to deafen it, but the volume barely bothered you. Your eyes were on the stars, trying to identify the constellations.

“I see Orion right there,” Jeno said, pointing at the sky. You followed his finger, and sure enough, there it was. “And there’s Ursa Minor.” He moved his hand after noting that you had recognised Orion.

“I don’t see it,” you muttered, blinking heavily to clear your sight.

“Can you see Polaris?” he asked, glancing at you for a moment.

You raised your hand and pointed it at a random star that was nowhere near the one Jeno was referring to. “There.”

Jeno snorted. “You could spot Orion, but you can’t identify the brightest star in the sky?” Without waiting for a response, your best friend grabbed your arm and directed it to the right star. “That is Polaris.”

“Woah.” You gaped and lowered your arm. “It’s so shiny.”

Jeno laughed again upon hearing the child-like wonder in your voice. You stargazed often and always challenged each other to see who could identify the most constellations in a minute. He knew the night sky was familiar to you, but seeing you like this reminded Jeno of the first time he brought you to his roof and introduced you to his favourite hobby.

“Do you want it?” he teased.

Eyes widening, you turned your neck to look at him, your faces so close you could count his lashes. “Really?”

“Really,” he said and pinched your cheek, unable to help himself. “I’ll get it for you.”

A wide smile immediately broke across your lips, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you!” you squealed.

Jeno chuckled, a little surprised that you had practically climbed on top of him, and part of him was caged under you now. He didn’t mind the sudden intimacy. It had always been his love language; any sort of physical contact with you—be it comparing hand sizes or carrying you on his back—warmed his heart.

Patting your head, he asked, “You want me to show you the rest of Ursa Minor?”

“Yes.” You nodded into the crook of his neck and peeled yourself away from him, but your head still rested where his shoulder met his arm.

Brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on your face, he averted his gaze to the sky. “Polaris is the tail of The Little Dipper. Now we move towards the left. See the star that’s above the brightest? That’s Delta. Epsilon is above Delta too, but the distance between them is not as much as the distance between the first two. Zeta is below—”

You tuned Jeno out. He was still showing you the stars that made up the constellations, far too invested to notice that you were no longer paying attention to what he was saying and were looking at something much more beautiful instead.

You’d always known your best friend was attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice his striking features—they were sharp with a certain softness around the edges. His face always stood out in crowds and demanded people’s undivided attention.

Rightfully so, you thought to yourself as you admired his perfectly straight nose and the shape of his soft lips, diverting your gaze to his eyes. You’d always thought they were his best features. They were warm and open and felt like home. It deserves to be appreciated.

“Pherka, Eta, Kochab and Zeta form a—”

“You’re prettier.”

Jeno glanced at you, your faces mere inches away and those beautiful eyes peering into yours with slight confusion. “What?”

“You said the stars looked pretty tonight,” you whispered. “I think you’re prettier.” You paused for a moment, as if rethinking your words. Then, “I think you’re the prettiest person in the world.”

A fond smile crept on your best friend’s face, and maybe it was because your ear was in the vicinity of his heart, but you could have sworn you heard it thumping loudly against his ribcage. Lightly bumping his forehead against yours, Jeno whispered back,

“I think you’re the prettiest person in the world too.”

03. it’s very easy to fall for them, especially when they’re always so sweet and caring

The first thing you felt upon regaining your consciousness was pain.

Your skull was splitting apart, the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the closed curtains rendering you blind. Nausea was beginning to set in, but your body was so weak that you weren’t sure you could make it to the toilet in time.

You should have never drunk so much. Not only had you not taken any proper rest after working yourself to exhaustion during your finals, but had also danced to the point you couldn’t move your legs. Heck, you couldn’t even remember much of the party. You recalled leaving Jeno behind to party with Jaemin, but everything after that was a huge blank slate.

The toilet was far away, but you could try reaching the dustbin near the study table instead of just throwing up on the carpet. Groaning, you tried to push yourself up. When that didn’t work, you put all strength in your abdomen and threw yourself off the bed.

A shockwave of agony passing through your body rendered you immobile on the ground. You moaned in pain and curled in on yourself, covering your mouth with a hand upon tasting bile on your tongue.

The door was thrown open, and a worried Jeno gaped at you lying on his room’s hard floor motionlessly. “What the fuck?”

“Dustbin,” you croaked with much difficulty, tears springing to your eyes. They hurt so much you wanted to rip them out.

Your best friend moved into action immediately. “I kept the dustbin right beside the bed in case you got sick, you blind twat truck. Along with painkillers and water on the table.”

You found it in yourself to glare at the boy, but he ignored you. Placing the waste basket in front of you, he helped you up. You gripped the rim as he gathered your hair in his hand and held it up to avoid it getting in the way of your vomit.

Right before you emptied the toxins in your body, you managed to say to him, “How capable do I look to you right now, you stupid toe-licking grinch man?”

Jeno rolled his eyes and rubbed your back with his other hand, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once your heaving stopped, you took the tissue he was holding out for you and wiped your mouth. You felt much better after throwing up but you were still so tired.

“Come on.”

You swatted Jeno’s hand away and rested your back on his bed, tucking your legs under your chin. “Too much effort,” you muttered and closed your eyes, willing the headache to go away.

“I was going to carry you to the bed, Y/N,” he said in exasperation.

“I just need a moment,” you whispered almost incoherently, wishing he would stop asking you questions when you had no energy to answer. “A moment and an Aspirin.”

There was some shuffling, and then you felt a hand brushing your matted hair out of your face. “Here.”

You peeled your lids open to see Jeno crouched in front of you with water and the painkiller you had asked for. Taking it from his hand, you popped it into your mouth and gulped down some water.

For a few moments, you tried to regulate your breathing and calm yourself down. Jeno could tell you were gathering the willpower and strength to climb back on his bed. He wanted to help, but you clearly didn’t want it. So, he just watched you silently struggle.

He should have been with you last night; he hated that he wasn’t when he had promised to be the sober half. As far as Jeno was concerned, Jaemin was going to get an earful about keeping tabs on how much his friends drank. Never in the two years of friendship had he seen you with such a huge hangover.

“Fuck,” he heard you curse under your breath. You moaned in pain as you pushed yourself up on trembling arms and fell on his mattress. Sighing, Jeno tucked you in and pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“Sleep well,” he said and made his way to the door. “I’ll wake you up for lunch. Renjun is making grilled sandwiches.”

Your eyes flew open again. Fuck. You were supposed to meet Jimin.

“Jeno, wait,” you blurted, and he stopped in his tracks. “I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I don’t think I can make it. Can you cover for me?”

Your best friend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Which friend?”

“Jimin.”

“I thought she ghosted you.” He frowned. “Now you’re meeting her for lunch?”

“No, you are meeting her for lunch. I don’t wanna be rude and cancel at the last minute. What if she already left?”

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Well, what if she turned down other offers because of the plans we made?”

“She left an hour ago with Mark after passing out on the couch in Hyuck’s room last night. I doubt she’s had the time to turn down any other offers. Actually, I think she’ll be glad you cancelled. She looked pretty hungover when she left.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” you whined, wincing when the throbbing in your head responded to the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. “I’m only asking you for a small favour.”

“I’m not being difficult,” Jeno defended himself and took a few steps towards you. “I’m trying to tell you that you may be overthinking this. Let me send her a text from your phone asking for a reschedule, and we can have some homemade lunch with the guys.”

Sighing heavily, you averted your gaze from his and stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna blow this. I think she’s really cool and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m good friends with everyone in our social circle except her. It’s awkward.”

Jeno’s eyes softened at that. “Y/N, you’re not blowing anything. Rescheduling lunch because you both partied till you collapsed is not going to take away any points. Trust me.”

Your best friend was right. You were overthinking this, but you didn’t exactly blame yourself. All your efforts to befriend Jimin had been futile till now. You didn’t want to do anything that could mess up the friendship that had begun to bloom last night.

“Fine,” you finally relented. “Shoot her a text from my phone. I think it’s in my clothes bag—” you paused, your eyes widening. Lifting Jeno’s duvet in panic, you looked down at yourself. “Who changed my clothes?”

“Ningning did!” Jeno answered quickly, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. He couldn’t understand why he was freaking out—nothing happened.

You exhaled in relief, trying to get rid of the alien tingling feeling spreading throughout your body. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, my phone’s in my clothes bag.”

Jeno busied himself, rummaging through your backpack that was on his bedside table. What you didn’t know, however, was that it was just a front for him to calm himself down. “Got it.” He waved the phone at you. “What’s your pin?”

“Your birthday.”

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, and a seed of warmth sprouted in his chest. A dizzying sense of affection for you washed over him, drenching him in happiness from head to toe. “Really?”

You nodded and closed your eyes. Turning on your side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position, you buried yourself deeper under his sheets. Yawning, you mumbled, “Day-Month-Year with leading zeros.”

“My password is your birthday too,” he said quietly after sending Jimin the text. “A lot of them are. It’s the easiest set of numbers to remember.”

You didn’t respond. Jeno didn’t mind. He knew you’d already fallen asleep. Keeping your phone on the table, he smiled sadly and stared at your resting figure in longing. “Everything about you is so easy to remember.”

Jeno closed the door behind him as he left, none the wiser about the fact that you were still awake and had heard everything he’d said, your heart beating so fast that you thought it was going to leap out of your chest.

Your best friend left, completely unaware of the fact that you were now entertaining the possibility of being in love with him.

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 !

01. the green-eyed monster you resent makes an appearance more than you’d like

You genuinely couldn’t believe your friend group and their seemingly never-ending social battery.

One would think that after a long night of partying, a person would stay at home the next day and take some much-needed rest. Your friends, however, thought it was a good idea to meet up for dinner and decide what to do over the weekend.

You didn’t bother to remind them of the wonderful invention that was group chats.

“We should drive up to the beach,” Mark suggested, flipping through the menu. “Summer just started, so I don’t think there will be a lot of people.”

All of you were seated in a round booth at the back of a diner Chenle said he frequented. You weren’t going to lie; you could see why. The setting was very homey, and the cushioning of the sofa was very cosy—you were almost sure you were going to fall asleep even before your food arrived.

Ningning, who was sitting beside Mark, peeked over his shoulder to see what was listed. Minjeong said, “That’s stupid. The start of summer is exactly when beaches get overcrowded. Most don’t get to visit the ocean during the year, so they make a beeline for the beach as soon as break begins.”

“True,” you heard Jeno say. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the cushion behind you. You resisted the urge to lean in. Taking a sip of his water, he continued, “Besides, we’re already going to Jeju Island for a week next month. I don’t think we should drive three hours to go to the beach right now.”

“What about karaoke?” Jimin piped up. She was sitting on the other side of Minjeong, opposite from Chenle, who was on the other side of the table.

“We don’t need an entire weekend for just karaoke,” Chenle pointed out. “We could do it whenever we want.”

“Well, what about—”

“Hey, can I take your order?” a female voice that was a combination of annoyed, upbeat, friendly and polite interrupted Minjeong. The girl looked a little flustered at being cut off, but she cleared her throat and mumbled a small yeah, just give us a minute.

The waitress did not move, so all of you awkwardly picked up the menu cards and began flipping through them.

“The usual for me, Yuna,” Chenle said, smiling up at her. To diffuse the sudden tension created in the air, he began making small talk with her as she waited.

“What are you eating?” Jeno asked. He was closer to you now, his eyes scanning the contents of the menu card in your hand over your shoulder.

You shrugged. “I don’t think I’m eating anything. I’m not very hungry.”

Jeno’s eyebrows creased, and he glanced at your face in worry. “You haven’t had anything since lunch. At least drink something.”

“It’s fine.” You dismissed him with a wave of your hand and pushed the card in his direction so he could order whatever he wanted. “I won’t be able to finish anything by myself and I don’t wanna waste food.”

“How about we share?” he insisted. “You eat however much you want, and I’ll finish the rest. Don’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

An internal battle began. While Jeno’s suggestion was sensible, you knew he didn’t like to share his food with anyone. You remembered a time when he had refused to go on a second date with a girl because she kept nibbling on his meal. You didn’t want him to do something he hated just for your sake.

“Really, it’s fine,” you repeated. “You go ahead and—”

“Hey, Y/N,” Yeji called, making you divert your attention to her. “You wanna share a triple-decker chicken sandwich? Chenle said this place is famous all over town for that dish.”

You had to admit, a triple-decker chicken sandwich did sound tasty. But you’d just turned down Jeno, so you didn’t wanna say yes to Yeji. Shaking your head, you once again said, “I’m not hungry.”

“Why aren’t you hungry?” Mark frowned, overhearing your conversation. The rest of your friend group looked at you in concern. Ningning asked, “Are you okay?”

You groaned. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to everyone why you didn’t have an appetite. “I’m okay. I’m just not hungry because I had a lot for lunch.”

“That’s a lie,” Jeno commented unhelpfully, and you smacked his shoulder hard in retaliation. He winced, rubbing the area of attack. “Hey!”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, you said to everyone with as little annoyance in your voice as you could, “Please just order what you want. I still feel a little weird after last night’s party, and I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” Before anyone could reply, you added, “I’m going to the restroom. Be right back.”

Yeji looked a little stunned, but she got up from her seat and let you leave the booth when you requested her to move. Locking yourself in one of the stalls, you clutched your stomach and curled in on yourself, closing your eyes.

Your period cramps were especially painful this time. Maybe it was because of last night’s exertion, but your cycle was early too. Your stomach was in too many knots for you to even think about eating anything.

The washroom’s door opened, and you heard soft footsteps trudging towards you. Knocking on the only occupied stall’s door, a female voice asked, “Is everything okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah,” you croaked, feeling tears burning your eyes. “Everything’s fine, Jimin. I just have period cramps, that’s all.”

“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “I have painkillers. Do you want them?”

Exhaling through your mouth, you wiped your moist cheeks and stepped out of the stall. “Sure.”

Jimin smiled at you reassuringly and handed you a wet wipe, looping her arm through yours. “Don’t worry. I got you.”

Your heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. You’d wanted to connect with her for so long, and it finally felt like you were getting somewhere this time. Maybe you were being overemotional due to your fluctuating hormones, but you wanted to pull her into a hug.

“Oh, also,” you started a little sheepishly, “I wanted to apologise in person about cancelling on you earlier today. I drank and partied more than I should have. I thought about sending Jeno to cover for me, but he pointed out that it would have been awkward for you to see him when you were expecting me.”

“Woah, wait!” she gaped and took a step away from you. The shock on her face surprised you for a moment, but the feeling didn’t last long. “You’re kidding me! You should have kept insisting, Y/N! A lunch date would have been the perfect way for us to get closer!”

“I don’t think he would have considered the lunch a date because he was just a stand-in for me,” you said awkwardly, and threw the used wipe in the dustbin.

Jimin waved you away as you walked out of the restroom and back to your booth. “I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an official date, but it would have given me the opportunity to ask him out on a real one.”

“Right.”

You hated the way you sounded. You hated the way your stomach churned, and your mood dropped. You hated that someone was pursuing Jeno. You hated that you were being forced to play Cupid, all thanks to your strong refusal to admit your feelings and the friendship you wanted to build with the girl next to you.

“Oh, my God!” Jimin exclaimed, too immersed in her own fantasies to have noticed the change in your tone and demeanour. “I can make up for the missed opportunity by sitting next to him right now! You wouldn’t mind, would you?”

You did mind. The idea of her making a move on your best friend made you want to dig a hole and cry. God, you were being so pathetic. This was completely unlike you, and you despised the way you were acting. You had to pull yourself together immediately.

Besides, it wasn’t like you were ever going to explore these newfound feelings you had for Jeno. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship. Forcing an encouraging smile on your face, you said, “Um, sure! That’s a really good idea.”

“Took you guys long enough,” Chenle commented once you returned.

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you have any other places to be?”

“I mean I was worried.” He rolled his eyes. “We ordered food while you were gone. You sure you don’t want anything, Y/N?”

“Yep,” you said, popping the last letter. “Scoot over and make space for us.”

Yeji got up again and stood to the side as Jimin, and you slid into the booth. “The two of you better not make me get up again. I’m not budging even if you need to take a big dump.”

“Sorry,” you muttered, smiling at her sheepishly. Making yourself comfortable, you grabbed your glass of water and dipped a straw in it, idly sipping the liquid.

Jeno’s gaze caught yours from behind Jimin’s back. He pointed at her with a frown on his face and mouthed, “Why is she sitting beside me?”

You waved him away and turned your attention to the rest of your friends. “Please tell me you guys finally decided what we’re doing over the weekend.”

“We did,” Mark piped up. “We’re thinking of going to an amusement park and then a water park.”

Jimin frowned. “Won’t those places be crowded as well?”

“We just need to accept that most destinations will be. Everyone’s on break, so it doesn’t matter where we go. There will be people everywhere.”

You agreed with Minjeong. “Amusement park it is. Can we hit the bars at night?”

“It won’t be much of a trip if we don’t.” Ningning grinned. “You sure you want to go clubbing so soon though? You were completely wasted when Jeno called me to his room and made me change your clothes last night.”

Mark snickered. “Are you scared of changing your own girlfriend’s clothes, Jeno?”

Silence. No one spoke.

NingNing was staring at Mark incredulously, and Yeji seemed to be suffering through an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment. Chenle pretended to flip through the menu while Minjeong grabbed her phone and scrolled through the apps on her home screen in an attempt to look busy.

Jimin whirled to face you so fast that you wondered how her neck hadn’t snapped. You couldn’t even dare to look at Jeno to see what reaction Mark’s words had evoked out of him.

Laughing awkwardly, you asked, “Who said we’re dating?”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Mark scoffed in disbelief. “You guys are so bad at keeping your relationship private. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you.”

“Is that true?” Jeno asked, but no one present at the table dared to meet his gaze. “Do all of you think there’s something going on between Y/N and me?”

“I mean….” Chenle began, dragging the word out. “You both are very close. People who claim to be just friends don’t cross the boundaries you two step all over everyday. But we’ve never seen you kiss either, so we’re not sure if you’re dating secretly or…”

“You guys are crazy,” you interrupted. “Stop speculating about our relationship. It’s weird.” Turning to face a very betrayed-looking Jimin, you enunciated, “Jeno and I are just friends. That’s all there is to us.”

“Yeah,” Jeno added, glancing at you. “Y/N and I will only ever be friends. There’s no way I would date her. I don’t find her attractive in a romantic way.”

Feeling a knot form in your heart and anger bubble in the pit of your stomach, you snapped, “Same. Jeno’s not even my type. I wouldn’t get together with him if we were the only people left on Earth.”

Your friends exchanged knowing glances, and poor Jimin, who was stuck sitting between Jeno and you, made an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Okay, guys. We get it.”

“I’m not sure you do,” Jeno hissed, staring all your friends down. “I can see your damn faces. The only way you’re going to believe I’m not into Y/N is if I prove it to you by going out with someone else.”

Minjeong began, “That’s not—”

“No, he’s right,” you fumed. Under the table, your hand curled into a fist. “The only way you guys are going to get this stupid image of Jeno and me being together romantically is if we date other people.”

“The two of you are overreacting!” Yeji exclaimed. “There’s no need to get so defensive! We were wrong for assuming, and Mark was an idiot for opening his fat mouth. I’m sure you both would have told us if there was something. We’re all sorry.”

There was a chorus of agreement on the table. Everyone genuinely seemed to be apologetic—except Mark, who was glaring at Yeji and looked mad for being called an idiot. His eyes met yours, and a sheepish smile took form on his lips.

You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, but your heart was still in knots. There was a certain hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You felt sick and anxious.

Did Jeno really have to say all those hurtful things just to convince your friends about your platonic relationship? He didn’t need to sound so offended and make your mutual denial a competition.

Sure, you were the one who had declared there would never be anything more than just friendship between Jeno and you, but he didn’t have to cross the line by saying you weren’t appealing to him.

Besides, you’d said what you’d said for Jimin. You didn’t actually mean the words that left your mouth. Considering the emotions you’d been feeling recently, it would be a lie to claim you didn’t hope for a different sort of future with Jeno.

It didn’t matter anyway. A romantic relationship between the two of you wasn’t practical. Your best friend had never so much as hinted at wanting something more.

In a twisted way, you were glad he said those wounding things. You needed to be pulled back to reality.

“Hey, Jeno,” you heard Jimin say once the food arrived and everyone started eating. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch and watch a movie sometime this week?”

Bile rose to your throat. You hoped to God he would say no. You didn’t care if you were being a shitty person; you didn’t think you could take any more of this torture.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Your eyes were trained on your glass of water, but you didn’t need to look at him to know he was surprised. As much as you hated eavesdroppers, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to learn where this conversation was going.

“I am.” Jimin chuckled nervously.

Jeno didn’t reply immediately. The rest of your friends were engaged in their own discussions with the people sitting next to them. The table wasn’t silent by any means, but the only things you could hear were Jimin waiting for his answer with bated breath and the pounding of your heart in your chest.

Then, “I would be honoured.”

Oh, you were most definitely going to throw up.

02. you fall for them

You hadn’t talked to Jeno ever since dinner with your group.

He hadn’t reached out to you, and you hadn’t tried to contact him either. You’d received a text from Jimin the next day about the specifics of her date with Jeno. They were supposed to meet up for lunch at a restaurant near your college campus and then go out to watch some sappy rom-com.

He didn’t even care for rom-coms. You’d begged him to watch one with you countless times and he’d always turned you down. Part of you wondered if he knew Jimin was updating you about everything and he was purposely pulling this shit to get back at you.

But you dismissed the notion immediately. No way were you so dense and self-centred. Maybe Jeno genuinely was into Jimin.

Your phone began ringing, and you rolled over on your bed, blindly searching for it on your bedside table. God, you hated being woken up in the middle of your afternoon naps. It almost always guaranteed a headache.

“Hello,” you said groggily, your throat raw and dry. “Who is this?”

“Oh! Did I wake you up?” It was Jimin. She sounded upbeat. Your heart sank. “I’m so sorry!”

Pushing yourself up, you rubbed the gunk out of your eyes and made your way to the window. The darkness made you bump into the corner of your study table, and you bit down on your lip to keep a yelp from escaping. Hobbling, you threw the curtains open and said, “No worries. My alarm was just about to ring. How was the date?”

Laughter bubbled from the other end of the phone line. “It was cool! He is a really good guy. No wonder everyone is head over heels for him. He opened the door for me, didn’t let me spend any money even though I asked him out, was an excellent listener, called me pretty and beautiful, and drove me back home. Oh, God, and the eye-contact? It made him a hundred times sexier.”

Seems legit, you thought to yourself. Jeno had always been a gentleman. The other girls you’d set him up with had pretty much given you the same feedback. Part of you felt relieved that this date hadn’t been any different than the others he’d been on.

Except the rom-com part, of course. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why he would agree to something he hated.

“Ah, I’m happy for you, Jimin!” you exclaimed, trying your best to mean what you said. Your own words tasted like ash on your tongue. “Are you guys going on a second date?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. He said he had a great time with me, but when I tried to ask him out again, he just hugged me. That took me by surprise, and I kinda just forgot.” She laughed. “I know good dates usually end with a kiss, but the fact that he didn’t go for one didn’t bother me.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. Sitting on the ledge of your window, you asked, “That sounds nice. Do you think you’ll try asking him again?”

The last thing you expected her to say was no. And the way she said it… she didn’t sound sad or upset or disappointed. She sounded like herself. She sounded the way one would when they talked about the weather.

It confused you. Didn’t Jimin just say the date was really good? She sounded so happy and delighted. Why was she backing out now?

“I—I don’t get it,” you sputtered. “I thought you were into him. I thought you had a great time today. Why aren’t you going to ask him out again? Did something else happen—?”

“Calm down.” She chuckled. “Nothing happened.”

“Huh? Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing happened,” she repeated. “That’s the problem. I like Jeno. He’s attractive, funny and caring. He’s everything a girl would want in a guy. But there was no spark between us. I had a great time with him, but hanging out today didn’t feel any different than usual. It felt like I was hanging out with a good friend, not with a potential romantic interest.

“I was looking forward to exploring what I felt for him. Turns out, it was just physical attraction. It also turns out that he wasn’t into me at all. If it wasn’t obvious the night we all went out for dinner, it was glaringly clear today. I think part of the reason he said yes was that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” she added. “The other—major—part was that he’s in love with someone else, and I would rather die than be a homewrecker.”

“Oh,” you said again. You didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she mean Jeno is in love with someone else? You didn’t dare focus on the last part of what she’d said. You didn’t dare hope that the person she was referring to was you. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else easily. You’re a delight. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”

Jimin laughed again. “If you weren’t in love with Jeno too, Y/N, I would have thought you were into me.”

It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Forcing yourself to laugh, you croaked, “Whatever do you mean?”

Saying that was a mistake. You should not have asked her to elaborate. She was going to make you come to terms with your feelings, and all the time and effort you’d spent denying and trying to get rid of them was going to go down the drain.

Before she could speak, you made a static sound with your mouth. Then, you pretended that the connection was really bad. “Wha—hear—you. Try—back. Hell—?”

You hung up before Jimin could call you out on your bullshit. A moment later, you saw a text pop up.

[jimin]: that was soooo unsubtle [y/n]: idk what ur talking ab!!!!!!! [jimin]: sure [jimin]: also a tiny heads up [jimin]: i told jeno to stop being a pussy and an asshole so he’s on his way 2 ur place now [y/n]: WHAT THE FUCK [jimin]: i’m going 2 pretend u said thank u [jimin]: don’t forget ab our dinner date tmrw [jimin]: have fun <3

It was crazy how the bell rang almost immediately after you read the last text. You wondered if the timing was planned and that Jimin had told Jeno to wait till she gave him the go-ahead.

You trudged to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.

“Hey,” Jeno mumbled with a small smile. His hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it several times. “Can I come in?”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nodded and moved out of the way to make space for him to step inside. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and stood awkwardly.

“You can sit,” you said, feeling the corners of your lips curl up in amusement.

He sighed and wove his fingers through his strands again. “Not before I apologise for my behaviour. I was completely out of line that day,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.”

“So you don’t think I’m unattractive?”

You meant to tease him, but the next thing you knew, he was standing toe-to-toe with you, a desperate and guilt-ridden expression adorning his face. “God, no. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I only said that because… because I knew it would hurt you.”

Jeno was standing too close to you. You could barely breathe, much less think. But that didn’t stop you from asking, “Why would you want to hurt me?”

He didn’t answer for what felt like an entire minute. He only kept staring at you, an internal battle raging inside him. Then, he let loose a breath of frustration and moved away. He refused to look at you, and your patience kept slipping with each moment that passed.

Right when you thought it would snap, Jeno spoke up, “It hurt me when you said you and I would only ever be friends. I know how stupid it sounds, but it really did. For years, I’d been pining after you and hoping that maybe we could be something more in the future. I felt like an idiot when I realised wouldn’t ever view me in that light.

“You got so defensive when Chenle said all our friends were suspicious of us being in a secret relationship. I couldn’t help but wonder if you felt disgusted at the idea of us being together. I got angry at myself for being naive and said those horrible things without even realising.”

You didn’t know what to say. This was the second time you’d been rendered speechless in the past thirty minutes. It was one revelation after the other; you were having a hard time keeping up.

“You—you like me?” you stuttered.

Jeno laughed humourlessly and looked you dead in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

You took a step back. “No, no, no, no—”

“Yes,” he pressed. “I’m sorry that I do. I know this changes everything, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just—”

“Why would you go out with Jimin if you… if you love me?” you whispered.

“Partly to see your reaction and partly in an attempt to get over you,” he admitted. “It didn’t work. I just—I just couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was with her. I felt so guilty for saying such terrible things because I couldn’t deal with my emotions and come to terms with reality. I’m really sorry, Y/N.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me back—”

“That’s not what I’m apologising for,” you interrupted and walked towards him until your abdomens were touching. “I’m apologising for not seeing it sooner. I’m apologising for encouraging Jimin to ask you out even though it killed me. I’m apologising for denying my feelings time and time again. I’m apologising for saying we would only ever be friends. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be platonic.”

Jeno was barely breathing. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you too, Lee Jeno,” you mumbled and stood on your toes, cupping cheeks with your palms. “I’m saying I want you to kiss me.”

The words didn’t register immediately, but his lips were on yours the moment they did.

Jeno’s arm snaked around your waist, and he pulled you closer. His hand grabbed your neck from behind, and he tilted his neck to the side, deepening the kiss.

Your breath hitched in your throat. All you could feel was him. Your nerve-endings were short-circuiting, and pure adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You didn’t think you’d ever been as satisfied and euphoric as you were right now.

Jeno’s lips slotted with yours perfectly. You smiled to yourself upon realising he tasted like chocolates. Your best friend always ate a piece before any event he deemed to be very important. He claimed they gave him good luck.

Letting go of one of his cheeks, you grabbed the round collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth harder against his. The nights you’d spent wondering how kissing him would feel and then hating yourself immediately for having such thoughts amounted to this.

You didn’t want to hold back.

But you had to ask him a question. It didn’t matter how stupid or ridiculous it was; you wanted to know the answer. So, you broke the kiss and inquired with your body still tangled with his, “Why the hell did you agree to watch a rom-com with Jimin?”

“Really?” he asked exasperatedly. “You wanna talk about Jimin while we’re making out?”

“I wanna know why you watched a rom-com with her when I’ve been begging you to watch one with me for so long,” you corrected.

Jeno was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to tell you. You raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he started, blowing out a breath. “She told me you set her up with me, and it pissed me off even more. I knew she’d tell you all about our date, so I suggested we watch a rom-com. I knew you’d be riled up once you realised.”

You snorted. Who knew? You weren’t actually being a self-centred narcissist when you suspected the same. “You’re an idiot. I was already riled up you were going out with her.”

“Oh, yeah?” he teased. “Why’d you encourage her in the first place then?”

“Honestly, at first, I thought I could use you to further my friendship with her,” you admitted. Jeno scoffed in disbelief. “Yeah, I know. That was kinda shitty of me. But when I realised I was falling for you, I pushed her to pursue you in an attempt to convince myself I was not into you. That obviously backfired and did the very opposite. I was horribly miserable. I wanted to shoot myself everytime I heard her gush about you.”

He smirked. “She gushed about me?”

“Oh, get over yourself.” You shoved his shoulder playfully. “How’d you end up here after your date? Jimin texted me that you were coming.”

“Tough, but I’ll try.” He laughed. “She was probably able to tell how disinterested I was. After the date when I dropped her home and hugged her instead of kissing her, she just confronted me and asked if I was in love with you. Then told me to not bother answering because it was obvious. She said she didn’t want to get in the middle of us and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t come here to make amends immediately.”

You grinned. “Oh, the things I would have done to witness that scene.”

“It was scary.” Jeno frowned. “She hit my shoulder really hard when I said I was in love with you and called me an idiot for going out with her. I think she was angry at herself too for being oblivious to our situationship. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.”

“Jimin actually said she had a great time with you. She told me it was nice.”

“Really?” he asked, sounding surprised.

You placed a chaste kiss on Jeno’s mouth. “Hmm, I wonder how good the best date you’ve ever been on would be then.”

He chased your lips and kissed you back deeply. Caressing your cheekbone with stars twinkling in his eyes, Jeno said, “I guess we’ll know when I take you out.”

“No way, are you officially asking me out on a date, Lee Jeno?” you asked, and let out a fake gasp.

“Damn right I am,” he declared. “I don’t want the amusement park trip with our friends to be our first day out as a couple. Do you wanna grab some food tomorrow afternoon? We can go to the trampoline park before that.”

You smiled softly. “That sounds wonderful. But,” you added. “No more flirting with restaurant staff for free food, or I’ll go ballistic on you.”

Jeno laughed, and you thought it was the most beuatiful sound you had ever heard. His chest rumbled with the force of it, his eyes creasing to look like small crescent moons. Slipping his hand into yours, he squeezed once.

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”

note: THANK U FOR READING TILL THE END WHAT ??? loads of hugs and kisses :’)) also i know i said this before but posting after a rlly long time has lowkey made me anxious LOLL i think i could have done better with the fic esp the end bc it’s a little rushed. honestly speaking i am ready to move on to my next wip and i don’t wanna spend more time rewriting this one :(( i still love this piece though and i would definitely love to hear your thoughts amigos!! stay healthy and hydrated <33

thank you to mira for coming in clutch and helping me out with the plot when i was stuck + giving me her honest opinion! thank you to dori too for reading parts of this fic and giving me her opinion as well! i love you both :D

taglist: @notbeforelong @w3bqrl @rikiflowers @mochisnlix @allorysayshi @hiqhkey @angel-hyuckie @j4kesworld @timetoten @vantxx95 @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @jennaissantes @sunshine-skz @baekhyunstruly @ja4hyvn @ily-cuz-i @kdyism @keemburley @n0hyuck @luvenshiti @donutswithjaminthemiddle @mosviqu @deobitiful @jeonnyread @pjofics @venusprada @matchahyuck @tbzussy @babyksworld @bockhyun @rbf-aceu @ablackbtsstan @tamakofever @naemakkuri @sadgirlroo @fariylixie0915 @pradagukkie @babyjenono @hibernatinghamster @jaemnationnn @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @carelessshootanonymous @nctzennikki09

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kamiversee · 2 months

Text

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 16 || The Tension

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] �� A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, fluff, heavy sexual tension, teasing, & taunting.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.6k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——OKAY, WELL, A LOT COULD GO WRONG. But of course, you're trying to focus on the positives here. As long as you play your cards right and plan things out properly, nothing will go wrong.

However, that does not stop you from worrying about something going wrong.

Worries aside though, Choso is considered to be medium difficulty, right?

Wait... Are Gojo's levels of difficulty even accurate? Mr. Fushiguro was considered hard but when you really think about it, he wasn't all that hard... At least, not after you planned everything out. As far as Geto goes, well, as of right now you could call the man and tell him to come over and fuck you and he'd be there within twenty minutes.

Gojo himself is obviously the most whipped of those you've seduced so far. Though, you didn't realize just how severe it was at the time-- nor did you care to.

As for your current focus, Choso, the only difficulty in seducing him was how you wanted to go about it. Truth be told, you could probably just call the man over one night and seduce him then call it a day.

But... that's not all you want, now is it?

No, you want something more than sex with Choso. Which was expected, you knew this was going to happen. Sure, you tried to avoid catching feelings but how the hell are you supposed to feel about a man who painted you the day he saw you, drops nearly anything to make sure you're okay, and is just...

Fuck, the guy is everything and more.

You could sleep with him at any point in time. It's kinda cocky of you to think such a way but it's true, you can tell by the way Choso looks at you whenever you're around him and even the way he talks to you over the phone. He's not exactly playing coy about lusting for you.

Even so, whenever it is that you decide to sleep with the guy, you need to plan for the after-effects-- whatever that may be.

Is he going to be clingy? Are you going to be clingy? Will Choso be able to understand that you sleeping with him doesn't lead to an immediate relationship? He should be able to, right? He's a grown man...

Okay, if you're being completely honest with yourself here, it is not Choso you're worried about. It's yourself.

Hell, you're so engrossed in your thoughts of how you're going to go about this that you'd forgotten you have the man in your living room right now sitting next to you and comfortably watching a movie.

Shoko's out and you told her you were inviting someone over, sparing her the details of who, to which she told you that the apartment was all yours for the night. And while that's great and all, every time you turn to your right to steal a little glance at Choso, you get nervous for some reason.

You're excited and eager to have sex with the guy but again, the aftereffect is what concerns you. It terrifies you actually because if he wants a relationship, hypothetically speaking, you'd still have three other guys you have to sleep with.

And hell, knowing Gojo, the asshole would probably make the blackmail worse by threatening to expose your previous actions to the guy you like...

Everything is so fucked. No matter how you think about it.

Maybe you should just save Choso for last? Then, you'd be freed of the list and you'd be able to get with him, right? Then again, would that asshole Gojo even allow that? What's stopping him from blackmailing you further? What if he-

The sudden sound of your name being called makes you break away from your deep thoughts. Your head is slow to turn to your right, meeting Choso's curious eyes.

"You okay?" He asks.

You nod but it's an obvious lie.

Choso raises a brow, "You don't look okay..."

"I... I'm fine. I was just thinking about some things," You hum in response before turning to face forward again.

There's a horror movie on the TV that you'd long since forgotten about. The man beside you leans a little closer to you, "Thinking about what?"

You merely glance at him from out the corner of your eye, "Nothing important."

"Mmh... With the way you suddenly went all quiet on me fifteen minutes ago, it seems pretty important." Choso comments.

Okay, he may have a point there. The two of you were talking about the movie you were watching and at some point, your mind just drifted and you got quiet as the movie continued. Damn him for noticing though, you thought you played it off well.

And to make it worse, of course Choso moves to pause the movie. He then shifts so that his focus is completely on you; sliding a little closer to you and moving to rest an arm behind you along the back of the couch. When you turn your head to look at him, you chuckle at how all his attention is on you.

He probably doesn't realize how cute he looks right now, having gotten all close to you just to hear you talk about whatever's on your mind.

"C'mon, what's on your mind princess?" Choso asks, his voice gentle.

Your heart feels so weird in your chest at the sound of that nickname, a slight smile spreading across your face at the name alone. Your eyes meet his, despite the lack of personal space between the two of you, "I told you, nothing important."

Choso tilts his head, "Okay, tell me anyway."

"Why?" You ask, your brows pinching together.

He shrugs, "Cause' I came over to hang out with you but you're sitting here distracted..."

Another chuckle leaves you, "I was just thinking about school and uh, this project I have coming up."

"Uhuh..." He nods, "Is the project hard?"

"Yeah. Uhm, it's a group project and there's roughly... five of us in the group including me," You begin to explain. It's all a lie but you're going to make an analogy based on your current situation to see if you can get some kind of advice, "I've never worked with three of the people in my group so I'm kinda worried about that..."

Choso is all too intrigued with your words, seeming as though he's hanging off every syllable that leaves your lips. "Mhm..." He hums, awaiting your continuation.

You have to look away from him due to his intense focus, "Then there's this one person in the group. I've worked with them before and I'd like to say I'm pretty good friends with them but, the project we're going to be working on is something I know they won't agree with."

"Why?" He scoffs, "What kinda project is it?"

"A complicated one." You sigh, "I'd explain it but that's like an entirely different conversation so-"

"I mean, I'm not going anywhere." Choso hums.

Again, there's this little feeling in your heart that you try to ignore. "Yeah, I know but the project itself isn't what I'm worried about, it's the people."

He nods, "Alright, go on."

"Like I said, there's this one person in my group that I know better than anyone else in the group. I think I'm..." Your brows push together as you try to figure out how to word things correctly, "I'm worried about what'll happen after the project. I wanna be friends with this person but I feel like the project will change how they see me or something and when it's all over..." You steadily turn and look at Choso, "They'll want nothing to do with me anymore."

The man blinks. It's clear that what you've just explained is bothering you but the way you're looking at him throws him off for a second. His brain had frozen for just a second as he looked into your eyes.

There was no intimacy in the eye contact you both held with each other and yet Choso couldn't help this alluring feeling you gave off.

After a few seconds of staring, he clears his throat, "So like, do you have a crush on this person or something?"

Technically speaking, yes since the person from your analogy represents Choso but you can't tell him that or he'll think you have feelings for someone and won't want to do anything sexual with you in respect for those feelings.

"Uh, more like a friend crush?" You say meekly with a little shrug.

He nods in understanding, "Ohh, I get those sometimes."

"Yeah, I'm not romantically interested in this person," You definitely are, "But I don't want the friendship I have with them to change after the project is over."

"Right, well even though I don't know what this project of yours is, I'm pretty sure nothing will change," Choso says.

You scoff, "What makes you think that?"

"Cause' it's you we're talking about," He comments simply.

There goes that throb in your chest. "What do you mean by that?" You ask.

"I don't think anyone would want to cut ties with you over some project." Choso clarifies, "I can't speak for this person you're talking about but, I'm sure they know you're too great of a person to cut off over something so small."

You swallow and look away from the man again, "It's not something so small though. It's something that... makes people change the way they look at you, y'know, think about you differently."

"Okay? So?" Choso questions nonchalantly.

You turn to him again, "What do you mean so?"

Choso's still staring at you intently, "What version of you would someone not like?"

The way he words his question only furthers that little feeling in your chest. It's almost as though he were implying that any and all versions of you would be acceptable in his eyes.

"H-Huh?" You breathe out.

"Do you really think someone's going to cut you off just because your views or opinions are different than theirs?" Choso clarifies.

"Uh, yes." You say seriously, trying to calm yourself from those flustered emotions, "A-And it's not just views and opinions, it's actions too."

"What kinda actions?" He quires, the conversations suddenly growing more and more pressing.

"Actions that aren't always considered morally right."

He scoffs, "Like what?? What are we talking about here; Assault? Arson? Robbery? Murder? Theft? I'm confused." Choso blurts out, his voice passionate.

"N-No, none of those things but..." Your gaze wanders back and forth between his left and right eye as you try to come up with a way of wording this without literally telling him everything, "Fuck, I don't know how to explain it."

"You could just tell me what the project itself is." He suggests with a shrug.

Your brain is quick to come up with a slight relation, "It's a social project a-and the things that each of us have to do, especially me as the uh... group leader, they'd make someone see me differently."

Choso rolls his eyes slightly, still feeling confused as to what you could possibly do to make someone view you differently. In the heat of the moment, the man finds his words slipping out faster than he thinks about them, "Baby, unless you're going out here harming people in the name of research, I'm pretty sure no one is going to look at you differently-"

"What if I'm harming people's emotions?" You cut off, not even catching what he just called you.

His brows raise in concern, "Are you?"

"I might be." You scoff.

"I still don't understand." Choso sighs, "What could you possibly be doing that-"

"And wait," What he previously said suddenly clicks, "D-Did you just call me baby?"

"Uh..." Choso looks off to the side for a second as he too realizes what he said. After which he returns his eyes to you and notices the way the name made you slightly flustered, "Okay, yes, I did. But that's not the point here, love."

"S-Stop that." You stammer, turning away from him in embarrassment.

The pet names are throwing you all the way off and you can't even focus on the analogy you were trying to give him nor can you look him in the eyes when he calls you those names.

Choso bites his lower lip at your reaction, finding it cute, "Stop what, princess?"

"That." You emphasize.

"I'm not doing anything, am I?" He responds, his tone innocent.

"Yeah, you are." Your eyes are everywhere except on his, "You keep calling me those pet names and it's distracting..."

"I'm sorry baby." Choso apologizes purposefully.

Your heart skips a beat and you feel heat rush to your face. In reaction, you turn your head away from him, "Fuck, Choso stop."

"Why? Am I..." The man leans closer to you and his voice is low and near your ear, "Am I making you nervous, pretty girl?"

"That amongst other things..." You whisper.

Choso chuckles, "Look at me,"

"I can't now." You mumble. Your nerves are all over the damn place and your heart is pounding like crazy.

"Why?"

"C-Cause' of you, silly." You tell him.

"I didn't do anything," Choso says, "C'mon, we need to get back to our conversation anyways."

"I can't even focus on that now, forget it."

You hear him laugh at you, "You can't focus now?"

"No, no I can't."

"Aww, fuck, that's cute." Choso comments, his voice suddenly low.

You turn your head slightly, only so that you can look at him from the corner of your eye. When you notice he's smirking at you, you raise your hand to his face and playfully push him away.

Choso laughs again from beneath your palm and moves to grab a light hold of your wrist, forcing your hand to stay in place over his face. "You can't focus, huh?" He hums.

You finally turn and look at him, only able to see parts of his face through your fingers, "N-No. And why are you keeping my hand on your face?" You ask as you try to pull yourself away.

Choso's light hold on your wrist grows tighter and he shifts your hand around so that you can see his full face. The man then presses his lips to your palm and carefully kisses your hand, his eyes on yours as he does so.

Was that all it took for the man to have you aroused? Well, with that and all the pet names, yes.

"Did you just..." You blink, "Did you just kiss my hand?"

"Mhm," Choso hums against you before moving to plant another kiss, his eyes trailing down to what he's doing, "...s'that okay?" He mumbles into you.

"I..." You trail off as you watch him plant slow and tender kisses into your hand.

He continues for a little while, nearly losing himself in his simple act before his gaze flicks back up to you. The way your eyes are all widened and you're so clearly flustered has to be the cutest reaction he's ever gotten from you.

Choso slowly pulls away from your hand, still holding your wrist lightly, "Cat got your tongue, princess?"

Yes, actually. You forgot how to speak for a few seconds. "Uh..."

The man decides to give you a second to breathe, releasing your wrist and sliding back away from you a bit, "Sorry," Choso apologizes, "I don't even know why I did that..." He mumbles, looking away from you.

Did you just get him flustered because you were flustered? Holy hell that's the cutest thing in the world. He doesn't even know how to keep teasing you up to a certain point.

"No, it was fine," You finally manage to say.

He just barely looks at you, "Was it?"

"Mhm..." You hum.

Choso then takes his eyes away from you and turns his head slightly, allowing you a moment to see how red his ears are. He was blushing...

Then, he clears his throat, "Uh, a-about that project of yours-"

"Choso," You cut off, causing his voice to get caught in the middle of his throat.

"Hm?" He hums.

You tilt your head and shift on the couch slightly, inching toward him, "Are you... Are you blushing right now?"

The man turns his head all the way away from yours, keeping his face away from your line of vision, "Why would I be blushing...?"

You chuckle, "I dunno, you tell me."

"I'm not." He says, "C-Can we just go back to talking about your project...? I should've never started teasing you."

"Why? I like being teased by you," You blurt out.

Those simple words of yours make his cock unexpectedly twitch inside his pants. Choso clears his throat again, "Don't word it like that."

"Word it like what?" You hum innocently, "And why aren't you looking at me?"

He heaves out a sigh and carefully turns his head to you, almost in slow motion. Choso's face is hued in pink and you can see the flustered shade of red decorating his cheeks. His eyes go wide at how close you are to him, having crawled slightly across the couch to him.

Choso swallows, hard. "There, I'm looking at you. Happy now?"

"Very." You say simply, tilting your head again, "And you lied, you are blushing."

"No... It's just hot in here." He lies.

You scoff, "No it's not."

"Okay well, I'm hot."

"Take your jacket off then," You suggest.

He chuckles, "Right..."

You then watch as he moves to take his jacket off, neatly folding it afterward and pacing it down on the space beside him. After which, when he turns back to you, he sees that you're facing him completely, sitting on your heels with this sudden look in your eyes.

Choso blinks, "So uh, back to your project?"

You shake your head at him, "What if I don't wanna talk about that anymore...?"

"What uh, what do you want to talk about then?" He asks wearily, he then tears his gaze away from you, "A-And why do you keep looking at me like that?"

A light scoff leaves you, "Like what?"

"I dunno, like..." Choso glances at you one more time, "Fuck," He whispers to himself.

You weren't aware but you were giving the man bedroom eyes and since your eyes are the feature Choso loves paying attention to, it doesn't take him anything more than a glance to acknowledge what that look of yours is.

One of his hands rises to his face and he wipes it off as if that'll cleanse him of the sudden thoughts he's having.

"Like what, Choso?" You question again, "Cat got your tongue now?"

He turns his head to you, trying to look anywhere except for your eyes. That only worsens his situation though because of course looking at your lips doesn't make it any better. Gazing at your torso, which is hardly covered up with the tank top you're wearing, only leads him to stare at your tits.

Choso results in shooting his sights up to your ceiling and groans at himself, "Now I can't focus."

Your brows furrow, "Are you okay?" You ask, chuckling slightly at the man in front of you.

He shakes his head, "No."

"What's wrong?"

"You," Choso says seriously.

"Eh? Me??" You blink.

He makes this little gesture with his hand in the air toward his head as if to say he's going crazy, "I can't even have a regular conversation with you without thinking like this."

"Like what?" You ask teasingly.

The man sinks into the couch a little, resting his head back comfortably as he keeps his gaze directed upwards, "You're asking too many questions."

You giggle, "Am I?"

"Mhm."

"I mean, I'm just curious..." You say coyly, shrugging a little, "After all, you had me explain what was on my mind so, isn't it your turn now?"

"You didn't even finish explaining." Choso points out.

"And who's fault is that?"

He scoffs, "Whatever."

"C'mon Choso, tell me what's on your mind." You urge, moving to poke his arm slightly.

"Mmmmmh," He hums in thought, smiling to himself ever so slightly, "You might not like it."

"Unless you're thinking about robbing me, I think it'll be fine." You joke.

"I dunno, my thoughts are..." He trails off for a second before sighing. "Lewd."

You bat your eyelashes at him, "Lewd?"

"Mhm, very lewd."

"Well, now I'm really curious." Excitement is clear in your tone.

Choso finds how intrigued you are cute and he hopes his words will throw you off again, "Stay curious, baby."

You pause. Then you click your tongue, "That's not gonna distract me this time." You hum, almost seductively. You then move to sit closer to him, "Share those lewd thoughts of yours with me."

He shakes his head, "No."

You whine, "C'mon, don't make me beg for it."

"Maybe I want you to."

"Yeah?" You utter, your tone is completely sultry now but you don't care. "How do you want me to beg, hm?"

"Fuck," Choso whispers under his breath. He again turns his head away from you and you just barely hear him speak, "I can't take this..."

"Can't take what?"

"You." He clarifies.

You chuckle, "Can't take me? I'm not doing anything?"

"Yes, you are."

"What am I doing??"

Choso is slow to finally turn his head and look at you. His eyes are all low, lower than normal, lust swirling within his gaze. You don't miss the way he glances down at your lips, shamelessly staring at the way you're smiling at him.

"You're teasing me," Choso voices out, his tone low.

You inch a bit closer to him, "Am I?"

"Yeah, you are."

"Should I stop?"

"Depends." He hums.

Your smirk is constant, "On?"

He pauses for just a second. Whatever this back-and-forth banter the two of you have going on is, he likes it. "Where you want this conversation to go," Choso responds.

You raise a brow, "What if I don't want it to be a conversation anymore?"

"What do you want it to be then, princess?"

"Maybe actions." You tell him suggestively.

"Actions..." He repeats, "What kinda actions?"

You and Choso both pause, staring at one another. His eyes are on your lips and your eyes are on his. The tension in the air is palpable. There's so much sexual tension between you two that you're practically undressing one another through looks alone.

The way Choso licks his lips slowly as he awaits your next snarky response doesn't go unnoticed. He's got a comeback for anything and everything you say to him, ready to keep whatever the two of you are doing going until the other can't come up with something to say or until it leads to something else.

Choso leans in closer to you, his face nearing yours carefully, "Tell me, what kinda actions are you suggesting here?"

You let out a breathy laugh, "Take a guess."

"Nono, I want you to tell me." Choso says clearly, "You can do that, right?"

"You want me to explain to you what I'm suggesting...?"

"Mhm, I wanna hear you say it."

"So you know what I'm implying, you just me to admit it out loud?" You question further, clearly avoiding what he wants.

The male whispers to you, "Such a smart girl. That's exactly what I want you to do."

"Choso," You whisper in response.

"Hm?" He hums.

You stare at him again, refusing to say anything to the man until he looks into your eyes again. It's slow the way he drags his gaze upward along your face before he meets yours.

"...I want you to touch me," You finally answer, keeping your words as vague as possible.

Obviously, you want him to do more than just touch you but dragging it out like this is way more fun.

The corner of Choso's lips twitch and he smirks, "Yeah?"

"Mhm..." You hum innocently.

He raises a brow, the eye contact continuous, "Touch you how?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I want you to explore me."

Choso freezes and he swears his cock is throbbing right now with how unbelievably hard it is. The man swallows, "Explore you?"

"Yes, Choso." You sigh.

He flashes you a lustful smile and finally lifts his head from the couch, moving toward you. Choso's hand goes to your chin and he gently pulls you toward himself. You're quick to follow his touch, your heart at a steady beat within your chest despite how nervous you are.

His head tips to the side and he brings his lips just barely over your own, his breath tickling you as he speaks lowly, "I'm gonna explore your mouth first, s'that okay?"

You try to stop yourself from smiling, "Yeah..."

Choso slides his thumb up from your chin to your bottom lip and pulls it down slightly, "You sure?"

"Choso if you keep teasing me like this, I'm gonna lose it-- just kiss me already." You huff out.

He just couldn't help himself, not with how needy you looked right now or with how tense you were because of his one little touch. The two of you are sharing breaths at this point and it's so slow how his thumb moves and his lips press into yours.

You're quick to push into him and move your lips over his, to which he smiles slightly at how eager you are. The feeling of one of his hands going to your waist makes your breath hitch as you kiss him and you even pull away from him slightly, to which he pushes right back in aggressively.

Your arms carefully move to wrap around his neck as Choso turns his body more. Then, after growing frustrated with the awkward position, Choso simply shifts to pull you on top of him. You don't fully sit down, too engrossed in your slow make-out session to do so.

The man then clasps your bottom lip in between his teeth and pries your mouth open, pushing his tongue in. Fuck, that action made you hum against him and you get straight chills down your spine when his tongue swipes over yours.

An abrupt feeling of a smooth metal ball is felt and you pull away slightly, "Hah, w-wait, Choso..."

He's smiling at you mischievously. "You didn't know?"

You swallow hard as you shake your head and watch the man.

Choso carefully sticks his tongue out for you, revealing a piercing you weren't expecting him to have nor did you ever notice it.

Of course. Of course Choso Kamo has a damn tongue piercing. He tilts his head and his hands latch onto your waist firmly, tugging you closer to him and causing your chest to be flush with his, "Does it bother you?" He whispers.

"What, no." You reply quickly.

He moves to kiss you again, planting one little peck against you before whispering, "Then... Actually, has anyone ever..." He trails off a bit, his face reddening all over again.

You tilt your head, "Has anyone ever, what?"

"Has anyone with a piercing ever given you head?" Choso finally gets out.

You swallow deeply, your arousal thrumming through your body as you look at the man before you. Slowly, you grin at him, "No..."

Choso takes a deep breath and you can feel a throb in between your legs as he finally asks his next question, "Can I change that?"

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ✔︎

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎

KAMO CHOSO ☐

NANAMI KENTO ☐

??? SUKUNA ☐

??? NAOYA ☐

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