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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 7 months

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hello again everyone i'm putting on my tinfoil jester hat & passing out Hefty grains of salt. its batshit theory time!

in short: i think Julie is gonna get violent & might end up killing someone - or she'll at least try. and i'm pretty sure something terrible is gonna happen to her.

in long: hoo boy. strap in

first off, i'd like to say that i love womens' wrongs And rights! all of this is said with utmost affection & respect for Julie. i love it when characters do terrible things, its interesting and so tasty for the story and their development <3

second disclaimer: most of this is just based off of what we have / know as of now. which is, admittedly, not much! so despite having short arms, i may be reaching very far! i'll get the based-on-knowledge part of my thoughts out of the way before getting into the more abstract I'm Just Making Shit Up At This Point part (educated guessing, yk yk!)

not sure where to start so i'll begin with what starting this line of thinking - flower symbolism. I've gone a little bit into it in a previous post from a while back (where i just made observations about the neighborhood map), but i'll restate the relevant parts. there are two flowers in the neighborhood with greek myths attached, and similar ones at that: the hyacinths outside of the Post Office, and the sunflowers outside of Frank's house.

most people know the hyacinth myth! Apollo, while playing metal frizbee with his (male) mortal lover Hyacinthus, Apollo's thrown discus bounced off of the ground and accidentally hit Hyacinthus in the head, killing him - then Apollo turned the spilled blood into the hyacinth flower. in another - popular - version of the myth, the wind god Zephyrus was jealous and blew the discus off course to kill Hyacinthus. as for sunflowers: Clytie, a nymph, was in love with Apollo and grew jealous of his relationship with a princess, Leucothoe. Clytie informed Leucothoe's father of the relationship, and he buried Leucothoe alive as punishment. Apollo turned his murdered lover into a sunflower. two flowers attached to greek myths about Apollo falling for a mortal, and that mortal gets murdered by a jealous non-mortal.

next, I would like to bring attention to This Concept Artwork from 2021. now i'm not gonna use this as a definitive "oh this exists so it must mean-" but there are always elements of concept work, especially Canon concept work, that sticks or can allude to themes or information that will be revealed later in the story. concepts are concepts for a reason - it means there's a solid idea that's being explored in depth, most times for use (especially that deep into the story crafting).

specifically, right now i'd like to look at the type of flower Julie is holding. pansies. normal ones + the primary fucked up pansy. pansies are symbols of love - both romantic and platonic, but predominantly platonic. it can also symbolize nostalgia, thought, admiration, remembrance, and can even be used as an "i'm sorry" flower. in victorian times, it was often used to represent forbidden/secret love.

stick with me, i'm getting to the point i promise

now, another thing is how much of Julie's character (meta-wise & in regards to the WH show as a production) is centered around love. her house is the "cutest" or most feminine one in the neighborhood, and it's downright infested with hearts, from the windows to the bushes to the chimney. she exists as Frank's foil, and it's almost definitive that she was meant to be Frank's love interest (there's just. so much evidence that there's no way that's not it). and just look at her! she looks like a love interest! if WH was a real show that i sat down to watch, i'd see her and immediately go "oh, ok, that's her base role"

this contradicts with what we know of her character - Julie seems big on platonic love, loving her friends, but other than that? she very much steps around what her house/character design is trying to say. she's hopscotching right over what the production wants from her. the only thing she kinda sticks with is the whole flower thing

but. but but but. i wonder! after the update, I'm pretty confident that the neighbors are influenced by the "script" and the workshop, even if they're not aware of it. see: the difference in how they act in the "recovered media" (where they behave more like they're characters playing out a bit, their dialogue has no natural lulls and it just sounds like a (really good) script) vs the 14 audios & the phone calls (natural dialogue, they seem more layered & like actual people instead of just characters, there's no set shenanigan - they're just doing their own things). and we can assume that the latter audios are from the neighbors off-script off-the-air.

despite this, they still somewhat try to fill their roles. the question is: how much of that is authentic, and how much is them still feeling that pressure to perform? just like how We as people feel pressure and expectation from societal rules/norms, even if we're not conscious of it. like, say... kids growing up thinking being queer is wrong, even if they've never been directly exposed to / made aware of homophobia/transphobia. We fill in the absence of being told "this is right" with "it must be wrong", and We act accordingly

so apply that to sapient puppets who were (again, most likely) made with set relationships, dynamics, and character details in mind. they're meant to be This Way, even if they want to be That Way, and that internal "programming" has to conflict, at least a little. like how I've seen Clown mention that homophobia will/may be a theme, and the only way i can see that happening among puppets who have never been directly exposed to it is if the above happens: they feel pressure from something they're unaware of. expectation from a "higher" plane of existence. as above, so below.

OKAY NOW WE'RE GETTING TO IT I PROMISE! blend this all together into Frank & Eddie catching feelings. they weren't meant to fall in love. they're not supposed to be together. it's - from the perspective of Playfellow & society (in the time period WH was active/created) - wrong.

Julie is supposed to be with Frank. Frank is supposed to be with Julie. in a way, they are together - they're best friends. they're foils. they were created to compliment each other and click. in the media audios, they're almost always together. if one of them is in a scene, so is the other.

so what happens if Frank starts to pull away? if he starts to spend more time with Eddie - what if Julie feels like she's being pushed out? what if she asks Frank to come play, only to be told he already has plans with Eddie, and if Julie tries to join in, what if Frank tells her no?

if it were me in this situation, I think I'd start to panic a little. everything has always been the same - it's always been Frank and Julie. that's how it's supposed to be. Frank and Eddie, well that's just - that's just wrong! and if, at this hypothetical point in the story, things are tangibly starting to degrade/go wrong, Julie might cling even harder, panic even more.

you see where I'm going with this? what i meant with the flower symbolism and what it could point to?

their world is falling apart, and Julie's one constant - Frank, her best friend, her grumpy rock - is pulling away. for Eddie. the mailman. and so what if the jealous "lover" takes action? Julie can make things go back to normal. she needs Frank, and in her mind she's losing him, but she can't lose him. she can't. and maybe that little whisper of expectation that she can't hear but feels nonetheless, fuels this fire. it makes her feel justified, makes her feel the need to act and "correct" this. maybe if she gets rid of the distraction, Frank's love and attention will be hers once more.

i mean, people do insane things when they're under that much pressure. from current probably-horrible events, a loss of control in their own life, their closest person seemingly distancing themselves, subconscious pressure from societal expectation. especially when it comes to love - platonic or romantic. w/ Julie, i'm pretty sure it's platonic in regards to Frank. though she is bi, so you never know! could be both!

and maybe it won't be about Frank & Eddie, if any of this turns out to even a little right. maybe there's a factor I'm not considering or haven't seen yet. but i really do think that there are things pointing to it.

like yeah, the Concept Art linked above. the caption saying "liar", the specific species of flower, Julie holding it over her mouth as if keeping a secret, the hammer. not sure if the person standing over her is her primary puppeteer, an abstract, or something else (it seems cracked?) but that's not what this theory is about!

then there's the flower patch - both behind her in the concept art, and the one behind her house on the map. it's striking me now that the two look very similar. they have mostly the same flowers, even. blue/yellow/white/orange "daisies", some daffodils, what i think are roses (it's hard to tell specifics on the map). an odd choice to make them so similar (unless it's coincidence!).

when I first saw the patch, my immediate thought was "holy shit is that a body dump?!" bc it's oddly green compared to the rest of the map, it's placed at a noticeable distance behind Julie's house - as if it's supposed to be "hidden", and it's the lushest spot in the neighborhood. now, to provide a counterargument to my own claim: it could be very green because that's how things are shaded, it looks like it's at a distance from the house bc the map is 2D, and its the lushest spot bc Julie's all about flowers - also, i doubt flowers would spontaneously grow since we can assume none of them are real. it's a puppet world of props. but who knows.

(and okay this might or might not be relevant but we can assume Julie is the one who made the chalk drawings on the path, right? i think there's a spiral in front of her house. just making a note of it.)

and there's just how much "pressure" seems to be on Julie compared to the others. she doesn't match her house. she doesn't fit her "role" the way she's meant to. AND OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT - by the swingset, there's now a bowling ball and what looks like red scissors. idk about you guys but i associate scissors with Eddie. he's all about crafts, after all! now i'm really reaching but hey? murder weapon? Julie does seem fond of bowling balls... that's a perfect bludgeoning weapon to have on hand (in abundance!)

in conclusion, i just think Julie has major potential to do some deliciously fucked up stuff. in fact, i hope she does! it could be handled/done in an absolutely fascinating way, and could have intriguing consequences.

who knows, maybe i'm right about her trying to get rid of Eddie (not out of malice or anything, just fear & pressure), and there'll be a whole thing where he keeps on coming back, completely unaware that she tried to off him, bc he's a puppet and it's probably really tough to kill something that wasn't really alive in the first place. i mean, in This Observation post i made about some new map secrets, there's a strange window shine on the Post Office door that could be spelling out either "nexus" or "new us". that plus the apparent extra hands/faces behind the door... Eddie is quite accident prone. who's to say he's not used to being replaced by himself? it's not like he'd remember. or is that the reason his memory is bad? holy shit wait - no wait this is a tangent. sorry. this post is about Julie lmao maybe i'll make a different post for this Eddie Thought i just had bc ough. ough...

and also, before anyone tries to come at me - because there's always people who twist words to Start Shit or misinterpret/miss the point - i'm not saying that Julie is like... homophobic. or hates Eddie. or is a "jealous crazy-" just. yk? and if you think that, maybe reread the post. or take a reading comprehension class <3

AS FOR THE SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENING TO JULIE. this is based on Two things and also Vibes. this section will be mercifully short compared to the rest of this clusterfuck of a post

so in the Livestream Trivia doc compiled by @/theneighborhood watch, yes i'm referencing this again sorry, there's this tidbit:

that, plus This Artwork, which features Julie (they're her shoes!) standing at the edge of an apparent chasm (the edge of the set, i assume) paints an interesting hypothetical picture. maybe she wanders a little too far and falls off the edge of her world. maybe she discovers something and Wally has to do something he doesn't want to do, but "needs" to. hey, who knows. maybe she is gonna hurt / try to hurt someone, and in an attempt to save them / stop her, Wally pushes her - either accidentally or on purpose, either way the end result would be the same. now I'm just pulling things out of my ass so lets move on lmao

then there's the Unknown Record in the website's media section. i actually recorded the audio and sped it up - i'll post that video later - and it seems to be an excerpt from Alice in Wonderland. the only part of it i've been able to clearly pick out is "Alice found herself falling down.... down... down..." followed by, presumably Alice speaking - who's high pitched voice reminds me of Julie's. so that's another point in the Julie Goes Bye-Bye Via Rapid Descent theory. or just goes temporarily missing! it could be that the only relevant part of the above trivia tidbit is the "falling down a cavern", and not the "never seen again" part. but it could. be. both.

though! though. Clown has stated that if all the neighbors were to take on roles in Alice in Wonderland, Wally is the one who would be Alice. which follows his direct connection to the spiral/eye pit, and the phrase "down the rabbit hole". so it could be either or. it could be both! it could be neither! this is all speculation, which brings us to....

the end! we made it! i hope you're still carrying your Hefty grains of salt! soon you'll be able to fill a large chicken-shaped shaker with it all!

#ok ive been feeling a little Clearer upstairs lately so i think this is actually written the way i wanted #the brain fog lifted just enough to be insane on main!#sorry about all the flower symbolism #i just think its there on purpose! why choose those specific flowers! why Draw specific flowers in a fictional puppet world #where not even the animals are real species! theyre just generic/fictional 'butterfly' 'beetle' etc #and how eddie and frank's main flowers are practically the same story just in different fonts #how julie is 'meant' to be frank's lover. the meanings of the pansy. the flower patch.#welcome home speculation #wh speculation #wh theory #homebogging #'i connected the dots' you didnt connect shit 'ive connected them'#i stg im gonna eat drywall....#and hey. maybe this is all just wishful thinking #i love it when fictional women do bad things. its catnip to me!#we'll see we'll see #wow i actually dont have much to say in the tags. i put it all in the main post. this is a rarity!#i just think it would be interesting if julie clashed with frank/eddie #that could be downright Fascinating...#well whatever happens ill enjoy it! im im right - awesome! if im wrong - awesome!

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transgenderpolls · 3 months

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Submission Guidelines/Disclaimers

First, things to keep in mind when you submit:

there is a limit of 12 answers for polls, and on this blog one of those answers will always be 'show results,' to allow for people that the poll doesn't apply to to see without skewing data. so in reality you have a maximum of 11.

there's also an 80-character limit on the options

SO, if you go over those limits, know that I will take it into my own hands to decide which answers to omit and/or how to re-word it to fit the limit.

even otherwise, expect that the wording of your submission may be slightly altered in order to be more inclusive (when it doesn't affect the data), or because i think you missed an option that you probably meant to include, or just to make it sound less clunky. if you have an issue with any changes upon posting, i'm happy to hear you out.

it'll likely be about a 4-5 day wait between the time you submit and the time it gets posted, with the current number of submissions i have + my own polls

if your poll is addressing a very small group, don't be surprised or angry when the 'see results' poll is the biggest. that needs to be there to keep data from being skewed by anyone's curiosity.

Base Guidelines For Submitting:

poll must be related to being trans. it doesn't have to be exclusively directed at trans people, but if you want cis people to be allowed to answer, please make that clear in your submission. otherwise i'll default to it being a trans-only poll.

it CAN be directed at a specific type of trans person, such as trans men/women, non-binary people, trans lesbians, trans moc, etc - literally you can address any specific trans group you want, just make sure to say so.

it CAN relate to sex, just try to be tasteful about it.

What would make me NOT post a submission:

if it's an opinion poll about the validity of any particular type of trans person. "validity" is a moot topic and i'm not going to encourage it, and in any case i'd like the focus of this blog to be about recording experiences (real, undeniable, forever in stone) rather than opinions (always changing, meaningless)

if it's something like "trans people: do you like pineapple on pizza?" or some other question that doesn't actually have anything to do with being trans. if you wanna send something like this, make your case for why it's relevant that the poll is directed at trans people.

if it's some other obviously offensive shit, obviously. no racism or whatnot here.

FAQ:

Who counts as trans?/Can I vote on a poll for trans people if I'm nonbinary?

We self-define here, so if you consider yourself trans, you're trans. Non-binary is definitionally under the trans umbrella - though you're not obligated to consider yourself trans if you don't relate to a trans experience.

Why isn't there an option for X?/You missed an option.

Sometimes I may genuinely miss an option, but 9 times out of 10 the lack of the option is either due to the poll limits on tumblr, or because it goes against the point of the poll. For example, if the question begins with "If you're on HRT," then "i'm not on HRT" isn't going to be an option. If the prerequisite of the poll doesn't apply to you, then what you click is "see results." If it's something a little less concrete, polls will always include some kind of "other" option anyway.

Can you get rid of the 'see results' button? Or can you not include it on this particular poll? I only want X people to respond. This poll is ONLY for X people.

If a poll is on this blog, it's for everyone, questioning and simply curious people included. It's also not going to stop curious people from clicking if there's no 'see results' button. It ensures that the data doesn't get skewed, and gathering data is what polls are for. It doesn't hurt you to see a big see results bar. The data is still there. If the bar does wind up obscuring more significant data, that means the poll was addressing too small of a group to begin with. And that's NOT the end of the world. This blog is far from the only place where you can get information about other trans people's experiences.

#mine

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dilatorywriting · 1 year

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Random question cause I've just seen an event and I'm starting to find idia a bit annoying lol but I do still like him when he makes sense but I wanted to know why YOU didn't like him lol

Okay I give my whole ass disclaimer that I know Idia is a fan favorite and I completely get why. In the words of Hades, I get it. I got it. I got the concept. But I just personally don't vibe with him.

Mostly I think it's because I've known quite a few people with his personality/archetypes in real life who were just absolutely awful, and that colored my opinion a lot. It's a fun concept for a character, very not fun to deal with in real people. Which, tbf, would be the same for pretty much all of the Twist boys. But as a nerd and someone in a very quote-unquote 'intellectual' field of work/education, I have met too many people like this.

But as like, an aside on top of that bias, I can tolerate most traits or flaws in other people, in real life and in fiction. My one, personal, irredeemable, nitpick is hypocrisy. Everyone comes from somewhere different and has different experiences that shape your values and ideals, but the second you start being a hypocrite, you're just proving that it's not the values, it's you being a dick. Idia for a lot of his vignettes etc. is incredibly judgemental of his classmates, while simultaneously lamenting how everyone would judge him for his interests. You don't get to be a dick to people and then be all 'uwu no one likes me' when they call you out on it. Like in the Ghost Bride event! Everyone shows up to save him--intentions entirely good or otherwise--and he spouts off enough ungrateful/mean comments that it turns into all of them basically being like 'fine go die :)' I remember thinking it was the funniest shit, and it was definitely meant to be a comedic moment, but the problem is that he never really recovers from those moments. It's always him being a dick, inevitably getting roasted, and then that's... sort of it.

His one redeeming trait in my opinion is Ortho and his obvious love for him. But like, even that gets tainted a lot of the time. Like in Ortho's vignette for his robes or whatever, he gets so excited to go to the opening ceremony! And when shit goes tits up, Idia just like... refuses to interact with him? To the point that the groovy image is Ortho pressed up against the door just... waiting for him? Ortho would give literally anything for his brother, and yes we're told Idia feels the same, but more often than not he still puts himself first. I'll give my disclaimer that I haven't read Idia's book. I know the gist of what happened to the OG Ortho, but like, I don't have the details. Maybe it gets better. But for the most part, until that book, all I'd really seen was things perpetually working out for Idia whenever he needed it (every event he basically gets what he wants--the new years bags, the wishing star, etc), while never having to deal with the consequences of him being nasty to other people and then just going on to complain more. Which. Ack. It just personally rubs me very much the wrong way.

Again, I completely get his appeal. His character design is absolutely gorgeous and sometimes the guy says some genuinely funny/unhinged shit. My favorite characters have literally tried to kill people and I'm sure drive some people into an absolute rage, so like, no judgment here. He is just very much Not My Vibe. At least, not at the moment. Maybe it will get better in Malleus's book.

#Asks

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fandomgamersimp · 4 months

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Okay, so many of you fuckers don't even know what aromantic means. So hello, I am an aromantic person and I am going to talk about my aromanticism. Btw, I may not be nice on this post, but I don't care tbh, I am so tired of you acephobes. Also, note that I may also be romance-repulsed (still kinda discovering myself), hence some comments.

Disclaimer too- this is my personal story, I do not speak for other aros and how they define themselves. Unlike some of you, I don't have main character syndrome.

So:

I don't get romantic love. That type of love apparently reserved for partners, lovers etc. - I don't understand what's special about it. I even asked my friends to explain it to me. And I see no difference between this and close friendship, for example, or friends with benefits.

There is none of it in me. I had some, let's say, quick relationships, one night stands, whatever you wanna call them, sure. It was nice. We had a good time.

The thought of someone staying, sharing their space with me, having THIS type of relationship though? It makes my skeleton wanting to crawl out of me.

Also, some people have told me about loneliness too. Missing having someone. There is nothing of the sorts in my life. They tell me about sadness and wishing they'd have a partner. I have none of it. The thought of getting into a relationship is gross to me. I don't feel lonely, I don't feel sad. I don't feel, in any form of fashion, the need to be with someone and have someone to be satisfied and, let's say, "fulfilled". This feeling that you have, romantic attraction, it doesn't exist in my life. And I don't need it to.

I know what love is. I love my parents, I love my brother, I love my friends. I'd do anything if it meant their happiness. So surprise, aros ARE capable of love (despite what some of you think). Just not that one. Because I just don't need it. I don't want it. I don't miss it.

And because aromatics don't follow what society deems "normal" (read: cis and straight, both romantically and sexually), they are, therefore, LGBTQIA. To bigots, there is no difference. Bigots don't separate flags. All of us are fags and queers to them.

We face our own, personal shit too. We are forced into romance, as if otherwise we're some freaks of nature and apparently "everyone's worried that we might die of loneliness". We are fed hormones to fix us (because oh, it's just your libido or smth, which is wrong on so many levels). And, apparently STILL, we are shit on by our own community.

But we exist. We belong. We, the letter "A" (shocker, it is not for allies) are going to remain here - we, those people in history who didn't settle/marry for "mysterious reasons".

Also, this is mostly due to some stupid fucking poll going around along with acephobes in the comments and reblogs, and I'm gonna say - the way some of you treat queer men is absolutely fucking disgusting. Ace men exist. Aro men exist. All of them are queer and valid. Idk, maybe, just maybe, so many of them don't even realise they are ace because society pushes into their heads that the "normal man" is supposed to be a sex-crazed freak and just look for a partner like it's their sole purpose of existence? Maybe it's society's fault for saying that romantic love is the only way for fulfillment and happiness, as if people are meant to be exact, mindless copies of each other? Just maybe 🤷

Not to mention the misandrists in the comments too. Spiriling hate out of hate to battle hate- wow, so courageous, so heroic, your peanut brain must really hurt after coming up with such a master plan. You don't even realise that the patriarchy played you like a fiddle and gave you a twisted view of masculinity, which you're upholding with shitty views. And the actual enemy, the rich and powerful who love to make every single toxic stereotype stay as long as it brings profits and manipulated mass to follow them- they are looking at you blaming random guys (also affected by the patriarchy - 😱😱😱) and they're fucking cackling at how big of a fucking moron you are. I'm just gonna remind you that all of those problems you have with men go up to the top. The regular ones - the are conditioned, manipulated and twisted. Cutting off a branch won't get rid of the tree. You can bring then to justice and make them face consequences for shitty actions while also realising that your neighbour John isn't what upholds the system because he has a dick and identifies with what we see as masc. Idk how stupid you have to be to actually believe that. What, my older brother who supported me and helped me deal with my mental illness, who was my friend, who helped me with my passion for games and anime, he is a bad person because he's a man? My father who worked his ass off to support the family and now has health issues because of it, who does his best to be supportive of his queer kid is a bad person? Oh, I guess he's the devil himself bc he's cis and straight. Literally shut the fuck up.

And oh, leave queer men alone. Because hating on someone based solely on their sex is sexist. If your argument is "because men 🤢", fucking grow a brain instead of your fucking cranium.

Sorry for the rant, but I am so fucking tired of all of you, fr. So, to summarise my word river-

Ace men exist and are valid. There is no discourse to have about that. Leave them alone, you creep.

Aromantic and asexual people belong in the lgbtqia community. We are queer, we face queer phobia. Stop acting like a twat, we're not gonna disappear anyway.

Misandrists can suck my non-existent ding dong. Y'all are the cancer in every fucking space that you invade. Unlike ace men, you are not valid. You need therapy. Also you're sexist, so you have that going on I guess.

Again, I know I am not nice. But honestly, after wasting years of life trying to fix myself, because people can't deal with how I identify myself, I am not gonna be.

I am not obligated to act nice to bigots. You don't deserve it. If you cannot take it, leave the fucking internet. You'd be doing lots of people a favour.

EDIT: Besides adding some points I forgot about due to dealing with this stuff, I also remembered someone saying "sexual attraction without romantic attraction" and said "oh, so rape". There is so much wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin, so I'm gonna say this - as an aromantic person who was sexually assaulted on multiple occasions, I hope you fucking rot in hell.

That's it, that's all.

#rant post #personal rant #aromantic #aro #also i am both aro and bi what're you gonna do abt it bitch boy 🤭#misandry #misadrist #tw acephobia #tw sa

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caitie-likes-talking · 10 months

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Part 4 Critique: Everything I'd Change

I love DIU..however, I consider it one of the post flawed of the JJBA Parts. Honestly, I feel like Araki didn't fully know where he was going with it til halfway, which is why the plot can be so janky. No matter what, let's dive into it. First, characters.

(also quick disclaimer: this is all my opinion and i am biased for MANY things.)

if u diagree w me dont tell me i think it would crush me

Characters [Josuke, Jotaro, Okuyasu, Kira]

Josuke Higashikata

I LOVE Josuke. I think he's a lovely character concept and his design is really cool. My main problem with him is literally his LACK of screen time!! He is the Jojo of this part, yet his spotlight is constantly stolen by other side characters like Koichi, Rohan, and even Jotaro. This also happened a lot in Part 3, with it basically being the Polnareff show (idk why Araki did this sm in pts3-5...either let the mc have screen time or don't have them be the mc!!)

I think Josuke had some of the most missed opportunities in DIU. Especially with his relationships with other characters. I think this part could've been way more interesting if it chose a solid theme, and one that I think would've made sense is commentating on death & tragedy and how that can impact personal relationships. The reason I believe this is because there's already easy set ups for this in the story. Ryohei's death, The Nijimura Brother's family, Reimi, Shigechi, and Jotaro all have that theme in place, but not enough connecting points or real arcs related to this. What was the point of killing off Ryohei (who was the only father figure Josuke had growing up) if you're not going to show how this impacted Josuke, Tomoko, and how he acts with others besides one single page? Sure, it taught him that his powers have limits and that he can't save everyone, but that was a stupid thing to teach him because Okuyasu doesn't fucking die when he should've!! Like why did we make an arc saying 'hey stands aren't magic they can't bring ppl back to life' just for EXACTLY THAT to happen??

Moving on, I also have problems with his stand. I LOVE Crazy Diamond, I think it has a super cool design and power concept, but personally I wish it's powers were more grounded and had clear limits. I feel like a lot of stands suffer from this treatment of vague power limits (ex: Golden Wind..) but my problem with CD is that there were MANY opportunities to add one! For example: we know Josuke couldn't bring back Ryohei even after using his stand on him. So that bears the question: what can CD not fix? What is the real reason it can't bring a dead person back to life? Jotaro says "No stand has the power to bring back the dead" WHY?? am i missing something? Have I forgotten when it was officially established that stands cant do that? I mean, literally in part 3 there was a stand that could reanimate corpses. So does it have to do with the soul? No matter what, I would've used this moment to establish that CD can't bring back ANY living thing. I actually wrote a short fic abt this and included the fact that he also couldn't "fix" a dead leaf. I feel like overall his stand needed more grounding.

Also, I have beef with Josuke's backstory, but I'll get into that later.

Jotaro Kujo

Ok firstly, I have MAJOR beef with his design in part 4. Mainly the fact that he's drawn extremely pale in the anime. Like..obviously he COULD be pale as he is wasian (im not trying to say all wasian ppl look the same), but he is TAN in part 3. Why did they take that away?? Pisses me off to the extreme. At least they fixed it in p5+6. Anyways..

Character wise, I really enjoy Jotaro's personality in p4. I like how he's mellowed out in comparison to p3. However, I feel like he needed a more clear role in the story. He showed up to figure out grandpappy's shit, and then took the leader role when facing Kira. Why don't I like this? Because most of the time Jotaro was just..there. I think Araki wanted him and Josuke to have a mentor/student relationship (ex: rat episode) but just didn't focus enough on them or Josuke training with his stand for this to work.

Also, the fact that it took Jotaro so fucking long to figure out who Kira is WITH the help of all those other stand users is so goofy. Like him and the gang back in '89 found Dio's ass from a goddamn microscopic fly in a photo but couldn't find Kira's identity?? Like ugh he almost redeemed himself with the button thing but then he got blown up like gosh what happened king

When it comes to stands, I forever find it stupid that Jotaro didn't work with his stand to become more powerful. Araki just had to nerf him (which is something he does with most reoccurring characters, ex: Joseph). I don't like it and it pisses me off.

With the death of Ryohei, I feel like it would've made more sense for Jotaro to somewhat open up to Josuke and be a bit more sympathetic towards him about it (or maybe he stays closed off until Josuke explodes, causing Jotaro to reveal the truth about his past.) Either way, I think the two of them could've bonded over shared grief.

Okuyasu Nijimura

I absolutely ADORE Okuyasu. I think his dynamic with Josuke is really fun to watch and his personality is just overall super enjoyable.

Stand wise I do think Araki slightly nerfed him by making him dumb as fucking rocks, but I let this slide a little more just bc he's a side character..

I honestly think Okuyasu has the best character arc out of the whole part 4 cast. I think he definitely deserved more screen time, but what we got was really solid in my opinion. His relationship with his brother was well developed and it was really interesting to see how it still affected him even after his brother's death. The way he felt a need to get revenge for his brother and still felt like he wasn't enough really hit me in the gut. I love him.

When it comes to Okuyasu's "death" I have very mixed opinions. On the one hand, ofc the goat of part 4 survived. On the other hand, I feel like him surviving goes directly against the idea we've been given since the beginning. You can't save everyone. And on the one hand, I enjoy the subverting of expectations. On the other hand, I don't like how it's still just never fully explained. I guess in JJBA as long as your soul doesn't feel like dying yet, you won't. I wish we saw Okuyasu actually speaking to his brother when he "died" however. I find him and Keicho's relationship really gut-punching and that would've been a fire scene imo.

I have more to say on him, his dad, Keicho, and the arrow, but I'll save that for when I'm talking about the plot.

Yoshikage Kira

I find Kira to be a really interesting villain. I really enjoyed every moment we got going deeper into his psychology and it's something I really wish we got to see more of. I enjoy his sleek design and he's fine asf tbh.

Im not gonna give commentary on his stand rn bc honestly i dont fully remember how that shit worked by the time he was using the arrow

Character wise I just really wish he was established as the main villain sooner. The build up and hints dropped about him were so addictive, so it's disappointing that they're only there a little before his full introduction.

The psychology of Kira is something I really liked. The way he truly believes he's never really done anything wrong and only wanting to live a peaceful life is something I wish was even more looked into. Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but from my memory, in the manga Kira's whole thing with his nails growing quicker when stressed/when his need to kill is getting too strong was only psychological. At least, I don't remember them growing the same way it's shown in the anime. I think this would've been something really interesting to deep dive into. The fact that he believes his nails grow when his need to kill is really high is really intriguing and the overall connection between hands and his killings are something I wanted to be fully developed more. I know it was kind of just a weird ass fetish but like..that's interesting!! this is interesting!!

I'll probably make an individual post to talk more abt him.

Plot

Where do I even begin. The plot of part 4 is all over the place. I loved many episodes, and I enjoyed when it leaned more into the slice of life style, but why the fuck where there like 3 seperate plots? Honestly, cut out Anjuro. His whole plot shit was annoying as hell. Didn't care for him.

Akira's entire plot pissed me off. I only like this arc because of Okuyasu. Overall I found there to be a lot of plot holes and just annoying parts. Everything til Kira was like this for me. Like get to the REAL plot please.

The arrow annoyed me. I've never wanted to rip my hair out more than when Kira's dad got a hold of it. He was SO GODDAMN ANNOYING. I like the concept of Kira using the arrow to get allies or ways to cover up his plot, but most of the stand users that came out of this were annoying and Kira's dad was insufferable in the worst way possible.

I think something I wish was more covered by the plot is the aftermath of Part 3 and Dio in general. This is something that CDDH (best jojo spinoff) covers really nicely, however. Go read it.

I also just in general think more should've been done w Okuyasu's dad, as he is a direct aftermath of Dio.

I feel like a lot of the women in Part 4 were set up to have strong, actually plot-influencing roles, but then were totally side-lined. I'm going to make a full post abt this tho.

Reimi being connected to Rohan never made sense to me. Just narratively speaking, why did you connect the main motivation for catching Kira to a side antagonist instead of the main character? This is slightly fueled by my hate for Rohan but like, c'mon! I think it would've made more sense to 1. just not include Rohan so fucking much and 2. connect Reimi to Josuke's past.

Speaking of Josuke's past, I feel like it just..needed more. Or at least, I think something needed to be done with the boy who saved him. I can appreciate the idea of it connecting to a theme of the general kindness of strangers, but you don't see that theme pop up as much in the rest of the plot. Also, I again would've connected Reimi to Josuke because WHY ISN’T SHE CONNECTED TO THE MAIN CHARACTER OH MY GOD

Overall tho I like the vibes of part 4, i really enjoyed different arcs and characters, and I just wish Araki got more time to flesh everything out and refocus on certain themes and characters.

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #diu #diamond is unbreakable #jjba part 4 #josuke higashitaka #jotaro kujo #okuyasu nijimura #yoshikage kira #plot review #critique #just my opinions #i love part 4 i swear #josuke is my fave jojo #review #commentary #manga #manga analysis

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vegasandhishedgehog · 1 year

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Okay friends of the MDZS/The Untamed fandom

If you've seen my previous post about making lotus root and pork rib soup, you know the journey I've been on. If you'd like to try making the soup yourself, a link to the recipe is toward the end of the OG post. That one got a little long with all the additions and extra advice from friends, but since I've made it again I'm reporting the results. Why I feel the need to do so is beyond me but this is the only genuine cooking I do and I deserve to be proud of every attempt, so if this annoys you, imagine these faces:

I will give a disclaimer that I had meant to make this soup a week and a half earlier but the mental illness was too strong, so yesterday I forced myself to push through the mental illness anyway so I wouldn't waste too many ingredients (we still wasted some 😔). So, alas, this soup had no ginger and half as much lotus root as desired, plus I forgot to read how much seaweed I was actually supposed to use (way less than what I used), and completely omitted the chopped scallion even though I had it ready because I just. Forgot to actually add it.

We carry on.

In all of my past versions of this soup, I didn't include the rehydrated seaweed. I was advised to give it a go this time and ...well. 😅

That bowl is a good 9 inches in diameter and 3 inches deep. And I took that photo AFTER adding a liberal amount of seaweed to the pot. Yes, I rehydrated the whole package. I didn't think about anything other than, "I'm finally adding the final step to this recipe I've been following!" and entirely missed that it only calls for 1 cup. [Hold on. Googling how long rehydrated seaweed be stored right now. OMG YOU CAN FREEZE IT THANK HEAVEN.]

This is me scooping out all the fuckin seaweed that entirely took over the soup 😅😅😅😅😅😅

Remember how I said there was half as much lotus root? Yeah, this is seaweed soup with a hint of pork now. Good luck finding any slices of lotus root.

I had also assumed that this seaweed would be salted (the packaging was NOT in English, but honestly I can't blame the label for this). I had certainly added what I thought was already a generous amount of salt but let's remind ourselves that I am barely a cook by any means. This girl doesn't know shit about how much salt should go into 12 quarts of water to add enough taste. I did go heavy on the goji berries though.

This resulted in the broth being mainly pork and goji berry water :/ if I'd had the motivation to go out and buy fresh ginger and remembered the scallion I'm sure it would've been better (and more salt obviously), but hopefully I'll be in better spirits next time I make an attempt. I learned a lot from this one.

The one thing I am proud of though?

Look at how clear that broth is. The oily bubbles are from the meat, and I also apologize I don't know if it's my phone's camera or my photography skills, but if it doesn't look clear to you I promise it does irl! I didn't use any of the cooking wine or soaking the meat with the ginger like @of-sevenseas suggested, but just by following the process in the recipe and making extra sure I washed the meat well this time, it seemed to work out!

Lessons learned:

Making soup while having a bad mental illness day is not a failed endeavor, but watch out.

Don't do this without ginger. What are you doing. That soup is wet stuff in hot water.

ADD MORE SALT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU CANNOT BE THIS WHITE.

Read the recipe including measurements. Cooking is, of course, more improvisational than baking, but there's a reason we follow guidelines. Especially when we're rookies, still.

Next time we're gonna try the cooking wine and ginger thing with the meat. It sounds like an adventure.

Celebrate your wins!!!! I did have a success in this attempt!

I also did very well keeping the cat away from this whole 7 hour process, which is the greatest success of all.

(Obligatory kitty pic, since I mentioned her. Meet Lucy everyone. She's hiding under my blankets from the loud scary generator outside my window.)

#lotus root and pork rib soup #mdzs #the untamed #wangxian #yunmeng siblings #jiang yanli #wei wuxian #maddi's cooking (mis)adventures #also y'all gonna start recognizing my kitchen counters if i keep this up

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mikaelasgraveyard · 7 months

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hi ok i dropped ons a bit ago so i dont really know whats happening rn but. hands you a microphone. if you so wish please use this ask as an excuse to complain about the writing and describe what you wish would happen. bc when i did read it i love the characters and the dynamics in the earlier chapters and then the further i got the more it just. didnt click with me

HI YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET ASKIGNG,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOAKAYOAOKAKY to begin. Major disclaimer i am a HUGE ons fan, genuinely i got into the series in 2015 and i am Still here and actively creatign shit for these dudes with a stupid ass poster right above my head as i type this. ...........Now. that fact goes hand in hand with the fact i fucking hate ons and most importantly i hate kagami takaya (the author).

AS YOU SAID. ons started out really strong with a super cool concept and the characters are likeable as HELL. which is so fun because as soon as you get further into ons, kagami decides to drop literally everything that made the story enjoyable and instead focus majorly and literally Only about the plot. its like he has this idea and he wants to get it through to us which most of the time is fine!!! but like he creates these awesome characters that get left in the fucking DUST.

HELL!! as of rn im pretty sure we haven't seen the rest of shinoa's squad (only mika and yuu) since last year!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHEREVER THE HELL NARUMI WENT!!!!!!!!!

literally the whole story is almost. half baked. that's how i'd describe it like. world building fucking sucks he like sets the table only to leave you starving with that shit. he's like "hey there's monsters in the ocean!!" only to never ever have the characters interact with the ocean. there's a whole page discussing the ocean and we never fucking go into the ocean. all of these characters have really interesting back stories and character motivations and ideals and YADDA YADDA and he just. its like he ?? gave up. with trying to do anything more than stupid comic relief dialogue and nailing in this whole idea of family and whatever the hell he jsut fucking left them to die!!! the last interesting chapter we had on how a character felt was like. idk 103. and we are at like 130 nwo its literally hell.

don't even get me started on the theme of found family that has been there from the very start. not only did it NEVER reach its potential but we straight up!!! don't get fucking ANYTHING other than what yuu goes with these days of like. "oh everyones family and can do no wrong . <3" and then you turn and there's kimizuki that's supposed to have betrayed everyone for his blood family (which he lost literally in minutes. it was so brushed over and not even emotionally investing WHICH IS A LOSS) BUT NEVER BECOMES A MAJOR CONFLICT WHERE IT COULD??? LIKE... IDK IF I WERE WRITING THE STORY I WOULD MAKE IT SO THAT THIS WHOLE IDEA OF FAMILY IS DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH. like. ESPECIALLY how shinoa squad is just . Told to be a family. by the military. and then they're basically only able to bond a little bit before mika is back and suddenly yuu and mika fuck off to do everything with hardly anymore group bonding which sucks it so sucks

THERES JUST. AHHH THERE'S SO MUCH LOST POTENTIAL IN TRYING TO MAKE A "cool" STORY!!! it ISN'T EVEN COOL ANYMORE!!!! there's just too much information unfolding all at once that has TERRIBLE pacing and it's like. impossible to fucking care about. there were literally dramatic gay angels that romeo and juliet'd their way to death but its NOT a big deal in the major public cause it was like. One chapter to care about them. Then boom they're dead. he sucks at this. all major reveals are rushed and pointless while other plot points earlier in the story are unresolved or just so painted over by other useless shit that they're unrecognizable now

sorry that's like. this has been all complaining and not more about what i wish would happen. what i wish Would've happened. which do not get me wrong i ALSO think a lot about that (<- would like to do a major fix it fic for the entirety of ons one day)

but what i wish wouldve happened? i wish we could've seen more of the squad interacting. i wish that they were friends worth dying for before mika and yuu reunited. i wish that we got to see mika and narumi integrating into the group instead of that whole 2 or 4 months where they were new just. being completely skipped. i wish that yuu and guren would fight for real, without yuu just being like "oh he's family im sure he is in the right somehow." i want him to beat and get beaten in return. to cry over it. to not understand and be misunderstood in return. i want him to be more than a one dimensional protagonist. we literally have the bones for something so great in him and all kagami is doing with it is just saying his soul is just a mika from millions of years ago.

iii . idont know. literally the only fleshed out relationship in this stupid series is mikayuu which like , Yaay. i guess. but also man i want to see the others. i want the girls to be written better. if i wrote the thing i'd have shinoa as a co-protagonist. because she is literally so fucking fundamentally important but just straight up every cool thing she ever could've amounted to is reduced to just. "little girl in love" which sucks. it sucks. it all sucks so much. she had like a fucking god inside her like since birth and the release of him was just over and done with. we got a sickass line where she goes "oh my body doesn't feel like mine anymore" . never expanded on. shes like fine now. she should be so fucked up she could be so fucked up and shes nottttt

anyways again i love ons. although i remake it in my head every day. i hope this answered your question somewhat i think i lost track

#ons #sorry i am so autistic #seraph of the end #i don't even remember what i typed. i blacked out

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aanylah-101 · 1 year

Text

‼️ATTENTION‼️: AUTHORS NOTE /"You are talking" / "Anyone else Is talking" / "Speaking In Na'vi" /

‼️DISCLAMER‼️: THIS IS A ZDINARSK X FEMALE READER IF YOU IDENTIFY DIFFERENTLY I APOLOGIZE

‼️DISCLAIMER #2‼️: FROM NOW ON (SOMETIMES) I WILL USE FIRST PERSON POV FOR EXAMPLE; ME / I / OURS / MY / etc.

‼️DISCLAIMER #3‼️: THE SCENES ARE SHORT BUT I IM SURE YOUR IMAGINATION IS LONGER

Enjoy Angels! 🕊🤍

_______________________________________________________

I was new to my department, but I was glad that I would be able to associate myself with the team they said I'd have. I was being escorted to my group by a guy named Quaritch, he was intimidating at first and still is to me but he's proven not to be so bad.

We ran into another soldier, I guessed she was on our team because Quaritch yelled out to her.

He walked me up to them and introduced me to her, I smiled at her out of nervousness. It surprised me that she was nearly the same height as Quaritch, but that meant I was much shorter than her.

"This here is Zdinarsk"

I waved and introduced myself,

"Hi..! I'm ____"

"Zdinarsk, make good use of her"

"Sure will," she said looking me up and down

...

"Give It back Mansk!"

"grow taller and come get It"

It had been around 3 months since I joined the team. My teammates were Quaritch, Lyle, Fike, Zdinarsk, Brown & Mansk was fucking around with me and holding my bag up high to where I obviously couldn't reach.

"You heard her, Give It back now Mansk"

I turned around to see Zdinarsk approaching us, Mansk rolled his eyes before dropping my bag in front of me expecting me to catch it.

Everything fell out so I went to collect it, Mansk felt bad so he assisted as well. When I got back up with my stuff I saw Zdinarsk's head come up quickly as well before blowing a bubble with her gum while looking off.

Mansk apologized and offered me a hug, I gladly accepted and hugged him. After Mansk walked off I turned to Zdinarsk and she had an annoyed look on her face, I noticed she was chewing her gum harshly.

"Would you like a hug to Z?" I said opening my arms

She shifted her attention back to me surprised that I even asked,

"No shit," she said while smirking

she walked up to me and hugged me,

...

"____ are you alright?!"

I heard more footsteps come near us as everyone started to get the rubbish off of me. I heard clinging and sounds everywhere, I also heard metal being thrown off me.

I knew this was serious.

I was trying to grab some extra equipment when a big package of boxes, heavy rope, and what looked like a metal box full of spilled tools were on top of me. Lyle was there with me trying to be helpful.

I was pulled up by someone but was too dizzy to know who It was, I was waiting on them to talk or do something so I could identify who It was,

My vision was restored as I looked up and saw Quaritch demanding a first aid kit and other things I couldn't make out. I was wobbling from side to side I tried to focus on my body to feel what pain there was,

But everything hurt, I felt something on my face and touched It softly.

I was bleeding...

My nose was bleeding and so was my lip, sooner or later when the pain came to recognition I started to cry.

Quaritch looked at me and sighed, he pulled me In for a hug and rubbed my back. I heard distinct chatter around me and felt terrible.

"I told you we shouldn't have young recons.."

"Is she really crying?"

"That probably didn't even hurt"

"Poor girl.."

I was pulled to the side while my team was motioning everybody away from the scene, I felt stuff being wrapped around my arms, legs, and an icepack somewhere on my body.

I was soon being carried somewhere and as soon as I was put down everything went black.

I tried to move over being uncomfortable on my back when I hissed In pain

"Easy there" I felt a hand on my chest guide me on my back

Pain struck me from everywhere. It seemed like I tried breathing In and out heavily to ease myself but I broke down crying again.

The injuries and my crying was too hard to ignore. It stung my breathing and I couldn't even cry properly. I was hiccuping continually, making my injuries worse by moving or flinching every time It struck me.

Whoever It was sat me up and put a hand on my chest and guided my breathing, I soon felt another hand on my stomach.

I opened my eyes to see Zdinarsk, once she noticed me looking at her she mimicked slow breathing and nodded her head for me to follow.

I nodded back at her and started to copy her breathing, when everything slowed down I realized that It was my panicking that made the wounds hurt more.

Zdinarsk examined me and discontinued at my mouth, she grabbed a wipe and helped me clean my bruised face. She put an icepack on my mouth as well,

I hissed at the pain of my swollen mouth when Z unexpectedly kissed my lips. When she pulled back I saw the worry and concern. In her eyes, I swear I thought something was wrong with my heart too.

I guessed I was blushing because Z smiled laid down with me,

"I'll stay with you until you feel better alright?"

I wrapped my tail around her thigh and held her hand,

Damn I loved her

Z would often give me looks after that, I still had bandages on my body but I could walk without stumbling. Quaritch even managed to find a sticker pack and put a yellow star on my badge.

When Lyle saw me down the hall called out to me

"____!"

I turned to him wondering why he sounded In a panic,

"Hey, Lyle! What's wrong?"

"I.. I'm sorry ____.. I didn't help you when you got hurt..."

"It's alright L! I'm sure I would have been frozen In fear too" I smiled at him trying to ease his worry. He smiled and examined my bandages,

"Y'know, a lot of metal fell on you"

"Yeah..I saw the toolbox"

"Ha, was way more than that"

I saw Z walk up beside me and she put her hands on my waist. I turned away feeling my face get hot, Lyle looked at us and Z's hand placement and grinned,

"Well me and Brown got some..work! to do.. so bye!"

He walked off quickly leaving me and Z In the hallway alone.

Z led me back up against a wall and held her arm above me, her body arched back.

"So recon, feeling' any better?"

"Y-yeah! Totally...!"

I turned my head trying not to face her directly, she turned my face to her and pulled me into her. I was pressed up against her chest as she carefully examined my face.

"How about your lips?"

"I-"

Before I could answer she kissed my lips again softly, She gave me a sincere look and I decided to break the silence,

"My lips are fine..!"

"They don't sting right?"

"No-"

She pressed her lips against mine and actually kissed me this time, she fixed her position and held me by my waist again. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her as well.

In between her kissing me she softly pressed her lips against mine insuring they didn't hurt anymore.

"Z-z..they don't hurt anymore.." I say with a muffled tone

"I'm gonna make you kiss sore then"

She continued to kiss me and moved down to my neck pulling the strap to my t-shirt down.

I moved my head back and felt her brush up against my neck, biting and leaving hickeys along my neck & shoulder, Moaning every time she bit along my body. She kissed every mark she left.

"Z..we can't do this here.."

"Relax~ no one ever comes this way"

She had a reassuring tone of voice, It soothed you so you let her continue.

Soon she was halfway through removing both your shirt strands when you heard a voice call out to you two

"Zdinarsk, ____ what are you both doing?! "

You both turned In a shocked panic and Z let go of you still holding your hand though,

It was Quaritch...

"Hi, sir..." you manage to say quietly

He had both his arms crossed and looked angry,

"Zdinarsk you know not to do things like this out In the open "

"Sorry boss..." She said rolling her eyes

"And you corporal, know to get a room next time."

You nodded and looked away embarrassed, He settled down and smirked

"I thought there was something going on between you two, don't worry I'm not mad. Just imagine If I hadn't got to you and someone else did."

I smiled, at least he understood.

...

Ever since then Z and you started dating, only Lyle and Quaritch knew. And you wanted to keep it that way.

Didn't you?

_______________________________________________________

Hey! How'd you like this story??

IF I NOTICE MISTAKES OR WANNA CHANGE SUM ETC. I WILL UPDATE THIS

Bye Angels! 🕊🤍

#Zdinarsk x reader #Zdinarsk #Quaritch #Lyle

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soporificshoebill · 16 days

Note

have been thinking about your courtmangela fic and if you ever decide to make a sequel i will wait for it with open arms 🫶 or honestly i just want to know what do You think would a sequel be/what do you would happen after the fic

Oh holy shit, thank you SO MUCH that's so flattering 😭😭😭😭😭😭 <3 <3

I actually didn't have any concrete plans around a sequel for that fic! (link here for anyone who maybe didnt see it, since i ended up porting it to ao3 as well)

Largely bc it felt like it ended in a solid place for everyone- on the same page, confident that feelings were being returned, and ready to jump into something bigger. :)

DISCLAIMER, as always, this is all EXTREMELY fictional and made up, rpf, not about the real people.

That said, if i were to think about it:

Most fun part of the answer: Well. The immediate sequel to that is Courtney and Amanda figure out a way to get some of the stuff for the video/retrieve it from their closets/etc, and. well. Lets just say. Some things from Angela's imagination suddenly become very, very, very real.

Shayne and Chanse were closest to the two parties in this AU, and are both thrilled about the development overall but do Not Want To Hear Any Of Those Details, Please, Spare Me. My mental backstory for that:

Chanse is over the moon about getting to finally openly tease Angela about her feelings now that everyone is open about them being reciprocated. Like he knew, made fun of Angela ONCE, watched her turn multiple colors, then saw Amanda and Courtney ACTUALLY flirting with her and went. Oh. HM. Maybe he spoke to then directly in a "are you playing with my friends feelings" kind of way.

Shayne is just relieved that finally everyone is on the same page because he was TRYING to tell Courtney and Amanda that hey this weird pseudo flirting with Angela without TALKING to her is maybe gonna give her the wrong message??? Surely there are better ways to let her know how you both feel??? (He was right, but it all worked out in the end). So scenes with them finding out/getting an I told you so is an option.

To make it into a meatier fic: Ins and outs of relationship negotiation and navigation! They do explicitly agree to explore something between the three of them, and the expected and relevant growing pains that come from that. There's a fun element where- yes, Courtney and Amanda got together first, and maybe Angela feels a little strange about that at points, until its made very clear that while Amanda and Courtney had some.... things happen during filming, it only went from intense flirting/etc to actual feelings + relationship when their mutual feelings about Angela came into the open. Angela is a key part of the relationship, even if the way it started maybe had her feeling a little out of the loop/at a slight power disadvantage. So lead into that emotional tangle + its resolution would be fun.

Other fun potential things include: Relationship slowly being revealed to the rest of the office. your classic people keep finding them in compromising positions in different combinations all over the office.

In general, the dynamic would be fun+always a little competitive, I think. The flirting from Courtney and Amanda towards Angela is still overt- maybe even more obvious now that things are in the open! But Angela ideally feels confident enough to flirt back as well. Angela Amanda competitiveness and closeness is cranked up EVEN higher. Angela and Courtney are the kind of overwhelmingly affectionate that you'd expect. Amanda and Courtney were always in sync but its to new levels, with bits and flirting and everything ping ponging back and forth. Fave default configuration is Angela physically pressed between Amanda and Courtney as they escalate a bit with increasing innuendo, all of them close.

Again- unsure if I'd write it per se since I'm not as confident in my ability to capture Courtney/Amanda's voice in my fics. But hope this was fun to read anyway :) thank you so much for your ask, its really nice to hear <3

#smosh rpf #my fic #smosh fic #courtmangela #i have lots of fun with this kind of fic theorizing in case its not clear :')#leather & harnesses #once i get more confident writing courtney and amanda in my rpf aus ill have even more fun i think #smosh hcs #smosh au #s&b courtmangela

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commiicc · 10 months

Text

Hi. I'd like to talk a little about my time on social media as an artist. I'm sure a lot of this has been said by a ton of artists before me, but I'm going to say it again anyways.

My online handle is @ commiicc. I've gone by the alias Comic for a few years now. I was extremely active of Twitter during the height of the DreamSMP fandom. My time in this community brought me many memories and experience. Both good and bad. Today, I just want to focus on the art.

In my opinion and experience the art community of the DSMP fandom was so incredibly toxic. Artists were the backbone of the community. It was said time and time again. But this held many artists to unfair expectations. The turn around on art was insane. If art was not posted directly after or the day after the stream/ event it would flop. Posts would circulate about the perfect posting times, which I would memorize, then be so sad when I'd post at those times and a price would still fail. I'd blame myself. I'd internalize it and think I just wasn't good enough. It was never my art. It was simply the shit algorithm that is any social media, but that didn't stop me of course.

And I watched so many young artists beg for followers, because validation meant everything. And we all wanted to be mutuals with the popular, big twitters because that meant we'd made it... right?

I watched followers drop and people ask if they'd done something wrong to deserve it because canceling was so common. It was usually just bots being deleted, but "what if I did something wrong" was always everyone's go to.

Going back to artists being the backbone of the community and pumping out content. I used to say how thankful I was for the community because it made me grow and find my style. But in reality, I only found my style once I stepped back and took time on a piece. I was just slapping shit together back then. I hated most of what I made during that time. It was all rushed. Because no one gave me time. I always felt so rushed to post something so it gets attention. Post something so my followers don't think Im leaving. Because if you took too long to post (more than a week) you'd start losing people. I was a small artist and craved that attention... So I forced myself to create, even if I had no ideas. It's pushed me into burn out.

I'd compare myself to other artists who somehow created masterpieces in like two hours when it took me ages to do anything. I compared myself to everyone and hated everything I did. It was incredibly unhealthy.

I've only just now started making things I enjoy again.

Even when I switched fandoms I was still in the mindset of pushing out art, so I hate it all.

Only after burning myself out can I now restart and find my style... Can I now actually create again.

And I know that's just the culture of social media. and people used to tell me "just don't care" "just don't look at the views". do you know how hard it is to be a 16, 17, even 18 years old and NOT look at that??? to be a new artist and NOT care how much attention your art gets??? when a content creator that you love can see your fanart and has actually seen it.. all humans want is validation. Social media prys on that toxic need. On that innate human need. Cause yeah, we all want to know that what we're doing looks good, but holy shit was that place bad.

And I KNOW I'm not the first person to say this. I'm just trying to share my experience and I'm putting all this disclaimer here in case... So please just check yourself and remember we're all human. Social media is kinda awful and this is literally just my blog to share long thoughts and archive who I am. My time on social media fucked me up a little and I'm just now realizing it. That's what all this is.

So yeah all this to say, I'm done posting my art on social media for now. I'm done pumping out art just for the sake of it. When I create something worth sharing, I'll post it. But for now, I'll be in my comfortable void. I'm around and always willing to chat about the art making process or just chat in general. I'm creating. I always have been. I'm just not sharing it. It's not for your eyes.

It will be when im ready.

And new artists, young artists, any artists; your worth is not determined by the views or likes a post gets. Your art is worth more than any amount of attention it gets on social media. Don't create for attention. Create because you enjoy it. Create for yourself. That's where the magic happens.

thanks for reading. sorry this is long. I'm very wordy. thanks for being here.

- Comic

#dsmp #dsmp fandom #<- for reach #art community

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behindthewox · 2 months

Note

Don’t you think that when you’re cyber bullying Dan, and trying to throw him under the bus, it will lead to more people doing the same thing?

Dan has created an incredible community with a lot of amazing people, but trash talking him and the community he has created is just ruining the fun. A lot of us LOVE the community. A lot of us appreciate all the hard work Dan has put into this. A lot of us understand that it’s impossible for him to share everything with the community.

Bugs happens and it’s not always easy to estimate how long it will take to fix, but complaining about it and spreading negative energy is just awful. I’m sure Dan is doing everything he can for us, even if he gets bullied by you and a lot of other people.

If we look at the mail he got from the WoP MoM/HM, I totally understand his response. If people would go together instead of communicating with me, I would probably have lost my trust in my staff as well. If you would have gotten the mail from the WoP MoM/HMs, how would you have reacted?

I'm not sure where the cyberbullying accusations come from, but I firmly believe that they are unfounded and you're just grabbing a negative term that evokes an emotional response in an attempt to make others think badly of me. Look up the definition of bullying and compare it to the definition of criticising, and see if you can still confidently accuse me of the former.

I have been a bit harsh and personal with my critique recently but criticising and voicing opinions about a public person and/or a person of authority is not bullying. If you're referring to the paragraph about talking shit about Dan, that was rhetorical and never intended to be a call to action. Maybe I should've clarified that, but it's not regular practise to add disclaimers explaining that rhetoric methods were used and pathos isn't meant to be taken literally.

(this is a long response, click the "read more" for the rest of it)

I don't know what your experience within WoX is, but mine includes several years of being a site leader and working closely with site leaders, who occasionally share their experiences. I've seen and heard a lot through the years, both good and bad. I'm sure Dan does what he thinks is the best for the sites, but what he thinks is best isn't always what's actually best and we've seen his strategies fail over and over again. So forgive me for being sceptical, I just have too much insight not to see his flaws.

If I was at the receiving end of the long letter of criticism from the WoP MoMs and HMs, I would've had a lot of feelings about it and I would've taken a step back to process it before taking any action. I would've taken my time with a response, considering each point they made and tried to look at it from their point of view. I'd question myself and my actions, and considered what had led to this situation and whether I could've prevented it or not. Once I regained the ability to be more rational than emotional, I would've called for a meeting to start working things out. My anxiety would be through the roof the whole time but I'd do my best to get through it and put my feelings to the side so I could be rational and make rational, strategic decisions.

This is something my mum always said: you should never make major decisions when you're in an emotional state. You need to be rational when making consequential decisions and feelings aren't rational. Feelings aren't permanent and once they pass, you might no longer agree with your previous thoughts. It's easy to think "I will just fire everyone" when you're angry, but once you think about it more rationally you'll probably see that it's not the best idea.

#wox #wox site

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yourlocalartsonist · 10 months

Text

ROTTMNT Moths Fly In Packs - Chapter Seven

A/N: Please kill me my soul has left my body writing this god forsaken LONG ASS CHAPTER but hey it was very worth it imo. Uh sorry for the month long wait. I think the AO3 writer curse found me and my poor beta reader since shit kept happening to both of us delaying this chapter even more. But hey! It's finally out, so I hope y'all enjoy while I go lay down bye- Credit to: @sweaterrat for being my beloved beta reader! Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Chapter One

Disclaimer: Chapter involves obsessive behavior, obessive language, demeaning language, injuries, manipulation, degrading language, bullying, shaming over having emotions, panic attacks, spiraling thoughts, gross creepy motherfuckers, recorded without consent, slight physical harassment, implied verbal harassment, getting restrained, uncomfy thoughts, self-degrading language, light s*icidal thoughts, violence, and curse words. This one's a heavy chapter folks so if you're sensitive to that stuff, scroll past and stay safe!

—

Alright, Salena. You got this. Just remember: if you’re quick and quiet, he won’t notice you. ‘Tis the rules of ninja stealth mode, baby!

Finally back at school but am I gonna face my problems? Nope! I’ve decided to take Splinter’s advice on just doing things when I’m ready. Even though sometimes I feel like I’ll never be ready. Every time I even thought about talking to Jaiden or Zane, I’d find myself getting strangely mad. I know I’ll screw things up if I talk with a temper.

But hey! That’s not my focus right now, anyway. I’ve been searching for a good opportunity to finally meet and talk to Draxum today! It turns out the world really is fucking miniature since he works at April’s old high school - aka my current one - as that scary mean lunch aid everyone fears to death. Who knew, right? I’m hoping I can make a good impression on him today! And maybe possibly get my very own weapon but that’s totally not my first priority at all…

I already planned to skip study hall to try and sneak into the kitchen. I know that lunch is next period but Draxum gets pretty busy when he actually has to work so I'd rather not bother him during those moments. Besides, it’s May! I would’ve spent my study hall sitting there doing jackshit, anyway, so I doubt the teachers care if I’ll be missing. There’s just one hurdle to my otherwise flawless plan. The reason I’m perched up on top of the fluorescent light trying not to cry from how dirty it is up here instead of in the kitchen by now: Zane’s been tailing me all damn morning.

He and I share a study hall so not seeing me there probably prompted him to run out looking for me. Guess I can’t blame him too much, I haven’t really talked to him or Jaiden so I know he’s just worried. But my god, the dude’s more annoying than an actual hall monitor right now. I’ve lost track of how long this little cat and mouse game’s gone on.

I watched in agony waiting for Zane to pass by. He stopped, looked both ways, and turned the corner, successfully convinced I wasn’t right above him. Man, I knew parkour would come in useful someplace but never have I ever thought that place would be in school.

I victoriously hopped off the pretty bright light and bolted towards the cafeteria, checking behind me to make sure Zane didn’t come back this way. I can’t wait to finally meet Drax and get my very own weapon! I hope it’s something cool! I mean, I don’t even know how it’s supposed to be picked but holy hell I am so excited and everything’s playing out so perfectly right now I genuinely can’t believe-

“Oof!”

Of course, I accidentally ran into someone. So much for ninjocity. The poor guy fell to his knees, and rubbed his head, messing up his fluffy black hair.

“Omigosh are you okay!? I am so so so sorry!” I stepped closer to him, reaching out my hand. “Here, let me help you up.”

“Argh… yeah, thank y-“

He stopped mid-sentence, wide teal eyes staring right at me. His expression looked strange, it wasn’t happy but it wasn’t sad either. Or actually, it was a little? He’s not saying anything or moving, it seems like he’s about to simultaneously laugh and cry.

But maybe I’m reading too deep into it, he could just be in shock or something.

“Um… I hope I didn’t bump into you too hard. Are you gonna take my hand…?”

“O-oh, right, sorry! I uh… I spaced out.”

“Don’t worry, totally get that!” I laughed, pulling him to his feet. “Ya know, I don’t recognize you. Are you new here?”

“Yeah, I actually just joined today, tenth grade! My name is Ca-”

“There you are!” A hand grabbed my shoulder from behind.

“Z-Zane!?”

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Salena!” His arm wrapped around my shoulder, possessively holding me close while shooting daggers at the stranger. It doesn’t take Einstein to figure out what message he’s trying to send. “Hey there, new guy. Nice to see you again. I didn’t know you and Salena already met.”

“We just bumped into each other, that was it.” He turned towards me, his look switching back from hostile to friendly “So, it’s Salena?”

I wanted to respond but got cut off as always “Oh, getting bold now, are we? What, just because you’re new you think you’re some kind of hotshot?”

“What? No, I’m literally just talking.”

“I know, that’s what I’m saying. Don’t talk to her at all.”

“Uh, why? You’ve been rude to me the entire time in class and now you’re trying to monitor who I talk to? Honestly, what is your problem?”

“My problem is cute guys like you who think they can do whatever they want with whoever they want just because they look good! I’m warning you now if you try to play any mind games on her, you’ll be hating every fucking second of being alive.”

Fucksake, what is he doing? “Zane, come on, you’re being extra.”

“Salena, don’t.”

“But-”

“Just don’t! You’re too nice to everyone and never know what’s good for you!” As he said that, I glanced over and saw the new guy looking at me with expecting eyes. Zane turned to him shortly after. “And you, stay away from her, got it? I’ll say this once and only once: she’s not interested.”

“Dude, why are you getting so worked up? I’m trying to talk to Salena, not you. I want to befriend them. It’s their choice if they don’t want that and I’ll respect it. But you don’t get to decide that!”

“Yeah, okay, look at you trying to white knight the situation. Look, Salena might be naive but I’m not!” Ah, there it is again! If the word naive were a person, I’d be on death row by now! “I know exactly what you’re trying to do, you little freak, and it’s not gonna work, ya hear me?”

“Zane, stop!” He was starting to get way too physically close to him and way too metaphorically close to breaking my patience. “He’s new to the school, we just met! Why are you acting like this? You’re being mean for no reason!”

“No reason? You haven’t said anything to me the entire day, Jaiden texts saying you’ve avoided them too, and now I just happened to find you here giggling with the new transfer and you’re telling me there’s nothing funny going on?”

I groaned. As much as I felt tempted to clock him in the face, I didn’t feel like dealing with the aftermath of having to somehow make it up to him. For now, gotta focus on making sure the new guy doesn’t pop a blood vessel on his very first day. Defeated, I reached out and grabbed Zane’s shoulders, keeping him facing towards me.

“Of course, there’s nothing going on! Hey, I’m gonna talk to other people but you and Jaiden are still gonna be my best friends.” My hand signaled the boy behind him to run while he could. “I’m not gonna just replace you guys for no good reason!”

“Then why were you avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding, I just… I had something important to do, alright?” At least that’s only half a lie.

“Oh really? Important with some guy who just transferred here?”

FOR THE LOVE OF- “Ugh, no, I told you I ran into him by accident! Like, literally ran into him. The important task is something else.” I peeked behind him, noticing the boy left. “And speaking of that, I gotta dash! It’s time sensitive so… yeah!”

“Huh? W-wait!”

You bet your ass I skedaddled away from him as soon as I could. I finally entered the cafeteria, resuming my mission from before. It’s quite empty, a stark difference from what I’m used to. You could probably hear a pin drop in here. I decided it got too eerie, so I took a page out of Mikey’s book and proceeded to swing the kitchen doors open in the loudest, most obnoxious way I could, getting greeted with a scream followed by a very annoyed groan.

“Oh, it’s one of you annoying brats. I thought I had to be worried for a second.” He didn’t roll his eyes but he might as well have, honestly.

“Sorry! I just wanted to ask-” I paused, looking past his body and catching a glimpse of something he was trying to hide. “What’s that behind your back?”

“Nothing that concerns you. And shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Eh, it’s study hall so skipping’s not a huge deal.”

He sighed “Do what you want, kid, but why insist on pestering me? Can’t you see I’m busy enough?”

“Oh! Right! My bad.” I lightly bumped into the door frame as I walked inside “Um, so like… I was just wondering, do you happen to know a Baron Draxum around here?”

The purple vines swiftly tangled around my waist, snatching me from the ground and suspending me in the air while a couple others pointed sharp at my head.

“How do you know that name!? Who sent you, tiny assassin?”

“Yo yo yo, chill, chill! I’m a friend! O-of the turtles! Ya know, your sons or something?”

He scoffed “Likely story! Those idiots get themselves a new ‘friend’ every week. Tell me, assassin, if you’re on such friendly terms with them then why would you refer to me as Baron Draxum? They don’t call me that anymore!”

“Dude, I dunno! I wanted to somehow indicate that I knew about the whole Yōkai ordeal and I thought if I called you Barry you’d think I was just another kid, ya know?”

“And why exactly wouldn’t you just say that?”

“...Good point. You know what, I did not think this through. And actually, thinking about it now, it honestly makes way more sense you’re a Yōkai! I mean, the occasional random vines in the flooring, the weird forestry state of the kitchen, yada yada. But I guess I just thought you were some sort of extreme nature lover or something, ya get me?”

SHING!

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” I looked at my arms and gasped “Wait! I can prove it! My arm-wrap-glove-thingies!”

“What about them?”

“They’re Genius Tech, a gift from Donnie!” I took one of them off and threw it, landing on his eyes with a splat. “See? Donnie wouldn’t give me these if we weren’t friends! O-or at least close acquaintances on friendly terms! So ha!”

He inspected the clothing, grunting when he saw the all too familiar logo “...Fine. I suppose he wouldn’t let a thief get away with all their limbs intact. But why are you even wearing these in school?”

“…They go with my aesthetic, okay?”

“That was rhetorical, I didn’t actually care.” He finally set me down, not looking any less bit irritated, though. “Now, what do you want? I don’t have all day for your childsplay.”

“A weapon!”

“What?”

“I want a weapon!” I beamed at him, instinctively flapping my hands. “Like the ones the guys and April have! April told me they all got their first weapons from you since you’ve got a whole stash of them! So, I was wondering if I could get one, too? Please?”

“Of course you are.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering to himself. “And for the record they didn’t get their weapons, they stole them! But anyway, I can’t help you even if I actually wanted to. My weapons are down in the Hidden City, I cannot simply wish them into existence.”

Darn. “Well… is there some way to portal down there maybe? Mikey and Leo can open portals so maybe you can too?...”

“As a matter of fact, I can.”

“Great! Then lets-”

“Not doing that, though.”

“What!?” At this point, I feel like he’s just dicking with me for the sake of it. “Oh come on, you’re supposed to be some sort of great mystic warrior alchemist guy! Surely you can do something to help me?”

“Listen, kid. Barry Draxum has far too much work to do to take some random student on a lab tour, especially just to get them a weapon to fit in with their friends. Go away and stop bothering me.”

He walked past me to start prepping for lunch next period, his towering height only further emphasizing his authority. Still, I’m not backing down. Not this time.

“I’m not trying to fit in. I know you’re busy but I’m not asking this for shits and giggles. I want a weapon to keep me safe! My life has been one chaotic run-in after another with mutants and giant cats and every time has had at least one near-death experience guaranteed! Look! I’ve even got the scars to prove it!”

I held up my left arm, the bandage now visible with my arm wrap off. “Something bad almost happened last time and I got everyone worried. I just wanna make sure I don’t have to constantly need protection and burden them again. I wanna be useful, you know?”

He glanced at my arm and sighed. He may act like he didn’t give a rat’s ass but looking more carefully, it’s clear a part of him might’ve softened a little.

“I’m not opening a portal and I mean that, I promised Mikey and O’Neil I wouldn’t use my mystic powers on the surface. With that being said, however…”

Draxum walked back to where I initially found him crouching when I came here, beckoning me to join him. I gasped when he opened the cupboard, revealing two giant blades hidden in them.

“Wow…”

“You’re lucky you came at the perfect time.” He took them out, gripping the seafoam green handles. “Usually, a warrior such as I would be entrusted with the safekeeping of numerous weaponry. But after gaining a criminal record, the Council decided I wouldn’t be allowed any more than I currently have.”

“Then… how’d you get this one?”

He scoffed, “Obviously, I stole it. Besides, I wouldn’t have been able to obtain them even with the Council on my side. These don’t belong to them.” He proudly presented the weapons, the silver blades shining in the light. “They’re a privately owned contraption, made by a very famous pristine Family in the Hidden City. No one outside them owns these sickles except now, of course, me.”

“Hold up, these giant things are sickles? Aren’t those, like, usually way tinier and kinda useless compared to other ninja weapons?”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“Well, this beggar can and will.” I pointed at myself, skeptical he was still trying to sell me short. “I’ve done my fair share of research on weaponry, sickles are lame! Their blades can barely do shit and they’re way too close range to keep the wielder safe.”

“Stop sassing me, child, I’ve done my own fair share of more accurate research. These are mystic sickles, they will be different from your pathetic human tools.”

He began polishing them while continuing his rambles. “If you’re concerned about their sharpness, then you’ll be satisfied to know their blades can change by the user’s will. One minute, they’re strong enough to slice diamond and the next minute, they can’t even shatter glass. And all my sources confirmed they can turn the wielder invisible for varying periods of time, depending on their strength. It’s incredibly difficult coming across any information on them, but apparently, they were made to manipulate reality.”

“Apparently? I won’t lie, this all sounds legitimately cool and stuff but like, have you ever tested them out? Why’s all this just based on research when you have the weapon itself?”

“They don’t work from my touch.” Bruh.

“Come again?”

“These sickles are the only weapons that don’t seem to activate when I use them. So, my offer to you is if you can get these to work, I’ll allow you to own them permanently as long as you send me any new information you gain on them.”

“Oh, joy! You think that I - the ordinary human person - can get these things to work when you - the mystic magic Yōkai guy - cant?” I sighed, scratching my head before ultimately reaching out. “You know what, fine. Even if I get scammed, it’s worth a shot.”

He plopped them into my hands as I fell forward, grunting from the weight. Jeez, I can barely even pick these up. “God, for a scientist you sure are pretty bad at educated guesses- Woah!”

I flinched and stepped back when the sickles suddenly sharted floating in the air. Draxum copied my actions, both of us staring intently at them. The pink details on the handle lit up, spiraling around the grips and spreading to the blades, shining it all in a soft aura of the same hue. A part of me felt drawn to the light, as if it were calling me. I realize how incredibly stupid that sounds but in the moment, that didn’t really matter.

I reached out and held the sickles again, the aura spreading to me before fading away. They felt much lighter now, I can actually hold them with ease! The silver blades got dipped in deep, dark pink. If a rose could bleed, it’d be that color.

“Fascinating…” He adjusted his glasses. “Seems like my guess wasn’t so stupid after all, was it?” He smirked at me, genuinely emoting this time.

“I… I guess not. Aight, I’m sold! Although, I feel like the sickles chose me more than I chose them.” So, like a person getting claimed by a stray cat, I had no choice but to keep them.

“Wonderful, these are now yours, congratulations.” He held me by the shoulders and pushed me out the kitchen. “And remember, update me on any and every new bit of information you learn while using this. It was nice to meet you, blah blah blah, now don’t bother me during work ever again.”

He closed the door and almost instantly the school bell rang. I jumped, frantically shoving the sickles into my backpack right as people started coming in through the doors for lunch. I had no idea this much time passed. I should probably get out of here before-

“Salena?”

I’ve been jinxing myself a lot today, haven’t I? Jaiden’s standing right in front of me now. Might as well leap off a cliff and call it quits, to be honest.

“H-Hey…”

“Quite the busy gal today, aren’t you.” They’re speaking slowly, this isn’t a good sign.

“Oh, um, yeah, kinda. I just had to take care of something.”

“Cool, I guess.”

We both stood there awkwardly. My chest feels so heavy. Jaiden’s barely looking at me but I swear if they did I’d downright die from their glare. What do I even do? How do I face this?

Just… run away. You’re… you’re good at that. So run away.

“…I need to go.”

“What? Okay, that’s it. What is up with you? You didn’t come to school Monday or yesterday and you’ve avoided me all of today. Now when I finally catch up to you, you have to go?”

“I just got into a small accident, is all. I had to stay home.” Not like you tried to reach out, anyway.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why didn’t you ask?”

They groaned at me. I don’t usually bicker back but the way Jaiden was treating this, as if they don’t know what they did, it’s just… it’s just getting to me. I don’t want to be like this but it’s getting to me.

“Salena, snap out of it, will you? You’ve been acting so pissy, lately! I literally didn’t even do anything!”

My body chose to scoff “Yeah, not with me, that’s for sure.”

They squinted at me, only half understanding what I meant. “Are you… mad we didn’t hang out this weekend?” They facepalmed, framing me as the idiot for being upset over that. “Dude, you can’t be serious, I said something came up! It’s not like I totally ghosted you or anything!”

It’s not like you totally ghosted me?

“...Jaiden, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Why not?”

Shut up.

“I don’t feel okay talking about this.”

“Oh really? Like how you never feel okay confronting anything? What, do you just expect me to drop this because her highness isn’t feeling okay?”

My face feels boiling hot, I can’t help clenching my fists. I’m trying to breathe. Everything will be okay if I just breathe.

“A-are you crying? Ugh, seriously? It’s like all you ever know is how to run away or cry! We’re not thirteen anymore, just grow up!”

Stop.

“It was annoying when you were such an emotional crybaby back then but now it’s just getting ridiculous!”

STOP.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Don’t tell me you’re upset that I’m right. That you’d rather selfishly push this to the side instead of just dealing with it like a normal person!”

Why are you being so mean?

“Salena, say something already! Stop with the pity party, the world doesn’t revolve around you-“

“I SAID SHUT UP!”

They did.

I didn’t mean to say that.

I don’t know for how long, but somehow I tuned out the noisy cafeteria, my ears bugged with a faint buzz. My eyes were fixed on them, and theirs on me. In all our five years of friendship, I’ve never not once yelled at Jaiden before.

“…Who even are you?…”

Those words sting. They sting because they’re right. Who am I?

“Moni! Reeves!” Draxum’s voice snapped me out of my daze. “Stop standing in the middle of my cafeteria and causing traffic!”

I guess that was our cue to sit down. And continue. Even though I don’t want to.

“Where do you think you’re headed, Moni?” For whatever reason he was still yelling at me from behind the food rack.

“T-to go find a seat?”

“I told you to head to the nurse! If that cut you got while helping me in the kitchen gets infected thanks to your horrid luck, I’ll be held responsible. So go there right now!”

Huh?…

“Y-yeah, sorry, I’m going.” I rushed out before Jaiden could say anything more. I’m a little shocked he was listening, even more so that he actually helped me.

Whatever, I’m just grateful for the excuse to get away.

I gently touched my heated forehead.

Plus, maybe going to the nurse isn’t such a bad idea, anyway.

***

The shiny streets reflected my steps as I took in the familiar damp scent. The gray fog left over after rain always gave the city a different vibe.

I got sent home early by the nurse. Apparently, another panic attack arose after talking with Jaiden. The nurse took pity on me when she realized and got me the rest of the day off, giving me a pass and everything. Told me to go home and take it easy. Come back tomorrow when I’m feeling better. I laughed at the memory. Oh, if only they knew going home meant the exact opposite.

So instead, I’m out here. Wandering in New York in its post-rainy weather to clear my mind. Maybe that’s why I keep having these thoughts. I don’t usually dwell on the whole shitty situation of my life. But right now, in the colorless skies and the somber silence, I can’t help but feel pathetic.

A pebble found its way into my boots. Annoying. I didn’t feel like dealing with it, though, so I just kept walking.

I walked more and more and more, trying to forget being present. Trying to forget this stupid mess I somehow got myself into. Wordlessly wandering, hoping the city would just swallow me whole so I wouldn’t be seen. I feel sick and ashamed but so enraged at the same time. How could they still continue to play dumb? After seeing me like that they pretended to know absolutely nothing. I’m not misreading anything, am I? What if I got the situation wrong? I can’t tell if I’d be happy Jaiden didn’t actually ditch me, or depressed I’d have yelled at them for nothing. They’re right but they’re wrong but they’re right. Or, at least I think they’re right? Maybe that’s wrong. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. But that could mean so many things. What am I even talking about? What’s-

“Hello? Anyone there?” A pale hand waved in front of my eyes. I glanced up at its owner. “Welcome back to Earth, sweetheart.”

A tall blonde boy stood in front of me, a couple other boys whom I can only presume were his friends looked down at me with him.

“H-h-hi?...” My brain, still adjusting back to reality, only spoke in stammers “C-can I help you?”

One of his friends chuckled “We were wondering the same thing. You were just walking blindly into a dead end!”

For the first time since god knows when, I scanned my surroundings realizing I have no clue where the fuck I am. Somehow, I wandered into an alley, not too deep but still pretty disorienting. There’s a wall behind them, I guess that was the dead end they’re talking about. Two of them snickered while looking at a phone.

“You seriously recorded her?”

“Course I did. I knew girls were ditzy but this? She ran into a building, like, three times! And apologized to it!” Okay, I admit, not my best moment but still, feels a little weird for them to record it. I wonder how long they were filming before deciding to actually check in on me.

“Guys, stop. You’ll make her run away.” The blonde boy spoke again. “Don’t worry kitten, we’re not here to hurt you. You just looked lost. If you want some help finding your way, we’d be glad to assist!”

…I know he’s not saying anything inherently wrong, but the way he speaks makes my skin crawl. There’s something about his tone. It’s sweeter than it should be. That specific type of sweetness no human being shows without having ulterior motives.

His gaze grew more intense. “Do I… know you?” I don’t like how close his face is to mine.

A part of me got suspicious, too. We might indeed know each other. Or at least, I might know him. Blonde hair, green eyes, creepy as shit. But it’d be ridiculous if he’s actually who I think he is. I mean, not every blonde white guy’s gonna be related to-

“I do know you! You’re that cutie my brother keeps talking about!”

Yep, it’s him. Because my luck couldn’t get any worse, I ran into Cole Evans, Zane’s freakshow older brother.

No wonder my fight or flight feels triggered.

Play it cool. “I think you have me mistaken for someone else. And thank you, but I’m not lost.”

Right as I turned around to leave, my shoulders pricked up. He put his grimy hands on them, firmly grasping onto them as if any of this is fucking okay. “Oh, don’t be like that! What’d he say your name was… Salena, right? You think I’m as boring as Zane or something?” He spoke too close to my ear. My legs are trembling, aching to run. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. “Why’re you being such a killjoy, hm? You know I’m not that much older than you, right?”

I need to go.

I spun around and elbowed his side as hard as I could, forcing him to stumble back. I desperately wanted to sprint but his friends blocked my path, grabbing my wrists when I tried reaching for the blades hidden in my backpack. They were laughing and poking fun at Cole and he himself didn’t seem all too phased either, straightening up as the pain died down.

“Let me go!”

“Seems like she’s more tiger than kitten aye, Cole?”

“Good thing I like the feisty ones.”

I thrashed around kicking and stomping, trying to hit anything I could or at least break free but nothing was working. They’re dodging everything and the grip on my wrists only gets tighter. All the while they’re mocking me like I’m a dog or something. Is this just a sick joke to all of them?

“Aww, look at her! Is that really the best you can do to fight back?”

I need to keep trying, I need to find a way out. But they have me trapped. I can barely move around. I can’t dodge, I can’t run. I don’t know how to fight, I’m useless if I can’t run. What do I do? What do I do?

BAM!

I didn’t realize how unstable my balance was. Not until I found myself fallen on the ground finally able to freely move my wrists. The guy restraining me earlier was now groaning on the ground too, holding the freshly bruised side of his face in agony.

“You wanna fight? Then pick on someone my size!”

“Raph?...” I watched from the ground, mouth hanging open.

Without hesitation, Raph charged at them. They were cocky at first but the atmosphere quickly shifted after seeing how powerful the “person” in the gray hoodie was. I don’t even blame them, I’ve never seen him punch anyone so hard before. He’d slam them into everything: the walls, the ground, I might’ve even heard bones crack. He’s taking all of them on.

Meanwhile, I’m here uselessly watching.

I should help. I want to help. I know he’s strong but there’s a good number of them and they’re not exactly weaponless. But what do I do? What could I do? I have my sickles but what if I make things worse? What if things get too messy, what if things go too far? If the police get involved-

Wait, an opening!

They’re so distracted dealing with Raph, no one’s blocking the way out!

Run! JUST RUN!

“Come on!” I grabbed Raph’s hand the first opportunity I could and fled from the scene, him confused but not stopping us.

We ran for what felt like forever. Just chose a direction and bolted, not much logic behind it. If anything, it felt like pure instinct. Traffic lights and stop signs didn’t seem to matter to me and frankly, I’m surprised we didn’t get run over. We only stopped when my lungs gave out and forced me to gasp for air.

Raph seemed fine, a little concerned, but fine. “You okay? Was passing by and heard ya scream. When I ran in, I found ‘em surrounding you.”

“Y-yeah, I’m just… I just, I-I don’t know. Sorry, can I just have a minute?” I continued heaving in the air, can’t tell if it was from running so much or another god forsaken panic attack.

Regardless, Raph stayed crouching by me as I held my throbbing head, trying to not cry. He's quiet but attentive, noticeably making an effort to avoid physical contact for now. Strangely enough, his presence alone is making me feel better.

I steadied my breathing “Th-thanks for jumping in, Raph. Um… sorry I couldn’t, ya know, handle it myself.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Not your fault those creeps were messing with you.”

“Still…” I wish I did more.

And just like that, my breathing progress backtracked “Sorry I… A-a lot happened today. Too much too soon and I have no clue how to just… Gosh, I don’t even know, I-I guess get it out?”

“Uhh, well uh…” His eyes lit up “Ooh! Actually, I’ve got a good way to deal with that kinda stuff, if you don’t mind comin’ over to the lair for a bit!”

“Oh, um, really? You wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not! Plus, Raph could use the company, anyway.”

Well, I’d definitely be safer in the lair than out here.

I gave a weak smile “Alrighty then. I’m down!”

He reached for my hand, only taking it when he was sure it was okay. We walked along the city streets for a while. His large hand practically engulfed mine, I felt like a little kid next to their big brother. Is it weird to say I feel a little safer that way?

We reached the lair, entering through a manhole and strolling till we reached an abandoned subway track. The familiar scent shot back to my brain. It’s strong but not overwhelming.

“Here we are! Home sweet home!”

It’s surprisingly empty today. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Probably doing their own thing. Hopefully safe. Raph, uh, doesn’t like thinkin’ about it too much.”

“Then Salena shall not question! So um… what exactly are we gonna do?-”

“Catch!”

I stumbled back in shock, peering down as whatever he threw now landed in my arms. They’re… boxing gloves?

“The fuck?”

“We’re gonna deal with your thoughts the best way I know: by punching ‘em in the face!”

I blinked as I realized he’s being completely and entirely serious. I hesitated at first, but then I really gave it a good thought. I’ve read before that working out can boost your mood. A little harmless violence is a strangely good way to let out anger, especially. Plus, if I make a habit of this, I might be able to boost my strength along with it! Then I wouldn’t have to solely depend on running all the time!

“Worth a shot!” I finally shrugged in acceptance and put on the boxing gloves, staring at the bag in front of me. “Do I just go ahead and punch it?”

“Yep, basically! But when you do, try thinking about whatever’s bugging ya and pretend it’s the bag. It’ll help you smash harder and make ya feel better!”

“Okie dokers, here I go.”

Smack!

I gave it a light punch to test it out, making sure to catch the bag as it swung back so it didn’t punch me instead. It hurts a little since I’m not used to the impact on my fist but it’s nothing that makes me scream and writhe in pain.

“Good job for your first hit, Salena! Now try and put some more force into it!”

I repeated my actions but with a stronger punch like he instructed. I kept doing it until I got a decent enough rhythm I could keep up with. So now it’s time for the second and arguably harder part: letting my thoughts out. I don’t really wanna think about the… situation in the street. So I guess what’s left is thinking about Jaiden instead. Ugh.

Smack!

Where do I even begin with this? I mean, I can’t even properly figure out how I’m feeling, let alone word it. All I know is that there’s a shit ton of guilt associated with it. I never meant to yell at Jaiden, it just sorta happened.

Smack!

But it’s not like it came out of nowhere, either! They’re the one who ditched me! Jaiden and I planned ahead of time to meet up and hang out, I made it explicitly clear I missed them and wanted to be with them. They said they were busy and didn’t even give me a reason for it! And then they hang out with Zane the same day? They basically chose him over me!

Smack!

But I shouldn’t have yelled either. I made things so much worse now, it’ll be too awkward to ever bring it up. They’ll just tell me off for getting mad and completely ignore everything else. God this is so frustrating!

SMACK!

Why did I have to be so stupid? Why did they have to be so mean? The things they said and the things I did! It’s all spinning around in a giant whirlpool of bad and dangerous thoughts and I hate it! I can’t stop thinking about it and I hate it! Have I been a bad friend? Is Zane that much better than me? Am I just not interesting? What did I do for them to just ditch me!

SMACK!

We’re best friends, why are we acting like this!? I let my temper get the best of me! I yelled at them, I fucking yelled at them! I’m mad and upset but fuck I yelled at them! I’ve never yelled at Jaiden before. We’re best friends. How could I do that!?

SMACK!!

I’m awful! I’m terrible! I feel like an asshole! I am an asshole! I should know better! I do know better! How could I fuck up so badly!? How could I do this!? How!? How!? HOW!? I DESERVE TO FUCKING-

“Salena!”

SMACK!!!

Raph’s arm went in between me and the bag, taking the hit in my place. I know he’s strong but judging from how loud the crash was, I doubt it didn’t at least sting.

“That was close. Everything okay? Why’d you stop punching? If the bag hit you it could’ve done some serious damage!”

“I didn’t realize I did…” I ran my hand through my hair, sighing heavily. “Ugh, fuck! Sorry, Raph. I don’t think I’m in the right headspace to do this. It’s just making everything feel more clouded than before.”

He stared at the bag for a moment. “Alright, well…” Then he let it rest, and faced me with his fists up. “We’ll spar instead.”

I tilted my head to the side, communicating my confusion.

“The whole point of this thing is to let your thoughts out, maybe if you’re just thinkin’ about it, it’s still keeping it in. If you’re cool with it, we could try talking instead of only venting while we fight and it might clear things up!” He chuckled lightly. “And don’t worry, Raph goes easy on first-timers.”

Honestly, he might actually have a point with that. “I’m open to trying!”

We’re starting off with some light jabs at each other. I felt a little out of place fighting Raph, partly cause I don’t like hitting him and partly cause I’m terrified to let him hit me. I’ve been dodging and blocking decently enough, though. HIs punches feel way lighter than normal so he wasn’t kidding about going easier.

“So, tell me. What’s bothern’ ya so much today?”

“It’s kinda my friend. I think I did something since they hadn’t talked to me much for days. And then one day when we were supposed to finally hang out, they told me something came up.” I punched a little harder, getting blocked by his forearm. “And then I found out that ‘something’ was them hanging out with our other friend who posted it on Instagram! They totally ditched me!”

He jabbed at my right, barely missing when I dodged. “Did you try talking to them? Could be a misunderstanding.”

“That’s the thing, every time I wanted to I just kept getting so mad thinking about it. And then when it actually happened, I wasn’t prepared and I screamed. They were being kinda mean but still, I never yelled at Jaiden before.”

The pace picked up some more. Raph’s hits were getting quicker and harder to dodge, I’ve had to shield myself more often. He did leave some opportunities, though. I’m gonna assume it’s on purpose to let me have a few hits but either way, it’s training so I’m gonna take full advantage of that.

“How long have you two been friends?”

“Five years, we’ve known each other since middle school. That’s why it’s killing me inside. You should’ve seen their face Raph, they looked so… shocked! Shocked that I had it in me, that I’m a shitty enough person to yell at my friend!”

“I mean, I get it but, you’re still human. No normal person’s gonna go through life never yelling at their friends.” He swung at me. “And if you’ve been friends so long, why don’t y’all just talk it out? Dontcha think apologizing would help?”

I ducked, narrowly missing it. “I mean, yeah it would, but that’s not gonna stop it from being an issue. Sometimes I’ve had to fight myself really hard to stay calm around Jaiden but I always managed to do it. Now that I blew up, though, it’ll just keep happening.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Anger issues.” I attempted a jab. “I’ve had anger issues growing up.”

“Ah. Yeah, Raph knows a thing or two about that.”

“It sucks because like, I try not to let it show. And I think I’ve done a good job. But everything’s been so overwhelming lately that I’ve been snapping left and right! I keep getting mad and forgetting to control my temper and doing stupid things as a result! It’s so annoying!”

The anger’s helping my punches get faster. I’m barely even focusing on it but I can tell I wasn’t moving this quick earlier. Somehow, I actually managed to land a hit on his plastron, though he didn’t even flinch. Still, it’s definitely helping me build up some power.

Maybe I shouldn’t have celebrated too quickly, though. He countered with a jab at my shoulder, forcing me to pause and regain my stance. He let me take my time, bouncing with his fists up like before and waiting for me to resume the fight. I did so shortly after catching my breath.

“Ya know, I’ve dealt with anger issues growing up, too. It’s why I got into working out so much, it’s a good outlet.” He started blocking more, letting me get a few more hits in to help me practice.

“Yeah, but your brothers love you a lot, you couldn’t have hurt them too bad. If you did, wouldn’t they just hate you?”

He laughed. “You’d be surprised! I was a real problem-child growing up, even worse than Donnie. I mean, I still loved my bros back then and acted the way I do now but… I still had a huge temper and wasn’t as good keeping it in check. Actually speaking of Dee, I did hurt him pretty badly once. Physically.”

My arms were getting tired. “What’d you do? If you’re okay sharing.”

“Well, uh, turns out anger issues and pre-teen hormones don’t mix well. It’s a little fuzzy but I know it was over something dumb. I was having a bad day so I started punching my room’s walls. It made a lotta noise and Donnie came in telling me I was bein’ too loud and it hurt his ears. I shoulda just stopped like he asked me to but I didn’t and started yelling at him and taking my anger out on him. Don didn’t back down, either, so we ended up arguing. I don’t even know how things got so heated but it got physical and I accidentally hit his shell.”

“What!?” I stopped for a moment, trying to take it in. I know Donnie’s a softshell and judging from how hard Raph’s been hitting even now when he’s being light, I could put two and two together. “Sorry that happened, Raphie. For both of you.”

“It’s fine, he wasn’t too badly hurt thankfully.” He threw a punch to signal me to keep going. “But he built his battleshell a few days later. I don’t think it was out of anger towards me, I don’t even think Dee remembers what happened other than us getting into a fight. But it still stung when I figured out why he made it.”

“And why was that?”

“...I think he built it so I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting him again. He knew I felt guilty and I wouldn’t stop apologizin’ to him for days. I think the battleshell was his way to keep himself safe but for my sake more than his.”

Raph began using a more offensive style, letting me play defense and rest my body a little. Perfect timing since I don’t think I would’ve been able to focus on giving strong hits. I’m just trying to process what happened. I knew Raph could get mad easily and shouts a bit. But I’ve never seen him really act violent towards his family, quite the opposite actually. It never even crossed my head that maybe he had to learn this the hard way.

“We’re both past it now and I’ve def gotten better with the whole temper thing. Plus that battleshell’s like, his favorite thing he ever made now. So all’s well that ends well, I guess!”

I slid back, shielding another hit. “Does it… still hurt you to think about it?”

He paused and chuckled. “You kiddin’? Hurts like hell.” Then went right back to fighting.

“So… how’d you do it? You seem so different compared to how you described yourself as a kid. Just… seems like a lot of change.”

“It was! I found better ways to deal with things. I worked out, listened to older songs, that kinda stuff. Still not the best I could be but it’s a work in progress!”

“I already do those things, though. I mean, not working out but like, I’ve got ways to cope with my anger. It just still happened.”

“Then there’s only one thing I can tell ya. It’s the hardest thing but also the most important.”

I freaked out when he swiped his leg at mine, knocking me off balance. I raised my head to look at him crouched by me again.

“Never give up on yourself. If you do that, it’s over.” He picked me up by my shoulders, me weighing absolutely nothing to him, and set me back on my feet. “But ‘till you do that, there’ll always be hope.”

He smiled, the snaggletooth gleaming. “Think we’ve done enough today. You look tired.”

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Truth be told, I didn’t entirely realize how worn out my body was ‘till he pointed it out. “Thanks for, well, helping me out with this stuff. You’re… a good friend, Raph.”

“Anytime.” He pointed at his shell. “Want a ride home?”

I grinned and nodded, my nerves washing away from me. I know from experience this relief is only temporary, but maybe it’s okay to enjoy it anyway.

We had a nice and pleasant walk back to my place, me on his shell as we talked about more lighter topics. He shared a lot about his music taste especially, R&B is his favorite and helps him chill out often. I’ve never given it a try myself but I’m always happy to have an excuse to. I got dropped off at my building’s entrance, strolling in as I thought about the last thing I asked him before bidding him goodbye.

“Raph… do you think I’m a bad person?”

“Not even close. Like I said before, you’re just human.”

I hate to admit it, but there’s a lump in my throat from thinking about it. Weird thing is, I don’t mind it. The elevator’s quiet hum only made this peace more apparent.

Ding!

And there goes my phone ruining that peace once again. I saw the notification, Zane texted. I guess his brother told him about our little “introduction”, if you can even call it that.

Ding!

He also told him about Raph. And he’s mad at me now, asking who the guy in the gray hoodie was. He’s more focused on Raph than on his brother’s bullshit. Lovely.

…You know what, this can wait for another day. One thing at a time, Salena. One thing at a time.

—

Next Chapter

#save rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt oc x canon #rottmnt fanfiction #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt season 3 #nickelodeon #netflix #rottmnt s3 #rottmnt oc #oc x canon #rottmnt x oc #rottmnt moths fly in packs

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stereax · 11 months

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I think MM is cooked, he’s 1 of 2 players to not outright deny his involvement and there’s also the damning picture of him in the hotel room

I'm rolling with the idea of innocent until proven guilty (the report comes out). There's a LOT of moving pieces and we won't know for sure what happened until we get the report - and even then, we don't know how accurate the report will be to what really happened.

Under the cut, I'll explain more. TW we're going to be talking about the 2018 WJC scandal in-depth, so if you're sensitive to sexual assault themes, please don't read forward.

I'm scheduling this post because I'm honestly a little terrified about this one, for (hopefully) obvious reasons. Sorry for the delay on this, in advance. God, fuck, shit, I know this is a bad idea, and I'm reasonably sure this is gonna get me cancelled (as much as a Tumblr account can be cancelled) lol... please be nice?

Before I get into the discussion, a disclaimer: I am not denying the 2018 WJC rape case. I fully believe that it happened. What happened is terrible and disgusting and should never be allowed to exist in professional hockey. I am analyzing one player (Michael/Mikey McLeod) and his possible involvement in said scandal.

Innocent Until Proven Guilty: A Stereanalysis.

Everyone charged with a penal offence has the right to be presumed innocent until proved guilty according to law in a public trial at which he has had all the guarantees necessary for his defence. - United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UN UDHR) Article 11 (look, international relations IS a useful major!)

Let's start off with the (very limited) facts of the case, from the lawsuit: At a gala in London, Ontario, celebrating the 2018 gold medal of the Canada World Junior's team, a woman (EM) meets a hockey player (Player 1). She becomes increasingly drunk and ends up going to Player 1's hotel room. They engage in sex (seemingly, at this point, consensual, though EM is intoxicated and possibly Player 1 is as well - the ethics of drunk sex are not my realm to parse out, and I will not be analyzing whether this specific instance is rape or not, as it is ultimately moot). Player 1 then invites his friends into the hotel room without EM's knowledge or consent. The number varies; in the lawsuit there are eight total players, but police say there are "reasonable grounds" for only five players. Important to note here is that most media says the lawsuit is against eight CHL players, among which 2018 WJC players are included. These five-to-eight players then proceed to sexually assault EM, intimidating her and blocking off exits. EM and her mother soon open a case with the local police on this issue. Player 1, upon being informed of this investigation by Hockey Canada, goes so far as to contact EM through Instagram and beseech her to "put an end to" the investigation.

Yikes.

We've got up to eight players (five that are going to be named in the report, it seems) that have raped EM. At least one of these, and likely several, but presumably not all, are members of the 2018 WJC roster. We will assume that all these facts are accurate.

On the picture: I can't find it anywhere. I'm looking. It doesn't help that seemingly ALL of Reddit is shut off with the API protests. Fire it my way, if you can. I've seen mentions of it in other places, so I will believe it exists, but I'd like to see it.

Mikey not saying anything doesn't mean he was or was not involved, in my opinion. It would be, frankly, stupid, to make comments on the investigation while it's pending. Remember how anything you say can and will be used against you? Exactly. Any legal advisor worth their salt would tell you to say as little as possible in front of the media.

Every other player on that team, barring (I think) Formenton and Batherson (both on the Sens), have denied they did anything. Formenton's contract wasn't re-inked and he's playing in Switzerland. Batherson was wearing an A when there was a recent injury on the Senators' roster. If we go Court of Public Opinion and claim Formenton is guilty and Batherson is innocent, we still have four-to-seven players' names to fill in. And it's entirely possible that none of those players were on the WJC roster.

Now, consider the NHL's position on this. They're just emerging from the wakes of the Kyle Beach scandal. Do they really need a second major sex scandal on their hands? Especially one at the hands of players and not staff? Would it not be easier to simply round up the players reasonably suspected to be part of the sexual assault and explain to them that yeah, you'll be taking a "personal" leave of absence or playing in Europe until this is resolved?

"But Stereax!" you say. "Cale Makar! Carter Hart! Those guys might be involved and they would be protected by the league because they're stars!" To this, I simply say: Mikey is not a star. As much as he plays a vital role on the Devils, he is far from a Jack Hughes-esque kind of player. I'm fairly certain they could Europe him with little or no real issues.

"But Stereax!" you say. "They did so little about Kyle Beach, even though Kane and Toews were publicly implicated! Nothing happened to them, and they're all but proven to have known and done nothing about it!" To this, I once again say: Mikey is not the face of a franchise. He is not a star. In the eyes of hockey, he is a replaceable 4C. You remove him from the team, you can put Shango or Boqvist in as the 4C and shuffle the third line accordingly.

Another thing to note is how, from the very limited information Mikey did give us, he stated that he was working with the authorities. If a person sexually assaulted someone else, and then ended up under an investigation, would that person willingly work with the authorities? Would they go so far as to say that on record? I'm doubtful.

Even if the NHL was to take no action, I sincerely believe that the Devils' organization would have done something if they were aware that Mikey was involved in the scandal. Unlike some organizations in the league (coughcoughRangerswhocough), the Devils tend to do things with general respect for humans. Like Fitz, who took the time to sit down with Severson and basically tell him that we'd love to keep him but he's too expensive, then help engineer the sign-and-trade to Columbus, getting Sevo the extra contract year. From a team that outwardly had a gender equality night, it would seem antithetical to the organization's roots to knowingly shelter a rapist. Hell, why would they write a FEATURE PIECE on McLeod in the playoffs? That's just asking for trouble.

Speaking of the playoffs - the report is dragging on. It's been months since we were promised it. Devils fans had worried that the report, if it would be indicting Mikey, was being postponed until the Devils were out of the playoffs so as not to mess the team up in the middle of their run. The run's been over for a month now. The report still isn't out. That's perhaps a good sign, that the report wasn't being held just so Mikey could have his "last hurrah", so to speak.

Think now about Ben Johnson. When he was found guilty of rape, the Devils terminated his contract basically immediately. Johnson never played for the Devils, splitting time between the AHL and ECHL affiliates (Albany Devils & Adirondack Thunder). Even so, it was a hard-line and immediate stance from the organization in a league that keeps trying to get Mitchell Miller ice time.

Or Jake Virtanen - though he was found not guilty of sexual assault by court, his contract was bought out and then he hauled ass to EHC Visp in the Swiss NL, where he got in enough fights with his teammates that the team basically told their manager they'd walk if he stayed. Recall Virtanen was a 6th overall pick in the NHL, probably the best non-lockout-era player the NL had ever seen, and he was that unpopular and much of a jackass.

Contrast this with Mikey, who the entire team seems to love. Take the Desert Island interviews, where every player asked says they'd take Mikey or Nate (the Superbuddies) or both onto a desert island for entertainment. Or how Luke's first dinner with the Devils was with the Superbuddies, Jack, and Dawson. Or generally how Mikey (and Nate) seem to parent half the young'uns on the team. Is Jack "our parents raised us to believe in gay rights and support the queer community" Hughes going to knowingly associate with a rapist? Is the team, which Jack has outright said was excited and had no issues with pride night and were looking forward to supporting that - is this a team that would all stick by someone who's committed sexual assault? Hockey culture and all, but I'd hope the Devils would be better than that.

And here we get to the most intriguing part of Clouder's Defense, what I call the 7+1 Theory. There have been whispers of this in the media and among circles of those in the know. The 7+1 Theory, most simply, is: Eight players were in the room where it happened. Seven sexually assaulted EM. One walked in and out, "unaware" of what was going on. (How "unaware" is up for debate. Some sources say that Player 8 was unsure whether whatever was happening was consensual and just resolved to stay out of it.) If this is the case, was Player 8 Mikey? We have no way of knowing.

And that's the long and short of it - we don't know. And we won't know until the report is released. And even when the report is released, how much will it say? How accurate will it be?

Now, if Mikey IS indicted in the report, all of this speculation is moot. However, I wouldn't go so far as to assume he is involved until we get the report - there are significant factors playing in his favor, which I've outlined above. I'm sure there are more that I'm forgetting, but I've spent way too long on this post already...

When the names are named and the information is released, only then will I pass judgment. Until then, I'm going to stick with the UDHR and presume innocence, both for the sake of legal thought and for the sake of my own sanity.

Once again, please do not take ANY of this as me dismissing or belittling sexual assault in any way. What happened in that hotel room in Canada was horrific and should never be even implicitly approved of by the NHL. I hope this report comes out sooner rather than later and justice can finally be served.

#stereanswers #tw sa mention #faceoff king #mikey mcleod #(tagging him for blacklist purposes)#2018 WJC

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