👀 More haunted house designer au?! 👀 I love that concept so much so would be overjoyed if you ever decided to revisit it :)

😎i love it too. i wish i could tell you there are finally actually haunted houses in this one but unfortunately the girls are still working through it 😭 also i am working through it (editing 😭)

so in this one they're on a scouting-slash-forced teambuilding trip and it's um Going. it's a few thousand k of Meet The Ava wherein Ava is frustrated + up against it + dramatic, but also Meets The Beatrice.

anyway anyway it starts like this (subject to me finding it too cringey and editing it):

Ava sees her at the end of the pier, a dark figure in the already-dark; a smudge of barely-moving ink on the line between wind and water. Barely, indeed – wavering less than the yearning swallow and swoop of the waves interrupted by pillars of wood, and, further back, stone. 

At night, after everything’s shut, this place is quiet until the fishermen get out in the early morning. In the off-season, even more so. Rain slings down frequently, and it’s not warm enough for balmy walks by the rocks. Not many come out, if any. Ava’s one.

She calls out as she walks down the planks, only thinking belatedly that perhaps she might not want to be disturbed. Out here behind the motel, unmoving under the preliminary drizzle of rain, embraced and cocooned by temperamentally warping air. It is, after all, that tremulous transitory phase between spring and summer that borrows its faces from both, and switches its masks sharply in the slit-time of blinks.

Hey! Fun question, how do you think an in-canon kabumisu confession would go? People keep portraying mithrun as blunt and straightforward about their relationship, but would he be scared to tell kabru in the chance that he'd say no and leave? Is the desire to just be in a relationship with kabru, or is the desire of not wanting to scare him off greater than that? I'm so starved on the lack of post-canon kabumisu content, they make me go crazy

As usual, I'll try not to go into TOO much detail because then I won't be motivated to write fic about it... and I AM planning to write a post-canon Kabumisu fic anon, so don't worry. I'll get there eventually :3

They make me go crazy too 😔

I think Mithrun's a complicated guy with complicated emotions. Even when he was "empty" in the dungeon he actually showed a lot of feelings - smug satisfaction, annoyance, anger, even a little bit of subtle happiness.

So while I DO think he will still be blunt in general, I also think it's a mistake to assume that means he doesn't feel things and won't have anxieties and insecurities just like any other person.

Mithrun used to be WILDLY insecure, and jealous, and paranoid. He just stopped caring about anything, but if, like the end of the manga suggests, he is going to try to START caring again, he will then start to have feelings, too.

I think Mithrun is intensely aware of his own "undesirability", that's one of the reasons he's BEEN so depressed. Most of his self-worth before the dungeon hinged on being "better" than his brother, and better than other people. Then he looses that (or maybe he was never actually better at all!), so what does he have left? And now his youth is gone too, he's middle-aged and lost his "best years" to depression. He's disabled, he's scarred, he's a bastard that nobody wants.

It's a pretty huge fall from "most eligible bachelor in the empire"!

So I think no, he won't just bluntly tell Kabru that he likes him. It will take Mithrun awhile to realize how he feels, and once he does, he'll be afraid to reach out, so he's going to do what I call "playing silly little elf games". He's going to try and flirt via writing letters and sending gifts, to hint that he likes Kabru.

Luckily for Mithrun, Kabru also knows how to play Silly Little Elf Games (he's an Olympic champion), so he picks up the signals and starts reciprocating, though he's also uncertain and worried that he's misunderstanding. Captain Mithrun couldn't be flirting with him, could he? But... what if he is?

(I will go into Kabru's feelings at a later date anon i promise.)

I think the thing that will ultimately push Mithrun to act is the fear that he'll miss his chance. Mithrun realizes Kabru is a limited time deal that he can only enjoy for the next 60-something years, and he wants every minute of that time for himself, no matter how much it will someday hurt to lose Kabru.

And he also knows that Kabru is very handsome and charming, and he can't expect Kabru to wait for Mithrun to get himself figured out. Someone else will swoop in and snatch that man up, so Mithrun has to hurry.

ALL OF THAT SAID... I think their confession is a lot less of a confession, and much more "we have both been picking up these signals of interest for months/years, and finally one of us pushes it a little bit further than we've ever pushed it before and we acknowledge the unspoken thing that has been growing between us."

Maybe it's a hand resting on someone's leg, or a gentle touch on the arm. Maybe it's leaning in so their shoulders touch. Maybe it's looking into each other's eyes a little bit longer than normal.

Probably it involves both of them admitting "Spending time with you makes me happier than anything else in the world. Whenever we're apart all I think about is when I'm going to see you again. I spend hours composing letters to you in my mind. I want us to spend our days together, no matter what shape that takes."

It's very vulnerable and scary for both of them, and I think they're both DEEPLY relieved after they finally get it out, and they don't get rejected. They know each other so well, and they're so good at reading people - they both thought that the other might feel the same way, but it's so scary to take that leap of faith and hope that they're right.

And just for the record, I think that Kabru worries about if Mithrun will be interested in sex or not, because sex is something that matters to Kabru, but what if Mithrun just doesn't have any desire for it?

And so before they get into a relationship Kabru has a long hard think about it, and decides that even if they never have sex, he wants to be in a romantic relationship with Mithrun anyway, because just being around him makes him feel happy, and understood, and like he isn't alone anymore. There's someone who sees him as he is, all the good and the bad, and says "I love you anyway."

And Kabru decides that he's willing to just jerk off for the rest of his life if that's the price of this relationship that he wants.

Luckily for Kabru, I think Mithrun does want to have sex with him, but I like to think that Kabru thinks through all the possibilities and decides that no matter what they end up doing together, being with Mithrun is worth it.

Hello! I’m new to your page so I’m not sure if you’ve been asked this but I just wanted to ask if Dominic would ever lose interest in the person he admires if they finally like submitted to him/ If he got what he wanted from them?? Would he grow bored of them since he got what he wanted like he always does??

I also wanted to ask if Outlaw would do any certain things for the person he admires if they were like Hispanic or of any other nationality that wasn’t his? Would he attempt to learn their language if they both had some sort of language barrier?

Your writing is amazing and I can’t wait to see more of your work! Also I apologize if my grammar and wording is incorrect, English wasn’t my first language. Thank you and have a great day! <3

Hello there, my Sweet; thank you for writing in ! Your English is immaculate, so don't doubt yourself ^^ !

To answer your questions:

♡ Honestly, there's always a chance as to whether Dominic will lose interest in his obsession or not; it all depends on how well you keep him on his toes.

♡ You see, Dominic is, as you've pointed out, Anon, used to having everything handed to him on a silver platter. Anything that hasn't is still well within his reach as a result of his beauty, charisma, intellect and wealth. Therefore, if you put up a good chase and don't succumb to his whims as easily as everyone else has - whether intentionally or not - Dominic is much more likely to remain highly interested in you throughout your relationship together.

♡ However, if his obsession did submit to him, Dominic is still unlikely to lose interest. He's not stupid; he can see that you're a highly desirable person. I mean, just look at all the people he's had to scare away from you !

♡ Sure, he might become comfortable with you, but that's not the same as him losing the vigour with which he protects you.

♡ Seeing as you are the first and only person to make Dominic feel (or get as close to feeling as someone like him is capable of getting), he is incredibly territorial of you - and will continue to be so for as long as he lives. Really, the only way you're going to be able to shake him off is if you go into hiding for the rest of your life. And even then, he'll go frantic in his quest to find you, the only one that got away.

♡ In short, Dominic's equivalent of 'losing interest' is him not watching your every waking move. But that's only because he knows he has you in a place where nobody can rescue you. He's so self-assured in his own imprisonment of you that he knows he doesn't have to worry. He'll always be obsessed with the you; the way you make him feel.

♡ As for the Outlaw, he would - eventually - take to learning your language, be that spoken or sign, when the barrier becomes too great for him to bear. Because, of course, this is all about him.

♡ However, he will make it all about you the second you start to open up to him. If you both come from cultures that deviate enough in a way that anything you teach him about your culture/heritage is a new world for him, he'll be secretly fascinated by it. He'll take to trying extra hard when learning your language (away from the time you've already dedicated to teaching him; suddenly, there are a lot of language and international history books being stolen during raids in the big city) so he can hear more stories, legends and cultural norms from where you or your lineage hail from. If not for the illustrious tales, then for the way your eyes light up when explaining it to him - for the first time since he's taken you.

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hihi can i request male reader x itto where reader is overwhelmed with all the work he has to do and ends up staying all night finishing and itto like tries to get him to take breaks but ends up forcing reader to take one bc reader won't stop working and is literally not taking care of himself :,)

(sorry college is beating my ass rn aah)

featuring: itto tw: stress, "babe" used as a pet name type: angst (?) to fluff, modern au pronouns used: he/him a/n: back to our regularly scheduled content i'm literally so sorry about whatever the hell that was. anyway this is REALLY CUTE anon ty hehe

content under the cut for length! (^人^)

ITTO made a point of not worrying about studying. In his own words, it defeated the purpose because "if i was going to remember what they taught me in class, i would have put it in my memory when they first told me!" This had gotten him into trouble with many an exam.

His philosophy when it comes to bigger projects, however, was surprisingly reasonable. Every time your boyfriend was assigned a project, he tore through it as fast as possible, so somehow, he never got buried with work.

Tonight, you were buried with work. You'd been trying to pace yourself for nearly the entire day, but with class on top of assignment on top of class on top of cup of coffee, you'd quickly become completely exhausted, lying face up on the floor. You stared at the fluorescent lights in the room you shared with Itto, which didn't deign to do anything other than flicker briefly at you in response. You covered your eyes with your arm, letting out a long sigh, when you heard the door to your dorm room open loudly.

"HEEEEEEY!! Guess who's here to help the best boyfriend in the whole wide world with his stupid boring college homework!!"

Itto barged in, grin evident on his face. Despite the colder weather, he was still only wearing his typical tank and cargo shorts. He sniffed, lifting up three plastic bags no doubt filled with goodies.

You reluctantly rolled over onto your stomach and pushed yourself off the floor, gazing at him tiredly. "What'd you get? Instant ramen again?"

"Obviously! And, also," Itto added, closing the door and taking things out of the bags, "i got hawaiian bread rolls, which should be interesting, three different flavors of ice cream, a bunch of crackers, energy drinks, instant coffee, and tylenol. For your headache."

"What?" you concentrated for a second. "Wait, you're right. How did you know I have a headache?"

"Come on, babe, look how scrunched up your eyebrows are. Give yourself a break, okay?" Itto frowned at you and ruffled your head, earning him a huff from you. "You're not gonna get anything done if you're this tired."

"I can't take a break though," you answered stubbornly, "I have about five things due tomorrow and it's already ten pm. If I don't finish this, it's game over for me."

"No, it's not. Listen, if you don't finish everything, it'll be okay. Just look how much stuff you have assigned to you! Nobody should have to do this much work, it's torture! If I had to do all that I just wouldn't."

"Right, which is why I can't take advice from you."

Itto stuck his tongue out at you and flicked your forehead. "Well, if you're not gonna see reason, I guess I'll just have to show you!"

"Huh?" you asked, but you didn't have a chance to add anything else, as Itto has already scooped you up in his arms and plopped you down on the couch in front of the TV. He grabbed a blanket from nearby and draped it around your shoulders. Once you were comfortably situated, he took your laptop and books and put them in the microwave.

"HEY! What the hell are you doing to my stuff!"

"You're going to sit here with me and take a break. If you say even one thing about wanting to work, I'm turning on the microwave."

"Itto! You'll break my computer!"

Itto thought about this for a moment, then reluctantly took your things out of the microwave. "Okay, right. Got it. Just don't try anything, okay? You're relaxing now. It's relaxing time."

You sighed, giving up. It's true that your professors had uploaded an unreasonable amount of work for you to finish. Maybe if you showed the proof to those whose work you hadn't finished yet, they'd understand... in any case, Itto was right. You were overworking yourself, and you needed a break.

You slumped over into the couch, allowing yourself to sink into the cushions. Itto returned from where he'd been putting the food in the fridge earlier, two bowls of ice cream in hand and a pringles tube stuffed into his giant pockets.

"Here," he offered, handing you one of the bowls. "I know I'm not super regular-smart, but I am super you-smart, and I know that right now this is the best thing for you." You took the bowl, nodding, and sunk back into the couch. Itto sat down heavily next to you, splaying out his limbs and putting one arm around you. It was a miracle he didn't spill his ice cream all over his lap.

"Feeling better yet?" he asked, placing a surprisingly gentle kiss on your forehead and slowly squishing you closer to him. It was impossible not to feel better with how close to you he was and how far he'd gone to cheer you up.

"Yeah, I am," you said, giving him a soft, tired smile.

"Good," Itto said, grabbing the TV remote, "now, what do you want to watch? Anything's fine by me, as long as you're here."

If you don't mind, can we please get some bakusquad hcs from your au? 🥺👉👈

YES YOU CAN ANON

Bakugo

Bakugo is albino, if she wasn't she would have brown hair like her dad.

She has special headphones she's supposed to wear when using her Quirk at all times. (She at first didn't bc Bakugo is stubborn) She insist her ears were fine until she tried to show off one day by making a big explosion and blew out her ear drums for a entire day. Don't worry recovery girl fixed it that was her last warning and it scared her so bad.

Bakugo has hearing aid's we live for this hc she does not know sign language because her hearing problems didn't start to get worse/ to the point of needing the hearing aids until she got into UA where she's using her quirk on overdrive all the time.

She loves her dad, that's her best friend. Bakugo is a daddies girl all the way.

They have daddy daughter days and he loves to buy her outfits they are best friends they go shopping together

Bakugo's dad calls her "Katsuki kitten"

Bakugo's uncle on her dad's side was the one that got her interested in mountain climbing, he would take her up when she got big enough but before that he used to bring her back cool trinkets from where ever he'd go in the world.

Bakugo has a complex relationship with her mom, it's a lack of understanding on her mom's part and the fact they are literally same personality different person doesn't help. It's hard for Mitsuki to understand Bakugo but she is still a trying parent.

If Bakugo was a parent she wouldn't be hard on her own kid as her mother was on her.

Bakugo has a young chaotic cousin who she thinks is annoying as heck that Deku never knew about because she never mentioned him and he never seen him. He wants to beat Bakugo and be better and he's just loud and annoying even to Mitsuki.

Bakugo's parents work at a modeling place that is why they are rich.

Bakugo calls Deku's mom aunty Inko but Deku does not call Mitsuki aunty lol

Bakugo developed a crush on Todoroki and only released it when they were side kicking with Endeavor.

Somestimes Bakugo and Todoroki do this thing when Todoroki jokingly leans in like "Well, i guess we gotta kiss" and then stops. At first Bakugo thought he was a freak for doing that but it became a normal thing they would do all the time and sometimes she would lean in as well when they became closer and they both just not actually kiss until one day they did.

Bakugo doesn't like being a third wheel which she usually is to a lot of people.

Bakugo and Sato cook together a lot.

Bakugo calls Sato by his name because she can't come up with something that doesn't sound like a romantic nickname for him besides Sugar jock.

Bakugo gives people nicknames cause she has a hard time remember names.

There is some of Deku's clothes at Bakugo's house incase he comes over for a sleep over they have a mattress and everything for him in Bakugo's closet.

Bakugo is friends with everyone in the Dekusquad.

Bakugo respects Uraraka because she's the only girl she knows who can lock eyes with her and take her down if she wanted to.

Bakugo likes spicy food but can't handle as much as Deku can. Nobody else in the squad except mildly Sero likes spicy food.

Bakugo's middle school friends live in this AU and they go to UA but they are in class C the one Shinsou was moved out of. Tomo (long fingers),Kirisame (short black hair) and Tsubasa (Kid with wings)

Bakugo never makes it known she is a rich kid but bought kirishima's groceries once because he's kinda poor and was about to go the the corner store for groceries and Bakugo was just not having that. Told him everything he needed put it in the cart and she would pay for it that's when they really became friends.

Bakugo ignores Togaru's existence rival who? but they fight a lot.

///

Kirishima

His parents split and he lives with his single dad.

Ryukyu is his aunt, Tatami is his sister and Tetsutetsu is his brother.

Kirishima has depression but it's diagnosed and he takes his meds.

He can't keep a secret, if you tell him something and tell him not to tell he'll go "I wont!" but if you pressure him a little bit like keep asking him once or twice he'll tell you everything.

There is dragon quirks in his fam's genes so he has retractable tail and wings.

He hates that he has to peep talk himself cause of his depression, it helps him get okay for the day.

Kirishima's and Tetsutetsu bite and wrestle eachother a lot when Yo came over once he bit him and he cried, Tatami thought it was funny.

Kirishima and Sero train together a lot Kirishima almost always wins.

Kirishima is the one who created the Bakusquad, he befriended Kaminari first then Sero, Sero like the vibe of these people. lastly he slowly introduced Bakugo to the group because Kaminari and Sero didn't really want to be friends with her because she was mean. Mina was already his friend even though they weren't in middle school she just became his friend really quickly.

Kirishima calls Bakugo Ladybro

Kirishima if somebody says anything about him being the only boy in the Bakusquad he'll say it's them who's protecting him and that girls can be aggressive.

Kirishima wanted to be friends with Bakugo cause he used to have a bully in middle school and something happen to that guy and he feels like even though he was bullying him if he had one friend maybe he wouldn't have done what he did. He knows Bakugo and Deku have history and he feels like if he makes friends with her she wont be so mean anymore. He forgives Bakugo for the bully she used to be cause he knows she is kind in her own way.

Kirishima's middle school friends or at least one of them was his "Happy buddy" which means that was the one who knew he had depression and would help him with it. They don't go to this school so Kaminari is his new happy buddy.

Kirishima is kinda poor and feels bad his dad has to pay for him and Tetsutetsu to go to UA

Kirishima isn't really close friends with anyone outside of the Bakusquad.

Kirishima is the one who has a crush on Sero first.

//

Kaminari

Kaminari dad was a deadbeat from America who his mom met when she was living there. Kaminari went to kindergarten and elementry school there before his mom decided to move to japan.

Kaminari has a little sister her quirk is called "Volt stream" She can emit electricity from her brain in low voltages, electricity is constently surging through her body and her vines like blood so she has to let it out sometimes or she'll feel what she calls "Prickly" Everytime she uses her quirk depending on the voltage she will either feel light headed or pass out. Her name is Rai

Kaminari's mom is a pro hero name Electric pop

Kaminari's mom's quirk has the same quirk as Kaminari but she can only shoot the lightning from her finger tips, she can't discharge in any other way.

Kami's dad just had a basic lightning quirk he was a hero in amaerica but like only for the money she left him but Kaminari did get to be around him for a while. He wasn't a good dad but he wasn't an awful dad.

Kamianri's parents taught her basic fighting just in case.

Kaminari can speak English but not write it very well.

Kaminari lives close to wherever Todoroki's house is and can get there pretty quickly.

Kaminari can skateboard that is her means of transportation.

Kaminari cooks macaroni a lot.

Kaminari makes cursed food mixtures. She made a peanut butter girlled cheese once.

Kaminari eats pickles from the jar, drinks the juice and all. once that's all she ate in a day woke up in the dorms one evening ate a pickle and went back to sleep.

Kaminari comes into Tokoyami's room for nails to be painted stays for the company.

Kaminari is friends with Tokoyami and Dark shadow.

Kaminari is also friends with Aoyama they are a blonde duo.

Kaminari lives next to Kinoko and they are friends and neighbors.

Kaminari is also friends with Rin kinda.

Kaminari had a crush on Mineta for some odd reason and never said anything about it cause she thought it was awkward and weird.

//

This kid from the where Bakugo and Todoroki retook their liesense exam

is Sero's little brother his name is Sho he can peel his skin like tape (It's not as painful as it sounds) he's annoying.

Sho goes to pre-school with Eri he has a best friend name Chocto who is Hound Dog's son (we call Hound dog mad dog in this au)

Skeptic is Sero's local evil uncle on her fathers side who nobody rats out because the whole family is scared of him.

Skeptic traumatized Sero as a kid being just generally scary with his quirk.

Sero lives with her older cousin Shin and Sho because there was an argument about Skeptic and Shin took it upon himself to get the kids away from that house.

Sero and Shin have a really close relationship, he makes her feel safe and he's always looking out for Sero. He's like that really chill older bro everyone wished they had.

Sero is very smug and that's how she relates most of all her emotions.

Sero doesn't like to feel strong emotions (sadness or anger) she would really rather not talk it out or have complex conversations when there is a problem. Just one person take the blame and don't do it again so we don't have to talk about this or bring it up anymore. In other words she hides from her feelings.

Sero dated a lot in middle school but never felt anything for anyone until she started liking Kirishima.

Sero feels inferior to Bakugo that Bakugo could have just the right things to say to help Kirishima and she wouldn't know what to say. (Example: Kirishima was having a breakdown and Sero didn't know how to talk to him so she called Bakugo who calmed him down. She felt really bad and useless that she was closer and right there but there was nothing she could do)

After the sports festival Sero developed Bell’s Palsy from Todoroki freezing her.

//

Mina

Mina doesn't mind a lot of things she's really chill.

Mina is the gateway to the whole class to the Bakusquad because she is close friends with so many other people outside the squad.

Mina isn't too sure what love is about and says that a lot. she'll randomly put it in after a normal sentence. "Lets go to mcdonalds, also im not too sure what true love is actually"

Mina comes from a neglected household. That's why she loves so much she doesn't want anybody to feel left out.

Mina is moth coded so at a certain point when they've lived in the dorms one day she just got super sleepy and fell asleep went into a cocoon for a week and came out looking fresh.

Her horns fell off after that and grew back, she could grow another set of arms and wings which was freaky but cool.

Mina is good at listening when somebody needs to vent. "Come get in my bed and we can talk comfy"

Mina is a gossip channel, her and Toru they know everything.

Mina's purse is a bottomless pit. She has everything.

Mina always wants to put makeup on somebody.

Mina is friends with Toru and Toru is friends with Dark Shadow but not so much Tokoyami.

Mina can relate to Mineta about being a neglected.

//

Jirou

Mina is the one who even got her included in the squad. She would always look over at them so Mina slowly introduced her until she was part of the squad.

Jirou is whatever she needs to be to get out of a satiation or win a battle. In our sports festival there were two brackets of the tournament and she made it to 3rd losing to Jurota Shishida. She fought Rin before this and tried to kiss him throwing him off guard, she kissed him and used her quirk through her lips to send her heartbeat into his head resulting in her win.

If Jirou uses her quirk to much she'll pass out because it's putting a strain on her heart.

That is how she lost to Jurota she amped up her quirk to it's fullest and they both passed out but she passed out first.

Jirou is the youngest of two brothers. Jude and Hibiki. Hibiki is a pro hero musician and Jude is in a boy band.

Jirou's house is a music store where they sell instruments and teach lessons. She offered working there as an option for Tokoyami who works there now.

Jirou is friends with Tokoyami they are goth buddies but not so much dark shadow cause she thinks dark shadow is annoying.

Jirou has a crush on Rin.

Jirou's hair is naturally curly like her dad's she straightens it. Later she lets Mina braid it.

When they live in the dorms She gets her hair cut's from Tokoyami.

Everyone who paints their nails gets their nails painted by Tokoyami including Jirou.

When Jirou says something is "Punk rock" she means it's cool. she'll say something like "that wasn't very punk rock of you" or "Wow! that's punk rock!"

Jirou is friends with Mineta (Mineta is more respectful in this au he actually is grossed out/scared of girls because of something that happened to him in his old household he got adopted by Midnight)

Can I get uhhhhh some RFA + Minor Quartet (because screw it, throw some Rika in there, she gets to join the boys in their little group) with a MC who secretly has magic powers?

You're so right anon. This is a Rika-loving zone. 😤

Yoosung can barely contain his excitement. MC has magic powers? For real? Is he dreaming about LOLOL again? This is his greatest fantasy come to life. He may be a tad overwhelming with all of his questions and requests for demonstrations, because he wants to compare his understanding of magic from LOLOL to the real deal. But his enthusiasm is innocent and almost contagious. MC needs to tell him if they need a break.

Zen is surprised, but in a good way. He's almost relieved, even. He wants to know all about MC's abilities, and then in a hushed whisper, he will ask, "Will you believe me if I tell you about my own powers, too?" Nobody else takes his precongnitive dreams very seriously, but maybe he's found a kindred spirit. Maybe he'll feel less like a freak now.

Jaehee is unamused and skeptical until MC demonstrates for her. After that she's curious, but in a different way from Yoosung. She wants to reconcile her understanding of the world and how it operates with this new information about the existence of magic. She blushes a lot when MC shows her more & more of her powers, and she isn't sure why. Is it awe? Admiration? Respect? Intrigue? Something... else?

Jumin is going to bother MC about their powers. Again, not in a negative way, but in an inquisitive way. He almost wants to study MC and take notes on how their powers operate, differences in strength/quality depending on the weather or time of day, the origin of the powers, alternative uses for the powers, etc. Jumin is fascinated by the occult, so he's validated to find that magic exists after all. He just can't help but get absorbed in MC and their abilities, much like he does with his 100 cat projects.

707 is excited to see what MC can do. He wants to see if he can replicate their powers with his inventions or make a companion who can balance them out. Cue him locking himself away and making gadgets and gizmos and doo-dads until he feels confident in what he has made. He may spy a little too closely on the CCTV to obtain as much data as possible, but-- gaah, MC, don't change your shirt RIGHT THERE in FULL VIEW!!!!

Ray is smitten with MC and everything they can do. Of course, he already knew about their abilities from his spying preparation. He probably knows more about MC's magic than MC does. But he'll still sit and nod politely, hooked on their every word as they explain their powers to him. He makes certain to keep this a secret from his Savior, however, lest she try to snatch his doll away before he's molded them perfectly for paradise.

V is stunned. He's genuinely flabbergasted. He'd probably be quiet for a long moment, not sure of what to say or do to approach the subject. He doesn't want to say something wrong that might offend MC; he knows all too well what happens if you mistreat someone vulnerable. MC might worry that he's disgusted or horrified, but he'd do his best to reassure them that's not the case. He wants MC to feel comfortable, and he won't treat them any differently.

Vanderwood is less than thrilled. Honestly, they're probably annoyed. "I can't catch a break, can I?" But something about MC is charming and captivating, and Vandy can't stay mad at them for something they can't control. "Just don't make any more trouble for me, alright? You're a good kid, and I don't want to see you make a dumb mistake." At this point, after a decade in the agency, they probably shouldn't be surprised to see a magic user.

Rika is intrigued. "If you don't mind... would you tell me more about this gift of yours?" She'd want to learn the details to see if she could use these powers to her advantage, but she'd be genuinely interested in MC as well. Does MC feel like a devil or outcast, or perhaps an angel who was blessed with such a wondrous ability? Rika has a tendency to overthink and overanalyze, so she'd probably question her worldview the more time she spends with MC. Is this a messenger of heaven sent to smite a false Savior? Is this an emissary of hell who will join and strengthen her cause? Or... is this the one who will save Rika?

hi! i wasn’t the anon who asked about matchups but. if it’s okay i would like a romantic matchup too. you really don’t have to though :)

i’m an infp 9w1. i have alot of hobbies. like baking, repurposing old things+thrifting, painting, playing games, collecting, making clothes and decorations etc. just doing random ideas🌸i also love reading about history and science. especially ancient cultures and paleontology. tbh i rarely go out and do things…. i like things that are cute and cozy (that’s kinda how i like to dress too).

for personality. i have avoidant and dependent pds and those things can affect my relationships :(( i have problems with anxiety too so tbh i have a hard time doing a lot of things. even leaving my home can be hard. but i do try…i’m very shy and quiet, but i’m friendly and polite. i try to avoid conflict and be supportive/helpful. (aka can’t say no to anyone) i’m scared to talk about myself. like interests, feelings but i care about others’. i’ve been told i’m dedicated, hardworking and that i have a peaceful aura. i’m very low energy in general so i prefer staying on the side watching. (online and irl lurker) i feel like i get along better with animals. people are scary…

sorry if i rambled too much. i wrote alot😭idk if it was even helpful. anyway i hope you have a lovely day 🌸💖💓

I match you with...

Saeran!

You're the kind of person that is set in their ways. This isn't a bad thing. It just means that you have a good perception of what it means to be you and the things that you don't want to do. You prefer to be by yourself and if you're not doing that bend you want to know that you can be with somebody who won't overwhelm you. You don't want to leave the comfort of your bubble but you do want somebody who you can allow inside of it. This is why I the best person for you is SE Saeran.

The thing with him that's going to help you out is the fact that there is no pressure to be anything. You can be yourself and you don't have to worry. He doesn't expect you to be somebody that you're not and you don't expect him to come crawling out of his comfort zone. For the most part, your relationship is built upon enjoying quality time together and knowing that nobody else in the world understands you as well as the other does. Sure, it might be tough sometimes but that doesn’t mean that you don’t try to make it right. 

He likes being close to you because he knows that he doesn't have to think twice about things. You don't overwhelm him. You make him feel like he belongs and for somebody that has always felt like the world was never meant for him? This is a good thing.

to my darling j anon:

(putting this under a readmore because it's emotional and sappy and i'm embarrassed) 😩

first of all i am so sorry to leave you hanging for a few days. i just really needed time to make sure this response is good enough, and sometimes i have to do this thing where i go through all 5 stages of grief before i can put my feelings into words properly.

thank you so incredibly much for your birthday message. seriously, thank you. your message made me full-on cry when i read it, happy and sad tears. you're so amazing and so sweet to me. i really hope you know how important you've become to me over these past few months.

the fact that you remember so many things that i've said about her in the past 🥺 like the fact that she's a thoughtful gift-giver. i completely agree about the cake -- she could absolutely NOT do it on her own. small tangent but i can't stop imagining Annie going to her dad for help since at least in TRNT he's the only one there to ask, and he says yes because he wants to spend time with her. but he does NOT know what he's doing either. i don't think the cake would even make it into the oven. they give up after neither of them can figure out how to crack an egg without getting shell in the batter. Annie goes to buy a cake from a bakery instead.

the second half is where i start getting mad emotional - i know it's not that deep and i'm probably being dramatic (url :/ it's part of the package). but i'm crushed that you said you're leaving. i understand, i really do. tumblr can be overwhelming sometimes and completely dead at others. and then the attack on titan fandom all around fucking SUCKS -- there's a reason i detach and stay in my own little world. but i guess i keep thinking about how there are some people i really miss having in my life that i don't talk to anymore or who have died and how much i wished i could've spent my birthday with them, and i know you're still gonna check ao3 but i'm gonna miss being your friend so much 😣 you're leaving a massive j-shaped hole in my heart.

you're a little bit of a sneaky one too, like i genuinely have no clue who you are. sometimes when i get an anonymous message, there'll be a string of likes right next to the ask and i'll be like 'hmmm interesting coincidence' but i genuinely truly don't have a clue who you are? if i could figure out who you are i would've already sent you a private message.

i don't want to ask you to come off anon since i don't know your reasons for being anonymous in the first place, and if you're not comfortable then i'll never bring it up again. but i think i'd really regret not telling you how much i'll miss you and how much happiness you brought me.

your interest in the road not taken is one of the reasons that i've kept up with it. i love the story so much but i got really depressed last fall / winter and there were several times that i wanted to abandon the fic since it was such a heavy task. having somebody message me about trnt on a regular basis gave me so much, more than i can ever properly put into words. as the story expanded it has picked up more of a following but i wouldn't have gotten here if it wasn't for you.

you cared about the books they were reading and the awkward Papa interactions and the little things from the start. you asked questions nobody else besides my wife did. and having a friend who understands what i'm trying to do thematically that also cares about me as an author AND a person is so rare. you did so much for me j anon 😥 you helped me out of one of the darkest moments of my life and i don't think you know even know how much you mean to me. i should've said it more often because now i'm worried it's too late

i love you ok? i wish you the best in your life and i'll be manifesting good vibes to be sent your way. enjoy our girl in color and motion a little extra hard for me this sunday. and if this is goodbye for now, then please come back to me someday. you'll be missed. so much

Brothers anon back again. I had a sort of writers block for the last like 2 days which made it really hard to do some questions, but I got em done finally. Sorry about the wait. This one is split between the numbered questions, and next ask is the other questions you asked!

I think I accidentally skipped a question in the last one. I honestly don't completely remember but in case I did skip it by mistake, the groups first travel out of the city's limits and even further beyond in a carriage. When they reach the end of how far the driver is willing to go they then get out and start walking. With Jackie screaming about how their finally going on a adventure. 

1: It thankfully doesn't get to to bad before the others notice. And he immediately told them about Dream, wanting to be very clear with what happened and what they where getting themselves into. But they accepted him anyway and helped him. 

2: Isaac is the leader cause Cletus is too much of a wildcard and too impulsive to lead safely, Charles is too shy to lead, and while Benjamin is perfect for leading he doesnt really like leading and is more of a follower than a leader. But Isaac can joke around and gets along with everyone but also be able to take things seriously and know when something needs to be handled.

5: They do not, they last for a few minutes and unless its a healing or regeneration potion (in which it can take a few days for it to fully go away) they have no long lasting affects. They do know of eachothers past to an extent, they know enough to avoid triggers and enough to know what not to do when around eachother. They know through telling eachother, and they feel awful Grievous and Jackie had to deal with that, but leave it in the past and focus on making their current life better. 

6: Yes and no, while Jackie did mean to throw it at Ran, he ment for it to just hit nearby him, not directly hit him. It was ment to be more of a scare/intimidation tactic than anything else honestly. Grievous's luck is for basically everything, he has won the lottery twice before actually but only those 2 times, he's correctly guessed how many items are in a container more than a few times as well. 

7: I use the height charts and they help mostly for comparison, problem is I have trouble applying it to real world stuff and because of that I still have trouble knowing if something or someone is to tall or short. Jackie can get very mean, like he can make fun of someone who just lost a loved one or experienced a traumatic event at the worst. But he usually doesn't get nearly that mean, most he does normally is making fun of how someone looks or how they do certain things. The others comfort him the best they can when he gets sad, and when he gets mean they either encourage it (Grievous), or discourage it and stop him (Watson. Ran is between either encouraging or discouraging it).

8: He was! He spent most of his life adventuring actually! He misses it somedays now since he lives in Subbin, but he believes giving up his adventuring life for a family and friends who needed him is a more than far trade and would happily pick his family over adventuring again. For around 4 years after Ran left Mizu (including the day he left), Ran traveled everywhere, and learned how to survive himself and taught himself different things, like sewing. Ran has made new socks, fixed clothes, and made blankets for everyone at least once. Watson also designs bows and arrows for show, for top functionality, and for just simple (training) gifts to the others. Ran (and Watson) has visited the nether, though Ran tended to stay in it longer than Watson cause he could withstand the temperatures better. And while digging a new tunnel across the nether he ran into ancient debris, which he then messed with until he figured out to mix it with gold and coat his sword in it. He tried to find more ancient debris but sadly hasn't found any, leaving his sword permanently damaged and at risk of breaking. Jackie isn't good at all at painting, its more of a hobby he's trying out. They try to camp out there at least once a week, where Grievous will sometimes build a pillowfort and either force everyone inside or play a game of capture the fort with them. Sometimes Ran will also read during the pillowfort nights, but not to often. Jackie wants to vist a Snow, Savanna, Jungle,  Tagia, and if possible, a Ice Spike biome. He also wants to vist the nether but he'll have to fight Ran on that. Ran and Jackie's secondary titles are in Javanese!

9: Ran just kinda went "Hey Jackie, stand still for a second." "Ok?" And then he just picked him up and threw up. 

10: When he's first given dinner after already eaten lunch, he just kinda stares at the food. Then asks if they meant to give him food, and when the others say yes, he asks why because he thought people only ate once every few days. His answer shocked the others and they ask him to explain, and he explains futher that he was only allowed to eat and drink once every 3 days. Their horrified by this answer but explain to him how theres 3 meals a day and he can drink whenever, he doesn't believe them at first but eventually accepts it. 

11: When the fishermen first come to Ranbob about their worry, he expresses the same worry as them. But says that it's unlikely Ran will hurt the fishermen specifically, because Rans haunting are already friends with them, and Ran wouldnt risk breaking the friendship unless he deemed it necessary for their safety. 

12: Ranbob is sad that Ran goes to such lengths to avoid him and keep people away from him, but he has resigned himself to it. As he knew that if Ran was alive it was greatly unlikely that he would trust him and knew he would be avoided. Which is actually particularly why he believes Ran will never trust him again and why he views Ran as a kind of lost family member. One he'll never get back no matter what he does.

13: Their first stop is a nearby flower biome, and after that Watson has planned to lead them to a waterfall he found with a shattered Savanna somewhat close to it. They plan to travel for a minimum of 6 months, they can actually travel for as long as they want to, but Prokius made them agree that they must be back before the next General Pit Battles (which happens once every 5 years). 

14: He would 100% run himself into the ground until he's barely alive while searching for them. Benjamin compares Ranbob wanting to go back to Dream, to an abused person wanting to go back to their abusive lover. They believe they've changed and that they truly do love them and want the best for them, but in reality that's not it at all and others have to help them see thats not true and help them save themselves. So it doesn't surprise Benjamin or Isaac that much (it surprises Charles and Cletus though), and after its explained to them, their all more than willing to help Ranbob get over Dream and help him be himself again.

15: Oh definitely. Once they hear the Green-Eyed Enderman is back from hiding they all set out again, and after the group gets attacked and once word spreads that its in a group and there's another enderman with them, they all get targeted. With the Gladiators and Fishermen being targeted as bait or hostages to try to trick the enderman into following a trap. Ran wasnt affected like his brother was. Im talking about trauma and maybe even a bit of PTSD that came from Mizu, caused by Dream. Though both of the brothers have gained different amounts of trauma and PTSD from Dream. I may give the raven to either Watson or Ran, I think its fits both of them really well. I want to have them come across ruins of other Tales but im not sure which ones. Maybe they could find the remains of the Wild West Tale and the Haunted Mansion?

Glad to see you, Brothers Anon, and excited to read!

1: The perfect start to an Adventure. And a funny mental image. Imagining these two groups cramped into carriages is pretty amusing. How ready was everyone to get out by the time they could?

2: The fishermen are really great, and Ranbob is very lucky. I love them.

3: Isaac sounds like he’s a pretty good fit for it then. But nobody’s perfect! What are some flaws of his, leadership-wise?

5: Interesting. What makes Regeneration and Healing last longer? I suppose it’s not relative to the AU, but I am a bit curious. What’s the world’s potions mechanisms, if you don’t mind me asking? And that’s good! They may not know everything, but they know what to avoid, and that’s important. Everyone’s moved forward and are making the best of life, and honestly, that’s pretty cool of them.

6: Welp, Jackie, it seems intimidation tactic failed. However, you have managed to anger Ran, so..there’s that. He won the lottery? Dang. Well, if they ever need money, they can just send him to the nearest casino, I suppose.

7: Aight, so I may have a solution for you there. Whatever height you’re going for, find something in real life that’s just about the same height. Like a tree, or something. Or not, we can always just leave it at short enough to be tossed and tall enough to be the tosser. Jackie sounds like he knows where to hit to make it hurt, honestly. It’s good that they comfort him, though I am curious why they all react as they do to him being mean. Why does Grievous encourage it? And is it more of a depends on the day thing for Ran, or a depends on what was said to Jackie, and what Jackie’s saying thing?

8: Nice! What kind of places did he go? Does he have any particularly interesting knickknacks from that time period? And Ran personally sounds like he knows what he’s doing. Watson’s weapons sound really cool, where did he learn to make them? Is visiting the Nether not a common occurrence these days? Or is it simply that the others never got around to it before? Well, hobbies are always fun to try. Does Jackie keep at it and get better or get bored and try something else? How does Capture the Fort go with these guys, considering they’re gladiators? Why does Jackie want to visit those particular biomes? Is there a reason, or do they just sound cool to him? And why would Ran not want them going to the Nether? Because of the danger?

9: FDXGHJ- He just- tossed him?? No warning?? Oh my gods, I’m dying. How did Jackie react to that? Heck, how did Porkius react to that? I doubt anyone was expecting that display.

10: Oh, no. Now I really want to punch Dream in the face. What the heck, Dream?! He legit asks if they meant to give him food...If one of the fishermen or gladiators doesn’t eventually find a way to punch Dream, I will be forced to travel realities and do it myself. 

11: Kind of sad that Ranbob was equally concerned about it. But hey! He won’t have to be, one day!

12: Poor Ranbob. I hope he’s proven wrong, eventually. Do the fishermen know that he thinks this? If so, how do they feel about it? Or does he kind of just keep those thoughts to himself?

13: Flower biomes are really pretty. What did everyone think about it? Did they bring any flowers with them? So this roadtrip could possibly go on for a few years. Did they leave just after a General Pit Battle, or do they have like, less than five years? Speaking of General, is Jackie still the General in this AU? Does he have extra duties because of it? Or is that not something that happened in this AU?

14: Yikes. Reactions to this? Why does Ranbob believe Dream’s changed, as you put it? Is Dream still able to talk to him, or is it because he just misses being there? So Benjamin and Isaac aren’t all that surprised about it. Do they take the reins in helping out? And how do they all do so? It’s good that they’re helping him though.

15: Well, this sounds like it can’t end well. They try to use the hauntings as bait? Is anyone actually captured? Rescue missions? And alright, that makes a bit more sense. I can see how they’d both be effected differently, and honestly, they’d probably both have very different perspectives of the event, all things considered. Ravens for the win! And it’d be really cool for them to come across the ruins of old Tales buildings. Can you imagine the kind of things they’d find? Diaries, faded photographs, moth-eaten clothes, blood stained floors...Like a walk in the past, but they’ll never know what came to be for the people of that time.

hello! i'm phos anon! this is for the matchups. i'm an intp, i'm mostly intoverted and people say i look intimidating, but once you get to know me i'm pretty loud and i like to spew out jokes every moment i get.

i like to draw while listening to music or philosophy podcasts, but i also like to read when i have the time. my talents are my art skills and being able to remember things mentioned to me only once. i also have a knack for finding things people have been looking for a while in only a minute.

what i look for in a partner would probably be security, sense of humor, and loyalty. i want to feel comfortable around them and feel like i can lower my walls around them. what i offer in a relationship would be my time and an ear for whenever you need something to say. my love language would probably be words of affirmation and quality time, and i'd like a person with the same love languages as me.

i'm mostly a go with the flow person, but when i find something and nobody else is willing to grab it, i go for it. my worst fear would probably be being left behind or being forgotten, and i tend to cling to the things precious to me when i think that's about to happen.

my philosophy would be something like me against the world. i live on freedom and imagination, i would sacrifice everything for whatever is important to me, whether the results are good or bad would be dependent on whatever decision i make.

i get turned off from people when they don't put any effort into the things they do, and i don't really like it when they make jokes on things that should be taken seriously, or when they take it too far. i'd like a person who has a set goal in mind, someone i can chill with, and be casual with whether in public or private. i'd also want them to be able to motivate me.

Ahhh, hello there, Phos Anon! Thanks for stopping by! Some people seem to think I'm a little intimidating when they look at me, too- so I totally understand the feeling.

Your Matchup Is...

Ah, yes. Tsuntaro, the man, the myth, the legend. You must be incredibly interesting to have caught the eye of the Fae Prince so easily- which you indeed are! Malleus would absolutely love to drag you around the school yard to show you where certain gargoyles are located and talk to you for hours all about them- but that doesn't mean that he is above your own wants and needs. You never have to worry or fret about Malleus possibly leaving you for another- for he has practically been shunned or feared for most of his life to begin with. The poor Fae Prince would utterly gush and ooze at any and all interactions with you! He would absolutely adore getting involved in whatever you deemed to be so interesting! Malleus likes using his words and gentle touches to show just how much he loves his little Child of Man, evening strolls and possible haunted house visits not being too out of the ordinary for the two of you. He knows you, after all! He walked with you once upon a dream~💖

Hello, I thought I was aroflux but now I am in love with someone! Some people say that I am not aromantoc anymore, some people say that I flux, so I could be aroflux but fluxing to alloromantic now and I could be like that for years, but I don't know. Could I?

Anon, I want to say that I am so sorry you’re having to deal with the twin difficulty of lack of understanding of aro-spec identities and fluid identities, because I rather suspect that some people are causing you unnecessary doubt and confusion. And I very much hope that being in love is a wonderful, positive, amazing experience for you: I’ll metaphorically cross my fingers (because chronic hand/finger pain) that all goes well!

How you choose to comprehend and label is up to you. I think it’s worth keeping in mind that when a demiromantic falls in romantic love, that experience of romantic love does not by definition make them stop being demiromantic. Being in a romantic relationship, even if they’re in that relationship for the rest of their life, does not by definition make them stop being demiromantic. It may change how they relate to the aromantic community, yes; they may not have the same needs as they did before. But it does not change, unless they themselves feel it to be so for whatever personal reason, the truth of their demiromantic label. The same, surely, applies here?

In this light, it might be worth considering what you need over what you feel. If you consider alloromantic and/or romantic attraction as one of the aspects of your being aroflux, anon (as I have been recently taught) and you still feel connection to and need for the label and/or the community that goes with it, then by all means, keep it. It’s up to you and what you need, and nobody else gets to tell you that you’re not aromantic enough.

(Side note: by “alloromantic” in the rest of this ask, I mean someone who hasn’t felt themselves to be on the aromantic spectrum, not anyone who experiences romantic attraction. It’s why I often use “alloromantic attraction” or “alloromantic romantic attraction”, to distinguish that from the romantic attraction of some aro-spec folks. There may be some work to be done here on language: I do wonder if the romantic attraction felt by an aro-spec should be labelled the same way as the romantic attraction felt by an alloromantic. I can see reasons for using the same labelling, but I also feel wary about conflating them when they aren’t always treated the same way by amatonormativity. Either way, this is a complex issue in want of community consideration!)

I think a fair rule is that the only time we discard our labels is when they ring false with us, and other people don’t get to determine that. If you feel it describes your truth, it’s yours.

Anyone who comes up to me and says an aromantic and/or aromantic-spectrum person who currently, previously or will experience romantic attraction isn’t welcome in the aro-spec community will have to fight me. Yes, your experiences won’t be like mine, and we will both have issues where we should take a back-seat to let the other talk, but that doesn’t mean you don’t belong here. You do. Anon, if you have other aros telling you that you don’t belong, they’re the ones that don’t belong. They’re not engaging in the spirit of the community we’re building and they can shut the door on their way out of it. If they’re not aros telling you this, I’d be asking why alloromantic folks think they have any right to declare this to you, because they don’t. Especially if they’re non-fluid orientation alloromantic folks, who’ll have no clue about the intersectionality of the aromantic spectrum and fluid orientations!

(I think aro-spec people who do experience romantic attraction have a lot to say about romance and amatonormativity that everybody should listen to. We know a lot about romance from the alloromantic perspective. We don’t know much of what romance looks like when one isn’t solely, wholly or constantly alloromantic and not centred the same way by amatonormativity–especially with regards the expectation that all people in romantic relationships experience alloromantic attraction. For the sheer point of learning more about romance and amatonormativity, never mind bridging the gap between alloromantic and aromantic experiences, we need aro-specs in the community.)

As someone with a fluid identity myself, I do encourage, as best you can, trying not to worry about whether it will change later or for how long. Honestly, every time I shift in my sexuality I feel this guilt, like I’ve been lying to you all–maybe this time I’ll always be ace, maybe this time I’ll always be pan, maybe I was never ace, maybe I was never pan, maybe I’m always just grey-ace–arugh! Seriously, every single time! But this is symptomatic of living in a world that doesn’t give us space for fluidity, that treats it as imaginary, exaggeration or falsehood. We feel uncertain and unsure because fluidity isn’t prized or celebrated as a legitimate set of experiences; we question because we are not given any sense of security in our fluidity, the ability to trust that changes to how we feel now doesn’t invalidate how we felt then.

(And attempting to talk with authority on issues when I’m not always that orientation? Oh does that ever give me a raging case of self-doubt! I’m constantly feeling like I am not enough of anything, in terms of sexual orientation, to talk about it.)

Worrying about whether or not you’ll change in the future only leads to uncertainty about your past and present experiences. It only unravels us. I don’t mean that we shouldn’t check in with what we’re feeling every so often; I think that’s a healthy thing. I mean that the future, and any future shifts in our orientations and/or gender, are out of our hands, and the only thing we can do is find the words and communities that best suit the whole of what we know ourselves to be at this point in time. The worry is not inherently ours. The worry is not something we deserve. The worry is imposed upon us by a worldview that has no space for us. It’s internalised antagonism gifted by a world that wants people of fluid orientations and/or gender to pick one and stay there.

Anon, you don’t have to pick one. You can take a label that encompasses those changes, stare defiantly at the world and tell them that you don’t have to, or want to, pick one side. You can be desperately in romantic love and still tell the world you’re aroflux and they’re taking that word from you over your dead body.

If you find, over a long period of time, that your feelings and needs better match those of a alloromantic person and stay that way, then perhaps you may consider changing your label. But just being in romantic love, now, is not in itself a condition that denies you the aroflux label. It’s an experience, by and large, that more often necessitates it in light of your other experiences.

I would suggest, anon, that you let this go, as much as you can, for a while. Hang out in the aro-spec community if you want–or don’t if you don’t want. Enjoy being in love as much as you can. Just do your thing, have fun, feel what you feel, and try not to worry about labels for a while. Then, when you’ve had a chance to relax and feel, you might want to come back to questioning, if you really do feel there’s something to question. Now, though, I think you need some space to get away from the fluid antagonism; questioning is I think happening now from fear and uncertainty, not from a curious interest if the word still applies, and that can lead us to making decisions that feel like a solution but abrade at us later. Take a break and come back to it, if questioning is the path you still wish to go down, but now is not the best time for questioning. Just be and enjoy the change. Because that’s something folks don’t talk about, the joy of shifting experiences. Sometimes it’s fun having sexual attraction and sometimes I am so glad I don’t feel it at all on any given day and sometimes it’s wonderful that it’s such a vague feeling, and I get to know all of these. Isn’t that awesome?

(I’ll emphasise that you’re still part of the aro-spec community if and while you question, anon. You’re still entitled to full and complete participation in the aro-spec community.)

But if aroflux is the word that makes sense of who you are, all the shifts and changes and variances and highlights and shadows? It’s yours, anon. It’s yours.

Hi princess! So imagine this lady who's always ALWAYS being negative abt her kids, never a kind word and only belittling, every other day, like "what did I do wrong really? What kind of kids have I raised? They're bla bla bla" with venom. And worst who doesnt acknowledge how negative + painful she is

When i try to talk to her nd ask her exactly whats the issue with 'me' or how can I help her to ease her burden as she keeps complaining how we're ungrateful or keeps comparing to other 'more acceptable in her eyes" children, she gets defensive nd won't answer properly. She says "ohhh, why don't U know that? arent u old enough to know?' and then starts ranting. when time after time ive begged her to clearly tell me, no passiv agressiveness please! it doesn't work nd i end up wondering why i even bother when im only the villain... Yes this ig is my role in her story that ive writen? confusing 😅

when I can, sometimes i try to help her even tho shes the sort who likes to stay busy so she'll find smth else to do lol, nd inside hope for her to be at least a little NOT negative today.... she either ignores or gets angrier nd goes all "hey, I didn't ask U to do that! How dare u act like u did me a favor! U think ur perfect while im just ur servant right?" when i never even intend that? i effing HATE negative reinforcement nd i feel so damn bad for her, nd shes taught me how negative reinforcement is the worst thing to use, cuz it never teaches anything only builds resentment!!

this is smth i realised that she cant be pleased, she wants to get attention what I mean is, whenever we spend time together, she is perfectly fine when we're talking abt her hobbies nd interests which tbh im NOT that interested in personally but since she likes them i like to discuss them with her nd help her out with projects. not to say "ohhh im so cool i help out with her projects look at me so kind of me! lol" its just it hurts when ur own mother doesn't even rpetend to care abt ur interests. i suspect deep down i carried this feeling of unworthiness ie if even my own mother doesn't care abt my hobbies/projects, no one will . which is why i feel so uncomfortable sharing anything personal to my rl friends cuz im so afraid theyll reject me too :(

By not caring i dont mean I expect her to listen nonstop to me. she has her own life but i mean she purposely zones out, rolls her eyes which HURT SM when i was a child, or even worst she says "im not interested" nd shuts the convo. again, at this point, idec anymore as ive learned slowly to value nd cherish my own value nd hobbies etc which is an important lesson anyway

the only thing i want is to stop her being so painfully negative LOUDLY. Yk I suspect becuz of her dwelling on whats wrong in her life, shes gotten severe numbness nd swelling in one arm? and even the doctors cant detect whats wrong! nd its hella painful nd she can't even lift it up sometimes!!!! THIS GOES ON TO SHOW HOW INNER CONSTANT NEGATIVITY CAN BE REFLECTED IN THE OUTER AKA OUR BODY!! To anyone else who cant help have negative thoughts ONLY, u gotta try to change them! Please! Bcuz my mother's pain in her arm is sometimes crazily too much! Nd this in turn, esp on days where all i hear is her gripe, its worse at night!

Anyway I was compeled to write this as a while ago i went to the kitchen for water nd from her room i heard her loudly complain nd mutter abt how her kids are "socially unacceptable" nd "dear god i pray please please don't let me rely on them in old age, i made a mistake raising them!" She's the sort whos got so many limiting beliefs that initially led to my deep unhappiness w/o knowng it was these beliefs at play eg if you dont become a certain career, youll have no security, or recently she keeps nd keeps lamenting abt not havjng 'enoufh money' (we r having kinda financial crisis due to some rlly terrible decisions by my other parent) or 'oh Im STUCK with this [bad word] family!" when she saw a movie abt someone who went on a trip nd began comparing her own life to it. She's so talented we all ask her to start an online business but she backs away nd says 'how will i ever get capital? im doomed to never have what i want' nd I myself have a bit empty wallet temporarily so i cant help her. Nyway, while im trying to fix my own beliefs, seeing her rage nd let negativity completly take over her is alarming nd worrying to me. it makes me feel negative emotions too. im not entirely confident in mastering my mind ywt. i was that overly sensitive kid at school nd i absorv her energy a lot. Those who u love the most, hurt u the most. nd i agree bcoz while im hurt by her (not that shes intentionally hurting me. THRU her im hurt), i do love her. Nd now thanks to the law ik by changing my beliefs abt things, i can change the world

My reason is i cant change her bcuz she gets hella maddened if i suggest a less negative thought. Nd she instead starts blaming me for my 'decisions in Life' which SHE would NEVERRR make oh no... -_- Nd im not saying i try to be obnoxious abt it hell no! im talking abt getting frustrated at the table talking abt smth abt a random topic, then suddenly listening to her start complaining abt e g. Some kid whos "richer" than i am heatedly! nd if i steer the convo away, nope, she keeps fuming a bit

so since i can only change myself, how the hell do i change my assumptions of her? i affirm having a great mother, happy nd open with her thriving business etc. i affirm this but i cant focus cuz doing so inevitbly makes me sad lol cuz i rmmbr how happy nd liveky she used to be before some unfortunate things in our family that started yrs ago. Which affected us all. Any advice, please? im on a mental diet hwoever the earlier incident of her complaining abt us again caused smth in me to snap. im distancing myself from her but the short times im with her there's only a strong air of disapproval, pain nd misery around her. Tbh i was like that pre-law, not knowing how destructiv my thoughts were, while she was the happy optimistic grateful one. Nd now? Im only slightly more self aware than before ie im NOT saying im able to rise in consiousness SOo much that im 'untouchable' nd buddha-like! Nor is my mom wrong bcuz she's me pushed out! its only her lvl of conciousness nd thats it. its just I don't want to cause or feel more pain or hav any excuse to curse her ,when ego sometimes takes over, anymore. im having some personal issues to take care of too, which is why this is affecting me too much. Sort of like having a weak immune system already?

I want my happy intelligent mom back. ik i got to change me... but the doing is way harder than the saying

🫀anon

Okay first of all imma say it cause I don’t think nobody else will…. Your mom is shitty…. There, I said it. She is abusive and selfish and a bad mom. No parent should ever treat their children that way and make them think they need to fix them.

Other than that yes it’s true she is your manifestation but I think it’s important to let emotions out. Be mad at her for once, stop rationalizing her bad behavior. You have the right to feel mad, angry, sad. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

I know it seems impossible to keep a mental diet when you see the negative behavior you wish to change every day. I assume you live in the same house. My suggestion is to stick to your mental diet and try to interact as little with her as possible. Go out more often or stay a bit more in your room. Every time you see a behavior from her that you don’t like, and you feel like affirming doesn’t help, close your eyes and see her hugging you and telling you all sorts of beautiful, loving things you’d like to hear from her.

You should also work on your self concept. Parental issues often manifest from poor self concept. Affirmations like “I am worthy, I am loved, I am enough, I am respected, I am cherished” work amazing.

I know you said they don't have a concrete story yet, but would you be ok with telling us more about Zan and Ghost? They seem really interesting

Anon you don't know what you unleashed its like past 1am here but I could talk about them forever.

This is gonna be under the cut because nobody has to be subjected to this.

General quick point: Both of these started off as bnha oc's but then reached that point where I was like 'yeah, I want them in their own story' so rn their powers are just powers with no wider context since I aint got that story

I'm gonna start with Zan cuz he's older by creation and my fav oc atm. For him we have TW's of child abuse and neglect, familial death, trauma, drug abuse, depression and anxiety, though I'll be running through this points as quickly and non graphically as I can cuz...I'm not gonna make you read my thesis so it should be fine.

His full legal name is Kazuya Moriyama but he goes by Zan Mori, he's 24. Zan was created to be two things 1. Character design with a fully body tattoo 2. Someone to use a power I came up with but didn't match with a character yet.

Here's that power, yes I have a copy paste off it:

Nightmare fuel is a power that terrorizes everyone, including its user. Zan’s sweat contains a special kind of chemical that when smelled causes mild to severe hallucinations, paranoia and other fear responses by interacting with victims brain chemistry. However, this chemical is only contained in sweat that he produces as a result of fear so, for example if he goes running in the gym, nothing bad will happen. The strength of the power depends on how much Zan himself is afraid and how much sweat he is producing. A weak dose will only result in sense of unease, a feeling of being watched, escalating through general paranoia, with its worst manifestation being complete loss of touch with reality and intense hallucinations. It's odorless and since it’s a chemical can be stored for later use. The last stages of it are very hard to reach because they require for Zan to be at similar levels of severe distress. It affects him as well, often resulting in endless loop of him being afraid, activating his power because of his fear, the power causing more intense fear and so on.

So here is where we start to build.

Zan's backstory hinges on him developing this power very early on in his life, as a result of mutation that his parents were not ready for. Kids get scared of things, a lot, especially when their own power feeds back into that fear. His family quickly spiraled from it, going from trying to figure out how to help him to neglecting him to dying very bloodily in front of him as a result of the constant psychological distress. After that he was cycled through different foster and youth homes with pretty similar result before striking it on his own basically as soon as he could.

Zan's main motivation is to find a way to get rid of his power. He hates it, hates what it represents and how it essentially stripped away his ability to connect with anyone. He doesn't control it, he doesn't activate it, it simply happens to him whenever he gets distressed and as someone with deep seated anxiety caused by that very same power, he gets distressed a lot.

He self-medicates. He self medicates a lot. I don't really have the world planned out but it's very much a world where powers are a new thing and the society just doesn't have systems in place to catch people like Zan. So he basically keeps himself high as much as he can, to numb himself out so he doesn't feel anything so he doesn't get scared so his power doesn't get activated.

When I created Zan, I expected him to be a very jaded, angry, abrasive character and in some ways he is. He's very slow to trust and tends to keep away from people. His first instinct is to mock and insult, he dresses like an emo reject, he's absolutely covered in tattoos, he's a dark humored pessimist and just not the kind of person you want to be around for long. He's also probably one of the most empathic characters I have on the roster atm. He's like, a natural big brother. Any kids younger then him, fuck older than him but awkward and unsure, he's instantly adopting. Fuck everything else, his kids now, he'll make them lunch and make sure they get to school. Zan is more so abrasive out of need than out of actual malice or bad attitude. He does want to be close to people he just knows how that always ends so keeping away is a lot safer. He is genuinely very loving and soft when he lets himself be. He's not great about advice but he's a good listener and the type to throw everything on the backburner to come and help a friend out. He is inherently kind, he just doesn't allow himself to be so very often, unless someone damn well takes a chisel and digs it out of him.

Fun fact time:

He's got a knack for painting and idolizes Van Gogh

He's got a cat named Shikei who he picked up after it got run over by a car, it likes only him and wants to see the rest of humanity burn

Here are his established tattoos, yes I have a copy paste for that too:

Full body tattoo in shape of a jungle of thorns crawling over his entire body, save most of his face. The whole piece is done in eerie, cold colors, with a sudden splash of warmer color here and there, the thorns themselves being colored in misty and muted blues and greens. Over his heart, there is a tattoo of a birds nest, but the nest is breaking apart, suffocated by the thorns clustering around it and breaking into it, its branches drenched in blood, the baby birds in it barely even noticeable. Along the length of his spine and over the width of his hips an ornate cross of st. peter is painted, also crumbling, red spider lilies breaking through the frail rock. His shoulder blades are covered in sunflowers, strikingly bright on the cold surface of the thorns and painted in Van Gogh style. There is a chain of daisies lines across his neck and down to his chest, covering an old scar and a tiny ring of roses over his ring finger. On the nape of his neck, two butterflies are pinned by the thorns, appearing to still be alive and in agony as their bodies are pierced. A silver snake slithers through the thorns on his right arm, though its shade helps it blend in with the color of thorns, it’s body a tiny bit coiled, considering should it strike or not. On the back of his left hand there is a tiny leaf bug, trying to hide amidst the bare thorns and on the outer shell of his ear, mostly hidden from view by his head, is a ladybug, wings spread like it is about to fly away. A swarm of blue butterflies paint the silhouette of his lungs across his skin and two koi fishes circle each other endlessly on his hip. In thorns climbing up and down his neck, there are tiny fireflies, just barely bright enough to be seen. Two thin thorn branches separate themselves from the cluster on his neck and climb across his temples, their thorns appearing to be piercing through his skin and letting blood flow.

The tattoo is still in progress.

This was the brief summary.

Ghost! Ghost is a lot newer than Zan, I only made them at the start of this year so they are a lot less detailed but they hit the ground running. Their tw are mostly prostitution and existentialist feelings but I'm not getting into anything in detail.

Their full name is Ghostown Verb and yes they did name themselves that. They are 27 and their power is Forget me not, as I said previously, as soon as they are out of someone's line of sight, to that person it's like they never existed. The memories of meeting them return as soon as they are back in the field of vision but uhh you can see how it would be super easy to lose a child like that.

Ghost grew up on the street in a kind of do whatever you can when you can how you can attitude. Turns out it's really hard to get help from anyone when they can't remember you as soon as they stop looking at you, which includes but is not limited to social workers, well meaning passerby, police, foster homes and landlords. The name and face for the paperwork doesn't exist and people just find themselves grasping at nothing, feeling like they are forgetting something but not knowing what it is. It works in some ways, shoplifting is a lot easier when you're sure that you can just turn a corner and be safe, but it's mostly just a hassle. Ghost is homeless most of the time and when they were old enough for it their career of choice became prostitution simply because it's pretty much the only job where the customer doesn't need to remember you after they're no longer looking at you and it's not like Ghost has to answer to any boss who would have to either.

They had not had a kind life but they are the let and let live type. They don't stress a lot about things and generally take everything in a fly. They are very extroverted, very loud, very friendly. They form friendships fast because they know they'll lose them fast and same goes with love affairs. They live in the moment because for everyone else the moment is the only place where they exist. Loud fashion, loud words, loud actions, provocative and noticeable, they just want to be seen by people, remembered by people, they want the attention on them even though they know it's useless. Much like Zan they also have no control of their power so all they can do is live with it. At least it doesn't bring anyone any direct harm, they are grateful for that much.

But it does leave them displaced, unanchored. They don't have any support system, no family, no long term friends. The system can't even remember them for long enough to decide it isn't equipped to deal with them. They flitter through peoples lives, there one moment and gone the next. The biggest impact they can hope to have is the nagging feeling of having forgotten something.

It's not like they are exactly sad about it, their main mentality is just not to worry about things they can't change. These are the cards they've been dealt with and play those cards they shall. At the very least they are having fun with their life, doing whatever they want with no one remembering them long enough to stop them.

But it's a lonely existence with no viable human connection. That much does get to them.

Fun facts!

They have a tattoo of a forget-me-not on their shoulder, I haven't decided do they have it before the plot whatever it is starts, or do they get it cuz Zan's influence.

They like to make their own clothes when they can, though having a stable enough place to be for a long enough time is rare.

Their biggest fear is that when they die nobody will remember to look for their body :)

That was a brief rundown of these two! If you made it to the end damn congrats I love you

Heya I don't mean to sound passive aggressive in any way, but I was just wondering why is it that you dislike Super a lot? I mean you're allowed to like and dislike whatever you want, and I'm in no way trying to change your opinion. I'm just curious as to why you seem to have a burning hatred for it?

Nah you don’t sound passive aggressive ^^ if you were you wouldn’t have acknowledged that my opinion is a valid one, you’re cool

I’ve avoided going into too much detail to avoid The Discourse, but essentially it comes down to a few main points: ships I don’t like, characters I don’t care about, pacing, terrible one-note characterization, and the fans.

I know a lot of that sounds really petty but with all my Sweet Home Alabama discourse yesterday are any of you surprised

I’m going to put my more detailed reasoning under a cut because boy howdy it is long and I have some Things To Say

Ships I Don’t LikeOkay this, honestly, is incredibly petty, and it’s not even the pettiest thing on here. But I HATE Trunks/Mai. I hate it. It is the worst ship that’s had the word “canon” sneezed at it in all of DB history, and that’s coming from someone who firmly believes Yamcha/Bulma was unhealthy for both parties. One of my rules for accepting writing commissions and requests is that I will not accept ships with an “aged up” child character in a relationship with an adult. (Aged up children in relationships with other aged up children are a different story, as they’re at least at the same stage of development, but that’s an issue for another day.) Trunks/Mai has the opposite problem: it’s an “aged down” adult character in a relationship with a child. You can argue about Future Trunks’s age all you want, but that changes nothing about kid Trunks and Mai. She’s in her forties. He’s nine at most. How is this not the creepiest thing in the world what the fuck.

Even with Future Trunks and Future Mai, it still grosses me out because it’s the same thing. Assuming the Pilaf Gang did (somehow) wish to be young again in the Future timeline (which...I don’t see how they could have, that doesn’t make sense continuity-wise, but continuity has never been DB’s strong suit), that still makes her way older than him. And if they didn’t, well, that’s just worse. Also how is she still that young looking.

Honestly the only reason I can think of for Toei/Toriyama to bring that into existence was so people would stop shipping Trunks with Goten and Future Trunks with Gohan. Which. I get it, you don’t like it, they’re your characters, et cetera, but could you maybe not have done it in a somewhat less creepy way? Dude. What 40-something wants to be in a relationship with a kid? Even if said 40-something looks like a kid? It’s creepy and gross and I hate it more than any other canon ship.

Characters I Don’t Care AboutI’ve heard a lot of people refer to Super as The Goku and Vegeta Hour and...yeah. DB’s never been great at remembering their MILLIONS of side characters (humans especially once Z happened) and Super doesn’t take enough steps to change that imo. Don’t get me wrong--I like Goku, and I...tolerate Vegeta, but characters who were once considered major players are relegated to backseat viewers again, and nobody can keep up with Goku except Vegeta sometimes (when previously most of them could at least hold their own). I’ll admit, I like the looks of some of the new characters, there are some who seem like they have interesting characterizations (like Kale.....though I’ll be the first to admit I’m biased as hell towards buff women). But Zamasu/Goku Black or whatever just seemed like a couple of shitty Hot Topic teens. I went to high school with people like them and they were annoying.

There’s just too much of a focus on a few specific characters while other characters get the shaft, and the new characters and plot points they bring up just...aren’t interesting. I don’t give a shit about yet another “gotta get stronger” plot you guys. Ugh.

PacingOKAY I’LL ADMIT this is the pettiest thing on this list but like...I’ve never liked the DB anime’s pacing. Ever. Remember how I used to liveblog DBZ? I got like 10 episodes in and got fed up with how long it took to get anywhere. Stuff that took like...a couple chapters in the manga took five half-hour episodes to deal with. And you’d think they would’ve learned in 30 years, especially since they don’t have to base everything off the manga now, but no, the pacing is still awful. And it’s not just the whole “Namek takes half a season to explode” stuff (although that is really annoying, and knowing the real-world reason for it doesn’t make it less annoying), it’s that every shot lasts longer than it needs to. You could cut the running time in half just by trimming the shots slightly. It’s bad, and I’ve always stuck to the manga because of it. It’s not that I’m a Manga Purist(TM) or anything, I just...can’t watch the anime.

Terrible, One-Note CharacterizationYou all know who I mean when I say this, but it extends to more than just Yamcha.

Videl’s character was absolutely decimated in this show. 18′s the only female fighter we have left anymore because of it. I once saw an argument saying that Videl not fighting anymore makes sense because she was traumatized by being killed by Buu, which okay fine fair enough, but 1) nobody said she had to fight in life-or-deaths situations, AT LEAST LET HER BE SAIYAWOMAN AGAIN YOU COWARDS, and 2) that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of her firecracker personality and replace it with the sweet, docile housewife type. We saw it with Chi-Chi...sort of, we don’t need it with Videl, too. Once a female character gets married in DB, they stop fighting (except 18) and stop being important to the plot (except Bulma...sometimes (remember when Bulma was the main character? Pepperidge Farm remembers)). Three times is a pattern, Toriyama, I’m just saying.

Goku even gets hit with shades of this. He’s not an idiot, you guys, he can read a dang grocery list. Yes, he’s selfish and simple and bad at communicating and often doesn’t realise what he’s done wrong until it’s pointed out to him, but he’s also a fast learner, a really good tactician (like. look at some of his fights in DB and early Z, those are some Good Tactics), and not a complete asswipe. We don’t get to see those good traits much in Super. He had no reason to not tell people the stakes for the tournament to get them to join. None. There was no reason to lie. Yes, his biggest flaw is his inability to communicate with his friends and teammates (COUGHS LOUDLY AND LOOKS AT THE CELL ARC) but Jesus you guys, his friends would have helped him if he told them the real stakes too? He didn’t need to lie? There was no point? I’m so angry?

The worst of it though is Yamcha. For the love of fuck, you guys, Yamcha has more characterization than just “guy who sucks at everything and has a thing for Bulma.” Like that’s some Funi dub shit there, not original canon. What happened to when he said he’d given up fighting in the Buu arc? Where did that go? You could have done so much more with that concept rather than have him still be overconfident in his abilities and slamming him at every turn. Even when he does get to do stuff, it’s obvious that it’s just a setup to make him fail so Vegeta will look good by comparison. It’s awful. The writers have such an obvious hard-on for Vegeta and they keep cutting Yamcha down. Those bits where he’s waiting for Goku to ask him to the tournament even though we all know he won’t? They’re not funny, they’re just sad. Also, on that note, why is Roshi there? Yamcha surpassed Roshi years ago, Roshi himself says so! I get that he wasn’t in the RF movie because his voice actor was busy, but they couldn’t have given a better reason than just Tien leaving him behind because he didn’t think he could keep up? At least have him sick in bed with a fever and wanting to go anyway and being forced to stay behind by a worried Tien or something guys, geez. And his VA was obviously around for that arc of Super, so what the hell.

(Yes I was salty earlier about Yamcha still fighting and shit but if you’re going to drop the “Yamcha retiring from fighting” plot point then at least DO something with it you cowards)

FansOH GOD, THE FANS. Not to say that people who dislike Super are perfect or ideologically pure (I once knew a person who bragged about trolling/picking on Super fans...we do not talk), but the people who do like the show seem to spend an awful lot of time yelling at us and telling people they’re not real fans if they like GT more than Super or don’t like either or whatever.

And of course the VegeBullies are out in full force over it, too. VegeBul gets a lot of screentime, and when fans of other ships (GoChi primarily) say “hey we’d like more content” they get shut down or yelled at. They demand more content despite already having more than anyone else at this point. Shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the fact that Tien and Yamcha stood next to each other again in peace.

But that’s getting dangerously close to ship war territory and I try to stay out of that. (It’s hard, because I’m a salty, bitter person, but I try.) I’ll also say Not All VegeBuls(TM) even though I shouldn’t have to because if I don’t I’ll get at least 10 angry anons in my inbox flipping their shit.

You know what the really sad thing is? When Super was first announced, I was mega excited. And I really liked the first couple episodes! But they veered away from making it the Martial Arts Themed Slice of Life Comedy Hour we deserved, they retold the same story the movies already did instead of just making the movies canon and continuing from there (thereby drawing it out way too much), and they just...fucked it up in general. I can’t stand Super and while I don’t expect to sway anyone’s opinion with this, you did ask me why, and I hope now you can understand.

I wish you would write a fic in a post-apocalyptic world where Aaron and Robert have a soul bond. They're separated and don't realise and find each other. I don't know what happened but I like the idea of there being danger and stuff.

this prompt would probably be longer if i let it, anon, but i have so many fics already to write; (warnings for post apocalyptic happening and grossness in parts)

There’s a scar on Aaron’s shoulder. 

It’s not like his other scars; this one has a distinct shape, looks a little like a squashed infinity symbol. It throbs every time he moves, with every passing tree, every rock. 

“How long have ya had it?” Liv asks one night. She’s turned away from him, back a taut line, and he doesn’t know how to help her, how to make it hurt less. 

“A while,” Aaron says, deliberately vague. He doesn’t want to think about it. 

“Who-”

Adam sucks in a breath behind him.

“Get to sleep,” Aaron says, cutting across them both. He curls his hands into fists, feels the nails dig into the palm of his hand and breathes out slowly. 

Their group is six strong. 

They stand out too much and Aaron wishes he could lose some of them, but they’re headed in the same direction. Might as well, Adam had said, all cheer and emotion. Aaron learns their names (Vanessa, Finn, Nikhil), but lets Adam do the talking. 

Aaron keeps his fingers locked tight around the gun on his hip, tries not to think about the steadily decreasing ammo shared between them, keeps his eyes on the horizon, sparing a glance for Liv.

It’s been a long time since he recognised something, though the ground is baked enough that he doubts he’d see any landmark as familiar. Scorch marks litter what little grass remains, and the smell of smoke is thick. It’s a familiar scent, one that clings to Aaron’s skin. 

“How much farther?” Liv asks, fingers on her phone. It doesn’t work, hasn’t for over four months, but she still holds it sometimes. It’s not like she’d have anyone to call, Aaron thinks bitterly, but says nothing. 

“Dunno,” he mutters, because he doesn’t. 

The scar on his shoulder burns. 

“We need to find somewhere to sleep, mate,” Adam tells him later, darkness creeping over the sky. 

It’s dangerous to be out in the open, but they haven’t seen anything close to civilization for hours. 

“There’s a shelter,” Nikhil points out, a horse shed standing barely upright on a hill across the way. “It’ll be better than being out here.”

Aaron shrugs, fingers the butt of his gun. “Fine.”

The field is open, and Aaron’s skin prickles with fear. He ignores the throb of his scar, the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He walks with his back to the group, eyes scanning the way they came, across the horizon. It’s not like it’s easy for someone to sneak up on them, but it’s not like they’re protected either. 

Adam and Finn reach the shed first, both of them giving it the customary sweep and thumbs up. Aaron hangs back, makes sure Liv, Vanessa and Nikhil are in inside before letting out a slow breath, sinking into the darkness of the shelter and closing his eyes. 

There’s an emptiness heavy in his chest and he focuses on that, hates it with every fibre of his being. 

Aaron comes awake quickly, the familiar wail that sets his teeth on edge, and he’s already thumbing the safety off of his gun. 

Liv’s eyes are wide, afraid, and Aaron shoves her back behind him, sees Adam and Nikhil shift to take a stance against the opposite wall of the shelter. 

It’s light enough that Aaron can see familiar shapes in the distance, their loping gait as sickening as the noise that follows them. They’re not moving closer to the shelter, and Aaron’s heart is in his mouth, hopes they keep moving down the trail. 

He watches them, finger itching to pull the trigger, but where there are two, there are usually more; much more than the six of them can handle. 

“Aaron,” Liv whispers, her fingers on his ankle. “What do we do?”

“Wait,” Aaron says, even though he’s sick of it, wants to do something. “We’re not leaving here till they’re long gone.”

Liv sits back on her haunches, annoyed but fearful. She wants a gun, wants to help, but Aaron’s still trying to protect something in her. It’s not going to be around for long, not in this world, not now, but he can try. 

It’s late afternoon. 

The trees have started to thin out and there’s the familiar sound of a river to their left. 

“Are we close?” Vanessa asks, scratching at her arm. It’s bandaged, stained red at the edges, and Aaron knows they need to find something for it soon. Not a bite, thankfully, but still a danger if they don’t get to help. 

Aaron opens his mouth to say something, hears a snap, the sound of a gun cocking and someone says, “Don’t move.”

There’s a rush of activity.

Aaron knows the ground they’re standing on, knows every inch of this land, knows exactly who these people are.

Nikhil is yelling something, Vanessa has her good arm tight around Liv, who looks none to pleased, and even Finn has his gun out, looking about as threatening as Aaron’s ever seen him. Adam’s the only one as calm as Aaron, they both know.

The mark on Aaron’s shoulder is burning so much he feels like his skin is on fire. 

The owner of the gun currently pressed against Aaron’s cheek isn’t familiar, but that doesn’t mean anything. Her lip curls up, eyes hard. “How many of you are there?”

“Six,” Aaron says immediately, holding up a hand to quiet Nikhil down. There’s movement in the periphery of Aaron’s vision. Nobody appears but he gets the message. “We’re headed for Emmerdale.”

There’s a flicker in the woman’s eyes. “Isn’t everyone?”

Aaron’s shoulder is a constant reminder that he isn’t just everyone. “I’ve been there before.”

“If I had chocolate for every time I’d heard that,” the woman sneers, gesturing with her free hand over her shoulder. “I’d be a satisfied woman.”

“Aa-”

“Listen,” Aaron says, loud enough that he drowns out Adam. “You tell Holly there’s someone here to see ‘er.”

The woman’s eyes narrow. “Who’s Holly?”

“My sister,” Adam says immediately. He’s pissed, hands clenched into fists, and Aaron gets it, he does, but he also knows why this is happening, the need for it. 

“Adam,” Aaron says, then, to the woman, he sighs. “We’re not here to steal nothing. I’ve been to Emmerdale before. Holly, Victoria, Cain, bet they’re all names you know, right?” The woman is wavering, Aaron can tell, but it’s not until he says, “How about Robert?” that she takes a step back, sees the recognition on her face. 

“Christ,” she says, gesturing again over her shoulder. There’s a sound from just ahead and the familiar crackle of a handheld radio. “Aaron.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything, doesn’t have to. 

Eventually, a head pokes out from behind a tree, a guy that looks vaguely familiar. “All clear.”

Finally. 

Emmerdale has changed. 

The closer they get to the village, the thicker the acrid smell of smoke becomes. The path winds up a hill, long and arduous, but as they get to the top, there are two mounds either side of the path. They’re both aflame, the crackle and hiss of fire louder the higher they climb. Familiar misshapen faces, and Aaron feels the bitter satisfaction curl in his belly. 

They crest the hill and Aaron feels like he can breathe;

the village comes into sight.

Aaron reaches up, fingers brushing his shoulder. 

“What is this place?” Liv says. 

“Home,” Adam tells her, grin splitting his face. 

Aaron feels the same giddiness in his chest, the want thrumming under his skin, but it’s not just for the village, not just for Holly and Victoria and his mum. 

It’s for someone else, someone he’s missed.

The path that winds into the village has changed, huge gates either side, a makeshift bunker along the back. It’s protected. 

The village road used to be open. The village used to be a hub of activity. 

The village used to be free of them. 

The burning piles outside mean they’re closer now, getting braver. Aaron hates the thought of his anyone in danger, but much less his family. 

“How long sine you were here?” Liv asks, sounding bored. There’s interest in her, though, Aaron can hear it. 

“Three years,” Aaron says, voice choked. He remembers leaving, remembers Adam offering to come with him. I have to see Liv, he’d said. I have to know if she-

Go.

He’ll never forget hearing it, the pain, the regret, but the understanding rolling over him in waves. 

It still hurts, still makes his shoulder ache. 

Victoria’s waiting by the main gate, her fingers white around the metal. She gestures to her left and Aaron hears the creak of iron, the shift of metal on concrete. The doors swing out, leaving a gap big enough for the group to walk through. 

“Adam,” she breathes, launching herself at her husband. “God, I just heard.”

Adam just grips her, holds her tight enough that Aaron thinks she probably can’t breathe. Guilt stirs in his stomach, knows he tore more apart than just his own heart. 

Victoria’s still talking. “I worried when Robert said - I’m sorry, if we knew where you were we would have come.”

“It’s alright,” Adam says, touching her face. Aaron’s heart aches. 

Victoria kisses him gently, ignorant of the shifting feet of Aaron’s company. “What happened to him?”

Adam frowns. “To who?”

Victoria frowns, but everything makes sense. 

The throbbing, the burning, the emptiness.

“Tell me he doesn’t think I’m dead,” Aaron says, frantic.

Victoria starts, her eyes widening as she looks at him. “Oh god, Aaron. But he said - Aaron, you’re alive?”

Aaron has barely enough time to think before Victoria’s launching herself at him, wrapping arms around his shoulders. She’s crying, he thinks vaguely. “Vic, tell me he’s okay.”

“He felt it,” Victoria says, looking confused. “He was a mess, wouldn’t-”

“I was attacked,” Aaron says, remembers it like it was yesterday. Adam closes his eyes, Liv looks sick, but Aaron plows on. “I got bitten.”

There’s a look of horror on Victoria’s face and she goes to pull away. “Are you-”

“I’m fine,” Aaron presses, shows her the scar on his forearm. “It wasn’t deep enough. Told Adam to - well, if I so much as made a noise, but my fever broke and I was fine.”

Victoria presses a hand to her mouth. “Oh Aaron.”

“Tell him I’m here,” Aaron presses, skin itching, a steady thrum in the back of his head. “He has to know, Vic.”

“Who has to know?” Liv asks. 

“Robert,” Aaron says, like it’s the answer to everything. 

Victoria leads the way into the heart of the village, the Woolpack sign swinging in the breeze. It’s familiar, more like home than Aaron’s ever felt, and his heart is in his mouth. He thinks of his mum, of Debbie and Cain and his family, but mostly of Robert. There’s a shiver tracing his spine and his heart is thumping double time in his chest. 

More villagers that Aaron recognises, and even some he doesn’t, filter out of houses. 

Victoria gestures at the Woolpack as they pass, but Aaron’s eyes are on the end of the road, the familiar house at the end. “Aaron, your mum will want-”

“She can wait,” Aaron says. “I need him to-”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” There’s someone stalking up the path of the Mill, someone familiar, something that makes Aaron’s whole body ache with need. “Vic, you can’t just bring people in and-”

“We’re people now, eh?” Adam says, eyes flicking to Aaron. 

“Adam,” Robert says, breath punched out of him. He stalks toward Adam and Aaron’s heart is in his mouth but then Adam’s being pulled into a hug. It shouldn’t be surprising, not after all this time, but it makes something else in Aaron break.  “I worried when I felt - that you were-”

“I’m fine mate,” Adam says, sounding soft and awkward at the same time. They pull apart. “There’s something-”

“Robert,” Victoria says, hand on his arm. “Look.”

Robert follows her gaze and Aaron feels it land on him. There’s a moment, a split second, when Aaron’s heart stops, when his whole body feels weightless. Robert’s face crumples. It’s the only word to describe it. One moment he’s standing straight, the next he just falls and Aaron grabs him, pulls him in. 

“I’m here,” he says, because he knows what it’s like, knows the emptiness and the worry and the fear. “I’m real, I’m here.”

“Aaron,” Robert says, voice tight. His hands grab for Aaron’s waist, bunch the fabric of his shirt in shaking fingers. “Tell me I’m not-”

“You’re not,” Aaron says, hears the dreaming even before Robert says it. “I’m here.”

Robert’s hand shifts to Aaron’s shoulder, Aaron’s skin burning everywhere he touches it. Robert’s frantic, tugs at the shirt until he exposes shoulder. Aaron knows what he’s looking for, feels the skin warm and then cool, the throbbing fading into a dull ache. It feels right for the first time in months, years, and god, god, Robert’s here. 

“I love you,” Aaron says, the words spilling out before he can stop them. “Every day I wanted, I tried.”

“I love you,” Robert says, burying his face in Aaron’s neck, breathing him in. 

Everything else falls away but this; them, he and Robert. 

Back. 

Safe. 

Together.

I'm in the same position as the girl who's never had contact with a guy and it has made me depressed. I don't feel pressured to be with somebody, I truly just want someone to show me affection and love and for me to give that back. It's been hell being surrounded by love and I just feel so alone. And I think that's what I'll be because i can't even attract a guy or get someone to look at me. It's biological for us to seek out each other and nobody finds me appealing. I feel so failed as a woman.

Part 2: I can't stand being around couples anymore or my friend who has a boyfriend because it just reminds me of how lonely I am. I have moments where I just lay awake at night and cry myself to sleep. I know I'm not one of those people who are content being alone or would be content to die alone. I honestly don't see the point of life If you don't have that deep intimate love to share with someone, (because friends move away, get their own lifes) I don't want to be 50 and come home to nothing

Ugh, I just want to honestly give all of you that feel this way the biggest hugs in the world, like seeing this broke my heart just a little bit? I know it can be so easy to want to do this but please do not ever base your worth or success as a woman off whether or not a man wants you or finds you appealing, sweetheart. I’d do whatever I needed to in order for y’all to believe this, but you guys are so much more than what guys think of you, how attractive you are, etc. etc. etc. You really and truly are. You guys aren’t failures of women because you don’t have someone, you guys are amazing women solely because you are women. Period. Nothing else to it. There’s nothing that makes or breaks or defines your womanhood, and you shouldn’t let anything do that. This is honestly just gonna be a ramble, which I hope you don’t mind, I’ve just got so many feelings about some of the things you’ve said that I wanna share with you in the hopes it makes you feel a little better and maybe helps you out in some way? First things first: love. I feel like a lot of us just look at love as solely romantic love, but that’s not the only kind of love out there. Platonic love can be just, if not more powerful than romantic love; I’m the kind of person who believes that our soulmate may not always come to us in the form of a romantic partner, because I’ve absolutely found my soulmate in one of my best friends. We’ve got the same type of deep, intimate connection you might see in any romantic relationship, but we’re just not romantically interested in one another, if that makes sense? Don’t limit yourself to finding love in just a romantic relationship - strengthen your friendships and familial connections, appreciate the love you feel from those. That’s where I have always felt the most loved, and the most connected with people. They sometimes show us more love and affection than any romantic partner we have because those are the people who have known us longest and who know us best. Loneliness is all how you perceive things, too, I think. None of us are ever truly lonely, if we think about it, we just classify ‘loneliness’ based on what we’re without in life at the moment. Just because friends move away and continue their own lives doesn’t mean they still can’t be a part of yours! I’m still friends with people from elementary school and high school who have all gone our separate ways, most of my friends don’t even live in the same state, same country as me. And those relationships are just as fulfilling as any relationship as any romantic one I’ve been in, if not more. And life, life is so much more than finding a forever love. It’s a goal that so many of us have, sure, and that’s fine, but there’s a meaning beyond that that encapsulates life. Life is about doing the things that fulfill you the most and make you the happiest. Life is about being yourself, being in the pursuit of happiness (in more than just the form of romance) and living. Live, okay? Live in spite of the fact you don’t have a boyfriend like your friends - singledom is something you don’t get back once you’re in love, and it can be just as enjoyable as being in that relationship. It’s not about the being alone, it’s not the loneliness, it’s about getting to discover who you are! It’s about learning to love yourself first and I will tattoo this on my damn forehead, I swear, but self-love is the most important love. Period. I had this conversation with someone last night, but I made the mistake of looking for myself within a relationship, and if I wasn’t in a relationship I was either indifferent or hated myself and it was such a huge mistake on my part. I’ve not been in a relationship for a while, and yeah, it sucks when you’re the odd man out out of all your friends who have boyfriends or who garner more attention from potential interests, but I probably love me more than anyone in that friend group loves themselves, and I’m happy. I’m content - not with being alone, but I’m just content with where I am and where the journey’s taking me. I know there’s a greater plan in play and it’s gonna take it’s time, but in the meantime, I get to become the best version of myself possible for that person who I’m gonna be in a romantic relationship with for, well, forever. They’re gonna get to know the best version of Emily, because I’ve been able to truly live the parts of my life I wanted to and do the things I’ve dreamed of (seriously, I cried when I got to mark things off my bucketlist this year because it’s my fucking bucketlist, y’know? I’m doing the stuff I’ve always wanted to do whether or not someone was there by my side) and just learn to be happy with my life the way it is. And when things come into it or when they leave, I learn to be happy with that. I control what I can, and what I can’t, I can’t and I grow to accept that. Like I said, I’d do whatever I could if it would convince y’all of this much: the biggest, most important lesson I have ever learned in my life is that romantic relationships are not everything. They are amazing and beautiful, yes, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting one or even needing one. But there is so much more to your lives than just romance. Don’t consume yourself with the hunt of finding someone right now, they will come to you. I promise. Sometimes it happens when we’re looking, and sometimes it doesn’t. Good things take time, yeah? Let this take time, because when it comes to romance, you want someone who is meant for you. Rushing for affection and attention and essentially a warm body can lead you down a wrong path, and all the best things in life are worth the wait. Someone’s gonna come your way, princess, I promise. I can’t tell you when that may be because I unfortunately don’t have all the answers, but there is someone out there for everyone and you will find that person when you least expect it. That is when romantic love strikes us. When we least expect it. Did I think I was gonna be in my current situation (which I’ll definitely be posting more about later on) at this point in my life, if ever? Nope. But I am. You can’t see love in that way coming, you just can’t. Listen to me, angel: take a deep breath, wipe away the tears if there are any, get out of bed, put on an outfit that makes you feel good and do something that is gonna make you happy. Please don’t wallow or worry about the future, live in the present! You can’t get it back. Don’t beat yourself up over this stuff, don’t let it plague you and put you into a depression. Like I tell the other anons, your life is beautiful with or without a romance in it and you deserve to be happy all the time, not just when you’re in love with a boy. Don’t waste it, okay?

Whew. Right now, I feel like I just gave such a big sister speech, and I probably did, but I love you guys so much and I just want you to know that you all are so fucking amazing no matter who does or doesn’t want to be with you.