#but also theres a lot of hate going their way and even then they dont let them be silenced
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Hi, may i request some headcanons for Toby, Ej and Ben with a S/O who is really clumsy and always has new bruises?
toby, ej, and ben x reader who is clumsy
my legs hurt i hate how they tense up when i get stressed out it hurts so much
notes: reader is gn, ben is platonic as i do not feel comfortable writing romantic for him, heavy hcs for all of them naturally but esp ben
cws: edit
toby
he has a little bit of a disconnect between pain and injuries- both for himself and other people. obviously for himself its because of his CIPA, and that leaks into how he perceives others. he knows it hurts for them but he doesnt fully understand to what degree
still, he does his best to sympathize with you when you get hurt- actually you guys likely come up with a system.. a scale to rank how painful it is.. not just for physical pain! i can easily see this being used as a general thing for you guys to rate an experience both lightheartedly and as a serious thing
gets you meds as well as an icepack for your bruises so youre not too sore- hopefully
keeps an eye on the coloring of your skin, headcanon that he keeps tabs of the look of how an injury looks to determine severity.. as well as generally having a curiosity
he doesnt outwardly judge you all that much for your clumsiness, he knows his tics have caused some accidents so hes not going to fault you for a lot of your accidents
eyeless jack
tries to find a reason for your clumsiness, or at least tries to clear it of "okay do you have something internally thats happening", and if you actually do he does what he need to accommodate you
makes sure you dont needlessly get put into a situation that can lead to you getting hurt, he doesnt babyproof his place or yours.. nor does he treat you like youre a kid, but he does make precautions
lightly scolds you for not being careful if youre careless and roll with it as you get hurt- he doesnt want you to get hurt even if its something small
knows some tricks to lessen bruises before they get too bad, as well as ways to relieve any pain and swelling
medical interest really coming in clutch!
he hears crashing sounds and he just preps himself for whats about to transpire
he loves you but he does try to help you manage your clumsiness
ben
he thinks its a little funny that youre constantly hurting yourself, as long as its not a major injury- he also thinks its a little... pathetic... its a little mean for him to think that but hey, hes a bit of an asshole so its to be expected
he cant do much most of the time on account of him not being physically there- stuck in your phone or computer or some other device. but he does try to verbally be there for you- there in spirit!
if hes connected to the internet and hes able he does try to find some solutions to either lessen your clumsiness or how to make your bruises fade faster
tries to see if theres a cause to your clumsiness but its mostly him bullshitting you
"it could be a tumor" "you little shit its not a tumor"/ref/hj
more of a "lets move on and forget about it" kind of person, which isnt terrible especially if you find yourself embarrassed by your clumsiness
#creepypasta x reader#creepypasta x you#creepypasta imagine#ticci toby x reader#ticci toby x you#ticci toby imagine#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#eyeless jack imagine#ben drowned x reader#ben drowned x you#ben drowned imagine
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I just want to point out in this time where I'm losing all faith in this government there are people who aren't afraid to condemn genocide and the US government for being complicit and funding it
Rashida Tlaib is Palestinian-American and this entire month her colleagues and zionists have constantly put her down for defending her people and heritage, and I admire her strength in speaking up and remaining the voice of the people, especially when everyone else is too cowardly to say anything else
#im quickly losing all faith in this government but she and like a handful of others are making me hopeful#but also theres a lot of hate going their way and even then they dont let them be silenced#election day is tomorrow and just want to remind you guys when you're voting for your local elections this is how you put the people you#want in power this is how it starts#election day#rashida tlaib#that tab is full of racists and islamophobes or zionist sheep so i will cleanse it one by one#free palestine#gaza#gaza genocide#palestine
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Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.
For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.
I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.
When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!
And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.
"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.
"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.
"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.
Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?
At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.
I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?
I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.
I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.
Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.
#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags#ramblez#also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor#the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore#the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics#at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger#Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car#bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return-#also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from#bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from#bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo#a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same#the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x#its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb#it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate#okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-
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sometimes researching for avatar redesigns has you 6 layers deep into the Japan's Meiji era allies wiki
#im trying to mess with some of the stuff that feels weird about the ways the fire nation is depicted idk#like i do not feel optically it is good for like them to be so heavily based on japan's imperialist actions#while dressed in clothes that come from places japan colonized#but i dont want it to just be solely japanese though i did draw zuko and azula in hakama but its largely cause i wanted to draw hakama#and like the only place with strong japanese influence being kiyoshi island and my own frustration with the modern day samurai depiction#i think fundamentally it isnt a choice that had as much thought as i am putting in put into it but it does raise an eyebrow for me#anyway i think keeping the thai influence is fine despite the brief invasion japan had into thailand due to thailand then allying with japa#and further allying with the axis due to allying with japan#ugh and ive been told not to think this much about it because its fiction but its also fiction so so so heavily based on real places#and when you base fiction on real cultures you fall into some unintentional pitfalls#i also fucking hate the royal fire nation robes they look so meh and the most costumey out of everything in the show#they look like heavy blankets despite being a supposedly hot nation#theres ways to have heavy robes (heian era japan) but they look like i make them out of fleece and velvet blankets#back to kiyoshi island i think the really only aesthetically japanese reference in the show being an island of noble warriors is lame#plus over done#it feels like nowadays theres a lot of people who get all whiney about people saying fire nation is based off japan#but like dude the creators in the comics and korra like go even more into the japanese influence and clearly it was the original intentions#also i do think you could do some pretty interesting world building by having say there be an older cultural influence on kiyoshi island#from the fire nation especially if the place is established as a central port area then you tie in some okinawan or even hawaiian reference#and gives an explanation that makes sense to why kiyoshi stands out from the rest of the earth kingdom you have long term cultural trading#and it establishes interesting relationships even pre kiyoshi time thereby drawing back onto some real historic references#cause for awhile ryukyu china and japan used to be this trading triangle which could explain some of these various influences going on#i think you can get a really interesting harmony when you create the fire nation out of a mix of japan and thailand#i mean both have these floating buildings due to living on some pretty wet lands and theres harmony in that mix#god i did see one person go like “fire nation is more based on china because theres a lot of red and red is important in china”#my brother in christ red is also important in japan#red is important in like many many asian cultures#i mean of course a lot of that importance stems from china and cultural exchange with china but idk kinda silly to say with your whole ches#like if you want to bring china in then the dragons are the biggest thing like sure some mythos has dragons in japan#but a lot of those comes from china in some way
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Spent so long trying to separate my brain from the vague and undefined essence of My Being to survive the Mental Illness that I basically re-enacted Gnosticism 2.0 and not to be like, that's why my OCD emerged later than my more common flavoured generalized anxiety& chronic depression Brainrot, but it definitely Did Not Help. And now that I am (sometimes) at peace with my mind and given that I am no longer spending every waking moment trying to stay alive I have time to reflect on the lasting body-mind-soul division that I've created for myself and like. It fuckin sucks. I hate the body. I hate that I hate the body and being an incarnate creature. But also. It's so bad wrong awful. And tbh I still hate the mind a lot many days too!
#anyway bryn ur post is SO right and u are as always. correct#i just didnt wanna hijack it w rambles#but yeah.theee mental illness has done a number on me in many ways#but yeah the uh. body. we hate to see it. hate to have it.#smtn smthn tmg hebrews 11.40 i will get my perfect body back someday#if not by faith then by the sword im going to be restored. vibe. of it qll#also in the sparrow 2 emiliom talks abt this. and why he cant just get over what happened to him physically#because it was also a repeated assault of his soul#like yeah theres a lot of dynamics there re. divine abandonment and assault. but hes basically right#viz. my own hm horrible terrible no good very bad existence#sometimes i am terrified of eternity not for the usual reasons (im always terrified for those reasons its the ocd and existentialism)#but also for the like. physical resurrection??? in my religion??? fuck no. i DONT want that#i have to be stuck in this stupid ass form forever?#i cant even *** to get out of it ITS FOREVER#i want. to be a genderless shapeless benevolent void. maybe i can take on physical form when i want need#like the angels. i dont want THIS#anyway yeah yeah I'm trying but it just keeps getting harder#nothing fits right or looks right and im at the mercy of genetics giving me a body i dont want#and I cant even just sweat it out in agony bc oh boy look! youve now developed chronic joint pain TOO#if i cant look like i do in my mind i might as well be strong and powerful#but oh no. bitch is gonna get SO many physical ailments too#I DON'T WANNA DIE BUT I DONT WANNA LIVE LIKE THIS#franposting#brought to u by. button up shirt didnt sit right today. hips too thick for anything. have a whole extra goddam organ in my stomach#which i hate and do not want or need#etc etc etc
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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ohhhh thinking about the parallels between odin/maya and frost/marlow/valerie rn
#the way it all comes down to the need to be in control#like theres more nuance to it than that and there are multiple factors in each dynamic but maya and valerie were both isolated#and their respective toxic relationships w their families were allowed to fester and break them bc of that isolation#man. always imagined that valerie was closer to cheri but maybe she should connect more with maya#maya and cheri are sorta aware of the situation? but they dont know just how bad it is and unfortunately theres not a lot they can do#without marlow denying them access to valerie at all the way he did to felicity and aisling#i think maya would try to talk to him gently without oversharing but he’d probably be quick to shut it down#and even if he did know mayas backstory hed be like ‘’wtf im not like that guy at all!! that guy got aggressive with his kid i dont do that’#which is also what he does with frost. ‘’no ofc im not like my mom. my mom didnt give a fuck about me. i care so much about valerie!!’’#tfw you try so hard not to be like your abuser that you end up being toxic in the opposite way#echoed voice#tbh very curious to know how marlow will be recieved#assuming he’ll either be hated or all his worse actions will be shrugged off as ‘’oh its ok hes dad of the year anyways’’#maybe both w no inbetween whatsoever#personally i like him. hes my personal little trainwreck. he fascinates me. i want to put him in a tube and study him#he needs therapy sooo bad but unfortunately hes way too proud for it#also in his own way sakura does want marlow to stop self isolating w valerie#like hes not as clear about it as like cheri would be. i think hes mostly motivated by their rivalry. he wants marlow to better himself#and be a more worthy rival for him basically which is why hes constantly rubbing souvenirs in his face#sakura likes valerie but i think he kinda like. disregards her compared to her brother. he hasnt really picked up on whats going on based on#their interactions. but hmmmm…: perhaps now that hes staying in serenade for an extended amount of time….?
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absolutely wild to me that i will see the takes “mass effect andromeda is just a rewrite of me1″ and “mass effect andromeda just isnt a mass effect game” side by side do you not hear yourselves
#its n7 day i get to talk about mass effect all i want#i see the 'mea isnt a bad game its just a bad mass effect game' take so often#but like!! what does that even mean!! no one ever explains what they think qualifies as a mass effect game#i agree that elements of mea are similar to me1#but i dont necessarily think thats a bad thing?#it gives people something familiar to attach to when theyre surrounded by a new cast and galaxy they have to get to know#andromeda definitely qualifies as a mass effect game#and i especially respect it for trying to go back to the original roots of mass effect which was supposed to focus on exploration#does andromeda have faults? absolutely. disappointing is the best word i can use to describe iy#but my disappointment mainly comes from being able to see What they wanted to accomplish with mea and how they really fumbled it#due mainly to poor management#which is the saddest part#theres a lot of good ideas there!! especially with what you learn in the last like 5% of the game lol#people will compare mea to the entire completed me trilogy when thats not fair and should Only be compared to me1#in terms of its story and characters at least. and i think the mea cast developed much more by the end of the game than the og crew did in 1#like we all remember liara being a weird fangirl and tali being a walking dictionary#mea combat is the me series at its best even if youre one of the people who Hates that you cant control squadmates#having mapped powers makes the combat sooo much faster and more fluid and theres no way to have that while keeping the power wheel#i was sad about the loss of it too but your squadmates are pretty good at comboing your moves it just takes getting used to#also people who say the pacing is bad when they follow one mission across multiple planets when youre just supposed to focus on one location#like i said mea disappoints me but its still rated a 7/10 like thats not a bad score by any means?? i agree a 7 is fair#anything below a 5 is dubious but people think if a game is anything less than a 10 then its a failure#really the biggest hurdle to get over is the fact its a new cast in a new galaxy with a pc that is young and inexperienced#just such a shame that it got dogpiled and memed so hard that we'll probably never get a direct sequel it deserved a 2nd chance#mass effect andromeda get behind me#rant over andromeda deserved better#it speaks#ALSO the 2 player characters were twins thats GOLD and was underutilized i just want the ryders back
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also its very funny bc choosing a misdeeds mission will have mistos going up to you and being like 😒 do you REALLY wanna do this one. like the one im doing rn is about this sibling who was like hey. i dont want my sister to date. kill the guy shes dating. and mistos was like this is mushy relationship stuff and i dont wanna get involved :///// and when i get there, shalvas starts the battle with smth along the lines of i really dont want to do this but here we go. literally what is his deal
#twist rambles#♟#normally hes like ok ^-^ lets go into battle. its very funny to me bc its not JSUT my guilt over doing anything bad in games but they#will just be fucking miserable when u do evil missions. its very funny to me bc like. shalvas DOES have an established character. 10000% bu#if vol/foss was popular i knowwww people would give him the giorno treatment of no personality and he sucks to a majority of people.#but anyways it IS silly to me that mistos has to give his 2 cents on every mission you go on. even if its not an evil one. i think he prob#is mad at shalvas for taking this evil mission but shalvas is also on mad at me island due to me making him do this one so. really its only#fair. or something. its silly to me i like the little touches that they add. bc idk like normally ur protag in a game is pretty moldable to#ur choices. ie like. tw2s you have to pick the guys that suck so bad or the elves we are insanely racist to for a lot of the game#and like. when u look canonically. peepaw does notttt like to pick sides w the war. and esp since he doesnt have his memory back fully by#the time he makes that choice theres no way that he can use his prev knowledge from the LAST war to inform his choice. and that game treate#it as like yeah siding w the govt who are notoriously rly bad or the elves who are well. they sure fit them into the trope of i wrote a bad#guy and he has valid points but to make sure ppl hate him i have to have him do extreme evil. so u dont WANT to choose the elves side.#unless u suffered thru the really fucking bad racism in the books irt that. which i did. so for me its very funny to like. see vol/foss#handle the thing of ok u have choices and one of them is something it doesnt seem like the protag would do. in a more natural way ig.
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mental health just straight up plummeting
#toy txt post#everyday the smallest things have me spiralling into such stupid despair#constantly fighting myself cos every single thing has me wanting to throw up my hands and walk the fuck off bc theres bo point#whats the fucking point!! just despair and exhaustion and burned the fuck out and gnashing at the fucking walls and then spiralling into#a stupid little self pity self hate spiral cos im just a weak stupid little baby who cant handle the real world. plenty of ppl have it so#much worse and havent given up yet so whats my fucking problem? which is so stupid. but i cant logic my way out of this one#so i am simply sitting here feeling so god damn bad#and i dont even really have. a good reason for it. idk. like i dont have a lot of concrete quantifiable reasons i can present about why#i am so goddamn miserable at my job. im just. going insane i need out im performing badly its not worth it theres no fucking point#every day im fighting the urge to just fucking walk off over the stupidest tiniest things that are definitely not worth that kind of#reaction. like yea maybe i do need like mental health meds or smth but i also know. i need out of this fucking. job. but i dont know#like. idk its like my options are just kore of this same stupid bullshit or retail/food service. and like. shout out to retail and food#service. i fucking could not i fucking cannot. but like im reaching that point here too. everything hurts all the time with no reprieve and#all my options just feel like its gonna be ! even more stupid repetitive motions that wont help! like idk! idk what to do. i just#wanna read about stupid little fucking worms and fish but doing that professionally im not sure im up to it and#between me and that career path is thousands of dollars and homework. so#now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead now im the rat instead#trying so hard not to display idk red flag behavior but im Going Insane. i should just start crying at work. why bother hiding it. whats the#point#vent#ig#i should go eat. and waste the rest of my stupid fucking night playing zelda trying to soothe my brain enough to function except im not#functjoning cos then itll be 5am again and ill have done nothing but play zelda and be up too late and go to bed and not get enough sleep#and be a little to a lot late and be miserable and the cycle just fucking never ends#not enough fucking podcasts about worms out there for this#i opened several academic papers on tongue eating isopods to cope and barely read them bc i cant do that at work it takes too long and i get#lost and my productivity is already in the shit and i need to stop being on my phone and i know that but like also if i dont fucking#distract my stupid fucking brain right fucking now im gonna start throwing things and crying#anyway. thats how im doing. bye
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heart rate just 📈📉📈📉📈📈
#personal#lol ok so ig im going back even tho its dangerous as fuck. 16k+ confirmed now. being executed. i need so much#more money than i currently have just for survival and i always make ends meet but i hate having to worry abt it. i hate that theres a#chance i wont. ig im dating smn now ?? idk. but either way i want to kiss then and im excited but i am also discovering new things#abt how much approach to relationships has changed...like they called me beloved darling angel etc and i just couldnt#say any names like that back ? i no longer know how to respond to sincere declarations of romance. idk why i dont understand#why im suddenly so...this way . anyway i will find out why and i will move on. i have a meeting w a company soon and i have to read a bunch#of papers and do a bunch of research and hh AAAAAA. anyway x#tomorrow i have to teach 2 students for 3 hrs which is fine but the issue is it goes on top of lectures which means ill be#very tired.#the person im dating has a lip chain its rly pretty....they know a lot abt art and fashion etc etc its very cool#anyway yeah#its ok were ok im ok. cool. okay.
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i feel like the stuff with lloyd and garmadon is really complicated and i looked in the tags for a couple minutes and i keep seeing people being like. making it like one extreme end of a situation or the other and tbh i dont like or get it-
#like. idk how to make this make sense but like... i feel like given how the show has gone there isnt a way to make this either 'garmadon is#terrible and stuff' or 'lloyd is terrible and stuff'?? like theres just so much to like everything that happens#and i keep seeing people trying to go Entirely one way or the other and i just dont think it works well here??#like garmadon fucked up with being not there a lot in lloyds life and then. whatever the fuck s8-10 was. but at the same time theres stuff#like the snake (forgot the name) venom and harumi bringing back Just the evil parts to take into account for too? which like it doesnt make#it less Bad but also i think when we have stuff like how he was in s3-4 and like how much he was trying to keep lloyd out of harms way in#like s1-2 i cant agree with the idea that hes like Entirely bad or a terrible parent?? like theres a lot going on here#and then with lloyd hes like. a traumatized kid with abandonment issues. i dont blame him At All for how he reacted in crystalized and#stuff. like again traumatized kid with abandonment issues and also tbh it really feels in this show like every damn time he starts to work#through an issue or something bad that happened the show throws a New thing at him or just brings up the Old stuff again so hes like#constantly never getting a break. and so OF COURSE he reacts negatively to garmadon showing up when last several interactions were well....#yknow. s8-10. and then plus theres stuff like 'his dad literally died and then got revived and that whole situation was upsetting in#general for lloyd' (which like. it was like 2ish seasons between 5&8 im not sure if he even would've fully dealt with what happened in#that time frame? could be wrong but still) and just tldr hes not react well to this#(also i have a lot of thoughts on lloyd i could go on about him forever)#but also like i dont think he like.... doesnt care about garmadon?? like i dont think he like Hates Him or anything?? like he clearly doesn#feel as positively as he did Before but like i dont think he Hates him?? if any of that made sense#and then theres shit like the green ninja prophecy and the way its like destiny itself wants lloyd and his family members to just#Fucking Suffer all the time and just- idk i just think its really complicated and trying to simplify it down to like. 'garmadon is terrible#or 'lloyd hates him' or 'garmadon didnt do anything wrong here' or 'lloyd is being too mean' just. doesnt work well here??#though also i do like to think that after the show they're able to work on things and maybe be on good terms again?? idk the show ended on#a positive note and i just want them to be okay again - im very invested in these two if you cant tell - and i just feel like theres#potential for that there yknow?? but like it'd take work and i cant say that there isnt Issues Going On that HAVE to be worked through#because there ARE#.....ok i went on much longer of a tag rant than i expected i need to shut up now#ninjago spoilers
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i do not understand the posts from ppl who complain abt how ‘cis ppl always headcanon gender conforming characters as trans’ bcuz first thats just literally not true like at all and second please help me understand how in this fantasy reality where cis ppl if they ever think anyone or any fictional character is trans at all anyway, if they ever think anyone but characters who fit their transphobic stereotypes r trans, u think they should stereotype.. more? like yes absolutely irl gnc trans ppl exist and need and deserve characters that r like them that are not like, transphobic and r actually respected and represented well, but i just want u to name 1 time a cis person said a masculine male character was a trans man. just once
#honestly name a time anyone but a trans guy goes for a masculine guy to be trans. like what the fuck are you talking about#even other trans/nonbinary ppl can b transphobic abt what trans ppl 'can' look like.#like i understand if u dont feel particularly represented bcuz theres not a lot of gnc trans characters#but good god there r not a lot of 'gender conforming' trans characters either and anyway cis ppl r not the ones who r going 2 give u#any of that. like i cannot stress enough how fucking stupid of an idea it is to tell a cis person who for ONCE said a masc guy could#b a trans man that theyrehcing 'guys who look cis' as trans too much like. i hate to tell u this#but there is no way u can make 'u can spot trans ppl in a crowd' progressive its just always going ot be transphobic#i just dont understabd. can we make 'u should have diversity w ur trans chars bcuz as ppl all look different that is also true for ppl'#*trans ppl. instead of like. this
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I guess Im glad ultimately Ive gotten over using this site well before I ever really put any of my shit here.
#and honestly knowing cohost is pretty bad and willingly caters to immediately provably harmful communities and people doesnt help either.#discord is also pretty fucking bad in ways. feeling like theres nowhere to show off my anything without it being used to make money for som#fucking scumbag somewhere. much to think about#like ive had this reserved stance for years and only really posted my poetry here. and its never felt good to use ultimately.#not to mention when this blog was being actively stalked by one of my online harrasers. thankfully that never went any further than it did.#its not like this hasnt been a shit site to use since ive gotten here but. i dont know. its certainly a whole fucking lot and even more so#in light of recent events on top of everything else ive been feeling and going through lately its just. cemented in me another kind of hate
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well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place
#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises#i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it#i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death''#so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn#they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after#but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here#like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me''#was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do#with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory''#and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap?#i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me#tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes#but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world#and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore''#and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors#ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off#like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias#it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled)#like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny.#she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much#like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax#idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department#for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol
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Nails vc yeah the director burned some of my work to my face she must be so stressed out and sad :(
#rat rambles#oni posting#out of the shower and still thinking abt their log theyre so silly I love them#also thinking abt how much of a piece of shit nikola is (affectionate)#I need to put him and ellie in the same room so they can take jabs at eachother with increasing agression until they get physically violent#bonus points if they come out of it almost friends in a fucked up way#think 'I hate your guts and would gladly punch you but we're both going through the same fucked up shit so guess Id die for you' vibes#bonus bonus points if joshua is also in on the oh fuck were doomed arent we fun#like he probably doesnt know and would be horrified upon finding out and thats generally what I go for in my head#but. itd be so incredibly fun if he was just as deep in the muck as the other two.#or even better. deeper. but thatd likely just put him in a middle point between ellie and nikola#ellie is in the know enough that even if she doesnt Know she probably figured it out at some point#nikola is like the most knowing motherfucker in the world#and we don't see shit of joshua's actual work so god knows how much he knows#we know he and ellie work in the same department and handle a lot of important data#but we only ever see ellie be talked to about said data#so while she and joshua do the same type of work we dont know what joshua specifically worked on#which basically means he could know any amount of information about the shit going down at gravitas theres literally no way of knowing#I cant even make a personal character judge because nice doesnt necessarily mean strong morals#like for all we know he could have been actively involved with the dna stealing he most likely wasn't but we dont know#maybe hes a nails situation where he was blinded by optimism or blinded by his friendship with ellie#or maybe ellie goes out of her way to keep him not involved in an attempt to protect him#but ellie herself doesn't Seem to have realized how fucked shit was during what we see of her so idk#maybe jackie just has favorites and likes making ellie her lil grunt#and makes ellie stay quiet which ellie likely wouldnt find too out of place given her job#basically Im saying that while we do see a lot of these two we still know basically nothing abt them#which is a part of the appeal I think#anyways its almost 4 am rip#bed time here we go
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