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#but also its incredible when you start too
shares-a-vest · 1 day
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Just a Shirt (Read on ao3)
wc: 1.9k | Rated: T | cw: Mild descriptions of Steve's s4 injuries (mostly the scar on his neck), Hospital mention, Brief mention of nightmares
Tags: Eddie Munson Loves Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Post s4 Fix-it (Everyone Lives), Hellfire, Fluff and Angst (Happy Ending), Love Confessions, Injury, Cuddling
Eddie makes Steve a customised Hellfire shirt, just for him. Based off this ficlet/headcanon. But the BIGGEST thank you goes to @tangerinesteve (formally babydollbaron) for their incredible tags below. They gave me the biggest and softest brainworms. I hope I did your wonderful ideas justice!
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“Here-p,” Eddie mumbles, pushing a too-neatly folded shirt into Steve’s hands.
“Uh, thanks,” his boyfriend hums, quirking a brow in confusion.
Eddie shrugs the whole thing off for good measure because it’s just a shirt – that’s all it is.
... But not really.
Like, at all.
He looks away, avoiding Steve’s gaze. While their relationship isn’t too new for gifts, it might be too fresh for a t-shirt that screams, ‘You are part of me and I can see that you are in pain and I think I can fix it. Nay, I need to make you comfortable’.
Yeah… it’s perhaps a little too premature for something that says all that.
So Eddie looks at the floor, his beige sock blending into the similarly-coloured carpet that lines Steve’s bedroom. His foot really only looks like an actual foot and not a patch of carpet thanks to the hole in his sock that is currently exposing his pinky toe.
It’s just a shirt, he desperately reminds himself as he catches Steve unfurling it out of the corner of his eye.
It’s just a shirt.
A customised Hellfire shirt he made especially for Steve.
One that is two sizes too big, made of the softest cotton and led to an emptying of his wallet to obtain. A Hellfire shirt that has short sleeves and a loose, scooped neck Eddie fashioned himself after borrowing a sewing book from the library. A neckline he sewed on Mrs Pemberton’s machine after crossing the trailer park and answering a slew of questions from an all too inquisitive Max Mayfield.
It’s a Hellfire shirt in its logo only – despite what his friends might think. Or the fuss all his pea-brained lost little sheepie buddies kicked up along the way.
They have been a total nightmare these past few weeks, scheming and plotting and sabotaging like a little hoard of gremlins. But Eddie supposes he can really only blame himself.
He should have never said anything, never asked Gareth for the original master copy of the Hellfire logo he knows his best friend keeps filed away in secret on the rare occasions they let in new members. Or to get new t-shirts printed in instances of spilled beverage-based stain emergencies. But then Gareth of course squealed to Jeff, who teased Eddie mercilessly before blabbing to Freak, who, well… Freaked about the possibility of a jock joining Hellfire.
The shock. The horror! Oh, the humanity!
And then came what was nothing short of a campaign via Dustin, Mike and Will, all collectively working to not only prevent Eddie from something he wasn’t even going to do in the first place but to also create a drama so seismic that rumours got around the whole of Hawkins that one Eddie Munson would no longer be running his little ‘demonic’ social club.
Or at least that’s what Wayne said Ernie at the plant had told him that his son had said.
The only thing is, Eddie feels more than a little sorry for Lucas Sinclair, a kid now sulking around, utterly crestfallen that his favourite Laundry Basket Friend isn’t also secretly a full-blown nerd.
It’s just that Eddie wanted to give Steve a nice, soft, comfy shirt he had hoped he would look at just like he is right now.
Besides, Steve had admitted that he liked the Hellfire logo months back when they first started dating. Told Eddie it was, “So creative, man”, after expressing some mild disappointment that he hadn’t shown up for their first date wearing it.
He smiles at the memory, Steve’s eyes lighting up as soon as he hopped into the Beemer, far too eager to head off to Benny’s Diner that he hadn’t even bothered to let Steve chivalrously walk up to the front stoop of the new and improved Casa de Munson.
“Eddie…” Steve says, his voice just above a whisper and sounding just as soft as the too-important shirt in his grip.
“Don’t worry,” he snorts, “I’m not making you join or anything it’s just… You said you haven’t been sleeping well…”
He gestures with his hand, searching for the right words. Better words that won’t sound so monumental and weighted as Steve’s eyes trail right along the shirt’s scooped neckline.
The hem is probably a little flimsy, but hopefully, Steve won’t fucking claw at it like the old Tigers gym shirt he almost tore in two a few weeks back after bolting upright in a sweat after a nightmare. That is what did it – really set Eddie on his mission. Seeing Steve’s sniffles turn to tears and how he tried to hide them away, shrugging Eddie off before rushing to the ensuite bathroom.
He had come back a few minutes later, eyes red as he hugged his arms across himself, appearing small and frightened but acting cold as ice.
“Yeah…” Steve nods before mouthing what appears to be the word, “soft”, as he balls the fabric between his fingers.
“Hell, I know you haven’t been sleeping,” Eddie continues to ramble, “Just… tossing and turning. Also your… Y’know…”
He gestures to his own neck, referring to the still-reddened scar around Steve’s. One that Eddie knows leaves his throat scratchy and hoarse at the slightest provocation. A mark that nosey townspeople gawk at when Steve is at work, leaving him all embarrassed and well, not like Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington at all.
And Steve hadn’t even told Eddie about that part. Nope. He found out from Robin, who swung by the mechanic one afternoon, inconsolable about her best friend spending their shift at Family Video hidden away in Keith Anderson’s stinky loser palace of an office.
“Mhmm,” Steve nods, pursing his lips.
Eddie knows he isn’t mad – it’s just something his boyfriend doesn’t talk about. That he doesn’t like talking about.
He needn’t ramble anymore, really – fill the silence between them or attempt to explain himself because, in a flash, Steve slips off his tight-fitting navy polo and replaces it with his new Hellfire shirt.
And Eddie can’t help but beam at a job well done.
It hangs nicely. Loose enough to sleep in, but not billowing so much to swallow that physique entirely. The neckline sits just where he had hoped too, much lower than the regular Hellfire shirts, scooped below Steve’s collar bones so that even if it stretches in his sleep, it couldn’t possibly pull and tug at his scar.
It’s perfect.
Exactly what he wanted to give Steve, who looks down at the devilish, very metal logo – a sight that is sure to scare off his snooty parents for good if they ever see it.
Before he knows it, Steve lunges for him and Eddie feels his cheeks squish against his boyfriend’s hands as he is kissed.
And kissed.
And kissed some more.
Kisses that last for long enough and grow softer with every peck that Eddie soon feels his legs buckling and he forgets altogether what they are even doing up here, in Steve’s bedroom, in the middle of the day on a warm summer afternoon.
It’s just the he –
“ – I love you,” Steve smiles when he comes up for air and – 
His eyes blow wide in an instant.
And Eddie is sure his own do too – maybe even pop right out of his goddamn skull with an audible gasp in there somewhere as well as they both fully realise what has just been said.
Steve loves him?
Just the same as he loves Steve. So much that he is blurting it out now, in the middle of his bedroom on a warm, mid-summer afternoon – perhaps months too early when they are probably, most likely still in the honeymoon phase.
All because of one perfect t-shirt.
Steve’s brow pinches together and his jaw goes slack as he looks away.
“I…” he trails off, drumming his fingers on Eddie’s shoulders.
“Stevie...” he tuts, smiling back at him.
He steps closer still, closing any remaining space between them as he loops his arms around his partner’s middle and squeezes him tight.
Eddie backs them a step back, then another. Then another until he is at a safe enough distance to rock Steve back and collapse onto the bed.
They fall with a conjoined, “Hmphf” – one that knocks the wind out of Eddie’s already breathless lungs and has Steve momentarily distracted away from whatever inner turmoil he had going on a moment ago. As he lands on top of his boyfriend, Eddie gets a feel of the shirt, now warmed by Steve’s permanently hot body temperature. A feeling that makes it seem even softer.
Like it is already worn in and loved.
He wants to ball a handful of it up in his fist and never let go.
But Eddie forces himself to sit upright, settling down in a straddled position to hover over Steve’s clothed form. He smiles down at the sight beneath him, his giddiness short-lived and quickly fading as a big, brown and now glistening set of panicked eyes return.
“Stevie,” he whispers, running his hand up Steve’s torso.
He ghosts his fingers with a featherlight touch over the printed logo, an illustration he had first scribbled on the back of his math book in his junior year.
Eddie leans forward and takes Steve’s hands, clasping them tight and one by one, he brings them to rest above his head where his super-soft signature swoop is sticking every which way, mussed by the bedspread.
He can’t help but chuckle a little at the sight – momentarily giving into the greedy feeling he gets when he thinks about how this Steve is the one he gets all to himself.
But Steve frowns, those expressive brows looking positively pained now as if only one thing could possibly soften them.
“I love you too,” Eddie says, freeing a hand to delicately pluck at Steve’s loosened neckline, “Obviously.”
“You do?” Steve asks.
Eddie nods as a visible relief washes through Steve’s eyes, leaving his brows to soften up so much he wonders if his boyfriend might now cry.
And before he can say or do anything more, Steve bolts upright, once again leaving Eddie feeling winded and more than a lot flushed this time as he wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his neck, snuffling close like the world’s cuddliest puppy.
They stay like this for a long while, simply breathing in sync as they hold each other. And soon Steve begins to sink, his body going lax as his head slips down onto Eddie’s shoulder.
“I really wanna sleep,” he hums as tears seep through Eddie’s own plain black t-shirt.
“You wanna try now?” Eddie offers, pulling back enough to give an encouraging little smile.
Steve nods, refusing to let him go as they lower down together as one, his eyes fluttering shut when his head meets the bedspread.
“Wanna get all cozy under the covers?” Eddie continues, nudging at the bedding.
He really doesn’t want to move too much more – not when Steve looks like this.
Relaxed.
Loved.
Comfortable and wrapped up in a softness Eddie would like to keep him cocooned in forever.
But as he always does, Steve moves for them and rolls to the side. He snuggles in close, burrowing his head between the crook of Eddie’s neck and the mattress all protected and safe. Eddie palms around for the blanket and haphazardly wraps what sliver of it is free around them, shielding his partner a little more for good measure.
It’s good like this.
Calm. Warm.
Soft.
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I have an alternate pale theory…
Consider this like a ‘Pale-AU’ (i.e. I know it is probably not supported by canon, and certainly not supported by some other works like Joshua Jenkins designs, for example… also I haven’t finished reading PJÕL, so maybe my ideas will change after that) but I started thinking about it as a “what-if” situation: If there were to be a direct sequel to Disco Elysium :insert prayer hands:, how could we reconcile the multitude of different Harrys the player could create? What about the fates of other characters? Some change due to our influence, some die. How could a sequel storyline somehow accept all those possible variances? Introducing my almost-certainly not-correct pale theory!TM using a little bit of in-game info, some real-life stuff, and a sprinkle of imagination!
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Caution: Many spoilers ahead.
So what is Pale -- just the past?
After you talk to the Phasmid you’re given the impression that humans/people created the pale accidentally (with thinking and memory and ideas and invention?); and after talking to Joyce you learn that some think the pale is “rarified past.” It’s all pretty nebulous, but I think that the pale being a product (or a by-product) of the human mind/memory is close to what could be accepted as the canon origin of the pale:
INSULINDIAN PHASMID - The pale, too, came with you. No one remembers it before you. The cnidarians do not, the radially symmetricals do not. There is an almost unanimous agreement between the birds and the plants that you are going to destroy us all. YOU - Wait, the pale is human made? INSULINDIAN PHASMID - It is a nervous shadow cast into the world by you, eating away at reality. A great, unnatural territory. Its advent coincides with the arrival of the human mind. YOU - I don't have that kind of power. INSULINDIAN PHASMID - You are a violent and irrepressible miracle. The vacuum of cosmos and the stars burning in it are afraid of you. Given enough time you would wipe us all out and replace us with nothing -- just by accident. YOU - ...how? INSULINDIAN PHASMID - We suspect it will be something like the oxygen holocaust that wiped out anaerobic life 2.6 billion years ago -- when organisms first started breathing. Only much worse. CONCEPTUALIZATION - Instead of air, you exhale thoughts. There are no trees that eat thoughts.
JOYCE MESSIER – "Some say the damage stems from extreme sensory deprivation. Others argue that pale somehow *consists* of past information, that's degrading. That it's rarefied past, not rarefied matter." JOYCE MESSIER – "They call it *the blend-over of the self*. The pale does not only suspend the laws of physics, but also the laws of psychology, maybe History, even... The human mind becomes over-radiated by past." YOU – "Who says and who argues?" JOYCE MESSIER – "The logical positivists say -- the dialectical materialists argue."
An effect of the Pale is “entroponetical crosstalk" which you can experience when you use the doorbell intercom outside the whirling and hear the woman speaking from Tricentennial Electrics a long time ago, and additionally the old pale driver also talks to you about how she’s experienced the past in the pale, like the assassination of Dolores Dei. Both are snippets of human past:
KIM KITSURAGI - "It was a recording trapped in the circuitry. From some ancient tenant. This sometimes happens. Shall we conclude here? We have other mysteries to solve." YOU - "I do have one mystery that still needs solving... the radio ghost in the Doomed Commercial Area's electronic doorbell." SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "The creepy woman!" She slaps her forehead. "We were wondering about that when we worked there... but I had completely forgotten about it ever since!" SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "It must be entroponetic crosstalk. The one you get in radios and long-distance calls... Now it makes sense, with the pale right on the doorstep." KIM KITSURAGI - "Incredible..." the lieutenant murmurs. "This would also explain why we get it on the police radio all the time." YOU - "Entroponetic crosstalk?" SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "It's quite common actually. When the signal gets routed through pale, all kinds of irregularities take place. You may hear snippets of someone else's conversation, or the voice of your former lover, or an echo of an event that took place 100 years ago." SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "Pale is a shroud of memories and it doesn't really distinguish to whom those memories belong to. You could hear anything."
PALEDRIVER - "You don't need to turn back time. The pale is already churning with it. As the tide of pale rises, so does the past. Someday both will cover the whole world. That's it. That's the story." PALEDRIVER - "They say there is a point -- one that *I* have not crossed -- in the pale superdeep. If you stray too far off course on the U41-A, or in Lomonossov's Land... where every step you take is one step further from home, no matter the direction." PALEDRIVER - "It's a point you cannot come back from. Your mind becomes so radiant with the past -- there is a flip." She flicks the ash from her cigarette. "Instead of writing, it erases memory. Nearing some kind of..." She shakes her head. "Indescribable *finale*." PALEDRIVER - "Like Gabriel Buenguerro in 'Segure-me, Paraíso'..." She nods and smiles, unkindly. "You're the opposite of me then. I remember everything -- even the things I never knew." YOU - "Things you never knew?" PALEDRIVER - "The smell of liquor on Gabriel's lips after the shoot. In the motor park. The roses on the day of Franconegro's coronation. On the grand stairs of Raehl. The smoke from the fowling piece, when Dolores Dei was shot..." PALEDRIVER - "The look on her face -- like an orgasm. The wound in her chest. My hand in my father's hand..." She closes her eyes, her eyelids trembling. "Except I never had a father. And I never shot Her Innocence Dolores Dei." .. PALEDRIVER - "Thought insertion? *Dithering*? The Graad-Katla Magistral?" She savours the lungful. "It's more than dangerous -- it's *sad*. But... at first I had to make a living. Now..."
So you’d think Joyce’s theory checks out, it’s all history/memory---BUT! I did the moralist political quest my first play thru, and when you are trying to contact the airship you also get radio crosstalk from the pale.
KIM KITSURAGI - "It's cold now..." SHIVERS - A slight frisson at the point where your neck meets your spine. Something about the lieutenant's words, directed at you, but not *you*... YOU - "It's really coming down, now that you mention it." KIM KITSURAGI - "Mention what?" YOU - "It's cold, like you just said." KIM KITSURAGI - "I didn't say anything, detective." KIM KITSURAGI - "...someone has been maintaining it. The wiring has been repaired..." HORSEBACK ANTENNA - An uncomfortable silence falls over the connection. KIM KITSURAGI - "... It's been a long winter... Long and cold..." YOU - "Are you going to tell me you didn't say *that*, either?" KIM KITSURAGI - "I promise you, I didn't, even though it certainly *sounds* like me..." The lieutenant seems to wince at the sound of his own voice. YOU - "It must be entroponetic crosstalk. It's the only explanation." NOID - "So your partner's haunting himself. Trying to warn him off his current path, most like." KIM KITSURAGI - "It's eerie, for certain, but also harmless. I just wish I could remember what I was talking about..." ESPRIT DE CORPS - Something here is eating at the lieutenant, as much as he would like to move past it.
You can even hear it if Kim is not with you:
KIM KITSURAGI - "It's cold now..." SHIVERS - A slight frisson at the point where your neck meets your spine. You can *feel* the lieutenant's presence, even though he's nowhere to be found... YOU - "Kim? How did you get on my connection?" NOID - "Whoa, the cop's *own partner* is a radio-spooker. That's some *other core* business right there..." HORSEBACK ANTENNA - ... KIM KITSURAGI - "...someone has been maintaining it. The wiring has been repaired..." YOU - "Kim! Answer me." NOID - "No use, man. Don't think he can hear you." YOU - "I've encountered this before. It's entroponetic crosstalk. This is a piece of the past mixing in with our signal." NOID - "What..." KIM KITSURAGI - "It's been a long winter... Long and cold." NOID - "What have you gotten us into, lawman?" HALF LIGHT - Just *run*. Unplug that headset and get as far away as you can.
YOU - "Kim? How did you get on my connection?" … YOU - "What is he talking about?"’ SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I believe you mean, what *was* he talking about." YOU - "Wait, what are *you* talking about?" KIM KITSURAGI - "It's been a long winter... Long and cold." SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "It sounds very much like entroponetic crosstalk. It happens sometimes when sending transmissions across long stretches of pale..."
Except IT'S NOT FROM THE PAST. It is Kim talking from the future, from the fort on the island. Which hasn’t happened yet.
And it can possibly NOT HAPPEN.
You hear Kim say this stuff even if he gets shot and doesn’t come with you to the island.
During gameplay they kind of just go “huh, how strange and spooky...” and don’t really delve into it.
But that completely changes the pale right? It’s not just past, it’s also future, and not just the ONLY future, POSSIBLE future.
So, my theory is that the pale is multiverse colliding: the near pale is the places where these universes begin to overlap, and deep pale is where universes overlap to such a degree they are cancelling themselves out into nothing.
Fungal communication – mycorrhizal network
When Joyce talks to you, she talks about a fungus growing at the edge of the porch collapse. I think this fungus could be acting like a mycorrhizal network, which in our world are an underground networks connecting fungi and plants allowing them to communicate or share information. I think the fungi/spores in Elysium pop up at origin points and thrive along the porch collapse and are allowing the universes to “talk” to each other.
SOONA, THE PROGRAMMER - "I understand..." She closes her eyes. "A theory of the pale where instead of an *outer ocean* it metastasises -- like a cancer or a mould -- erupting in points *inside* the world."
JOYCE MESSIER - "An uproar of matter, darling, *rising* into the pale. Rolling. Evaporating even, a great vision. The area of transition between the world and the pale is called *porch collapse*." JOYCE MESSIER - "Imagine a grey coronal mist, cold vapour, marked by spores of an opportunistic microorganism -- a mould that's adapted to grow at the edge of the unrest. It's..." JOYCE MESSIER - She closes her eyes and breathes out heavily: "... the most *disco* thing you will ever see.
INLAND EMPIRE - The white noise turns into a wall of mist and grey mould, bubbling, sweeping over the city... it tears up buildings and raises sidewalks into the sky. It's Revachol -- at the end of the world. INLAND EMPIRE - ...and it hasn't even really started yet.
Destructive interference – “le gris”
When Lena tells you about the cryptid the Col Do Ma Ma Da Qua, you learn that they are nearly extinct because the scientists played back their own calls and since they are creatures made of sound, the recordings cancelled out the birds. They died because the signals matched and cancelled each other out.
LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "It's the *Col Do Ma Ma Daqua*," the woman corrects her glasses. "Its name means 'thin whisper of sound'. And that's *precisely* what it is -- self-replicating sound waves, invisible and intangible! The Col Do Ma Ma is very afraid of us, which makes it incredibly difficult to track..." YOU - "Why is the Ma Ma Daqua so afraid of us?" LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "That is a sad story." She frowns. "A group of university students assisting with the field work, in their enthusiasm for the project and, no doubt, because they were preoccupied with impressing their professors, nearly drove it to *extinction*." YOU - "Extinction?" LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - She nods gravely. "They tried to communicate with it, and had no other means but sound. So they started sending out sound waves at frequencies they thought might match the Ma Ma Daqua's. And what happens when a sound wave meets another sound wave of the same frequency, dear?" YOU - "They cancel each other out."
So... admittedly this doesn’t directly connect to the pale, but it’s illustrating the concept of signals cancelling each other out and, I'm going to say, indicates that this concept is possible in Elysium. The pale is destruction, the overlap between universes causes matter, physics, and even numbers to dissolve. The more complete the overlap, the more complete the destruction.
In conclusion...
According to my theory, the pale is the areas of the world that are affected by these fungal organisms that allow very similar, but different universes to communicate with each other, and since their 'signals' are so alike, they are being cancelled out.
So why did I force myself to jump thru these mental hoops? I think having a multiverse like this would make a sequel more possible since there are so many ways the game can be played. Any possible playthrough would be its own universe. Having a multiverse like this acknowledges and validates any play thru as 'canon,' no player will feel that they somehow played the game “wrong.”  Whatever Harry appearing in the sequel is one of the possible Harrys even if he wasn’t “your” Harry. If a character died, they died only in some of the universes, not all. Whatever world the sequel would take place in is just one of the many possibilities.
Anyway, I thought WAYYYY too much about this and now you can too. Sorry!
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mrs-snape5984 · 16 hours
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“Oh, breathe, just breathe…”
“'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. And life's like an hourglass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe…” (“Breathe (2AM)” by Anna Nalick)
Sometimes, you just have to accept, that there are things, that can’t be changed or fixed anymore…at least not right now. I guess, I’m more and more coming to terms with this insight, considering the fact, that it just doesn’t make sense to wrap my head around the reason for my disease ME/CFS.
I can’t alter my previous decisions. For the past two years, I’ve blamed myself for catching Covid on an Open Air concert of my German favourite punk rock band “Die Ärzte”…especially viewed in the context that I avoided social gatherings since late 2019 because of my medicinal immune suppression. But when I got these tickets as a gift in 2022, my brain must have shut down and I started to belittle the potential risks of catching the virus by telling myself, that I would stand in the back of the crowd, beneath the open sky. This was also the first occasion, when I didn’t wear my mask…after enduring being bullied and mocked for wearing masks everywhere and rejecting every single invitation to parties and simple get-togethers.
Well…only one week later, my life- as I knew it before - came to an abrupt halt. I don’t want to go into detail about my current situation in this post. Whoever knows me and also my prior posts, is probably already fed up with my complaints about ME/CFS and its results for my life.
So, all I can do now, is to breathe. Deliberately slowly…breathing in…and breathing out. Calming my nerves…soothing my troubled mind with my fantasies of Severus and my absolutely self-inserted OC Jules…
I’ve commissioned someone new for this project. Someone different from all those lovely artists of Snapedom, who I regularly contacted for my usual coping mechanism of commissioning artworks of Sevy and Jules.
This time, I reached out to @pinklovecharm, an incredibly kind and understanding artist, who made me speechless with this drawing. I asked her to help my imagination of Severus and Jules, being on a walk in the forest, come to life.
I can’t tell you, how much I’m missing this simple activity of enjoying the autumn sunshine and some fresh air on a walk in the woods. In my fantasy, Severus would apparate us to a secluded path in the middle of the forest, wrapping his arm around my waist to support my steps. We wouldn’t talk much…but Severus would remind me of the importance of breathing…and he would exercise it with me…patiently waiting for me to eventually calm down. He’s my safe haven…my home.
My dear Sadie, you can’t imagine, how much you soothed my soul with your mesmerising art and your kind-heartedness. You really achieved to put me into my OC Jules…with all her emotions and physical attributes….and you even integrated my cane into your drawing! Normally, I don’t show my reference pictures publicly, but I’m too impressed by your dedication to the details of my appearance, that I can’t stop myself from presenting them here. Thank you for everything, you wonderful person! I hope, we’ll stay in touch and that I may commission you again.
🖤Severus & Julia🖤
🖤Sevy and Jules🖤
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feathernotes · 9 months
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I was writing up a post to help encourage folks who’ve always wanted to start a webcomic to dive in- and that they shouldnt have to fear ‘being perfect’ to start one And as I was going along, it made me sad to realise that.. there is an expectation now in the webcomic sphere, as much as I want to deny it (and that it should NOT stop folks from creating!!! please keep creating, no matter your level) I’m bummed out about the changes in the webcomic sphere over the past 5 years, i’m disappointed that there has been changes to this medium that was KNOWN for all of the different skill levels and flavours of so many different creators. I want to combat that. I want to see more beginner art, I want to see that excitment and embracing of growth. I want to see what made webcomics so accessible to so many creators and readers flourish again. Hopefully, if you see this post, and you’ve always wanted to make a webcomic but felt you weren’t ‘good enough’ : Make one anyways. Have fun even if you don’t know all the ‘ins and outs’ of comics. Make one because you’re obsessed with your characters and you wanna share them with the world. Make one just because you can, and not because it has to fit in some impossible standard we’ve forced onto ourselves because of the changing landscape. Start one, and have fun doing it for YOU!
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nellasbookplanet · 3 months
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The funniest kind of critical role "critique" is always going to be the 'they present themselves as if they aren’t rich/a company no I will not give any examples' crowd. Like what does this even mean. They start literally every single episode with informing you they are professional voice actors. They have clearly advertised sponsors. They have an entire line of merch and an animated show. The production value of the set is bonkers. They run a charity foundation. Do you want them to start every episode with a blaring siren and a warning saying 'beware! company run content! we make money!!' Are you just angry that they are friends having fun as they make a living. Do you have any understanding of how money works.
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anotherpapercut · 9 months
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the girlbossification of ruth bader ginsburg has to be one of the most just plain annoying aspects of white liberal feminism. like it's not as actively harmful as a lot of other shit obviously. but it is soooooo annoying. if I never see another notorious rbg tote bag as long as I live it will be too soon
#her opinions and amicus' in many cases were iconic! not denying that certainly. she is absolutely AMONG the better justices in us history#HOWEVER her record on policing/the carceral system is very bad! genuinely bad!#and she just would not hold the conservative justices accountable. her and kagan are way too placating#and then she refused to retire in 2009 when there was a sitting democratic president and a fucking DEMOCRATIC SUPER MAJORITY#saying basically that no one else could do the job as well as her which is insane because sotomayor and KBJ literally are better :/#its also unbelievably conceited and just incredibly fucking selfish to knowingly doom the country because you think youre hot shit#started ranting abt this at work bc literally any talk even adjacent to the supreme court will set me off abt all of us court history#and my coworker was like 'well i dont think its very fair that she had to have that much riding on her decision to retire'#it literally is fair because that is the fucking job that she signed up for. this has literally always been how it fucking works#its a lifetime appointment. you either die unexpectedly or retire strategically#she accepted a position in which the entire country would depend on her but its not fair for the entire country to depend on her???#bullshit#im not fucking buying it. she did this knowing roe would likely be struck down as a result#she should absolutely be held accountable for that lmfao. you can know that she had a hand in a lot of great decisions for this country#while also knowing that she did a fucked up and extremely selfish thing
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stevethehairington · 4 months
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first book of 2024 = finished woooohoooo!!!!
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boxchewr · 3 months
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im not really a homestuck fan anymore nor do i ever have the patience or time to reread it properly but. i will still fight tooth and nail for the fact that there's still a lot of value to that comic
#text#it lands solidly in 'good' category to me it does a lot of things i like but a lot i can't stand#what it does well it does so so well and tho it's very obviously a thing that started in 2009 by someone from newgrounds#and by the end you can tell everyone was tired of it going including the author#and then the fucking. shitty ass followups that seem to actively mock and loathe the fact that theyre homestuck followups#i think the meat and potatoes of the comic itself can be incredibly good more often than it's bad#its Long As Fuck but you know every facet of the significant characters. you grow and bond with them so much#absurdly long stretches of nearly pure dialogue back and forth between characters on a page#and then the next page with even more dialogue back and forth them just talking going on rambles and making jokes#but its so natural and most of the main cast feel super real like these are just some kids having a conversation on skype or smth#also it's still one of the funniest things i've ever read no cap. some of the jokes still stay in my mind forever#its not at all for everyone. not whatsoever. its 85% dependent on you liking these characters enough to see more of them#and just wanting to spend time with these little losers and their dumb overly complicated game#but i did like them! i think abt these characters a lot in my random life still despite not interacting significantly with it in years#and i feel like people are kinda a bit too mean abt it nowadays. acting like it was all a waste of time and there wasn't anything good#when no i still like a good amount of it up until beginning-middle of act 6 onwards when it just gets too confusing to keep up with#i still suggest reading it if you have time. can look past a lot of the early acts saying slurs and such. and have interest in it#at least try to get to act 5 if not beginning of 6 and then go thru 6 until u can't stomach anymore of it or if u reach the end#bc yeah act 6 being a nightmare confusion world is a lot of why i think ppl think it sucks#plus the first acts being a bit. 2009 newgrounds core#but even in those acts there's still some good stuff i wish ppl didn't shrug the whole thing off#Just give it a try see if its for u or not#it was one of the biggest Things on the internet for a while for a good reason#and i think it's a shame that it's mainly just considered. something shameful to like and stupid and has no inherent value to it#when there really is still a lot to like#give it a whirl see how you feel#i'm still never personally touching it again bc of. Generally who i was when i was hyperfixated on it#so. lmao
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Funny you mention that, I'm actually planning to go a step further and have proper relationships sections! So every character relationship in the infobox (and then some) can be covered with the depth they deserve.
Of course, that kind of thing can go off the rails fast and become a breeding ground for speculation, so they'll focus solely on the progression of the relationship from the perspective of the character whose article it is, and require a citation for every claim made. (I'd personally like to move towards citing every claim we make period, but it'd probably be best to start with baby steps.)
So I've had that cooking for a while (Jo is coincidentally the character I decided to start with, since he has very few relationships but they're all complex enough for a stress test). I probably shouldn't approach it with the intent to "correct misunderstandings," but I would like to think fans might have an easier time creating in-character fanworks with all of that information in one place. At the very least, you wouldn't necessarily have to go back through all the RGGO stories as a refresher lol.
I've never wanted to address Mine's orientation per se--not that that's quite what you were talking about I think, this is purely as an aside--because a lot of it's considered semantics and I just can't cite it directly in the way I can cite his feelings for Daigo. But on a personal level, I'm honestly surprised at the number of dudebros I've seen who'd be willing to accept he's bi, but being gay is a bridge too far on account of him dating women.
But the point of what he was talking about in the finale is that those relationships weren't at all fulfilling for him, right? Through a purely speculative lens, Jo claiming to be unable to remember Ikumi's name reminds me of that somehow. Like, if that's actually true, you remember every single minute detail of New Year's down to the locker numbers, where Ikumi gave birth, what Arakawa's face looked like, but you can't remember the name of the mother of your child? Alright, man. That's so normal. There's no trauma and/or comphet-adjacence there.
Speaking of--yeah, Masato's card unfortunately comes with no story, so it's not just bad luck. Character stories were discontinued with Kawara and Bessho, I think over a year ago now. On one hand I'm kind of thankful because they've been making it increasingly difficult to actually pull newly-released cards, but on the other hand, it's a huge part of what made cards worth trying for in the first place.
I do get it in terms of sheer volume though; it's mainly Yokoyama and Takeuchi themselves writing everything, and for scale, if I take solely my own translations of all of Mine's events and stories, it'd equal roughly 27.5k words. I can understand putting out that novella-length volume of content--ridiculously HQ content at that--every month isn't feasible when you're also writing for console entries on top of that.
You definitely shouldn't be putting yourself down in comparison though haha, I adore your work precisely because you've got such an excellent grasp on the characters and I always look forward to anything you put out!
Very, very true about Mine and his dad! I think if I were to summarize my findings from the papers (with regard to Mine specifically), Mine has this line in the finale about his hatred of people like Kiryu who "live solely by the principles of giri-ninjo, moral obligation and human feeling." Obviously not translated that way in-game because it's pretty lofty, but there is significance to it as I see it.
Focusing on the ninjo aspect, the papers define the term as "knowing how to [depend and presume upon another’s benevolence] properly and how to respond to the call [to depend and presume] in others." The "dependency need" component is thought develop as a baby first bonds with its parent.
Although it's commonly associated with child and parent, it applies to many forms of dependence, "such as between lovers, friends, husband and wife, teacher and student, employer and employee." It should also be noted it's not strictly hierarchical--superiors depend on their subordinates just as much.
So ninjo is a concept with a history of being considered "specifically as Japanese" in a way Westerners wouldn't understand. (It isn't actually, of course--everyone experiences this form of dependence--however, if I recall correctly, Japanese people were found to be significantly more likely to recognize and admit to it than Westerners.)
By opposing ninjo, a Japanese ideal of dependence, Mine implicitly aligns himself with "the Western ideal of personal independence," which is described as an ideal in which "one might just as well depend upon oneself or become independent, since there is nobody else to depend upon."
This is absolutely rooted in his being an orphan. His "dependency need" was at one point fulfilled by his dad's presence in his life, and once he lost him, he spent the rest of his life fluctuating between searching for someone else who would fulfill it and trying to be someone who doesn't experience "dependency need."
In contrast to Japanese society, where "parental dependency is fostered and its behavior pattern institutionalized into the social structure," the idealized version of Western society values an individual's success over their background. One example is the American myth of the "self-made man," which Mine describes himself as in the original Y3. As an orphan, his rejection of Japanese society in favor of Western society would make sense in that regard as well.
Growing up with no one to depend on and often facing loss and betrayal when he tried to, Mine avoids relying on or trusting others for most of his life. He is independent not because it comes naturally to him, but because of how dependence has hurt him in the past--i.e., "one might just as well depend upon oneself or become independent, since there is nobody else to depend upon."
However, Mine does accept and directly acknowledge the concept at the heart of ninjo when he admits in the finale, "People yearn to trust others. And to be trusted in return." That also coincides with him choosing to end things according to his code of honor as a yakuza, and literally taking the game's main representative of Western culture down with him. It's so perfect within this framework that I have no idea if Yokoyama even knew what he was doing, but He Sure Did It.
But it absolutely works with what you said, and I think it's fairly self-evident because you were able to pick up on it even if you didn't have the exact terminology in mind; Mine once his dependency need fulfilled where Jo never did, and it's made all the difference. I'm a very, very heavily Westernized South Asian still living in South Asia, and I imagine there's less overlap between SAsian culture and EAsian culture, but I've always thought "family values" such as those discussed are more or less ubiquitous in Asian cultures. For what it's worth, I relate strongly to Mine here.
(Also, in case anyone one day accuses me of copying Mine's future personality section from Tumblr, a fair amount of this is from my draft of that. I'm trying my best to make it sound less insane because it's going on a wiki, but y'know.)
Rewinding a little bit, I wanted to point out that Mine being bullied for being an orphan in that specific scene is more or less an invention of Y3R's localization. Kind of an understandable one, because he certainly did face it and Y3R's script was written without ever consulting a Japanese translation, but an invention nonetheless; in that scene, he was being bullied for being poor, not being an orphan.
But I don't think that affects the validity of your point at all, since--and it might not be totally intentional, since Mine wasn't always supposed to be the main antagonist--all the time you spend working with the Morning Glory kids through their problems effectively shows what he may have gone through. Except that he, also like Jo I suppose, had no adults in his life to help him navigate those same problems.
It's hear-twrenching listening to Masato talk about his disability even as an adult, the role internalized ableism played in creating that rift can't be overstated. Brings to mind the image of Arakawa at a complete loss how to respond when Masato was hitting his legs; perhaps if he'd been better-equipped to get through to him as a parent in the way Ichi was able to at the end, things might have turned out different. I think Arakawa displays a lot more emotional maturity and awareness than most characters, but he's not always able or willing to communicate that.
Once again, I absolutely love how your comparison post turned out! I wouldn't have minded being @'d (not that I mind not being @'d) at all haha, I'm not very active so I love getting notifications. Just a huge fan of your presentation, super clean and easy to follow in my opinion. There are a few points I'd love to discuss further, but I know my asks tend to be way too long for what they are haha, so I'll wait. But yeah, just as the Venn diagram of Mine and Jo overlaps, so does the Venn diagram of Mine and Jo fans. Happy to have you in the middle!
I'm glad you got as much out of the books as I did! That's exactly why I think they works super well for them, and I was hoping you'd catch the added Art Appreciator similarity. Also worth noting the art history books appear to be in Polish? I guess you wouldn't need to understand the language if you were more about admiring the art itself (my own art history books are in English and I ignore the text in every single one), but it's kind of funny to have all these thick Tomes you probably can't read.
Also very true. I feel like Hijikata and DS Ryuji aren't quite even since Saigo does exist haha, though he doesn't have as much screen time as Hijikata. There are a few opportunities Mine seems to lose out to Ryuji or others (Ryuji being chosen over him as an RGGO protagonist when Mine was in the running and frankly fit the criteria better, for example), but it is what it is.
Yokoyama did mention the love for the first three games' rivals makes casting for spinoffs really easy though, so I do have hope for more actual Mine! I'd like to see a Dead Souls 2 (he has a pretty good excuse to be cyborg-ified, given the probable state of his body after the fall lmao), or maybe even an Ishin 2, since the events that led to Hijikata and the others' deaths in real life were avoided in Ishin.
I know Yokoyama's talked about a "Y0.5" with Ryuji and Mine, a French Revolution spinoff (???), a Romance of the Three Kingdoms spinoff, and a Sengoku-era Hattori Hanzo spinoff featuring 8 protagonists and the same "all-star" approach to casting as Ishin. Someone else pitched a spinoff for when the yakuza first came into existence, too. And, at one point, before Ichi existed, they were considering continuing the series with Gaiden-type games featuring various characters (though I think going forward, further Gaidens would depend on the success of Gaiden.) So there are lots of possibilities! I really do hope he gets to be a protagonist or playable character one day, since he fits the mold perfectly IMO.
I'm happy you appreciate my offering haha! I hope you'll let us know what you think of Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP whenever you get to them. That is unfortunately how I found out about Toru :') I adore the leads and their relationship myself, so I never would've thought Pure would go there! But I suppose it does check out for Tsutsumi's career.
Good Morning Show is honestly driving me insane because I'm positive I watched it but can't find it at the same address anymore??? I had to watch it with clearly machine translated subs, but it was as chaotic as it looks. Godspeed!
Oh, I also wanted to weigh in on the "Masato's care" line since that was originally supposed to be part of the response (and since the topic of localization is super interesting to me, as someone who not only translates works but translates RGGS' works and has needed to become intimately familiar with the official localization style).
It's an odd choice, because on top of what Anon said, everything from the context to the grammatical construction of the original Japanese sentence should clearly convey that what he's apologizing for is not taking sole responsibility for Masato's care and having Ichiban attend to him on top of his regular duties. He's not apologizing for Masato's care itself being a burden.
Honestly kind of baffling because not two scenes earlier, they convey the exact same sentiment perfectly--"Sorry to bother you with something so personal." [JP] / "I'm sorry to keep asking you to help me with something so personal." [EN]. It's like, to me, talented localization teams should absolutely be celebrated, but they should also be completely "invisible" in the moment. They're not invisible in that moment because it's their biases coming through rather the character or even the writer's biases.
I don't necessarily mean bias in terms of internalizing ableist ideas (it's hard to say it plays no part, given it's a disabled character being discussed, but what I mean is there's not at all enough to go on to conclude it was a malicious or even a conscious decision). I also mean in the sense of getting "locked into" a certain way of thinking about disabled characters and their care, and multiple different teams (base translation, dub editors, and sub editors) going over that line and not thinking twice.
Because like, it's true that in fiction (and unfortunately real life) you do see parents who feel it's a burden, but that doesn't mean Arakawa has to be that way. It kind of undermines RGG Studio's efforts to employ rigorous sensitivity checks starting this "generation" of games (starring Yagami and Ichiban, I mean) when things slip through the cracks like that.
And it's not the only area it happens; there are a number of places where there's this "tunnel vision" surrounding certain ideas that comes to the forefront. One of the things that leads to is instances of "pigeonholing" characters into pre-existing molds while not giving enough consideration to who the characters actually are in this particular work.
For me Jo actually got the brunt of it (or perhaps I was just most sensitive to it), from marketing to localization. Marketing-wise, the very first time we saw him in English-language trailers, it was literally for one second after either the word "BAD" or a synonym flashed on-screen. A far cry from Tsutsumi's one-on-one interview where he explicitly says Jo is doing everything in service of a deeper motive, his English voice actor was not interviewed at all, while most major characters' English voice actors were.
Localization-wise, there's one thing that perfectly encapsulates (if you'll allow me to be dramatic for a moment) "What Went Wrong." It's what they decided to call Jo's fighting style. The fact it went from Shame Style to something as trite as Vile Blade genuinely haunts me to this day. Just the sheer flanderization in taking a name that lays bare the core of his character and motivations, a name that conveys perfectly how he sees himself as inhuman and irredeemable, and then turning it inside-out to suggest he IS inhuman and irredeemable? That's insane to me.
Of course, I'm not really able to gauge whether/how that kind of thing actually affected the reception or general understanding of him as a character since I haven't participated in the fandom at all for years, but I do wonder if it has.
Having pages dedicated to relationships and including how each character perceives their relationships sounds like a fair idea (I've always been a fan about how on Masato's page, Yumeno is regarded as his 'girlfriend' while on her page he's only her 'customer'. It's a small detail all things considered, but it's a great way to emphasize how much impact one party can have on another and can deepen the significance of relationships and interactions)! And having citations at the ready is always a good idea to help clear up misinformation or just to simply provide tidbits people are curious about, though obviously with a franchise as big as RGG (including RGGO content), it's very easy to understand if it would take significant time to have absolutely everything accounted for. It's what makes the time dedicated to this kind of work all the more respectable, really!
When it comes to Mine- or any character honestly- and their orientation, for the sake of sharing information clearly, I think it'd be better just to focus on what's provided opposed to trying to find a concrete label for it, so I can't say I'm all too upset at the lack of a solid 'confirmation' and I am grateful for the material given that lets us work towards one conclusion and another.
It is surprising to me that people are more open to Mine being bisexual though (I usually see people try to ignore the fact bisexuality is an option. It's a weird win I guess..). But as you've pointed out, I personally believe Mine's case was more about a case of comphet behavior, as the line where he alludes to his past relations with women it's from a segment where he's specifically highlighting how he wasn't happy abiding by what should have made him happy. I still don't know how people observed the full scene but decided to block out the very next line where he says he was unsatisfied and just walked away with 'Mine likes women'. ☠️
Onto Jo though, the state of his memory about Masato's birth really is jarring when you point it out. It's one thing to just chalk it up to a sprinkle of misogyny and not finding Ikumi important (though at least RGG was nice enough to give her files a proper name), but really thinking about it, it's incredibly bizarre he doesn't remember at all. Not considering the actual nine months they had to live together for Ikumi to have Masato, I'd assume they'd have to live together a little longer than that then- and still nothing...? But everything else about that night... Definitely something to raise an eyebrow about lmao
That's unfortunate about the RGGO stories though! But like you said, it's totally understandable as to why they had to discontinue them (but also of course, they were a big attraction to me personally to play the game and card hunt), especially when it's only two people already having to juggle other projects. But thank you for the encouragement with my own personal projects: I try not to be too hard on myself since that certainly won't do anything, and it certainly helps to know that I'm on the right track with what I'm doing! I really do love these characters (and I'm also terribly aware they're a bit unpopular all things considered), so I always want to do what I can to do them justice for myself and other fans!
Highlighting Mine's preference towards the West has really been a great experience- it's something I've only noticed on small scales (i.e. his foreign car and of course his English), but bringing it to light like this has really helped validate and further my understanding of him! That being said, Mine most definitely has adopted the American mentality of stressing independence and not relying on others, and it's undoubtedly come as a result of his upbringing. Ergo, analyzing Mine in relation to his connection not just with American philosophy but also giri-ninjo is definitely worthwhile, and from the sounds of it absolutely significant to understanding his character and his motives (it's certainly something I'm already taking notes on for the future)!
Moreover, I've always been a fan of Mine and his ability to acknowledge the inherit need to have companionship, or at the very least his subconscious need for bonds. In that, it's clear Mine's pursuit of independence was a way to protect himself (I might dare to say he lets down his guard fairly easily all things considered, though I won't ignore his caution towards Daigo and Kanda when initially meeting them. Moreover, it's just clear that when he feels betrayed, despite convincing himself he's a lone wolf, he feels that pain significantly- much greater than someone who sincerely believes themselves to be independent should). Just as you've said, Mine's suicide and taking Richardson with him is really a solid and magnificent way to round off his character through the lens of him putting to rest his solitary philosophy. Going further with gameplay interwoven with story telling, the time-consuming Dad Simulator bits of Y3 really do help highlight how much the kids of Morning Glory- and in that case orphans in general- rely on adults like Kiryu to navigate life. And evidently, that experience ties back into Mine and his frustrations with not just people like Kiryu who help others without expecting a reward, but also how the less fortunate are able to receive that help where as Mine wasn't offered that.
On that note, I feel like I remember learning that the 'orphan' bit was an inclusion, but I guess I forgot that detail along the way. Nevertheless, I'm just about to start eating drywall over the translation differences at this point- even if my point isn't moot, I still can't help but feel an anxiety that I'm going to greatly misinterpret something (and I can certainly get back to this point later when it comes to the likes of Jo's in the west). At the very least, it's a better incentive to brush up on my Japanese. I'll take what I can though: I'm glad that what I've said it still valid in some parts!
The case of Masato's something that's always going to intrigue my mind (I owe myself a chance to properly sit down and analyze him). There's so many aspects at play that could have affected how he turned out as an adult, and family is undoubtedly a major factor contributing to that outcome. To expand on that, it's inarguable that Arakawa was doing the most he could for Masato as not only a young, single father who had a complicated relationship with his own parents, but also having to operate as a ruthless yakuza to the rest of Kamurocho meant not only was he busy, but he needed to uphold an image and make sure his son wasn't too involved with that life. In this, it seems apparent that Arakawa's conditions to be a parent weren't exactly ideal, and as a result it's fair to assume he potentially 'under performed' in some aspects due to these circumstances, so to say (we see he keeps himself active in Masato's life when he's an adult, so it's not as though I'm proposing it's a case of neglect. It's unfortunate we really don't get more of the Arakawa Family's family life to better understand their circumstances).
Thank you for your compliments on my comparison post! I didn't want to come off as bothersome, but I'll make sure to tag you in any future posts I make that are inspired by you ^^ Honestly, I thought my post was a bit messy on some parts, but I'm thrilled to hear it was comprehensive- and of course, I've love to hear your input on any points in the future if you ever feel like sharing them!
The topic of RGG spinoffs has been a topic between a friend and I every now and then (though I never would have expected a French Revolution game????), so it's astounding to hear about the various ideas that have been floating around (I would be excited the most for a game about Hanzo though- I remember obsessing over him while I was in middle school for whatever reason lmao)! In any case, spinoffs would be a great way to utilize one-off characters: it might not be mainline or technically canon, but being able to see the characters again is never something I can complain about so long as the game's fun and the story's engaging!
I'll make sure to keep you posted on how I feel about Princess Toyotomi and Hero SP: I have an insatiable need to share everything on my mind, so I'll undoubtedly talk about them and whatever thoughts I have! Again, I have to apologize about spoiling the end like that- I really didn't expect them to go that way either when I first saw it honestly! But I can't say it was a terrible ending- unfortunate, but I wasn't super mad about it.
Now returning to the state of RGG's translations, that is especially weird in that situation in particular when they have a similar line in the same (or about the same, anyway) scene? As you've said, it might have been an unfortunate case of penning in something based off of independent thought, though it's still unfortunate because it did have the potential to alter not just the scene itself, but Arakawa's character as well (and of course, we would have hoped RGG wold improve when it comes to sensitive topics at this point).
And onto a point I've been weirdly excited to get to, the case of Jo and how the west seemed to handle him. Maybe it's because of America's tendency to make marketing more 'aggressive' (my personal favorite case is making Kirby appear angrier in ads? Because rage and cute-pink-puffball makes sense to me), so opposed to a more grey portrayal they went with something more blunt. Though, it's incredibly strange that Jo seemed to receive such a 'particular' treatment when it came to marketing? My only theory is that they just really wanted Jo's 'reveal' in the Coin Locker Baby chapter to be all the more impactful, but it's just messy honestly.
More importantly, the change of his style's name is also really unfortunate to me. As you've said, it strips interesting aspects of his character away, and a major aspect of his character is evidently guilt. I can't fathom trying to construct his character to be violent without reason, it really undermines what makes him so compelling.
Though, I guess if it's anything, from what I've seen this change in presentation has done little to impact people's perception of him (but maybe that's because I haven't really seen anyone else in the west talk about him...)
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possiblytracker · 1 year
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valentines day became a lot more fun and less agonising to me as an ace-aro person after it finally clicked over the past few years that whatever the fuck happens today is what i make of it, and that can and does include loving and appreciating the shit out of the friends ive decided i'd like to spend my life with in a way that i can define on my own terms not limited to the generic concept of romance. which i absolutely revel in doing, personally
#first and last post im gonna make about it BUT#kinda wild as a kid who got picked on on vday and got Insanely bitter abt the whole holiday for most of my teenage years#and coped by being 'totally fine with' the idea of living and dying alone bc who could Possibly want to get that close on my terms#that im here now and actually vibing with it#and like. if you hate vday personally i am giving you a pat on the back in solidarity. me too still for the most part#i am not going to be annoying about it for your sakes i respect you so much. best of luck avoiding Designated Love Day#but i am personally reclaiming this shit as a semi-recently discovered Bitch Who Yearns.#what a nice day to consider love in all its incredible forms! how great to remember i love and am loved in return#despite the years and years of thinking it just wasnt something that even loosely applied to me#funny how that works out sometimes. that im still learning things about myself#(some of this is slightly exaggerated ofc i have and have had friends who mean a Lot to me throughout! when i say 'alone' i dont mean Alone#(but it is still only recently ive started to unpack the 'i dont Need to bond that closely with people im Fine to live on my own' kinda#shit that i internalised for a stupid long time as a teenager#maybe i Do want to spend my life with other people in my own queerplatonic way and not only are there people who want that with me#but also make me want it with Them. and thats more than i could ever have imagined as a teenager)#ok tags ramble over im done getting sentimental khgCSDJ
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transbee · 7 months
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having did and being online in any capacity is so fucking exhausting because you literally can't go anywhere without seeing the most heinous takes about your existence or validity it's like. can we be normal. can we please be normal and Chill for like two seconds.
#HEADS UP: this accidentally turned into a huge rant/vent feel free to get the hell out el oh el#i try reallly hard not to talk about it too much here because you can. offhandedly mention the mere concept of did or osdd or any#dissociative disorder and its like. people will not shut up about how its not real or how its people being delusional or kids being cringe#like. can we go. two seconds without treating people with mental disorders like a spectacle. please. you dont have to have a ''take'' on it#idk and i also avoid online did communities bc theyre the most exhausting spaces you can ever be in and theres constant fighting about#literally anything and everything. like. maybe i would like to find a space to meet other people with similar experiences to my own.#and we dont get that!! we literally cannot get that. and this goes for a lot of mental health related stuff but like my god#and im very lucky to have other people i know in real life who also have did so i can in some amount have that support system (hah.)#but it is EXHAUSTINGG that people cannot go literally a day without saying something stupid about systems#or i can be following someone for years and unprompted they will saysomething heinous thing about did and hide it behind something like#get a load of how weird and cringey kids are getting online these days.#and CHRISTT thats a whole OTHER issue i REALLY dont wanna talk about because it has its own whole set of nuances but like jeeeesus#is it really so hard for people to grasp that brains when exposed to traumas at a young age will be affected by it in weird ways.#idk man ive been seeing a lot of offhanded disregard for systems recently and it's so normalized and it's starting to get to me i guess#i wish people could just go well this is something i dont understand and dont need to have an opinion on and move on with their lives.#what the hell ever this is all to say having did has impacted my life in a lot of complicated and intricate and hard to explain ways and it#sometimes painful and awful but other times is an incredible experience and ALSO. most IMPORTANTLY !#i should be able to make jokes about BEING FRIENDS with SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG!! in REAL LIFE!!!#and not have to deal with SUICIDE BAIT IN MY INBOXX BECAUSE OF IT!!!#WHATEVERRR !!! RANT OVARRR I HAVE NOODLES TO MAKE AND EAT#.... WITH my friend SHADOW!!!#.txt#and btw this isnt about anyone ik here so dont worry im not upset with any mutuals etc etc and all that.#in fact i love getting the chance to chat about it n it can be fun to teach stuff to people who know how to like...be normal about it LOL#<3
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nomaishuttle · 7 months
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the two rules of sweeney todd cast recordjngs is 1. theyll never be better than 2012 london cast talk to the hand 2. theyll never be worse than 2005 broadway cast talk to the hand
#sry im literlly such a 2005 castrecording hater like im such a huge anti. i hate jt so baddd sounds like ass. they took the entire#orchestra out back and shot them dead leaving one piano player and.told him to judt make it work and then told sweeney that his entire#family died in a horrific fire immediately b4 he started rcording.#like im sorry ik sweeneys like a sad guys obvi i would be too yk sucks sucks Pooor thing better you should think she was dead yes i lied#cuz i looove you id be TWICE the wife she was i LOOOOOVE YOU HOW COULD THAT THING HAVE CARED FOR YOU LIKE ME !!!#anyways. but he just like. ik this sounds mena but his voice Sounds like a voice somebody would do to make fun of sweeney.#like it sounds like somebody mocking a mopey guy. but thats just the voice the guy uses 4 sweeney like..#also sry. im pretty sure the final scene lyrics they use in 2005 r the same as the original script from the 80s however. those lyrics just#dont flow as well ss the slightly edited version for the 2012.. like. hold on let me compare..#so the original Your Lucy!A crazy hag picking bones and rotten spuds out of alley ashcans!#Would you have wanted to know that she ended up like that?#whereas in 2012 its Your Lucy a mad hag. picking bones and rotten spuds out of dustbins#would you have wanted to know thats how she ended up ? and it just FLOWS BETTER SRYY.#ik its also partially bc most sweeney iterations r set. when sweeney is actually set where as 2012 sort of uses the framing devide of#disgruntled workers inn. i wanna say the 1920s? somewhere around there. which btw genius i love that devision.to draw parallels between the#working conditions of both time periods its quite genius babes. loveee to 2012 london cast recording. and it bangs far harder than those#other girls..#but like basically..imelda staunton if i ever get the opportunity i will genuinely give you 5billion dollars i dont think Aybody could ever#top her eprformance as mrs lovett. lifechanging. showstopping incredible#and michael balls sweeney is sooo good as well likee. he does such a good job balancing between like. i understand this guy. like i get him#i know his kotivationa and also This guy is fucking scary as hell#like he plays sweeney as far more like. Enraged than depressed. and i think it works RLY well for his interpretation of the character..#basically 🫰 <- thats for 2012 london cast. I wish that cast recording had all of the songs on its rly rather sickening.NO PIRELLIS MIRACLE#ELIXIR. LIKE IS IT A JOKEEEE DO YOU WANT ME DEAD ON THE STREETS? YOU SIR? ANYBIDY? GENTLEMEN NOW DONT BE SHY?#whatever. the one positive ill say for 2005 sweeney is that his performance. at times..is hysterical#i hate their version of final scene due to 2012 final scene being My favorite sweeney song. however. his like. Oh my god and also the judge#when he kills the judge and he says barker like hes powering up. he goes barkeeEEEEERRRRRR. whys that more acting than he did the entire#rest of the show. like its weird bc he was simultaneously over acting (as was the rest of the cast imo) and underacting ? like they were so#over dramatically sad that it looped back into them being completely flat and emotionless. its tly kind of impressive#but in fjnal scene when he goes OH NO !!!!! oh gOOOod. that was so funny
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electricfied-wolf · 8 months
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it is saturday and I am but a simple highschooler and I am so so tired and it is literally 12:15pm and I want to just sit here and eat my banana pudding
#failing to control those emotions I mentioned earlier I am so angry and sick and frustrated#fuck the world why is fandom so complicated#I keep thinking abt shit I've heard and shit I've somewhat experience and I want to scream into a pillow for four hours#engaging in interests always makes me half regret it bc of all the shit I have to hear abt because of fandom.#I don't regret joining any of the fandoms because of the INCREDIBLE and AWESOME people and friends I get to meet because of it#but stuff also is bad and annoying sometimes#I am starting to understand why most people refuse to engage and interact with other people in fandoms. its because#you slowly learn of all the drama and then you end up feeling like you're being pulled on by either end#it feels like I'm constantly the rope in a game of tug of war when it comes to most fandom spaces. like this experience happens too often#because ohhh you have this one side who believes this and another who believes that#AND SOMETIMES I MAKE STUPID POSTS OR COMMENTS THAT I GET REMINDED OF A BUNCH AND I WANT TO CRY.#I'm literally a fucking kid dammit I am not trying to change the world or anyhthing I just have opinions and I say them and sometimes#I speak before I think and sometimes I'm wrong and that is something that happens. not all of my opionions are solid locked in constantly#and SOMETIMES people who I think are cool turn out to be LESS COOL and SOMETIMES I feel like I say or do things that ruin my friends'-#-fandom experience and I fear they secretly hate me#okay that's it rant's over now
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soft-spooks · 5 months
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i am once again so very tempted to write out the entire outline for the 🔪 canon compliant timeline but i KNOW im gonna get burnt out halfway through and also slap like twelve content warnings in it if i ever even want to THINK about posting it
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healingheartdogs · 2 years
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A surprising amount of self proclaimed dog people when my dog doesn't want to greet them or be touched by them: "Aw, they're a bit shy huh? Are you guys working on that?"
Me, every time, without hesitation: "Nope."
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dangaer · 1 year
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i know a lot of people get mad at it but tbh shin really looks out for the heroine in spade and diamond route.
#❛     𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒    ⧽    —   ooc.#I SAID. WHAT I SAID.#people absolutely despise him in ikk.i's route which is honestly fair if thats how you feel im never gonna be like HOW DARE YOU#but the reality is is that while shins words are very cruel in certain parts ( cannot deny that and he should apologise for them )#at the same time. ik.ki was currently flirting with other women openly and not just “for work” and then he was also lumped in to having an#extra shift because a girl couldnt come into work as she was rejected by him. i would be mad too ...#but also like. at near the end of the route he makes a point to actively help them out which is his way of showing his support for them#like ... as a friend the way he looks out for the heroine is rlly remarkable.#its the same with diamond world bc for context. shin has done A LOT to help the heroine and her love for toma for this route#shins been papparazi#probs had to go round his face and find out random facts#he's always round toma's it just happens#but like. he actively gets involved when he starts to notice things aren't right and tom.a's getting restrictive#like he actively takes that role to help the heroine out. as a friend thats a really incredible thing to do#and SEE HAPPEN#it gives a good message despite the countless bad ones that surround it.#shin ONLY gets concerned when things dont feel right for him. and he backs off when hes proven wrong. hes genuinely got a soft heart ...#I PROMISE.#anyway. ull never guess whos character page ive done today--- FGSGFDGS i got lost in playthrough vids bc i forgot some of the events in#joker world so may have to revise that part#but we will see#i forgot how difficult bios are im ngl people who do them all in like a week are incredible mine are taking me literally 4+ hours and they#dont even look like 4 hours of work. gonna do my pages a lil diff tomorrow to see if that helps and then go from there somehow#TBD.#im emotional its 2:30am and im emotional about shin again 2022 is coming back to me
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