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ivyinne · 10 days

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I feel like I'm in the minority here but I just feel like... I don't like Stuart. And I don't mean I think he's boring or reprehensible or a badly written character, I specifically mean that I don't think his relationship with Neil is as affectionate or parental as people make it out to be.

Fanon Stuart is overwhelmingly portrayed as someone who cares about Neil. Being actively involved in his life, sometimes to an unhealthy extent. Fanfics even go so far as to have Stuart fight for Neil if he ever incurs the Moriyamas' disfavour — and I love that relationship. I love that exploration, I love seeing a Neil who at least has his mother's family in his corner.

But in canon, we hardly have any evidence to support that version of Stuart. All of their encounters have an element of business to them; Stuart rescues Neil from Nathan but that wasn't what he came down there to do — he came there because he just really, really disliked Nathan. Finding Neil was unexpected, and the first thing Stuart did was leave him there as a distraction for the FBI.

Still, it's not like he could have helped things on that front. The same way he tells Neil he can't protect Neil after the whole deal with the Moriyamas has been struck — it's just not something that can be helped. In TSC, Stuart comes to meet Neil to walk him through a plan designed to protect the Moriyamas — because that's who Stuart has allied with, and that's who Neil belongs to. It's a business transaction with a common denominator, and I see very little evidence that these two have the sort of relationship fanon maintains they do.

I know there are crumbs here and there to indicate that they do have a positive relationship, I just don't think they consider each other family, or that there is even any uncle-nephew bonding going in. Neil orders the hit on Grayson, and Stuart treats it like it's a query from a stranger. Really, Stuart? It's your organisation and you're not even gonna offer your own nephew a family discount?! I know Neil has his blood money but he's spent so much of it — and he's a student!! Who has pledged 80% of his future earnings to a crime family!! Maybe just do him a solid this once?

I think it's best explained by this example — in the EC we came to know that the Moriyamas will eventually end up getting rid of Stuart in favour of another leader within the Hatford set-up, and that before doing so they will ask Neil if he's going to be a problem when it happens. And Neil will be pretty broken up about it, but he's certainly not going to be a problem.

Which is the crux of the matter: as the canon dynamics stand, Neil and Stuart's relationship is simply too regulated by a careful balance of politics and crime and power for them to ever view each other as family. They operate in fucked-up contexts and their normal interactions are too much the product of belonging to crime families and knowing the price of necessity. Do I think they're callous about each other? No. But there's certainly no overflowing familial warmth there either.

I love that fandom explores the potential of what their dynamic could have been. But I don't think it's canon. Feel free to share any disagreements or alternate reading you have of the text, though, because I'm really open to changing my mind! And I'm also really curious about why a large part of the fandom has interpreted Stuart as having such strong pride and attachment over Neil in the first place.

#tsc spoilers #the sunshine court #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #stuart hatford

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earl-grey-orange-tabby · 3 months

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my aftg fan cast

disclaimers:

a lot of these, especially in the next part, aren’t actors, so this is less a fancast and more of a “i have a horrible imagination and need to visualize characters so they feel more real to me” list

if they don’t look like what you picture, agree to disagree! i love seeing other ppl’s perspectives of what the characters look like and i hope you do too

without further ado,

neil josten - benjamin wadsworth

okay listen just because i picked the most used neil fancast DOES NOT MEAN THE REST OF THIS LIST IS BORING!!! he’s just so neil-coded to me in deadly class! i even put him into a photo editing app to change his hair and eye color and he still fits!!! plus the top right pic is exactly how i imagine a nathaniel smile.

andrew/aaron minyard - vlad konoplev

i’m gonna give credit to @kalu_aftg on tiktok for this, because i saw this actor in their tik tok. he’s in a russian series called my biggest secret (i watched a couple clips but i haven’t seen the show)

but come on!!!! this is andrew minyard!!!! and always with andrew fancasts it’s difficult to see them as aaron but i feel like this could go both ways, especially in the bottom right pic. identical, but different vibes, yk?

dan wilds - kiersey clemons

i first saw kiersey clemons in new girl as kc and she feels so dan! then i saw the pic on the top left and i was like YES! this. is. dan. she seems very sweet and friendly but i know she could give a great game face.

nicky hemmick - conor husting

even his pics give off major nicky vibes. he also has a very similar hair length to what i picture nicky with. fun fact: he’s also half-mexican on his mother’s side which is strangely accurate lol!!

allison reynolds - jessica lord

i’m gonna be honest i just searched up “blond actresses 20’s” and that top left photo popped up and it was just so so so allison!! i included a couple pics of her in the ballet movie “find me in paris” because i couldn’t find a lot of pics of any of these actors in active wear and this felt close enough.

kevin day - nicholas galitzine

honestly i got this idea from an instagram live he did where he was yelling about being 6 foot and my brain was like “that is kevin day IN THE FLESH”. i originally saw him in bottoms and he totally cracked me up.

matt boyd - daniel ezra

like come on!!! his smile is so bright and inviting, it gives off such strong matt energy. he played spencer james in all-american and i haven’t watched it but ive seen ppl say good things. bonus: he’s the only one i could find with any form of a face guard (even tho nick galitzine also played a football player in bottoms lol)

renee walker - sydney park & lana condor

okay SO my criteria was soft-looking people that can look sharp in other pictures, and i came up with these two! it’s kinda hard to picture renee without the pastel/white hair but let’s suspend disbelief.

seth gordon - young david beckham

speaking of suspending disbelief, LMAOO. just hear me out, okay. seth was a fifth year, slightly older than the rest of them, so i was looking for that + blond buzz cut and this is the result!

and that’s all! i have more so i’ll probably make a part two, but im having trouble finding a nathan because it’s so hard NOT to picture nathan as a redhead but that means he probably won’t look like benjamin wadsworth.

#aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #dan wilds #matt boyd #renee walker #seth gordon #kevin day #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #foxhole court #fancast

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arcanacenturia · 9 months

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GOOD OMENS 2 SPOILERS

Something's so not right in S2 though.

The only time we "see" God is whenever she talks to Job and just blabbers stuff at him because she's bored af and doesn't have anybody to speak with except maybe the Metatron.

When Aziraphale tries to talk directly to God in S1, the Metatron tells him "Speaking to me is speaking to God" and categorically refuses to listen to Aziraphale's request.

That's weird. That's so weird.

We have no proof that he's actually relaying all this information to God. She hasn't appeared to anyone in centuries. He's also aware of Aziraphale's will to stop the arma-fucking-geddon.

He's aware of Azi's relation to Crowley.

As I've seen stated somewhere on Tumblr earlier, he's aware that just by trying to perform a teeny tiny miracle together they performed a huge ass one that triggered alarms in Heaven and succeeded in separating the two, because he's aware, and could be scared, of their combined powers.

Okay but why would he need to separate them?

A second too late, he told Aziraphale about The Second Coming, which is most likely linked to a new Armageddon again.

Related to that, we never heard God herself about the destruction of earth. Anything said about it is told by other characters. Note to myself: list up who talked about it.

The Metatron seems to be hiding something. Unlike the other (arch-)angels he's not naïve, he wears a black coat, he doesn't sugarcoat his speech to humans (and my synesthesia says he speaks Spiky, and not a good spiky).

I think it's also noteworthy that Crowley & Aziraphale don't communicate, not with words, Crowley never told Aziraphale about what Gabriel told him but he also never told Aziraphale what he found out about Gabriel in S2. He never told Aziraphale that his bosses were planning to restart Armageddon until Gabriel went Nah, that it's the reason the Metatron demoted him. He demoted the current Prince of Heaven for stopping it, then promoted Aziraphale, who is a lot more tame and also has been a cause of Armagenope to fail, to lead it.

I don't think Crowley fell because he asked questions to God. I think he sauntered vaguely downwards because he asked too many questions to the Metatron, that would put his plan in danger.

This bitch is SHADY AS FUCK and I'm honestly so eager, so curious to see what he (and season 3) is going to bring us. I wonder if he's lived among the humans, too. Besides, I feel like he's going to try (and maybe manage) and use Azi as his marionnette for whatever stuff he's preparing.

And I feel whatever he's preparing is really against God.

Thank you Neil Gaiman for this ending because even if it HURTS it's so interesting. There are so many things that could be going on behind the heartbreak. I could be going on about how Crowley probably even found out part of what happened. I've seen people speculate with good arguments that Crowley lost part of his memory after falling, and if it is the case that could be another thing done to prevent Crowley from stopping the Metatron.

There is SO MUCH that could be, so much that WILL be, and so little that we can know.

No matter in what form, I'm so excited to see how this will develop in the future.

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fahbee · 8 months

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Theory: Why did Aziraphale agree to the Arrangement?

There's two moments in Aziraphale's and Crowley's history together that we haven't seen yet, that I think have the potential to change the way we see them and their relationship to each other.

They are: The Fall and the Arrangement.

This post is about the latter.

[Slightly edited because I completely forgot the Good Omens book states that the Arrangement began "somewhere around 1020".]

Here's what we know about the Arrangement:

It started around 1020.

By the time of 1601 it had been in place long enough for them to have used it "dozens of times". I take this to mean at least 30 times, but probably closer to at least 50 times. I assume that the upper limit is likely under 200, else I would have expected Crowley to say "hundreds of times" rather than dozens.

The parameters of the Arrangement are that they "stay out of each other's way" and "lend a hand, when needed." It involves both of them performing blessings and temptings.

Crowley proposed the Arrangement under the justification of convenience. No sense for both of them to be uncomfortable in damp places only to cancel each other out, etc.

Aziraphale rejected the Arrangement because he didn't want to lie to Heaven. This was centuries after Aziraphale already lied to Heaven in order to save Job's children, so we know the problem isn't with the act of lying itself.

From this, we can deduce that Aziraphale is willing to lie to Heaven/other angels when he considers the matter important and/or righteous enough, and that sparing himself inconvenient travel and accommodation, etc does not rise to that standard.

By 1601, we know that Aziraphale no longer worries about lying to Heaven ("dozens of times now") but that Aziraphale does worry about the risk to Crowley if Hell were to find out what they're doing. "They would destroy you." Yet this protest seems more like a routine warning than a truly serious objection, and Crowley rolls over it easily. "Nobody ever has to know."

While it's possible that Aziraphale could have changed his mind about the Arrangement solely due to decades (centuries?) of Crowley asking him to reconsider every time they encountered each other while on the job, that would be a boring waste of an opportunity for character and relationship growth. IOW, I don't see Neil choosing to write that Aziraphale finally decided to go along with the Arrangement just because he got tired of Crowley asking.

No, the better, far more satisfying choice is for something to have happened that changed Aziraphale's mind. And it couldn't have been something to do with the actual work of the blessing and tempting. In 1601, the job involves a few minor blessings and tempting a clan leader to steal some livestock - nothing at all like the life-and-death, killing-children-to-win-a-bet circumstances which led Aziraphale to lie to Heaven for the first time.

There has to be some other reason then for why Aziraphale grows comfortable enough with lying to Heaven that it doesn't even warrant a mention as a token protest in 1601. But what does merit a mention? "If Hell finds out... they'll destroy you." Crowley's safety.

So what could possibly be so important, so righteous, as to justify not only lying to Heaven on the regular, but also risking Crowley's very existence? What could have possibly happened to make the Arrangement, with all its attendant deceit, risk, and danger, something that Aziraphale willingly participates in, over and over and over again, for centuries?

My theory? He does it for Crowley's happiness.

We know that as far back as 3000 BC at the flood/Noah's ark, Crowley had no stomach for the death of children. 500 years later he defines himself as a demon who goes along with Hell as far as he can and killing Job's kids (both human and goat lol) is going too far. He not only refuses to kill them, he performs miracles to save them and return them safely to their parents. And before Aziraphale figured out the trick with the goats, Crowley was clearly determined to keep his actions secret from both Heaven and Hell.

I think Aziraphale finally agreed to the Arrangement in order to give Crowley an excuse to do good. I think something happened in 1020 to make Aziraphale realize that Crowley sometimes needed to do good, but couldn't allow himself to do good unless he had an excuse for it.

The Arrangement is just another dance between them, another ritual they perform for seemingly plausible reasons but which actually has a much deeper meaning behind it. On the surface, the Arrangement allows them to cut down on redundant and/or unpleasant tasks. It's true purpose though, in my opinion, is to give Crowley the excuse he needs - even if it's just to himself - to balance out his demonic work with good deeds. Either Aziraphale does his tempting for him and he's spared from having to do evil deeds at all, or he does his own tempting but gets to cancel it out by doing blessings on Aziraphale's behalf.

Does Crowley realize it, though? I don't know. Prior to s2 I would have said of course he does. But we know now that Crowley has a huge blind spot when it comes to Aziraphale. He didn't even realize how clearly, obviously in love with Aziraphale he was until Nina bashed him over the head with it. Aziraphale's motivations and feelings, especially as regards Crowley himself, seem to be a complete mystery to Crowley. It would not surprise me to learn that Aziraphale made up some flimsy excuse for why he changed his mind about the Arrangement, and Crowley simply accepted it and never questioned it further.

In conclusion, I think Aziraphale entered into the Arrangement for Crowley's benefit whether Crowley realizes it or not.

#Good Omens #good omens meta #about 'the arrangement'#crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow

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desire-mona · 27 days

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Could I ask for a mini ramble on why Keating is your favourite character? Poised with a notebook and pen to take down notes haha

YES!!!!!!!

BECAUSE NOBODY EVER TALKS ABOUT HIM AND THATS HONESTLY SO RUDE!!!!!!!

so like. keating; let's talk about that

we desperately need to acknowledge that keating is an amazing man right down to his core. he is so passionate about living life in a way that makes him feel fulfilled that he makes it his main goal to teach others how to do the same.

he experienced the same exact thing as the poets, remember, the movie makes a big deal of how nothing at welton changes. he had the same exact oppressive environment growing up as they did, so he knew exactly how to connect to these boys.

HIS INTENTIONS AND ACTIONS WERE NOTHING BUT PURE, AND THATS WHAT MAKES HIS ENDING ALL THE MORE DEVASTATING.

every single one of his peers and superiors fully believed that neil's death was keatings fault, and actively shunned him for it. not a singular person that wasnt a Teenager in his community understood what he was trying to do. welton painted the narrative that keating taught these insane useless lessons about breaking the rules BUT NEED! I! REMIND! YOU! HE MADE A PRETTY BIG EMPHASIS ON THE FACT THAT U GOTTA BE SMART ABT IT! he called out charlie for the call from god thing for a reason!!

another crazy devastating thing abt keating + neils death is the fact that neil was understanding exactly what carpe diem mean's IMMEDIATELY. AND WAS ACTING ON IT!! he pursued things that he knew would make him happy and fulfilled in the long run, he knew what he wanted to do with his life and he took the first opportunity to get it. the exact fucking definition of seizing the day. keating was REACHING THIS KID SO WELL!! HE WAS UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS SAYING!!! AND THEN!!! AND THEN!!!!!!!!!!

so imagine this. you grow up in the most rigid, boring, unchanging environment and decide fuck it, im gonna Do Something for Myself for Once. you start to think oh, this is actually kinda sick, doing things that make me happy. you escape the environment that aims to essentially make these Children into what their idea of successful is. (quick reminder that there are actual children also attending welton. like kids. like 9 year olds n shit.) you actually chase after every opportunity to be what your idea of successful is, and were so passionate about that way of living that you learned how to teach others how to do it. and also poetry and stuff.

so youre doing exactly that, you finally got to a point where youre doing exactly what you wanna do, and teaching these kids in a situation just like yours. and its going SO WELL! there's this one kid who just GETS IT and is doing it flawlessly and then - oh !

and now everyone around you is like um wtf this is your fault actually. SO YOU HAVE TO PROCESS THE FACT THAT YOUR STUDENT IS DEAD ON TOP OF HAVING TO RELIVE THE ENVIRONMENT YOU HATED AND ACTIVELY WORKED AGAINST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. AND NOW YOU HAVE NO INCOME OR COMMUNITY OR HOME OR FRIENDS. AND THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU ARENT A MURDERER ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18. AND YOUR WIFE LIVES IN ANOTHER COUNTRY. OH AND ALSO YOUR RESUME IS RUINED AND ITLL PROBABLY BE PRETTY HARD TO FIND ANOTHER JOB IF YOU CAN AT ALL.

AND YOU HAVE CANCER. HE HAS CANCER IN THE OG SCRIPT.

keating is my personal description of raw devastation. all of who you are and what you wanted to be is in shambles because of something that isnt your fault. but almost everyone around you thinks it is your fault. and we're just gonna move on from that? thats it? thats the end of the story? no more keating after that?????? downright evil. more people gotta talk about this wonderful man!!!!!

also very sorry if this makes no sense, im quite high. but also shameless self promo pls interact with my ask blog @ask-captain-keating bc i lob running it. pleags. ily for asking this btw!!!!

#desire mona #media #GOOD LORD THIS WAS FUN!!!!#YAAAYYY #THANK YOU FOR THE ASK THANK YOU YHANK YOU!!!!#I LOVE TUMBLR #dead poets society #john keating #neil perry

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detectivebambam · 16 days

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For the choosing violence thing.

I curious about your thoughts on 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24, and 25

(Your thoughts make my day tbh)

lol i gotchu pinky

the character everyone gets wrong: Dan. she's not a badass. i mean she is, but she's not. she's a scared little girl who had to raise herself and has no idea what she's doing at any given time and i love her for it

why andrew would never top or bottom: actually he does both, and tends to enjoy it. kind of an agressive top but Neil likes it, and sometimes likes to follow orders when he bottoms 🫣 i think they do anything and everything with each other. Neil could be dominant or submissive at any given time, which gives Andrew space to learn about what he actually enjoys. He finds that as long as it involves Neil, he doesn't mind

worst tumblr take I've seen: that Andrew was a misogynist because he doesn't like being manipulated, and "manipulation is a woman's weapon" like how is THAT not misogynistic be so real

why did you block that annoying person?: kept saying that Kevin abused Riko as much as Riko abused Kevin. don't know how far they had to reach into the depths of their asshole to find that one, i just hope they didn't get stuck

i don't have discord

which ship fans are the most annoying: y'all are going to absolutely murder me for this but kevaaron. 1) where did it come from? 2) what's wrong with Katie?? 3) no hate ship what u want but also, i can ship what i want? and it's fine it's literally fine

what character did you start to hate because of fanon: i hate to say it but Thea. i adored her when I read the books originally, but after 4 years of exclusively fanon content i didn't like her. but i did a reread recently and adore her again so it's all good

common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about: Andrew being a sex god. Neil is his first consensual sexual partner. like yeah he knows how to suck dick like a dying man, which he learned in juvie (when he was 13-16?) but in terms of sex? he doesn't know what he's doing and he's probably really scared and nervous

worst part of canon: kevin and thea turning their daughter into a mini Raven 😔

worst part of fanon: Renee erasure 😔😔

fandom related words you've filtered: as of currently? anything tsc related because I don't have access to it yet and people aren't tagging properly. but I also have Rinee (rixo x renee) blocked because,,, what do you actually mean

unpopular character you like and why people should like them: Aaron. yeah he's an asshole and a little homophobic but he was raised that way and he's getting better

worst blorboification: if this means what i think it means, fucking riko. like wdym "he serves cunt" he needs to serve time

answered prev

you can't understand why this is popular: kevaaron, any riko ship, riko himself, ichirou x neil, andreil breaking up in fics ?

there should be more of this: fic: oral fixation. sexual or non sexual idc but let's Freud these bitches. fanart: ANDREW WITH LONG HAIR PLS PLS PLS

it's criminal that y'all have been sleeping on: STUART HATFORD. LITERALLY NEXT TO WYMACK ON THE FATHER FIGURE SCALE. I LOVE HIM

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like: i don't feel guilt I'm Presbyterian

part of canon you found boring: anytime they were in class like wdym

part of canon you think is overhyped: this one is going to get me in trouble so i wanna start off by saying that yes, Riko was a victim of abuse. I'm not disputing that at all. but the part where he got beat by Tetsuji and "was more blood and bruise than skin", while being horrible, was also because of Kevin leaving due to Riko breaking his hand. Tetsuji lost one of his biggest investments because of Riko's petty ego

fav part of canon that everyone ignores: Stuart Hatford man

ship you've unwillingly come around to: Kandreil lol. i didn't like it at first but idk the more fanfic i see I'm like yeah that could be cute

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: picture this, if you will: Nora Sakavic says something about her own damn characters. yeah that's all

common fandom complaint you're sick of hearing: "it's poorly written" it's not. if you can get over the first chapter of The Raven King, the rest is actually written very well and it's so so beautiful and depicts traumatized characters in a way I haven't seen before that is very refreshing

ty for the ask pinky ily

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dayurno · 2 months

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what are ur fav useless hcs. about kevin or anyone from aftg :) like they aren’t really significant but just little things you like to think about. bc i have so many but no one ever talks about theirs and im curious if you have any!

YAY i love this question and also feel free to send me yours too i think useless hcs are really fun

i think renee is a fast and furious fan and an action movie enthusiast….. in the first kevjean fic i’ve ever written there was a scene where she sat jean down and made him watch half of the fast and furious franchise with her and he hated it so bad but he couldnt tell her that so he just sat there very awkwardly the whole time. and renee knew he hated it but she loves the damn movies so much she thought it was a worth it sacrifice. i also love a dyslexia/adhd hc for renee, i think she has a hard time in academia and has a really really really fickle attention span. if you put jean and renee in the same room they might be able to finish a short book between them but its going to take at least 8 hours because they're going to get sidetracked talking to each other about dumb stuff

ex smoker jeremy is still real and beloved in my heart... i think he quit cold turkey in his junior year and it still gets him more often than not, but he's trying and that's all that matters

neil shoplifts on instinct. doesnt even think twice of it

kevin actually HATES the gym. he will not confess to this in any way shape or form but he genuinely hates it. its so early in the morning and the movements are so repetitive and its so boring. in evermore at least there was the threat of getting beaten up if he didnt do his sets right, but in psu its just plain boring. he will still go but he will hate every second. get this man to a court now

jean is horrible with performing small actions :) i think he has big shaky hands that struggle w the minutiae of any process ever. you do NOT want to ask this man to put thread through a needle or give you an injection or pack you a bowl or even light your cigarette. the #irreversible damage of multiple head injuries

also do let me know urs cause i also love hearing about this kind of stuff! i love small hcs... save me mundane realities of life. save me characters with little details

#if you combine jeans shaky hands with the gym you get a man who almost broke kevins foot in evermore three different times bc of #dropping weights #ITS HARD OUT HERE..........................#also i think renee is such an adrenaline junkie but she knows its bad for her so she lives vicariously thru fast and furious #renee when she has a bad day: oh vin diesel we're really in it now #this is less of a tiny hc but i actually think renee is really good w being alone? i feel like shes really good at enjoying her own company #stephanie couldnt be around her all the time so she learned how to entertain herself #so i think shes one of those people that dont ever get lonely at all. she loves the world so bad and it loves her back #shes very mary oliver saying time spent alone is still time spent w the world #asks #renee #kevin #jean #neil #jeremy

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vonlipvig · 1 month

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Causes of death in the Ace Attorney franchise

Because I'm bored, and what do we do when we get bored? We MAKE LISTS! I went through every character dead character in the canon game universe (so AA1-6, AAI1-2, and TGAA1-2, sorry PWvsPL) and jotted it all down below, so let's see what the most common (specified) cause of death in Ace Attorney is:

Stabbed (x15)

Shot (x15)

Hit by a blunt object (x14)

Impaled (x5)

Poisoned (x4)

Fell to their death (x3)

Hanged (x3)

Car crash (x2)

Strangled (x1)

Electrocuted (x1)

Crushed (x1)

Suffocated (x1)

Asphyxiated (x1)

Heart Failure (x1)

Burned (x1)

Full list with character names all color-coded by game and more specific data below! (Beware of SPOILERS for the whole series!)

COLOR CODE: OG Trilogy - AJ - DD & SOJ - AAI1 - AA12 - TGAA 1 & 2

(AAI gets two different colors since a lot of people probably haven't played AAI2 yet. Sorry, DD and SoJ, you have to share. 'Why don't you do one color for the whole Apollo Trilo-' No <3)

---

Stabbed (x15)

(Bruce Goodman, Misty Fey, Rex Kyubi, Constance Courte, Clay Terran, Metis Cykes, Inga Karkhuul Khura'in, Byrne Faraday, Manny Coachen, Horace Knightley, Di-Jun Huang, Mason Milverton, Jezaille Brettª, Odie Asman, Klint van Zieks)

Shot (x15)

(Gregory Edgeworth, Robert Hammond, Turner Grey, Pal Meraktis, Romein LeTouse, Magnifi Gramarye¨, Dhurke Sahdmadhi, Buddy Faith, Oliver Deacon, Deid Mann, Mack Rell, Ethan Rooke, Pop Windibank, Genshin Asogi, Tobias Gregson)

Hit by a blunt object (x14)

(Cindy Stone, Mia Fey, Russell Berry, Kane Bullard, Zak Gramarye, Candice Arme, Paht Rohl, Archie Buff, Jove Justice, Dumas Gloomsbury, Ka-Shi Nou, Isaac Dover, Jill Crane, Jack Cameron)

Impaled (x5)

(Jack Hammer, Neil Marshall, Manov Mistree, Puhray Zeh'lot, Tahrust Inmee¨)

Poisoned (x4)

(Glen Elg, Terry Fawles¨, Drew Misham, John H. Wilson)

Fell to their death (x3)

(Dustin Prince, Jack Shipley*, Akbey Hicks)

Hanged (x3)

(Joe Darke°, Celeste Inpax¨, Dahlia Hawthorne°)

Car crash (x2)

(Ini Miney*, Selena Sprocket*)

Strangled (x1)

(Juan Corrida)

Electrocuted (x1)

(Doug Swallow)

Crushed (x1)

('Di-Jun Huang')

Suffocated (x1)

(Taifu Toneido)

Asphyxiated (x1)

(Duncan Ross)

Heart Failure (x1)

(Azura Summers^)

Burned (x1)

(Magnus McGilded)

---

ª: She was stabbed, right? Like, she was poisoned first, but she died from the stab wound first, if I'm correct. Do tell if I'm wrong, lmao.

*: Accidental deaths

^: Natural death

¨: Deaths by suicide

°: Executed (Joe Darke's method of execution isn't mentioned, but if we assume Japanifornia goes by Japan laws, then hanging is the only method of execution used. Probably a higher number of deaths by hanging then, whether you believe some people got executed or not. Also, a lot of the killers in TGAA probably got executed, too? I just jotted down the confirmed cases, but yeah.)

(Also, von Karma died of 'Something'. Who knows. Of being too ashamed, maybe. Sucks to be him).

I probably missed some characters/omitted them, because who knows, it's my list I guess. If I forgot someone important do let me know!

#ace attorney #apollo justice #dual destinies #spirit of justice #ace attorney investigations #aai2 #tgaa #tgaa2 #oh this was FUN to make but god it took so long. unemployed behavior.#do tell if i got something wrong it's possible! but i think mostly everyone is here lmao

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animentality · 4 months

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(Leaps in askbox now its clear) Howdy! I'm curious about your opinions on the companions, like initial thoughts and now that you've clocked in an unhealthy (affectionate) amount of hours? We know what you'd change but how about everyone as is? Thanks!

Alrighty, I can finally answer this one...

Ok.

Man. This is gonna be a long one.

We're gonna start with the shorter opinions first.

Minthara:

I have not done a run where Minthara was alive in Act 2. I literally know almost nothing about her.

I think she's hot and has the sexiest voice of all the female characters, but I know nothing about her story, other than she was a lesbian with Orin. I do wanna try and romance her, but.

Who knows if I'll ever get around to it.

Minsc:

I get that he's a fan favorite from the old games, but I kind of hate him. He feels like fanservice, and I didn't get a nostalgia boner for him, so he does nothing for me as a character.

I honestly kill him. Not out of malice, just more out of, why even have him be here?

Plus I tend to go through the entire game without swapping my party members, because I'm pretending it's a real dnd campaign.

And I ain't changing my team comp for this weirdo who only shows up at the very end.

Sorry to his hamster when I kill him, though.

Jaheira:

She's ok. I don't hate her, but she doesn't do it for me. I don't get why she's Russian. And apparently the only Russian in the whole game.

She also feels like fanservice.

Plus she fucking drops ice storms on everyone's goddamn HEADS when they're already in Hunger of Hadar, and honestly?

We have beef. I let her die sometimes, for that crime specifically. I also skip her house, because it doesn't have good loot, besides the scimitars, and I don't play races or classes that use scimitars. like ever.

Halsin:

I like Halsin generally, he's inoffensive to me, but his "romance" is so bad. It's shallow, it feels tacked on, which it was, and everyone knows how much I HATE how little his sexual trauma is focused on.

I romanced him twice, and both times, I was underwhelmed and kind of shrugged him off.

He should just be a fling option like Mizora. He shouldn't have become a "romance" option. It's fine for him to be a big buff bear hippie that you can fuck, but a companion?

He's got nothing to do with Act 3. It's a detriment to his character and the game, tbh.

Ok, that's the smaller ones out of the way. Now mains:

Astarion:

I got into BG3 for Astarion.

I fully admit it. I saw a scene of him screaming at Tav for blasting him with the sun beam from the githyanki creche, and it was funny as fuck.

Neil Newbon is highly charismatic, and truly elevates a character I don't find that physically attractive. His personality and enthusiasm shine through, and his voice acting is superb. And I am a sucker for angst and redemption and themes of abuse and breaking free of toxic relationships. And darkly, I admit. I do like the more twisted nature of his backstory, the way he had to use his body to survive, has a bad relationship with sex, and was tortured repeatedly. As anyone who reads my writing knows...I am a disgusting sadistic pervert.

That being said.

I no longer like Astarion. Well. No. I like Astarion.

I don't like his fans, or his rhetoric. Astarion has the better writing of BG3, but the lack of nuance from his fans annoys the shit out of me, and overexposure to him as a character, since Tumblr and TikTok are obsessed with him?

No me gusta. I don't hate him as a character, but I can't stand to see Astarion is so perfect posts. He's not, and that's the whole point. He's awful, but you people don't appreciate that. I don't want to see Astarion x Tav headcanons. And I especially do not care about the BookTok crowd being obsessed with him because they just like a dommy vampire, and disrespect his narrative with absolutely no self awareness.

BookTok Astarion is SO GODDAMN BORING. They really just reduce him to a hot dommy vampire daddy, and that's why I never take BookTok recs. Pure garbage.

So. TL;DR - I got BG3 for him, but overexposure to his fans made me be significantly less interested in him. It's a good thing. If I was obsessed with Astarion, I'd be forced to interact with his fans. Thank god for Gortash... I'm free of that prison.

Lae'zel:

I loved Lae'zel the minute she was mean to me.

She's hot as fuck, like seriously, so hot, her neck makes me sweat something fierce, and her voice is sultry and raspy and hostile. just how i like my women.

But I admit...she's too fucking meta. gameplay wise, she's probably the strongest companion you can have for DPS...so I admit...I've had her on my teams so much, that I am sick of her.

And again! It's not because she's badly written. I actually think her character is really strong, and really awesome. I also think her arc is amazing, going from this devoted cult member to basically saying I'm going to fucking kill a god.

I actually teared up a little at the creche this one time, when I had to beg her to stay, and she was like, you knew I had no other path to follow, but this one, or something like that.

But.

But I have beaten the game with her in my party like three times. I've had her in my party on Honor mode like...a million times.

So, tl;dr - I love her to death, but gameplay wise, she's so strong that I can't play her anymore.

Shadowheart:

Ok...I admit it.

I don't like Shadowheart. I find her boring visually, because she's just this generically hot white girl. She was designed to be the companion that all straight cis white men would want to see naked, and that's fine but uh.

Does absolutely nothing for me.

I don't care for her personality either. I don't like her lines, all coy and vaguely condescending. I don't really like how mean she is to you, and it's different from Lae'zel, because at least Lae'zel came from a warrior culture that doesn't put much value on flowery language. Lae'zel makes sense.

Shadowheart is an amnesiac who's just mean to you because.

I also don't care for her story, at all.

Don't care about Shar's Gauntlet or her kidnapped backstory. Don't give a shit about her parents. Don't care that she's scared of wolves or that her hand hurts.

I like the overarching thematic bridge that her character exists on, specifically that the gods will demand everything of you, and will hurt you for their own amusement.

But as a companion...no.

I have never been interested in romancing her. I never have her on the party, except to get that achievement.

I also don't like clerics. I think they're kind of weak, tbh. They're heal bots. They're really only good for spirit guardians, glyph of warding, and removing status effects. Just don't care for that. I'm an all dps team, we have no room for healers.

TL;DR: I don't think Shadowheart is interesting design wise, story wise, or gameplay wise.

Karlach:

I loved Karlach the moment I saw her, I fell deeper in love with her the second I heard her voice, and I knew I would die and kill for her, when I saw her excited "I love you" confession scene.

Seriously.

I have said this before, and I will say it again.

Out of all of these characters, romanceable or not...

I would only marry Karlach in REAL LIFE. I'd never date a man like Gortash or Astarion. I might be friends with Gale, but he's too smart to be my boyfriend.

But Karlach. She brings the wife energy. She could throw me over her shoulder and bash me against the concrete, and I would say thank you, ma'am.

she's also so fucking fun to play. barbarian options in bg3 are so goddamn funny. you can intimidate everyone and just break shit. it's great. you can also constantly throw people AT PEOPLE. And it's great. She's way more fun than Lae'zel because of it.

No notes. Top tier character design. My wife.

But also FUCK the developers for only giving her two fucking quests, one of which is a FETCH IT quest and the other is just a lame boss fight.

And FUCK THEM for only originally giving her an ending where she either dies or becomes a mindflayer. WHY.

And the Avernus ending still annoys me, because the ENTIRE PARTY should be there too.

FUCK YOU LARIAN. Why do you hate Karlach???? You're monsters. She's never done anything wrong, and yet all you do, is wrong her.

Bullshit.

Wyll:

Ok.

Hard truth time.

Wyll is the hottest male companion.

Like.

No cap. Everyone who says Gale, or Astarion, or Halsin-

Incorrect. It's Wyll. He is literally so hot, with the white eye and those sexy throat scars. Hrrrrrrr.

Also, controversial opinion. I actually like his devil form.

I think it makes him even hotter. I do wish he had wilder hair, though.

That being said...

He's horribly underwritten.

I went in, thinking, he's so kind and nice and hot...and then I was disappointed by how little they gave him.

He, like Karlach, got hit with the cut content curse.

And it's so ugly.

And gross.

And honestly, I suspect it's racist.

But yeah.

I think he's really sweet and I like romancing him and all. But they didn't dedicate any time or effort to his romance, and I hate that. But not him. Never him.

TL;DR - my first impression of Wyll was wow, he's hot, I wanna know more about him, and my last impression is, wow, he's so hot, I hate that he has nothing going on because Larian simply didn't bother to give him shit to do.

Gale

Alright, I left Gale for last, because he has the MOST complicated relationship with me.

So I initially missed Gale, because my friend failed the strength check to get him out of the portal.

So for a while, I didn't even know he existed.

Then I started to see more of him on Tiktok and Tumblr, and I was like oh...ok. So...we missed him. Damn.

So I decided to try romancing him fairly early on....only to find out...

I absolutely despised that when he dies, he killed me with necrotic damage.

That pissed me off. In the early days, when I was new to the game, I think I once had a whole team wipe, because Gale and Lae'zel went down, and then Karlach went rampaging, set me on fire, and then died to Gale's necrotic...which is funny in hindsight, but it was annoying at the time.

The eating magical items thing was mildly annoying, but that was far worse.

I pretty much never ran Gale for a long period of time.

As the Dark Urge, I'd often kill him, in fact, just so I wouldn't have to deal with his Arcane Hunger.

And honestly, initially, I kind of disliked his personality too.

I think the first scene I ever saw of him was when you tell him he's ok in bed, and his response is like, I guess I'll go kill myself.

And honestly, I thought he had incel vibes because of it. Then add to the fact that he's rude to you, no matter what, when he needs his third item...and also add that to the annoying gameplay, PLUS the fact.

That I was rocking Sorceror and Warlock for most of my early runs, so didn't need a wizard...I said, no. No Gale.

I don't like Gale.

BUT.

Here's the thing, right?

I got into Gortash... and then I stepped away from Astarion. Started being obsessed with the Dark Urge...

And then I noticed that all of my Durgetash friends were super into Gale, and I didn't get why...

But then weavewithshadow specifically alerted me to the fact that... there are Gale and Gortash parallels...specifically, that they're both brilliant, scruffy, are blinded by ambition, can't appreciate the things they have, and keep chasing after things they can't quite reach.

And then I was like...ok, maybe I've been harsh on him...

So I did his romance...and I felt bad.

Because he's actually very sweet.

And his voice is reallllly lovely when it's soft and fond.

He's a poet...and then I felt bad for all the times I had chewed off his arm.

And honestly, with experience...I now know what to feed him. Mostly garbage magic items like Komira's dumb locket or the ring of color spray from the harpies' nest, or those dumb boots that electrify the water you stand in.

Plus, I'm smart enough to know how to keep Gale alive now, so the necrotic thing isn't an issue.

So.

So. TL;DR I had a very complicated relationship with Gale, first with his mechanics, then with this random out of context scene where he's kind of nasty to you. But I came around, and honestly...right now...I like him more than Astarion.

All he wants to do is...live.

And I relate to that.

And his romance scenes are nice, and he has more of an arc than most of the other companions, Astarion aside.

So there you go, anon.

This took forever to write.

Thanks for the ask, though.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3

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thefiresofpompeii · 4 months

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if you've watched nightmare in silver i'd love to hear what you think — it's a pretty good episode in my opinion and it's one of the few cybermen-as-the-main-monster episodes i actually liked, but it's also one of those episodes that takes some of its most interesting elements from something i like a lot more from the eu so that coloured my perception a bit (turns out constantly going wow just like zagreus makes you less capable of just enjoying the episode as it is. oops)

it’s… a mixed bag of an episode, honestly, provided how much stuff is actually in it. i liked select parts of it a whole lot, much room for thought there, whereas others … skeeved me out, to put it mildly. i don’t think neil could possibly have topped the masterpiece that is The Doctor’s Wife, and whatever he set out to do here… could have stood a little more editing??

to get the grumbling out of the way: the kids. Most Annoying Who Side Characters Ever award goes to them, singlehandedly taking first place away from that stuck-up nerd in Poison Sky. i don’t know if neil intended for them to act supremely slappable, but christ alive. just the constant dour negativity and ‘bored teenager’ unimpressed commentary … walking vibe drainers. made it hard to care about their fate tbh. oh they got cyberconverted? oh they got rescued and brought back? Whatever. call me a boomer apologist… i’ve never referred to a pair of children (fictional or real) as ‘ungrateful spoiled brats’ before but this could be the day i start.

additionally: the hell was that stuff about clara at the end? “too short and bossy and your nose is all funny” “mystery wrapped in an enigma stuffed into a skirt that’s just a little too tight” go to hell gaiman. genuinely. here i was relying on you, thinking you’re immune to casual misogyny. especially since it doesn’t even make sense… clara’s skirts are never tight? not once? i understand that the former comment was a bluff to get out of admitting feelings but, again it’s not even accurate, since jenna coleman’s nose completely fits the beauty standard?? baffles me

those are all minor nitpicks bc other than that the episode’s fun! and creative, especially all the scenes with the cyber-planner and their high-stakes chess game (you like chess dontcha). i haven’t listened to zagreus (YET) but from what i’ve gathered from internet osmosis the doctor gets possessed by an … evil nursery rhyme? lmao. seems legit

anyway nightmare in silver has unfortunately made me understand people who find matt smith attractive. i’ve cracked it: it’s a dormant gene that only activates when he’s playing an intimidating villain. especially here, when he’s mr clever, a warped mirror of eleven, with the boundaries between the two blurring so far as to confuse even clara. this moment is top notch:

which one of you said that? she’s right to question it.

he’s been quietly manipulative with clara for the entire duration of their travels so far, concealing from her the truth about the ‘mystery’ that her whole existence presents to him, while she remains the object of his puzzle-solving quest. a particularly odious example in this scene in Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS, where the doctor is fully aware that their impending doom at the cliff is an illusion, but puts on the pretense that they’re about to fall to their deaths anyway, building all that fear just to to coax clara’s “secret” out of her (“since we’re both going to die here, you may as well tell me what you are”). as soon as he gets what he wants — or, rather, doesn’t, because there’s no satisfactory answer yet — he reveals that he’d known all this time that the TARDIS wouldn’t have let them fall.

that’s what makes mr. clever so insidiously, well, clever as a plot device: eleven’s not possessed by an external force, not quite. no: it’s his own shadow showing. he’s always been like this. the cyber-code slowly taking over the right side of his brain is just as smart as him, just as manipulative, just as much of a trickster. all his darker traits turned up to, well, 11 (sorry not sorry). “allons-y!” “fantastic!” “you’ve had some cowboys in here” mr clever is a parasite that takes the worst and best parts of the doctor, cuts them up and re-attaches them in a parodic audio-collage, and isn’t that just so fucking ingenious

another line that’s just a straight banger, not much to say about it really other than the fact that it cuts straight through to the core of the narrative:

this spun out of control and turned out far far longer than expected, my apologies (not really. you asked!)

#dw #nightmare in silver #doctor who #eleventh doctor #neil gaiman #matt smith #clara oswald #jamie catches up #jamie.txt #doctor who meta

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adarkrainbow · 6 months

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Spooky season fairytales (6)

And we reach the penultimate post of this series! After looking at actual fairytale adaptations (well... roughly), for this post I want to love at fantasy movies that are not any adaptation of any specific tale or story... But which were made with the intentions of having a "fairytale feel" or a fairytale lore. Dark or creepy movies inspired by fairytales as a whole. Basically "dark fairytale fantasy".

And of course I have to begin with the most FAMOUS dark fairytale movie of our century... Guillermo del Toro's "Pan's Labyrinth", in the original Spanish, "El Laberinto del Fauno".

Do I need to present this movie? Probably not, since it was one of del Toro's masterpices, but to simply put it... This is a dark, haunting, poetic but tragic movie following a little girl's life in the Spain of Franco. Said little girl meets in the ruins of an old labyrinth, guided by fairies, a faun, who reveals to her she is the lost princess of a fairy realm... But to regain her place, she will have to undergo fairytale-trials. All while the little girl enjoys her "changeling fantasy", we follow the harsh and horrifying everyday life of World War II Spain that unfolds around her: the girl's step-father is a Falangist captain who hunts down with cruelty the resistance in the area, while her mother is having a very complicated pregnancy. And as the real-world piles on the horrors - famine, execution, torture - so does the fairy-world becomes darker and darker, filled with monsters, ogres and blood...

Of course, Guillermo del Toro did other dark "fairy pieces" - such as Hellboy II, which is a dark and gritty urban-fantasy homage to the fair folk - and recently returned to the fairytale world with his acclaimed Pinocchio.

1985's Legend, by Ridley Scott, is usually considered as one of the "great 80s fantasy movies", alongside pieces such as Ladyhawke, The Dark Crystal, Conan the Barbarian, Willow and more. However "Legend" is also, and this is less evoked, one of the prime examples of a movie belonging to the genre of "fairytale fantasy" - alongside stories such as Stardust or The Neverending Story.

After all, all the elements are there. The main hero is a brave young "wild man" of the woods, who must save a princess trapped by an evil monster, with the help of fairies and elves, and the whole quest goes through numerous folkloric motifs and characters - the unicorn, the water-hag, the fight of day and night, the endless winter... But speaking of "endless winter", the reason why this movie is featuring here is because of how dark it becomes. Truly. The main villain is even the literal embodiment of Darkness, an evil creature sporting the most iconic look of a devil in the history of cinema, and played by none other than Tim Curry himself. He sends hordes of goblins devour babies and kill unicorns throughout endless winter and ever-ending night... To reach him one must cross a monster-infected swamps leading to a dark palace of venomous charms, dancing statues and cannibal feasts... And even the elves and fairy sidekicks are truer to Brian Froud illustrations and the original "fair folk", being whimsical, capricious, easily angered and just as dangerous as the villains they're fighting...

Coraline. Another great piece of "fairytale fantasy".

Coraline (the movie or the book it is based on, the two have several differences but complement each other very well) is the story of a young girl living your typical "travel to another magical world" plot, as she discovers a secret door allowing her to escape her dreary, boring and unpleasant life to find an alternate, whimsical, fantastical and charming version of her own family and neighbors. But of course, this being a Neil Gaiman story, things quickly grow strange and eerie, as talking cats, fairy-ghosts, shapeshifting witches and buttons sewn in place of eyes come to turn the dream into a nightmare, and then into a battle of wits to survive against a dark and old magic...

Yet another VERY famous piece - there's a lot of famous pieces I am covering here, but hey, not my fault the good stuff is getting the recognition it deserves!

Over the Garden Wall, an animated mini-series that was created by the same man behind "Adventure Time", telling the story of two brothers as they try to find a way home while venturing into a bizarre and magical forest called "The Unknown". They are guided by a talking bird in hope of finding a good witch who will help them - all the while mysterious and dark figures such as the Woodsman or the Beast linger in the shadows and keep crossing path with them...

Over the Garden Wall is a perfect autumn watch, since it actually takes place during the autumn season, the first episodes exploring an Halloweenesque harvest festival, while the lasts take place in winter. More than just autumn imagery, the show relies heavily on the "vintage" and "old" imagery of early 20th, 19th and even 18th centuries America, building its wonders and magic with vintage Halloween cards, Colonial or Industrial-era fashions, Betty Boop or Silly Symphonies cartoons, the Dogville Comedies and the "Game of Frog Pond" board game... However, under its at first whimsical and fanciful appearance, the mini-series quickly reveal a haunting tale worthy of the darkest fairytales, exploring themes such as betrayal, despair, death and sacrifices.

In fact, "Over the Garden Wall" was inspired by numerous fairytales, hence its fairytale feel. Many, many people commented that, upon watching the series, they felt the exact same thing they experienced when, as a kid, they discovered new fairytales - I also felt it, and this proves the power of this series that truly captures the essence of what a fairytale is. On top of reusing fairytale tropes (two children exploring woods filled with girls turned into birds, good and bad witches, strange talking beasts...) and explicitely referencing some "fairytale-like" children novels (especially "The Wizad of Oz"), the very artstyle of the show was inspired by "fairytale art", ranging from Gustave Doré's illustrations of Perrault to Tenniel's Alice in Wonderland drawings, passing by old Andersen illustrations.

Ah, finally a more obscure piece! At last for non-French people... La Cité des Enfants Perdus, The City of Lost Children. A 1995 movie by Jean-Pierre Jeunet. Now, Jeunet is one of those French moviemakers distinctively recognizeable thanks to his very unique style of movie making. You will recognize this when you know that he is behind the movies "Delicatessen" (the one about a former clown in a post-war world behind hired in a building dominated by a cannibalistic butcher) and the "Amélie Poulain" movie (about a quirky Parisian waitress who decides to change whimsically the life of those around her). Jeunet enjoys the bizarre, the unusual, strange technologies, extravagant characters, dark humor, absurd comedy, and oniric or fairytale-like atmosphere... And this all blooms in the darkest and eeriest way in this movie.

To put the story simply (which is a challenge since it is a complex movie)... Off the shores of a shadowy, dirty, corrupt fishing town, in a manor in the middle of the sea (on top of an abandoned oil rig), an old mad scientist regularly captures children. For you see the scientist is unable to dream, and tries to steal away the dreams of children - which never works, since being captured by a creepy old man makes the children have nightmares rather than sweet dreams. One day, the little brother of a simple-minded circus strongman is captured - and the strongman teams up with a little girl, a street-savy member of a group of street urchins, to try to get him back. The story is further muddled by the presence of a cult of "cyclops" in town that do the dirty work of the mad scientit for him, the threat of greedy conjoined sisters that run the gang the little girl is part of, and the strange entourage of the mad scientist himself (six identical brothers acting like children, a dwarf-wife, and a sentient, talking brain in a jar).

This movie truly feels like a dream - like one of those dark, strange dreams that never fully go into a nightmare while still walking at the edge, and the story, no matter how feverish it can get, still keeps certain cohesive elements to maintain its flow of sinister wonders (such as the theme of family, heavily explored). The movie never goes into actual magic - we are more into a proto-steampunk world crossed with the mad science of Gothic literature and horror movies - but its oniric, bizarre and borderline surreal treatment of the subject did earn this movie the classification of "science-fantasy" and "dark fantasy", as mythological, folkloric and fantasy archetypes can be clearly seen throughout the science-fiction setting (the "cyclops" for example, or the very idea of "a creepy old man stealing children's dreams").

Heck - this movie was one of the prime inspirations behind "Little Nightmares"!

And finally, I cheat a little here, but I had to include it: Disney's Hocus Pocus. This is a classic of Halloween movies, a fun but dark horror-comedy for teens, (well rather like a full comedy but with elements that make it horrific here and there), campy in all the good ways, and with the greatest trio of witches ever depicted on stage since Shakespeare's Weird Sisters.

Now, the movie itself is not very much fairytale like. It is a Halloween comedy, an urban-fantasy story for teenagers, drawing upon the myth of the witch and the legends surrounding witchcraft. However, precisely because the movie explores the figure of the witch, there are several fairytale references here and there. While the Sanderson sisters were mostly build out of the Christian myth of the witch (using human-skin bound grimoires, having sold their souls to the devil, tied to black cats, summoning ghouls out of graves, hate salt...), there are also several parts of their characters tied to fairytale witches. Hansel and Gretel is the most obvious one - they are child-eating witches living into the woods who lure children to their home before "devouring" them (in souls if not body) - but Snow-White is also among the references (a very vain witch who is obsessed with staying the fairest/youngest and kills children to do so?). And of course, there's all the fairytale-witches tropes ranging from "turning people into animals" (here a cat rather than a frog) to the use of the number three.

Oh yes, and let's not forget the specific use of an oven...

#spooky season fairytales #spooky season #dark fairytales #fairytale movies #over the garden wall #pan's labyrinth #legend #hocus pocus #the city of lost children #coraline #fairytale fantasy

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liveyourlastbreath · 2 years

Text

Neil Josten’s adventures in Exy as an (unwilling) Amputee (PT3)

Holy cow the response to this au has been amazing, thank you all so much!

Riko saunters onto the stage like the bitch that he is (i hate him very much)

because this is my au and I can do what I want, when Kevin sits back down basically on top of Neil, Neil has an out-of-character moment and grabs Kevin’s fist that is crushed between their bodies, hoping that it’s enough to keep him from bolting live on air

Riko and Neil are just that one meme, ya know, the one

Somehow this conversation also happens, and Neil seriously considers taking up Wymacks idea of beating someone over the head with his leg

Kathy: So Riko, what are your opinions on Neil being the first amputee playing in Class 1 Exy?

Riko: I think it makes the Foxes more of a joke than they already are.

Kathy: So you think it’s a bad idea

Riko: I think it’s a risk

Neil: I mean we already have Kevin, what was it I was saying about starting over from the gutters?

Neil is really tempted to bring his leg up between Riko’s when he’s slammed against the wall.

Riko: I don’t approve of cripples, Kevin. You need to get rid of him as soon as possible, save the little dignity your team has left.

Kevin: He has potential, you saw him last night. He played just as well as any of them.

Riko turning on Kevin is Neil’s last straw, because I’d like to think in this au, their hand and leg bring them closer together faster, they really do understand what it’s like to start over, to relearn something everyone else has known since birth

So he grabs Riko’s shirt and throws him back harder than in cannon. Meaner than in the book because he’s beyond caring about his own safety, and he just really wants to hit something

Riko slams into Neil and sends him tripping into wires, tangling up his leg and making it impossible to get away. Neil’s hands are already clawing off his leg when Riko pulls back to swing

And then Andrew is there with Neil’s now detached leg, the sole of the shoe backing him away from Kevin and Neil. Neil is up on his foot and away from Riko as soon as he can find his balance hopping on his one foot

Andrew doesn’t give Neil back his leg, so aids are watching as Kevin holds up a hopping Neil as they get back to the team.

“The fuck did your leg go?” “I think Andrews using it as a bat”

Andrew passes it back to Neil with a lingering touch and a bored expression. No blood on the foot, that’s a good thing, doesn’t explain why Andrew’s touch lingered or why there’s goosebumps on Neil’s back

Neil eventually walks into the mess that is the cousins’ room, glass everywhere and Neil is increasingly concerned about how it could have ruined Andrew’s goalie abilites.

“What would it take to make you stay?” “What?” “Name it and it’s yours, I’m not above hiding all your little legs until I get an answer.”

So they go to Columbia again

Neil's no longer a rabbit

Neil takes off his contacts, gives them a little more of whoever was hiding behind the scar tissue of his life

Neil and Andrew start their game again, and Neil gives him bits, asking Andrew for protection against his father

The truth hurt, if he was being honest. It burned like the scars on his leg were fresh, sounded like his father's cleaver against his own bone

"He already took my leg. If he finds me, he will kill me." "Not a car crash then?" "Called it a lesson, never planned on letting me go but I got away anyways." "What a mess."

And then Neil gets shoved into Andrew's side, and all he can think about is how Andrew can hold him up. How he's nothing like his mother, who never held him up for anything other than to run.

Andrew was holding him up and telling him to stay, that meant more than his mother ever did.

Kevin and Neil find themselves alone at the table later in the night, and is to drunk to keep his mouth shut

Kevin: You were going to hit him, with your leg.

Neil: Andrew beat me to it

Kevin: Would you?

Neil: Wish I had, we could all bond over being cripples together.

Neil: Did my talent catch my eye or was it my leg

Kevin: Both. But your leg doesn't define how well you play. You learned a new sport on one leg. A lot of people couldn't say the same.

Kevin: (beat) We can do this

Neil: You're wasted

Kevin: If I didn't think you could do it I wouldn't have fought for you

Neil: You're learning on your right and relearning on the left.

Kevin: I guess cripples like to stick together

And that was the end of it, they ignored each other after that

Seth overdosed right about then, Neil didn't get it, understand how someone could actively want to die when his entire life had been about survival

He could have curled up and died at his father's feet that night, he didn't

Even Andrew's hand at his neck couldn't soothe the confusion and fear that came with a the realization; Seth's death was planned

Neil hated Andrew already knew him, knew the look in his eyes that told him to run

So he pressed a key into Neil's hand and went inside.

Home, that's what Andrew had called it. Home.

Neil wasn't sure if this was some kind of joke, a dream or a nightmare. He hoped he never found out.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART THREE || PART FOUR

#amputee!neil #neil is an amputee #aftg #neil josten #Andrew MinyarD #tfc incorrect quotes #Andreil #the foxes #the foxhole court #all for the game #all for the gay #exy #exy is sexy #david wymack #kevin day #butcher of baltimore #neil josten is a menace #neil josten angst

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brsb4hls · 8 months

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I might be the only one upset at this, but what happened to Neil saying that Aziraphale and Crowley rescue each other? If I'm remembering correctly, in an ask he said that Aziraphale has saved Crowley plenty of times and it just wasn't in s1? It's such a tv show good omens thing and I don't take what is said outside of the media as canon, but S2 has only enforced that Crowley saves Aziraphale and not the other way around. That Crowley saves the day, that Crowley is main character material, and that Crowley is supposed to be who we're rooting for and sympathize with more. Having Azirpahale say out loud that saving him makes Crowley happy (like so many other things, explicitly said instead of shown) pushes it more and more. I don't like it. And I don't like that even after that scene where Aziraphale says he does have a plan, he does one thing and is like that was my plan that's all I've got. It's a characterization thing and a pet peeve for me mixed into one. Idk if anyone else feels the same way, but this whole saving business has gotten away from me.

You're definitely not the only one struggeling with that characterization.

They way they are presented reinforces a very cliched (and imbalanced) character dynamic.

Aziraphale is the soft (albeit slightly bitchy) reluctant one and Crowley the bad boy with a heart of gold who saves the day.

Which is a) boring af and b) pretty straight.

Which is why it works so well in fandom.

It's a character dynamic that a lot of people are familiar with, because typical romances work that way, we have a lot of them and are used to them, so they resonate.

It does take away from the uniqueness of their characters though.

The fun thing about Crowley and Aziraphale is that they are not fullfilling typical roles.

(Book) Crowley tries to be cool, but is failing spectacularily, while Aziraphale is supposed to be the rightous one, but his moral compass is all over the place.

That dynamic creates comedy and some great philosophical points to think about.

And it could have easily be transferred to the show.

I also agree that the one-sidedness of the tv relationship makes it feel a bit off.

Yes, Aziraphale makes heart eyes (thank you Michael Sheen for saving the script I guess), but is pretty passive otherwise.

He doesn't even ask why Crowley's plants are suddenly living in the Bentley, even though he carries them around.

It might be the lack of Terry Pratchett, it might be Gaiman, it might be Finnemore (I'm not familiar enough with his work).

It's a shame though, their original dynamic is amazing.

I do recommend 'Crowley gets summoned and Aziraphale saves him fanfic, there's some really good stuff.

(If I remember correctly there's also a bamf!Aziraphale tag, for balance).

#anonymous #good omens #good omens critical #I might also add the tv dynamic works for people because people like comparisons and parallels #and if you only apply the most superficial template you can compare Crowley/Aziraphale to other character dynamics/relationships #that are actually completely different

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orionsangel86 · 9 months

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Good Omens Season 2 - Overall Review

You know every now and then its nice to step outside of the echo chamber and get a fresh perspective on things. I've been looking at some negative reviews for GOS2 this evening after some critical comments came across my dash which was a surprise at first because my dash has otherwise been filled with GOS2 love and adoration (if perhaps also some odd theories floating around).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it made me really consider mine, so I decided to write it down. I know I still have episode reviews for eps 2-6 to write up, which I will get to, but I needed to get this off my chest first. This is generally just a reaction post outlining all the things I liked and didn't like about GOS2. Under a cut because looooong.

I hadn't read the Good Omens book before I watched Season 1. I watched that show completely blind and my main reason for watching at the time was because

a) I'm always going to be a little bit in love with David Tennant and so watch absolutely everything he is in always no matter how horrible (Des was a particularly hard watch)

b) I had heard that GO was partially some of the original inspiration for Supernatural and I'll be a Supernatural slut til the end of time.

c) I love all things fantasy and it genuinely looked like a great show.

Whilst I loved the first season, the thing I loved about it, was Aziraphale and Crowley. I also very much enjoyed the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the Angels and Demons, and Anathama and Madam Tracey as characters.

I hated the kids. They were bloody awful and on every rewatch I have done in the past few years I have had to skip over their scenes. I find them completely unwatchable. I found Newt to be boring and Shadwell a pain in the ass. I don't find that particular brand of misogyny funny so his scenes are also just painful for me. I loathed the fact that he ended up with Madam Tracey in the end, AND that she changed who she was completely for him. What the FUCK was that all about?

Anyway, now that that is off my chest, the point I am making is that the only thing I really enjoyed about Good Omens was Crowley and Aziraphales love story plus a few of the awesome female characters they had helping them. I also enjoyed the quirky narration by God which I think had a distinctly Douglas Adam's feel to it (which I believe was the vibe Terry and Neil were going for at the time).

I have always been of the opinion that it was GOs faithfullness to the book which let it down. I read the book after watching the show and whilst it was a good book, it dragged on in parts, spent too long focusing on the kids, and Aziraphale and Crowley weren't quite as lovable in book format as they were brought to life by DT and MS. To me, the book was a 6/10, the show a 7/10. I was a fan of AziraCrow and their love story. I did not, and have not ever, believed they were "canon" in season 1 (though i was loathed to admit this due to the rabidity of the fandoms insistence that they were - which was spurred on by Gaiman much to his own detriment).

So when GOS2 came around I had no expectations that it would kick off with AziraCrow being all lovey dovey and shacked up - having confessed their love and living together as life partners - as I genuinely believe some GO fans expected to be the case - after all these are the fans that insisted it was canon in season 1! Surely that means they'll be together in season 2 right?

Well obviously that wasn't the case. First mistake for Neil Gaiman - maybe don't spend 4 years trying to convince your fanbase that these characters are already together and in love if you are going to write a whole second season revolving around the fact that they still aren't together.

I was also really worried when GOS2 was announced that they'd bring back the bloody kids, and Shadwell, and the other season 1 characters. I was very much relieved when I heard that wasn't the case. As much as I enjoyed Madam Tracey, she was ruined at the end of S1, and as much as I liked Anathama, I was very aware that her story was over the moment she burned the new prophecy book.

So going into Season 2, I was expecting and hoping for a few things:

The romantic development of AziraCrow from friends to lovers

More time with the angels and demons

A fun lesbian side story

Technically, I got all three things.

I am aware that GOS2 has its flaws. It's pacings a bit dodgy, and I do find some of the dialogue a bit jarring particularly in the Maggie and Nina scenes. The entire season has this slightly saccharine quality to it where I feel like if I watch it too many times too quickly I'll get sick from the sweetness. There needed to be a little bit more gruesomeness and angst to counteract all that sugar - Zombie Nazi's notwithstanding.

The Maggie and Nina mirrors to Aziraphale and Crowley were more heavy handed than in a season 8 MOTW episode of Supernatural. I've made that joke before, but it still stands. I wish that Neil had been a bit more subtle with it. As much as I like Maggie and Nina, they could have used a bit more development and a bit of distance from Zira and Crowley. I did find the scene where they sit down with Crowley at the end to basically tell him to get his shit together and tell Zira how he feels like something out of a fangirls dream. Does anyone remember that really OTT gay Hallmark style Christmas movie that came out last year? Single All The Way? Gods, when I first watched that movie I thought it was sweet, but it was so obviously taken from fanfiction that I couldn't take it seriously (I say this as someone who adores fanfiction and has huge respect for fanfiction writers - but we all start somewhere, and its usually as a teenager writing really sappy YAOI and that's what I feel inspired Single All The Way - side note: Trixie and Katya's review of Single All The Way is one of the funniest things I've ever watched, nothing like watching two drag queens absolutely destroy queer media that was absolutely NOT written with gay men in mind)). Anyway, I mention SATW because there is a scene towards the end of the movie where two teenage girls sit the protagonist down and tell him that he's an idiot who is clearly in love with his best friend and he should go confess his love before its too late.

Look I'm sure we've all had that fantasy. I know I did when it came to Destiel for years. Nothing better than picturing myself standing in the bunker shaking Dean Winchester by the shoulders yelling at him to go kiss Castiel because goddammit that angel needs to know he's loved!

It's a great fantasy. But I DO NOT want to EVER see it played out for real in ANY media. When I realised that this was exactly what was happening in GOS2 I curled up into a ball and screamed into my hands, and not in a good way. That was... bad. Someone slap Neil on the wrist for that terrible decision. There were a dozen better ways they could have explained the AziraCrow miscommunication issue.

Having said all this, everything else about GOS2 I adored. There is criticism about the minisodes. Sure, they are totally expansions on the popularity of Season 1's episode 3 opener, and are rather self indulgent and not really connected to the main Gabriel mystery, but they are each of them an absolute blast. They dig deeper into AziraCrow's relationship and help to understand a bit more of their dynamic and the underlying issues that they have been facing for their entire friendship.

I totally understand where people may criticise the Gabriel/Beelzebub romance coming out of left field as well. It was totally unexpected and yeah, sure, Gabriel was basically the villain of season 1, so I can understand the irritation and him getting to have a happy ever after love story when he has never even apologised to Zira. But I gotta be honest, I don't really care. I thought it was hilarious and a fun twist as well as well as a much more subtle narrative mirror to AziraCrow than Maggie and Nina were. You can accuse Neil of taking that idea from fans if you want, its totally possible that he came across some ineffable beurocracy fanart and thought huh, that could be fun. But I don't care if he did, or if it did come to him completely separately to the fans. I never shipped them, but I find it hilarious in the same way I find the Dean/Crowley ship in SPN hilarious. That went canon too, much to the horror of the entire SPN fandom. NO ONE ASKED FOR DROWLEY and yet they inflicted it on us anyway... I'll never quite get over that fact.

As for Aziraphale's characterisations. I disagree with everyone who says he was out of character. I love that he's still struggling with the idea of not being part of heaven. I love that he is still dealing with the millennia of abuse and brainwashing and manipulation. I love that he still hasn't quite grasped the tyranny and institutional corruption at Heaven's heart. I found the end of season 1 to be very satisfying in a lot of ways (other than the lack of handholding in the Ritz) but when I really think about it, Season 1 really doesn't resolve Zira's issues with Heaven. He get's discorporated, decides he doesn't want to fight, goes back to Earth and then he's dealing with the apocalypse and he never actually has any communication with Heaven again after that, because it's Crowley who goes to Heaven in his place and witnesses just how cruel they are (at least Hell gave Crowley a trial).

Nothing happens at the end of season 1 that could be enough to break him away from 6000 years of cult-like indoctrination. He still puts it down to a few bad angels. He never actually talks to God, and whilst the Metatron disappoints him, its very easy to believe that Zira would change his mind after receiving a few kind words, and the promise of restoring Crowley to full angelhood.

Crowley was perfect throughout the entire season. 10/10. No notes. Absolutely utter perfection. Outstanding performance from DT, I laughed, I cried, I wept, I desperately want to hug Crowley and let him cry on my shoulder for an entire night.

Other things I adored about the season include the entirety of episode 5 The Ball. My fave episode. It was so silly and adorable and funny. The entire "Seamstress" conversation had me rolling with laughter. Shout out to Donna Preston (Our girl Despair) who absolutely stole every scene she was in. Miranda Richardson shines as Shax (an excellent choice to recast her as a new character after the butchering of Madam Tracey's character at the end of S1). I think Muriel was a bit underutilised but still loved their wide eyed innocence and naivity.

The biggest thing I think was missing was Francis McDormand's narration as God. They brought her back for episode 2 for a very minor role, I don't understand why Neil couldn't have just had God narrate it again, with more Douglas Adams crossed with Monty Python style sequences of explanation (the angels dancing on the head of a pin is one of my absolute favourite moments in all of season 1). I presume that God's narration in S1 was to ensure the books more abstract explanations got faithfully adapted, but I wish Neil could have at least tried to recreate that for S2.

Finally, the AziraCrow romance was almost exactly what I hoped for. All the way through the season they built on it and built on it, whilst also shedding light on the fundamental issues at their core. They are still so opposite even though they want nothing more than to be together. It's heartbreaking, it's shippy AF, its all romance tropes and fanservice sure - but I don't consider fanservice to be a dirty word. The kiss is heartbreaking. You can feel the desperation oozing off of Crowley in that moment. The heartbreaking cliffhanger is exactly what's needed at the end of act 2 of a 3 act structure. If we had been given the episodes week by week, i fully believe by week 6 we would have been more prepared for it, because after rewatching a few times now, its built in rather seemlessly imo. It was always gonna end that way.

When I consider everything, I can honestly say hand on heart that I preferred this season to the first. Though that's only because season 1 doesn't have enough AziraCrow in it and I'm ultimately here for them. This season was made for the AziraCrow fans, so it makes sense that I'd prefer it, whereas I suppose for book lovers and people who prefer the story of book 1 to the relationship between Az and Crow then yeah, for sure I can see why perhaps you wouldn't be too happy with this season. Perhaps Season 3 will be a better blend for all GO fans.

It was a joy. Fanservice? Yes. A bit like fanfiction? Also yes. Are either of these things bad? Not at all. It was extremely queer, fun, silly, romantic, and heartbreaking. The lack of overarching domineering plot was a good thing tbh. Some of my favourite shows focus more on character development than plot, look at WWDITS, which has never had a proper plot in a single episode of its 5 season run. Yet it is hugely successful and critically acclaimed. Half the time in Supernatural the plot was the absolute worst thing about it. You ignored the plot as much as possible and instead focused on the subtext because that's where all the fun was! So yeah, the lack of overarching plot doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I will leave it there. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, though I do wish that anyone who is particularly critical of GOS2 would please tag it as such, because now I've done my dive into the critique of it, I'd like to avoid and blacklist all such critique going forward. I want to remain in my little GOS2 happy bubble for a while longer - before I inevitably revert back into deep meta analysis of the much darker, and sometimes depressing story of The Sandman.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 review #GOS2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #neil gaiman #good omens meta #good omens meta review

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kingedmundsroyalmurder · 5 months

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Okay, lunch time on Monday, time to bang out some more Kilmeny. This chapter has the usual ableism content warning and an extra strong racism one.

First off, I want to address a point brought up by @gogandmagog, about how this book may have been a satire or a sort of deconstruction of traditional fairy tale romances. I've been thinking it over, and I can see it. It would explain the abrupt tone shift in how Eric treats Kilmeny, if Maud is making a point about how men see women they're not interested in vs. how they see women they want to marry. It's a really bleak point, but honestly I've already noticed that Maud is really unimpressed with marriage in this book and specifically how marriage reduces women. I don't know that the satire angle explains the racism and the abelism -- I think that may just be artifacts of her and the time she lived in -- but it may help a bit with Eric himself.

It's still very unpleasant to read, but it's an interesting perspective to keep in mind.

Anyway. Eric goes back to the orchard to meet Kilmeny, with the understanding that she will introduce him to her aunt and uncle. Only, plot twist, Kilmeny isn't there and it's Neil who meets him instead! Neil, who is fully out of his mind with anger.

“So you’ve come to meet her again. But she isn’t here—you’ll never see her again! I hate you—I hate you—I hate you!”

Scintillating dialog, to be sure.

Eric is, of course, cool and collected in the face of Neil's fury, because why would Eric ever be anything other than detached and superior?

“So you have been making trouble for Kilmeny, Neil, have you?” said Eric contemptuously. “I suppose you have been playing the spy. And I suppose that you have told her uncle and aunt that she has been meeting me here. Well, you have saved me the trouble of doing it, that is all. I was going to tell them myself, tonight. I don’t know what your motive in doing this has been. Was it jealousy of me? Or have you done it out of malice to Kilmeny?”

His contempt cowed Neil more effectually than any display of anger could have done.

The problem with this book... okay, a problem with this book is that, as I think @no-where-new-hero said, LMM doesn't seem to know what to do with her protagonist. He doesn't really have any character traits, he doesn't have any interests, he doesn't really have a personality beyond, like, bored and detached and superior. So when he takes this turn into the monstrous, we have nothing to balance it out. Eric doesn't play music or enjoy gardening or even show an interest in arguing theology. Everything he does -- except visit Kilmeny -- he does out of social obligation. He didn't even go to school because he wanted to, he did it to please his dad. His one thing he actually does because he actually wants to is his relationship with Kilmeny, and now that he is being dreadful to her, there's nothing left. You just go from 'this man is a bit insufferable, isn't he?' to 'wow, I want you dead in a ditch!' with no in between.

Which is a very long-winded way of saying, I hate Eric now and I want him dead in a ditch! And his being smugly superior to Neil -- who is also behaving dreadfully, just to be clear -- is doing nothing to endear him to me.

“She will meet me in her own home then,” said Eric sternly. “Neil, in behaving as you have done you have shown yourself to be a very foolish, undisciplined boy. I am going straightway to Kilmeny’s uncle and aunt to explain everything.”

Neil sprang forward in his path.

“No—no—go away,” he implored wildly. “Oh, sir—oh, Mr. Marshall, please go away. I’ll do anything for you if you will. I love Kilmeny. I’ve loved her all my life. I’d give my life for her. I can’t have you coming here to steal her from me. If you do—I’ll kill you! I wanted to kill you last night when I saw you kiss her. Oh, yes, I saw you. I was watching—spying, if you like. I don’t care what you call it. I had followed her—I suspected something. She was so different—so changed. She never would wear the flowers I picked for her any more. She seemed to forget I was there. I knew something had come between us. And it was you, curse you! Oh, I’ll make you sorry for it.”

We have fully lost control of the craft of storytelling here. This wild shifting in moods might work, if this wasn't the first time we'd ever spoken to Neil on page. There's 'oh, he has an explosive temper', but going from 'oh, I implore you!' to 'I'll fucking kill you!' in a single paragraph needs more setup than just that.

"He was working himself up into a fury again—the untamed fury of the Italian peasant thwarted in his heart’s desire. It overrode all the restraint of his training and environment. Eric, amid all his anger and annoyance, felt a thrill of pity for him. Neil Gordon was only a boy still; and he was miserable and beside himself."

1- Neil Gordon is 22. Eric himself is only 24. Cool it with your whole, 'oh, he's only a kid!' headpatting.

2- Blood. Will. Out. This is the most strongly established theme in the book at this point.

"Eric, not a little ruffled under all his external composure by this most unexpected and unpleasant encounter, pursued his way along the lane which wound on by the belt of woodland in twist and curve to the Gordon homestead. His heart beat as he thought of Kilmeny. What might she not be suffering? Doubtless Neil had given a very exaggerated and distorted account of what he had seen, and probably her dour relations were very angry with her, poor child. Anxious to avert their wrath as soon as might be, he hurried on, almost forgetting his meeting with Neil. The threats of the latter did not trouble him at all. He thought the angry outburst of a jealous boy mattered but little. What did matter was that Kilmeny was in trouble which his heedlessness had brought upon her."

I am going to very begrudgingly give him a point for actually considering and prioritizing Kilmeny's feelings. He is assuming that he knows what they are, but we've been given enough details thus far that he's probably correct -- Kilmeny clearly did want to keep seeing him, and she probably is quite unhappy about what is happening.

"Presently he found himself before the Gordon house. It was an old building with sharp eaves and dormer windows, its shingles stained a dark gray by long exposure to wind and weather. Faded green shutters hung on the windows of the lower story. Behind it grew a thick wood of spruces. The little yard in front of it was grassy and prim and flowerless; but over the low front door a luxuriant early-flowering rose vine clambered, in a riot of blood-red blossom which contrasted strangely with the general bareness of its surroundings. It seemed to fling itself over the grim old house as if intent on bombarding it with an alien life and joyousness."

There hasn't been a lot of house symbolism in this book, but shall we assume that Kilmeny is the rosebush, the only point of light and beauty in her family?

"The pictured face was a very handsome one, suggestive of velvety dark eyes and vivid colouring; but it was its expression rather than its beauty which fascinated Eric. Never had he seen a countenance indicative of more intense and stubborn will power. Margaret Gordon was dead and buried; the picture was a cheap and inartistic production in an impossible frame of gilt and plush; yet the vitality in that face dominated its surroundings still. What then must have been the power of such a personality in life?"

Margaret Gordon: definitely a witch.

So Eric lays out his case to the Gordons, which is that he met Kilmeny on accident and befriended her, but belated realized that he should tell her grownups about it and so has come to formally ask their permission to continue seeing Kilmeny. Thomas Gordon then says this, and I roll my eyes out of their sockets and into space:

“I don’t need to do that,” said Thomas Gordon, quietly. “I know more of you than you think, Master. I know your father well by reputation and I have seen him. I know you are a rich man’s son, whatever your whim in teaching a country school may be. Since you have kept your own counsel about your affairs I supposed you didn’t want your true position generally known, and so I have held my tongue about you. I know no ill of you, Master, and I think none, now that I believe you were not beguiling Kilmeny to meet you unknown to her friends of set purpose. But all this doesn’t make you a suitable friend for her, sir—it makes you all the more unsuitable. The less she sees of you the better.”

Of course they like him instantly. Of course they do.

And, of course, the reason they think he shouldn't see Kilmeny is the same reason Mrs. Williamson thought he shouldn't. She is young and sheltered and might fall in love with him and be heartbroken, because of course he couldn't mary Kilmeny, she's mute!

Honestly this story would have almost been more interesting if Kilmeny had been ugly. Not that 'oh, you can't marry her, she's ugly!' is any better, but it would require some actual character growth from Eric. Because -- and again, I hate to give this man any credit -- he isn't saying, 'oh, I trust she can be cured so it's fine.' He would like her to be able to speak, but he is fully prepared to marry her even if she remains mute her entire life. As of currently, he seems to see Kilmeny's disability in the same way she sees it: a little inconvenient and mildly unfortunate, but not, like, an insurmountable problem.

"Janet Gordon had hitherto spoken no word. She had sat rigidly upright on one of the old chairs under Margaret Gordon’s insistent picture, with her knotted, toil-worn hands grasping the carved arms tightly, and her eyes fastened on Eric’s face. At first their expression had been guarded and hostile, but as the conversation proceeded they lost this gradually and became almost kindly. Now, when her brother appealed to her, she leaned forward and said eagerly,

“Do you know that there is a stain on Kilmeny’s birth, Master?”

Janet Gordon: also a witch? Definitely a woman who would enjoy a true crime podcast in this the year 2023.

So the Gordons give Eric permission to court Kilmeny, because of course they do. The problem with having a protagonist that everyone loves is that you can't then set up, 'but someone will be mad at them!' as a conflict and have it land. The Gordons were set up as mini-bosses, as it were, but Eric didn't do anything to get on their good side. He just showed up and they went, 'welp, we like you now, if you're sure you want to marry Kilmeny despite her disability and her parantage, then you have our blessing.' It's just a really unsatisfying narrative.

Luckily for me, any good feeling I might have had towards Eric for his being almost decent about Kilmeny's disability vanishes when he gets to see her again and is immediately condescending!

"She did not tell him how glad she was, and how unhappy she had been over the thought that she was never to see him again. Yesterday she would have told him all frankly and fully; but for her yesterday was a lifetime away—a lifetime in which she had come into her heritage of womanly dignity and reserve. The kiss which Eric had left on her lips, the words her uncle and aunt had said to her, the tears she had shed for the first time on a sleepless pillow—all had conspired to reveal her to herself. She did not yet dream that she loved Eric Marshall, or that he loved her. But she was no longer the child to be made a dear comrade of. She was, though quite unconsciously, the woman to be wooed and won, exacting, with sweet, innate pride, her dues of allegiance."

Thesis: Wives and Friends are two different species of women. Friends may be spoken to as equals and confided in and allowed their own way. Wives are meek and demure and do not make eye contact and submit sweetly to your every whim.

I think perhaps Lucy Maud Montgomery was not very excited to get married.

#kilmeny of the orchard #kilmeny readalong #I think more than anything this book is ruined by being badly written #Any social commentary or genuine feeling gets fully lost

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