I’m reading the Throne of Glass series because I didn’t want to miss out on any possible connections to the third Crescent City book that’s coming out soon and I am overwhelmed.

It feels like I’ve given myself a gigantic many-thousand page homework assignment, but also it’s my favorite series I’ve read, maybe ever?

And I just finished Queen of Shadows and I want to crawl all over social media to look at the fan art, but I don’t want any more spoilers. I already know most of the ships through ACOTAR fandom spillover but the plot has remained unspoiled so far. Like, I know what characters fall in love, but not like, anything that happens.

And I have THOUGHTS about when one should read Assassin’s Blade (absolutely not first) and I’ve heard some people prefer a TANDEM READ (?!) of Empire of Storms and Tower of Dawn, like what even is this series? Help, I have so many pages left still and I have no idea what will happen.

legend of vox machina episode 3: the feast of realms OR mercy machine broken

this is my THIRD time watching this, first w/mala right before the stream last night and then on my tv this morning bc I Could and now for this

the moment I realized what this was I just started going "oh. oh no. oh NO."

ptsd dreams really do be like this

also what kind of bloodborne-ass outfits

mask: happen me: I don't LIKE IT

"bad dream?" "is there any other kind?" while INCREDIBLY emo also means this is pretty much the only dream percy ever has, no wonder he never sleeps

the run-down old keep they were given vs grayskull being built for them

idk, something something thematically appropriate

PIGEONS

"seven to two" grog can only count when it's funny

percy in a shirt and vest is v nice

"maybe you should cut loose once in a while" remember you said that vex

I love vex's "oh shit, that's tonight"

see I didn't like scanlan going after pike in the stream so much bc he was so Scanlan about it but with the benefit of hindsight and character development him ONLY knowing how to Be Scanlan About It and that just not working on pike is much more fun to watch

percy: I swear I won't let them nutcheck a diplomat

(edit from the future: oops)

travis had way too much fun with grog's sobbing

so glad we got to work sam's live show costumes in

(grog's getup just makes me think of the wedding oneshot - "this is the most clothes I've ever worn in my life!")

vax probably having had pRoToCol drilled into him when they were living in syngorn and actively refusing to utilize any of it out of spite

(percy teaching them all things he started learning when he was in diapers and unconsciously imitatng his parents, only realizing what he said the moment after he said it and struggling not to visibly react)

all of the Elf Matts are the same character. he has 5 jobs bc the emon economy (emonomy) is in shambles.

his name is still matt but now it's short for matt'hew

kraghammer reference!!

I enjoy scanlan's eyeshadow

"or, y'know, do whatever" I don't know what you expected

"doofus."

I know the side-by-sides of this and taliesin the first time the name was said on-stream already exist but GOD the fisheye lens is the perfect representation of that

....was this on purpose. did they do this as a little "tee-hee giggle foreshadowing no one will ever see" moment or did I just pause in EXACTLY the right place

him instinctively going for his gun

making a safeword makes NO SENSE here bc they don't have the earrings but they couldn't not address "jenga"

like what was vax gonna do, scream it down the stairs (probably)

this is how I pictured allura all the time, with the one big braid and the cape and shit

I started re-watching the briarwoods arc in like october and I STILL forgot percy was disguised as vax. but they also took out vax's immediately-discarded plan with assum and also moved when percy told them everything, so it wouldn't have made sense

also percy just sitting across from them SEETHING for the whole meal, forgetting his manners (ha) even though he's the one who pestered everyone else about them so much

honestly it's probably only due to pRoToCoL that he didn't just jump over the table and start trying to choke delilah out with his bare hands

percy's little eye twitch

pike you have the worst stealth rolls in the game, why did you think that would work

(mala: that never stopped her from trying!)

(also I want whatever they're eating)

"walk over to the briarwoods, say hello to break the ice, and then punch them in the face"

love seeing vax's stealth actually in action

SIMON

he has an EYEPATCH

am I starving or does that steak look fucking AMAZING

I know he's charming uriel but please imagine what this looks like without context

just sensually stroking the king's hand all "haha nooo don't send troops to whitestone ur so sexy"

still absolutely baffled by the decision to include the twins' surname on the posters when they have not once used it in the show. and like yes it's only episode 3 but if vex was ever gonna leverage it I'd imagine it would be here? make it clear she Knows Somebody so delilah can't shrug her off without risking actual consequences?

fully believe the "beads" conversation is based on something that actually happened between sam and marisha

...keyleth would ONLY know what anal beads are because of scanlan, wouldn't she

NO vax you take everything out NEATLY so you can put it back without it being obvious it was moved

I want a pop-up altar >:(

ha, residuum d20 on the side table

...and what I assume have to be eyeballs

percy you were being baited :(

grog and pike holding onto percy :(

YES percy finally got the anime eyeshine he deserved BUT it just looked like they used the fill tool on his glasses

the only thing I would add here would maybe be a couple of flashes of the dream from the beginning of the episode, just to tie what he's saying more firmly to his night terrors. a pause to give the "murdered my entire family" slightly more punch.

stop staring at the firEPLACE VAX

something something parallels between vax and percy instinctively reaching for their weapons

"gosh you guys are good-looking"

I know it was a desperation move but I don't know why even in a panic vax thought he could barrel past sylas. look at him.

"plus he's got the squirts!"

according to the cast live-tweets sam dropped these songs on them completely unprepared. just showed up in the booth with them.

I've said this in like two other places but matt took sylas as his main role so he wouldn't have to give up flirting with liam

I know twinsense is an overplpayed trope but. twinsense.

pike just throwing grog at every problem they have in this episode

"C'MERE FUCKSTICK"

would also have loved vax's "keyleth, beautiful under the trees" death vision but it really would have felt out of place without 100+ hours of buildup lmao

keyleth getting punched out of wildshape was really smoothly animated

percy unjamming his gun in the background while vex shoots at delilah

"NO ONE KILLS VAX BUT ME" we love a pair of besties

"thanks, pickle" lays in the floor and cries

vax and pike are one of my favorite dynamics, so glad there'll be more chances for it

percy: [shoots silas in the shoulder] grog: :D sylas: [heals] grog: D:

BACON EDGE

'cause all craven edge ever has to do is death of a thousand cuts, even a little blood makes it embiggen

oh the mood whiplash

enjoy this way of showing a concentration spell

(I do not know what this would be, though. bless? is bless concentration? it's been 84 years)

keyleth's Panic Vines

desmond didn't deserve that. or anything that's about to happen to him.

"come visit sometime, percy! you're always welcome back home~" GOD she's such a BITCH

this is presumably the first time percy has truly *yelled* at any of them - been short-tempered and cranky and insufferable maybe, but not the way he is here, and definitely not at keyleth, and ESPECIALLY not for saving his life

a little bit orthax, a little bit trauma

also: pike :(

GOD whatever taliesin is doing with his voice here I am INTO

going from that bottomed-out bass when he spots desmond to panicky, cracking and breaking, back to the reverb bass when orthax takes over

also you just HAD THE MASK ON YOU

(would have dug a scene of him like. seeing the mask and hesitating before picking it up as they were leaving)

the orthax shadow!!

YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT

aaaand pusheen-level whiplash going into the credits

are they gonna release a scanlan-only album. they could. whether or not they SHOULD is another question but they totally COULD.

[Loser has to cosplay] Competition with Pio House! Betting our pride on this cooking battle! [MxH Channel]

I don’t think I’ve ever posted translations on here but here we go I guess. This is a translation of part of the Otomate 2021 April’s Fools event where characters from several games function as streamers/content creators for a video streaming site and basically fun AU just things. This one is basically a made-up collaboration between characters from the games Piofiore and Lover Pretend. (if you find any mistakes in the translation or typos please feel free to message me and point them out so i can correct them!)

Harumi: "H-Hello.  I'm the one responsible for Cosplay tutorials at the Manken x Henshin Channel. In this video I'm working alongside my colleague Kazuma, who's responsible for Hair and Makeup tutorials in our channel. Usually we do cosplay & hair and makeup styling tutorials aimed towards beginners together on our channel."

Kazuma: "Hey-ho! I'm Kazuma! Ah as always Haru-san forgot to introduce himself while doing the introduction. Today we have some super amazing guests who are gracing us with their presence!!"

Harumi: "Yes, today we are working together with Pio House's Gilbert and Yang.. if you would like to..."

Gil: "Oi, Yang, Introduce yourself."

Yang: *huffs*

Gil: "Geez. Yo, everyone watching MxH Channel. My name is Gilbert. The one huffing and puffing over there is Yang. Let's have fun together today."

Harumi: "L-L-L-Let's work hard together. Usually Pio House does Mukbang videos and eh? Disputes..?...As-Assasination........?"

Kazuma: "Yep! They usually do Food-related videos so today we are doing this~!"

Title Card: Cooking Competition

Kazuma: "Super easy to understand right? Buuuut, a normal cooking competition would be super boring so we are letting these boxes decide what we are making today!"

Three boxes "Theme", "Dish", "Cooking Person"

Kazuma: "They are gonna decide the Theme and... uh..."

Harumi: "Theme, Dish and Cook."

Kazuma: "Yes! That! In there are cards with said words on them. So we pull one card out of each box to decide who's gonna make what."

Gil: "I see, this competition is quite luck based, isn't it?"

Harumi: "Yes. At the end everyone here is going to have a taste test and we will vote on which dish is going to win. And... whoever loses is going to have to face a punishment game!"

Yang: ".....Punishment Game?"

Harumi: *shreeks*

Kazuma: "You're just gonna have to watch to find out! A Hint: It's related to what we do on this channel. You know, that thing~"

Harumi: "It's already kind of been shown but whatever"

Yukito: "Well then! Kaaay~ everyone pay attention now~ I'll be directing stuff from here on out~"

Kazuma: "Ha! Aren't you that certain ikemen model that appears on here quite frequently? Is it okay for you to show your face just like that?"

Yukito: "Oh, well, today is a special video so it's fine right?"

Harumi: "Ehh?? Is it okay to be that sloppy about it?"

Yukito: "I asked my manager so it's fiiiiine~ Well let's check the boxes and see who's gonna do what!"

Harumi: "Geez, ultimately you're still doing this really half-minded."

~Wait a moment please~

Yukito: "Done! The result of the card draw is this~!"

Harumi: "Eh? M-Me?"

Kazuma: "Do your best, Haru-san! If you try hard you can do it!"

Yang: "Who came up with these topics...?"

Gil: "Oi, calm down, Yang! This is alright, isn't it? Even if you can't make a fancy hot pot it will serve as good content for the video!"

Yang: "...Alright, I'll show you how to do it."

~Cooking Time~

Gil: "Woah."

Kazuma: "Aaaaa Haru-san, you have to season it, too!"

Gil: "Who's going to eat that?"

Kazuma: "Ah! Ah!"

~Cooking done~

Yukito: "First, let's start with MxH Channel's dish!"

Harumi: "Y-Yes! I tried to do my best!"

Kazuma: "T-This is! Yes this really looks like you did your best! Barely can't believe you tried this for the first time!"

Yukito: "Well, this certainly has a super cute feel to it, but how did the cooking aspect turn out? First of all, is it even deep fried...?"

Harumi: "You don't have to point it out like that..."

Yukito: "Oh well, let's look at what Pioz House came up with!"

 Yang: "I made Mala Hot Pot."

Gil: "It's super red ???"

Yang: "Are you happy, Redford? Red is a colour that makes your neighbourhood shine, isn't it?"

Gil: "But it isn't a colour you should find in cooking... Also, is this really something humans can eat?? My eyes already hurt from standing next to it."

Yukito: "And where did the fancy aspect go??"

Yang: "It's Hot Pot so it's fancy right? If you put something in a pot it's immediately fancy."

Gil: "What kind of master of ridiculous logic are you?? You idiot.."

Kazuma: "Eh? I don't get it? How is it fancy?"

Yukito: "Nono there is definitely no master to be found here."

Harumi: "Well it's okay isn't it! Compared to what I made."

Yukito: "Now that you say it, we still have to do the taste test! Well, both look like they aren't safe to eat... and I have a photoshoot tomorrow so an upset stomach wouldn't work for me, please excuse me."

Kazuma: "I have work tomorrow morning.. if i even touch on the topic of taking off work I swear my senpai is going to kill me."

Yukito: "Looking at the food it looks like it's gonna be a draw anyway because both look absolutely indigestible! So be good boys and both do the punishment game~!"

Yang: "Huh...?  Don't you think it's cowardly to suddenly change the rules at the end?"

Gil: "Well you both completely missed the topic and failed so it's a fair loss.."

Yukito: "Anyway the punishment game is gonna be doing cosplay and doing a photoshoot for the thumbnail of this video!"

Kazuma: "The cosplay is gonna be decided by card draw again! Pick whatever card speaks to you!"

Harumi: "Haa, I guess I was kind of already expecting it while cooking..."

Yang: "How idiotic. Not like I have to draw a card."

Gil: "Well, then I'm gonna draw for you! The 2nd one from the right!"

Yang: "....Ha?"

Kazuma: "Thanks Mr. Gilbert! Ehh 2nd card from the left iiis..."

~Please wait a moment~

Yukito: huffing and puffing "We finally somehow managed to get both of them changed..."

Kazuma: "I did the makeup of course. I thought i was gonna be killed for sure while doing it, but I was brave and went through with it completely anyway!"

Gil: "Oh? I'm looking forward to the result."

Yukito: "Now, now, you two, come out!"

Yang: "................................................."

Harumi: "Mr. Yang... please... maybe you can smile a bit?"

Yang: "Huh?"

Gil: "Woaaah, almost looks like you came out of a dreamworld."

Yukito: "Looks good you two! Mr. Yang, could you lean a bit more to the side? Oh and Haru can you twist your arm a little more? Yes, like that!"

Kazuma: "This turned out to be a masterpiece! This is gonna be the raddest thumbnail!"

Yang: "I've had enough."

Harumi: "Eh? You're leaving already?? We still have to take individual pictures, too-"

Gil: "I'm moved, Yang! You endured this really well for once."

Yang: "..............................."

Gil: "Well then, thanks for having us. It was fun! We're gonna leave before Yang explodes, sorry for making you clean up!" 

Kazuma: "Eh? Did they really just leave just like that?"

Harumi: "Ah... but it suited him really well... and i even crossdressed this prettily..."

Yukito: "Oh well, don't cry, Harumi-chan. You're gonna ruin your cute face."

Kazuma: "Yukito, are you really gonna flirt with anyone who looks like a girl?"

Yukito: "Huh? But Harumi-chan is always cute."

Harumi: "As if hearing you say that would make me happy!"

Kazuma: "Well seeing that those two already left, let's say our closing words for this one!"

Harumi: "*whining noises* If you think this video was funny please leave a like!"

Kazuma: "And don't forget to subscribe to our channels!"

A Christmas Gift: Part 1

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 5,050

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What about him?” Steve asked as he and his friends stood outside an empty U-Haul in New Jersey, waiting to find the perfect person for their next YouTube video. Tony shook his head as he scanned the lot full of early Christmas shoppers, locating a woman a few spots down and a row over that was looking between three or four different pieces of paper and a cell phone that had a kids pink unicorn sticker upside down and sideways on the back in a rust covered car.

“Them?” Sam asked as he gestured to a couple coming down the row they were in, but Tony shook his head as he glanced at an older model car seat in the back.

“Her.” He said simply as he gestured to you as you wiped tears off your face and ran your fingers through your hair to hold your slowly shaking head. “I know that look. I know that desperation… She’s the one.”

“I’ll go talk to her.” Bucky said as he put out his cigarette and took one of Tony’s YouTube channel cards from his ‘boss’.

“I’m coming, too.” Tony said as he pushed off the side of the truck and headed over with Bucky, who was usually responsible for the main camera work since he wasn’t a fan of being in front of it. You startled and looked over at the two men when they knocked before cranking down your window with a shake of your head. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not leaving yet…”

“No, we’re looking to help you.” Bucky said gently as he leaned on the hood of your car to see you while Tony crouched down beside the window.

“Who you shopping for, sweetheart?” He asked softly.

“My daughter.” You sighed as you shook your head and glanced at her wish list. “Lord, my little girl, and her big hopes and dreams.” You looked back over at him and shook your head as you showed them the list. “She’s trying to bankrupt me asking for a pony, and an iPad, and cell phone, and some fancy expensive doll… And she’s only four, so I’m in for a world of hurt from here.”

“Just her?” Tony clarified, which made you startle the slightest bit.

“Just… her. I’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”

“Tony.” He laughed as he took the business card from Bucky and handed it to you. “Tony Stark. I’m a YouTuber. My camera guy, Bucky.”

“OK…”

“We’re shooting a video today, and we want to make someone’s Christmas a little more special, and you are that person.”

“Wait… what?!”

“But here’s the problem. Target never lets us film in their store long without kicking us out, and… well I rented this U Haul and while we could shop in Wal Mart, I don’t think it’s gunna fill that truck, and that’s what I need to do. So I think we’re gunna have to take it into the city.”

“Oh, no.” You said with a shake of your head. “No, I can’t let you do that. I can get a few things…”

“And I feel the need to be Santa Claus today.” He interrupted. “Please? I can’t promise a pony, but I can promise to make this Christmas a special one for your daughter. So, as long as you don’t mind, Bucky’s going to ride with you so your parking in the city, and your gas there and back is paid for, and he can get some back ground information so we know where we’re going once we’re there.”

“And so we know you actually go to the city so we’re not just standing around waiting.” Bucky laughed. You sighed and shook your head as you set the list down on your lap.

“You really don’t have to do this.”

“We know.” You looked between the two of them and over at the U Haul with a shake of your head.

“I’m not gunna end up a statistic on the five o’clock news, right?”

“No, we promise.” Bucky said. “I keep telling him we need to approach these videos a little different, but no one listens to the camera man.” You smiled and nodded your head as you started to clear off your passenger seat.

“OK, fine. But I will put up a fight. And I have to make a stop first if I’m leaving Jersey. I have to pick up a few things for my side job and that store will close before we get back.”

“Alright, we’ll follow you.” Tony said as he stood up and gestured for his friend to get in. “Don’t go kidnapping my camera man, you hear?”

“Pretty sure I should be the one concerned with that.” You laughed as you moved your purse and papers off the seat beside you, and put your seatbelt on. “Just know, I have pepper spray.”

“Oh, I would so prefer if you keep that exactly where it is, and not spray it anywhere near me.“ Bucky requested as he got into your little five speed rust bucket and moved the seat back so his long legs would fit. “I’ve been sprayed with pepper spray by my ex, who is the solid definition of crazy, and it’s not pleasant. Wait for this SUV.” You nodded and slowed down on the other side of the white vehicle, while Bucky pulled an old, bent notebook out of his pocket. “OK first, your name?”

“(Y/N).” He nodded and wrote out your name, repeating it back to you in one long, monotone note that made you smile. 

“OK, and baby girl’s name and age.”

“Anna Lee. And she is four going on sixteen.”

“Anna Lee.” He said with a nod and a glance over at you. “I like that. Is it a family name?”

“No, it’s from a song, actually. Ever heard of The Band?”

“Which band?”

“No, the band is called, The Band. Here, listen.” He nodded and look ever at you as you grabbed a mix CD from the visor and put it in the player. You skipped to the track you were looking for as you pulled into the next shopping mall parking lot. “Please don’t steal my car, I’ll be right back.”

“Nope, I wanna see, too.” He said as he unbuckled and glanced over at the SUV that pulled in beside you. “What is this place?”

“It’s a crystal store.” You said as you grabbed your purse and a reusable shopping bag. “I make jewelry when Anna Lee goes to bed. Mala beads, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and earrings. I make candles, too. And usually I sell them here.”

“Namaste!” Your best friend, Wanda called out before glancing over her shoulder to see who it was. “Oooo girl! Who is this… why do you have a camera crew?”

“Wrong place, wrong time, apparently.” You sighed as you kissed Wanda’s cheek. “I’ll explain later. I need two things. One, I need to pick up my stuff, and two, I need you to relieve the baby sitter when you close because I’ll apparently be in the city until God only knows.”

“Wait, what is going on?” She asked as two of Tony’s guys flirted with Natasha, the woman that worked at the register.

“Some YouTube thing.” You said with a swipe of your hand. “Can you pick up Annie?”

“I can pick up Annie.” She said with a nod as she gestured for you to follow her to the back room. “Just don’t be gone all night, galavanting in the city. And you better check in every half hour so I don’t have to obsess over thoughts that you are dead on the side of the road or sold into sex slavery or something.”

“I highly doubt that these guys are going to sell me into sex slavery.” You huffed as you peeked into the large box with your name on it. “Please tell me you found the rhodochrosite beads.”

“Girl, who do you think I am?!” She laughed as she pulled open the top. “The list of holiday requests…”

“Oh, damn it.” You sighed as you glanced at the list of products she had sold in her store that she needed wire wrapped. “I’m never going to sleep again.”

“I’m sorry, hunny. I can still come over and help…”

“No, it’s fine.” You sighed as you put the beads in your hand back in the box and the list on top of it. “I’ll do it. I’ve done it every other year, I’ll do it again this year.”

“That’a girl.” She cheered as you picked up the box with a grunt.

“I’ll see you tonight. Bring the invoice and… fuck it, take her to McDonalds. Just leave the receipt on the table and I’ll pay you tonight, love.” She nodded and agreed as she held open the back door to help you. You said good bye to her and Natasha and smiled at one of Tony’s guys who was holding open the main door for you. Bucky grabbed the trunk for you and took the box from your hands, distracting you from the large bag one of the guys was carrying out of the store. You headed back around to the drivers side with a heavy sigh and sat back in your chair.

“OK, so let’s get back to Anna Lee. Just follow the SUV.” Bucky said as he got back in your car and pulled out his notebook again.

“OK, do you know how much I hate all of this?” You asked as you looked through your papers to pull Annie’s list out of your bank statements.

“OK, I’m guessing this is pony.”

“The first one? Yea, that’s pony.” You laughed as you glanced over at the list. “Then iPad and iPhone are next, then coloring books, and new crayons. Then what’s the next one?”

“Name? Nama? Maybe…”

“Nanea.” You laughed. “She’s the cute, Hawaiian, 1940’s, Junior Citizens Service Corps American Girl doll out of the catalog that my lovely mother signed me up for that I can’t seem to unsubscribe from since Annie has fallin’ in love with these hundred dollar dolls… I was going to try to pass the Target version off but I know that wouldn’t work.”

“So iPad and American girl.” Bucky said as he texted Steve the first two things. “What’s this last thing?”

“A man friend for mommy.” You sighed as you reached out and took the list from him. “Was on the list last year, and it’s what she’s wished for the last two birthdays. My little girl.” You sighed as you looked at the list at a red light. “I don’t deserve her.”

“She sounds like an angel.”

“She is.” You said as you carefully folded the list back up to put in her baby book with the year before’s. “Sweetest, most patient kid ever. She comes to work so I can keep my costs down, and she just sits with her toy of the day or a coloring book on the bus and plays quietly, or sits in the doorway of the room I’m cleaning and watches her show or a movie on my phone, or reads her books. For a four year old, she is an absolute gift from God.”

“What else does she like?”

“She loves to read, and practice her counting, numbers, and letters, and she’s pretty advanced for her age, which is nice. She loves Disney, and her massive collection of stuffed animals. She likes playing with the Legos my mom gave her from when I was a child, which is about as motherly as my mother can be toward her only grandchild because God forbid her daughter have a daughter out of wedlock… Do you smoke?” You looked over at him as he continued to write, but he nodded his head and leaned back to grab his cigarettes.

“Bad habit.” He said as he held out his back to you before you could open the one you secretly kept in your door.

“You’re telling me.” You agreed as you took his lighter from him and lit your cigarette. “I don’t smoke much other than one with my coffee, one after I drop my school bus off in the morning and in the afternoon, and one after I tuck Annie in. And every once in a blue moon when I’m running errands without her, I have one.”

“Yea, I wish I could live off five a day.” Bucky said as you both cranked open your windows a crack. “My friends are all idiots that stress me out and I don’t need that kinda stress in my life. Already got enough. So I smoke.”

“What’s your stress from? Bad girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend, but we’re not here to talk about me, we’re here to talk about you.” You huffed and stuck your tongue out at him. “What else does she like?” You sighed and shrugged.

“She colors a lot. Not a fan of being outside but that’s probably because I live in a bad neighborhood. She plays games on my phone. She likes Mommy’s crystals. I don’t know, she’s just a regular kid.”

“And what about you?” Bucky asked as he pulled out his phone and took pictures of his notes to pass along to Steve. 

“What about me?”

“What do you like to do?” You scoffed around your smoke and shook your head at him.

“I lost the ability to do anything for myself when I got pregnant.” You told him with a glance over at him. “Every dime I have goes to that little girl. She gets all the new clothes, all the new  toys, all the new games. She wants Frozen shaped Mac’n’Cheese or name brand Gushers, she’s gunna get it, and I’m going to survive with holes in my bra straps another day because they still work to pay for her to have her snack. I work three jobs for her, from way before sun up to way after sun down and live in the smallest apartment known to man kind because the rent was cheap. She is my world. 

So my interest right now include mermaids, and fairies, and unicorns. And my days off are spent in a kiddy pool on my pathetic excuse for a patio playing mermaids, or playing tea party and dress up, or watching Doc McStuffins for the hundredth time because Annie wants to be a doctor right now. Either that or a mermaid or a crystal witch hippie like me. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because she is my little girl.” Bucky studied the side of your face as you took the last drag of your cigarette and tossed the butt out the window. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“What about her father? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Prison. Found out I was pregnant, and he went into a bank, pretended to rob it, and shot a man that worked there just so he didn’t have to pay child support. Jokes on him.” You said with a smirk as you looked over at him. “He still has to pay in federal lock up. Unless he pulls whatever kind of stunt he’s pulling now so that he’s in solitary and not working to make sure his support doesn’t go through to try and ruin Christmas and her birthday like he has since she was born. Asshole.”

“God, you just have your work cut out for you, don’t you?” You nodded your head and glanced down as your mix CD started over, reminding you about your daughter. 

“This is how I came up with Anna Lee.” You said as you found the track again and turned it up so he wouldn’t ask anymore questions about you on the drive. As he listened, Bucky pulled out his phone to text Tony directly to let him know that he had picked the right person for his Christmas video give away. He relayed everything you had told him, picking out even more details about your daughter than you had given originally, and about your lifestyle. Because the video wasn’t just about making Christmas for a kid, it was about making Christmas special for an entire family. 

“I’m from Nazareth.” You said at the end of the song as you slowed to pay the toll. You glanced over at him as Bucky handed you a twenty, and continued. “Pennsylvania. My parents still live there. I get my love of 60’s music from my dad. The Band was one of his favorites. I knew when I was a child that if I had a little girl, she’d be named Anna Lee because of that line of someone staying to keep Anna Lee company. Just didn’t know as a kid what that meant, but I still fell in love with the name all the same.”

“It’s a beautiful name.” Bucky said as he took his change back from you. “Not one you hear every day.”

“I like that about it, too.”

“Just stay behind the SUV. You don’t have to wait for the U Haul.” You nodded and changed gears to speed up to keep up with the other driver. Driving through the busy streets always made you a little nervous, and the Christmas crowd made that even worse, but thankfully, you didn’t have far to go before you were parking in an above ground lot behind the SUV and next to an empty double spot the U Haul was able to fit in.

“We’ve had these spots reserved for a week.” Your passenger said to you before you even asked the question. “So, we need you to have Anna Lee’s list in hand.” You nodded your head and pulled out the list that would go in a baby box in your closet for her after today. You got out after him and locked the doors, while the little group collected behind the U Haul to introduce themselves and go over the game plan they had been making.

“So this is how it’s going to play out.” Tony said as he showed you a walking map on his phone with pins in places you were going to go. “We’re going to go in a giant circle. But most of us are not going to come back after each trip. We have fold up carts that we’ll put the bags in, and then Clint, and Bruce will run it all back to the U Haul where Scott will be hanging out, keeping an eye on it, since we’re going to be spending a lot of money and people are extra sticky fingered around the holidays.”

“OK.” You said as you glanced over at Bucky as he held out a mic pack for you.

“Needs to clip to your collar on the inside or on your jacket if you don’t plan on taking it off, line goes under your shirt, and the battery fits in your back pocket or it can clip to the back of your jeans.” You nodded your head and turned around to feed the mic up your shirt to your collar as Tony continued.

“Now, I usually do this ‘anonymously’ by supposedly grabbing people off the street, but I have to have people consent to being filmed on film for legal reasons before I can even begin, and I need them to be mic-ed up for that. Which is what we’re doing here. But once that’s done, what we’re gunna have you do is walk about half way down the block while I do my intro. And Bruce will give you the signal to walk toward me. When you pass me, be looking at Anna Lee’s list, and act startled when I get your attention. I may jump in front of you, I may grab your arm. It kinda just happens. And I apologize in advance. Just please don’t scream. It draws a lot of attention and it doesn’t look good.”

“I won’t scream.” You giggled with a shake of your head as you got Annie’s list out. 

“Perfect. Now, I need you to confirm to the camera that you are OK with being on camera, in those words. Not just yes or OK, or sure…”

“I am OK with being filmed for Tony Stark’s YouTube channel and his Christmas video. No matter how much I oppose having money spent on me…”

“OK, that’s not what I wanted.” Tony laughed as Bucky smirked at you behind his camera. “But it will work. Now, one last thing. Some stores have an issue with our bigger camera, but I have Wade, our unofficial, smooth talking, ’legal guy’ that talks to managers. Try to stay close, and keep your back more to walls so that other people are not on camera. And if the big camera gets kicked out, we switch to much more subtle little ones. Just so you know what’s going on. And we’re starting with the American Girl store.”

“We also film everything and do a lot of editing so don’t worry about swearing or having to redo takes.” Bucky said as he leaned the camera away from his face a bit. “And I’ll let you know if there’s audio issues so don’t worry about the microphone and the cord.”

“Alright, we ready?” Steve asked as he clipped his mic pack to his belt. You nodded and took a deep breath as you purposely unwrapped your scarf to keep it away from the mic and followed the group down to the street. With Annie’s list in hand, you did what you were told and walked down the block to wait for the signal. You knew what was coming but your hands still shook.

“Stupid.” You mumbled when Bruce gave you the signal. You took a deep breath and carefully stepped around Bucky where Bruce was pointing so that you were passing by Tony where you needed to be.

“Miss! Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.” Tony said as he gently took your shaking arm and turned you back around so you were facing the camera. “Hi, I have a very important question for you. Who made this Santa list for you today?”

“Oh. My daughter, Anna Lee.”

“Anna Lee. Well my name is Tony Stark. I rented a U Haul truck this year and we’re doing a Christmas video shopping spree for one lucky child this year where we fill the truck with toys for them. And a list written to Santa in glitter crayon on pink paper with stickers to boot, screams special little girl.”

“What?! No, you can’t…”

“Well Santa told me that this was the list I was looking for.” Tony interrupted with a smile, glad you were playing along. “It’s been decided by the spirit of Christmas. So what’s first on the list?” He asked as he looked at the list with you.

“Well Annie really wants an American Girl doll so that’s where I was headed first.”

“Then American Girl it is!” Tony said as he smiled over at you before looking at the camera. “Let’s fill this U Haul for Annie!” Tony stood there long enough to get a thumbs up from Bucky before turning toward you with a smile and handing you back the list. “You did good.”

“Thanks.” You said with a small smile as Bucky came up next to you as Tony looked at his app.

“Just so you know, the microphone picks up your voice even if your not in front of the camera and records it… and I can hear it all in my headset. Which is also very stupid.” Your face flushed red as he held the camera by his side and followed the rest of the group down the street.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

“Relax.” He laughed. “We can edit it out in post. No big deal. Just be mindful, OK?” With one more apology, the group turned the corner and grabbed a pair of taxis to head a few blocks uptown to stop number one. You got the quick run down on how you were supposed to enter, but that was it instruction wise. You headed through the door of one of the flagship American Girl Place stores, and couldn’t help but smile that you were standing in a store that you had wanted to see since you were a child and got your own doll.

“So which doll does Annie have her heart set on?” Tony asked as he moved you and himself just enough so that you were out of the way and in front of a wall.

“Oh, that would be Nanea. She’s…”

“First one to find Nanea without disrupting the mom’s gets a thousand dollars.” Tony said with a smirk. His friends took off a brisk walk and you glanced over at Tony. “You’re in on that too.” He said as he gestured to the store. 

“Oh boys. If this is how the day is going to go, you’re in for a world of hurt.”

“Follow her.” Tony said as he pushed Bucky in the direction you went. You beelined through the crowd, past Sam and Steve who didn’t realize that Nanea wasn’t a WellieWisher doll and were searching the boxes, Bruce, who was trying to go through boxes in a round about with a bunch of other moms and girls, and Scott, who looked completely lost trying to find some kind of sign to point him in the right direction. Being a mother, and a frequent reader of the magazine, you knew exactly what you were looking for. You headed upstairs, slowed along the side wall in the middle display of all of the dolls that were sold in the historic line, before very gently reaching up to grab a box on the bottom of the third round display in.

“Found it.” You said softly as you smiled at the doll that was going to make your daughter’s whole world. Tears welled in your eyes as Bucky lowered his camera to just watch you for a moment before shooting a text to the group that the doll had been found and where and putting the camera back up on his shoulder.

“She’s a lucky girl.” He said softly, making you look up at him as you hugged the box to your chest.

“I remember opening this box when I was a little girl. It was magical. And now I get to make it magical for her, too.” You looked at him and not the camera and smiled softly. “Thank you for doing this.”

“So who are these other dolls? They all have stories, right?” Steve asked as he looked around at the section you were in.

“They do.” You said as you held the doll to your chest. “I know some of them. Julie is a hippie who stands up for girl’s rights, Melody stands up for the civil rights movement, Nanea survived Pearl Harbor, Kit was Great Depression, Samantha is an orphan, Rebecca is Jewish, Addy escaped slavery, Kaya is a Native American, Josefina lived in 1800’s New Mexico, and Maryellen lives in a time of conformity in the 50’s and she just wants to stand out. Then you have Joss who is deaf in one ear, Blair the chef, decorator, farmer, etcetera, and lastly my personal favorite, Luciana, the aspiring astronaut. Wow, I know all of them.”

“You know a lot about these dolls.” Steve said as Tony stood next to Bucky, just watching.

“I do. I had a doll when I was younger, Molly, World War II. I loved the lessons that these dolls taught, and I love that they are still teaching girls about our history. And they all have clothes and props and stuff to help reinforce those stories. Like I had a little chalk board and work books, and a desk for Molly. It’s really cute.”

“Well then obviously, Annie needs them all.”

“What?!” You snapped as you whipped around to Tony, who was smiling as if he didn’t just drop a bomb.

“One of everything the doll has.” He told his friends, who scattered across the room to grab a doll and all the accessories they had in their section. “Pay attention to the little boxes!”

“No. No, you really don’t have to do that.” You tried as he looked at Nanea’s shelves and grabbed her clothes and accessories packs.

“You agreed to this, sweetheart.” Tony said in a sing song voice as he grabbed a couple shopping bags from a woman and started to fill them. “We’re doing this for Anne…”

“Anna Lee.” You and Bucky corrected at the same time.

“Anna Lee.” Tony repeated as if committing her full name to memory. “Look, they’re historic so she can learn. And besides that, you have to look at it this way. I know we’re not gunna be able to fill a 26 foot U Haul today. I knew that going into it. But thanks to money that I get from my followers, and money that comes from selling sweaters and t-shirts, and shit, I know I have roughly one million dollars to spend on Anna Lee. And in order to get more content to be able to do this for someone else, I need to go all out. And I need you to participate as well.” You nodded your head as his friends started putting their finds in the shopping bags, and Tony gently pushed your shoulder. “Make it fun! Enjoy spoiling your kid. Just pretend you won the lottery and spend my money. Because you kinda did.”

“OK, OK.” You sighed as you took two shopping bags from him with a scowled smile. “Fine. They make furniture, clothes, pets, and accessories, too. And other dolls for younger kids, and ones that you can find to look like your kid…”

“Well then lead the way.” Steve said with a smile as the guys picked up the first round of bags. You looked over at Bucky with a heavy sigh, and he gave you a smile and a small nod.

“You got this.” With a roll of your eyes, you lead the pack of boys around, picking out and assisting them on picking the best pieces the store had.

Part 2

𝙱𝙾𝙰𝙽𝙶, 𝙺𝙰𝙶𝚆𝙰𝙽𝙶, 𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙿, 𝙻𝙸𝚃𝚂𝙸

Is saying cuss words really bad? Discover approximately the origins of those not unusual place curse words, you will recognize that some are not so terrible after all. Cebuano language, also spelled Sebuano, furthermore called Sugbuhanon, member of the Western, or Indonesian, branch of the Austronesian or Malayo-Polynesian language family. it absolutely was spoken within the first 21st century by roughly 18.5 million people within the Philippines. The speakers are you contact eastern Negros, Cebu, Bohol, western Leyte, the Camotes Islands, together with the northern and western coasts of Mindanao. Cebuano is closely related to the languages of the Hiligaynon or Ilongo and Waray-Waray, and it is sometimes grouped with those languages as a dialect of Visayan or Bisayan. The Cebuano speakers constitute about one-fifth of the population of the Philippines and are the second largest ethnolinguistic group within the country. Regardless of its spoken frequency, Cebuano is not any longer used as a literary language, although newspapers and films both use language. Native speakers of most Bisayan languages, only ask their language by their local name, but also by Bisaya or Binisaya, meaning Bisayan language, this could be misleading or may cause confusion as different languages could even be called Bisaya by their respective speakers despite their languages being mutually unintelligible.

The word “buang” is extremely old. Buang could be a Cebuano word for crazy. Cebuano could be a local dialect within the Philippines. Buang is usually a harsher word than crazy. this may be used as a curse once you are angry and may be utilized in tandem with other known Cebuano cuss words like the likes of Yawa, Pisti and Atay. It appears within the oldest Visayan dictionary because the equivalent of the Spanish word “loco,” which suggests “crazy.” In English, the word “retard” is taken into account disparaging or offensive. On the other hand, in Visayan, we use “buang” to visit individuals who are schizophrenic, in addition to those with other mental disorders or cognitive disabilities, this is often because of miseducation, the shortage of psychological state awareness, and therefore the lack of recent native words to represent other psychiatric terms.

"Buang ka, sis, wala ka na nanawag!" it means "You are crazy, sister, you did not call!"

"Ang buang galakawlakaw sa Colon” it means in english " The crazy is roaming around in the Colon", another example are 

"Akung auntie kay buang na man” which means "My aunt is already crazy",

"Nakit-an nako akong maestra sauna nga nahimu nang buang, gakatawa sa dalan” which also means "I saw my teacher before, she is crazy now and laugh in the street".

Whenever people with mental disorders hear from, ignorant people say that  “buang,” it comes across as offensive. Some people that have not been educated about mental state would say that somebody with depression is “nabuang,” or for somebody with anxiety,

"Naa man gud na siya’y sakit sa utok, murag nabuang na tingali.” above all for youths with autism.

"Ah, buang diay nang anak ni Marites?" "Oo, naay kuwang-kuwang sa pangutuk." The nature of the word “buang” is additionally disparaging in certain contexts especially within the hands of the ignorant, but it's certainly employed in society. What we want is mental state awareness and new words to face for the assorted terms of mental disorders. For as long as there's no awareness or new coined Visayan lexicons within the field of psychiatry, locals will keep using “buang” when speaking of disorders and disabilities associated with the brain.

This curse word "mananap"  called "animal" in english is clearly not native as Visayans had high reverence and respect for. People usually use this word  as a curse word. It is "hayop" in tagalog. Saying "animal ka nga bata" in Cebuano means  "hayop kang bata ka" in tagalog is a way of cursing someone. We failed to negatively view animals for his or her natural traits, and that we certainly didn't think humans were morally superior simply because of “civilization.” We kissed our dogs and treated our pigs like princesses. We respected the crocodiles’ fearfulness as a “divine sheriff,” and that we copied the markings of snakes and lizards as tattoo designs to indicate bravery and honor. In fact, our youngsters learned the names of wildlife from comparisons with human behavior. Our native word for “animal” is “hayupan.

"Kagwang” this word is really the local term for the “flying lemur.” Our Indonesian brothers’ term for “lemur” is “kukang” or “pukang” or “kubung.” The kagwang will be very stinky, so some Visayans would say, “Nanimahu na man ka og kagwang” which means "You smell bad already" in english. Although funny, harmless, fluffy, and cute, the kagwang is typically unfortunately feared by some Visayans and mistaken to be an aswang. The kagwang isn't a bloodthirsty or flesh-eating creature. It only feeds on plants, and insects, and it's sadly endangered, so please protect it. The decreasing numbers of the kagwang species is essentially caused by deforestation and ignorance. Although called a “flying lemur,” it doesn't fly and isn't a lemur. it's only an expert glider and may be a form of colugo.

Interestingly, sources say that “ Instead of saying the actual curse word, let’s just say “milk” out of anger. They discovered more possible origins behind this curse word! Contrary to John U. Wolff’s definition of his “litsi” entry in his dictionary, we have found that “leche” is also a curse word that originated in Spain. The first one is “Leche” being a reference for “sperm.” The second is “Me cago en la leche,” meaning “I sh*t on the milk” it is a bad reference for Catholics as milk here is sometimes a euphemism for the Eucharistic host in Spain and Puerto Rico or sometimes a euphemism for “ley,” the Law of Moses. The third one is “Mala leche,”  which literally means “bad milk.” Apparently, Spaniards have many metaphorical uses for milk. If you’re told to be of bad milk or to be coming from bad milk, it means you or your mom is moody or bad-tempered. The fourth one is “Leches!” was used by Spaniards when they’re shocked, surprised, amazed, or annoyed. The fifth one is  “leches” literally means “What milks” but figuratively refers to “What the hell.” The last one “Dar una leche” literally means “to give milk” but figuratively means to punch or slap someone. “Leche” in Spanish, however, is not always bad. There is “Ser de la leche” meaning “to be the milk,” and when someone tells you that, it means “You’re the best!” “A toda de leche” or “echando leche” means “very fast” or “in a hurry.”

"It is better to use curse words than to hurt somebody else" and "Saying curse words does not define who you are". When I was a kid my grandparents always taught me to avoid saying cuss words. I still remember when I was in elementary days I said litsi my grandmother slapped my mouth, then I reached junior high school I encountered many schoolmates saying cuss words. I started saying curse words when I was in grade 9 due to the fact that I'm surrounded with people  that are saying it, until now that I am a Senior high school, and saying curse words is like an expression to me along with my friends, when we hang out together we normalize saying cuss words. Nevertheless when we are at school or encounter teachers, principals and people that are older than us we control saying curse words because for them it is still a cuss word, their generation before and generation now is not the same. We all know that saying cuss words is extremely rampant now, especially that we are now in Generation Z which the kids are so advanced and usually are making the cursed words as an expression. The word “profanity” is sometimes relevance curse words and it's a word that has many meanings. It means using the type of words or language that will be construed as inappropriate, vulgar, insulting, foul, bad or dirty, essentially it's the act of cursing or swearing. Additionally, comes in several forms, and  will be an expression, gesture or part of speech. it is also connected to how one behaves during a social context. In some societies, certain varieties of speech and gestures are associated with vulgarity, desecration, obnoxiousness or are taken as insults. For as long as people can remember, cursing and swearing are an integral part of human discourse, certainly, it's not a replacement phenomenon. Furthermore, After all these are just a word expression and what really matters the most is the beautiful attitude of the inside in you, and on how you treat the person you encounter. However we still need to be careful because some people are very sensitive in words especially if there is someone who cursed them. We need to make sure that if we are saying those cursed words, only for the people that are close to us and  used to say it also. 

may book round up

24 books this month, a pretty good stack. even though i’m working from home i keep expecting work to swamp me and leave me with no reading time but... that hasn’t happened yet? so, good.

silver moon - catherine lundoff ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a paranormal novel about a small town in which certain women who reach the age of menopause find another change happening to their bodies. i.e. they become werewolves. i fucking adored this concept and there was f/f romance, but the execution and the writing was sadly pretty boring.

no-no boy - john okada ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ post-wwii, following a young japanese american man who was just released from prison. called a no-no boy because like all other japanese men at the time, he was asked two questions: will you serve in the armed forces and swear loyalty to the us? he answered no to both questions and was detained. the novel follows him grappling with that decision after the war, looks into his friends, family life, race relations, and what it’s like living in a country that despises you. enjoyed it a lot.

the husband gambit - l.a. witt ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the kind of tropey romance nonsense that i live for. contemporary m/m slow burn fake marriage between a struggling actor, and the son of a famous hollywood producer. there were some meh parts (like, the plotting and the reasoning behind why they had to get fake married was like... are you SURE marriage is the best way to fix this) but i really liked it for the romance and the tropes.

drive your plow over the bones of the dead - olga tocarczuk ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary polish mystery fiction, following an old woman living in a secluded community in the woods, when poachers and prominent hunters begin turning up dead. really interesting writing and format, and a really excellent protagonist. not sure how much i liked the actual mystery.

the babysitter - jack harbon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ quick and dirty m/m romance, a literature-loving babysitter falls for the divorced father of the kid he babysits. pretty fun.

zipper mouth - laurie weeks ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary fiction that follows a queer, mentally ill woman as she hurdles through life, unrequited love, jobs, and lots of drugs. i enjoyed the themes when there was a coherent one, but i really didn’t gel with the style. i guess it was trying to be stream of consciousness, which i have read and enjoyed in the past. but this didn’t do it for me. interesting tho, and honestly, i just might not have been the audience for it.

spirits abroad - zen cho ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a PHENOMENAL collection of stories drawing inspiration from malaysian spirits, culture and folklore. absolutely loved it, fave read of the month for sure. loved the use of language and dialect, and the writing was simple and precise and wonderful. and there were some great f/f stories in here. 

a cat, a man and two women - junichiro tanizaki ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the setting: 1920s japan. the characters: lily, a fat tortoiseshell. shozo, her lazy, well-meaning, but ineffectual cat-dad. fukuko, his hot young former mistress, current wife. shinako, his strong-willed, slightly bitter ex-wife. the plot: shinako decides, HEY ACTUALLY FUCK YOU KEEP YOUR HOT WIFE BUT I WANT THE CAT. a great novella about loneliness and comeuppance and marriage. the best part was the cat lol.

the terracotta bride - zen cho ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ really interesting novella about a young dead woman living in chinese hell. she’s married, and her husband has three wives. the first: estranged, conniving, distant. the second: herself, unwilling but resigned. the third: newly arrived, and made out of terracotta. very interesting novella, beautifully written, grim but hopeful, f/f romance on the side.

king and the dragonflies - kacen callender ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ wonderful queer children/YA book about family, grief, racism, coming to know yourself and also accepting yourself. contemporary, but it almost FEELS like a fantasy/magical realism book. 

orphan number eight - kim alkemade ⭐️⭐️⭐️ a novel about an orphaned woman coming to terms with experiments done on her as a child, when she encounters the doctor who performed said experiments, dying in a nursing home. the writing in this was pretty so-so, did a lot of head-hopping which is my biggest pet peeve. i liked the concept, but the plot and the follow through were meh. loved that the main character was a lesbian though, and some of the writing was great.

firm hand - nora phoenix ⭐️⭐️ meh... not for me. m/m contemporary romance following a guy recovering from the car crash that killed his best friend, and his best friend’s son. it went some places that i’m just not up for, lol.

meet cute club - jack harbon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ REALLY adorable m/m romance, following a dorky, earnest romance novel lover, and the new cashier at his favourite book store. they end up trying to revive the main characters struggling book club, and falling in love along the way. very fun and sweet.

mrs. mix up - candice harper ⭐️⭐️ the concept sounded so so cute: an f/f romance about two librarians with similar last names that go to a library convention and the staff mistakenly thinks they’re married and book them into one room. but the writing and chemistry were lacklustre and it was extremely poorly edited. it’s a shame, i could have liked this.

mine - kim hartfield ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a sexy f/f romance that i liked a LOT, about a young woman who after a traumatic event in her life decides to quit her job and go volunteer on a farm in the middle of nowhere. she ends up falling for her sexy lesbian farmer boss. it got deep in some areas i wasn’t really expecting it to, though it was a tad... idk, preachy? and the conflict at the end was annoying. enjoyed it a bunch tho.

the hobbit - j.r.r. tolkien ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ nth reread! i’ve been listening to this on audiobook around bedtime since like... march, i think, it’s just such a comfort read for me.

the knight and the necromancer 1-3 - a.h. lee ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a very solidly good fantasy m/m romance series, about a young prince and a necromancer in a war against an invading sorcerer. sorta enemies to lovers? the three books span their relationship and the war, and though it was only a few weeks in time, it didn’t feel insta-lovey at all. liked it a lot.

the fake game - kim hartfield ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f fake dating office romance! pretty cute; didn’t blow me away but i solidly liked most of it.

what the wind knows - amy harbon ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ historical time travel romance centred around the aftermath of the ireland easter rising. i spend so much time reading solidly gay stuff that it’s so weird reading things where the existence of queer ppl isn’t even acknowledged lol. anyway this was pretty good, i liked it mostly for the historical facts and aspects, but the romance was pretty touching too.

the golem of mala lubovnya - kim fielding ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ LOVELY m/m romance in a small jewish community between a newly created golem and a stonemason. lovely writing and atmosphere and characters. i had my nitpicks with the resolution but holy heck i’m so happy with this.

the electric heir - victoria lee ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ the second part of a queer YA duo-logy that i started earlier this year, set in a future dystopian magic-riddled US, dealing with abuse and trauma and survivors. extremely difficult to read, almost unenjoyable at times (because god these kids go through so much) but very very good.

first everything - kim hartfield ⭐️⭐️ aha, possibly my last try with this author, though i liked the first book i read by her so much i might read one more! f/f romance between a journalist and a fictional first daughter (who’s also like, a domme, lol). the plot was fine but a lot of the character stuff and the shitty parent stuff really bothered me.

and that was may! for june i’ll... read lots of queer stuff, but i mean i do that every month. i also want to try to read less romance, more thriller and historical and just general contemporary? i feel like i say that all the time, but i’ll try. (though i did just get my first ever advanced reader copy from netgalley and it’s f/f romance, so... exciting!) currently reading the 7 deaths and evelyn hardcastle, a thriller. pretty okay so far.

I Know A Bottom When I See One Princess (Part 2)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary

Chapter 1: You and Dean have been pals for as long as you can remember, practically raised together. Are things still the same as you remembered when you reconnect with him after a couple years apart? Well there is one thing you see differently and you’re about to call him out on it.

Chapter 2:  After you flirt back with Dean you start to rethink all of your life choices. Why did you flirt back instead of making fun of him? God it would be so much easier if you were just a genderless blob. Hopefully the new supernatural case a friend of your mom’s gives you will distract you from all this romance mumbo jumbo. 

Chapter 3: You and Dean both start to realize your feelings are not what you both originally anticipated them to be. If only you two could actually talk like adults instead of bantering like childish 8 year olds. The case picks up when you see a certain someone’s name over every case, a certain boomer’s name.

Chapter 4: You and Dean do some sleuthing into Chrissy’s apparent death. After learning the truth your trip to Wendy’s/Jack in the Box gets interrupted by Chief douchebag. Rick takes the three of you on a nice drive to the mountains to introduce you to his daughter.

Word Count: 4,697

Warnings: a fuck ton of swearing, self hatred, angst, fluff bits sort of

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        Ever since your little accusation of Dean, there’d been a little tension between the two of you. You were unsure of what kind of tension there was, or if there was even any to begin with. Surely Dean wasn’t upset about you teasing him, he’d let worse things roll off of his back without sparing a thought about it. Despite your doubts, your routine and friendship were pretty much the same in all regards. You still hunted together and made an awesome team. You still ate greasy food at establishments that barely deserved the title ‘Diner.’ And you still sang together to all his old music. So you were probably just over thinking things like you always did, but you still had an inkling that something was off about Dean.

       Black and blue streaks painted the night sky with speckles of stars scattered across the canvas. The street lights outside cast pale yellow rays from the crack in the curtains that hit across the corner of Dean’s bed and stretched up the wall. The rays revealed to you the quilted pattern of the comforter and Dean’s duffel bag thrown haphazardly on the floor with clothes leaking out of it. Parts of the room not in direct contact with the light were in view as well. Traveling up his bed, you could see the curves of his cheek bones as he slept. Dean truly was beautiful. This was when he looked completely at peace, when he was asleep. 

       You turned to your side again, the bed rustling while you did. You had nightmares like most hunters did, but that wasn’t the reason why sleep evaded you tonight. After that night in the bar you basically cemented that you both had feelings for one another. Sure you and Dean flirted back and forth as a joke, but the other night was different. It was more real. What you had before was just your normal relationship. Dean shamelessly flirted with you and you made a joke out of it. It was your go to move to dodge his affections.

       You didn’t really know how to respond to these advances from him, or anyone really at the moment. Your track record of relationships wasn’t the shiniest around and definitely nothing to brag about, most ending in either death or betrayal, but you were mostly scared to make things weird with Dean. He was your bud, your pal, your dude, any nickname that you could call a friend you’ve absolutely said it to him. 

       What would happen if you two did get together? A million and one questions popped into your mind when you thought about it, all ending with the same answer. Nothing good. It would be easier to play his flirting off as a joke to not hurt his feelings because relationships were nothing but trouble from your experience. 

       At first glance you’d think that Dean would never want to settle down and was content to have temporary lovers that lead nowhere, but he wanted what most people wanted, what you wanted too. True love. Pure and unadulterated love. But the bond you two shared was enough for you right now. You were ok with being alone, not that you really gave yourself much of a choice on the matter having sworn off relationships and meaningless nights with strangers. You couldn’t bring yourself to be with someone, not with the baggage you had strapped on your back. If anyone, hunter or not, saw the scar on your back you knew what they would say and the facial expression that would come with it.

       If you let your walls down for even a single moment you would lean closer to Dean and let what might happen, happen. But the growing void inside refused to let you, God if he saw your scar he would look at you with disgust. It’s not the scar that would make him turn away, but the identity associated with it. Across your shoulder blades read a prophecy in Latin, burned into your skin the day your powers were activated. It was a symbol of your power and title. The curved letters created the prophecy of the Slayer reading; 

“In omni generatione, est electus. Una puella in mundi. Et arte vires et solus geram et in surgere viribus a tenebris. Ad propagationem eorum mala prohibere et ad terras eorum numero. Quæ est Slayer.”

“Into every generation, there is a chosen one. One girl in all the world. She alone will wield the strength and skill to stand against the forces of darkness. To stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their numbers. She is the Slayer.”

       The night you got your scar was still fresh in your mind and could play back like a movie reel. It was an ordinary day just like any other. Your biggest problems were fitting in at your new high school, getting good grades, and avoiding whatever bullshit your mom was going to throw at you, but little did you know you had a big storm coming. The activation of a Slayer’s powers differs from Slayer to Slayer. Some feel nothing, others feel a tickle, but you experienced the worst burning pain you’d ever felt in your life. The moment the imaginary hot metal touched your skin a hellish scream was ripped from your throat. You swore you could feel your skin melt away to expose your bones. The pain was so white and intense that after only a couple of moments your body went limp as a way of protecting you. 

       For weeks the burning pain didn’t go away. The pain and scar served as a reminder that you would never lead a normal life. Never wear a strapless dress or swimsuit ever again. You could never let anyone touch your back. If they felt the raised skin on your upper back you knew they would have questions, and ones you couldn’t answer. It’s not everyday you see anyone with a large brand on their back, or a brand of any kind. But after the reveal the reactions were the same, eyes filled with pity and hands recoiling from disgust. 

       Dean would react the same way. He would look at you just like your mom did, nothing but a demon. I mean that is where you got your powers from as the Slayer, so you had to be a branch on the demon family tree. Dean hated demons more than anything in the world, so where did that put you in his eyes? Embers in your heart started to light at the thought of being related to scum, to vermin. Thoughts and fantasies of a normal life poured gasoline onto the fire until it burned away your entire existence. 

       “God damnit.” Hot air left your lungs as you sighed. The cardboard sheets of your bed pooled around your waist as you sat up. Your eyes were seemingly staring at nothing while you pondered what the hell to do now that you were awake. Your heart felt deflated like a popped balloon, crushed under the weight of your reality. 

       You would give both your legs and your entire movie collection to be able to sleep right now and forget about the harsh world outside the warm cocoon your hotel room proved to be. The desperate need to just sleep was choking you, making tears prick at your eyes.

       “Hey, you ok?” Had you been more awake, Dean’s sudden interjection would’ve made you flinch. Your reflexes and actions were much slower as you turned to look at him lying on his back. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him half asleep, hair fluffy and eyes barely open. 

       “Would you believe me if I said yes?” You asked in a rough voice. Your fingertips ran through your hair pulling it out of your face. Your eyelids fluttered closed in an attempt to concentrate on your breathing. Dean was taking his sweet time answering you. His eyes were scanning over your form. Your chin was perched atop one of your knees, arms around said leg while the other was stretched out under your covers. Your skin had been hardened by years of hunting, fingertips riddled with callouses from the weapons you’d handled. The only parts of you that were soft were hidden from sight. Dean also bet that your cheeks were soft, he had never had the chance to touch them but someday he’d like to. If you allowed it he would be able to stare at you for hours, trying to solve you like a Rubix cube. For the most part Dean could tell what you were thinking and feeling without second guessing himself, but there were always moments he was unable to read your body language. 

       He’s seen you in this state before, not too often but every once in a while. It was almost as if you were a statue, unmoving and barely talking. Whenever you were quiet he knew something was up. It was terrifying when you were quiet. At the pit of Dean’s chest an ache began to grow, he felt this way whenever he saw you like this. Physically there was nothing he could do, no mountain he could push or villain to defeat. This was something you had to work on your own in order to heal, and he understood that. But it didn’t make it suck any less watching you torture yourself internally when you were hit with these episodes.

       “Need some company over there?” You held your breath for a moment mulling over Dean’s question. A familiar touch caressed your mind. This wasn’t the first time you’d been in this situation before. Nothing registered as contact on your skin, it was just numb.

       “Yeah, I do.” Wordlessly, Dean padded over to your bed and lifted the covers. The shadows on his body moved with the light from the street lamps. There was a silent pact you two had to never bring up these nights, nights where you both needed some human contact with no questions asked. 

       Nights like these began after your activation. Dean had never seen you so upset before. As a teen he had no idea what to do, he probably still didn’t know now. But he knew that being held helped you and your mother was sure as hell not gonna do that for you. She was always too busy hunting with John. Truly those two were cut from the same cloth. Without the guidance from your parents you sought comfort in each other, and thus your silent pact was formed. Neither of you knew what the reason for this silence was, but nonetheless you kept it. Dean laid on his back with his arms open inviting you in, reminded of when you two used to do this before you left. 

       Feeling your head on his chest felt like home. A gentle surge of energy made his skin hum as you wrapped your arms around him. If there was anywhere Dean knew he was meant to be, it was here. 

       “Goodnight sweetheart.”

       “G’night.”

       And for the first time tonight, you actually slept.

       Once the morning came around you and Dean were already on the road heading towards another case, Colorado to be more specific. You got a call from a friend of your mother. Her name was Jen and she worked as a park ranger for the Grand Mesa National Forest near Grand Junction. During the past couple of weeks, people had gone missing with no evidence left behind. Jen knew that this wasn’t a bear attack like the police claimed, so she called you and Dean for help. Of course you both accepted excited for a new adventure. 

       The Impala roared across the black pavement, kicking up rocks and zooming past trees so fast the leaves shook. In your opinion, the day was perfect. All across your part of the hemisphere the temperature was starting to drop. It was early October and the snow was starting to fall in a beautiful light drift, letting the wind decide its path. The ground was dusted with white sparkles that glittered in the sunlight. The snow wasn’t thick enough to build igloos out of just yet, but it was just thick enough to stick to the ground. You closed your eyes trying to absorb the environment’s good energy. Somehow you convinced Dean to roll the windows down and here you were with your head practically out of the window taking it all in. You were never sure why, but something about the cold air woke up your bones. Dean would always claim it was because you ran hot and then wink at you. 

       The negative energy was evaporating into the air to be turned into a beautiful white mosaic. The wonderful weather made you think that maybe someone was looking out for you. Maybe someone out there saw your rough night and decided to give you a break. Whatever the cause, you weren’t going to question it and were going to keep singing along to the Blue Oyster Cult CD Dean had in.

       Dean looked over to you and committed the image to memory. No matter how many times he saw your smile it would never be enough. You were stretched out in the passenger seat with your shoes kicked off and jacket thrown in the backseat despite the low temperature. Seeing you beside him in the Impala brought on a flood of old memories. Dean wasn’t able to count the number of times Sam, him, and you drove to get ice-cream and dick around town just to get out of whatever motel you were stuck in at the moment. The three of you were inseparable as kids, always hanging out or messing with each other. But everything came to an end once you both turned eighteen. 

       By the time you had become the Slayer, your relationship with your mother was already strained. She was not the fuzziest person around and was certainly not fit to be a parent. The way she ended up in the hunting business was the same as John. Her husband got killed by demons and the rest was history. From then on she dragged you along on all her hunts and after a couple years she ran into John Winchester. The two made a surprisingly good team. 

       Your mother, Caroline, was always off putted by your existence it seemed. It was as if you were a burden to her, just extra luggage to haul around that reminded her of her late husband. There were never any bed time stories or hugs, just life lessons and the occasional pat on the back. At fourteen you considered yourself to be independent. You cooked for yourself, you took care of yourself, and with the help of Dean you were able to raise Sammy up to be a productive member of society. (Or dork as Dean would like to say) Your mother was barely around so it wasn’t a surprise that you grew up faster than you should have, but things only got harder after you received the call of the Slayer. Caroline resented you for what you were, even if she never voiced her opinion out loud. Her words were sharp and responses were short. You knew what she thought about you.

       Dean never understood how a mother could do that to her child, her only child. Mothers, parents in general, were supposed to protect their kids. The day you left Dean swore he could feel his heart break in two. But as much as it hurt him to see you leave to start your own life in the big world, he knew why you needed to. He knew that you needed to get away from your mom’s abuse and passive aggressive attitude. But none of that mattered because you were here now and Dean was incredibly thankful to whoever brought you into his life again.

       A violent buzzing on your thigh stole your attention away from the beautiful weather today brought you. You sat up from your seat and reached your hands forward, clasping them and stretching until you heard a few clicks from your joints. You stifled a yawn as you looked at your phone. “Hey Jen, yeah we’ll be there soon. No, no don’t worry. Alright. See ya.” Dean glanced over to you, silently asking you if everything was ok. “Jen’s just being paranoid. She thinks the police are gonna know that we’re up to something nefarious.”

       “What does she think we’re gonna do? Show up holding a sign that says ‘Hey we’re definitely going to murder someone?’”

       “You never know, those could come back in style.”

       After another hour of driving, the Impala rolled onto a gravel driveway connected to a log built office. As you stepped out of the car the crisp air of the forest nipped at your skin waking you up. The gas and pollution of the cities made you appreciate the fresh air and scenic views before you. As far as the eye could see there were only trees that looked straight out of a Hallmark movie perfectly covered in snow. For the last month all you had seen was gray buildings. It was suffocating how many people squished themselves into one place that they called home.

       Dead leaves and rocks crunched underneath your feet as you walked into the Park Ranger’s Office. A wave of hot air rushed past your cheeks as you stepped into the heated building. It was simple in structure having only four rooms, a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom and an office. The aesthetic was just as you had imagined it would be. The walls were covered with nature paraphernalia everywhere, with samples of tree leaves and forest fauna tacked onto poster board naming the different parts of the organism. Other parts of the wall were covered in maps and pictures of memories from years and decades ago, like a life size scrap book. The heels of your boots clacked against the wooden floor giving a signal to the workers inside that they had some company. 

       “Hello?” You called out. It’d been awhile since you saw Jen, so you weren’t sure what you were going to get. But after a few moments your voice was met with clunking boots and a familiar face. 

       “(Y/N)! Dean! Thank god you’re here, I’ve had enough of all the spooky shit going down here and would like to go back to fearing bears instead of monsters.” Jen said bounding towards you two with a smile. In her hands she was holding a manila folder that had papers sticking out in all different angles. You smiled feeling her bubbly energy, feeling yourself start to charge up a little after such a long drive. 

       “We’ll get you back to fearing those bears in no time. What do you have for us?” You asked stepping closer to get a look at the file Jen prepared, with Dean following your steps.

       “The disappearances have been happening for years and only during the late fall and winter season, but no one talks about it.” Jen huffed out. She leaned against the kitchen counter with her arms crossed.

       “The police usually just show up, ask their questions, and never do anything to solve the cases. Always claiming it’s bears. But I call bullshit, because bears only kill people when threatened or if they’re messing with their cubs. I doubt that many people would be stupid enough to play chicken with a bear. And even if they did end up dead bears bury their prey and feed on them until completely gone, but we haven’t found any evidence to support that claim. No body, no bears.” Jen’s description of the case was strange. Both you and Dean were already mentally working on a list of creatures to rule out in your hunt. 

  ��    “Have you seen or smelled anything strange in those weeks?” Dean asked. He was thumbing through the file to see pictures of the site of the crime, narrow footprints on the ground, and trees scratched with bloody long claws. Jen looked at the ground, pulling her brows together in concentration as she thought back, willing her memories to give her some sort of clue to what happened here. 

       “Not that I can think of…” For a moment it looked like something clicked in Jen’s eyes. “Although….”

       “Yeah?” Jen shook her head again dismissing herself. “Anything will help.”

       Jen pulled her lips tight before answering you. “The claw marks I’ve noticed on the trees are odd.”

       “How so?” Your partner asked stepping in.

       “It’s not a huge difference from regular bear claw marks, but something feels off about them. The claw marks feel less like territory guarding and more like a result from an attack. If that makes any sense, they’re less precise.” You and Dean shared a look, almost as if you were telepathically sharing the same idea. Your gut was telling you already predictions of what was terrorizing the woods, but you wanted to get all the details before you jumped to conclusions. The case seemed like a pretty open and close shut one. You were about to thank Jen when the office door suddenly swung open. After a moment of panic, Dean quickly picked up the case file and hid it in the confines of his leather jacket. The door swung back hitting the wall with a loud smack revealing an older gentleman in a police uniform. His face was grim, every crease in his face probably from frowning so much. Your eyes looked to his breast pocket with the name tag, ‘Rick Sullivan, Police Chief.’

       “Ms. Clinton, you’re not scaring the locals again with your fairy tails are you?” The policeman’s voice lacked any humor or sarcasm whatsoever. From the cadence of his words you could tell that this wasn’t the first time Jen had this conversation with him. Jen’s body language switched. She stood up straight with a stoic look on her face. Oh yeah, they had definitely met before. Jen bit her tongue, wanting so badly to tell him off and reveal to him the true nature of this world and watch as his face morphed into one of pure terror.

       “Not at all,” Jen said, clipping her words as short as she could. “just telling these kids that now might not be the best time to go hiking. Ya know, what with the disappearances and all.” Her eyes narrowed slightly with a fake smile. She couldn’t help but get in at least one jab before the conversation ended. It was a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. But at least with this option she was able to do what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. The police man, now known as Rick from his name tag, clenched his jaw. Tension built up into the air as the two stared at each other for a moment.

       “Just some bears getting their energy out, nothing more than that. But regardless the department needs to check all the bases and I need the sign in form.” Jen breathed deeply, most likely to stop herself from saying anything else and walked out of the room to get the clipboard the office left out at the entrance on a pedestal for guests to sign in at.

       “Is everything ok? We heard there were some people who went missing here.” You asked casually slipping your hand into Dean’s. The rush Dean felt from your skin touching his made his heart beat quicken. That familiar hum of energy traveled up his arm and dissipated into the rest of his body. He knew you were only doing it to protect your cover, but it still didn’t fail to make him nervous. Feeling some sort of magnetic pull, Dean moved closer to you. You would be lying if you said that playing this role didn’t feel natural to you. It was odd how easily you could slip into the role of a fake girlfriend, holding onto his arm and leaning your head on his shoulder.

       Rick shook his head and sighed. “Nothing so dramatic happened here. We just have a few residents that like to stir things up and make trouble where there isn’t any. As long as you don’t hike where you shouldn’t be you should be fine.” He stated this like it was such an obvious fact that even a mouth breathing four year old would be able to see it. Rick seemed to think highly of himself, towering over you two in condescension. To him you two were just some dumb kids looking to cause him grief.

       “Are you sure? We read that there wasn’t any damning evidence that pointed to a bear attack.” Dean butted in. Your grip on his hand tightened almost as a warning to get him to cut the attitude he was sporting. If it wasn’t in his voice, you could see it all on his face. Dean’s eyes were locked on Rick with his lips pursed. Of course that shit head had to have at least one word in on this, his personality wouldn’t have it any other way. He always had issues with authority, something you thought he picked up since he was always under John’s thumb.

       Rick could sense Dean’s snarky attitude a mile away and reciprocated. His posture straightened even more, if possible, and he pulled his shoulders back. “Son, I’ve been on the force for damn near forty years. I think I know a bear attack when I see one.” You were sure if Dean uttered another word Rick would have him arrested just for being disrespectful. Truly the police chief before you was the epitome of the angry baby boomer’s generation, and Dean was just another millennial in his eyes here to ruin the diamond industry by spending all his money on avocados or not getting married. 

       You tugged on Dean’s arm wanting nothing more than to get out of here before the situation escalated. “Hey love, why don’t we head home and come back another time?” You  asked leaning into Dean, affectively playing the part of the girlfriend. The two of you had everything you needed from Jen to start working on the case, and if you had any more questions you’d call her. Guess she wasn’t kidding when she mentioned over the phone that the cops around here were twitchy. Dean couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his lips looking at you clinging onto him. Fake or not he loved being able to have these moments with you. 

       “Sure thing sweetheart.” Dean’s eyes followed your figure as you lead him out of the door to the office, ignoring anything Rick Sullivan had to say to him. 

       Once you knew you were out of ear shot of the asshole back in the office you felt the need to speak up brewing inside you.

       “You are going to get us arrested with that smart mouth of yours.” You poked at Dean. Looking over to him you saw a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. He didn’t regret a word he said. You both walked in sync to the car with clasped hands, no longer safe from the cold outside. 

“Well my mouth could be doing other things if you want sweetheart.” Dean tugged on your hand, pulling you to him with a smirk. Your laughter filled the air as you shook your head.

       “Like what? Complain and bitch about the cold? You are pretty good at that.”  Rick’s crotchety behavior was long forgotten by the time you two got in the Impala. Yet again your rapport with Dean remained the same. Maybe harmless flirting was just your friendship and you were making too big of a deal about it. Analyzing your history with him did remind you that this dynamic of yours had been going on forever. Nothing came from it then, so maybe nothing will come from it now. The two of you settled back into the Impala to start yet another adventure into the supernatural world. 

love you goodbye || erick brian colón

where are my 1D stans at?

word count: 1,116

requested by/request: @honeyzhong​ ||  #31 and #35 with Erick. #31: In awe, the first time you realized it, #35: As a goodbye. requested from this prompt list.

description: when you love something, you have to let it go. Also thank you to @ella-se-vuelve-loca for helping me come up with this idea!! Love u💞

warnings: fluff

masterlist

tags: @quierick @mepuserojito @ericks-mala-actitud@woowoodaaboo @ella-se-vuelve-loca @joelsaww @honeyzhong @sarswilltakeyouout @pimentelssmile @hardtoadore @whippedforcnco @notsoteenagegirl @richukisbb @besosdecnco @emsy55 @cloudfiveclub @erickspretend1

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No one was supposed to know.

When Erick signed the contract for no girlfriends until the next album comes out, he never ever thought he’d regret it. He was young, and there was plenty of time for him to find a girlfriend, later on, he thought.

Then he met you, just weeks after signing the contract. It was by accident, of course. As fate would have it, he was browsing a local music store in Miami when he was home for a few days from the tour, and you both reached for the same vinyl. When he met your gaze, it was the end of him. He had no chance, absolutely no chance. One gaze had him hooked, one conversation had him infatuated, and one lowkey date had him swooning.

You stole his heart with no mercy, and he had no chance of ever giving it back, not that he wanted it back. Every second he had alone he was texting you or calling you, even declining to go out at night with the boys just to spend time with you. It was rather suspicious, making you have to tell him he has to go out on most nights since management could figure out why he was always alone pretty quickly.

When the management team overheard one of the boys talking about Erick’s girlfriend the other day, his whole world crashed. They gave him an ultimatum; it was either you or CNCO, and he wasn’t ready to make that decision.

But you are.

As soon as he told you what had happened, you knew what you had to do, it was crystal clear. It hurt like a bitch, but you knew who was going to have to make the choice. When you decided what you were going to do, the reason behind you hit you like a ton of bricks. 

You love him more than you’ve ever loved anyone or anything in your entire life. Almost every second, you think of him. You hear a beautiful melody and think of his laugh, or hear a lyric in a song and think of how you feel about him. The stars at night remind you of his eyes and the moon his smile; it is bright, yet soft and gentle, invoking in you a feeling of excitement and a rush that only the nighttime, and his personality, bring.  

Fortunately for you, he is in his New York hotel right now, packing to fly out for another concert. A few tears cascade down your face as your finger hovers over the FaceTime button on your Mac, which you bravely press before wiping the cool wetness on the back of your hand.

“Hi, baby!” Erick’s cheerful voice bursts into the room, completely breaking your strong composure. When he can see that something is wrong, he immediately grabs his phone, bringing it closer to his face.

“Babe? What’s going on? Talk to me! Is it about management? We’ll get through it amor I promise.” He pleads, green eyes wide as he waits for your response. Your eyes flutter shut as you inhale deeply, building yourself up weakly again.

“Erick... we’re not gonna make it through this one baby,” You cry out as you shake your head at the monitor. A cry threatens to come out of your mouth as you watch his face drop, heartbreaking in his eyes.

“Don’t do it, don’t say what I think you’re going to say!” He begs again, but this time, you offer a small smile.

“Erick, god, I have to say this before this is over. I’m absolutely, totally, and completely in love with you. There’s absolutely no one I’d rather spend my life with, which is why I’m leaving you right now. Go finish your tour, go write your next album, I can’t hold your career back from you knowing it’s your dream. If roles were reversed, you’d do the same for me. So I guess, this is goodbye.” You choke on a sob but keep it buried inside of you, not wanting to break with Erick on the screen, but he doesn’t get the memo. Tears pour out of his eyes like a river as he runs a hand down his face, stress and sadness seeping out of his pores. Watching him cry, and knowing you’re the reason for it, feels like a knife to the gut that’s being twisted with every new tear.

“Nena, don’t do this, please. I’m begging you. I’m meeting with management to try to figure this out tomorrow. I love you too, don’t leave—” A sob finished his sentence for him as his hand covers his mouth, body shaking rapidly. You bite your lip, quickly wiping anyway any tears that have escaped before Erick sees.

“Wait for me, promise to wait for me, and I swear I will leave you alone. I won’t let you do this if you don’t. Once the contract is done we can pick up where we left off.”

“Mi amor,” You begin, smiling at him on the screen, “There’s no one else I want. It’s you, only you. I promise I’ll be waiting for you. Come find me.” 

He sniffles, nodding, then smiling at you, “Lo juro. Te amo, mi vida. Adiós por ahora.”

“Adiós, Erick. Te amo tanto.” With one last shared smile, you press end on the computer screen, leaving it black and empty, exactly how you feel in the moment. The tears that threatened to spill during the call fall immediately, leaving you choking on air as you crumble on your bed. Never before have you felt such pain; it begins in your heart and seems to use your veins as its transport to the rest of your body. Your heartstrings seem to snap one by one, leaving you clutching your chest as you beg God for mercy. A migraine comes next and is instantly behind your eyes as if your soul is trying to burn away the image of Erick crying, which is constantly playing in your mind to torture you for the pain you caused him. Had anyone saw you, lying in the bed in such a way, it would seem to them that the knife you felt in your gut was actually there, because if you hadn’t know why you were in pain, you would’ve thought you were dying.

You stay like that, in a fetal position, until the light turns from white to golden, then everything goes dark. The darkness is welcomed by you for once, because there, you can hide from your pain and the one question that you can’t seem to shake from your mind.

Will he wait for me?

Only time will tell.

-

Do we want a part two

I made @uniflip-official versions of two Unikitty OCs of mine!

First is Master Harmony, the flipped version of Copperette. She's a Bloom Lord and news anchor for Smile City who'll do anything for a good story. Lives for the present and loves all things neon and materialistic, be it retro or modern. But she loves her job most of all because it helps her better connect with people, something that she struggles immensely with. There's no such thing as someone she'd consider an open book. As such she's easy to befriend and trust, but is just as easily manipulated and lets people walk all over her with an inability to stand up for herself in the slightest.

And Unimisery may or may not kinda like her.

Next is Mala, the flipped version of Mina. She's one of those "2edgy4u" kind of girls, angrily whining/yelling and avoiding responsibilities every waking moment. Normally can be seen hanging around very polluted urban places like busy cities or factories, especially at night. She hates absolutely everyone and everything equally, except Eagledile (don't let her near him unless you want her to kill him). No matter how aimlessly she wanders or how bitterly content she feels, she'll waste no time in picking fights and swearing like a sailor (or Filthy Frank, take your pick XD). And thank you @girlyglorious for helping me with her name!

a fantasy excerpt

Word Count: 1113

Genre: Fantasy

Content: mild language

Today was a good day. Clouds hung over the deck of the Joya, but they were the kind of bright clouds that didn’t make you feel gloomy. 

Nia sat on the steps leading up to the sterncastle deck, quietly playing with Tamir, dragging a piece of string around as he leaped at it joyfully. 

Idona stood up on the sterncastle deck, looking out upon the placid waters contentedly as she steered the Joya. 

Alora sat on the main deck, looking over her map quietly, the slight breeze tugging on her long braid. 

The door leading to the lower decks banged open and Malas strutted out, his eyes falling on Alora, and he began to make his way over to her. He sat down next to her, leaning against the wall of the boat with a sigh.

“How about letting me take a look at the map?” he asked, smiling softly. Alora rolled her eyes.

“Absolutely not. You can see it from here.” She tilted the map ever so slightly so that Malas can look at it better. 

“We’re hitting every place here, aren’t we? It’s like a fancy trip around the land, and I don’t pay a dime.” 

“Keep your voice down,” Alora murmured. “Or Idona’ll put you on latrine duty.” 

Malas shuddered. “Ugh, don’t say that. I still have nightmares about the poisonous fish week.” 

Alora made a face. “Anyway… have you given any thought to what you’re going to do when this is all over? I know you said you’d only stay because you needed something, but surely we’ve grown on you in these past few weeks. I mean, look at the character development from you! You started out hating us, and now you hate us a little bit less!” 

Malas chuckled and looked out to the cool grey ocean and the deep gray clouds beyond, a sure sign that rain is coming. “I honestly don’t know. There’s… some things I need to do once I get what I’m looking for, but I’m not sure. Maybe I will come back.” 

Alora smiled slightly and shifted her weight towards him. “I hope you will. I remember in that bar when we first met, and you told me, ‘you can pillage your entire life and there’ll always be more.’ Maybe we can do this again.” 

Malas nodded, looking at Alora quickly before he looked back out at the horizon again, a deep rumble coming from the beyond. “Maybe we can.” 

Before Alora can respond, a few raindrops hit them both on the head, and Alora stuck out her hand and waits a few moments before more come. The rain will be here soon. 

“Hey, Idona,” Alora called out over the deck. “Have we decided whether we’re going to Overmount or Portavira next?” 

Idona squinted, looking out at the horizon before responding. “Overmount,” she said. “I was planning on Portavira first, but it’s no longer safe for me to bring you lot.” 

Alora nodded and opened her map back up again, but Malas’s head snapped up to look at Idona, fear filling his sharp eyes.

“What do you mean, ‘no longer safe’? What happened?” Alora looked over at Malas.

“What’s the matter? Overmount will be a better destination. What’s so concerning about Portavira?” 

Malas says nothing but his eyes darken as the rain begins to fall on the deck of the Joya, quickly making his hair wet. 

“Portavira… Portavira is where my sister and her wife live.” Some sort of fire had built up behind his face, and he whirled around to face Idona. “Take us there. Tell us what happened.” Idona shakes her head.

“Absolutely not, you dolt. You’re going to get killed. Some people from the Black Hills… they attacked the entire city. There were a lot of casualties.” 

Malas shook his head furiously. “Idona, I’m not asking, I’m telling you. Take us to Portavira.”

“Hey!” Idona yelled as the rain began to hammer against the Joya. “Let’s not forget who’s the captain here, dumbass. I’m sorry that your sister was there when it happened, but we don’t know if Portavira is safe or not. The Joya is too big. If the people from the Black Hills are still there, your ass is done for. And I’m not letting that happen.” 

Malas, however, seemed to have forgotten the voice of reason. He strode across the deck, anger radiating off him as he stomps up the steps to the sterncastle deck. Idona however, towered over him. 

“Mal, stop,” she said. “I get that you’re upset, but I could easily snap you in two, so I suggest that you seriously reform your attitude before you or someone else gets hurt.”

From the steps, Nia looked over in shock. “Idona!” she exclaimed over the rain. “He’s grieving! We have to cut him some slack!” 

Malas  whirls around and looks at Nia. “I don’t need some little pipsqueak trying to save me,” he said. 

“Stop it!” Alora yelled as she strode over to where Malas and Idona stood, glowering at each other. Alora gently put her hands on Malas’s shoulders. She looked up into Malas’s eyes fearfully.

“Mal, please,” she whispered. “Come back to us. I know you can.”

Malas however, doesn’t come back. His face hardened, and he brushed past Alora and Idona, making his way down the steps again, grabbing his daggers and a rucksack. He made his way over to the spare rowboat, and Idona, Alora, and Nia rushed over to him.

“Mal, don’t!” Alora yelled as the rain lashed around all of them. Tears filled her eyes. 

“Mal, we’re your friends,” Nia said somberly. “We’re here for you. We want to help.”

Malas, however, looked at the three of them and shook his head. “No. You’re not. I should have never agreed to join a group. I was fine on my own. You, you’re all dragging me down. I’m sick of losing the people I love, and I’ll be damned if I lose two more.” 

And with that, he hefted the rowboat over the edge of the Joya, and it dangled precariously over the side, held only by two ropes. 

He grabbed the rucksack and his daggers, and jumped into the boat, as Idona yelled, “Mal, I swear to all the gods, don’t you even think about stealing my boat!” 

Without a backward glance, Malas unsheathed one of his daggers and cut the ropes with a clean slice, sending him and his belongings into the stormy water. Alora let out an unearthly shriek, and Nia grabbed her tightly, holding her close. 

As Malas slowly rowed away, the only thing that is said around the rain is from Nia.

“Light guide him.”

hey! thanks for reading this, if you did. I have mixed feelings about it, but I hope you enjoyed :). 

legend of vox machina episode 1 + 2: hi matt

VIBRATING INTENSIFIES

through the power of god and playing skyrim for eight hours straight I managed to stay unspoiled except for like. two inconsequential things.

oh I dig this "your turn to roll" remix

I cannot imagine what went into putting this on. like the logistics make my head hurt.

however I am slightly salty that I have been bullied into using chrome for this

five minuteeeeeees I have exceeded the speed of light

I love scanlan being front and center, making up for the first campaign guide cover

was that fucking beat-up vax art behind liam

how many years? that can't be right. that feels like too many.

I will forever be enraged that one more person couldn't get in the kickstarter

HE

they let david tennant do a cuss

MURDER HOBOS

so glad keyleth not being able to hold any amount of drink remains canon

vax that's not sanitary

he's HELPING

hmmm didn't need that

HIM

MISFIRE

oh there's the tits that one review was talking about

scanlan does what batman can't

twins

I'm so glad to still get to hear matt's trinket noises

I probably already said that but it's still true

they said the thing

vax is me

HE'S VAX SHE'S VEX

I continue the tradition of removing my earbuds for at least part of scanlan's music

"mainly bc I like the bear" correct

I am LOVING the twin body doubling

mala: big earth king energy here

FAVORED ENEMY

sigh, it is weird not to hear matt as allura

like her voice is absolutely fitting but I have one million years of association to break

allura stole vax's line smh

I Love Her

hi matt

scanlan

leave pike alone, she was only there for half the campaign

I'm assuming that was sam and liam's kids

BABIES

since vax isn't getting his foot burned off we have to have regular-people romantic development

dragon prince dragon design but with a budget!

changes twitter handle to Dumb Brave Asshole

babygirl

[builds a wall around keyleth before people who don't know better start in on her]

chekov's hand

buddies

friends to lovers to divorcees

but's who's ON the council

BUDDIES

like sad buddies. but buddies.

vax :(

"thinking of a rhyme for dead dragon"

goddammit, I'm still not free from midnight channel musical

great, now quarters are gonna make me cry

METAPIGEON

of course taliesin's favorite memories are drunk keyleth

the fact that I came back from the bathroom just as laura went "stop peeing"

-----> EPISODE 2 STARTS HERE

hi matt

ohhh that lightning breath animation with it coming up from its gullet

"that was a red dragon, years ago"

"how did you survive" wouldn't YOU like to know, BRIMSCYTHE

see when I named my beta fish brimscythe I wasn't expecting to ever have this mental conflict

(rip brimscythe)

"we hid and it flew away"

vex and percy with joint custody of the brain cell

GILMORE

"knock it off gil it's us"

the BOY

TUSK LOVE

every time pike's armor clinks I just think of the "CLANK CLANK CLANK" stealth rolls

wait was that sprinkle on the shelf

"I don't give a wet fart what she thinks" now say that where she can hear you

I missed grog so goddamn much

d o o r

so far scanlan is 80% of the swear words by volume, which is correct

the rug

grog

oh are we still getting Grumpy Anti-Vaxleth Vex

Favored Terrain

percy unaffected by the gold

TROLL DICK

SHE

OH that transformation animation, put it in my VEINS

the narrative necessity to take grog "human cuisinart" strongjaw out of the fight early

"we HAVE no best!"

PEASANT

pose as a team bc SHIT JUST GOT REAL

FUCK YEAH YOU WOULD

there are many benefits to being a bunch of assholes

of course the troll dick comes with

vax :(

oh they DO have the keep!

it is probably not still called greyskull

scanlan

"we have a home" lays on the floor and cries

they

sdkjflskj sylas' voice

mala: amazing 10/10 best $20 I ever spent

I CONCUR

you can tell david tennant had so much fun as krieg

travis

I will not be doing the watch parties

so my kid will NOT be watching this but I sure as fuck will, many many times

AND there's the battle royale on thursday, this week is designed to kill me

SPN MinnCon Day 3

You know what, I’m pulling the I-just-gave-birth-to-a-tiny-helpless-human card. That’s why I didn’t get back to this sooner. Also my mom and aunt were in town helping out a ton but it also kept me away from Tumblr most days.

So. MinnCon Day 3. This day was the day for me. I had been looking forward to the whole weekend for months. But truly, this day was something that I had been freaking out about for about two weeks for two reasons. 1.) Jared Photo Op. 2) Jared 30 Minute Meet and Greet.

I’ll preface this with the fact that I am a dyed-in-the-wool Jared/Sam stan. I cannot get enough of him and his smile and his sense of humor and his hair and his compassion and his empathy and his brain and his eyes. Okay, yeah, I love the 6′4″ mansuit he inhabits, too.

When you read this, you’re going to see a lot of Jared. A decent bit of Jensen, too (I took a lot of pictures of him). But I’ll be writing a lot more about Jared. Except for the meet and greets. Which... ugh, I wish I could tell you guys about his 30 minute meet and greet as well as his 10 minute for VIP. But I can’t. :(

Buckle up bitches, this shits long...

It was the first picture I took.

The day started out with the Gold Panel. If you haven’t seen it yet, my fellow VIP’er, Sue, gave Jared a thing of cupcakes when he called on her for a question and she didn’t have one ready. So she asked him if he wanted a cupcake. There’s rules about giving them food; I guess they’re not supposed to take it, but Jared was like, “Uh shit yeah I want a cupcake.”

He was only supposed to take one for each of them. But I don’t think he could hear her very well. So he took the whole thing. I was supposed to eat one of those fucking cupcakes.

And then:

CUPCAKEPOCALYPSE

It went on for several minutes. Jared dropped the cupcakes (THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO EAT) and made a giant mess. A creation staff person came out to help, a fan offered baby wipes, and Jensen had to help clean Jared’s face.

“Help a brother out, man.”

“You are beyond help.”

Brothers. I swear.

Questions were fun and it was during this panel that I could tell that the day would be distinctly different from previous con’s Sundays. We all know Jared is quite a bit more talkative than Jensen. But today, that would not be the case. Someone put a quarter in Jensen...

He’s so pretty.

Again, I’m not sure what someone said (I know I could go watch the video but, time) but Jensen busted out the imaginary popcorn.

And then there were more wonderful pictures of Jared.

See. Lots of Jared.

If you want to see ALL of the pictures I took (and edited) from the entire weekend:

GO HERE

The flicker album will be available until flickr decides to get rid of free accounts or whatever nonsense Yahoo wants to do with flickr.

After the gold panel I had Jared’s 30 minute meet and greet and his photo op. I was hoping that by waiting to post this, I’d have my .jpg from Chris, but I don’t.  The meet and greet was fantastic. There were 20 people in that session, and we drew numbers for seats. I got number 6 which ended up being right in the middle of the front row. I don’t know how I got so fucking lucky...

I got to ask my very weird question and got a very cogent and incredibly self-aware answer that kind of blew me away. And we even had time to sneak in my follow-up, which also resulted in another ridiculously self-aware response. And he remembered these questions because he later brought the topic up again at the 10 minute VIP.

Now the photo op. I’m pretty sure this interaction tops the entire weekend (just sneaking past his autograph and getting a smooch from Rob Benedict). Remember the fact that I’m 37 weeks pregnant. I had no clue what the hell to do for this photo op. I was wearing my self-made maternity “Love Yourself First” t-shirt, all black, with red/black buffalo plaid. I don’t know if it was entirely obvious that I was pregnant as I walked up to Jared for my op.

The VIP folks with his op got to go first. I opted, out of the four of us with his op, to go last. I walked up as Bang A Gong (Get It On) played, and whenever there is music playing, I cannot help but dance a bit. So my dumbass does my white-girl shimmy up to him and he laughed as he did his own short dance, but then proceeded to damn near do the splits to take the picture. I’m 5′4″. He’s 6′4″. I definitely didn’t want to take a picture with my face at his sternum. He knew that.

But other than that I didn’t know what to do. So I told him that. Here’s the conversation:

“Hey. I really don’t know what to do because she’s in the way,” I said as I pointed at my very-much-in-the-way-pregnant-stomach.

Jared’s eyes popped when he looked and then immediately started rubbing my stomach. Now normally, I would not have been okay with some rando touching my pregnant stomach without asking.

Jared Padalecki is not some rando. And he asked, “How far along are you?”

I laughed as I said, “I’m due in three weeks.”

If I thought his eyes popped before, they damn near fell out of his head at that. He replied, “Holy shit, how the fuck are you on your feet?! That is so badass, I can’t believe you’re here!” He held up his hand for a high-five, which I did, and he grabbed my hand to hold on to it. He then asked me my name. I told him and mentioned I’d been to the con last year with my sister and she was sad she couldn’t make it this year. And he then said, “Jeanna, awesome, I’m so sorry your sister couldn’t be here. But, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?” I told him I was great and that I’d been looking forward to this for months even though I’m huge and was really nervous about this photo op.

He then pulled me into him, wrapped his arms around me (like he does for most of his ops) and we took the picture. With his arms still around me, he looked me in the eye and said, “It was wonderful to meet you again. I am so glad you are here and that you’re doing so well. Is this your first?”

“Yup.”

“I am so happy for you, that’s awesome. I remember Gen had the pregnancy glow, you look absolutely stunning, you’re rockin’ it hard. Thank you again for being here. I’ll see you again later in VIP.”

I thanked him and hugged him once more and he kissed the top of my god damn head.

And then I left the photo op room. As I was walking out of the room, a fellow VIP’er was waiting for me and saw me walking out. I think I had the worst dead-eyes face on because she said, “What happened?! Did something go wrong with your op?!”

And I said, “No. It was amazing I’m fucking speechless and don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m forgetting something. I... don’t know what to do all of a sudden.”

“Breathe, honey. You’re forgetting to breathe.”

You’re god damn right I was forgetting to breathe. I mean, this just happened:

I couldn’t have asked for a better photo.

Moving on...

Next was Mark Pellegrino’s panel which was stellar. I love him.

Rob came out eventually and was giving Mark the Dad stare. I kinda wish Rob would look at me like that... eh, @atc74?

And then there was some funny God and His Children interactions.

Such a stellar cast.

And then there was the Jensen and Jared main panel.

Guys. Gals. There are so many fucking pictures I took. Here’s a random sampling:

It was an amazing panel. Like I said someone put a quarter in Jensen and he was just on point this year. Compared to other cons and videos I’ve watched, he really came out of his shell at this event and put on an amazing show with Jared. I absolutely recommend watching all the videos from this convention because they are so worth it.

After the main panel was Mark’s, Jensen’s, and Jared’s 10 minute VIP meet and greets. Holy shit were they great. Again, can’t really talk about them, but I got to sit next to Jared and he doesn’t understand personal space. I’ll leave it at that.

The night ended with autographs. I hit up Jared’s first, which in hindsight wish I’d done last but oh well. I hopped in line and when he saw me he said, “Remind me how long you’ve got?” as he reached out and touched my stomach again. I told him it was three weeks out and he smiled and shook his head as he said, “Damn, you are a fucking trooper. Congratulations again. Keep kickin’ ass.” He signed the photo, thanked me, and I thanked him. Right as I stepped away, he said, “You tweet that baby’s picture right away! I wanna see her face!”

I did tweet a picture, but I don’t think he saw it. That’s okay, I didn’t really think he would.

Jensen was next, who I had sign my J2 op from the previous year with my sister. While signing, his mala bead bracelet got stuck on the table cloth. My first thought was to say, “What did you do, Ray?” in my best Winston impression. And Jensen didn’t miss a beat. “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there...”

Thanks for knowing your Ghostbusters references, Jensen.

Last but not least was Misha. Aside from his 10-min meet and greet, I’d never really interacted with him. There was a short wait for him as he finished up his Castiel photo ops. My VIP liaison and I were waiting together because she had an op for his auto too. And then he arrived, got settled and waved us over. I had him sign the first op my sister and I ever got from 2016 with Misha and Mark Sheppard. Mark had signed it last year.

And Misha remembered from VIP on Saturday that I was pregnant and asked me about it. When I told him it was a girl, he said, “Oh yeah, you’re gonna love it, it’s stupidly fun. Picked a name yet?” and I told him we decided on Elizabeth. His response was, “How cool, my sister’s name is Elizabeth. You have fun with that baby and don’t listen to anyone. Follow your gut. Science, too. But trust yourself. You got this.”

And then we were done. I went back to the VIP room, helped clean up a bit, gathered my stuff, and headed for my car. The second I walked out of the room, I started crying because... it was over. Everything was done, all the things I’d been looking forward to for months were... done. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, the weekend was behind me.

I’m still not over it. I’m waiting for the next opportunity to meet them all again. I called my sister in that moment of sudden sadness and told her that we absolutely had to do VIP together at Chicago, or hope they come back to Minneapolis soon. I can’t imagine doing a con without VIP again.

And the weekend wouldn’t have been what it was without all the people I met and new friends I made. You’re all wonderful and amazing and I can’t thank you enough for how welcoming you all were.

I hope you all enjoyed reading these. I think I’ll put a master post together to link to all three parts/days and add a link to the flickr album there as well. Thanks again for reading!

OC Interview (Taren Angeldos, feat. Davvik!)

Alrighty, time to do a tag meme! I was tagged by @deeafrotailmisstress​

Anyone who wants to try this out, DO IT!! Original questions here  

1. What is your name you go by?

“What name do I go by? Taren?”

2. What is your real name?

“Well, I’ll say it again, it’s Taren. The full name is Taren Angeldos, though!”

3. Do you know why you are named that?

“Dad named me it ‘cause ‘Taren’ was the name of his first pet trask… not sure what that says about me though.”

4. Ah.. okay. Are you single or taken?

“I’m single and ready to mingle, ladies!”

In the background: “Provided I like you.”

“Dad, c’mon! Ugh, old man thinks he’s my own personal matchmaker.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“How ‘bout the power of strength? I mean, look at these bad boys!”

6. S-Sir, please get off the coffee table. Ahem... so in that case, how much can you lift?

“Oh! There was this one time when I was 18 I lifted a whole engine turbine that weighed, like, 900lbs!”

“896!”

“Well, it felt like 900! Anyways, moving on!”

7. What is your favorite food?

“CAKE! Caaaaaake! That is like the best food I’ve ever tasted, I could eat it all day!”

“Any reason why it’s your favorite?”

“Oh yeah, when I was a kid, my dad brought home a cake straight from a Dominion vessel they encountered and, oh man, it was like heaven. You know, the Exiles may be at war with the Dommies, but they can make some fuckin’ amazing cake!”

8. What’s your eye color?

“People’ll call it gold, but I like to think it’s more coppery!”

“Taren, that’s not what copper looks like.”

“Excuse me, who’s the one getting interviewed here, Dad?”

9. How about your hair color?

“It’s like a boring purple with white tips and dots. I call it snow bangs, cause it looks like snow falling from the sky, heh!”

10. Have you any family members?

“Well there’s my dad over there, yes he’s a mordesh. Then there’s his girlfriend, Mala, who’s basically already my mom.”

“Not yet.”

“She totally is.”

11. What about pets?

“You know, one day I’m gonna get a boulderback buddy of my own one day! One as strong as I am!”

12. Now tell me about something you don’t like?

“You know what I don’t like? People thinking they can pick me up whenever they want ‘cause I’m a small guy! It hurts, honestly!”

13. Do... Do people do that often? 

“Hee hee hee...”

“Dad, shut up! I can hear you laughing!”

14. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like?

“Well, most of the time I occupy myself with making gadgets, but I also like to shred on my guitar!”

“Oh, what kind of music?”

“Metal! OH! Do you want a sample?”

“Oh, no no no, that’s fine, thank you!”

15. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Hurt anyone? Uhm, plenty of people, yeah? I’ve wrassled with people a few times and I get to punch a few baddies here and there.”

“And emotionally?”

“Emotionally? Yeah, yeah I have... I’ve done my best to settle my differences with others though. I know I can be annoying and shit, but I kinda like being annoying sometimes. Just gotta find common ground, right?”

16. Ever killed anyone?

“Ahm... probably? It was out of self defense anyways. No one messes with me or my friends. I don’t want to talk about it...”

17. Fair enough, let’s move on. Name your worst habits.

“Worst habits? Hmm... well there’s this thing I do with my tongue that pisses off my old man, watch!”

“Ugh, Taren, I swear to Kemos, that’s just... GET IT OUT OF YOUR NOSE!”

18. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“A few people: My dad and Mala, first off, my Aunt Olka, Guy Fantastic, and some bozos at Fantastic Enterprises. They’re the best!”

19. What is your sexual orientation?

“Well, I know I like girls, a LOT! Don’t think this means anything, but I’ve admired a muscular dude from time to time, though. Heh heh!”

20. Did you go to school?

“I didn’t have that luxury as a kid, but my dad taught me enough as well as a few other people on the ship I lived in. Basically the whole crew home schooled me.”

21. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“Uhm, maybe! I do kinda like the idea havin’ a kid of my own, teaching ‘em the ways of the strong, yah know?”

“The... strong?”

“Yeah! Getting them buff!”

22. Alrighty. Do you have fanboys/fangirls?

“If I do, I wish they’d show themselves already, hah! Hah... hah....”

23. What are you most afraid of?

“Psh, ‘m not afraid of anything! I’ll you what though, I used to be terrified of draken! I would have sooooo many nightmares about them chasing me down long halls or gutting me out with their horns-”

“Taren...”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop - but nightmares were a thing when I was a kid. I had plenty of them back then!”

“Nightmares were a thing? What does that mean?”

“W- That just means I had a lot of nightmares as a kid, I had one like almost everyday. Some were kind of... too real. Like I was watching someone desperately clinging onto life.”

“Can we move on from this?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea...”

24. Uh, alright. What do you usually wear?

“Something that shows off my muscles, always! Like a cool vest or tank top. But I have a favorite jacket I like to wear too. Most of my stuff is grey and copper too. Copper’s my favorite color!”

25. Do you love someone?

“Love someone? Like my dad?”

“Awww.”

26. No, but like... Are you interested in someone?

“L-Lah... Like a crush? Uhm...”

“... You’re taking a while to answer this.”

“Sh-Shut up! No, I’m not interested in anyone... except if they’re interested in me, of course, heh!”

27. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“Wha-What kind of a stupid question is that? I did that when I was like, five!”

“Actually, the last time you wet the bed was when you were 15-”

“DAD, WHAT THE HELL?!”

28. Pffft... We’ll move on now. What do you think is the worse act someone can commit?

“Hmm, I dunno, I think I just thought of a crime now, huh dad? Embarrassing your son in front of other people?”

“Taren...”

“I’m gonna be nice and spare you for once, Dad. We can argue about this later, right?”

“But it was true-”

“What’s the next question?!”

29. What class are you? (high class, middle class, low class)

“We’re middle, although that’s not saying much with the war.”

“DAD! OH MY KEMOS! IT’S MY INTERVIEW!”

30. Moving along! How many friends do you have?

“Oh, I have a good group of friends. My best band mate, Andi, and a few others from Fantastic Enterprises. Shout out to Seek, my man!”

31. You mentioned you loved cake, but what about pie?

“All they same, they’re both gonna be consumed by me eventually, hah!”

32. Favorite drink?

“I can drink almost anything, I don’t have a favorite! I’ll tell you what though, rowdowser milk is awful. Yeeuck...”

33. What’s your favorite place?

“I actually have a few of them, but the three I can think of off the top of my head are Wilderrun, Celestion, and Malgrave - Malgrave especially! It’s like the rough ‘n tough terf of Nexus and I get to surf some of the dunes there from time to time. It’s an absolute riot!”

34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“You know, either or, there’s a ton of sunken shit to find in the lakes and oceans here on Nexus. I guess if I had to choose, I’d go for oceans!”

“So now we’ll be getting a little personal here...”

“Uhm... okay?”

“Oh Kemos...”

35. What’s your type?

“My type? Well, I like strong girls, but I also like it when girls act all cutesy and stuff too - all too adorable, right? But they have to be tall! Like, really tall! If they’re aurin height, I’m not all that interested. But a 7 foot beauty? Oh man, they can just step on me!”

“Taren!”

“Oh stop it, Dad. If the interviewer says we’re getting personal, best not to stick around for this part.”

36. How big is your willy?

“Woah! You really meant it with personal! I mean, if we had to give exact measurements, it’s like thiiiiiis long.”

“Taren, I seriously disapprove of this.”

“Hey! At least I’m not showing it to them, right?”

37. Any fetishes?

“Hah! That’s only for me to know and for you to not find out, alright?”

38. Dominant or submissive?

“Ooooh, I would wan to be dominant, yah know? I do kind of like the idea being submissive though, remember what I said about tall girls?”

“TAREN!”

“Alright, alright! Can we get some different questions here? For the old man’s sake?”

39. Sure thing. Indoors or outdoors?

“Now that’s a hard one. Indoors means I get to work on engineering projects and stuff, but outdoors means I get to go exploring! Oh man, that’s a hard choice!”

40. How about this. What do you think of the eldan?

“Oh those guys? I don’t know, they make a lot of cool shit, but a lot of that shit tries to kill me. So I can’t say I ‘like’ it, but I do wanna mess around with it a lot more. Seek would kill me for saying that, but he can’t stop me, hah hah!”

50. Anything else you’d like to add before we end?

“Only that your went from 0 to a 100 with those last few questions. That was great, man.”

“Ugh...”

“Oh, and I’m sorry about my dad. He’s always trying to mess with my fun, hah hah!”

“You know, if you didn’t act like a child all the time, I wouldn’t treat you like one.”

“That’s my dad, everybody. Hah hah! Love you!”

“... Love you too, kid.”

I just read the most profoundly disturbing thing I have ever beheld with my own two fucking eyes, and I need to rant about it. You guys can’t help me process it any better, but at least we can all join together in a mighty chorus of ‘what the ACTUAL fuck??’

This is not a funny post lamenting another weird creature/human atrocity that I delved from the darkest depths of Amazon, this is a situation where I’m putting the rest of this rant under a cut because I’m going to include large chunks of text that romanticizes child molestation.

You have been warned. Do not read on if you can’t stand that sort of content.

So, if you’ve been following this blog for a while, then you’ve seen me gleefully lampooning the batshit romances of an author called Mary Anne Graham. This is the author of pee hole fingering fame and that one time a man’s top ho killed herself using a wooden paddle she had carved into the exact likeness of his penis because he was having too much gay sex with his boyfriend and neglecting his harem. There are always anatomical oopsies galore (including a man having two different openings to his anus) and general wtfery that’s usually absolutely hysterical.

I picked up her new book on Kindle Unlimited a while back, read most of it, guffawed my way through it as usual, and then forgot about it for a bit while I read other books that understand metaphors actually have to make sense and melting eyes do not denote desperate infatuation, but rather some kind of deadly disease. I went back to it today deciding I’d push through it to the end, since my Kindle said there were only twenty minutes left to the end of the book.

What a fucking mistake that was.

This book was full of the usual hilarious dipshittery until the last few minutes, when it suddenly took the most disturbing turn I’ve ever seen. I’m going to post the synopsis so you understand the basic premise of the story, and then I’ll summarize the scene leading up to what I’m going to copy and paste, so you understand the context.

Synopsis:  Russian gypsy Prince Vladimir Batalova didn’t await meeting his soul mate. He’d known her for years. She was the daughter of Tobar, the gypsy who married Vlad’s mother and saved her from her abusive marriage. Vlad’s noble father abhorred the youngest son produced by his idiotic marriage to a dirty gypsy. Tobar accepted Vlad, treating him as family, equal to his own son, Nic, and his daughter, Mala. Vlad returned Tobar’s affection and considered Nic his brother, but Mala? He’d never felt brotherly about Mala. Vlad spent years dreading the letter that would tell him of Mala’s marriage to a fine gypsy lad. Instead of a letter, he got Tobar and Nic delivering Mala to London to save her from certain ravishment. They asked Vlad to fulfill his mother’s dying wish: that Mala be brought to him to enter society and find a husband. Now, Vlad must turn the gypsy he loved into a debutante, find her a husband and have her under his roof, within touching distance. Even with the help of all his friends, the sixth sense he shared with his buddy, Boz, and some faerie magic, Vlad knew he could never find a happily ever after. His forever was forbidden unless he convinced Mala that the bond they had shared wasn’t the one they should share – and that taking each other was worth losing the family they both adored.

So, they wind up getting married under English law, everyone is happy, everything is shiny, etc., and then Mala is suddenly carried off by an unknown horseman. Vlad figures out that it’s her brother and that he’s taken her back to their encampment, so he and some of his friends hightail it over there to get her back. Turns out Mala is not willing to go because she has convinced herself that because he didn’t perform a Romani wedding with her, he means to throw her aside and vanish eventually, just like he did when she was younger (shortly after meeting one another and becoming family, he suddenly up and took off and never explained why). He says it’s because he’s a demon or some shit, and the reader is suddenly made aware that he has this deep dark secret connected to why he ran away years ago, though at no point prior to this does the narration mention that something ugly is gnawing at his conscience. (Conveniently, it explains that the secret is so terrible even he forgot about it. But then he remembers it well enough to make a very detailed confession of something that happened years ago.)

Mala tells him that she will not return with him unless he confesses this secret and she can judge whether or not he truly loves her and will be faithful to her for all time.

So he does: ‘”I swear to you that I’m no deviant. I’ve never had a sexual interest in children. Never. Well, never until you were twelve and I came to meet your Papa and attend his wedding to my mother. Mother introduced us and my heart stopped. I froze and don’t even recall if I spoke. Then you ran up to give me a hug in welcome and my most private part unfroze with a vengeance.”

He paused for breath and to give her a chance to kick him and run away--but when she did neither, he continued. “I was horrified at myself, but helpless against the force of my response. Through the ceremony I positioned myself behind a small shrub of a convenient height and vowed not to so much as look at you. Course, I couldn’t look at anyone or anything else. When the women began dancing around the couple after the vows, I watched your budding breasts jiggle when you kicked and imagined myself...,”

A noise in the background halted his words, and he jumped ahead. “That night, around the fire, Tobar gave an amazing, emotional speech, where he said that in marrying my mother, he acquired another son. My blood father hated me for existing as I was a living reminder of his unpardonable lapse of judgment in wedding a damned gypsy. Your father accepted me, Russian blood and all. I couldn’t repay his affection by lusting after my step-sister. I left that night and vowed to stay away until whatever demon that had possessed me was evicted.

He then muses over the following two months, which were apparently filled with a bunch of orgies. He begs Mala not to push him to tell her about this part, because she doesn’t need to know everything. Also, apparently becoming a ‘nude buffet centerpiece that any party guest could stroke or taste or lick or nibble’ is much worse than sexually assaulting a child that her father entrusted to you for protection after welcoming you into his family. Mala agrees not to push him on the orgy stuff, and he continues:

“I thought it possible that I’d exaggerated the event in my mind. I returned about two and a half months after we first met, vowing to treat you as a younger sister. I kept my vow until I spotted you as I rode in, strolling in an area secluded from the caravan by a stand of trees. You were flirting with a lad a couple of years older. He brushed your hair back and tilted up your chin for a kiss he never got. I leapt off my galloping stallion, stormed over and told the brash bastard that if he so much as looked at you again, I’d geld him. I was jealous as hell.”

“You were?” Mala asked. “I thought you were acting like an enraged big brother.”

“No,” Vlad said. “Hell, no. Despite my every vow and intention, my love, I have never, for a single second, felt like your brother. My obsession with you grew worse, and more obvious. Your father says he saw it and so did Nic, but neither of them had a clue how low I’d sink, how evil I’d become. I kept myself mostly under control that visit, save for a few brush ups with some of the other fellows who had dreams and intentions that I destroyed rather ruthlessly. It was my next visit when my demon overthrew my will. That’s when the true evil started.”

“That’s nonsense,” Mala said.

“No, it’s not,” Vlad said. “All I can say in my defense is that the first time was accidental. I was away from the tribe, fishing and trying to clear my head and cool my loins. I succeeded only in aggravating the fish. After I packed up my gear, I strolled in the woods for a bit. A splash and a giggle drew my attention, and I stalked to a stand of trees and dense brush and peered through. ‘Twas you, dressed only in sunlight and your golden skin. You were bathing. Your youth, my supposed honor and morality, all of it commanded me to leave and give you privacy. I didn’t. After that, every night, at every campsite, I did it again and again.” 

Mala blinked. “You watched me bathe? And the other girls as well?”

“There were other girls?” Vlad asked. “There are no other girls, Mala. There are no other women.”

He steeled himself and continued. “And yes, I watched you, but I did more. I pleasured myself as I watched. I invaded your privacy and desecrated it. I reviled myself for it then and every moment since then. I ordered myself to stop but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’d leave so I’d have to stop, but I could not stay away. Then came my worst transgression. One winter’s night, your father and brother left with the other men to scout and liberate some horses. They asked me to sleep inside the vardo with you. I tried to do the right thing and made myself a separate pallet, but you complained of the cold. It took pitifully little for me to join you in your cozy nest. You cuddled up to my back innocently, for warmth.”

Vlad paused and closed his eyes, but she made a noise of protest so he looked at her again. “My flesh felt every sweet inch of you, and I ate it up like a starving man at a banquet. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. When I awoke, our positions had reversed. You’d turned over and I spooned you. My arm lay around your waist, but I moved it up until your breasts rested upon it. I jiggled them, slightly, imitating the way I watched them move whenever you danced. You didn’t wake, and I recalled your father and brother’s jokes about how deeply you slept. So I cupped your breasts through your gown, teasing your nipples to pert fullness that I couldn’t see.”

“Oh my Great Duck,” Mala said. “I thought I dreamed that. You turned me over, and climbed atop me, didn’t you?”

“To my everlasting damnation, I did,” Vlad said. “I hiked up your gown and positioned myself against your feminine mound. I moved your gown off your shoulders to uncover your breasts. I sucked you and humped you like an animal until I found the most shameful, the most splendid release of my life. I was beyond disgusted with myself, so I got up, cleaned up, and went outside to build a fire or kindle it or something.”

He goes on to say that he afterwards fled and “signed on to crew a ship leaving for America. I needed an ocean’s distance to keep me away else i’d return and likely do something even worse.”

So, he has just confessed that when she was a child, he took advantage of the fact that he was a trusted family member to peep on her while she was bathing and wank to the sight of it, and then sexually assaulted her while she was sleeping. This confession, btw, takes place in front of her dad and older brother. She probably is disgusted and horribly upset and they kill him with their bare hands, right?

Nope. The whole purpose of this scene was for the heroine’s insecurities to be soothed and for her to realise that the hero has wanted her and only her all along: 

Mala watched shame and love battle in Vlad’s eyes and recognized it as the expression she’d seen there for years. She hadn’t understood it then, but she understood it and him now. ‘Twas with effort that she managed not to dance as she said, “Ask me again.”

He then asks her to marry him once more, her dad and brother are like, “Yay! Let’s get this gypsy wedding on the road”, they have a Romani ceremony, and then the book ends with this scene:

Vlad drew her close for a kiss, but paused to ask, “Do you finally understand that I’ve loved you since the moment we met, that I’ve never willingly spent a second apart from you, and that I will hold you in my arms, my heart and my life until eternity ends?”

Mala was crying too hard to answer, so she nodded as he took her lips with tender intent, feeding her back happy tears, flavored with a taste of forever.

I’m going to fucking DESTROY this thing in a review. I cannot fucking believe a functioning adult actually wrote this as part of a romantic happily-ever-after. This lady likes to talk about how her characters are all a ‘little batty’ because they’re just so in love and it’s all a bit tongue-in-cheek--no, you unbelievably stupid fucking asshole, they are not ‘a little batty’, they are literally child rapists. Confessing to your bride that you were obsessed with her when she was a CHILD and that you FUCKING MOLESTED HER IN HER SLEEP is not a goddamn HAPPY ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!

...why do I have a whole list of Latin swearing. Got no idea where it all come from, but oh well, here’s the entire list I have if you’re curious:

“faex” - shit “cane” - bitch (this is actually referring to a dog, however, and not the female derogatory) “deodamnatus” - dammit “cunne” - cunt “filius canis” - son of a bitch (literally ‘son of a dog’) “fututus et mori in igni” - fuck off and die in a fire “futuere” - get fucked “futue te ipsi” - fuck you “irrumabo” - dick “trude id sursum tui cunni, faexcaput” -  shove it up your cunt, shithead. “ede faecam” - eat shit “suge meum penem, cunne” - suck my dick, cunt “morde meum globes” - bite my balls “Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo” - i’ll fuck you up the ass and make you blow me (OR ’ I will sodomize you and face-fuck you’. this is from a poem called Catullus 16, the filthiest latin poems you can find) “Te futueo et caballum tuum” - Screw you and the horse you rode in on “Irrumator” - Bastard “Leno” - Pimp “Flocci non faccio” - I don’t give a damn “Mihi irruma et te pedicabo” - Give me head and I’ll ass fuck you “Mentula” - Penis “Meretrix” - Prostitute “Bovis stercus” - Bull shit “Es stultior asino” - You are dumber than an ass “Es scortum obscenus vilis” - You are a vile, perverted whore “Es mundus excrementi” - You are a pile of shit “Bibe semen meum” - Swallow my cum “Bibe semen meum e baculo” - Swallow my cum from a cup “Globos meos lambe!” - Lick my balls “Es stercus!”  You shit! “Moecha Putida” - Dirty slut “Podex perfectus es” - You’re a complete asshole “Futue te ipsum!” - Go fuck yourself! “Stercorem pro cerebro habes” - You have shit for brains “Caput tuum in ano est” - You have your head up your ass “Perite” - Fuck off! “Impudens es leno” - You shameless pimp “Vacca stulta” - You stupid cow “Vescere bracis meis” - Eat my shorts “Tu scronium es” - You are a whore “Caput stercoris” - shithead (lit. head of shit) “Mentulam Caco” - I shit on your prick “Obesus porcus” - Fat pig “Cupio te meam mentulam sugare” - I want you to suck my dick “Matris futuor” - Mother fucker “Te odeo, interfice te cochleare” - I hate you. Kill yourself with a spoon. “Matris Prolapsus” - Bitch (??) “Stercus accidit” - Shit happens “Potes meos suaviari clunes” - You can kiss my ass. “Quando podeces te regi eorum fecerunt?” - When did the assholes make you their king? “Lupa” - Slut “Cacator” - Shitter “Plenus stercoris es” You are full of shit “Derideo te!” - I laugh at you! “Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?” - Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? “Fabriacate diem, punk” - Make my day, punk “Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit” - It isn’t over until it’s over “Morologus es!” - You’re talking like a moron! “Puto vos esse molestissimos” - I think that you are very annoying “Qualem blennum!” - What a doofus! “Qualem muleirculam!” - What a bimbo! “Quisque comoedus est” - Everybody’s a comedian “Radix lecti” - Couch potato “Raptus regaliter” - Royally screwed “Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem!” - Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business “Stultus est sicut stultus facit” - Stupid is as stupid does “Tace atque abi” - Shut up and go away “Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant “ - May barbarians invade your personal space “Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant” - May conspirators assassinate you in the mall “Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant” - May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy “Vacca foeda” - Dirty cow “Vae!” - Damn! “Viri sunt Viri” - Men are slime “Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! ” - Gross and putrid monster! “Faciem durum cacantis habes” - You have the face of a man with severe constipation “Mala pituita nasi” - Nasty nasal drippings! “Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare.” - If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. “Commodum habitus es” - You have just been owned “Canis matrem tuam subagiget” - Dog has desecrated your mother “Hic erit in lecto fortissimus” - He is Hercules in the sack “Asinus Stultissimus” - Dumbass (lit. “Very stupid donkey”) “Caput tuum in ano est” - Your head is in your ass “Tuam matrem feci” - I did your mother “A tergo” - In the ass “Scio erit in lecto fortissimus” - I am Hercules in the sack. Just bear in mind that the overwhelming majority are NOT ROMAN-ERA PHRASES, but rather the literal translations of distinctly modern phrases by modern Latin students (the obvious exception being the Catullus line, gods but I love Catullus) and some of the actual Roman-era words/phrases are given somewhat inaccurate translations (eg, lupa literally means “she-wolf” but in slang it meant “female prostitute” — which it does in modern Italian, I’ve learned the hard way; perite means “go to Hell” which is a bit tonally different from “fuck off”; and irrumabo is a future-tense VERB, not a noun!!!). The grammar is a little stiff in places too, but hey. The Romans had some really damned dirty turns of phrase all their own. IMO theirs are often a lot more interesting. If you’re writing snappy comebacks from nerdy students (*cough*) these’ll do great. If you’re writing invectives that’re supposed to be ancient…go find the actual ancient invectives. ;) From Catullus: Line Latin text English translation[14][15][16][17] 1 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, 2 Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, Cock-sucker Aurelius and catamite Furius, 3 qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, You who think, because my verses 4 quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Are delicate, that I am a sissy. 5 Nam castum esse decet pium poetam For it's right for the devoted poet to be chaste 6 ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest(necesse est); Himself, but it's not necessary for his verses to be so. 7 qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, Verses which then have taste and charm, 8 si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici If they are delicate and sexy, 9 et quod pruriat incitare possunt, And can incite an itch, 10 non dico pueris, sed his pilosis And I don't mean in boys, but in those hairy old men 11 qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Who can't get their flaccid dicks up. 12 Vos, quod milia multa basiorum You, because you have read of my thousand kisses, 13 legistis, male me marem putatis? You think I'm a sissy? 14 Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo. I will sodomize you and face-fuck you. Sexual terminology Latin is an exact language for obscene acts, such as pedicabo and irrumabo, which appear in the first and last lines of the poem. The term pedicare is a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's anus",[18] and derives from an analogous Greek word, ???????, itself derived ultimately from the Greek word ????, ?????? (child). The term cinaede in line 2 refers to the "bottom" person in that act, i.e., the one being penetrated.[19] The term irrumare is likewise a transitive verb, meaning to "insert one's penis into another person's mouth for suckling",[20] and derives from the Latin word, ruma meaning "teat". A male who suckles a penis is denoted as a fellator or, equivalently, a pathicus (line 2).[21] Thus, there is an elegant poetic chiasm (a "criss-cross" rhetorical structure) in the first two lines. Each line has two obscenities; the first of the first line, pedicabo, matches the second of the second line, cinaede, whereas the second of the first line, irrumabo, matches the first of the second line, pathice. The central pun of the poem occurs in line 4 with quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. The word molliculi refers to Catullus' verses and means "soft and tender little verses", as in love poetry. However, mollis can also mean "effeminate fellator", as well as "soft" in the sense of "flaccid penis". Likewise, parum pudicum refers to Catullus, and can mean "wanton" or "fellator". Thus, in explicit modern English, the pun suggests that "just because my verses are little and soft, doesn't mean that I'm the same, that I'm some hussy cock-sucker who can't get it up". This may be translated more delicately with the analogous English pun, "that I've gone all soft". The rest of the poem plays upon that pun. On the contrary, says Catullus, although my verses are soft (molliculi ac parum pudici in line 8, reversing the play on words), they can arouse even limp old men. Should Furius and Aurelius have any remaining doubts about Catullus' virility, he offers to fuck them anally and orally to prove otherwise. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latin_profanity http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_tablet Mater tua tam obesa est ut cum Romae est urbs habet octo colles Your mama is so fat when she goes to Rome it has 8 hills! Futue te ipsum. Go F--- yourself Mande merdam et morere. Eat sh-- and die Velim caput tuum devellere deinde in confinium gulae cacare I'm gonna rip off you head and crap down your neck. Te fututo, gaudeo You having been f---d, I rejoice. (ablative absolute! Amaze your Latin teacher!) Sentite aciem acrem ensis mortiferi, o larvae putidae, o bustirapi nefandi! Feel the keen edge if the sword of doom, no-good stinking corpse-eating tomb-ghouls! Caput capitis = dick head. Cacator = shitter Hope that helps !! M.VIB.M. Usefull if you have a friend that knows latin and thinks he is a super cool because of it. Latin Swearing Futue te ipsum et caballum tuum screw you and the horse you rode in on Tu plenus sterco es You are full of shit (lit. you are packed with shit) Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags. Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris If Caesar were alive, you'd be chained to an oar. Cepe indicum Take a hint Derideo te! I laugh at you! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Fabriacate diem, punk Make (my) day, punk Fac ut vivas Get a life Apudne te vel me? Your place or mine? Hocine bibo aut in eum digitos insero? Do I drink this or stick my fingers in it? Obesa cantavit The fat lady has sung Id imperfectum manet dum confectum erit It isn't over until it's over Illegitimi non carborundum Don't let the bastards burn you Labra lege Read my lips Lege atque lacrima Read 'em and weep Morologus es! You're talking like a moron! Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo Don't call me, I'll call you. Noli nothis permittere te terere Don’t let the bastards get you down. Nullo modo No way Puto vos esse molestissimos I think that you are very annoying Qualem blennum! What a doofus! Qualem muleirculam! What a bimbo! Quisque comoedus est Everybody's a comedian Quo usque tandem abutere patentia nostra? How long are you going to abuse our patience? Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri? How do you get your hair to do that? Radix lecti Couch potato Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business Scio vos esse molestissimos I know that you are very troublesome Stultus est sicut stultus facit Stupid is as stupid does Tace atque abi Shut up and go away Ut si! As if! Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant May barbarians invade your personal space Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant May conspirators assassinate you in the mall Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy Vacca foeda Stupid cow Vae! Damn! Viri sunt Viri Men are slime Immanissimum ac foedissimum monstrum! Gross and putrid monster! Faciem durum cacantis habes You have the face of a man with severe constipation Mala pituita nasi Nasty nasal drippings! Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem. Stand aside plebeians! I am on imperial business. Si me rogas, potes abire et tu ipse cacare. If you ask me, you can go and shit on yourself. Semper in excrementum, sole profundum qui variat. Always in the shit, just the depth that varies.

iridescent

Summary: “You know, my boy. Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, and some in gloss…But every once in a while, you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”

A/N: Loosely based on the movie (and book of the same name), Flipped. Summary and title taken from the book. No copyright intended. Written for the @staliasecretsurprises​ Easter Bunny event. Special gift for @celestallison who said she loved aus, childhood friends turned soulmates, and when Stiles and Malia protect each other. Happy Easter, Samantha! I hope you had a great Easter and that you enjoy your Easter Bunny Surprise! Special thanks to @staliasupportsfeminism for all her wonderful work organizing and keeping the Stalia love alive. Apologies in advance for the messed up tenses. I wrote most of it in past tense, but when it came to the home stretch my brain started thinking in present tense, and it completely screwed me over. I’ve tried my best to fix any mistakes I’ve made but I’m sure there have been some that have slipped through. 

All Stiles Stilinski ever wanted was for Malia Tate to leave him alone.

It all started when he was seven. His dad had just taken a new position as Deputy Sheriff in a small, unknown town in the lesser known part of California. Beacon Hills was its name, and well, suffice to say, Stiles hadn’t exactly been thrilled by the move. He had loved his old town – his old life. He was in a good school, with a best friend and the whole world seemed to come crumbling down when his parents sat him down one day and told him the news. Of course, being seven, it wasn’t like he’d ever had much of a choice in the situation.

The drive had taken hours, and at that age, Stiles had a really bad problem with motion sickness. So bad, in fact, that by the time they’d arrived, he had already been sick at least three times, messing up his shirt and trousers in the process. It was the worst. It took ages, but final – finally – he had managed to fall asleep, head upright and nose pressed up against the window. Hey, what can he say? It was the only comfortable position he could find.

When they finally arrived in their new street, Stiles had still been soundly sleeping when his door was abruptly opened, causing him to fall out moments later. Disoriented and completely thrown, Stiles glared up at the person staring down at him – the girl staring down at him. A tall, gangling girl with wild brown hair and brown eyes, though from that angle it almost seemed like they held a tinge of blue. Which made absolutely no sense.

“What’d you do that for?” he snarled irritably, scrambling to his feet.

The girl’s demeanour instantly changed, crossing her arms against her chest. “My mom told me I should be nice and say hi,” she announced grudgingly, nodding in the direction of the woman talking to his parents. “And your dad said I should wake you up, but well, you were kinda dead to the world.” Stiles cringed, the angry tone not really doing much for him, especially since he felt a little dizzy and that all-too-familiar urge to barf again.

The pair stood staring at each other for a moment. Stiles could feel her eyes taking in his appearance, going from stained clothes to the red-mark on his cheek from when it had been pressed up against the window. She sighed. “For the record…” the girl continued without prompting.

However, Stiles never got to hear what the record was. Her talking was interrupted by him and that barf he had mentioned coming up and almost landing on her nice white shoes.

The girl was aghast, but before she could say anything more, Stiles moved, wanting to get away from her as fast as possible. No young boy wanted anyone to see them barf – let alone a girl. He was completely humiliated.

Turning sharply to move towards his house, Stiles faltered for a moment, the quick movement messing with his head. “Whoa…” he muttered, stumbling backwards. It was almost like he was moving in slow moment. He was absolutely sure his butt was about to hit the ground and land in his own barf. Stiles shut his eyes, bracing himself for the inevitable that… never came.

With what must have been lightning quick reflexes, the girl had reach out and caught his arm – her hand slipping into his – and steading Stiles so he didn’t fall.

Caught, in more ways than one – Stiles stared blankly at his hand, at the way their fingers automatically intertwined together. He stared and stared, until an uncertain cough sounded from overhead.

Stiles and the girl looked up to see the parents watching them amusedly.

“So Noah, it looks like our son and Malia are getting along great,” Claudia Stilinski remarked with a strange smile that Stiles had no idea what it meant. “Stiles, have you introduced yourself yet to your nice, new friend?”

Immediately, Stiles dropped her – Malia’s (apparently) – hand, wiping away imaginary swear and cooties onto his already dirty trousers. “She’s not my friend! I’ll never be her friend,” Stiles exclaimed indignantly at the same time she said, “I’m not nice, especially not to him.” She pointed an accusatory finger at Stiles before turning and stalking away.

The three adults stared after Malia’s retreating form. The new Deputy Sheriff was the first to speak up, lifting his hands in surrender as Stiles also trudged towards his new home. “I don’t wanna know”, said Noah, before following his son.

Once inside, Stiles stared out the living room window, following Malia as she too entered her house – the one directly across the street.

The two mothers watched their children respectively. Claudia watching Stiles watching the girl. She shared a small, knowing chuckle with Evelyn Tate.

-

Later that evening, Claudia teased her son about his meeting with Malia. And of course, he was still completely embarrassed by the mere mention of her name. Stiles couldn’t believe he had barfed right next to her shoe!

It was horrible. She was horrible. And he told his mother as much.

His mom had simply laughed in response, leaning down to smoosh Stiles’ cheeks together.

“Oh, you never know, my boy, she might just be the girl walking around with your first kiss!”

“Ew! That’s so gross, mom. Don’t you know girls have all sorts of cooties?!” Claudia laughed again at the disgusted frown her son pulled. Which he didn’t understand, at all.

-

Despite what Stiles and Malia had said, the pair were still thrown together a lot in this small town.

It turned out her last name being Tate meant that they had to sit next to each other through most of their classes together. It completely sucked. Stiles would have much rather sit next to his new best friend, Scott McCall or even the pretty strawberry blood girl that Scott got to sit next to. But no, Stiles was stuck with the increasingly grumpy and growling Malia.

To make matters worse, because they were neighbours, Stiles and Malia were forced to walk to and from the bus stop together.

“You should never let a young lady walk home alone, son,” his dad had said when Stiles had complained, and of course, Stiles always listened to his dad.

Even if he hated it.

Probably the only good thing about being forced to spend so much with Malia was that she was fearless. No matter what, she didn’t like bullies and when Jackson Whittemore started stealing Stiles’ lunch money at school, the former had mysteriously ended up with a bloody nose and a black eye one day at lunch. And from that day onwards, Jackson never bothered Stiles or Scott again.

Don’t be mistaken though, Malia wasn’t nice in the slightest. At least, not with Stiles.

She got on really well with Scott and Kira and Alison and Isaac. Just not Stiles. And that totally wasn’t his fault. And he wasn’t jealous. Not in the slightest.

The only thing Stiles liked about Malia was her younger sister. Kylie idolized Mala, always running up to meet them after school – usually carrying a treat for Malia, and usually telling her sister to share with Stiles which Malia would always do. Grudgingly, of course, but she did all the same.

Also, Malia and Kylie spent a lot of weekends at Stiles’ house, or vice versa. And so he kind of had to sort of be her friend. Even if they never said it out loud.

It didn’t change anything though. And it wouldn’t change anything as they grew older. Stiles was sure of it. He still wished Malia Tate would leave him alone.

Except when he didn’t.

-

Stiles pretty much decided from the moment he met her, that he loved Lydia Martin, and that she was the girl walking around with his first kiss. For some reason, this proclamation annoyed Malia to no end and she refused to talk to Stiles whenever he brought up Lydia. Which meant Stiles just talked about her more.

It was an added bonus, really.

He could ask Scott all the questions he wanted about Lydia and Malia would usually roll her eyes and walk away. This tactic doesn’t change over the next few years and it’s pretty much perfect.

By the time he was twelve, Stiles has also decided he’s going to marry Lydia one day. He has it all planned out – a five-year plan, to be specific, to get Lydia to fall in love with him. It’ll be slow but he has no doubt in his mind that he can make it happen. He just has to get her to fall for his charm.

-

“Son, there’s been a horrible accident.”

These words haunt Stiles for three days when he woke up one morning to find out Malia’s mom and sister were in the hospital, and Malia was missing. It was the first time since he’d met her that Stiles had felt the urge to vomit.

His mom and dad won’t talk about it around him, but he pressed his ear up against the door to listen to them talking. Whatever. He needed to know these things. His dad has just been promoted, so he has been kept informed about every part of the investigation.

“The leading theory is she’s been dragged off by coyotes. If we don’t find her in the next day…”

The way Stiles’ dad’s voice trailed off, and the horrible sobbing of his mom was too much for him to bear.

Up until now, he hasn’t been allowed to help. His mom had said he was too young and his dad had been too busy with the search party that he’d never really been given the opportunity to volunteen. But there was need – a drive – inside Stiles that would not be stopped. He couldn’t explain it. It didn’t matter how irrational it sounded. For some unknown reason it felt like finding Malia was his responsibility. He just... he really needed to make sure she was okay. 

It took Stiles all of thirty seconds to decide that if he was ‘not allowed’ to help, well, then he’d just have to run away.

He didn’t get far, of course.

Less than an hour later, Noah had found his son hiking along the side of the road towards the Beacon Hills woods.

“Son…” Noah had tried to reason but Stiles cut him off before he had a chance.

“Dad, I can’t not help,” Stiles argued without provocation. “It’s been three days, and I’m going crazy! I know her. I know where she might have gone. If you just… just trust me… let me help find her. I can do this, I know I can.”

He didn’t realise how close he was to tears until the cool night air blew against his wet cheeks, stinging his eyes.

Noah sighed deeply. “Okay, son, let’s do it together then. What do you say?”

-

They searched all night, until Stiles’ feet were dragging behind him, but the young boy had never been more determined in his life. There were others out combing the woods, too - Stiles heard their calls all throughout the night - but there was something deep inside him telling him that he would be the one to find Malia.

-

And he was.

There are bruises all over her face, her leg is broken and her body is shaking with cold but she’s alive and conscious. 

Stiles never left her side once while they waited for his dad to get the ambulance. He shushed her once when she tried to speak, but only because she seemed so weak, her breathing shallow and teeth chattering loudly in the cold early morning air.

His hand held hers tightly until her dad arrived, and even then Stiles was reluctant to let go. Malia seemed equally as reluctant but she was safe now.  And that’s all that mattered.

- 

Stiles visited Malia a couple of days later in the hospital. 

He hadn’t really expected to say anything because he’d heard his dad say that Malia wasn’t speaking to anybody. And yet, after he’d entered and sat in silence by her bedside for a really long time, she’d said, “It was all my fault,” in a really soft whisper that Stiles had barely heard. 

It wasn’t true, of course. And Stiles had told her as much, but Malia kept shaking her head, tears slipping down her cheeks. 

Stiles didn’t know what to do. He wanted to help her, but being only twelve, he kind of felt at a complete loss. So, he did what his mom always did for him when he was really sad. Stiles stood, grabbed a tissue and helped wiped her tears away. 

Eventually, he ended up sitting next to Malia on the hospital bed watching old episodes of The Simpsons, all the while holding her hand. 

“I told them, I wished they were all dead, and then they... almost...” Malia said quietly just as Homer was about to do something stupid. “I...so I tried to run to find help, but I...couldn’t... I didn’t.... ” 

“Malia, listen to me,” Stiles said assertively, turning his body to meet her gaze, squeezing her hand as he tried to comfort her. “This was not your fault. None of it was. I over heard my dad, and he’d said that a deer had jumped out in front of the car. There was nothing you could have done.” 

Malia closed her eyes and nodded, blinking back tears. Her eyes remained closed after that, and Stiles was beginning to think she had fallen asleep when he felt her squeeze his hand back. 

- 

“Thank you for finding me.”

“Anytime.” 

-

By the time Malia had fully recovered from the accident, it had only just dawned on Stiles that he and Malia are actually more than the enemies/sort-of friends that he’d thought they were.

-

When Stiles turned fifteen, he decided it was high time he put his plan into action and finally ask Lydia out on a date. He’d been talking about it for forever, but up until now, he had always found reasons to put it off.

He could admit, it’s a little more difficult than simply asking her because, well, she still didn’t even know his name.

-

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Stiles looked at Malia purposefully, waiting for her to answer. The question is a little out of the blue, but whatever. He was thinking about what it would be like to kiss a girl and Malia was just there, sitting beside him and he began to wonder…

“Why do you want to know?” Malia asked in return, looking at him skeptically. It’s really unnerving when she does that, like she can read his mind.  

“I…”

“If this is about Lydia, Stiles, I swear to god I’m going to hit you.”

“What? No, no… no.” But he guessed from the way his gaze shifted, no longer meeting hers, that she could tell the truth.

Malia sighed deeply. “Not that it matters, but no, I haven’t.”

Stiles can’t really categorise the relief he felt when he heard this.

So…he doesn’t try to.

“Well, do you ever think who it could be?” he asked. “You know, ‘the first guy’ you’re gonna kiss.” 

Stiles doesn’t get to hear her answer though. They’re interrupted by the gang coming out of the diner anyway, so they just drop the matter.

-

Or so he thought.

-

“Well, do you?” he prompted a little while later when they’re walking home together. Honestly, Stiles tried to drop it, but it still lingered on his mind all day. It was seemed like his brain just didn’t want to let it go.

“If I think about ‘the guy’?” Malia asked, giving Stiles an odd look beforeshrugging. “No, not really.” 

She already knew what he was talking about without asking, but Stiles doesn’t even try to look into what that might mean on a deeper level. He’s too distracted, because he knew for a fact that Isaac wanted to last month and they were getting really close – a little too close for Stiles’ liking but it’s not like he had any say in the matter.

“Why?” 

His follow up question earned him another strange look but by this point Stiles figured he might as well go for broke.

Malia just shrugged again. “Just because.”  But she does this thing with her nose she always does when she’s lying, so Stiles still can’t help but press even more. 

“Because why?”

Malia paused mid-stride, turning to look at Stiles in a shrewd, calculating manner that once again made him feel like she could read his mind.

“Why do you want to know, Stiles?” she repeated her question from earlier.

This time, it’s Stiles’ turn to falter. “Well, I don’t know, I guess I just thought maybe we could try…” Stiles let his voice train away and they stare at each other for what felt like forever.

He had absolutely no clue where that idea came from because he wasn’t even thinking it, but for some reason, he really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss Malia. Perhaps it’s because of that idea his mother planted in his head all those years ago, and now he’s old enough to actually think about what it might mean. He doubted it. But it is a possibility.

They’re both silent for a really long time, and Stiles doesn’t dare look away. His heart is pounding so loudly in his chest that he is almost certain Malia can hear.

Finally, Malia rolled her eyes, looking away before she continued walking. “No.”

Something akin to disappointed welled up inside Stiles when he heard the finality in her voice but he pushed it aside so he could catch up to her.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to kiss you while you wish you were kissing someone else.”

“I wouldn’t…”

The look Malia shot over her shoulder was enough to make Stiles shut up. This time, he knew the conversation was done. 

It wasn’t a lie though. He wasn’t thinking about anyone else when he’d asked. Stiles doesn’t try to analyse what that might mean. He’s still determined to ask Lydia out because, well, he loves her and all, but Malia is different from Lydia.

Don’t ask him in what way.

She just is.

Under normal circumstances, Stiles might have noticed that Malia never said she would never kidd him. Just that, she didn’t want to kiss him right now. But Stiles wasn’t paying. As usual.

-

Stiles never got around to asking Lydia out that year. Or any other time, for that matter. And he’d had the perfect opportunity and everything.  

He and Lydia had met randomly while he was out buying a birthday present for Malia. She had called his name and even flirted with him a little bit. Which was... wow. But then Stiles realised that the shock that Lydia Martin knew his name wasn’t even half as exciting as those few seconds he thought that maybe, just maybe, Malia had considered saying yes.

-

The summer that Stiles turned sixteen was the worst of his life.

It started off like any other. Hanging out with Scott, Malia and the rest of his his friends, dreaming wistfully of when he can get his licence and officially be allowed to drive, and trying to ask work up the courage to ask Malia out on a real date.

Stiles can admit that it was a little weird that he still hasn’t asked her yet. Especially since they still spend as much time with each other as they always have, but… Stiles wanted it to be just right when he asked.

That idea got shot to hell when he walked into the kitchen one morning to find his mom and dad talking in soft voices, both their faces streaked with tears.

Sure, his mom has been acting a little strange lately, but like, nothing serious. She might have been a little more emotional than Stiles would have guessed when he graduated from Junior High, and there was that weird fixation on the neighbor’s cat that she had been incomprehensibly angry with. And there was that time he’d walked into the house and she’d screamed bloody murder about him being an intruder... 

But still… his mom was still his mom. She still loved him with all her heart. She’d even started doing more spontaneous things now that he was older. Like that time she let him skip school so they could dress up in cosplay and watch a triple feature of all the original Star Wars movies at the town theatre.

It was all perfectly normal... kinda. 

But then Stiles learned that his parents have known about this for a while, but they’d kept it from him so he didn’t worry.

Things have apparently gotten worse, to the point where the doctors think it would be best if his mom is admitted to hospital full time. There is a sense of denial when his dad is explaining all this to him, even with his mom sobbing at the table next to him. It just felt way too surreal.

His mother is dying. And there was not a damn thing he could do to stop it.

-

Stiles doesn’t tell anyone but somehow they all still find out any way.

Only Scott is allowed into the hospital room at first because he’s Stiles’ best friend and Mama McCall is the nurse on shift during the day. Plus it would just be way too hard with the all the rest there too. Stiles doesn’t think he could deal with all their sad faces.

Of course, Malia doesn’t let that stop her, but then again, he never really expected it to. 

Stiles walked out of his mom’s room that night to find Malia sleeping in the waiting room just outside, her hair as ruffled and messy as that first day he met her. For some unknown reason, the memory comforted Stiles and he smiled.

He took a seat next to her, and her eyes opened to look at him, blearily. They don’t say anything because there really isn’t anything to say and they’ve never been particularly good with words anyway. But Malia moves her head so that it’s resting on Stiles shoulder and they kind of just stay like that, which is... it’s everything. 

-

It only took a few more weeks before his mom started to act more erratically, worse than Stiles had ever seen her before. She absolutely hated the room at the hospital and Stiles often found her wandering the halls, completely lost. 

After that, Malia moved where she sat whenever she knew Stiles needed to leave to do something, like eat or sleep or have a proper shower.

-

Late one night Stiles entered his mother’s room to find them playing a game on Malia’s laptop. From the sound of it, it’s extremely violent and gore-y and his mom apparently loves it. Both Malia and his mother didn’t even acknowledge his presence when he does, and the only indication that they know he is there is when Malia shifted over in her seat to allow Stiles to sit too.

Their conversation is all over the place, and Stiles chimed in every now and again when he can, but it’s the first time in over a week that his mom has smiled. He doesn’t want to do anything that will make it go away again.

It all felt so normal, so ‘every day’, that he never wanted it go away.

Around midnight the night shift nurse entered and tried to kick Malia out. Stiles could tell straight away that his mom didn’t want that, and of course, he didn’t either, especially if it’ll upset his mom. He didn’t even realise he and Malia were holding hands as she sat next to his mom, watching the game, until he was squeezing her hand tightly in his, worried that she might actually leave.  

“I’m afraid only family are allowed after hours, sweetheart. Sorry.” the nurse had instructed, even if she couldn’t have sounded less sorry if she tried. But then Malia did something so defiant and bold that it made Stiles’ jaw drop in awe.

“Well, then too bad for you, because Stiles and I are going to be married one day, which makes us family,” she replied with such certainty, such conviction that the nurse is completely taken aback. The emphasis on the last word was unmistakable, and the nurse can only look at the three of them like they’ve somehow melded into a horrific three-headed monster.

The look on her face was so funny that it made his mom laugh. She laughed so hard and so long that Malia and Stiles couldn’t help but join in, while the nurse just backed away slowly.

Malia and his mom continue playing their game for another couple of hours but at some point he must have fallen asleep, because the next thing Stiles knew he was opening eyes to see Malia curled up in the chair next to him, head resting beside his. 

Stiles blinked, confused. His mom has stopped playing the game and Malia is still here.

But that wasn’t not even the confusing part. 

Stiles blinked again, looking down and staring at where their hands were still linked.

“You know, my boy…” Stiles jumped a little, glancing up to see his mother watching them curiously, a small, vaguely familiar kind of smile on her lips. “Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, and some in gloss…But every once in a while, you find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.”

“I… I don’t know what that means,” Stiles replied honestly in a hoarse whisper, shaking his head. To his surprise, his mom just sat there and continued to smile, her gaze floating over to where his dad sat in another chair opposite the bed, also sleeping. This idea, whatever it was, sounded so strange that Stiles couldn’t help but wonder if his mother had slipped into that realm where she wasn’t all there anymore.

But then she replied confidently, more certain than he’d seen in a while. “You will, my boy. Some day you will. Some day your mind will catch up and when it does you’ll know it. I have no doubt.”

And he did eventually. It took him years, but his mind did finally – finally – catch up with his heart. 

-

There were times when Stiles was almost hopeful that the doctors were wrong. It just seemed too impossible for there to one day be a world that didn’t have his mom in it.

-

Of course, he was the one that was wrong.

-

Stiles can’t really remember much after that.

The entirety of his mom’s funeral was a blur of people and faces that he can’t recall. What he did remember, however, was that Malia’s hand never left his, not once.

And that, in itself, was enough to help him survive the day.

-

Time continued to pass, one day at a time. Some days are completely unbearable, and others… are only a little less unbearable. But Malia is there through it all to help shoulder the burden, and for that Stiles will be eternally grateful.

-

He doesn’t really know when he fell into this hand holding thing with Malia, but it just… felt right.

-

What they have was completely unspoken. They never even put a proper label on it or anything. Like some girls will go around gushing about their boyfriend or whatever, but Malia never did that. It had just become a given fact that they were together, even if they weren’t ‘officially’ together.

-

It didn’t even strike Stiles until weeks - months - later that they still hadn’t kissed yet.

But he was okay with that. 

His mother was right. 

Someday Stiles knew that his mom’s prediction would come true.  Malia Tate was walking around with his first kiss. She was also walking around with a lot more than that too. And although he knew that they both still weren’t quite ready yet, Stiles was sure it would be someday soon.