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cheesybadgers · 4 months

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Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 22)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 23, Chapter 24

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Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 6,985

Summary: As Horacio's and Javier's stay in Manizales comes to an end, Elena has some words of wisdom and an unexpected offer for their future.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Discussions of coming out, grief, parental loss, canon-typical violence, religious themes, brief non-explicit sexual references, smoking, swearing.

Notes: As promised, here's the second half of their Manizales adventures. I'm still wrestling with editing chapter 23 at the moment, plus life has been kind of busy/stressful lately, so not sure when it will be ready to post. But the finish line is definitely within touching distance now ❤️

Thank you once again to anyone still reading/commenting/making moodboards and playlists or drawing, I'm blown away when my fic inspires others to create. I'll be making a proper masterlist once the fic is finished, where I'll link to everything people have made or have suggested playlist songs etc., plus there'll be my own playlist and moodboards.

Feel free to drop me a comment, whether it's about the new chapter or an older one, I'm always happy to chat 😊

I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 22: Past, Present, Future

The early morning mist transformed into drizzle in the time it took Horacio to run around the farm boundaries, the spray cooling his clammy skin as he worked up a sweat. He left Javier to wake and shower at his own leisurely pace, a routine they had settled into since arriving here. Although two mornings ago, both Javier and Alejandra were suspiciously worse-for-wear, and Horacio didn’t see much of either of them until after lunch.

Today, they planned to join one of Fabián’s tours, which included a coffee-tasting session. So, even if the exercise hadn’t woken Horacio up, the caffeine certainly would.

The rain eased off once back at the finca, sunrays now straining to break through the low clouds as Horacio showered and dressed, somehow still beating Javier.

Tempting aromas from the kitchen let Horacio know his Mamá was already up and about after making the children breakfast before Alejandra dropped them off at school.

As he sat down at the kitchen table and poured himself a glass of orange juice – his usual coffee would wait for later – both cats, Caturra and Bourbon, took turns rubbing themselves against his legs.

“You and Alejandra loved that stray cat when you were young,” said Elena, who had appeared from the larder with her arms full of eggs, chorizo and arepas. “What was her name?”

“Estrella.”

“She was the next best thing to a jaguar, and you were desperate to see one back then.”

“I remember. Never did, though.”

“Not many get the privilege these days.”

“Can’t say I blame them for keeping out of sight.”

Horacio remembered his Abuela Margarita telling him stories of how the jaguar, snake and condor were the original creators of the world and how the jaguar was tricked by man into parting with its power of fire. The feline creature was forced to survive on its cunning and strength alone, prowling around the mountains and jungles of Colombia, waiting patiently to exact revenge.

For too long, Horacio had stalked, clawed and mauled his prey all over Medellín, seeking vengeance on those who betrayed his country and its people. He was an apex predator maintaining balance and order in the food chain, not out of choice but necessity. A reluctant warrior backed into a corner until a palpable sense of duty kicked in when the threat was too real to ignore.

But whatever the unseen truth was, jaguars gained a reputation as ferocious killers, feared by humans until they became the hunted rather than the hunter, gunned down and chased into hiding and a life of solitude. An act of cowardice by the jaguar on the face of it, but these days, Horacio liked to think of it as an evolutionary advantage, the opposite side of the fight-or-flight coin.

“It’s understandable, yes. But a life in the shadows has its drawbacks.”

“True. But there can be a certain kind of freedom in the dark. Especially when those with flares want you dead.”

“Not everyone offering light wants that, Mijo.”

Horacio, who had focused on the floor for most of the conversation, finally looked up, hazel eyes mirrored back at him with extra shades of wisdom. His dour expression softened, and his shoulders sagged in concession. “I know.”

“Whilst I’ve got you here…” Elena trailed off, disappearing upstairs before returning with a small wooden trinket box.

She sat down at the table and extracted a gold chain from the box. “He’d want you to have it.”

Horacio stared at the pendants that swung back and forth like a pendulum clock as Elena held them out towards him. His cheeks hollowed, and his lips formed a sharp pout from how tightly he held his jaw in place. “Mamá, I can’t. Not after everything. Not after I ran away.”

“What are you talking about?”

“After I was injured, I went into hiding...in Laredo, Texas. And I quit.” He grasped his hands together and bowed his head as though in prayer, but he wasn’t sure even God could help him now he had confessed his sins. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. And I know you’re probably wondering why I went –”

“Javier.”

Horacio froze, undecided if he was caught off guard by the mention of Javier’s name or how he could hear his Mamá’s smile as she said it, as though it was the most glaringly obvious response anyone could ever have given.

“It’s okay, Mijo. You don’t have to explain yourself. He told me about the ranch whilst you and Alejandra cleaned up on your first night here.”

“That’s how you knew?”

“Well, not only that. I might be older these days, but I’m not blind.”

Elena chuckled, but Horacio could tell it wasn’t at his expense. So, he allowed his jaw some leeway, unclenching his teeth and facial muscles, almost appreciating the ache left behind. A chain reaction surged through his body, tension unknowingly carried for decades ebbing away now the secret he once believed would follow him to his grave was not only out but wasn’t being held against him.

And so he threw caution to the wind and let the floodgates open. He told his Mamá about Madrid and working on the ranch, about their plans for the future, about life in Laredo and even the crucifix, just in case she had noticed its absence and assumed the worst.

Talk of the crucifix prompted Elena to take one of Horacio’s hands in hers, where she deposited her gift of gold before he could refuse. “Take it. Please.” Her hand formed a dome over Horacio’s, fingers gently squeezing.

Once Elena withdrew, Horacio unfurled his palm and stared down at his very own El Dorado. “After my injury, I’d dream about this sometimes. And the stories you and Abuelita Mirabel told us about Bochica. I wish it’d been as easy as striking a staff to stop Escobar.”

“Bochica might have saved his people from drowning, but he couldn’t save them from the conquistadors and their gold-digging.”

Horacio rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know you don’t approve of Madrid, Mamá. And I know I’m no Bolívar, but –”

“Mijo, what are you talking about? I know you had your reasons for Madrid – even the second time. That’s not what I meant. And no one’s asking you to be Bolívar.”

A salient monument dedicated to Simón Bolívar stood in the centre of Manizales. The statue was half-man, half-condor, each entity synonymous with the other as national symbols of freedom and sovereignty. It still stung for Horacio to be reminded he had worn the Colombian coat of arms on his uniform sleeve every day, the proud condor flying above the motto Libertad y Orden (Freedom and Order) with Dios y Patria (God and Country) sworn beneath. But unlike Bolívar and Bochica, Horacio was unable to liberate his people.

Instead, he had sought refuge in two countries that had interfered the most with Colombia's autonomy. He had made a home on the land of the former Empire and used the gringos to his advantage when it suited him, never mind allowing one of them into his heart and bed.

Elena pressed her hand tenderly to Horacio’s cheek, the conflict in his mind apparently written all over his face. It was an action he had been on the receiving end of throughout childhood, but one that still had the power to soothe him as though no time had passed since.

“You’re also forgetting Chibchacum’s role in Bochica’s story,” she continued. “He was the one punished to carry the world on his back for creating the flood in the first place. Bochica did the best he could in terrible circumstances, and that’s all anyone could ask for.”

Memories re-surfaced of Abuelita Mirabel sitting between Horacio and Alejandra on the sofa, a blanket spread across the three of them, where she told of how every time there was an earthquake in Colombia, it was the weight of the world shifting on Chibchacum’s back. Little did Horacio know that would become a feeling he was all too familiar with when he was older.

But his Mamá was right; he wasn’t Chibchacum or Bochica. And he certainly wasn't Bolívar. But neither was his Papá.

So, he took a deep breath and raised the chain to unclip the fastening. From there, he attached it behind his neck, letting the deity and the angel finally rest against his skin.

“Beautiful,” Elena said, her eyes suddenly glossy and the corner of her lips twitching.

“Thank you.” Horacio held his Mamá’s gaze until it was necessary to look away and clear his throat. “What else is in there, anyway?” He swiftly motioned towards the box.

Elena passed it over to Horacio so he could look for himself. Nestled inside were his Papá’s wedding ring and lapel pins, his Abuelo Ignacio’s St. Michael’s cross, rosary beads, an old pack of Deportivo Independiente Medellín trading cards, a postcard of an orange grove with handwriting Horacio recognised as his Mamá’s on the back, and a black and white photograph of a young boy draped in a police jacket that was far too big for him. Behind him stood his father in the rest of the uniform the jacket belonged to.

“Is that Papá and Abuelo Ignacio?”

Elena laughed. “Of course!” She got up again without explanation, re-appearing with a photo album this time.

She flicked through it until she found what she was looking for. “Where do you think we got the idea for this from?”

She was pointing at an almost identical picture. The two boys in the photos had the same thick dark hair and charcoal eyes, a resemblance that would carry through into adulthood – although Horacio built up more muscle than his father ever did.

Horacio smiled. “I remember that being taken. It was my first day at school.”

“It was his idea before you set off for school, and he set off for work. He made sure I was ready with the camera when you came downstairs in your uniform.”

“I never knew it was his idea.” The dejection was evident in Horacio’s voice, even if he tried to hide it.

“He might not have said it much, but he was so proud of you, you know. And so am I.”

Horacio swallowed hard with his eyes shut, anything to hold himself together. “I used to take this when you weren’t looking,” he managed to get out, gesturing towards the photo album. “Same with some of the other old albums we had. Well, I kept a couple of them, actually.” He chuckled at the thought of the albums currently residing on a shelf in Madrid. “I always went back to the photos and his uniform for some reason.”

“You didn’t have to hide it from me.”

“Neither did you with us.”

“I know. But you were both so young. You didn’t need that burden on top of everything else.”

“You could never be a burden, Mamá.”

“You and Alejandra were busy forging your careers. I had to stay strong at work, helping people worse off than me. So, I saved most of it for my prayers and Día de Todos los Santos.”

Horacio remembered attending Mass and his Papá’s grave every Día de Todos los Santos. But it was different to Día de Muertos. They weren’t welcoming his Papá home; they were praying for those in purgatory and heaven. And as much as he liked to think his Papá was a saint, there was always a part of him terrified that if he didn’t pray hard enough, his Papá would never be cleansed of his sins.

“I was in Laredo for Día de Muertos. Javier’s father – Chucho – had a box like this for Javier’s mother – Mariana. He used it to make an ofrenda for her.”

Another piece of the puzzle seemed to click into place for Elena in a look that combined realisation with sympathy. Another loss, another parallel, another explanation.

“A beautiful tradition,” she concluded.

“Yeah, it is. One that remembers the people we’ve lost as we knew them and welcomes them back home.”

“A bit like this, you mean?”

“Something like that.”

“Whilst we’re here…there’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

“Go on.”

“Money from the house sale in Medellín has been sitting in a bank account since I moved here, along with some left over from your Papá. The plan was to split it between you and Alejandra when I’m gone, but…why wait?”

“What? But Mamá, that’s your money.”

“Technically, half of it is your Papá’s. But he’s not here. And who better to put that money to good use than his children?”

“Even though I wouldn’t have children of my own to return the favour one day?”

It was a question that had lingered on the tip of Horacio’s tongue since arriving here. A question he had tried to ignore for a long time before that, if he was honest. He learned of Juliana’s first pregnancy from his Mamá, who had heard the news from a friend of a friend. That was all she said on the matter, but Horacio was never sure whether he imagined the traces of disappointment in her voice that it wasn’t his child.

“Horacio, do you really think that matters to me?”

There was no disappointment in Elena’s tone now, just incredulous confusion that made Horacio regret his words.

“Even if I wasn’t surrounded by my amorcitos every single day, I would want you and Alejandra to make your own choices. Live your own lives. If that doesn’t involve children for you, then so be it.”

Horacio nodded, his lungs expelling a freeing breath he hadn't been aware was trapped in the depths of his rib cage. “Have you spoken to Alejandra about the money?”

“Not yet. But I know the farm needs repairs, and they’ve always got plans for this place. Same as the ranch.”

“I don’t own the ranch, though, Mamá.”

“No. But from everything you’ve told me about Chucho, he obviously trusts you with his business. And I don’t imagine you and Javier will want to live in a guesthouse for the rest of your lives. Visas don’t come cheap, either.”

Of course, she was right on all three counts. Horacio had a lot of on-the-job training ahead of him. He would effectively be starting from scratch again. But Chucho had welcomed him with open arms into his home and livelihood. It wasn’t implausible that if Horacio had ideas for the ranch, Chucho would take them on board.

They hadn't discussed living arrangements yet, but Horacio was confident neither he nor Javier had envisaged the guesthouse as a permanent solution. And then there was the small matter of Horacio’s visa. The paperwork upon which their future in Laredo hinged. He tried not to think about all the different ways it could go wrong or what they would do if it did. But that was a problem for another day. A problem that would no doubt be made easier with extra money in tow.

So, he ignored the whispering ghosts of his ancestors because his Mamá was right; he wasn’t doing this for his Papá. And he certainly wasn’t doing it for the people of Colombia, past or present.

“Okay,” he said in the end. “But only if Alejandra agrees to it, too.”

The sound of a throat being cleared caught them off guard and drew a temporary line under the conversation.

“Morning,” Javier greeted as he hovered by the kitchen door. “Hope I’m not interrupting.” Of course, he knew he was and an apology with his eyes was all he could offer Horacio for the time being.

“Good morning, Javier. And on the contrary! How do you feel about calentado?”

Whatever Javier had been expecting Elena’s response to be, for some reason, it wasn’t that. He looked towards Horacio for the slightest hint about what he had walked in on.

Horacio wanted to explain everything – and later he would – but for now, he ushered Javier to sit down.

“Er, sounds perfect, thanks,” Javier told Elena as his foot found Horacio’s under the table.

And as the three of them chatted and helped prepare breakfast, Horacio had to admit Javier was right.

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The coffee tour took up the rest of the morning. It was no wonder Horacio had always been particular on the subject when he knew which were the best beans and blends to be found in Colombia. He still had occasional pangs for his former life, but the weak instant shit the gringos brought with them to Carlos Holguín wasn’t one of them.

Naturally, the heavens opened before the end of the tour – bad for the tourists but good for the soil – and by the time they had returned to the finca, another shower was required.

They showered together, the finca empty for a change. Plus, they had nothing to hide anymore – at least not with the people that mattered the most. That hadn’t quite sunk in for Horacio even after he told Javier everything. Even when his last defences buckled, and he broke down in Javier's arms, letting himself be held. Even when he was kissing Javier, slow and deep, in his family’s bathroom, their breaths heavy and desperate in such a confined space.

One thing could easily have led to another as Horacio pinned Javier against the cold tiles, bare skin seeking out bare skin, emotions running high. There was no doubt they wanted it to, and in almost any other circumstance, it would have.

“Not here,” Horacio whispered, his voice shaking and his forehead falling against Javier’s as he was hit by a sudden clarity of thought. “I’m sorry.”

Javier hushed lightly, cradling Horacio against his shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.” He kissed across damp hair, running his fingers through thick strands that always became curlier when wet. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Light strokes soon morphed into lathered hands as Javier washed and rinsed Horacio’s hair, massaging the shampoo into his scalp and soothing away stubborn remnants of tension.

Although a niggling knot remained, an unspoken question and an uninitiated conversation. “When I was talking with my mother earlier…” Horacio began, closing his eyes and tilting his head back to let the hot jets cascade down his neck and shoulders.

Javier hummed in encouragement, his lips following the water droplets, enveloping Horacio in a blanket of warmth from all angles.

“She reassured me she wouldn’t be disappointed if I never had children.” Horacio let his words hang in the white noise of the shower, giving Javier time to adjust to the change of subject.

“Did you think she would be?”

“It crossed my mind. So much has been passed down through the Carrillo side of my family. From my Abuelo to my Papá. From my Papá to me.”

“Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but four of your nieces and nephews are around here somewhere.”

Horacio let out a light huff. “Like I could forget. But…they’re Alejandra’s, not mine.”

“I know. But I think you’re forgetting the real question here. Would you be disappointed?”

“Back when I was younger, when I was with Juliana, I might’ve said yes. More out of expectation than anything else. But with you…I think we ripped up and threw away the rule book a long time ago.”

“Thank fuck for that. We’ve never been very good at following rules anyway.”

It didn't take long for them both to laugh at such a flagrant understatement.

“So, you do feel the same then?” Horacio asked in earnest.

“I was less than an hour away from getting my very own white fucking picket fence. If I’d wanted it, I could’ve had it. But that wasn’t my idea of the American Dream.”

Horacio turned in Javier’s arms, and the last seed of doubt was finally plucked from his mind. His lips captured Javier’s again, a statement of intent for their future. A future they no longer had to hide from their families.

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Javier seated himself in the large wooden gazebo at the end of the garden, which doubled as a viewing platform over the steep valley below. For once, sunlight had won the battle against the mist, and the sky was a brilliant shade of blue. It made it possible to see for miles, giving the illusion of being high amongst the surrounding trees alongside the raucous birdlife living in their branches.

It was their penultimate morning in Manizales, upon which Javier had changed a habit of a lifetime by getting up with Horacio. They had penned in some sightseeing of the city later. But for now, Horacio had gone for his usual run, and Javier started the day with possibly the best coffee he had ever drunk.

“May I join you?”

Javier looked up from his cup and cleared his throat. “Oh, er, of course.”

As Elena sat down, the sun glinted off the silver jewellery bonded to Javier’s chest, making them squint at its reflection. He instinctively brought a hand to his neck in a fumbled effort to shove the crucifix beneath the open collar of his shirt.

“You don’t need to do that, you know.”

Fuck. He'd been busted.

However, Elena's voice contained no traces of judgment, and it quickly put Javier at ease. He lowered his hand to his knee, giving a brief bob of the head before taking another sip of coffee.

“I still wear these.” Elena raised her left hand, showing off a sparkling diamond ring above a plain gold band. “The amount of awkward questions about the whereabouts of my husband these have caused over the years. Yet I still can’t bring myself to take them off. Although…”

With her right hand, she took hold of the top ring and wiggled it off her finger, then did the same with the second ring, with more force required this time.

Javier wasn’t sure what was happening until the dappled morning light fell on the inside of the ring he held up to his face.

Suerte que encontré a mi media naranja

(Lucky that I found my soulmate)

“It’s beautiful.”

“Eduardo wasn’t a man of many words, but he had his moments.” Elena’s smile took on a wistful appearance as Javier passed the ring back.

“My Pops is the same with his wedding ring. He insists on wearing it every day, which isn’t really compatible with the day job.”

“I can imagine. I hear it became Horacio’s day job, too?”

“Yeah,” Javier said with an involuntary grin. “I know it might be hard to believe, and I know it’s not what he expected, but it suits him.” Literally as well figuratively, he managed to stop himself from blurting out.

“I can’t remember him ever saying he wanted to be anything other than a police officer. My parents ran a textile business, and Eduardo’s mother was a nurse. But Horacio followed his father, who followed his father like it was their birthright. I always worried about Eduardo, especially if he was running late or was called to an emergency. Then it was the same with Horacio, too. So much blood spilt on our doorsteps, on our streets, in our churches.”

Elena promptly picked up her cup, the balm of hot fruit tea required before she could continue.

“Whenever the phone rang – or I heard a knock at the door – I prepared for the worst. It happened to so many friends and neighbours. So why not my husband or son? Of course, it was Eduardo’s heart in the end. But once Search Bloc made Horacio a walking target, it was only a matter of time. I’d spent years expecting it, but what I hadn’t accounted for in all of my fretting, pacing, and prayers…was you.”

“Me?”

“He told me what you did. How much trouble you and your partner got in for it. How you got injured yourself. How…you saved my son and his men.”

“We couldn’t save them all,” was Javier’s sole response to the lashings of praise he still wasn’t convinced he truly deserved in light of how the ambush came about in the first place.

“You saved more than your superiors were willing to, by the sounds of it.”

Javier scoffed. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

“Good. And as for the ranch…he’s always liked to keep busy. Just like his father, he could never sit still and relax for long. I can see it. I bet he looks the part.”

“He does, actually.” That was allowed, Javier told himself.

“I thought something had changed after his injury, even if he wouldn’t tell us much. I hoped he’d seen sense, but I knew he was prepared to die for that mission of his – that obsession. I’d almost accepted it, to be honest, especially without Eduardo around to stop him. So, when he told me he’d quit, you were the only reason that made sense.”

“Ever since my Mamá passed, I tried to change things – or control them, at least. Anything to not feel that…helpless again. But it didn’t work like that. Walking away was the only choice left.”

“But it was a choice you both made. That can’t have been easy. I may not have known you very long, but it’s already clear to me you’re good for each other.”

“Even though I’m a gringo?”

“We all have our flaws.” Not only did Elena catch the humour in Javier’s eyes, but she matched and surpassed it with her own. “But to answer your question properly…I would say the complicated histories of our homelands have more in common than meets the eye.”

Javier hummed as he had flashbacks to high school of learning about Laredo starting life as a Spanish colonial settlement before a bloody tug-of-war between Mexico and America – and independence from both – had broken out. There was no denying he had benefited from certain privileges of owning an American passport, and he’d always accepted the gringo label without much pushback. But deep down, he knew it was only half the story.

“You’ve shown each other new paths,” Elena continued. “Safer and happier ones. And that’s what counts.”

“Not quite sure what my new path is yet, to be honest. I’ve spent so long running away from Laredo. I’ve forgotten what it means to live there.”

“It took me a long time to accept my place was here now rather than Medellín. Whenever there was a bombing, or a shooting, or a kidnapping, I had to stop myself from getting on a plane. But Horacio worried I’d be a target because of him. He didn’t want me there. And what could I have done anyway?” Elena let out a self-deprecating huff at the mere thought.

“You wanted to protect your son.”

“Yes. But it wasn’t just that. Medellín was my home and my work. And many of Eduardo’s friends and colleagues were killed. Their wives were sisters to me after his death. But I couldn’t return the favour from down here. Not in the same way, at least. I sent cards, flowers, food parcels, even money sometimes. But it never felt enough.”

“It never does.”

“No. It doesn’t. But I did what I could. And being there for Alejandra and the kids made me feel useful. I got involved with the church again. Worked for a small charity. Even though we’ve been protected from the violence here, the repercussions of it spread far and wide. So many displaced families in need. At least I was making a difference somewhere.”

“I thought I was making a difference. And maybe sometimes I was. But I don’t think it was ever really my fight.”

“Perhaps not. But maybe it helped lead you to the right one.”

“Maybe.”

Javier’s mind drifted back to the family history his Pops told him over the phone in Madrid, not just about his Mamá but his grandparents too. Not to mention all his Pops had done for the local community over the years. He thought of the stories Señora Romero had shared and the kindness she had shown him and Horacio. They had all made a difference in their own ways. And they had done it without leaving their cities, let alone their countries.

As Elena excused herself to ensure Mateo and Sofía weren’t starting another civil war in the kitchen, Javier nursed his coffee cup and surveyed the meandering scenery below. For the first time since he told Stechner to go fuck himself, he could see the outline of a path emerging in front of him. He wasn’t exactly sure where it was leading yet, but at least it was something. Something closer to home.

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Their last day in Manizales came faster than Horacio had expected, presumably a side effect of waiting for the other shoe to drop any minute. Miraculously, it never did.

“Knock knock.”

Horacio looked up from the bed where he was wrestling with the zip of his suitcase – and currently losing. “Morning.” Another tug, but it wouldn’t shift. “You just gonna watch me?”

“Because you’re usually so good at accepting help.” With a dry smile and shake of the head, Alejandra came to the rescue with less heavy-handedness than her brother, unjamming the zip in seconds.

“I’m better than I was.”

“Can’t argue with that.”

“And thank you, by the way.” Horacio stood up, lifting the case from the bed and bringing himself face-to-face with his sister. “For everything.”

Alejandra nodded, maintaining eye contact with Horacio long enough to be distracted by the sunlight dancing across the gold chain around his neck. “It suits you.”

“Thanks. Better than it collecting dust in a box.”

“I don’t just mean the necklace.”

The subtle glow of Horacio's pupils mirrored Alejandra's before he stepped forward, pulling her into a tight embrace. “Take care of yourself, okay?” He leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head.

“You too. And don’t leave it so long next time.”

“We won’t. I promise.”

“If it helps, I can sweeten the deal with a stay at one of the hot springs around here. They’re always giving me freebies for supplying their coffee. One of them has private thermal pools and everything.”

“You don’t have to bribe me to visit.” However, the thought of it being him, Javier, and a jacuzzi was enough for him to re-think his position on taking bribes. “Plus, I wanna see what you do with the place.”

“So you can take inspiration?”

Horacio rolled his eyes. “You wish. If you think you can handle the Texan climate, you know where we’ll be.”

“Don’t worry, I can and I will.”

“We about ready?” Javier appeared in the doorway with the rest of their luggage, pausing at the threshold. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt.” Again.

“It’s okay; your boyfriend was just inviting us all to the ranch.”

It had only been an innocuous comment, but Alejandra managed to stop both men in their tracks with one word, a bashful look passing between them at the novelty of it.

“Oh, er, that’s great. The more the merrier.” Javier recovered just in time, although the flush in his cheeks showed no sign of abating. “My Pops always makes enough food for the population of Texas, so you’d be more than welcome.”

“Likewise here, Javier. As long as you bring more aguardiente next time.” She winked and drew him in for a hug.

“I think that can be arranged.” Javier broke away first so he could look at Alejandra properly. “And thank you…for everything this week.”

Alejandra gave a bob of the head once more, her smile widening as she glanced from Javier to Horacio, the depth of their gratitude beyond words but written all over their faces. “It’s what big sisters are for.”

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After eating enough breakfast to last them for most of their journey to Medellín – the rest supplemented by Elena’s homemade empanadas and cocadas – they were stood back on the front porch again.

There was a chorus of goodbyes this time, ones that didn’t have the foreboding air of finality about them as they had done in the past.

Horacio allowed his Mamá to clutch him with all her strength, the scent of her perfume transporting him straight back to childhood.

“You take care of each other, you hear? And keep me updated on your visa. You know where I am if you need anything.”

“Don’t worry, Mamá. I will.”

“Y no olvide su español.” (And don’t forget your Spanish)

“No lo haré, Mamá.” (I won’t, Mamá) Horacio barely managed to suppress a tone of amused exasperation, given that he had been surrounded by almost as many Spanish voices in Laredo as in Colombia.

“Javier, you heard all of that. So, don’t let him forget.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Javier received the same treatment as Horacio with a bracing hug.

“Don’t be a stranger, Mijo. And don’t fret about finding that path. Just remember to follow your heart.”

------------------------------------------------------

The light was fading fast, leaving behind a watercolour blend of ambers, yellows and reds that blazed against a backdrop of purple haze and the ethereal silhouette of ancient mountains. The glimmer of city life below felt distant, as though they had left this world altogether and now lived above the clouds.

Which was fine by them as they caught their breath; Horacio draped over Javier’s lap in the passenger’s seat, the culmination of their release glistening across their stomachs.

“Just like old times,” Horacio panted as trails of kisses became interspersed with heady laughter.

“Well, not exactly.” Javier’s thumb and forefinger delicately held the silver and gold pendants at their chests before untangling the chains that had become knotted during their tryst.

“No.” Horacio brought his forehead to meet Javier’s, an instant tonic to the painful twinge gripping their hearts as memories of their last visit to this spot resurfaced. “I told you we’d make up for lost time this past week, though.”

“Yeah, I figured you meant in the hotel. Or even back in Madrid. Not the minute you parked up in Medellín.”

“Like you were complaining.”

“Fuck, no, I wasn’t. Less likely to be overheard up here than in the hotel anyway.”

Once Horacio had regained enough feeling in his limbs to dismount and sit back in the driver’s seat, Javier reached for the glove box. He took out their emergency stash of cigarettes and lit up.

Horacio attempted to clean himself up as best he could and did the same for Javier. “So, this is why you brought those with us.” He nodded towards the cigarettes.

“Obviously.” Javier took a long drag and exhaled with a deep sigh, his body latching on quickly to the nicotine, his mind still blitzed.

They passed their shared smoke back and forth in comfortable silence, basking in their afterglows and the aftermath of the last few days.

“You still like it up here then?” Horacio asked after stubbing out the butt in the ashtray between them.

“Yeah, I do. Don’t think I’ve ever seen it looking so beautiful.”

“Me neither. Funny how the same view can look completely different in a new light.”

Javier hummed in agreement, their gaze now fixed on each other rather than the windshield, the irony not lost that they were back in the same spot where it could easily all have ended.

"I can think of a way to make it even better, though.”

“Go on.”

In a flurry of movement, Javier zipped up his jeans, pulled on his shirt and got out of the car. He rustled around in the trunk until he retrieved a couple of spare towels they had packed for emergencies, along with their jackets. It wasn’t quite the thick blanket from the ranch, but at least it was a mild night.

They sprawled out on the grass behind the car, lying atop the towels and wrapped in their jackets. Javier propped his head on a folded sweater with Horacio resting against his chest at an angle that allowed them both to take in the cityscape below.

“How about we just stay here forever?” Javier rasped between slow, sensual kisses.

Horacio moaned against Javier’s lips as he went back for more. “Don’t tempt me. At least we didn’t book an early flight tomorrow.”

“Good point.” Another string of kisses, each more addictive than the last.

“Although,” Horacio began once they had calmed down, his fingers tracing patterns across Javier’s torso, "we’ve got a lot to sort out once we’re back in Madrid.”

“I know. But at least we ripped off the band-aid.” One of Javier’s hands found Horacio’s and slotted their fingers together.

“I spent so much energy worrying about this trip; I was almost expecting something bad to happen.”

Javier raised their linked hands to his mouth and brushed his lips over Horacio’s knuckles. “But it didn’t.”

“No. In fact…I think I know what I want to do with the money.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If you and your father agree to it, that is. And I can find a good lawyer.”

Javier lifted his head slightly and turned in Horacio's direction, urging him to continue.

“I was thinking….what if we bought the corn farm? The three of us, I mean.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yeah. I think I am.” Horacio couldn’t help but laugh now he’d said it out loud. “Like I said, I’d need to check everything with a lawyer about my visa first. But there is an option for investors. And you still have some of your money from the ranch, right?”

“Yeah, I do. And obviously, you can count me in. But…shit, Horacio. Are you sure? I mean, it’s your inheritance.”

“It's nothing Alejandra isn't doing with her share. And well, if your father bought it outright, an empty cottage would go to waste on our doorstep. Last I looked, it needed a bit of maintenance, but it wasn’t in bad shape.”

Now, it was Javier’s turn to laugh. “Got it all figured out, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“It’s funny, ‘cos, er...I’ve been thinking, too. About something your Mamá said.”

“About what?”

“About looking closer to home for a new path. And I think I might have found it.”

------------------------------------------------------

They only meant to stay until they got too cold, but their shared body heat let them doze until sunrise. The watercolour skyline re-emerged from behind the mountain tops, gradually bathing Medellín in a heavenly half-light, stirring them awake as it reached their hideaway.

The plan was to freshen up and have breakfast at the hotel before dropping off the hire car and heading to the airport after lunch. But there was something Horacio needed to do whilst the city wasn’t fully awake, whilst the low sun felt like a gift from God Himself.

As they pulled up a stone’s throw away from Horacio’s old family church – a few blocks down from his childhood home and former apartment that Trujillo had cleared after his hasty exit from Carlos Holguín – Javier hesitated, unsure if this was something Horacio needed to do alone.

“Come with me,” Horacio said after stepping out of the car as though he had read Javier’s mind. “Please.”

That was all the confirmation Javier needed to follow.

They walked silently along a well-kept pathway that forked off in multiple directions. It was maze-like and disorientating, but Horacio took purposeful strides despite how long it had been since his last visit.

He halted at a large marble slate engraved with a crucifix and the CNP emblem. There were some dried old flowers in a vase at the base of it, where Horacio knelt down and swapped them for the fresh bunch of marigolds he’d carried from the car.

“A gift from Mamá,” he whispered. “She’ll be back again soon.”

Horacio remained on the grass and brought his hands up to the back of his neck, where he unhooked the gold chain. He studied it between his fingers, then clasped it in his palm and bowed his head.

The cemetery was empty at this time in the morning, the loud rustling in the trees drowning out the murmur of traffic beginning to burst into life.

Javier watched wordlessly a few feet behind Horacio, almost beginning to feel like he was intruding.

“Pray with me.”

“Are you sure? What if someone –”

“I’m sure. No one’s here but us.”

Javier checked around them once, then twice, just in case. Even if someone did happen to come by, two men praying over a grave wasn’t exactly the most compromising position they could be found in. But it was better to be safe than sorry.

Once satisfied, Javier joined Horacio on the grass. They couldn’t get away with how they had done this in private, but Horacio dropped his right hand to the floor beside him, palm outstretched.

Javier took the hint and discreetly placed his left hand over the top, encasing the gold necklace between them.

With heads lowered and eyes closed, they prayed. An unspoken acknowledgement of all they had lost and how it had led them here. They honoured memories made, those that would never be, and those they could still make together despite everything.

Horacio’s eyes fluttered open as the sunlight fell on the headstone above him, forcing him to blink away a glassy sheen. His hand stayed connected with Javier’s on the earth, his present and future by his side, giving him strength to finally make peace with his past.

He rose to his feet and made the sign of the cross on his chest before running his fingers along the embossed letters of his father’s name. “Te quiero mucho, Papá.”

Javier gave as much time as was needed until risking a gentle squeeze of Horacio’s shoulder. “You ready?”

Horacio looked from the gravestone to Javier, the charcoal of his irises burning with the fire of conviction. “I’m ready.”

#Narcos fic #Narcos #Javier Peña #Horacio Carrillo #Carrillo #Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo #Pedro Pascal #Maurice Compte #Narcos fanfic #Narcos fanfiction #Narcos fan fic #My Fan Fic #My Narcos Fic

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littlefoxwithadagger · 5 months

Text

Zee's 2023 Reads

Stats:

Books read ˋ°•*⁀➷ 62

Books DNFed ˋ°•*⁀➷ 9

Five-star reads ˋ°•*⁀➷ 23

Note: ☆ counts as a half star, since there isn’t a half star emoji

I tried not to tag any books I didn’t like because I don’t like to hate on books in their fandom tags, so if I accidentally tagged something I have a bad review, please tell me 😭

This list is chaos and I defintely ripped into some of these books because I hated them. Be warned. (I’m sorry ACOTAR fans. Maybe don’t read this if that’s your favorite book series. I didn’t hate them, but I certainly had quite a few criticisms.)

Also, if you see the reviews start to get way longer in October, that’s because I started this post in October, so everything I read after that was reviewed immediately after reading.

↳ March (2)

Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard

March 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I read this by request of my aunt (it's her favorite book series) and honestly it was just kinda boring and not my taste...not to mention the ending REALLY pissed me off. The whole powers thing was kinda cool, but the dystopian main plot was kind of generic? Which is fine, but this was kind of bland for a first book. Will not be finishing the series.

Glass Sword - Victoria Aveyard

March 10th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This is the sequel to Red Queen, and frankly I think I read about three chapters of it before I DNFed. The main reason I DNFed this was because of the ending of the first book. I won’t go into detail about it because it spoils the end of the first book, but after my favorite character was taken away from me, I couldn’t finish this series.

Overall, I think this series had great potential but bad execution. I may try to read it again in the new year just to give the entire series a proper, full review, but at the time that I read this, I wasn’t into reading much at all and therefore couldn’t read a book just to say I’d read it.

↳ May (7)

Les Misérables - Victor Hugo

May 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

By far my favorite classic thanks to my mom encouraging me to read it. Loads of beautiful prose and a compelling plot line. I especially liked how he wove a bunch of stories that seemed not at all connected into one. Jean Valjean was a very complicated character, and I enjoyed following his story as it progressed. It felt very full-circle, even if the ending was a bit sad. The author took us all over France, and I felt very immersed in the world even though there was no visual for it. I also appreciated seeing the side characters grow over the length of the story. There were quite a few side characters who got a full arc despite not needing it. I'll probably reread this someday, just not now.

Flip the Script - Lyla Lee

May 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is a cute sapphic love story between two teenage actresses starring together in a Korean drama. Fun fact - I didn't realize it was sapphic for a good while and was confused why sexuality was a hot topic in the book. Whoops! Cute anyways, and the plotline kept me interested.

The Selection - Kiera Cass

May 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was my first reread of the year! I read this book back in 2021 originally by request of a friend. Rereading it was a bit of a let-down. I found the main girl annoying at times and overall the plot just kinda felt...meh. I will say that I was a bit disappointed that Maxon was the main guy at first because I really loved Aspen, but I think Maxon grew on me quite a bit more towards the end of this book. It was also easier for me to love him on the reread because I’d followed the full story already, so I think I appreciated his character more on this read than I did on the first read. I'm also not huge into dystopian, so that did kill my enjoyment of this a bit.

The Elite - Kiera Cass

May 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To continue my Selection reread, I read this. This book was better than the first one, though some of it was just very boring if I'm remembering correctly. It was nice to have a smaller group of girls and get to see them getting to know each other better, and this alone made the book more enjoyable than the last. I think the political tension upped a bit in this book, which I didn’t really like, but it did lead to quite a few great scenes between America and Maxon.

The One - Kiera Cass

May 28th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To complete the Selection reread, I read this. This was by far the best book in the trilogy. It was fun and full of action, and Maxon and America finally got themselves together. There was a great love confession from Maxon at the very end which will forever have my heart. Five stars just for making me swoon honestly. There were a few things that frustrated me in this book, such as the fact that America and Maxon still didn’t seem to trust each other for a lot of this book, but that’s their problem, not mine. I definitely enjoyed the scene where America saw Maxon’s scars for the first time. It was a very sweet scene, and I love emotional vulnerability between characters. 💔

Honorable mention - The Heir - Kiera Cass

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book sucked to put it frankly. I recall enjoying it the first time I read it, but upon reread I found the main character entirely unbearable (making America look like a saint) and I think I made it about ten pages before deciding it wasn't worth the reread. I wish I didn't own this book.

The Love Hypothesis - Ali Hazelwood

May 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was what really got me back into reading, and I'd been wanting to read it for months after hearing about it all over the internet. I gave it four stars at the time because I cringed a bit at the number of times the main girl referred to the main guy as "big" or something of the sort but overall found it enjoyable. Honestly, I'd probably rate this lower if I re-read it, but I'm not going to bother testing that theory. It got me back into picking up books, and that's what matters.

↳ June (9)

A Court of Thorns and Roses - Sarah J. Maas

June 10th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book...was disappointing. This was the first book I bought from the store without reading it first because the internet had me so convinced I'd enjoy it. I didn't. I found myself so bored I didn't bother reading past page 100 before I returned the book to the store. I don't really have much to say about it other than it was boring, honestly. Feyre also annoyed me a decent bit.

The Romantics - Leah Konen

June 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book had the same problem as ACOTAR, only far worse. This book felt like it had absolutely no substance, and I read at least half of it. The entire book was narrated by the entity of Love, and all of the characters we got introduced to were only ever surface-level. I felt like I was watching a bunch of strangers interact with each other. Perhaps it was just that young teenage romance isn’t really my cup of tea, but I found the plot entirely uninteresting.

Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

June 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My babyyyyyyyyyy <3 My bread and butter, the reason I got into fantasy books. Definitely not as compelling as the second book, but compelling nonetheless. Jacks and Evangeline have insane tension and it was overall just great. I absolutely loved the whole kisses deal, though I’ll admit this book was NOT what I thought it was. When I picked it up, I was expecting Jacks to be an actual prince, and I was quite surprised to find that he was more of a demigod. Either way, it was a great book, and if you love romantacy, I’d recommend this for SURELY. (I’m biased, can’t you tell? This is a OUBAH blog, after all.)

The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

June 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'd give this book six stars if I could. This entire book was just pining and drama, and I live for it. Not to mention...the Hollow? Yes. Yes, yes yes. Everything about this book, yes. The curses in this book were completely crazy, and I felt like we got a lot more world building in this book. The entire world felt a lot more complete in this book, and we really got to start to piece together Jacks’s backstory. Lovely.

One True Loves - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I'm pretty sure I actually read this book last year, but it got put into my book tracker in July so I'm leaving it here. This was a cutsey little romance about a girl who goes on a cruise in Europe. I don't remember much about it, but I remember loving the two main characters and the realtionship they had with each other.

Happily Ever Afters - Elise Bryant

June 21st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Pretty sure this is the book before One True Loves? They're in the same series, I know that. This was a cutsey little book about a baker guy and a writer girl who ended up at the same high school. Absolutely loved the character growth the main character had over the course of the book.

In Order to Live - Yeonmi Park

June 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a biography written by a woman who escaped North Korea. It was truly an amazing read, and this is the one book I cried while reading this year! I would definitely recommend this to anyone because it is extremely informative while also being very immersive.

Caraval - Stephanie Garber

June 27th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Back to Stephaine Garber! Honestly, I started reading this series for Jacks, but the first book is something entirely on its own. I absolutely loved Julian and Scarlett, and I'll be rereading this again soon. The book very much immersed the reader, and I felt like I was a player in Caraval myself. There was so much fun to be had in this book, and honestly it could just be read as a stand-alone.

Legendary - Stephanie Garber

June 31st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I drove all the way to the other side of town to get this book, that's how good the first one was. This book was less enjoyable than the first, but the plot was extremely compelling. Sadly, I’m not a huge fan of Tella, so I struggled to immerse myself in this book the way I got immersed in Caraval.

↳ July (11)

(Was I ok in July? How many books is this, Zee?)

Finale - Stephanie Garber

July 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jacks. That's about all I have to say about this book.

Sugar, Spice, and Can’t Play Nice - Annika Sharma

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Not sure why, but I decided to dump $16? $17? on this when I went to Barnes and Noble with a friend, so I had to finish it. There was a tad too much sexual tension and not enough romance between the main characters for my taste, but it was a good book. I especially enjoyed that the author did so much with her own culture in the book. Both of the characters learned the importance of truly connecting with someone over the course of the book, and I thought it was lovely.

The Spanish Love Deception - Elena Armas

July 2nd, ⭐️⭐️, DNF

This book was...something. I - yet again - purchased a book without reading it first. Learned my lesson this time. I have honestly no idea what this book is about because I read only fifty pages of it and there was...too much of her referring to him as "big" and "tall". I get it. He's tall and wide. Can we please discuss why you hate him? I'd love to know, really. Perhaps this book is for you if you like extreme sexualization of tall, buff men, but it’s not for me.

The Inheritance Games - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

July 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Queen. Puzzles and drama galore, and I love the boys. That's really all I have to say about this. I LOVE puzzles so this book was a big hit with me. Avery is a little genius and I appreciate it, and I also loved getting to see her adapt to her new life.

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

July 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This read is courtesy of my bestie. She had not finished the series when she recommended it. Still hasn't. (Nani, this is a plea for you to finish it.) I don't recall much of the book, honestly, but the plot was good enough for me to rate it four and a half stars, so...?

The Wicked King - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Cardan and Jude...on the couch...with- ahem. I mean what. What was this book about? Also I love the way Cardan speaks. He’s very formally-spoken and I love that for him.

The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

July 11th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

yESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. This entire book. The ENDING??? Insane. How do I not remember any of the plot of these books besides the end of this one? We'll never know.

Skin of the Sea - Natasha Bowen

July 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was probably pretty great. I personally found the introduction to the plot a bit dragging and it lost my interest because of this, but it sounded like it would eventually be a good and intriguing plot. I may eventually pick this back up, but currently there are other books I am actually excited to read, so for now this will be only a DNF.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

July 17th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️, DNF

Ahem...this was actually a great book, despite the DNF and star rating. I DNFed this book because it was too gorey, but I'm currently attempting to finish it. The writing is beautiful and the characters are very compelling. The tension between the main characters is lovely. I'm hoping to give this five stars when I finally finish it.

Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

July 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Delicious. A heist, six morally grey characters, lots of fighting and tension - both romantic and plot-wise. Absolutely ate up the characters' backstories. I love a good trauamtic backstory. I was reading fanfics about this book before I even finished reading it, that's how good the character building was. (Sadly I got a ton of the plot spoiled for me between this book and the next because I decided to join the online fandom before finishing the books. I will NOT make that mistake again.)

How the King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories - Holly Black

July 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A goofy short read about Cardan. I love him. That's it.

(Zee said no reading during birthday month apparently? Was I spending too much time being lovesick over my coworker? We'll never know.)

↳ September (6)

The Forgetting - Sharon Cameron

September 1st, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book surprised me. I had no idea what it was about going into it, and I was entirely surprised. Apparently it's dystopian? Sci-fi? Who knew? (not me) Anyways, I loved the two main characters, and the plot was extremely creative. This is definitely going to be a re-read next year. Sadly, the sequel was not about this pair of characters, so I didn’t end up reading it.

Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well, this is a funny story. I put in a request at the library for this book in July, having about zero clue what it was about beyond dragons. I was intrigued, of course, because I LOVE dragons. By the time I got my hands on the book, I'd heard many reviews about how awful the book was. I was convinced I'd hate it, but of course, I had to read it because I waited TWO MONTHS for it. It took a few pages for me to be interested, but it was a VERY good book. I love Xaden. I will kiss him on the head. This got four stars because those smut scenes GAGGED me (and not in a good way), but I have since read worse smut, so perhaps this will be a five-star someday. The smut was truly something, though. I sat on the couch and sobbed from laughter while reading them.

The Stolen Heir - Holly Black

September 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...gorey, honestly. But other than that, a great read. Both main characters are very compelling, and I adore Oak. Sweetest boy. I can't wait to read the second book. It really took us a lot farther into the world of Elfhame, and I appreciated the book for that.

Lightlark - Alex Aster

September 16th, ☆, DNF

I truly wish I could just say "No." and move on with this list, but this book was probably the worst book I've ever read. I read three pages and was so extremely confused that I couldn't continue. To confuse me that awfully in the first three pages of a book is a feat, I'll give her that. I would not recommend this book to anyone, and generally I believe that everything has an audience. I'm sorry if you're a fan of this book, but I just...can't.

Fireworks - Alice Lin

September 20th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cute book about a girl and her childhood best friend turned Kpop star when they finally reunite at age 18. Soooo much romantic tension, and I loved how the book dealt with mental health. I hope these two live happily ever after.

Reread - Fourth Wing - Rebecca Yarros

September 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yes, I reread it a week after I read it. Sue me. It was a good book. I’ll be rereading it again when my holiday edition shows up.

↳ October (8)

Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli

October 5th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This is going on the list of cutesy sapphic books that make me cry. Absolutely loved the way the realtionship between the two main characters developed, and I thought it did a good job about commenting on what it means to be queer. Also, arguably the best college friend group ever in this book. I'm jealous.

When You Wish Upon a Lantern - Gloria Chao

October 6th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book was ok. It was cute, but I found it slightly boring. I will say it was very good for a first-person dual POV book, which I usually hate and refuse to read.

Assistant to the Villain - Hannah Nicole Maehrer

October 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a funny read, because I expected to hate read it, but it had me kicking and screaming, especially the ending. I was so insanely upset when I realized it was a trilogy (mostly because the ending was absolutely jarring and I didn’t expect it to end on a cliffhanger), but at the same time I'm glad this isn't the last we'll see of these characters. I love books where the villains are villains because they felt like that was all they could be. I love. Beyond all of this, I simply enjoyed to see all the characters interact with each other, and I felt like the author did a good job of humanizing all the characters. Not to mention Kingsley. He’s arguably my favorite character despite having no real lines in the book.

The Hawthorne Legacy - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Puzzles, Hawthorne boys, and...strip bowling (I forgot about this scene until a coworker told me she didn't read the book because there was stripping in it. I laughed.) Anyways I loved Jameson and Avery in this book and that's about all I have to say.

The Final Gambit - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

October 18th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok I’m going to be completely honest this book was one huge blur and it almost felt disconnected from the rest of the series. Don’t get me wrong, it was GREAT, but it was like complete whiplash while simultaneously tying up all the loose ends we had in the last two books. Also *spoilers* but JamesonAvery endgame YAYYYYYY.

Reread - Once Upon a Broken Heart - Stephanie Garber

October 19th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I reread this in preparation for the third book and it took me a month to read. Idk man.

Reread - The Ballad of Never After - Stephanie Garber

October 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good soup. Send me to the Hollow, please.

A Curse for True Love - Stephanie Garber

October 24th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*ahem* drum roll please… 🥁🥁🥁 …LOVELY!! Evajacks kiss. This is all I wanted. Also his dimples. And Archer. And- Ok enough about that. To actually review this book, I think it was a great wrap-up of the series. The book had an amazing vibe, and I loved how the first half of the book felt shrouded in mystery since we spent the majority of the time in Evangeline’s head. I read this entire book in one five-hour sitting, completely skipping all the homework I had to do that night just so I could read this IMMEDIATELY. It was totally worth it. I also just loved seeing Jacks as the tortured man I always knew he was. Yes bby be so tortured. Now kiss.

↳ November (8)

A Court of Mist and Fury - Sarah J. Maas

November 3rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was...a book. It had potential to be a great book in the first 100 pages, but somewhere along the way it got kind of insane. Honestly, I feel like it should've been two books. It was over 600 pages and yet I found most of the scenes were a bit too short. Also, there were too many location changes, and this book is where the bad smut truly is. I couldn't even read the smut scenes...I can usually tolerate them. (Is it clear I don't like smut?). The first half of the book set up this lovely dynamic between Rhys and Feyre that I loved and showed me this new, fun world of the Night Court. I only wish that I’d enjoyed the second half of the book as much as I did the first. The second half didn’t get enough development and kind of just all ran together, which sucked. I would’ve given this four stars if the second half had had better pacing.

Honorable mention - The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black

November 8th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*cough* *cough* ahem. I reread like half this book for the scenes between Cardan and Jude…especially a specific scene in chapter 21 (if you know you know) and also the ending <3 yes queen get your ma-

Iron Flame - Rebecca Yarros

November 12th , ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(I just finished this book right before I started typing this so excuse my screaming) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR. HANDS DOWN. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING ENDING AND I LOVE YOU REBECCA YARROS. If you like fantasy, I’d recommend this book. (Also rep for the messed up joints girlies 🙏🏼) I love Xaden and Violet sm.

These Violent Delights - Chloe Gong

November 14th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was very good. Great prose, amazing characters, original plot. I only didn’t give it five stars because I personally felt just a bit disconnected from the story. I didn’t really feel all that stressed by the plot, though this may have been because I only had four hours to read the book. Overall, it was a great book and I’ll be reading the sequel when I have time. (Also, coming off the Iron Flame high does make this book a bit less fascinating.)

Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

November 15th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

After four months, I finally bring myself to finish this. A masterpiece. I didn’t want to leave this world, and yet I finally had to. The entire crew has my heart, and that ending broke me. I wanted so badly to simply not read it and make sure it didn’t happen, but here we are. Our gang all got their not-quite-happily-ever-after, and this may or may not have been the only book to make me cry ever. (That’s not true, but I can’t remember which other book I cried at. Perhaps it was my own.) Five stars. I will be returning to this duology someday to reabsorb the masterpiece that it is.

Drizzle, Dreams, and Lovestruck Things - Maya Prasad

November 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was pretty good. The sisters had a cute relationship and the inn was fun. The book was split into four parts - one for each sister - and personally I enjoyed the first two the best. The third one was also pretty cute, but the last one…I didn’t connect with the character as well, and her plot seemed to drag. I actually stopped reading like 3 pages before the end because the plot was basically over like 20 pages before and it was just focusing on side characters. I think I’m just not a huge fan of slice of life in book form, so if you like that, then this book is for you. I have the sequel sitting on my shelf, but I might just take it back to the library at this point.

A Court of Wings and Ruin - Sarah J. Maas

November 23rd, ⭐️⭐️

This book was way too long, to put it bluntly. I considered DNFing it a number of times, and the plot just seemed to drag on. I don’t understand what Maas has against question marks, either. I can’t tell you how many times I read a question in here that ended with a period. I’m not sure whether it was supposed to emphasize tone or what she was trying to do, but it was extremely irritating and distracting. I didn’t notice this happening in the other two books, but maybe I just missed it. The only reason I finished this book was so that I could read ACOSF with full context because I do love Cassian and Nesta, but otherwise I probably would’ve DNFed about 2/3 of the way in. The fandom wasn’t kidding when they said ACOMAF was the best book in the series. I’m only glad I finished this because of the Nessian scene we got at the end 💔 my heart cried.

A Court of Silver Flames - Sarah J. Maas

November 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

To my surprise and delight, this book has question marks!!! Yayyy!!! To start this review off, I’ll begin by saying - Sarah finally got a decent review out of me. I really enjoyed this book except for a few small details. Now, that may just be because I love Cassian and Nesta, but I consider it a win that she wrote two characters that I LOVE.

That being said, this book made me dislike Rhysand even more than I already did. I’m not sure what it is about him, but I find him a bit intolerable. I won’t dwell on this point, but I found him especially irritating in relation to the Feyre B-plot. Oof. That in combination with the ridiculous number of smut scenes made me knock this down a star. I was fine with them at first, but then it just became too much. Google says there were only 7 smut scenes in the book, but I swear there were more. This is just a personal gripe and nothing against the book or its readers, but it certainly downgraded my enjoyment of it.

Beyond that, I really loved the tension between Cassian and Nesta, and I also enjoyed seeing the two of them work through their issues. They’re extremely sweet and I love them. One thing though - Sarah, why did you tease a mating ceremony for like three pages and then we don’t even get to see it??? Miss ma’am at the very least I wanted to see Cassian being all sweet as they consummated the mating or whatever. But instead we get another scene of someone crying over Feyre’s painting??? COME ON!!! This will probably be the only time I’ll rate an SJM book over 3 stars.

↳ December (11)

The Brothers Hawthorne - Jennifer Lynn Barnes

December 2nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

To start this off, I was completely thrilled to read a book about the boys. Don’t get me wrong, I love Avery, but the three youngest Hawthorne brothers have always piqued my interest more. I honestly didn’t think a book in this series could be better than the others, but there was something about this book that was even more incredible than the trilogy. This book was even better than I thought it would be. I expected to enjoy Jameson’s part of the story even more than Grayson’s part, but I actually found myself enjoying getting to know Grayson quite a bit more. (Don’t get me wrong, I loved Jameson’s part of the story, but this book made me love Gray a lot more.). I’d give this book six stars if I could. Absolutely lovely and completely compelling read, and I love all the new characters we’re introduced to. I do hope that someday we get a book about Xander and Nash, but for now, this will quench my Hawthorne thirst. I definitely have a new favorite Hawthorne though (sorry Jameson). I will kiss Gray-

The Half-Life of Love - Brianna Bourne

December 9th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Uh so to put it simply. I hated this book (in the best way possible). I don’t know why I read this. I knew how it would end from the start, but it intrigued me enough that I read it anyways!!?? Haha. I sobbed at the ending. I never want to think about this book again. I loved the characters but I hated the plot. That’s it. (I will also say this book dealt HEAVILY with death and was very heavy so. Yeah. Be warned.) Update after a week of processing: I actually loved this book a lot, but it broke my heart. I loved the character development that Flint went through over the course of the book, and it absolutely broke me that that was the end. I may change my star rating for this before I officially post this, but for now it stays at 3 for hurting me.

Fireborne - Rosaria Munda

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️☆, DNF

This book was…odd, to say the least. It had potential, but something about the world building felt off to me. Perhaps it’s just not my vibe. My main gripe with it has to be the characters’ names. Some of them had very modern names, some of them had very old names, and some of them only went by extremely weird nicknames. The names alone took me out of the immersion of the world, because every time I’d finally get into it, I’d read a name and go oh, yeah, this is a book. It took me about a week to decide to DNF this, but after reading so many books I genuinely enjoyed, I just couldn’t force myself to finish it.

Greymist Fair - Francesca Zappia

December 16th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This was one of my most anticipated reads of the season. I saw the cover at the library and was like oh, yeah, that’ll be a good read. I didn’t even read the summary. Turns out, I was so right. The book kind of has similar vibes to the tales of The Brothers Grimm, but oddly I didn’t find any of this story very creepy. It was dark and a bit gory, but I thoroughly enjoyed the progression of the story. I wouldn’t say this was a five-star read, but I really enjoyed this book. It’s a collection of stories about Greymist Fair that weave together very beautifully, and I absolutely love the atmosphere this book created. Come to find out after I read it, it’s classified as a horror book? I would’ve probably said it was more paranormal fiction, but alas. This was not a horror book to me. I should know, I hate horror. Would definitely recommend this book to anyone who likes morally twisted fantasy books - especially classic fae stories. This book gave me similar vibes to those.

The Matzah Ball - Jean Meltzer

December 22nd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

This book was so much fun. I think I read it in 3.5 hours. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, because honestly it’s one of the four Christmas (this book wasn’t technically Christmas but based on certain themes I think you could categorize it that way) books I impulsively rented from the library, but I loved it. The main girl had a chronic illness, and as someone who struggles physically myself, I really enjoyed reading about a main character going through the mental struggles of such a thing. This book gave silly Hallmark movie vibes, but it was completely enjoyable. The main guy was extremely sweet albeit a bumbling idiot, and I actually didn’t mind the major misunderstanding trope that carried this plot. I also really enjoyed reading a book that included lots of Jewish culture. It felt like home. There were a few aspects of this book I found a bit childish for a book about two people who were nearly thirty, but I guess different people enjoy different things. It was a fun, quick read if you’re looking for something with a holiday theme.

These Hollow Vows - Lexi Ryan

December 23rd, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

I’m not really sure why, but I started reading this in October and couldn’t get into it. A couple pages in and I was HOOKED. I love me a book about Fae realms. (At least, the original Fae. ACOTAR was too far from the source material for me to enjoy it, sadly.) This book has all the mystery and wonder of the Fae lands while being extremely simple to read and understand. I LOVED the plot progression, and the plot twists were predictable in a roundabout way where you could sort of guess them, but they still surprised you. The ending made me scream in both an angry and excited way. I totally saw the ending coming, but it still pissed me off!

I can’t wait to read the next book, but sadly I must wait until I return from vacation. I would DEFINITELY recommend this if you like fae books, especially if you enjoyed The Cruel Prince. The only reason I didn’t give this book five stars is that I felt the side characters were all a bit underdeveloped. I’m not sure if this was on purpose since the book is from the main character’s point of view, but I felt like I didn’t even know the love interests well enough to actually make a good judgement of either of them. I did, according to the ending, end up pegging both of their true characters correctly, but I still felt they were underdeveloped for how much time they spent in the book.

Honorable mention - The Queen of the Tearling - Erika Johansen

December 24rd, unrated, DNF

I tried to read this book about ten different times before I had to return it to the library, but it just isn’t my cup of tea. It didn’t capture my attention in the twenty pages I read, and I don’t think I can follow the character on her journey. It’s very sad, because I truly love a learned royalty plot, but I couldn’t do it. Perhaps I will pick it up again someday, but I don’t plan on it being anytime in the near future.

Defy the Night - Brigid Kemmerer

December 25th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ok, this one surprised me. I picked this book up at the library back in the summer, but I realized it was dual POV, and at that point I just couldn’t handle reading that, so I returned the book. I picked it up again on Christmas because my grandma bought me a kindle and I really wanted to try it, but the options at my library that were immediately available were limited. I’m so glad I gave it a second chance, because I loved it. This book had everything I love in a fantasy novel. There were so many twists I didn’t see coming, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. This book made me enjoy a wholly political plot, and I love that for it. Usually, I’m not a huge fan of political plots, but I loved the way this one developed. The romance was absolutely adorable as well, and it made me so happy I decided to give this book a second chance. As it stands, I will probably be reading the sequel tomorrow, and I am very excited, although I’m a bit upset the third book isn’t out until January! I was so happy to give another book five stars this month, because with how it was going, I didn’t think I would be.

Defend the Dawn - Brigid Kemmerer

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️☆

Hah. This book. True to my word, I finished it the day after Defy the Night. I’ll be honest, this book was slightly disappointing after how amazing the first book was, but I’ll let it slide solely because we got to know a new and amazing character. Besides that, this book did BOUNDS of character work. We got to know more and more about our main characters, and they all learned to overcome their stubbornness in this book. One thing I really loved about this book is that we got to see more about how close the brothers are. I feel like I don’t read many books where boys are very close to each other, especially not in a royalty setting, so it was refreshing to read a book where two brothers rule the throne united instead of going to war over it.

I was a bit disappointed that they spent the majority of the book on a ship, but because of the development that happened in the ship both character-wise and plot-wise, I can’t necessarily complain. For one, we got away from Allisander in this book, and I really had no character in this book more than him (yet). I’m very excited to read the last book when it comes out, though I wish I could read it right now. This series is truly worth the hype it had when I first discovered it, and I can’t wait to see where the relationships go in the next book.

The Lost Sisters - Holly Black

December 26th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Truth be told, this was a whole lot shorter than I thought it would be. It was essentially a letter from Taryn to Jude about the events of the first book. I found it to be a very interesting character study, honestly, and it showed us a bit more about Cardan too. I would recommend reading this if you’ve read The Cruel Prince series.

These Twisted Bonds - Lexi Ryan

December 29th, ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oh my gosh this book did more than I could’ve ever imagined it would. This book gave me all the character development the first book was lacking, and the way the plot developed was insanely amazing. I absolutely love Finn, and the way he calls Abriella Princess just absolutely melts me. The world got extremely fleshed out in this book, and I really enjoyed seeing how this author put her own twist on the world of the Fae. I also, oddly, really liked how the spice was done in this book. It was there but it mostly lacked detail and description, which is how I like my spice. I want a vague idea and nothing more! 😆 Overall, I really enjoyed this book, and it will probably be my last book of the year. I think it was a great conclusion to this year’s reading, and I’m glad I ended the year on a high note.

If you read this far, thanks for sticking around! For 2024, I will be doing monthly wrap-ups, so don’t expect another post like this…unless I decide to do a yearly wrap-up after my monthly ones are done…

If you have any recommendations to start my year off, tell me! I currently am planning on reading the Percy Jackson series, but that’s the only thing I’m really looking forward to reading

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plantcrazy · 1 month

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Lost Children Progress Update 17/4/24

It's been a little while since I did one of these. I've been giving small updates here and there, but a big one once in a while is nice, and I enjoy sharing my progress. It's sort of motivating. You know? To look and see, 'Oh wow, I did a lot' or 'wow, I didn't accomplish a lot, but I'm proud of what I did do!' (Some chapters take their time to come together, other the ideas just flow on to the paper).

ANYWAY! You don't care about this. You want to know how long till the next chapter comes out, right????

So, will start with the elephant in the room: Ch.19. It's only 8 pages, which is why, despite the first 3 technically done (anything at 90% is just to digitalise & add text), I haven't uploaded anything.

It's about done. I'm just stuck on page 5 (and two panels of page 4). They're a flashback. A god-damned nightmare of a flashback to draw and... I don't want to do it TT , but for effect and impact, the story needs it >>

Otherwise:

(That should be 20/22 chapters done :P )

Part 1 is coming together swimmingly! With the recent addition of 2 new chapters and, I think, this is as big as part 1 will be getting. I'm finishing off tidying up how I want Part 1 to end at the minute, and then we'll have a small time skip to part 2.

(And maaaaaaybe I'll go back to the start and add an intro chapter to give more info on what the heck happened in the Triple Threat Ending to make Henry think screwing up the timelines and making a new one was a great idea. IDK. Still on the hedge about where to put this info)

Also! The poll I'm running looks like everything in one fic will win, for how it gets uploaded on A03. In two days time once the poll is finished I'll work on implementing those changes (, unless the poll swings back the other way again :P ).

Part 2:

The order of the first 9 chapters, take with a grain of salt. I'm still finalizing the order.

For the most part it's just detailed ideas of what I want to happen in each part + 4 chapters finished, 2 being edited.

'Standing on the Ledge' came out FANTASTIC. I cannot wait to upload that one. Personal favourite of the part so far. 2nd place going to 'Stuck With You'.

And what is that at the bottom? A familiar chapter name! Yes! We're getting back to the Wall. Slowly but surly our characters will be reunited with their frozen prisons, well-

Those who I haven't/ don't kill off~

*eViL lAuGhInG! >:D*

jk.

Or am I?

Anyway,

Part 3:

Part 3 is mostly a butt-ton of editing. It looks like most of the new chapters will land in part 2 (asides from 4), so part 3 will be similar to the original version, but not, given all the minor changes you're about to witness snowball into avalanche sized consequences!

^^;

Anyway, I've edited 4 so far dated them since it's going to be a while till we get to Part 3. That being said, given it's 85%ish editing, it should hopefully just be rapid fire chapter uploading when we do get there :)

I think that's about all I've got to say?

Er... you guys should be aware by now of the 'I'm in uni, chapters are as I have time/wrist able' disclaimer. So...

OH! Also, this is all going up on A03 (once the poll is done), so I can keep the readers over there who don't follow this Tumblr up-to-date with what's going on. So when you see a new chapter update in your inbox, don't get too excited ^^;

And finally, for you.

My dear read.

Who has read through my long waffle and sporadic episodes of evil laughter and fun!

I have an... 'opportunity'

*Snots* I sound like a Mafia boss with Liam Neelson's voice reading this allowed.

I left my colour coding in Part 2 (as I couldn't be bothered to remove it ^^; ), so... will have some fun with this.

Whoever can figure out who's POV are colours blue or green will get a free half or full body drawing of one character (SFW), of their choice (mine, oc, stickmin or another fandom (at my discretion)).

And we'll say... 2 guesses a person (either two on one colour, or one guess for each colour) to make it fair. (It shouldn't be too hard, there's only 12 POV's, and you've met them all but one coming in at Part 3.

OH!

And there will be three winners in total.

Good luck :)

(btw, I'm going to bed now, so first people with the right answers are the winners in case you all rush in here with your answers over the next... 10 ish hours...

Unless... you're the only person to read this far >> )

#thsc #the henry stickmin collection #lost children of the ccc #update #fanfic #lost children #long post #you should totally read to the end *wink*#wip

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annanother-thing · 8 months

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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

@starquestingfordrarry ahhh thank you for tagging me, these are such good questions!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41 +1 unrevealed +6 that ive hidden

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

238,631

3. What fandoms do you write for?

only harry potter atm but i have written other fandoms before and i am psyching myself up to write some pjo/hoo next year

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Best Kept - drarry, secret relationship, EWE, E, 7k

How Does Your Garden Grow - wolfstar, modern au, T, 1.6k (this was the first hp fic i ever wrote back in 2016!)

Sparks - drarry, soulmates au, secret relationship, E, 20k

White in the Darkness - wolfstar, established relationship, possessive!remus, E, 7k

Maybe Love Could Be A Verb - wolfstar, getting together, idiots to lovers, E, 16k (my first fic coming back to fandom last year!)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

not as much as i should... i hate replying to comments when my work is still anon and i swear this year all ive done is anon fests and then i forget to reply when reveals happen and then my inbox gets super full and i get overwhelmed...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

oooh probably Invisible, Inescapable - ghost!reg, house magic, 16k, M - or Non-Existent Hearts Still Bleed - mostly canon compliant Pansy character study, 8k, M

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhhhh most of them? i dont tend to write sad things

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes. all of it. mostly queer but i have done some m/f but mostly in triads and that one tomione dead dove. currently in the middle of kinktober so smut is on the brain

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no theyve never been my vibe

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no thank god

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! well, someone asked, idk if they actually did it. it was my pansromione choir fic from pride fest

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

back in the day i co-wrote one with my then-best friend - i think it was the first fic i ever uploaded...

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

nope. impossible question. my ogs are wolfstar and drarry, but i also adore pansmione/pansromione, fleurinny, ginsy, jegulus, jegulily... so many ships so little time...

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i tried to do nano with original fiction several times and none of them really stuck, which im sad about because some of the ideas were banging - lesbian vampires through time, anyone?

16. What are your writing strengths?

ok this is the hardest question by far...

i think i am quite good at the introspection, and characters having to think through their situations, figure out how they actually feel. i blame all the therapy...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

confidence and run on sentences. i was editing a fic yesterday and found a sentence that was nearly half a page...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i dont mind it, but i think it has to fit the story. but one of my pet peeves is when people but dialogue in another language and then put the translation in the chapter notes - i have a goldfish brain and by the time i get to the end of the chapter i have forgotten what the dialogue was about

19. First fandom you wrote for?

kingsman back in like 2014/5

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

dont make me choose between my babies! maybe the one that i cant talk about yet (i feel its the most up to date representation of my writing at the moment), maybe my wolfstar witcher!au (longest uploaded fic, and i really struggled to finish it but im so proud of myself for getting there), maybe my soulmate fest one (i was so not happy with it but everyone seemed to like it and it reminds me that i am my own worst critic)

Tagging: @gloivy @uncannycerulean @silently--here @tracingpatternswrites <3

#this was fun!#i love these question games #they really make me think about my work #anna answers

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imogenleewriter · 1 year

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hello hi, i've got a question, what keeps you going while writing? i admire your consistency!

Hey!

Super valid question that I'm not entirely sure I have an answer to. Or maybe I have too many answers.

I'm going to give short ones (because I keep trying to answer this and writing a novel) but if you want me to elaborate I can.

1) Deadlines. If I don't have deadlines, I just waste time staring at a blank screen, and that's more stressful than forcing myself to get words down.

2) Writing stuff that matters to me. Before ychiits, I tried writing 1000 things with amazing plots and could never finish any of them. If you think about it, ychiits actual plot is so mundane, but for that, the characters were what mattered to me and a complicated plot would have taken away from that. The two wips mean different things to me as well. Writing fanfiction falls into that as well. I have no desire to write original works because writing Larry fanfiction means more to me.

3) General techniques that work for me. I could probably write an essay on this, but basically, I have so many strategies to get myself to write based on my mood.

4) Comments. I doubt I'd be close to as productive without comments and interactions. I probably get over 250 comments a week across all four fics now, and it's hard not to stay motivated when that happens. But at the start of ychiits I was getting like 4-5 comments per chapter, and that was still as motivating! (So please comment on every fic you love).

5) Planning. ychiits has a full draft. My current WIPs are less so because I found I didn't copy a single sentence from ychiits so it seemed silly to have a 100k draft when I only referred to it for scenes/chapters. So now I just focus on a general plot. My study looks like a serial killer den because of all the posters and cork boards and white boards where I keep all the plans. So, if i get stuck on a chapter, I write out everything I want to include in it. The more stuck I am, the more I flesh out the plan.

6) Talking things through with others. I started Ychiits because I know anyone in the fandom at all, so I was completely alone and didn't have a single beta until the last chapter when @hereforh and @enchantedlandcoffee looked through it as readers to make sure it all aligned so you can definitely do it without this. But now, because I have friends, lol, if I get stuck on a scene or chapter, I have people to talk to and bounce ideas off them and check they think what I'm writing makes sense. I've mentioned in my AN, but @hereforh and I have a constant chat - different time zones - and at least half of the time we're talking about fic ideas etc. @nooradeservedbetter also gives me amazing advice when I'm stuck.

7) Privilege. I don't know how to talk about this without sounding like I'm bragging. However, my job is after-hours. So, I don't work during the day on weekdays. It's a well-paying job, so I don't work full-time - my hourly rate is about double what it was when I worked in a hospital. Some of my shifts are being on-call overnight. This means I spend 10 hours in my study but only have to work when I get a call (that being said, I'm not very productive after 2am, so it doesn't help that much). There is still a need for me to bring in income, and does still take away hours from writing, but I obviously have more time to write than I did when I was working full-time.

8) Lack of sleep. Okay, so realistically, I need just as much sleep as everyone else, I know that. But I seem to survive better than most people would on the same amount of sleep.

9) Supportive husband. I mean, he's never read a word I've written or anything, but he is supportive in the sense that he knows writing is something I value and doesn't talk down about it. I think he'd be just as supportive if I were actually making an income from it as he is about it being fanfiction.

10) ADHD diagnosis and meds. Even medicated, my ADHD is still a big challenge to writing. It might not seem like that because of the frequency that I upload, but it still does. For example, I'll click out of the document to google a word or something and straight away get side-tracked, and after an hour, I'll remember that I was writing and come back to the document and realise I still didn't even google the word and the process starts all over again. But knowing that my brain works differently helps - i.e I know I can only write in 20-minute blocks, and then I need a break. That probably falls more into point three, but I know my limitations now. And ADHD meds still help bring me up to a point where I can actually finish things.

11) Letting go of perfectionism. Could my work be 10x better than it is? Yes. But when I'm writing and uploading 20k+ words a week, I don't have time to try and get every sentence perfect. The thing is, perfectionism freezes me. I probably would give myself more time between deadlines if I was sure that I would use that time to perfect chapters. But I either would still wait until the last minute and not use the extra time, or I'd get too wrapped up in getting every word perfect that I'd still miss every deadline. There are plenty of "good enough" words, sentences, paragraphs, and scenes in my fics that I know could be better, but I just don't have time to spend twenty minutes trying to find the right word or the best sentence structure. I hope that makes sense.

Anyway, this is still long af but I hope it helps a little. Happy to elaborate on any points - because I could definitely right about this all day - but again, it's already long af and I'm not sure if it is helpful at all lol.

#anon #answered anon #writing advice

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herbalinz-of-yesteryear · 7 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag dear and talented @aftergloom ! Tagging @jawanaka @andordean @poetikat @stardustbee @storm89 @ro-the-bard-writer @wholelottatiffy @grinningnexu @botherbother-blog @eloquentmoon and/or anyone who’s interested.

1. How many works do you have on A03?

Twelve.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

153,256, discounting a fic translation. 😬

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Witcher (books & game), Cybperunk 2077, Star Wars

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

By kudo ratios i think it’s: the stars are not there, Await the Dawn, The Path of Aloneness, Seeking Resonance, Half Moon, Full Circle, something like that I don’t want to calculate everything 😂

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! To show my appreciation to the commenter, make friends, gush over blorbos. When commenter comments on many chapters I tend to reply in conclusion-ish to one or few of them, because I don��t want to flood threads with my own comment, perhaps out of an ingrained false sense of modesty?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

…I’m not sure 😂 All of fics are angsty fics, but with a sense of emotional catharsis at the end so I’d hope none? I recall some comments pointed out certain level of heartwrenchingness at Regis/Queen of the Night ficlet, and a little bit with Takemura’s ficlet. I think Blood of Emerald might be the angstiest ending when it’s done (no getting around it there hehe)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Seeking Resonance! But even then readers also pointed out sad sentiments 😆 It’s a fluffy ending imo

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet :)

9. Do you write smut?

Yes! Not very adept but I’m learning.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Sort of. One Witcher x Cyberpunk 2077 long before the game was out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and not sure 100% which one (i have no memory); think it’s the Regis Professor AU fic?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but would like to.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hard question. I’m a multishipper. Maybe Geralt x Yen? Cerys x Ciri x Tankred? Judy x V?

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Aside from one abandoned sequel to my first fic, I don’t think there will be unfinished WIP. I’m just slow at em.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Psychology. Environmental storytelling. Some level of symbolism and metafiction employment. For fanfiction, maybe my close observation and portrayal of canon characters, i dunno; I do go a little lotho-minor-maul method before I can write anyone.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oh boi. I’m still quite a novice, so basically everything aside from the few strengths. Especially with structure. Also dialogue. Also visualization of scenes (strange yes, but I am unable to see scenes most of the time, about short of aphantasia). I have great difficulty in writing long works.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If there’s a purpose, whether for worldbuilding inside fiction or cultural reasons in real life. But sometimes it can be the bad kind of jarring. I remember personally opt to not use latin directly for star wars fic, for example (even tho translation sounds stoopid).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Witcher! My Once and Future.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Seeking Resonance I suppose. It’s soft and brought soft feelings to others on bad days. I loved that.

A bit cheating here since I haven’t finished, but I think really it will be Blood of Emerald. It’s basically original fic given the amount of worldbuilding and characters I have to do on my own, and the story is from a legend the length about 2 pages in canon ending with everybody dying (sad, angsty, violent deaths). Rare character, obscure material. I’m writing a full-length fic literally for myself and maybe 2 other people in the entire fandom. It gives me ulcers and insomnia. “odi et amo, nescio” 😂 Jks aside, I think for me there’s the allure like that of Matters of Britain retelling. The ending is set in stone, no one ever gets to know the whole truth. And it’s not even about the “how we got here.” A blink of light long gone by the time it reaches the eye. But for some reason it must be told.

I like Await the Dawn, too. And the stars are not there. Discovering the fun and love for OC first time here huehuehue

Somewhat relevant ramble: reflecting on what aftergloom mentioned in her experience, Q.11 (stolen lines and fics)—my writing is usually detached from my life, and I made a point to myself and closed ones irl that I would be extremely cautious in using real life material in my fiction. But there is a bit of that “grain of truth” in the stars are not there. My childhood crush had an unusual dream about me and I kept the sentiments while writing Maul (it is hard not to write a bit of myself in this character; The Wrath did a good job evoking some memories…). I found it to be a valuable exploration in my approach to writing. I think I would feel ambivalent to stolen lines, as it is hard to keep track of where “originality” begins and ends, but it would be quite an interesting experience indeed if bits of real-life event is written by someone else. ==

#tag game #personal

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kleiner-ghost · 7 months

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20 Q's for Fic Writers

Thank you @spacejammie-eimmajecaps for the tag!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

27! But I do have a few original works that I post on a different website.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

You can tell I mostly write one-shots haha

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Quite a few, but Deathloop and Fallout 4 are my top ones ^^

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The stars in your eyes - Kleiner_Ghost - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own]

Follow the Black and Gold Rabbit - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Deus Ex (Video Games) [Archive of Our Own]

December in Dunwall - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Prey (Video Game 2017) [Archive of Our Own] - which I haven't touched in years, and honestly needs a rewrite ^^;

Mirror, Mirror, on the Ceiling - Kleiner_Ghost - Original Work [Archive of Our Own]

Your Value to Me - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own] - which was my main before kinktober and then Nano hit ^^

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yep, as a rule of thumb. Sometimes I don't know what to say though ^^;

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh, oh, the working title for this one before I posted it was 'Frank Angst'!

Consistently Hangover and Automatically Assuming the Worst - Kleiner_Ghost - Deathloop (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Urgh. Happy endings are for happy people. The best I can give you in bittersweet?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. But then again, I don't get much comments either because of how small my fandoms are.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep! Recently I have been messing around with it as well, for kinktober, and now I'm a bit ashamed to look my beta in the eyes.

I will admit, I usually post my kinky smut on an alt for that excat reason. Too many people I know irl know my main AO3 handle ^^;

But yeah, I love writing smut! But sometimes I want to play around with themes or settings too, and it doesn't always belong in those stories.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Yep! My fave is this fic, which I consider to be one of my best works:

Two Pieces of Nine - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Deathloop (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

I am also working on a few side projects that are crossovers. Since they're both longfics, I'm waiting to have over half of them done before releasing them (I've learned my lesson about those XD).

One is a Bablyon 5 and Star Wars crossover, where droids invade the world of B5, and a clone battalion is sent through to stop them.

The other is about the bad batch waking up on Blackreef.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not stolen, but I have had elements of a story plagiarized. I never called the other author on it, because it was one of their first fics, and because of the fandom and tags we had in common I don't think it was malicious.

12. There was no question 12 so I'll make one up myself: How many WIPs do you have?

18, not counting all the unfished kinktober one-shots. Some of those are original stories that won't go on AO3 though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, but I would love to!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

How bad would it wound if i name something from a fandom I never wrote for? Winterfrost is my favourite ship. I would die for some Bucky x Loki.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

December in Dunwall - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Prey (Video Game 2017) [Archive of Our Own]

I just keep forgetting it exists tbh ^^; I've changed and grew a lot as a writer since I started it, and as I've said it would need a full rewrite. Maybe one day I will get to it (It is my second most popular fic as well), because the two fandoms it's from deserve that, but I have like 3 longfics to get through before that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characters. Funnily enough it's also one of my greatest weaknesses because if I can't write a character, I never will, but for those that I do write well, well, they're great.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dyslexia and writing on mobile. Sometimes my autocorrect does things, and I don't notice them, and then my beta goes "???" on stuff that any 4 year old would have caught XD

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I did it once, I'll do it again! But readers did drop it after those chapters (and that fic is no longer on AO3). I think it adds a lot of realism to a scene.

On that note, one of my favourite Outer Worlds fics had Welsh text in it. The author went to great lengths to make it readable to peeps who didn't speak it, with hyperlinks and stuff. But I was reading on mobile, so it never worked for me XD I had google translate open in the background, and was missing half the dialogue, but i was sooo into it that I didn't care.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Soul Eater. But that fic will never see the light of day. I'm even more embarrassed by it than I am from showing my experimental kinky smut to my irl friends. (Yes it involved a shinigami self-insert smooching Death the Kid). I was 14...

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Tough pick. I'd say overall this one :

Two Pieces of Nine - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Deathloop (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

But I love how weird this one got (it was inspired by irl sleep deprived shenanigans) :

The orange thing in the tree - Kleiner_Ghost - Control (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

And this one is the one I'm most emmotionally invested in :

Your Value to Me - Chapter 1 - Kleiner_Ghost - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own]

Thank you once again for the ask, I'm passing the questions down the line to @rowanisawriter, @the-lastcall-main, and Rieha (whose Tmblr I can't find ^^;), oh, and anyone who wants to join ^^

#writer ask #QnA #It's hilarious how i have so many fics but i mentioned the same one in every other question lol #stuck in WIP hell

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ryttu3k · 1 year

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Fic/writing end of the year meme! Questions found here.

Crown, LaCroix/Nines, 35,625 (20,220 written in 2022, rest in 2021)

i thought that i was here with you (but it was always just an empty room), Sascha-centric, 21,303

remember when you were young (you shone like the sun), Beckett + Dracon, 3,765

Homecoming, Sascha/Ilias, 2,059

Golden One, original, 3,935 (unpublished)

This Train Terminates Here, original, 30,003, incomplete

1. Favourite fic you wrote this year

I think empty room, that one was. Heavy.

2. Least favourite fic you wrote this year

Man idek. Homecoming?

3. Favourite line/scene you wrote this year

The diablerie scene in chapter six of empty room was brutal, but I think it was emotionally impactful?

4. Total number of words you wrote this year

51,282 for completed stories and the portion of Crown I wrote this year, plus another 30,003 for TTTH, for a total of 81,285. I'm not including the 9k or so I wrote of what's technically the second draft of TTTH.

5. Most popular fic this year

Crown got 53 kudos and 9 bookmarks!

6. Least popular fic this year

Definitely Homecoming, with 11 kudos, 2 bookmarks, and 65 hits.

7. Longest completed fic you wrote this year

Crown is longer, but I wrote almost half of it last year, so it's actually empty room.

8. Shortest completed fic you wrote this year

Homecoming. Li'l baby fic.

9. Longest WIP of the year

My only WIP is this draft of This Train Terminates Here, currently at 30k.

10. Shortest WIP of the year

I mean, I have some stuff mentally plotted out that's at a solid 0 for actual words, so...

11. Fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

Literally the only one I wrote for was Vampire: the Masquerade, so.

12. Favourite character to write about this year

*holds up Sascha by the scruff of the neck*

13. Favourite writing song/artist/album of this year

Still Florence, but with a new addition of Pink Floyd. Shine On You Crazy Diamond sort of became the Dracon's theme song, and I've been writing a ton of TTTH to it as well. And the next two skyline fics will have titles from those two as well (part 8 from Comfortably Numb, part 9 from My Love).

14. A fic you didn’t expect to write

shone like the sun was definitely not planned.

15. Something you learned this year

Whatever genre Golden One was, I want to write more of it. (It's not posted anywhere. Sorry. I'm trying to get it published and they take First Publication Rights seriously.)

16. Fic(s) you completed this year

Finished Crown (the clanswap one with Banu Haqim LaCroix and Tremere Nines), wrote three more skyline fics in full (well, two officially skyline, one adjacent), wrote a short original story, and started properly on the third draft of an original novel.

17. Fics you'll continue next year

Definitely TTTH. Honestly, I think the Prague one and With your eyes turned skyward are shelved, considering I haven't worked on them since last year.

18. Current number of WIPs

Just TTTH and the above two.

19. Any new fics to start next year

*muffled screaming* (The interview one is done, obviously, that's shone like the sun, and yes I'm working on the novel, yes! I suspect the Tremere!Myca AU will come in first before part 8 of skyline, it's developed pretty heavily in my head.)

20. Number of comments you haven’t read

None. I read (and flail) over all of them <3

21. Most memorable comment/review

Honestly there was a really nice one from someone who enjoyed one of my ancient Zelda fics on FF.N and was really disappointed when I deleted it, and was delighted to see it on AO3. Honestly though I get so many lovely comments it's hard to judge!

22. Events you participated in this year

I... attempted TTTH draft 2 as part of Camp NaNo. It did not happen lmao

23. Fics you wanted to write but didn’t

*waves at question 19*

24. Favourite fic you read this year

Oh dangit this question is mean. Diviner Bureaucrat by @iravaid finished and emotionally destroyed me. I love basically everything @robotslenderman posted, but special shoutouts to Radio Silence, which is goddamn epic and officially my canon for the NSA breach, Trust Fall (Daemon AU and so soft), and Witness (Mithras and Roger are observed). Wherefore Means Why by @meteormemoirs had some damn good updates. All the assorted updates for from a lifetime ago by @goreador emotionally kicked my ass.

And for some non-VtM, with the earth and the sky and the water re-made by ponderinfrustration is a Quincey-survives Dracula AU, Excerpt from Book 22 (lost) of The Noniad by oliviacirce is a spectacular and frankly adorable Ortus/Matthias Locked Tomb fic written in enneameter are you kidding me, and @insecateur somehow dragged me back to being Perfworld Pokemon trash with do let the old enmity be, which. Killed me.

25. A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

See above!

26. Number of favourites/bookmarks you made this year

Aaaand above!

27. Favourite fanfic author of the year

And above :D

28. Longest fic you read this year

Diviner Bureaucrat came in at 159k, followed by Radio Silence at 137k.

29. Shortest fic you read this year

Many a one-shot!

30. Favourite fandom to read fic from this year

You know it's VtM <3

#writing #fanfiction #year in review #ry writes stuff

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dailyaudiobible · 1 year

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01/25/2023 DAB Transcript

Genesis 50:1-Ex 2:10, Matthew 16:13-17:9, Psalms 21:1-13, Proverbs 5:1-6

Today is the 25th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is fantastic to be here with you today as we take the next step forward together on the adventure that we have embarked on 25 days ago. We’re 25…well…once we read today, we’ll be 25 days into our year. This is a day of a bit of transition. We will finish our first full book of the Bible today and then move forward. So, we will be doing that right now. We’ll finish the book of Genesis and then we'll get into the second book of the Bible, the book of Exodus and we’ll talk about Exodus when we get there but we’ve got one chapter of Genesis to finish up the book. And one last thing before we get going, we will be going to the land of the Bible here in less…well…in about a week and a half and a bunch of us will be there actually in person and the rest of us will be traveling virtually. But hang out until the end today because we'll be talking about Israel 2024 next year. But let's dive into the Scriptures now. And if we will recall, we said goodbye to Jacob and we remember his name was changed to Israel, which is where we get this name, Israel. And Israel's children are the children of Israel. We said goodbye to Jacob yesterday as he passed from the story and into history. Today we finish the book of Genesis with chapter 50.

Introduction to the book of Exodus:

Okay. So, that concludes the book of Genesis, Jacob has passed, they took him back to the land. They took his body back to the land of Canaan, back to the cave at Machpelah in the Valley of Eshkol and buried him in the ancestral family plot, the only piece of land that's owned by any children of Israel. And, so, they go back to this place and then they returned to Egypt, and Joseph passes away at 110 years of age, telling his family that there's a promise and there’s a land and when God leads you into this land take my bones with you. And, so, now we are about to open up the second book in the Bible, the book of Exodus. And, so, as we open up the book of Exodus, when we flip that page, we’re flipping the page by several hundred years. And, so, all of these original children of Israel that we've met along the way and all of the family dynamics that we've been able to observe, all of these people have passed away. All of these original people that we been, walking alongside, they're all gone now but their families, the generations have flourished and the people have become numerous, numerous as the stars in the heavens, numerous like sand on the seashore like God had promised to Abraham. It's just that they're not in the land that they were promised, they’re in the land of Egypt and they’re growing more and more numerous and more and more powerful, and the Egyptians are starting to become afraid of them and starting to marginalize them. And now that we’re several centuries into the future Egypt has forgotten about Joseph and the way that they were saved from the devastation so long ago. And, so, the Egyptians enslaved the children of Israel in Egypt. And Pharaoh, seeking to stop them from growing more and more numerous and more and more powerful, instituted some population control that's horrible. Like if the baby is a boy, throw him into the Nile River. This is the command of the King. And, so, baby boys were being drowned in the Nile River. But there was a promise. There was a hope for a future for this people. And it's interesting because we flip into…into Exodus and we’re hundreds of years in the future and when we think about God's promises in our day and age normally, we are thinking about things that…that need to materialize in a hurry, right? And we don't really think that will give a promise that we won't get to see, like this Longview, like that…that…that we’re a part of a story that is centuries and centuries, even millennia old. We want the instant gratification of it all. But there's a story going on as we read through the Bible. There was a person, Abraham. And we followed his family and there was a promise. And it's still out there and it’s still unfulfilled and it's still going on and it's still a part of the…of the people. God finds Abraham and sends him to a land that he doesn't know. God promises a son of promise and Isaac is born and God appears to Isaac and Isaac passes the promise to his son Jacob. Then God reveals himself to Jacob who passes this onto his 12 sons, the children of Israel who are now marginalized and enslaved in Egypt. But the promise is still there. And they begin to cry out to God. And a baby boy is born, and this baby boy is put into the Nile as commended, but he was put into the Nile in a wicker basket and he was floating and this wicker basket was discovered, as we will see, by Pharaoh's daughter and she names the baby boy Moses. And we will be traveling a good distance with Moses. And, so, we begin. Exodus chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for the next step forward. And for the first time we get to experience transitioning from one book to another, and we thank You for bringing us through the book of Genesis, and that sense of accomplishment that we are under way. We are on our way. And even as we look back to the book of Genesis, how much You brought up and out into our lives for us to consider and for us to be transformed by. And, so, we are grateful for that, for that journey through the book of Genesis. And now as we move into the book of Exodus, we’ve met this baby boy who's going to be the mighty Moses. And as we engage with this story, we invite Your Holy Spirit to lead, guide and direct us. May we see what we need to see and hear what we need to hear as we continue this journey forward. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

Okay. So, like I said at the beginning we will be going to the land of the Bible here in about a week and a half. And we’ll be spending the better part of a couple weeks in the land, moving throughout the land from the Mediterranean coast, the border of Jordan, from the Red Sea all the way to the borders of Lebanon and Syria in the north, north, south, east, west and the interior of the land. We have over the years created the most comprehensive biblical immersion into the land of the Bible that that we know how to do while making it a pilgrimage for our hearts. And, so, we’re certainly looking forward to that. And, so, the first thing is to ask the community here to begin to pray over all of the things that are involved in a trip like that - international travel, jet lag, time zone changes, culture changes, all kinds of logistics, all kinds of things that are set up to fire in a certain order and work in a certain way, and of course technology, the technology that binds us together each and every day continues to go forward no matter where we may be in the world. And, so, technology, safety, wisdom, all that we will need to take this journey, covering it with prayer. And this community is a community of prayer, and I have witnessed that over all of these years. And, so, just asking for everyone to begin to pray over all of these things is my…is…is my request, is my ask, that the Holy Spirit might hover over us as we take the journey and do the work in us that…that we need as we open ourselves to the experience. This will be our first journey back since the pandemic era that we went through. It was 2020 was the last time we were in the land and really truly rode the wave ahead of Covid, like literally got back in 2020, two weeks before the world locked down. And…and we had such an interesting strange year in 2020. In 2021, things were still on lock down as far as that kind of international travel goes. 22 went by. And in 2022 we decided as things were opening back up, as restrictions were going down, as things were…at least for international travel returning to something that looks a little more regular...we decided to go. And that's what we’re about to do. We decided in 2022 to go in 2023. And, so, we’re about to do that. But we've also looked at this surge coming into Israel, as things do return to normal. And, so, we weren't really able to go back and kind of then reevaluate and see how things were. It was like man unless you want to go in 2025 or 2026 you gotta…you gotta kind of make a commitment for 2024. And we have done that. And we have to do those kinds of things because we have a whole…an entire team, both on the Israeli side and on the American siding. And, so, keeping that all together and keeping everybody booked in advance kind of to know what's gonna happen, we’ve had to do that. And, so, we are going to go back in 2024 on a pilgrimage to the land of the Bible. This will take place between February 12th and 25th of 2024. So, just a bit over a year from now. Registration is now open. You can find out all about Israel 2024 and experiencing the land of the Bible on pilgrimage with Daily Audio Bible at dailyaudiobible.com or if you are using the app, you can press the little Drawer icon in the upper left-hand corner and that will open up a drawer. Either place. Look for the Initiatives section and in the initiatives you will find Israel 2024 and all of the kinds of details that you would want to know as you consider taking this pilgrimage, but registration for 2024, February 2024 is open now. Just a little bit of a heads up. When we announced the pilgrimage that we’re about to go on, the one for 2023, the one that we announced back last year, I wasn't really sure. I just knew that if we didn't take a step and return then years and years and years would go by. And this has been part of the rhythm of our year, but with all that had gone on in the world with all the sickness, all the pandemic, all of the restrictions, all of the cares of it, all of the uncertainty of it, we just didn't know. Does anybody want to go back to Israel? What ended up happening was very surprising and that was that the pilgrimage for 2023 had sold out within 24 hours. And even if there had been something that…that we could have or wanted to do about that, there was nothing that we could do. Like literally all of the rooms in Israel and all of the places that we were going were all full. So, there has been an extreme demand for…for the holy land. But even had we been able to expand, that's not really what we’re doing here. We’re not trying to take a dozen buses or even half a dozen buses or anything like that. That…that really really becomes limiting to the kind of schedule that we’re trying to keep and the amount of places that we’re trying to allow ourselves to be immersed in and just the entire breadth and depth and width of the country that we’re trying to see. And, so, we take two buses, just enough people that everybody can get to know everybody and we can be family together and a community together as we take the journey together. And, so, that is what we are planning for 2024 as well. And, so, if going to the land of the Bible is something that has been a dream or something on the bucket list, something that you feel compelled toward in your heart, something that you need to feel, like you need to see with your own eyes that you need to smell with your own nose that you need to hear with your own ears then registration is open for the 2024 Daily Audio Bible pilgrimage to the land of the Bible, than registration is available now for that trip. And I’ve told you where to find it. I will let you know again that…that that trip did sell out in a day and then we had a couple hundred people on a waiting list. And, so, if you are compelled to take the journey I wouldn't delay. So, check it out.

That is the announcement and that is it for today. I am Brian I love you and I will be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi this is Dan from AZ and I'm calling to ask for a prayer request for my wife who's been suffering from migraine headaches for over a year every day. And I just…I've been praying for her. She's been praying but it just doesn't seem to help. She's been seeing doctors and stuff and I just would like to get a prayer request out there for all the DABbers. This is my first time calling. This is my first time listening to the daily Bible and it's been a blessing and I just want to reach out and ask for…for help in Jesus’ name. Thank you.

Hello Daily Audio Bible family I am reaching out for prayer. I am dealing with many issues in my life. My marriage needs prayer. My husband needs a lot of prayer. He's dealing with very difficult job depression, anxiety, anger issues, temper tantrums. He's quite abusive as of late and there is potential that he's having an affair. And if he's not having an affair, he's definitely hiding pornography. Anyway, I am also trying to declutter everything that I own for preparation for moving because it looks like this marriage is going to end. Not by my choice but by his and I just need help. I need willpower. I need the ability to let go of stuff that I do not need and to fight this hoarding pack ratting mentality. I don't have a ton of stuff, but I have so much more than is necessary and it's embarrassing, and I'm just appalled by myself as I pull things out of closets and just see how horrible it really is. On the surface the house looked great but underneath it's terrible. So anyway, please pray for me. Pray for my daughter in the midst of all of this. Pray for God to provide. Pray for my husband to come back to the Lord. And if it's God's will, to save this marriage but in such a way that my husband is no longer abusive on so many levels. And pray that I would have patience and be more like Christ through it all. Thank you so much family.

Hi Daily Audio Bible family my name is Evelyn and I'm calling from Germany. I would like to ask for prayers for my mother. Right now, she's at stage four cancer and it has spread to…according to the doctors the brain, the liver, the bones. And yeah, she has done some sessions of chemotherapy and she also did radiotherapy, and she was asked to do so more radiotherapy for the bones. I just could not look at __ yesterday because she broke down crying. And yeah, the doctors gave her news that we just…had broken. And for me it's also breaking my heart and I'm also trying to manage my emotional __ here. So, please ask that you join me in prayers for her. There is nothing impossible for our God to do. Our God will step __. Nothing is impossible for God to do. __ the Lord emotionally, financially. And even looking at her is…is…is…is really breaking my heart. But I trust God and we all trust God. Nothing is impossible for God to do. Thank you so much for sending in your prayers. I would really appreciate it. I've been blessed by following the Daily Audio Bible every day and it has really blessed my life and lifted my spirit and built my faith up. Thank you so much. Bye.

This is Nobody Gets Left Behind from Colorado calling in a praise report and a couple prayer requests. My mom, she is at a homeless shelter now. Praise God for that. Her tent went up in fire. Somebody rescued her saved her life. I just asked that my DAB family can just join me in prayer to put it in her heart to go to and assisted living. She's a bit stubborn but I thank God that she's still here. And I'm about to go pick her up for church today. I want to ask if you could pray for my brother. I had mentioned that he had been released from prison. He was there for 20 years, and I just ask that you join me in prayer that his life can worship Jesus and just be a light to people and that his repentance and his remorse for what he did wrong will always give him the contrite heart and that his music and his talents and all the things that he does that that can just clarify you Jesus. I just also wanted to say that I loved hearing Annette Allison’s story today. I love you sister. You always bring a big, big smile on my face. Praise God for you…you sister and for Blind Tony. I just always love your wisdom that flows from your heart Tony. I praise God for you and Lisa with stage four cancer you've been heavy on my heart, heavy on all of our hearts sister. And, you know, let God's will be done in our lives no matter what we go through. We have eternal mindset. Love you guys.

Good morning everyone __. My name is Gloria __. I'm just calling in to get some help with some things. I just need help with, you know, worrying about myself and staying happy, you know, because I don't want to be depressed anymore. I just want to be happy. When I come to work, I'm very depressed. Just thinking about work I'm very depressing for me. Like, you know, I'm happy to have a job. I was homeless before I even got this job. So, you know, I'm blessed for it. But, you know, it's not even the job. It's the people, you know. This new generation…I'm even in the new generation…I'm only 26 years old. So, you know, this new generation just wants to come to work, stay on their phone, not help others, not, you know, help out and it's kind of hard to endure. It's kind of hard to grasp, you know. I go home every day depressed. And, you know, even talking to someone. you know, here doesn't help. Supervisors doesn't help with it. The management doesn't help. I did therapy. Therapy doesn't work for me. I don't know what else to do, you know, because I go home and I’m so depressed that I don't even have time for my babies. And that's not an excuse. I know it. I'm trying. I just need your prayers you guys. So, please pray for me. Thank you Brian, thank you Jill, thank you China, thank you Ezekiel, thank you everyone, and most importantly thank you God. I am trying my hardest, you know, stay on the right path. Just pray for me please. I love you guys. Bye.

This is Sabina calling asking for prayers for myself and my family. I have been…in the last 15 years I've struggled with really deep tiredness, and I've been sick a lot and…and I have an education, I've been working and sometimes I can work for some months and then suddenly I just get so deeply tired that…that I can't work anymore. It's not possible. I get sick and sometimes depressed and a little stressed and I have a lot of pain and ache in my body. And it's been like this for on and off for 15 years. I've had good times as well but it's really hard sometimes, hard for me and for the family and financially very hard. So, I would just ask if somebody would pray for me and…and our situation and that somehow things will change and, yeah, that I may follow God's will whatever it is. I really want to work. I really want to do things and just…not only just stay at home and not have anything to do. I really want to do something for God and for my family for people around me and for myself as well. So, I pray that, yeah, somehow there will come a change and…and I will know what to do, what is in God's will.

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perexcri · 1 year

Note

For the fanfic thing, please

2, 3 and 11 for To Hell and Back

4, 9, 13, and 15 a flower that resembles you

If that’s too many you can veto what you don’t wanna do☺️

I hope you are doing wonderfully, Perc!!

hi Vee!! i love all of these so i'm gonna answer them but put them under the cut because i don't know how to answer things succinctly lol

first off: To Hell and Back Again :D

2: What scene did you first put down?

basically Chapter 6: Castle!! i originally just wrote a one shot that was this chapter (with some parts that ended up in chapter 5 as well), and after a few weeks i started trying to turn it into the story that it became

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

i honestly do not know? i remember this one less for the actual writing than i do the plot and characters, so i had to dig around a little, but i did find one line i think about fairly often:

Opening his mouth, Mike tries to get the words out–any words–but they won't come. They tangle in his throat, and his own tears pool in his eyes instead. Against the burning aches in his joints, how the backpack still digs into his shoulders, Mike reaches out on his own. He takes his bloodied, cut hand and presses it to Will's cheek, just to feel the pain and know it's real.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

first of all, i’m just glad i finished a long/time-consuming creative project T_T i hadn’t done one in so long and i always feel awful because i constantly start things and never finish them, but writing this helped me prove to myself that i can actually complete long projects

i also really like that i took my own spin on the apocalypse byler concept. i know it ended up definitely taking a more serious/angsty turn about halfway through, but i like that i tried to approach them getting stuck in the upside down with a more humorous lens. when i first wanted to do an apocalypse byler fic, i tried to think of ways i could make the concept more fun for me, and i’m happy with what i ended up with :D

now: A Flower That Resembles You

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

ooooh okay so my favorite line of dialogue is actually from the last chapter for the whole fic (which i already wrote because i was in dire need of some serotonin in church one day lol). so!! i can’t post it, but i’ll take this one from tonight’s update instead :D

“Do you hear it?” Mike asked in the silence of the dark one night. Just a few minutes earlier, the bells had chimed for midnight.

“Hm?” Will groaned into his half of the pillow, cheek squished up against one of his eyes.

Mike shifted a little, just enough that Will could tell he was craning his neck, trying to get a good look at him. “The sea. You can hear the waves in the distance.”

(it’s a few lines of dialogue but let’s just pretend it counts lol)

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

not of this fic specifically, but like my last a/n said, there’s a lot of the world-building that i’m borrowing from an original story i’ve had sitting in my brain for like 8 years now!! the biggest difference between this fic and my original idea is that my original idea took place in a more industrialized city - think the industrializing north in the US during the like 1870s-1890s. if i ever get to working on it some more, i definitely want to keep that industrialized setting!! i opted for the kind of medieval/fantasy setting here because i thought it would work better with the characters (and give me an excuse to draw from my many hours of watching Merlin lol)

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

ahhh i love music questions!! ok so i have the playlist for this fic, of course, but i listen to the full version that i have on private on my account right now. i listen to the whole thing about once a day while i’m at work, just to keep the vibes in my head so it’s easier to write!!

i do mainly remember/classify my fics by what albums and artists i listened to a lot while working on them (even if they do have an official playlist that goes with them). so, in my head, i classify this fic mainly as a Dance Fever, Get Behind Me Satan, and Love Yourself: Tear fic! Dance Fever for the vibes and religious undertones, Get Behind Me Satan because the entire album is centered around truth, and Love Yourself: Tear because that’s the album that The Truth Untold (the song this fic is based off of) is from :D

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i’ve learned a lot about perseverance T_T i hit a point a few weeks ago where i was seriously considering dropping this idea for a while (for lots of reasons not wholly related to the story itself, but still). i’ve been stuck on it for a while and keep worrying i’m not gonna be able to tie it all together, but it’s a story i really want to tell, and convincing myself to finish it solely for that reason has helped me find a bit more joy in actually working on it (even if i am regularly banging my head on my keyboard trying to get from point a to point b)

AHHHHHH apologies for it being so long, but thank you so much for the questions Vee!! i loved getting to answer them :] 💜💜💜

#ask

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daedalusdavinci · 5 months

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ao3 wrapped 2023

taken from here. i did this last year and it was fun so im doing it again

1. How many words have you written this year?

i published 110,143 words this year! written...... no clue.

the first half of this year was mostly spent working on the jdau, but the second half was mostly spent on working on oc stuff that i dont post anywhere. i have no way of tracking how much i wrote for that bc this year i shifted all of my oc works from google docs to saved files on my computer, so the dates are all fucking wrong. ; ; if you add that mystery number onto the mystery number of scrapped projects and wips..... theres no telling. theres no telling.

2. How many works did you publish this year?

i posted 12 works on ao3 this year, not counting the fics i rewrote. i posted 9 drabbles on tumblr. this wasnt a great drabble year for me, i think.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i like the afterlife drabble i wrote about jason and nico. i feel like every time i write about them theres just something so bittersweet and punchy about it. it was a cool idea that kind of leaves me thinking about the world behind it, but not in a way that needs to be elaborated on.

as far as fics psoted on ao3, maybe under the skin? its such a different dynamic, and the tension is drawn so taut, it walks the line perfectly between violence/hatred and grief/love. its one im always second guessing myself about, but i had so much fun with it, sometimes i just have to remind myself its okay to make things just for the sake of exploration/indulgence.

4. What work of yours has the most hits?

snow day, with about 1k hits. i think thats the fic where a lot of people stop reading the jdau. its short, its fluffy, and i do actually still love this one a lot. i wrote it when i needed it.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i feel like a lot of my drabbles this year were really weak, so ive been surprised by the number of notes some of them have gotten. otherwise, mostly oc stuff? ive always struggled with sharing original content bc it never feels interesting enough, but the few friends i have shared it with have been so supportive and it means everything. @roomfulloferidans and @ashysiashy especially are always encouraging me and motivating me to keep making more, and i mightve given it up a long time ago otherwise tbh

6. Favorite title you used

oh thats gotta be The Family Disappointment actually. i like how much meaning and interpretation is embedded in it. if youve been reading the jdau, you might think its jason, but seeing that the fic centers damian, you might think its him. both boys struggle with feeling like theyre bruces biggest disappointment, but the fic is about brotherly solidarity, and recognizing that maybe bruce is actually the disappointment.

honorary mention to under the skin, bc i think that one was very funny/clever. i also named some oc works "the debilitating fear of garage doors" and "the inherent eroticism of handholding" and i like those a lot.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

its a fucking miracle. for once, i didnt use any.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

i guarantee it was bruharv again. bc the jdau. ive finally finished it tho, so who knows what the next will be?? the world is full of possibility.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

im going to be so real w you. my ocs. their dynamic is so much fucking fun.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

i guarantee it was one of the drabbles. altho i did spend much more time agonizing over them this year

11. What work took you the longest to write?

the jdau. but specifically, im sure it was retirement, bc that one is the longest by miles.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

one!!! im working on a hs fic for the first time in ages, tho i dont have all of my plans for it 100% solid yet. ive got threeish chapters written tho, so i think i will end up finishing it. ill probably start another wip soon so i dont contaminate this one w the urge to write nonsensical fluff.

13. What’s your longest work of the year?

its retirement. its definitely retirement. its 46k and everythign else doesnt really pass 10k

14. What’s your shortest work of the year?

one of the drabbles. on ao3, its off book.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

the aforementioned. its davesprite centric and so far its a lot about family and growing up.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

probably “Harvey Dent Adopts Jason Todd” again. god im so glad im done w that au

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

my ocs. otherwise, im going to say 2f bc he is so babygirl to me w his sexy trauma and anger issues, and rose, bc rose <33333333

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

bruce fucking again i hate writing him so much its unreal hes barely even a person to me hes been written so many different ways so many different times the source material is basically a suggestion and i HATE IT. also, nepeta. i cant get her voice right and its killing me and i refuse to write in pesterlog format im NOT DOING IT

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

eridve baby im coming home <333333 (<- insane) but probably also a lot of hal ships eventually

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

i have reread the jdau so many fucking times reviewing for the next chapter its fukcing unreal and insanity inducing. if i reread it any more im going to start hating it

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year?

772. this feels liek nothing compared to last year but its so much compared to the previous years so i think im doing good and last year was just a fluke

22. Which work has the most comments?

snow day w 7 comments, which tracks, bc it also has the most hits.

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

nope! not this year

24. Did you write any gifts this year?

most of my drabbles were requests, and i definitely wrote some fics w specific ppl in mind, namely @roomfulloferidans (Calming a Storm) and @ashysiashy (some oc stuff), but i didnt technically tag any gifts on ao3 this year

25. Did you receive any gifts this year?

nope! im kind of the writer of my friend group so fics are not generally smthn i receive. however, trustymikh drew this drawing inspired by my mermay bruharv drawing inspired by their mermay harvey drawing, so maybe that kind of counts?? i was delighted to see my bruce design in their style, at least. @roomfulloferidans drew a very nice drawing of my oc rogue that i cherish, @mudp1es and another friend of mine drew our spidersonas, and i participated in an oc art trade where another friend drew my oc barbie. i think those count as gifts, even if its not Ao3 Gifts(TM)

26. What’s your most common category?

M/M again bc i think its hot when men

27. What do you listen to while writing?

i tend to just loop playlists or single songs, unless im really struggling to concentrate, in which case ill switch to white noise.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

my oc fic, the inherent eroticism of handholding, which im 99% sure i did write this year? it captures a very specific kind of uncertain tenderness where a crush is new and theyre feeling out flirting still. i think about the scene where theyre lying together in the dark while everyone sleeps and holding hands for a reason they cant justify, not looking at each other, talking about nothing, all the time. i also rlly like the oc fic i just finished a lot- domestic(ated).

that i published, i guess under the skin for reasons i already talked about.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

im just gonna collect a few here, bc its hard to pick when i write so goddamn much:

Two Face hesitated. Carefully, he asked, “Do you think they want to get rid of you?” Jason’s eyes flickered away from him, his mouth opening, and then closing. “Yeah?” he said, finally. He sounded unsure.

Water dripped from Two Face's curls and slid off of his nose, spattering against the symbol on Bruce's chest. He found himself blinking hard, his breathing coming fast and tight. "You told me- You were supposed to be- Not even in death. Not even in death, would you have ever told me."

The Backroad Home

Eridan kissed like a fire slowly burning him from the inside out. He tasted like liquid courage and saltwater spray, sticky sweet like taffy the way he stuck in Dave's chest. His hands left scorched trails behind when they slid over Dave's skin, haunting, dizzying, warm like the inside of his mouth.

Calming a Storm

back when he and Bruce had lived so deep in each other’s pockets that the line between his and mine had vanished.

To Late Bruce Wayne

For a while, Two Face just let the breeze wash over him, ruffling his hair as his skin prickled from the chill. A siren blared somewhere in the distance, and he sucked sauce absently from his thumb, setting aside the tupperware. “I care deeply about this city,” the TV crackled. “That’s why I’m donating-” Two Face tucked a cigarette between his lips, pulling his lighter out of his pocket. There was a ritual to it. The slow inhale, the gradual exhale. The wind pulled the smoke from his lips, and it disappeared over the rooftops. Bruce’s laugh washed over Two Face. It was vapid and fake over the airwaves, but the memory of it rattled around Two Face’s chest, warm and startled as they rolled in the sheets in Bruce’s dorm. Longing took hold and ached.

Under the Skin. there are a lot of great lines from this one, but this may be my favorite

Spectre's chin bumped gently against Rogue's shoulder, inches left between them, and Rogue thought about how easy it was to steal things in the dark. "Tell me about something," Spectre whispered. "Anything. And I'll sleep."

the inherent eroticism of handholding. this whole fic was very quoteable and so is Domestic(ated) but i will make this my single oc quote.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

that people would like my ocs, really. moth tenderly cares for them like real blorbos and i still dont really know how to process that

#2023 wrapped #maybe ill remember tht maybe i wont

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raisinghellonstarbug · 3 years

Text

Stumbled Into Laughter, Stumbled Into You - A James Acaster x Reader Story

Basic plot: The year is 2019, and life has been quite dull for you since working in a job that you hate for the past two years after graduating from university. You used to do stand up comedy at uni, but you’ve been putting off pursuing it due to lack of confidence and motivation. Your best mates decide to encourage you to try a comedy mic night for the first time ever and while there you incidentally run into an old mate of yours, comedian Rhys James. That’s when your life gets turned around as you end up diving into the world of the comedy circuit and becoming close with other famous British comedians. In the midst of it all, you end up meeting a particularly distinctive red headed fellow who might end up being the very thing that brings meaning to your life again.

A/N: Hello Acaster fans!

So this was an idea I have had in mind for the last few months and I finally finished the first chapter of my story!

Just so you know, the first chapter does not include James, but be patient as he will appear soon (but maybe not quite as soon as you hope). I do reckon it will be worth the wait for his appearance, or at least I hope the story is still enjoyable! It is a slow burn so if you are an inpatient person, then this story might not be for you ;)

You can read this chapter below or if you prefer, there is also the link to the chapter posted on Ao3 right here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33748507

Rating: M

Chapter 1 word length: 2326

Characters: James Acaster (duh), Original Female Characters(s), Original Male Character(s), Rhys James, Ed Gamble, Nish Kumar, Josh Widdicombe

Relationships: James Acaster x Reader/you, Original female character/Original Male character

Story tags: Romantic comedy, domestic fluff, slow burn, fluff and smut, British comedy, eventual relationships

Tagging: @laurabeech @rilannon @jasclearwaters @marklily @queensantiagoofthe99

Chapter 1 - Summer 2019

You were sitting at your desk at your mundane job, practically ready to blow your brains out on the usual, dull Thursday afternoon. It was really warm and stuffy inside the fifteen story office block building situated in Canary Wharf. This was a place you found yourself five days a week, doing the typical 9 to 5 hours. A usual day for a usual person.

Your job wasn’t a particularly riveting one. As an underwriter for an insurance company, some days could get especially boring. You knew how to do the job well, but it was not something you really loved. It involved all kinds of clients and claims in paperwork and it sometimes felt tedious and unfulfilling. But hey, it still paid your share of rent and bills. At least you could say you could manage in the hustle and bustle of the London lifestyle.

It was nearly hometime and you were itching to get home and relax. But before that could happen, there were those last set of insurance cover forms you had to copy to get sent to the HR department. And so you typed away on your laptop, clickety clack, clickety clack… the minutes went by like a chalk on a blackboard, scraping away at a snail’s pace.

You put your full force of concentration on the documents on the screen until it was finally done. A sense of achievement was necessary in these moments despite your lack of enthusiasm. It was in the little victories you reminded yourself. You rubbed the sweat from the July heat off your forehead.

* * *

The last 2 hours eventually passed by and it was soon the rush to get out of the door before you got held up by your colleagues. They were nice enough, but sometimes they could hold you back for half an hour chatting when you just wanted to get home, or your manager might try and get you to stay an hour overtime.

Thankfully you did get out promptly, and as you ran and dashed out of the office building saying brisk goodbyes to coworkers, you managed to make it to the tube with the train just arriving on time. But not without being moderately sweaty and hot though. Bloody stuffy platforms.

As expected it was still a busy train with plenty of 5pm finishers getting themselves situated on the half crowded carriages, but as it was only 10 past, it wasn't the worst time of day for commuting yet.

You perched yourself on one of the tube’s seats and let your shoulders drop, having held the tension in your body from sitting at a desk all day. You placed your head slightly back, balancing it on the window of the train. You looked up momentarily above you and then lifted your head back up to look at your phone and choose a song to listen to on Spotify through your wireless earphones.

The streams of sound from one of your favourite songs began to play softly in your ears and you smiled, knowing that the song gave you a little bit of wistful joy. You started mouthing the words.

Call it all for nothing, but I'd rather be nothing to you. Than be a part of something, something that I didn’t do (Best to You - Blood Orange).

The words half mean something but not necessarily anything. You began to wonder about being part of something that you’re not.

I just wish I could float away from my unexciting existence… you thought to yourself.

It sometimes occurred to you that you might have wanted something more out of life, but weren’t entirely sure what. It doesn’t make you dreadfully sad, but you know that life for you hasn’t exactly been the best it could be, and that perhaps something was missing. You wish you knew what it was.

You sighed, ignoring the feeling of sorrow wash over you momentarily and propped yourself back up in the uncomfortable seat of the train. You tried to keep yourself awake so that you wouldn’t miss your stop. The music continued through your ears.

* * *

You opened the door of the three bedroom flat that you had been residing in for the last two years with your flatmates and sighed with relief that you had finally reached home. You hurried to get your handbag off your shoulder and your shoes off, placing them on the rack next to the front door and walked through the hallway.

The minute you poked your head through to the lounge, bellowing a faint hello to whoever was around, you were suddenly greeted by one of your best friends and flatmates, Grace.

“Ahh Y/n! You’re home. Thank christ!”

She grabbed you and reached her arms around to embrace you tightly. You were perplexed by this gesture as it was so random and unusual given that Grace lived with you and saw you everyday of the week. You frowned and reluctantly placed your arms around her to return the hug.

As she then let go, she looked at you with urgency in her eyes and shrieked with excitement, “Oh Y/n guess what? It looks like I’m up for a promotion! Can you believe it?”

Now processing the reason for such an embrace, you raised your eyebrows in glee and smiled proudly, gushing back to your best mate who was obviously chuffed by the matter.

“Oh wow Grace, that's fantastic! I mean, finally. It is about bloody time!”

She smiled, “Yes I guess it is. But I mustn't get too excited. I haven’t officially got the promotion yet.”

“Ah but no. I’m not having any of that. You will get that promotion. It is a guarantee. They would be idiots to not give it to you.” Grace rolled her eyes and bit her lip. She reluctantly nodded and agreed.

The smell of food distracted you momentarily from the conversation. It was a particularly appetising smell.

Grace uttered, “Yes that smell is good isn’t it? Theo insisted on cooking us a nice meal for me as a celebration.”

You smiled knowingly, having known about how Grace and Theo had been in relationship limbo ever since you three became close friends at university. You knew they both had feelings for each other but often danced around the subject, completely oblivious to one another’s obvious attraction to the other. You reckoned they had to do something about it one day.

“Thank fuck. I wasn’t prepared to make dinner tonight. I am too tired for that.”

Grace then had her worried face on. She instantly knew, as she knew you too well, but funnily enough never picked up on Theo’s emotions despite constantly wondering about them, that something was wrong.

“Are you ok babe?” she asked with a look of pity that you scornfully resented.

You sighed, half lying, “Yes. I’m fine. Just tired is all.”

You made a beeline for the couch knowing full well that you were going to talk about it whether you liked it or not. You knew that Grace would see right through your dishonesty and insist that you told her the problem.

So you waited until Grace inevitably sat next to you and gave you that sympathy look she always gave you before coming out with the concerns that were floating around your brain.

“OK fine. I know you won’t leave me alone unless I tell you.”

“Ahh, you know me so well…”

“Yes, just as you know me. I’m just- I’m fed up. Work was slow. I don’t really feel like I’m associated with my life. I feel... disconnected, I guess.”

“Do you have any idea why?”

You shrugged and looked down at the floor and then back at Grace smiling sheepishly, “I don’t know. Maybe I’m not- not fulfilled? I just don’t thoroughly enjoy my life right now.”

Grace nodded and put a hand on your leg. You twitched your face in slight discomfort. You hated it when you were given sympathy for something that seemed so miniscule. It wasn’t like you were dying.

It was times like this when you just wanted to curl up in your bed, eat a tub of ice cream and watch your favourite comedy programmes. 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown sprang to mind.

As you sat in momentary silence for a bit, Theo came waltzing through from the kitchen with his silly apron on that had a naked man’s body printed on it, and a spatula in his hand. He smiled at you.

“I thought I heard your voice. I hope meatballs for dinner are good tonight. Not mine of course,” gesturing to the apron as he said it.

You shook your head at Theo’s poor dad joke and stood up to hug him. You realised that you must be really down in the dumps to be hugging Theo. It was his turn to be confused. He looked towards Grace wide eyed.

“She’s had a particularly tough day. But mind you babe, you’ve kinda been like this for weeks now.”

You let go of Theo and turned to Grace, frowning and feeling slightly defensive. You placed a hand on your hip.

“Been like what? I’ve just been a bit fed up, that's all.”

“Yes but it’s not just a bit fed up. You said so yourself you feel disconnected. We’ve been waiting for you to say it.”

You looked to Theo and he nodded gently in agreement.

“Ok… but, nothing is really wrong exactly. My life is fine.”

“Fine, yes. But not amazing. We know it’s getting you down. And the job is the problem.”

“But I’m good at it. And it pays the bills. What else am I supposed to do?”

Grace then looked away from your eyes then, twitching her lip and looking as though she was holding something back. She then sighed and began to admit something you had not been expecting.

“OK look. We know what you can do. Theo and I have figured it out. We can manage money wise. It will be tight, but if you quit your job we should be able to help you out for a little bit.”

Your eyes grew wider than large saucepans. You were totally bewildered and your mouth slightly agape.

“What? Quit my job? Why? What work would I get instead?”

“Well, maybe you won't quit your job yet. Maybe you’re right, that's too hasty. Perhaps what I’m trying to say is-”

Theo then chimed in, “-what Grace is trying to say is…”

You smirked to yourself. How do they not realise that they’re already a couple but without the sex? They’re practically married for christ sake.

“...we reckon that you need to pursue your passion. Perhaps stop wasting your talents in an office job that you hate.”

Grace continued, “yes exactly. We have had an idea in mind. See, we want you to go to this thing… it’s no biggie but well, we’ve already booked it for you.”

Your mind was racing. You couldn’t understand anything that they were saying to you. It was all too much for you to manage.

“Booked what for me? What the hell are you both going on about?”

They both looked at each other with reluctance, pondering the moment and whether to tell you the whole truth. They both shrugged and Grace was then pulling her phone out, this whole conversation beginning to appear as though they had been trying to practice it.

Suddenly Grace’s phone screen was wavering in your face. You moved your head closer to see a photo on the screen. It was a comedy club night poster. Incidentally, it was an open mic night event happening on Saturday night. You began to then put the puzzle pieces together. You folded your arms and frowned heavily.

“What the fuck have you two done now?”

Theo softly spoke, “We… booked you a slot to do that comedy open mic event thing, on Saturday night.”

“Wait. As in to perform? You can’t be serious-”

Grace tried to reassure you and grabbed your arm.

“Look, we know it might seem daunting, but we just wanted to see you happy again. It’s been two years since we graduated and you haven’t performed since then. We thought it might be good to encourage you to perform again. You were always funny to us. And people at uni thought so too. You have the stand up talent, Y/n.”

You could not process anymore. You shook your head in disbelief and placed your head in your hands, rubbing your eyes from sudden exhaustion. You then threw your hands up in exasperation. It was not possible. You could not do that again.

Fucking no way. I can’t be on stage again! It’s too scary. University pub nights are one thing but a comedy club?

You shook your head again and placed your hands on your hips. Grace tried to speak up again seeing the frustration painted across your face. In fact it was anger that your friends chose to do this without your say so.

“Y/n…”

“No. Nope. I’m not doing it. No.”

“But Y/n, we were also going to tell you that Theo is also thinking of doing the same thing! He wants to do his music again. What harm would it be for you to rejuvenate your comedy skills? Surely you can write a quick couple of gags. Nothing strenuous. You have your old material from university, right?”

You had to get out of the room. Nothing that they were saying to you could be fully accepted at that moment.

You then gave them no choice but to let you go with your head in a flurry. They both watched you leave the room, mumbling something along the lines of I’m not really hungry anymore, I’m going to bed. Soon after, you darted across the other end of the hallway, ill-tempered and almost seething, and slammed your bedroom door shut.

#james acaster #james acaster fanfic #james acaster x reader #james acaster x you #original female character #original male character #original story #off menu #eventual romance #slow burn

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yumeka36 · 3 years

Text

Frozen 2.5 - Prologue + Chapter 1

I’m literally shaking. I can’t believe this day has finally come.

I first began work on this project back in November, on Frozen 2′s anniversary to be precise, and have worked on it for countless hours since. My artist for the project, the talented @myrthena, has also been working hard on the above cover art and other illustrations. After tons of edits and re-readings, I can’t express how happy I am to finally share it with all of you!

Frozen 2.5 is my next big Frozen writing project. But unlike my previous one, Seek the Truth, which is an essay-style analysis book, Frozen 2.5 is a post-Frozen 2 fanfiction novel, created very much in the same vein as the official Frozen novels Dangerous Secrets and Forest of Shadows. Anyone who’s been following my posts for a while knows that I mostly do essay/editorial writing and have never had much interest in reading or writing fanfiction. But like any fan, I’m always playing out fanfiction stories in my head. I just never felt the need to write one out in full - until now. But before you get to reading the story, a quick introduction is in order:

I had two main goals while writing Frozen 2.5. First goal was to create a Frozen story that would be indistinguishable from something Disney would officially release as a feature-length film. I wanted fans, whether hardcore or casual, to read this novel and think, “Yeah, I could see Disney making this for the next Frozen movie.” Obviously, that means there’s nothing in the story that would warrant a rating beyond PG, but as anyone familiar with Disney movies knows, that certainly doesn’t mean the story can’t have drama, angst, and dark moments (which it does). And my other goal, and probably the more important one, was to create a story that appeals to a wide range of Frozen fans, especially fans who are having trouble imagining if fun, likable scenarios can still take place with the new direction Frozen 2 took for our beloved characters. With that in mind, even though I’m not well versed in the Frozen fanfic community, I’m pretty sure my story will have some similarities to others (the world of Frozen does lend itself easily to common headcanons and narrative ideas). But in spite of this, I’m hoping Frozen 2.5 has enough of my own unique touch as a writer, and die-hard Frozen fan, to be something very interesting, unpredictable, and overall enjoyable for fans of many ages and tastes.

I’m going to be releasing a new chapter of the story every 1-2 days, starting with the prologue plus chapter 1 today, and ending with chapter 7 (the final chapter) and the epilogue on April 11th. Each chapter will have an original illustration by myrthena as well. The entire 63K+-word novel is written already, so don’t worry about me getting writer’s block and not finishing it. I just need a little more time to compile the illustrations and do a final review.

The release schedule is below (I’ll try to stick as close to it as possible, though it may vary slightly). You can follow me here or on Twitter to be notified when the new chapters are available. You can also check the respective pages on FF.net and AO3 (linked at the end of this post):

Release Schedule:

-Sun. 3/28 (today): Prologue and Chapter 1

-Tue. 3/30: Chapter 2

-Fri. 4/2: Chapter 3

-Sun. 4/4: Chapter 4

-Tue. 4/6: Chapter 5

-Fri. 4/9: Chapter 6

-Sun. 4/11: Chapter 7 and Epilogue

For the final release on April 11th, I’ll also include a complete edition that has all the chapters and illustrations together in one pdf, including an afterword written by me (where I discuss some history and final thoughts on the project).

With all that said, please enjoy the prologue and chapter 1 linked below. I have poured my heart, soul, and every fiber of my being as a Frozen fan into this story!

-----

Story Summary: It’s been about half a year since the events of Frozen 2. Anna is adjusting well as queen of Arendelle, and Elsa has been making slow but steady progress with reconnecting the spirits with the Northuldra. And while both sisters, as well as Kristoff, have been trying hard to create a unity between Arendelle and Northuldra, decades of animosity is proving difficult to mend. However, the new status quo is interrupted when Anna receives a letter from a queen of an unknown kingdom - a queen who still thinks that Elsa is the queen of Arendelle. Our heroes soon get caught up in the mysterious plans and dark history of this strange kingdom and its enigmatic queen. Trusts are tested, courage must rise against danger, answers slowly come to light, and in the end, all sides must come together to overcome an impending threat.

The prologue and chapter 1 mostly reintroduce the characters and their current status, and have a lot of endearing Frohana moments. But there is foreshadowing of the calm before the storm...

*I recommend reading the PDF version since FF.net and AO3 have limitations (not a lot of font choices, can’t show all images, no distinction between prologue/epilogue and chapters, and FF.net doesn’t let me have a period in the title)*

*Read PDF version HERE (recommended)

*Read on FF.net HERE (it’s called “Frozen 2 5″ because FF.net doesn’t let you include periods in titles)

*Read on AO3 HERE (thanks to @wintermoonqueen for the invite)

#frozen #disney frozen #frozen 2 #frozen2 #frozen fanfiction #fanfic

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wishingicouldfly · 3 years

Text

I've been actively blogging for more than six months, even though I've had a tumblr account for ten years. I started reading One Direction (specifically Larry) fanfiction about the same time.

Originally, I read exclusively canon compliant fiction--I was hungry for industry insider, what-could-have-happened narratives. But I've slowly branched out into other genres. I find fanfic--good fanfic--super calming. When I've had too much stunting, too much noise, I grab a fanfic and immerse myself. So I thought it was time to do a post about my favorites. Keep in mind, I'm terrible at cataloging, and I have over 150 bookmarks on my A03 Account, so this is by no means an exhaustive list.

I'm not including the classics like Tired, Tired Sea and Escapade. While I do love both of those (so well written), because a lot of people know about those already.

My all time favorites are by @helloamhere

1. The Multipicity of Powers - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580229

Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?

Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.

But this isn’t that universe.

//an X-Men AU.

Me: I never thought I'd love a super hero 1D cross over, but this is so well done. The backstory, the pacing, the characterization, the friendship. Read it.

2. Saving Symphony Hall and it's prequel Night Out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633921

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Me: The best sex scene I've ever read is in the prequel Night Out. Sexy, but tender. I love the characterizations in this duo--ABO but not traditional. Doesn't feel out of character.

3. Just Let Me -https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695350

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

Me: I love love love this. Harry is so gentle, and Louis is so stubborn and needy. It's ABO but subtle. I'll read this one again and again. It's comforting.

@HelloAmHere is one of the best writers I know--amazing stuff. I also love their werewolf story, but it's not finished, so I won't link it here.

Other favorites:

1. Seven Up by cherrystreet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828539

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

Me: Trigger Warning, major character death. I literally SOBBED through the end of this. It was lovely and devastating. So good. But be warned.

2. Light, Spark and Fire series by @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

Me: A nice healthy three-parter. Characters you just want to live with for a while.

3. Relief Next to Me by dolce_piccante - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117942

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Me: This one is super long, so be prepared when you dive in. It's got a lot of lovely bits, and some great smut.

4. 2012 'Verse by ashavahishta - https://archiveofourown.org/series/27601

Me: This is a five-parter and satisfies my love of canon compliant stories. It spans most of 2012 and into 2013, and illustrates the difficulties of Harry and Louis' relationship amid the band success and management disapproval.

5. Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31251434/chapters/77248901

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Me: Really unusual (as far as I can tell) end of the world story. I loved the characterizations of soul mates here at the end of the world.

6. Flightless Bird by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401653/chapters/14656807

AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Me: Trigger Warning, sexual assault (by an original character to a major character). This was a little brutal because I hated to see a broken Harry, but it was well written and has a happy ending.

7. Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816771/chapters/3900322

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

Me: I loved Louis in this one--actually they are both pretty great. Scratch that, they are ALL pretty great.

8. Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331958/chapters/7285322

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Me: I don't like the self-hate here, but it was necessary for the story and H comes around. Found family vibe.

9. Gods & Monsters by Velvetoscar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Me: I loved Harry in this one. Louis gets there. I don't like Liam, but I don't think you're supposed to. Zayn is great.

10. Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010796

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

Me: Harry is lovely in this one. Trigger warning, substance abuse and near death.

11. Wild Love by purpledaisy - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1030904

AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Me: I loved this way more than I thought I would. It's lovely and messy and I love it.

12. Victorian Boy by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosann1986/readings?page=6

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Me: Historical fiction I didn't intend to love. I LOVE Harry in this one. LOTS of smut, so be warned.

13. Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30752633

Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

Me: lovely, protective Louis just trying to do the right thing.

14. Turning Page by purpledaisy for SockstheDog

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826345

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

Me: sweet love story. Niall owns a bar, and is pretty great.

15. Freedom Always Comes With a Price by Cyantific - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30278514/chapters/74624262

A shared dream brings them together onto the X-factor stage, but one decision changes Harry and Louis’ lives overnight. Thrust into a world of instant stardom, they're forced to live a lie to sustain their dreams, but years of living in the shadows and under strict management takes its toll.

With the bands impending hiatus, there’s no better time for change, so they think.

Desperate for a solution, they turn to an unlikely source with a radical plan. An unfortunate accident sets everything in motion, but not how they intended, leaving Louis’ memories altered, Harry broken-hearted and full of regret.

Can Harry figure out a way to fix everything? Will he even want to once he sees how Louis moved on after the hiatus? Will Louis ever find out the truth of their past and can he forgive Harry after all this time?

In the end, two friends find out that memories are elusive, trust is everything and love is the only antidote.

Me: Heartbreaking when they lose each other, but really good in the end.

16. Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025519/chapters/13821628

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

17. Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30253536/chapters/74556744

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Me: Niall is great. They almost miss each other in this one, and you just want to bash them over the head. But they figure it out.

18. At Risk, I Fold by clare328 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542480

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Me: A canon compliant fic that feels like it could have really happened. Set in 2015. Lovely first chapter and scene where Harry writes If I Could Fly--i could read that chapter over and over.

19. Into The Blue by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035822/chapters/2065499

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Me: AKA the Scuba fic.

20. Tie Your Heart by ArcadianMaggie - https://archiveofourown.org/works/546688/chapters/973236

Harry grows wings.

Me: How can you not love a fic where Harry grows wings? Trigger warning: injury of a major character.

21. I think I'll end this here. My last and probably first favorite (read it more than once) is...

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach - https://archiveofourown.org/works/934996/chapters/1820282

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Me: I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and I'm a huge fan of time travel, so this is right up my alley. It's really well done, weaving canon into fantasy and then going years forward in tme. I love everything about it. Great character development. Really good smut. Trigger warning, there's a little underage sex, so be aware. Anyway, LOVE this one so much.

I'll add to this but it's already longer than I meant it to be.

#fanfic #recommendations #fic suggestions #my favorites #Larry fics #I love the love

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