#but I digress. I’m not really saying this because I’m Sad it’s more of a.... like you know when you put food in your mouth and the nausea
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cuddles, please?
sick fyodor d. x sick reader
requested by -- sweet anon! (click here for more context)
involves -- domestic relationship, a touch starved gn reader, scenario held place in summer & possible russian mistakes ;_;
headcanons
you feel as if it was your fault sometimes
Because each one brings you a shock, honestly. How was Fyodor also sick with you? One day you just woke up to the sound of him quietly blowing his nose on a tissue, jolting yourself up to sit as you see him sat on the desk, head turned to you in surprise of your wake.
“I’m sorry, milaya. Did I wake you?”
“…Fyodor? Wait- why are you sick?!”
‘Why’ as if he wanted it in the first place. Your sad little face and teary eyes would make him a little startled at first—perhaps even a bit amused as the process went ahead, but eventually would he coo to you how he’s okay, and that it wasn’t your fault regardless if you had the fever first.
endless mutual worry and care
Now that you both were sick, it was kind of hard to balance out who should take over for who. But now, it’s as if the care rocks back and forth a little too quickly… yet who were you to complain? He didn’t seem to complain either.
“Really, (Name). I’ll be okay. I’ll make us a cup of tea, you sit there.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do all the work.” You frown out, peeking from his behind as he was already holding two cups. “Mm.. how about I make you your cup while you make mine? I promise to add your jam..” You deal out, a small smile copying his that eventually came out too.
“Want me to tell you a Russian bedtime story?”
Sometimes, when the nights were difficult to sleep through and boring since you still don’t get to hold Fyodor because of his ‘reasons’, you end up staying awake in these hours. He obviously realizes this, at first just watching you in hopes you’d close your eyes at it. But when you just can’t,
“Mm, (Name). Come closer.” He whispered, catching your attention.
“Yes, why?” You ask, although doing as told whilst you scoot closer, both of you on your sides as you look up at him curiously. “Will you finally give me a hug?”
He shook his head, but before you get to complain again—“I want to tell you a bedtime story. Would you like me to?” he strikes up the question, earning your excited nod.
Those nights end up easier to go through as you hear his lovely, addicting voice. You’d, albeit faint, sometimes hear him say ‘Я тебя люблю’ a lot during the ending of each story, sometimes even hear it add up with ‘так сильно’ after the ‘Я’, which made you really curious about what he actually said. Unbeknownst to you though, your lover was saying ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you so much’.
you’re too cute for him to resist.. sometimes…
Despite how you know Fyodor prefers to be warm, he actually denies your touch still, reasoning that “We’ll sweat together” or “I might cough on you”. Personally you saw these reasons unlikely of him, but instead of arguing, you improvised.
“Fyodor… I want to take a nap.” You whine out, placing your head carefully on his lap as he sits there leaning on the bed frame, gazing at the afternoon sky.
“Then nap,” He replied, tilting his head though still not facing you. “You want to sleep there, don’t you? Just this once, milaya.”
“Hehe, okay.”
You knew he knew your tricks, but if he lets you? You’ll take it all the way. It made him happy too, seeing you want him even if he already said for you to feel otherwise.
scenario
“(Name), you shouldn’t use your phone so often.” You hear whilst you do as digressed—finger scrolling through the endless sea of posts and rants your friends flocked your feed with.
Despite summer being this new opportunity for a big blank canvas to paint with vibrant and eye catchy colors, they’re instead using their time to click through letters upon letters and share rants about how they’d be doing better things right now like ‘making life more colorful’. What irony, huh?
Speaking of, what about you? Why were you scrolling through these rants? Well, you had your reasons. One of which was because of somebody’s state right now.
“I’ll be okay, Fyodor..” You whine out, rolling on your back as the soft mattress hugs it just right, you able to let out a quiet sound of satisfaction from it whilst you kept your hands on the phone.
It’s only been a few minutes since you even had your phone screen unlocked, so you found it quite irritating that he was already telling you to get off. “Meanwhile, I personally think that you stop worrying and get-” You’d trail, momentarily pausing when you hear Fyodor’s coughing interrupt you; “…more rest.” finishing with a sigh.
“Mm, and what does that make you, milaya?” He replied, slowly putting down his hand which was just covering his mouth a few seconds ago. “Aren’t you going to rest?”
“I don’t want to.” You pout, once again rolling against your stomach as you swing your feet up and down, your toes hitting the pillows. But you weren’t that petty to hit your lover, so you also slowed down a bit, turning your head back to him. “I can’t find my eyes sleeping.”
“That’s because you’re on your phone.” He points out with a small gesture, his own head tilting to the side before he sighed—“My.. come here.” patting the spot beside him whilst he carefully sat up. You wondered if you should play around a little with your boyfriend, but because he was sick, you denied the taunt.
So you press your palms on the bed sheets as you get yourself sat up, one hand moving to click your phone shut. You crawl back to Fyodor, pout softening to a normal gaze as you considered to hold him, but his body language didn’t seem to match the thought. Instead you sit beside him, hugging your knees a little.
“You’re upset with me, (Name). Isn’t that right?” He cooed, a finger delicately brushing strands of hair away from your face as your cheeks peach up, although react no further than that. “Why should I be?” You question, fingers finding themselves holding onto your kneecaps.
“Let’s see… because I keep refusing to hold you?” He immediately had a response to, a soft smile on his face. To the normal sight, Fyodor might even be seen as charming and such a gentleman for smiling like that for his lover, but to you—oh you knew… that his smile was definitely a taunting, teasing one.
You groaned at the knowledge, a frown coming back rather than a pout. “I don’t understand why not? We’re both sick.” You tampered, tapping onto the bedsheets like an impatient customer.
“That’s exactly why.” He replied almost in a fake surprised voice, putting his hand down as he picked up the bottle of sanitizer on the bedside table, spraying alcohol on the hand that he coughed on earlier before showing the bottle to indirectly ask if you want to do the same. You take it, mainly so that he can rub both of his hands together. But you also end up spraying a bit on your hands, plopping the bottle on the beside table on your side before facing him again.
“What do you mean ‘that’s exactly why’? I want to hug you, Fyodor. It doesn’t matter if you’re sweaty! Don’t you wanna warm up from the air conditioning?” You contrast, spreading your hands a little in desperate request for his hug. “You know it’s you who’s the main reason why I hug you, not just because of how it feels.” You even add, hoping it’d move his heart.
He quietly chuckles at your claim, which honestly boosted up your hopes… for a moment, until you see his gaze back to normal without even a hint of change in his answer. What- did he seriously just laugh at you because he takes pity on your desperation?
“O-or just forget it..” You scoff out, your arms crossing each other as you turn around, your stuffy nose deciding that now would be the great time to embarrass you as you sniffle, although try to hold it back just to appear more… oh, what even was the proper word?
You were just petty. And upset that you can’t hold your lover. “I don’t need your hug anymore.” You add whilst laying down, to which you wouldn’t know how it’d affect him as your back was turned to him.
He was quiet for a little bit—Fyodor resting on his elbow with a faint smile as he indulged a bit more into your reaction. You were always either so attractive or so cute to him, now being the latter as he moved his elbow away, lying down on his side with his body facing you.
You refused to initiate the talk again, although your arms would slowly fall back from crossing each other, pressing against the smooth mattress as you hum in delight.
At least the bedsheets felt nice. It was one of the more lighter coverings, one silkier and nice to the touch so it’d ease the both of you to sleep.
And it worked exactly as it’s purpose.
Before you and even Fyodor knew, he’d hear quiet snoring coming from you, your body’s tension gone and melted as the cold of your air conditioning eased the sweat off.
His smile fades, although face keeping a soft look on it while he thought, “I couldn’t even get to move yet… but you’re already sound asleep.” left to look at your beautiful hair and your back hinting your slow breathing.
But quickly would he grow sleepy of watching you, his eyes glancing at the door for a bit before they fall back to you.
He planned to go outside the bedroom to get a hot cup of tea, even more so excited earlier as he thought of sharing the sudden idea with you, but found himself discarding it.
“Tomorrow..” Fyodor tells himself, closing his lips as he moves closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist as careful as possible without you waking up.
He’d close his eyes at your scent, his love for your smell never leaving even if the both of you were sick. At that moment, he had genuinely hated how his nose was stuffy as well—loathing it to disappear just so he can indulge more in you.
But him in your arms was enough. To see you asleep and peaceful kept him calm and satisfied.
Fyodor scoots closer so his head meets your shoulder, resting it there comfortably as he kept you warm. “Good night, (Name).” He hummed out, pressing a kiss on your shoulder before rubbing your skin softly with his thoughts lingering—“Get well soon for me. Because I’d rather see you feel better than see anything else right now.”
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#krei headcanons#bsd dostoevsky#bsd imagines#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyodor imagines#bsd fyodor#bsd x gender neutral reader#bsd#bsd x you#bsd x reader#fyodor fluff#fyodor x reader#fyodor headcanons#bungou stray dogs fyodor#fyodor hcs#fyodor dostoyevsky x reader#fyodor dostoevsky#fyodor x y/n
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And yeah the Fred comment really showed that there wasn’t much communication about Fred showing up beforehand.
this might be my #1 problem with fred. it feels like the admin is trying to guess what tubbo would want instead of the two of them talking a little behind the scenes. of course tubbo could reach out too but it's still reactionary in a way that doesn't make much sense in lore.
tubbo is sad about fred and holds a funeral -> fred sends a coded message about escaping. tubbo is upset about fit and pac dating and others assume he's jealous -> fred shows up at spawn. tubbo finds out irl that there was a miscommunication -> fred shows up at the factory. tubbo complains about being single on valentine's day -> fred plans to show up and surprise him.
fred either needs to be a regular part of tubbo's life or there needs to be a logical reason for when they show up. i don't even know what frubbo fans want right now because there's no realistic way for fred to be a proper partner to tubbo. it was cute, then there was miscommunication, and now it just doesn't fit with the plot. also this might be just be me but it's starting to feel like fred is a completely different character on other streams instead the same person but showing a different side to tubbo. there's too much of a disconnect for me.
Yeah i get what you’re saying with the disconnect. Honestly, the more we hear about frubbo the more obvious it is that the admin just doesn’t communicate with Tubbo about it.
Fred showing up makes zero sense with not only tubbos lore but the server plot in general and it puts ccTubbo in an awkward spot of being thrown into a romantic setting that he may or may not be comfortable with. Frubbo made sense in the beginning, the letters and the secrecy made sense. It also helped show more of how the Feds work and how the workers view themselves versus the islanders. There was a reason for Fred beyond being tubbos love interest (some people don’t get that but I digress) but that’s just not that way now.
I mentioned before how I feel about the admins lack of communication for this plotline, but overall it just feels like fan service as opposed to a genuine plot point now. Fred shows up when it’s convenient or when there will be a reaction from people (like Valentine’s Day) imo and it’s at the detriment of the server lore and tubbos lore as a whole. I’m not a fan of the direction that the character has taken and there doesn’t seem to be a mutual agreement between the two people carrying this storyline about their relationship or story as a whole.
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treating myself to some old OP episodes to alleviate the horrors and i can’t resist the urge to ramble about bell-mère’s death a little bit.
so, i will start here, with this iconic moment:
manga readers may notice something right off the bat. “hey, arlong’s not aiming for her head!” yes, in the anime, seems they switched his aim for the heart. i actually prefer this. first of all, that flintlock is huge compared to her, so head or heart, it’s gonna kill her. not a fatality issue. i’m just a huge sap, and i think there’s something more symbolic about him shooting her in the heart for defending her love - her kids. (even tho all of this could have been avoided if she just lied, and then she’d actually be able to keep loving and supporting her kids, but, uh, i digress)
this moment really captured me when i was first watching, because for the first time, one piece truly felt dark. this wasn’t just an upsetting backstory. it had some element of gore here, which i’m not sure would be as effective if he went through with a headshot. they might have censored it a bit more.
more (slightly gruesome) photos and analysis beneath the cut 👀
look at what they got away with here!! this was early one piece mind you, so i feel like things were generally a little cushier? (or maybe that’s just my nostalgia talking XD) but the harsh black and white contrast, the utter silence during this scene, the speed in which this happened! (it was a pain to pause and scrub and get good screenshots, let me add). i will say i’m not up to date with current OP shenanigans, but to me, this seems like one of the most abrupt and brutal deaths in the series. (and this doesn’t even put into account the horrid beating she got beforehand)
there are some nice parallels here between her death and rosinante’s, (most notably her last words being “i love you” to nami and nojiko, and a flintlock as the weapon of choice), but even then, i think this is a bit nastier. seven little bullets in a 10ft tall man is painful, yes, but it wasn’t gruesome, and he managed to cling onto life for a little while afterwards. this was just. bang. done. heart – gone. leaves the viewer totally reeling.
in a way i feel like it’s almost an honor for bell-mère to get such a violent death? okay hear me out i know that sounds crazy. she sacrificed herself for her kids and went out kicking and screaming (or standing solemnly, towards the end). she brought forth such a refreshing take on women in one piece. i mean, let’s not forget this scene:
she was gonna blow his brains out!! zero hesitation!! how many characters in this series, let alone women, would go through something like this? i get that different characters have different honor codes and such, but it was sooo incredibly invigorating to see a woman get her hands dirty like this.
so by that logic, it’s kind of weirdly nice to see her not be treated like a little doll? this is highly speculative though, because i’ve noticed there’s this rather annoying trend where women are used as a moral compass for villains. “oh, look how deplorable arlong is, he did that to a young pretty woman!” we see the same thing with doflamingo, for instance, in his “fight” with viola. “oh how heinous, he threw her to the ground! how disrespectful! she’s just an innocent princess!” yeah, ugh. getting off tangent here
this whole scene set a standard for me, (and hopefully other viewers), who kind of saw the series as a fun lighthearted pirate adventure. yes, there was tragedy and sadness before this arc, before this backstory, but something about this moment in particular made my perception tremble. the bar was raised! a compelling character and backstory can have a truly harrowing ending!! a delightful revelation for me, for whatever reason XD
feel free to chime in if ya got any additional comments or takes on the matter. i don’t think bell-mère gets enough love. if you do wanna chime in, just um. be nice. i’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, okay. and multiple interpretations of these scenes are valid! i’d love to hear ‘em! <3
#one piece analysis#because i’m upset and i need to distract myself#this is my first proper unprompted analysis too so go easy on me#i just like the tangerine lady#i think she’s neat#bell mere#bell mère#bellemere one piece#bellemere#she has so many tags#arlong park
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OBLIGATORY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS™ TOWARDS THE NEW OFMD S2 PICTURES
hi y’all. hi besties. every time i think i’m solid and stable on my feet, new footage absolutely pULLS THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER ME ANDNW. EVERY TIME I THINK I’VE SUSSED OUT THEORIES, NEW FOOTAGE IS LIKE LOL NOPE.
So let’s Ramble let’s Discuss because djwndnsnd MANY THOUGHTS HEAD SCRAMBLED-
So this one is the ✨easiest✨ (IN THEORY), and also so very delightful. BECAUSE LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT THESE SMILEY SWEETHEARTS. LOOK AT THEIR OUTFITS AND TEA AND FOUND FAMILY VIBES!!!
I would assume this is on a different ship, or maybe on the “floating market” that was teases in one of the articles. I’m of course leaning towards the Red Flag Fleet based on previous material, but I can’t really figure why or WHERE in the season.
Employing help to catch up with the Revenge? Attempting to stay hidden because Stede ran from the Naval Academy and is subsequently a VERY wanted man? A bit of both?
Either way, CUTIES. (Also that SKY 😩😩😩)
And this one,,, THIS ONE,,,,, 👀? 👀👀🧐🧐???
The first knee-jerk reaction I had to it is an immediate post-reunion shot. He looks very confused—very SHOOK, if you will lol. And he’s still wearing the same shirt he’s been traveling around in for some time. It’s also relatively dingy, which tells me a bit of time has passed.
And that flooring behind him,,, Is that the DECK OF THE REVENGE???
SOOOOOO reunion taking a bad turn? Him tripping back over himself because Ed reacts ENTIRELY differently than he expects? Him just RECOILING in shock???
But then also, I’m like 👁👁, because I feel like it COULD be a misdirect. It COULD be something entirely different. Because I feel like they love doing that with previews lol. Something ENTIRELY innocuous and unrelated to what it APPEARS to look like.
Because, I will say,,, the gloves,,,,,, who is She.
AND THEN THIS ONE,,, 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
does edward teach know i want him carnally
He’s just so so beautiful, but of course we all knew that. WE ALL FIGURED AS MUCH.
I will say though, something that caught my attention in this shot are the marks/cuts on his face. Particularly, the mark/cut on his lip, because it matches up with-
THIS shot. And this in particular is really scrambling my brain l m a o because,,,
My running theory for this was that it was Ed going through some sort of “battling his past phantoms” type journey, and was working towards healing on his own. LITERALLY on his own, because I also thought this came after him falling off the ship/getting thrown from the ship.
And I ALSO thought that him meeting up with the bunch again would come with happiness/healing as a result.
SO SEEING HIM STILL LOOK SAD AND STOIC WITH A BLUNT??? HONEY????? HONEY DARLING??????? I THOUGHT WE WERE GOOD LMAO WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE STILL SAD 😭😭😭
Unless it’s just something more serious, and he IS indeed feeling better. I mean, he doesn’t have his makeup or anything, so he COULD just be in a more grim situation of some sort.
But I digress. #EdDeservesToSmile2kForever
ANNNNNNND THEN THIS LMAO. THIS. THE MOST CONFUSING OF THE BUNCH RIGHT HERE,,,
The position they’re in,,,,,,, 📸🤨
But what REALLY snagged me was Ed’s facial expression qkdjwjdjw like babe WHAT ARE YOU DOING. WHAT ARRRRR YOU DOING WJDNWN
My brain just immediately shouted “FERAL BEHAVIOR” because that looks like me whenever I’m like 🤪. JUST BUG-EYED AND CHEWING ON FLOOR TILES IDK.
…BUT THAT’S ME GOING BONKERS OVER FOOTAGE SO LIKE QJDJWNS,,, IN WHAT CIRCUMSTANCE WOULD ED LOOK LIKE: THAT.
like is frenchie carrying marmalade and ed saw it and pounced and is like ⚫️👄⚫️
because honestly that’s Valid.
But it’s also VERY interesting, because Ed’s makeup is off, and his HAIR is in that one lovely updo. So again, AGAIN, it makes it very difficult to tell what the motivations are/what the characters are feeling, because it’s like,,, ED BABE ARE YOU GOOD??? DO YOU FEEL BETTER??? OR WHAT AKDJWJDS
Regardless, REGARDLESS, I don’t know how they manage when I’m already through the ceiling, but I’m somehow vibrating at an even GREATER level than before. I cannot, and I mean, CANNOT wait to know the context behind all of these.
And cannot BELIEVE we’ll know in ✨less than a month✨
#OFMD#OFMD Season 2#OFMD S2 Speculation#OFMD S2 Spoilers#Gentlebeard#Blackbonnet#Edward Teach#Stede Bonnet#Frenchie#Roach#Wee John#Buttons#Oluwande Boodhari#I’m just#😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫#Revenge Rambles
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since we talked about it, I would love to know which f1 drivers you think would fit the 1989 vault tracks and why? 💕✨
I love this question so much. You know me and my love for lists
A read more, because boy do I have Thoughts™
"Slut!"
This song reminds me of Lewis, there's more reasons as to why but specifically this line
In a world of boys, he's a gentleman
There's an undercurrent of the male character in the song being wealthy, being into fashion
But if I’m all dressed up
They might as well be lookin' at us
And if they call me a slut
You know it might be worth it for once
And then there's the play on words with "And if I'm gonna be drunk /
Might as well be drunk in love". Him having a 0% tequila brand just somehow fits this narrative
Say Don't Go
This just fits Daniel:
I've known it from the very start
We’re a shot in the darkest dark
Oh no, oh no, I'm unarmed
The waiting is a sadness
Fading into madness
Oh no, oh no, it won't stop
There's something about him in that last season at McLaren that fits the tone of this song. I just instantly have this visual of him trying but failing to offer her what she needs from him because he has nothing left to give; McLaren throwing him to the lions every single race weekend has left him a shadow of his former self. Yeah, this one hurt
Now That We Don't Talk
Oh, this song has Lando written all over it.
You went to a party
I heard from everybody
You part the crowd like the Red Sea
Don't even get me started
Did you get anxious though
On the way home?
I guess I'll never, ever know
Now that we don't talk
Lando, with his love for DJ'ing, who gets so in his own head about how things are going, who constantly blames himself and doubts his achievements whenever a race doesn't go according to plan, but then also walks through the paddock with some truly bde. Yeah, this is so him
Suburban Legends
Now, when I first read the lyrics my immediate thought was Daniel:
We were born to be national treasures
When you told me we'd get back together
And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever
There's something cheeky about it, something smug. Which then also lead to, and this was your thinking Ives, Seb. Sebastian is Formula 1's national treasure and that man is such a tease. So the former RedBull teammates can share this one
Is It Over Now?
Oh, I love this song. There's some truly clever song writing in this. Anyway. I digress.
This song? This is Charles, it fits him so well
Let's fast forward to three hundred takeout coffees later
I see your profile and your smile on unsuspecting waiters
You dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor
You search in every maiden's bed for somethin' greater, baby
Charles has this disarming aura, he is so charmingly beautiful, and I like to think of him as being somewhat of a romantic -or at least romanticising the idea of love. However, that man has a type and that is "my gf's bff": If she's got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her / Your new girl is my clone
Bonus: Bad Blood (ft Kendrick Lamar)
You can pry this out of my cold, dead hands but this is the song that perfectly describes the relationship between every no2 driver and RB/Horner, but more specifically Mark Webber and RB/Sebastian Vettel:
'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood
You know it used to be mad love
So take a look what you've done
'Cause, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
Now we got problems
And I don't think we can solve them
You made a really deep cut
And, baby, now we got bad blood, hey
Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk asajs 😂
#ask#ivy asks#mar's emporium of lists#lewis hamilton#daniel ricciardo#lando norris#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#mark webber
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have any of you read “Dancing Girl?” gosh, it just made me sad. Mori Ougai is a really good author haha, hahaha. hah… h-
.
..
…
yeah i’m relating this to bsd! Mori. BITE ME!! ahem. so in this essay i will be talking about Elise and Mori’s relationship. i’ve already established i don’t see her as his “wife” or the object of his sexual desires, and i’ve also mentioned i like the “Elise is his daughter,” way of seeing things, however … well, there’s more than just that.
1) Elise represents his inner child
2) Elise preserves the memory of a dead lover and is his “partner”
3) Elise is a child-figure to him
those numbers will be reused in that order to mean the same thing later, but first, background and “Dancing Girl!”
so i think that, within the definition of his and Elise’s relationship, Mori embodies Toyotarou from “Dancing Girl” more than Kanei from “Vita Sexualis” (i think i learned which type of media went in italics and which sort in quotes some time in third grade, but it’s been entirely too long and therefore i’ve forgotten all of it and you’ll have to excuse my poor grammar if im messing it up). why, you may ask? well, first of all, Elise is literally from that novel. second of all, i’ve just skimmed vita sexualis (- an asexual) while “Dancing Girl” managed to catch my attention a lot more. plus, Mori was one of the characters that Asagiri explicitly stated he wanted to add in, and we all know just how evil Asagiri Kafka can be when he feels like it.
… why is the space so long ? why are these spaces different sizes?? this is really bugging me … but whatever, i’ll try my best to ignore it … (nevermind it looks perfectly normal when i post it i guess it’s just a. draft thing)
ahem, so, in “Dark Era,” Mori basically goes “damn Dazai you’re suicidal as hell! you remind me of myself hahah!” and i feel like that’s pretty concrete evidence Mori Did Not have a happy childhood (i mean, duh, considering he was trigger-happy to friendly fire as an important military man at 20 some years old) and was likely suicidal in the past too, to some extent. in that sense, the chains that tie Dazai down, if they’re Odasaku’s last words, are the Port Mafia for Mori. he cannot die as long as he’s sane and capable of leading the PM, because he’s basically the very embodiment of it.
⚠️SPOILERS FOR “DANCING GIRL!”⚠️
alright, onto “Dancing Girl.” i’ll give you a quick rundown. it’s basically about this college dude (25 or so) (haha that reminds me of the, “am i the asshole?” posts. i (M26) just fell in love with a girl (F18) of whom i’ve known since she was a minor and i was still an adult. i got her pregnant by some time after she became of-age, then i left her to pursue my career. am i the asshole?) (godamn it tai you just spoiled the whole novel) (i’ll put a spoiler warning up somewhere in the beginning) (bear with me) with depression who falls in love with a… looks at the parenthesis and sighs deeply.
he doesn’t see any point in anything because his life was just a glorified projection of his mother and school’s desires, so he starts being a little more hedonistic and learning about the arts instead of becoming a lawyer like they wanted him to. he meets Elise (her name) and basically immediately feels attracted to her in some way he can’t put into words (she’s 17ish when they meet btw) and starts teaching her things and basically acting like a sponsor to her. they don’t start getting romantic and/or sexual until some unsaid period of time passes. now i personally choose to interpret this as her turning 18 before they do all that stuff, but since it never explicitly says, well… yeah. Toyotarou is used to living his life in a cushy-ish manner as a child prodigy and what have you, but he eventually gives that away to live with Elise. that being said, his “giving it away” was less of a choice to be with her and more of a digression from a perfect machine into a person with his own stunted feelings.
she makes him satisfied, and he makes her very deeply happy, but eventually he chooses his career over her and she goes crazy because of how betrayed she feels- she really deeply loved him, after all. he pays her mother enough to keep her afloat and to take care of the baby he left in her stomach, and went back to Japan without another word. Toyotarou! you bastard!! (it’s not like he was without remorse, though)
anyway back to the numbers.
1) Mori’s past is pure speculation, but he was a military doctor ranked quite high as a very young man, one that didn’t hesitate to shoot someone on his own side no less (like i said) so it’s probably a given he didn’t have a stress-free childhood. this is an excerpt from “Dancing Girl,” in which i think explains the possibility that Elise represents the angry child inside of Mori that he never got to let out as a real child.
2) given what i said above, this also feels pretty self-explanatory. we basically only know two things about Mori, that he would do anything for the greater good (which is usually the PM/yokohama), and that he longs for a “partner” who will understand and not leave him. it’s possible Fukuzawa filled that role for a while, but Mori is a little unhinged and did some bad things out of obsession, which severed their ties because of Fukuzawa’s innate nature. Mori has called Elise his partner (tsuma, AKA person who stays by my side) (i know nobody says tsuma and means it that way but considering “Yatsugare san” exists (yes i’m looking straight at you, AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE), i wouldn’t put it past Asagiri to use tsuma in that manner) before and acts dramatic as all hell when she dies. it’s almost like … someone called Elise really DID die before?
3) this requires the least explanation. we already know Mori likes children in a non-pedo way, shown by things like how he helped Atsushi gather his courage in Anne’s room (which did nothing for him, btw) and his profession in the beast AU. but what sort of mafia don has a cute daughter?? that’s like ASKING for her to be killed. so Elise, the product of Vita Sexualis, is the next best thing he can have!
Elise also is a lot like the Toyotarou, while Mori acts more like Elise when they’re together. it’s just something i noticed watching the two interact in BSD and DG. the whole idea of having no autonomy is kinda Elise’s (BSD) thing, isn’t it?
my phone is now 20% and i have no charger. i have probably 69 viruses and also since i have apps like tiktok, wechat, and discord… you can imagine how much this poor device suffers, but i regret nothing. yahoo! hope you enjoyed my rant~
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dancing girl#a german dancing girl specifically named Elise#bsd elise#bsd mori#mori ougai#Mori Elise#can i call her Mori Elise?? i mean she’s basically his daughter anyway so#Mori and Elise#toyotarou#god they make me sad#Mori is so traumatized and so babygirl#not all would understand#anyway i’m getting carried away even in the hashtags.. is this who we are???#AH MY PHONE IS AT 5% WHAT THE HELL.#okay i’m posting it now i hope this gets some attention because otherwise i might go crazy /j
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Duck Musings: The Tragedy of Magica De Spell
Tragedy and the Disney Ducks go oddly hand in hand, and we have examined this in several characters, Gladstone Gander and Donald Duck specifically. When it comes to the most tragic character though, I may have to put my money on Magica De Spell, and this isn’t just me being a simp, though I’ll admit that is part of it.
The comic that sparked this Duck Musing was this scanlation by lettheladylead of a 2021 comic by Giorgio Cavazzano titled “Magica De Spell: Origins of a Witch”, which is... pretty much what it says on the tin, the origin story of Magica De Spell. In it, we learn about what happened to her parents, why she is interested in the Midas Touch, and even where Ratface came from. It’s... kind of a sad comic.
Magica’s parents were killed in a spell gone wrong when she was just a baby, probably barley hatched, and from some of the artwork, it appears that they were more focused on the spell than on Magica. After, her Aunt and Uncle took her in, but tried to repress her magic, since this is the same magic that took their loved ones from them. Magica left after learning the truth and deciding to finish what her parents began, and never did seem to return to her Aunt and Uncle.
It is worth noting that there is an alternate backstory as to why Magica wants the Midas Touch, in the comic “The Pact of the Moon”, it is revealed that Magica was not originally evil, but she forced to make the Midas Touch spell by, what I’m assuming is the Witch Council. This lead her to becoming greedy and unscrupulous, again, not a very happy backstory. She also laments about her niece Minima, and how she hopes her niece doesn’t follow the path she herself has went down.
All of this ties into the tragic situation of her current life, always after Scrooge’s dime, always outwitted by the old man, always one step closer but two steps behind her ultimate goal. One of my favourite comics is “The Journey is the Reward”, where Magica does steal the dime, but ends up returning it because, she literally does not know what to do when she’s done. It kinda reminds of that scene in Fight Club where Tyler Durden was talking about always calling his Dad and asking him on what he should do next. It adds a lot to the tragedy of having an ultimate goal, when you don’t really know what you’re gonna do once you have completed it.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention Magicstone, the strange pairing of Magica De Spell and Gladstone Gander. I’ve mentioned “A Gal For Gladstone” prior, but the big tragedy of the pairing, I think was best explored by, once again, Sarah Jolley, otherwise known as ModMad, specifically in their comic “Enough Time to Fall”, because they’re right, it never would work. Even if Magica stayed in her disguise, it would have to disappear eventually, and what then? It hurts because, in A Gal for Gladstone, they were both genuinely happy, and her plan failed because she was genuinely concerned about Gladstone’s safety. One true moment of joy, and it had to be snatched from her.
I wrote a piece of fanfiction titled “Stuck Together Duck” in which, Magica De Spell and Donald Duck get stuck together, and bond a little, because when you look at the two of them, they are quite similar. Lost their parents at a presumably young age, raised by extended family (Donald in part by his Uncle, but mostly by his Grandma, and Magica entirely by her aunt and Uncle), niblings they look after (Yes that is the neutral term for niece and nephew), honestly, it feels weird that this pairing isn’t more popular, but I digress. It goes to show that, at the core of the evil sorceress, is something a lot more tragic than one might initially think.
It’s also worth noting that Scrooge, doesn’t seem to hate her. In several comics, they work together to stop a bigger problem, like a comet hurdling towards earth, or another magic user stealing Scrooge’s dime. Scrooge has also helped Magica in situations where she would, or has, lost her magic abilities, and in one comic, it’s shown that the two of them send birthday cars to each other. So maybe Scrooge sees something in Magica, and I don’t mean that in a shipping way, though feel free to take it like that.
Well, I made a Magica post that referenced three of Magica’s ships. I think I’m done for now.
To wrap up, Magica De Spell is easily one of my favourite characters, and really getting a chance to explore this aspect of her character was fun, and also a little heartbreaking. Maybe someday, Magica will get a happy ending to her story, maybe her nieces will find a path to follow that she can be happy for, maybe she and Scrooge will become genuine friends, we can always hope... and write fanfiction. Lots and lots of fanfiction.
#ducktales#magica de spell#uncle scrooge#Gladstone Gander#donald duck#MagicStone#dimeshipping#donald x magica#topolino#Disney#Disney comics#duck musings
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The woes of running a secret organization; Steven’s burden and complex partnership with K.K.
It is time for some manga meta for Kekkai Sensen! Yes, we will be delving into manga only content through Back 2 Back and the Calamity Auction arc. Anyone who has been reading my meta since Golden Kamuy means I have a love of certain types of characters and Steven and K.K. really fall into that type.
I’m really interested to delve into Steven first and then K. K. (in a later post) but she’ll be in this one for sure because K. K. is intimately tied to Steven all the time in the manga (and I don’t mean in a sexual sort of way).
My previous Steven meta was only based on the anime for the most part and up through episode 7 of season 2. Which really is more stuff from what should have happened before events of season 1. Yet, I digress. I’ve already put out there that Steven has an immense sadness about him in part with how he’s alone and has been making life choices to keep himself alone.
One should always be concerned if this is how you encounter him in the dead of night.
Steven is the ice cold pragmatist to Klaus’ fire filled idealism. Certainly, one always needs to look for that single flicker of light but Klaus can state this openly since someone else is in the dark corners trying to make sure it happens. That being Steven.
Kekkai Sensen characterization and moral conflict scenes
Early on when Steven and K. K. take on the first named Blood Breed in the 23rd Street Station, K. K. gives him absolute shit for being with such a black hearted man. This implies that K. K. is knowledgeable or bold enough to verbally acknowledge that Steven doesn’t always do things above the board. Which likely means that Klaus has to know this as well on some level. Klaus isn’t naive, he’s more compassionate than most but will still crush you if you are inhumane.
Early on, Steven is set up as the deadpan snarker, with a quick quip or sarcastic comment. He loves his coffee and can get seriously hangry (where is my subway sandwich?) and does a lot of boring paperwork that no one else does.
We learn that in ‘Day In Day Out’ about his swanky condo, sophisticated, educated circle of human friends. Who aren’t really good friends.
It says a lot that he’s got Mrs. Veded as his Beyondian housekeeper with whom he is relaxed and chill with. He even appreciates her roast beef enough to smile softly commenting on it.
We also get to see how his relaxed clothing is a white dress shirt, dark pants and slippers. Not only is he in his own home, but Steven is always on guard when out and about. It took me a few reads of this to notice that the manga showing his slippers indicates that he is safe with her. He’s not wearing his special Esmeralda Blood Freeze shoes.
I am always a sucker for domestic scenes and love the one with him chopping and cooking with Mrs. Veded for his party. The first person to arrive is Ellen with her new boyfriend/male fling/something.
Steven is blushing hardcore as he smiles at first. I think it is pretty clear that they were involved romantically at some point in time previously. This is backed up by the next page. They hug while the other guy is just standing there and Ellen even tells Veded that her tentacles look great which is like your hair looks great. I think. She then finally introduces her date.
That is totally a sort of, yeah here was my past fling current date vibe there. The other guests then start to arrive. Everyone seems to know that Steven is overworked and they joke about helping him to party more.
What is most telling though is when he approaches Veded. We can see that his shoes are his work shoes. If he felt okay with the guests, than he’d perhaps wear non-vampire hunting shoes, but he’s got them on.
He thanks Veded for her help and makes it very very clear that she’s done for the night. Only after she leaves does he get a severe expression and tells himself to get things started.
There are almost two pages of all the guests at the dinner party talking to each other in groups while Steven is - completely absent. We only see him when he volunteers to get beer for a few people who are out from the kitchen. When his back is turned to them, they all draw their bioweapons on him and it becomes awkward as they request that he come with them or else. They lay down their job to capture him as a key member of Libra and he at first tries to jest with them.
His snark is on full force when he thanks them for not killing him violently and destroying his place. But even more so that if they wasted that precious Veded roast beef. If Steven cares about you - he really takes anything related to you seriously. Was that roast beef made with care and attention? Yes, thus, the roast beef is to be protected!
The entire group is frozen by his Needles of Absolute Zero attack and then he proceeds to tell them how they blew it. The manga takes it even further with more examples of his observations of various people. His comment about Ellen’s perfume continues the idea that they had been involved when he tells her, that she was previously worried about it being too strong. You’d have to be up close and personal for someone to worry enough about if your perfume is too strong for them.
They of course think that Steven has Libra do his dirty work but that is not the case, he reveals to them that he’s got his own squad to deal with threats like this - ones that can impact key members of Libra, like himself and eliminate them before they get to the rest of the team. Their job is to maintain balance and Steven will maintain that balance.
Steven is also bold enough to reveal that Klaus wouldn’t condone what is about to happen to them with his personal crew but that being interrogated is not going to be good.
He leaves his subordinate to clean things up while he goes out for fresh air with a look of utter defeat and sadness. The man can’t even have a dinner party without people wanting to kidnap/torture/kill him. Fun times. The fact that he goes out alone and then thinks back to the friends he froze and sent off for intel purposes. That has got to suck on so many levels, but what would you do? Let them kill you? Use you to hurt your friends and colleagues and disrupt that balance?
His entire lambasting of himself for having too much fun and being normal is sad and pathetic in the worst way possible. He can’t have any happiness or friends with his job.
Which is why when Veded stops by to check in on him with the party already being over it is so heart warming. He gets to thank her properly. Technically, his party was a complete failure but she was great. He also is polite and friendly with her kids. How many times do humans in Kekkai Sensen act totally normal with Beyondians besides Leo that we see?
This entire interaction between Steven and Veded’s family and the cat shows that he’s someone who cares about all of the residents of HL and wants to protect all of them. He also gives thanks and means it, not some sort of lip service. Other than Leo, the only other character who has totally normal actions with Beyondians on a regular basis is Klaus, but Klaus is the ultimate example of this. This is also before Zed joined their team so the current Libra line up lacked a full non-human.
Another aspect of Steven that is established very early on in volume 1 is how he will act when someone acts against Libra. In this case, it is when Leo was kidnapped.
He is organizing the entire team to rescue Leo to make it clear that whatever you do, Libra will comeback with way more force to make you suffer. And the rest of the team doesn’t have an issue with this policy, they all follow it and operate with full force to stop the other party. AKA, You hurt someone on my team, I will make you suffer tenfold more.
We also get another example of Steven using any means necessary to acquire information in volume 6 about criminal activity in the city. Including seducing a police officer and stealing a USB drive from her. He clearly left her hot and bothered and is strolling along alone before spotting Klaus. Whatever they were up to, he took of his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt and things were getting heated. Until he isn’t and he quickly makes himself presentable for the general public (which in his case is tie and jacket).
He’s cold as he shows him the drive. Klaus didn’t even ask him to tell him about it, and Steven isn’t cocky either.
However, this is really it for the first ten volumes. We know he has his personal squad for dirty but necessary deeds, has definitely used his sex appeal to his advantage and is very protective of those he cares about.
The story continues on with Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back for another ten volumes.
Kekkai Sensen Back 2 Back increases the stakes for Steven’s actions
We get the return of Steven’s personal clean up squad, who also get some more fleshed out information than just being giant thugs.
The background is made clear, for two weeks, Klaus is traveling around the world for Libra business with Gilbert and K. K. That’s right, Steven’s most frequent partner is out of the country.
We learn that Zapp and Zed are in the hospital after being seriously injured by a foe they barely escaped. This indirectly tells us that someone is out there targeting Libra while Klaus, K.K. and Gilbert are away. This means that Steven is in charge.
Patrick really hammers this home for the reading making it obvious that this was not normal and we get this guy named Garrett introduced. He decides to purchase something crazy dangerous and Patrick is concerned about giving him something so powerful.
But in the end, he heads out (notice the number of deadbolts on that door!).
Of course this random guy named Garrett is immediately drawn in such a way that we are suspicious of him. He looks like he’s just walking calmly away but then we see his face shaded in darkness. He’s got an agenda for sure.
Obvious suspicious character warning 101 right here. He proceeds to go into a diner. A lithe individual with a baseball cap and glasses sits down next to him and does something super fast to connect to the man’s phone. The mysterious team gain critical information and decide it is time to contact “Frost”. I’m sorry Steven, but pick a better code name 9_9 .
They speak simply in fear of someone else overhearing them and we can only think who will be woken up. As in these individuals aren’t free to do their own things and have a specific job.
Garrett drives to an abandoned alleyway and arrives at his meeting place. Only to find Steven alone. He at first seems concerned and when he realizes it is Steven his eyes fly open in shock.
We see a very closed off and cold Steven. He’s still slouching but subdued and not looking up either. He is incredibly calm as he addresses Garrett making it clear that the jig is up and Garrett should give up.
Of course, those who he was working with appear. It is the woman from before directly addressing him for figuring out that they’d infiltrated Libra. Thus, Steven is also using himself as bait to draw out the nefarious party. However, he makes it clear that Steven’s behavior is one where he lacks trust in them.
I would think that it is less about Steven not trusting them, but more that it is his job to protect them from having to deal with this. Or that he feels that it is his job to protect the rest of the team from this dirty work. Additionally, Steven wants to punish those who hurt his teammates. Way back in chapter 4, Steven made it clear if someone fucks with Libra they will respond in kind. Of course he hasn’t changed how he feels about these sorts of things since he first appeared in volume 1. She seriously injured Zed and Zapp and Steven is not going to let her forget about that.
His squad is able to pin down the tricky tentacle monster and he asks if they are going to kill her or not. Yet, it seems that she might be in trouble having tussled with them even if they try to get information out of her. Steven maintains a straight face at Garrett looks concerned.
The expression from Steven where he looks dumbfounded that Garrett is assuming that he’s a cold-blooded man seeing all beings as disposable which is harsh. However, he does add that what will happen to her isn’t going to be pleasant. Intelligence seems sexy when you think of James Bond movies and Spy x Family, but so much of it represents an incredibly dark side of human nature. Think more along the lines of Tinker Tailor Solider Spy. Focusing on the lack of humanity demonstrated by the agents and the KGB and what snippets we get today from US intelligence etc etc etc.
What is most interesting is that Steven takes the time to explain why he’s doing what he’s doing. Which honestly, I don’t think Garrett needs or deserves this since the context would imply that Garrett was a voluntary defector trying to take down Libra. The fact that he was eavesdropping on Leo’s conversation with Patrick and Neyka implies that Garrett was confirming that she hurt them and likely helped her to cross paths with them.
Steven is completely business about this. He is managing a crisis, where he has a rat who has compromised the nature of Libra. Yes, he’s going to find out what Garrett knows methodically.
In the face of such a terrifying thought, Garrett of course asks if this is the real Steven and throws out the obvious comparison to Klaus, upright to a fault. This was the absolutely worst thing that he could say to Steven. His eyes narrow and his expression becomes so awful that Garrett is shocked.
The bottom panel shows a man who is beyond upset. He’s sad, disappointed, angry, resigned, foul, and worn out. Steven doesn’t want to do this. It isn’t like he gets up in the morning wondering if he’ll get to interrogate a traitor, who already injured several of his colleagues and was going to injure more.
The action then shifts to the morning as they had limited time to act at night to capture Garrett and get to work. Steven is outside talking with his assistant as they discuss Garrett’s words about what Klaus would think about the situation. The assistant notes that even though Klaus would ultimately reach the same conclusion, he would have tried to take on the pain of someone like Garrett until his actions resulted in the inevitable self-destruction by his actions, likely at the hands of Libra.
The nameless aid is trying his best to make Steven feel better. He believes that one who is the direct aide to a leader is to keep that leader on their path by dealing with things that would distract them and prevent them from being overburdened with more responsibilities. And here, I 100% think that Steven’s aide believes this and is how he does his job as the coordinator for Steven’s squad.
Steven ask him to confirm the statement and he makes it clear that it is the truth. However, the blank expression on Steven’s face tells us that he doesn’t have that sort of faith in his actions. First, hesitant to speak and then only to say “That would be nice, but” and he never completes the statement.
The rest of the team wants him to return since they are having a post-mission office party. I mean, gotta keep up team morale for preventing more damage to Libra. In the end, Steven approves a drink for the strange baby genius and we never get to learn what Steven is thinking but it is clear that he does feel guilty and doesn’t want this to be a part of his job.
This entire chapter shows that Steven is willing to do that it takes to protect the balance, in the city, within Libra and his friends and colleagues.
But this chapter is a teaser preview for the next time that Steven wonders what is right and necessary in a crisis. Again, when he is in charge since Klaus was arrested and he ordered Steven to take the rest of the team and escape.
The evil human eating pot broke open releasing a monstrous creature that Leo rescued and took to the hospital. Using the All Seeing Eyes of the Gods, he determines that the horrible creature is what remains of some of the victims of the pot and the auction house wants it returned to them to put back in the pot.
What is also important to note is that most of the team are present, K. K., Zapp, Zed, Leo and Steven. Leo reveals to the group that the ‘thing’ is human and Steven hunches over it asking if it is alive.
The group needs to determine what to do next. He then looks to the medical professionals for an opinion, where they aren’t sure what to do other than note, it is seriously messed up. Steven knows that it will likely draw trouble to them or cause more so he keeps his back to them when he tells them to leave. The flushed expression on his face and inability to see his eyes tells us that he’s thinking of how to put it out of its misery.
He’s officially the one in charge and he’s thinking about what is the least risky thing to do. Leo argues back that the children that were fed to it are still alive and this wasn’t their choice. But the one who agrees with Steven is Zapp who manifests his blade and tells Leo to think rationally. The easiest way is to prevent it from returning to the jar and completing the curse.
Zapp is thinking that these already non-humans have to be sacrificed to prevent the worse option from happening.
However, Zed then jumps in to fight Zapp, agreeing with Leo that it isn’t their place to kill it. What is really great about the entire scene is that no morality is black or white and the Libra team are all using slightly different ways to look at the exact same situation. As Zed and Zapp come to blows, Luciana stops them and makes it clear that no one is fighting or killing anything in the hospital.
Steven then asks if they can remove it from the hospital to destroy it elsewhere. The facial expression that he has is just so - ugh - why are you trying to hold this entire burden yourself Steven?
Yes, you are going to use the letter of the law to defeat the spirit of the law. He looks absolutely terrible trying to think about what to do to protect everyone else. Unlike the previous chapter with his interrogation squad and their hyper rational mindset that a second in command must do what ever it takes to support their leader, K. K. finally speaks having sat quietly in the background. She does not mince her words, instead she acts like the brakes on his runaway train of thought. Asking if he’s sure about it and using his full name for emphasis. And then asking the question again implying he’d drop to the level he’s thinking about going.
And as she asks him, she furthermore tells him that she thought he was on the same page as Klaus and his beliefs. This causes him to snap back into the situation. We can see that his eyes are back to being both focused and more open in shock at her direct words to him. K. K. isn’t screaming at him or being passionate, she delivered her words calmly and directly. And it works. The grim unfocused expression then becomes aware and we can see his facial expression has shifted to tense and upset. He was literally trying to disassociate himself from the situation until K. K. drags him back from the abyss.
Now, that pause is good as it stops Steven from snowballing himself to his own personal mental hell and more guilt. It is also bad as it has given the brutal Tycoon brothers time to arrive to steal it back. As their vampire gate manifests above him we see the look of absolute fear on Steven’s face as he’s seriously fucked.
With the situation spiraling out of control, it speaks to the level of trust between Steven and K. K. The two of them immediately spring into action to give the rest of the team time to escape. Steven’s kick is blocked and he gets tossed over K. K. who dodges him and manages to get close range shots at them.
K. K. may have questioned Steven’s potential action but she’s still going to defend her partner. With Steven down for a short time, K. K. orders Leo, Zapp and Zed to leave. Zapp tries to get in on the action -
Only for Steven to tell him to retreat. K. K. and Steven are better equipped to fight them and they need someone to protect Leo and the escaped merged human monster from the pot. The way that K. K. and Steven naturally stand up and next to each other shows that they know what the need to do. Additionally, neither of them actually exchanged words. Both of them gave orders to the rest of the group and not to each other. This is different than our earlier K. K. and Steven scenes where Steven tries to keep them focused and K. K. complains about being teamed up with him. They’ve fully accepted and understand how they work as a team.
To convince Zapp to retreat, Steven still has to tell Zapp that he needs to do so and that he trusts him enough to figure out how to make things work. Steven is an excellent manager of people and it shows when Zapp stands down.
Of course the situation becomes dire as Steven and K. K. get seriously wounded trying to take on the brothers. Only Leo is able to step in to mess with their vision thus allowing for both groups to retreat.
Is the fact that Steven got seriously wounded sort of karmic for thinking about destroying it? Likely not, as K. K. also suffered the same fate.
When Leo is on the run with the child monster of the pot, it is Steven who sneaks out of the hospital with K. K. of course. I find it adorable that he apologizes to her as though his actions are inconveniencing her and she only smiles in reply knowing that he would not be able to sit back and recover while Leo was in danger.
K. K. knows him too well and she only can tease him that he’d have to become involved. The humor then shifts when Steven gets to some sort of stash he has in a parking garage. K. K. then gets to bitch at him for having a hidden change of clothing (since it is clearly a personal stash for him). But the second panel is adorable. We see his hand already wearing his blue shirt hold out a spare pair of pants. And he apologizes asking if they would be okay. Both Steven and K. K. are blushing as she accepts it. You can see the blush under Steven’s right eye and K. K. under her left. But that’s not all, being the gentleman that he is, he continues to change in the garage with his back to her as she puts on the pants in the car.
He unlocks his phone and gets on the Libra network while tightening his tie. All Libra members are to find and protect Leo. Right after sending it, he gets a backlog of Klaus’ texts to him after he broke out of jail. That look of absolute shock as Steven has returned to his full strict mom mode.
That look of annoyance as he can’t get a hold of Klaus! As the Calamity Auction arc comes to an end, the group are able to reconnect with Klaus and Leo at the shifting dimensional auction house. As the hardworking teammates return to his aid, Klaus gives them a simple “Thank you.”
He’s looking a little rough around the edges but had committed to protecting Leo and the inhuman-human pot victim. The expression on Steven’s face as Klaus continues to say that he’s been waiting for them. Interestingly, this time, when we only see Steven’s mouth and nose, we don’t need to worry about if his eyes look unfocused and burdened. The serious expression, softens to a grin and we know that Steven is glad to have Klaus back.
They are best when they are all functioning as a team. I look at it this way, Libra is the extra-governmental organization that maintains the balance of the worlds. And within Libra itself each team member maintains balance within the organization to give the world balance. The entire team rushed there to help Klaus so he didn’t hold the burden alone with Leo. They are stronger as a team than as individuals.
Another great scene is in the chaotic final a battle, K. K. and Steven work together to hamper part of Curious’ personal team. K. K. spots the monitoring spy eye. She shoots it out preventing a remote response.
And right after K. K. does her job, Steven steps in to finish it off after K. K.’s electrified bullets do their action. Again, no verbal communication between these two. They really work well together.
Seriously, the level of understanding between them is great.
What I really liked about the whole season of Back 2 Back was how it took a lot of the moral grey area questions and pulled them front and center. It continues to force the cast to ask themselves hard questions to which there are no correct answers to. Instead, those questions are answered on each person’s individual morality and limits. What actions can these people take and still sleep well at night. What is something they cannot do.
Steven is a complex character - and therefore, likely why many readers really like him. He isn’t someone who does questionable things because they are the most logical or rational way to act in the situation. He’s doing them out of his role in Libra, to protect others and to maintain the balance in the big picture. He tries to carry the burden of his actions and finds himself not convinced by the words of his own personal problem solving squad. Which tells us that he likely wants to be able to be more like Klaus or Leo than like them.
Steven understands worry - I think back to the first volume where Steven sees how worried Klaus is - trying to look calm when Leo was kidnapped and then reminding himself that Klaus is tying himself in knots. It is clear that any member of the cast can slide down that slippery slope of ‘but it was required for the cause.’ I feel like there is more to the interaction in the hospital as Zapp does not hesitate to second what Steven is thinking. Zapp doesn’t want to do something terrible but he also thinks of the bigger picture. Zed falls on the other side making them a two versus two. Until K. K. steps in and calls Steven out. It goes to show how much Steven respects K. K. and likely does not see her as someone to give orders to like Zapp, Leo or Zed and instead sees her as a peer.
Steven was clearly betrayed in the past - What I really want are Steven and K. K.’s backstories. I think that it would really inform us of how they came to be and why both of them are so strong and stubborn at times. I can’t help but think that Steven’s scar came from a situation where his trust was betrayed or someone in charge seriously fucked up. He will not let that shit happen again, not with his team the only people he cares about besides his housekeeper. And the general public at large.
K. K. is Steven’s other half - The two of them are an amazing pair. They don’t need to speak and when they do, they are either apologizing or annoying the other one. Yet, they totally respect each other. Steve keeps K. K. serious and focused at times while she prevents him from digging himself into a deeper moral black hole.
Steven is overly involved in making sure that things work and it clearly is something that he feels like he has to do or need to do. When there might be other options.
Daniel Law leaves us off with his own personal motto, “It is my general rule to not trust anyone.”
Sooooo really, Steven has more faith in people than our police detective.
In the future, Steven, please get a therapist. Take some time off for a spa day, shopping for new [same] yellow ties, trying to get his messy hair styled, reading multiple print newspapers and drink high quality small batch roasted coffee. Or buy more artwork for your swanky condo and most importantly, please sleep.
#kekkai sensen#kekkai sensen meta#kekkai sensen manga#steven a starphase#k.k.#kekkai sensen back 2 back#calamity auction#Yasuhiro Nightow#kkss
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Im actually so freaking late bc I just finished mine liars BUT I’m so upset with David rn. I actually love him sm but I hate him. What is he? Im happy he and Stevie didn’t actually have sex bc if he broke up with her after that and just left ?? I would have been more sad for her. I understand he was overthinking but also kissing someone else? ?.!!./ outta pocket David 🙄
You’re so real for all of this. He is such a problem in this book. I love him but I’d also love to watch him slip on a banana peel into a dumpster or something.
Would it be crazy if I said that if they’d had sex, I don’t think David would have broken up with her? I’m not saying that because David is a horny scumbag who would’ve only stayed with her because they had sex, but I think from David’s POV, Stevie doesn’t love him as much as he loves her. (Whether that’s actually true is debatable, but unlikely imo given her reaction to being dumped.) Think about how Izzy first reacted to Stevie, like she was meeting a celebrity- because David had spent the last 3 months talking her up. In Stevie’s narration, she constantly frets about being perceived as intelligent, capable, and worthy. In David’s eyes, Stevie is all of those things already. I think David sees himself as a fuckup still, albeit one who managed to get his shit together long enough to spend a semester at Cambridge. He doesn’t know where he’s going next. (Neither does Stevie, but as she fails to realize, you get a little leeway when you solve the crime of the century twice.) David cuts off his nose to spite his dad, and even though it still shakes out alright for him, his future is even more uncertain than Stevie’s.
But Stevie isn’t perfect. She breaks down when she realizes she cannot solve the Nine Liars case in time to leave England. She can be utterly single-minded when it comes to solving the case, and the majority of the time, the breakdown in communication between her and David stems from her words/actions/missteps.
David clearly believes he is not worthy of Stevie and I don’t think he would’ve broken up with her unless he believed that she believed it too. Maybe if they had slept together, that aspect of their dynamic could have been a little more resolved– but maybe if she hadn’t been broken up with, Stevie wouldn’t have stayed behind in England in order to actually solve the case, which could’ve driven another wedge in between them. (Also, David snapping at Stevie before breaking up with her and saying “not everything is about you” makes me sooo sad because it’s another misread of what she’s feeling/thinking. I think Stevie felt really, genuinely guilty and upset when she thought she couldn’t solve Rosie & Noel’s OR Angela’s murders. The fact that Angela had disappeared immediately after talking to Stevie probably felt like Ellie all over again. David may have noticed this if he stopped being insecure for 5 minutes and thought about what was actually going on with Stevie. But I DIGRESS because this is getting way too long.)
As for kissing someone else I think his reasoning there was so simple actually: He feels as though he has fucked up all the things in his life worth trying for; Ergo, why not become a fuckup again? Drown your sorrows in tequila and kiss somebody you don’t know! All the kids are doing it!
I did not mean for this to turn into a dissertation on the dynamics of Steviedavid’s Nine Liars arc. I just can’t wait to see where they both go from here, because they are both kind of fucked up in the head, and they know that, and I think that will keep drawing them together as long as they’re in each others proximity. Good thing Stevie is returning home to America, where David won’t be…until, you know, his semester ends and he has to go home ;)
#truly devious#nine liars#nine liars spoilers#stevie bell#david eastman#anon#chelsea answers#steviedavid
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And… we’re back.
Ok Deflagration is back, I’m a day late, but I literally do not care ok? I was having a rough day and put mental health first, and this show is not mental health for me
Anyways I’m keeping this review concise because this episode was actually pointless.
Like no joke, genuinely fucking pointless! It’s just as bad as the first half of Kwamis’ choice, where for some reason it’s alright to give up the miraculous for your love life (because being able to date is so much more important then the safety of the universe), the identity rule continues to pretend to matter (tho I will say the tracking on the alliance rings is smart) and no one has a personality outside of the love square, and everything in the end of the episode reset, to the point they make tongue in cheek jokes about it
…yep you can see why people are slowly giving up on this show (myself included)
I think if anything, my main complaints about this episode are these:
1. No one gives a shit about ladybug and chat noir quitting
This connects to how Alya and Tikki were always like “yeah marinette is right to quit so she can date adrien” but literally no one gives a shit! For something as huge as Ladybug and Chat Noir quitting after over a year of constant fighting, and giving the miraculouses to complete amateurs there is literally no reaction! Everyone is just fine with this change, make a quick tribute and even make tongue in cheek jokes about how they must have quit in order to date, which in general just shows how the show doesn’t actually care about the heroic part of the story? Like this is just the love square show, with ladybug worshiping sprinkled in.
(Also the way the only indication of the Kwamis and holders missing each other was Adrien, who was basically a background character this episode, being sad for unexplained reasons and Tikki saying she missed marinette)
But I digress next complaint
2. The way… this episode was just Chloe Slander/Zoe worship.
I…SWEAR TO GOD!!! Listen I don’t hate Zoe, she doesn’t do anything to make me hate her, and I do realize Chloe is not a good person, but the show shoves it in your face so much! Like every single moment this episode being like “omg Zoe is so kind and sweet and better then Chloe look how awful Chloe is hate her” when Zoe is (no offense Zoe) so bland, that her entire personality consists of being better then Chloe and being in love with marinette!
And as for the Chloe slander, I swear to god! The show goes out of its way to have this entire scene where Chloe tries to humiliate marinette (which is so tactless and dumb? Like it really felt like the show just needed to remind you that Chloe sucks you guys hate her guts please) and makes Plagg rant to Zoe about how awful and irredeemable Chloe is and how he should cataclysm her (like he speaks of Gabriel, the literal terrorist) and has Chloe willingly accept an Akuma (as if she didn’t fight the akumas a couple seasons back)!!!
So all of this together, we just have another Lila on our hands! The show is legitimately arguing that Chloe and Lila (stereotypical 14 year old bully characters) are as bad if not worse then the terrorist plaguing Paris and being an abusive father on the side, and justifies that by making them increasingly worse to the point where it’s just unrealistic and laughable!
Honestly the only two upsides for this episode is that at least we didn’t see Marinette whining over her crush on Adrien (which sprung back out of nowhere), and that Adrien got to show up his dad by taking the ladybug miraculous away from him (the resistance is nice, the names are weird but it’s nice)
All in all? Kwamis’ choice was Completely pointless, and everything is back to the status quo except LOVE SQUARE OooOoOoO
#miraculous ladybug#mlb fandom#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#zoe lee#alya cesaire#ml rants#ml season 5#this episode was completely pointless
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ok im going to talk about orange county (2002)
ok specifically im going to talk about lance, shaun’s older brother and ultimate failwife of the movie because jesus christ do i love a strung out bitch.
i’ll talk more at length when its not 2am, but i found it super interesting that they make their shitty parents so obvious and front & center about the fact that they definitely more than likely neglected and fucked up their eldest son and then did it again to their youngest. With less success mind you, Shaun seems pretty well rounded if not a little quirky due to his upbringing and general califronia-isms. But Lance on the other hand. Lance….
We’re introduced to him begging his little brother for a piss test for god’s sakes
He mentions his parole officer at multiple points, I wish we got a little background so I had the pleasure of finding out what the hell he went to jail for in the past. Anyway.
Their mom is shown to be an emotionally manipulative alcoholic, with a history of sabotaging any chance of her sons leaving home. Lance gets high later on and starts rambling on about wanting to start a clothing brand or something or other, which I’m sure he actually does, and talks about a different clothing designer that went off to live in hawaii etc etc
he also goes on a weird mini ramble about how much he loves his brother and they dont say it enough “ITS NOT THE DRUGS MAN….” he loves Shaun he LOVES HIS FAMILY HE WANTS TO MAKE THEM PROUD HE WANTS TO BE SUCCESSFUL…
With how their mom treats them and how devastatingly hooked he is on the random shit he takes— that’s obviously not going to happen anytime soon, and Shaun says as much, which does end up hurting Lance’s feelings ( even though he shouldnt have burned the goddamn stanford admissions building down in the first place but i digress ).
Shaun talks idly about wanting to go to college and their mom immediately flies into an entire tizzy, immediately whining about how she’s going back to bed to rot and how she doesn’t want him to leave, I can only imagine how Lance was treated growing up— and although he doesn’t seem terribly bothered about not going to college and frying his brain to death on drugs, I’m sure there is something there…
How can I not be completely enamored with a drugged out sad failure of a man who can’t and won’t bear to face his severely alcoholic mother while also destroying himself on various uppers. While their dad just completely fucks off. Their dad is barely present, Shaun tells him to his face that he doesn’t do anything for them and he just kinda shrugs it off at first- mostly because he assumes Shaun wants to be “nothing but a broke writer” and only cares about money but still. he ends up pulling through after a rekindling fling with their mom but both seem fairly relieved when he ends up not going off to school…which yes ultimately is good for Shaun!!! but still…geez…how supportive…
It just makes me think…it just makes me ponder… what could have lance and shaun’s childhoods been like…i don’t think it’s ever stated how old lance is, but i’m guessing he’s meant to be at least twice shaun’s age or something like that…
shaun obviously loves his brother very much, shown after the …fire, he forgives him and (presumably) drags him back into the car after his fun escape incident…god…younger siblings forced to caretake for their idiot failure older siblings my beloved…shaun cares so much about his fucked up family really its something else.
oh the end…the end my beloathed…my beloved…
I love that he barely even gets to give his mom a hug at the end, she barely even reacts to it he barely even gets the chance to get his hands on her shoulders shes basically ignoring it oh my god goodnight i will edit this post in the morning
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Golden Tracklist Thoughts
If you haven’t seen the tracklist, here it is and I do have some thoughts.
I actually am not sharing the same sentiment as a lot of people who are disappointed that JK has no writing credits on this album. Because honestly, I can relate to his burnout. Re: me not updating any of my fanfics in like a year and wanting to start over as a writer. We know Jungkook is talented in both producing and songwriting. I think the only sad part is the complete separation from his roots. All of these producers and writers are western which makes it feel less personal. Written in a language that isn’t his native tongue makes it feel less personal.
However, I am glad to see limited features. I expected them to throw a western artist on every single track, so I’m glad we will just get some JK. But then again, y/n stans especially are going to use this album as fuel for their “JK is straight” fire because I’m sure it’s going to be filled with girl, she, her, woman all over the place. These people will have no critical thinking skills to connect the dots that Jungkook didn’t write these songs, so they aren’t coming from a place of literal experience. See: people already screaming “WHO HURT JUNGKOOK” all over twitter just from the names of the songs. *eye rolling past every post that I’m seeing saying the same tired phrasing* Please. As if Jungkook hasn’t always loved a good ballad, and again, these songs were not written by him!!!
This is why the heteroification of JK as an artist is something I loathe. It’s not Jungkook himself. It’s not because I want him to be like Troye Sivan right now in drag giving a lap dance in a music video. Well, I could dream okay. By the way, Troye’s album is refreshing and amazing, but I digress. If Jungkook wants to sing these songs, fine. It’s the way that these y/n fans react that I can’t stand. It’s the way that it will only increase their rabid, lustful creepy behavior towards him which pisses me off. That’s why I hate this era for him. He’s just a tool for their sexual fantasies not an actual person. A person, I might add, that they don’t pay attention to his words, actions and mannerisms except for his thrusting on stage. 🙄
But make no mistake, I don’t think this is the real JK. I think the real JK loves his bandmate JM and has for years. But they are enlisting soon, so now is not really the time for Jungkook to dump all of his homo feelings for his bandmate on an album, is it? He probably did feel burnt out, lost, and uninspired to write music. With something as daunting as MS looming over your head, that leaves little space for creativity. He was probably a little stubborn too that he couldn’t really put it all out on the table. I personally think Jungkook wants out of the closet, even more so than Jimin and all of his bi colored themed photo shoots. I think JK would declare his love for Jimin tomorrow publicly if he could.
I still stand by my personal belief too that Jungkook was pushed into this western market direction to some extent. Yes, we know he likes western music and always has. Yes, he said he wants to be a big pop star, but we also know that he made no progress towards releasing an album until 🛴 stepped in. And that can’t be ignored from the equation either. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle.
So, I will keep an open mind, hoping that I like some of the songs. Hoping that some of them feel authentic to the real Jungkook. Hoping that they show off his immense vocal talent. And I’ll be looking forward to seeing Jimin continue to support him. Because that speaks volumes to me. More than songs written in a language foreign to Jungkook by other people.
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i love gwynriel and your answers are really convincing. but I'm confused why the hell Sarah put Azriel having some kind of involvement with Elain if gwyn and Az ended up together in the end. because we can't deny that there's something between Elain and Az, there's interest on both sides, even though it might not be simple, there's something lol. but I still don't know who Az will stay with? I don't have an opinion on that. sometimes I think Az and gwyn are endgame, other times I think they didn't get together and there might be someone else for him and someone else for gwyn, obviously. i find azriel so confusing, sarah doesn't give a lot of hints about him, it pisses me off because i love him so much. Also, I'm so sad that there is so much hate on gwyn and Elain because of the ships, if Sarah didn't put azriel with either of them, it would be a war 😂 Sarah is sharing opinions I'm scared of what she's going to do lol
This got a little long, sorry I just digressed 😅
Honestly, I was an e/riel until I read ACOSF (so I guess a total of like a week?) I thought that the whole breaking the bond to be with someone you loved thing was romantic. I thought their aestetic was cute, if not overplayed a hit. But honestly, SJM gives us a lot of clues in ACOSF to show Elain will not stay in the NC and ultimately won’t be with Az. I truly believe that ACOSF put the nail in the coffin for e/riel as endgame. However, it is important for both Az and Elain individually.
1) Az does NOT respect Elain or view her as an equal. She wanted to help with the dread trove and the moment she left the room he went against her decision. She wants to do more with her life, but the entire IC EXCEPT FOR HER MATE underestimates her.
2) Az confesses he has never thought of Elain past sexual fantasies. “He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to.” This is again him just seeing her as a sexual object and not as an equal. 
3) throughout the bonus chapter, Azriel is CONSTANTLY saying how wrong his feelings for Elain are. The shadows tell him to go to bed because they knew Elain was waiting up for him. I’m sorry, but THAT IS NOT HEALTHY. Forbidden love is the WRONG trope for Azriel. There is a great post by @lunainfortuna linked here that goes into it with my commenting there. There is another great post by @acourtofthought that talks about the negative emotions in the BC here
4) Azriel would stifle Elain's growth in the guise of protection (as we have seen in ACOSF by not respecting her choice behind her back) and Elain will appease Azriel (as she does with her sisters) to keep the peace and allow him to do what Nesta did especially if she notes he gets upset whenever she wants to help even if it puts her at risk (call back to how he was overprotective with Mor to the point she feels guilty about making a decision on her own knowing it will upset him). That's not a couple that would compliment each other's growth or challenge each other. Neither will pull the other out of their shell and this is something I think both Azriel and Elain need because everyone around them is happy to let them be in their own head for too long.
5) Aesthetics and being nice to each other does not warrant a long-term stable and equal relationship when we actually look at them as characters and their personality and actions. Azriel, like Nesta, speaks for Elain even if he thought he was thinking in her best interests but those "best interests" are clouded by his desperation for a mate and his jealousy of Lucien and Rhys and Cassian. They weren't Elain's own words and she does have a voice to speak out on it instead of Azriel.
6) I still think ACOSF and the bonus chapter are big indicators that they don't work out as a couple. Sarah could've made them more appealing to the readers but she didn't. This was Nesta’s book, and she could have made Elain a larger part of Nesta’s recovery journey and had her spend more time with azriel. But she didn’t. You know who had the most page time in ACOSF? Nesta, cassian, gwyn, and azriel.
7) rhys is almost always right. The podcast BookTalkforBookTok consistently jokes that he is always telling the future. When he steers Azriel off of Elain before things escalate, he is truly looking out for Az’s best interest. Rhys has great intentions and poor execution. However, whenever rhys says something it’s true. If rhys thought they would be good for each other, then he wouldn’t interfere and would work something out with lucien.
8) cassian saying that Elain looks dreary in black is just SO ON THE NOSE and idk if SJM can make it any clearer. Black is the night court color, black is azriel’s color. @yazthebookish confronts this here and I couldn’t have said it better myself.
9) time and time again, SJM is asked about what the couples would do and EVERYTIME she talks about what Elain and lucien would do together. In her head, they are end game. When asked where they would go on vacation together, she said Paris. Then there was this beauty:
10) Az is still not over mor by solstice and he has a LOT of work to do before being in a relationship. He is using Elain as a distraction against his bigger issues with intimacy and belonging.
Ultimately, I have a theory that Elain tried to steer herself towards azriel and away from lucien for all the wrong reasons. Azriel, despite the wings, looks more or less human. He has rounded ears, is soft spoken, and she associates him with her human life. She meets lucien on the worst night of her life (mirroring how gwyn met Az on her worst night too just fyi), he has long hair, fae ears, a mechanical eye, and looks the part of the fae she grew up hating. HOWEVER, if she got to know the males the opposite is actually true. Despite his looks, azriel is incredibly male and fae. He follows his instincts, he growls/snarls, he is a fighter and a torturer. Lucien, on the other hand, has a very human soul. He currently even lives with Jurian and Vassa. She clings to Az because accepting lucien means accepting being fae and I think she is still in denial. I wouldn’t doubt there would be a point at the beginning of her book where she might want to jump at the opportunity to become human again. She lost the most out of the three sisters by becoming fae and she loves life. Accepting the bond means accepting being fae and this emotional and sexually charged relationship with Az is the bandaid on her gaping wound. It will only keep the bleeding at bay for so long.
Both azriel and Elain are using each other as distractions from their true trauma’s. Azriel latches onto women who are unable to give him the love he deserves. Elain is trying to keep the one human part of her she has left, the ability to choose her partner and not have it chosen for her by the cauldron.
TOG Spoiler:
After finishing TOG, I feel like chaol and azriel will be on similar love stories. Chaol had loved a girl prior to the events of throne of glass but found her in bed with Rolland, and I think this parallels to Az’s relationship to Mor. Then his next relationship was with Aelin. It was hinted at through all of TOG and before they got together in COM. Their relationship was short and brief and ended badly (I think they were officially together for like a week before shit hit the fan). This parallel’s Az and Elain. Both couples look good on paper, but lack the special spark that makes SJM couples endgame. They end up being worse for each other because of their personalities and they give into their insecurities with each other. This leads me to think that Azriel will go on a journey of introspection and emotional healing with the help of gwyn, just like chaol did with yrene. Just like yrene, gwyn has the power to heal with her invoking stones. I can go on but you get the point. When they all meet again in KOA, they are all happy for each other despite their rocky past just like I think the whole Elain/lucien/Az/gwyn group will be.
Ultimately SJM is gonna do what she is gonna do. But I for one will be incredibly disappointed if Elain and Az are endgame because I think they both deserve better. They are both good characters, but toxic together.
#welcome to my soapbox#soapbox#i swear I do more than just think of ACOTAR all day#i can hate elriel without bringing up gwynriel#these characters really all need therapy stat#these coping mechanisms are getting out of hand#acotar#azriel shadowsinger#anti elr*el#anti e/riel#anti e*riel#anti elriel#lucien#elain kingslayer#pro elain#elain archeron
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@meepmoopmaap so I tried all three picrews.
This one is Dewdrop, she’s in my first mlp fanfiction (Find Your Spark) and first let me tell you I really tried to find a combo of outfit pieces that all were A) the same or a similar shade of blue and B) combined together to look like her blanket. Alas.
Anyway I’m still figuring out her entire lore but for now it’s what’s in the story. She’s the youngest princess of the neighbouring kingdom to Equestria called Kiang (also jumped through HOOPS to find a horse-related name to call this kingdom) despite being an Earth Pony, because in Kiang you have to earn wings and unicorn horns through acts of service, especially if you want to be an Alicorn, which, you cannot rule a piece of Kiang unless you are an Alicorn because that’s the ultimate symbol of royalty, (a lot like Equestria). Also there’s Earth Pony magic and yes I ripped that straight from the newest generation, fucking bite me.
The other two picrews looked like younger ponies than adult ponies to me so this is Flickerspell, and she’s going to show up in my second Mlp fanfiction (Little Teenage Ninja Ponies, yes it is a TMNT crossover, fucking bite me). She’s basically my OC Ming if she were a pony. She was born an Alicorn. (which, btw, just found out apparently in the regular mlp friendship lore, Doesn’t happen. Like, Flurry Heart was an EXCEPTION, which makes me sad that we never saw her grow up because honestly she probably should’ve been the star of her own MLP generation. Honestly, they should have made one between Friendship is Magic and Make Your Mark focused around the only Alicorn BORN an Alicorn in all of Equestria. I need that show)
Anyway, rant over, I digress, Flickerspell was born an Alicorn and abandoned in the forest of Bridlewoods and then Splinter found her and the turtles’ ponysonas and Splinter raise her. I was going to make them all move to Ponyville and Flickerspell be friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scoot-a-loo) and have a whole chapter arc around the episode they got their cutie marks and she wasn’t there and now she’s the only pony her age without one yet. But I’m kind of torn because I also really do want a focus on Flurry Heart because if both of them are the only two ponies BORN Alicorn, they could be special together and we can still have the whole “my best friend(s) got their cutie mark before me/without me, and theirs are awesome and mine is going to be lame if I ever get it at all” arc.
Im not sure. If Flickerspell goes with the Crusaders I may end up writing aNOTHER mlp story about Flurry Heart because I honestly need that.
I don’t know who this is. I wanted it to be Flickerspell because the hair shape matches better than the other one but this picrew didn’t have any streaks options (and she has green streaks in her blue hair) also this one’s hair looks more purple than blue. We could say this is Dewdrop after she gets her wings and horn (because as much as I live for the angst of inferiority complexes, Dew WILL get a happy ending, I need that in my Mlp fanfics) but the picrew looks too much like a young pony and Dewdrop is about Twilight and gang’s age during her story.
Since she’s kind of a mix of the two, I’m going to call her Sea Holly (one of the MANY names I went through when trying to come up with Flickerspell’s). The other two don’t have special abilities yet (Dewdrop’s is a surpriiiiiiise) so Sea Holly’s special ability is going to be that she can control and speak to all the sea creatures and control all the oceans and rivers and bodies of water (she’s an Alicorn, after all) and her cutie mark is a water drop with a sea creature within (a turtle? A dolphin? A fish or a shark? Can’t decide)
IDK maybe Sea Holly can show up in one of the MLP stories one day or be Flickerspell and Flurry Heart’s third friend. Who knows? Not me.
I am however going to save her lore in my notes because I came up with this one the spot and I love it.
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I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SCENE.
(warning: a lot of joel hate below)
*clears throat*
So. I want to focus on Joel and Lenny in response to Midge getting heckled.
Midge very clearly has a handle on things. This guy is being a dick, and she’s able to roast him very effectively in contrast to how she dealt with hecklers earlier in the season - see 1x05: Doink (except don’t because that whole episode is cringeworthy).
Joel’s immediate response is to defend her honor. Now, I know a lot of people would go, Aww that’s because he loves her. He’s protecting her.
And to that, I say look at Lenny.
Lenny's watching her, enjoying her work (you can see him laugh a few times). He’s not jumping in. You can attribute that to the fact that he’s also a comic. He understands hecklers and knows it’s part of the game. Knowing how to deal with people not liking your act (even - and especially - if it is funny) is important for a comedian.
Now I direct you to the second gif.
When the heckler stands, Lenny’s face changes. He’s watching the guy because while he knows Midge can handle herself, he also knows there are people who get physically aggressive, and there’s no way this ‘cute uptown chick’ can take this guy in a fight. There’s clearly mild concern on his face.
There’s also obvious admiration because Midge got under the guy’s skin. She won.
Midge is his friend. Nothing’s happened. Lenny’s still wearing a wedding ring (even though he and Honey got divorced in 1957 irl, but I digress), so we can assume he’s not thinking about ever pursuing something more than friendly.
But if the guy had charged the stage, I’m pretty sure Lenny would have stepped in and taken that punch for her, maybe even punched the guy first. Joel might have, too, but Lenny’s only a few feet away, and Joel’s across the bar.
Third gif.
When the guys leave, Lenny watches them go. He relaxes a bit, but it’s obvious he’s making sure they’re actually getting out. He’s still got his hackles raised enough, but once again, he respects Midge enough to let her fight her own battles.
And then there’s Joel. *sigh*
Joel watches this all go down. He saw his ex-wife engaged in friendly conversation (read: banter) with his comedy hero, and that clearly got under his skin. Then she went up on stage and roasted him and his mistress for a while, which continued to bother him.
He just watched her obliterate this guy and take care of herself, and that made him angry. Because as far as Joel is concerned, Midge needs him, and watching her handle herself without him is the final straw.
The guy is angry and aggressive, and he doesn’t respect Midge. He views her as his. His to defend, his to provide for (and if you don’t agree with that, Michael Zegen even said at the Emmys that Joel is very protective of his girl, to which we got a very shady - and very attractive - eyebrow raise from Luke Kirby).
It kills Joel to see her being self-sufficient because it means she doesn’t need him anymore. He sucked at providing for her. He sucked at taking care of her. The one thing he can still do for her is punch a guy who’s being a dick to her.
So he does it to make himself feel better.
When he gets pulled off of the guy outside, he says, She’s good. She’s fucking good and gets really, really sad about it. Like, the guy is crying.
That punch wasn’t in defense of Midge. That punch was because he needs to believe that he still has a purpose in her life outside of being a punchline.
You will never convince me that Joel didn’t, for even a split second, imagine it was Midge he was punching in that moment.
She’s up there, telling jokes that are a million times funnier than anything he could ever write, and she’s doing it off the cuff. She’s just being herself. Making fun of her pain - the pain he caused, by the way - and she’s funnier than he could ever hope to be.
Look, Joel might love her, but he doesn’t respect her. In this scene, Lenny doesn’t love her (yet), but he respects her. And that is crucial.
Midge doesn’t need a man, but if she wants one (and clearly she does), he has to respect her as her own person, believe in her and her ability take care of herself, but also be there for her when she needs it. Now, who does that describe?
Lenny, who shows up in her life at the most seemingly random times? Lenny, who stands outside a hotel room waiting for her to make the move and then letting her walk away without pushing any further? Lenny, who keeps a respectful distance in his hotel room because he never ever wants her to feel like he’s pushing her into anything?
Or Joel, who hasn’t even bothered in four seasons to apologize for the absolutely degrading way in which he left her?
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QUICKIE - 2: Watchu Want Me To Say Tho?!...
Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat. STILL. YES. I KNOW.
[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]
–🐺–🐺–🐺–
I know, I know, I know .. I have blogs to complete, comments to reply and asks waiting for me to answer; I know. There are reasons for the lack thereof, of course, but today, today I will not stay here and bore you with My Lifes’ Whys, I’m currently feeling a heavy wave of sadness, which I am starting to finally recognise as a sign that my period is looming. Used to only have pain, but now I’ve evolved to heave-ass sadness ungracefully tiptoeing its way into depression, which given some personal stuff and very recent Tannie Jin specifically stuff, couldn’t have come at a worse time. But I digress, as I said, today I shall not share negative stuff.
Instead, I’d like to share a cute/funny/peculiar thing that I realised/noticed Jikook do from time to time when they start something with each other and one of them proceeds to perhaps take it a bit too far until the other is left in a situation where they are like: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” NGL, most of it is usually JM, but JK has his fair share;source: Trust Me Bro. As this is a “quickie” I’ll bring up 3 examples for each. Let’s start with JM.
#1 … IT’S JUST A GAME THO.
Time & Place: RUN BTS 15 - Aired March 14, 2017.
youtube
This was the second episode of “The Spy Who Returned” 3 parts RUN BTS episodes. At the very beginning of the episode, they are playing a “tolerance” game where they are divided into couples and each has to say something that they don’t like or that bothered them about the other and the other has to not be offended and “sincerely” state that they “understand/I see”. The couples were: Tae & Namjoon, JM & Jin and JK and Hobi (Yoongi was the host).
JK & Hobi went last and though JK had nothing to say, Hobi did, lots to say in fact 😂, which in itself would have been enough but JM, out of nowhere, had the not-so-brilliant impulse to get up in there, uncalled, to question JK about a mysterious toothbrush. JK is clearly taken-aback like all of us watching I am sure given that he and JM are in the same team. Yet JM doesn’t stop, he clearly wants to hear something from JK in regards to … the toothbrush. JK does reply, and says that the toothbrush wasn’t his and JM stands there speechless, seemingly not expecting that answer … oh the confusion of it all! … which is why JK’s “it wasn’t me” actually really felt to me more like a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” .
This to me in “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …”-vibe is very close to the “JK hugs me when he sleeps” moment which happened at the Sinchon Fansign - May 15, 2015.
#2 SO MUCH FOR PRESENTS …
Time & Place: FESTA 2017 - Aired June 12, 2017.
youtube
We’ve actually already discussed this in a different previous post. This was one of the few times where JK wasn’t able to even try and reply to something. If it were me, and we were just friends, you’d have to wait for me to gift you something on your next birthday: YES I’M PETTY. Yet, homeboi pulled up that same year with a trip to Tokyo as a gift, so obviously the problem wasn’t the question itself. What was the problem? We will most likely never know, but in that very moment JK’s silence was definitely a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” silence.
#3 SO YOU GETTING MARRIED UH?
Time & Place: WEVERSE LIVE in Busan - October 15, 2022.
This is one of my recent personal favs, because as opposed to the Jikook VLIVE - June 21, 2020, which also had to do with a marriage related question, this time around JK tried his very best to not divert the convo and hold his own. Yeah, he really did … but JM was not having it. He really wasn’t. How many of you have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun? How many of them have said “Yoongi Marry Me” for fun, including JM? At times even changing the Subject all in good fun.
This time around, JK simply mentioned that saw “Jungkook Marry Me” and all hell broke loose. Yeah, for some reason, JM wasn’t having it, and so began a little back-and-forth between the two at the end of which JM accepted that in summary JK “just saw the sign and meant to take no action”. JM smiled/laughed, got up and got out of frame. JK also smiled, watching JM leave, with a: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” giggle, like I don’t even know what just happened tho! aaand he proceeded to wait for him to get back like:
Jiminah … 😬.
And now it’s JK’s turn. Differently from JM this young man is a tad more determined in getting his answers and JM indulges, for the most part, in fact I’ve noticed that he’s never just kept silent, but don’t let it fool you, cause at times, whatever answer he provides wasn’t the answer JK was looking for; lest we forget that JM is indeed the HYUNG … but yeah, let’s get it!
#1 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS PICTURE …
Time & Place: JinJiKook VLIVE in Osaka - December 15, 2016.
Jin and Jimin decide to have a candy-centric episode of EatJin, and Jimin seems to be a bit on his mischievous streak right from the bat, but Jin, being the outstanding eldest hyung that he is doesn’t seem to mind at all and cutely goes along with his playful dongsaeng. All is well thus far until the bell rings and, you’ve guessed, it is JK.
By this point Jin, like all of us, is still very much oblivious to any argument/quarrel which might have happened between JM and JK, one may even dare say that frankly my dears, he didn’t give a damn! But JM had damns to give and so he did, testing JK on the other side of Jin’s closed hotel room. Jin is now starting to get confused and to this point, JM has full control of the whole situation, until JK whips out his cellphone.
Quite clearly JM didn’t take JK seriously, at first, he even egged him to post “whatever questionable pic” JK thought he had but that was Jin’s danger-alert-signal moment: no questionable pic was going to be uploaded on his watch and that’s how the doors were finally opened to the maknae. So, once JK got his way into the room, Jin, and us watching, clearly could sense something going on, but as for what exactly, nobody had a good clue. Like anything else revolving around Jikook afterall, for example, we may know that they once fought and JK ended up crying in the rain (FESTA 2020 - Aired June 12, 2020), but as to what caused the argument? … 🤷🏾♀️.
JM at this point is still trying to have it his way don’t ask me why, how would I know?! But JK was high on courage that day and ever so casually, the moment JM tried to leave the room, he once again whipped out his phone, pulled up a particular pic which we got to see later as JK did momentarily uploaded and it seemed he had something like a hickey on his neck and simply said “I took a good selfie” and JM quickly sat back down and replied “I won’t go then, all right” in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” resigned manner. Then again, if the selfie was just that, a good selfie, JM could have easily said “sure, go ahead and show them”, but that’s not what happened right?
#2 STILL, YOU TURNED IT OFF
Time & Place: Jungkook (eventually TaeJiJinKook) VLIVE in New Jersey - May 19, 2019.
Yet again, Jin and Jimin were up to their shenanigans with our maknae, who just wanted to show his face to ARMY. That’s all he wanted but the other two ended the stream. So what does one do? If you are a JM you post a quick apology video on twitter, but if you are a JK you start your own stream: obviously.
This stream is supposed to be just you doing exactly what you wanted to do to begin with, show your face to ARMY, but then … all of a sudden there is a cough in the background and the plan folds when do plans every work anyways?!, immaright?.
Hence starts a whole convo summarising what just happened in Jin’s room leading up to JK’s “cutting off” during which not only does JM explain himself, he also apologises and lets JK once again know that he loves him. Yet, JK still stresses that, he just👏🏾 can’t 👏🏾let👏🏾 it 👏🏾go👏🏾 at which point JM decides that it is time for him to leave in a very: “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” fashion, more like “what else do you want me to say?!”.
#3 I SEE HOW IT IS …
Time & Place: FESTA 2022 - June 14, 2022.
youtube
Emotions are running high, slightly tipsy, but still hella high as the boys start getting us ready to momentarily part from them. Within all of this there is a lot, A LOT, of banter there are even first official talk of a PJM1 and everyone was hella excited, ARMY and TANNIES alike except for a certain JK who playfully made it known that he didn’t appreciate not knowing about progress in said PJM1, not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 times (didn’t put the 4th time in the pic because, you know, aesthetics 😌).
JM does try to explain that he’d told everyone that they were all more than welcome to go and listen to him working if they wanted though apparently JK wanted his hyung to go to him instead, but that is a different story … in addition, when Namjoon pointed out that Hobi will always be the first for JM, both JM and Hobi quickly worked together to deny the “accusations” but at this point I think JK was very much speeding on the “I AM UPSET”-train, so much so that none of it seemed to matter and he very much and very blatantly ended up telling JM:
At which JM did reply, quickly, shyly and all the colors in between, that “I am sorry” but in a very: I mean “Whatchu Want Me To Say Tho?! …” way, and who knows, were the cameras not on he might have had more to add, but, we’ll never know!
There are actually many more moments I can think of, and much funny at that, but this was supposed to be a quickie, and I can see that it ain’t damn … So let me just leave you all with this, go make myself productive, and not stress about life for a second or two. Hope you all have a great week, okay? Okay!
Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💗 pink heart in honour of Jin,
Marengo.
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